Ace of Spades HQ

June 06, 2013

— Ace

Twitter is where I get to see the thoughts of everyday, regular stupid people that I've excluded from my actual life.
— DepressiveBlogger69 (@AceofSpadesHQ) June 4, 2013

I had written that because I saw a lefty claiming that in a "GOP-Free America," death would no longer exist. That's right -- the GOP is in the pocket of Big Death. The Reaper plies us with campaign donations to keep Death alive.

Thanks, Citizens United!

A bit later, completely randomly, I noted an old joke of mine, which appeared on this site back in 2004 or 2005, but I felt like telling it again.

The testicles are the breasts of the groin.Think about it.
— DepressiveBlogger69 (@AceofSpadesHQ) June 4, 2013

As if to prove my original statement, a Twitter user now came in to say:

@Wilbs999 4 Jun
@SissyWillis @MelissaTweets @AceofSpadesHQ <----That's an interesting comment. And incorrect. But then sexual illiteracy is rampant.

I can't embed the actual Tweets because the account is blocking me. I guess you'll see why.

At any rate, now begins a Great Scientific Debate over social media.

To be resolved: Are testicles the breasts of the groin?

In favor: Me

Against: A random Twitter Person I'll just call "Professor Science"

I have been corrected & informed by @wilbs999 that the testicles are not, in fact, the breasts of the groin. Thank you sir, I will update.
— DepressiveBlogger69 (@AceofSpadesHQ) June 4, 2013

I am now informed by @wilbs999 that this is medically incorrect and a sign of rampant "sexual illiteracy."I'm sorry I steered you wrong.
— DepressiveBlogger69 (@AceofSpadesHQ) June 4, 2013

For the record, then, it is medically inaccurate to refer to testicles as "croch-tits" or "zipper cleavage."
— DepressiveBlogger69 (@AceofSpadesHQ) June 4, 2013

I regret if there has been any misunderstanding about my comments on trouser-juggs. @wilbs999 @brunette_w
— DepressiveBlogger69 (@AceofSpadesHQ) June 4, 2013

Response:

‏@Wilbs999 4 Jun
@AceofSpadesHQ Maybe you should attempt a defense of it, then. @SissyWillis @MelissaTweets

Again, I'm blocked from actually embedding the tweet.

@Wilbs999 4 Jun
@AceofSpadesHQ Defend it.
Retweeted by DepressiveBlogger69

I am now being demanded to "defend [my gross mischaracterization of testicles as dick-hooters]." I cannot. I can only apologize anew.
— DepressiveBlogger69 (@AceofSpadesHQ) June 4, 2013

I'm sorry once again for putting out anti-science misinformation about testicles being jock-knockers.
— DepressiveBlogger69 (@AceofSpadesHQ) June 4, 2013

If there's a cultural faultline in America, it's mons-pumpkins.
— DepressiveBlogger69 (@AceofSpadesHQ) June 4, 2013

But some inquiring minds were interested in my bold scientific thesis.

@thepantau I glue raisins to them.
— DepressiveBlogger69 (@AceofSpadesHQ) June 4, 2013

Now informed it's a joke that she didn't get, WillsBS insists that it sounds nothing like any so-called "joke" she's ever heard.

@willbs999 Doesn't sound like a joke... Try enhancing your wardrobe to expose your "cleavage" then.

Burn.

@Wilbs999 4 Jun
@Brunette_W @AceofSpadesHQ I see now that I've picked up some kind of Howard Stern clown. I don't find that sort of humor funny.

Apparently not.

At this point Professor Science wandered off, but there was still yet one question to be answered:

we call the male version of moose knuckle "elkfurrow" @thepantau
— DepressiveBlogger69 (@AceofSpadesHQ) June 4, 2013

Posted by: Ace at 12:25 PM | Comments (139)
Post contains 512 words, total size 6 kb.

1 Mmmm Boobehs.

Posted by: Minnfidel at June 06, 2013 12:26 PM (/tc03)

2 Oh yea and Foist!

Posted by: Minnfidel at June 06, 2013 12:27 PM (/tc03)

3 I think I need to get on Twitter just to follow Ace.

Posted by: PAgirlinNC at June 06, 2013 12:27 PM (mPKiR)

When will we see..."The Testicle Monologues"?

Or maybe..."The Penis Monologues"?

Posted by: wheatie at June 06, 2013 12:27 PM (ZiafE)

5 Barney Frank approves this message.

Posted by: Minnfidel at June 06, 2013 12:28 PM (/tc03)

6 Barney Frank likes this >

Posted by: Minnfidel at June 06, 2013 12:28 PM (/tc03)

7 Balls said the queen....

Posted by: dananjcon at June 06, 2013 12:29 PM (jvd3N)

8 Father's Milk?

Posted by: Dang at June 06, 2013 12:29 PM (Hx2XA)

9 This means that a jock is not really a push-up bra worn in the pants...

Posted by: Arbalest at June 06, 2013 12:29 PM (FlRtG)

10 Well, let's just say that I'm glad they don't do scans for testicular cancer like they do mammograms.

Posted by: Rich Fader at June 06, 2013 12:30 PM (dt8Su)

11 I thought boobs were the testicles of the chest, of course I think like a man.

Posted by: Smokin' Joe Biden at June 06, 2013 12:30 PM (3+QKS)

12 The dong is the epiglottis of the groin-throat.

Posted by: Gristle Encased Head at June 06, 2013 12:31 PM (+lsX1)

13 I think I need to get on Twitter just to follow Ace.

Posted by: PAgirlinNC at June 06, 2013 04:27 PM (mPKiR)

It loses its luster after the first few hundred tweets. Twitter is the Chinese food of the interwebs.

Posted by: dananjcon at June 06, 2013 12:31 PM (jvd3N)

14 My nipples are erect reading this. I better sit down before someone notices.

Posted by: Dick Morris at June 06, 2013 12:31 PM (oiiqn)

15 STOMP, STOMP, STOMP.

Posted by: Dr Spank at June 06, 2013 12:32 PM (3+QKS)

Ironic that one of the funniest Twitter interactions I've ever read was directed at what has to be the dullest, most humorless person on the internet.

Posted by: Warden at June 06, 2013 12:32 PM (HzhBE)

17 Ace, you should link those twits to your "Goose and Slider" post from back in the day...

Posted by: AltonJackson@work at June 06, 2013 12:32 PM (9HP5k)

18 Ace, the penis is the breast of the groin area. But this applies to males only.

Posted by: John P. Squibob at June 06, 2013 12:33 PM (kqqGm)

19 It's here...it's gone...it's back!

Posted by: Dr. DangerGirl Ph.F.D., B! @deadlyestrogen at June 06, 2013 12:33 PM (GrtrJ)

20 The taint is the filtrum of the crotch.

Posted by: Gristle Encased Head at June 06, 2013 12:33 PM (+lsX1)

21 tears of laughter *reaches for a tissue

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at June 06, 2013 12:33 PM (XYSwB)

22 Ironic that one of the funniest Twitter interactions I've ever read was directed at the what has to be the dullest,most humorless person on the internet.

**

Paul Krugman?

Posted by: dananjcon at June 06, 2013 12:33 PM (jvd3N)

23 I mean, that was right up there with Erg vs The Volcano.

Posted by: Warden at June 06, 2013 12:33 PM (HzhBE)

24 A plugin in the sidebar showing recent twitter activity would be good. That way those of us who don't bother with Twitter can see what Ace is up to when he's neglecting us.

Posted by: Xander Crews at June 06, 2013 12:34 PM (HbmXA)

25 The balls on that guy.

Posted by: Blue Vein Trouser Trout at June 06, 2013 12:35 PM (mETGQ)

26 "@Wilbs999 4 Jun @Brunette_W @AceofSpadesHQ I see now that I've picked up some kind of Howard Stern clown. I don't find that sort of humor funny." Wow, I'm laughing my ass off. Either these people have no sense of humor or I am one sick puppy.

Posted by: nerdygirl at June 06, 2013 12:35 PM (Kln64)

27
And without capitalism, there is no greed.

And without Israel, there is no war.

Without religion, there is also no war.

Finally, without oil and coal, there is no climate change.

Posted by: soothsayer, malicious communicator at June 06, 2013 12:35 PM (052zE)

28 That was truly insane. I was just shaking my head laughing at this goofball.

Posted by: Andy at June 06, 2013 12:35 PM (nfBNO)

29 I'm not sexually illiterate. I'm sexually dyslexic. I like to have sex with grills.

Posted by: Taro Tsujimoto at June 06, 2013 12:35 PM (celt+)

30 I just might have to get into twitter if Ace keeps this up.

This line though, just made me laugh even before I got to the meat of the post:

I can't embed the actual Tweets because the account is blocking me. I guess you'll see why.

Posted by: Heralder at June 06, 2013 12:35 PM (+xmn4)

31 Soooooo Man Boobs aren't what I thought they were?

Posted by: typo dynamofo at June 06, 2013 12:36 PM (WVMUQ)

32 Barack Obama is a stuttering clusterf*ck of a malignant traitor.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at June 06, 2013 12:36 PM (/PCJa)

33 Boobehs? I'm listening..

Posted by: Yip at June 06, 2013 12:36 PM (/jHWN)

34 Oh baby, look at the interscrotal cleft on that guy!

Posted by: Dr. DangerGirl Ph.F.D., B! @deadlyestrogen at June 06, 2013 12:36 PM (GrtrJ)

35 Ace, You have allot of contenders there but nothing beats... Fat Twat Ponce!...still!

Posted by: Brian at June 06, 2013 12:36 PM (UnMRd)

36 Whoa! where did the penis joke go?

Posted by: dananjcon at June 06, 2013 12:37 PM (jvd3N)

37 Literal gold, Ace. Saw this on Twitter while it was happening. Seeing as money will soon be worthless, jokes like this will become a de facto currency. And having the NSA listen in and have 10-15 "workers" try to figure it out, is probably the sheen on the actual gold. Huzzah.

Posted by: dfbaskwill at June 06, 2013 12:37 PM (ndlFj)

38 Wha? Huh? I don't... WHAT? Why on earth would someone think that tweet (dick cleavage, seriously ace?) was anything other than a joke? And why, even if you didn't see that it was a joke, would you bother to correct someone if you thought they really thought that?

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at June 06, 2013 12:37 PM (/PCJa)

39 And without capitalism, there is no greed. And without Israel, there is no war. Without religion, there is also no war. Finally, without oil and coal, there is no climate change. Posted by: soothsayer, malicious communicator at June 06, 2013 04:35 PM (052zE) Without beer there is no uh, beer.

Posted by: Blue Vein Trouser Trout at June 06, 2013 12:37 PM (mETGQ)

40 "@AceofSpadesHQ But nuts lack visible nipples." Maybe Ace's balls have nipples. In which case he should probably visit his gynecologist.

Posted by: nerdygirl at June 06, 2013 12:37 PM (Kln64)

41 Ace honey, you need to check out Trey Gowdy laying the boom down on the IRS. He actually says, "You can't fix it, only replace it". Holy shit that guy is awesome.

Posted by: madamemayhem at June 06, 2013 12:37 PM (S2RnE)

42 Look how long my neck is!

Posted by: Anthony Weiner at June 06, 2013 12:38 PM (Hx2XA)

43 The clitoris is the wiener of the puss.

Posted by: Gristle Encased Head at June 06, 2013 12:38 PM (+lsX1)

44 What the hell...Ace make up your mind!

Posted by: Dr. DangerGirl Ph.F.D., B! @deadlyestrogen at June 06, 2013 12:38 PM (GrtrJ)

45 I'm glad to see being in the Congressional Record has really classed up the joint. Also all of that is utterly hilarious.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Mmmm. Blondies with whipped cream. at June 06, 2013 12:38 PM (VtjlW)

46 This is the perfect front page post for anyone who decides to follow the Congressman's reference to that AoS blogger to see what other interesting things he may have to say.

Posted by: ConservativeMonster at June 06, 2013 12:38 PM (v3pYe)

47 Hot damn! It's about that time of year again for the annual Testicle Festival!

Posted by: Fritz at June 06, 2013 12:38 PM (UzPAd)

48 Conversely, would that make MeggyMac's most prominent feature her "Sweater Gunt"?

Posted by: Jaws at June 06, 2013 12:38 PM (4I3Uo)

49 Testicles...just another name for "lap pillows."

Posted by: Dr. DangerGirl Ph.F.D., B! @deadlyestrogen at June 06, 2013 12:38 PM (GrtrJ)

50
Heh, "jock knockers".

Posted by: dan-O at June 06, 2013 12:38 PM (D0bIN)

51 In a male, sexual literacy is determined by your skill in reading the tramp stamp.

Posted by: Cicero, DOCTOR of Jurisprudence and Shit at June 06, 2013 12:38 PM (8ZskC)

52 So if my balls are tits, what does that make my no-no-hole?

Posted by: Dang at June 06, 2013 12:39 PM (Hx2XA)

53 Zero has not recognized D-Day since 2009. ChristyB takes the Fifth on the subject.

The youtube of the Rep Gowdy take down of IRS is here:

http://tinyurl.com/kea89r8

Posted by: ChristyBlinky, radicalized Redneck Queen at June 06, 2013 12:39 PM (baL2B)

54 In a male, sexual literacy is determined by your skill in reading the tramp stamp. Wait, guys have tramp stamps? Why does no one tell me these things?

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at June 06, 2013 12:40 PM (/PCJa)

"Without beer there is no uh, beer."

Incorrect. Without beer there is no legitimate rape.

Posted by: Jaws at June 06, 2013 12:40 PM (4I3Uo)

56 Somebody threw in a "you want to try to milk me, Focker" when this was going on. I. Was. Dying.

Posted by: Andy at June 06, 2013 12:40 PM (Rmvyg)

57 The foreskin is the sleeve of evil!

Posted by: Militant Lesbian Heckler #2 at June 06, 2013 12:40 PM (jvd3N)

58 Trying to figure out what "croch-tits" is code for.

Posted by: NSA at June 06, 2013 12:40 PM (mETGQ)

59 I try not to reference AOSHQ when I steal all the good jokes to pass off as my own. Plus, I don't want the people I work with to actually KNOW I'm more twisted than I appear (no small feat). But this was just too good - I actually sent links to a few people so they could see what I was laughing out loud about. Thank goodness the boss is on vacation.

Posted by: Vizzini [/i] at June 06, 2013 12:40 PM (O7Q1u)

60 Ace!!!eleventy! As seen, er heard, on the House Floor!!111!!eleventyagain

Posted by: dfbaskwill at June 06, 2013 12:40 PM (ndlFj)

61 I had written that because I saw a lefty claiming that in a "GOP-Free America," death would no longer exist. Also wait what? I mean, what the actual fuck. Soooooo the GOP causes death? *taps chin* I may have to reup as a Republican then.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Mmmm. Blondies with whipped cream. at June 06, 2013 12:40 PM (VtjlW)

62 Is this because Obama's testicles are kept in Eric Holder's mouth for safe keeping?

Posted by: dogfish at June 06, 2013 12:41 PM (nsOJa)

63 The $64 dollar question: Will Jeff Sessions quote any of this in the well of the Senate? If he does then I will personally give him every last red cent I have!

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at June 06, 2013 12:41 PM (+98Gb)

64 Trying to figure out what "croch-tits" is code for. The nutcracker is on the table. The nutcracker is on the table.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at June 06, 2013 12:41 PM (/PCJa)

65 The scrotum is the dewlap of the crotch. Wang wattle.

Posted by: Fritz at June 06, 2013 12:41 PM (UzPAd)

66 "I glue raisins to them."

Jeebus.

Posted by: Dr. Jane D'oh at June 06, 2013 12:41 PM (lVPtV)

67 Wait. I'm all confused.

Posted by: Chaz Boner at June 06, 2013 12:41 PM (8ZskC)

I haven't laughed this hard in weeks. This is good stuff ace.

Posted by: Heralder at June 06, 2013 12:41 PM (+xmn4)

69 ... and cleavage? I, like the Classical Greek and Roman statues, have no cleavage, and don't want it ... it "thinks" wrong, so no need to check. I'll be alone on this, if necessary ...

Posted by: Arbalest at June 06, 2013 12:41 PM (FlRtG)

70 A plugin in the sidebar showing recent twitter activity would be good.

You assume this blog runs software with functional features. You assume wrong.

Posted by: Ian S. at June 06, 2013 12:41 PM (B/VB5)

71 AWARD. WINNING. BLOG.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at June 06, 2013 12:41 PM (+98Gb)

72 "This kind of nonsense gets my crotch titties in a twist every damn time!"

-Rep. Louie Gohmert (R-TX)

Posted by: Gristle Encased Head at June 06, 2013 12:42 PM (+lsX1)

73 And why, even if you didn't see that it was a joke, would you bother to correct someone if you thought they really thought that? Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at June 06, 2013 04:37 PM (/PCJa) Because someone was being wrong on the internet and that cannot stand.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Mmmm. Blondies with whipped cream. at June 06, 2013 12:42 PM (VtjlW)

74 By the by, do you use hot melt glue to attach the raisins? And just for the record, the pubic hair goose bumps can be considered nut-nipples.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at June 06, 2013 12:42 PM (+98Gb)

75 I don't get the Internet and I don't find it the least bit funny.

Posted by: Guido at June 06, 2013 12:42 PM (4XNbW)

76
correction: Without religion, there is no hate.

Posted by: soothsayer, malicious communicator at June 06, 2013 12:42 PM (1WM2H)

77 A plugin in the sidebar showing recent twitter activity would be good. Fall down and worship in awe at the mighty awesomeness of Minx 0.7 Alpha!

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at June 06, 2013 12:43 PM (/PCJa)

78 The account blocked me, too. Humorless biotch.

Posted by: Brunette_W at June 06, 2013 12:43 PM (w/r78)

79 Father's Milk? Baby gravy.

Posted by: rickb223 at June 06, 2013 12:43 PM (CRyse)

80 >> A plugin in the sidebar showing recent twitter activity would be good. Yeah, sorry. I've tried Twitter's javascript widget but it won't run over there because #TwoWeeks.

Posted by: Andy at June 06, 2013 12:43 PM (Rmvyg)

81 Hm, and I was just thinking about going in for a balljob. The enhancement surgery, not the sex act, you pervs.

Posted by: Hal at June 06, 2013 12:43 PM (MftY/)

"Will Jeff Sessions quote any of this in the well of the Senate? "

I would love to hear him stretch out "Crawutch Teeuts" in that Alabama twang.

Posted by: Jaws at June 06, 2013 12:44 PM (4I3Uo)

83 That's the first I heard the phrase "moose knuckle",hurrah for the indispensable Urban Dictionary.

Posted by: its raining at June 06, 2013 12:44 PM (4uuov)

84 I see Ace is a big nipple guy. I'm mean think of the size ratio going on there.

Posted by: dogfish at June 06, 2013 12:44 PM (nsOJa)

85 Balljob? Does that include raisins?

Posted by: Guido at June 06, 2013 12:44 PM (4XNbW)

86 The dong is the crotch torpedo.

Posted by: Harry Sack at June 06, 2013 12:45 PM (mETGQ)

87 "The earhole is kind of like the anus of the side of the head."

-Rep. Louie Gohmert (R-TX)

Posted by: Gristle Encased Head at June 06, 2013 12:45 PM (+lsX1)

88 Laughed my ass off.Shook my jock-knockers.

Posted by: steevy at June 06, 2013 12:45 PM (9XBK2)

89 Anthony wee ner is going all over the city to small democratic clubs, speaking with the other dem contenders and attempting to get the club's endorsement.

Does no one remember his twitterings?

Posted by: caustic at June 06, 2013 12:45 PM (/b8+5)

90 The urethra is the eye of the pants salami

Posted by: Guido at June 06, 2013 12:47 PM (4XNbW)

91 "My good friend Rep. Waxman has a face that looks like a pig's vagina and you can quote me on that."

-Rep. Louie Gohmert (R-TX)

Posted by: Gristle Encased Head at June 06, 2013 12:48 PM (+lsX1)

92 The testicles are the National Geographic African Tribe-type breasts of the groin though. Not the stripper bolt-on type of titties. Now that would be weird.

Posted by: Dr. DangerGirl Ph.F.D., B! @deadlyestrogen at June 06, 2013 12:48 PM (GrtrJ)

93 The crotch is the junk yard.

Posted by: Harry Sack at June 06, 2013 12:48 PM (mETGQ)

For those interested Montana has a "Testicle Festival" every year. It's also called "Testy Fest".

It is held in, I am not making this up, Clinton, Montana.

Posted by: ExSnipe at June 06, 2013 12:48 PM (PBm/l)

95 Drudge has: "Weiner erupts after crowd comfronts sexting"

Posted by: rickb223 at June 06, 2013 12:49 PM (CRyse)

"The earhole is kind of like the anus of the side of the head."

-Rep. Louie Gohmert (R-TX)

Unless you're Jim McDermott. His mouth and anus are identical.

Posted by: Jaws at June 06, 2013 12:49 PM (4I3Uo)

97 92The testicles are the National Geographic African Tribe-type breasts of the groin though. Not the stripper bolt-on type of titties. Now that would be weird.

Posted by: Dr. DangerGirl Ph.F.D., B! @deadlyestrogen at June 06, 2013 04:48 PM (GrtrJ)

Depends entriely on current temperature.

Posted by: Heralder at June 06, 2013 12:50 PM (+xmn4)

98 Well this thread is about to go silent as it was appeared, disappeared, appeared, disappeared, appeared and stomped.

Oh well, was fun while it lasted.

Posted by: Dr. DangerGirl Ph.F.D., B! @deadlyestrogen at June 06, 2013 12:50 PM (GrtrJ)

99 Proof? I offer http://bit.ly/14jM9Ho silicone or saline testicular implants. Silicone and saline testicle implants are available. The silicone implants are safe and feel very natural but are slightly firmer than a normal testicle. The saline implants are supposedly softer but are more expensive.

Posted by: StrategicCorporalUSMC at June 06, 2013 12:51 PM (6J+oK)

100 Drunk Governor: Massachusetts Governor Deval Patrick admits getting drunk after Boston Marathon bombings

http://tinyurl.com/ku8okce

Wonder what his tweets were like that night?

Posted by: caustic at June 06, 2013 12:52 PM (/b8+5)

101 Silicone and saline testicle implants are available. The silicone implants are safe and feel very natural but are slightly firmer than a normal testicle. The saline implants are supposedly softer but are more expensive.

Posted by: StrategicCorporalUSMC at June 06, 2013 04:51 PM (6J+oK)

Screw that silicone nonsense, do they come in brass?

Posted by: Heralder at June 06, 2013 12:52 PM (+xmn4)

102

And Anthony Weiner was the penis of the Congress.

Posted by: SCOAMF Returns at June 06, 2013 12:52 PM (QcCyH)

103 I freaking lost it at mons pumpkins as cultural faultline.

THANK YOU ACE AND TWITTER JUST FOR BEING YOU (RESPECTIVELY).

Posted by: P.M. at June 06, 2013 12:53 PM (bPsSR)

104 On a cold rainy day here in the upper Midwest, trouser jugs gave me a BAS (Big Ass Smile) Funny Ace. Funny. Thank you

Posted by: Misanthropic humanitarian at June 06, 2013 12:54 PM (HVff2)

105 And why, even if you didn't see that it was a joke, would you bother to correct someone if you thought they really thought that?

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at June 06, 2013 04:37 PM (/PCJa)

Exactly. If someone were truly that clueless the only real response is to roll the eyes, shake the head and move on.

Posted by: Polliwog the 'Ette, assault Hobbit at June 06, 2013 12:54 PM (lVb7s)

106 It' pretty tough to squeak a goal past a Professor Science in the ice rink of humor, Ace, yet you did. Kudos. Wait. WhatamIsaying? It's a Professor Science? They suck at hockey.

Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at June 06, 2013 12:55 PM (eHIJJ)

107 I for one, Sir, will continue to defend the testicle-breast analogy to the grave. And as the esteemed Aristotelian professor of Astronomy once told Galileo he had no need to look into his telescope, I likewise inform you that I have no need to unbutton my fly to determine the nature of the regional appendages. My theory is sound, Sound, I say!

Posted by: JeremiadBullfrog at June 06, 2013 12:55 PM (Y5I9o)

108 Not the stripper bolt-on type of titties. Now that would be weird.

Yeah- would make the peen look like a Jimmy Duranty nose.

Posted by: typo dynamofo at June 06, 2013 12:56 PM (WVMUQ)

109 The Vagina is cradle of Humanity!

**

And I like It!

**

So F**k You!!!

Posted by: Militant Lesbian Heckler #2 at June 06, 2013 12:56 PM (jvd3N)

110 Posted by: Polliwog the 'Ette, assault Hobbit at June 06, 2013 04:54 PM (lVb7s)

Hey Polli,

OT, but finished installing DDO and rolled up a wee paladin on Khyber named after my Panderian priest. How does guilding/friending work in that game?

Posted by: ConservativeMonster at June 06, 2013 12:56 PM (sGtp+)

111

O/T: Thanks, Ace, for getting Pixy to un-ban my work IP!

Now, of course, I have to explain to the boss why I'm laughing so hard that tears are streaming down my face.

#firstworldproblems

Posted by: speedster1 at June 06, 2013 12:58 PM (v40Bj)

112

Posted by: ConservativeMonster at June 06, 2013 04:56 PM (sGtp+)

If you give me (his?) name I can mail you a guild invite. I can create a new toon to show you around if you like.

Posted by: Polliwog the 'Ette, assault Hobbit at June 06, 2013 01:01 PM (lVb7s)

113 Why the hell is it so impossible to have a serious conversation about jorts jugs?

Posted by: Lallie at June 06, 2013 01:01 PM (qs+ut)

114

Ok, now I don't understand. Ace posts an hilarious post about the nitwits he encounters on Twitter, and within 10 minutes he gets stomped... AND EVERYONE FLOCKS TO THAT THREAD???

Is this now JohnEofSpadesHQ?

Posted by: BurtTC at June 06, 2013 01:07 PM (TOk1P)

115 Posted by: Polliwog the 'Ette, assault Hobbit at June 06, 2013 05:01 PM (lVb7s)

Heh. Her name's Fionette.

Posted by: ConservativeMonster at June 06, 2013 01:07 PM (oY6Yp)

116 I lie awake many a night pondering whether, if we had tails, we would wear them inside, or outside, our trousers.

Posted by: toby928 at June 06, 2013 01:12 PM (evdj2)

117 PSA: Since this is a thread about sex, the Hillbuzz guy is hosting a month long seminar where readers can ask questions about being gay. Sort of "Everything you ever wanted to know about being gay but were afraid to ask"
It's very interesting and eye opening and informative.
http://hillbuzz.org/

Posted by: caustic at June 06, 2013 01:13 PM (/b8+5)

118

Posted by: ConservativeMonster at June 06, 2013 05:07 PM (oY6Yp)

Glad you told me since I was only finding Conette.

Sent you an invite, but big question is "are you 'sunny side'?" Please forgive the upcoming explanation if you're familiar with the term.

If you are starting at level 1 on Korthos you are "snowy side" and there's no mail-box and no way to interact with those who are "sunny side". No matter what level you are you can take a ship (speak to person on dock) and go to the city (which automatically makes you "sunny side") that has a mailbox with the invite.

I am perfectly happy to create a new toon if you want company or a guide.

Like I said, I can create new toon

Posted by: Polliwog the 'Ette, assault Hobbit at June 06, 2013 01:20 PM (lVb7s)

119 wow, that made my day. Ace was channeling 10-guy.

Posted by: joeindc44 didn't analyze nuthin, just offered his own anecdotal evidence at June 06, 2013 01:21 PM (QxSug)

120 Whoops, ended up losing a line and repeating it.

Posted by: Polliwog the 'Ette, assault Hobbit at June 06, 2013 01:22 PM (lVb7s)

121 So, the scrotal inflation crew is really advocating for breast enlargement? Interesting!

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars[/b][/i][/s] at June 06, 2013 01:26 PM (8V4jN)

122 "Sexual illiteracy."

As if cultures with no written language don't make babies.

Posted by: HeatherRadish™ needs a beer at June 06, 2013 01:30 PM (ZKzrr)

123 Who care? Boobs are just the ass cheeks of the torso anyway.

Posted by: Vermin at June 06, 2013 01:32 PM (YxgZq)

124

[@willbs999 Doesn't sound like a joke... Try enhancing your wardrobe to expose your "cleavage" then.]

Sounds like somebody might be jealous of your fly appeal Ace?

Posted by: Bud Hurdt at June 06, 2013 01:33 PM (9u2hL)

125 Glad you told me since I was only finding Conette.

Ha!

/facepalm

I forgot my character's name....

Posted by: ConservativeMonster at June 06, 2013 01:34 PM (oY6Yp)

126 Can we call them Trouser Puppies?

Posted by: RightWingProf at June 06, 2013 01:35 PM (E/o+q)

127

Posted by: ConservativeMonster at June 06, 2013 05:34 PM (oY6Yp)

Is Fionette correct for DDO? Didn't get an imediate "no such person" message.

Posted by: Polliwog the 'Ette, assault Hobbit at June 06, 2013 01:40 PM (lVb7s)

128 Posted by: Polliwog the 'Ette, assault Hobbit at June 06, 2013 05:40 PM (lVb7s)

Yes, it's correct. I had forgotten my WoW character's name. Doh!

(In my defense, didn't play that one for very long)

Posted by: ConservativeMonster at June 06, 2013 01:44 PM (v3pYe)

129

Posted by: ConservativeMonster at June 06, 2013 05:44 PM (v3pYe)

Okay, good. Invite is waiting for you Sunny Side then.

Posted by: Polliwog the 'Ette, assault Hobbit at June 06, 2013 01:46 PM (lVb7s)

130 I know I am late to the party, but this post is yet another reason to read AoS. Rampant unfettered insanity, and it's free!

Posted by: Hrothgar at June 06, 2013 01:52 PM (Cnqmv)

131 53 So if my balls are tits, what does that make my no-no-hole?

A vagina surrogate. Yum!

Posted by: Barney Fwank at June 06, 2013 01:57 PM (aezR7)

132 It's posts like these that make AOSHQ the Official Blog of Congress.

Posted by: Michael the Hobbit, but you can call me Michael at June 06, 2013 02:05 PM (vVMIQ)

133 Ok, knock off that unseemly frivolity and mirth. Trouser jugs are serious, you guys.