April 22, 2013
— Ace Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb.
Some former lower-tier singer or something wrote a poem supposedly about Dzhozkar Tsarnaev but which sounds suspiciously like an advertisement for herself-- that is to say, an expression not about the terrorist but about herself and her elevated sense of empathy.
I went off on this phenomenon yesterday on Twitter, noting that we are now in the Conspicuous Compassion Floor Exercise program of the Moral Peacocking Olympics.
Many statements during this phase must be discounted as to their false mention of external facts, such as terrorism. That is just a red herring. The real subject of these sorts of Look At Me And Be Amazed By My Empathy and Cleverness statements is, as usual, The Almighty I.
Palmer, whoever she is, doesn't want to talk about Dzhohkar; she wants to talk about herself. However, as there's a social penalty associated with Narcissism, many Narcissists have learned to make statements seemingly about external matters which in fact are actually all about The Almighty I.
Palmer doesn't have any empathy for Dzhohkar, and I say this because I rather doubt she has empathy for any human being. What she primarily has empathy for his herself, and her ego, and her need for validation, and her desire to separate herself from the Masses by scoring the natural but "obvious" and therefore "common" reaction to a slaughter -- the natural and common reaction that a mass murderer is a bad guy -- by peacocking around an uncommon attitude towards it.
The aristocrat demonstrates that he is not common by cultivating a different sense of taste, style, and manner than the common folk; these demonstrations are not chosen simply because they suit him, but specifically because they are different than those of the common masses he wishes to elevate himself above.
Thus Palmer is required -- if she's to demonstrate her un-Common-ness -- to seek out and adopt postures that are rejected by the Common, such as "Mass murderers deserve our empathy and love."
Making this more obvious is the fact that the thoughts that Palmer is supposed channeling from a 19 year old male gritty-banlieu immigrant Chechen terrorist sound suspiciously like the thoughts of a 30-something suburban-raised/urban-identifying white privileged American woman with arrested adolescent development disorder.
That is to say, much like the thoughts and scary-bad problems of Amanda Palmer herself. (Apparently Amanda Palmer's biggest problem is that she scammed fans out of $1.2 million for a Kickstarter project which couldn't possibly cost that much and is now unable to fully account for why she needs so much money to record an album.)
Anyway, here are bits of Amanda Palmer's troll-post, which is intended as a Celebrate Me for Being a Special Little Ultra-Empathetic Snowflake invitation.
I'm sure you'll have poetry of your own.
Note all the lines that sound suspiciously like the "problems" of an OCD/Narcisstic brittle-psyche artistic type who grew up in a wealthy country. I'm frankly shocked Palmer didn't mention how Dzhohkar was dogged his whole life by Negative Body Image received from Fashion Magazines.
you donÂ’t know how it felt to be in the womb but it must have been at least a little warmer than this.you donÂ’t know how intimately theyÂ’re recording your every move on closed-circuit cameras until you see your face reflected back at you through through the pulp.
you donÂ’t know how to stop picking at your fingers.
you donÂ’t know how little youÂ’ve been paying attention until you look down at your legs again.
you donÂ’t know how many times you can say youÂ’re coming until they just stop believing you.
you donÂ’t know how orgasmic the act of taking in a lungful of oxygen is until they hold your head under the water.
you donÂ’t know how many vietnamese soft rolls to order.
you donÂ’t know how convinced your parents were that having children would be, absolutely, without question, the correct thing to do.
you donÂ’t know how precious your iphone battery time was until youÂ’re hiding in the bottom of the boat.
you donÂ’t know how to get away from your fucking parents.
...
you donÂ’t know how to tell the girl in the chair next to you that youÂ’ve been peeking at her dissertation draft and thereÂ’s a grammatical typo in the actual file name.
you donÂ’t know how to explain yourself.
you donÂ’t want two percent but itÂ’s all they have.
you donÂ’t know how claustrophobic your house is until you canÂ’t leave it.
you donÂ’t know why you let that guy go without shooting him dead and stuffing him in some bushes between cambridge and watertown.
you donÂ’t know where your friends went.
you donÂ’t know how to dance but you give it a shot anyway.
you donÂ’t know how your life managed to move twenty six miles forward and twenty eight miles back.
you donÂ’t know how to pay your debts.
you donÂ’t know how to separate from this partnership to escape and finally breathe.
I assume that last is a reference to Palmer splitting from whatever band she used to be in -- the Dresden Dolls or something.
How is this "for Dzhohkar"?
BTW, sometimes she looks like this:
Yoko Ono just called, she said she's owed royalties.
Posted by: Ace at
11:48 AM
| Comments (464)
Post contains 883 words, total size 6 kb.
"Just because my fly isnÂ’t down doesnÂ’t mean that somebody hasnÂ’t set my hair on fire."
Posted by: Islamic Rage Boy at April 22, 2013 11:50 AM (e8kgV)
Posted by: artisanal 'ette at April 22, 2013 11:50 AM (XYSwB)
Never heard of her until last night....and it will be too soon if I hear of her again.
Posted by: Tami[/i][/b][/u][/s] at April 22, 2013 11:50 AM (X6akg)
"Art" has really lost its objective value and worth.
But that was the leftists' point all along. If beauty cannot be described, then the monstrous becomes beautiful, and thus, poetry.
Posted by: Prescient11 at April 22, 2013 11:51 AM (tVTLU)
Posted by: Brother Cavil, no ampersand joke here at April 22, 2013 11:51 AM (fMiHM)
Posted by: Cato at April 22, 2013 11:51 AM (rTRgV)
RE: Earth Day
I got this cute/funny email from a local winbar/restaurant about the occasion:
------
Subject: Celebrate Earth Day. Eat a Cow!
Help Celebrate Earth Day
by doing something for the grass.
Tonight is Steak Night !!
Enjoy a 2-Course Steak Dinner for just $20.13 !!
-------
Posted by: Serious Cat at April 22, 2013 11:51 AM (UypUQ)
Posted by: zsasz at April 22, 2013 11:52 AM (MMC8r)
Neil Gaiman married this uh well hhmmm thing with female anatomical parts. Oi what kind of validation was he seeking by marrying it?
Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at April 22, 2013 11:52 AM (a8E3N)
Posted by: MrScribbler at April 22, 2013 11:52 AM (mHrip)
Hell, she is smart! Someone else is dumber than a creosote post.
Posted by: Vic at April 22, 2013 11:53 AM (53z96)
Posted by: Ian S. at April 22, 2013 11:53 AM (B/VB5)
Posted by: Rod Stewart at April 22, 2013 11:53 AM (CB4QO)
OK, Horde?
Annnnnnnnd....go!
Posted by: Sean Bannion[/i][/u][/s][/b] at April 22, 2013 11:53 AM (sbV1u)
You may need to call ahead for reservations, but I'll try to fit you all in.
Posted by: Sandy Fluke at April 22, 2013 11:53 AM (/kI1Q)
I went off on this phenomenon yesterday on Twitter, noting that we are now in the Conspicuous Compassion Floor Exercise program of the Moral Peacocking Olympics.
I haven't even read the rest of the post yet, but I just had to comment and say that this line? POETRY in and of itself.
Okay, back to read.
Oh, but first! Am I the only one who thinks this... woman?... looks like Mila Jovovich if someone had hit Mila Jovovich repeatedly in the face with a frying pan when she was still a baby and her bones were still soft?
Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit [/s][/i][/u][/b] at April 22, 2013 11:53 AM (4df7R)
Posted by: steevy at April 22, 2013 11:53 AM (9XBK2)
Posted by: Fritz at April 22, 2013 11:54 AM (gyDll)
Posted by: Amanda Palmer at April 22, 2013 11:54 AM (0oG8l)
Posted by: Regular Moron [/i] at April 22, 2013 11:54 AM (feFL6)
On the flip side, Jesus is going to have to forgive me just this once, I can't forgive this guy no matter how much he repents.
I too am human.
This bitch pretends to forgive, only because she didn't hate him to begin with I suspect.
Posted by: tsrblke (work)[/i][/b][/u][/s] at April 22, 2013 11:54 AM (Dcokn)
Posted by: Dzhohkar T at April 22, 2013 11:54 AM (e8kgV)
a 30-something suburban-raised/urban-identifying white privileged American woman with arrested adolescent development disorder.
Also known as the "Girls"-viewing demographic.
Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit [/s][/i][/u][/b] at April 22, 2013 11:54 AM (4df7R)
Posted by: zsasz at April 22, 2013 03:52 PM (MMC8r)
...like, SRSLY!!!
Posted by: Meggie MacNcheese at April 22, 2013 11:54 AM (ujrve)
Posted by: Burn the Witch at April 22, 2013 11:55 AM (yCvxi)
Posted by: Burn the Witch at April 22, 2013 11:55 AM (yCvxi)
Posted by: Barack Obama adds a line at April 22, 2013 11:55 AM (nbX4o)
. . . many Narcissists have learned to make statements seemingly about external matters which in fact are actually all about The Almighty I.
I see my ex gets around. Sorry.
Posted by: Count de Monet at April 22, 2013 11:55 AM (BAS5M)
Posted by: Motorhead at April 22, 2013 11:56 AM (1FCU7)
Posted by: Fritz at April 22, 2013 03:54 PM (gyDll)
I'm here all week!...and don't forget to tip your waiter!
Posted by: Ace in the Catskills at April 22, 2013 11:56 AM (ujrve)
Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at April 22, 2013 11:56 AM (a8E3N)
Posted by: Cato at April 22, 2013 11:56 AM (rTRgV)
Posted by: Dave S. at April 22, 2013 11:56 AM (M3APu)
Posted by: Navycopjoe at April 22, 2013 11:56 AM (7D6bD)
btw, Ace, how are you liking the second half of the current Doctor Who series?
Are you finally convinced that it is a tv show for children?
And did you notice the nasty anti-religion theme to episode the other week?
Posted by: soothsayer at April 22, 2013 11:56 AM (052zE)
Posted by: GuyfromNH at April 22, 2013 11:56 AM (kbOju)
Posted by: Dr Spank at April 22, 2013 11:56 AM (3+QKS)
Oh and don't forget to get the graffiti in the background. Did you get that?
Posted by: Professor eleven E.P. (expert professor) at April 22, 2013 11:56 AM (KXm42)
Ace: ..."I'm sure you'll have poetry of your own."
How about this:
Dancing on stubs.
Thinking of you, Dzhohkar.
Every painful moment...
We'll be thinking of YOU.
/the Victims
Posted by: wheatie at April 22, 2013 11:56 AM (T1BD9)
Posted by: Jane D'oh at April 22, 2013 11:57 AM (lVPtV)
Posted by: Yutaka Ishinabe at April 22, 2013 11:57 AM (e8kgV)
That shit doesn't even rhyme. How about this:
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Your big brother's dead
We wish you were too
Thank you, you can send me Kickstarter cash just as soon as I open an account.
Posted by: Insomniac at April 22, 2013 11:57 AM (DrWcr)
Posted by: toby928© Red Partisan at April 22, 2013 11:57 AM (evdj2)
Posted by: steevy at April 22, 2013 03:53 PM (9XBK2)
...15 minutes of fame, my friend!!!
Posted by: Andy Warhol at April 22, 2013 11:58 AM (ujrve)
Posted by: CAC at April 22, 2013 11:58 AM (vnJUV)
Posted by: artisanal 'ette at April 22, 2013 11:58 AM (XYSwB)
if only fucking democrats could be as angry at foreign born enemies as they are at me.
Posted by: sven10077@sven10077 at April 22, 2013 11:58 AM (LRFds)
Posted by: BumperStickerist at April 22, 2013 11:58 AM (19AvL)
Posted by: Waterhouse at April 22, 2013 11:58 AM (nbX4o)
Are you finally convinced that it is a tv show for children?
And did you notice the nasty anti-religion theme to episode the other week?
This season has been lacking. The stories are crap, especially that "singing" one. Jenna Louise-Coleman has been the only worthwhile thing so far. More of her in the governess dress please!
Posted by: EC at April 22, 2013 11:58 AM (GQ8sn)
Posted by: Blacksheep at April 22, 2013 11:59 AM (8/DeP)
Posted by: Misanthropic humanitarian fka irishacres at April 22, 2013 11:59 AM (HVff2)
nah they're "superior Canadians aka illegals or refugees....
nobody wants US citizens
Posted by: sven10077@sven10077 at April 22, 2013 11:59 AM (LRFds)
Posted by: artisanal 'ette at April 22, 2013 11:59 AM (XYSwB)
I'm trying to come up with a poem about Dzhokhar
But I can't find something that rhymes with pressure cooker
And I want the final line to have the word c***sucker
And a coda that includes the phrase 'worthless motherf***er.
Wish I knew how to rhyme.
Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at April 22, 2013 11:59 AM (pxDth)
Posted by: tasker at April 22, 2013 11:59 AM (r2PLg)
This poem will be right up there with Has anybody seen my friend John and Where have all the flowers gone...long time passing.
Posted by: soothsayer at April 22, 2013 11:59 AM (Y4TdB)
Roses are red,
voilets are blue,
you hid in a boat,
you fucking little POS,
and we got you, too.
Posted by: Jane D'oh at April 22, 2013 11:59 AM (lVPtV)
"@amandapalmer
this MT @sugarandbrine The only way terrorists can commit the acts they do is if they dehumanize their victims. We do that, we are the same."
Got that, h8r's? You are all terrorists. War, Peace, Strength, Weakness.
Bla-bla-bla. Pass the pipe, imma smoke a bowl of MEEEE!
Posted by: weft cut-loop [/i] [/b] at April 22, 2013 11:59 AM (5Hl3g)
Posted by: CAC at April 22, 2013 03:58 PM (vnJUV)
I bet I could glue some latex to my wife's boobs and sell copies of that too.
Posted by: EC at April 22, 2013 11:59 AM (GQ8sn)
Posted by: lowandslow at April 22, 2013 11:59 AM (Fz2C7)
Posted by: @PurpAv at April 22, 2013 12:00 PM (/gHaE)
Posted by: Jeff B. at April 22, 2013 12:00 PM (/Rmj0)
So this is on NBC?
Posted by: Washington Nearsider at April 22, 2013 12:00 PM (fwARV)
Posted by: artisanal 'ette at April 22, 2013 12:00 PM (XYSwB)
I like Gaiman as a writer, but everytime she does something dumb, it just lowers his stock. I think he gets of on it though, so I doubt anything she does will cross a line.
Posted by: LizLem at April 22, 2013 12:01 PM (8wqqE)
Ain't gonna get better; it's gonna get worse
And the world's gonna sink with the weight of the human race
Posted by: King Nebuchadnezzar at April 22, 2013 12:01 PM (e8kgV)
---
I can't believe she wrote that. Really? Fcuk her with a hair brush.
Posted by: CUS at April 22, 2013 12:01 PM (84pE9)
Posted by: Dr Spank at April 22, 2013 12:01 PM (3+QKS)
Posted by: irright at April 22, 2013 12:01 PM (pMGkg)
Ah, so she was with the Dresden Dolls? the only Dresden Dolls song I know is "Sing" from 2006. It's a perfect encapsulation of the self-aggrandizing "look at me! look at me! I'm better than you! watch me point out the ironies and hypocrisies of modern life, which is SOOOO cutting edge and avant garde that NOBODY has EVER done it before!" tone of the left.
http://www.metrolyrics.com/sing-lyrics-the-dresden-dolls.html
Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit [/s][/i][/u][/b] at April 22, 2013 12:01 PM (4df7R)
Posted by: Lemmenkainen, Freelance Warlord at April 22, 2013 12:01 PM (ZWvOb)
Posted by: Minnfidel at April 22, 2013 12:01 PM (M40i2)
For the love of all that is good and holy, stop shaving off your eyebrows and drawing on ridiculous fake eyebrows in their place.
Posted by: Hollowpoint at April 22, 2013 12:01 PM (SY2Kh)
Posted by: Sherry McEvil, FLLDFC Gangstette Wily Wench at April 22, 2013 12:01 PM (kXoT0)
Posted by: tasker at April 22, 2013 12:02 PM (r2PLg)
WTF. This goes beyond mere badness and narcissism. This is just crazy stupid.
Posted by: Jeff B. at April 22, 2013 12:02 PM (/Rmj0)
Never occurred to me that this is a justification for mass murder. Hrm.
Posted by: HeatherRadish™ needs a beer at April 22, 2013 12:02 PM (/kI1Q)
Posted by: dananjcon self hating full of teenage angst woploc at April 22, 2013 12:02 PM (jvd3N)
Posted by: Waldo Truth at April 22, 2013 12:02 PM (y2XjR)
Posted by: Stu-22 at April 22, 2013 12:02 PM (k4bdL)
neither could I...of course that quaint peculiarity is what is known as "having a 1/2 sane immigration policy" something Tedster raped in '63
Posted by: sven10077@sven10077 at April 22, 2013 12:02 PM (LRFds)
Posted by: lowandslow at April 22, 2013 03:59 PM (Fz2C7)
I didn't know hipster douchebag standards were so low.
Posted by: Insomniac at April 22, 2013 12:02 PM (DrWcr)
Posted by: rickb223 at April 22, 2013 12:02 PM (GFM2b)
By order of the prophet
We ban that boogie sound
Degenerate the faithful
With that crazy Casbah sound
But the Bedouin they brought out
The electric kettel drum
The local guitar picker
Got his guitar picking thumb
As soon as the Sharia
Had cleared the square
They began to wail
Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at April 22, 2013 12:02 PM (a8E3N)
Posted by: Him again at April 22, 2013 12:02 PM (FmFB3)
Posted by: Dr Spank at April 22, 2013 12:03 PM (3+QKS)
I have a solution, but by the look of it your gonna have to lower your price.
Posted by: Adam Smith's Invisible Pimp Hand at April 22, 2013 12:03 PM (oBhEo)
Posted by: Jane D'oh at April 22, 2013 03:57 PM
You could do an image search. And then run for a radiator shop to have your brain hot-tanked and rodded-out. Brain bleach won't do.
Oh, the humanity!
Posted by: MrScribbler at April 22, 2013 12:03 PM (mHrip)
Posted by: S. Weasel at April 22, 2013 12:03 PM (PsC/j)
Posted by: palooka at April 22, 2013 12:03 PM (yGEWb)
Posted by: tasker at April 22, 2013 12:03 PM (r2PLg)
Posted by: Dave S. at April 22, 2013 12:03 PM (/BwGa)
EC, the "singing one" was all about teaching children to hate religion. I was digusted.
The doctor is such an arrogant ass.
Posted by: soothsayer at April 22, 2013 12:03 PM (vanqS)
Posted by: Minnfidel at April 22, 2013 12:04 PM (+riEG)
This is also a good poem. In fact, it's a great poem, as poems are judged, and stuff.
BTW, Ace, did you subconsciously include the peacock stffu because she looks like a peacock?
---
This Day And All The Rest
One day.
One.
More than another.
The other,
that day,
those people,
too many,
too personal,
but not.
People you know know,
but you yourself know not.
Crashing down,
all frown,
hurting,
walking,
silently screaming,
slowly running,
often feeling nothing.
Seeing the lucky ones fleeing,
seeing those trapped inside.
Cry.
Cry.
It's OK.
It's not OK.
Smile if it's natural
Feel alive.
The president speaks,
The situation reeks an act of war.
I enter my room, close the door
Sit here.
Here where buildings do not fall to the floor.
we young will experience much more
future, liberty, the freedom to mope about in poetry.
My brother I love you.
Old friends and family too.
Safe for now glad to know I'm alive with all of you.
Feel what is real feel later heal.
One.
One person feeling the same as all the rest.
Please let us act and do what is best.
Posted by: Rev dr E buzz at April 22, 2013 12:04 PM (raGXo)
But let's skip all that, I really want to focus on myself.
I am self-absorbed and twitty, with a small set of titties.
An opportunist at heart, I'm not very intelligent or smart
But I have social media to fake it and F* you, all you h8ters!
Posted by: Marcus at April 22, 2013 12:04 PM (GGCsk)
Posted by: palooka at April 22, 2013 12:04 PM (yGEWb)
Posted by: LizLem at April 22, 2013 12:04 PM (8wqqE)
Posted by: model_1066 at April 22, 2013 12:04 PM (7xPCu)
Beyond creepy.
Posted by: palooka at April 22, 2013 04:04 PM (yGEWb)
Is that rape rape?
Posted by: Washington Nearsider at April 22, 2013 12:04 PM (fwARV)
Posted by: Nancy Pelosi at April 22, 2013 12:05 PM (WCe8r)
That's an odd euphemism for 'rack'.
Posted by: Waterhouse at April 22, 2013 12:05 PM (nbX4o)
Your brain shuts down, then your IQ's droppin'
Posted by: #OccupyAnthonyWeiner'sShorts at April 22, 2013 12:05 PM (e8kgV)
Posted by: Kim Jong-un [/i] at April 22, 2013 12:05 PM (feFL6)
She needs the AoS chorus to sing counterpoint:
you don't know how it felt to be in the womb but it must have been at least a little warmer than this.
(but not as warm as where you're going)
you don�t know how intimately they�re recording your every move on closed-circuit cameras until you see your face reflected back at you through through the pulp.
(oh wait, you're face is the pulp)
you don�t know how to stop picking at your fingers.
(or how you'll ever wash off the blood)
you don�t know how little you�ve been paying attention until you look down at your legs again.
(at least yours are still there)
you don�t know how many times you can say you�re coming until they just stop believing you.
(stupid whores)
you don�t know how orgasmic the act of taking in a lungful of oxygen is until they hold your head under the water.
(enjoy that last gulp)
you don�t know how many vietnamese soft rolls to order.
(cuz Tamerlan killed the cook)
you don�t know how convinced your parents were that having children would be, absolutely, without question, the correct thing to do.
(I mean, at the time. Today, not so much)
you don�t know how precious your iphone battery time was until you�re hiding in the bottom of the boat.
(surfing porn again)
you don�t know how to get away from your fucking parents.
(cuz they got away from you first)
Posted by: yada yada boy at April 22, 2013 12:05 PM (QQCQK)
Posted by: Amanda Palmer's conservative brother at April 22, 2013 12:05 PM (0oG8l)
Posted by: Navycopjoe at April 22, 2013 12:05 PM (9TME+)
Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at April 22, 2013 12:06 PM (nmY+b)
Posted by: model_1066 at April 22, 2013 12:06 PM (7xPCu)
Nothing of note has happened in these eps so far. I have a feeling, the writers are trying to set up another 'bad wolf' with Clara Oswin, revealing the truth about her at the very end of the season. They're dropping little hints here and there.
Posted by: EC at April 22, 2013 12:06 PM (GQ8sn)
Posted by: Gus Bailey at April 22, 2013 12:06 PM (BYeLY)
The Dresden Dolls, for those who don't know, was the pet name given to the four lovely little blond children who got locked away in their grandmother's attic in "Flowers in the Attic," which led to the death of one due to poisoning, the stunted growth and eventual early death of another, and the incestuous relationship between the elder boy and elder girl.
So by calling their group the "Dresden Dolls," Amanda and whoever the other one was were being SO. VERY. EDGY.
Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit [/s][/i][/u][/b] at April 22, 2013 12:06 PM (4df7R)
About as artistic as those large sculptures cities by with tax dollars.
Posted by: tax payer at April 22, 2013 12:06 PM (N3Al8)
Posted by: artisanal 'ette at April 22, 2013 12:06 PM (XYSwB)
Posted by: The MSM at April 22, 2013 12:07 PM (7ObY1)
Posted by: BSKB at April 22, 2013 12:07 PM (4KWOY)
Oh? Well, which one?
All of them
Oh! Well, I've been sleepin' with your best friend Jake!
Yah? Well, well me too!
Oh!
And I've sleepin' with your dog Woofie!
(barking)
Woofie, you b-tch!
Well, I'm also sleepin' with your pet goat!
(baaahhing)
That goat doesn't love to you!
Posted by: Dzhohkar T at April 22, 2013 12:07 PM (e8kgV)
Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Please? at April 22, 2013 12:07 PM (VtjlW)
Posted by: Ebo Walker (was a mighty fine fiddle player) at April 22, 2013 12:07 PM (FQThu)
So by calling their group the "Dresden Dolls," Amanda and whoever the other one was were being SO. VERY. EDGY.
Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit at April 22, 2013 04:06 PM (4df7R)
And there is my 'learn one thing every day' quota - complied with.
Posted by: Washington Nearsider at April 22, 2013 12:07 PM (fwARV)
Posted by: Darles Chickens at April 22, 2013 12:07 PM (z4vvZ)
Posted by: artisanal 'ette at April 22, 2013 12:07 PM (XYSwB)
Posted by: Navycopjoe at April 22, 2013 04:05 PM (9TME+)
Made me run all the way to Miami, yo!
Posted by: Pitbull at April 22, 2013 12:08 PM (ggRof)
Posted by: Marcus at April 22, 2013 12:08 PM (GGCsk)
Posted by: mugiwara at April 22, 2013 12:08 PM (PXq5X)
Posted by: BlueStateRebel at April 22, 2013 12:08 PM (7ObY1)
Posted by: wth at April 22, 2013 12:08 PM (wAQA5)
Posted by: yada yada boy at April 22, 2013 04:05 PM (QQCQK)
Those were beautiful.
Posted by: HeatherRadish™ needs a beer at April 22, 2013 12:08 PM (/kI1Q)
Posted by: Tilikum the Killer Assault Whale at April 22, 2013 12:08 PM (uhftQ)
Posted by: artisanal 'ette at April 22, 2013 12:08 PM (XYSwB)
***
Its like she can see into my soul...
I'm gonna cry **sniff**snif**
Posted by: dananjcon self hating full of teenage angst woploc at April 22, 2013 12:08 PM (jvd3N)
Posted by: Minnfidel at April 22, 2013 12:09 PM (+riEG)
Posted by: Bevel Lemelisk at April 22, 2013 12:09 PM (ZZPs4)
Posted by: Him again at April 22, 2013 12:09 PM (FmFB3)
Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at April 22, 2013 12:09 PM (a8E3N)
Posted by: model_1066 at April 22, 2013 12:09 PM (7xPCu)
Posted by: tasker at April 22, 2013 12:09 PM (r2PLg)
Posted by: CAC at April 22, 2013 12:09 PM (vnJUV)
Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at April 22, 2013 12:09 PM (piMMO)
Posted by: Will Folks at April 22, 2013 12:09 PM (9TME+)
Posted by: Tilikum the Killer Assault Whale at April 22, 2013 12:09 PM (uhftQ)
Posted by: Marcus at April 22, 2013 12:09 PM (GGCsk)
Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at April 22, 2013 12:10 PM (a8E3N)
--Amanda P.
Posted by: Dr Spank at April 22, 2013 12:10 PM (3+QKS)
My Eyebrows Are Gone
Ah don't shave my pits
Ah don't pop my zits
Ah takes off my panties
Ah makes evil insanties
Mah bitch....
Posted by: Sherry McEvil, FLLDFC Gangstette Wily Wench at April 22, 2013 12:11 PM (kXoT0)
Posted by: Amanda Palmer's poem for Dzhohkar, continued at April 22, 2013 12:11 PM (LCRYB)
Ah, but its such a magnificent train wreck. This kind of shit will get you a tenured position at Colombia or Harvard.
Posted by: @PurpAv at April 22, 2013 12:11 PM (/gHaE)
Posted by: Ashley Judd's Puffy Scamper, formerly MrCaniac at April 22, 2013 12:11 PM (Zd/NW)
Exclusive: Ted Nugent demands swift justice for 'voodoo whack-job'
Posted by: Hannibal Lecter, M.D. at April 22, 2013 12:11 PM (e8kgV)
Posted by: Jinx the Cat at April 22, 2013 12:11 PM (l3vZN)
Posted by: CAC at April 22, 2013 12:12 PM (vnJUV)
Posted by: Minnfidel at April 22, 2013 12:12 PM (+riEG)
Posted by: Bevel Lemelisk at April 22, 2013 12:12 PM (ZZPs4)
Posted by: ghostofhallelujah at April 22, 2013 12:12 PM (XvrTA)
For Dzhohkar....
Dzhohkar, Dzhohkar, you miserable little fucker.
Satan's barbed cock is going to make you pucker.
[...please feel free to add other lines to it]
Posted by: wheatie at April 22, 2013 12:12 PM (T1BD9)
Posted by: Marcus at April 22, 2013 12:12 PM (GGCsk)
The words that I write or type on this screen, do they speak for me?
Or do I speak for them, giving the words life and meaning that were not theirs before?
By the bloviating toothiness of my mindthoughts, are things unknown brought to the fore?
Or are those things we thought we knew secreted away again behind curtains of ambivalent forgetfulness?
When I spew bullshit, is it I who suffers, or is it the bull?
-"Shit This Broad Probably Wrote During a Feverish Binge of Self Affirming Aromatherapy, Volume XII"
Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit [/s][/i][/u][/b] at April 22, 2013 12:12 PM (4df7R)
That right there is some shitty poetry, and I know shitty poetry. Took a class on it on college.
Posted by: mugiwara at April 22, 2013 04:08 PM (PXq5X)
Yep, that's "crunchy figs" bad. Muy malo.
Posted by: Jay Guevara at April 22, 2013 12:13 PM (IDSI7)
Posted by: Chi-Town Jerry at April 22, 2013 12:13 PM (f9c2L)
Posted by: Gregory of Yardale at April 22, 2013 12:13 PM (QXlbZ)
Posted by: Caustic at April 22, 2013 12:13 PM (/b8+5)
Posted by: DaveinNC at April 22, 2013 12:13 PM (boNGU)
Or did the Anaconda of Accounting swallow her abacus trying to add it all up?
Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at April 22, 2013 12:14 PM (a8E3N)
Posted by: Mr. Feverhead at April 22, 2013 12:14 PM (SzAZ7)
Said, "Hey, babe, Take a walk on the wild side"
And the colored girls go
"Doo do doo do doo do do doo ..."
Posted by: Pres**ent Barack “Unexpectedly” Obama at April 22, 2013 12:14 PM (e8kgV)
Posted by: Him again at April 22, 2013 12:14 PM (FmFB3)
Posted by: FRONT TOWARD LEFT at April 22, 2013 12:14 PM (V3kRK)
Come sit next to me you fine fellow"
You run over there without a second to loose
And what comes next, hey bust a move
***
Now this is poetry^^^
Posted by: dananjcon self hating full of teenage angst woploc at April 22, 2013 12:14 PM (jvd3N)
Posted by: Burn the Witch at April 22, 2013 12:14 PM (yCvxi)
Posted by: Minnfidel at April 22, 2013 12:14 PM (+riEG)
Posted by: ghostofhallelujah at April 22, 2013 12:14 PM (XvrTA)
Posted by: model_1066 at April 22, 2013 12:15 PM (7xPCu)
Posted by: tangonine at April 22, 2013 12:15 PM (x3YFz)
Posted by: Roy at April 22, 2013 12:15 PM (VndSC)
Posted by: Nancy [i]Stretch[/i] Pelosi at April 22, 2013 12:15 PM (XYSwB)
Posted by: Bevel Lemelisk at April 22, 2013 04:09 PM (ZZPs4)
Did you see all the slobbering wannabees telling her how wonderful it was?
Posted by: Tami[/i][/b][/u][/s] at April 22, 2013 12:15 PM (X6akg)
Posted by: Him again at April 22, 2013 12:15 PM (FmFB3)
at least that pain i could relate to.
Posted by: willow at April 22, 2013 12:15 PM (nqBYe)
Posted by: mare at April 22, 2013 12:16 PM (A98Xu)
Posted by: Chi-Town Jerry at April 22, 2013 12:16 PM (f9c2L)
AlextheChick, the Left being edgy is all a one trick pony.
My growing pet peeve: hipster douchebag assholes wearing various hats that look like they've put a chamber pot on their heads. I saw TWO of them at the same place the last Thursday.
Posted by: Jay Guevara at April 22, 2013 12:16 PM (IDSI7)
Posted by: Amanda Palmer, Terrorist Fucker at April 22, 2013 12:16 PM (LCRYB)
Posted by: Baldy at April 22, 2013 12:17 PM (opS9C)
Posted by: nerdygirl at April 22, 2013 12:17 PM (6u8qx)
Posted by: mare at April 22, 2013 12:17 PM (A98Xu)
"you donÂ’t know how to dance but you give it a shot anyway."
Bet he learned real fast during the shootout.
Posted by: wth at April 22, 2013 12:17 PM (wAQA5)
Posted by: model_1066 at April 22, 2013 12:17 PM (7xPCu)
Posted by: Brother Cavil, no ampersand joke here at April 22, 2013 12:18 PM (fMiHM)
Posted by: IreneFingIrene at April 22, 2013 12:18 PM (X7MMs)
Posted by: Amanda Palmer at April 22, 2013 12:18 PM (LCRYB)
Posted by: EPA at April 22, 2013 12:18 PM (l3vZN)
There once were two brothers named Tsarnaev
Who thought "Gee, militant Islam doesn't go far enough"
We should develop a plot,
And when we get caught,
We'll look forward to years of nightly convict arse-luv
Whaddya think? Does this fully plumb the depths of my artistic soul?
Posted by: Sweet Lou at April 22, 2013 12:18 PM (NZ5oG)
Holy crap. How long would you have to be in prison before you don't need a case of beer and a light switch for her to be attractive?
I'm guessing she's about a 9 year sentence. Of course since this guy is going to be sentenced in MA he'll probably only get 5-7 so she's SOL unless he needs her as part of his 'I'm reformed now' act.
Posted by: AdamPM at April 22, 2013 12:18 PM (W9c4a)
Posted by: Jay Guevara at April 22, 2013 12:18 PM (IDSI7)
I just have to get one of those random Leftist meme generators spew something. Put it on Kickstarter and ask people to help me get it published as a large format table book...
And then $$$$
Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at April 22, 2013 12:19 PM (a8E3N)
Belafonte
Jimmy Soul
Percy Sledge
Can Gaiman be far behind? Cause man, he is living it, she is ugly inside and out, I would also wager that she can't cook.
Posted by: Sherry McEvil, FLLDFC Gangstette Wily Wench at April 22, 2013 12:19 PM (kXoT0)
http://amandapalmer.net/blog/20130330/
Posted by: Him again at April 22, 2013 04:14 PM (FmFB3)
Oh God...hairy pits and all. What is it about doofus, douchy, hipsters that make me wanna bash their fuckin heads in??
Posted by: dananjcon self hating full of teenage angst woploc at April 22, 2013 12:19 PM (jvd3N)
I just popped by to gaze in wonder at the projection required to attribute this little gem of philosophy to a hardened Muslim child-killer:
"you donÂ’t know how many vietnamese soft rolls to order."
Really!!?!?!?
Oh, and she looks less feminine than a soft vietnamese roll, IYKWIM.
Posted by: imp at April 22, 2013 12:19 PM (UaxA0)
Posted by: Minnfidel at April 22, 2013 12:19 PM (+riEG)
Roses are red, violets are blue, your brother is dead, I wish you were too.
Posted by: Fourth Virginia at April 22, 2013 12:20 PM (wbmaj)
I speak to the soul of the one that slaughtered strangers, Children, defenseless. I speak to that i can relate to it, the pain ya know!
The Pain of the killer!
sigh,
sick.of. the.weirdness.
where it is better to share empathy to one that murdered others to make points!
what points!
if they hoped to not ever be found out, what the hell does this speak to?
except a horrible disregard for our humans.
no point, just justifying to themselves silently that they have the Right to slaughter the defenselss
Posted by: willow at April 22, 2013 12:20 PM (nqBYe)
Posted by: Mr. Feverhead at April 22, 2013 12:20 PM (SzAZ7)
Posted by: Amanda Palmer at April 22, 2013 04:18 PM (LCRYB)
I laughed. A LOT.
Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit [/s][/i][/u][/b] at April 22, 2013 12:20 PM (4df7R)
I'm guessing she's about a 9 year sentence. Of course since this guy is going to be sentenced in MA he'll probably only get 5-7 so she's SOL unless he needs her as part of his 'I'm reformed now' act.
Posted by: AdamPM at April 22, 2013 04:18 PM (W9c4a)
She's a Gitmo 4. And "If it's alive, it's a 5" helps provide reference....
Posted by: tangonine at April 22, 2013 12:20 PM (x3YFz)
The time for that was 25 years ago.
When I first read this shit last night, I also thought it was a 12-year-old girl with a blog, but Wikipedia indicates she's my age.
Posted by: HeatherRadish™ needs a beer at April 22, 2013 12:20 PM (/kI1Q)
Posted by: SpongeBob Saget at April 22, 2013 12:20 PM (epxV4)
Posted by: An Amanda P. Original at April 22, 2013 12:20 PM (3+QKS)
Women flash the titty for two reasons - to get noticed initially (ex. Wendy-O-Williams of the Plasmatics who it worked quite well for)...
...or to jumpstart a failing career (pick any of a zillion washed up Hollywood actresses).
She's managed to combine the career start and career twilight all at once.
Posted by: @PurpAv at April 22, 2013 12:20 PM (/gHaE)
Posted by: wooga at April 22, 2013 12:20 PM (isa2W)
But I can't find something that rhymes with pressure cooker
*
*
Do a little Irish, and you can use "mother-fooker."
Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius at April 22, 2013 12:21 PM (BDU/a)
Posted by: nerdygirl at April 22, 2013 12:21 PM (6u8qx)
...hiding in the bottom of the boat.
And a mighty famous boat at that, second in MA only to that one that Mary Jo Kopechne ended up hiding in.
Posted by: Roy at April 22, 2013 12:21 PM (VndSC)
Write me up for one-fiftyfive
Post my face, Wanted: Dead or Alive
Runned over my brother and all that jive.
I. Can't. Drive. Fifty-Five!
Posted by: Dzhozkar Hagar at April 22, 2013 12:21 PM (BAS5M)
79 Canadian suspects receiving support from Al Qaeda elements in --
Iran.
Posted by: tasker at April 22, 2013 03:59 PM (r2PLg)
Posted by: Pyrocles at April 22, 2013 12:21 PM (cv5Iw)
Posted by: Baldy at April 22, 2013 12:21 PM (opS9C)
Have you seen the photo of Melissa Gilbert and her lesbian fiancee? The hat on the fiancee is ugly? Why the ugly hats and rags hanging out of your ugly ripped jeans?
Posted by: Sherry McEvil, FLLDFC Gangstette Wily Wench at April 22, 2013 12:22 PM (kXoT0)
Posted by: ghostofhallelujah at April 22, 2013 12:22 PM (XvrTA)
But I can't find something that rhymes with pressure cooker
"Game of snooker"
"TJ Hooker"
"'Cuff and book 'er.'"
Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit [/s][/i][/u][/b] at April 22, 2013 12:22 PM (4df7R)
Posted by: model_1066 at April 22, 2013 04:17 PM (7xPCu)
___
haiku response:
eyebrow hairs do not
itch like a muthafucka
when they grow back yo
Posted by: kallisto at April 22, 2013 12:22 PM (jm/9g)
Posted by: tsrblke (work)[/i][/b][/u][/s] at April 22, 2013 12:22 PM (Dcokn)
Posted by: nerdygirl at April 22, 2013 12:23 PM (6u8qx)
And no one ever listens. Sniff.
Posted by: HeatherRadish™ needs a beer at April 22, 2013 12:23 PM (/kI1Q)
Oh, shit, this was the Dresden Dolls woman? Geez, what a numbfuck she turned out to be.
Coin Operated Boy was an amusing and catchy song
Posted by: imp at April 22, 2013 12:23 PM (UaxA0)
Posted by: no good deed at April 22, 2013 12:23 PM (mjR67)
Posted by: Mike Moore [/i] at April 22, 2013 12:23 PM (feFL6)
This is why I don't pay attention to the chattering glitterati.
Must have missed those chamber pot hats. Oh wait I spent two days with heroes and patriots. That is probably why.
Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at April 22, 2013 12:23 PM (a8E3N)
Posted by: LizLem at April 22, 2013 12:23 PM (8wqqE)
Posted by: Margaret Cho, soft roll, but neither tranny nor Vietnamese at April 22, 2013 12:24 PM (isa2W)
You're such a cowardly dick. Such a weasel it makes me sick.
You ran over your brother and killed him. The bullet holes also filled him.
HAHAHA. HAHAHA. HAHAHA
You shot your self in the neck. Try the temple next time, you worthless speck.
Posted by: Marcus at April 22, 2013 12:24 PM (GGCsk)
“The … analysis that the Boston attacks are a setback for immigration reform appears wrongheaded, as we learn more about the story. The fault here wasn't our immigration system, since the suspects immigrated legally a decade ago as kids and apparently were radicalized here. If anything, the fault lies with our society and domestic intelligence services. Given the facts, the events in Boston seem unlikely to stoke nativist sentiments that may derail immigration reform. To the contrary, to the extent it renews fears of terrorism, it will strengthen the case for reform, since the bipartisan proposal fixes major gaps in our national security posture (by implementing a visa-exit system, registering and background-checking undocumented immigrants, gaining 100% awareness of our southern border, etc.). ”
Posted by: George Bernard Shaw at April 22, 2013 12:24 PM (e8kgV)
PLEASE LOOK AT ME!!!
Posted by: mare
***
Doggy style is done for a reason. Put your face back in the pillow and be quiet.
Posted by: Tilikum the Killer Assault Whale at April 22, 2013 12:25 PM (uhftQ)
Posted by: A Man duh Palm Job at April 22, 2013 12:25 PM (N3Al8)
Posted by: CAC at April 22, 2013 12:25 PM (vnJUV)
Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at April 22, 2013 12:25 PM (a8E3N)
Posted by: BlueStateRebel at April 22, 2013 12:25 PM (7ObY1)
>> you donÂ’t know how to dance but you give it a shot anyway.
What a terrible musical cliche. She fails.
Posted by: dan-O at April 22, 2013 12:25 PM (s7Z/z)
We can't protect you...but we're really good at showing Empathy afterward.
Showing empathy.
That's one of the things we're actually good at.
So why would we want to keep these tragic events from happening?
It gives us a chance to show how much we care.
And celebrating Diversity is more important than catching terrorists.
Posted by: Your Government Betters at April 22, 2013 12:25 PM (T1BD9)
Posted by: tasker at April 22, 2013 12:26 PM (r2PLg)
Posted by: Josef at April 22, 2013 12:26 PM (24MGL)
Posted by: nerdygirl at April 22, 2013 04:23 PM (6u8qx)
Mix and match the following-
To rhyme with "Speed-":
Breed
Need
Bead
Creed
Aniseed
Palsied
Atrophied
To rhyme with "-bump":
Thump
Pump
Hump
Rump
Dump
Heffalump
Donald Trump
Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit [/s][/i][/u][/b] at April 22, 2013 12:26 PM (4df7R)
Posted by: Amanda Palmer's Fragrant Snatch at April 22, 2013 12:26 PM (yCvxi)
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I'm so f*cking sick of anti-American immigrants,
Close the f*cking border already you dumb pricks in Congress.
*scratches head*
May need some work
Posted by: enough already at April 22, 2013 12:26 PM (mQQjP)
Posted by: The Eyebrows of Amanda Palmer at April 22, 2013 12:26 PM (j2lYi)
Sara Gilbert. My bad. She recently realized that she was a Lesbian trapped in a heterosexual life style. She is engaged to Linda Perry. http://search.yahoo.com/search?fr=mcafee&p=sara+gilbert+engaged
Posted by: Sherry McEvil, FLLDFC Gangstette Wily Wench at April 22, 2013 12:26 PM (kXoT0)
Posted by: Dzhokhar the Pokar at April 22, 2013 12:27 PM (wAQA5)
Posted by: Amanda Palmer at April 22, 2013 12:27 PM (SzAZ7)
(waves hands in front of face, snaps fingers, oscillates head back and forth, says 'Mm-Hmmm!)
Posted by: Sort-of-Mad Max at April 22, 2013 12:27 PM (DLu2s)
Well, shit, the current President of the United States scammed Americans out of nine hundred billion dollars for a "stimulus" program which couldn't possibly cost that much and is now unable to fully account for why he now needs even more money to accomplish goals that the original stimulus was supposed to accomplish.
And America just re-elected that guy for another four years.
So being careless with $1.2M of other people's money probably isn't going to be much of a career impediment. In the era of Obamanomics, it's a rounding error.
Posted by: torquewrench at April 22, 2013 12:28 PM (gqT4g)
If anything, the fault lies with our society and domestic intelligence services.
Rubio really needs to fire all these leftists on his staff.
Posted by: soothsayer diamond at April 22, 2013 12:28 PM (Fely/)
Posted by: A-Hole at April 22, 2013 12:28 PM (Lre/J)
Posted by: Waldo Truth at April 22, 2013 12:28 PM (y2XjR)
Posted by: Amanda 'Running out of ideas' Palmer at April 22, 2013 12:28 PM (UZuc4)
over there
It ate my cat
but I don't care.
love me daddy
please show me you care
why do you hate me
is it the hair?
That'll be $27.50.
Posted by: Amanda Palmer at April 22, 2013 12:28 PM (WCe8r)
Posted by: Amanda Palmer's conservative brother at April 22, 2013 12:28 PM (0oG8l)
Thump
Pump
Hump
Rump
Dump
Heffalump
Donald Trump Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit at April 22, 2013 04:26 PM
Don't forget "slump" and "lump!"
Posted by: MrScribbler at April 22, 2013 12:28 PM (mHrip)
Posted by: rickb223 at April 22, 2013 12:29 PM (GFM2b)
Posted by: no good deed at April 22, 2013 12:29 PM (mjR67)
Posted by: Beagle at April 22, 2013 12:29 PM (sOtz/)
but she will claim she is. in a second. or a minute. but it will come.
Posted by: willow at April 22, 2013 12:29 PM (nqBYe)
Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at April 22, 2013 12:29 PM (a8E3N)
Posted by: Lizzy at April 22, 2013 12:29 PM (KqmXZ)
maybe inspired by that classic "Whitey's on the Moon" or the deeply under-appreciated southern ballad "My Shit Don't Stink `Cause I Drink Pine-Sol"
Posted by: mallfly at April 22, 2013 12:29 PM (bJm7W)
Posted by: A-Hole at April 22, 2013 12:30 PM (Lre/J)
Posted by: Assault Citizen Anachronda, looking for loopholes at April 22, 2013 12:30 PM (xGZ+b)
Such a thin line between 'ironic' and 'moronic'.
Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at April 22, 2013 12:30 PM (pxDth)
Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at April 22, 2013 12:31 PM (a8E3N)
Posted by: mallfly at April 22, 2013 12:31 PM (bJm7W)
Posted by: Joejm65 at April 22, 2013 12:31 PM (UZuc4)
Posted by: Lizzy at April 22, 2013 12:31 PM (KqmXZ)
Posted by: filbert at April 22, 2013 12:31 PM (7vimm)
is such a hateful term
for anyone
to use
because I cannot
find a single word
with which
it
rhymes.
that'll be $32.75
Posted by: Amanda Palmer at April 22, 2013 12:32 PM (WCe8r)
Posted by: Repairman Jack at April 22, 2013 12:32 PM (AOhaJ)
Posted by: Minnfidel at April 22, 2013 12:32 PM (+riEG)
Maybe about Jose Canseco's newest painting: Donald Trump the wise dragondragon?
Posted by: RoyalOil at April 22, 2013 12:33 PM (VjL9S)
what about it amanda. is killing others ok, if you think the guy is a tortured soul?
in what cases is killing children and defenseless strangers ok amanda?
perhaps if they attacked you or yours?
did they?
no
so what amanda is the reason you can speak so empathetically to a guy killing a random child and maiming a hundred others?
and your concern comes first for the murder, did you give the random child and random stranger a thought?
Posted by: willow at April 22, 2013 12:34 PM (nqBYe)
Yep. Sure is.
You can bet your bottom dollar that they're looking desperately for a sympathetic picture of the older killer with him looking cute and vulnerable back at about age eleven.
Posted by: torquewrench at April 22, 2013 12:34 PM (gqT4g)
Posted by: Him again at April 22, 2013 12:34 PM (FmFB3)
Sherry McEvil, FLLDFC Gangstette Wily Wench, holy cow.
Linda Perry looks like a cross between Rosie Perez and Sandra Bernhart. Oy. Love is truly blind.
Posted by: Tilikum the Killer Assault Whale at April 22, 2013 12:34 PM (uhftQ)
http://tinyurl.com/cgyrxmy
Posted by: Caustic at April 22, 2013 12:34 PM (/b8+5)
Posted by: nerdygirl at April 22, 2013 12:34 PM (6u8qx)
Posted by: Whoopie Goldberg at April 22, 2013 12:34 PM (ggRof)
Posted by: somebody else, not me at April 22, 2013 12:35 PM (29vnO)
Posted by: Additional Blond Agent at April 22, 2013 12:35 PM (PMGbu)
Posted by: Will Folks at April 22, 2013 12:35 PM (XruKb)
Listen, with the Canada plot and Boston bombing, this has been a tough week for liberals.
Stay well clear of one unless it appears relaxed. Do not make direct eye contact. Do not run or it will pursue!
Posted by: PJ at April 22, 2013 12:36 PM (ZWaLo)
you don't know how it feels...
you don't know how it feels...
to be real.....
stupid
(that's a freebie. wouldn't want to have to pay Tom Petty anything...)
Posted by: Amanda Palmer at April 22, 2013 12:36 PM (WCe8r)
Posted by: Tilikum the Killer Assault Whale at April 22, 2013 12:36 PM (uhftQ)
Posted by: Amanda Palmer at April 22, 2013 12:36 PM (ggRof)
I just got an email from the Weekly Standard supporting internet sales tax! It's a third party email with the disclaimer that the views do not necessarily those of the WS, but omg. If there are "conservatives" who support REID's bill, I guess it's a foregone conclusion that we'll be taxed online. Damn.
Does anyone know of any senators on the record against this? I'm hoping for Cruz...
Posted by: Aslan's Girl at April 22, 2013 12:37 PM (KL49F)
Posted by: Truck Monkey at April 22, 2013 12:37 PM (jucos)
Posted by: toby928© Red Partisan at April 22, 2013 12:37 PM (evdj2)
Posted by: Minnfidel at April 22, 2013 12:37 PM (+riEG)
It's gonna be hard for them. There's no photography in Dagestan.
No indoor plumbing either.
I denounce myself.
Posted by: Sean Bannion[/i][/u][/s][/b] at April 22, 2013 12:37 PM (sbV1u)
It looks like she's already married to Tim Burton's and Harry Dean Stanton's younger brother.
Posted by: lowandslow at April 22, 2013 12:37 PM (Fz2C7)
Posted by: dfbaskwill at April 22, 2013 12:38 PM (71LDo)
how many children were killed in the last months here.
it's really burning me out emotionally.
Posted by: willow at April 22, 2013 12:38 PM (nqBYe)
Posted by: Repairman Jack at April 22, 2013 04:32 PM (AOhaJ)
You reap what you sow. Are you one of those guys who don't believe in keeping score and everyone should be equally miserable?
Posted by: polynikes at April 22, 2013 12:38 PM (m2CN7)
Posted by: Robert Frost at April 22, 2013 12:39 PM (SzAZ7)
well they do say long term couples eventually grow to look like one another....
Tim and Stanton make a cute couple
Posted by: sven10077@sven10077 at April 22, 2013 12:39 PM (LRFds)
Dzhoke gimme a poke.
There's no goats to hump
Would you find me attractive
with no legs just stumps?
Posted by: A man, duh at April 22, 2013 12:39 PM (wAQA5)
This is the kind of "more empathetic than thou" shit that liberals post on Facebook.
http://tinyurl.com/bw7jvcv
Posted by: Warden at April 22, 2013 12:39 PM (HzhBE)
A poem for Amanda:
you don't know if the braids you so lovingly put in your anal hair will make him happy
you don't know if they'll get tugged on just the way you want
you don't know how to stop picking at them
you don't know if you should have put beads in the ends, or simply tightened them down with dental bands like you did.
you don't know if 8 3/8 inch long anal hair is a world record
you don't know if the guy in front of you at Chipotle can smell them, and you're scared, because you know they are ripe
and i guess that you just don't know...
Posted by: i like anchors at April 22, 2013 12:40 PM (nBE5A)
Posted by: kathysaysso at April 22, 2013 12:40 PM (6H6o8)
332 The prom picture is the Treyvonization of the killer.
Yep...very similar, Anna.
I wonder if Michael Moore will demand to see the pictures of the bloody victims?
Posted by: wheatie at April 22, 2013 12:40 PM (T1BD9)
Posted by: Ashley Judd's Puffy Scamper, formerly MrCaniac at April 22, 2013 12:40 PM (Zd/NW)
Been trying to think of a pome. Can't. And I still look better than that scrunt.
Posted by: Soona at April 22, 2013 12:40 PM (l5qqw)
Posted by: Longfellow at April 22, 2013 12:41 PM (jucos)
Posted by: Amandy Palmer at April 22, 2013 12:41 PM (j2lYi)
Posted by: Fart at April 22, 2013 12:41 PM (2aB+q)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0xH_AoAKPfs
"Everybody knows it's coming apart
Take one last look at this sacred heart
Before it blows
And everybody knows"
Posted by: Lizzy at April 22, 2013 12:41 PM (KqmXZ)
if the wife read that literally likely....
just got home from Ohio and am setting up her new laptop for her Professional Schools in June....
so that'll buy me a small grace period.
went and visited my ex....best anti-aphrodesiac I know....her daughter smiled.
I am getting old, slowly but ever so surely
Posted by: sven10077@sven10077 at April 22, 2013 12:41 PM (LRFds)
I just need to applaud that collection of words.
Posted by: ArrMatey at April 22, 2013 12:41 PM (Vf2XE)
As my fellow Chicago area morons can attest, any time some gang-banger gets totaled by his rivals in a drive-by, you can count on some sob-sister reporter interviewing his relatives who are quick to assure us young DeMarkDown was just getting his life together at 17 and was going to finish school and go to college and star on the basketball team, just as soon as his parole for juvie manslaughter and narcotics was up.
Posted by: Sort-of-Mad Max at April 22, 2013 12:41 PM (DLu2s)
Anoint my head, annointy-nointy.<<<<
Ah, m favorite one armed poet.
Mz Palmers face does not bring thoughts of kissage.
Posted by: Dr. Hfuhruhurr at April 22, 2013 12:42 PM (nTgAI)
Posted by: RM at April 22, 2013 12:42 PM (/Frlf)
I am love and empathy
But for only $3.79
I promise I will buy
Summer's Eve
So you cannot smell me
anymore
Posted by: Amanda Palmer at April 22, 2013 12:43 PM (WCe8r)
Posted by: rickb223 at April 22, 2013 12:43 PM (GFM2b)
Dzhoke gimme a poke.
There's no goats to hump
Would you find me attractive
with no legs just stumps?
Burma Shave
Posted by: A man, duh
FTFY
Posted by: Tilikum the Killer Assault Whale at April 22, 2013 12:44 PM (uhftQ)
Yeah he may not know any of that shit, but he sure knows how to make a fucking bomb. Fucking murderer.
Posted by: DangerGirl @deadlyestrogen at April 22, 2013 12:44 PM (GrtrJ)
Most of the trolls who show up here epitomize that.
You can thank the special snowflake generation for years more of it to come.
Posted by: Sean Bannion[/i][/u][/s][/b] at April 22, 2013 12:44 PM (sbV1u)
Sven's non cryptic depressing thought of the day...
you and since I agree I guess "we" are quickly becoming the illegal aliens in our own civilization...
the things that made the American different than the rest of the world are willfully being murdered....
we'll need to go conquer a new frontier to get away from these assholes.
Posted by: sven10077@sven10077 at April 22, 2013 12:44 PM (LRFds)
you donÂ’t know how precious your iphone battery time was until youÂ’re hiding in the bottom of the boat.
you donÂ’t know how to get away from your fucking parents.
it really is over.
Posted by: Future. Of . America. at April 22, 2013 12:45 PM (EZl54)
Posted by: @PurpAv at April 22, 2013 12:46 PM (/gHaE)
dilemma! by amanda palmer
my butthole is stained
and stinky, so much so bad, so many years
oh chipotle! i hate... no, i love you
i cannot clean it myself
i want to get it bleached
but that will be embarrassing
and hurt my high rank average
at ratemyshitstaindotcom
remember always i
love
you
dilemma
i can't stop picking at it
and smelling
dilemma
Posted by: i like anchors at April 22, 2013 12:46 PM (nBE5A)
Posted by: Longfellow at April 22, 2013 12:47 PM (jucos)
AP April 22nd 2013
When asked to comment about the poem penned for him by Amanda Palmer, Dzhozkar Tsarnaev was quoted as saying. "Guuuuuug Kllllloohaaa Nuuuumm".
Posted by: Minnfidel at April 22, 2013 12:47 PM (+riEG)
"Hey guys, look at this stupid twat's awful poetry. We're so much better than her and the others like her that I need to waste ten verbose paragraphs over it."
Posted by: Repairman Jack at April 22, 2013 04:32 PM (AOhaJ)
Lighten up Francis.
Posted by: dananjcon self hating full of teenage angst woploc at April 22, 2013 12:47 PM (jvd3N)
What the hell, it's a living.
Posted by: Gel-Coat Gil's Fiberglas Repair and Boat Washing Service at April 22, 2013 12:48 PM (DLu2s)
Posted by: palooka at April 22, 2013 12:48 PM (yGEWb)
Posted by: Sam-I-am at April 22, 2013 12:48 PM (7vimm)
Posted by: Angela Beegle at April 22, 2013 12:48 PM (4aMrk)
Posted by: sven10077@sven10077 at April 22, 2013 04:44 PM (LRFds)
--------------------------------------
Preferably some place warm, with palm trees and nekkid women.
Posted by: Soona at April 22, 2013 12:49 PM (l5qqw)
Posted by: Warden at April 22, 2013 12:49 PM (HzhBE)
my hemorrhoids, by amanda palmer
ahhh, beauty
like calimari
my hemorrhoids
my lusty, beautiful, shit-crusted hemorrhoids
Posted by: i like anchors at April 22, 2013 12:49 PM (nBE5A)
the words I have written
to show you that I care
if only you had known
how I felt about you
if only you had read my words
you probably would
have never let go
of the pressure cooker
Posted by: Amanda Palmer at April 22, 2013 12:50 PM (WCe8r)
I wonder if there is any way we can convince what remains of decent people in Mexico to hire US veterans and conservatives to help them with the Narcotrafficante problem?
Barring that maybe post Castro Cuba?
Posted by: sven10077@sven10077 at April 22, 2013 12:52 PM (LRFds)
Posted by: Wiccapundit at April 22, 2013 12:52 PM (pwb0T)
Posted by: Amanda Palmer's eyebrows at April 22, 2013 12:53 PM (+riEG)
Posted by: Brother Cavil, no ampersand joke here at April 22, 2013 12:53 PM (fMiHM)
Brass hangs in the air
Tumbling, tumbling Earthward
Raining like a cow pissing on a flat rock
Tsarnaevs accept 62 grains of fate
Repeated over again like Shep on coke
Soak up the pain at 2800 terminal
Like a filthy jizz mop
Posted by: Some Poetitical Dude at April 22, 2013 12:54 PM (4I3Uo)
Posted by: Truck Monkey at April 22, 2013 12:54 PM (jucos)
your light slowly fading
pain
suffering
i have but one simple question
was I playing on your iPod?
Posted by: Amanda Palmer at April 22, 2013 12:54 PM (WCe8r)
Posted by: Motorhead at April 22, 2013 12:55 PM (1FCU7)
Barring that maybe post Castro Cuba?
Posted by: sven10077@sven10077 at April 22, 2013 04:52 PM (LRFds)
--------------------------------------------
I've been wanting Cuba to open up since the 80's. But Mehico? Only if I get to bring my guns along.
Posted by: Soona at April 22, 2013 12:55 PM (l5qqw)
Honestly, this is the guy for the next MacArthur Genius Grant.
Posted by: Sort-of-Mad Max at April 22, 2013 12:56 PM (DLu2s)
Maybe part of the pioneer project should be reduced cost instant immersion Spanish sets?
No seriously I'll bring it up with the guys next meeting.
Posted by: sven10077@sven10077 at April 22, 2013 12:56 PM (LRFds)
Si....this is a "long march" idea ese....of course if Mexopolis hired us to go settle in Narco ville and wanted amred Gringos to come visit...
it was how Texas came to be
Posted by: sven10077@sven10077 at April 22, 2013 12:58 PM (LRFds)
Posted by: sven10077@sven10077 at April 22, 2013 12:58 PM (LRFds)
Posted by: Amandy Palmer at April 22, 2013 01:01 PM (j2lYi)
No seriously I'll bring it up with the guys next meeting.
Posted by: sven10077@sven10077 at April 22, 2013 04:56 PM (LRFds)
--------------------------------------------
We could headquarter ourselves in Vegas and patrol the US/Mehican border. We could buy really snappy uniforms.
Okay, okay. I'll quit. The Spanish wouldn't hurt, I guess. We'll all have to speak it anyway if things keep going the way they are.
Posted by: Soona at April 22, 2013 01:02 PM (l5qqw)
Posted by: Minnfidel at April 22, 2013 01:03 PM (+riEG)
Did you migrate to form a fringe 'round my squeaker?
Did you know that I once drank horse cum from a beaker?
*
*
I'm hurting myself laughing.
Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius at April 22, 2013 01:06 PM (BDU/a)
Heh I'm sure it reads that way. I think mostly the goal is a moron relocation society and trying to lay the groundwork for a few projects and side businesses.
I am not as nutty as I play on PC...well okay maybe I am that nutty but it is targeted lunacy
Posted by: sven10077@sven10077 at April 22, 2013 01:06 PM (LRFds)
it was how Texas came to be
Posted by: sven10077@sven10077 at April 22, 2013 04:58 PM (LRFds)
------------------------------------------
How's this. We learn all the spanish lingo, and then forcibly colonize Costa Rica. I'll have to think about this some more.
Posted by: Soona at April 22, 2013 01:07 PM (l5qqw)
Posted by: Charlie Kilo at April 22, 2013 01:07 PM (xiRVf)
I am not as nutty as I play on PC...well okay maybe I am that nutty but it is targeted lunacy
Posted by: sven10077@sven10077 at April 22, 2013 05:06 PM (LRFds)
------------------------------------------
Don't we already have Alextopia? I thought it was a done deal.
Please don't tell me it was just internet musings.
Posted by: Soona at April 22, 2013 01:11 PM (l5qqw)
@432 "Honestly, this is the guy for the next MacArthur Genius Grant. "
Grant? As in free money? I'll get all poetitical up in your ass for that shit.
Posted by: Some Poetitical Dude at April 22, 2013 01:12 PM (4I3Uo)
Posted by: Margarita DeVille at April 22, 2013 01:13 PM (C8mVl)
Sam-I-am at April 22, 2013 04:48 PM "Would you, could you, on a boat? "
Would she could she during visiting hours, when little Douchebag is behind bars?
Would she could she be his pen pal or break through the Supermax wall with a car?
Posted by: Wendy at April 22, 2013 01:15 PM (KydDZ)
Heh I think Alextopia will be down the road...
of course maybe she'll be our first elected mayor for life.
Posted by: sven10077@sven10077 at April 22, 2013 01:15 PM (LRFds)
Posted by: nightfly at April 22, 2013 01:27 PM (jiOft)
This chick looks like a female version of that mannequin on the Saw movies.
She will haunt my nightmares.
Damn you, Ace, damn you to hell
Posted by: RayJ at April 22, 2013 01:56 PM (pI/IV)
Posted by: Dang at April 22, 2013 02:02 PM (R18D0)
Posted by: mobius at April 22, 2013 02:44 PM (1aenQ)
Posted by: Captain Hate at April 22, 2013 03:12 PM (huAxf)
Posted by: Sgt. Mom at April 22, 2013 03:22 PM (PvxhO)
I love this blog.
The stupidest thing I ever did was fall in love with a woman who thought things like this. She went full-blown lefty by the time I was done with her. I wasted way too much time assuring her that she looked good.
Posted by: Shoot Me at April 22, 2013 03:22 PM (qiXMt)
She's a rebel never doing what she should...
And so on.
Posted by: Mikey NTH - Pirate Scum of Umbar at April 22, 2013 05:04 PM (gmoEG)
Posted by: Repairman Jack at April 22, 2013 10:00 PM (AOhaJ)
Would it be too F**king hard to light a candle, say a prayer, write a poem for the victims? Oh, I forgot, You are "Nuanced" and better than the rest of us.
Posted by: Dale the Witless at April 23, 2013 04:09 AM (csnnJ)
Too many times I've seen it, some place somewhere. I just don't remember. This "so-called poetry" is easy to forget. It you insist on calling this stuff poetry, then you don't know how poetry is written.
I didn't write the following "poem," but it does a good job in describing what your life should be about:
Choices is the title of this "Poetic Essay".
We do not choose to be born.
We do not choose our birthplace.
We do not choose our historical era nor the country of our birth or the immediate circumstance of our upbringing.
We do not, most of us, choose to die nor do we choose the time or condition of our death. But within this realm we do choose how we shall life; courageously or cowardly,
honorably or dishonorably,
with purpose or adrift.
We decide what is important and what is trivial in life.
We decide that what makes us significant is either what we do or what we refuse to do.
But no matter how indifferent the universe may be to our choices and decisions, these choices and decicisions are ours to make.
We decide
We choose.
And as we decide and choose, so are our lives formed.
Thus, choosing our own destiny is what life is about.
If we do not care, we have already chosen our destiny.
"There is more, but this should be enough for you to understand where the author was coming from when he or she wrote down these thoughts for other people to read. That's my message." Dale Hogue
Posted by: Dale Hogue at April 23, 2013 08:26 AM (EgmT2)
Posted by: Dale Hogue at April 23, 2013 08:38 AM (EgmT2)
Posted by: motownmutt at April 24, 2013 04:20 AM (aaQ46)
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Posted by: real joe at April 22, 2013 11:49 AM (F4qFf)