Ace of Spades HQ

July 16, 2013

Apple May Release "iWatch" Smart Watch By End of 2014
— Ace

Mock-up of what the iWatch might look like,
by outside speculators at ADR Studios, via http://www.lepoint.fr

Apple's hiring vigorously for a special project that may be the iWatch. It could be that they've run into tough engineering problems and are scrambling to solve them, which could delay the rumored 2013 release until next year.

Or maybe Tim Cook has decided to scrap the project and he needs bodies to wind it down and pack it up and put it in the basement.

But maybe it's a silly Dick Tracy idea whose time has come.

[A]pplications from Apple to trademark the iWatch name in Mexico, Taiwan, and Turkey, as well as Japan and Russia, have added to the speculation, with one analyst predicting the decision to move ahead with production may have already been made.
Still, the success of smartwatches this time around is by no means guaranteed, as among other things tech companies will need to convince consumers that they need to start wearing watches again (a market, ironically, killed by the clock on a mobile phone). And other form factors, such as Google Glass, are being tested out by vendors too.
But if they do take off, businesses that ignore the potential of wearable computing devices will kick themselves for missing a big opportunity said Richard Holway, chairman of analyst firm TechMarketView, who warned enterprises not to dismiss wearable devices in the same way that they may have dismissed tablets previously.
"Wearable computing will infect every part of corporate IT Â– from financial services (think mobile payments) to airlines (think e-tickets) through to healthcare (in my view its biggest market). You can ignore it. But, much more importantly, you could start to take real advantage of it. You probably have a year to get your plans into production," he said.

If I had to guess about the technical challenge holding up the iWatch: battery. It has no room for anything other than a microscopic battery. Smart phones conserve battery life by mostly being in sleep mode, with the power-eating screen turned off. Anything calling itself a "watch" will have to have a screen on at all (or most) times. There's probably just no way to keep this thing running short of charging it every several hours.

Even assuming they got the thing to work, I have a mixed take on this. First take: There is no way I will ever wear that stupid-looking thing. It's the timekeeping equivalent of a Razor scooter. It's not an age-appropriate accoutrement for anyone older than 14, or 25 if you're liberal. They should just go ahead and sell the iWatch with a complimentary pair of Zany Zappers.

Second take: I've complained about smart phones before. I think they're too big and too obtrusive.

After smart phones got big (literally big, too), the next innovation was the tablet, which was... a very large smart-phone type device.

It seems to me you don't really need both, do you? If you have a big tablet for consuming media, why do you need a large smartphone too? Does anyone really need a small computer (smart phone), a medium sized computer (tablet), and a full sized computer (a computer)?

I could see that this is where the "smart watch" winds up gaining market: It could be that people like the idea of a small, unobtrusive phone/browser/data manager/storage device they can wear on the wrist, and they might use that in combination with a tablet. The watch would provide the cell reception for the tablet via a Bluetooth link (or just a direct wired connection).

In a market with three similar devices:

1. one of which is very small an obtrusive and can be worn like a watch,

2. one of which is too big for a pocket and yet too small to watch movies on, and

3. a third which is too big to be casually portable but is a better size for watching movies on,

I could see the combination of 1 + 3 replacing 2, which, at its size and capability, does a great number of things but loses in one important way: You now have to carry around an electronic device with you at all times, which no one did up until six years ago.

The watch + tablet combination would work, maybe. When you want pure portability and unobtrusiveness and a phone and a tiny computer link, you just wear the watch and skip the tablet; when you have time to kill and want to watch a movie or read a book, you bring the tablet too.

I just think the smart phone, as it is, is an awkward and unsatisfying middle position. It's too big for a phone and too small for a computer.

I know I'm alone on this. I know that I am isolated in my skepticism-verging-on-antipathy towards the smart phone. I know that most of you still think that smart phones are a pretty neat idea (much like the pre-destruction Earthlings in The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy still thought digital watches were a pretty neat idea).

But a man with the truth is a majority of one. And my anti-smart-phone position will prevail.

Then again, based on the mock-ups, there is no way this iWatch is looking anything less than completely stupid. So, back to my First Take.

Posted by: Ace at 03:54 PM | Comments (350)
Post contains 905 words, total size 6 kb.

1 Ace, I see you are on to me. As soon as I start on a roll you up the ante with a new post. I am going to riot!

Posted by: Occupy the toilet at July 16, 2013 03:56 PM (baL2B)

2 All I want to know is if I can spy on Tess Trueheart while she is undressing.

Posted by: George Orwell crosseyed and painless at July 16, 2013 03:56 PM (mCNwt)

3 They can do what they want with their iWatch, but the iDickRing is all mine.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at July 16, 2013 03:58 PM (8ZskC)

4 It's to keep an eye on George Zimmerman. iWatch George......

Posted by: Tami[/i][/b][/u][/s] at July 16, 2013 03:58 PM (X6akg)

5 Screen is too small for anything other than telling time. No one is going to be browsing on that.

Posted by: EC at July 16, 2013 03:59 PM (EdT+4)

6 Why does anyone need a watch?

Posted by: Imam Gold Inastien at July 16, 2013 03:59 PM (V+vab)

7 Dick Tracy your watch is ready. Bad news Google and NSA have you bugged.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at July 16, 2013 03:59 PM (xywpL)

8 We LOVE this product. Makes our job so much easier.

Posted by: NSA at July 16, 2013 03:59 PM (2mSdf)

9 Baroque tweet to iReggie: I want one of these! It is large enough for a super sekrit compartment for my poppin' fresh or a blunt!

Posted by: Occupy the toilet at July 16, 2013 04:00 PM (baL2B)

10 Oh and.... Vacation fish count: EC: 0 Mrs EC: 7 *grumble*

Posted by: EC at July 16, 2013 04:00 PM (EdT+4)

11 I'm waiting for the McWatch to come out.

Posted by: Guido - 'now with 75+% more hate!' at July 16, 2013 04:00 PM (/7gW+)

12 Is there an altimeter app?

Posted by: Wi So Lo at July 16, 2013 04:00 PM (8ZskC)

13 It comes preloaded with a self defense instructional video to help users fend off the inevitable beatings.

Posted by: Gristle Encased Head at July 16, 2013 04:00 PM (+lsX1)

14 What happens when you look at your iWatch while wearing Google glasses?

Posted by: NSA at July 16, 2013 04:00 PM (2mSdf)

15 If my iWatch had a vagina, it would be spending its time on my wrist.

Posted by: George Orwell crosseyed and painless at July 16, 2013 04:00 PM (mCNwt)

16 There's probably just no way to keep this thing running short of charging it every several hours.

It could use solar, the little calculator i bought a decade ago for my desk has a tiny little solar panel on it to keep it charged, i'm sure the tech has only improved since then.

Posted by: booger at July 16, 2013 04:00 PM (E1tcO)

17 You aren't a serious person if you don't wear a watch. No, not this atrocity. A real watch, with hands and a dial.

Now get off my lawn.

Posted by: pep at July 16, 2013 04:01 PM (6TB1Z)

18 I don't go anywhere without my iPhone. What will this do that my iPhone cannot? I just don't see Apple introducing this product. It's been a rumor for a long time and I can't see how there would be a market for it in the smart phone age. Apple makes its mistakes; but this is just too glaring. I don't see it happening.

Posted by: Tommy at July 16, 2013 04:01 PM (ZYlKz)

19 Poor EC
http://en.bijin-snap.com/2013/07/17/no-951/page/11/

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at July 16, 2013 04:01 PM (xywpL)

20 If my iWatch had a vagina, it wouldn't be spending its time on my wrist. Man. An easy line drive and I bunted.

Posted by: George Orwell crosseyed and painless at July 16, 2013 04:02 PM (mCNwt)

21 It's ugly. That's all I got. No woman is gonna wear that unsightly POS.

Posted by: L, elle at July 16, 2013 04:02 PM (0PiQ4)

22 You can plug it into a car battery that is conveniently held in the iCarBatteryBackPack.

Posted by: Gristle Encased Head at July 16, 2013 04:02 PM (+lsX1)

23 14 What happens when you look at your iWatch while wearing Google glasses?

Posted by: NSA at July 16, 2013 08:00 PM (2mSdf)

A giant rip in the vortex. Its in the instructions under the disclaimers

Posted by: Guido - 'now with 75+% more hate!' at July 16, 2013 04:02 PM (/7gW+)

24 OT... Smokey and the Bandit on AMC Might as well revel in the Southern stereotypes.

Posted by: 13 year old LIV's everywhere at July 16, 2013 04:02 PM (jjvz+)

25 I don't need no stinking IWatch fuckers

Posted by: Misanthropic humanitarian, now with 50% more sensitivity at July 16, 2013 04:02 PM (HVff2)

26 Remember when people believed their cell phones caused cancer? Why would strapping one to wrist and wearing it all day be any safer?

Posted by: NSA at July 16, 2013 04:02 PM (2mSdf)

27 Wouldn't it be really fucking easy to shatter the screen? I don't wear a watch anymore, but when I did, I was constantly banging into stuff with it.

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at July 16, 2013 04:02 PM (GEICT)

28 Apple makes its mistakes; but this is just too glaring. I don't see it happening.

Then you won't be interested in our RFID nipple rings?

Posted by: Tim Scott at July 16, 2013 04:03 PM (8ZskC)

29 And all the speculation i've seen about it is that'll it be more of a conduit to other devices than a fully functioning device itself, meaning lots of cloud/bluetooth functions.

Posted by: booger at July 16, 2013 04:03 PM (E1tcO)

30 off sock The watch is clearly meant for the yungins because nobody my age could read it without glasses.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at July 16, 2013 04:03 PM (jjvz+)

31 I must have one !!!

Posted by: The Hoi Polloi at July 16, 2013 04:04 PM (1MXyW)

32 Thanks Anna!

Posted by: EC at July 16, 2013 04:04 PM (EdT+4)

33 This is just another way for that guy who is suing Apple to get his constant stream of porn.

Posted by: somebody else, not me at July 16, 2013 04:04 PM (29vnO)

34 27 Wouldn't it be really fucking easy to shatter the screen?

I don't wear a watch anymore, but when I did, I was constantly banging into stuff with it.

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at July 16, 2013 08:02 PM (GEICT)

Sounds like a gross motor problem B.

Posted by: Guido - 'now with 75+% more hate!' at July 16, 2013 04:04 PM (/7gW+)

35 Then you won't be interested in our RFID nipple rings? The iPierce comes in several colors and is guaranteed hypoallergenic.

Posted by: George Orwell crosseyed and painless at July 16, 2013 04:04 PM (mCNwt)

36 Off to catch the big fish!

Posted by: EC at July 16, 2013 04:04 PM (EdT+4)

37
The last thing I would buy is a device with even smaller buttons than my stupid smart phone.

Posted by: soothsayer at July 16, 2013 04:04 PM (vanqS)

38 I heard that a young Chinese woman was killed answering her iPhone while it was plugged in being recharged. Electrocuted. Happened a day or so ago.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at July 16, 2013 04:04 PM (lVPtV)

39 I'm ready for the I-cod piece...

Posted by: sven10077@sven10077 at July 16, 2013 04:05 PM (LRFds)

40 I heard that a young Chinese woman was killed answering her iPhone while it was plugged in being recharged. Electrocuted. Happened a day or so ago. *** Was the charger a cheap Chinese knockoff?

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at July 16, 2013 04:05 PM (jjvz+)

41 If my iWatch had a vagina, it wouldn't be spending its time on my wrist.

Man. An easy line drive and I bunted.

If my iWatch had a vagina, I wouldn't have to get hugs and Donna Frye wouldn't be ragging on my ass.

Posted by: Bob Filner, still Mayor of San Diego at July 16, 2013 04:05 PM (kqqGm)

42 Google's Fapometer app will allow it to identify sex-crazed perverts and direct targeted ads.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at July 16, 2013 04:06 PM (8ZskC)

43 I'm waiting for the iWatch2 to come out six months later. It's going to have Siri in it so you can just talk to your watch all like, "Siri, what time is it?" And it'll tell you.

Posted by: Gristle Encased Head at July 16, 2013 04:06 PM (+lsX1)

44 44 comments? New thread for us iWatch users please.

Posted by: RWC at July 16, 2013 04:06 PM (8FeS+)

45 38 I heard that a young Chinese woman was killed answering her iPhone while it was plugged in being recharged. Electrocuted. Happened a day or so ago.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at July 16, 2013 08:04 PM (lVPtV)

IPhone is an instrument of death but never reported on. swearzies you guys.

Posted by: Guido - 'now with 75+% more hate!' at July 16, 2013 04:06 PM (/7gW+)

46 Damn I'm good.

Posted by: RWC at July 16, 2013 04:06 PM (8FeS+)

47 I just think the smart phone, as it is, is an awkward and unsatisfying middle position. It's too big for a phone and too small for a computer. ------------------ You have no idea what you're talking about. You know all the fucking magic I bring to the Internet? DONE ON A SMARTPHONE.

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at July 16, 2013 04:06 PM (eNNXJ)

48 from the sidebar,

yeah Ms. Graham-McCain is a Reagan fucking conservative...

I remember Reagan refusing to call spades spades on the culture wars...

oh wait you mean Ronald not Ron Reagan jr?

Yeah well no

Posted by: sven10077@sven10077 at July 16, 2013 04:07 PM (LRFds)

49 So now you can stare at the time while web-surfing - seeing the actual time you've wasted...cool!

Posted by: NSA at July 16, 2013 04:07 PM (2mSdf)

50 One of the largest power drains on a smart phone is the display (30-40% of total power draw). At 4-5" a smart phone display naturally will consume a lot more power than an i-watch display. Also the use of sensors (gyroscopes) will allow the watch display to toggle on when it is lifted in a manner consistent with a user viewing the display and would go off when in other positions. With limited browsing capability, no streaming or downloading etc. I would bet you could get 12-18 hours minimum out of an i-watch. Still quite inferior to a regular watch.

Posted by: scofflawx at July 16, 2013 04:07 PM (hcgfJ)

51 You know all the fucking magic I bring to the Internet? DONE ON A SMARTPHONE. Posted by: Empire of Jeff at July 16, 2013 08:06 PM (eNNXJ) I'm impressed you got by all the buttons and pretty colors.

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at July 16, 2013 04:08 PM (GEICT)

52 I just think the smart phone, as it is, is an awkward and unsatisfying middle position. It's too big for a phone and too small for a computer.

My iphone 5 is pretty dang small - in fact it may be the smallest cell phone I've ever owned. I'm not sure what you're holding out for.

Posted by: Mætenloch at July 16, 2013 04:08 PM (pAlYe)

53 I-Cod...

I like it...

it plays music whenever you get your crank happy...

of course given Schumer is all cock his would be a perpetual motion machine.

Posted by: sven10077@sven10077 at July 16, 2013 04:08 PM (LRFds)

54 I just want something to tap on my chest when I need to call the bridge.

Posted by: Baron bon Mot at July 16, 2013 04:08 PM (Fy9Jg)

55 IWatch, McWatch, Googwatch or watchgle, what is next.

Posted by: Guido - 'now with 75+% more hate!' at July 16, 2013 04:08 PM (/7gW+)

56 Fap-Cam.

Posted by: Lincolntf at July 16, 2013 04:08 PM (ZshNr)

57 They will solve the battery life problem by using the iHuman as the power source.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at July 16, 2013 04:08 PM (xywpL)

58
5 years from now, people will own a phone with a camera and a small laptop. Two separate devices instead of one.

Posted by: soothsayer at July 16, 2013 04:09 PM (xIzGn)

Anything calling itself a "watch" will have to have a screen on at all (or most) times.

Nonsense. LED watches used to have a button on the side that you had to push to turn on the display. That's why Arthur Dent was concerned about how he would operate his digital watch, now that one of his arms was drifting off into the sunset.

Posted by: Anachronda at July 16, 2013 04:09 PM (FzhYM)

60 57 Anna Puma,

basically I think mankind will happily fall into "Matrix" so long as it has a catchy jingle...

Posted by: sven10077@sven10077 at July 16, 2013 04:09 PM (LRFds)

61 >>> You aren't a serious person if you don't wear a watch. No, not this atrocity. A real watch, with hands and a dial. Don't forget the onion on your belt.

Posted by: fluffy at July 16, 2013 04:09 PM (JkZhL)

62 http://tinyurl.com/lwhnwpq

Dilbert has a better idea than the iWatch...

Posted by: dudenolongerinsantacruz at July 16, 2013 04:10 PM (TIiZt)

63 My 1974 Casio digital with the red LED's looked better. Enough of Apple. I'm I'd out.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at July 16, 2013 04:10 PM (+98Gb)

64 5 years from now, people will own a phone with a camera and a small laptop. Two separate devices instead of one *** That's what many of us own now.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at July 16, 2013 04:10 PM (jjvz+)

65 The Windows 8 version will weigh 10 lbs. and have a keyboard that sticks to your forearm.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at July 16, 2013 04:10 PM (8ZskC)

66 So when all you Morons are hiding in the woods from Chinless and Barry's minions (and I'll be with you), you'll forget you're wearing your iWatches and get us all killed.

Great.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at July 16, 2013 04:10 PM (lVPtV)

67 If the cell carriers would allow bluetooth tethering the smartphone would have never been required. Now that they are raking in horrifying amounts of cash financing $600 devices every 2-3 years don't expect that to change.

The whole reason for bt to exist was to allow a PAN (Personal Area Network) where your small (remember when whoever had the smallest cellphone won the nerd dick size contest?) phone sat in your pocket and connected you to the Internet and did phone calls if you wanted that. It linked your PDA (remember those before they merged to make the smartphone?), laptop, tablet, whatever to the Internet and you would have a earpiece that used bt to link to the phone for most of your calls or playing music, watching video on your larger display devices, etc.

Posted by: John Morris at July 16, 2013 04:10 PM (OMT3n)

68 56 Fap-Cam.

Posted by: Lincolntf at July 16, 2013 08:08 PM (ZshNr)

McFapCam or the HappyFapCam for the kiddies.

Posted by: Guido - 'now with 75+% more hate!' at July 16, 2013 04:10 PM (/7gW+)

69 I just think the smart phone, as it is, is an awkward and unsatisfying middle position. It's too big for a phone and too small for a computer. My iphone 5 is pretty dang small - in fact it may be the smallest cell phone I've ever owned. I'm not sure what you're holding out for. Posted by: MÃ¦tenloch at July 16, 2013 08:08 PM (pAlYe) ------------------- When you have a 14" inseam, phones don't fit in your Osh Kosh B'Gosh overalls pocket.

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at July 16, 2013 04:11 PM (eNNXJ)

70 You aren't a serious person if you don't wear a watch. No, not this atrocity. A real watch, with hands and a dial. *** If I leave the house without putting mine on I feel so nekkid that I turn around and go back to the house.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at July 16, 2013 04:11 PM (jjvz+)

71 65 The Windows 8 version will weigh 10 lbs. and have a keyboard that sticks to your forearm.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at July 16, 2013 08:10 PM (8ZskC)

That's fuckin' funny C...but don't let it go to your head.

Posted by: Guido - 'now with 75+% more hate!' at July 16, 2013 04:12 PM (/7gW+)

72
That's what many of us own now.

Then you're ahead of your time. Congratulations.

Posted by: soothsayer at July 16, 2013 04:12 PM (8dspl)

73 Now if only we had an influx of eager foreign workers to build the thing. Doing the jobs American nerds won't do.

Posted by: Marco Rubio at July 16, 2013 04:12 PM (mCNwt)

14 What happens when you look at your iWatch while wearing Google glasses?

You see an ad targeted to you based on your location, recent e-mails, phone calls, and whether or not it's tea time.

Posted by: Anachronda at July 16, 2013 04:12 PM (FzhYM)

75 Dear Apple-- There's already a clock on your fucking iPhone.

Posted by: zsasz at July 16, 2013 04:13 PM (MMC8r)

76 Haven't worn a watch in ages. I kept scratching the crystal so I just gave up.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at July 16, 2013 04:13 PM (+98Gb)

77 If I leave the house without putting mine on I feel so nekkid that I turn around and go back to the house.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at July 16, 2013 08:11 PM (jjvz+)

Could you expand on that 'nekkid' thing? I'm asking for a friend.

Posted by: Guido - 'now with 75+% more hate!' at July 16, 2013 04:13 PM (/7gW+)

78 >>> When you have a 14" inseam, phones don't fit in your Osh Kosh B'Gosh overalls pocket You're a chimp?

Posted by: fluffy at July 16, 2013 04:13 PM (JkZhL)

79 Completely OT: Saw Pacific Rim with the older padawan and loved it!

And Ace, i went from the iPhone 4s to the Galaxy S Note 2 (a huge effin' phone) and I love the new phone, is it big, yeah, but i can read the screen, comes with a stylus and is probably the first smartphone that is actually useful for work. Only bummer is I can't use some of my iTunes music, but there are ways around it.

So stay cool to all the horde, i am heading out tomorrow for 4 fun days of cub scout camping in Alpine NJ, in the middle of a heat wave, like nearly every year we go.

Posted by: Penfold at July 16, 2013 04:13 PM (wT+sh)

80 66 So when all you Morons are hiding in the woods from Chinless and Barry's minions (and I'll be with you), you'll forget you're wearing your iWatches and get us all killed.

Great.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at July 16, 2013 08:10 PM (lVPtV)

I am keeping my ancient phone. I don't think they can trace me. That is their plan, keep renewing your phones. *Waves to Stedman at ancient computer on desk that I did not even know had a camera*

Posted by: Occupy the toilet at July 16, 2013 04:14 PM (baL2B)

81 The iFap.

Posted by: Lincolntf at July 16, 2013 04:14 PM (ZshNr)

You'd better remove that thing before we get started.

Posted by: Sandra Fluke at July 16, 2013 04:14 PM (wAQA5)

83 But will it come with Obama's speeches preloaded?

Posted by: George Orwell crosseyed and painless at July 16, 2013 04:15 PM (mCNwt)

84
Here's where my tech advance is: my cell phone can be used as a phone. That's it.

I don't really feel I am missing anything.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at July 16, 2013 04:15 PM (4+FWp)

45 IPhone is an instrument of death but never reported on.

Indeed. George Zimmerman really messed up when he designed the charging circuit.

Posted by: Anachronda at July 16, 2013 04:15 PM (FzhYM)

86 Ace, You got that wrong. That's a picture of the new- iCowboyBelt Buckle. When you push out your belly, a digital picture of a derringer at whoever's in front of you and goes "Bang!".

Posted by: Somewhat Sorry To Offend You at July 16, 2013 04:15 PM (n50fF)

87 So stay cool to all the horde, i am heading out tomorrow for 4 fun days of cub scout camping in Alpine NJ, in the middle of a heat wave, like nearly every year we go. *** Be careful out there and make sure you don't wake up on a cot in the middle of lake.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at July 16, 2013 04:15 PM (jjvz+)

88 @NDH

Same here, I feel unbalanced without it on my wrist.

Posted by: Penfold at July 16, 2013 04:16 PM (wT+sh)

89 Our friend whose wife is dying, was telling us his mountain neighbor has a sign at the end of the drive leading up to his cabin:

NO CELLPHONES BEYOND THIS POINT

And the guy means it. He's living totally off the grid. And he's well-armed.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at July 16, 2013 04:16 PM (lVPtV)

90 You're a chimp? Posted by: fluffy at July 16, 2013 08:13 PM (JkZhL) ---------- The Ewok. That's why he thinks smartphones are too big. Because Ewoks are short. FFS.

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at July 16, 2013 04:16 PM (eNNXJ)

91
You're a chimp?

Where??

Posted by: soothsayer at July 16, 2013 04:16 PM (NLH1M)

92 Alpine is lovely. Try to stay cool and thanks for serving with the Scouts.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at July 16, 2013 04:17 PM (SSj/B)

93 I'm typing this on my "phablet," the Galaxy Note 2. To me this is perfect. I have enough screen space to do all my web browsing, but I can also carry it in my pocket. It's more useful than a traditional tablet. If I really want a big screen for streaming something or typing a big document, I'll just switch to a laptop. I'd be perfectly content with just 2 tech devices for the rest of my life - a big laptop and the phablet. No need for anything else.

Posted by: Paul Zummo at July 16, 2013 04:17 PM (caPl0)

94 I like it!1!1!

Posted by: Bill Gates at July 16, 2013 04:17 PM (nTfyI)

95 The iPhone 6 will have a newly designed virtual keyboard in English, Spanish, French and whatever language it is Rachel Jeantel mutters.

Posted by: George Orwell crosseyed and painless at July 16, 2013 04:17 PM (mCNwt)

96 The fap meter. This app will let you know just how vigorously you fap and how many calories you burn while doing it.

Posted by: Iwatch App at July 16, 2013 04:18 PM (Aif/5)

97 Me too; I can't do anything else with the phone except text and I hate texting.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at July 16, 2013 04:18 PM (SSj/B)

98 Ace, I'm a computer guy and here's my take on this. Apple made huge money by pioneering the first non-sucky smartphone. They got "first-mover advantage" which in turn resulted in "network effect" (everyone bought iPhones because all the apps were for iPhones, all the apps were for iPhones because everyone bought iPhones). Then Apple made huge money again by pioneering the first non-sucky tablet. Again, first-mover advantage and network effect. Both of the above were huge game-changing innovations, and they owned both markets for quite a while and milked them for quite a while. People who would normally buy less-expensive products were paying full price for fancy Apple products and Apple was loving it. So now, Android has taken away most of the smartphone market and much of the tablet market. Apple's stock price is down. And my big question is: how does Apple pull off another game-changer that nobody else is positioned to compete with for quite a while? And I have to say, I just can't see anything. The iWatch itself I don't see as a game-changer. At best it would be a "nice to have", not a "must have" sort of item. Also, Android is equally or better positioned to do watch products... and Android watches are already being done. So, Apple will not be able to get first-mover advantage, and the only network effect will be the iWatch riding on the coattails of the iPhone market. I can't imagine Apple is as excited about this as about the iPhone and iPad. As for what you will do with the device, itself: the only thing that makes sense is notifications, some phone control, and quick peeks. Someone sent you an email? Your watch can flash the sender's name and the subject line. Someone's calling you? Your watch can flash the name of the person or at least the phone number. You should be able to decline the call by touching a GUI button on the watch display, without ever taking the phone out of your pocket; likewise silence the ringer. And you should be able to quickly pull up a mini graphic about what the weather is about to do, what the traffic will be like on your commute, or anything else you might want to frequently check without pulling out the phone. For Apple, with Siri, the watch could allow the user to use Siri without ever taking the phone out of the pocket. Google is doing voice search stuff, so Android watches will have the same thing. For both smartphones and tablets, Apple identified markets that had sucky products, and Apple delivered products that were huge improvements. I don't see any remaining markets that are so under-served, and if it turns out that the market gets really excited about a watch as a phone accessory, Android is well-positioned to compete right away instead of letting Apple own the market for a couple dozen months. In short, I don't think the iWatch will be a game changer, and I'm not excited about it. If Apple can gin up excitement around it I will be surprised. (If any company can gin up excitement around a not-really-exciting product, it's Apple.) P.S. I'm more interested in the new Mac Pro, the one shaped like a little black trash can. If it weren't hideously overpriced I would buy one. I'm hoping Acer or Asus or some other Taiwanese company will make a new form factor PC that is designed around a central heat sink, with one huge quiet fan to cool the whole thing... but I hope they make an open standard so you can swap out a video card or the motherboard anytime you want.

Posted by: steveha at July 16, 2013 04:18 PM (TMG3G)

99 81 The iFap.

Posted by: Lincolntf at July 16, 2013 08:14 PM (ZshNr)

A classy comment. Tasteful, one might say. Suitable for repetition at an elegant dinner party with ladies about.

82 You'd better remove that thing before we get started.

Posted by: Sandra Fluke at July 16, 2013 08:14 PM (wAQA5)

Cringe inducing, inspiring horrific imagery. A "B+" of a comment. It also made me giggle.

Posted by: dudenolongerinsantacruz at July 16, 2013 04:18 PM (TIiZt)

100 89 Jane D'oh,

I dream of the day I am that isolated.

Posted by: sven10077@sven10077 at July 16, 2013 04:18 PM (LRFds)

101 96 The fap meter. This app will let you know just how vigorously you fap and how many calories you burn while doing it.

And it will forward that information to da gubmint.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at July 16, 2013 04:18 PM (lVPtV)

102 The Ewok. That's why he thinks smartphones are too big. Because Ewoks are short. But they have big feet, don't they? You know, big feet, big, you know.

Posted by: George Orwell crosseyed and painless at July 16, 2013 04:18 PM (mCNwt)

103 a big laptop and the phablet. No need for anything else.

Posted by: Paul Zummo at July 16, 2013 08:17 PM (caPl0)

Phlablet? I thought that was a weight loss pill.

Posted by: Guido - 'now with 75+% more hate!' at July 16, 2013 04:18 PM (/7gW+)

104 I'd make fun of this but there are MacFanBoys who will stand in line for a month and pay $15K for one just to have it eight seconds before someone else.

Posted by: zsasz at July 16, 2013 04:19 PM (MMC8r)

105 There was a fake video of a new iPhone coming out. If they could somehow pull it off it would be awesome.

Posted by: RWC at July 16, 2013 04:19 PM (8FeS+)

106 I'll stick with the shoe.

Posted by: Maxwell Smart at July 16, 2013 04:19 PM (wAQA5)

107 Damn, it's so hot my coffee fermented sitting here on the desk.
I've had two day old cold coffee, but this was bad.

Posted by: Skandia Recluse at July 16, 2013 04:19 PM (V+vab)

108 Yep, screen size is the killer. No one over 40 is even going to be able to see the thing. As it is, pretty much only kids have the eyesight and dexterity to use smartphones well. For the rest of us it is a pain trying to get the things to even spell m-e-t-h correctly. That is why they have autocorrect and SIRI. If touchscreens had been developed first the great technical innovation now would be discrete buttons where you can actually feel you are hitting the correct key and get tactile feedback.

Of course I wouldn't even have a smart phone if someone hadn't given it to me. Some damn kid got separated from his when he was chased offa my lawn.

Posted by: Thatch at July 16, 2013 04:19 PM (qYvEa)

109 Post your fap rates on social media in real time! Compete with friends and family! Or meet new friends with the Fap-app!

Posted by: Lincolntf at July 16, 2013 04:19 PM (ZshNr)

110 I have an iPhone a laptop and a desktop. Other than a few urges I really have. No desire to buy a tablet. Now if I didn't have a laptop I probably would get a tablet. And the iPhone is a good sized smartphone I think. The Samsung galaxy's are almost comically oversized but I have friends with them that love them.

Posted by: Buzzion at July 16, 2013 04:20 PM (5RGyO)

111 Coming Soon: iSuppository. Stick the future up your ass.

Posted by: Apple, Inc., a division of SatanCo. at July 16, 2013 04:20 PM (MMC8r)

112 @NDH

No lake only a pool, if the cub scouts I am with can figure how to get me over the 10' chain link fence without waking me up, I figure they finally listened to what I was telling them. Then one of the nice juicy lifeguards can come resuscitate me.

Posted by: Penfold at July 16, 2013 04:20 PM (wT+sh)

113 107 skandia recluse,

trick is lash it w/some Irish...

Posted by: sven10077@sven10077 at July 16, 2013 04:20 PM (LRFds)

114 The iFap.

Posted by: Lincolntf at July 16, 2013 08:14 PM (ZshNr)

Oh, I'll bet you do.

Posted by: Sandra Fluke at July 16, 2013 04:21 PM (8ZskC)

115 The future of communications :

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AL-EBWbZU8s

Posted by: Bertram Cabot Jr. at July 16, 2013 04:21 PM (tb0Jd)

116 Battery? How about solar cells, like on current calculators and a backup battery.

Posted by: Billy Bob, pseudo intellectal at July 16, 2013 04:22 PM (wR+pz)

117 I'd wear it if it would assist my snopping activity.

Posted by: Brennan at July 16, 2013 04:22 PM (4JGSO)

118 I have a jewelry drawer full of beautiful watches my husband has given me over the years, as well as antique ones, and a pretty one D'oh Boy gave me for Christmas.

I'm going to take several of them to have new batteries installed and begin wearing them again.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at July 16, 2013 04:23 PM (lVPtV)

119 Lena Dunham has a great big ass. she is also a great big ass that is all

Posted by: Jake in ID at July 16, 2013 04:23 PM (IxRjw)

120 I can't believe there's going to be real Dick Tracy watches.

And I like Apple's approach: "We're going to do this; solve the problems. You have until next year." That's that, fellas.

Posted by: rdbrewer at July 16, 2013 04:23 PM (Iyg03)

121
Yes or No?

Samantha's nose-twinkle sound effect would make a great ringtone.

Posted by: soothsayer at July 16, 2013 04:24 PM (KeJAW)

122 iWatch? No. Smartphone? When you pry it from my cold dead fingers. I hated the idea when it first came out but I literally can't imagine doing my job without one now.

Posted by: JackStraw at July 16, 2013 04:25 PM (g1DWB)

123 >>>If I had to guess about the technical challenge holding up the iWatch: battery. It has no room for anything other than a microscopic battery.

Use color e-ink display. Use ambient light to make visible. Only change display once a minute. Charge using body kinetics.

Posted by: MikeTheMoose Laughing Maniacally While Throwing Matches. at July 16, 2013 04:26 PM (0q2P7)

124 Didn't read the commentsm watching the all-star game. Which I don't really care about either.

But I was thinking, the battery issue is predicated on fitting the battery inside the normally functional part of the watch. What if, instead, one were to put the battery in the wrist band? My old watch had a metal band that always reminded me of a tank tread (there was an inside and outside ring of metal strips that connected in an alternating fashion and could slide a little against each other, so the whole band was a little stretchy), and I think if you did something like that but with batteries, you could get quite a bit of power there.

It'd be a problem if they haven't straightened out the exploding battery issue, particularly if it was "hidden" inside of a velcro band or something.

Posted by: Methos at July 16, 2013 04:26 PM (hO9ad)

125 I have a smart phone, but it's having some behavioral issues at the moment. Probably just going through a phase.

Posted by: Lincolntf at July 16, 2013 04:26 PM (ZshNr)

126 56 Fap-Cam. Posted by: Lincolntf at July 16, 2013 08:08 PM (ZshNr) Is that a creepy-ass fap-cam, or a creepy ass-fap-cam?

Posted by: Insomniac at July 16, 2013 04:27 PM (GdUWB)

127 Only loses 2 minutes a day!

Posted by: MicrosoftWatch at July 16, 2013 04:28 PM (MMC8r)

128 My dog might like to have one of these watches. Of course, he's a watch dog.

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at July 16, 2013 04:28 PM (pxDth)

129 Insomniac, that depends on which wrist you where it on.

Posted by: Lincolntf at July 16, 2013 04:28 PM (ZshNr)

130 We're issuing a patch to restore the nines.

Posted by: MicrosoftWatch at July 16, 2013 04:29 PM (MMC8r)

131 They look like handcuffs to me

Posted by: Extra Testicles at July 16, 2013 04:29 PM (nTfyI)

132 My pet peeve is seeing people constantly walking around talking on their phones or just carrying them. No one is that important.

Posted by: Zombie Speedbump at July 16, 2013 04:29 PM (cjFRv)

133 Wear

Posted by: Lincolntf at July 16, 2013 04:29 PM (ZshNr)

134 Vacation fish count:

EC: 0
Mrs EC: 7

*grumble*

Posted by: EC at July 16, 2013 08:00 PM (EdT+4)

My vacation fish count:

GGE: 5

Boy of GGE: ZERO!!! HAHAHAHA!!!!

That doesn't happen often.

Posted by: GGE of the Moron Horde, NC Chapter at July 16, 2013 04:29 PM (yh0zB)

135 who cares? you?

Posted by: fred at July 16, 2013 04:29 PM (bm9zf)

136 >>You'd better remove that thing before we get started. Posted by: Sandra Fluke at July 16, 2013 08:14 PM (wAQA5) Don't worry its waterproof and it has GPS so we can find it if it falls off my wrist in there.

Posted by: Aviator at July 16, 2013 04:29 PM (DI+ja)

137 Of course, he's a watch dog. *** Ba da dum

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at July 16, 2013 04:30 PM (jjvz+)

138 Attention Erichs of the Third Reich, LVI Pantzer Corpse

Erich Hoepnchanger
Erich Brandenberger
Erich Holdmebaroque
Erich Hildabeast
Erich Reidathughasearmites

Copy: All is well as planned. Operation Barbarella is complete. Repeat, the lizard is dead. iphones operational. GOP none the wiser. In and out burgher.

Posted by: Occupy the toilet may be Erich von Manstein at July 16, 2013 04:30 PM (baL2B)

139 >>>My iphone 5 is pretty dang small - in fact it may be the smallest cell phone I've ever owned. I'm not sure what you're holding out for.

A ring like Green Lantern.

Posted by: ace at July 16, 2013 04:30 PM (/IWYB)

140 Just ponder trying to watch a music video on the thing. Or playing a game. I think we are seeing the Edsel of technology debuting.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at July 16, 2013 04:30 PM (xywpL)

141 Time not found. (A)bort, (R)estart, (R)etry?

Posted by: MicrosoftWatch at July 16, 2013 04:31 PM (MMC8r)

142 Sorry if this has already been mentioned....I'm kinda hit and run around here these days.... Fired employee to file lawsuit against Zimmerman prosecutors snip~ "We will be filing a whistleblower action in (Florida's Fourth Judicial District) Circuit Court," said Kruidbos' attorney Wesley White, himself a former prosecutor who was hired by Corey but resigned in December because he disagreed with her prosecutorial priorities. He said the suit will be filed within the next 30 days. http://tinyurl.com/ld6w35w

Posted by: Tami[/i][/b][/u][/s] at July 16, 2013 04:32 PM (X6akg)

143 141 anna puma,

quite...

it's the I-patch.....

Posted by: sven10077@sven10077 at July 16, 2013 04:32 PM (LRFds)

144 I'll wait for the NSA model. The iWatchU

Posted by: Bitter Clinger and All That (Ecclesiates 9:11) at July 16, 2013 04:32 PM (28TG+)

145 I know I'm alone on this. I know that I am isolated in my skepticism-verging-on-antipathy towards the smart phone. I know that most of you still think that smart phones are a pretty neat idea (much like the pre-destruction Earthlings in The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy still thought digital watches were a pretty neat idea). But a man with the truth is a majority of one. And my anti-smart-phone position will prevail. **** LOL! Really a smart phone is too big? What the hell do you carry for a mobile phone then? Is that really that much smaller? Is it lighter--or is this just really--well Freudian.

Posted by: Land Sharkelle at July 16, 2013 04:32 PM (r2PLg)

146 It needs a larger screen. Maybe an aerosol mist emitted from a companion-component that would serve as a projection surface.

Posted by: Lincolntf at July 16, 2013 04:33 PM (ZshNr)

147 140 >>>My iphone 5 is pretty dang small - in fact it may be the smallest cell phone I've ever owned. I'm not sure what you're holding out for. ***** This. Maybe Ace is rocking one of those satellite phones from 1995.

Posted by: Land Sharkelle at July 16, 2013 04:33 PM (r2PLg)

148 If it can measure how fast I'm fapping, I'll get one.

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at July 16, 2013 04:34 PM (V1ZIU)

149 If it can measure how fast I'm fapping, I'll get one. *** You'll need a radar gun for that.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at July 16, 2013 04:35 PM (jjvz+)

150 "Does anyone really need a small computer (smart phone), a medium sized computer (tablet), and a full sized computer (a computer)?"

Oh dear goodness, YES! Smart phone for the hurry-up-and-wait aspect of the military, as well as the holy-crap-the-stuff-hit-the-fan-and-I-have-no-idea-where-my-husband-just-got-yanked-to. Tablet for writing - I'm getting the Galaxy Note shipped to me, and you Morons will be treated to some cheap fanfic/original stories soon. (My handwriting's illegible, and I edit when I transcribe, which means first drafts never get done.) Full-sized computer- can't be a gamer and NOT have one, sorry. Dual monitors, medium-range processor, able to take down dragons while Pookette excitedly cheers me on.

Doubt I'd go for an iWatch, though-my nickel allergy prevents me from wearing watches, even with clear nail polish coating the back.

Sorry for all the verbiage, BuzzBalls (Cran Blaster) are amazing!!!

Posted by: pookysgirl at July 16, 2013 04:35 PM (kMnHs)

151 He's got his satellite phone and his beta max tapes--and his laser disks--and an eight track-- because shut up! --they are all going to win--just give it time.

Posted by: Land Sharkelle at July 16, 2013 04:35 PM (r2PLg)

152 func(daylight.savings.time) not found; system halted.

Posted by: MicrosoftWatch at July 16, 2013 04:36 PM (MMC8r)

153 >>> If it can measure how fast I'm fapping, I'll get one And use it as a fan.

Posted by: fluffy at July 16, 2013 04:36 PM (JkZhL)

154 133 My pet peeve is seeing people constantly walking around talking on their phones or just carrying them. No one is that important.

Posted by: Zombie Speedbump at July 16, 2013 08:29 PM (cjFRv)

oooor they have it on speaker and hold it up to their mouth like a slice of pizza and talk into so you have to listen their conversation. *grabs phone steps on it, slaps user*

Posted by: Guido - 'now with 75+% more hate!' at July 16, 2013 04:36 PM (/7gW+)

155 Wait till they come out with the iEye. Sure you'll have to pluck out one of your eyeballs but think of the possibilities. You will never have to put in on, or in. Clean the screen by blinking and you can keep your hands free while surfing the tubes. And when they perfect the thought to type you will never have to worry about the inevitable carpal tunnel from over commenting. Plus the pirate jokes just write themselves.

Posted by: JackStraw at July 16, 2013 04:37 PM (g1DWB)

156 Once my Beanie Baby collection matures, I've got this life licked!

Posted by: Lincolntf at July 16, 2013 04:37 PM (ZshNr)

157 Please wait..... ......upgrading to MirosoftWatch ME.... Please wait....

Posted by: MicrosoftWatch at July 16, 2013 04:37 PM (MMC8r)

158 Well its not bad enough that I had a misspent youth but now I've pissed away another hour of my life that I can never get back at this God forsaken site.... and I mean that with love and affection. Later all.

Posted by: Guido - 'now with 75+% more hate!' at July 16, 2013 04:38 PM (/7gW+)

159 "We will be filing a whistleblower action in (Florida's Fourth Judicial District) Circuit Court," said Kruidbos' attorney Wesley White, himself a former prosecutor who was hired by Corey but resigned in December because he disagreed with her prosecutorial priorities. He said the suit will be filed within the next 30 days.

Out freaking standing

Posted by: pep at July 16, 2013 04:38 PM (6TB1Z)

160 Do you have the time? No, but I've got 19 pictures of my kitty taking a poop in a potted plant, want to see? Die.

Posted by: Lincolntf at July 16, 2013 04:39 PM (ZshNr)

161 I don't even bother wearing a watch any more. There are clocks everywhere I look: My computer, my microwave, my phone, my car, etc.

Posted by: rickl at July 16, 2013 04:39 PM (sdi6R)

162 Howard Fineman says the response by the left to the GZ acquittal, was measured.

Posted by: Zombie Speedbump at July 16, 2013 04:39 PM (cjFRv)

163 Popcorn time. CAIR files lawsuit against NSA for spuing on Muslims.

Posted by: RWC at July 16, 2013 04:40 PM (8FeS+)

164 OT: "ORLANDO, Fla. Â— Stand-your-ground laws that allow a person who believes he is in danger to use deadly force in self-defense Â“sow dangerous conflictÂ” and need to be reassessed, Attorney General Eric Holder said Tuesday in assailing the statutes that exist in many states......."

Yes, because people defending themselves from attackers is the biggest cause of gun violence in America!

And then there's this: Â“Stand-your-ground laws license vigilantism and we should all worry about that,Â” said Benjamin Jealous, the NAACPÂ’s president and CEO, after HolderÂ’s speech.

Viginantism. You mean like rioting, beating random white folks, and threatening to harm Zimmerman, his family, and his lawyers?

Posted by: NSA at July 16, 2013 04:40 PM (2mSdf)

165 Spying as well

Posted by: RWC at July 16, 2013 04:40 PM (8FeS+)

166 Fired employee to file lawsuit against Zimmerman prosecutors

Good. There won't be justice in the Zimmerman case until everyone involved in his persecution is unhirable.

Posted by: Methos at July 16, 2013 04:40 PM (hO9ad)

167 If my iWatch were a cock ring, the NSA could give me a hummer when ever they liked.

Posted by: Fritz at July 16, 2013 04:41 PM (G9Mmf)

168 In America, watch watches YOU.

Posted by: Bitter Clinger and All That (Ecclesiates 9:11) at July 16, 2013 04:42 PM (28TG+)

169 Maybe Ace is rocking one of those satellite phones from 1995.

Posted by: Land Sharkelle at July 16, 2013 08:33 PM (r2PLg)

iphones are for those who prefer a straight line for NSA with googly and facebook. Me? Flip-phone I use to call ze peoples.

On the Five today it was discussed, for you iphone ipad ithingies, that your posture is ruined and you will have a turkey neck. #AlexanderGrahamBellHadNoIdea

Posted by: Occupy the toilet at July 16, 2013 04:42 PM (baL2B)

170 *gesticulates wildly"

Posted by: Bernie de la Rionda at July 16, 2013 04:42 PM (V1ZIU)

171 iDontWant.

Posted by: Really at July 16, 2013 04:42 PM (2hpna)

172 CAIR files lawsuit against NSA for spuing on Muslims.

With all the porn we watch, it's hard not to spooge on muslims.

Posted by: Your friendly neighborhood NSA at July 16, 2013 04:43 PM (hO9ad)

173 iWatch? I certainly did. Have a cigar?

Posted by: Bill from Chappaqua at July 16, 2013 04:43 PM (Pr6hk)

174 it's the I-patch.....

Posted by: sven10077@sven10077 at July 16, 2013 08:32 PM (LRFds)

***

Nice, sven! Probably very popular with pirates.

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at July 16, 2013 04:44 PM (pxDth)

175 Yes, because people defending themselves from attackers is the biggest cause of gun violence in America!

We can't have you peons shooting our criminal constituents dead because then it's harder for them to vote for us.

Posted by: Erick Holder, Department of Just-us at July 16, 2013 04:45 PM (hO9ad)

176 157 Once my Beanie Baby collection matures, I've got this life licked! Posted by: Lincolntf at July 16, 2013 08:37 PM (ZshNr) ***** LOL! Dude I got you beat. I waited in the Cracker Barrel parking lot for all the new shipments. I have all the rare ones!

Posted by: Land Sharkelle at July 16, 2013 04:45 PM (r2PLg)

177 Why don't they just re-market the iPhone as the iPocketwatch -

Posted by: phreshone at July 16, 2013 04:45 PM (Pr6hk)

178 But a man with the truth is a majority of one. And my anti-smart-phone position will prevail. As I recall, you were a Rick Perry guy too, amirite?

Posted by: Sean Bannion at July 16, 2013 04:45 PM (J9sum)

179 If you are really stupid, I mean like weapons grade stupid, does having a smart phone help equal the balance? Just askin'.

Posted by: LGoPs at July 16, 2013 04:45 PM (lL1xY)

180 Anyone know of Angela or Bernie are shopping for a book deal? They need to suffer a Paula Deen if they are. And those suing better lay claim to any proceeds if they do snag book deals.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at July 16, 2013 04:45 PM (xywpL)

181 buzz me when they come out with the iVibe

Posted by: Sandra Fluke at July 16, 2013 04:46 PM (Pr6hk)

182 Watches have the inherent problem that looking at the flat part of your wrist for more than 30 seconds physcially hurts people. Really. You have to contort your arm. It's uncomfortable. It's fine for a momentary glance at your wrist. But anything longer and it really sucks. The natural relaxed way human hold their wrists is lik with a game controller. And in the position you only see the curved part by your thumb. Hell it hurts less for long usage to look at the underside of your wrist. And that's why that's where NFL QBs put there play list to read.

Posted by: Flatbush Joe at July 16, 2013 04:46 PM (ZPrif)

183 does anyone know what time it is?

Posted by: rich@gmu at July 16, 2013 04:46 PM (ga+7c)

184 As I recall, you were a Rick Perry guy too, amirite?

That would have worked, if you hadn't stopped me.

Posted by: Egon Spengler at July 16, 2013 04:46 PM (hO9ad)

185 Its 25 or 6 to 4

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at July 16, 2013 04:47 PM (xywpL)

186 A future option is some sort of curved screen tech bracers -- like RPG style.

Posted by: Flatbush Joe at July 16, 2013 04:47 PM (ZPrif)

187 Charge issues? Cheap phones already work on kinetic power. The fancy ones require you to wind the damn thing. And the watch could easily double for phone purposes - you just work a "slap bracelet" mechanism that quickly comes off your wrist and turns rigid for phone use. You don't need much of a touch interface, since Siri can manage most functions. But the damn thing better come with a garrote hidden in the crown!

Posted by: wooga at July 16, 2013 04:47 PM (YaVFD)

188

My grandson is practically welded to his iPhone. He stares at t constantly, even when he is having a conversation.

I thought maybe I could figure out some sort of force field thing which would disable it.

Or maybe I should just tell him to put the damn phone down!

Posted by: Miss Marple at July 16, 2013 04:47 PM (sZGPz)

189 From the picture, they've already got it wrong.

The way the display is oriented, it will be awkward to read.

Most watch orient the readout to be parallel to the wrist band so that it runs lengthwise with your arm.

The picture shows the readout to be perpendicular but then maybe it's an option to display it like that.

Doesn't anyone hire anybody to test their shit anymore? Do they just grab the latest fancy new thing off the engineer's table and run with it without finding out if it's

a) practical
b) needed
c) marketable
d) free of unintended fuckups

I'm a tech and I know that most engineers do not repeat do not live in or relate to the real world. That's why they need techs; to make the stuff work.

Posted by: Bitter Clinger and All That (Ecclesiates 9:11) at July 16, 2013 04:48 PM (28TG+)

190 If you are really stupid, I mean like weapons grade stupid, does having a smart phone help equal the balance? Just askin'.

That's real retarded, sir.

Posted by: Jeanteel Dee-Dee or something at July 16, 2013 04:48 PM (hO9ad)

191

Please wait.....

......upgrading to MirosoftWatch ME....

Please wait....

-----------

What about Bob?

(both puns intended)

Posted by: junior at July 16, 2013 04:48 PM (UWFpX)

192 184 does anyone know what time it is? Does anyone really care about time? Though I can't imagine why....

Posted by: Sean Bannion at July 16, 2013 04:48 PM (J9sum)

193

We can't have you peons shooting our criminal constituents dead because then it's harder for them to vote for us.

***

Yeah. And it makes it harder for them to sit on juries when they're all shot and stuff making it that much harder for us'ns to have a jury of our peers. And stuff like that.

Yeah.

Posted by: LGoPs at July 16, 2013 04:48 PM (lL1xY)

194

I could probably just strap my Kindle on my wrist with a bungee cord and get the same functionality. And I already look like a nerd, so I wouldn't be losing any ground there.

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at July 16, 2013 04:49 PM (pxDth)

195 On the Five today it was discussed, for you iphone ipad ithingies, that your posture is ruined and you will have a turkey neck. ***** Speaker option--for any call longer than a minute--so I'll only have half a turkey neck.

Posted by: Land Sharkelle at July 16, 2013 04:49 PM (r2PLg)

196 Slap a laser pointer feature on the side of that puppy, and play Star Wars all day.

Posted by: Lincolntf at July 16, 2013 04:49 PM (ZshNr)

197 Me and EC can't catch fish. At least there's someone else other than me. Hi EC! I know exactly how you feel right now.

Posted by: L, elle at July 16, 2013 04:49 PM (0PiQ4)

198 Come on, Ace, tell us about the traumatic butt dialing or butt-texting incident that soured you on smart phones.

Posted by: Mama AJ at July 16, 2013 04:50 PM (SUKHu)

199 Mama AJ it was a furry butt photo incident...

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at July 16, 2013 04:50 PM (xywpL)

200 I thought Dick Tracey already did this?

Posted by: Zombie Speedbump at July 16, 2013 04:51 PM (cjFRv)

201 When you want pure portability and unobtrusiveness and a phone and a tiny computer link, you just wear the watch and skip the tablet Except that you also have to carry around a medium-sized microscope so you can actually read the screen.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at July 16, 2013 04:51 PM (MBqvE)

202

I know I'm alone on this. I know that I am isolated in my skepticism-verging-on-antipathy towards the smart phone.

****

I hate smart phones.

Posted by: rich@gmu at July 16, 2013 04:52 PM (ga+7c)

203

I have a sister who not only refuses to have a cell phone, she also refuses to have a computer.

And she purposefully went shopping until she found an old dial telephone, and that is what she has in her home.

I don't do much on my iPhone other than text or talk. I do have an eBay ap for checking prices at auctions. Other than that, it's mostly for safety when I am traveling.

Posted by: Miss Marple at July 16, 2013 04:53 PM (sZGPz)

204 A big advantage of the smartphone vs tablet is it fits in my pocket. Anything bigger than my pocket won't be with me 24/7.

Posted by: Flatbush Joe at July 16, 2013 04:53 PM (ZPrif)

205 You know, you don't have to wear it on your wrist.

Posted by: George Orwell crosseyed and painless at July 16, 2013 04:53 PM (mCNwt)

206 Now if someone invented a phone that used, like, artificial intelligence or sumpin' to make the typical leftist asshole's gibberish sound intelligible and erudite, then maybe you'd have something.

Posted by: LGoPs at July 16, 2013 04:54 PM (lL1xY)

207 I would guess the problem isn't a technical challange like battery power, but requirements definition. I am assuming Apple has dozens of prototypes running already, and need to pick the requirement set the market wants. The hiring frenzy seems to indicate to me that, at some level, a decision has been reached - now they are refining it to Apple's standards.

Posted by: Jean at July 16, 2013 04:54 PM (CMlD4)

208 And the guy means it. He's living totally off the grid. And he's well-armed. Posted by: Jane D'oh at July 16, 2013 08:16 PM (lVPtV) And if he get's hurt?

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at July 16, 2013 04:55 PM (GEICT)

209 The question is are people going to pay data plan rates for a watch? As it is people are always bitching on Cnet how they'd like to have a cell phone without a data plan.

Posted by: Iblis at July 16, 2013 04:56 PM (9221z)

210

I know I'm alone on this. I know that I am isolated in my skepticism-verging-on-antipathy towards the smart phone.

***

Hell, the last time my cell phone died and had to be replaced I made the Verizon guy search the whole store to find a phone that actually had a flip to open/talk capability. I even hate the phones that look like a blackberry. He found the last model they had. When it dies I'm going to revert to using semaphore flags.

Posted by: LGoPs at July 16, 2013 04:56 PM (lL1xY)

211 Reading text would be like reading a newspaper through a straw.

Posted by: ET at July 16, 2013 04:56 PM (YpjaN)

212 Nope. Hate watches, and it won't alleviate the "looking down all the time" syndrome at all.

Posted by: HoboJerky, Hash Hunter at July 16, 2013 04:57 PM (X4HxX)

213 Older people wear watches. They are now relegated to works of art. Older people LIKE big phones they can READ. So you're selling to who?

Posted by: joe dagostino at July 16, 2013 04:57 PM (36L8y)

214 My grandson is practically welded to his iPhone. He stares at t constantly, even when he is having a conversation.

I don't think my niece has made significant eye contact with another human being since 2009.

Posted by: The Third Horseman Of The Apocalypse at July 16, 2013 04:58 PM (uLzrM)

215

Vacation fish count:

EC: 0
Mrs EC: 7

*grumble*

Obviously we need pictures of this mighty victory!

Posted by: Colorado Alex at July 16, 2013 04:58 PM (lr3d7)

216 If this I-watch is a seller it will just confirm my theory that most people are nothing more than trained circus animals.

Posted by: LGoPs at July 16, 2013 04:58 PM (lL1xY)

217 I found an old rotary phone, on eBay.

Posted by: Jean at July 16, 2013 04:59 PM (CMlD4)

218 Older people wear watches. They are now relegated to works of art.
Older people LIKE big phones they can READ.

Newsletter?

Posted by: The Death Panels at July 16, 2013 04:59 PM (uLzrM)

219 And if he get's hurt? Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk
-----------------------------

My MIL grew up poor on a small farm but her husband made good in the 60's.
She says, "In the day, people got sick...they died."

Posted by: Tobacco Road at July 16, 2013 05:00 PM (4Mv1T)

220 EC what kind of fish are you after?

Posted by: Misanthropic humanitarian, now with 50% more sensitivity at July 16, 2013 05:00 PM (HVff2)

221 it could also be they are going to market their TV as iWatch overseas...maybe. Didn't ace have a thread a while ago about how the wrist watch was dieing? Not sure how having a wearable device would be a money maker...will they be able to get phone companies to subsidize half or more of the price?

Posted by: rich@gmu at July 16, 2013 05:00 PM (ga+7c)

222
I waited in the Cracker Barrel parking lot for all the new shipments.

I have all the rare ones!

Posted by: Land Sharkelle at July 16, 2013 08:45 PM (r2PLg)

I think, instead of rioting for Trayvon, we should eat cornbread at Cracka Barrel wearing "I am a CAC" sign. Invade, morons! Eat more cobbler! To the Barrel!

Posted by: Occupy the toilet at July 16, 2013 05:00 PM (baL2B)

223 >>>I made the Verizon guy search the whole store to find a phone that actually had a flip to open/talk capability Prepaid burners are the best option for flip phones.

Posted by: wooga at July 16, 2013 05:01 PM (YaVFD)

224 Obviously we need pictures of this mighty victory! Posted by: Colorado Alex
---------------------
And you know he'll do it. There might actually be fish in it, but I doubt it.

Posted by: Tobacco Road at July 16, 2013 05:01 PM (4Mv1T)

225 that iWatch looks like one of those 10 dollar things my dad used to wear, so he could keep his super-swanky good watch in the drawer. ya know, i'm a mac girl, for home use, but i am so sick of their shit with all these annoying products. ugh.

Posted by: Peaches at July 16, 2013 05:02 PM (8lmkt)

226 Ace of Spades HQ: come for the co-blogs, stay for the year-old technology news better reported by experts on tech blogs!

Posted by: Reina at July 16, 2013 05:03 PM (/FnUH)

227 Obviously we need pictures of this mighty victory!

Posted by: Colorado Alex

http://tinyurl.com/mzddy85

Posted by: GGE of the Moron Horde, NC Chapter at July 16, 2013 05:03 PM (yh0zB)

228 Hate watches, and it won't alleviate the "looking down all the time" syndrome at all.

Posted by: HoboJerky, Hash Hunter at July 16, 2013 08:57 PM (X4HxX)

While I admit to watching too much Raylan on Justified whenever I can...I have to say that I am sort of liking this look on menfolk: white dress shirt, buttoned vest, jeans, and a POCKET WATCH like Boyd.

Posted by: Occupy the toilet may or may not be ChristyB at July 16, 2013 05:04 PM (baL2B)

229 My MIL grew up poor on a small farm but her husband made good in the 60's. She says, "In the day, people got sick...they died." Posted by: Tobacco Road at July 16, 2013 09:00 PM (4Mv1T) Exactly. Which is why I prefer privacy over solitariness.

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at July 16, 2013 05:04 PM (GEICT)

230 209 BC1981,

then he either takes care of himself enough to get to aid or he dies...

you know like we've done it until the last 5 or so generations...

if you learn to be happy with little and get far enough away you may be able to weather the insane asylum we're in....

I know I'd rather die than be part of this Rube Goldberg machine they're building.

Posted by: sven10077@sven10077 at July 16, 2013 05:04 PM (LRFds)

231 Today was ribs cooked on the grill and basted with Lexington Dip, I had never done it this way before and was pleasantly surprised. I have made the decision, Lex Dip is for grilling and Eastern NC sauce is for mixing into the pulled pork. I can see the purists shudder from here...

Posted by: GGE of the Moron Horde, NC Chapter at July 16, 2013 05:05 PM (yh0zB)

232 227 Reina,

I'll go out on a limb and say they weren't mockingly calling it the I-cod

Posted by: sven10077@sven10077 at July 16, 2013 05:05 PM (LRFds)

233 I've got my old flip phone from 2006, and it works great. My work iPhone sucks. Too big for a phone, too small to be useful for much of anything else. I'll keep my flip phone and the iPad. Only use the old laptop when I need to print something, maybe every two or three months.

Posted by: DC in Towson at July 16, 2013 05:06 PM (jIaZt)

234 I have clocks:

on the microwave
on the stove
on the coffee maker
on the computer
on the cell phone
on the Fire
on the cable box
on the TV
and an alarm clock, so I get up on time for work, to pay for all these.

Only three of them re-set themselves when the time changes.

Posted by: Retread at July 16, 2013 05:06 PM (Oz+LZ)

235 234 DC in Towson,

I finally caved and got rid of my old Samsung brick and got a Galaxy...

my Brick survived 2 hurricanes, immersion in motor oil, monsoons, multiple 6 foot falls, 2 moves, and never failed to work if it had power...

this Galaxy S is cranky...dying...big....a battery hog....

yeah it let's me surf the web...

as if I need more access to the web

Posted by: sven10077@sven10077 at July 16, 2013 05:08 PM (LRFds)

236 Clocks for cocks!

Posted by: Lincolntf at July 16, 2013 05:08 PM (ZshNr)

237 Today was ribs cooked on the grill and basted with Lexington Dip, I had never done it this way before and was pleasantly surprised. I have made the decision, Lex Dip is for grilling and Eastern NC sauce is for mixing into the pulled pork. I can see the purists shudder from here...
Posted by: GGE of the Moron Horde,
----------------------------------------

We are not mono-regional here. Now, if you had put vinegar and pepper (Eastern NC style) on the ribs, and Lexington Dip on the ~~pulled~~ CHOPPED pork, we'd have to have a little discussion.

Posted by: Tobacco Road at July 16, 2013 05:08 PM (4Mv1T)

238 Posted by: sven10077@sven10077 at July 16, 2013 09:04 PM (LRFds) *shrugs* I think it's dumb to die of a broken leg when something readily available can save your life.

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at July 16, 2013 05:09 PM (GEICT)

239 Retread at July 16, 2013 09:06 PM (Oz+LZ)
and every time the power goes off, which is every time the wind blows, they all have to be reset.

A serious person would have a Seiko Navigator/Mariner/Chronometer and a short wave receiver to WWV coordinated universal time.

Posted by: Skandia Recluse at July 16, 2013 05:09 PM (tS4tr)

240 Actually, the screen doesn't have to be on all the time. It's easy enough to press a button to see what time it is. The iPod Nano can already be worn as a watch. There are several companies that make watchbands for them. The battery lasts a fairly decent amount of time. I do concede that the battery issue would be great for a smart watch. You might have to charge it daily. That's not really a big deal.

Posted by: Zombie John Gotti at July 16, 2013 05:10 PM (1hekh)

241 Sven- My Galaxy stayed in my pocket. Looked new after 18 months. But it just stopped one day. Lost all my contacts. Back them up if you can. My Blackberry did the same thing before that after 11 months.

Gotta IPhone now. Taking wagers on how long it lasts.

Posted by: Tobacco Road at July 16, 2013 05:11 PM (4Mv1T)

242 Do you have to be gay to wear one?

Posted by: blaster at July 16, 2013 05:11 PM (c28BI)

243 239 BC1981,

You can drive to town on a bum leg...if you have a spouse in a jam they can.

Death is the extreme, I guess what I'm saying BC is these bastards seem bound and determined to force us into a hive....

and I'd rather be isolated remote and poorer than live in 1984.

Posted by: sven10077@sven10077 at July 16, 2013 05:12 PM (LRFds)

244 Posted by: Retread at July 16, 2013 09:06 PM (Oz+LZ) Retread-one clock radio that I have in my living room sets itself and itÃ•s five minutes faster than the others and I canÃ•t change it. I sometimes listen to the radio on the radio instead of on the internet.

Posted by: CarolT at July 16, 2013 05:12 PM (z4WKX)

245 Also not a smart phone guy. The only thing that instills me with enough enthusiasm to keep the dumb phone paid for and charged is the probability that it will be the best tool to have in more types of emergencies than a gun.

Posted by: SpongeBob ReaverSaget at July 16, 2013 05:12 PM (kxSZr)

246 237 LincolnTF,

Hih I'm Bawney Fwank...spokesman for the I-Cod...do people fink you'wa dick....get the I-Cod...

//Bawney

Posted by: sven10077@sven10077 at July 16, 2013 05:13 PM (LRFds)

247 I can see the purists shudder from here...

Posted by: GGE of the Moron Horde, NC Chapter at July 16, 2013 09:05 PM (yh0zB)

fuck those poofters, GGE! you cook, I'll eat . . . that's my motto!

Posted by: Peaches at July 16, 2013 05:13 PM (8lmkt)

248 I think the moron cell-phone/watch war may be winding down, y'all, like a watch that needs winding or a new battery. xoxo

What kind of phone did Diamond Eugene have? What were her apps? Don't answer, you cac's. I sure do hope Drudge puts a new photo on his site toot sweet.

Posted by: Occupy the toilet may or may not be ChristyB at July 16, 2013 05:14 PM (baL2B)

249 Invade, morons! Eat more cobbler! To the Barrel!

Posted by: Occupy the toilet at July 16, 2013 09:00 PM (baL2B)

***

if only one were close by.

Posted by: rich@gmu at July 16, 2013 05:15 PM (ga+7c)

250 >>> You know, you don't have to wear it on your wrist. Word.

Posted by: Flava Flav at July 16, 2013 05:15 PM (JkZhL)

251 Death is the extreme, I guess what I'm saying BC is these bastards seem bound and determined to force us into a hive.... and I'd rather be isolated remote and poorer than live in 1984. Posted by: sven10077@sven10077 at July 16, 2013 09:12 PM (LRFds) Understand. But I think there can be a middle ground. Think of it as the physical application of the spiritual idea of "in the world but not of it".

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at July 16, 2013 05:15 PM (GEICT)

252 Do you have to be gay to wear one? It helps.

Posted by: zsasz at July 16, 2013 05:15 PM (MMC8r)

253 I gave up watches about 2 minutes after I got my first cell phone. Of course, I was never into the swanky watches. If I'm wearing jewelry, all I want is decoration. Fuck function!

Posted by: Peaches at July 16, 2013 05:16 PM (8lmkt)

254 From the picture, they've already got it wrong Yeah, thatÂ’s not a picture from Apple, nor is it a leaked picture of an Apple device. The iWatch has been a rumor, with mockups created by the tech media, for well over a year at this point. Some of the tech media is so invested in it that, despite there being no evidence itÂ’s got a release date, when the rumor clearly hasnÂ’t panned out, they then release rumors that Apple pushed the rumor back. A good place to go to make fun of the Apple rumor mill is the Macalope. Apple might come out with an iWatch, I donÂ’t know. Ah gay-ron-tee it will not look like that.

Posted by: Ace Journalist Stephen Price Blair at July 16, 2013 05:16 PM (CeNUw)

255 This is off topic, but how do you turn in illegals working in your company? It is much harder than I thought.

Posted by: Big Ben at July 16, 2013 05:17 PM (I5Htn)

256 The iWatch reminds me of the Segway.

It will be a special use product, like for heart patients. Some sort of GPS/homing device for Alzheimers patients.
It could be used for ticketing, like for flights or concerts.

Anyway, it's a product in search of a use, like the Segway.

Posted by: CozMark at July 16, 2013 05:18 PM (JeBIy)

257 Word.

Posted by: Flava Flav at July 16, 2013 09:15 PM (JkZhL)

...damn missed it by thatmuch.

Posted by: rich@gmu at July 16, 2013 05:18 PM (ga+7c)

258 HAHHAHAHA! NewsBreaker ‏@NewsBreaker 1m DETAILS: Cuba: Hidden arms on ship in Panama canal are "Cuban weapons on way to No. Korea for repair" http://bbc.in/13NDnnO @BBCBreaking

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at July 16, 2013 05:18 PM (jjvz+)

259 This is off topic, but how do you turn in illegals working in your company? It is much harder than I thought.

well, duh . . . nobody actually cares and they vote 100% correctly.

Posted by: DNC at July 16, 2013 05:19 PM (8lmkt)

260 "How do you turn in illegals working in your company?" Steal their license plates, make them get new ones.

Posted by: Walter Sobchak at July 16, 2013 05:19 PM (LfNtM)

261 249 I think the moron cell-phone/watch war may be winding down, y'all, like a watch that needs winding or a new battery. xoxo What kind of phone did Diamond Eugene have? What were her apps? Don't answer, you cac's. I sure do hope Drudge puts a new photo on his site toot sweet. Posted by: Occupy the toilet may or may not be ChristyB at July 16, 2013 09:14 PM (baL2B) We know at least free bruetoofs

Posted by: RWC at July 16, 2013 05:19 PM (8FeS+)

262 The word "ICE" used to work, but no more.

Posted by: Janet N has skunk hair at July 16, 2013 05:19 PM (baL2B)

263
We know at least free bruetoofs

Posted by: RWC at July 16, 2013 09:19 PM (8FeS+)

Is that an Obronco phone?

Posted by: Janet N has skunk hair at July 16, 2013 05:20 PM (baL2B)

264 It is only a matter of time to first I-Cock Ring!

Posted by: Walter Sobchak at July 16, 2013 05:20 PM (LfNtM)

265 Shit, I actually saw some douchenozzle on a segway in downtown LA yesterday. I was all, wtf???

Posted by: Peaches at July 16, 2013 05:20 PM (8lmkt)

266 That Onion gizmo what sucks your dick is way cooler .

Posted by: Bill D. Cat at July 16, 2013 05:21 PM (0iJzo)

267 if only one were close by. Posted by: rich@gmu at July 16, 2013 09:15 PM (ga+7c) Right off 29 in Little Mexico aka Manassas.

Posted by: RWC at July 16, 2013 05:21 PM (8FeS+)

268 Like I said, I'm going to have my pretty watches made functioning again at the local Batteries Plus.

I don't need the Obama government following my every move through a stupid iWatch.

My husband is so addicted to his fucking iPhone the gubmint knows our every move anyway.

I just want to at least look fashionable when I'm hauled off to The Camps.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at July 16, 2013 05:21 PM (lVPtV)

269 {But, much more importantly, you could start to take real advantage of it. You probably have a year to get your plans into production," he said.}

Lets see... 10 mo to zero-day this thing - its iOS based? Check. I've got your financial transactions? Check. GPS data? Contact list? Calendar? Checkitty-check. Biometric information? Facebook account? Pinterest? LinkedIn? Check. Will it have a fingerprint reader for "security?" Kewl! Depending on the sensor payload, I might be able to infer your EEG or listen to your keystrokes at work. Stalked, impregnated, robbed and seriously pwned? Yew betcha. Wearable computers that are seriously social should be, as Douglas Adams put it, the first ones up against the wall when the revolution comes.

And I say this as a veteran of IT since the epoch. (Duckduckgo it.)

PS - didja hear the one about wifi hacking pacemakers?

Posted by: Jimmy don\'t play that at July 16, 2013 05:23 PM (WrXlZ)

270 "My husband is so addicted to his fucking iPhone the gubmint knows our every move anyway." What difference does it make? They got "Black Boxes" in all new cars, its not like your gonna leave town in secret.

Posted by: Walter Sobchak at July 16, 2013 05:23 PM (LfNtM)

271 Wow. Leo Terrel, loud mouthed African American civil right rights attorney is going absolutely bonkers on Hannity. The interesting and shocking part is he is bashing the shit out of Juan Williams and siding with Zimmerman. Hope. Or sixth sign of the Apocolypse. Wow.

Posted by: fixerupper at July 16, 2013 05:23 PM (IrLKP)

272 Now, if you had put vinegar and pepper (Eastern NC style) on the ribs, and Lexington Dip on the ~~pulled~~ CHOPPED pork, we'd have to have a little discussion.

Posted by: Tobacco Road at July 16, 2013 09:08 PM (4Mv1T)

Nah, that would just be wrong.

fuck those poofters, GGE! you cook, I'll eat . . . that's my motto!

Posted by: Peaches at July 16, 2013 09:13 PM (8lmkt)

H8RZ gonna H8.

Posted by: GGE of the Moron Horde, NC Chapter at July 16, 2013 05:24 PM (yh0zB)

273 Just got home from work. Time for a very large cocktail.

Posted by: Muad'dib at July 16, 2013 05:24 PM (OSARm)

274 Hit Gateway Pundit: Violent Crime Against Whitey Is Up 18% In Last Year

Posted by: DAve at July 16, 2013 05:24 PM (albkL)

275 264 We know at least free bruetoofs Posted by: RWC at July 16, 2013 09:19 PM (8FeS+) Is that an Obronco phone? Posted by: Janet N has skunk hair at July 16, 2013 09:20 PM (baL2B) Don't think they are offered. Of course you can just sell your Obamafos for cash and upgrade to boo-toof.

Posted by: RWC at July 16, 2013 05:25 PM (8FeS+)

276 261 - Walter, no joke on the vehicle licensing. Round here illegal aliens have the run of the place, no police ask for papers. Welfare agents rush one on top of the other to sign them up, nobody asks for papers. But, drive down the street without a current state inspection or registration, police literally rain down out of the trees where they've been hiding (this happened to me. twice) and throw the book at you. They have no concern the twelve guys living in a 2 bedroom down the street have no credentials. but pox on me if my car doesn't.

Posted by: Cowboy at July 16, 2013 05:25 PM (m5TOl)

277 What difference does it make? They got "Black Boxes" in all new cars, its not like your gonna leave town in secret.

Posted by: Walter Sobchak at July 16, 2013 09:23 PM (LfNtM)

Both our cars are so old, they can't find us. (Well, except for the old On Star that my husband refused to renew.)

Posted by: Jane D'oh at July 16, 2013 05:25 PM (lVPtV)

278 They have no concern the twelve guys living in a 2 bedroom down the street have no credentials. but pox on me if my car doesn't.

Posted by: Cowboy at July 16, 2013 09:25 PM (m5TOl)

So if you really want to screw someone's day up you peel the stickers off of their license plates?

Posted by: GGE of the Moron Horde, NC Chapter at July 16, 2013 05:26 PM (yh0zB)

279 274 Just got home from work. Time for a very large cocktail.

Posted by: Muad'dib at July 16, 2013 09:24 PM (OSARm)

If you were down here, I'd make you a lovely Mojito.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at July 16, 2013 05:27 PM (lVPtV)

280 Hello, Casio called from the 1980s and wants its $19.95 calculator watch back. Geeks.

Posted by: Fritz at July 16, 2013 05:27 PM (G9Mmf)

281 Posted by: fixerupper at July 16, 2013 09:23 PM (IrLKP) WHAT???? Going to have to watch the rerun. I can't stand that guy.

Posted by: RWC at July 16, 2013 05:27 PM (8FeS+)

282 Dudes, you never see us wearing 'smart watches' do you? No, we all carry smartphone-ish communicators.

Posted by: Capt. James T. Kirk(Original Series) at July 16, 2013 05:27 PM (RZbqD)

283 >>If you were down here, I'd make you a lovely Mojito.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at July 16, 2013 09:27 PM (lVPtV)<<

And that is why you are my favorite 'ette....

Posted by: Muad'dib at July 16, 2013 05:28 PM (OSARm)

284 What's wrong with Lindsay Graham's head?

Posted by: waldo at July 16, 2013 05:28 PM (cjFRv)

285 My icon thingie is blinking. Pixy is bugged. Repeat. We are being watched right this very second. NSA is watching this thread and has great ideas for earwigs but trial in Peru failed with maggots getting in lady's ear (I am not ever going to a third world country. Nevah, evah, no way. I have heard of cockroaches in ear, but this put me into major freak out today after reading Daily Mail to see if the new prince or princess had been born). #HaveNeverSeenMaggotExceptForAlSharpton

Posted by: ChristyBlinky thinks these phones be ugly and would rather die at July 16, 2013 05:28 PM (baL2B)

286 Going to have to watch the rerun. I can't stand that guy. Posted by: RWC at July 16, 2013 09:27 PM (8FeS+) ---- Trust me. Its worth the watch.

Posted by: fixerupper at July 16, 2013 05:29 PM (IrLKP)

287 @278 They aren't gonna search for anyone anyway. They are going to decrease your standard of living to something near to 18th century and starve you out, so that you go to them.

Posted by: Walter Sobchak at July 16, 2013 05:29 PM (LfNtM)

288 What's wrong with Lindsay Graham's head?

Posted by: waldo at July 16, 2013 09:28 PM (cjFRv)

We've all been wondering the same thing.

Posted by: GGE of the Moron Horde, NC Chapter at July 16, 2013 05:29 PM (yh0zB)

289 >>What's wrong with Lindsay Graham's head?

Posted by: waldo at July 16, 2013 09:28 PM (cjFRv)<<

This could take the whole ONT to explore.

Posted by: Muad'dib at July 16, 2013 05:29 PM (OSARm)

290 And that is why you are my favorite 'ette....

Posted by: Muad'dib at July 16, 2013 09:28 PM (OSARm)

Let me know when you're coming down, darlin'. We'll all go boatin'.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at July 16, 2013 05:29 PM (lVPtV)

291 235 I have clocks: Back when the school was trying to teach the boy how to tell time, I looked around the house and realized that all the clocks were either digital or ran counterclockwise.

Posted by: Anachronda at July 16, 2013 05:29 PM (U82Km)

292 What's wrong with Lindsay Graham's head? *** It's full of crap

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at July 16, 2013 05:29 PM (jjvz+)

293 What's wrong with Lindsay Graham's head? It's empty.

Posted by: zsasz at July 16, 2013 05:29 PM (MMC8r)

294 Posted by: Cowboy at July 16, 2013 09:25 PM (m5TOl) Where are you Cowboy?

Posted by: CarolT at July 16, 2013 05:29 PM (z4WKX)

295 What's wrong with Lindsay Graham's head? He uses too much teeth.

Posted by: John McCain at July 16, 2013 05:30 PM (MMC8r)

296 Don't think they are offered. Of course you can just sell your Obamafos for cash and upgrade to boo-toof.

Posted by: RWC at July 16, 2013 09:25 PM (8FeS+)

I wonder if NSA has a translator spy fluent in moronlish

Posted by: ChristyBlinky thinks these phones be ugly and would rather die at July 16, 2013 05:30 PM (baL2B)

297 What's wrong with Lindsay Graham's head?
--------------------

Word is he give's good he...

Oops. Sorry. I forgot this is an open forum.

Posted by: Tobacco Road at July 16, 2013 05:30 PM (4Mv1T)

298 What's wrong with Lindsay Graham's head? It's empty. Posted by: zsasz at July 16, 2013 09:29 PM (MMC8r) He thinks heÃ•s a Reagan Conservative? HeÃ•s crazy, thatÃ•s what is wrong with his head. Nuts instead of a brain are in it.

Posted by: CarolT at July 16, 2013 05:31 PM (z4WKX)

299 Is that pic of Miss Lindsay a digital merge of his face with Jimmy Carter's teeth?

Posted by: Muad'dib at July 16, 2013 05:31 PM (OSARm)

300 Our military still depends on their watches. Our son has been through three atomic watches.

Gave him a lovely silver medallion with the 23 Psalm on it for Christmas before he went to A-stan.

The chain broke at some point in the dessert. One wonders what someone will do with it if/when they ever find it?

Posted by: Jane D'oh at July 16, 2013 05:32 PM (lVPtV)

301 Northern Virginia at the moment. Once in Alexandria, driving by "the berg" aka the ghetto, a police officer ran out from trees screaming, waving his hands. I stopped, thinking he needed assistance, and said, "Officer, how can I help?" He said, "You can sit tight while I write you up!" Second time same thing happened in Arlington. Lesson learned: never stop to render assistance to police. Fool me twice, never again!

Posted by: Cowboy at July 16, 2013 05:33 PM (m5TOl)

302

Posted by: Capt. James T. Kirk(Original Series) at July 16, 2013 09:27 PM (RZbqD)

****

welcome to the 24th Century.

Posted by: Capt. Picard tapping his cool Star Fleet brooch at July 16, 2013 05:33 PM (ga+7c)

303 One wonders what someone will do with it if/when they ever find it? ---- Sell it to "IED Parts R Us"???

Posted by: fixerupper at July 16, 2013 05:33 PM (IrLKP)

304 Leo Terrel, loud mouthed African American civil right rights attorney is going absolutely bonkers on Hannity.

The interesting and shocking part is he is bashing the shit out of Juan Williams and siding with Zimmerman.

shweet!!!

Posted by: Peaches at July 16, 2013 05:34 PM (8lmkt)

305 Thanks. Now I have the Zany Zappers jingle stuck in my head.

Posted by: holygoat at July 16, 2013 05:34 PM (IGIFh)

306 Sell it to "IED Parts R Us"???

Posted by: fixerupper at July 16, 2013 09:33 PM (IrLKP)

Prolly. If the fuckers can even make out English.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at July 16, 2013 05:34 PM (lVPtV)

307 What's wrong with Lindsay Graham's head?

not encrusted in enough gristle

Posted by: Peaches at July 16, 2013 05:35 PM (8lmkt)

308 >>>If you were down here, I'd make you a lovely Mojito. I love how every pitcher comes out different. I've probably had 50 different versions of mojito without meaning to have more than 5.

Posted by: DC in Towson at July 16, 2013 05:35 PM (jIaZt)

309 Prolly. If the fuckers can even make out English.

Posted by: Jane D'oh
----------------------------

READ? I KEEL YOU!

Posted by: Tobacco Road at July 16, 2013 05:35 PM (4Mv1T)

310 Now that they have flexible screen technology my guess is it will just be an iPhone that wraps around your wrist.

Posted by: Bill Mitchell at July 16, 2013 05:35 PM (vZ9o3)

311 The chain broke at some point in the dessert. One wonders what someone will do with it if/when they ever find it? Posted by: Jane D'oh at July 16, 2013 09:32 PM (lVPtV) since it is A-Stan, they can't read mostly and can't read English more or prolly trade it for a nice goat

Posted by: Jake in ID at July 16, 2013 05:38 PM (IxRjw)

312 READ? I KEEL YOU!

I love you fuckers SO MUCH. Srsly, group hug???

Posted by: Peaches at July 16, 2013 05:39 PM (8lmkt)

313 Reading comments at places I normally don't go, but not liberal sites per se--I think the race uber Alles crowd (and this includes the President) may have suffered a decisive defeat with the Zimmerman affair. You keep people in line through fear, but if you are ruling mainly by fear and not by actual power, you can only push so far. Cut into bone, people notice, pushback. Just as the IRS thing gave Leno the opportunity he desired, the Zimmerman thing, and the continuing desire from the usual supect for further witchunts and showtrials, are going to stiffen a lot of spines. Enough to probably make a difference. 1692 was a bad year, but there never was another one. The race uber Alles crowd needs deference to do what they do. Expects deference. Demands it. Often gets it. They are demanding so right now with the DOJ. When they get sent packing--and they will, at some point--it very well may be a blow they don't truly recover from, because they tried an excommunication too far when the facts did not support. Enough minds will be changed to make a difference.

Posted by: Confucius #2 at July 16, 2013 05:39 PM (Fy9Jg)

314 CAC spaced out post up.

Posted by: Muad'dib at July 16, 2013 05:39 PM (OSARm)

315 I'm not gonna make it to the ONT, so this evening D'oh Boy (who's getting out of the Corps this fall) says,

His hearing is fucked (which he was warned when he went into Motor T before A-Stan). He just wants it to be recorded to he can get VA help.

His teefs are fucked up (never had a filling in his life until going into the military).

He has major back pain which happened in A-stan, and which the military wants to pretend doesn't exist. He's really concerned. Doesn't want to live his life with major, debilitating back pain.

His vision is fucked up. A female Marine loaned him her glasses, and for the first time in ages, he could see distances.

When he exits, I'll fill you guys in on how fucked up things really are in the Age of Obama.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at July 16, 2013 05:41 PM (lVPtV)

316 Cowboy- I would have guessed you were in a border state. IÃ•m sorry VA sucks that much.

Posted by: CarolT at July 16, 2013 05:41 PM (z4WKX)

317 As far as wearable new products, I think we need an "iCup" or "iJockstrap". For the touchscreen, of course.

Posted by: Confucius #2 at July 16, 2013 05:41 PM (Fy9Jg)

318 Right off 29 in Little Mexico aka Manassas.

Posted by: RWC at July 16, 2013 09:21 PM (8FeS+)

****

thanks. might make the drive for breakfest tomorrow morning.

Posted by: rich@gmu at July 16, 2013 05:43 PM (ga+7c)

319 Posted by: Jane D'oh at July 16, 2013 09:41 PM (lVPtV)

Oh, Jane . . . that's awful. D'oh Boy is back in my prayers, starting now. He does know that he is something of a hero to the horde here, right? {{{{{{jane}}}}}

Posted by: Peaches at July 16, 2013 05:44 PM (8lmkt)

320 Peaches, I love you!

Posted by: Jane D'oh at July 16, 2013 05:46 PM (lVPtV)

321 And of course, with an "iJock", you would never really have to request the audience turn their electronic devices to "vibrate"....

Posted by: Confucius #2 at July 16, 2013 05:47 PM (Fy9Jg)

322 Srsly, group hug??? Posted by: Peaches at July 16, 2013 09:39 PM (8lmkt) ---- Suuuuuure.......... I lernt how to hug "properly" a few threads down.....

Posted by: fixerupper at July 16, 2013 05:47 PM (IrLKP)

323 I invented the 'i-Bitch'. Would you like to know how it is made? Sure you do. First i buy a special date-rape drug. It is made from the sweat of Obama. He rarely sweats so this drug is very expensive. The only time he sweats is when he is masturbating. It is very difficult for Obama to come because Michelle only allows him to jack-off to her. So the sweat is harvested. Put in to a capsule. Given only to an American female Democrat. [The drug has no effect on other types of women.] And there you go,,,The i-Bitch.

Posted by: humphreyrobot at July 16, 2013 05:47 PM (EiH7n)

324 When he exits, I'll fill you guys in on how fucked up things really are in the Age of Obama.
Posted by: Jane D'oh
------------------------------------------

Rome's army under Nero.

Posted by: Tobacco Road at July 16, 2013 05:47 PM (4Mv1T)

325 back at ya, Jane . . . when the dadster lied about his age and enlisted in the Navy in WWII, his mom (my awesome gramma) had just spent 500 bucks on his teeth, which was buy-a-house money in those days. First thing the fuckin' navy did was pull out ALL of his teeth and he has had full dentures ever since. My grandmother was fit to be tied, I believe she complained all the way up to the SecNav. It was wrong then, it's wrong now. And, yet, back in the 70s, my cousin was married to an XO on a destroyer and she got her boobs done for 8 bucks a side (implants, very nice work). it's all a fuckin mess, isn't it?

Posted by: Peaches at July 16, 2013 05:50 PM (8lmkt)

326 IÃ•m pissed off again at Mitch McConnell, he gave into Reid, again. HeÃ•s the worse minority leader and Boehner is the worse Speaker. When will they wake up? They are constantly being played and they lose!

Posted by: CarolT at July 16, 2013 05:53 PM (z4WKX)

327 Posted by: Peaches at July 16, 2013 09:50 PM (8lmkt)

OMG. No shit.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at July 16, 2013 05:56 PM (lVPtV)

328 When he exits, I'll fill you guys in on how fucked up things really are in the Age of Obama. Posted by: Jane DÃ•oh at July 16, 2013 09:41 PM (lVPtV Jane, I hope heÃ•s safe and sound now. Thank him from us for serving. Carol

Posted by: CarolT at July 16, 2013 05:57 PM (z4WKX)

329 Hope you're right confucius .

Posted by: awkward davies at July 16, 2013 05:58 PM (WK8VM)

330 When will they wake up?

Carol, the short answer is "when they run out of money." That won't really wake 'em up, but it'll kill the beast. They deserve nothing. They deserve hellfire and brimstone.

Posted by: Peaches at July 16, 2013 05:58 PM (8lmkt)

331 ont's up

Posted by: Peaches at July 16, 2013 06:01 PM (8lmkt)

332 iWatch: doesn't tell you the time, just where the closest clocks are.

Posted by: NayBack at July 16, 2013 06:02 PM (Irq86)

333 If you gotta fingernail sharpened to a micron you might be able to work the iPhone.

Posted by: Corona at July 16, 2013 06:17 PM (fh2Y7)

334 Sorry. iWatch.

Posted by: Corona at July 16, 2013 06:19 PM (fh2Y7)

335 Ace's hatred of new fangled technologies is only surpassed by his hatred of women.

Posted by: Dr Spank at July 16, 2013 06:22 PM (qRasw)

336 I think it's funny how, in light of all the snowden revelations, that people are still thing iwatch is an actual watch.

Posted by: caustic at July 16, 2013 06:26 PM (/b8+5)

337 I've always been a tech junkie but I'm at a loss as to what a superwatch would do for me, unless it activates super powers or lets me summon the Big O.

I had one of the first generation Casio calculator watches and wore them for the better part of two decades as they got more features that were actually useful, such as a phone book and appointment reminders. The last one I bought used flash memory to overcome a great failing of the previous models: losing all data if the battery was changed.

Last year the strap broke off. Not the strap itself but the place where it attached to the watch body. So replacing the strap isn't an option. It's been sitting on my desk ever since. I've rarely missed it. Pulling my phone out of my pocket isn't as convenient but it doesn't come up that often. All of the stuff the watch did is on the phone in far more usable form.

The phone currently is a Galaxy S2. It's far smaller and lighter than the phone I carried for several years, an employer supplied Nextel. For the work I was doing the Nextel's PTT was a wonderful feature and the damn thing was nearly indestructible but I don't miss it. The little LG flip phone I got for myself survived great abuse and probably is still usable but I really needed email and some way to handle text files without lugging a whole laptop around.

Walmart offered a BlackBerry Curve for a price that was hard to beat: free plus a $100 gift card. A huge improvement for keeping connected and having reference info on hand but it had the severe limitation of not having WiFi, which made some functions painfully slow and gave me paranoia about going over my data limit. I held out for a long time because I wasn't going to buy anything from Apple, Android wasn't quite there yet, and windows Phone was very limited in the hardware choices. But finally T-Mobile ran a good promotion to get the S2 free with contract at the same time Samsung confirmed there would be an ICS upgrade.

The Blackberry is still going strong as an audio player and it's sometimes convenient to take notes on it while I'm talking on the Galaxy. It isn't that the Blackberry is better at these things, although I do miss the real keyboard at times, but there is no danger of being without a phone if I run down the Blackberry's battery. So that phone is still plenty useful in a non-phone role.

Posted by: epobirs at July 16, 2013 06:36 PM (kcfmt)

338 Iwatch is stupid. As said upthread the phone already has a watch. I DO wear a watch- a real one. Sometimes it is a WW2 infantry Bulova or a 1938 gold tank Elgin that was given "for 30 years loyal service to Elgin". Think about that the guy started for Elgin in 1918- now I get to wear his watch. Keeps great time. Good old regular wath is an Omega Speedmaster- the one that went to the Moon. No digital crap will ever surpass these pieces of history.

Posted by: free tibet at July 16, 2013 06:56 PM (eYcLs)

339 Meh. Sony has made an Android watch interface for a while now and it's $79 on Amazon. Sadly it's more limited in functionality but I've never even seen one. http://tinyurl.com/lwwy5mv

Posted by: scottst at July 16, 2013 07:06 PM (EMr2t)

340 1948 Elgin- stupid math!

Posted by: free tibet at July 16, 2013 07:11 PM (eYcLs)

341 I still have my '06 candybar style phone mainly because it fits comfortably in my pockets. Original battery still lasts for days. No worries about viruses. Eventually I'll probably get a smartphone (a better camera would be nice), but I'd like to see them smaller. Also the battery needs to be removable.

Posted by: venus velvet at July 16, 2013 08:54 PM (g94P/)

342 Odds are, it won't look like that mockup at all. If I had to guess, it will be more like a smart bracelet than a smart phone. Why? The battery issue. A bracelet design gives more functional space for additional battery.

Posted by: Brian at July 16, 2013 09:09 PM (VjeVY)

343 Cell phones went from large to mirco back to large. Why not just wear your phone on your wrist?

Posted by: sTevo at July 17, 2013 02:46 AM (Ue8+L)

344 98 Ace, I'm a computer guy and here's my take on this. ... The iWatch itself I don't see as a game-changer. At best it would be a "nice to have", not a "must have" sort of item. Also, Android is equally or better positioned to do watch products... and Android watches are already being done. So, Apple will not be able to get first-mover advantage, and the only network effect will be the iWatch riding on the coattails of the iPhone market. I can't imagine Apple is as excited about this as about the iPhone and iPad. As for what you will do with the device, itself: the only thing that makes sense is notifications, ... Posted by: steveha at July 16, 2013 08:18 PM (TMG3G) - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Gentleman, THIS is why the so-called experts are NEVER to be trusted ... I am now at this very moment looking at the *strategic* position my WRIST occupies ... imagine for starters a SIDE mounted camera as opposed to a flat watch-face mounted camera ... this market is RIPE for plucking with the right apps and wrist-mounted hardware to accomplish it ... I have no illusions that I have all the answers, but the possibilities shouldn't be limited by the successes or constraints imagined or projected by the 'experts' in the biz ...

Posted by: _Jim at July 17, 2013 05:25 AM (ilde6)

345
Here is my take:

A smart-watch is limited in that its form factor is way to small to do any kind of typing on it... aside from very slow.. one. letter. at. a. time... input solution. Nor would the screen be big enough to read anything longer than a tweet... so even email is not possible.

But... it could still be great for nuggets of info and micro-apps. Weather, appointment reminder, news ticker, stock quotes, etc. could be very useful and even convince people to leave behind the smartphone (you don't NEED to have the internet accessible 24/7 people!) So this device could make people's lives a lot more convenient by giving them access to most useful info they get from their smartphones... but without the attention-sucking feature of full internet access.

But the most useful feature of all...?

NFC Payments - Being able to hold your wrist out at Starbucks and other places with NFC readers to make quick payments for small purchases would completely replace the fumbling for credit cards in ur wallet each time you want to charge that $4.89 purchase. Have a multi-choice quiz about personal details popup for purchases over $20 and you'd solve the stolen/security issue (voice recognition could also work here).

Posted by: Serious Cat at July 17, 2013 06:52 AM (UypUQ)

346 ... NFC Payments - Being able to hold your wrist out at Starbucks and other places with NFC readers to make quick payments for small purchases would completely replace the fumbling for credit cards ... Posted by: Serious Cat at July 17, 2013 10:52 AM (UypUQ) - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - iRing for that purpose too; You heard it here 1st ...

Posted by: _Jim at July 17, 2013 07:31 AM (ilde6)

347 347 Here is my take: A smart-watch is limited in that its form factor is way to small to do any kind of typing on it... aside from very slow.. one. letter. at. a. time... input solution. Nor would the screen be big enough to read anything longer than a tweet... so even email is not possible. ... Posted by: Serious Cat at July 17, 2013 10:52 AM (UypUQ) - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Not even an ultra-thin keyboard membrane that could be 'unrolled' or unfurled from the 'watch' to allow keying in forty or fifty chars? Please .... don't limit your (or the reader's!) imagination that way ....

Posted by: _Jim at July 17, 2013 07:35 AM (ilde6)

348 What you are describing is an "iScroll" which you might as well detach it from your arm and operate it with two hands. Its supposed to be a watch. And is already at a location on the body that is uncomforatable to hold out in front of you for more than a few moments. Quick-glance info-nuggets is what works on such a device. Not composing an email to your office manager.

Posted by: Serious Cat at July 17, 2013 08:09 AM (UypUQ)

349 350 What you are describing is an "iScroll" which you might as well detach it from your arm and operate it with two hands. Its supposed to be a watch. And is already at a location on the body that is uncomforatable to hold out in front of you for more than a few moments. ... Posted by: Serious Cat at July 17, 2013 12:09 PM (UypUQ) - - - - - Your arms might be really short; Put one of 'em on a table or rest it on one of your legs while they're crossed! Use your I-MAG-I-NA-TION! You're thinking this 'thing' has to be 2 inches from your nose to see and use it!? Not everyone is blind as a bat, yet ... PS. I AM in the market for a smart watch; this, after years of not wearing anything.

Posted by: _Jim at July 17, 2013 02:21 PM (ilde6)

350 Hmmm ... this. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AqtM_f_SaP0 Sooner or later, it's going to happen. Apple prolly figure: "might as well be us." Hmmm?

Posted by: _Jim at July 17, 2013 05:59 PM (ilde6)

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