November 22, 2012
— rdbrewer They're attacking people in the streets. Attacking cars. Attacking front doors. People are complaining to the police. The police.
I have an idea: Eat them.
From CBS Boston:
Neighbors are on the offensive in Brookline after what some residents are describing as aggressive turkeys.“They were attacking the vehicle,” Karen Halvorson said outside her home in the Aspinwall Hill neighborhood.
After getting in her truck, a neighbor came and ran the birds off but it didnÂ’t stop there.
“Then, the turkeys came and started attacking my front door,” she said.
A second run-in came a few weeks ago as she walked nearby.
“I looked back and three of them charged me,” she explained.
She moved to the center of the street to avoid the animals, but it wasnÂ’t enough.
“The turkey flew in my face and scratched my neck,” she said.
Halvorson refuses to give up her walks so she has taken precautions.
“I went down to the hiking store and I got a hiking stick with a big ball on top of it. I walk with it all the time and now I never go without my phone,” she said.
(Emphasis mine.) Is it one of those really big phones from the 80's? The kind that are big enough to clock a turkey upside the head so that you can stick it in your fridge and then serve it later for dinner? If so, good thinking.
Verrier says there are basic things you can do to protect yourself. If you see a turkey, move to the other side of the street. Make noise or spray the turkey with water.
No, spray the turkey with Federal Premium Mag Shok Heavyweight turkey load.
More from Boston.com.
Posted by: rdbrewer at
04:45 AM
| Comments (395)
Post contains 311 words, total size 3 kb.
Posted by: JimboHoffa at November 21, 2012 04:59 PM (l5/b+)
Posted by: © Sponge at November 22, 2012 04:47 AM (nDcVA)
Posted by: Y-not at November 22, 2012 04:48 AM (5H6zj)
Posted by: Pendejo Grande at November 22, 2012 04:51 AM (nv2Ve)
But......But......YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!1! This is obviously a job for a Unionized Government Agency that is armed to the teeth!
Posted by: Mayor Bloomberg at November 22, 2012 04:54 AM (xehjI)
Posted by: Mayor Bloomberg at November 22, 2012 04:54 AM (xehjI)
A few of the comments must have come from Ace's Time Displacement Machine.
Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit. at November 22, 2012 04:55 AM (lOmbq)
Posted by: Jmel at November 22, 2012 04:55 AM (c+D8V)
Posted by: Y-not at November 22, 2012 04:55 AM (5H6zj)
Posted by: Y-not at November 22, 2012 04:57 AM (5H6zj)
What is best in life?
To baste your enemies, see them displayed before you with stuffing and cranberry sauce, and to hear the gobbles of the remaining hens.
Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit. at November 22, 2012 04:57 AM (lOmbq)
Posted by: Les Nesman, winner of last yeat's Buckeye News award at November 22, 2012 04:59 AM (xfWVe)
Posted by: Jay at November 22, 2012 05:01 AM (A5UMu)
Posted by: Y-not at November 22, 2012 05:01 AM (5H6zj)
Thus gay, communist blue-state once-America. What's so hard to understand? Except everything about them.
Posted by: Stu-22 at November 22, 2012 05:02 AM (k4bdL)
Posted by: Arthur Carlson at November 22, 2012 05:02 AM (RDP+N)
Posted by: Y-not at November 22, 2012 05:02 AM (5H6zj)
Posted by: Grey Fox at November 22, 2012 05:03 AM (LQjA9)
Posted by: In Cognito at November 22, 2012 05:04 AM (/tk/V)
Posted by: awkward davies at November 22, 2012 05:07 AM (USjX1)
Posted by: TheSev at November 22, 2012 05:08 AM (iHeMr)
Posted by: TheQuietMan at November 22, 2012 05:08 AM (mzIHh)
Posted by: pearlhandledpain at November 22, 2012 05:09 AM (hCPTB)
Posted by: Y-not at November 22, 2012 05:09 AM (5H6zj)
Posted by: Cicero Skip at November 22, 2012 05:09 AM (LyFx9)
Posted by: Hammer at November 22, 2012 05:10 AM (5buGz)
Posted by: dfbaskwill at November 22, 2012 05:11 AM (ndlFj)
Posted by: MtTB at November 22, 2012 05:11 AM (xehjI)
And, Happy Thanksgiving, Morons!
Posted by: lauraw at November 22, 2012 05:12 AM (yGblt)
Are ther any plans to bring back wolves and bears to Brookline? Cause if they do,things are going to get real interesting inm about 20 years. Go Bears.
We have plenty of alligators down here we can send them.
Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit. at November 22, 2012 05:12 AM (lOmbq)
Posted by: if my Aunt had nuts she'd be my Uncle at November 22, 2012 05:12 AM (8EKcT)
Posted by: Ben Franklin at November 22, 2012 05:12 AM (bAGA/)
Posted by: Cicero Skip at November 22, 2012 09:09 AM (LyFx9)
Only if you're a muslam and you're hunting goats.
Posted by: © Sponge at November 22, 2012 05:12 AM (nDcVA)
Posted by: Vic at November 22, 2012 05:12 AM (YdQQY)
After repeatedly clashing with co-anchors and overseeing plummeting ratings, the Today show´s Matt Lauer is reportedly being given the boot.
http://tinyurl.com/al6mxfj
Posted by: Doctor Fish at November 22, 2012 05:14 AM (lDWQr)
@ #13 BackwardsBoy: Was that Conan the Bastarian or Attila the Honey-BBQer?
Neither. It was Genghis Khan (of Cranberry).
Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit. at November 22, 2012 05:14 AM (lOmbq)
Posted by: Jean at November 22, 2012 05:15 AM (LnQr8)
Posted by: Walkers! at November 22, 2012 05:15 AM (TYO2p)
Posted by: Schrödinger's cat [/i] at November 22, 2012 05:15 AM (CsmCk)
Posted by: Walkers! at November 22, 2012 05:16 AM (TYO2p)
Posted by: awkward davies at November 22, 2012 05:16 AM (USjX1)
Posted by: JoJo at November 22, 2012 05:17 AM (MSrqi)
Well why not. They voted to bring back the Indian.
Maybe you could just slaughter every thirty-second turkey.
Posted by: comatus at November 22, 2012 05:17 AM (qaVK+)
Posted by: ktgreat at November 22, 2012 05:17 AM (Rcq5f)
Posted by: Mayor Bloomberg at November 22, 2012 08:54 AM (xehjI)
Chickens don't have teeth.
Posted by: Lessons from the Ceramic Throne at November 22, 2012 05:17 AM (ze9yk)
Only if your name is Barney Frank, and only the toms.
He prefers one of those pink lady-guns, I hear.
Posted by: Stu-22 at November 22, 2012 05:17 AM (k4bdL)
Posted by: Molly k. at November 22, 2012 05:18 AM (f+coI)
Posted by: Y-not at November 22, 2012 05:19 AM (5H6zj)
Posted by: RondinellaMamma at November 22, 2012 05:19 AM (53riN)
Posted by: sTevo at November 22, 2012 05:19 AM (VMcEw)
Posted by: Brave Sir Robin at November 22, 2012 05:19 AM (Nc/0B)
Posted by: Cicero Skip at November 22, 2012 05:20 AM (LyFx9)
Posted by: Stu-22 at November 22, 2012 05:20 AM (k4bdL)
Holy crap, the thread is back.
And yes, turkeys can fly. I had to replace a windshield last year because of one, and a pair of pants.
Posted by: JimboHoffa at November 22, 2012 05:21 AM (l5/b+)
IIRC there's a Federal law prohibiting discharge of a firearm within 300' of a structure. IIRC Brookline correctly, the whole place is pretty much within 300' of some sort of building.
Brookline (and Newton which is right next door) are the festering hard core of liberalism in MA.
I lived in both Newton and Brookline in the early 80's. Its Indian country... Warren, not dot.
Posted by: @PurpAv at November 22, 2012 05:21 AM (vE2xL)
Posted by: Y-not at November 22, 2012 05:21 AM (5H6zj)
I have never gone turkey hunting but I have a question. Do you have to rape them after you shoot them?
Posted by: Cicero Skip at November 22, 2012 09:09 AM (LyFx9)
No, you have to keep the proper sequence in mind:
Plunder, THEN burn;
Rape, THEN kill.
I'ts pretty messy when you get them backwards.
Posted by: Lessons from the Ceramic Throne at November 22, 2012 05:21 AM (ze9yk)
Posted by: if my Aunt had nuts she'd be my Uncle at November 22, 2012 05:22 AM (8EKcT)
Bronco Bamma on Thanksgiving.
"It’s a day to fight the overwhelming urge to take a nap — at least until after dinner."
Very inspirational and uplifting message from the Pretender-in-Chief.
Posted by: Doctor Fish at November 22, 2012 05:22 AM (lDWQr)
Turkeys are assholes.
Try having pea fowl in your neighborhood. They're much worse, mostly because you can't eat them (or at least, not that I know of).
They screech loudly at all hours of the night, and if you have a convertible, you won't have a top or interior for long. They'll destroy both, fly up into a nearby tree and squawk at you while you're calling your insurance agent.
Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit. at November 22, 2012 05:23 AM (lOmbq)
Posted by: Cicero Skip at November 22, 2012 05:23 AM (LyFx9)
Posted by: Y-not at November 22, 2012 05:23 AM (5H6zj)
The horse reared up and she slid of and landed on the ground. The turkey chicks flapped their wings and climbed up on her.
She said it happened so quick but 5 seconds felt like 2 minutes.
Posted by: sTevo at November 22, 2012 05:23 AM (VMcEw)
Posted by: Alfred Hitchcock at November 22, 2012 05:23 AM (AWmfW)
Posted by: In Cognito at November 22, 2012 05:24 AM (RYVE/)
Posted by: Y-not at November 22, 2012 05:24 AM (5H6zj)
Posted by: Molly k. at November 22, 2012 09:18 AM (f+coI)
Have the same problem here with Geese. Funny thing is, you nudge them with the car, they move.
Posted by: HH at November 22, 2012 05:24 AM (XXwdv)
Posted by: Count de Monet at November 22, 2012 05:25 AM (BAS5M)
Posted by: RondinellaMamma at November 22, 2012 05:27 AM (53riN)
They don't allow guns in Boston, do they?
IIRC there's a Federal law prohibiting discharge of a firearm within 300' of a structure. IIRC Brookline correctly, the whole place is pretty much within 300' of some sort of building.
Brookline (and Newton which is right next door) are the festering hard core of liberalism in MA.
I lived in both Newton and Brookline in the early 80's. Its Indian country... Warren, not dot.
Posted by: @PurpAv at November 22, 2012 09:21 AM (vE2xL)
Sounds like a place where some alternative turkey-collecting techniques might be useful - longbow, crossbow, snares, sticky surfaces, etc.,....
Posted by: Grey Fox at November 22, 2012 05:27 AM (LQjA9)
Try having pea fowl in your neighborhood. They're much worse, mostly because you can't eat them (or at least, not that I know of).
Peafowl is a fine meal.
Posted by: Cicero Kid at November 22, 2012 05:28 AM (ITxHU)
Posted by: In Cognito at November 22, 2012 05:28 AM (JCIjD)
Posted by: Vic at November 22, 2012 05:29 AM (YdQQY)
Doctor Fish @ 39:
.....Today show´s Matt Lauer is reportedly being given the boot.
Good. But as long as they attempt to stick with the usual morning venue of introducing retarded liberal douches, like Kim Kardashian on the best way to beat your maid until she gets the Turkey right, idiotic recipes that no one attempts to try, and saccharin infused news coverage, they'll continue failing.
Which is just fine by me.
Posted by: Sticky Wicket at November 22, 2012 05:29 AM (L7hol)
The turkey vultures seem pretty smart while they're picking over roadkill. They're not defiant.
Posted by: @PurpAv at November 22, 2012 05:29 AM (vE2xL)
Posted by: Cicero Skip at November 22, 2012 05:30 AM (LyFx9)
Posted by: phoenixgirl in L.A. at November 22, 2012 05:30 AM (6jHsU)
Posted by: Y-not at November 22, 2012 05:31 AM (5H6zj)
I have looked at federal laws extensively and I have never seen one for that. What I have seen is that local hunting laws have provisions like that and local gun laws prohibit discharging a firearm in ANY residential area.
That is what we have here and the reason I can't take the shotgun and shoot all the damn cow birds raiding my bird feeder (sheriff lives about 300 feet down the road)
Posted by: Vic at November 22, 2012 05:31 AM (YdQQY)
Posted by: Jean at November 22, 2012 05:32 AM (g2ldK)
---
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/.300_Whisper
Subsonic is catching on. Was gonna post this yesterday.
Posted by: sTevo at November 22, 2012 05:32 AM (VMcEw)
Posted by: Brave Sir Robin at November 22, 2012 05:33 AM (Nc/0B)
Posted by: Bloody Mary at November 22, 2012 05:34 AM (ZRoGl)
They could ship the turkeys to MD and tax them to death.
Top Five States with Tax Hike in Fiscal Cliff Stalemate
...Maryland was ranked second by the Tax Foundation because a four-person family there, with a median income of $106,707, would see its taxes go up 6.74 percent as a percentage of income, or about $7,194...
shar.es/GPkE0
Posted by: spypeach at November 22, 2012 05:34 AM (pwTow)
Posted by: if my Aunt had nuts she'd be my Uncle at November 22, 2012 05:36 AM (8EKcT)
Posted by: Les Nesman, winner of last yeat's Buckeye News award at November 22, 2012 08:59 AM (xfWVe)
Oh the humanity
Posted by: TheQuietMan at November 22, 2012 05:37 AM (mzIHh)
Remember after an hour of high heat, turn the oven down to 325. Nothing worse that an over cooked hobo.
Posted by: Billy Bob, pseudo intellectual at November 22, 2012 05:38 AM (wR+pz)
Posted by: In Cognito at November 22, 2012 05:38 AM (cWpCn)
Happy Thankgiving hope you all have a wonderful day with family and friends...
And a Happy Thanksgiving to you and the rest of the Moron Horde. We have a nice afternoon planned at the kid's place, DIL (who is a great cook) told us to be there in between football games. Also, we get to see the new great-grandbaby for the first time, he's almost a month old. B'Gal can hardly contain herself at the thought of cuddling a newborn. I'll try to show him the subleties of the West Coast offense and teach him to say "Roll Tide," which will be imprinted upon his little subconsciousness.
Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit. at November 22, 2012 05:38 AM (lOmbq)
If they're not into guns in MA, no biggie. Most people could kill a turkey with no more aid than a heavy stick or a well-aimed rock. No offense to turkeys, but they're more tasty treats than they are masters of self-defense. Maybe the State should give out turkey-clubbing licenses instead of free Oven Stuffers.
Posted by: Lincolntf at November 22, 2012 05:39 AM (tkoGU)
Posted by: Nottafinga! at November 22, 2012 05:39 AM (BAS5M)
http://is.gd/0zDhvk
and this
http://is.gd/C6t2M2
And finally one of my favorites from long ago, too much dinner
http://is.gd/O2idQK
Happy Thanksgiving Morons and Moronettes and all the bloggers here who we owe so much to.
Posted by: Vic at November 22, 2012 05:40 AM (YdQQY)
I agree not a real noise maker
My previous neighbor shot a skunk outside my bedroom window early one morning with a .22 short rifle, never heard a sound but sure did smell the results. The damn skunk was destroying his front porch. Damn thing died under the gas meter, and he pumped a few more rounds into him as I watched for witnesses
They also work on crows. Just remember they have a very short range and start dropping pretty quickly. I usually site in a little above Mr Crow. Opossums also love their taste.
A 177 is another alternative.
Posted by: Billy Bob, pseudo intellectual at November 22, 2012 05:41 AM (wR+pz)
4 They don't allow guns in Boston, do they?
No, but if they were turkeys from Brookline NH, they would be dinner by now!
Posted by: NHExpat at November 22, 2012 05:43 AM (bl6Iq)
If they're not into guns in MA, no biggie. Most people could killa turkeywith no more aid than a heavy stick or a well-aimed rock. No offense to turkeys, but they're moretasty treats thanthey are masters of self-defense. Maybe the Stateshould give out turkey-clubbing licenses instead of free Oven Stuffers.
Posted by: Lincolntf at November 22, 2012 09:39 AM (tkoGU)
Heh. They would learn very fast, though. They are one of the hardest animals in North America to hunt - they see very well and are very canny when they are used to being hunted. That is one of the things that is so funny about this story.
Posted by: Grey Fox at November 22, 2012 05:43 AM (LQjA9)
And finally one of my favorites from long ago, too much dinner
http://is.gd/O2idQK[/i]
Heh. Lol@cat.
Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit. at November 22, 2012 05:44 AM (lOmbq)
Not to worry, folks. She's working with the Town Council to organize a meeting about this. Yeah. Let's have a meeting - that'll show 'em.
***[shakes his head in bemusement]***
Posted by: Lessons from the Ceramic Throne at November 22, 2012 05:44 AM (ze9yk)
Posted by: awkward davies at November 22, 2012 05:45 AM (USjX1)
Posted by: awkward davies
---
A friend of mine uses a blind.
Posted by: sTevo at November 22, 2012 05:46 AM (VMcEw)
Posted by: BCochran1981 at November 22, 2012 05:48 AM (GEICT)
We are hereby calling on working people everywhere to protest the cruel conditions that Mr Of Spades forces his bloggers to labor under without health benefits or a living wage
We'd be there with you to, but Walmart has fantastic deals on 60 inch TVs and we don't want to miss out
Posted by: Blog Employees International Union at November 22, 2012 05:48 AM (wwsoB)
Posted by: Gen. Curtis LeCranberry at November 22, 2012 05:49 AM (MOWP1)
http://tinyurl.com/c9cyf93
Posted by: Billy Bob, pseudo intellectual at November 22, 2012 05:49 AM (wR+pz)
Posted by: In Cognito at November 22, 2012 05:49 AM (+jNI+)
They are tough and have very little meat.
Posted by: Vic at November 22, 2012 05:49 AM (YdQQY)
I wonder what early settlers would think of our pussified-by-over-legislation society? Posted by: RondinellaMamma at November 22, 2012 09:19 AM
They would hie themselves off to a new continent and start a new country down the road a bit.
Posted by: huerfano at November 22, 2012 05:49 AM (bAGA/)
The part of Cambridge I was staying in was pretty hostile ground. I was glad I had it. The news blacks out reporting street violence there, but there was a lot of it in east end of Cambridge.
I'm told a MA resident getting a carry permit is a hit/miss proposition dependent on local police whim.
Posted by: @PurpAv at November 22, 2012 05:50 AM (vE2xL)
Posted by: Michael Rittenhouse at November 22, 2012 05:51 AM (2Oas0)
We used to have a spot in Worcester (Grafton Hill if anyone knows Worcester) where the turkeys would block the road leading into a housing development all the time. I was working up there one day and I see this lady come out in her backyard with what must have been a 5 pound bag of seed and start calling and feeding dozens of them. She looked like a turkey shepherd surrounded by her flock. Not a very popular lady with the neighbors, it turned out.
Posted by: Lincolntf at November 22, 2012 05:51 AM (tkoGU)
Posted by: MoeRon at November 22, 2012 05:51 AM (PKCB1)
Posted by: awkward davies at November 22, 2012 05:51 AM (USjX1)
Posted by: Michael Rittenhouse at November 22, 2012 05:51 AM (2Oas0)
Yeah, that's it. The Rabbi told me no non kosher stuff in my yard.
Posted by: Billy Bob, pseudo intellectual at November 22, 2012 05:51 AM (wR+pz)
It's so obvious and simple.
Posted by: Marklar at November 22, 2012 05:51 AM (BeSEI)
Posted by: Michael Rittenhouse at November 22, 2012 05:52 AM (2Oas0)
Posted by: tcn at November 22, 2012 05:52 AM (VLG62)
Posted by: Michael Rittenhouse at November 22, 2012 09:51 AM (2Oas0)
But they abandoned that fairly quick after they almost starved to death and realized it did not work. The US will have to relearn the hard way.
Posted by: Vic at November 22, 2012 05:52 AM (YdQQY)
Yes, they were and they remained so until they discovered that the cure for starving to death was to allow private land ownership and letting people keep the fruits of their labor.
Posted by: huerfano at November 22, 2012 05:53 AM (bAGA/)
She's working with the Town Council to organize a meeting about this. Yeah. Let's have a meeting- that'll show 'em.
Quint stands to speak at the Brookline Town Council:
"Y'all know me. Know how I earn a livin'. I'll catch this bird for you, but it ain't gonna be easy. Bad bird. Not like going down the pond chasin' bluegills and tommycods. This bird , peck you whole. Little shakin', little tenderizin', an' down you go. And we gotta do it quick, that'll bring back your tourists, put all your businesses on a payin' basis. But it's not gonna be pleasant. I value my neck a lot more than three thousand bucks, chief. I'll find him for three, but I'll catch him, and kill him, for ten. But you've gotta make up your minds. If you want to stay alive, then ante up. If you want to play it cheap, be on welfare the whole winter. I don't want no volunteers, I don't want no mates, there's just too many captains on this island. $10,000 for me by myself. For that you get the neck, the gizzards, the whole damn thing."
Posted by: Count de Monet at November 22, 2012 05:53 AM (BAS5M)
Posted by: Michael Rittenhouse at November 22, 2012 09:52 AM (2Oas0)
You can no longer post a link directly in the comments. You can post a shortened link text in the comments that people can use to open in new tab.
Posted by: Vic at November 22, 2012 05:54 AM (YdQQY)
Posted by: Golan Globus at November 22, 2012 05:55 AM (/1U3u)
Posted by: awkward davies at November 22, 2012 05:55 AM (USjX1)
Until the greedy CEO of Ace of Spades pay them a living wage with health benefits, links are on strike
Posted by: Blog Employees International Union at November 22, 2012 05:56 AM (wwsoB)
Posted by: Lincolntf at November 22, 2012 09:51 AM (tkoGU)
That is another idea. Soak your bird seed in anti freeze for a week. Give to turkeys liberally. Watch turkeys die on their roost that night.
Will kill anything that eats it, so don't let your dog cat etc eat any of it. The local hobo is OK.
Posted by: Billy Bob, pseudo intellectual at November 22, 2012 05:56 AM (wR+pz)
Check the temperature with an instant read thermometer in the deepest part of the thigh but not touching the bone. I suspect it would be underdone, though.
Posted by: huerfano at November 22, 2012 05:56 AM (bAGA/)
Posted by: awkward davies at November 22, 2012 09:55 AM (USjX1)
Maybe he didn't get any good ones down in GA.
Posted by: Vic at November 22, 2012 05:59 AM (YdQQY)
__________
Is Mother Robinson still locked up in the attic? Can't she at least tap out "Happy Thanksgiving" on the windowpane?
Posted by: Baldy at November 22, 2012 05:59 AM (opS9C)
The cashier didn't know what to make of that.
Posted by: Billy Bob, pseudo intellectual at November 22, 2012 05:59 AM (wR+pz)
Supposedly a new blog is in the works to restore a lot of those features.
Posted by: Vic at November 22, 2012 06:01 AM (YdQQY)
They reinstated it when their Beemers and Mercedes got banged up badly from deer collisions
Lefties and unintended consequences; Perfect Together
Posted by: kbdabear at November 22, 2012 06:01 AM (wwsoB)
Posted by: In Cognito at November 22, 2012 06:01 AM (6Zy+s)
When the gobbler menace shows at your doorstep, run...run and do not stop.
Happy Thanksgiving, loonies.
Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at November 22, 2012 06:02 AM (Ihhv1)
Texas/Lions early.
Redskins/Cowboys middle.
Pats/Jets late.
Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at November 22, 2012 06:03 AM (vnNPt)
Posted by: Vic at November 22, 2012 09:31 AM (YdQQY)
"I shot the sheriff,
But I did not shoot the deputy."
Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at November 22, 2012 06:03 AM (GsoHv)
Posted by: Vic at November 22, 2012 06:03 AM (YdQQY)
Posted by: Michael Rittenhouse at November 22, 2012 09:51 AM (2Oas0
Not communist. They were what Marx would rather disdainfully call something like "utopian socialist" (I can't remember the exact phrase) as opposed to his "scientific socialism." They didn't have the whole class warfare ideology, the theory of history that Marx came up with, the expansionism, nor, of course, the militant atheism.
Socialism is disfunctional, and gets progressively more so the bigger the group it is applied to. Communism is a virulent plague.
Posted by: Grey Fox at November 22, 2012 06:04 AM (LQjA9)
Posted by: Running Hobo at November 22, 2012 06:04 AM (l1oyw)
__________
Is Mother Robinson still locked up in the attic? Can't she at least tap out "Happy Thanksgiving" on the windowpane?
Never mind the m-i-l, since Obama pardoned the turkey Bo better careful he doesn't end up the main course.
Posted by: Retread at November 22, 2012 06:04 AM (zxitI)
Posted by: Ian S. at November 22, 2012 06:06 AM (OevbG)
Posted by: willow at November 22, 2012 06:06 AM (hX8cq)
Posted by: BurtTC at November 22, 2012 06:07 AM (BeSEI)
Posted by: In Cognito at November 22, 2012 06:07 AM (/BwGa)
Posted by: BlueFalcon in Boston at November 22, 2012 06:08 AM (KCvsd)
Posted by: Billy Bob, pseudo intellectual at November 22, 2012 09:56 AM (wR+pz)
Have you done this, or have you heard of it being done?
Because I have a squirrel and chipmunk problem that is getting to be a pain in the ass.
I usually put peanut butter mixed with rat poison into a PVC pipe for them. It keeps the cats and dogs from eating it, but it's a chore. Your technique sounds easier.
Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at November 22, 2012 06:09 AM (GsoHv)
________
That is true. I just find it odd how little press the MIL gets.
Posted by: Baldy at November 22, 2012 06:09 AM (opS9C)
Posted by: some dope at November 22, 2012 06:09 AM (+kznc)
Posted by: willow at November 22, 2012 06:10 AM (hX8cq)
Posted by: Bruce at November 22, 2012 06:10 AM (h/h0n)
Just wait until they require training classes for "free speech."
Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at November 22, 2012 06:10 AM (GsoHv)
That's because global warming has killed all the polar bears.
Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at November 22, 2012 06:11 AM (ltdV/)
Wild Turkey makes for one hell of a good soup because they are all dark meat. Chunk the meat and freeze it in 1lb packs then simmer the rest of the bird to get a few gallons of stock. Oh man, I would be out there every week with a handfull of corn and a machette, calling "Soups on!"
Posted by: Walknot at November 22, 2012 06:12 AM (cey9b)
Posted by: rickl at November 22, 2012 06:12 AM (sdi6R)
Posted by: awkward davies at November 22, 2012 06:12 AM (USjX1)
Sweet. Two of them got fired for it...it was a conspiracy of stupid.
Posted by: @PurpAv at November 22, 2012 06:12 AM (vE2xL)
A buddy of mine used to give me wild goose all of the time. It was pretty good, though not as good as wild duck.
But it was from the Pacific fly-way, and they were fat from Central Valley grain.
I'm not sure I would want to eat one of the disgusting suburban geese.
Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at November 22, 2012 06:13 AM (GsoHv)
Because I have a squirrel and chipmunk problem that is getting to be a pain in the ass.
I usually put peanut butter mixed with rat poison into a PVC pipe for them. It keeps the cats and dogs from eating it, but it's a chore. Your technique sounds easier.
Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at November 22, 2012 10:09 AM (GsoHv)
Yes. Mixing in rat poison is good for the chipmunks. I usually just pour a half box down the hole. Seems to work. Works on alligators too, but you soak fish in it. Anti Freeze is very sweet tasting, so do not use they near any pets, unless of course, they are not your pets and are a pain in the ass.
Posted by: Billy Bob, pseudo intellectual at November 22, 2012 06:13 AM (wR+pz)
Posted by: Billy Bob, pseudo intellectual at November 22, 2012 06:13 AM (wR+pz)
Posted by: BurtTC at November 22, 2012 10:07 AM (BeSEI).....................
I suppose you could be PC about it and root for the team with the "incompetent" qb.
Posted by: Molly k. at November 22, 2012 06:14 AM (f+coI)
Posted by: Cicero Skip at November 22, 2012 06:14 AM (LyFx9)
Imagine how we would be overrun by them if Ben Franklin had gotten his way, and the turkey had been selected our national bird instead of the bald eagle!
Not to mention how hungry at Thanksgiving.
Posted by: sherlock at November 22, 2012 06:15 AM (f29LO)
Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at November 22, 2012 10:11 AM (ltdV/)
Well, I for one am glad for that.
Polar bears rip up the roses and make a mess of the barbecue.
Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at November 22, 2012 06:15 AM (GsoHv)
Regarding chipmunks, google bucket of death. 5 gallon bucket half filled with water. Sunflower seed and a plank. Will not drown squirrels though. I have a chipper problem here. I end up taking out about 50 of them a year.
Little tunneling bastards.
Posted by: Bruce at November 22, 2012 06:15 AM (h/h0n)
Posted by: awkward davies at November 22, 2012 06:15 AM (USjX1)
Posted by: some dope at November 22, 2012 06:16 AM (+kznc)
Posted by: BCochran1981 at November 22, 2012 06:17 AM (GEICT)
Posted by: Elizabethe at November 22, 2012 06:17 AM (sC7EY)
That is true. I just find it odd how little press the MIL gets.
They just don't want us to realize there is yet another member of the Obama family sponging off the taxpayer.
Posted by: Retread at November 22, 2012 06:18 AM (zxitI)
Posted by: Y-not at November 22, 2012 06:18 AM (5H6zj)
Posted by: In Cognito at November 22, 2012 10:01 AM (6Zy+s)
Are any of you all old enough to remember that Thanksgiving use to be the biggest college football day of the year. Every main rival played on T day.
When I grew up, T day was, up early. Hunt quail. Go to THE GAME. Return, dads' bombed by now, eat Thanksgiving dinner. Go to bed.
The 50's were fun.
Posted by: Billy Bob, pseudo intellectual at November 22, 2012 06:18 AM (wR+pz)
What gives you the right to kill other animals? Who do you think you are? The ruler of the world? Every animal has an equal right to life, liberty and the persuit of hapineSs!!!
People like you think that you can just take what you want for yourselves and eat what you want and kill kilkl kill!
Man is just one speciies on Gaia, and we are no more important than anyone else!
Posted by: PETA Rules! at November 22, 2012 06:19 AM (GsoHv)
i might consider that rape too.
Posted by: willow at November 22, 2012 06:20 AM (hX8cq)
Posted by: Cicero Skip at November 22, 2012 06:20 AM (LyFx9)
Posted by: Cicero Skip at November 22, 2012 06:21 AM (LyFx9)
Posted by: Elizabethe at November 22, 2012 06:21 AM (sC7EY)
I recall reading an article by one of the reporters from a MA paper (don't remember which one) who tried to get a permit. She detailed the horror story of all the requirements, permits, fees etc.
After 6 months she had spent hundreds of hours and about $1500 in fees and assorted costs and still did not have the permit.
Posted by: Vic at November 22, 2012 06:22 AM (YdQQY)
Posted by: some dope at November 22, 2012 06:23 AM (+kznc)
Posted by: Elizabethe at November 22, 2012 06:23 AM (sC7EY)
Here's the perfect metaphor for the blue-state model of life: to be so timid, so helpless, that you're intimidated by a turkey. What's next -banning antibiotics, on the grounds that they harm the poor, helpless streptococci in your body?
Posted by: Cotton Mather at November 22, 2012 06:24 AM (w/wSF)
Posted by: BCochran1981 at November 22, 2012 06:25 AM (GEICT)
Posted by: PETA Rules! at November 22, 2012 10:19 AM (GsoHv)
That you Greg?
Posted by: Billy Bob, pseudo intellectual at November 22, 2012 06:26 AM (wR+pz)
Boiled alive? I think the PETA guy doesn't know his turkey from his
The two pumpkin pies baking in my oven are making me thankful. Also very hungry.
Posted by: Retread at November 22, 2012 06:26 AM (zxitI)
How much would you pay to see a reporter interview Elizabeth Warren on Thanksgiving and ask her if she has any distant relatives from Turkey? If the poor bastard lost his job, at least he would never have to buy a drink in a bar again, right?
Posted by: sherlock at November 22, 2012 06:26 AM (f29LO)
They lie often and prolifically .
Peta is a weird crew, while I think animals should not be mistreated , They seem to absolutely value an idea more than actuality.
I believe they kill animals to 'save them from having to tolerate human companions?
Posted by: willow at November 22, 2012 06:28 AM (hX8cq)
Posted by: kbdabear at November 22, 2012 06:28 AM (wwsoB)
Posted by: Y-not at November 22, 2012 06:29 AM (5H6zj)
Posted by: Long Island at November 22, 2012 06:29 AM (hl8SI)
i might consider that rape too."
True story. Wife, socialite, not a cook. First Thanksgiving she cooks the turkey and it is great. She keeps complaining that she could not get any stuffing in the bird.
She left the neck, gimlet plastic bag in the bird that she cooked.
Did it again, two years later.
Now, my job. ask for the bag, BEFORE the bird hits the oven.
Her sister is a great cook. A tip, coat the bird with mayonnaise before you cook it, the mayonnaise melts and it self bastes.
Posted by: Billy Bob, pseudo intellectual at November 22, 2012 06:29 AM (wR+pz)
Posted by: IllTemperedCur at November 22, 2012 06:30 AM (c2oll)
Posted by: Y-not at November 22, 2012 10:18 AM (5H6zj)
This is the first I have heard of it, but it sounds like she was exercising her right to free speech, which I think is admirable. And her employer exercised his right to fire her for being a dumb-ass, which I think is admirable.
Posted by: PETA Rules! at November 22, 2012 06:30 AM (GsoHv)
Posted by: BlueFalcon in Boston at November 22, 2012 06:31 AM (KCvsd)
Posted by: Lefty Mongtard at November 22, 2012 06:31 AM (Kflw4)
Posted by: Precious Liberal Child at November 22, 2012 06:32 AM (hBu9X)
Posted by: Y-not at November 22, 2012 06:32 AM (5H6zj)
Posted by: WalrusRex at November 22, 2012 06:32 AM (VlXYw)
I had not known about mayonnaise, thank you for tip!
Posted by: willow at November 22, 2012 06:33 AM (hX8cq)
Posted by: Y-not at November 22, 2012 06:33 AM (5H6zj)
I lived in the South End (two blocks off the St Pat's Day parade) for several years, had a friend at Hahvahd who lived in Somerville.
Posted by: butch at November 22, 2012 06:34 AM (nK2Sx)
Posted by: EDU Marx Indoctrination Center at November 22, 2012 06:34 AM (Kflw4)
I think I might try putting bacon over the breast of my turkey this year. Anyone ever tried that?
Posted by: Tami at November 22, 2012 06:34 AM (X6akg)
And I'd rather bake than cook. Pity I can't live on cake and pie and cookies and such.
If there is a Trader Joe's near you try their Tiramasu (sp?) sometime. Heaven on a plate.
Posted by: Retread at November 22, 2012 06:34 AM (zxitI)
Posted by: WalrusRex at November 22, 2012 06:35 AM (VlXYw)
It works to. The skin is yummy. Going to my hippie sister in laws so she won;t do it, but damn, she can cook. Have to take my own diet cooks, cause you know, Nutri sweet will kill you.
Posted by: Billy Bob, pseudo intellectual at November 22, 2012 06:35 AM (wR+pz)
Posted by: Elizabethe at November 22, 2012 06:35 AM (sC7EY)
Posted by: Y-not at November 22, 2012 06:36 AM (5H6zj)
Posted by: red speck at November 22, 2012 06:36 AM (9Xu0X)
Posted by: Taro Tsujimoto at November 22, 2012 06:36 AM (celt+)
Posted by: RWC at November 22, 2012 06:36 AM (vujA1)
Posted by: red speck at November 22, 2012 06:37 AM (9Xu0X)
Posted by: Rainbow Utopia Sings Kumbaya at November 22, 2012 06:37 AM (Kflw4)
Posted by: willow at November 22, 2012 10:33 AM (hX8cq)
You are welcome. You know, of course, you can ONLY use Duke's mayonnaise, right?
That Yankee stuff doesn't work, he he.
Posted by: Billy Bob, pseudo intellectual at November 22, 2012 06:37 AM (wR+pz)
Posted by: BlueFalcon in Boston at November 22, 2012 06:38 AM (KCvsd)
Posted by: Cricket at November 22, 2012 06:38 AM (2ArJQ)
Posted by: Karl Skidmarx Turkey Leader at November 22, 2012 06:39 AM (Kflw4)
We got wild turkeys on Staten Island and because this is New York, their surviving the hurricane was considered a news worthy story.
And regarding the Canadian goose culling, they did this in NYC maybe two years ago in early summer. My wife ran into some crazed animal activist who wanted to have murder and kidnapping charges pressed against everyone involved, the NYPD declined to take a report.
And Happy Thanksgiving to all!
Posted by: Penfold at November 22, 2012 06:39 AM (7jGlJ)
Posted by: Hrothgar - L.I.B or SMOD for the Children at November 22, 2012 06:39 AM (Cnqmv)
Posted by: rickl at November 22, 2012 06:39 AM (sdi6R)
Posted by: torabora at November 22, 2012 06:41 AM (j5ex0)
Took a canal trip in England once - self-drive kind. You work the (ancient) locks yourself, and it can be hard work. So we come up to a lock and there sits 5 swans, Mom, Dad, 3 swanlets(?). The are waiting for me to open the lock, instead of walking around!
Opened and drove the boat in, and they zip in right ahead of us. Raise / lower the water whatever, and open the lock, and they swim out ahead of us, and then take off flying and disappear!
Cruise leisurely to the next lock around the corner... and there they are, waiting to get in! Crazy Brits!
Posted by: sherlock at November 22, 2012 06:41 AM (f29LO)
Posted by: Truman North at November 22, 2012 06:41 AM (I2LwF)
Posted by: Turkey Jihad! Brotherhood at November 22, 2012 06:41 AM (hBu9X)
See bottom of wiki.
http://tinyurl.com/2vdlo8
Posted by: Billy Bob, pseudo intellectual at November 22, 2012 06:41 AM (wR+pz)
Posted by: Cricket at November 22, 2012 06:41 AM (2ArJQ)
Posted by: Minnfidel at November 22, 2012 06:43 AM (bXdYS)
Posted by: MiniTrue at November 22, 2012 06:43 AM (Kflw4)
Posted by: Cricket at November 22, 2012 10:41 AM (2ArJQ)
Yeah, that's what I'm thinking....and really, what can go wrong adding bacon to anything.
Posted by: Tami at November 22, 2012 06:44 AM (X6akg)
If you have time, you could mix some herbs (thyme or poultry seasoning) and softened butter together and then slide the mixture between the turkey skin and the meat.
Re bacon over the breast, I have a co-worker who told me her husband did that once, tasted good, but i don't think the skin under the bacon got crispy.
Posted by: Penfold at November 22, 2012 06:45 AM (7jGlJ)
Posted by: BCochran1981 at November 22, 2012 06:45 AM (GEICT)
This news story is only a story because it's in a lefty area. If these things were attacking people where I live, well, there would be no story as the problem would get "solved".
Happy Thanksgiving to all.
Posted by: Minnfidel at November 22, 2012 06:45 AM (bXdYS)
Posted by: Animal Farm at November 22, 2012 06:45 AM (Kflw4)
I think I might try putting bacon over the breast of my turkey this year. Anyone ever tried that?
Turbacon?
Posted by: rickl at November 22, 2012 10:39 AM (sdi6R)
Doesn't work, the bacon burns after a couple of hours in the oven and gives the bird a burnt taste. Bacon best on small birds grilled, not baked.
Surprised no one has mentioned the deep fryer. Son did that with his first wild turkey. Besides almost burning the driveway up, the damn thing tasted great.
Posted by: Billy Bob, pseudo intellectual at November 22, 2012 06:45 AM (wR+pz)
Posted by: Cicero Skip at November 22, 2012 06:46 AM (LyFx9)
Posted by: Billy Bob, pseudo intellectual at November 22, 2012 06:46 AM (wR+pz)
============
This was my other choice. Softened butter and fresh sage chopped up.
Hmmm......both?
Posted by: Tami at November 22, 2012 06:47 AM (X6akg)
Posted by: Evilpens at November 22, 2012 06:47 AM (ck76k)
Posted by: Cricket at November 22, 2012 10:41 AM (2ArJQ)
Never thought of tin foil. Still, go with the mayonnaise. Easier.
Posted by: Billy Bob, pseudo intellectual at November 22, 2012 06:48 AM (wR+pz)
In Soviet Brookline, you don't hunt turkey. Turkey hunt you!
Posted by: mrp at November 22, 2012 06:48 AM (HjPtV)
Posted by: Elizabethe at November 22, 2012 06:49 AM (+Di4R)
Posted by: Jinx the Cat at November 22, 2012 06:49 AM (l3vZN)
Duke's only, of course, he he. I make no representations for anyone using the mayonnaise that starts with an H.
Posted by: Billy Bob, pseudo intellectual at November 22, 2012 06:50 AM (wR+pz)
Posted by: Minnfidel at November 22, 2012 06:51 AM (bXdYS)
Posted by: Ed Anger at November 22, 2012 06:51 AM (tOkJB)
Posted by: Lincolntf at November 22, 2012 06:52 AM (tkoGU)
Depends on how much you like your wife. Or how much you like sleeping with one eye open.
Posted by: Retread at November 22, 2012 06:53 AM (zxitI)
Posted by: Minnfidel at November 22, 2012 10:51 AM (bXdYS)
YES. You've already lost several hours. Begin immediately to catch up.
Posted by: Billy Bob, the guy who drinks in SC at November 22, 2012 06:54 AM (wR+pz)
Posted by: Walkers! at November 22, 2012 06:54 AM (TYO2p)
Posted by: Lincolntf at November 22, 2012 10:52 AM (tkoGU)
Hope you have your Valu Rite already, ABC stores closed today.
Posted by: Billy Bob, the guy who drinks in SC at November 22, 2012 06:55 AM (wR+pz)
Posted by: Elizabethe at November 22, 2012 06:55 AM (sC7EY)
Posted by: Truman North at November 22, 2012 06:55 AM (I2LwF)
Posted by: Brother Cavil at November 22, 2012 06:56 AM (vkUBG)
Posted by: Golden Post-Racial Utopia at November 22, 2012 06:56 AM (Kflw4)
Posted by: Lincolntf at November 22, 2012 06:56 AM (tkoGU)
Posted by: Minnfidel at November 22, 2012 06:56 AM (bXdYS)
Posted by: Elizabethe at November 22, 2012 06:56 AM (sC7EY)
The Brookline Chief of Police is so anti-gun he literally will not let his own police officers carry guns off duty.
Let THAT insanity sink in for a moment.
Posted by: Looking closely at November 22, 2012 06:57 AM (+PDlV)
Posted by: Minnfidel at November 22, 2012 10:51 AM (bXdYS)
Can't ever start too soon.
Posted by: GGE of the Moron Horde, NC Chapter at November 22, 2012 06:58 AM (yh0zB)
Posted by: Lincolntf at November 22, 2012 06:59 AM (tkoGU)
Posted by: Elizabethe at November 22, 2012 06:59 AM (sC7EY)
Posted by: LASue at November 22, 2012 06:59 AM (Iok9N)
Spending time with libturd commies on any day of the year is hellish mano.
Ditto. I try not to engage them in conversation because of the stupidity. At least with 18 people, there is some avoidance available. And there is always alcohol.
Posted by: Infidel at November 22, 2012 06:59 AM (6gXNv)
Clear liquor in egg nog? Clear rum, maybe.
Bourbon, Mt Gay Rum, Rye, or even cheap scotch.
NEVER Vodka.
Posted by: Billy Bob, the guy who drinks in SC at November 22, 2012 07:00 AM (wR+pz)
Posted by: John W. at November 22, 2012 07:00 AM (K7KaF)
Posted by: navybrat at November 22, 2012 07:00 AM (r1ty1)
Posted by: Minnfidel at November 22, 2012 07:00 AM (bXdYS)
Posted by: Lincolntf at November 22, 2012 10:56 AM (tkoGU)
Went to the Teeter this morning, all wine and beer is for sale in CLT.
Posted by: Billy Bob, the guy who drinks in SC at November 22, 2012 07:01 AM (wR+pz)
Posted by: Stimpson J. Cat at November 22, 2012 07:01 AM (Kflw4)
Posted by: Truman North at November 22, 2012 07:02 AM (I2LwF)
Posted by: Minnfidel at November 22, 2012 10:51 AM (bXdYS)
Just remember, you can't drink all day, unless you start in the morning.
Posted by: Billy Bob, the guy who drinks in SC at November 22, 2012 07:02 AM (wR+pz)
Posted by: pep at November 22, 2012 07:02 AM (6TB1Z)
Posted by: Antoine Dobson at November 22, 2012 07:02 AM (pwyhn)
Put some crime scene tape across the front door, some beet juice on the sidewalk, and have a few neighbors mill around like detectives when they show up.
He'll go away.
Posted by: @PurpAv at November 22, 2012 07:02 AM (vE2xL)
Posted by: some dope at November 22, 2012 07:02 AM (+kznc)
Actually, since none of them are commie sympathizers we get along great.
Posted by: GGE of the Moron Horde, NC Chapter at November 22, 2012 07:03 AM (yh0zB)
Posted by: Hate them they hate you at November 22, 2012 07:03 AM (Kflw4)
Posted by: Lincolntf at November 22, 2012 07:03 AM (tkoGU)
Oh, and she's gorgeous, Christian, and smart as a whip. No, I won't give you her email address.
Posted by: pep at November 22, 2012 07:04 AM (6TB1Z)
So he likes to rub it in? While he eats your food? As someone else said, get to drinking, pronto. And try ignoring him. It might enrage him and turn all that good food in his stomach to ashes.
Posted by: Retread at November 22, 2012 07:04 AM (zxitI)
Posted by: Elizabethe at November 22, 2012 07:05 AM (sC7EY)
Posted by: pep at November 22, 2012 11:04 AM (6TB1Z)
and probably young enough to be my daughter...
Posted by: GGE of the Moron Horde, NC Chapter at November 22, 2012 07:05 AM (yh0zB)
Posted by: Minnfidel at November 22, 2012 07:05 AM (bXdYS)
Posted by: it's only a flesh wound at November 22, 2012 07:05 AM (Kflw4)
Make him a special plate...heavy on the Habanero and Scotch Bonnet peppers.
Posted by: @PurpAv at November 22, 2012 07:06 AM (vE2xL)
Posted by: no we can't at November 22, 2012 07:08 AM (Kflw4)
Posted by: Minnfidel at November 22, 2012 07:08 AM (bXdYS)
I remember fondly my time as a child, seeing old relatives and their friends whose family would not have them due to serious personality defects. The fist fights and merciless teasing at the hands of the exceptionally-dressed Robbie, Whitney and little Logan C., who would not abide my hand-me-down ragamuffin appearance or my borderline Asberger's; the heat turned up to 78 to simulate a roaring fire in the fireplace; and the drunken fathers snoring in front of Cinemax starting shortly before dinner. The very thought of those four days in November made the four hour car trips seem like the nicest part of any thanksgiving celebration.
Good times, made even better by the unbiquitous Holiday Egg Nog, that even today, softens those fuzzy memories into a bearable lint ball of hate and shame.
Have I shared my recipe for Holiday Egg Nog? It's never too early for Holiday Egg Nog.
Truman North's Holiday Egg Nog
First, get some egg nog, like you buy at the store*.
Pour it into a large crystal bowl with a serving ladle.
Sprinkle some nutmeg on top.
Very festive.
*if you intend to serve this at a gathering with my relatives, make sure to add clear liquor in a 1:1 ratio with the egg nog. You will thank me by the time you've had your third or fourth glass, as everyone will seem more pleasant.
Posted by: Truman North at November 22, 2012 10:55 AM (I2LwF)
Ah, don't you just love the holidays?
Posted by: GGE of the Moron Horde, NC Chapter at November 22, 2012 07:08 AM (yh0zB)
A clutch of good crossbow bolts launched in the dark of the moon should do the trick. Like that old household cleaner from back in the 50's: Works fast, leaves no marks. And makes no nasty "bang" sounds to upset Liberals. The only drawback is, what do you do with the turkey corpses? Wild turkeys are gamy, dry, and stringy, especially ones that are as physically active as the Brookline ones are.
Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!
Posted by: Minnie Rodent (I took down my FB account too) at November 22, 2012 07:08 AM (S3rrR)
Posted by: Vinny Gardoosh at November 22, 2012 07:10 AM (Kflw4)
Posted by: Long Island at November 22, 2012 07:13 AM (hl8SI)
Posted by: Truman North at November 22, 2012 07:13 AM (I2LwF)
BIOT, damn Wal-Mart is now our best grocery story but their meat department sucks.
Posted by: Vic at November 22, 2012 07:13 AM (YdQQY)
The turkeys are just like liberals. When hunted they are scarce.
When given protection by the government and free food, they quickly become terrorists.
Posted by: GeorgePatton at November 22, 2012 07:14 AM (qBLA2)
The union goons at Giant and Safeway can kiss my ass.
Posted by: GeorgePatton at November 22, 2012 07:16 AM (qBLA2)
This mix has NONE, nada, zero. I imagine its going to suck but I am going to try it. Can't today though. Going over to MIL's and evil libtard SIL from Charlotte will be there. Last time I was there and we were drinking me and her got into it big time.
Posted by: Vic at November 22, 2012 07:18 AM (YdQQY)
Posted by: the lone lemon at November 22, 2012 07:20 AM (xXhWA)
Only 4 hours til my idiot libera,l drug adeled brother in law gets here. My wife made me promise to behave. But I am wondering if I should start drinking now?
Like you have to ask around here?
Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit. at November 22, 2012 07:21 AM (lOmbq)
We used to Have Harris Teeter, Winn-Dixie, and Food Lion. They are all gone now.
Posted by: Vic at November 22, 2012 07:21 AM (YdQQY)
Posted by: Truman North at November 22, 2012 07:22 AM (I2LwF)
Retread @ 322:
So he likes to rub it in? While he eats your food? As someone else said, get to drinking, pronto. And try ignoring him. It might enrage him and turn all that good food in his stomach to ashes.
Also, tell your libturd relations that all food was prepared from recipes by conservative presidents/leaders and their wives. Ronald Reagan turkey, Barbara Bush corn bread stuffing, Laura Bush sweet potatoes, Ann Romney pumpkin pie, etc.
Posted by: Sticky Wicket at November 22, 2012 07:23 AM (L7hol)
One of my sergeants when I was in Iowa Nat'l Guard was detailed to set up our GP Medium ops tent. While out selecting a site in a nearby pasture (weekend training ops) he came upon a wild turkey just next to the barb-wire fence in front of him. Just as he was approaching the fence, the turkey took flight. Just out of reaction, he reached up and grabbed, and by-God, caught the damn thing by its legs. The sergeant was built like a small Sherman tank- he snared that bird, hugged it like a linebacker heading for a Superbowl touchdown, and brought it over to us.
He ate well that night.
Posted by: Mr Wolf, Esq at November 22, 2012 07:24 AM (UIAT6)
The union goons at Giant and Safeway can kiss my ass.
Posted by: GeorgePatton at November 22, 2012 11:16 AM (qBLA2)
HT is union too.
Posted by: Billy Bob, the guy who drinks in SC at November 22, 2012 07:24 AM (wR+pz)
Posted by: butch at November 22, 2012 07:24 AM (nK2Sx)
Posted by: Vic at November 22, 2012 10:01 AM (YdQQY)
A prophecy!
No one knows the day or the hour, but may it be true!
Posted by: Meremortal, It's Burning Out Of Control, Run! at November 22, 2012 07:24 AM (1Y+hH)
Last week I asked wifey who was going to be there and she listed that SIL. I said, well I won't be there then because I'll sit at home and have hydraulic TG dinner.
That went over like a fart on a hard church pew.
Posted by: Vic at November 22, 2012 07:24 AM (YdQQY)
Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit. at November 22, 2012 07:24 AM (lOmbq)
Posted by: eman at November 22, 2012 07:26 AM (bWwMZ)
Posted by: Dept. of Accuracy Dept. at November 22, 2012 07:26 AM (BAnPT)
Posted by: eman at November 22, 2012 07:28 AM (bWwMZ)
I have heard a bag of oranges leaves no marks on the skin.
A pound of butter in a hunting sock.....
Drinking now....first bottle of home-made pear wine. Cheers!
Posted by: Cicero Kid at November 22, 2012 07:28 AM (ITxHU)
My parents had a pair of swans for a while. They looked gorgeous and placid floating in the pond. Their wings were clipped, but when they were new they would occasionally take off running and we would have to chase them down.
They are no fun to deal with, and can really give you a whack with the bone along the front of their wings.
Posted by: Meremortal, It's Burning Out Of Control, Run! at November 22, 2012 07:29 AM (1Y+hH)
Posted by: Dept. of Accuracy Dept. at November 22, 2012 07:30 AM (BAnPT)
Posted by: T.Hunter - let it burn at November 22, 2012 07:31 AM (EZl54)
I went down to the hiking store and I got a hiking stick with a big ball on top of it.
There's nothing like a good piece of hickory.
Posted by: Preacher at November 22, 2012 07:32 AM (ITxHU)
Posted by: Bevel Lemelisk at November 22, 2012 07:32 AM (uhAkr)
Posted by: Infidel at November 22, 2012 07:32 AM (6gXNv)
In tyrannical Massachusetts the rebellion is afoot.
Posted by: Dept. of Accuracy Dept. at November 22, 2012 07:32 AM (BAnPT)
Posted by: eman at November 22, 2012 07:32 AM (bWwMZ)
Posted by: RWC at November 22, 2012 07:34 AM (vujA1)
By the way, in case you missed it...that horrid woman who was disrespectful at the Tomb Of The Unknown Soldier has "resigned" from her job. The idiot woman who helped her by taking the ugly photo has also "resigned".
Up the butt, be-yotches. Welcome to the Jane Fonda Butthead Photo Club.
Posted by: Meremortal, It's Burning Out Of Control, Run! at November 22, 2012 07:35 AM (1Y+hH)
Posted by: Gordon undead Ramsay at November 22, 2012 07:36 AM (9HhTH)
Posted by: EROWMER at November 22, 2012 07:39 AM (kxlCQ)
I had just come off a ranch in Oklahoma, and without thinking told the folk about how we dealt with the problem. Every year, folk from the city would come out into the country and release pets they didn't want. Most of them starved, but some of the larger dogs formed feral packs that were a big problem for us -- they would attack calving cows and kill both the calf and the cow. They caused other problems as well. They were worse than the coyotes and wolves we normally saw, and a lot more numerous.
Since the area I lived in was pretty sparsely populated, we pretty much knew every family that lived within 20 miles, and we knew their pets and working dogs. So, if we were ever out in our trucks and saw a dog we didn't recognize running through a pasture, we just stopped the truck (or slowed down a little) and shot the thing.
After I said that, you could have heard a pin drop. Turned out that it was a PETA-heavy group. From that point on, I was marked as a serial murderer.
Posted by: billo at November 22, 2012 07:41 AM (bBB2L)
Posted by: Fritz at November 22, 2012 07:41 AM (mqdAz)
Yup, we have the same problem here, but we never let the stray dog packs get large enough to be as big a threat as the coyotes.
Posted by: Gordon undead Ramsay at November 22, 2012 07:51 AM (9HhTH)
Posted by: RWC at November 22, 2012 07:57 AM (vujA1)
Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at November 22, 2012 07:58 AM (k9TQr)
Posted by: Buffalobob at November 22, 2012 08:03 AM (x+7qA)
Let idiot libtard brother in law drink himself stupid
When he leaves, call the DUI hotline with his plate number
Or put the TV on Fox news and hide the remote
Or just shove his face into the mashed potatoes
Posted by: kbdabear at November 22, 2012 08:04 AM (wwsoB)
Posted by: BlueFalcon in Boston at November 22, 2012 08:06 AM (KCvsd)
Posted by: 98ZJUSMC Waiting for the Sun at November 22, 2012 08:10 AM (fljdA)
Posted by: ConcealedKerry or SubMitt at November 22, 2012 08:11 AM (mMAFL)
Ride into town and offer your services as a Turkey Whisperer -- a mysterious figure, with a unique understanding of the ways of these majestic creatures, who can craft an environment where bird and human live side-by-side, with tolerance and mutual respect.
For a fee, of course.
Dressed up in some rugged, faintly western outfit, with maybe just a hint of Native American influence -- Nothing overdone -- you stride masterfully about the streets, patiently teaching the citizens of Brookline to delve deep into their pre-civilization selves, bringing them back to a simpler, more vegan, time when humans lived in accord with nature and each other.
There has GOT to be a juicy government grant somewhere in all of this.
Posted by: Sweet Lou at November 22, 2012 08:15 AM (gsPPG)
Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at November 22, 2012 08:16 AM (piMMO)
My wife made me promise to behave. But I am wondering if I should start
drinking now?
Posted by: Minnfidel at November 22, 2012 10:51 AM
Put a drop of buck lure in each shoe and under his car seats.
Posted by: ConcealedKerry or SubMitt at November 22, 2012 08:16 AM (mMAFL)
Posted by: Mr. Moo Moo at November 22, 2012 08:22 AM (xR/ya)
Posted by: Y-not at November 22, 2012 08:26 AM (5H6zj)
We heard at the time that a new consortium, with Dolly Parton as the major investor, was planning to buy and merge all the stores into one company called Big Wiggly Teeters.
Harris Teeter is actually a two billion dollar Charlotte company, Ruddick, that has two divisions, groceries and ... yarn.
Happy Thanksgiving, all.
Posted by: Enby at November 22, 2012 08:26 AM (ptlfZ)
Posted by: Peaches at November 22, 2012 08:54 AM (kpCLl)
Pour into empty gallon water jug, leaving approximately 1 quart space.
Empty quart of applejack into the jug.
Place in refrigerator for at least 12 hours.
Happy Thanksgiving to all at AoS (except trolls)!
Posted by: Hrothgar - L.I.B or SMOD for the Children at November 22, 2012 08:55 AM (Cnqmv)
If you're in the area and you don't have a gun just hit them with your car. Plucking them is a pain but by golly it will be worth it.
Happy Thanksgiving, moron horde!
Posted by: DC Zombie at November 22, 2012 09:31 AM (EZ3C3)
Posted by: Pavlov at November 22, 2012 09:53 AM (z0AF3)
Haaahahahahaaa...
Posted by: Blacque Jacques Shellacque at November 22, 2012 11:15 AM (F3HO3)
Posted by: Richard at November 22, 2012 11:27 AM (dNIMd)
Posted by: notsothoreau at November 22, 2012 12:31 PM (uPhCY)
Posted by: CarolT at November 22, 2012 12:42 PM (z4WKX)
Posted by: Sefton at November 22, 2012 04:02 PM (80R1/)
Then another time I camped in front of the social security office, but that was just because i needed to replace a lost card, and if you want to avoid wasting half a business day, you have to camp out at least 4 hours ahead of time
Posted by: vikingsfan at November 22, 2012 05:07 PM (DVEEo)
Posted by: Moar turkeys at November 22, 2012 10:32 PM (CTIW2)
Posted by: J at November 23, 2012 04:12 AM (3GsRm)
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Posted by: DaveA (Just being a Moron) at November 21, 2012 04:55 PM (MOWP1)