Ace of Spades HQ

April 25, 2013

Breaking: Kathy Griffin is a Bent, Desperate Hosebeast
— Ace

Via @nkronos.

You kind of have to read this. You don't want to read it, and honestly, you're going to regret reading this. It's going to haunt you until the day you die. When death comes for you, you'll say, "Oh thank God, I'm dying, but at least my nightmares won't be filled with weird Kathy Griffin dirty-talk anymore."

Still and all, you have to read it. I can't even really quote it. I'll give you a keyword to search for: "Wet."

Yeah. It's like that. It's exactly what you think.

I know you don't want to read it. I didn't want to write it.

But we've got a real shit-sandwich on our hands here and we're all just going to have to take a great big bite.

A Video Telling of the Tale: Fred Stoller was on Norm MacDonald's podcast talking about the quivering ball of shot-out nerves and clinging paternal-rejection-complex need we call Kathy Griffin.

Thanks to @jackmcoldcuts for that.

Posted by: Ace at 04:44 PM | Comments (172)
Post contains 178 words, total size 1 kb.

1 Does one even need to read beyond that headline?

Posted by: toby928© Red Partisan at April 25, 2013 04:45 PM (QupBk)

2 I'm scared.

Posted by: EC at April 25, 2013 04:45 PM (doBIb)

3 No link? First?

Posted by: jewells45 at April 25, 2013 04:46 PM (u25eL)

4 Read what?

Posted by: Catmman at April 25, 2013 04:46 PM (C8XlI)

5 Oh fuck you Toby. Dammit.

Posted by: jewells45 at April 25, 2013 04:47 PM (u25eL)

6 Ace.. Survivor??? Please???

Posted by: jewells45 at April 25, 2013 04:47 PM (u25eL)

7 Not going to search, I just ate...

Posted by: Emdoc at April 25, 2013 04:48 PM (oe4oA)

8 No. Fucking. Way.

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at April 25, 2013 04:48 PM (GEICT)

9
I'll take just the gist, if you please.

Posted by: soothsayer at April 25, 2013 04:48 PM (KeJAW)

10 You read it.

I ain't gonna read it.

Hey! Let's get Mikey! He'll read anything!

Posted by: mama winger at April 25, 2013 04:48 PM (P6QsQ)

11 no link? proof that Ace likes us?

Posted by: L, elle at April 25, 2013 04:48 PM (0PiQ4)

12 I'd hit it; better'n batin'

Posted by: Frito Plover, Esq. at April 25, 2013 04:49 PM (TZeFP)

13 this.... and the saudi dude gets a nothingburger ? weak .

Posted by: alec at April 25, 2013 04:49 PM (usWYv)

14 Hello fellow morons! Anything new on the internet to read?

Posted by: poor dumb bastard at April 25, 2013 04:50 PM (PrDJQ)

15 I read that earlier.

I threw up in my mouth

...then the computer...the coffee table...the new carpet...the dog

And then things got bad

Posted by: Albie Damned at April 25, 2013 04:50 PM (Yhu4q)

@11 no link? proof that Ace likes us?

-------------------

Too late. He's got a link now.

But the preview sounds a bit too much like a really bad headline over at Yahoo that I glossed over. I'm not touching that thing...

Posted by: junior at April 25, 2013 04:50 PM (UWFpX)

Wait. Now we have to do our own research to fill out a post here. WTF?

I really need to upgrade to platinum member stat.

Posted by: Some Guy in Wisconsin at April 25, 2013 04:50 PM (q799N)

18 I've already read it. It's worse than you think. Wet. Face Puncher. Man Hater.

Posted by: Does this leg smell gammy? at April 25, 2013 04:50 PM (ijh3y)

19 Meh. So some never-was star talks about tapping some D-List vajayjay. The D-Lister is mad that men like to look at women.

And she wants to hurt the man she had consensual sex with. I mean hurt him more than just having sex with her.

Without the "celebrity" this could have been my marriage...

Posted by: MunDane at April 25, 2013 04:51 PM (33dDY)

20 I'd hit it; better'n batin'

Objection! Facts not in evidence. Also, eww.

Posted by: toby928© Red Partisan at April 25, 2013 04:51 PM (QupBk)

21 oh wait.... links!! Woot!

Posted by: Some Guy in Wisconsin at April 25, 2013 04:51 PM (q799N)

22 Yanno, just the act of googling "Kathy Griffin wet" has made me feel unclean.

Save yourself from a night that is dark and full of terrors. Go to rdbrewer's twitter instead.

Posted by: boulder toilet hobo at April 25, 2013 04:51 PM (QTHTd)

23 ""When death comes for you, you'll say, "Oh thank God, I'm dying, but at least my nightmares won't be filled with weird Kathy Griffin dirty-talk anymore.""

I plan on outliving that seahag.

Posted by: Berserker at April 25, 2013 04:52 PM (FMbng)

24 sorry, it was all so horrible, I didn't include the link the first time. Now it's in there. Do your duty. But don't be a hero. Just get in and get out.

Posted by: ace at April 25, 2013 04:52 PM (LCRYB)

25
Remember: Nancy Pelosi referred to Obamacare as a "Christmas present" for the American people.

Posted by: soothsayer at April 25, 2013 04:52 PM (FC8Yl)

26 That pic of her

Now you know what The Joker looks like without the makeup

Posted by: kbdabear at April 25, 2013 04:52 PM (mCvL4)

27 Wow. Norm is looking a bit...puffy

Posted by: Albie Damned at April 25, 2013 04:52 PM (Yhu4q)

28 I stopped reading drudge because of too much UKmail.

Posted by: sTevo at April 25, 2013 04:52 PM (VMcEw)

29 I'll repeat the same I told Rightwing Sparkle when she asked the Horde what "goatsc.x" was and if she should click on the link.

There are things that once seen, cannot be un-seen.

Posted by: EC at April 25, 2013 04:53 PM (doBIb)

30 I put on my haz-mat suit and clicked. My. Eyes. Will. Never. Be. The. Same.

Posted by: Foghorn Leghorn at April 25, 2013 04:53 PM (n8LUb)

31 I repeat...No. Fucking. Way. You couldn't pay me to read that.

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at April 25, 2013 04:53 PM (GEICT)

32
Did she pee in the bed?

Posted by: soothsayer at April 25, 2013 04:53 PM (Ba6aP)

33 sorry, it was all so horrible, I didn't include the link the first time. Posted by: ace at April 25, 2013 08:52 PM (LCRYB)
Thought it got sequestered.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot Jr. at April 25, 2013 04:54 PM (Y2+2Y)

34 Just get in and get out.

Not even with Porkins for cover.

Posted by: toby928© Red Partisan at April 25, 2013 04:54 PM (QupBk)

35 ace, you think I am going to watch an hour an half, podcast? Cliff notes, baby.

Posted by: Billy Bob, pseudo intellectal at April 25, 2013 04:54 PM (wR+pz)

36 that bad, Albie? Anyone else read it? I think I'll sit out with junior on this one. I don't want to be thinking about Kathy Griffin on my deathbed.

Posted by: L, elle at April 25, 2013 04:54 PM (0PiQ4)

37 I wouldn't fuck her. I wouldn't fuck her with some one else's dick.

Posted by: Jack at April 25, 2013 04:55 PM (Zv1QB)

38 Let's get back to Elvis.

Posted by: dfbaskwill at April 25, 2013 04:55 PM (ndlFj)

39 Re: her pic. I've got a handgun target that looks like that. I always seem to shoot well with that one.

Posted by: Foghorn Leghorn at April 25, 2013 04:55 PM (n8LUb)

40 In other news, DOCTOR Biden put flowers on the ground in Boston (Strong). And I need a beer.

Posted by: Captain Obvious at April 25, 2013 04:55 PM (FmFB3)

41 We shall never speak of this again.

Posted by: Kingon Commander at April 25, 2013 04:55 PM (Zv1QB)

42 So, ace has been hitting the bong and forgot to link to something the morons can read? It's Friday right, shit happens. What?

Posted by: Billy Bob, pseudo intellectal at April 25, 2013 04:56 PM (wR+pz)

43 "I'm wet"

Posted by: Eaton Cox at April 25, 2013 04:56 PM (q177U)

44 Okay.. when does it get good? So far I'm bored to tears.

Posted by: jewells45 at April 25, 2013 04:56 PM (u25eL)

45 With viagra @ about $12 a piece, Griffin wouldn't be worth it.

Posted by: Captain Obvious at April 25, 2013 04:56 PM (FmFB3)

46 Joan Rivers comes off better in this memoir . . .

Posted by: boulder toilet hobo at April 25, 2013 04:56 PM (QTHTd)

47 ace gave you that.

I give you this - http://youtu.be/hCOrB1tYFjw

I. Win. Bitches.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Take us away. at April 25, 2013 04:57 PM (Gk3SS)

48 O/T: Almost as disturbing as Kathy Griffins mud flaps

Calif. bill would let non-citizens serve on juries...

DRUDGE

Posted by: Attila at April 25, 2013 04:57 PM (Cs2tJ)

49 Norm's face is getting almost puffy enough to threaten a run for Senate.

Posted by: somebody else, not me at April 25, 2013 04:57 PM (29vnO)

As bad as it is, you have to read. Do it!

If you don't read about Kathy Griffin, then......the terrorists have won.

Posted by: Reader C.J. Burch writes something stupid.... at April 25, 2013 04:57 PM (Md8Uo)

51 FYI...the Kathy Griffin story is about 49:30 in the Norm podcast

Posted by: Albie Damned at April 25, 2013 04:57 PM (Yhu4q)

52 Damn, Norm MacDonald's face is puffy. Like, a 1.5 Judds puffiness factor.

Posted by: Colorado Alex at April 25, 2013 04:58 PM (lr3d7)

53 One point to point out: Griffin was only 41 at the time. So she was young and inexperienced

Posted by: boulder toilet hobo at April 25, 2013 04:58 PM (QTHTd)

54 If you don't read about Kathy Griffin, then......the terrorists have won.

I will read her obituary. Especially if a chainsaw or wood chipper is mentioned.

Good enough?

Posted by: toby928© Red Partisan at April 25, 2013 04:59 PM (QupBk)

55 Kathy Griffin is a woman? I'm aghast.

Posted by: zsasz at April 25, 2013 04:59 PM (MMC8r)

56 Oops, I didn't watch the video, I read about it earlier today. Still...the horror.

Posted by: Does this leg smell gammy? at April 25, 2013 04:59 PM (ijh3y)

57 Why did Carrot Top straighten out his hair?

Posted by: Dave S. at April 25, 2013 04:59 PM (UvR6d)

58 She is in DailyMail alot. They do not like her, too put it mildly.

Posted by: Waldo Truth at April 25, 2013 04:59 PM (y2XjR)

59 Is there a porno of their date?

Posted by: Lucky Pierre at April 25, 2013 05:00 PM (5fSr7)

60 Ace, you bastard, I was signed on to Google when I searched for Kathy Griffin and the W word.

Now Google thinks I'm the most sick and deviant pervert on the planet.

Posted by: boulder toilet hobo at April 25, 2013 05:00 PM (QTHTd)

I think that the thing that strikes me (and not Kathy) is that sometimes people who are "celebrities" and seem unpleasant and obnoxious.....well, they really are.

How does this so-called woman, so-called "comedian", still have career after all these years?

Posted by: Reader C.J. Burch writes something stupid.... at April 25, 2013 05:00 PM (Md8Uo)

62 Tabbed browsing has revolutionized the internet experience. Discuss.

Posted by: toby928© Red Partisan at April 25, 2013 05:00 PM (QupBk)

I took one for the team and read the story.

Now who's going to pay my hospital bill?

Posted by: Captain Whitebread, Designated Driver at April 25, 2013 05:01 PM (5J54Q)

64 ace gave you that.

I give you this - http://youtu.be/hCOrB1tYFjw

I. Win. Bitches.

*looks down*

Come on....come on....it was Kate Upton! Dammit, I think I'm in some real trouble here....

Posted by: EC at April 25, 2013 05:01 PM (doBIb)

65 I'm wet.

Posted by: Janet Reno at April 25, 2013 05:01 PM (jgnqm)

Mama Winger,

Since ace is tourting us I'm going off topic to say, I planted the roses today, it went OK, one of them had a broken stem (1/3 broke) so hopefully it'll survive.

Posted by: tsrblke (Away) at April 25, 2013 05:01 PM (MA5Bh)

67 How does this so-called woman, so-called "comedian", still have career after all these years?

Posted by: Reader C.J. Burch writes something stupid.... at April 25, 2013 09:00 PM (Md8Uo)

New Years Eve. Blow job. Anderson Cooper.

Posted by: Attila at April 25, 2013 05:01 PM (Cs2tJ)

68 As repulsive as Mr Kathy Griffin's face is, the voice makes brakes worn down to the metal sound like Clair de Lune in comparison

Posted by: kbdabear at April 25, 2013 05:02 PM (mCvL4)

69 Ace is clearly obsessed with Kathy Griffen, what does that mean?

Posted by: tsrblke (Away) at April 25, 2013 05:02 PM (MA5Bh)

70 I'm still laughing over Zero Dark Thirty. Could watch the ending over and over again. When there are Seals calling your name all sexytalk like, do not open the door. I repeat, do not open the door. Uuuu-sam-ma! Uuu-sam-ma!

Posted by: Waldo Truth at April 25, 2013 05:02 PM (y2XjR)

71 Kathy Griffin is the result of an experiment to build a functioning fembot. It failed.

Posted by: zsasz at April 25, 2013 05:02 PM (MMC8r)

72 New Years Eve. Blow job. Anderson Cooper.

Cooper's homosexuality .. . .. So now you know... the REST of the story.

Posted by: boulder toilet hobo at April 25, 2013 05:02 PM (QTHTd)

73 OK, so now we got some shit going on! @54, etc. Ace, who is this c##t Gifford and why a tread on here?

Posted by: Billy Bob, pseudo intellectal at April 25, 2013 05:03 PM (wR+pz)

74 >>>"I'm wet."

Tell the nurse to change your diaper.

Posted by: Lucky Pierre at April 25, 2013 05:03 PM (5fSr7)

75 I see and I raise.

Let's go to the AP!

http://youtu.be/jcNZttHjPmE

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Take us away. at April 25, 2013 05:03 PM (Gk3SS)

76 Norm's podcast is a hour and half long, anybody know where the relative conversation is in it?

Posted by: lowandslow at April 25, 2013 05:04 PM (Fz2C7)

77 >>>ace, you think I am going to watch an hour an half, podcast? the article is at the first link, it's about 400 words long and you only have to read like five sentences in the middle.

Posted by: ace at April 25, 2013 05:04 PM (LCRYB)

78 I'm wet.

Posted by: Tom Sizemore at April 25, 2013 05:04 PM (LCRYB)

79 OK Griffin. She need to be donkey punched.

Posted by: Billy Bob, pseudo intellectal at April 25, 2013 05:04 PM (wR+pz)

80 I ain't gonna read it but fuck Kathy Griffin, that fucking fuckstick dumb bitch fuckass idiot fuck.

Posted by: DangerGirl at April 25, 2013 05:05 PM (GrtrJ)

81 What a hobgoblin...

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at April 25, 2013 05:05 PM (U3VA+)

82 When death comes for you, you'll say, "Oh thank God, I'm dying, but at least my nightmares won't be filled with weird Kathy Griffin dirty-talk anymore." That's where I stopped reading.

Posted by: Phinn at April 25, 2013 05:06 PM (oFH2D)

83 No.

Posted by: USS Diversity at April 25, 2013 05:06 PM (5wHPS)

84 I'd rather look at goatse than read anything involving Kathy Griffin and "wet."

Posted by: DangerGirl at April 25, 2013 05:07 PM (GrtrJ)

85 Who the hell is this guy and is he gay? http://goo.gl/1KyGd

Posted by: Waldo Truth at April 25, 2013 05:07 PM (y2XjR)

86 The actor illustrates the peculiar moment when he picked her up for their first date, 'We stood there not even two minutes deciding what we should do, when she announced, "I'm wet,"' he recalls.

On a date, who buys the Depends?

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at April 25, 2013 05:08 PM (tIStt)

87 O.k. dude, I hurled.

...and not the "I'm in love with that beautiful babe" nervous kind of hurl.

The "Jesus Christ I'm puking up my bloody First Communion" kind of hurl.

Posted by: Garth at April 25, 2013 05:08 PM (FUjuJ)

88 Winston Churchill was a ginger...

Posted by: Waldo Truth at April 25, 2013 05:09 PM (y2XjR)

89 *looks down*

Come on....come on....it was Kate Upton! Dammit, I think I'm in some real trouble here....
Posted by: EC at April 25, 2013 09:01 PM (doBIb)

Oh, darlin' we're just getting started.

Moar AP - http://youtu.be/9U1CIgSLQMM

(I should note these are at least moderately NSFW)

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Take us away. at April 25, 2013 05:09 PM (Gk3SS)

90 I think c*nt p*nt was made up by someone who dated Kathy Griffin

Posted by: Albie Damned at April 25, 2013 05:10 PM (Yhu4q)

91 Every time I put my line in the water I said a Hail Mary, and every time I said a Hail Mary I caught the clap.

Posted by: Fredo Stoller at April 25, 2013 05:10 PM (tIStt)

92 @86 Woman can afford a face lift. Get one.

Posted by: Billy Bob, pseudo intellectal at April 25, 2013 05:10 PM (wR+pz)

93 than read anything involving Kathy Griffin and "wet."

scared straight?

Posted by: boulder toilet hobo at April 25, 2013 05:11 PM (QTHTd)

94 Kathy Griffin is HAWT!

Posted by: Truck Monkey at April 25, 2013 05:11 PM (jucos)

There is a deeper idea here. Almost everything you see on TV is an illusion of some kind. It's not real, and not even close to real. Including "the news".

Kathy Griffin and the ridiculous douche Fred Stoller are part of a big fucking illusion. Sure , they are "real people". But nothing on TV is quite what it seems. They sell you lies and illusions and bullshit. Kathy Griffin keeps showing up on TV because others are pushing her as some kind of "comedian" or controversial "liberated" woman. It's all nothing but a lie. She's nothing but an obnoxious,vacant slut. There is nothing about her that is the least bit interesting.

Everything, almost everything on TV is a fricking lie in a wasteland.

Posted by: Reader C.J. Burch writes something stupid.... at April 25, 2013 05:11 PM (Md8Uo)

96 I just swallowed my vomit. Puked it up again. Then swallowed it all over! Kathy Griffin, wet? Oh, fuck, I'm gonna puke again!!!

Posted by: Mr. Clean at April 25, 2013 05:11 PM (FYvb/)

97 Damn.. Kathy Griffin is one UGLY bitch.

Posted by: jewells45 at April 25, 2013 05:11 PM (u25eL)

98 95 Kathy Griffin is HAWT! Posted by: Truck Monkey at April 25, 2013 09:11 PM (jucos) You are DRUNK.

Posted by: Billy Bob, pseudo intellectal at April 25, 2013 05:12 PM (wR+pz)

99 Too much ZMax microlubricant.

Posted by: LC LaWedgie at April 25, 2013 05:12 PM (0It32)

100 I skipped to the end of the thread.

I have no interest in whatever that complete tramp Griffin says. She is the embodiment of evil, and just typing her last name gave me the creeps.

I will return when there is something that doesn't give me the heebie-jeebies.

Posted by: Miss Marple at April 25, 2013 05:12 PM (GoIUi)

101 I'm wet..

...can someone run out and get me a new box of Depends?

Posted by: Helen Thomas at April 25, 2013 05:13 PM (Yhu4q)

102 I'm wet, too----with vomit

Posted by: freeTibet with purchase of equal or greater value Tibet at April 25, 2013 05:14 PM (quLHy)

103 Okay, yeah, that was horrible. Thanks for making me read that. I feel very unclean now.

Posted by: MaxArtifice at April 25, 2013 05:14 PM (uonlI)

104 95 Kathy Griffin is HAWT! Posted by: Truck Monkey at April 25, 2013 09:11 PM (jucos) You are DRUNK. Posted by: Billy Bob, pseudo intellectal at April 25, 2013 09:12 PM (wR+pz) ---------------------------------------------------- No I meant HAWT as in I'd like to light her on fire.

Posted by: Truck Monkey at April 25, 2013 05:14 PM (jucos)

105 Gee.. I hope Maet puts up another early ONT.. this thread is dying a painful death.

Posted by: jewells45 at April 25, 2013 05:14 PM (u25eL)

106 Is it bigger than a bread box?

Posted by: tasker at April 25, 2013 05:15 PM (r2PLg)

107

I'm sure, if given the opportunity, Kathy Griffin would publicly defend Kermit Gosnell. She is a waste of skin.

And don't doubt that there are other "celebrities" that would do the same.

Posted by: Reader C.J. Burch writes something stupid.... at April 25, 2013 05:15 PM (Md8Uo)

108 Read the story, now where's that drill?

Posted by: Blanco Basura at April 25, 2013 05:15 PM (xKC/c)

109 I did not read it. Cannot stand one more thing that will rock my fraying thread of sanity. Have a zit from Dove chocolate stress over dosage (or toxins) in the past week of finding terrorists and monitoring world. I am pure at heart and high on polymer resins of botched bathroom remodel, and totally looking forward to refinishing man's return in the early morning.

Husband and one son assure me I am not living in a poisonous environment from this "remodel" and toxic gas. Like this administration's story on Benghazi, I do not believe them but play along, waiting patiently, to replace counters that are messed up with something else probably emitting rays of radiation.

I am not sure why I am so freaked out, because, as a child, I played in pink fiberglass (thinking: cotton candy in new attic!) and clouds of DDT (riding bikes after mosquito man each summer...which we looked forward to as much as the ice cream man. This is what we did in the South...my Mama just said to stay on the sidewalk. Heck, I probably ate ice cream while riding my bike through DDT clouds). So, what's a few more liver/lung whatevah cells in body living in toxic dump of home? I swim, regularly and happily, in chlorine poisonedwater.Perhaps one day I will just vaporize into a mist from all these chemicals. One can only hope the white wine I daintily chugged has some type of antidote.

Sadly I will probably never see my interior designin' plans to fruition, as in one month I will be in Paris dealing with youths on subways. I have studied the Navy lady's response to attack in Dubai in prior story. I know French for "call police" and other worthless sayings, in including "leave me alone!" for the little children pick-pockets. This and Kinsey's moves on CSI-LA are all stored away in my toxic brain for the next Griswold vacation, The Escape From Toxic Home.

Posted by: ChrisyBlinky, Sarcastic, Radicalized Redneck Queen needs more proof at April 25, 2013 05:16 PM (baL2B)

110 Do you have to be in it, before you can know what it is?

Posted by: tasker at April 25, 2013 05:16 PM (r2PLg)

111 She is weapons grade nasty..

Posted by: Jmel at April 25, 2013 05:16 PM (9tSXa)

112 Click the link or I shoot this puppy.

Posted by: Wonkish Rogue at April 25, 2013 05:16 PM (dvRYt)

113 You know what this thread needs don't you?

Posted by: jewells45 at April 25, 2013 05:17 PM (u25eL)

114 Shame on Stoller for putting himself in that position. The guy's on TV and he decides to go on a date with her? She's the best he can do? He could have flashed an ounce of self-respect and hired a Craigslist prostitute instead. But, no. Yes, she's a hosebeast. However, unless he's deaf and blind, he has no one to blame but himself.

Posted by: Joejm65 at April 25, 2013 05:17 PM (UZuc4)

115 cowbell?

Posted by: boulder toilet hobo at April 25, 2013 05:17 PM (QTHTd)

116 65 I'm wet.

Posted by: Janet Reno at April 25, 2013 09:01 PM (jgnqm)

Are you kidding? I'm fuckin' DRENCHED, baby

Posted by: Helen Thomas at April 25, 2013 05:17 PM (BBWjt)

117 I'd hit it.

Posted by: palin steele at April 25, 2013 05:18 PM (BBWjt)

118

Erm... nope. One of the more annoying aspects of Kathy Griffin is that I used to get her confused with Vicki Lewis, who was soooooo friggin' hawt in News Radio.

How dumb is that?

Posted by: Pug Mahon at April 25, 2013 05:18 PM (6rcHp)

119 You know what this thread needs don't you? Posted by: jewells45 at April 25, 2013 09:17 PM (u25eL) --------------------------------------------------------- KATE UPTON!!!!!

Posted by: Truck Monkey at April 25, 2013 05:18 PM (jucos)

120

I was gonna say flame war. It's been awhile and I suck at it.. but I have fun watching everyone else.

Posted by: jewells45 at April 25, 2013 05:19 PM (u25eL)

121 Is that the wife on Family Guy?

Posted by: Knave at April 25, 2013 05:19 PM (cipri)

122 Stop thinking with your dick Truck Monkey.

Posted by: jewells45 at April 25, 2013 05:19 PM (u25eL)

123 He could have flashed an ounce of self-respect and hired a Craigslist prostitute instead.

It was 1992. No Craigslist. No internet, really, unless you had privileges to a BBS or a university. And she was 31 then.

Posted by: boulder toilet hobo at April 25, 2013 05:19 PM (QTHTd)

124 'Burn it with fire'

Posted by: cornelius at April 25, 2013 05:20 PM (Jsiw/)

125 I met her a long time ago. I think it was in 1988. All I remember is all that red hair and that she worked or was studying at the Groundlings. And the voice -- she wouldn't shut the fuck up. I thought she was tweaking.

Posted by: Waldo Truth at April 25, 2013 05:20 PM (y2XjR)

126 124 Stop thinking with your dick Truck Monkey. Posted by: jewells45 at April 25, 2013 09:19 PM (u25eL) ******* You do know what site you are on, right?

Posted by: tasker at April 25, 2013 05:20 PM (r2PLg)

127 Oh, darlin' we're just getting started. *looks down* Thank you doctor alex! I'm feeling much better now.

Posted by: EC at April 25, 2013 05:21 PM (doBIb)

128 I once jerked off into Kathy Griffin's mouth as she ground her gash into my bicycle seat. True story...

Posted by: Charles Johnson at April 25, 2013 05:21 PM (A71EA)

129 I'm not touching that thing... That's wise. I've hit worse...I've hit better, but I ain't hitting that. 114 Click the link or I shoot this puppy. Go ahead, make my day!

Posted by: I R A Darth Aggie © at April 25, 2013 05:21 PM (BDH94)

130 Tweaking what?

Posted by: jewells45 at April 25, 2013 05:21 PM (u25eL)

131 So, spoilers, the story is how Kathy Griffin, pre-fame, threw herself at Fred Stoller (skinny, pencil-necked, whiny comic). She doesn't play hard to get at all -- announcing she's wet at the start of the first date and then demanding she by allowed to hit him in the face during sex cause she hates men cause they look at porn. Stoller talks about how he has a thing for curly red heads and how he didn't actually bang Griffin because he loses his erection every time he puts on a condom and ends up just mashing his rapidly deflating dick against her vagina like an accordion and then gets all butthurt when then chicks try and comfort him for his floppy dick. He does say his dick sometimes works with a condom but only if the chick is super-lubed, ultra-wet and he can get in quick before the deflating starts. Any labial resistance and it's pretty much game over. Apparently Griffin, though wet, was not wet enough - hence the accordion cock. Stoler talks about he hates AIDS cause that made him wear condoms and he hates condoms cause they break his dick. Norm agreed that AIDS sucks. Stoller also said he tried to date the redhead from NewsRadio, but she was living with Nick Nolte in a mansion and wasn't interested in either his apartment or his flaccid, labia-challenged cock.

Posted by: Flatbush Joe at April 25, 2013 05:22 PM (R+6Q+)

132 You know what this thread needs don't you?

Posted by: jewells45 at April 25, 2013 09:17 PM (u25eL)

Brain-bleach?

Posted by: antisocialist at April 25, 2013 05:22 PM (eGr8Z)

133 124 Stop thinking with your dick Truck Monkey. Posted by: jewells45 at April 25, 2013 09:19 PM (u25eL) ------------------------------------------------------- It has produced some of my best work.

Posted by: Truck Monkey at April 25, 2013 05:22 PM (jucos)

134 I bet there is a run on home made Neuralizers right now.

Scotch or whiskey. Name your liver rot.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at April 25, 2013 05:22 PM (U3VA+)

135 'the horror,the horror'

Posted by: cornelius at April 25, 2013 05:23 PM (Jsiw/)

136 Brain-bleach?

Having read Flatbush Joe's latest, there might not be enough on hand around here.

Posted by: boulder toilet hobo at April 25, 2013 05:23 PM (QTHTd)

137 Incidentally, now that Ive clicked the link and have the image of Kathys moist Sarlaac forever seared, anyone kniw a quick means of summoning Gozer the Gozerian? Choose the form of the Destructor!!!

Posted by: Wonkish Rogue at April 25, 2013 05:23 PM (dvRYt)

138 KATE UPTON!!!!! Someone I could hit and not feel too much guilt.

Posted by: I R A Darth Aggie © at April 25, 2013 05:24 PM (BDH94)

139 excuse me?

Posted by: Charles Johnson at April 25, 2013 05:24 PM (A71EA)

140 125 It was 1992. No Craigslist. No internet, really, unless you had privileges to a BBS or a university. And she was 31 then. Posted by: boulder toilet hobo at April 25, 2013 09:19 PM (QTHTd) Good point. I missed that. Let me rephrase: he could have flashed an ounce of self-respect and killed himself. Also, isn't this the woman who had a fling with Bristol Palin's baby daddy?

Posted by: Joejm65 at April 25, 2013 05:24 PM (UZuc4)

141 I think the casting couch puked back then too.

Posted by: seamrog at April 25, 2013 05:24 PM (LxoUJ)

142 Flatbush.. Good Christ I needed a good laugh. That was awesome.

Posted by: jewells45 at April 25, 2013 05:24 PM (u25eL)

143 Stoller also said he tried to date the redhead from NewsRadio, but she was living with Nick Nolte in a mansion and wasn't interested in either his apartment or his flaccid, labia-challenged cock.

Now why couldn't Ace have given us this? So many eyes could have been spared.

Posted by: toby928© Red Partisan at April 25, 2013 05:24 PM (QupBk)

144 OK so the NY Jets trade away the best Cornerback in the world, certainly the best in the NFL today, and then draft an unproven kid with the 9th pick in the draft????????? What sense does that make? Same old Jets

Posted by: Nevergiveup at April 25, 2013 05:25 PM (9Bj8R)

145 115 You know what this thread needs don't you? Posted by: jewells45 at April 25, 2013 09:17 PM (u25eL) ----- Sacred honor compels me to tell you that....yep, we bumped uglies!

Posted by: Will Folks at April 25, 2013 05:25 PM (UvR6d)

146 *looks down*

Thank you doctor alex! I'm feeling much better now. Posted by: EC at April 25, 2013 09:21 PM (doBIb)

Glad I could help.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Take us away. at April 25, 2013 05:25 PM (Gk3SS)

147 Having read Flatbush Joe's latest, there might not be enough on hand around here. More Val-U-Rite, por favor.

Posted by: I R A Darth Aggie © at April 25, 2013 05:26 PM (BDH94)

148 Stroller never heard of Viagra?

Posted by: EC at April 25, 2013 05:27 PM (doBIb)

149 Old Norm looks lie he's enjoying the double helpings of steak these days. Glad to see I'm not the only one from that era.

Posted by: Up with people! at April 25, 2013 05:27 PM (FmFB3)

150 Glad I could help. Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Take us away. at April 25, 2013 09:25 PM (Gk3SS) So, since you have not responded to my last video response....VICTORY!

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at April 25, 2013 05:28 PM (GEICT)

151 139 KATE UPTON!!!!! Someone I could hit and not feel too much guilt. Posted by: I R A Darth Aggie Â© at April 25, 2013 09:24 PM (BDH94) If Kate would make sex with me, I'd let her punch me in the face and take pictures of my bruises and post them on the intewebs. And so would most of you. Because, proof.

Posted by: Joejm65 at April 25, 2013 05:28 PM (UZuc4)

152 Kathy Griffin is a man hating bitch who buys into all the womyn's crap about all men being rapist pigs. Never saw that coming.

Posted by: nerdygirl at April 25, 2013 05:29 PM (Fc8Zx)

153

@97 (Mr. Clean): "I just swallowed my vomit. Puked it up again. Then swallowed it all over! Kathy Griffin, wet? Oh, fuck, I'm gonna puke again!!!"

http://tinyurl.com/cg8sh2s

Posted by: Fa Cube Itches at April 25, 2013 05:32 PM (FsqHK)

154 It is now time for "Boulder Hobo's Math Hour!"

K G was 31, back in 1992. Her current flame she's with, Randy Bick, is 33. How old was Randy Bick in 1992?

Posted by: boulder toilet hobo at April 25, 2013 05:32 PM (QTHTd)

155 Sacred honor compels me to tell you that....yep, we bumped uglies!

Posted by: Will Folks at April 25, 2013 09:25 PM (UvR6d)

You slept with Fred Stoller? Poor guy.

Fred, that is.

Posted by: Blanco Basura at April 25, 2013 05:33 PM (xKC/c)

156 Of course there's the Daily Mail's birthday pic of Katherine Webb.

Posted by: cornelius at April 25, 2013 05:34 PM (Jsiw/)

157 134 124 Stop thinking with your dick Truck Monkey.
Posted by: jewells45 at April 25, 2013 09:19 PM (u25eL)

-------------------------------------------------------
It has produced some of my best work.

Posted by: Truck Monkey at April 25, 2013 09:22 PM (jucos)

We agree!

Posted by: Truck Monkey's 372 Illegitimate Children at April 25, 2013 05:37 PM (BBWjt)

158 Thanks Ace, my day, no week no life is complete after reading this. Aaarrrrgh

Posted by: Misanthropic humanitarian at April 25, 2013 05:37 PM (HVff2)

159

American culture was at one time not something in Petri dish.

Between Washington , D.C. and Hollywood, we are surrounded by scum

Posted by: seamrog at April 25, 2013 05:37 PM (LxoUJ)

160 I usually stay away from the crazy eyes ones no matter how hot they are. Griffin makes that decision easier.

Posted by: @PurpAv at April 25, 2013 05:37 PM (/gHaE)

161 Did anyone click the link? I did, because I'm an idiot. The most important thing I learned is that Brooke Shields is still a fox.

Posted by: DC in Towson at April 25, 2013 05:37 PM (jIaZt)

162

@159 (seamrog): "Between Washington , D.C. and Hollywood, we are surrounded by scum."

*blush*

Aww, g'wan you old flatterer, you.

*traces tip of toe in sand*

*flutters eyes*

*makes duckface*

Posted by: The Jersey Shore at April 25, 2013 05:39 PM (FsqHK)

163 I met Brooke Shields during her heyday and wasn't impressed. Tall chick with a unibrow. Rate her a 6 out of 10. Quite a bitch too. What a surprise.

Posted by: seamrog at April 25, 2013 05:41 PM (LxoUJ)

164 Well this links to the Daily Mail piece

http://tiny.cc/qak4vw

Posted by: cornelius at April 25, 2013 05:41 PM (Jsiw/)

165 The only way Kathy Griffin would get anything from me would be when she's prostrate over the toilet bowl, Lysol in hand, nekkid and rubbered up.

Don't look back.

Posted by: Fritz at April 25, 2013 05:44 PM (gyDll)

166 Woman can afford a face lift.

Get one.

She already *had* one. Now, excuse me while I claw my eyes out.

Posted by: Additional Blond Agent at April 25, 2013 05:51 PM (FvyJS)

167 "Any labial resistance and it's pretty much game over." ----- Sounds like our national counterterror efforts under Obama excluding his extended mix TD dance on Bin Laden's grave.

Posted by: Beagle at April 25, 2013 05:53 PM (sOtz/)

168 I find Norm quite funny. Maybe just his persona.

Posted by: Baldy at April 25, 2013 06:03 PM (opS9C)

169 Did Norm McDonald go botox?!?!?!?!?!?

Posted by: theworldisnotenough at April 25, 2013 07:06 PM (QYlN7)

170 I'm not clicking and you can't make me.

Posted by: Synova at April 25, 2013 07:27 PM (7/PU+)

171 What, no Levi Johnston jokes? He's probably still hitting that.

Posted by: Bob Boy at April 25, 2013 08:50 PM (LSsdb)

172 How hard up for cash do you have to be to have sex with Kathy Griffin? If you've hit that low, you can shell out the 20 bucks.

Posted by: EnochF at April 26, 2013 08:37 AM (P/KfY)

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