Ace of Spades HQ

August 26, 2012

Tropical Storm Isaac (tmi3rd)
— Open Blogger

Good evening, Morons and Moronettes, and greetings from the AoSHQ Weather Desk. Moron kbdabear coined the term "Geraldo Cantore", and in relation to this storm, he is sooooo right. People have been beating the drum about this (so far) garden-variety storm, and they're not helping anything. So let's get this above the fold and then we'll take it from there.

This storm is not Katrina, redux. So don't panic if you're in its path.

Thank you. More below the fold. Isaac 5-day.gif

So Isaac is currently a good-looking tropical storm with winds of 65 mph. For those of you on the East Coast and in the Midwest, you've been through worse winter storms than that. The satellite pic is pretty nice-looking- what was a ragged, asymmetric storm is getting its act together, and it's definitely strengthening.

It's also hauling ass. As you notice from the above graphic, it's moving west-northwest at 16 mph. That's absolutely flying for most hurricanes. That means it won't have time to strengthen unless it abruptly slows down.

Now, the modeling can't decide where it wants to bring Isaac ashore, and there's a good 300-mile-disagreement with regards to many of them. For the moment, the forecast track above takes it in more or less right at the MS/LA line, and that seems pretty reasonable. The forecast track has shifted west over the past few days- started at Destin, FL; then Mobile, AL; then Biloxi, MS; and now New Orleans. Given how this has behaved, the Weather Desk's advisors (who actually do this stuff for a living) aren't weighing in on where they think Isaac will go specifically. As such, it's probably a good idea not to guess unless you're placing bets on its landfall.

For folks down in Florida, you can expect your usual heavy rainfall and gale-force winds for another day or two, and you'll want to be on the lookout for flooding (not like you weren't already). Hopefully, that's about as exciting as it gets for you.

Safety notes: first of all, for us Gulf Coast natives, again, this is a garden-variety tropical storm that will probably become a garden-variety hurricane. The usual precautions should already be underway, and if you're directly on the beach, it's probably a good idea to get inland a bit further. There won't be any "slosh models" (flooding models) until we have a better idea of timing, intensity, and tides.

Also, though many may already be aware of this, the ugly side of the storm is the northeast quadrant. The shear is highest there, the rain tends to be heaviest there, and you do occasionally get a tornado or two out of hurricanes that way (usually of the EF-0 variety).

Wrapping up- the public advisory notes the following:

a Hurricane Warning is in effect for...
* east of Morgan City Louisiana to Destin Florida...including metropolitan New Orleans...Lake Pontchartrain...and Lake Maurepas

a Hurricane Watch is in effect for...

* east of Destin to Indian Pass Florida

a Tropical Storm Warning is in effect for...

* the Florida Peninsula from Sebastian Inlet southward on the East
Coast and from Tarpon Springs southward on the West Coast.

* Florida Keys...including the Dry Tortugas and Florida Bay

* Lake Okeechobee

* east of Destin Florida to the Suwannee River

I don't want to downplay it to the point where nobody takes it seriously, but this is what we prepare for every year. As long as nobody does anything stupid (and someone inevitably does), this should be something less than what it's being blown up into. Again, if you're along the northern Gulf Coast, start wrapping up your preparations, and if you're in low-lying areas, have your evacuation route ready.

If you've got questions for me, find me on Twitter at my handle... we've got a fantasy draft tonight, so I won't be quite as available as I usually am.

Thanks for reading!

-tmi3rd

Posted by: Open Blogger at 04:28 PM | Comments (263)
Post contains 656 words, total size 4 kb.

1 Obama is a stuttering clusterf*ck of a miserable failure.

Posted by: steevy at August 26, 2012 04:33 PM (6o4Fb)

2 RNC Chairman Reince Priebus will be at the hall for a quick, 5-minute gaveling in at the convention Monday with an immediate recess until Tuesday. A clock indicating how much debt has been added to the national tally in the time span of the convention will also be started. MondayÂ’s headliners were all shuffled into Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday. Ann Romney and New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie will cap off Tuesday night; Condoleezza Rice, New Mexico Gov. Susana Martinez, and Rep. Paul Ryan (R-Wis.) are the final speakers on Wednesday; and Sen. Marco Rubio (R-Fla.) and Mitt Romney still finish out the convention on Thursday. On a conference call with reporters this evening, convention organizers were asked how the Â“opticsÂ” of the conference would be if Isaac wreaks devastation on the Gulf Coast mid-week as the GOP parties in Tampa. Â“ThereÂ’s a weather event; we all know that the weather event is there Â… weÂ’re obviously monitoring whatÂ’s going on with the weather,Â” said Russ Schriefer, Romney for President Strategist. Â“Our concern has to be with the people who are in the path of the storm.Â”

Posted by: steevy at August 26, 2012 04:33 PM (6o4Fb)

Hello Chocolate City!

Posted by: Hurricane Isaac at August 26, 2012 04:33 PM (3ZwoK)

4 that would be West... shifted west. yw

Posted by: moron at August 26, 2012 04:33 PM (68nUO)

5 So can I don my hardhat with flashing safety light?

Posted by: flashing fluffy at August 26, 2012 04:34 PM (z9HTb)

6 So,basically the GOP can't win with the MFM.Reschedule or go ahead as planned it will make no difference

Posted by: steevy at August 26, 2012 04:34 PM (6o4Fb)

7 Wife says "The Republicans pussied out fer' nuthin'"

Posted by: Beto at August 26, 2012 04:36 PM (BAnPT)

8 the track in the past few days, that is...

Posted by: moron at August 26, 2012 04:36 PM (68nUO)

9 The satellite pic is pretty nice-looking- what was a ragged, asymmetric storm is getting its act together, and it's definitely strengthening.

So the center is finally holding?

the Weather Desk's advisors (who actually do this stuff for a living) aren't weighing in on where they think Isaac will go specifically. As such, it's probably a good idea not to guess unless you're placing bets on its landfall.

I was reading Brendan Loy's stuff earlier and as of this morning the two major models actually flipped where landfall would be. I don't think anyone really has any idea.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD 2012 - Feel the burn! at August 26, 2012 04:36 PM (Gk3SS)

10 Moron- Duh. Thanks. I'll fix it.

Posted by: tmi3rd at August 26, 2012 04:37 PM (cxomr)

11 It's pretty!

Posted by: Cicero Kid at August 26, 2012 04:37 PM (kLSVj)

12 Is there ANYTHING this stuff can't do?? NATUREÂ’S ANTIDEPRESSANT: A controversial new study finds that women who regularly have unprotected sex are healthier, happier, and generally sleep better than women who donÂ’t. Â“Apparently, semen is rich in chemicals that help increase a partnerÂ’s happiness, mood, and even quality of sleep.Â”

Posted by: steevy at August 26, 2012 04:37 PM (6o4Fb)

13 It's also hauling ass. As you notice from the above graphic, it's moving west-northwest at 16 mph. That's absolutely flying for most hurricanes.

That's because we're using Weather Gun v2.0.

Posted by: Halliburton, Darth Cheney CEO at August 26, 2012 04:38 PM (d/5qf)

14 I miss Issac the bartender storm tracking.....

if we let them force us to not have a convention through media blackmail we've lost....

let the tents down and just call it off...

Posted by: sven10077 at August 26, 2012 04:39 PM (LRFds)

15 Typical! As Shakespeare said: 'A lot to do about nothing'.

Yes, Isaac is a strong storm; it is NOT life threatening; it is NOT another Katrina.

Lot's of rain; some fairly high winds (60-75 mph) which is orders of magnitude less than the wind velocities of a relatively insignificant tornado in the Midwest.

The MSM is creating a faux disaster story that simply doesn't exist. When have we heard THAT before?

Posted by: alwyr at August 26, 2012 04:39 PM (Oh5R1)

16 ATC- Mrs. tmi3rd's exact quote: "Don't even f***ing ask me where the hell this thing's going to make landfall. Anything I say's going to be epically wrong at this point."

Posted by: tmi3rd at August 26, 2012 04:39 PM (cxomr)

17 Knowledge, it be good. Where you find it? Among the moron horde.

Posted by: Billy Bob, the guy who drinks in SC at August 26, 2012 04:40 PM (3ZjAP)

18 Â“Story the Media WonÂ’t Tell: Obama Is Losing,Â” John Nolte writes at Big Journalism: Meanwhile, President FailureTeleprompter is relegated to rationalizing his lack of turnout into a Â“deliberateÂ” desire for smaller, more intimate crowds. Yeah, that sounds like the Mr. Greek Column weÂ’ve all come to know and grow tired of. Meanwhile, the media refuses to report on the size of either sideÂ’s crowds. Meanwhile, across the country, the documentary film Â“2016? has just opened wide on over 1,000 screens and in the heart of HollywoodÂ’s biggest season hit #3 at the box office. Meanwhile, though their Media Palace Guards assure us this is not the case, the Obama campaignÂ’s increasingly desperate and shrill campaign is acting more and more like a campaign so far behind and so in fear of losing, they feel they have nothing to lose. From Â“felonÂ” to Â“chainsÂ” to Â“Mitt killed my wifeÂ” to one bald-faced lie after another, President Obama has forsaken the dignity of the office and Â— should he win a second term Â— all hope of bringing the country together after the kind of scorched-earth campaign only the terrified wage. Meanwhile, the media is behaving in a manner no less shrill and desperate than their Presidential Master. When the unemployment rate increases, the media tells us thatÂ’s a good thing. When the economy shrinks from 4.1 to 1.5%, the media still call it Â“the recovery.Â” When an idiot in Missouri says something stupid about rape and abortion, the media launches into a week-long narrative accusing Republicans of being soft on rape. Meanwhile, Obama supports infanticide. Romney opposes abortion except in cases of rape, incest and when the motherÂ’s life is at risk. Yesterday CNN released a poll showing 62% of the American people agree with Romney and only 32% with Obama.

Posted by: steevy at August 26, 2012 04:40 PM (6o4Fb)

19 (Hangs head and sulks off...)

Posted by: New Orleans looter at August 26, 2012 04:40 PM (kLSVj)

20 ^^^Heh. (re: New Orleans looter)

Posted by: tmi3rd at August 26, 2012 04:41 PM (cxomr)

21 5 So can I don my hardhat with flashing safety light? You take yours off?!?

Posted by: s☺mej☼e at August 26, 2012 04:41 PM (HNn1q)

22 3
Hello Chocolate City!

Posted by: Hurricane Isaac at August 26, 2012 08:33 PM (3ZwoK)

Racist! Our 50 billion dollar dikes will stand up against anything, and dance after the storm.

Posted by: MSM Spin doctors at August 26, 2012 04:41 PM (3ZjAP)

23 Mrs. tmi3rd's exact quote: "Don't even f***ing ask me where the hell this thing's going to make landfall. Anything I say's going to be epically wrong at this point."

That's because she is as wise as she is lovely. I considered going into meteorology once and I always thought it would be very humbling to realize that you really don't know jack shit about what nature will do.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD 2012 - Feel the burn! at August 26, 2012 04:41 PM (Gk3SS)

24
A Monday breakfast with speakers such as New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie and Hewlett-Packard CEO Meg Whitman was moved to a new room inside the TradeWinds hotel on the water near Tampa.

"Goddammit! Who ate the last apple danish?"

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at August 26, 2012 04:41 PM (kdS6q)

25 In other words, rain and wind. Got it.

Posted by: mama winger in Paul Ryan's district at August 26, 2012 04:42 PM (P6QsQ)

26 We'll know tomorrow where it's going. I do look for it to jog East, seems they all do before land fall.

Posted by: CSMBigBird at August 26, 2012 04:42 PM (tRJ+w)

27 Alex, come visit sometime. I'll pass on your compliments to her. Okay, off to the draft.

Posted by: tmi3rd at August 26, 2012 04:42 PM (cxomr)

28 The high pressure ridge that is steering this storm to the west is becoming better organized and the huge western USA low pressure front seems to be sucking that thing right at Baytown, TX

Posted by: Beto at August 26, 2012 04:42 PM (BAnPT)

29 12 Is there ANYTHING this stuff can't do??

NATUREÂ’S ANTIDEPRESSANT: A controversial new study finds that women who regularly have unprotected sex are healthier, happier, and generally sleep better than women who donÂ’t. Â“Apparently, semen is rich in chemicals that help increase a partnerÂ’s happiness, mood, and even quality of sleep.Â”

Posted by: steevy at August 26, 2012 08:37 PM (6o4Fb)

And it clears up our complexion and makes us less bitchy, but you MUST swallow.

Posted by: Cosmo at August 26, 2012 04:43 PM (3ZjAP)

30 My office is closed tomorrow...whooo hoo!

Posted by: USS Diversity at August 26, 2012 04:43 PM (0CiTm)

31 Our 50 billion dollar dikes will stand up against anything, and dance after the storm.

Hello.

Posted by: Katie Couric and Hillary Clinton, party girls at August 26, 2012 04:44 PM (hO8IJ)

32 Well you wanted rain this is what you will get. It was sent to drown the protesters and now it will help the crops unless it is too late. This is why there is a drought no hurricane rain.

Posted by: I AM at August 26, 2012 04:44 PM (PNDql)

33 The GOP can party if they want to. It's heading toward the southern states. Mitt's good there. People there will understand and probably encourage a robust convention. Getting the POS in the WH out now takes precedent over any average storm. And fuck the MFM. If it wasn't a hurricane, they'd find something else.

Posted by: Soona at August 26, 2012 04:45 PM (IbUov)

34 It's a category 0.03125 (1/32)

Posted by: model_1066 at August 26, 2012 04:45 PM (yYKoR)

35 @31

That's what I am talking about girls, lets get it on! Clear up those pimples, swallow!

Posted by: Cosmo at August 26, 2012 04:45 PM (3ZjAP)

36 34 It's a category 0.03125 (1/32)

Posted by: model_1066 at August 26, 2012 08:45 PM (yYKoR)

So this is a Cherokee hurricane?

Posted by: Injuin Elizabeth at August 26, 2012 04:46 PM (3ZjAP)

37 And it clears up our complexion and makes us less bitchy, but you MUST swallow.

Best source of protein.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD 2012 - Feel the burn! at August 26, 2012 04:46 PM (Gk3SS)

38 Posted by: Injuin Elizabeth at August 26, 2012 08:46 PM (3ZjAP)

You tell me....it's your rain dance.

Posted by: model_1066 at August 26, 2012 04:47 PM (yYKoR)

39 oy oy oy

Posted by: bizarro fluffy at August 26, 2012 04:48 PM (2XMD1)

40 Hi AtC!!

Posted by: BCochran1981 at August 26, 2012 04:48 PM (GEICT)

41 It's also freshest when you get it straight from the tap. Not out of a condom.

Posted by: CSMBigBird at August 26, 2012 04:48 PM (tRJ+w)

42 so, forgive me for being rude to the S FL morons, but now that the danger has passed for me in Central FL(or so it seems), what would you suggest I do if I suspect a sinkhole is forming in my backyard?

Posted by: moron at August 26, 2012 04:49 PM (68nUO)

43 42, run like hell

Posted by: CSMBigBird at August 26, 2012 04:50 PM (tRJ+w)

44 So, are all the buses parked in New Orleans ?

Posted by: Ray Nagin at August 26, 2012 04:50 PM (e8kgV)

45 Just keep out of the damn gulf! Seems some tourist always tries to go for a swim and drowns. What a waste.

Posted by: Drewbicle at August 26, 2012 04:50 PM (YqP7s)

so, forgive me for being rude to the S FL morons, but now that the danger has passed for me in Central FL(or so it seems), what would you suggest I do if I suspect a sinkhole is forming in my backyard?

-----

don't park on it.

Posted by: USS Diversity at August 26, 2012 04:50 PM (0CiTm)

47 Chocolate City will be ready

Posted by: Ray Nagin at August 26, 2012 04:51 PM (e8kgV)

48 46

what if i hate my car?

Posted by: moron at August 26, 2012 04:51 PM (68nUO)

49 Chocolate City will be ready ... ready for more federal aid

Posted by: Ray Nagin at August 26, 2012 04:51 PM (e8kgV)

50 Hi AtC!!

*waves*

so, forgive me for being rude to the S FL morons, but now that the danger has passed for me in Central FL(or so it seems), what would you suggest I do if I suspect a sinkhole is forming in my backyard?

Nuke it from space. Just to be sure.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD 2012 - Feel the burn! at August 26, 2012 04:52 PM (Gk3SS)

51 Damned weathermen, I need details! Never mind, draw up a speech with blame for Bush if there's damage, and another crediting the stimulus if the storm fizzles and causes no damage. Away, monkeys; to the teleprompters!

Posted by: Lord Baraka at August 26, 2012 04:52 PM (FcR7P)

To all the wonderful AoS Women,

Being the compassionate and caring soul I am, I'll gladly share my "medicine" with you. Straight from the source...no added calories or artificial ingredients!

Just want to do my part to prove conservative men don't have a war on womenz.

Posted by: Icedog at August 26, 2012 04:53 PM (PTS+l)

53 Nuke it from space. Just to be sure. Using Moon Base Alpha? Or the satellite staging area?

Posted by: BCochran1981 at August 26, 2012 04:53 PM (GEICT)

54 Oh, and Tues. or Wed., the MFM will be firing up the Trachyon story again.

Posted by: Soona at August 26, 2012 04:53 PM (IbUov)

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD 2012 - Feel the burn! at August 26, 2012 08:41 PM (Gk3SS)

Taiwanese Weather Girls?

http://preview.tinyurl.com/8z5mqk6

Posted by: Cicero Kid at August 26, 2012 04:53 PM (kLSVj)

56 In the meantime, on Okinawa, our military are getting hit with a Cat 4 typhoon.

Our son is there right now. From A-Stan to shitstan.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at August 26, 2012 04:53 PM (UOM48)

57 what would you suggest I do if I suspect a sinkhole is forming in my backyard?

Move the bodies so they don't become exposed. That can lead to some embarrassing questions asked by the neighbors.

Posted by: chemjeff at August 26, 2012 04:53 PM (d/5qf)

So Tmi, not singing at the game tonight? I'd have figured you would.

Oh, and as usual, great post.

Posted by: HH at August 26, 2012 04:54 PM (v+ExF)

59 42 so, forgive me for being rude to the S FL morons, but now that the danger has passed for me in Central FL(or so it seems), what would you suggest I do if I suspect a sinkhole is forming in my backyard?

Posted by: moron at August 26, 2012 08:49 PM (68nUO)

Demand your FEMA money.

Posted by: model_1066 at August 26, 2012 04:55 PM (yYKoR)

60 A Monday breakfast with speakers such as New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie and Hewlett-Packard CEO Meg Whitman was moved to a new room inside the TradeWinds hotel on the water near Tampa. You're gonna need a bigger buffet...

Posted by: Roy Scheider at August 26, 2012 04:55 PM (FcR7P)

61 It appears my my hoping and changing has effectively weakened and steered this hurricane away from Tampa... you're welcome Republicans... and women of Florida... who should in now way every have to feel burdened by a baby thanks to my adamant abortion stance. Keep that in mind when you step in the voting booth on, uh... Sweetie, what day did you say the election was? November 2nd?

Posted by: Barack Obama at August 26, 2012 04:55 PM (zEPqG)

62 This ought to get rid of any of the remaining oil from the Macondo well

Posted by: BP at August 26, 2012 04:56 PM (e8kgV)

63 mainly carbs, in the form of fructose!!!!

Oh, I gotta remember that.

Posted by: HeatherRadish™ at August 26, 2012 04:56 PM (hO8IJ)

64 Taiwanese Weather Girls?

Why do I see tentacles in their future?

Using Moon Base Alpha? Or the satellite staging area?

Both, since we're wanting to be sure.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD 2012 - Feel the burn! at August 26, 2012 04:56 PM (Gk3SS)

65 I'm going to put up my E and NE facing shutters tomorrow, more for flying debris defense than anything. Have food, fuel, and the strategic alcohol reserve, so I'll have a bit of fun.

Posted by: TheSev at August 26, 2012 04:57 PM (iHeMr)

66 If it relieves the drought in Arkansas and Missouri will Akin and Huckabee take credit for it?

Posted by: NC Mountain Girl at August 26, 2012 04:57 PM (RF21y)

67 Why do I see tentacles in their future?

Tropical Storm Hentai is about to make landfall on Vagina Island!

Posted by: Taiwanese Weather Girl at August 26, 2012 04:58 PM (d/5qf)

68 what would you suggest I do if I suspect a sinkhole is forming in my backyard?

Is it big enough for a lime pit?

No, no reason I ask.

Posted by: HeatherRadish™ at August 26, 2012 04:58 PM (hO8IJ)

69 61 A Monday breakfast with speakers such as New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie and Hewlett-Packard CEO Meg Whitman was moved to a new room inside the TradeWinds hotel on the water near Tampa.

You're gonna need a bigger buffet...

Posted by: Roy Scheider at August 26, 2012 08:55 PM (FcR7P)

more like a standard sized trough, filled with greasy eggs and meat. toast on the side.

Posted by: model_1066 at August 26, 2012 04:58 PM (yYKoR)

70 Using Moon Base Alpha? Or the satellite staging area? Both, since we're wanting to be sure. Gotcha. *scratches head* Now where did I put those darn command codes?

Posted by: BCochran1981 at August 26, 2012 04:58 PM (GEICT)

"not mostly protein! mainly carbs, in the form of fructose!!!!"

...but performs absolutely shitty as a coffee sweetner.

Posted by: Icedog at August 26, 2012 04:59 PM (PTS+l)

72 Could be a sinkhole,could be mole people,in either case it's best to run.

Posted by: steevy at August 26, 2012 05:00 PM (6o4Fb)

73 Yeah, we could have used that up here in Dallas.......

Posted by: DangerGirl at August 26, 2012 05:00 PM (GrtrJ)

74 69 what would you suggest I do if I suspect a sinkhole is forming in my backyard? Tell Michael Moore to stop jumping on your trampoline?

Posted by: BCochran1981 at August 26, 2012 05:01 PM (GEICT)

75 First we scared off Hurricane Biden Now we scared off Hurricane Isaac Fuck we're badass! Suck it Dems!!

Posted by: GOP Badass at August 26, 2012 05:02 PM (zEPqG)

76 70 If it was Christie AND Huckabee,you best watch your hands.

Posted by: steevy at August 26, 2012 05:02 PM (6o4Fb)

77 If Michael Moore tried with all his might, he couldn't break his own gravity well.

Posted by: TheSev at August 26, 2012 05:02 PM (iHeMr)

78 Jane, as Morrison said; the future uncertain and the end is always near.

Look on the bright side; at least he doesn't have to worry about the Japanese Police shooting him in the back.

Posted by: Hylozoic at August 26, 2012 05:02 PM (Vh0f5)

79 In a bizarrely low-key press conference that seemed more focused on calming residentsÂ’ Â“anxietyÂ” and vaguely telling them to Â“be preparedÂ” (and then making of a series of mundane announcements about municipal matters like trash collection and parking restrictions) than on advising them to take specific, concrete steps commensurate to the risk of a possibly major hurricane potentially making a direct hit on AmericaÂ’s most hurricane-vulnerable city starting in about 48 hours, New Orleans Mayor Mitch Landrieu did his best Ray Nagin impression Sunday, announcing a no-evacuation, Â“shelter in placeÂ” plan that suggests a stunning level of confidence that a worst-case scenario wonÂ’t happen, at a time when it remains, meteorologically speaking, very much in play.

You can see that he has learned from the best mayor Chocolate City ever had.

Posted by: Ray Nagin at August 26, 2012 05:02 PM (e8kgV)

80 1. Call the county agent. He should have connections to the right people to look at it and tell you what it is. If not him, the Sheriff's office. 2. Call U-Haul 3. Pack.

Posted by: Fox 2! at August 26, 2012 05:03 PM (RJOgX)

81 Someone pointed out earlier today that they are giving a range of hundreds of miles for where a storm will make landfall three days from now, but we're supposed to believe them absolutely about glowball warming.

Posted by: Retread at August 26, 2012 05:03 PM (zxitI)

82 thanks for the laughs, guys.

but really, a portion of my backyard is sinking. the first few years it was only about 4 inches, but in the last few months it has become about 18. I really hope it swallows the house(when Im not in it) because i want to move far away anyway, and this place ain't sellin' anytime soon. I'll let y'all know if it opens up enough for evidence disposal.

Posted by: moron at August 26, 2012 05:04 PM (68nUO)

83 81 1. Call the county agent. He should have connections to the right people to look at it and tell you what it is. If not him, the Sheriff's office. 2. Call U-Haul 3. Pack. That is thoughtful, reasoned, entirely helpful advice. You are hereby banned from the Horde. We don't take kindly to that shit.

Posted by: BCochran1981 at August 26, 2012 05:06 PM (GEICT)

84 #75 I gave up trampoline jumping 60 pounds ago... it got too difficult to pull myself up onto the trampoline. I think the right wing hate machine had something to do with it and I'm documenting my finding for my new movie titled "How the GOP Turned Me Into a Fat Fucking Shitstorm of Douchbaggery" due out next August.

Posted by: Michael Moore at August 26, 2012 05:06 PM (zEPqG)

but really, a portion of my backyard is sinking. the first few years it was only about 4 inches, but in the last few months it has become about 18. I really hope it swallows the house(when Im not in it) because i want to move far away anyway, and this place ain't sellin' anytime soon. I'll let y'all know if it opens up enough for evidence disposal.

------

I know the feeling.

Posted by: USS Diversity at August 26, 2012 05:06 PM (0CiTm)

When I first heard about this hurricane, I thought "Oh no, maybe God is not on our side", but then I realized this storm is passing just close enough to produce some pretty miserable outdoor conditions (enough to dissuade fair-weather OWS types, aka: hippies, crackheads, welfare bums, etc), but not a show-stopper.

Praying for nice outdoor weather for the DNC Convention.

Posted by: Icedog at August 26, 2012 05:06 PM (PTS+l)

87 One congressman wonÂ’t be able to attend the Republican National Convention after taking a nasty fall that required surgery. Rep. Jim Sensenbrenner (R-Wis.) was greeting constituents at a community event in Butler, Wis., yesterday when he Â“caught his foot on wires, tripped, and fell,Â” according to a statement from his office. The 69-year-old congressman suffered two bone fractures, one near his elbow and another at the hip socket. He underwent orthopaedic hip surgery today.

Posted by: steevy at August 26, 2012 05:06 PM (6o4Fb)

would you suggest I do if I suspect a sinkhole is forming in my backyard?

Ask for a reassesment. You gonna own less land, right?

Posted by: Cicero Kid at August 26, 2012 05:06 PM (kLSVj)

89 16mph? Hell, I was doing 60mph when I hit Long Island.

Posted by: TheYankeeClipper of 1938 at August 26, 2012 05:06 PM (UGxsK)

90 42
so, forgive me for being rude to the S FL morons, but now that the
danger has passed for me in Central FL(or so it seems), what would you
suggest I do if I suspect a sinkhole is forming in my backyard?

Contact the county. They should have engineers who can check it out. In the mean time it might be a good idea to find somewhere else to sleep.

Posted by: rabidfox at August 26, 2012 05:07 PM (mp4Ww)

91 maria molina says its slowing down, and i would listen to anything she says, anything.

Posted by: trailortrash at August 26, 2012 05:07 PM (xllDV)

92 I don't give a fuck where it makes landfall, I just want it to make a nice leisurely curve NE'wards through the Ohio Valley.

Posted by: ErikW at August 26, 2012 05:07 PM (JS2gh)

93 Fur fucksake, Mobile just ordered evac in my neighborhood and closed the schools.

Posted by: CSMBigBird at August 26, 2012 05:08 PM (tRJ+w)

94 Apropos of awesome, Galaxy Quest is on - "Let's get out of here before one of those things kills Guy!"

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD 2012 - Feel the burn! at August 26, 2012 05:08 PM (Gk3SS)

95 #83 However if you'll rent a crane and pay the nominal appearance fee I'm not opposed to jumping on a trampoline. Keep in mind that because my jumping could sink me into the thresholds of hell I will be requiring hazard pay.

Posted by: Michael Moore at August 26, 2012 05:08 PM (zEPqG)

96 OT/this convention season, I really miss Breitbart. I can imagine him blastin stupid questions from reporters about the pubs having their convention anyway. I can imagine him him Charlotte challenging the OWS/anarchist crowd, shouting "behave!" and "stop raping people!". He was awesome. We need him.

Posted by: thunderb at August 26, 2012 05:09 PM (Dnbau)

"I gave up trampoline jumping 60 pounds ago.."

Good lord, you were still doing that at 320 lbs?

Man, that is one hell of a trampoline...

Posted by: HH at August 26, 2012 05:09 PM (v+ExF)

98 OT

Anyone seen the Allen West Crap Sammich clip?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x8LT7KsM0Yg&feature=player_embedded

My shortener wont work on youtube.

Posted by: sTevo at August 26, 2012 05:10 PM (VMcEw)

99 84. You are absolutely correct. I forgot where I was. I abase myself and beg forgiveness of the Horde.

Posted by: Fox 2! at August 26, 2012 05:10 PM (RJOgX)

100 96 Apropos of awesome, Galaxy Quest is on - "Let's get out of here before one of those things kills Guy!" I know this will bring the wrath of the Horde, but I've never seen that movie.

Posted by: BCochran1981 at August 26, 2012 05:10 PM (GEICT)

101
Rep. Michele Bachmann tied religion into comments about Florida's severe weather, saying Sunday at a prayer rally that there's "a spiritual hurricane in our land."

"At this moment in time we're quite literally looking at a hurricane here in Florida. We're looking at a political hurricane in this country. We are looking at a spiritual hurricane in our land. And it is time for each one of us to show up and suit up and stand up and realize that in this time and in this day we pour it out for Him," said Bachmann, a tea party activist, at the event organized by the Florida Family Policy Council.

*face palm*

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at August 26, 2012 05:11 PM (kdS6q)

102 I know this will bring the wrath of the Horde, but I've never seen that movie.

Dead. To. Me.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD 2012 - Feel the burn! at August 26, 2012 05:11 PM (Gk3SS)

103 94 JR,

1) unless I miss my guess oral favors are not involved in reproduction....properly applied baby batter to that issue could taste like mercury fulminate and they wouldn't notice.

2)Right because God knows I always trust the notion that when a field explains to me that the reason they are so bad at short term accuracy in "one of the most complex and dynamically variable datafields available is hard" I implicitly entrust their precision on a global scale on a time like that is wildly geometrically more complex and interlocking.

"absolutely"

Posted by: sven10077 at August 26, 2012 05:11 PM (LRFds)

104 And the County Engineer is probably your best bet. I forgot about him. (Scurries and hides from the wrath of the Horde for providing useful information)

Posted by: Fox 2! at August 26, 2012 05:12 PM (RJOgX)

105 INDIANAPOLIS (AP) Â— An American-born Taliban fighter imprisoned in Indiana will try to convince a federal judge that his religious freedom trumps security concerns in a closely watched trial that will examine how far prisons can go to ensure security in the age of terrorism. John Walker Lindh was expected to testify Monday in Indianapolis during the first day of the trial over prayer policies in a tightly restricted prison unit where he and other high-risk inmates have severely limited contact with the outside world. Lindh, 31, a Muslim convert who was charged with supporting terrorists after he was captured by U.S. troops in Afghanistan and later pleaded guilty to lesser charges, claims his religious rights are being violated because the federal prison in Terre Haute, Indiana, deprives him of daily group prayer.

Posted by: steevy at August 26, 2012 05:12 PM (6o4Fb)

106 104 AtC,

could be worse I could look like Barry Manilow or Babs Streisand I used to have nightmares about them doing a prono

Posted by: sven10077 at August 26, 2012 05:12 PM (LRFds)

107 43 42, run like hell
Posted by: CSMBigBird

Really good advice.

Posted by: Dianna at August 26, 2012 05:13 PM (mKMj1)

108

@70

"I'm sorry Gov. Christie, but it's ham, bacon OR sausage -- not ham, bacon AND sausage..."

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at August 26, 2012 05:13 PM (kdS6q)

109 101 84. You are absolutely correct. I forgot where I was. I abase myself and beg forgiveness of the Horde. Pictures of the Kate, or other suitable hottie, would go a long way...

Posted by: BCochran1981 at August 26, 2012 05:13 PM (GEICT)

110 I know this will bring the wrath of the Horde, but I've never seen that movie. Posted by: BCochran1981

Un

Accept

Able

Posted by: weft cut-loop [/i] [/b] at August 26, 2012 05:14 PM (Q/1Jp)

111 107 Steevy,

ah yes Johnny bin Walker....

Chonny is gut poy, gut poy

Posted by: sven10077 at August 26, 2012 05:14 PM (LRFds)

112

Moron, I doubt if that's a real sinkhole. Most of them come in the spring when the sandy soil is relatively dry. Another thing, your walls will crack.

Still, it doesn't hurt to have someone who knows about these things check it out. Preferably for free.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy at August 26, 2012 05:14 PM (d0Tfm)

113 Nuke it from space. Just to be sure.
Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD 2012 - Feel the burn!

Oh, come, now. LEO works fine; I haven't noticed that you need serious stand-off distance for low-yield devices.

Posted by: Dianna at August 26, 2012 05:15 PM (mKMj1)

114 #107 - so Muslims can only pray in a group? What is it - some kind of consensus approach to religion?

Posted by: rabidfox at August 26, 2012 05:15 PM (mp4Ww)

115 103 What's wrong with what she said,considering the venue??

Posted by: steevy at August 26, 2012 05:15 PM (6o4Fb)

116 Dead. To. Me. Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD 2012 - Feel the burn! at August 26, 2012 09:11 PM (Gk3SS) *hangs head*

Posted by: BCochran1981 at August 26, 2012 05:15 PM (GEICT)

117 FYI: I for one am willing to donate to the 'Michael Moore rides a trampoline through a sinkhole to hell' fund.

Posted by: GOP Badass at August 26, 2012 05:16 PM (zEPqG)

118 could be worse I could look like Barry Manilow or Babs Streisand I used to have nightmares about them doing a prono

arrrrrrrggggggghhhhhhhhhh

I shall have to go ummm study better parts of the Bible to get that image out of my head.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD 2012 - Feel the burn! at August 26, 2012 05:17 PM (Gk3SS)

119 Mitch Landrieu is a lightweight

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vIRQf0S3oD0

Posted by: Ray Nagin at August 26, 2012 05:18 PM (e8kgV)

120

The Aporkalypse is nigh.

Posted by: Sportsman's Channel at August 26, 2012 05:18 PM (W/xIW)

121 Posted by: steevy at August 26, 2012 09:12 PM

I hadn't realized that shitstain was just down the road from me.

Now I'm agitated.

Posted by: HeatherRadish™ at August 26, 2012 05:18 PM (hO8IJ)

122 120 AtC,

that can work, so can getting so drunk you taste your brain....

ah the '70s thank God I barely knew thee

Posted by: sven10077 at August 26, 2012 05:19 PM (LRFds)

123 he can have his little prayer group. In the showers. Naked. Several times a day

Posted by: thunderb at August 26, 2012 05:19 PM (Dnbau)

124

Posted by: GOP Badass at August 26, 2012 09:16 PM (zEPqG)

Problem is, with his weight, he could sink down to the earths' mantle and set off a super volcano.

Posted by: HH at August 26, 2012 05:20 PM (v+ExF)

125

Posted by: HeatherRadishÂ™ at August 26, 2012 09:18 PM (hO8IJ)

Right. Sorry, your like pretty close to him! I thought he was in Gitmo?

Posted by: Cicero Kid at August 26, 2012 05:20 PM (kLSVj)

126 would you suggest I do if I suspect a sinkhole is forming in my backyard? I presume you have already determined it's not a septic tank caving in.

Posted by: toby928© at August 26, 2012 05:20 PM (QupBk)

127 The Cockholster In Chief sent a Tweet regarding the death of Neil Armstrong.

It included a picture of Obama looking at the moon.

...

What comes after "contempt?"

Posted by: weft cut-loop [/i] [/b] at August 26, 2012 05:21 PM (Q/1Jp)

128 @15
No, Isaac is not a Katrina but Isaac is scheduled to make landfall at Cat 2 strength. Remember, Katrina made landfall as "only" a Cat 3 storm and look at the damage that she did. Never take these things lightly.

My motto:

Get out early and get out often.

Posted by: TheOtherJay at August 26, 2012 05:22 PM (nojhZ)

129 Hype and Chains!!

Posted by: ROIGuy at August 26, 2012 05:22 PM (7YnaR)

130 I thought he was in Gitmo?

I thought he was in California.

I don't know why I'd think that. Do they have federal prisons there?

Posted by: HeatherRadish™ at August 26, 2012 05:22 PM (hO8IJ)

131 What comes after "contempt?" Retirement...

Posted by: BCochran1981 at August 26, 2012 05:22 PM (GEICT)

132 @ 103, That's not too far off the mark if one is an evangelical Christianist terrorist operative like me.

Posted by: ErikW at August 26, 2012 05:23 PM (JS2gh)

133 119

I'll accept a payment enough to cover my cost and loss of the property, then the hole is yours, along with any other profits. Enjoy! Um the whole opening up a portal to hell is on you too though. It's not me, my lawyer insisted. Honest.

Posted by: moron at August 26, 2012 05:23 PM (68nUO)

134 he's from california. Perhaps we can put him in the sink hole during the storm. Would that be wrong?

Posted by: thunderb at August 26, 2012 05:23 PM (Dnbau)

135 If you have a Hell Mouth in your yard, there's not a lot you can do about it except Feature It!

Posted by: toby928© at August 26, 2012 05:24 PM (QupBk)

136 128
you would be correct.

Posted by: moron at August 26, 2012 05:24 PM (68nUO)

137 Um the whole opening up a portal to hell is on you too though

A portal to Hell you say? *taps chin*

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD 2012 - Feel the burn! at August 26, 2012 05:25 PM (Gk3SS)

138 Johnny Taliban shouldn't be in prison of course,he was caught weapon in hand not once but twice.He should be in the ground.

Posted by: steevy at August 26, 2012 05:25 PM (6o4Fb)

139 We say the Lord's Prayer before we assassinate some muslim pos.

Posted by: ErikW at August 26, 2012 05:25 PM (JS2gh)

140

Posted by: steevy at August 26, 2012 09:12 PM (6o4Fb)

Oh Ok SLAP!!! STFD & STFU ASSHOLE!!!!

Posted by: Vinnie Next Case Your Honor Spataro from Jersey at August 26, 2012 05:25 PM (Bm4aK)

141 130 Sheesh. When you live below sea level in hurricane alley, what to you expect?

Posted by: Infidel at August 26, 2012 05:25 PM (g7aoF)

142 Hrm. You don't need to go buy lime if you have a portal to Hell.

Posted by: HeatherRadish™ at August 26, 2012 05:26 PM (hO8IJ)

143 Son is in Tampa, drinking on beach. Nothing! BUT, just wait till those poor souls in NO get rained on!

Headlines!

Posted by: Billy Bob, pseudo-intellectual at August 26, 2012 05:26 PM (3ZjAP)

144

This just in- Mainstream media releases aerial footage of Hurricane Isaac as viewed through their political prism! The speed of rotation is variable and the path of destruction is uncertain, but it is what it is.

http://tinyurl.com/9zfoo4b

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at August 26, 2012 05:26 PM (hgSh3)

145

117 103 Steevy, I'm with you, didn't see anything to nuts there...especially by today's gaff-a-minute politicians.

...and she correcty used the word "literally"....one of my pet peeves.

Joe Biden....Â“Before we arrived in the West Wing, Mr. Boehner and the Republican Party ran the economy literally into the ground.Â”

Literally. You remember in 2008, when all Americans had to work underground like mole people...

Posted by: Icedog at August 26, 2012 05:26 PM (PTS+l)

146

whole opening up a portal to hell

What if that bastard Kennedy climbs out and runs for a Senate seat again. I say fill the hole.

Posted by: Ronster at August 26, 2012 05:27 PM (d/8+y)

147 Isn't "muslim POS" redundant?

Posted by: CMU VET at August 26, 2012 05:27 PM (dPSpR)

148 Literally. You remember in 2008, when all Americans had to work underground like mole people.

That would explain the incipient Hell portal.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD 2012 - Feel the burn! at August 26, 2012 05:28 PM (Gk3SS)

149 141 We say the Lord's Prayer before we assassinate some muslim pos.

Posted by: ErikW at August 26, 2012 09:25 PM (JS2gh)

Why? Just shoot them. Or better yet cut their heads off with a rusty knife, slowly.

Posted by: Billy Bob, pseudo-intellectual at August 26, 2012 05:28 PM (3ZjAP)

150

Son is in Tampa, drinking on beach. Nothing! BUT, just wait till those poor souls in NO get rained on!

----

Tell him to check out Cigar City Brewing, near the stadium. Cool place, good beer.

Posted by: USS Diversity at August 26, 2012 05:28 PM (0CiTm)

151 if its a portal to hell, shouldn't Huck go there to do battle and all?

Posted by: thunderb at August 26, 2012 05:28 PM (Dnbau)

152 Johnny Taliban shouldn't be in prison of course,he was caught weapon in hand not once but twice.He should be in the ground.

Instead of leaving him hanging from the gibbet for a few weeks as a warning to others? You big softie.

Posted by: HeatherRadish™ at August 26, 2012 05:29 PM (hO8IJ)

153 @153

Thanks will pass that on. He is staying with prep school classmate, so he is sort of caught, convention shit, and friend shit.

I hate is sorry ass.

Posted by: Billy Bob, pseudo-intellectual at August 26, 2012 05:31 PM (3ZjAP)

154 144 JR,

no I deadpanned it, I assure you.

They cheat the data so brazenly it beggars the imagination and their margin of error versus wild eyed predictions have been so off the mark were this space travel the Mars shot would have landed in the sun....

I do tax planning when I am up to date on tax law, and the AGW cult expects me to believe that their magic cookie dough gets more accurate the further they project...

right like I can tell you with precision how much your estate will owe in taxes in 2050 than next year....

it's ludicrous the data "AGW" purports to "grace us" with is useless....

and oddly enough has had to have massive structural revisions going back 70 years cast upwards to "maintain the narrative".....

It'd be like forecasting the hurricane stormtrack with a dart and booze and a rocking chair....

Posted by: sven10077 at August 26, 2012 05:31 PM (LRFds)

155 This time they cannot come to Phoenix!

Posted by: Joe,union boy, Biden at August 26, 2012 05:31 PM (CZrbJ)

156

alexthechick, I think you may be on to something!

Yet another mystery solved by those damn meddling AoS kids....

Posted by: Icedog at August 26, 2012 05:31 PM (PTS+l)

157 155 I have no idea how American troops took him alive not once but twice.

Posted by: steevy at August 26, 2012 05:31 PM (6o4Fb)

158 god damm sock!!!

Posted by: Killerdog at August 26, 2012 05:32 PM (CZrbJ)

159 96 Apropos of awesome, Galaxy Quest is on - "Let's get out of here before one of those things kills Guy!"

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD 2012 - Feel the burn! at August 26, 2012 09:08 PM (Gk3SS)

Proper courtesy is to at least give the channel it is on you know

Posted by: buzzion at August 26, 2012 05:32 PM (GULKT)

160 145 HR,

I have a portal to hell.....

it's called I-65 northbound

Posted by: sven10077 at August 26, 2012 05:32 PM (LRFds)

161 I'm in Issac's path and the hell if I'm sticking around. If by Monday afternoon it becomes a definate that it hits near here, I'm getting out. I don't think it will be another Katrina, I just expect to lose power for a few days while Entergy fixes things. I don't need to be stuck in a hot ass house with a three year old.

Posted by: Pechon at August 26, 2012 05:32 PM (e14FT)

162 164 Pechon,

Just keep your eyes on your elevation versus waterflow....

good luck be safe

Posted by: sven10077 at August 26, 2012 05:34 PM (LRFds)

163 148. LOL. "literally" That's one of my pet peeves too.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at August 26, 2012 05:34 PM (wp9Wo)

164 Alextc, if tmi3rd talks you into a visit and I don't hear about it I'll be severely disappointed. Same neck of the woods you see.

Posted by: teej at August 26, 2012 05:35 PM (QbKVX)

165 In the meantime, on Okinawa, our military are getting hit with a Cat 4 typhoon.

My younger sister was stationed on Okinawa during a major typhoon (I think Cat 3 or 4). I was told everyone there got epically drunk and attached makeshift sails to wheeled office chairs and "windsurfed" down the runway. (This was in the 90s prior to camera phones, so AFAIK no YouTubes exist of this).

Posted by: Ian S. at August 26, 2012 05:35 PM (rPA5/)

166 Proper courtesy is to at least give the channel it is on you know

Thriller Max

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD 2012 - Feel the burn! at August 26, 2012 05:36 PM (Gk3SS)

167 Speaking for the Midwest, anything that might dump some precipitation is a good thing.

Posted by: nickless at August 26, 2012 05:37 PM (MMC8r)

168 http://tinyurl.com/9mwhxyo

and the Timothy Treadwell Memorial Darwin Award goes to.....

A hiker in Alaska's Denali National Park photographed a grizzly bear for at least eight minutes before the bear mauled and killed him in the first fatal attack in the park's history, officials said Saturday.

Investigators have recovered the camera and looked at the photographs, which show the bear grazing and not acting aggressively before the attack, Denali Park Superintendent Paul Anderson said.

The hiker was identified late Saturday as Richard White, 49, of San Diego. He was backpacking alone along the Toklat River on Friday afternoon when he came within 50 yards of the bear, far closer than the quarter-mile of separation required by park rules, officials said.

God work bud....

no seriously awesome....you do get that Denali is not Kitmai and that if you don't know the area it is best to back away yes?

Posted by: sven10077 at August 26, 2012 05:37 PM (LRFds)

169 worst part is they killed the bear.

Posted by: Hanoverfist at August 26, 2012 05:38 PM (HiKk0)

170 God work bud.... no seriously awesome....you do get that Denali is not Kitmai and that if you don't know the area it is best to back away yes? Posted by: sven10077 at August 26, 2012 09:37 PM (LRFds) He disregarded specific training to retreat from bears on contact. They later found the bear, tortured a confession out of it, and killed it.

Posted by: eman at August 26, 2012 05:39 PM (Wp4rQ)

171

it's ludicrous the data "AGW" purports to "grace us" with is useless....

I have some questions that work like a charm to make anyone who's dumb enough to believe AGW feel like an idiot.

What will the daytime temperature be three weeks from today? You can't say? Why is that? If you can't predict that only three weeks from now, how are you able to predict the temperature in twenty years?

And...

If, as you say, the Earth too warm, then what is the ideal world temperature supposed to be?

Much fun can be had. No one expects the Meteorological Inquisition.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy at August 26, 2012 05:39 PM (d0Tfm)

172 Dude needed a zoom lens. 50 yards, maybe if I was looking through a scope.

Posted by: CSMBigBird at August 26, 2012 05:40 PM (tRJ+w)

173 I have a portal to hell.....

it's called I-65 northbound

I laughed, but it was more like a grimace.

Posted by: HeatherRadish™ at August 26, 2012 05:40 PM (hO8IJ)

174 thank you atc. I don't get that channel so thus I shall just be jealous of your good fortune

Posted by: buzzion at August 26, 2012 05:41 PM (OvEoG)

175
I'm in Issac's path and the hell if I'm sticking around. If by Monday afternoon it becomes a definate that it hits near here, I'm getting out.
Posted by: Pechon

BRB - looting ur house

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at August 26, 2012 05:41 PM (kdS6q)

176 @ CMU VET, yeah but it's worth the price of admittance to point it out.

Posted by: ErikW at August 26, 2012 05:41 PM (JS2gh)

177 Haha. That's why they call it the Darwin Award. The stupid is strong.

Posted by: Infidel at August 26, 2012 05:41 PM (g7aoF)

178 So Isaac's turning out to be wimpy? Well, I don't give a damn. I'll find some raped babies even if I have to rape'em myself.

Posted by: Shemp Smith at August 26, 2012 05:41 PM (IoNBC)

179

worst part is they killed the bear.

------

I know. That's bullshit.

Posted by: USS Diversity at August 26, 2012 05:42 PM (0CiTm)

180 17 mins to the Aporkalypse.

Posted by: Sportsman Channel at August 26, 2012 05:42 PM (M8oFW)

181

Never hike alone in grizzer bear country.

And always choose a slower companion....

Posted by: Cicero Kid at August 26, 2012 05:44 PM (kLSVj)

182 172 Hanoverfist,

they had to, you can't let it get the notion we're a good source of larder and teach the other bears through habituation "yummy"....

it breaks my heart too...

dumbass Californians trying to get their Disney on.

I was taught at 5 to "back away" "they are not your dog Beaucanine"....

I have seen wolverines within a 1/4 mile, I have seen grizzlys at a 1/4-1/3d a mile....

I have NO sympathy for the idiots who want to try to do a live action movie with a bear....

I don't want "Mr FairyBottom" in my house and I am always aware I am a guest in theirs.

Posted by: sven10077 at August 26, 2012 05:44 PM (LRFds)

183 I don't get that channel so thus I shall just be jealous of your good fortune

By Grabthar's hammer, by the suns of Warvan, I am just that much better.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD 2012 - Feel the burn! at August 26, 2012 05:44 PM (Gk3SS)

184 HUGE DROPLETS OF HORROR WATER FALLING FROM THE SKY!!! Oh, the humanity!!!

Posted by: Shemp Smith at August 26, 2012 05:46 PM (IoNBC)

185 171 A co-worker asked me the difference between a Black Bear and a Grizzly Bear
If confronted by a charging bear, climb the tallest tree available
If the bear climbs the tree and kills you, it's a Black Bear
If the bear tears the tree down and kills you, it's a Grizzly

Posted by: Beto at August 26, 2012 05:46 PM (BAnPT)

186 189, lol. That's what I was told to.

Posted by: CSMBigBird at August 26, 2012 05:47 PM (tRJ+w)

187 Shepard's toupee blew off during Katrina

Posted by: phoenixgirl, team dagny at August 26, 2012 05:48 PM (Ho2rs)

188 Isaac, what's the frequency?

Posted by: Dan Rather at August 26, 2012 05:48 PM (IoNBC)

189 The pig lizard is not Gorignak?

Posted by: Cicero Kid at August 26, 2012 05:48 PM (kLSVj)

190 The local country FM station is rocking Kid Rock. I swear to effing Jesus... Okay wait, the DJ just trashed the song, there's hope yet.

Posted by: ErikW at August 26, 2012 05:49 PM (JS2gh)

191 Hiking in Alaska we came around a turn in the trail and found ourselves between a mama black and her two cubs. I just turned around and ran like hell. I only had to be faster than my buddy, who's a large fat guy. It was like Curly and Moe getting out of there.

Posted by: USS Diversity at August 26, 2012 05:49 PM (0CiTm)

192 I'm sure there's no possibility that the overhyping and comparison to Katrina is so that when it turns out not to be that big a deal the media can then report on how much smoother O's response to this new Katrina was compared to Ws original. No chance at all.

Posted by: somebody else, not me at August 26, 2012 05:49 PM (nZvGM)

193 Dude needed a zoom lens. 50 yards, maybe if I was looking through a scope.

Posted by: CSMBigBird at August 26, 2012 09:40 PM (tRJ+w)

And only if the size of the tube underneath starts with .3 or greater

Posted by: Beto at August 26, 2012 05:50 PM (BAnPT)

194

"and the Timothy Treadwell Memorial Darwin Award goes to....."

I laughed when I saw "Grizzly Man." I am a bad person.

(I did feel bad for his girlfriend though.)

Posted by: Donna V. at August 26, 2012 05:50 PM (EflcN)

195 Had 38" of water in my house during Katrina. Don't want to go thru that again. Was luckier than most. Some people I knew drowned, others lost everything. I am 300 yards from the MS. sound at 12' 6" elevation. We do not need another 500 year storm.

Posted by: Hammer at August 26, 2012 05:51 PM (5buGz)

196 189 Beto,

Yeah about...

people don't get it that on a case by case basis Black Bears are deadlier IF THEY go aggressive but getting them aggressive is harder to do....

the Grizzlies....dude they can smell you two miles off if the wind is right, their hearing is better than ours, their eyes track motion differently than ours do, they sprint at 35mph, they are not like gators you are not going to outlateral 'em either....

LEAVE THEM BE they used to kill mastadons they think....

PUT THE BEARS DOWN and walk away....

I love them and I am PROUD we as a nation take care of our wildlife on fallow land but it is like Cali and the cougars....

yeah guess what leaving junkfood out in the open and having an anti-gun fetish and laws that prosecute you if you kill one means "the animal wins"....

Posted by: sven10077 at August 26, 2012 05:51 PM (LRFds)

197 Fancy storm there. But certainly looks like nothing to worry about. I kind of felt bad for the Fox anchors down in Tampa who were reduced to reporting on such things as which musical acts had been booked at local night life venues during the hurricane. Not that bad though. They're still employed.

Posted by: Truman North, iPhone doofus at August 26, 2012 05:52 PM (I2LwF)

198 Predicting long-term and wide-spread climate changes is just as difficult as predicting the weather. We must rely entirely on historical data which from one perspective can grant certainty in the plus or minus 10000 year scale or from another perspective plus or minus several million year scale. According to the geologic record we are due for the return of the glaciers. On the other hand the recent series of glaciations and retreats is only about 3 to 5 million years old. That ain't much out of 4.5 billion. So, what perspective should we use? Are the ice cycles still operating or is the Earth going to be hot and humid nearly everywhere like it was eons ago. We have zero ability to predict the climate. Zero.

Posted by: eman at August 26, 2012 05:52 PM (Wp4rQ)

199 worst part is they killed the bear.
------
I know. That's bullshit.

Posted by: USS Diversity at August 26, 2012 09:42 PM (0CiTm)

Once they've tasted dumbass they wont want anything else

Posted by: Beto at August 26, 2012 05:53 PM (BAnPT)

200

"In the meantime, on Okinawa, our military are getting hit with a Cat 4 typhoon."

The good thing, is the houses and buildings in Okinawa (same in Guam), are built for typhoons...they get hit by typhoons every year.

Florida homes and buildings....not so much.

Posted by: Icedog at August 26, 2012 05:53 PM (PTS+l)

201 198 DonnaV.

Nah don't it has gotten me out of many, many a dark place or bad spot....

I watch that film and by the end I realize....well it could be worse and I am not that fucking retarded....

Posted by: sven10077 at August 26, 2012 05:53 PM (LRFds)

202 Once they've tasted dumbass they wont want anything else

You know it!

Posted by: Reggie Love at August 26, 2012 05:54 PM (hO8IJ)

203 Dear Isaac: Please get your ass in gear and head west. I'm gonna need to to make landfall somewhere between Corpus Christi and Laredo. There's not a whole lot there, so any negative effects are mitigated as there aint nofuckingbody there to to care; any the Texas Hill Country gets a drink. That's win-fucking-win. PS. Linger a bit over the Edwards Aquifer recharge zone, so the blind salamanders that escaped a little girl's room in the 50's can have a party; and I'll hook you up with La Nina. That babe will treat you right.

Posted by: Tex McThirsty at August 26, 2012 05:54 PM (mxnUd)

204 If you want a hurricane to really blow name it Elton

Posted by: Cricket at August 26, 2012 05:55 PM (2ArJQ)

205 Canned goods--check. Doughnuts--check. Candles--check. Dildoe--check. Gross of fresh D-cells--check.

Posted by: Roseanne Barr at August 26, 2012 05:55 PM (IoNBC)

206 Dang, you'd think a sixer of tallboys might improve my weak ass typing.

Posted by: Tex McThirsty at August 26, 2012 05:56 PM (mxnUd)

207 Well, since they have sent Shep to New Orleans I won't have Fox on. I will listen to the radio tomorrow.

Is Geraldo going as well? Both of them are such drama queens that it gives me nausea.

So ATTENTION ROGER AILES!! I AM NOT WATCHING SHEP!!

Thank you, morons, for letting me scream.

Posted by: Miss Marple at August 26, 2012 05:57 PM (GoIUi)

208 210 You type with your ass? Wow. I'd like to see that sometime.

Posted by: Beto at August 26, 2012 05:57 PM (BAnPT)

209 The good thing, is the houses and buildings in Okinawa (same in Guam), are built for typhoons...they get hit by typhoons every year.

But if the buildings don't collapse, they transfer the wind force to the ground, which could then tip over!

Posted by: Hank Johnson (D) at August 26, 2012 05:58 PM (rPA5/)

210 I can hear the weather reporter and anchors screaming into the night...
OVER HERE!! THIS WAY STUPID STORM!!

Posted by: Beto at August 26, 2012 05:58 PM (BAnPT)

211

OK, 'rons 'n 'ettes. It's getting real close to bedtime for this Bonzo.

Y'all have fun and try not to trash the place, 'k?

Posted by: BackwardsBoy at August 26, 2012 05:59 PM (d0Tfm)

212 213 Hank Johnson D-physics,

My good friend Hank just highlighted storm safety, and I am going to use my detailed knowledge of anatomy to let you know that womens' hoo has are made of sand...."

//Tard Akin R-Gynecology

Posted by: sven10077 at August 26, 2012 06:00 PM (LRFds)

213 I love hurricane coverage. They run down to the beach to warn you not to go to the beach.

Posted by: USS Diversity at August 26, 2012 06:00 PM (0CiTm)

214 I gotta' go too. Big week in Central Texas what with the hurricane that's coming and all.

Posted by: Beto at August 26, 2012 06:00 PM (BAnPT)

215 The rain has just started to pick up here in Sarasota, getting breezy but nothing I haven't seen before, some gusts to 30 mph would be my guess.

While I'm glad it's not going to be a major storm, I'm kind of disappointed that the occupoopers planning on disrupting the convention in Tampa won't keep their iPhones dry.

Geraldo Cantore will fap on live tv if the surge floods the convention center

Posted by: kbdabear at August 26, 2012 06:01 PM (wwsoB)

216 This just in: Hurricane Isaac is armed and has taken hostages. It also claims to have planted explosives on several cruise ships. Authorities have not yet confirmed these reports, but have spelled out the words "tea party" in secret hand signals.

Posted by: Shep Smith's Underwear at August 26, 2012 06:01 PM (Wp4rQ)

217 @201- "Not that bad though. They're still employed". Ahem.

Posted by: teej at August 26, 2012 06:01 PM (K4AdI)

218 This storm is looking like it will be a catastrophe on a scale that humankind has not experienced since the KT extinction event. Now excuse me while I seek a place to stand in the blast for the camera crew.

Posted by: Geraldo Rivera at August 26, 2012 06:03 PM (Jl3/t)

219 It's no ordinary hurricane. There is an Alien mothership hiding in it.

Posted by: Shep Smith's Underwear at August 26, 2012 06:04 PM (Wp4rQ)

220 I love hurricane coverage. So do we! Throw in more "ZOMG!!"s and it'll make even better TV!

Posted by: US Gas Prices at August 26, 2012 06:04 PM (FcR7P)

221 EPIC.FAIL. New York assembly candidate Ben Akselrod has reportedly distributed campaign literature to thousands of likely voters with a pretty appalling typoÂ– the man replaced Â“neighborhoodÂ” with Â“negrohoodÂ” when discussing high crime rates. Â“I am running for Assembly because I believe the number one job of that office is to keep the community safe. The current assemblyman has allowed crime to go up over 50% in our negrohood so far this year. I am fighting for video cameras throughout our community to protect our seniors who are the most vulnerable; and cut down on anti-Semitic attacks in our community. I will also make sure the mayor gives our community more police to patrol our streetsÂ” [Emphasis added].

Posted by: steevy at August 26, 2012 06:04 PM (6o4Fb)

222 NO ONT?

OK night all see you soon

Posted by: sven10077 at August 26, 2012 06:04 PM (LRFds)

223 We have zero ability to predict the climate. Zero. Posted by: eman at August 26, 2012 09:52 PM

Yesterday Mike Bettis on TWC was giving us his expertise, assuring viewers that any model that put landfall west of Mobile shouldn't be taken seriously.

Bettis is probably asking NBC engineers how to memory hole a broadcast seen by millions

Posted by: kbdabear at August 26, 2012 06:05 PM (wwsoB)

224 @ 217 Diversity, you should be in Ohio during winter. One Tino Ramos gets sent out to measure snow drifts with a ruler. It's embarrassing to watch.

Posted by: ErikW at August 26, 2012 06:06 PM (JS2gh)

225 217 I love hurricane coverage. They run down to the beach to warn you not to go to the beach.

Posted by: USS Diversity at August 26, 2012 10:00 PM (0CiTm)

I love the reporter standing in the boat as people walk by in water that doesn't even come close to their knees.

Posted by: buzzion at August 26, 2012 06:06 PM (GULKT)

226 Wow Steevy. No party listed must be a Dim.

Posted by: Hanoverfist at August 26, 2012 06:07 PM (HiKk0)

227 Anybody got a plastic cup?

Posted by: Sean Penn at August 26, 2012 06:08 PM (IoNBC)

228 I love hurricane coverage. They run down to the beach to warn you not to go to the beach.

That was a side plot of one of Dave Barry's novels...minimal wind and rain, citizens inconvenienced but not imperiled, and a local TV station lost half its staff covering the storm.

Posted by: Reggie Love at August 26, 2012 06:08 PM (hO8IJ)

229 Die, creepy sock.

Posted by: HeatherRadish™ at August 26, 2012 06:08 PM (hO8IJ)

230 I love the reporter standing in the boat as people walk by in water that doesn't even come close to their knees. Posted by: buzzion at August 26, 2012 10:06 PM (GULKT) That was an instant classic.

Posted by: eman at August 26, 2012 06:08 PM (Wp4rQ)

231 We spent the day hauling workers in from the offshore raping of gaia. I think I pumped close to 2000 gallons into our 7 helicopters. 46 flight hours today with no breakdowns (go maintenance team go!) Our customer parking lot is a ghost town. Think we moved like 100 people today. Im gonna go mix me a big ole screwdriver and chill a bit. I live about 50 miles to the west of the projected landfall.

Hi Tom!

Posted by: helofixer at August 26, 2012 06:09 PM (q0f3I)

232 Clips on TV of the Ron Paul (spit) rally in Tampa today. He defends Assange, notes that Bradley Manning didn't kill anyon and Daniel Ellsberg told the truth abut Vietnam, and, by the way, Paul won't endorse Romney. Grrr.

Posted by: Jim in Virginia at August 26, 2012 06:10 PM (NxBOG)

233 Anybody got a plastic cup?

Yo
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BKZqGJONH68

Posted by: Toby Keith at August 26, 2012 06:11 PM (K5Md6)

234 If you could sleep with a hurricane, the MBM would marry Katrina. To them the storm was their "big comeback" and the king of gotchas on Bush

Whenever The Weather Channel tells us about all their meteorological "experts" they have on call, it's "photogenic reporters who took some weather classes"

Then there's the Stephanie Abrams look that all the weather babes have effected .. wet windbreaker, baseball cap, pony tail

Posted by: kbdabear at August 26, 2012 06:12 PM (wwsoB)

235 Yes,he is a Democrat,challenging a Dem incumbent in the primary.

Posted by: steevy at August 26, 2012 06:13 PM (6o4Fb)

236

Since we have no ONT - here is the Pseudo-ONT

topic: food prices

topic: weird weather gardening

topic: worst movie re-makes

and some animal video.........

Posted by: seamrog at August 26, 2012 06:13 PM (nVMji)

237 Yeah, C-Span was just showing nutty Uncle Ron on the TV. He was speaking to a crowd of his people. He appeared to me to be unmedicated at the time, so anything could happen.

Posted by: Reader C.J. Burch (fake Internet person) writes..... at August 26, 2012 06:13 PM (sJTmU)

238 The best weather broadcast was when the desk man was talking about snowfall amounts and then told the reporterette that he could "guarantee you 9 inches tonight".

Posted by: USS Diversity at August 26, 2012 06:14 PM (0CiTm)

239 239 Since we have no ONT - here is the Pseudo-ONT topic: food prices topic: weird weather gardening topic: worst movie re-makes and some animal video......... Hey! Bewbs!?

Posted by: BCochran1981 at August 26, 2012 06:14 PM (GEICT)

240 236 Proving he is insane. Hope Rand doesn't follow in Dad's footsteps too closely.

Posted by: Mindy at August 26, 2012 06:15 PM (601AC)

241 Looks like that TAC pussy Rod Dreher stole CDR-M's Love Boat Isaac graphic without attribution. Typical.

Posted by: clay at August 26, 2012 06:15 PM (buExz)

242

Paul and Huckabee should go waltzin through the portal to Hell as far as I am concerned

Posted by: thunderb at August 26, 2012 06:16 PM (Dnbau)

243 236 Clips on TV of the Ron Paul (spit) rally in Tampa today. He defends Assange, notes that Bradley Manning didn't kill anyon andDaniel Ellsberg told the truth abut Vietnam, and, by the way, Paul won't endorse Romney. Grrr.

Posted by: Jim in Virginia at August 26, 2012 10:10 PM (NxBOG)

I shocked at this.... Really I swear.

I'm surprised cat piss hasn't shown up to tell us how amazing this event is. And also to engage in her hysterical conspiracy theories that part of the convention shuffling was to prevent Ron Paul from stealing the nomination from Romney.

Posted by: buzzion at August 26, 2012 06:17 PM (GULKT)

244 Texas libertarian and former presidential candidate Ron Paul recently explained in an interview with the New York Times why he chose not to speak at the Republican National Convention, saying the mandatory endorsement of Mitt Romney would Â“undo everythingÂ” he has done for the bulk of his career. Apparently convention organizers offered him a speaking role, but only if he gave a Â“full-fledged endorsementÂ” of the former Massachusetts governor and agreed to have his remarks pre-approved. Â“It wouldnÂ’t be my speech,Â” Paul explained to the New York Times. Â“That would undo everything IÂ’ve done in the last 30 years.Â” He continued: Â“I donÂ’t fully endorse him for president.Â”

Posted by: steevy at August 26, 2012 06:18 PM (6o4Fb)

245 Why must everything be fucking abbrevated?When they refer to "MPG" in these car commercials instead of miles per gallon it annoys the fuck out of me.

Posted by: steevy at August 26, 2012 06:20 PM (6o4Fb)

246 1996, Hurricane Bertha ran us off from Nags Head. We left at the last possible moment. We tried boogie boarding the waves and got our asses kicked. I got rolled up the beach and felt like I wore a belt sander.

Posted by: ErikW at August 26, 2012 06:20 PM (JS2gh)

247 Can we replace the circles in the graphic with Todd Akin heads?

Posted by: Legitimate Rape at August 26, 2012 06:20 PM (tOkJB)

248 yes bewbs are allowed on the pseudONT.

Posted by: seamrog at August 26, 2012 06:21 PM (nVMji)

249

since he's got some of the highest ratings on fox, i'm not seeing ailes wanting to replace the guy because a few folks hate him !

Gee you mean the most watched news network gets high ratings at the times most people typically tune into the news, and you think it has to do with the guy reading the news as if he's some valuable commodity that no one else could do his job?

Posted by: buzzion at August 26, 2012 06:22 PM (GULKT)

250 129 The Cockholster In Chief sent a Tweet regarding the death of Neil Armstrong.

It included a picture of Obama looking at the moon.

...

What comes after "contempt?"
Posted by: weft cut-loop at August 26, 2012 09:21 PM

A picture of Michelle looking at the moon would catch the fangs growing, the hair sprouting out on her face, and the waist belt bursting

Posted by: kbdabear at August 26, 2012 06:22 PM (wwsoB)

251 I'm surprised cat piss hasn't shown up to tell us how amazing this event is. And also to engage in her hysterical conspiracy theories that part of the convention shuffling was to prevent Ron Paul from stealing the nomination from Romney. She's to busy cleaning her fur after what she and chemjeff did last night..

Posted by: BCochran1981 at August 26, 2012 06:25 PM (GEICT)

252 Stephanie Abrams Weather Boobs

http://tinyurl.com/9ovbj74

Posted by: kbdabear at August 26, 2012 06:25 PM (wwsoB)

253 A picture of Michelle looking at the moon would catch the fangs growing, the hair sprouting out on her face, and the waist belt bursting Posted by: kbdabear

Ok, that was funny but AoSHQ Style Manual has it as 'boob belt.'

9.0

Posted by: weft cut-loop [/i] [/b] at August 26, 2012 06:26 PM (Q/1Jp)

254

Astronauts golfed on the moon.

Obama fakes golfing.

Obama has been on the moon.

You didn't par that.

Posted by: seamrog at August 26, 2012 06:27 PM (nVMji)

255 Well according to the Democrats it's the end of the World as we know it and Romney doesn't care about the little people...

Posted by: the pink cracker formerly known as the hobbit Donna at August 26, 2012 06:31 PM (W2Z3C)

256

Posted by: jimi ray at August 26, 2012 10:17 PM (79EF9)

Ummm, they can't even figure out where this storm is going to hit in the next few days. And you are saying that long-term projections are more accurate?

Did the NWS predict last years mild winter? And if so, what are our winters going to be over the next, let's say, decade or even 100yrs or so?

And what the hell is this 'hadean geologic era, so the relevant cyclic scale is not "4.5ga"!'

Care to explain that? Because you need to...

Posted by: HH at August 26, 2012 06:33 PM (v+ExF)

257 since he's got some of the highest ratings on fox, i'm not seeing ailes wanting to replace the guy because a few folks hate him !

Gee you mean the most watched news network gets high ratings at the times most people typically tune into the news, and you think it has to do with the guy reading the news as if he's some valuable commodity that no one else could do his job?

Shep's ratings typically drop compared to the shows that precede and follow him.

Posted by: AmishDude at August 26, 2012 06:39 PM (xSegX)

258 I'm sorry, but the Northwest Territories license plate is classic. If I was in a state that allowed a vanity plate on the front, I'd buy one and hope it wasn't stolen. I should ask my dad if he kept his (and my mom, who had to have one on her Boston Bruins-colored 67 Camaro)

Posted by: I lurk, therefore I am at August 26, 2012 06:54 PM (yXnZF)

259 I am an idiot. Please refer to the overnight thread and if you're dealing with Isaac, I hope it goes well.

Posted by: I lurk, therefore I am at August 26, 2012 07:04 PM (yXnZF)

260 Posted by: jimi ray at August 26, 2012 10:17 PM (79EF9) Nonsense.

Posted by: eman at August 26, 2012 07:11 PM (Wp4rQ)

261 The issue is "tuning" these climate models after the fact doesn't mean jack unless this new model more accurately predicts future climate conditions. I'm not sold that they are, but I'm willing to be convinced otherwise.

Posted by: Hobojerky at August 26, 2012 07:37 PM (MrM2k)

262 Has the cannibalism started yet? We thought we saw some giant boiling pot fires on the flyover to Tampa.

Posted by: Shep & Geraldo at August 26, 2012 07:52 PM (eHIJJ)

263 It is the liberals' fault. As intelligent, wise atheists, they were supposed to schedule chanting and wishing circles to feed power to the storm and direct it to the RNC convention. Every liberal who watched TV and/or worked yesterday instead of praying to Gaea, this is your fault!

Posted by: dustydog at August 27, 2012 02:26 AM (UqrJb)

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