May 21, 2012

Traveling Is Fun
— LauraW

I opted for the search instead of the big scanning machine at the airport yesterday and the TSA agent was really nice about it.

She made me wait a long, long, time, then f*cking clucked her tongue at me while she was talking about me- right in front of me- to her coworkers.

Then, when she finally decided to do her job, gave me a raft of sh*t that began with "Why don't you want to go through the machine?"

I thoroughly enjoyed her attitude and condescending talkdown, and especially the shitty looks of disdain. I also was pleased to have to hold my tongue because this unpleasant person has so much power over me that she can make me miss my flight if I piss her off, and she's obviously already halfway there.

Can hardly wait until this person is in charge of my healthcare.

So here's another Open Thread for your Monday pleasure.

Posted by: LauraW at 05:56 AM | Comments (267)
Post contains 161 words, total size 1 kb.

1 Am I the only one here?

Posted by: Beckster at May 21, 2012 05:58 AM (VjJAc)

2 I am here too but I have to go.

Posted by: real joe at May 21, 2012 05:58 AM (lgANn)

3 I thought the same thing.

Posted by: Infidel at May 21, 2012 05:58 AM (O/fK8)

4 I f*cking hate flying.

Last time we flew, I was singled out for "special treatment" by having the palms of my hands swabbed for explosives residue.  Next to me, an elderly lady was standing spread-eagled being felt up by a female thug.

Now our airport has the nude body scanners.  Yay.

Oh, and irony of ironies, we were on our way to the Int'l. Security Conference.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 21, 2012 06:01 AM (UOM48)

5 How DARE you make her stop gossiping and do a little work.  So inconsiderate.    /


Posted by: HeatherRadish™ at May 21, 2012 06:01 AM (/kI1Q)

6 I'm going to try to live my life without ever having to get on another airplane again.  Not that I don't like flying, I actually love being in the air, but the process is not worth it.  Someday, we'll live in a world where people don't behave like they just need to put up with it. 

Posted by: BurtTC at May 21, 2012 06:02 AM (TOk1P)

7 I am dreading my trip in August.  Most of the TSA seems like OWS's with uniforms.

Posted by: Infidel at May 21, 2012 06:02 AM (O/fK8)

8 What BurtTC said...

Posted by: Running Hobo at May 21, 2012 06:04 AM (l1oyw)

9 yeah, I hate flying anymore.
I remember when flying was fun.  Anybody else remember that?
sweet, sweet memories

Posted by: chemjeff at May 21, 2012 06:05 AM (VE1KN)

10 So why did you choose to skip the scanner?

Posted by: polynikes at May 21, 2012 06:05 AM (X2hQE)

11 7 I am dreading my trip in August. Most of the TSA seems like OWS's with uniforms.

Posted by: Infidel at May 21, 2012 10:02 AM (O/fK8




^^This^^  Most definitely. 

Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 21, 2012 06:05 AM (UOM48)

12 See, this is how you coerce people of modest means-the middle class-get them used to being herded like cattle. The poor don't fly, the rich fly private. Assholes every one of them.

Posted by: Model1066 at May 21, 2012 06:05 AM (YK5s7)

13 The last time I flew, the agent running the metal detector was a 300-lb bearded woman who offered to pat me down if I didn't feel like taking off my Brewers hoodie.  Unfortunately for her, I dress in layers in the winter and the rules say you can keep on your T-shirt when you go through.  *thpppbt*

(Then they searched my carry-on suitcase because the singing flamingo my mother gave me for Christmas looked suspicious, then they searched my purse because my bottle of Excedrin "looked like liquid."  Really?  REALLY!?)

Posted by: HeatherRadish™ at May 21, 2012 06:06 AM (/kI1Q)

14 "The old machine was radiation. You can go through this machine, this machine is not radiation." 1) Can anyone see the logical flaw in her statement? And 2) do you think she was any nicer to the people who refused to go through the other machine? GRRRR.

Posted by: lauraw at May 21, 2012 06:07 AM (tmAFW)

15 Assholes being the TSA

Posted by: Model1066 at May 21, 2012 06:07 AM (YK5s7)

16 "you don't professionalize unless you federalize" -Harry Reid, regarding the TSA

Posted by: weew at May 21, 2012 06:07 AM (Gldx2)

17 I, too, always opt for the pat down.  I always get the "why don't you just use the machine?  It's so much faster."  I tell them it's my way of mourning the death of the Fourth Amendment.

Posted by: Mr Orwell at May 21, 2012 06:08 AM (jYLHT)

18

Someone could really benefit from speaking out against the GateRapers and making noises  about shutting their asses down for good.  You know who that person is?

 

Mitt Romney. 

Posted by: Jaws at May 21, 2012 06:08 AM (4I3Uo)

19 Raleigh-Durham has the Pron-O-Scan machines and everyone has to go through it.  You don't get the option.  Sometimes, they will make you go through the scanner, and then to add to the insult, single you out for a "random" search on top of it.

I usually save up a fart and let it go when they put their hands down my pants.  I say, "sorry, but you must have jarred it loose or something".

Posted by: EC at May 21, 2012 06:09 AM (GQ8sn)

20

"you don't professionalize unless you federalize"

 

Thought that was 'lil Tommy Daschle.  Like there's actually a difference.

Posted by: Jaws at May 21, 2012 06:09 AM (4I3Uo)

21 I flew for the first time in 13 years last month.  Only because I could not drive in this instance.   Not as much fun as it used to be.  TSA lived up to my low expectations.  Got "selected" for hand swabbing.  (Boy, am i glad I was not at the range that morning or had cleaned my guns.  That might have been fun.)

What is funny is that my whole family warned me not to create a scene.  I didn't.  I was the perfect little serf.  But my daughter almost went ballistic when the idiot TSA goon "confiscated" her expensive water bottle because it was not completely empty.  And they were worried about me!  On the bright side, the government and the TSA have earned a new enemy in my daughter.

Giving total power to ignorant slugs.  What could go wrong?

Posted by: jjmurphy at May 21, 2012 06:10 AM (xjEAl)

22 I just wanted to get a scan of your hump, b*tch.

Posted by: Female TSA Agent at May 21, 2012 06:10 AM (DNTer)

23 Don't worry.  Pat down until full release is covered under Obamacare.  In fact, it's mandated.

Posted by: qzy at May 21, 2012 06:10 AM (6b8Wh)

24 All the more reason to learn to fly your own plane, I guess.  Either way, I have to make sure I make the 4 o'clock autogyro to Siam...

Posted by: SoupOrMan at May 21, 2012 06:11 AM (J991N)

25 We were allowed to accompany our son to his gate when he was leaving for deployment.

Really "amusing" to watch him removing his dog tags, shoes, watch, shoes, etc., along with the pilots.

As my husband always says, "If a pilot wants to take out a plane load of people, all he has to do is point the nose at the ground.  And he's got an ax in the cabin in case anyone 'disagrees.'"

Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 21, 2012 06:11 AM (UOM48)

26 I always try to pop a woody right before I go thru the scanner at the airport... just to see how many of the lesbian TSA workers I can set straight...

Posted by: CoolCzech at May 21, 2012 06:11 AM (q9vNM)

27 We are planning a family trip across country next summer for a family reunion for my folks' 40th wedding anniversary, and we have all but ruled out flying.  It's going to add an extra week to drive, but I just get pissed off at the thought of a possible sex offender having the legal authority to put his or her hands all over my kids. 

Posted by: not the mama at May 21, 2012 06:12 AM (96Kco)

28 Why isn't this stuff better known?  How far do Obama and his minions have to go before the people supporting Democrats say, "Wait a minute, this goes too far"?

Can liberals ever wake up from their sleep?

Posted by: BeckoningChasm at May 21, 2012 06:12 AM (i0App)

29

They should at least supply a smoking room for after the pat down feel up.

Posted by: RUReadingthis at May 21, 2012 06:12 AM (V92KK)

30 From here in Texas, when I needed to attend a conference in New Orleans I drove.  Last summer we vacationed Florida and I drove.  The last two times I went hiking at Grand Canyon, I drove.  A person would think the airlines would be interested in getting some of us lost customers back.

Posted by: Bob Saget at May 21, 2012 06:13 AM (SDkq3)

31 My sister and brother in law drive everywhere from their home in NM. Their last vacation was in Orlando--with their four kids. Notably, bil worked for the TSA when it was first created. He resigned after six months.

BTW, they just sold their house and are moving to Ft. Worth to help take care of his parents who are in their late eighties. So that gives me a foothold in Texas for when I'm ready to flee the leftist clusterf*ck that CA has become.

Posted by: baldilocks at May 21, 2012 06:13 AM (6kWFm)

32 Yep. All about conditioning and control. May I remind you people to never, and I mean never, go through those f'ing x-ray machines. That is straight up idiotic to expose people to that. It's all a sideshow anyhow. Chertoff and his gang making millions when dogs are way cheaper and more effective. We are being scammed people.

Posted by: Lord Humungus at May 21, 2012 06:13 AM (Yv6gq)

33 Barack Obama is a stuttering clusterf*ck of a miserable tyrant.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) Channelling Breitbart at May 21, 2012 06:14 AM (8y9MW)

34 We have the nude scanners in Savannah now.  Everyone has to go through them, plus you can still get the random pat-down and screening for explosive residue.

Yay flying.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 21, 2012 06:14 AM (UOM48)

35 Conservatives warned about all this when Bush stupidly took the recommendations of that farce of a 9/11 commission.

They have made flying a terrible experience for everyone but the terrorists.  Just to be "fair".  Killing an industry that was having problems surviving to begin with.

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at May 21, 2012 06:14 AM (X3lox)

36 looking at the people that work for tsa.....i really don't want to voluntarily have them touch me......yuck.....give me the gamma rays..........

Posted by: phoenixgirl at May 21, 2012 06:15 AM (Ho2rs)

37 Moron Bible Study
From Judges 9: The story of Abimelech:

8  The trees went forth [on a time] to anoint a king over them; and they said unto the olive tree, Reign thou over us. 
9  But the olive tree said unto them, Should I leave my fatness, wherewith by me they honour God and man, and go to be promoted over the trees? {go...: or, go up and down for other trees} 
10  And the trees said to the fig tree, Come thou, [and] reign over us. 
11  But the fig tree said unto them, Should I forsake my sweetness, and my good fruit, and go to be promoted over the trees? 
12  Then said the trees unto the vine, Come thou, [and] reign over us. 
13  And the vine said unto them, Should I leave my wine, which cheereth God and man, and go to be promoted over the trees? 
14  Then said all the trees unto the bramble, Come thou, [and] reign over us. {bramble: or, thistle} 
15  And the bramble said unto the trees, If in truth ye anoint me king over you, [then] come [and] put your trust in my shadow: and if not, let fire come out of the bramble, and devour the cedars of Lebanon.

This is the modern day allegory of America trading in the Great Cedars (Conservative R's) for lowly brambles (liberal D's), the chief bramble being the JEF. fire is issuing forth and destroying our great nation.


Posted by: chain mail at May 21, 2012 06:15 AM (611DD)

38 27 I always try to pop a woody right before I go thru the scanner at the airport... just to see how many of the lesbian TSA workers I can set straight... Posted by: CoolCzech at May 21, 2012 10:11 AM (q9vNM) To TSA Agent: It's not a laser! It's a... It's a little light bulb that blinks.

Posted by: Sheriff Woody Pride at May 21, 2012 06:15 AM (DNTer)

39 Posted by: CoolCzech at May 21, 2012 10:11 AM (q9vNM)

The erect penis is an instrument of oppression!

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo (NJConservative) at May 21, 2012 06:16 AM (nEUpB)

40 We saw a fat TSA turd sleeping with his head on his desk in Atlanta. 

Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 21, 2012 06:16 AM (UOM48)

41 jane he was dreaming of his pat downs.......

Posted by: phoenixgirl at May 21, 2012 06:16 AM (Ho2rs)

42 Have we already talked about A.L Sharpton on SNL and the "sal-mon canary" jobs?
They made a funny on Al. Laughed we much.

Posted by: Gonzalo at May 21, 2012 06:17 AM (kSaUf)

43 We saw a fat TSA turd sleeping with his head on his desk in Atlanta.

He was on his mandated 45 minute break for every half hour of work.

Posted by: EC at May 21, 2012 06:17 AM (GQ8sn)

44 My husband flies a lot. He always opts out of the scanner as he is a radiographer. He always asks if they know what the wave length is on the magnetic spectrum or if they have a brochure or any reading material on the scanners. They don't know what he's talking about. He just smiles and says 'OK'. I'd hate to be one of the TSA'tards standing around those machines all day. Ten years from now when their skin is falling off from sores and their body is eating them from the inside out my husband will look back and say "told ya so".

Posted by: S.Lynn at May 21, 2012 06:18 AM (uap0d)

45 42 jane

he was dreaming of his pat downs.......

Posted by: phoenixgirl at May 21, 2012 10:16 AM (Ho2rs)




Ewwwwwwwwwww

Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 21, 2012 06:19 AM (UOM48)

46 baldi- go ahead and make your plans to leave California now. I did in 2003, couldn't be happier. And DFW area is a blast, and you can get lost in the outdoors there in no time too. Jobs galore too. Go for it. You act Texan anyway.....

Posted by: Lord Humungus at May 21, 2012 06:19 AM (Yv6gq)

47 >>How far do Obama and his minions have to go before the people supporting Democrats say, "Wait a minute, this goes too far"?

Your third-generation-on-food-stamps crowd doesn't do a lot of flying.  We're back to "yeah, my life ain't much, but at least he's sticking it to the jerks who have more than me."

Posted by: HeatherRadish™ at May 21, 2012 06:19 AM (/kI1Q)

48 40 Posted by: CoolCzech at May 21, 2012 10:11 AM (q9vNM) The erect penis is an instrument of oppression! Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo (NJConservative) at May 21, 2012 10:16 AM (nEUpB) A women needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle!

Posted by: Mulva Liberation Front at May 21, 2012 06:19 AM (DNTer)

49 The secret to a fast patdown is flatulence.

Posted by: LaZrtx at May 21, 2012 06:20 AM (bK81x)

50 If the TSA was more professional would it change your opinion on the necessity to go through these checks?

Posted by: polynikes at May 21, 2012 06:21 AM (X2hQE)

51 When the government is in charge of your healthcare, every TSA pat down will also count as your gynecological, rectal, and breast exam! Those full body scanners are not only security devices but diagnostic machines too. Regular exposure to radiation will kill as many cancers as it creates and heck those machines can detect tumors too!

Posted by: Dr. Joe Biden teh sock at May 21, 2012 06:21 AM (KCvsd)

52 So I take my CPAP machine in my carry-on bag -- first mistake. The TSA guys are swabbing it down for some reason and taking their own sweet time. Then they come to me and say that the mask for the machine tested positive for nitroglycerine. Not kidding. So I got the full foreplay search. My nuts didn't come back out until halfway through the flight home. I hate the TSA with the heat of 10,000 suns.

Posted by: joncelli, heartless Con and all around unpleasant guy at May 21, 2012 06:22 AM (RD7QR)

53 The worst thing about being pulled aside for the patdown, is having all your shit, your purse, your wallet, your iPad, cellphone, laptop, Ray-Bans, etc., go through the conveyor in the plastic bins, where they end up in the big bin shuffle at the end.

Meanwhile, you, thirty feet away and not allowed to turn around to watch your shit, go into a panic over the pack of thieves you saw go through the metal detector frame.

I got a kick out of the loudspeaker announcement I heard after recently clearing security.

"Would the person who picked up the wrong wallet and iPad please report to security?"

Sure, I said.

Posted by: TheLittlShiningMan at May 21, 2012 06:22 AM (PH+2B)

54 I had a real nice TSA agent once when I insisted on privacy for the full-body patdown (which they no longer do), but why take the chance? Power corrupts.

Posted by: the new, improved arhooley -- now with 10% more cynicism! at May 21, 2012 06:22 AM (Y/SZH)

55 My 85 year old father flew to visit my brother yesterday. He wears his WW2 veteran hat and gets selected for a pat down. I was livid! I had gotten a gate pass to go to the gate with him and when I saw them pull him out, I nearly went crazy. They made me stand on the other side of the area with another TSA agent because I guess they thought I would grab my father and run. He was cooperative and did everything they asked but was embarrassed about being singled out. I pointed out to them that the women in the wrappings with only their eyes visible managed to sail right through. OF course I said it loudly and not nearly that nice. I guess I should be glad they didn't arrest me, but and 85 year old WW2 vet, REALLY?!

Posted by: megthered at May 21, 2012 06:23 AM (iR4Dg)

56

"How far do Obama and his minions have to go before the people supporting Democrats say, "Wait a minute, this goes too far"?"

 

Democrats are just fine and dandy with trading in their liberty for security.  Of course, they'll eventually have neither.

 

It's everyone else who needs to stand up, speak out, and act to end this lunacy.  A little leadership in that regard would be awfully nice, dontcha think?

Posted by: Jaws at May 21, 2012 06:24 AM (4I3Uo)

57 If the TSA was more professional would it change your opinion on the necessity to go through these checks?

You mean if they were to use them in a targeted manner after profiling the flier beforehand to filter out the ones who raise flags and not everyone?


Maybe.

Posted by: EC at May 21, 2012 06:24 AM (GQ8sn)

58 I read a lot of liberal blogs/forums and they hate the TSA too, thinking its conservatives who wants the TSA. Then I read conservative blogs/forums and they blame the liberals for wanting the TSA. Now if just about all sides want the TSA neutered, how come we can't get a single damn bill put forth and passed to do so? Who the hell is actually supporting the TSA?

Posted by: jthesaint at May 21, 2012 06:24 AM (ss952)

59 Gee a new open thread sneaked in.  I wasn't expecting it because we had only 240 on the news thread.

Posted by: Vic at May 21, 2012 06:25 AM (YdQQY)

60 Why did I choose the manual screening? You mean besides the free fingering you are about to give me?

Posted by: Jimmah at May 21, 2012 06:25 AM (UpwlP)

61 The TSA is high on my list of crap gov organizations that need to be shit canned and security turned back over to the original private companies that had it.


The idea that they made these union assholes is even more vile.

Posted by: Vic at May 21, 2012 06:26 AM (YdQQY)

62 Had the same issue Friday afternoon in Atlanta. I declined the machine and got a nice probing pat-down, after being made to wait standing for more than a few minutes (even though the queue was small going through the concourse T security screening area). This is clearly part of the theater, with everyone yelling that they've got a pat-down in chorus and presenting you on the stage before all the other passengers in order to single you out and terrify others to prevent them from doing the same.

Immediately prior to the actual pat-down, I was politely confronted by the TSA agent:  "You know, those machines are safe, don't you?" I replied "I fly frequently and choose to decline the machines."  The agent then chastised me for being one of those people who don't know they're perfectly safe and warned me not to trust "the Internet" and "those websites." The machines in use were apparently ones that "use sonar like a submarine" and not X-ray based. I asked the agent "So there are no X-ray based machines here?" Oh, sure there were, but THAT machine wasn't one of them. I explained that since it was my understanding that I don't have a choice of machine, it was my preference to opt-out.

So I got the pat-down (nice intensive version) and a lecture the whole time about how sonar isn't X-Ray and people lie on the Internets and scare people about the government irradiating people. I really wanted to tell the fellow that I felt it was my patriotic duty to refuse to comply with their Security Theater and reject their Simulacra Scanner, X-Rays or not, and furthermore wished all Americans opted out as well in order to force them to account for their farce, but realized he seemed intent in trying to get a reaction so I could be escalated to the next level of harassment.

They're certainly annoyed with us for not being willing sheep.

Posted by: Multitude at May 21, 2012 06:26 AM (bpONz)

63 Not to toot my own horn (well, okay, a little) but I'm trying, in my own little way, to educate people about the ever-growing police state.

The problem is that people see the "need" for the porno-scanners.  So they just accept them under the idea that "the innocent have nothing to hide."  Added to that, they're not at all inconvenient.  Well, a little, but not enough to really annoy most people.

So what we need to do is focus on getting them to realize the ways in which the Government is infringing on their liberties in ways that are inconvenient.  Things like the City of Arlington (yay home town!) deciding that you're now not allowed to tether your dog in your own yard.  Or things like all the local hurdles you have to go through to start a business as simple as a food truck.

Maybe if we can get them to see that the Government doesn't have the right to control that, then we can get them to see that the Government doesn't get to assume your guilt at the Airport.

Though, I'm about half tempted to make a shirt that says, "Getting on an Airplane is not Probable Cause."

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) Channelling Breitbart at May 21, 2012 06:27 AM (8y9MW)

64 Who the hell is actually supporting the TSA? Posted by: jthesaint at May 21, 2012 10:24 AM (ss952) "Look for the Union Labor"! The Nation: TSA unionization 'important victory' for labor movement By Keith Laing - 06/24/11 03:46 PM ET The liberal magazine The Nation hailed the election that resulted in the American Federation of Government Employees (AFGE) becoming the union for the Transportation Security Administration. AFGE won a runoff election this week with the National Treasury Employees Union (NTEU) for the right to represent TSA workers. The magazine said Friday that the win was significant. "These are tough times for labor unions," the paper said in an op-ed titled "TSA Gets Some Security of Its Own." "They are under attack in the private sector and at all levels of government. But workers are waking up to the reason for the attacks: Unions are essential sources of protection for essential workers.

Posted by: nevergiveup at May 21, 2012 06:27 AM (05RcU)

65 Now if just about all sides want the TSA neutered, how come we can't get a single damn bill put forth and passed to do so? Who the hell is actually supporting the TSA?

Posted by: jthesaint at May 21, 2012 10:24 AM (ss952)



The libs love the TSA.  They are the ones who supported the 9/11 commission.  The GOP are scared of the libs.  That's why we have the TSA.  Libs are also the ones who insist that everyone be sexually assaulted so the poor muzzies who are attacking us don't feel like people know they are attacking us.

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at May 21, 2012 06:28 AM (X3lox)

66 I work at ORD in CPD dispatch.
Every time, and I mean every time, I have to go through security (not often, I work on the unsecured side) I end up in a fight with The Stupid Authority.

If it makes you feel any better, I don't know anyone who likes them.

I work with one FBI agent who I swear to God every time I mention Thousands Standing Around, I can see cartoon smoke coming out of his ears. He just loses his shit.
I was telling him about my most recent run-in not long ago and he said, "YOU SHOULD HAVE CALLED THE POLICE. HELL, YOU SHOULD HAVE CALLED THE FBI. JESUS I HATE THOSE BASTARDS."

Posted by: Cathy at May 21, 2012 06:28 AM (oiTOF)

67 My NY libtard b-i-l got into an argument with me over the TSA.  He actually said it's our "duty" as citizens to go through the pat-downs, etc. because they're "keeping us safe."

He and the s-i-l are traveling in Thailand and Cambodia for several weeks.  I hope and pray with every fiber of my being he gets singled out for extra-special "attention."

Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 21, 2012 06:28 AM (UOM48)

68 my biggest complaint is the somewhat arbitrarily-enforced guidelines at all the different airports.  you could be going to your destination and have them take a relatively relaxed approach to the security measures, like not demanding that all of your toiletries be enclosed in a large, clear plastic bag so they can be scanned separately from your other carry-on items, and on the way back, they might swab your luggage send you for a special pat down, demand that you remove your rubberized triathalon watch and flipflops all while giving you a hard time as if you're trying to get away with something.

oh, and they've already proven that you can sneak weapons through those nude scanning machines if they're strapped tightly enough against your torso.

Posted by: matt foley at May 21, 2012 06:29 AM (X69df)

69 #58, because the PC and "racism" accusing douches can't acknowledge that the "evil sin worse than rape and murder combined" of profiling is effective.

Posted by: Blue Falcon in Boston at May 21, 2012 06:29 AM (KCvsd)

70 http://tinyurl.com/87hvknc

From 1001 reasons don't to vote for the JEF.

SUNY Buffalo received $390,000 to study young adults who drink malt liquor and smoke marijuana.

They coulda just asked for my bio.

Posted by: chain mail at May 21, 2012 06:30 AM (611DD)

71 70. They don't travel much, do they? Or read the Constitution much?

Posted by: Cathy at May 21, 2012 06:30 AM (oiTOF)

72 I have to check yo' asshole.

Posted by: TSA She-Goon at May 21, 2012 06:30 AM (8hBZi)

73 Posted by: Multitude at May 21, 2012 10:26 AM (bpONz)


Did they actually use the term "sonar"?  If so they are full of shit or just pure out lying.  Those new machines use back scatter x-ray which works off of compton's scattering. It is very low level, but it is x-ray and your skin does get a slight dose.

Posted by: Vic at May 21, 2012 06:31 AM (YdQQY)

74 If I choose to fly and want neither the x-ray nor the fondle, what am I in for?

Posted by: Underground Vulgarian at May 21, 2012 06:31 AM (oipCQ)

75 BTW, they just sold their house and are moving to Ft. Worth to help take care of his parents who are in their late eighties. So that gives me a foothold in Texas for when I'm ready to flee the leftist clusterf*ck that CA has become. Posted by: baldilocks at May 21, 2012 10:13 AM (6kWFm) Hey Baldilocks! First, prayers for your sister and bil, for their move and for caring for his parents-a tough job, but what a way to honor his parents!! Second, Yeah Fort Worth!! If they have young kids, there is so much to do. The zoo is wonderful, and has a great summer camp that is not too expensive, plus the museums, and concerts in the park with the Fort Worth Symphony. You will have a great place to go to, in the event of chaos, plus some really excellent Mexican food. The Original, on Camp Bowie is a family favorite, as is Mexico Real, on McCart. Cousin's is the barbecue of choice, which I think is better than Angelo's, which is always touted as Ft. Worth's best. I grew up there, and really, really miss it. Sadly, the kids don't want to go back, or we would retire there. As for flying, I remember Pan Am and TWA. I remember when it was elegant to fly, and we dressed up, even for long hauls. I remember getting bumped to business and first class, just because. And the best flight ever was on Qantas, with hot stewards who gave me bottles of wine and sat and flirted the entire trip to Australia. Pre husband, of course.

Posted by: moki at May 21, 2012 06:32 AM (dZmFh)

76 How many plots have TSA intercepted at the scanners?

Posted by: nickless at May 21, 2012 06:32 AM (MMC8r)

77 I'm detecting some dissension here; y'all aren't going to make very good proles if you keep this attitude up.
 
TSA is already expanding to trains and buses and subways. You will learn to like being searched, get over it you haters.

Posted by: GnuBreed at May 21, 2012 06:32 AM (ccXZP)

78 77. A Greyhound ticket.

Posted by: Cathy at May 21, 2012 06:32 AM (oiTOF)

79 @20 Yeah maybe it was Daschole who said that. I always thought the two were interchangeable, kinda like Bill Pullman and Bill Paxton.

Posted by: weew at May 21, 2012 06:32 AM (Gldx2)

80 If I choose to fly and want neither the x-ray nor the fondle, what am I in for?


A trip back to your home.

Posted by: EC at May 21, 2012 06:32 AM (GQ8sn)

81 A Greyhound ticket. Posted by: Cathy at May 21, 2012 10:32 AM (oiTOF) Didn't some hapless poor soul get his head cut off by some lunatic on Greyhound Bus a few years back?

Posted by: nevergiveup at May 21, 2012 06:33 AM (05RcU)

82 @53: heh! You beat me to it! TSA Scanner cum Mammogram machines.

Posted by: CoolCzech at May 21, 2012 06:33 AM (KA+OE)

83 Laura did you have to duck to get the hump to go through?

Posted by: Dr. Jellyknuckles at May 21, 2012 06:33 AM (Kb7dA)

84

; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; line-height: normal;" class="MsoNormal">I remember when flying was fun. Anybody else remember that?
sweet, sweet memories

Posted by: chemjeff at May 21, 2012 10:05 AM (VE1KN)

 

People donÂ’t know how great it was.  I used to do a lot of international travel on the corporate dime (first class) and it was just about better than sex.  No security checks, lighting up a cigarette after takeoff, stewardesses that made you stiff just looking at themÂ…  god, it was how flying was meant to be.

Posted by: jwest at May 21, 2012 06:34 AM (ZDsRL)

85 As for flying, I remember Pan Am and TWA. I remember when it was elegant to fly, and we dressed up, even for long hauls. I remember getting bumped to business and first class, just because. And the best flight ever was on Qantas, with hot stewards who gave me bottles of wine and sat and flirted the entire trip to Australia. Pre husband, of course.

Posted by: moki at May 21, 2012 10:32 AM (dZmFh




Same here.  I remember bringing back olive oil and wine from Italy, and the flight attendant in first class giving us wine that was left over from the flight.



Oh, how I miss those frequent flier miles and when flying was actually fun.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 21, 2012 06:34 AM (UOM48)

86 If I choose to fly and want neither the x-ray nor the fondle, what am I in for?

Until we rescue the 4th Amendment from whatever purgatory to which it has been assigned?  Not flying.  Or flying private charter.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) Channelling Breitbart at May 21, 2012 06:34 AM (8y9MW)

87 85. Yes. God, that turned my stomach. Just awful.
On 9/11 my sister got stuck in PHL and ended up on a Greyhound back to ATL. She sat beside a very smelly man with, I shit you not, hooks for hands.
I told her, in his defense, how the hell would he bathe with those things?

Posted by: Cathy at May 21, 2012 06:34 AM (oiTOF)

88 I told her, in his defense, how the hell would he bathe with those things?


ARRRRRR...a pirate doesn't need to bathe!

Posted by: EC at May 21, 2012 06:36 AM (GQ8sn)

89 I'm not in support of the TSA because they are incompetent jackholes but I do believe that it is necessary to increase the security checks that may result in inconveniences not prevently present. It's the unfortunate world we live in now where airlines seem to be the terrorists go to plan for attack. The security procedures can be improved exponentially from the way they are now but airline travel will now never not be inconvenient.

Posted by: polynikes at May 21, 2012 06:36 AM (X2hQE)

90 If I choose to fly and want neither the x-ray nor the fondle, what am I in for?


A trip back to your home.

Posted by: EC at May 21, 2012 10:32 AM (GQ8sn)



Actually, a trip to jail.  Once you get in line for the TSA it is ILLEGAL to get out of line.  You have to go through one of the checks.

Yep.  ILLEGAL to get out of line and go home.

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at May 21, 2012 06:36 AM (X3lox)

91

Anybody been through Heathrow lately?  I will fly out of my way to avoid it.

 

Posted by: Mr. Dave at May 21, 2012 06:37 AM (OBDWE)

92 t I do believe that it is necessary to increase the security checks that may result in inconveniences not prevently present. It's the unfortunate world we live in now where airlines seem to be the terrorists go to plan for attack. The security procedures can be improved exponentially from the way they are now but airline travel will now never not be inconvenient. Posted by: polynikes at May 21, 2012 10:36 AM (X2hQE) PROFILE

Posted by: nevergiveup at May 21, 2012 06:37 AM (05RcU)

93 #77 -- Then you ain't flyin'. You'll get to sit in a small security room while they ridicule you, verbally abuse you and generally act like the ride assholes they are.

Posted by: clp at May 21, 2012 06:38 AM (HOvXU)

94 I haven't flown since 2002, and have managed to get away with driving on every trip that I need to go on.

Until now, that is. I'm going to be flying next month, but have chosen a week-end red-eye for the round-trip. I'm hoping that the airports will be mostly deserted and the episode of personal indignity and outrage will be short and easily repressed.

The Husband is rather blase about it all, as he's had need to fly for work, but this will be the first time that I have ever done the screening thing.

Not looking forward to it, but it must be endured.

Posted by: Feynmangroupie at May 21, 2012 06:38 AM (oI744)

95 The TSA is the reason I don't fly anymore. There is a woman in Florida who might be worth it, however. I freaking HATE the TSA. Worthless, stupid, incompetant, arrogant, stupid, fucking drones.

Posted by: maddogg at May 21, 2012 06:38 AM (OlN4e)

96 Anybody been through Heathrow lately? I will fly out of my way to avoid it.

I did back in January. 

Long fucking lines coming in through customs.  Leaving was easier.  I got a pat-down, but no Pron Scanner just a regular metal detector.

Posted by: EC at May 21, 2012 06:38 AM (GQ8sn)

97 I don't think flying was EVER fun, but it was never the POS crap like it is now.


I refuse to fly anymore.  My last airplane trip was to Pittsburgh and I could have driven there faster than the trip on the airplane took. And this was BEFORE 9-11.

Posted by: Vic at May 21, 2012 06:39 AM (YdQQY)

98

One of the things I think that contributes to the sense people have of being at the mercy of these people is that you generally don't have the right to refund your ticket if you decide you don't like the way you're being treated. 

 

We have all the incentive in the world to be good little sheep, they have none to make the process more pleasant for us.  That's a bad combination. 

Posted by: BurtTC at May 21, 2012 06:39 AM (TOk1P)

99 I wonder what the TSA's reaction will be when, inevitably, Achmed decides he's going to simply detonate his carry-on bag in the 45 minute long snaking security line rather than try to get it through the porn-o-scans and on a plane?

Posted by: Jaws at May 21, 2012 06:40 AM (4I3Uo)

100 The last fight I had, I said to the she-beast's supervisor (in front of her, the other people around me, and God), "See, pal, THIS RIGHT HERE is why the IRS is no longer the country's most hated federal agency."

Posted by: Cathy at May 21, 2012 06:40 AM (oiTOF)

101 I told her, in his defense, how the hell would he bathe with those things?

 

Posted by: Cathy at May 21, 2012 10:34 AM (oiTOF)

 

Bathing?  That's   the  least of his  hygiene problems.

Posted by: Count de Monet at May 21, 2012 06:40 AM (4q5tP)

102 I have to fly to NM June 9.  Dreading it.  Thank God it's only one way.

Posted by: jewells45 at May 21, 2012 06:41 AM (l/N7H)

103 I wonder what the TSA's reaction will be when, inevitably, Achmed decides he's going to simply detonate his carry-on bag in the 45 minute long snaking security line rather than try to get it through the porn-o-scans and on a plane? Posted by: Jaws at May 21, 2012 10:40 AM (4I3Uo) Hum? Good idea, Thank you

Posted by: Achmed at May 21, 2012 06:41 AM (05RcU)

104 Who wants to see a nice photo of Michelle Obama? NSFW? http://tinyurl.com/cfyw9b6

Posted by: Joffen, fucking sunshine patriot at May 21, 2012 06:41 AM (+ZI77)

105 but I do believe that it is necessary to increase the security checks that may result in inconveniences not prevently present

Say it with me, PN: "Wanting to fly does not constitute Probable Cause."  If you want to search me (even with a nudie-scope) then you should have to show probable cause.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) Channelling Breitbart at May 21, 2012 06:42 AM (8y9MW)

106 Until now, that is. I'm going to be flying next month, but have chosen a week-end red-eye for the round-trip. I'm hoping that the airports will be mostly deserted and the episode of personal indignity and outrage will be short and easily repressed.



Sorry to disappoint you, but we took at red eye flight a year ago (5:30 a.m.) and in our nearly deserted airport the TSA were complete assholes.


My husband had to run back to the car to get his laptop which he had forgotten and told me to go on through security, and I did.  I sat on a bench waiting for him and when he arrived, we realized I had his ticket.  The f*cking TSA goon wouldn't give him the ticket (we were literally about 20 ft. apart) and told he if I handed him the ticket I'd have to be screened again.  I kid you not.


Finally, a supervisor, who seemed embarrassed by the stupidity, came over to me, took the ticket, and walked it over to my husband.  We were the only two travelers in the area.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 21, 2012 06:42 AM (UOM48)

107 108. The comments killed me.

Posted by: Cathy at May 21, 2012 06:43 AM (oiTOF)

108 I have to fly to NM June 9. Dreading it. Thank God it's only one way.


Awesome!  One-way fliers are given extra screening, if you understand why.  Bring your own Astroglide.

Posted by: EC at May 21, 2012 06:43 AM (GQ8sn)

109

Dumbest thing I ever saw at an airport, since I only go there to drop people off or pick them up, was trying to buy a beer in the food area while I was waiting for a flight. 

The  lone cashier couldn't ring it up because  SHE wasn't 21.

Posted by: Jimmah at May 21, 2012 06:43 AM (UpwlP)

110 Bathing? That's the least of his hygiene problems.



Taking out my contact lenses is a major hassle.

Posted by: hooks4hands at May 21, 2012 06:43 AM (/izg2)

111
The TSA -- brought to you by a virtually unanimous Congress and a Republican president.

I know the folks in DC have been busy the last decade, but do you suppose the Repubs could get around to disestablishing this universally despised bunch sometime, or at least give us a pity vote so we know you still care.

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at May 21, 2012 06:44 AM (kdS6q)

112 I love to fly at your expense!  We take Air Force One up for even the smallest shopping trips and shortest vacations!  Suck It Serfs!  HAHA! 

Posted by: Malia in DC at May 21, 2012 06:44 AM (c3mby)

113 so

Posted by: nevergiveup at May 21, 2012 06:46 AM (05RcU)

114 Vic #76: Yes, he clearly said "sonar, just like a submarine." North Security Checkpoint at Atlanta Hartsfield-Jackson Friday afternoon.

It sounds like a few of us have been encountering this "there are no X-Rays... no radiation" line. I'd suspect there must have been a bulletin put out to tell the TSA Agents to confront us on this claim. It also seemed like he was very interested in understanding my motivation for opting out, which probably was legitimate (e.g. if I was a principled 'resister' or a bad guy trying to sneak past).

If there are any TSA or Progressive theater-empowering hacks reading this forum, the whole "don't believe them Interwebs" stuff is terribly lame and not convincing. Telling frequent traveling professionals that the Internet is nothing but lies does not earn any credibility for your agents and in fact, was one of the more alarming aspects of the theater performance. Your people come off as conspiracy freaks in government... tin foil "them webs are chalk full of LIES I tell ya!" derangement, combined with bizarro-land "That's why you should TRUST the GOVERNMENT! Because the Interwebs lie!"

This all comes off as creepy TSA cult beliefs and behavior.

Posted by: Multitude at May 21, 2012 06:47 AM (bpONz)

115

@106  "Hum? Good idea, Thank you"

 

Achmed, don't thank me.  Thank Brad Thor.  Hopefully his main character,  Scot Harvath, will put a round into your brainbox before you push the button.

Posted by: Jaws at May 21, 2012 06:47 AM (4I3Uo)

116 The only security that planes needed against 9/11 type attacks were locked cockpits and some air marshals or packing pilots.  That was it.  Security against bombs should have been left to the airports and/or airlines.  But the idiot libs pushed the 9/11 commission recommendations as if anything that happened would be due to not listening to that panel of retards and criminals and the cowardly GOP gave in like a bunch of heavily armed Frenchmen being confronted by a half-dead snail.

And now no one likes to fly.  The economic cost of tying people back to the ground, because flying has become such an unpleasant experience is rather huge.  Lucky for the feral government that much of that is being offset by people being able to work remotely (until they decide to tie up the internet in the same way - that's coming, too) but it is hard to underestimate the impact of people not looking forward to flying around the nation and spending money all over the place.

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at May 21, 2012 06:48 AM (X3lox)

117

The nice thing is, for $10 the TSA agent will make sure you get off during the patdown, IYKWIM.

 

For a $20, you can even get a female TSA agent.

Posted by: CoolCzech at May 21, 2012 06:49 AM (q9vNM)

118 Hey, anyone checking out Facebook? It's at 33 last I checked.

Posted by: Max Power at May 21, 2012 06:49 AM (+wxCD)

119 Look at the bright side, Laura.  The cow's standing there soaking up rads from that thing ALL day EVERY day.  She's  gonna get the C and die way before you're at risk.

Posted by: Richard McEnroe at May 21, 2012 06:49 AM (qvify)

120 The TSA is, as usual, the worst possible solution.  Frankly, if I was down with the a-l-Q and wanting to cause some serious havoc, I'd send my buddys in with bomb vests, to go off in line, at the TSA bottleneck.

Not that anyone in that line of work is smart enough to see that coming.

And that's why I don't fly anymore.  It ain't worth it.  Idiots.

Posted by: Brother Cavil, New Caprica City DMV at May 21, 2012 06:50 AM (GBXon)

121 And if you go through the big XRAY and raise your hands above your head they way you are instructed and give them both middle fingers you also get pulled aside for a further pat down. So there's just no winning with that crew.

Posted by: scofflawx at May 21, 2012 06:50 AM (E0qGA)

122 But were there any birdsounds at the airport?

You didn't mention that.

Posted by: Car in at May 21, 2012 06:50 AM (M+jLM)

123

Also, if you're in the TSA security line with no bags at all and no ticket (dropping off or picking up a minor child at the gate, fer instance) you just might be a suspicious person to the TSA.

 

TSA Line Observer, gettin' squinty-eyed like Clint Eastwood:  Where you traveling to today?  (Asking exactly none of the 100 people ahead of me  nor the 100 people behind me any questions)

 

Me:  Oh, I'm not flying.  I'm with my son here to accompany him to his departure gate.

 

TSA Line Observer:  Gate Pass and ID please. (unsmiling)  checks "the papers" and says, "These aren't the droids we're looking for.  Go on about your business.  Have a nice day."  in the same flat affect.   

 

OK, I may have exaggerated that last part.  A bit.

Posted by: Count de Monet at May 21, 2012 06:51 AM (4q5tP)

124 (46) "I'd hate to be one of the TSA'tards standing around those machines all day. Ten years from now when their skin is falling off from sores and their body is eating them from the inside out..."

That'll always be the dream.

Posted by: Corona at May 21, 2012 06:51 AM (fh2Y7)

125 I am the Radiation Safety Officer at work so I have had to study up on radiation safety over the years. I would find it very interesting to survey people that use the body scanners. Here are a couple questions I'd like to ask.

Do you think food irradiation is safe?

Do you fear the amount of radiation that was calculated to be released if Yucca mountain had been allowed to go into service?

Do you think the amount of radiation given off by granite counter tops is safe?

Posted by: Buzzsaw at May 21, 2012 06:51 AM (tf9Ne)

126 How many plots have TSA intercepted at the scanners?

Hush, you.

Posted by: Waterhouse at May 21, 2012 06:51 AM (HGydg)

127 Abuse of authority should be a capital crime. It's the only way to keep fascism in check.

Posted by: Korla Pundit at May 21, 2012 06:52 AM (l+MMl)

128 Oh, and the best one? I flew to Orlando from Philadelphia in summer of 2003. I had a set of precision screwdrivers in my carry-on bag and forgot to take them out before leaving for the airport. TSA guy in Philly finds the screwdrivers, shows them to his supervisor: No problem says the supervisor, and I fly to Orlando.

Then, going through the security line in Orlando on the way back to Philly, the TSA guy there finds the screwdrivers and shows them to his supervisor. Oh hell no says the supervisor, so I have to leave the line and check my carry-on bag as luggage. That's when I knew that I would hate flying forever more.

Posted by: joncelli, heartless Con and all around unpleasant guy at May 21, 2012 06:53 AM (RD7QR)

129

Well, anywho... my niece graduated yesterday from a locally prestigious private Catholic high school here in Omaha, so I'll get one more chance for a Happy Ending TSA Patdown this coming Saturday.

When her sister graduated they had one girl go to Harvard, another to Stanford, and the sister went to Vanderbilt - a pretty succesful  class that year.  This year's class didn't do nearly as well - in fact, my niece probably did the best out of the lot, going to NYU.  I just hope they don't change her into a raging lesbian... 

 

Posted by: CoolCzech at May 21, 2012 06:53 AM (q9vNM)

130

115

Rand Paul has introduced legislation to reopen the screening capability to private contractors, I believe there is a similar bill in the House. (John Pistole put the kibosh on the private contractor screeners shortly after that first Thanksgiving when TSA received all negative publicity. Any airport that had a private screener application pending was denied.)

 

From all reports, the private contracting firms are more professional.

Posted by: kallisto at May 21, 2012 06:53 AM (jm/9g)

131 If BUSH had told the truth before 911, none of this would be happening now. Once again BUSH's lies are hurting the country. Since I have been President Zero, Nada, None, No terrorists attacks on US soil !!!!!!

Posted by: Bariferd Obama at May 21, 2012 06:54 AM (48wze)

132 Gah, miserable, Laura!  Were you able to get the TSA She-Beast's name at least?  It probably wouldn't do any good to report her, but you could potentially use it in a voodoo ritual to bring bad luck crashing down on her from on high.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit and ABO supporter [/i][/b] at May 21, 2012 06:54 AM (4df7R)

133 I know the folks in DC have been busy the last decade, but do you suppose the Repubs could get around to disestablishing this universally despised bunch sometime, or at least give us a pity vote so we know you still care.

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at May 21, 2012 10:44 AM (kdS6q)



Then the libs can be antidisestablishmentarians!  That alone would be worth it.

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at May 21, 2012 06:54 AM (X3lox)

134 Lazy pig.

Posted by: Y-not on the phone in drs office at May 21, 2012 06:55 AM (Qmz8E)

135 #18, sorry, we'll get no help from Mittens, he hasn't flown business class in years.

Posted by: OregonMuse at May 21, 2012 06:56 AM (fPBIw)

136 Has anyone ever challenged the TSA in court on 4th amendment grounds? Unlike a police stop and frisk it's not like the TSA can argue that there was probable cause without admitting to that horror of horrors of "profiling". In which case the entire idiocy of random searches to not make the PC idiots and Muslims feel bad gets thrown out as redundant.

Posted by: Blue Falcon in Boston at May 21, 2012 06:56 AM (KCvsd)

137

Flying, like driving, is not a right but a privilege. If you want to fly, suck it up. I do.

What's the 4th amendment, anyway?

Posted by: Smug Libtard at May 21, 2012 06:57 AM (YmPwQ)

138 You know who've been sulky AND inefficient? The desk staff who schedule medical tests. Drs office ppl are fine, but the blood work, radiog, endoscopy etc have been awful. So thats with less govt involvement. I shudder to think what the future holds.

Posted by: Y-not on the phone in drs office at May 21, 2012 06:58 AM (Qmz8E)

139 I hear a lot of bitching here about the TSA.

I haven't flown in years.  Join the boycott.

Soon after 9/11, I was on a business trip.  One of my colleagues is from Bosnia.  Tall, foreigner.  They would pull him aside for a pat-down.  He didn't mind.  He was OK with it.

He was from a place with a full Leviathan government.  He clearly did not understand what it means to be free.

Posted by: Jimbo at May 21, 2012 06:58 AM (O3R/2)

140 Unfortunately my job requires me to fly.  Nothing makes me love my government more than watching two TSA agents at the baggage scanner looking like two monkeys fucking a football.  This was at LAX and holding up the line for a good 35 minutes.

I'm taking a vacation soon and its worth the 9 hour drive and gas expense to go rather than deal with the hassle and fly.  I'm also planning on taking a trip from New Orleans to Chicago later this year and I'm going by train.  It costs a little more than airfare and the schedule isn't optimal but its well worth it than dealing with the idiot brigade when traveling for pleasure.

Only twice have I ever met a TSA agent that was very considerate.  Once in Denver when waiting to clear me from the porn scanner, complimented me on my tie and even said have a nice day.  The second was in Tulsa when I left change in my pocket but had to "clear my leg".  Even though he had to do a patdown, he was very considerate and respectful of my privacy.  Other than those two, the rest are assholes.

Posted by: Pechon at May 21, 2012 06:58 AM (e14FT)

141 This abuse of our freedoms can only be stopped by collective action. Have every flight empty for three days and the TSA will be gone the next.

Posted by: eman at May 21, 2012 06:59 AM (XrDou)

142 @polynikes

i actually think we can ramp down the security now that they reinforced the cockpit doors on the planes, armed the pilots, put marshals on planes, and set the policy to never surrender the plane.  the real terrorist danger from a plane is the 9-11-style missile-out-of-an-airliner threat, not the lives of 200 people, which as someone suggested could be easily threatened by a guy walking a chest-strapped bomb into the security queue.  everyone needs to realize there are trade-offs in the world, and we currently have an extremely inefficient and costly process that doesn't address the most serious threat as the other security measures already mentioned do, to say nothing of creating another enormous public union.

Posted by: matt foley at May 21, 2012 06:59 AM (X69df)

143 "Can hardly wait until this person is in charge of my healthcare."

I think she's gonna have to arm wrestle Shaniqua down at the DMV for that position.

Posted by: Clutch Cargo at May 21, 2012 07:00 AM (Qxdfp)

144 132 Oh, and the best one? I flew to Orlando from Philadelphia in summer of 2003 I flew PHL to ORD in March. The crew in Philly was great, they were real nice to my kid and got us through with no hassle. Orlando was a horror show.

Posted by: The Robot Devil at May 21, 2012 07:01 AM (DNTer)

145 According to the NY Times, all you uncultured yokels need to stop give standing ovations at Broadway shows. 

http://tinyurl.com/ctb3mpg

Posted by: LIGuy at May 21, 2012 07:02 AM (+usC4)

146 Please don't get me started.  TSA needs to DIAF, literally.

I'll skip most of my story and say after the scan, I got the interview and patdown.  TSA goon asked if I'd like it in private.  I responded, "No, I want your fascism done here in plain view.  Also, don't touch my junk."  He wasn't sympathetic but at least he didn't touch my junk.

I don't fly anymore and I've started to price out private flights (which I can't afford).

Posted by: Tonic Dog at May 21, 2012 07:02 AM (X/+QT)

147 Laura Ingraham has been talking about people who are advocating having little children (e.g., age 4, 5) and pumping them with "gender-reassigning" hormones and the parents who allow them to because little Jack at the moment says he wants to be Jackie and Jane, age 6, insists she's John. These people (perhaps not the ignorant, stupid parents, but definitely the so-called psychologists, doctors or whatever they're calling themselves) are just EVIL. Plain, pure EVIL. Messing up little kids for the rest of their lives. And Laura also brought up the point of the side-effects these treatments would have on these poor babies. What is it with libs and not realizing they, and not their kids, should be in charge? You have Jimmy Carter asking a *child* about nuclear issues, and then Obama invoking his kids when flip-flopping on gay marriage. Now you have spineless people losing it because their 4-yo is being difficult. Next time their child insists on playing with fire because they really love hot shiny things, why not just let the child go ahead and play with fire,? Because that's what the child wants to do and the parent doesn't know better than the child, right? My goodness.

Posted by: chique d'afrique (the artist formerly known as african chick) at May 21, 2012 07:02 AM (21lBC)

148

What say everybody dresses up like Moo-hommid when flying?  Protest every. Fucking. Inch. Of TSA BULLSHIT. On religious grounds, of course....if that worthless cunt fauxahontas can get ahead faking an identity, we should follow along and let them hang themselves.

 

What about that?

Posted by: model_1066 at May 21, 2012 07:04 AM (YbQJm)

149

I'm also planning on taking a trip from New Orleans to Chicago later this year and I'm going by train.

Posted by: Pechon at May 21, 2012 10:58 AM (e14FT)

 

You might want to rethink that plan.  The people who are too stupid and rude to get jobs at the TSA are hired by Amtrak.

Posted by: jwest at May 21, 2012 07:04 AM (ZDsRL)

150 You shoulda Tweeted about it.

Posted by: soothsayer at May 21, 2012 07:05 AM (j7IJ7)

151 What do you do when your 2 year old girl insists that she is a boy?

I know what I say: "When you are old enough and wealthy enough to do something about it, you go right ahead.  Until then, you sit on the toilet!"

Posted by: Jimbo at May 21, 2012 07:06 AM (O3R/2)

152

HEY ROMNEY, I'VE GOT THIS PROPOSAL TO ELIMINATE A GOVT AGENCY THAT WOULD UNITE ALL OF AMERICA BEHIND YOU.

 

Nah, that'd be too easy.  Republicans don't like to win easily, for some reason.

Posted by: longerthoughts at May 21, 2012 07:07 AM (CVVLU)

153 just the punchline:

"Multiple orgasms"


Posted by: Jimbo at May 21, 2012 07:08 AM (O3R/2)

154 My two previous comments are related.

Posted by: Jimbo at May 21, 2012 07:09 AM (O3R/2)

155 Well I head out to CA on Father's Day. I leave real early in the AM so i hope the airport is empty and I just fly thru security.

Posted by: nevergiveup at May 21, 2012 07:09 AM (05RcU)

156

; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; line-height: normal;" class="MsoNormal">What say everybody dresses up like Moo-hommid when flying?  What about that?

Posted by: model_1066 at May 21, 2012 11:04 AM (YbQJm)

 

Fucking with people who have the power of the government behind them is never a good idea.  When I was really young and stupid, I made the mistake of comparing what I spent on lunch to what the border guard I was dealing with in Canada made in a month.  It didnÂ’t go well – and yes, there was a spreading of the cheeks involved.

Posted by: jwest at May 21, 2012 07:10 AM (ZDsRL)

157 Or how about: every time a TSA agent touches you, scream out at the top of your lungs like you're being stabbed, and get everyone's attention.  Scream "pervert! help, police!" if they merely touch you.  If everybody sez no to the scanner and does that routine, what the fuck could the TSA do?

Posted by: model_1066 at May 21, 2012 07:10 AM (YbQJm)

158 I push Grandpa's wheelchair through radiation machine so Grandpa's hyena don't get disturbed.

Posted by: Long Duk Dong at May 21, 2012 07:10 AM (93pSZ)

159 My 16yo son and I also went through ATL airport Friday afternoon.  We got the porno scanner then and coming home from MCO on Saturday afternoon.  I know that flat nobody got a thrill at my fat middle-aged self, but it was entertaining when my ds loudly asked why the TSA "wanted pictures of [his] junk!"

Posted by: VKI at May 21, 2012 07:11 AM (TKoA3)

160

jwest,

 

Who the fuck are the TSA to tell you what your religion is?

 

Posted by: model_1066 at May 21, 2012 07:11 AM (YbQJm)

161 Shit, I'll do that myself next time I fly....I'll buy a koran and read it aloud with an affectated lisp while I stand in line. Fuck the TSA.

Posted by: model_1066 at May 21, 2012 07:13 AM (YbQJm)

162 O/T, but if you have a car with bluetooth for hands-free speaker-and-mic cellphone usage, how does it work with multiple phones?

Our new BMW is giving us fits in this regard.

We want it so that the driver's phone is always primary, and is the one that works hands-free, but if we switch drivers, we have to go through a stupid reassignment routine with the car's system.

Posted by: TheLittlShiningMan at May 21, 2012 07:14 AM (PH+2B)

163 Did the TSA mopes get their dream of unionization, or the the R's hold firm on that no unionization thing for them?

Posted by: Boots at May 21, 2012 07:15 AM (neKzn)

164 159 Well I head out to CA on Father's Day. I leave real early in the AM so i hope the airport is empty and I just fly thru security.

Posted by: nevergiveup at May 21, 2012 11:09 AM (05RcU




See my post at 110.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 21, 2012 07:15 AM (UOM48)

165 I think it would be funny if everyone started moaning really loudly. What could they do? Just say "That really turns me on. No, it does." Then lick you lips and wink.

Posted by: Dagny at May 21, 2012 07:15 AM (mFIbw)

166 See my post at 110. Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 21, 2012 11:15 AM (UOM4 Yeah, but I'll be in Uniform so usually they don't give me much trouble

Posted by: nevergiveup at May 21, 2012 07:17 AM (05RcU)

167

And the BEST part?

 

TSA has NEVER stopped a Terorist Act... NEVER.

 

They find a few drugs... they confiscated a few weapons... but NO ONE who has been arrested during TSA searches has ever been accused of Terrorism.

Posted by: Romeo13 at May 21, 2012 07:18 AM (lZBBB)

168 Hiring a large numbers of uneducated employees away from fast food franchises, and giving them a huge amount of authority that involves intimate touching and judgement. Who could possibly have seen a problem with this. And let's unionize them, because, Lord knows, we don't want to risk losing these high quality employees.

Posted by: nerdygirl at May 21, 2012 07:19 AM (KRZPT)

169

Short story on how you can't win.

Since moving to this town last year I noticed sometimes when I turn the water on that the first second or two the water comes out brownish red in color. The house has all new pex lines BTW.

So being the genius that I am I go out and get a $300 system that gives me drinking water for the gallon of iced tea I dring a day. The full 9 yards, sediment filter, two carbon filters, reverse osmosis, and de-ionizer.

As I'm sitting enjoying my uber healthy iced tea yesterday I decide to google that and it seems that its more unsafe than drinking the unfiltered water! Something about the water being so devoid of minerals that it takes minerals away from your body in its way through the rental process.

You can't win.

Posted by: Jimmah at May 21, 2012 07:20 AM (UpwlP)

170 Just tell the TSA agent that you are gay and ask for the opposite sex because you will find a same sex pat down too stimulating.  Might work.

Posted by: Ammo Dump at May 21, 2012 07:21 AM (YYyqq)

171 Did the TSA mopes get their dream of unionization, or the the R's hold firm on that no unionization thing for them?

It's the Gimpy Old Pusses.  They folded like a wet napkin.

Posted by: Brother Cavil, New Caprica City DMV at May 21, 2012 07:21 AM (GBXon)

172 Something about the water being so devoid of minerals that it takes minerals away from your body in its way through the rental process.

What.

I swear, this crap is just being made up now.

Posted by: Brother Cavil, New Caprica City DMV at May 21, 2012 07:22 AM (GBXon)

173 I don't think TSA's job is to protect the passengers, but to protect the planes. If it was the passengers, they wouldn't have them densely packed in the cattle chutes on the unsecured side. All a terrorist has to do is walk in a suitcase bomb, get to the middle of the mob, lift it above his head and blow everone to hell. That is if all he wants is a body count.

Posted by: Hydrocarbon Liberation Front at May 21, 2012 07:23 AM (NVu2l)

174 #174. +1.

Posted by: OregonMuse at May 21, 2012 07:23 AM (fPBIw)

175 If anyone ever travels through JFK airport, leave your valuables at home.  The TSA there is literally a criminal enterprise.  They told me, give me your laptop so we can put it through the scanner again, so I did, and according to Lojack, it was last located in Africa.

Posted by: LIGuy at May 21, 2012 07:23 AM (+usC4)

176 170
See my post at 110.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 21, 2012 11:15 AM (UOM4


Yeah, but I'll be in Uniform so usually they don't give me much trouble

Posted by: nevergiveup at May 21, 2012 11:17 AM (05RcU




You still have to remove your shoes/boots, dog tags, etc., right?  I've watched our son and other military have to do so.  It's ridiculous.




Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 21, 2012 07:23 AM (UOM48)

177 If they privatized it and let you chose who gave the lap dance/pat down it could pay for itself.

Posted by: Buzzsaw at May 21, 2012 07:24 AM (tf9Ne)

178 174. It's my understanding that wouldn't work.
Pretty sure I ragged a TSA agent about it once. IIRC, she said, "Always same sex patdowns, no matter the sexual orientation."

Posted by: Cathy at May 21, 2012 07:25 AM (oiTOF)

179 O/T  Just heard on the radio that the NC teacher who told her student he could be arrested for criticizing The One has been suspended.


Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 21, 2012 07:25 AM (UOM48)

180 As a frequent flyer, I am not a fan of the current security process in our airports. The full-body scanners now being introduced are having the affect of slowing down the security process more than earlier additions did.

In years past I encountered many obnoxious TSA employees. However, in the past two years every TSA employee I have had more than the minimal interaction with has been polite and professional.

If you think a TSA employee you deal with is not professional and you have time, ask to speak to a supervisor and explain your concern to them.

About 4 years ago I was in line passing my bag and totes into the scanner, when an agent told me I needed to re-arrange my things in some certain way and I rolled my eyes and grunted in some way.  I was then informed that "You need to change your attitude."  in an arrogant, aggressive, and snotty manner.  I am not sure why this pissed me off more than normal but it did.

I went on through the scanner, picked up my things, and immediately asked to speak to a supervisor.  I was directed to a service desk where the agent directing me said I wanted to speak to a supervisor. I then informed the seated desk agent that I had a complaint about a screener. She asked me to indicate which screener which I then did. Suddenly she became excited and asked her supervisor to come over and told him I wanted to file a complaint against X.  X's co-workers were apparently no bigger fans of X than I was.  They took my contact information and information about my complaint.

A few days later I was contacted by phone by another TSA supervisor asking me for some more details of the event. I was contacted a few days after that and informed some sort of action (of which he was not specific) had been taken against agent X.

What is the point of this. I do not know. But I do think that many TSA people are interested in NOT pissing off everyone in the security line.   Also we should keep in mind that they must deal with hundreds or thousands of people a day. Of those they deal with a few idiots are happy, a decent percentage are neutral, and a majority are pissed off about the whole security theater. How would you deal with it?

Posted by: RioBravo at May 21, 2012 07:26 AM (eEfYn)

181 As I waited to place my bag on the conveyor belt last week, I watched in absolute disgust as SEVEN TSA agents examined an X-Ray image. This process, which clearly included a couple of supervisors, took at least 5 minutes. When I suggested to one of the agents that it might be more efficient to pull the bag in question off the belt rather than scrutinizing an X-Ray image, I was subjected to additional screening. When asked why I was being subjected to the pat-down I was told that I had "an attitude". The moral of this story is that our security is in the hands of people who simply love to exercise their control over us. Many TSA agents do an excellent job, but many others look for any chance at all to harass the traveling public.

Posted by: Tasmaniac at May 21, 2012 07:26 AM (X2M6S)

182 Just heard on the radio that the NC teacher who told her student he could be arrested for criticizing The One has been suspended.

I'm going to go out on a limb here, but I suspect the problem was not the actual offense, but that she got caught.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) Channelling Breitbart at May 21, 2012 07:26 AM (8y9MW)

183 What if everyone selected for the pat down called the airport police and reported a 4th amendment violation.  At least get a police report out of the deal.  However, one should be prepared to fly the following day.

Posted by: Ammo Dump at May 21, 2012 07:26 AM (YYyqq)

184 I heard that too Jane.  With pay I'm sure.  NEA is a disaster as too.

Posted by: Infidel at May 21, 2012 07:26 AM (O/fK8)

185

Overthrow the government of the United States.  Incinerate every last man, woman, and child living within the Beltway.  Conduct a blood purge of the bureaucracy.  Nothing less will save the Republic. 

Posted by: Big Fat Meanie at May 21, 2012 07:27 AM (Ec6wH)

186 My husband, a maintenance supervisor for AAL at ORD, had a SEALED CAN of Campbell's soup "confiscated" once. Those fatass TSA jags will stop at nothing to eat free shit.
My husband said, "So you're taking my lunch because I might use it to cause harm? I tighten screws on aircraft for a living.  I don't need cream of mushroom to hurt people."
I told him he is SO lucky they didn't consider that a freaking threat.
99% of the time, the cops would have been called.

Posted by: Cathy at May 21, 2012 07:29 AM (oiTOF)

187 Did she actually look like she could take care of a terrorist if she ever ran into one or did she look like most TSA agents, a fat tub that can barely pull themselves out of their chair to grope your nads?

Posted by: booger at May 21, 2012 07:29 AM (HI6wa)

188 Texas morons might want to remember that the Texas House passed some legislation with regard to TSA molestation but Dewhurst killed it in the Texas Senate.  It's not the only piece of conservative legislation he has done this too, and about a week from now we get to decide if it's Dewhurst or someone else who replaces KBH.

Posted by: Bob Saget at May 21, 2012 07:30 AM (SDkq3)

189 My strategy for flying is a bit different. I fly with my son, who is currently 6 years old. There is almost always a "family line" which is off to the side. I think they figure anyone traveling with a wiggly one such as my boy cannot possibly have time or patience to be a terrorist. Anyway, they mostly just wave you through the metal detector and off you go. There is some token check of liquids, but they let baby food through, so I pack those presealed applesauce packets and juice boxes. They always let those through.

Idjits.

Posted by: tcn at May 21, 2012 07:30 AM (WhSRj)

190 The worst part is how The Husband was trying to dispel my an anxiety over the trip, by telling me that it isn't any big deal.

I looked at him like he was crazy, and accused him of becoming numb to the violation of his civil rights. This is the guy who regularly corresponds with our congress-critters on every topic, in order to make certain they are aware of his displeasure with their job performance.

I'm thinking about getting some kind of prescription happy pill to keep me from acting/looking like a psychotic freak, because I get anxious and pissed just thinking about having to deal with it all.


Posted by: Feynmangroupie at May 21, 2012 07:31 AM (oI744)

191 It's very interesting that the "This machine is not radiation" line is being used on a lot of people. but realized he seemed intent in trying to get a reaction so I could be escalated to the next level of harassment. Yeah, while she was browbeating me I kept my expression placid and just said "No...I'm sorry." She was watching my face and I am pretty certain that if I had given her even the nuance of sass, I'd still be there today. Of course, NOW my hackles won't go down because it was so infuriating to not even be able to call her on a lie.

Posted by: lauraw at May 21, 2012 07:31 AM (tmAFW)

192 192
That showdown with the feds was one wisest to avoid.

Posted by: RioBravo at May 21, 2012 07:31 AM (eEfYn)

193 193 I always get hassled going thru security. It's like those idiots at LAX never saw a cock ring before.

Posted by: Rosie O at May 21, 2012 11:30 AM (yn6XZ)

 

Oh my!  LOL!!

Posted by: Ammo Dump at May 21, 2012 07:31 AM (YYyqq)

194 Good for you!!  I refuse to go through the machines as well.  I make them pat me down--in public.

I usually tell the screener that in some cultures, we would be considered married.

I consider it my performance art.

Posted by: Scoob at May 21, 2012 07:31 AM (w0hUG)

195 Speaking of the growing police state: new post (not about the TSA specifically, though maybe I'll ask Lauraw for some more details and make a post out of it) up at my place.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) Channelling Breitbart at May 21, 2012 07:32 AM (8y9MW)

196 Go Ted Cruz!

Posted by: thunderb at May 21, 2012 07:33 AM (Dnbau)

197 I haven't flown since a flight last year, when TSA herded us all through a single line to the naked scanners, even tho that caused a slowdown. No metal detectors any more--not humiliating enough!

Then on the way home, my sweater's gold threads set off the scanner, as they told me, so I said thanks and started walking away. No, no, they said you still had to have the pat down! So I made her do it in front of everyone. This is what your government is doing to you!! There was a woman with a Muslim headscarf on the flight. I wanted to ask her if she had to have a patdown but I was too mad, and scared to open my mouth.

Listen, stop flying. Hurt the airlines and this will end. They are only too happy to let the TSA take the blame.

Posted by: PJ at May 21, 2012 07:33 AM (DQHjw)

198 Air travel has gotten to be so dehumanizing that if it takes less than 7 hours to drive to my destination I will drive to avoid the airport. Example- I fly out of Midway airport in Chicago. Once I was going through the cattle call in security when the bustray bins for our shoes, etc. were all gone. Not just our line, but all three lines nearby. So being good cattle, everyone stood silently expecting that one of the dolts working in this f***ing union operation would be bring bins. Nope, they were too busy talking. So I took it upon myself to try to get someone's attention but was forced to scream at the top of my lungs that there we no bins. If looks could kill. Good thing they don't allow orifice searches. Our line was the last to get bins, and I got a pat down by 300 pound Shanika. Great trip .

Posted by: Last conservative in IL at May 21, 2012 07:34 AM (P7JR5)

199 If you go to a barber shop or a beauty parlor, the government protects you from a bad hair day or a bad hair week by ensuring that the barber or beautician is at least minimally competent and ethical in that there is a license required.  Imagine if politicians had to prove that they were minimally competent and ethical in order to hold office.  Could Sheila Jackson Lee, Charlie Rangel, Maxine Waters, Nancy Pelosi, or Harry Reid demonstrate at least a minimal level of competence and ethics?

I'm joking, of course.  A barber's license is intended to prevent bad hair.  A politician license would be intended to protect only the future of the country.    

Posted by: WalrusRex at May 21, 2012 07:34 AM (Hx5uv)

200

186 Just heard on the radio that the NC teacher who told her student he
could be arrested for criticizing The One has been suspended.

**

That was the most retarded thing I've heard in a loooooong time and thats saying alot since the inception of Obama-mania and OWS. Get your children out of public schools now.

 

Posted by: dananjcon at May 21, 2012 07:36 AM (eavT+)

201
So thats with less govt involvement. I shudder to think what the future holds.

Mandatory lower GIs for everyone!

And you won't mind because they're free.

Posted by: Ed Anger - Certified Kos Kid at May 21, 2012 07:36 AM (7+pP9)

202 I took a course entitled "Anthropology of America" in college. The ironically America-hating professor seriously believed that children were morally superior to adults, and should therefore have the right to vote and make policy. I guess if children were in charge, America would no longer make war on the world, ending its empire-building.

What is it with libs and not realizing they, and not their kids, should be in charge? You have Jimmy Carter asking a *child* about nuclear issues, and then Obama invoking his kids when flip-flopping on gay marriage.

Now you have spineless people losing it because their 4-yo is being difficult. Next time their child insists on playing with fire because they really love hot shiny things, why not just let the child go ahead and play with fire,? Because that's what the child wants to do and the parent doesn't know better than the child, right?

My goodness.

Posted by: chique d'afrique (the artist formerly known as african chick) at May 21, 2012 11:02 AM (21lBC)

Posted by: Pyrocles at May 21, 2012 07:36 AM (cv5Iw)

203

 193 I always get hassled going thru security. It's like those idiots at LAX never saw a cock ring before.
Posted by: Rosie O at May 21, 2012 11:30 AM (yn6XZ)
**

**

Now thats some funneh right there!

 

Posted by: dananjcon at May 21, 2012 07:38 AM (eavT+)

204 207 I took a course entitled "Anthropology of America" in college. The ironically America-hating professor seriously believed that children were morally superior to adults, and should therefore have the right to vote and make policy. I guess if children were in charge, America would no longer make war on the world, ending its empire-building. Posted by: Pyrocles at May 21, 2012 11:36 AM (cv5Iw) Obviously they have never dealt with pre-teen girls and their absolute viciousness.

Posted by: nnptcgrad at May 21, 2012 07:38 AM (Opyrm)

205 I just landed a job in Washington state so I had to buy a one-way coast to coast ticket, WA being about as far away from Florida as you can get in the lower 48. Now, at least I know what I can expect. Last time I flew was 2006 and that was bad on a round trip tick.

Posted by: Tommy Gunnarson at May 21, 2012 07:38 AM (ybA9f)

206 Did you pay for your one-way with cash?  I am sure you will breeze through the line.


Posted by: Jimbo at May 21, 2012 07:40 AM (O3R/2)

207 It's not the only piece of conservative legislation he has done this too, and about a week from now we get to decide if it's Dewhurst or someone else who replaces KBH.

My only problem is that it's definitely "the least of evils" in the race for me.  Dewhurst is a squish (and a lawyer), Cruz is a lawyer, and Tom Leppert was Mayor of Dallas (which should normally = "squish").

Sadly, the one with the most conservative actual record is Tom Leppert (actually shrunk government in Dallas, actively rejected spending taxpayer dollars to build a stadium for the Cowboys, a few other things), but I'm pretty sure he's not going to get more than about 10 - 15% of the vote, and I don't want my vote to go to (effectively) a 3rd party and let David Dewhurst head to Washington...

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) Channelling Breitbart at May 21, 2012 07:40 AM (8y9MW)

208 Gotta fly the family to Vegas in September for my brother's wedding.  Not only do the tickets seem unbelievably expensive, but my little one is not big on strangers. I am already dreading the flight. We booked a week at Disney for Christmas and we are driving it, all 20 hours, rather than fly - it is cheaper and less invasive.

Posted by: Penfold at May 21, 2012 07:40 AM (1PeEC)

209 Did you pack your hump yourself, Miss?

Posted by: TSA bitch at May 21, 2012 07:40 AM (FTuxU)

210 I have always hated flying.... So, my wife the moderate - says all of Obama's stuff is not so bad??? Huh??? So the wife wants to go to Shitcago this summer?? So I can show close up how shitty flying is and how shitty Chicago is - all in one trip....

Posted by: izoneguy at May 21, 2012 07:41 AM (hbRed)

211 If you think a TSA employee you deal with is not professional and you have time, ask to speak to a supervisor and explain your concern to them.
====================
This is actually the best approach.
Remember, they are a government agency, they have to document and fill out forms for everything. Complaining to a supervisor--in a very nice way--means paperwork.
 And government supervisors are lazy but sticklers for the rules (that's how they got to be supervisor). So, underlings who make more work for them get shuffled to duties that make less work for the supervisor.
End result is we either get the guys who don't care and wave everyone though or you get the professionals who treat you with respect and don't garner complaints.

Posted by: Jimmuy at May 21, 2012 07:42 AM (kSaUf)

212 I paid by card but I need to carry a bit of cash. Will they find that interesting or should I assume that a bribe is in order?

Posted by: Tommy Gunnarson, Scandi Icon at May 21, 2012 07:42 AM (ybA9f)

213 Obviously they have never dealt with pre-teen girls and their absolute viciousness.

Posted by: nnptcgrad at May 21, 2012 11:38 AM (Opyrm)

-----

So when moslems don't get their way they'll just purposely destroy a $300 cell phone or break the louvers on the laundry room door.

Posted by: Jimmah at May 21, 2012 07:43 AM (UpwlP)

214 I have to fly to Alaska this summer. From Wisconsin. I am still considering driving. Even crossing the border, twice, will be easier by car than passing through the rape gates at the airport. It's only 3500 miles...

Posted by: tcn at May 21, 2012 07:44 AM (WhSRj)

215 Nothing says professional like a uniformed, unionized, Mostly unemployable, federal employee.

Posted by: Tom Daschle at May 21, 2012 07:48 AM (jucos)

216 I flew from SNA to B'ham last week. When I pack, I try to make sure my carry-on is hassle free (the liquids in a baggy, etc), and that I have no metal in my pockets and I skip wearing a belt or a watch. I try to greet the TSA screeners with a smile.

Sometimes, it works and they're pleasant. Sometimes, they're raging assholes anyway.  SNA is usually pretty well run, polite professional staff.

B'ham, on the other hand, is always full of petty tyrants.

Posted by: xbradtc at May 21, 2012 07:48 AM (LouEe)

217 I am the most pleasant person I know.
If you are pleasant to me, using the Magic Words when you need something, offering an occasional smile, speaking in a calm, considerate voice, etc., I will be your BFF no matter what you are asking for.

When you shriek at me to TAKE OFF MY SHOES or CHANGE MY ATTITUDE or LINE FORMS HERE I am going to go from Happy McPleasantface to Full-on Bitch in about .4 seconds. I just cannot abide the complete disrespect and rudeness. My immediate family does not speak to me that way and I'll be damned if some lardassed pock-faced 20 year old punk is going to.

What these donkeys fail to realize is that 99% of their problems could be avoided by treating their customers like human beings.
I am a 911 operator. I know a little about stress, I know a little about customers who are annoying or silly or confused.
I will ALWAYS treat you with the respect I owe you by virtue of your humanity. If my dispatchers engaged in the rudeness that the TSA does, I swear to God...I'd stab them.



Posted by: Cathy at May 21, 2012 07:49 AM (oiTOF)

218 Of course, NOW my hackles won't go down because it was so infuriating to not even be able to call her on a lie.

Posted by: lauraw at May 21, 2012 11:31 AM (tmAFW)



In the old Soviet Union, you had every right to apply for an exit visa ... but applying for an exit visa was evidence that you are an enemy of the State.

Speaking of which, we now have the Crybaby of the House joining with the neo-commies on erecting a financial Berlin Wall around America.  You can renounce American citizenship, but you can only take as much money as you can carry in your hands ... in Ones, Fives and Tens.  The rest belongs to Uncle Sam - if the neo-commies and the Weeper of the House get their way.

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at May 21, 2012 07:49 AM (X3lox)

219 I think that now that I've been laid off, it would be a good time to do a 4th Amendment challenge case. Use some frequent flier miles, refuse the scan and the search, and then get someone like the ACLJ to support my lawsuit to re-establish probable cause as a criteria for search.

Or let all the crew and passengers fly armed, in which case I would feel a lot safer than now anyway.

Posted by: Arms Merchant at May 21, 2012 07:49 AM (+XVQe)

220

@203 - Not quite the last.

 

We have to fly to England in the fall and I'm dreading, dreading, dreading it.  My son has Asperger's and I'm really nervous that he's going to do or say something to draw TSA attention to himself.

Posted by: Gem at May 21, 2012 07:50 AM (zw+pb)

221 Cruz has a hell of a resume. I think he'd make a fine AG.

Posted by: Hydrocarbon Liberation Front at May 21, 2012 07:50 AM (NVu2l)

222 Went through TSA last night at DIA.  Went through the stupid machine that takes your picture and the lady also did a body search on my top half.  What an insult. 

Posted by: Sue at May 21, 2012 07:50 AM (Dd2uF)

223 I flew from Charlotte to San Antonio a couple of years ago to see my oldest son graduate from AF basic training. On the way home, I was going through the security line, and the checker pulled my carry on bag (a backpack) from the xray machine. He motioned me over, and asked me what the liquid in the bottle was. Oops; in my rush to get to my flight from checking in my rental car, I had just put my spit bottle in my carry on bag instead of throwing it away. I said "Oh, thats my spit bottle" and then pointed to my can of tobacco that was also in the backpack. The look on his face was priceless... "Ewww. Your gonna have to throw that out".   

Posted by: DaveinNC at May 21, 2012 07:51 AM (boNGU)

224 I think he'd make a fine AG.

AG- yes.  Justice- probably.  Senator?  I'm not nearly so sure.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) Channelling Breitbart at May 21, 2012 07:51 AM (8y9MW)

225 So, the lady was black, Laura? I know you have the same problem adjusting to our President.

Posted by: Greg at May 21, 2012 07:51 AM (bN5ZU)

226 Love it! George Carlin's Airport Security 10-4 copy ove3r

Posted by: KarCarr at May 21, 2012 07:58 AM (YjWMA)

227 No, Greg, more of a honeyed-taupe, I'd say. You racialist asshole. Like it even matters.

Posted by: lauraw at May 21, 2012 08:00 AM (tmAFW)

228 So, Greg, as a retarded lib (yes, I know it's redundant), are you always seeing raaaaaaacism everywhere? I know you have the same problem adjusting to reality.

Now take your meds and go away.

Posted by: Arms Merchant at May 21, 2012 08:00 AM (+XVQe)

229

Yeah, Cruz is another Harvard guy. I am trying to limit my voting for the Harvard aristocracy. But otoh, Leppert is a Harvard boy (MBA) too. Crazy times when a Texan has to choose amongst Ivy Leaguers.

 

I might wind up flipping a coin. I lean Leppert, but Cruz has some impressive endorsements.

Posted by: Hydrocarbon Liberation Front at May 21, 2012 08:01 AM (NVu2l)

230 (bN5ZU)

Apropos of nothing: Average Joe volunteers to provide suction for organic phalli.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) Channelling Breitbart at May 21, 2012 08:02 AM (8y9MW)

231 They have us by the balls and they know it.

I am not going to drive across the continent.  I will not take Amtrak across the continent.  If I want to go to the other coast, I must fly.

I will drive all day to get anywhere in a 700 mile radius.  Maybe even 2 days.

I think the 3 or 4 day national strike might be the thing.  Let's pick some date in the future (How about this coming Thanksgiving?) and get the ball rolling.

Posted by: Jimbo at May 21, 2012 08:03 AM (O3R/2)

232 I am trying to limit my voting for the Harvard aristocracy.

Presuming you've actually done something, I don't hold Harvard against a politician.  It's the ones who seem to think that simply graduating from Harvard should qualify them to run my life that I dislike.

And Tom Leppert was/is a very successful businessman.  So successful that the donated his entire salary as Mayor of Dallas to charity (I doubt if he donated his 'expense account' of course).

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) Channelling Breitbart at May 21, 2012 08:05 AM (8y9MW)

233 So, I had to fly to Detroit to Austin a few months ago. In Detroit, I opted for the feel up (and asked the TSA lady "are you going to enjoy this?" She said "No," so I figured i was safe) and expected to do the feel up in Austin on return.

Well, as it turns out there were three lines in Austin- two featured the naked radiation of death machines... and the third..... had none. I went to the third because it looked quicker and was happy to note that I didn't have to have some strange person touch me.

Moral of the story? Look when you're in line. You might get lucky and not have to do either.

Posted by: shibumi at May 21, 2012 08:08 AM (z63Tr)

234 Shame on you Laura.  You don't have to, and should not, suck up to the worthless piles of crap.  Why don't I pose for the machine?

1: If you want to take nude photos of me, YOU have to pay ME.
2: Have you caught a single terrorist with those machines yet?  (Answer, just admitted last week?  No.)
3: I don't play in "security theater".

Do, not, ever, suck up to the little shits.  Make them feel bad about being worthless thugs.

(I always refuse the scanner, I let my contempt show, I've been patted down about 15 times so far, and I tend to make them far more uncomfortable than they make me.  I also always insist they grope me in public.)

Posted by: Greg Q at May 21, 2012 08:09 AM (IicB7)

235

And now I will jinx myself:  I've never had to go through any "extra treatment" in my semi-regular business flying.

 

Luck of the draw, I suppose.

Posted by: reason at May 21, 2012 08:13 AM (XiVKO)

236 192  yep.  Dewhurst sucks.

Posted by: Troll Feeder at May 21, 2012 08:15 AM (E11bd)

237 In what other business transaction is it standard practice for service people to browbeat you and treat you with open contempt? I can't think of one. This seems to not happen anywhere else. Only when you're dealing with government employees. OH HELLS YES, LET'S HAVE MORE OF THIS PLEASE. SIGN MY ASS RIGHT UP FOR TEN THOUSAND UNITS.

Posted by: lauraw at May 21, 2012 08:15 AM (tmAFW)

238

Guess I'm in the minority, but I've found the TSA folks at the airport to be generally professional and polite. Don't get me wrong, I loathe the PC BS that underpins it , but personally, my family has not had any discourtesy, flying several times a year.

I was a little flipped out though when they made me put my wallet and expensive watch in an open bin while I was being radioacted. I was out of sight of them for a minute or two, and there were several people milling around the conveyor belt where the stuff was coming through. Guess I should have secured them in my briefcase, but did not know the drill.  

If it really, truly kept us all safe, that would be one thing, but most of it is PC eyewash so we don't offend anyone who might be part of a protected class. We are absolutely insane.

Posted by: RM at May 21, 2012 08:16 AM (TRsME)

239 Austin has the L3 machines which are not X-Ray, so those are OK and quick to go through.  They are grey with glass windows.  The Blue ones with the name RAPE-I-SCAN are the ones that dose you with radiation.  I do the pat down when I don't have a choice. 

It happened this morning in San Diego.  Patted down by a cousin of Barry Soetoro who could barely speak English.  I enjoyed ignoring whatever the hell he was saying while looking at the camera in the ceiling with disdain  while pushing my glasses back up on my nose with my middle finger multiple times.

Fricking McDonald's rejects.

Posted by: TexBob at May 21, 2012 08:16 AM (utELx)

240 I've been asking Mitt Romney about his position on abolishing the TSA for over a week on Twitter. I've gotten no answer.

Posted by: DangerGirl at May 21, 2012 08:19 AM (B2fm1)

241 One of the reasons I DETEST flying these days is the Khmer Rouge known as airport security you have to deal with. Fuck the TSA.

Posted by: Megyn Kelly Leg Shot at May 21, 2012 08:27 AM (sTS/8)

242 At MSP, there used to be a secret business-travelers security checkpoint at the far end of the terminal (actually in the parking ramp).  Never has more than 1 person in line.  Always fun and easy to go through (magnetometer only).  Until last year when they put in the fully monty, plus the swabs.

Fuck the TSA fascists!

Posted by: Tonic Dog at May 21, 2012 08:33 AM (X/+QT)

243

A year ago, my family was walking into the airport when my son opens his back pack and says Uh-Oh. He shows me a full box of shotgun shells. Dang!

We walked around until we found a garbage can away from anyone and dumped them in there. He ended up getting swabbed "randomly" and we were waiting nervously but he cleared OK.

Mr smartypants left the box in his backpack after spending a day at the range. He wanted to leave them in a restroom stall just for fun but I warned him that that might shut down the airport.

Posted by: Max Entropy at May 21, 2012 08:42 AM (GV+gj)

244
(I always refuse the scanner, I let my contempt show, I've been patted down about 15 times so far, and I tend to make them far more uncomfortable than they make me. I also always insist they grope me in public.)

Posted by: Greg Q at May 21, 2012 12:09 PM

I like the cut of your jib!

Posted by: shibumi at May 21, 2012 08:45 AM (z63Tr)

245 Yeah, the tongue clucking, the head shaking, the rolling of the beady little eyes, the berating ("what's wrong with you?"), the punitive waiting.  Gawd how I hate these useless little pervs.  In a free and just society they would be cleaning the fryer at the Dairy Queen.  Instead, they are checking out my crotch, insulting me, and making me anxious and late.  At my expense.

Posted by: AMartel at May 21, 2012 08:51 AM (1Bqk7)

246 I always opt out, just to clog up the system. If everyone opted out, they would have to get a new system, because they wouldn't be able to feel up everyone. Two things: First, my answer is always, "I don't trust what they say about the machines." If I get the "no radiation" line, I ask, "how do you know? You think they won't lie about that?" Then I tell the story about shoe store fluoroscopes. They were big X-Ray machines you could use with new shoes to look at your feet to see if you shoes fit. They leaked radiation all the time, and eventually were banned. Thing is, no customers were ever shown to get cancer from it. On the other hand... THE SALESMEN were dropping like flies from cancer. The more lucid screeners get the analogy. (I've also found that a lot of them start listening when ask, "you think they wouldn't lie about that?") The second thing is, at least from a guy's perspective, I almost never get the REAL pat down. Maybe it is that I seem to know the procedure well, I'm relaxed, and I don't fit any profiles, but the last dozen or so screeners seem to have interpreted "up the crotch until I meet resistance" to mean 'touching fabric is enough resistance.' I've heard that women still do the full monty most times, though. I assume that is because the type of women who will do the job are either lesbians or bitter cunts.

Posted by: Phelps at May 21, 2012 08:59 AM (aO4H/)

247 I like to fuck with them as they pat me down with lines like "I'm amazed that you guys work around this radiation machine all day long and you are not allowed to wear a Dosimeter."

They then ask what is a dosimeter, and then I explain that it measures long term exposure to radiation.  I then ask them if they are done having kids or if there is cancer in the family.

This tends to set them off and I leave saying good luck playing cancer roulette at work...with a smile.

Posted by: TexBob at May 21, 2012 09:07 AM (utELx)

248 “We cannot continue to rely on our military in order to achieve the national security objectives we’ve set. We’ve got to have a civilian national security force that’s just as powerful, just as strong, just as well-funded.”

Quote from The Dear Leader, Chairman Barack

Posted by: chuckR at May 21, 2012 09:12 AM (XLu7l)

249 I opted out last year on my honeymoon. Partly to b a dick and not fall n line like a good sheep and to keep attention on this communist union-vote agency, and partly cause im not big on greasy fat-rolled pervy losers sittng n a private room watchng live video of my wife naked. Lets just say the ancient greeks were right, only a man really knows how to love another man. -Fuck the the TSA, and fuck every commie moron prick who thinks its all part of keeping america safe.

Posted by: Infidelswine at May 21, 2012 09:14 AM (AdNnl)

250 Laura, that rant was so epic I had to post it on Faceborg

Posted by: krukke1 at May 21, 2012 09:18 AM (7KLwM)

251
Do you remember River Tam's nightmare, from "Firefly"? "Two by two, hands of blue."

For some reason, that popped into my head the last time I went through airport security, and saw the TSA personnel wearing their bright blue rubber gloves.

I wonder if Joss Whedon ever got the "special treatment" from the TSA?

Posted by: Brown Line at May 21, 2012 09:19 AM (4glf1)

252 We should start a quiet campaign to subvert the TSA.  For those who can pull it off, we need to start expressing serious concern about the long-term exposure of TSA agents to those machines by being in the same room.  We surely have some good actors who can feign concern.  When the agent counters with "lies on the internet" just respond very sweetly that how do they know the government isn't lying to them to give them cancer?  Did the government lie about Agent Orange?  Have they never lied to federal employees?  Really?  Maybe they are using the agents as lab rats to test long-term exposure to these machines.  It is going to impact them long before it impacts the most frequent traveler.

Posted by: bill at May 21, 2012 09:34 AM (w+4Xb)

253 Hate to say it, but these thugs are so stupid, so brutish, so inherently corrupt that I actually hope the scan machines are leaking at least half the radiation they're said to  be putting out.

Posted by: Sam Adams at May 21, 2012 09:38 AM (ReOEZ)

254 Air travel has been my passion since I first flew sixty years ago.  I worked for seventeen years in the airline business and flew the flaps off those puppies every chance I had.

As of this moment in time I do not expect to ever board an airplane again.

Posted by: creeper at May 21, 2012 10:03 AM (gre5a)

255 Keep clucking that chicken...er, tongue

Posted by: JeremiadBullfrog at May 21, 2012 10:16 AM (Y5I9o)

256 What is the avg salary of one of these people? If everyone use the scanners, would the smarmy woman still have a job? Something tells me she wouldn't be the one to perform maintenence on it.

Posted by: i like anchors 2012 at May 21, 2012 10:56 AM (nBE5A)

257 Senator? I'm not nearly so sure.
--
Compared to KBH, Cruz would be an improvement. Dewhurst is her metromale counterpart. And Dewhurst would likely be harder to remove than Cruz should whichever winner prove to be AWFUL in D.C.

Posted by: panzernashorn at May 21, 2012 12:03 PM (lpWVn)

258 The TSA exists for one purpose; to employ those no one else would so they will always and forever vote democrat.

Posted by: VADM (Red) Cuthbert Lord Collingwood (Mentioned in Dispatches) at May 21, 2012 12:19 PM (Uh+y6)

259 Oh, yeah? Well, when I went through TSA at Oakland, this cute little Asian TSA agent looked at my ID and then at me and said "You've lost weight." What? No, I'm not complaining. I'm trolling the internet to brag about it on TSA threads.

Posted by: Jonn Lilyea at May 21, 2012 12:27 PM (xq7/M)

260 You might get lucky and not have to do either.


Posted by: shibumi at May 21, 2012 12:08 PM



Oh really?

Posted by: TSA Supervisor at May 21, 2012 01:10 PM (DQHjw)

261 "79 How many plots have TSA intercepted at the scanners?" It really would be interesting to know this bit of information. Normally, I'd think it's unlikely anybody who takes security seriously would leak details on successful intercepts, as they wouldn't want planners to have any insight how their operatives were nabbed. However, this is the Obama "Administration", and we all know they can't resist trumpeting news that makes Chicago Jesus look like teh best prez evah in the history of all preznitz, so if there were some big plots foiled by TSA we'd hear about it -consequences be damned. Since we don't hear much, my guess is there haven't been many intercepts of consequence so they keep their traps shut about this, because if we knew how few plots they've foiled by their fondling at the gates, it would jeopardize the existence of Security Theater, and all the union jobs that come with it........

Posted by: djm1992 at May 21, 2012 02:03 PM (1o4B5)

262 76  Even if it were true, being told the machines were sonar would not be reassuring...

Posted by: frogman at May 21, 2012 02:57 PM (CI22O)

263 @ 69.  I work with one FBI agent who I swear to God every time I mention Thousands Standing Around, I can see cartoon smoke coming out of his ears. He just loses his shit.

If his experiences with TSA are anything like mine, I can't blame him.  I fly armed all the time, and we have our own screening process to deal with (not anywhere as intrusive as the public.)  The procedure should get us through the process quickly, and with any luck, anonymously.

I have had several instances where I have been very publicly outed as an agent carrying a gun.  In each case, the "outing" in my opinion, was intentional.  In all cases, it was a minority female (with an attitude) who did it, either out of spite, or anger that we were allowed to fly armed (maybe it was because we avoided their authority).

In fairness, my other dealings with TSA have generally been professional (though I still think the agency is fucked).

In each case, I notified their supervisor (except for one instance where it happened in front of one), and nothing was done.  I would prefer that no one know I have a firearm on a plane, especially the dozens of other passengers on the same flight who witnessed the "outings." 

I have had several other agents tell me similar stories. 


Posted by: elliot at May 21, 2012 03:51 PM (3caZC)

264 Obama is a stuttering clusterf*ck of a miserable failure.

Posted by: steevy at May 21, 2012 03:53 PM (7W3wI)

265 "A dog's obeyed in office." -- Will Shakespeare

The government "numpties" (to borrow the English term) are too busy making sure our pilots can't carry guns to defend the cockpits to pay attention to minor security lapses like letting full-fledged hardcore Muslims and Muslimas (or muslims in drag) get through Security Theater without a scan OR a patdown -- on religious grounds, natch.

Welcome to the monkeyhouse.

Posted by: Beverly at May 21, 2012 04:41 PM (rcTao)

266 I will force them to fondle me.

Posted by: EROWMER at May 21, 2012 05:24 PM (sIm3i)

267 I frequently entertain myself by asking the TSA goon groping me up how he feels about working around radiation equipment all day yet not being allowed to wear a dosimeter to ensure he's not getting fried on the job. Just to see how he reacts. Sadly, most of them seem either indifferent or ignorant to the topic ("What's a dosimeter?" is a common response). You can't cure stupid. But I keep trying, planting those seeds. And further loathing my government for imparting this police state mentality on us in the first place.

Posted by: Swanny at May 21, 2012 08:58 PM (ZthpO)

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