Ace of Spades HQ

March 08, 2012

TSA making you feel safe* yet? [krakatoa]
— Open Blogger

At least the average terrorist org. doesn't have much practice secreting weapons on their persons in non-standard ways.

Ohhh.

Wait.

No wonder the wife hints I should up my life insurance now that I'm flying more frequently.

Oh well. We can still rest easy knowing our other counter-terrorism efforts are effective and constructive and... ohhhh.

Scrump me.

* And by "safe" I mean "like a 6th grader whose P/E teacher likes to film the class stretching out".

COUNTER-TERRORISM 2012! ^TM When it's done right, they won't even know we're on to them. Mostly because we're making Nanna feel like an extra on the set of Porky's.

Posted by: Open Blogger at 05:30 AM | Comments (89)
Post contains 118 words, total size 1 kb.

1 Obama does so many things well that America is almost completely gone.

Posted by: Pecos, the pessimist at March 08, 2012 05:32 AM (2Gb0y)

Posted by: Pecos, the pessimist at March 08, 2012 05:34 AM (2Gb0y)

3 lol This proves that you are safest alone.

Posted by: Pecos, the pessimist at March 08, 2012 05:37 AM (2Gb0y)

4 I stopped watching when he referenced the Israelis. You know why the Israeli TSA equivalent works so well? They profile the hell out of people who should be profiled. That wouldn't work here. The TSA has to work with what they have, and under the looney lefty rules. Don't get me wrong, I know the TSA is borderline useless and they have way too much power, which is 99% just to make people feel safe. But unless we as a country grow some nuts, what do you expect?

Posted by: yinzer at March 08, 2012 05:37 AM (/Mla1)

5 All the TSA has to do is switch to a pseudo or false colour background to fix this. That's the rainbow colour effect you see when you look at an infrared image, red for hotter temps and blue for colder.

Posted by: EC at March 08, 2012 05:40 AM (GQ8sn)

Who cannot feel safe with an army of high school (or GED equivalent) graduates in skin tight Dockers on the front lines? Headed up by a guy named Janet.

Posted by: Jimmah at March 08, 2012 05:40 AM (sv7B2)

7 I think the TSA does a spectacular job. I remember when this crack force of anti-terrorist specialists was established. The democrats, to their credit, made sure that they were federal employees, drawn from the ranks of the best of the best. Every time I am stripped down and my junk is touched at an airport, I am happy that these proficient warriors are standing watch for me. I would like to see their special forces expanded to our roadways and waterways as well.

Posted by: Truck Monkey at March 08, 2012 05:44 AM (jucos)

8 that's just scary.
urgh.
and I have a plane trip in a couple of weeks too.

Posted by: chemjeff at March 08, 2012 05:46 AM (VE1KN)

9 TSA released a statement: http://bit.ly/w4Goss

Posted by: MikeInBA at March 08, 2012 05:46 AM (Q9Fr6)

10 I think the TSA is a joke and that guy that heads up Homeland security is ugly. However, this thing where people are freaked by an xray because they're embarassed? Seriously, who cares? Really? Try getting Fluked --that's alota exposure.

Posted by: dagny loved andrew at March 08, 2012 05:47 AM (u50z0)

11 It's all security theater. This morning, I'm in a business suit using a Clear lane (I pay $150/yr for TSA per screening and a background chek) and I still get diverted for a random alarm and they test for explosives. I liked the story where Israel told them to take the body scanners and shove them.

Posted by: Dave in Fla at March 08, 2012 05:47 AM (0JxyR)

12 All the TSA has to do is switch to a pseudo or false colour background to fix this. That's the rainbow colour effect you see when you look at an infrared image, red for hotter temps and blue for colder.

Posted by: EC at March 08, 2012 09:40 AM (GQ8sn)

Possibly, but do the nekkid scanners have that capability? Or do they have to spend another multi-billion dollars to retrofit or replace them? And why wasn't this rather easy way to defeat these scanners contemplated and part of product testing before these were put to market?

Posted by: Insomniac at March 08, 2012 05:48 AM (DrWcr)

13 Why wouldn't profiling work here?

Posted by: dagny loved andrew at March 08, 2012 05:48 AM (u50z0)

14 Pre screening. Damn autocorrect

Posted by: Dave in Fla at March 08, 2012 05:48 AM (0JxyR)

15 the best part is you get to stand in a long line for this incompetence!!!!

Posted by: phoenixgirl, rip andrew at March 08, 2012 05:49 AM (Ho2rs)

16 13 dagny RACIST!!!!!!!!!////

Posted by: phoenixgirl, rip andrew at March 08, 2012 05:49 AM (Ho2rs)

17 Oh, because of the leftturds. Got it. The solution therefore would be.....

Posted by: dagny loved andrew at March 08, 2012 05:49 AM (u50z0)

18 Because it would offend the sensibilities of leftists.

Posted by: Dave in Fla at March 08, 2012 05:49 AM (0JxyR)

19 We're boned

Posted by: cherry at March 08, 2012 05:50 AM (OhYCU)

20 Why wouldn't profiling work here?

Posted by: dagny loved andrew at March 08, 2012 09:48 AM (u50z0)

I phrased that poorly. It would be effective, but the libs would go nuts and the court system would be clogged with countless lawsuits. That would become the dem's primary issue come campaign time, and a dem would get elected to scrap any kind of profiling and get back to what we have now. And we'd all have to pay for the TSA employees to get a extra dose of sensitivity training.

Posted by: yinzer at March 08, 2012 05:51 AM (/Mla1)

TSA says -

With all that said, it is one layer of our 20 layers of security (Behavior Detection, Explosives Detection Canines, Federal Air Marshals, , etc.) and is not a machine that has all the tools we need in one handy device. WeÂ’ve never claimed itÂ’s the end all be all.

------------

So the guy made it through 60 layers of security with his metal case?

Posted by: Jimmah at March 08, 2012 05:52 AM (sv7B2)

22 "Why wouldn't profiling work here?"

Because Romney would never have the balls to mention it.

Posted by: cherry at March 08, 2012 05:53 AM (OhYCU)

23 yinzer an extra dose of sensitivity training? how about a dose of "HEY TSA AGENTS....YOU ACTUALLY HAVE TO PAY ATTENTION" training......

Posted by: phoenixgirl, rip andrew at March 08, 2012 05:53 AM (Ho2rs)

24 Jesus, I can't believe we're gonna get stuck with that arch pussy Romney. Shit. McCain all the fuck over again. When given a choice Mitt will attack Zero with a plastic star wars sword, rather than a katana. What a fucking milquetoast pussified wussified girlie man. I say again, shit.

Posted by: maddogg at March 08, 2012 05:54 AM (OlN4e)

25 yinzer

an extra dose of sensitivity training? how about a dose of "HEY TSA AGENTS....YOU ACTUALLY HAVE TO PAY ATTENTION" training......

Posted by: phoenixgirl, rip andrew at March 08, 2012 09:53 AM (Ho2rs)

I don't know, that one may violate a union rule or two.

Posted by: yinzer at March 08, 2012 05:54 AM (/Mla1)

26 Possibly, but do the nekkid scanners have that capability?

I can't believe they wouldn't already have this capability, but it should be as easy as a software patch.

Posted by: EC at March 08, 2012 05:54 AM (GQ8sn)

27 But without the TSA, how is Sandra Fluke gonna get felt up on a regular basis? She can't afford her birth control, so that's all she's got left. She needs her some lovin', you know. It's a matter of life and death.

Posted by: tcn at March 08, 2012 05:55 AM (ZOUmX)

28 EC it's probably soooooooo soooooper easy it will only cost 5 billion dollars..............

Posted by: phoenixgirl, rip andrew at March 08, 2012 05:55 AM (Ho2rs)

29 for each machine!

Posted by: phoenixgirl, rip andrew at March 08, 2012 05:55 AM (Ho2rs)

30 I can't believe they wouldn't already have this capability, but it should be as easy as a software patch.

Posted by: EC at March 08, 2012 09:54 AM (GQ8sn)

Clearly you don't understand government contracting procedures.

Posted by: tcn at March 08, 2012 05:56 AM (ZOUmX)

31 13 Why wouldn't profiling work here?

Posted by: dagny loved andrew at March 08, 2012 09:48 AM (u50z0)

That's just the thing- it *would* work here (the same way it works in Israel). The problem is with the definition of the word "work" which, in Israel, apparently means "preventing terrorists from killing innocent people" while in America its meaning has somehow morphed into "will not get a bunch of maniacs who want to kill innocent people all butthurt".

Unfortunately "Newspeak" is alive and well.

Posted by: Nighthawk at March 08, 2012 05:56 AM (RSqz2)

32 I've been rooting for Santorum, until I went to bed on Tues thinking he won Ohio. It had dawned on me he might actually get the nomination! In the morning much to my relief he didnt win Ohio. And I'm still rooting for him, or Newt. Makes no sense.

Posted by: Jimmah at March 08, 2012 05:57 AM (sv7B2)

33 you know....if the tsa were smart.....they'd tie health care into these full body scans.....use the scan as an MRI and charge our mandatory insurance coverage company for the bulk of the scan AND make us pay our co-pay......

Posted by: phoenixgirl, rip andrew at March 08, 2012 05:58 AM (Ho2rs)

34 Fluke would have to carry 8 rubbers just to get her through a 2 hour flight

Posted by: cherry at March 08, 2012 05:59 AM (OhYCU)

35 Huh, I thought they still had the metal detectors and the body scans were in addition. Probably depends on the airport but when they let someone in a Muzzie eye slit hood and burka skirt the safety systems you know its just theatre. Like anybody can even tell the gender under that get up.

Posted by: Palerider at March 08, 2012 05:59 AM (vL0Nv)

36 What's this matter? Just another useless intrusions by the government into our freedoms that most people won't care about, the media won't cover, and that wastes billions in taxpayer dollars. This is the hallmark of the Obama domestic agenda. To all those that keep saying you will sit out of Romney is the nominee, suck my dick, sincerely and with feeling.

Posted by: Mr Pink at March 08, 2012 06:01 AM (iv+KC)

37 Haha...good point about gov contracting and their version of "fixing" problems. All very true.

Whoever wrote the software for these pr0n scanners (Chertoff's company?) could add this in very quickly for a nice sum of one billion dollars.

Posted by: EC at March 08, 2012 06:01 AM (GQ8sn)

38 Well no WONDER TSA agents make gals go thru the scanners multiple times before finally getting them go past security. No wonder they ask their pals to come over and watch the monitor during the process. They're just trying to make sure she hasn't secreted any weapons on her person in non-convetional ways. Yeah... that's the ticket!

Posted by: CoolCzech at March 08, 2012 06:01 AM (Iaxlk)

39 You guys are being unfair. Are you telling me you never lied to make it look like you got laid a lot more than you actually did? I just happened to do it on national TV while propagandizing as part of my duties as a career activist. So what?

Posted by: Sandra Fluke at March 08, 2012 06:02 AM (/Mla1)

40 The whole thing reminds me of Airplane 2, where the security guys are too busy looking at bewbs on their naked scanners to stop a bunch of heavily armed terrorists from walking right on through. Then they pull a little old lady out of line and rough her up. Life does imitate art after all!

Posted by: Insomniac at March 08, 2012 06:03 AM (DrWcr)

41 36 Fluke would have to carry 8 rubbers just to get her through a 2 hour flight Posted by: cherry at March 08, 2012 09:59 AM (OhYCU) In fairness to Fluke, she's much more into "face shields" than rubbers are into her, IYKWIM.

Posted by: CoolCzech at March 08, 2012 06:03 AM (Iaxlk)

42 'Feminisnt' saves the pervs the trouble of using the scanner. http://tinyurl.com/2u7bds2

Posted by: RWC at March 08, 2012 06:04 AM (fWAjv)

43 I work at a major international airport. Once you have seen THOUSANDS of port employees working in the "sterile" area (think: after you've been molested and are on your way to your plane) with only a cursory glance at their badges as they report to work, you realize the self-evident truth of the description of TSA security as "theater".

This includes people PUTTING THINGS INTO PLANES. I also used to work in the credentials center. What disqualifies you? A felony. That's it.

Think about that the next time you are being gently touched by your government sponsored "security" specialist.

Posted by: Jet "A", baby. at March 08, 2012 06:04 AM (TrNbx)

44 Shannon Bream is coming on to me again.

Posted by: Blacksheep at March 08, 2012 06:05 AM (TpvWF)

45 When I travel in Uniform they pretty much just wave me thru security. I mean that's nice, but it really would not be all that hard for anyone with bad intentions to get a phony Uniform and ID ( ID might be harder, but not impossible ). Just saying

Posted by: nevergiveup at March 08, 2012 06:05 AM (i6RpT)

46 43 The whole thing reminds me of Airplane 2, where the security guys are too busy looking at bewbs on their naked scanners to stop a bunch of heavily armed terrorists from walking right on through. Then they pull a little old lady out of line and rough her up. Life does imitate art after all! Posted by: Insomniac at March 08, 2012 10:03 AM (DrWcr) Don't worry. We took care of Airplane 2's producers. Knocked on their doors at midnight and dragged them in for some rough questioning.

Posted by: The Secret Service at March 08, 2012 06:05 AM (Iaxlk)

47 The TSA infringed upon my sexual justice rights when they seized my special device. They said it was the size of a Louisville Slugger and it could injure someone.

Posted by: Sandra Fluke at March 08, 2012 06:05 AM (/Mla1)

48 45 She's just trying to get a date with Napolitano

Posted by: dagny loved andrew at March 08, 2012 06:06 AM (u50z0)

49 Whenever the TSA is mentioned I always involuntarily think of that brief scene in "Airplane!" where the security screener waives the Castro looking guys in fatigues carrying bazookas and machine guns through the checkpoint but makes some poor schlub pull off his prosthetic arm and leg.

Back in 1980 it was a joke- today, not so much...

Posted by: Nighthawk at March 08, 2012 06:06 AM (RSqz2)

50 Shannon Bream is coming on to me again. Posted by: Blacksheep at March 08, 2012 10:05 AM (TpvWF) Ah that was me she was coming on to

Posted by: nevergiveup at March 08, 2012 06:06 AM (i6RpT)

51 Hey, I'm flying this weekend! Whoopee for me!

Posted by: Y-not at March 08, 2012 06:07 AM (5H6zj)

52 It's time America get with the program. We need these elite TSA professionals performing random pat downs and, in their discretion, cavity searches on all Americans. On our roads, in our schools, in our homes, and in our churches. Especially churches. I trust the TSA with pass keys to enter our homes unannounced at random times. It may be uncomfortable to watch a TSA agent bend your wife over the bed for a complete screening during an unannounced night inspection, but security has its costs. Thank you, TSA, for your service!

Posted by: USA at March 08, 2012 06:07 AM (6Cjut)

Muslims only fly by Trebuchet.

Posted by: King garrett's Second decree at March 08, 2012 06:07 AM (CVG5J)

54 OT
Maybe there is hope for the future, maybe not....
'Offensive' high school students!

(Link to a San Antonio, TX newspaper article.)

Posted by: RioBravo at March 08, 2012 06:08 AM (eEfYn)

55 The Solar Storm is hitting earth, especially the north half, as we speak. Do ya feel the love?

Posted by: nevergiveup at March 08, 2012 06:09 AM (i6RpT)

56 Of course, J. Nap knew nothing of the You Tube video. http://tinyurl.com/8x3tpop

Posted by: USA at March 08, 2012 06:10 AM (6Cjut)

57 Heh. Dennis Miller opens his show chuckling about the Breitbart fans who've swamped Matty's reviews. Said he doesn't want to give him any pub so he didn't say his name.

Posted by: Lincolntf at March 08, 2012 06:11 AM (hiMsy)

58 So today my big patient is my wife. Hum? Solar Strom or treat my wife? Solar Storm or treat my wife? Solar Storm or treat my wife? OK I'm going with the Solar Storm

Posted by: nevergiveup at March 08, 2012 06:12 AM (i6RpT)

59 The best life insurance on a plane is probably a Glock now that we know you can get one through.

Posted by: Purple Avenger at March 08, 2012 06:13 AM (fJcck)

60 or Solar Strom...

Posted by: USA at March 08, 2012 06:13 AM (6Cjut)

61 I can't believe they wouldn't already have this capability, but it should be as easy as a software patch.

OK. (italics?!!!!!?).

If two interview outfits cost $ 11 million, how much will one software patch cost?

My guess is well over $1 billion.

Posted by: RioBravo at March 08, 2012 06:14 AM (eEfYn)

62 64 Nope. No italics.

Posted by: RioBravo at March 08, 2012 06:14 AM (eEfYn)

63 My guess is well over $1 billion.

And it'll only take 5 years to rollout, and introduce 100 new bugs

Posted by: Purple Avenger at March 08, 2012 06:15 AM (fJcck)

@28

Who's gonna pay for her air fare?

Posted by: Say What? at March 08, 2012 06:16 AM (b7L99)

65 OT
Maybe there is hope for the future, maybe not....
'Offensive' high school students!

(Link to a San Antonio, TX newspaper article.)

Posted by: RioBravo at March 08, 2012 10:08 AM (eEfYn)

Let me see if I got this right: A hispanic group of students was accused of racism because they chanted "USA USA" during a baskeball game where the other team was mostly Hispanic (but presumably American). What?

Posted by: yinzer at March 08, 2012 06:16 AM (/Mla1)

66 >>My guess is well over $1 billion.

And it'll only take 5 years to rollout, and introduce 100 new bugs

Posted by: Purple Avenger at March 08, 2012 10:15 AM (fJcck)

Optimist.

Posted by: Retread at March 08, 2012 06:16 AM (joSBv)

67 68 Let me see if I got this right: A hispanic group of students was accused of racism because they chanted "USA USA" during a baskeball game where the other team was mostly Hispanic (but presumably American). What?
------
Rule #1: Don't try to apply logic.
I am not sure if USA is offensive or ARIZONA or both.

Posted by: RioBravo at March 08, 2012 06:19 AM (eEfYn)

68 Let me see if I got this right: A hispanic group of students was accused
of racism because they chanted "USA USA" during a baskeball game where
the other team was mostly Hispanic (but presumably American). What?

*****

All you need to know is that YOU, sir, are a racist. Please turn yourself in for re-education.

Posted by: Eric H. at March 08, 2012 06:22 AM (TrNbx)

69 No big 'effen deal here. Gotta run, hosting a conference on homeless hobos tomorrow. Catch me later.

Posted by: Borak Roseannadanna at March 08, 2012 06:22 AM (I8Xca)

70 So what company sold the body scanners to the TSA and how many of their directors are big donors to SCOAMF's campaign?

Posted by: MoeRon at March 08, 2012 06:24 AM (yWDpP)

71 I lost all faith in the TSA when my mother-in-law arrived from FL. She still had a swiss army knife and a pair of scissors in her purse. Her meds had been dumped out in her luggage and all the pain killers were gone.

To top it off, they stole 3/4 of the batch of sugar cookies she brought with her & crushed the rest.

MOTHERFUCKERS STOLE MY COOKIES!!!

TSA IS A JOKE! WE ARE NOT SAFER!

Posted by: bad guy at March 08, 2012 06:26 AM (ligUZ)

72 I'd be really really pissed over the cookies. Ya wanna turn people into terrorists? Crush the homemade cookies their mommies made. Bastards.

Posted by: dagny loved andrew at March 08, 2012 06:27 AM (u50z0)

73 73 "So what company sold the body scanners to the TSA and how many of their directors are big donors to SCOAMF's campaign?"

The name Michael Chertoff ring a bell? The original head of TSA, Bush's buddy. Corrupt mutherfucker.

Posted by: bad guy at March 08, 2012 06:27 AM (ligUZ)

74 >>And it'll only take 5 years to rollout, and introduce 100 new bugs And italics still won't work!! Wait, what are we talking about?

Posted by: Mama AJ at March 08, 2012 06:27 AM (XdlcF)

75 77 >>And it'll only take 5 years to rollout, and introduce 100 new bugs

And italics still won't work!!

Wait, what are we talking about?

Posted by: Mama AJ at March 08, 2012 10:27 AM (XdlcF)

Well played, madam.

Posted by: Insomniac at March 08, 2012 06:33 AM (DrWcr)

76 And italics still won't work!! Posted by: Mama AJ at March 08, 2012 10:27 AM (XdlcF) ----------------------------------------------------------- They never did! Because they are LAZY!

Posted by: Truck Monkey at March 08, 2012 06:34 AM (jucos)

77 Yeh, I kill on dead threads.

Posted by: Mama AJ at March 08, 2012 06:39 AM (XdlcF)

78 79 And italics still won't work!!

Posted by: Mama AJ at March 08, 2012 10:27 AM (XdlcF)

Posted by: fozzy at March 08, 2012 06:45 AM (FEzSe)

Jet "A", baby. at March 08, 2012 10:04 AM:

I also used to work in the credentials center. What disqualifies you? A felony. That's it.

---

Not so fast there... Even the TSA will go to bat for you and force an airport to give you the security credentials even if you have a felony. http://tinyurl.com/7veb7pj

Posted by: Dilligas at March 08, 2012 06:51 AM (HhjUQ)

80 As much as I hate the phrase, "There outta be a law...," perfecting and divulging techniques to circumvent security at an airport shouldn't be covered under "Free Speech." Rights have limits. You can't yell fire in a theater because you could cause a panic that gets people killed. We also don't generally let lunatics, felons, or unsupervised children have guns--at least not legally. A religion can't sacrifice a virgin to the sun god during the summer solstice... you get the idea.

Posted by: GreginNC at March 08, 2012 06:56 AM (x7byD)

But, if there really is a fire, you should yell "fire" regardless of how crowded the theater is....right?

Posted by: Ninja Please at March 08, 2012 07:01 AM (8AV+0)

82 Not the first time Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr. killed a thread LOL

Posted by: Ninja Please at March 08, 2012 07:08 AM (8AV+0)

Greg,

What was shown in the video has been known to exist as a vulneribility for quite some time. The fact that TSA has not (or at least appeared to not have) addressed it yet is the part of the purpose for the video.

It would be better to consider this as a whistleblower type incident. I know of many people have tried to quietly note to TSA issues with their processes and procedures, but TSA seems to ignore them. And, like a whistleblower, when the proper channels fail, then efforts like this are needed. If nothing else - this should start to draw an appropriate amount of attention to this vulneribility so that it will be addressed.

Somewhat of a discloser... As others have noted, I have to agree with the often noted assessment that TSA is just a Theatrical Security Agency...

Posted by: Dilligas at March 08, 2012 07:15 AM (HhjUQ)

84 Dead at 87!? So young.

Posted by: MetaThought at March 08, 2012 07:48 AM (DCbVA)

85 In one of the Douglas Adam's Hitchhiker books Arthur and Ford end up on a starship full of all the moronic rejects from some distant planet. They end up crashing onto a planet later revealed to be earth. With each passing day I realize the late Douglas Adams had some super secret knowledge he was sharing with us under the guise of fiction.

Show your support to your candidate with.
The Dancing Candidate Election Countdown app for android:

http://tinyurl.com/7qjjqxh

Posted by: Dandalo at March 08, 2012 07:54 AM (GAJm6)

86 Dude.

A flat iron is basically a six inch blade with a handle. Someone could sharpen the hell out of it and carry it right on board.

A powder compact, same thing. It contains a thin metal disc on the inside that could be popped out and used as a blade.

My stilettos could be sharpened to a very fine point and with the heel cap on, security would never even notice.

Belt buckles....

Travel irons....

Someone who really wants to get through, will. It's all a fucking dog and pony show.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at March 08, 2012 08:15 AM (piMMO)

GREAT. TSA MOCKS THE PROVEN FLAWS IN THEIR SECURITY WITH THE SCANNER's EPIC FAIL. SO THEY MAKE US FEEL BETTER BY SAYING IT's ONLY 1 PART OF 20 LAYERS TO SECURITY.

GREAT. THE VIDEO PROVES THE KID CAN DEFEAT NOT ONLY THE SCANNER, BUT THE OTHER 19 LAYERS TO BOOT.

Posted by: GabeS at March 08, 2012 10:38 AM (gKz+d)

Forgot the link for #91.

http://tinyurl.com/7rh5yoy

Posted by: GabeS at March 08, 2012 10:39 AM (gKz+d)

89 Obama is a stuttering clusterf*ck of a miserable failure.

Posted by: steevy at March 08, 2012 12:37 PM (7W3wI)

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