Ace of Spades HQ

March 18, 2012

The Perfect Woman
— LauraW

Maybe not perfect for you, darlings; lord knows that Morons demand only the best and brightest in ladyflesh.

Besides her, um, cognitive issues, her husband registers a 9.5 on the Douche-ter Scale.

Posted by: LauraW at 02:29 PM | Comments (258)
Post contains 38 words, total size 1 kb.

1 first yaaaay

Posted by: mallfly at March 18, 2012 02:32 PM (Df0od)

2 What's sad is I actually know these people.

Posted by: Brenden at March 18, 2012 02:33 PM (wa+SP)

3 Sounds like a fun date to me

Posted by: nevergiveup at March 18, 2012 02:35 PM (eCnLg)

4 She gets to vote.

Posted by: f2000 at March 18, 2012 02:35 PM (FcMtg)

5 She's like a Sex Pistols song.

Pretty vacant.

Posted by: Blanco Basura at March 18, 2012 02:36 PM (xKC/c)

6 Bless her heart.

Posted by: Ronster at March 18, 2012 02:37 PM (T1nDt)

7 Is that dude her husband? Because if he is, I'm thinking that marriage is doomed.

Posted by: Trimegistus at March 18, 2012 02:37 PM (co3zr)

8 Fifth! So... THATS how he got elected!

Posted by: Flerndorf at March 18, 2012 02:38 PM (mN8b2)

9 Look you really can't blame her, I mean she is sitting on her ass after all?

Posted by: nevergiveup at March 18, 2012 02:38 PM (eCnLg)

10 Of course the guy filming the video, and chatting while driving gets to vote too. At least she isn't immediately endangering anyone.

Posted by: f2000 at March 18, 2012 02:38 PM (FcMtg)

11 OK, I'm gonna give her the benefit of the doubt and figure she's in on the gag.....
I still couldn't take it past the 2 minute mark because I was getting flashbacks to political discussion with my clueless sister, who sounds just like this comedienne, and who also looked at me for frequent signs of approval that was never to come.....ever.

Ever.

Posted by: ontherocks at March 18, 2012 02:38 PM (ZJCDy)

12 She is probably good in the sack.

Posted by: Ronster at March 18, 2012 02:38 PM (T1nDt)

13 And she is a blond, priceless.

Posted by: Dave at March 18, 2012 02:38 PM (U4wla)

14 Is that asshole using a video camera while he's driving down the highway? Talk about a distracted driver.

Posted by: digitalbrownshirt at March 18, 2012 02:38 PM (eHwT1)

15 So does her votes count less as she gets older?

Posted by: kzintius at March 18, 2012 02:38 PM (0rxM+)

16 I got stupider just watching the first 45 seconds. Thanks. I didn't really need those brain cells anyway....

Posted by: NukemHill at March 18, 2012 02:39 PM (7WLzC)

17 Fifth! So... THATS how he got elected! Can't tell if she is perfect.... Can't see her tatas!

Posted by: Flerndorf at March 18, 2012 02:39 PM (mN8b2)

18
So we're buying birth control pills for this chick? Thankfully.

Posted by: Doctor Fish at March 18, 2012 02:39 PM (TkGkA)

19 Chelsea gave me the vapours.

Posted by: EROWMER at March 18, 2012 02:40 PM (sIm3i)

20 If it's a Chevy Volt that's be about 3 days give or take.

Posted by: Clutch Cargo at March 18, 2012 02:41 PM (Qxdfp)

21 She's hot, that's all that really matters, right?

Posted by: Grimaldi at March 18, 2012 02:43 PM (ex++0)

22 Hey it's not really a straight forward question. I mean at 80 MPH, just how many pee breaks are we talking?

Posted by: nevergiveup at March 18, 2012 02:43 PM (eCnLg)

23 Only a 9.5? You're underselling it. Definitely a solid 10.

Posted by: buzzion at March 18, 2012 02:43 PM (GULKT)

24 Yes. He is a total douche. Then again, I can't hold him responsible for it. It's as if he's discovered a new species and can't control the compulsion to share it with the world.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at March 18, 2012 02:43 PM (piMMO)

25 Despite the likely fact that this gal can suck the chrome off a trailer hitch, the scariest part of the whole deal is that these people will undoubtedly reproduce. Judging by their location, prolifically.

Posted by: Peaches at March 18, 2012 02:45 PM (w407e)

26 If she is in fact that stupid, it's a doubly epic failure to transparently detail the lack of cognition in her "thought process" as if generously offering a detailed glimpse of a great problem solver at work.

Posted by: ontherocks at March 18, 2012 02:45 PM (ZJCDy)

27 She's got to be faking it.

Posted by: toby928© at March 18, 2012 02:45 PM (GTbGH)

28 25 Despite the likely fact that this gal can suck the chrome off a trailer hitch, the scariest part of the whole deal is that these people will undoubtedly reproduce. Judging by their location, prolifically.

Posted by: Peaches at March 18, 2012 06:45 PM (w407e)

Probably not. They'll be killed in a car wreck from him filming with his phone while driving before that happens.

Posted by: buzzion at March 18, 2012 02:46 PM (GULKT)

Well, considering that we, complete strangers, are now making fun of her because he just had to publicize how dumb his wife it, yeah, a solid 10 on douchery.

So yeah, hot chick with a total douche. Seen that before.

Posted by: Lee (in KY) at March 18, 2012 02:47 PM (jgXna)

30
Is this like the two trains leaving at different times and where do they meet question?

I always answered at the station.

Posted by: Jessica Simpson at March 18, 2012 02:47 PM (TkGkA)

31 Wow, this is really cruel. And they are married? Why would he humiliate his wife by publishing something embarrassing like this?

Posted by: Elize Nayden / Elinsky at March 18, 2012 02:48 PM (1ZoqB)

32 She can't do math, but I bet she can hit a sleeping douchebag with a shovel.

Posted by: nickless at March 18, 2012 02:49 PM (MMC8r)

33 Why would he humiliate his wife bypublishing something embarrassing like this? Posted by: Elize Nayden / Elinsky at March 18, 2012 06:48 PM (1ZoqB) I don't get the question?

Posted by: Guy who shot his daughters computer at March 18, 2012 02:49 PM (eCnLg)

34 Fake.

Posted by: Wm T Sherman at March 18, 2012 02:50 PM (8hBZi)

35
I give this marriage a low probability of success. Actually, until about next Friday.

Posted by: Doctor Fish at March 18, 2012 02:50 PM (TkGkA)

36 She is necessarily so flukin good in the rack. She is apparently over 18 and not living at home so the fact that she has not starved is evidence that there is some value for someone to keep her around.

Posted by: yankeefifth at March 18, 2012 02:50 PM (Z9EHQ)

37 Another volt commercial? These commercials must cost more than the cars they are selling?

Posted by: nevergiveup at March 18, 2012 02:50 PM (eCnLg)

38 Dumb blondes are usually just smart enough to marry rich guys who don't have Wal-mart shopping bags in the back of their car. Sweetheart, put on a tube top and jump out of the goddamn car!

Posted by: Joanie (Oven Gloves) at March 18, 2012 02:51 PM (3wYCm)

39 I'd hit it.

Posted by: brak at March 18, 2012 02:51 PM (nIoiW)

40 You idiots. Speed is measured in "minutes and hours ratios". You can tell that you people never saw the inside of an Ivy League institution.

And lay off this poor girl. I looked worse trying to navigate that umbrella through the tricky gate, and that wasn't my fault, at all. That umbrella was broken.

Posted by: Barky the Tardy from Jakarty at March 18, 2012 02:52 PM (X3lox)

41 She can't do math, but I bet she can hit a sleeping douchebag with a shovel.

Bwahahahahahha.

Posted by: Retread at March 18, 2012 02:52 PM (joSBv)

42 I'd have liked it better if dude drove into a tree while videotaping himself.

Posted by: garrett at March 18, 2012 02:52 PM (f1dU+)

43
I'd hit it.

Posted by: Margaret Cho, Korean Bag Lady at March 18, 2012 02:52 PM (TkGkA)

44 When they put the camera on her near the 30 second mark she does seem to smile. Does it say "chelsea" on the rear window on the driver side?

Posted by: yankeefifth at March 18, 2012 02:52 PM (Z9EHQ)

45 I have to throw the bullshit fake flag here. It reminds me of a video I saw once of Jessica Simpson talking about chicken of the sea tuna being chicken. It was a put up job.

Posted by: Vic at March 18, 2012 02:54 PM (YdQQY)

46 The best thing about a BJ from that moronic twat would be the five minutes of silence.

Posted by: SGT Dan at March 18, 2012 02:54 PM (dqSmk)

47 When she does her 9 minute miles you have to wonder if it's on a static line in a fenced in kennel like apparatus.

Posted by: ontherocks at March 18, 2012 02:55 PM (ZJCDy)

48 If that is a iPhone she is holding, she just should have asked Siri. Who would have replied "Chelsea? How stupid are you?"

Posted by: nevergiveup at March 18, 2012 02:55 PM (eCnLg)

49

For all you oral prognosticators, she doesn't give skull pussy.

Posted by: Miss Cleo, Psychic Friends Network at March 18, 2012 02:55 PM (TkGkA)

50 Clearly, at 80 minutes and hours on the highway, after a reduction of 3000% due to air pressure being under 4200 pcis ... it would take 20 minutes.

Not perfect - yeah ... I'm not quite perfect ... but I'd give myself a solid B+ on the effort.

Posted by: Barky the Tardy from Jakarty at March 18, 2012 02:55 PM (X3lox)

51 I am sorry, yeah he's an insensitive troll...but come on, how does she even remember how to tie her shoes. That was so damn funny. Everybody here here has a very special person like that in our family, either direct, or in laws.

Posted by: Taiwan_Joe at March 18, 2012 02:55 PM (BVWfq)

52 She should receive any and all contraceptive aids she desires, in profusion.

Posted by: irongrampa at March 18, 2012 02:56 PM (SAMxH)

53 I knew a guy who's girl stuck her hand out the window while the car was under way and preceded to tell everyone how windy it was outside.

Posted by: ABouts at March 18, 2012 02:56 PM (BQvS5)

54 As has already been said; "Bless her heart".

What kind of a douche makes fun of his wife on the interwebs? I don't even care if she deserves it. She's your wife. Not cool.

Oh...I'd hit it.

Posted by: Contemplative Lobster at March 18, 2012 02:56 PM (TrNbx)

55 But what we like is a big tittied blond who can suck a golf ball through a garden hose and owns a liquor store.

If she can do differential and integral calculus that is just frosting on the cake.

Posted by: Vic at March 18, 2012 02:57 PM (YdQQY)

56 how does she even remember how to tie her shoes.

Velcro.

Posted by: Retread at March 18, 2012 02:57 PM (joSBv)

57 This guy Barnes on UNC has all the moves, but can't hit a freaked shot

Posted by: nevergiveup at March 18, 2012 02:57 PM (eCnLg)

58 33 Why would he humiliate his wife bypublishing something embarrassing like this? Posted by: Elize Nayden / Elinsky at March 18, 2012 06:48 PM (1ZoqB) apparently she needs to be a little less whiny when she is doing the only thing she could possibly be useful for keeping around.

Posted by: yankeefifth at March 18, 2012 02:58 PM (Z9EHQ)

59 This has to be a joke.

Posted by: Dianna at March 18, 2012 02:58 PM (mKMj1)

60 My wife's mother makes her look like MENSA material.

Posted by: nickless at March 18, 2012 02:58 PM (MMC8r)

61 Not sure what is says about him since he married her.

Posted by: Tami at March 18, 2012 02:58 PM (X6akg)

62 In all seriousness, did you ever really try to date stupid? It is impossible to date stupid for longer than a week or so, two dates is a long time.

Posted by: yankeefifth at March 18, 2012 03:00 PM (Z9EHQ)

63 He isn't going to think her math skills are so funny when the new wears off the sex.

Posted by: Retread at March 18, 2012 03:00 PM (joSBv)

64 >>If she can do differential and integral calculus that is just frosting on the cake. Posted by: Vic at March 18, 2012 06:57 PM (YdQQY)

Vic, I'd take a careful look at the type of cake you're eating as it may be negatively impacting your health. That's some rough ass frosting.

Posted by: ontherocks at March 18, 2012 03:00 PM (ZJCDy)

65 "Adding comments has been disabled for this video... Uh yeah... Good luck dude, its going to be a long ride.

Posted by: Howie at March 18, 2012 03:01 PM (/hzFh)

66 how does she even remember how to tie her shoes. Velcro. Posted by: Retread at March 18, 2012 06:57 PM (joSBv) are you fluking kidding velcro? loafers are the only thing keeping her feet dry.

Posted by: yankeefifth at March 18, 2012 03:01 PM (Z9EHQ)

67 I have a sneaking suspicion that it is fake. But he had comments going (like ours), then disabled comments. Making me think he has had some kind of regrets.

Don't know. That might be part of the theater. Who knows.

Posted by: lauraw at March 18, 2012 03:02 PM (DbybK)

68 are you fluking kidding velcro? loafers are the only thing keeping her feet dry. Posted by: yankeefifth at March 18, 2012 07:01 PM (Z9EHQ) She'd never figure out how to get that penny in

Posted by: nevergiveup at March 18, 2012 03:02 PM (eCnLg)

69 She probably blew him while he was driving right after that video was taken. So who's the fool here? Answer: us

Posted by: Zorachus at March 18, 2012 03:02 PM (Fq8j5)

70 If this was a joke it is going to be on her because she is going to have to spend forever convincing people it was a joke.

Posted by: yankeefifth at March 18, 2012 03:03 PM (Z9EHQ)

71 Dear God, that bitch is old enough to vote and make babies.

Posted by: Andy at March 18, 2012 03:03 PM (XG+Mn)

72 While my simple rule concerning experimentation is "never experiment on species with members capable of calculus", this blonde-haired woman specimen is a notable exception. Need to know how human pheromones work in attraction independent of intelligence of individuals. Enjoy yourself while possible, Chambers. Will be here studying cell reproduction. Much simpler. Less alcohol and mood music required.

Posted by: Mordin Solus at March 18, 2012 03:04 PM (UR5vq)

73 I can see this marriage ending before they reach Boise. So the mph really doesn't matter.

Posted by: Corona at March 18, 2012 03:04 PM (fh2Y7)

74 I was looking at a photo of that James Russel, Kony guy. He's got expensive blond highlights in his hair. What's up with that???

Posted by: mike at March 18, 2012 03:04 PM (kqXHe)

75 70 are you fluking kidding velcro? loafers are the only thing keeping her feet dry. Posted by: yankeefifth at March 18, 2012 07:01 PM (Z9EHQ) She'd never figure out how to get that penny in Posted by: nevergiveup at March 18, 2012 07:02 PM (eCnLg) I heard she came home a week ago with only one loafer on because she was at the store and the bill came to $13.01

Posted by: yankeefifth at March 18, 2012 03:05 PM (Z9EHQ)

76 are you fluking kidding velcro? loafers are the only thing keeping her feet dry.
Posted by: yankeefifth at March 18, 2012 07:01 PM (Z9EHQ)

She'd never figure out how to get that penny in

Posted by: nevergiveup at March 18, 2012 07:02 PM (eCnLg)

I thought about flip-flops but she'd have that whole which toes go where decision to make.

Posted by: Retread at March 18, 2012 03:05 PM (joSBv)

77 You could say what with the tire speed issues and the running a mile in 7 minutes stuff and the weight of the truck making it slower part, she was over-thinking it. I do not believe over-thinking is her problem, though.

Math is hard. I'd say it's also racist, but she's blonde.

Posted by: huerfano at March 18, 2012 03:05 PM (bAGA/)

78 Let's put it this way: if I saw her in a bar and she was single, I might look her way. That's about it. But her voice is so nasally, so annoying, and she is a DUMBBELL, so I would pass even if she could suck dick better than sucking chrome off a fender. 'Nuff said.

Posted by: Anson Mitchell at March 18, 2012 03:05 PM (IhUxK)

79 Please be nice. You are talking about the future Mrs. Ammo Dump.

Posted by: Ammo Dump at March 18, 2012 03:06 PM (WUWb9)

80 46 I have to throw the bullshit fake flag here. It reminds me of a video I saw once of Jessica Simpson talking about chicken of the sea tuna being chicken. It was a put up job.[i/]

Agree. Simpson was also the one who "thought" that buffalo wings came from buffalo. Nobody is that stupid outside of MSNBC. The autonomic nervous system would shut down.

Posted by: pep at March 18, 2012 03:07 PM (6TB1Z)

81 71 She probably blew him while he was driving right after that video was taken. So who's the fool here? Answer: us Posted by: Zorachus at March 18, 2012 07:02 PM (Fq8j5) I am guessing he made the video because she got on her high horse and started makin a fuss and sayin she ain't gonna be blowin' no more.

Posted by: yankeefifth at March 18, 2012 03:07 PM (Z9EHQ)

Posted by: pep at March 18, 2012 03:07 PM (6TB1Z)

83 I agree with #84!!!

Posted by: Ammo Dump at March 18, 2012 03:08 PM (WUWb9)

84 And, the Obama administration has its new OMB director....

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at March 18, 2012 03:08 PM (U69e0)

85 @85
RINO

Posted by: pep at March 18, 2012 03:08 PM (6TB1Z)

86 It reminds me of a video I saw once of Jessica Simpson talking about chicken of the sea tuna being chicken.

***

Dude.

BJ and the Bear screwed me up for years. I couldn't tell a monkey from a bear.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at March 18, 2012 03:09 PM (piMMO)

87 This guy obviously never heard of Loraine Bobbit

Posted by: nevergiveup at March 18, 2012 03:09 PM (eCnLg)

88 This is the type of girl you can send to the store to buy you some dingleberries so you can bake a pie.

Posted by: garrett at March 18, 2012 03:11 PM (f1dU+)

89 Garrett, you did that to some poor schmuck, didn't ya?

Posted by: Tami at March 18, 2012 03:12 PM (X6akg)

90 I am guessing he made the video because she got on her high horse and started makin a fuss and sayin she ain't gonna be blowin' no more.

Or she has as much trouble with the concepts of blow and suck as she does with miles per hour.

Posted by: Retread at March 18, 2012 03:12 PM (joSBv)

91 Or she has as much trouble with the concepts of blow and suck as she does with miles per hour.

*****

But I'm blowing as hard as I can!

Posted by: Douche's Blond Wife at March 18, 2012 03:14 PM (piMMO)

Posted by: Tami at March 18, 2012 07:12 PM (X6akg)

My friends little sister was the last to fall for that one...poor thing.

We sent her back in to make sure they weren't wrong.

Posted by: garrett at March 18, 2012 03:14 PM (f1dU+)

93 Agree. Simpson was also the one who "thought" that buffalo wings came from buffalo. Nobody is that stupid outside of MSNBC. The autonomic nervous system would shut down. Posted by: pep at March 18, 2012 07:07 PM

Now, now. Be nice. My ex and I were in a restaurant way back when, and I ordered chicken fried steak. She ordered chicken. I asked the waitress to make sure the chicken was through cookin' my steak before they prepared it for her.

The look I got from the ex made Pawn Stars' "Chumlee" look like Big Al Einstein.

Posted by: MrScribbler at March 18, 2012 03:14 PM (SLZUA)

94 My wife's mother makes her look like MENSA material.

We're hoping (for your sake) that it skipped a generation?

My wife has a Masters in IT.

My mother-in-law calls once a week minimum to tell us her thermostat is broken because she's cold.

Posted by: nickless at March 18, 2012 03:14 PM (MMC8r)

95 Whenever I've had a truly mortifying "dumb blond" moment, it's because I've mistaken something simple for complex.

It's never fun when it happens.

OTOH, you morons might all have this backward. Maybe *he's* the one who's value is in bed. Hm?

Posted by: Synova at March 18, 2012 03:15 PM (P0X9Q)

96 That had to be after they both took massive bong rips.

Posted by: ErikW at March 18, 2012 03:16 PM (QlT47)

97
Hey conservatives, she's someones daughter so knock it off.
And stop calling me a shrew.

Posted by: Eleanor Clift at March 18, 2012 03:17 PM (TkGkA)

98 Although I did tell my wife that the car in front of us was a 1968 Pontiac Ground Squirrel, one of the less-successful animal named cars.

I actually got a "really?" out of her before she caught on.

I treasure that 'really?'

Posted by: nickless at March 18, 2012 03:18 PM (MMC8r)

99 How they met: Excuse me, miss. A poisonous snake just bit my penis and I need someone to suck the venom out.

Posted by: somebody else, not me at March 18, 2012 03:18 PM (nZvGM)

100 My mother-in-law calls once a week minimum to tell us her thermostat is broken because she's cold.

So, what you're saying is that she could sub for Fox Butterfield at the NYT?

Posted by: pep at March 18, 2012 03:18 PM (6TB1Z)

101 And stop calling me a shrew

You're right. You look more like a naked mole rat.

Posted by: pep at March 18, 2012 03:19 PM (6TB1Z)

102 I expect it's fake. However, I saw no reason to watch more than a few seconds of it.

Does he realize that she could knife him while he's sleeping? I think the best policy is to not be a dick like he's being.

Would I marry someone as dumb as she appears to be? No way.

Posted by: cranky-d at March 18, 2012 03:19 PM (kMSec)

103 .... when did Meghan McCain lose all the weight....

Posted by: fixerupper at March 18, 2012 03:21 PM (ffV1/)

104 It's a fake, no way that girl runs a mile in 9 minutes.

Posted by: Adam Smith's Invisible Pimp Hand at March 18, 2012 03:23 PM (tKFT6)

105 It's a fake, no way that girl runs a mile in 9 minutes.

****

Sure she can. Just tell her the refrigerator is running at 10 mph.

Posted by: Douche's Blond Wife at March 18, 2012 03:24 PM (piMMO)

106 Obviously, this poor blonde woman is in desperate need of a silicone brain implant.

Posted by: Chaz at March 18, 2012 03:24 PM (niZvt)

107 Irregardless of weather she's, like, actually for real this, um, like, stupid, it's totally way uncool of him to expose her to an emoticon of ridicule on these internets.

Posted by: Meghan McCain's Boobehs at March 18, 2012 03:25 PM (I/cLr)

108 bunk!

Posted by: Modgi at March 18, 2012 03:25 PM (3xuDv)

109 Off, chaz sock

Posted by: CoolCzech at March 18, 2012 03:25 PM (niZvt)

110 She's almost as dumb as Miriam Raftery or Cynthia Clinkingbeard. Links in the sidebar.

Posted by: Truman North at March 18, 2012 03:26 PM (I2LwF)

111 I take it given this is fake.

Posted by: CoolCzech at March 18, 2012 03:26 PM (niZvt)

112 Damn auto-correct...

Posted by: CoolCzech at March 18, 2012 03:27 PM (niZvt)

113
This just demonstrates how conservatives continue to demean and dehumanize women for their own sexual gratification. Stop the proliferate fapping.

Posted by: Sandra at March 18, 2012 03:27 PM (TkGkA)

114 Hot chick with a douchebag. Didn't somebody write as book about that?

Posted by: Paul at March 18, 2012 03:27 PM (3TGQT)

115 I can see my own sweet wife doing this. She isnt such a ding-a-ling, she's more of a clang-a-lang, but posting this video goes way beyond the unwritten rules.

Posted by: fozzy at March 18, 2012 03:29 PM (FEzSe)

116
He's going to pay for embarrassing one of our own.

Posted by: NAG'S, National Association of Gals at March 18, 2012 03:29 PM (TkGkA)

117 I thought there was no math on this blog.

Just as I can decipher what Sheldon Cooper says, she makes sense at times. And, yes, I am a blonde. For some reason she was thinking of running the mile as humanoid, not a car. Otherwise I cannot figure out her reasoning.

I don't care as long as FSU wins tonight.

Posted by: ChristyBlinky loves Rubio at March 18, 2012 03:31 PM (baL2B)

118 I wonder if he's driving her to a conference of her fellow global warming climate scientists?

Posted by: chuckr at March 18, 2012 03:31 PM (XLu7l)

119 25 Despite the likely fact that this gal can suck the chrome off a trailer hitch, the scariest part of the whole deal is that these people will undoubtedly reproduce. Judging by their location, prolifically. I'm guessing they're in the Dakotas somewhere, judging by the landscape.

Posted by: CoolCzech at March 18, 2012 03:32 PM (niZvt)

120 how someone like that can walk on this planet and not trip over themselves and die of stupidity is a minor miracle Posted by: chemjeff at March 18, 2012 07:31 PM (7FadD) Well usually someone that stupid has help from the Secret Service

Posted by: nevergiveup at March 18, 2012 03:32 PM (eCnLg)

121
I'm guessing they're in the Dakotas somewhere, judging by the landscape.

Posted by: CoolCzech at March 18, 2012 07:32 PM (niZvt)

How about I-Dee-Ho!

Posted by: Rand McNally at March 18, 2012 03:32 PM (TkGkA)

122 I don't care as long as FSU wins tonight. Posted by: ChristyBlinky loves Rubio at March 18, 2012 07:31 PM (baL2B) They are only up by 30 so if the car goes 80MPH....

Posted by: nevergiveup at March 18, 2012 03:33 PM (eCnLg)

123 123 I wonder if he's driving her to a conference of her fellow global warming climate scientists? Posted by: chuckr at March 18, 2012 07:31 PM (XLu7l) You can tell she's wearing astronaut panties, and asked him to drive her to his girlfriend's house.

Posted by: CoolCzech at March 18, 2012 03:33 PM (niZvt)

124 She ran Alvin Greene's campaign, didn't she?

Posted by: nickless at March 18, 2012 03:34 PM (MMC8r)

125 At the divorce, her math skills will be perfect!!

Posted by: Nickie Goomba at March 18, 2012 03:34 PM (jeLTI)

126 Just a guess here, but based on her age and name, "Chelsea", she was probably raised by a coupla libtards. I purposely avoided my children's classmates named Chelsea, but I have a low tolerance for idiots.

Posted by: Justamom at March 18, 2012 03:34 PM (Sptt8)

127 Nevergive up...that is FLORIDA playing right now, FSU's enemy. Florida State is my team, playing at the horrific hour of 9:40, or 12;eleventy, depending on your time zone.Take it back.

Posted by: ChristyBlinky loves Rubio at March 18, 2012 03:35 PM (baL2B)

128
Well, now we know how Obama was elected.

And why he'll be re-elected.

Posted by: Brown Line at March 18, 2012 03:36 PM (OlzV/)

129 Nevergive up...that is FLORIDA playing right now, FSU's enemy. Florida State is my team, playing at the horrific hour of 9:40, or 12;eleventy, depending on your time zone.Take it back. Posted by: ChristyBlinky loves Rubio at March 18, 2012 07:35 PM (baL2B) How many freaked teams from Florida do they allow in this tourney? Yeah and your right I aught a know that since my niece went to FSU. My bad

Posted by: nevergiveup at March 18, 2012 03:37 PM (eCnLg)

130 There is only one way to make her shut up .

Posted by: Bill D. Cat at March 18, 2012 03:37 PM (npr0X)

131 Davy Jones Dead?

Posted by: Randy Scouse Git at March 18, 2012 03:37 PM (Acyax)

132 For what it's worth, I know a lot of pretty dumb people whose lives and company I value more highly than a lot of smart people I know. As a general rule, intelligence does not determine whether I like someone. After all, an egoist like me is always the smartest man in the room, anyway.

Just had to throw that out there.

Posted by: Mr. Lurky McLurkington, Esq. at March 18, 2012 03:39 PM (mCKMG)

133 75
I was looking at a photo of that James Russel, Kony guy. He's got expensive blond highlights in his hair. What's up with that??? Posted by: mike

He's well-off. His salary is not quite $90,000, which is plenty to live quite well, and it may not be his only support.

Posted by: Dianna at March 18, 2012 03:39 PM (mKMj1)

134 Well, now we know how Obama was elected. And why he'll be re-elected. Posted by: Brown Line at March 18, 2012 07:36 PM (OlzV/) yeah sure, you think they are going to be able to find the polls and or get there before they close?

Posted by: yankeefifth at March 18, 2012 03:40 PM (Z9EHQ)

135 I'm not saying she's dumb, but I have a liver fluke that can beat her in a spelling contest.

Posted by: GnuBreed at March 18, 2012 03:41 PM (ccXZP)

136 For you single guys? This is what you DON'T do. Ever. This marriage is toast. And he is a major douche. And no, you really can't fix stupid....

Posted by: DocinPA at March 18, 2012 03:42 PM (3yk5K)

137 How about I-Dee-Ho! Posted by: Rand McNally at March 18, 2012 07:32 PM (TkGkA) I am guessing utah to idaho, cause that's what he said.

Posted by: yankeefifth at March 18, 2012 03:42 PM (Z9EHQ)

138 How many freaked teams from Florida do they allow in this tourney?

*****

All of them?

Posted by: Douche's Blond Wife at March 18, 2012 03:43 PM (piMMO)

139 I am also assuming he is driving 80.

Posted by: yankeefifth at March 18, 2012 03:43 PM (Z9EHQ)

140 Oops, I didn't mean to demean idiots by inferring them to be democrats. All democrats are idiots, but not all idiots are democrats.

Posted by: Justamom at March 18, 2012 03:44 PM (Sptt8)

141 I love how she asked him to stop filming, so he posted it on youtube.

And they seemed like newlyweds. That's gonna go over great.

Posted by: Clubber Lang at March 18, 2012 03:45 PM (ZPrif)

142 A charming couple.

Posted by: USA at March 18, 2012 03:46 PM (6Cjut)

143 Obama is a stuttering clusterf*ck of a miserable failure.

Posted by: steevy at March 18, 2012 03:47 PM (7W3wI)

144 I love how she asked him to stop filming, so he posted it on youtube. And they seemed like newlyweds. That's gonna go over great. Posted by: Clubber Lang at March 18, 2012 07:45 PM (ZPrif) She is gonna be really pissed when he posts the honeymoon video of her trying to put the condom on herself.

Posted by: yankeefifth at March 18, 2012 03:47 PM (Z9EHQ)

145
Hey, let me settle this disagreement between Chelsea and her husband. If you're traveling 80 miles per hour and you travel 80 miles, it would take you approximately 40-45 minutes depending on the headwind. Stop making fun of Chelsea, she's a voter too!

Posted by: Joe "Slow Joe" Biden at March 18, 2012 03:47 PM (TkGkA)

146 Hey, let me settle this disagreement between Chelsea and her husband. If you're traveling 80 miles per hour and you travel 80 miles, it would take you approximately 40-45 minutes depending on the headwind. Stop making fun of Chelsea, she's a voter too! Posted by: Joe "Slow Joe" Biden at March 18, 2012 07:47 PM (TkGkA) she is a Road Scholar

Posted by: yankeefifth at March 18, 2012 03:49 PM (Z9EHQ)

147 she is going to have to post a sex tape to erase this from everyone's memory.

Posted by: yankeefifth at March 18, 2012 03:50 PM (Z9EHQ)

148 Note that Travis Chambers puts his copyright on the vid. He's hoping to cash in.

Megadouche.

Posted by: nickless at March 18, 2012 03:50 PM (MMC8r)

149 she is a Road Scholar Posted by: yankeefifth at March 18, 2012 07:49 PM (Z9EHQ) Ouch

Posted by: nevergiveup at March 18, 2012 03:50 PM (eCnLg)

150 Romney won Puerto Rico

Posted by: Jumbo Jogging Shrimp at March 18, 2012 03:50 PM (DGIjM)

151 pehaps rode scholar is more appropriate since that is the only way she ever got a diploma.

Posted by: yankeefifth at March 18, 2012 03:51 PM (Z9EHQ)

152 Note that Travis Chambers puts his copyright on the vid. He's hoping to cash in. Megadouche. Posted by: nickless at March 18, 2012 07:50 PM (MMC8r) Any relation to Robert Chambers?

Posted by: nevergiveup at March 18, 2012 03:51 PM (eCnLg)

153 157 Romney won Puerto Rico Posted by: Jumbo Jogging Shrimp at March 18, 2012 07:50 PM (DGIjM) obama is gonna have to visit more than fifty states this time around now that PR is in play.

Posted by: yankeefifth at March 18, 2012 03:52 PM (Z9EHQ)

154 married 4 months when video posted.

Posted by: USA at March 18, 2012 03:52 PM (6Cjut)

155 Suzanne Summers redux.

Posted by: Dadof3 at March 18, 2012 03:53 PM (8kCoq)

156 Oh, I think it's real. I used to work with a girl this dumb. Seriously, seriously clueless. We died laughing every day at the office because she'd come out with stupid stuff like this every day without fail. We used to joke, "what did Brittaney say today?"

Nicest girl I've ever met. No guile in her at all - a complete innocent. Totally incapable of telling a lie or saying an unkind word or spreading one bit of gossip. If you told her to do something, she's keep at it till she got it done. She only ever saw the good in someone - never their flaws.

Sweet. Childlike. Incredibly dumb. And a really fine person. She married a boy just as dumb as she is and they are happy as clams.

Posted by: mama winger at March 18, 2012 03:53 PM (P6QsQ)

157 If this is for real, the hubby is indeed a d-bag and an aZZhole. And a big piece of SHHHHHHH*T.

Posted by: KR1 at March 18, 2012 03:54 PM (oEfom)

158 "Of course the guy filming the video, and chatting while driving gets to vote too."

It's a freeway in the west. You lash down the steering wheel and put a brick on the accelerator, then mix up a few martinis.

Posted by: Ernst Blofeld at March 18, 2012 03:55 PM (V7mkK)

159 I love your hump, LauraW.

Posted by: Michael Schenker Flying V at March 18, 2012 03:56 PM (t5TEt)

160 Hey conservatives, she's someones daughter so knock it off.

Posted by: Eleanor Clift at March 18, 2012 07:17 PM (TkGkA)

Oh. Please. Eleanor. You're just jealous because a dick hasn't passed through your lips since you got on your knees for Jimmuh during the Carter administration.

Posted by: Ombudsman at March 18, 2012 03:57 PM (AxHOT)

161

It's a freeway in the west. You lash down the steering wheel and put a brick on the accelerator, then mix up a few martinis.

I am assuming you already have a number rolled for the road...

Posted by: Michael Schenker Flying V at March 18, 2012 03:57 PM (t5TEt)

162
So how many of you meanie men have given a chick in the office a banana so you could watch her eat it? Chelsea wouldn't disappoint.

Posted by: Doctor Fish at March 18, 2012 03:57 PM (TkGkA)

163 If this is for real, the hubby is indeed a d-bag and an aZZhole. And a big piece of SHHHHHHH*T. Posted by: KR1 at March 18, 2012 07:54 PM (oEfom) he is either way. who would intentionally make his wife look vapid? even if it is fake it is going to have a lasting negative effect on her. a sex tape could have been the foundation of a business empire like that girl kim kardashian did. slutty sells,apparently, I am guessing stupid not so much. If she is that stupid it is going to take a special ed intervention to explain to her how stupid she is and how mean he is.

Posted by: yankeefifth at March 18, 2012 03:58 PM (Z9EHQ)

164 I have a couple friends this dumb.

Posted by: Jumbo Jogging Shrimp at March 18, 2012 03:58 PM (DGIjM)

165 OK, funny, but I think I see the confusion (and all confusion is stupid until you figure it out). She doesn't know what "per" means. So instead of: miles/mph = hours She's trying a much more complex miles/(1/mph) = hours and then trying to figure it out by miles-per-minute. So, if it's a fake, it's a clever one. If not, meh: Everyone thinks SOME stupid things.

Posted by: movigique at March 18, 2012 03:59 PM (Cepxj)

166 I have a couple friends this dumb. Posted by: Jumbo Jogging Shrimp at March 18, 2012 07:58 PM (DGIjM) 52% I bet

Posted by: nevergiveup at March 18, 2012 04:00 PM (eCnLg)

167 171 I have a couple friends this dumb. Posted by: Jumbo Jogging Shrimp at March 18, 2012 07:58 PM (DGIjM) Are you talking about your breast friends?

Posted by: CoolCzech at March 18, 2012 04:01 PM (niZvt)

168 169 So how many of you meanie men have given a chick in the office a banana so you could watch her eat it? Posted by: Doctor Fish at March 18, 2012 07:57 PM (TkGkA) All that chewing sort of ruins it.

Posted by: CoolCzech at March 18, 2012 04:03 PM (niZvt)

169 Clams should be happy. Those little helmeted snot fritters live forever. First link I found had this tidbit. ...."Climate researchers at Bangor University in the United Kingdom recently counted 405 annual growth rings in the shells of a quahog clam....."
....Link in name (maybe).

Posted by: Lincolntf at March 18, 2012 04:04 PM (HethX)

170 All that chewing sort of ruins it. Posted by: CoolCzech at March 18, 2012 08:03 PM (niZvt)

equally bad are when she eats the whole thing in one bite or after she gags and spits the banana in her coffee.

Posted by: yankeefifth at March 18, 2012 04:04 PM (Z9EHQ)

171 Except for posting the video, which is a douchebag move, I thought the guy was pretty decent in the actual conversation. If this not a set up, it appears he knows who he married and is alright with it.

Posted by: polynikes - Texan for Romney at March 18, 2012 04:05 PM (TIlqH)

172

Wow, I've had these discussions with the Radiology majors taking Introductory Physics (Physics 100) as their technical elective! If you want to experience extra fun, try getting them to understand the difference between "acceleration" and "velocity"!!!!

Posted by: Retired Buckeye Cop at March 18, 2012 04:05 PM (M0NzJ)

173 I'm not the sharpest knife in the drawer, but there are moments when I wish I could just flip the dumb switch and be ignorantly blissful like that. Posted by: Soap MacTavish at March 18, 2012 08:05 PM (vbh31) yeha she is really looking forward to their new home where she can raise bunnies.

Posted by: yankeefifth at March 18, 2012 04:06 PM (Z9EHQ)

174 I missed the story from a few days ago but what about that charge that Kirk Douglas raped Natalie Wood.

Someone's gonna get their arse sued off.

Posted by: Douche's Blond Wife at March 18, 2012 04:06 PM (piMMO)

175 C'mon, if she's strictly dickly, who the hell really cares?

Posted by: Fritz at March 18, 2012 04:08 PM (KWdVT)

176 i know these people.....and i love them.....

Posted by: phoenixgirl at March 18, 2012 04:09 PM (Ho2rs)

177 Rough ballgame on now between Xavier and Lehigh TruTV network.

Posted by: Lincolntf at March 18, 2012 04:09 PM (HethX)

178 I am guessing this was an audition tape for the blonde girl role on that big bang theory show.

Posted by: yankeefifth at March 18, 2012 04:11 PM (Z9EHQ)

179 penny......penny.....penny......

Posted by: sheldon at March 18, 2012 04:13 PM (Ho2rs)

180 Her hubby can make fun of her all he wants. She still gets half his shit when she divorces him.

Posted by: Jason at March 18, 2012 04:14 PM (6VB4r)

181 This just illustrates the need for high-speed rail.

Posted by: toby928© at March 18, 2012 04:14 PM (GTbGH)

182 Chelsea, get a man who will pay your bills without mocking you. I have more respect for a dumb blonde than I do for a man who publicly shames a stupid loved one.

Posted by: veekapoo at March 18, 2012 04:15 PM (sqVOl)

183 i do agree that it sucks the husband put it on the interwebs....

Posted by: phoenixgirl at March 18, 2012 04:15 PM (Ho2rs)

184 It is suspicious that they are driving around in flyover land and she is so ignorant of how cars work. If she lived in nyc where lots of people do not even have a license and 52% of those that do have no idea how to drive, it would be more believable.

Posted by: yankeefifth at March 18, 2012 04:15 PM (Z9EHQ)

185 God I hope she wears roller skates!

Posted by: C.P. at March 18, 2012 04:16 PM (bQ+NP)

186 This just illustrates the need for high-speed rail. Posted by: toby928Â© at March 18, 2012 08:14 PM (GTbGH) the problem is if you use a train with smaller wheels or shorter cars it will take longer to get there.

Posted by: yankeefifth at March 18, 2012 04:17 PM (Z9EHQ)

187 You're supposed to chew bananas!?!

Posted by: veekapoo at March 18, 2012 04:18 PM (sqVOl)

188 You're supposed to chew bananas!?! Posted by: veekapoo at March 18, 2012 08:18 PM (sqVOl) how you doin'?

Posted by: yankeefifth at March 18, 2012 04:19 PM (Z9EHQ)

189
Memo to Axelrod: Let's get Chelsea for our next video castigating conservatives. Tell her she can meet me for a one-on-one.

Posted by: Barky Milhouse Obama at March 18, 2012 04:19 PM (TkGkA)

190 Memo to Axelrod: Let's get Chelsea for our next video castigating conservatives. Tell her she can meet me for a one-on-one. Posted by: Barky Milhouse Obama at March 18, 2012 08:19 PM (TkGkA) maybe she can explain the whole debt thing to zero?

Posted by: yankeefifth at March 18, 2012 04:20 PM (Z9EHQ)

191 maybe she can explain the whole debt thing to zero? Posted by: yankeefifth at March 18, 2012 08:20 PM (Z9EHQ) -------------------------------------------------------- Look smart guy.... you don't need to explain profits to earnings ratios to me.

Posted by: Preznit Training Pants at March 18, 2012 04:22 PM (jucos)

192 just cut it in half

Posted by: phoenixgirl at March 18, 2012 04:22 PM (Ho2rs)

193 I found her Facebook page. Not much on it but one of her favorite movies is Dumb and Dumber.....seriously.

Posted by: Tami at March 18, 2012 04:23 PM (X6akg)

194 Looks like Romney is going to get all the delegates in Puerto Rico. Its a blowout.

Posted by: Jumbo Jogging Shrimp at March 18, 2012 04:24 PM (DGIjM)

195 Supposedly Liam Neeson is thinking of "giving up hi Roman Catholic beliefs to become a (what else?) muslim. Now I ask you: How do you "give up" a BELIEF? I mean, you either believe something to be true or not. What a shallow trendy asshole Liam is. How chic he must feel, going muzzie... Boy, he sure showed us rubes, right?

Posted by: CoolCzech at March 18, 2012 04:25 PM (niZvt)

196 Meh. She's still smarter than Tim Geithner.

Posted by: Cicero at March 18, 2012 04:25 PM (yQwq5)

197 really, he would have been better off to post a sex tape because being labeled as stupid forever is going to be worse.

Posted by: yankeefifth at March 18, 2012 04:25 PM (Z9EHQ)

198 203 Looks like Romney is going to get all the delegates in Puerto Rico. Its a blowout. Posted by: Jumbo Jogging Shrimp at March 18, 2012 08:24 PM (DGIjM) it's "winner take all" in PR, even without a blowout.

Posted by: CoolCzech at March 18, 2012 04:26 PM (niZvt)

199 Kendel Marshall of UNC broke his wrist in the just completed game. That should knock him out for the rest of the Tourney

Posted by: nevergiveup at March 18, 2012 04:27 PM (eCnLg)

200 Wait? Did all y'all watch it with the sound on? Because if so, you are doing it wrong.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD 2012 at March 18, 2012 04:27 PM (Gk3SS)

201 one of her favorite movies is Dumb and Dumber.....seriously.
Posted by: Tami at March 18, 2012 08:23 PM
-----
I believe her stock just went up a bit.

Hmmmm.

Posted by: Contemplative Lobster at March 18, 2012 04:27 PM (TrNbx)

202 Supposedly Liam Neeson is thinking of "giving up hi Roman Catholic beliefs to become a (what else?) muslim. Now I ask you: How do you "give up" a BELIEF? I mean, you either believe something to be true or not. What a shallow trendy asshole Liam is. How chic he must feel, going muzzie... Boy, he sure showed us rubes, right? Posted by: CoolCzech at March 18, 2012 08:25 PM (niZvt) you are rehashing one of my favorite arguments. I have done serious damage to myself trying to explain the relationship between knowledge, belief, and truth to a couple of libtards. even a picture is not enough.

Posted by: yankeefifth at March 18, 2012 04:28 PM (Z9EHQ)

203 Oh, the things I'd talk her into doing...

Posted by: Gromulin at March 18, 2012 04:28 PM (7Zrx4)

204 it's "winner take all" in PR, even without a blowout. Posted by: CoolCzech at March 18, 2012 08:26 PM (niZvt) I thought it was winner take all if he got over 51% of the vote...

Posted by: Jumbo Jogging Shrimp at March 18, 2012 04:28 PM (DGIjM)

205 fake

Posted by: Old grizzled gym coach at March 18, 2012 04:29 PM (QBQcg)

206 it's "winner take all" in PR, even without a blowout. Posted by: CoolCzech at March 18, 2012 08:26 PM (niZvt) Actually it was only winner take all if the winner gets more than 51%, but he did so it is winner take all

Posted by: nevergiveup at March 18, 2012 04:29 PM (eCnLg)

207 The one thing I have learned from 26 years of marriage?

She's right.

Posted by: Kasper Hauser at March 18, 2012 04:29 PM (tB2tX)

208 203 Looks like Romney is going to get all the delegates in Puerto Rico. Its a blowout. Posted by: Jumbo Jogging Shrimp at March 18, 2012 08:24 PM (DGIjM) it's "winner take all" in PR, even without a blowout. Posted by: CoolCzech at March 18, 2012 08:26 PM (niZvt) I am sure he feeling really dirty now that he was lounging around topless in pr trying to swing votes at the last minute. was it worth it ricky?

Posted by: yankeefifth at March 18, 2012 04:29 PM (Z9EHQ)

209 Well, we know he didn't marry her for her maths skills...

Posted by: Sweet Meteor of Death at March 18, 2012 04:30 PM (SWQUq)

210 yeah, but if it is fake, unless she has a folder full of documentation, including original work in particle physics, she is still stupid because she will be forever labeled as on the internets.

Posted by: yankeefifth at March 18, 2012 04:32 PM (Z9EHQ)

211 The fact that he deliberately chose this woman says a lot about him.

Posted by: disa at March 18, 2012 04:33 PM (v7+7U)

212 Wow. This is how a huge amount of the population, and inversely proportionate to age I suspect, does what it thinks of as thinking. This is their method of reasoning. "I'm going to figure what makes sense given everything I know." That is, given nothing. Given not even a passing grasp of the meaning of the very words used. (After all, don't words mean anything you want, and so, you know, whatever, you know what I mean?) I'm surprised she didn't directly ask, "Okay, I know you're asking me how long it will take at 80 miles per hour--MPH, just in case you didn't think I knew exactly what you meant!--but I think it depends on how fast you're going, too, so how fast are you going at 80 MPH?"

Posted by: D1 at March 18, 2012 04:33 PM (fIkHQ)

213 I have done serious damage to myself trying to explain the relationship between knowledge, belief, and truth to a couple of libtards. even a picture is not enough.

Finger puppets. Finger puppets are the key to explaining these things.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD 2012 at March 18, 2012 04:33 PM (Gk3SS)

214 Yes.... The dude is quite douche-tacular. Taking great delight in belittling the handicapped.

Posted by: Truck Monkey at March 18, 2012 04:35 PM (jucos)

215
Yeah, you've broken my heart posters, and it's true I don't know much about math, but I cook a mean pound cake. And he's never complained about my oral skills. Please stop hurting me you meanies.

Posted by: Chelsea at March 18, 2012 04:36 PM (TkGkA)

216 Since we're talking about relationships, I'm divorcing FoxNews and filing for a restraining order. 1. The Afghanistan murderer's wife has a blog. Fox reads a tiny blurb written during a 2006! deployment just after having a baby. She says something perfectly normal like "Bob left for Iraq today... (new baby's name) slept in our bed." Douchey, jr., the reporter says something like "a very lonely woman." WTF? Yeah, spin normal deployment homefront life into your bs, ignorant civilian. If you want that narrative so badly, work harder. Lazy SOB. 2. FoxNews coverage of Afghanistan consists of three pieces of offal. a. The scroll. Nothing on the big screen unless: b. The talking head polishing cushions in Kabul feels like adding nothing of importance to the conversation on a live feed. c. The rest of the MSM has an incorrect narration to fap over. Fox loves to join in on circle jerks. And, let's toss in an addendum: they don't embed and they still give money to the guy who draws in the sand. I'm suing for the house and the cars. You can keep the snack trays which litter the green room. Carbs are gross. Ain't divorce grand?

Posted by: veekapoo at March 18, 2012 04:36 PM (sqVOl)

217 Is this girl 18 yet?

Posted by: nevergiveup at March 18, 2012 04:38 PM (eCnLg)

218 Did you ever think you'd say Lehigh and Sweet 16 in the same sentence?

Posted by: nevergiveup at March 18, 2012 04:39 PM (eCnLg)

219 203 Looks like Romney is going to get all the delegates in Puerto Rico. Its a blowout.

Posted by: Jumbo Jogging Shrimp at March 18, 2012 08:24 PM (DGIjM)

I hear that Gabe is going to include in his headlines post tomorrow about Santorum again pushing social conservative issues today again. Afterall he attended church this morning and what other purpose is there for him to do that.

Posted by: buzzion at March 18, 2012 04:40 PM (GULKT)

220 Did you ever think you'd say Lehigh and Sweet 16 in the same sentence?

I loved the "We're still extremely Lehigh" sign someone had in the crowd.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD 2012 at March 18, 2012 04:40 PM (Gk3SS)

221 Yeah, you've broken my heart posters, and it's true I don't know much about math, but I cook a mean pound cake. And he's never complained about my oral skills. Please stop hurting me you meanies. Posted by: Chelsea at March 18, 2012 08:36 PM (TkGkA) Let me tell you something you cannot make a pound cake without math. I am guessing her understanding or weights and measures it not sufficient to make a mean pound cake. chelsea's pound cake: pound flour, pound of sugar, pound of butter, pound of vanilla, pound of baking soda. pound together

Posted by: yankeefifth at March 18, 2012 04:41 PM (Z9EHQ)

222 I'll bet you could get her to lick your ice cream cone.

Posted by: booger at March 18, 2012 04:42 PM (HI6wa)

223 Is the official team vehicle the LeCar? Should be.

Posted by: Lincolntf at March 18, 2012 04:44 PM (HethX)

224 Ain't divorce grand? Posted by: veekapoo at March 18, 2012 08:36 PM (sqVOl) I cannot believe the news media decided it was wise or appropriate to show the house given the muslim rage boys and the likelihood they will attack the house. maybe that was his plan all along - have some muslim rage boys burn his house to the ground for the insurance. yep thats the plan.

Posted by: yankeefifth at March 18, 2012 04:44 PM (Z9EHQ)

225 The ONT is up...early.

Posted by: Tami at March 18, 2012 04:48 PM (X6akg)

226 The wife very wisely decided to move out. They say on post but she won't be able to hide forever. Another example of why you should post your secrets here and not on a blog. Causes at least one media intern to use google for five seconds. Good job, intern. Well, not a job per se but well done nonetheless, lackey.

Posted by: veekapoo at March 18, 2012 04:52 PM (sqVOl)

227 She probably has sharp elbows or something like that...

Posted by: Brock O'Bama at March 18, 2012 04:52 PM (/WZ6r)

228 If you want to be really scared, I had a flight engineer who couldn't answer how many pounds of fuel an hour we burned at 4000 pounds an hour. I can't go on..

Posted by: dan in michigan at March 18, 2012 05:00 PM (ygfeX)

229 which is heavier-

a pound of feathers or a pound of rocks?

Posted by: Jones in CO at March 18, 2012 05:01 PM (8sCoq)

230
The girl is trying to cope with the fact that the douche-bag isn't going to drive the speed he is suggesting in his clever little problem.

She could get even by secret videoing him jacking off because he is never having sex again.

Posted by: sTevo at March 18, 2012 05:01 PM (VMcEw)

231 Yeah, there's nothing like your boyfriend/husband making sure you look like an idiot. NOTHING! This marriage is forever!

Posted by: mare at March 18, 2012 05:12 PM (A98Xu)

232 definitely a product of the public school system...

Posted by: bethesdaguy at March 18, 2012 05:30 PM (ZBFnx)

233 Dude, sooner or later, you'll have to get out of the sack, if only to pee. Then you'll discover that you just married somebody dumber than Obama. And yes, you are a douche.

Posted by: Laura Castellano at March 18, 2012 05:37 PM (fuw6p)

234 BTW, WTF is "hot" about this woman? She looks like a Ferengi in blonde drag.

Posted by: CoolCzech at March 18, 2012 05:43 PM (niZvt)

235 Maybe she just had a tooth pulled. Remember that one?
They tell me there are other drugs that have the same effect.

Posted by: comatus at March 18, 2012 05:51 PM (ZOlM3)

236 119 I can see my own sweet wife doing this. She isnt such a ding-a-ling, she's more of a clang-a-lang, but posting this video goes way beyond the unwritten rules.

Say it with me, guys: "Don't mess with the person who prepares your food!"

Posted by: Laura Castellano at March 18, 2012 05:51 PM (fuw6p)

237 >>> Despite the likely fact that this gal can suck the chrome off a trailer hitch, the scariest part of the whole deal is that these people will undoubtedly reproduce. Judging by their location, prolifically.

>>> Posted by: Peaches at March 18, 2012 06:45 PM (w407e)

Well, it's an interesting demonstration of the male/female general intelligence gap.

Posted by: Random at March 18, 2012 06:18 PM (07bEE)

238 Yeah,well, if it wasn't for that affirmative action bullcrap, she would have been EIC of the Harvard Law Review instead of that guy from Hawaii. (Older than she looks.)

Posted by: epobirs at March 18, 2012 06:23 PM (kcfmt)

239 She got pretty damn close with 56 minutes. In Engineering, we call that "right".

Posted by: Haiku Guy at March 18, 2012 06:31 PM (Yy0If)

240 Okay... I'm gonna defend Chelsea just a little bit here. Yes, she missed the totally obvious, if you're going 80 miles an hour and go 80 miles how long does it take, answer of "an hour", but she did manage to get to nearly the right answer (58 minutes) though a series of estimates and approximations. It's at least possible that she'd be able to do the same with a problem that wasn't a joke with the answer in it.

We actually had a question a bit like this in my chem 123 class last week. The prof went over and over and over the fact that the energy lost is equal to the energy gained and then we had a "clicker question" that had a few values listed and then four possibilities, the energy lost was more than the energy gained, the energy lost was less than the energy gained, the energy lost was equal to the energy gained, and there is not enough information to know. Apparently the vast majority of the class got it wrong because we went over it at the beginning of the next class. I looked at the question, went "Shit! Math!" and then thought... "waitaminute"... and answered it correctly. People who did the math got it wrong, because the values didn't add up to "equals". Chelsea would have probably looked at the problem, started approximating the missing value lost to the surroundings, added some numbers to make her calculations work with even numbers, subtracted the difference, rounded up and answered "probably close to equal, so I'll answer C."

Posted by: Synova at March 18, 2012 06:37 PM (P0X9Q)

241 I'll bet she's mind numbing after a beer and a half...

Then again, she probably graduated from a large land grant university, possibly with an advanced degree...

Oh wait...same thing...

Posted by: Mudshark at March 18, 2012 06:44 PM (tqHA2)

242 Me!

Posted by: Matt Damon! at March 18, 2012 07:39 PM (KjYfU)

243 I'd be doing something other than math questions with this chick. She's hot and can run 7 minute miles. I don't know if this was a gag or not, but if it wasn't the husband was a douche for posting on youtube. I think it is bad manners to make your mate look like an idiot in front of the entire world (even if she is one).

Posted by: MC at March 18, 2012 08:04 PM (VlZvE)

244

I say he knew she was this stupid, look who she married!

Posted by: Gugenheinie kisser at March 18, 2012 08:12 PM (h4Qjn)

245

fake. i can prove it. at the beginning, when he first turns the camera to her, she is smiling. then the rest of the time, she never smiles. it's called acting, people. she's playing a part. i love it, b/c she's showing all of you how much smarter she is than you haters.

Posted by: Dogstar at March 18, 2012 09:44 PM (2MnmS)

246 found their fb pages. he studied advertising in college and he's a promoter. a PROMOTER. think he's stirring up some publicity? duh. almost everyone fell for it. the joke's on the haters.

Posted by: Dogstar at March 18, 2012 10:02 PM (2MnmS)

247 Wow. She is so stupid and hawt. It can only end in a shallow grave in a remote area. I am sure she'd miss me though...

Posted by: s☺mej☼e at March 19, 2012 01:07 AM (udEUT)

248 A PhD in education. No question about it.

Posted by: Call me Ishmael at March 19, 2012 02:06 AM (Uh+y6)

249 This ends in four years. He loses custody of the three lovely children and three quarters of his gross pay.

Posted by: Dee Dee Ramone at March 19, 2012 02:54 AM (UdPlZ)

250 Well, now we know how Obama was elected.

And why he'll be re-elected.
Posted by: Brown Line at March 18, 2012 07:36 PM (OlzV/)

yeah sure, you think they are going to be able to find the polls and or get there before they close?

Don't worry. I'll make sure she gets there.

Posted by: David Axelrod at March 19, 2012 03:06 AM (QXkL/)

251 That;s not her husband. He pronounces his "s's" too well, if you know what I mean.

Posted by: LtT26 at March 19, 2012 05:41 AM (Qsk03)

252 Can't we just fast forward through this part and get to the sex tape already?

Posted by: Voluble at March 19, 2012 06:27 AM (C9bRU)

253

I wonder if she uses contraception? That would make her a slutty-slut.

And 261, its always super funny and shit when you make jokes about killing young girls. You are the best dude. Now go die in a fire.

Must be a very slow day in the Obama-hating universe.

4 more years. Get used to it, bitches.

Posted by: squeaky at March 19, 2012 07:41 AM (X/UsC)

254

"Chelsea" may not be a rocket-scientist - ie., she may not be good at math/physics, etc. -- but she isn't bad at using "feminine wiles" to control her husband.

Come on, this is the oldest trick in the book.

What we are seeing here is an example of women disarming men by "playing dumb" - and men going along with it because it feels good.

Chelsea can charm her husband into thinking that he is very smart and worldly and that makes him feel more manly and strong and capable. If anyone got "fooled" here it is the husband -- but in his heart of hearts, he really knows that Chelsea is a lot smarter than she pretends.

Chelsea probably enjoys playing the "dumb blonde" and her husband loves her for being so "cute" -- so, who wins? Well both do. He loves her so much that in any decision making (where to go on vacation, how much money to spend, which movie to watch, etc.) he is so grateful to her that he lets her win on a lot of the decisions that the two make as a couple -- and it works, as long as she continues to pretend to the outside world that HE is the smart one, the one who is in control. He goes along with it because she is so attractive and cute.

And he knows that in a crisis situation, she wouldn't "play dumb" and be so helpless - she would rise to the occasion and be a great help to him.

Actually, I see nothing wrong with it at all -- as long as they both get what they want.

Flash forward though... 30years from now... Chelsea 50 pounds overweight, no longer running a 7 minute mile, not looking two great anymore...

So maybe it may not work quite the same way...although, it still could, if they really love each other....

Posted by: Juliet16 at March 19, 2012 07:43 AM (8YNSa)

255 Fake fake fake fake.

Posted by: Bang Out Of Order at March 19, 2012 08:34 AM (1H47k)

256 And this, ladies and gentlemen, is why I'm gay.

Posted by: Robert at March 19, 2012 09:00 AM (+bBSQ)

257 they are stoned.

Posted by: EP at March 19, 2012 09:39 AM (T0FzQ)

258 Hey, maybe he doesn't want smart kids - he'd hate for them to be smarter than him. Seeing as how he clearly enjoys being smarter than his wife... he finds her adorable, and it makes him feel so masculine.

Posted by: Auntie Doodles at March 19, 2012 10:46 AM (6uXZa)

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