Ace of Spades HQ

May 31, 2012

Vote 5 Bizarro!
— Ace

I questioned @davidaxelrod on Twitter, wondering if his complaint that Massachusetts' 4.7% unemployment rate, under Romney, just wasn't very good.

I thought maybe he was running a candidate on Bizarro Earth, and got his briefing books mixed up?

Anyway, Bizarro then laid out his plan for America.

It just looks a lot like Barack Obama's.

Posted by: Ace at 06:03 AM | Comments (111)
Post contains 61 words, total size 1 kb.

1 It's only 10 am!

OK....who are you and what have you done with ace!?

Posted by: Tami at May 31, 2012 06:04 AM (X6akg)

2 On Bizarro Earth is the Statue of Liberty called the Statue of It's For Your Own Good?

Posted by: no good deed at May 31, 2012 06:04 AM (mjR67)

3 Barack Obizarro?

Posted by: nickless at May 31, 2012 06:05 AM (MMC8r)

4 I'm waiting for Mirror Spock's rebuttal.

Posted by: El Kabong at May 31, 2012 06:05 AM (+tzrb)

5 On Bizarro Earth is the Statue of Liberty called the Statue of It's For Your Own Good?

Posted by: no good deed at May 31, 2012 10:04 AM (mjR67)

In the shape of Reasons.com's Nanny of the Month logo

Posted by: HoboJerky at May 31, 2012 06:06 AM (xAtAj)

6 Bizarro Man speakum like Fauxcahontas.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 31, 2012 06:06 AM (UOM48)

7 I could support a Joe BizarroBiden presidency.

Posted by: nickless at May 31, 2012 06:07 AM (MMC8r)

8 Barack Obama is a stuttering clusterf*ck of a miserable tyrant.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) Channelling Breitbart at May 31, 2012 06:08 AM (8y9MW)

9 I saw that last night. That. Was. Epic.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) Channelling Breitbart at May 31, 2012 06:08 AM (8y9MW)

10 Did you get any replies from Axelrod? I mean besides "You gonna finish that herring?"

Posted by: fluffy at May 31, 2012 06:09 AM (z9HTb)

11 Bizarro scares me less than Barry does.

Posted by: huerfano at May 31, 2012 06:09 AM (bAGA/)

12 Well, I would vote 5 Bizarro.

Posted by: Evil Cartman at May 31, 2012 06:09 AM (eHIJJ)

13 One of Ace's funniest twitter streams. "It so easy it impossible"

Posted by: Max Power at May 31, 2012 06:10 AM (+wxCD)

14 My favorite so far:

Me hope to win Nobel Peace Prize before me even take office. Then me start a war without congressional approval as thank you.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 31, 2012 06:11 AM (UOM48)

15 Maybe Bizarro 5 could run third party. (9th party?) Then there would be no difference between him and Barky and America would finally have an alternative. Or something.

Posted by: joncelli, heartless Con and all around unpleasant guy at May 31, 2012 06:12 AM (RD7QR)

16 Today in Bizarro White House: Barry will fake graciousness during GWB visit.

Posted by: Mex Muthor at May 31, 2012 06:13 AM (c3mby)

17 Me so expert on Jewish stuff, I light all the candles at once.

Posted by: Schwalbe: The Me-262© at May 31, 2012 06:13 AM (UU0OF)

Me promise absolutely to change name from "Military Prison Guantanamo Bay" to "Sandals, Guantanamo."

heh

Is it evil that I want W to give Choom Boy an atomic wedgie as he leaves the WH today?

Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 31, 2012 06:14 AM (UOM48)

19 Barry will fake graciousness during GWB visit.

That would be Bizarro White House. In the real one he'll probably be a petty, petulant child.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) Channelling Breitbart at May 31, 2012 06:14 AM (8y9MW)

20 What's going on here? Why are there morning posts with content? This is unsettling.

Posted by: mama winger at May 31, 2012 06:14 AM (P6QsQ)

21 Ace, I hope you got some sleep last night. However, if you did stay awake all night, this is good stuff. I'm conflicted.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 31, 2012 06:16 AM (UOM48)

22 20 What's going on here? Why are there morning posts with content? This is unsettling.

Posted by: mama winger at May 31, 2012 10:14 AM (P6QsQ)

It's Bizzaro Ace! You should see the goatee he's sporting!

Posted by: joncelli, heartless Con and all around unpleasant guy at May 31, 2012 06:16 AM (RD7QR)

23 Egads. His sleep schedule slipped so far it synched back up with normal.

Posted by: Brother Cavil, New Caprica City DMV at May 31, 2012 06:16 AM (GBXon)

24 I thought when ace was absent he was making pancakes or something, now i find out he was Twitter-pated.

Posted by: willow at May 31, 2012 06:16 AM (TomZ9)

25 Frickin' hilarious!

Posted by: RWC at May 31, 2012 06:16 AM (fWAjv)

26 Me so haw-neeeee!!!!!!!! Me love you like Jar-Jar Binks!!!!!!!!!

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at May 31, 2012 06:17 AM (MCDCp)

27 Delurking...... Funniest thing I've ever read on twitter. Relurking.....

Posted by: mr. scorpio at May 31, 2012 06:17 AM (GKgjv)

28 Bizarro President so eloquent he say "uh" every other word. He can say "uh" more and speech then be like music.

Posted by: The Mega Independent at May 31, 2012 06:18 AM (AlYnQ)

29 Congrats, Ace. 'Hope you got some sleep last night. I'll re-post my advice. Put yourself on a schedule -- especially concerning teh internets. Turn off and put away your computer at a set time (9 or 10 o'clock), then read a relaxing book for thirty minutes. Then lights out.

Posted by: Y-not at May 31, 2012 06:18 AM (5H6zj)

30 Oh, and that. Was. Awesome!

Posted by: Brother Cavil, New Caprica City DMV at May 31, 2012 06:18 AM (GBXon)

31 @davidaxelrod's bizarro plan includes comb-overs for everybody (redistributed) of course.

Posted by: Dagny at May 31, 2012 06:19 AM (9ybEY)

32 All this means is that ace was up all night. Expect three posts then it's Open Thread Day.

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at May 31, 2012 06:20 AM (+DMSZ)

33 Bizarro teleprompter not show words, it talk.

Posted by: Dave in Texas at May 31, 2012 06:20 AM (WvXvd)

34 Bizarro Barry love country?

Posted by: joncelli, heartless Con and all around unpleasant guy at May 31, 2012 06:21 AM (RD7QR)

35 Me hope to win Nobel Peace Prize before me even take office. Then me start a war without congressional approval as thank you.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 31, 2012 10:11 AM (UOM4

Oooh missed that one....egggzellent!

Posted by: dananjcon at May 31, 2012 06:21 AM (eavT+)

36 Me run in 2012. Vote for me because me opponent is a scary reich wing mormon. Mormons don't have premarital sex, drink alcohol or soda, snort cocaine or smoke pot, and stay faithful to their wives. Me scared. Hold me.

Posted by: Mr Pink at May 31, 2012 06:22 AM (U7RAF)

Can me get a Bizarro 5 T-shirt?

Julia will pay 5 it.

Posted by: Roy at May 31, 2012 06:22 AM (VndSC)

38 Me love cookies!!!!!!

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at May 31, 2012 06:22 AM (MCDCp)

Bizarro say there is no ME in TEAM.

Wait, me make mistake.

Posted by: Roy at May 31, 2012 06:23 AM (VndSC)

40 That's some funny shiz. Bizarro Ace punching down by schooling David Axelrod on economy. Should focus on Mormon prophecy.

Posted by: Beagle at May 31, 2012 06:24 AM (sOtz/)

41 Ace, did Axelrod bother to answer? Or is he hoping you'll shut up?

Posted by: Sean Bannion at May 31, 2012 06:24 AM (sbV1u)

Pffft...frickin amature, pieker.

Posted by: Jose Conseco Tweets Too at May 31, 2012 06:24 AM (eavT+)

43 Walker up by 20 in Wizconzin.

Posted by: BizarroGreg at May 31, 2012 06:25 AM (MMC8r)

44 10am? Hopefully this means a good night's rest was had rather than an all-nighter

Posted by: laceyunderalls at May 31, 2012 06:25 AM (pLTLS)

45 Me bring us all together as nation to hope for change and be more faithful union. Then me insult you and call you racist. Me am half white half kryptonian, me not look like other preznits on dollars. You bitter cling to your kryptonite and bat signals for help.

Posted by: Mr Pink at May 31, 2012 06:25 AM (U7RAF)

46 41 Bizarro say there is no ME in TEAM. TEAM is MEAT, just moved around.

Posted by: nickless at May 31, 2012 06:25 AM (MMC8r)

47 Market not free enuff.

Posted by: Bizarro Hussein Obama at May 31, 2012 06:26 AM (MMC8r)

48 Bizarro knows more about Judaizm than anyone because Bizarro has lots of Jewish enemiez. Like Solomon Grundy, me think. Sounds Jewish.

Posted by: Jimbo at May 31, 2012 06:26 AM (O3R/2)

49 Posted by: BizarroGreg at May 31, 2012 10:25 AM (MMC8r)

Anyone notice that Greg didn't hang out to crow about the Marquette poll yesterday after he teased it in the morning?

Hmmmm....I wonder why.

Why, it looks like that Lake poll is quite the outlier now...doesn't it?

Posted by: Sean Bannion at May 31, 2012 06:26 AM (sbV1u)

50 i wonder if he will allow GWB to come in the front door. Will He go have dinner with Michelle or stay and discuss Presidencies?

Posted by: willow at May 31, 2012 06:26 AM (TomZ9)

51 Me love democracy. That why me let White Panther block voting booth.

Posted by: Bizarro AnonymousDrivel at May 31, 2012 06:26 AM (eHIJJ)

52 It so easy it impossible!!!11!!

Posted by: SMOD the Liberator at May 31, 2012 06:27 AM (7WVMK)

53 ace, I know you don't get into the so-con stuff, but I think we can all agree that 'Gendercide' is beyond the pale.

Another clinic was exposed. Link below

Posted by: laceyunderalls at May 31, 2012 06:27 AM (pLTLS)

54 Bizarro not so good as candidate. Grundy not see birth certificate. Grundy born in America. Many times.

Posted by: Solomon Grundy at May 31, 2012 06:27 AM (mt3j2)

55 I'm imagining Laura Bush looking around the interior of the WH and going, "WTF???"

Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 31, 2012 06:28 AM (UOM48)

56 This is Bizzaro World, Ace is awake before 11am.

Posted by: Anna Puma at May 31, 2012 06:30 AM (dFRyi)

57 Did me mention me have Cherokee blood? Me keep it in a cup.

Posted by: Jimbo at May 31, 2012 06:30 AM (O3R/2)

58 Me will nominate Grimlock as me Vice President. We incest in new energy source by combining Energon cubes and kryptonite. Me make dirty coal so expensive you have to go to sky bridge to heat home in winter. This lead country to heal earth an make sea lower.

Posted by: Mr Pink at May 31, 2012 06:31 AM (U7RAF)

59 LOL...did you you see the picture on Drudge the other day of the Mooch in the 80's style prom dress?? My wife was speechless.

Posted by: dananjcon at May 31, 2012 06:31 AM (eavT+)

60 58 I'm imagining Laura Bush looking around the interior of the WH and going, "WTF???" Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 31, 2012 10:28 AM (UOM4 Hilarious.

Posted by: The Mega Independent at May 31, 2012 06:32 AM (AlYnQ)

61 If you love me you will vote for me and not this bizzarro Clown......

Posted by: Barry "The Prezy" Obama at May 31, 2012 06:33 AM (48wze)

62 58 I'm imagining Laura Bush looking around the interior of the WH and going, "WTF???"
Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 31, 2012 10:28 AM (UOM4

Laura will probably borrow Bob Dylan's sunglasses to reduce the eye-ache.

Posted by: Anna Puma at May 31, 2012 06:33 AM (dFRyi)

63 Mr. scorpio, on Bizarro threads, lurkers must stay delurked!

Posted by: Mama AJ on phone at May 31, 2012 06:34 AM (XdlcF)

64 Me work good.

Posted by: Bizarro NewCommentThingy at May 31, 2012 06:34 AM (eHIJJ)

65 Solomon Grundy already lock up core democratic constituency, Zombies.

Posted by: Solomon Grundy at May 31, 2012 06:34 AM (mt3j2)

66 Wow, Ace. That's just... it's inspired, dude - and comedy gold. Nice job.

Posted by: Naqamel at May 31, 2012 06:35 AM (UMwMT)

67 I think job creation becomes somewhat difficult when you're at full employment.

Why would you "create jobs" for people who don't exist?

Posted by: Alec Leamas at May 31, 2012 06:35 AM (mg08E)

68 Me think you stupid. Me tell you me lower deficit when me just increase debt by 6 trillion earth dollars. Me get good laugh. In second term Me trickyou say Barack Hussein Obama backwards and watch debt disappear.

Posted by: Mr Pink at May 31, 2012 06:35 AM (U7RAF)

69 Britt Kimmelbean blowing up some ol' lady and spoxin' for the Prez's reelection; Willie Maher's c*nt jokes, and Nixon's Watergate wiretaps.

Same cloth. Blame Bush.

Posted by: Rabid Dexyrood at May 31, 2012 06:37 AM (vhwRj)

70 Uhm, you DO know that you are supposed to have a salad fork and a dinner fork on the left, not a trowel.....?

Posted by: Laura Bush at May 31, 2012 06:37 AM (KwMW2)

71 Me not want make comment, so I didn't

Posted by: Bizzaro Comment at May 31, 2012 06:37 AM (136wp)

72 When I grow up, I want to be Ace.

Posted by: Darth Chipmunk at May 31, 2012 06:42 AM (pVvkk)

73 78 When I grow up, I want to be Ace. Posted by: Darth Chipmunk at May 31, 2012 10:42 AM (pVvkk) When I grow up I want to be a Tampon

Posted by: Prince Charles at May 31, 2012 06:43 AM (136wp)

74 While at Ace's link to Twitchy, check out Obama's tweet: "Shadowy conservative groups" What a stuttering clusterfuck.

Posted by: chewydog at May 31, 2012 06:44 AM (BUY7X)

75 I dunno, Bizarro sounds a lot like Zub Zub the Bear. I smell a sinister polar bear plot.

Posted by: Waterhouse at May 31, 2012 06:45 AM (Go/E/)

76 When I grow up, I want to live in Mom's basement.

Posted by: Pent-Up Demand at May 31, 2012 06:47 AM (VndSC)

77 81 I dunno, Bizarro sounds a lot like Zub Zub the Bear. I smell a sinister polar bear plot. Posted by: Waterhouse at May 31, 2012 10:45 AM (Go/E/) Always watch the gingers, any conspiracy can be traced back to them...

Posted by: The Robot Devil at May 31, 2012 06:48 AM (136wp)

78 When I grow up, I want free shit.

Posted by: Julia at May 31, 2012 06:48 AM (VndSC)

79 "While at Ace's link to Twitchy, check out Obama's tweet: "Shadowy conservative groups" What a stuttering clusterfuck." Solomon Grundy not afraid of shadowy conservatives. Solomon Grundy fight vampire capitalist Batman many times.

Posted by: Solomon Grundy at May 31, 2012 06:48 AM (mt3j2)

80 Yay Jews!

Posted by: Bizarro Hussein Obama at May 31, 2012 06:49 AM (MMC8r)

81 Gentlemen, let the cocksucking begin.

Posted by: Bizzro winston wolf at May 31, 2012 06:50 AM (JzHho)

82 Me have no injun blood. Me been lying to you whole time. Me sad.

Posted by: Bizarro Elizabeth Warren at May 31, 2012 06:51 AM (GKgjv)

83 When I grow up, I'm gonna make White people pay for sending Black people away on spaceships

Posted by: Barack Insane Obama - Age 19 at May 31, 2012 06:51 AM (136wp)

84 MSNBC is planning to rebrand themselves as BizarroWorld. It's good to get past the denail stage.

Posted by: Roy at May 31, 2012 06:52 AM (VndSC)

What do they smoke in a peace pipe in Bizarro world?

Posted by: Roy at May 31, 2012 06:54 AM (VndSC)

86 Solomon Grundy questions Bizarro's commitment to war on poverty. Solomon Grundy very rarely see Bizarro murder any poor people.

Posted by: Solomon Grundy at May 31, 2012 06:54 AM (mt3j2)

87 Ace, best laugh I've had on Twitter in ages!

It was tough to pick a fave, but I'd have to go with "Me hope to win Nobel Peace Prize before me even take office. Then me start a war without congressional approval as thank you. "

Posted by: Theresa is voting 5 Bizarro at May 31, 2012 06:56 AM (keDfY)

I imagine GWB will at least be gifted the last months series of speeches on 8 track tapes, and an sealed envelope.

Bush will open it and it will read only a few words.;"Help Me, I'm in over my head"

Posted by: willow at May 31, 2012 06:56 AM (TomZ9)

89 The wife sent me out to pick up our dry cleaning. Am I in the right place?

Posted by: Ammo Dump at May 31, 2012 06:58 AM (YYyqq)

90 Ah, fucking brilliant. Thanks for starting the day with a laugh - Ace on a roll!

Posted by: Clutch Cargo at May 31, 2012 06:58 AM (Qxdfp)

91 Oh, and usually when an Obamapologist like Axelrod comes on TV I change the channel, but I have to say it's been fun to watch him lately because he looks like he could use a big swig of Pepto for that rumbly, anxious tumbly of his.

Posted by: Theresa is voting 5 Bizarro at May 31, 2012 06:59 AM (keDfY)

92 WhEn YoU gO bIzArRo, ThEn ThE wOrDs LoOk LiKe ThIs. BiZaRrO hAvE nO rUlEs Of WrItInG. pLuS, iT mAkE iT hArD tO rEaD. lIkE bIzArRo SpEaK.

Posted by: Bizarro jimmuy at May 31, 2012 06:59 AM (kSaUf)

93 Alright, that was a hilarious way to start the day. = )

Posted by: ConservativeMonster at May 31, 2012 07:02 AM (MMM7r)

94 I should check tweetface more.

Posted by: toby928© at May 31, 2012 07:09 AM (NG097)

95 Saw the Twiter feed last night. My wife was wondering why the hell I was giggling like a schoolgirl in my chair. I had just posted on Facebook about Bizarro world Democrat policies, with no knowledge that Ace was doing this. Needless to say, Ace is much better at this sort of thing than I am. The stupid libs don't even know what the Bizarro world is, I guess Superman is too patriotic for them or something.

Posted by: Damn Sockpuppet at May 31, 2012 07:17 AM (YmPwQ)

Me big chief, me play joke, me go pee pee in your coke.

No ice for you mister Axelrodent.

Posted by: The Jackhole at May 31, 2012 07:19 AM (nTgAI)

97 Why aren't you serious, good chap?

Posted by: The Bizarro Joker at May 31, 2012 07:20 AM (UMwMT)

In a world not run by idiots, Ace the Moron would be raking in sweet Hollywood/TV cash. This is comedy platinum.

Posted by: Emperor of Laughing My Ass Off at May 31, 2012 07:21 AM (epBek)

99 One of Ace's funniest riffs of all time.

Posted by: Ian S. at May 31, 2012 07:22 AM (tqwMN)

100 This isn't something.

Posted by: Bizarro MostlyRight at May 31, 2012 07:26 AM (ZG8Ti)

101 Ace, you are unparalleled. That is all.

Posted by: chique d'afrique (the artist formerly known as african chick) at May 31, 2012 07:27 AM (21lBC)

102 Love it. I saw it last night when I saw Malkin taking about it on NRO's twitter feed. Hilarious and dead on.

Posted by: SamIam at May 31, 2012 07:34 AM (BBm11)

103 I've been puffing with the choom gang Headed downtown Puffing with the choom gang Time to score another round

Posted by: Bizzaro pretenders at May 31, 2012 07:34 AM (JzHho)

104 Posted by: Solomon Grundy at May 31, 2012 10:48 AM (mt3j2)

And yet, Solomon Grundy want pants, too.

What do Batman and I look like, Santy Claus?

Posted by: Lex Luthor at May 31, 2012 07:38 AM (MDr17)

105 When I grow up I want to be a Tampon Posted by: Prince Charles

PC is already a useless twat so he's getting close.

Posted by: DaveA at May 31, 2012 07:39 AM (NqmTy)

106 This isn't the first time ace has crossed swords with Axelstache. http://tinyurl.com/7q2j5m5

Posted by: Wonkish Rogue at May 31, 2012 07:54 AM (cTG/6)

107

Someone offered me a free kitten the other day. I said, "Heck no! Do you think I have time for a cat, with my busy work schedule and social life?"

Posted by: Bizzaro Curious at May 31, 2012 07:58 AM (kC3nL)

108 Me is sO 5 wyMan, mE makE SurE de keep RitE to AboRT the MsElves!

Posted by: kdny at May 31, 2012 08:00 AM (MJ76f)

109

I was rolling last night when I caught this on twitchy.