Ace of Spades HQ

October 01, 2013

An Infomercial That Raises More Questions Than Answers.
— CAC

A slight change of pace.

TV personality/author/convicted felon Martha Stewart inspects the Phototron

Infomercials fascinate me. Gone are the days of Billy Mays, but in his absence we've seen the rise of Vince from ShamWow and the two-minute commercial featuring some housewife usually dramatizing her plight with household cleaners or cooking utensils; or beaming a smile about a great new product she just has to share with you. I guess this odd ad fits in the latter category.
I don't understand who would need such a large fancy terrarium, but over 150,000 of these things have been sold, and I like the idea of "growing my own", though I'm a bit confused by them not specifying what exactly it is that I am growing. Judging from the size of the box and the promise to deliver "harvest after harvest", perhaps in-home sunflower growing is back in style? Or perhaps those monstrous tomatoes I see promised in other infomercials? They imply its great for dorms, but what college student is going to grow mint or basil in their own room? Martha Stewart looked awfully interested in the above still-shot. Perhaps she's going to do some indoor herb gardening?
The scientist she was conversing with implied the device was developed from research into space travel. I guess I could see the use flying high above the earth, but I guess I'm missing the point of the average Dick or Jane trying to grow their own food (and the stressed "21 day" cycle). Perhaps this is for those prepper types. When the Burning Times come, growing your own medicinal plants like aloe would help out in bartering.
The housewife sure looks happy that her grow box arrived discretely on her doorstep, but that raises yet another question: why is it shipped discretely? Is she in a "World's Biggest Beet" competition? Even more puzzling, who exactly spends upwards of a thousand dollars to grow cucumbers or basil in their living room?
So.
Many.
Questions.

Posted by: CAC at 12:20 PM | Comments (189)
Post contains 346 words, total size 2 kb.

1 I love the seen on TV store!!

Posted by: Navycopjoe at October 01, 2013 01:04 PM (j8JLb)

2 Oh, all the car items you see on tv don't work

Posted by: Navycopjoe at October 01, 2013 01:04 PM (j8JLb)

3 Martha can sell anything.

Posted by: Lizzy at October 01, 2013 01:05 PM (vvueH)

4 The George Foreman grill is the fucking BOSS!!

Posted by: Navycopjoe at October 01, 2013 01:05 PM (j8JLb)

5 and I like the idea of "growing my own", though I'm a bit confused by them not specifying what exactly it is that I am growing. Ganja, mon.

Posted by: rickb223 at October 01, 2013 01:05 PM (lwkv9)

6 This is a joke right? Right?

Posted by: Truck Monkey at October 01, 2013 01:05 PM (32Ze2)

7 Maybe it's for year-round growing, so growing herbs and veggies indoors during the winter...

Posted by: Lizzy at October 01, 2013 01:06 PM (vvueH)

8 The best infomercials are the hot chicks in yoga pants dancing in my tv early in the morning Oh yeah

Posted by: Navycopjoe at October 01, 2013 01:07 PM (j8JLb)

9 3. She couldn't sell a story to a federal jury

Posted by: Navycopjoe at October 01, 2013 01:08 PM (j8JLb)

10 I love the seen on TV store!! "You've seen it on TV, now see the Seen on TV store in your mall!"

Posted by: rickb223 at October 01, 2013 01:08 PM (lwkv9)

11 This is like the commercial for the Pelosi GTxi SS/RT Sport Edition from Congressional Motors

Posted by: Truck Monkey at October 01, 2013 01:08 PM (32Ze2)

12 CAC,

This is perfect for growing arugula.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at October 01, 2013 01:08 PM (/kU/5)

13 If the phototron can grow organic breasts like that in 21 days, this thing will sell like hotcakes.

Posted by: Fritz at October 01, 2013 01:08 PM (x2W/k)

14 The government shut down caused my A/C drain to clog and back up into my wall causing water damage forcing me to tear out the sheet rock. Spent 300.00 repairing it today. I can't afford too many more days of a shut down.

Posted by: polynikes at October 01, 2013 01:08 PM (m2CN7)

15 Does this box have self contained power generation for the grow lights? and does it have carbon dioxide injection?

Posted by: Korben Dallas at October 01, 2013 01:09 PM (+UGAB)

16 A nice Polish girl sells ANYTHING for the right price.

Posted by: John Smith at October 01, 2013 01:09 PM (wR+pz)

Weed, ganja, Mary Jane, The Chronic, pot, reefer....

Half way to a rap song there.

Posted by: Beagle at October 01, 2013 01:09 PM (sOtz/)

18 There's just one place to go for all your spatula needs!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2XbCWmY0eqY

Posted by: HeatherRadish™ needs a beer at October 01, 2013 01:09 PM (/kI1Q)

19 CAC, This is perfect for growing arugula. Remember to repeat that to the nice DEA agents...

Posted by: rickb223 at October 01, 2013 01:09 PM (lwkv9)

20 On a serious note, how much would that jack up your electric bill? My co-worker seems to think a small grower like that would have a much bigger impact then you would think. I love, um, fresh dill.

Posted by: Eton Cox at October 01, 2013 01:09 PM (q177U)

21 Seems a little small to grow my own bacon.

Posted by: t-bird at October 01, 2013 01:09 PM (FcR7P)

Why, whatever is CAC implying here?

Posted by: Ricardo Kill at October 01, 2013 01:10 PM (LA7Cm)

23 I think it has something to do with sex. Must be. Otherwise, no clue.

Posted by: Inspector Asshole at October 01, 2013 01:10 PM (/gG0i)

24 Not big enough for Devil Weed, so what good is it? Yeah, I smoked a little in my chopper-riding days decades ago- if you didn't you were a "pansy." Fer you young'un's out there it had no Ghey connotation at the time- it meant "You aren't a Real Man."

Posted by: backhoe at October 01, 2013 01:10 PM (ULH4o)

25 They have been selling Phototrons in High Times magazine for decades. It's old.

Posted by: Jimmie at October 01, 2013 01:11 PM (Vk3+v)

26 What?

Posted by: DaveA at October 01, 2013 01:11 PM (DL2i+)

27 Bet they will sell a lot of these in CO and WA. That first picture in the video sure looks likes pot to me. I mean, er, from the pictures I've seen of it.

Posted by: John Smith at October 01, 2013 01:11 PM (wR+pz)

28 I have to admit that the Flex Seal spray ( rubber sealant spray) works pretty damn well. Didn't get mine from the TV commercial but Walgreens has an AS SEEN ON TV section . I have a flat roof and it worked perfect to repair some wear on the seams and edges.

Posted by: polynikes at October 01, 2013 01:12 PM (m2CN7)

29 The government shutdown is forcing me to go to work today. Brb.

Posted by: Soona at October 01, 2013 01:12 PM (llpSw)

"When the Burning Times come, growing your own medicinal plants like aloe would help out in bartering"

Everyone knows Master Blaster runs Bartertown.

Posted by: Master Blaster at October 01, 2013 01:12 PM (W2qJe)

31 So I can get fresh tomatoes every 21 days?

Hell yeah, sign me up!!!

Posted by: HH at October 01, 2013 01:12 PM (XXwdv)

32 rickb223 @ 5 has it right. Um...not that I would have any knowledge of anything like that.

Real question is when they're going to make the "dark-and-dank-o-tron" for growing 'shrooms. You know, for salisbury steak.

Posted by: dudenolongerinsantacruz at October 01, 2013 01:12 PM (pTp+C)

33 Growing pot is the only way to reverse the calamitous rise of CO2!!

Posted by: The 6th IPCC Report at October 01, 2013 01:12 PM (FcR7P)

34 We use to grow beer in one of our dorm room closets.

Posted by: Mike Hammer at October 01, 2013 01:12 PM (aDwsi)

35 Between this and the electric still I'm looking into, I may never need modern medicine again!

Posted by: Lincolntf at October 01, 2013 01:12 PM (ZshNr)

36 I've always preferred indica over sativa.

Posted by: kreplach at October 01, 2013 01:12 PM (ZZPs4)

37 Is she in a "World's Biggest Beet" competition? Even more puzzling, who exactly spends upwards of a thousand dollars to grow cucumbers or basil in their living room?

Rubes.

Posted by: dogfish at October 01, 2013 01:13 PM (nsOJa)

38 I think it is used to grow pizza. They grow from pizza seeds, right?

Posted by: Typical LIV at October 01, 2013 01:13 PM (/gG0i)

39 Miniature hybrid pot gardens and "bathtub" stills will be the new producers in the nearing end times.

Soma then Soylent. It's inevitable. So invest now and hone your skills before it's too late.

Posted by: Paid Advertisment by AnonymousDrivel at October 01, 2013 01:13 PM (eHIJJ)

40 EarVac has the greatest commercial since the original LifeAlert.

Watching these morons jam q-tips in their ears and then yelping in pain never fails to make me laugh.

Posted by: Dead Democrats and Illegals at October 01, 2013 01:13 PM (YmPwQ)

41 To be fair (why? I don't know. Maybe for sport.) Martha was railroaded. She could certainly have won on appeal, but she took jail time because it was in the best interests of her company. That was really pretty ballsy.

Posted by: Frumious Bandersnatch at October 01, 2013 01:13 PM (A0sHn)

42 Didn't someone mention purchasing a still earlier today? Seems an "herb" grower and a still might not be a bad investment. Except for relying on electricity, cause that's going to become more expensive than healthcare once Obama finishes off the remaining coal plants.

Posted by: Lizzy at October 01, 2013 01:14 PM (vvueH)

43 Is it so wrong that all I could focus on was the tailoring of the saleswoman's shirt? Well, not the shirt exactly, but how it highlighted what filled it.

Posted by: pep at October 01, 2013 01:14 PM (6TB1Z)

44 Will it help me drain pasta? I still can't get that figured out.

Posted by: garrett at October 01, 2013 01:14 PM (aKFHl)

45 I heard they have spaghetti trees over in Italy.

Posted by: Typical LIV at October 01, 2013 01:14 PM (/gG0i)

46 36-I can not remember which one is bad for memory.

Posted by: nip at October 01, 2013 01:14 PM (jI23+)

47 34 We use to grow beer in one of our dorm room closets. Posted by: Mike Hammer at October 01, 2013 05:12 PM (aDwsi) I think they call that penicillin.

Posted by: John Smith at October 01, 2013 01:14 PM (wR+pz)

48 I wonder if it's suitable for growing mushrooms.

How many dried mushrooms are in.. hmm.. lets say an ounce.

Posted by: 13times at October 01, 2013 01:14 PM (fGPLK)

49 And....me.

Also, I now realize that we're not talking silly product short commercials. But I still like it.

Posted by: Damn Sockpuppet at October 01, 2013 01:15 PM (YmPwQ)

50 Bet they will sell a lot of these in CO and WA. That first picture in the video sure looks likes pot to me. I mean, er, from the pictures I've seen of it. Is it more cost effective to grow than to purchase? If this grow box costs a G, what amount do you have to grow to tilt into the benefit column?

Posted by: bonhomme at October 01, 2013 01:15 PM (yETln)

51 Our tree spaghetti is traditional, not ghey.

Posted by: Barilla at October 01, 2013 01:16 PM (YmPwQ)

52 All the fresh Basil you can handle!

Posted by: nip at October 01, 2013 01:16 PM (jI23+)

53 Heh. I have planted Morning Glories at the base of a guy wire that runs up to a mercury vapor street light. The plant rapidly and thickly climbed the wire all the way up to the lamp. Pretty cool. Then, they put up LED street lamps..., this year the plant has been OK, but only grew 'normally', i.e., not so much.

Posted by: Mike Hammer at October 01, 2013 01:16 PM (aDwsi)

54 I love that she mentions that it will be delivered "Discretely" Wonder why?

Posted by: John Smith at October 01, 2013 01:16 PM (wR+pz)

55 and Martha would grow some dank green if you set her to it.

Posted by: garrett at October 01, 2013 01:16 PM (aKFHl)

56 We have more pot dispensaries than Starbucks in Denver (not kidding). I can't imagine it's cheaper to purchase that thing and then grow it.

Posted by: Lizzy at October 01, 2013 01:16 PM (vvueH)

57 definitely for basil. ONLY basil.

Posted by: dillhole12 at October 01, 2013 01:17 PM (uURnG)

58 Martha's prison hooch was to die for.

Posted by: Lincolntf at October 01, 2013 01:17 PM (ZshNr)

59 Watching these morons jam q-tips in their ears and then yelping in pain never fails to make me laugh.

That one cracks me up too. The pocket hose make me giggle.

Posted by: no good deed at October 01, 2013 01:17 PM (k55Fc)

60 Hail SCOAMF!
http://is.gd/9OfCnT

And if you buy Obamacide insurance, none of these hospitals accept it.

Posted by: HeatherRadish™ needs a beer at October 01, 2013 01:17 PM (/kI1Q)

61 Marijuana!

Posted by: Chi-Town Jerry at October 01, 2013 01:18 PM (f9c2L)

62 Its for weed. These have been selling (for weed) since the 80's. 1000 watt light and 50 pounds of charcoal and a fan does a better job.

Posted by: UWP at October 01, 2013 01:18 PM (vj51i)

63 Is it so wrong that all I could focus on was the tailoring of the saleswoman's shirt? Well, not the shirt exactly, but how it highlighted what filled it. Posted by: pep -------------- They used the cheerleader methodology for fitting.

Posted by: Mike Hammer at October 01, 2013 01:18 PM (aDwsi)

64 If you buy the grower , as a bonus you will receive a years supply of funyuns absolutely free. Order now!

Posted by: polynikes at October 01, 2013 01:18 PM (m2CN7)

65 Is it more cost effective to grow than to purchase? If this grow box costs a G, what amount do you have to grow to tilt into the benefit column? Posted by: bonhomme at October 01, 2013 05:15 PM (yETln) Good point, and throw in "possession" vs "Manufacturer" prison time and I'd say buying is safer than growing.

Posted by: John Smith at October 01, 2013 01:18 PM (wR+pz)

66 Growing pot indoors--not needed in CO (except in winter)?

Posted by: @ParisParamus at October 01, 2013 01:18 PM (Cyhqx)

67 1000 watt light

Can you still buy those?

Posted by: HeatherRadish™ needs a beer at October 01, 2013 01:18 PM (/kI1Q)

68 Heh heh heh...

Posted by: [/i][/b][/s]akula51 at October 01, 2013 01:19 PM (4p5/2)

69 28. I was thinking about using flex seal on my wife's mouth before football games Would make the game so much enjoyable

Posted by: Navycopjoe at October 01, 2013 01:19 PM (/y16L)

70 Didn't someone mention purchasing a still earlier today? Seems an "herb" grower and a still might not be a bad investment. Except for relying on electricity, cause that's going to become more expensive than healthcare once Obama finishes off the remaining coal plants. I'm not a drinker, but I've thought about building a still just so I can make fresh water if the treatment plants ever shut down for a few weeks.

Posted by: bonhomme at October 01, 2013 01:19 PM (yETln)

71 Glen Beck is absolutely hilarious today. If he's not a moron I'd be shocked.
http://tinyurl.com/3w9nvlr

Posted by: knowledge is power at October 01, 2013 01:19 PM (Nx76m)

72 71 28. I was thinking about using flex seal on my wife's mouth before football games Would make the game so much enjoyable Posted by: Navycopjoe at October 01, 2013 05:19 PM (/y16L) Won't that give her a "black face"?

Posted by: John Smith at October 01, 2013 01:20 PM (wR+pz)

73 There is a remarkable absence of empty Cheetos bags in that home.

Posted by: Waterhouse at October 01, 2013 01:20 PM (YVx8A)

Can you still buy those?

Buy!?

...silly girl. You don't buy what you can steal.

Posted by: Growers Everywhere at October 01, 2013 01:20 PM (aKFHl)

75 Not confused, here. But, now I've got the munchies.

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at October 01, 2013 01:20 PM (IXrOn)

76 1000 watt light Can you still buy those? Posted by: HeatherRadishÂ™ needs a beer at October 01, 2013 05:18 PM (/kI1Q) --- Easily. But an unmarked police car might follow you home.

Posted by: UWP at October 01, 2013 01:21 PM (vj51i)

The word of the day is "joint." Brought to you by Martha Stewart, the number 4:20, and viewers like you.

Posted by: Jollyroger at October 01, 2013 01:21 PM (t06LC)

78 These Phototrons have been around for a while. I remember seeing their adverts (same brand, same guy but much younger) in National Lampoon Magazine in the late 80's early 90's.

Posted by: Links at October 01, 2013 01:21 PM (RgIRJ)

79 Don't bogart that photoron, man.

Posted by: While we're letting it burn. at October 01, 2013 01:21 PM (IXrOn)

80 I was thinking about using flex seal on my wife's mouth before football games Would make the game so much enjoyable Posted by: Navycopjoe ----------------- *Hammer strokes chin* *shifty eyes* *ponders attempting blackmail* *considers Navy's background..., prudently abandons idea*

Posted by: Mike Hammer at October 01, 2013 01:22 PM (aDwsi)

81 Is it more cost effective to grow than to purchase? If this grow box costs a G, what amount do you have to grow to tilt into the benefit column? It's like raising & slaughtering beef cattle. What's it worth to you to know exactly what is & isn't in it?

Posted by: rickb223 at October 01, 2013 01:22 PM (lwkv9)

82 though I'm a bit confused by them not specifying what exactly it is that I am growing. Perfect for: Condos, Apts, DORMS DUHHHHH

Posted by: cajun caret at October 01, 2013 01:22 PM (UZQM8)

83 you put your weed in it!

Posted by: bob in houston at October 01, 2013 01:22 PM (fJoZd)

84 LMAO! FLOTUS ✔ @FLOTUS Due to CongressÂ’s failure to pass legislation to fund the government, updates to this account will be limited. #Shutdown

Posted by: tasker at October 01, 2013 01:22 PM (r2PLg)

"A specialist is waiting for your call."

"Hello, DEA Officer Smith. Hmm, hmm, yes. Where are you located?"

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit at October 01, 2013 01:22 PM (0HooB)

86 Better send a lot of snacks into space with the Phototron. I predict attacks of the munchies. Might want to have a good autopilot system too.

Posted by: T. at October 01, 2013 01:22 PM (vDd63)

87 "They grow from pizza seeds, right?"

Actually, you are wrong. But I'm never, ever getting into how they are 'Delivered'.

There are just some things Man is not to know...

Posted by: HH at October 01, 2013 01:22 PM (XXwdv)

88 BONUS!

Posted by: tasker at October 01, 2013 01:22 PM (r2PLg)

89 78 1000 watt light

Can you still buy those?
Posted by: HeatherRadishÂ™ needs a beer at October 01, 2013 05:18 PM (/kI1Q)
---
Easily. But an unmarked police car might follow you home.

Posted by: UWP at October 01, 2013 05:21 PM (vj51i)

Just a quick visit to the local hydroponics store will hook you up

Posted by: The Barrel at October 01, 2013 01:23 PM (FIDMq)

90 I love that she mentions that it will be delivered "Discretely"

Well, unless this thing is delivered in pieces, I'm gonna guess they mean discreetly. Yeah, I went there.

Posted by: pep at October 01, 2013 01:23 PM (6TB1Z)

91 On their website (www.phototron.com) they point out that they've been "Advertised in High Times for Over 20 Years." They also advertise "medicinal herbs" in the ad above. They aren't exactly hiding what the primary use is for a small hydroponic grow chamber is good for.

Considering, that growing medical marijuana in legal in 15 states, this isn't that big of a deal.

Heck, you couldn't even brew your own beer in Alabama and Mississippi until this year. And you can't distill your own liquor without a federal license, essentially, anywhere.

Posted by: seattle slough at October 01, 2013 01:23 PM (mCz8+)

92 I'm not a drinker, but I've thought about building a still just so I can make fresh water if the treatment plants ever shut down for a few weeks. Fresh water is easy. Steam condensated & walla! Fresh water.

Posted by: rickb223 at October 01, 2013 01:23 PM (lwkv9)

93 Wolf Blitzer is really pouring it on; claims the effect of the shutdown is already being felt in the economy.

Posted by: cirque de soothsayer at October 01, 2013 01:24 PM (M38nA)

94 Oops--don't want anyone to get the wrong idea-- was adding "BONUS" to the fact that Michelle Obama's tweeter says it can't tweet as much because- #Shutdown

Posted by: tasker at October 01, 2013 01:24 PM (r2PLg)

95 Glen Beck is absolutely hilarious today. If he's not a moron I'd be shocked. http://tinyurl.com/3w9nvlr Posted by: knowledge is power at October 01, 2013 05:19 PM (Nx76m) what are you pointing at, exactly, at that link

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at October 01, 2013 01:24 PM (IXrOn)

96 Ha, jollyroger. I read that in Frank Tavares' voice. Capital Cities has a song out that he talks through. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QjcOx4yYvEk

Posted by: no good deed at October 01, 2013 01:24 PM (k55Fc)

97 This was actually a place where CFL bulbs have come very much in handy. The whole "indoor growing" market and all.

Posted by: [/i][/b][/s]akula51 at October 01, 2013 01:24 PM (4p5/2)

98 Wolf Blitzer is really pouring it on; claims the effect of the shutdown is already being felt in the economy. Posted by: cirque ------- So , things are getting better right away?

Posted by: Mike Hammer at October 01, 2013 01:24 PM (aDwsi)

99 Yes. Too many "house wives" on TV is definitely what's wrong with America. What's with people's obsession with using all sorts of imbecilic neologisms obviously pumped into the meme pool by Leftists for the purpose of Progressing society?

Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at October 01, 2013 01:24 PM (bc6Q/)

100 Oh, and I don't care what you think, Martha Stewart still brings it.

In a clean, well-organized way, of course.

Posted by: pep at October 01, 2013 01:25 PM (6TB1Z)

101
but over 150,000 of these things have been sold

149,000 to CO residents.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at October 01, 2013 01:25 PM (sj9LN)

102 CAC went to a little effort for an extra joke. Note the posting time. Well played, sir. Well Played.

Posted by: Comrade Arthur at October 01, 2013 01:25 PM (83xuc)

103 Are they still selling the Phototron? They used to advertise it in magazines like OMNI back in the 80s.

I actually bought a used one out of the classifieds nearly 20 years ago. Sold it a year later, having tried it out but given up. Nice concept, but the moderate-wattage fluorescent tubes in it just don't compare to even a 250-watt sodium light in a closet setup. The plant most people want to use that thing for needs a lot of light to produce enough yield to be worth it.

Posted by: Alex at October 01, 2013 01:25 PM (/yzYn)

104 I think I saw ads for these in High Times back in the day... I wonder why? I'm going to get one and grow corn in my living room!

Posted by: Chris M at October 01, 2013 01:25 PM (k3w9p)

105 Yeah and the effects of the next hurricane are already being felt; minorities hardest hit.

Posted by: cirque de soothsayer at October 01, 2013 01:26 PM (M38nA)

106 Martha Stewart's biggest crime, of course, was not telling women to be stupid, bitchy cunts. Truly a crime against Progress. And profoundly blasphemous!

Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at October 01, 2013 01:26 PM (bc6Q/)

107 Hey seattle slow, how's the shutdown going for you? Has your partner gone feral yet?

Posted by: bonhomme at October 01, 2013 01:26 PM (yETln)

108 but over 150,000 of these things have been sold 149,000 to CO residents. Posted by: Guy Mohawk at October 01, 2013 05:25 PM (sj9LN) Specifically, University of Colorado, Boulder.

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at October 01, 2013 01:26 PM (IXrOn)

109 That one cracks me up too. The pocket hose make me giggle.

Posted by: no good deed at October 01, 2013 05:17 PM (k55Fc)

-------------------------------------------------

Watching that pocket hose unfurl always reminds me of that worm exiting the dead tarantula in that video Ace posted once.

Posted by: Soona at October 01, 2013 01:26 PM (llpSw)

110 I think there is going to be a lot of hate and discontent on phototron-equipped Mars Mission One when they find out what "get stones on planet surface" means. Consonent issues.

Posted by: T. at October 01, 2013 01:27 PM (vDd63)

111 I'm sure it's got to be more effective at generating growth than Obama's stimulus package

Posted by: phreshone at October 01, 2013 01:27 PM (Pr6hk)

112 Posted by: tasker at October 01, 2013 05:22 PM (r2PLg) <<<<<

And a Win for the Shutdown. Take that Gabe.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at October 01, 2013 01:27 PM (sj9LN)

113 And of course, it's a good thing that the Government went after her. After all, she was definitely the only sort-of-famous person up to no good. So, Progress and Social Justice!

Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at October 01, 2013 01:27 PM (bc6Q/)

114 Can this thing grow choom choom?

Posted by: Boss Moss former editor of the Harvard Law Review at October 01, 2013 01:27 PM (KRpfP)

115 Fresh water is easy. Steam condensated & walla! Fresh water. Right, was thinking about "distilled" water. Not a pot still, but like a condensation tower still.

Posted by: bonhomme at October 01, 2013 01:27 PM (yETln)

116 CAC went to a little effort for an extra joke. Note the posting time. Well played, sir. Well Played. Doh! 4:20 Golf Clap.

Posted by: rickb223 at October 01, 2013 01:28 PM (lwkv9)

117 Fresh water is easy. Steam condensated & walla! Fresh water.

Posted by: rickb223 at October 01, 2013 05:23 PM (lwkv9)

That's distilled water and not very good for you to drink solely over any significant length of time.

Posted by: polynikes at October 01, 2013 01:28 PM (m2CN7)

118 I suppose this post was created to drain some of the vitriol from the last post. People might have started suggesting things which could have gone off the civility map.

Posted by: Diogenes' Lamp at October 01, 2013 01:28 PM (bb5+k)

119 Thanks, Soona. I had blocked that memory out. That was repulsive.

Posted by: no good deed at October 01, 2013 01:29 PM (k55Fc)

120 She has a nice rack.

Posted by: RoyalOil at October 01, 2013 01:29 PM (VjL9S)

121 Watching that pocket hose unfurl So not going there...

Posted by: rickb223 at October 01, 2013 01:29 PM (lwkv9)

122

Now all they need is something to grow lighter fluid or matches.

Posted by: dudenolongerinsantacruz at October 01, 2013 01:29 PM (pTp+C)

123 Anyone having iMessage issues? I'm ready to throw my iPhone at the iWall.

Posted by: NCKate at October 01, 2013 01:29 PM (Rs+1o)

124 OMG we need an Emergency Spending Bill!! Congress isn't spending money; it's an EMERGENCY!!

Posted by: cirque de soothsayer at October 01, 2013 01:29 PM (M38nA)

125 Well played, sir. Well Played. Doh! 4:20 Golf Clap. Posted by: rickb223 at October 01, 2013 05:28 PM (lwkv9) Nice catch! lol

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at October 01, 2013 01:30 PM (IXrOn)

126 BC-Army game "threatened" by shut down. Fuck the fuck off.

Posted by: Lincolntf at October 01, 2013 01:30 PM (ZshNr)

127

NON-ADDICTIVE MARIJUANA

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fvn0PnjL_z8

Posted by: SUPERSUCKERS at October 01, 2013 01:30 PM (aKFHl)

128 "122 I suppose this post was created to drain some of the vitriol from the last post. People might have started suggesting things which could have gone off the civility map. Posted by: Diogenes' Lamp at October 01, 2013 05:28 PM (bb5+k) " If ogling Uranus were a felony, CAC, too, would be a convicted felon.

Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at October 01, 2013 01:30 PM (bc6Q/)

129 Someone finally cleaned up that site meter bullshit.

Posted by: Boss Moss former editor of the Harvard Law Review at October 01, 2013 01:30 PM (KRpfP)

130 I think it's risible that Stewart got questioned for the same thing that makes Congressmen so much money. Ever wonder how those schmucks get 30%+ on their portfolios? It's because they know who's getting the contracts. Of course they got her on a lie, Congress does that one too.

Posted by: bonhomme at October 01, 2013 01:31 PM (yETln)

131 I want a self-contained photoporn... wait...what?

nevermind.

DAMMIT!

/Breaks boba fett SW figure

Posted by: tangonine at October 01, 2013 01:31 PM (x3YFz)

132 OT: I thought about reading the Trent Lott thread, but that guy just makes me so angry, I decided to enjoy my evening instead.

Posted by: pep at October 01, 2013 01:31 PM (6TB1Z)

133 "129 OMG we need an Emergency Spending Bill!! Congress isn't spending money; it's an EMERGENCY!! Posted by: cirque de soothsayer at October 01, 2013 05:29 PM (M38nA) " The (Gay) children hardest hit.

Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at October 01, 2013 01:31 PM (bc6Q/)

134 Boba Fett? Where?

Posted by: Han Solo at October 01, 2013 01:32 PM (KRpfP)

135 I suspect this would be used to grow Marijuana or 'Mary Jane' or 'Grass' that the young people like Miley Cyrus talk about so much. Some people have no respect for Federal laws.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards at October 01, 2013 01:32 PM (3Znbm)

136 That's distilled water and not very good for you to drink solely over any significant length of time. What? What happens to you if you drink distilled water? Is it the lack of minerals?

Posted by: bonhomme at October 01, 2013 01:32 PM (yETln)

137 My son was doing his homework online, and the website he had to use was down because of the "shutdown". We laughed.

Posted by: NCKate at October 01, 2013 01:32 PM (Rs+1o)

138 Now all they need is something to grow lighter fluid or matches. Grow flints. Zippos can run on almost any flammable liguid. Flints be harder to come by.

Posted by: rickb223 at October 01, 2013 01:33 PM (lwkv9)

139 Anyone got an Orgasmatron for sale? Prefer one with an 8 -track.

Posted by: Martha Stewart at October 01, 2013 01:33 PM (/1ATA)

140 Yes, they generate money, but they also show how easily we can function as a nation without three White House chefs and 2 White House make-up artists.

Posted by: Lincolntf at October 01, 2013 01:33 PM (ZshNr)

141 I don't think the body can absorb distilled water.

Posted by: Boss Moss former editor of the Harvard Law Review at October 01, 2013 01:34 PM (KRpfP)

142

SWEET LEAF

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H3YtvuZ2-I0

Posted by: BLack Sabbath at October 01, 2013 01:34 PM (aKFHl)

143

Right, was thinking about "distilled" water. Not a pot still, but like a condensation tower still.

Sears Roebuck and Co. use to sell several countertop stills. Don't know if they still do or not. I've had two of them over the years. Makes great coffee, especially if you grind your own beans.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit at October 01, 2013 01:34 PM (0HooB)

144
The govt went after Martha because of taxes. You can get away with almost anything else, but they will hunt you down to your dying day and beyond to get the taxes.

We are all slaves on the Tax Plantation.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at October 01, 2013 01:34 PM (sj9LN)

145 "...distilled water..."

Posted by: polynikes at October 01, 2013 05:28 PM (m2CN7)

Uh....why?

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at October 01, 2013 01:35 PM (/kU/5)

146 "136 I think it's risible that Stewart got questioned for the same thing that makes Congressmen so much money. Ever wonder how those schmucks get 30%+ on their portfolios? It's because they know who's getting the contracts. Of course they got her on a lie, Congress does that one too. Posted by: bonhomme at October 01, 2013 05:31 PM (yETln) " Yes, but when Congress people do it, it's actually kind of legal. Because getting to write the laws has certain perks. And Congress and other politicians exist above and outside the law anyway.

Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at October 01, 2013 01:35 PM (bc6Q/)

147 That's distilled water and not very good for you to drink solely over any significant length of time. What? What happens to you if you drink distilled water? Is it the lack of minerals? I guess. Beats nasty lake water that fish screw in...

Posted by: rickb223 at October 01, 2013 01:35 PM (lwkv9)

148 Someone finally cleaned up that site meter bullshit.

Posted by: Boss Moss former editor of the Harvard Law Review at October 01, 2013 05:30 PM (KRpfP)

------------------------------------------

Yes. Yes they have. Thanks for pointing that out. I had become so accustomed to dealing with it after every refresh that it became like all the other eccentricities one has to deal with to comment here.

Posted by: Soona at October 01, 2013 01:35 PM (llpSw)

149 I don't know, CAC. These things have been around for a bunch of decades. The rumor was, all the way back when Reagan was President, that Ed Meese got a hold of the customer list of the company that was selling them. Of course, that may have been BS. But, saying that, I think you can put your weed in there.

Posted by: Schrödinger's cat [/i] at October 01, 2013 01:36 PM (U2UQk)

150

What? What happens to you if you drink distilled water? Is it the lack of minerals?

What I've heard is that it leaches calcium from your bones, but I haven't found any definitive data on the subject. If you drink milk, it shouldn't be a problem, IMO.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit at October 01, 2013 01:37 PM (0HooB)

151 What? What happens to you if you drink distilled water? Is it the lack of minerals?

Posted by: bonhomme at October 01, 2013 05:32 PM (yETln)

Not the lack of minerals so much as its ability to absorb the minerals already in your body at a higher rate to be discarded through urine. It also can absorb carbon dioxide after distillation which then increases the acidity in the body. Most soda drinks are made with distilled water. It won't hurt you if you drink it occasionally but not as your only hydration source.

Posted by: polynikes at October 01, 2013 01:37 PM (m2CN7)

152 "146 Yes, they generate money, but they also show how easily we can function as a nation without three White House chefs and 2 White House make-up artists. Posted by: Lincolntf at October 01, 2013 05:33 PM (ZshNr) " President Eye Candy is a real piece of work. And he gets no respect. People keep trying to mess with him!

Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at October 01, 2013 01:37 PM (bc6Q/)

153 What? What happens to you if you drink distilled water? Is it the lack of minerals?
Posted by: rickb223

ELECTROLYTES ... it's what plants crave.

Posted by: weft cut-loop [/i] [/b] at October 01, 2013 01:37 PM (ligos)

154 Because homo-phobia.

Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at October 01, 2013 01:37 PM (bc6Q/)

155 What? What happens to you if you drink distilled water? Is it the lack of minerals? Posted by: bonhomme -------------------- I don't think it is a big deal. As far as efficiency goes, I believe that you would be much better off just to filter the raw water as best you can, then boil thoroughly. Add a few drops/gallon of chlorine bleach if you have it.

Posted by: Mike Hammer at October 01, 2013 01:38 PM (aDwsi)

156 Q: Why don't Republicans (or at least Conservatives) get a boner whenever they think about Obama? A: Because homo-phobia.

Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at October 01, 2013 01:38 PM (bc6Q/)

157

I guess. Beats nasty lake water that fish screw in...

Or the gator whiz that's in the water down here.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit at October 01, 2013 01:39 PM (0HooB)

158 Yes, but when Congress people do it, it's actually kind of legal. Because getting to write the laws has certain perks. And Congress and other politicians exist above and outside the law anyway. Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at October 01, 2013 05:35 PM (bc6Q/) It ought not to be legal. When the constitution was being debated, there was a effort for an amendment requiring that all public officials would receive no special treatment over that of an ordinary citizen. Unfortunately it was voted down.

Posted by: Diogenes' Lamp at October 01, 2013 01:39 PM (bb5+k)

159 Did somebody say CFL bulbs? Do they make NFL bulbs also? Do they come with cheerleaders?

Posted by: Northernlurker at October 01, 2013 01:39 PM (Xmw9g)

160

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit at October 01, 2013 05:37 PM (0HooB)

The Osmolality of it is going to be pretty far off normal body level.

Your stomach can probably take it, but it might not be pleasant just from an upset stomach standpoint.

I dunno if it'd do any long term harm though.

Posted by: tsrblke, PhD(c) (No really.) at October 01, 2013 01:39 PM (GaqMa)

161 What? What happens to you if you drink distilled water? Is it the lack of minerals? Posted by: bonhomme ------------------- Bear in mind that any volatile components in the water (with a boiling point lower than water) will also be distilled into the finished liquid.

Posted by: Mike Hammer at October 01, 2013 01:39 PM (aDwsi)

162 Beats nasty lake water that fish screw in...

Beer's always safe.

Posted by: HeatherRadish™ needs a beer at October 01, 2013 01:40 PM (/kI1Q)

163 KKK rally in Gettysburg, PA cancelled due to government shutdown.

Posted by: Boss Moss former editor of the Harvard Law Review at October 01, 2013 01:40 PM (KRpfP)

164 Bear in mind that any volatile components in the water (with a boiling point lower than water) will also be distilled into the finished liquid.

Posted by: Mike Hammer at October 01, 2013 05:39 PM (aDwsi)

Yep I forgot to mention that.

Posted by: polynikes at October 01, 2013 01:41 PM (m2CN7)

165 156 What? What happens to you if you drink distilled water? Is it the lack of minerals? What I've heard is that it leaches calcium from your bones, but I haven't found any definitive data on the subject. If you drink milk, it shouldn't be a problem, IMO. Answers on Bing are all over the map.

Posted by: rickb223 at October 01, 2013 01:42 PM (lwkv9)

166 Did somebody say CFL bulbs? Do they make NFL bulbs also? Do they come with cheerleaders?

Posted by: Northernlurker at October 01, 2013 05:39 PM (Xmw9g)

----------------------------------------------

I like to fondle bulbs.

Posted by: Soona at October 01, 2013 01:42 PM (llpSw)

167 weft cut loop beat me by.........that much!

Posted by: Mallamutt,

( Points and laughs ) HaH-HaH!

Posted by: weft cut-loop [/i] [/b] at October 01, 2013 01:43 PM (ligos)

168 I don't think it is a big deal. As far as efficiency goes, I believe that you would be much better off just to filter the raw water as best you can, then boil thoroughly. Add a few drops/gallon of chlorine bleach if you have it. The boiling is good for getting rid of live things. I'm worried about other things like heavy metals or whatnot. I'd be getting the water from an urban stream.

Posted by: bonhomme at October 01, 2013 01:44 PM (yETln)

169 OT pointless bitching and moaning:

Yesterday one of my defendants was sentenced and got an "indeterminate" sentence to prison. "Indeterminate" means there is no end date. He gets out, if at all, when the parole board says so. The judge imposes a minimum sentence, in this case six years, but no maximum. Very few indeterminate sentence defendants are ever released except for some aliens who are immediately deported.

This guy is only twenty years old but he was already a registered sex offender when he committed his latest string of crimes. I know of five young girl victims and who knows how many more there are.

All that's fine and good but the local media is reporting he got six years. No. He got a minimum of six years and will probably be incarcerated until he is my age.
Growl!

Posted by: WalrusRex at October 01, 2013 01:45 PM (Hx5uv)

170

Wolf Blitzer is really pouring it on; claims the effect of the shutdown is already being felt in the economy.

They note the up stock market when it supports their myth the economy is doing good and forget it exists when it goes against their meme.

Posted by: polynikes at October 01, 2013 01:45 PM (m2CN7)

171 The boiling is good for getting rid of live things. I'm worried about other things like heavy metals or whatnot. I'd be getting the water from an urban stream.

Posted by: bonhomme at October 01, 2013 05:44 PM (yETln)

-----------------------------------------------

Yup. Make sure you're not downstream from a chemical plant.

Posted by: Soona at October 01, 2013 01:46 PM (llpSw)

172 Um ? Do they also provide pollinating insects, ya know, bees and stuff for the "tomato plants"?

Posted by: seamrog at October 01, 2013 01:47 PM (Yl+WU)

173 "Watching these morons jam q-tips in their ears and then yelping in pain never fails to make me laugh." The best part for me is how he then glares angrily at the q-tip for causing him pain.

Posted by: Vie at October 01, 2013 01:47 PM (zj1cZ)

174 bonhomme - If you are concerned, buy a reverse osmosis system, for instance: http://www.home-water-purifiers-and-filters.com/pentek-ro-2550-reverse-osmosis.php

Posted by: Mike Hammer at October 01, 2013 01:47 PM (aDwsi)

175 Somebody grab willow, nood.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit at October 01, 2013 01:48 PM (0HooB)

176 Add a few drops/gallon of chlorine bleach if you have it. IIRC, 16 drops of bleach per gallon. Clorox used to have a web page about it pre Y2k.

Posted by: rickb223 at October 01, 2013 01:48 PM (lwkv9)

177 combining the last two posts into one:

Boehnerphobia (noun): the failure to recognize you're failing when you're failing. And then screaming "Get it off me!"

Posted by: tangonine at October 01, 2013 01:49 PM (x3YFz)

178
I call distilled water "vodka". But that's just me. Sometimes I call it "whiskey" just to be cool. Unless I'm working, then I say its distilled water.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at October 01, 2013 01:49 PM (sj9LN)

179 Wolf Blitzer is really pouring it on; claims the effect of the shutdown is already being felt in the economy.

***

the Dow up 62 points today. Not great but not bad. Wolf's been into the catnip again.

Posted by: WalrusRex at October 01, 2013 01:50 PM (Hx5uv)

180 the Dow up 62 points today. Not great but not bad. Wolf's been into the catnip again.

Posted by: WalrusRex at October 01, 2013 05:50 PM (Hx5uv)

Explain to me, again, how the Dow is up past 1100? VXX? anyone?

Posted by: tangonine at October 01, 2013 01:51 PM (x3YFz)

181 187
I call distilled water "vodka". But that's just me. Sometimes I call it "whiskey" just to be cool. Unless I'm working, then I say its distilled water.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at October 01, 2013 05:49 PM (sj9LN)

Knew a guy like you. He's dead now.

Posted by: tangonine at October 01, 2013 01:52 PM (x3YFz)

182 That's distilled water and not very good for you to drink solely over any significant length of time. What? What happens to you if you drink distilled water? Is it the lack of minerals? I guess. Beats nasty lake water that fish screw in... Posted by: rickb223 at October 01, 2013 05:35 PM (lwkv9) ---- If this thead is still active, what supposedly happens is that the lack of minerals makes it a mineral magnet, and it leaches minerals FROM your body and you piss them out. Medically speaking.

Posted by: UWP at October 01, 2013 01:57 PM (vj51i)

183 [i/]71 28. I was thinking about using flex seal on my wife's mouth before football games Would make the game so much enjoyable Posted by: Navycopjoe at October 01, 2013 05:19 PM (/y16L) Playing a team whose name doesn't rhyme with Prions might help too.

Posted by: Weirddave at October 01, 2013 02:10 PM (jt8G9)

184 More subtlety is needed here. For example, I can think of at least 420 different products I could grow with this!

/subtlety

Posted by: Naughtius at October 01, 2013 02:18 PM (aBO64)

185 I'm pretty sure the space-qualified Phototrons on the starship U.S.S. Mystery Machine (NCC-1969) will be tended to by Ensigns Shaggy and Scooby Doo.

Posted by: Zoinks at October 01, 2013 02:32 PM (JBLt6)

186 http://www.phototron.com/

Advertised in High Times for over 20 Years. That's the inflight magazine for Moron Airlines isn't it?

Posted by: bestie21 at October 01, 2013 03:14 PM (dy7mZ)

187 I, too, am fascinated by infomercials and I loved this post!

Posted by: Travis at October 02, 2013 06:40 AM (/gUgY)

188 Look for the next episode of Martha's Cooking School on the Create Channel to feature hash brownies.

Posted by: scrubjay at October 02, 2013 08:08 AM (nnqsh)

189 Bah. I would totally buy this. We don't smoke pot, but out closet has 2 1000W MiH lights that we use for growing vegetables very expensively. It's not worth it from a financial standpoint, but we get a tomato every day or two in the middle of the winter that doesn't taste like a red ball of water.

Posted by: Kevin at October 02, 2013 05:14 PM (KKu10)

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