Ace of Spades HQ

October 19, 2013

Confessions of Ignorance: Stuff You Only Learned Embarrassingly Late in Life
— Ace

I have a bunch of these, many of which are sadly documented on the blog. Such as my great delight in discovering that C.S. Lewis first wrote "When I became a man, I put away childish things," but then being informed that his origination of this statement was slightly disputed (by, like, the Bible).

One that I've never actually gotten straight is "East/West." To me, East means "near the Atlantic," so if you say "East Africa," my eyes go right to the West coast of Africa. Every time.

What about you?

Posted by: Ace at 04:05 PM | Comments (419)
Post contains 113 words, total size 1 kb.

1 First?

Posted by: EC at October 19, 2013 04:07 PM (doBIb)

2 I recently learned I give women too m any orgasms. It's shame I try to live with.

Posted by: Dr Spank at October 19, 2013 04:07 PM (qRasw)

3 Just figured the lyrics to a Ten Years After song. Heard it a million times. "I would love to change the World". Learned it here. Fuck yeah.

Posted by: nip at October 19, 2013 04:08 PM (jI23+)

4 My down-covered cheeks turned bright pink when I first discovered that Obama is a Stuttering Clusterfuck Of A Miserable Failure.

Posted by: WaitingForMartel at October 19, 2013 04:09 PM (hir7W)

5 Every time a thread like this comes up, all the things I learned that I could post here instantly flee my brain.

True.

Once I was in a huge (several story) bookstore in London, and when I walked in the door I could not think of a single book or author to look for.

Posted by: Null at October 19, 2013 04:10 PM (xjpRj)

6 That's too many orgasms.

And I always thought the line in Bennie and the Jets, "she's got electric boots a mohair suit", was electric boots and a mohawk too.

Posted by: Dr Spank at October 19, 2013 04:11 PM (qRasw)

7 I used to pronounce patronize with a short a (like pat). In fact, as am obnoxious joke, I used to correct people in an extremely patronizing voice if they had the long a. A Harvard educated friend pointed out that it is a long a. I felt like a real jackass

Posted by: ted at October 19, 2013 04:13 PM (Z18Y2)

8 I, ummmmmmm, have a problem. With my states.

Posted by: Preznit Urkel X at October 19, 2013 04:13 PM (jucos)

9 Latitude vs Longitude.

50% chance of getting it right, but fail nearly every time when needed.

Posted by: TXMarko at October 19, 2013 04:13 PM (Tvq0W)

10 I was convinced veal was baby lamb for most of my life. I distinctly remember (incorrectly) correcting several people about it.

Posted by: Flatbush Joe at October 19, 2013 04:14 PM (ZPrif)

11 How was I supposed to know that I should have been proud of my country all along? I blame it on racism.

Posted by: Michelle Ob... just Michelle at October 19, 2013 04:14 PM (hir7W)

12 The only one I have a problem with is : "Western Pacific". Two blinks to orient (no pun intended) myself, then I'm okay.

Posted by: Old Fart at October 19, 2013 04:14 PM (fX9XS)

13 Electric boots? You mean it's not: "she's got electric boobs?"

Posted by: wooga at October 19, 2013 04:14 PM (jgnqm)

14 I pretty much know everything..... True story.

Posted by: Joey Biden at October 19, 2013 04:14 PM (jucos)

15 That I and the Republican party are aligned politically.

Posted by: Buck Farack, Gentleman Adventurer at October 19, 2013 04:14 PM (ylG8S)

16 I mean *not* aligned.

Posted by: Buck Farack, Gentleman Adventurer at October 19, 2013 04:15 PM (ylG8S)

17 For the longest time I threw a baseball like the sissiest sissy from the sissy part of France.

Posted by: Barry Ob... just Barry at October 19, 2013 04:16 PM (hir7W)

18 I seriously still have a problem mispronouncing "nuclear" as "nucular". And it's not a cultural thing, as my brothers all mock me for it. So i learned to just say "nukes" only.

Posted by: wooga at October 19, 2013 04:17 PM (jgnqm)

19 I learned too late that, because of Simba, I will never be king.

Posted by: scar at October 19, 2013 04:17 PM (agLwc)

20 >>>Heard it a million times. "I would love to change the World". i'm sympathetic to misheard lyrics problems, but what did you think it was? Seems pretty clear to me.

Posted by: ace at October 19, 2013 04:17 PM (/IWYB)

21 "One that I've never actually gotten straight is "East/West.""

That's more of a mind blockage, you've been taught what east and west is lots of times, but for some reason the mind slips up and doesn't place it in your memory. I think we all have something similar, for some reason some simple thing doesn't lock in.

Posted by: lowandslow at October 19, 2013 04:17 PM (IV4od)

22 I was stunned to learn that W was not the cause of the last Ice Age. Even though the Goracle said so...

Posted by: itchytriggerfinger at October 19, 2013 04:17 PM (2KFyP)

23 I just realized that Paste is not one of the food groups.

Posted by: Joey Biden at October 19, 2013 04:17 PM (jucos)

24 I know how to maintain a proper party buzz. I am proud of it though, also learned it early.

Posted by: nip at October 19, 2013 04:18 PM (jI23+)

25 Here's something too few people know: uphill has the right of way. I have a steep hill near me. The street is narrow and there is parking on only one side of the street -- the down hill side. However, there are four drive ways and additional space if people aren't parked on the street. Yet, some fuckers can't figure out that all they have to do is slightly pull there car over into the free areas and let a person who does have the right away pass. This dumbass woman wanted me to back down half the block b/c she was too lazy or stupid to pull over. I kept yelling at her to just pull over a bit. She kept yelling I was selfish. She said her car was too big. Oh boo hoo hoo! She doesn't have to park all she has to do is just pull over a foot. After I get by her, there is another dumbass woman and a third with the same inability to drive. I've been going up and down this hill for 25 years. I know it ain't me.

Posted by: Jesse Pinkman, PhD Bitches! at October 19, 2013 04:18 PM (As/N8)

26 the correct pronunciation of 'archipelago'. I heard if from my 19th grade teacher, with the "ch" like church, instead of the hard "c" as in architect. I was in my mid-thirties when I was corrected by a friend.

Posted by: museisluse at October 19, 2013 04:18 PM (HBhZC)

27 > 23 I just realized that Paste is not one of the food groups
but boogers are

Posted by: Joey Biden at October 19, 2013 04:20 PM (hir7W)

28 How about when the limeys call the arabs "asians." lol

Posted by: Jesse Pinkman, PhD Bitches! at October 19, 2013 04:20 PM (As/N8)

29 Hey Scar, You were born in Africa, if you get an international scholarship at Harvard you can be POTUS. That's better than being King of the Jungle.

Posted by: Madamex at October 19, 2013 04:20 PM (islXR)

30 9 Latitude vs Longitude.

50% chance of getting it right, but fail nearly every time when needed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Nuns told us to think of it as Flatitude...the lines are flat, like a table. Hope that helps. It werks fer me.

Posted by: Sister Mary Catherine at October 19, 2013 04:20 PM (vbnHZ)

31 I'm still not sure how to correctly pronounce "meme", so I don't use the word in conversation.

Posted by: lowandslow at October 19, 2013 04:20 PM (IV4od)

32 He learned too late that Man is a feeling creature, and because of it, the greatest in the Universe.

Posted by: Peter Graves at October 19, 2013 04:20 PM (mTORe)

33 Not me, but the wife. Since I met her, every time I said "Clinton", I used the pronunciation from the Kang and Kodos episodes from the Simpsons. They use to say Clin-TON with the accent on the second syllable. My wife thought I was using a Canadian pronounciation and always corrected me. She did not believe me when I told her I was doing it like the aliens did on the Simpsons.

Posted by: EC at October 19, 2013 04:20 PM (doBIb)

Long division

changing oil

how to cook an artichoke

Posted by: burmatar at October 19, 2013 04:20 PM (maI4C)

35 NEWS - North East West South bitches.

Posted by: UWP at October 19, 2013 04:20 PM (fdXMW)

I just found out today Holland Oates is actually 2 guys.

Posted by: Jay in CDA (go Tigers) at October 19, 2013 04:21 PM (+qoI9)

37 I learned recently that the phrase "You must be a lot of fun at parties" was actually sarcasm.

Posted by: drunken angry politics arguer at October 19, 2013 04:22 PM (agLwc)

38 And by "he" I of course mean that pickle from Venus that almost conquered the world.

Posted by: Peter Graves at October 19, 2013 04:22 PM (mTORe)

39 I've started to confuse mind-boggling with mind-bottling because of Blades Of Glory.

Posted by: Dr Spank at October 19, 2013 04:22 PM (qRasw)

40 "Seems pretty clear to me." I am more Groove oriented. I was hearing: "I looove yooouuu", then hearing guitar. I like guitar. And paste.

Posted by: nip at October 19, 2013 04:22 PM (jI23+)

41 I learned from That Thing You Do that "Beatles" was a play on the word "beat". If I thought about it at all previous to that, I figured it was some archaic Englishy spelling, like "compleat".

Posted by: Waterhouse at October 19, 2013 04:22 PM (QTMV/)

42 .jpg does not actually stand for "Japanese girl"

Posted by: burmatar at October 19, 2013 04:23 PM (maI4C)

43 Read unit cost labels. The "large economy size" sometimes isn't compared to buying an equivalent amount of the smaller ones.

If doing something where it can be isolated into independent hard and easy parts, ALWAYS do the hard part first. You already got over the inertia hump by just beginning the job, so leverage that inertia to get you through the worst part as well.

If you do the easy part first, dread of the hard part will lead to procrastination and non-completion.

Posted by: Purp[/i][/b][/u][/s] at October 19, 2013 04:24 PM (l5zzX)

44 I'm embarrassed that it took me so long to realize that the Constitution is just for show.

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at October 19, 2013 04:24 PM (GEICT)

45 I was unaware until last year that the reason there are so many "Castlevania" and other assorted vampire characters named "Alucard" is because it's "Dracula" spelled backwards.

Posted by: SparcVark at October 19, 2013 04:25 PM (D9m5h)

46 That when people say they want the truth.... They really don't.

Posted by: wooga at October 19, 2013 04:25 PM (jgnqm)

47 I still don't know why farts smell worse in the shower.

Posted by: Joey Biden at October 19, 2013 04:26 PM (jucos)

48 I still fuck up my right and left. It's true. Forty-what-fcuking-ever years old and I still have to stop and think about it. I do a quick mental image of my hands with the thumb out so the left makes an L. If they made shoes with an L and R on them in my size, I would think about getting them. I think it's because my mom is left-handed and I was ambidextrous until I was about 10. Yeah, that's the ticket.

Posted by: WaitingForMartel at October 19, 2013 04:26 PM (hir7W)

49 Also I said "renumerate" instead of "remunerate" until fairly recently which is embarrassing because I was using it as a highfalutin' way to say "paid".

Posted by: SparcVark at October 19, 2013 04:26 PM (D9m5h)

50 When you buy more tacos from Taco Bell, you don't get any savings. Each additional taco still costs the same as the first.

Posted by: wooga at October 19, 2013 04:27 PM (jgnqm)

51 I still don't know half the shit I should know about computers, even here when the discussion moves to it my eyes glaze over. I think to myself, WTF are they talking about.

Posted by: lowandslow at October 19, 2013 04:28 PM (IV4od)

52 "righty righty lefty loosy" always confused me. It goes clockwise / counter-clockwise, not left or right.

Posted by: burmatar at October 19, 2013 04:28 PM (maI4C)

53 I recently learned that Jeff Goldblum is still alive, although I haven't seen him recentlty, which has me worried.

Posted by: Dr Spank at October 19, 2013 04:28 PM (qRasw)

54 I do the same thing with East and West Africa. Worse, for some reason when I navigate around town, I have to remind myself that "North" is not, in fact, towards the bulk of the city (I live in the north-east quadrant of my home town). Yeah, I'm navigationally challenged just a touch.

Posted by: Brother Cavil and his Flying Toaster Circus at October 19, 2013 04:28 PM (MUN6H)

55 I just learned that all the crap women claim they value is, well, crap. They value men for what they do, not for who they are, which actually is okay, except I spent too many years emulating Allan Alda.

Posted by: Levin at October 19, 2013 04:28 PM (cQ4Va)

56 When I became a man, audio clip, 9 seconds: http://www.hark.com/clips/jhtkvxkxgr-had-him-shot

Posted by: Mike Hammer at October 19, 2013 04:29 PM (aDwsi)

57 I only recently recognized that Rep. Peter King is a pernicious, retarded douchebag, not just an ordinary politician-d-bag, but a d-bag on the order of Sen. Dick Durbin. I am a little ashamed to have not recognized that before.

Posted by: Steve in Greensboro at October 19, 2013 04:29 PM (ZG3Fa)

58 I finally know were Delaware is. Sort of.

Posted by: Levin at October 19, 2013 04:30 PM (cQ4Va)

59 I recently learned that tapping college coeds when you're twenty years out of college is considered taboo in this savage society.

Who friggin' knew?

Posted by: Fritz at October 19, 2013 04:30 PM (TKFmG)

60 To me, East means "near the Atlantic," I do the exact same thing. It worked very well until I lived in Europe.

Posted by: t-bird at October 19, 2013 04:30 PM (FcR7P)

61

Never quite sure, is it VAH-GINA or VAGG-INA

Posted by: Andrew Sullivan, Intrepid Womb Reporter at October 19, 2013 04:30 PM (cll/q)

62 I like the, ahhhhhhhhhhhhh, parable of the. Fence Post Turtle. It, ehhhhhhhh, really highlights the, ummmmmmmmm, plight of. ........ Ahhhhhhhhh. .... Minority Turtles.

Posted by: Preznit Urkel X at October 19, 2013 04:31 PM (jucos)

63 I only recently learned the meaning of "Nicklefucker".

Posted by: Talibill at October 19, 2013 04:31 PM (Q6uDO)

64 I'm trying to think of one that's recently come to me but, in the meantime, I am giggling about something a gal on tv recently came to know. One of the gals on Pretty Wicked Moms was laughing with her gal-friends when she retorted "Is the Pope Catholic?" She then immediately turned to her BFF and said, "I just found that out." Her friend asked her, "What? That the Pope is Catholic?" Yep. She had just learned that the Pope is Catholic.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at October 19, 2013 04:31 PM (DmNpO)

65 Never understood (or had reason to know) that wind directions are from the perspective of the source of wind. That is, an easterly is from the east.

Still have to ensure that the "this/next" distinction between upcoming days is understood by actual dates or number of days. For instance, "this Sunday" will mean tomorrow or eight days from now, depending on with whom you are talking, whereas "next Sunday"can mean the same if you are talking to yet another person.

Posted by: flounder at October 19, 2013 04:32 PM (Kkt/i)

66 Like a lot of people here, I read a lot. Thus the vocabulary is broad. However, I've had enough embarrassing moments where I've dropped an appropriate word into a conversation but completely blew the pronunciation because I've never HEARD it said before. I know the word and use it correctly, but midway through the sentence I realize I've never uttered it before and I go into a vapor lock. Gah.

That, and the whole former-latter construction always gets me.

Posted by: Todd W at October 19, 2013 04:32 PM (lrkg9)

67 Oh! Got one. I was in my forties before I came to realize the meaning behind "She Bop".

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at October 19, 2013 04:33 PM (DmNpO)

68 To Manhattanites, East is Queens and Long Island and West is New Jersey and beyond

To the Hollywood elite, there's East of the 405, North of the 101, South of the 10, and West of Malibu

Posted by: kbdabear at October 19, 2013 04:33 PM (aTXUx)

69 That "expert" =/= smart. Being that devoted to one thing often results in a lack of general understanding.

Posted by: Sarah at October 19, 2013 04:33 PM (qtBka)

70 I found out when I was over 50 that "corpsman" is pronounced "core-man" and not "corpse-man".

Posted by: Barry O at October 19, 2013 04:33 PM (5fSr7)

71 I learned that there is a clear, odorless additive to swimming pool water that, when coming into contact with human urine, turns the water Tidy Bowl blue. I also learned that even though old ladies are individually pretty weak, when there are enough of them pulling on your testicles at the same time it can hurt something awful.

Posted by: Voltaire's Crack at October 19, 2013 04:33 PM (gXtDC)

72 Not me but my daughter: when she was little she thought the 'KFC' on all the Kentucky Fried Chicken signs stood for 'coffee cup'. Like 'Kaw Fee Cup' or something. We still laugh about it.

Posted by: OregonMuse at October 19, 2013 04:34 PM (fd0Pp)

73 Guinea is an African country, not the south Pacific

Posted by: burmatar at October 19, 2013 04:34 PM (maI4C)

74 The correct orientation to turn my tires when parking on a hill. I think it's towards the curb if the car is facing downhill and towards the road if facing uphill, but I'll be damned if I can ever remember. I have to work it out logically each and every time or find a flat place to park.

Posted by: jix at October 19, 2013 04:34 PM (iGpXz)

75 I just learned that all the crap women claim they value is, well, crap. They value men for what they do, not for who they are, which actually is okay, except I spent too many years emulating Allan Alda. Posted by: Levin men are what they do

Posted by: yankeefifth at October 19, 2013 04:34 PM (Z9EHQ)

76 There is nothing embarrassing about learning anything , ever .

Posted by: Bill D. Cat at October 19, 2013 04:34 PM (1jQhu)

77 After I became President, I discovered that aluminum is not attracted by magnets.

Posted by: Barky at October 19, 2013 04:34 PM (aDwsi)

78 Facsimile. As a young stamp collector, I always read it to myself as "fas-mile". Never connected it to the spoken 'facsimile' (as in "or a reasonable facsimile thereof") until after college.

Posted by: t-bird at October 19, 2013 04:34 PM (FcR7P)

79 I still have no clue as to the lyrics to Richard Berry's "Louie Louie".

Posted by: uffda at October 19, 2013 04:35 PM (I8GHU)

Posted by: Levin
__________

Mark?

Posted by: Preznit Urkel X at October 19, 2013 04:35 PM (jucos)

81 you never pick up a woman by showing you care

Posted by: yankeefifth at October 19, 2013 04:35 PM (Z9EHQ)

82 I recently learned that tapping college coeds when you're twenty years out of college is considered taboo in this savage society.

Who friggin' knew?
_______________________________________________________

What if you started college in your 40's?

Posted by: Lucky Pierre at October 19, 2013 04:35 PM (5fSr7)

83 Back in the 70s, any partitioned nation had the commies in the North or East and capitalists in the South or West

Posted by: kbdabear at October 19, 2013 04:35 PM (aTXUx)

84 Posted by: WaitingForMartel at October 19, 2013 08:26 PM (hir7W) That's easy the R is the side you use to do the sign of the cross.

Posted by: Madamex at October 19, 2013 04:36 PM (islXR)

85 The comment box couldn't hold em all.

Posted by: DaveA at October 19, 2013 04:36 PM (DL2i+)

86 Nuns told us to think of it as Flatitude...the lines are flat, like a table. Hope that helps. It werks fer me. *** That IS helpful, or it would be if I could remember it.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at October 19, 2013 04:36 PM (DmNpO)

87 perfectionism is a liability

Posted by: yankeefifth at October 19, 2013 04:36 PM (Z9EHQ)

88 @52 I always had to stop and think about that too. Then I learned the right-hand rule. Make a fist with your right hand, with your thumb pointing in the direction you want the nut to go. Turn the nut in the direction that your fingers point. Of course, my problem is now figuring out which is my right hand.

Posted by: WaitingForMartel at October 19, 2013 04:36 PM (hir7W)

89 Posted by: Levin __________
Mark?

Posted by: Preznit Urkel X at October 19, 2013 08:35 PM (jucos)

_________________

I, ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh, am going to tell. Everyone not to,ummmmmmmmmmmm, listen to you.

Posted by: Preznit Urkel X at October 19, 2013 04:36 PM (jucos)

90 I recently learned that no matter what the chicken will get fucked and the can will get kicked down the road.

Posted by: eman at October 19, 2013 04:36 PM (AO9UG)

91 I didn't learn the difference between left and right (the directions) until 3rd grade, and I still confuse them (at age 33). A lot.

Posted by: Professor Marius von Totenkopf (formerly Hoss Fuentes) at October 19, 2013 04:36 PM (aozUR)

92 Honey, I Blew Up the Blog

Posted by: Rick Moranis at October 19, 2013 04:36 PM (aTXUx)

93 I always thought that chocolate truffles were made from truffles (fungus) until a friend corrected me recently. It's funny how we can come to the wrong conclusion as kids and never pause to reexamine our beliefs. Oh and Never Eat Soggy Waffles (north, east, south, west) I got taught that in elementary school and never forgot it. I still use it if I am trying to orientate myself.

Posted by: JJLive at October 19, 2013 04:36 PM (F7c4B)

94 There is no such thing as a stupid question..... only stupid people.

Posted by: Truck Monkey, Gruntled New Business Owner at October 19, 2013 04:36 PM (jucos)

95 There is nothing embarrassing about learning anything , ever . Posted by: Bill D ----------------------------- I know, I know... Just because ordinary economics are common knowledge, there's no reason that I should be embarrassed if *I* don't understand it.

Posted by: Barky at October 19, 2013 04:37 PM (aDwsi)

96 I don't know if it's an embarrassment so much as a disappointment, but I was probably around 30 when I realized that age or titles do not automatically confer wisdom. That's when I realized that my "elders" in business can and do sometimes make dumb and / or costly mistakes.

Posted by: Empire of Jeff, True RINO at October 19, 2013 04:37 PM (JDIKC)

97 I was out of college before I knew that "laurels" wasn't a synonym for "butt." For twenty years, any time I'd sit down to read a book, my mother would come in screaming that I couldn't just "rest on my laurels" and throw cleaning supplies at me, so from the context...

Meh.

Posted by: HeatherRadish™, drinking heavily at October 19, 2013 04:37 PM (hO8IJ)

98 I recently learned that tapping college coeds when you're twenty years out of college is considered taboo in this savage society. Who friggin' knew? not so much savage as unsporting, on par with a 40 year old guy chasing 70 year old women.

Posted by: yankeefifth at October 19, 2013 04:37 PM (Z9EHQ)

99 Try to explain to a liberals arts major why the weather always comes from the West or the sun rise is in the East. Rotation of the earth? What it rotates? It is impossible. We have a nation of stupid. They know who Mic Jagger is but not who Copernicus was.

Posted by: Nip Sip at October 19, 2013 04:37 PM (0FSuD)

100 83 Back in the 70s, any partitioned nation had the commies in the North or East and capitalists in the South or West

Posted by: kbdabear at October 19, 2013 08:35 PM (aTXUx)

Except Yemen. South Yemen was commie, North Yemen was, well, Yemeni.

Posted by: Professor Marius von Totenkopf (formerly Hoss Fuentes) at October 19, 2013 04:37 PM (aozUR)

101 @64 Up until my early 20's I thought Irish Catholics and Roman Catholics were members of two different sects. I saw a movie (I think it was Heaven Help Us) where the Pope visited the US in the 60's and a bunch of Irish schoolkids were lining the streets to greet him. I'm like "why are they greeting him? He's not their pope." To not have understood until that age that Catholics were Catholics was kinda embarrassing.

Posted by: Gran at October 19, 2013 04:37 PM (nPMjI)

102 I didn't know guerilla and gorilla were two separate words. I thought they were alternate spellings.

Posted by: WalrusRex at October 19, 2013 04:38 PM (PjgvN)

103 When I turned 58 I found out Republican politicians aren't really about smaller government

Posted by: Beto at October 19, 2013 04:38 PM (MhA4j)

104 It took me until I was in my early 20s to figure out that my paternal grandmother's neighbor was not actually named "Mr. Ginney."

Posted by: shillelagh at October 19, 2013 04:38 PM (xrwaN)

105 I just now learned that taking pictures up women's skirts was wrong.

Posted by: TSA Agent at October 19, 2013 04:39 PM (aDwsi)

106 >>>What if you started college in your 40's?<<<

Call me professor.

Posted by: Prof. Fritz at October 19, 2013 04:39 PM (TKFmG)

107 Cooters are actually kinda cute if you shave off all that wooly mammoth fur.

Posted by: Lucky Pierre at October 19, 2013 04:39 PM (5fSr7)

108 Search-engine optimization (SEO). Just learned about it a week ago.

My Website was completely invisible, and I didn't know it. Back in 2001, I hired a famous bassist's wife who made me a great Website and optimized it in a about ten days.

A week ago I learned that search engines don't use keywords anymore, because everyone abused them. It's like when you go on eBay Germany and search "Flammenwerfer" and get 989 hits, of which only twenty have to do with flamethrowers. The sellers cram their descriptions with words that have nothing to do with your search.

It'll take three to four months for my site to achieve perfect SEO. My Web designers built me a beautiful radio in a polished walnut cabinet, with gold trim, embedded diamonds, rubies, and sapphires, and then they didn't plug it in.

I was a rube, a jackass-continent ripe for plundering, so who could blame my Web designers? I mean, caveat emptor, right? So I got what I deserved.

Posted by: Tacky Adhesive at October 19, 2013 04:39 PM (81H5s)

109 I was out of college before I knew that "laurels" wasn't a synonym for "butt." Ditto, but I thought they were elbows.

Posted by: t-bird at October 19, 2013 04:39 PM (FcR7P)

110
OK, for me it was the realization, about 2001, that fire can't melt steel.

Posted by: Rosie O'Donnell at October 19, 2013 04:40 PM (cll/q)

111 What network has the baseball game?

Posted by: Madamex at October 19, 2013 04:40 PM (islXR)

112 The G-Spot really does exist .

Posted by: Bill D. Cat at October 19, 2013 04:40 PM (1jQhu)

113 To not have understood until that age that Catholics were Catholics was kinda embarrassing. *** You think that was embarrassing, I was into my teens before I stopped confusing monkeys and bears. Damn BJ and the Bear!

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at October 19, 2013 04:40 PM (DmNpO)

114 I just now learned that taking pictures up women's skirts was wrong. Posted by: TSA Agent at October 19, 2013 I think YOU meant to say punishable not wrong

Posted by: yankeefifth at October 19, 2013 04:40 PM (Z9EHQ)

115 Changes in latitude, changes in attitude.

Posted by: Flatbush Joe at October 19, 2013 04:41 PM (ZPrif)

116 Some women actually don't like being groped by strange men.

Who woulda thunk it?

Posted by: Bob Filner at October 19, 2013 04:41 PM (5fSr7)

117 I realized the "exploding prairie dogs, and clubbed baby seal" movies shown to me in the 4th or so grades was a fucking massive manipulation. I would like to cunt punt Mr. Cooper, the teacher who went along with it.

Posted by: nip at October 19, 2013 04:41 PM (jI23+)

118 not so much savage as unsporting, on par with a 40 year old guy chasing 70 year old women. Posted by: yankeefifth ------------------------------- Or a 50-something President getting BJ's from a 19 year old intern daughter of a donor.

Posted by: Mike Hammer at October 19, 2013 04:41 PM (aDwsi)

119 My Website was completely invisible, and I didn't know it. Did you spend $634 million on it? Well, you get what you pay for, don't you?

Posted by: t-bird at October 19, 2013 04:41 PM (FcR7P)

120 I wanted a daughter because they are so much easier than raising a boy Everyone laughed at me

Posted by: Navycopjoe at October 19, 2013 04:41 PM (fmjNz)

121 And I think I was in my 30s before I figured out that "the Melbourne blacktop" was county road S52. (By the time I could drive, it wasn't black asphalt anymore...)

Posted by: HeatherRadish™, drinking heavily at October 19, 2013 04:41 PM (hO8IJ)

122 "Posted by: Tacky Adhesive at October 19, 2013 08:39 PM (81H5s)"

I'm not afraid to admit, I don't know what the hell you're talking about.

Posted by: lowandslow at October 19, 2013 04:42 PM (IV4od)

123 111 What network has the baseball game? Posted by: Madamex

Fox.

Posted by: Dr Spank at October 19, 2013 04:42 PM (qRasw)

124 Every day I learn new words and their meanings

On the other hand, I forget old words at the same rate

Posted by: kbdabear at October 19, 2013 04:42 PM (aTXUx)

125 I wanted a daughter because they are so much easier than raising a boy Everyone laughed at me *** Who the heck sold you on that nonsense?

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at October 19, 2013 04:42 PM (DmNpO)

126 Or a 50-something President getting BJ's from a 19 year old intern daughter of a donor. Posted by: Mike Hammer at October 19, 2013 yep, even worse if she is chubby

Posted by: yankeefifth at October 19, 2013 04:42 PM (Z9EHQ)

127 Until recently, I thought everybody ate dog.

Posted by: Barry Ob... just Barry at October 19, 2013 04:43 PM (hir7W)

128 I just learned how to speed dial using a cell phone. Mine is a paygo that I bought for twenty five bucks. Smart phones are not robust. When they can survive the spin cycle, give me a call.

Posted by: Levin at October 19, 2013 04:43 PM (cQ4Va)

129 unenwiden(82);

Posted by: Purp[/i][/b][/u][/s] at October 19, 2013 04:43 PM (l5zzX)

130 I really feel bad for you Teahadists. I saw Hillary campaigning for Terry McAuliffe today and was impressed. She ripped without by saying by name that Ted Cruz nutjob and the Teahadists in Washington DC. You guys have no one that can defeat Hillary.

2016 will be an apocalyptic defeat for the Tea Party Republicans. It will be beautiful to watch Hillary win a 45 state landslide.

Hillary 2016!

Posted by: Hillary Clintonista at October 19, 2013 04:43 PM (PytgW)

131 I thought "the American way" didn't include blind deference to authority....

Posted by: sven10077 at October 19, 2013 04:43 PM (9jfyN)

132 Fun fact: monkey bars are wrongly named. If you let monkeys play on monkey bars they would skitter along the top. Now if you let some apes play with monkey bars then they'll swing along them with their arms, just like humans do.

Posted by: Flatbush Joe at October 19, 2013 04:43 PM (ZPrif)

133 When I was five a thick Texas accent totally messed me up when a kid said "I'm not a monkey, I'm a Human Bean." So I asked my Mom, "Mom, is Jerry a human bean?" "Yes, we're all human beans." Messed me up for a couple years.

Posted by: Beto at October 19, 2013 04:44 PM (MhA4j)

134 Milk hand, bread hand. **mutter, mutter**

Posted by: Mr. Dave at October 19, 2013 04:44 PM (hsTmJ)

135 I learned perilously late in life that there is no way to chart out a contented, prosperous life when you live under a government of bandits and hoodlums.

Posted by: cthulhu at October 19, 2013 04:44 PM (T1005)

136 Another: putting your finger in a large cat's mouth while it's yawning always ends poorly Always

Posted by: Navycopjoe at October 19, 2013 04:44 PM (08XBV)

137 130 Hillary Clintonista at October 19, 2013 08:43 PM (PytgW)

Choom is such a smashing success America will be trilled for another affirmative action hire I guess...

right?>

Posted by: sven10077 at October 19, 2013 04:45 PM (9jfyN)

138 Is that wrong? Should I have not done that?

Posted by: Costanza Defense at October 19, 2013 04:45 PM (ZPrif)

139 And about a month ago I learned that the tabs on soda cans are a straw holder.

http://is.gd/khXCmR

I've been using it at work.

Posted by: HeatherRadish™, drinking heavily at October 19, 2013 04:45 PM (hO8IJ)

140 can't tell the difference between Limoges, France and Limauges, Belgium

knew it once, but entirely forgot. Sad, the decline is...

Posted by: Keyser Soze at October 19, 2013 04:45 PM (omBWL)

141 not so late in life but late enough - hard work, especially persistence, is as important as intelligence.

Posted by: yankeefifth at October 19, 2013 04:45 PM (Z9EHQ)

142 I could fill a dictionary with words that I assumed were pronounced one way but are pronounced completely differently. When I was a kid, I thought the word misled was pronounced MY-zulled and was a synonym for mis-lead. I had never seen seen mis-lead in print but assumed it had to be the correct spelling.

Posted by: Michael the Hobbit, but you must call me Chelsea at October 19, 2013 04:45 PM (7cS5n)

143 I was shocked to see Robin Thicke's hand up that girl's panties reflected in the mirror. Was even more shocked that his wife still talks to him.

Posted by: Madamex at October 19, 2013 04:46 PM (islXR)

144 >>>>My Website was completely invisible, and I didn't know it.
Did you spend $634 million on it? Well, you get what you pay for, don't you?>>>>

Close. Twelve grand. I have a terrible aversion to Googling my name because of stalker problems. Amazing shit used to come up. So I trusted the Web designers.

After a friend in IT told me I had an SEO problem, I used Bing and Google, and both said about my Website, "This site will not allow us to post a description."

That's what I wanted: a Website that prohibits its contents from being described on a search engine. Sort of like the ObamaCare site performing a DOS attack on itself.

My site was designed to not let anyone know what it's about. Beautiful.

Posted by: Tacky Adhesive at October 19, 2013 04:46 PM (81H5s)

145 I learned that Ewoks sometimes get an urge to wallow in garbage.

Posted by: eman at October 19, 2013 04:46 PM (AO9UG)

146 Another: putting your finger in a large cat's mouth while it's yawning always ends poorly Always Posted by: Navycopjoe interestingly, doing that to a methlab does nothing, finishes yawn as though nothing even happened.

Posted by: yankeefifth at October 19, 2013 04:46 PM (Z9EHQ)

147 Seriously, I did not know that Communists and Socialists were not (1) charged with sedition, (2) immediately deported or (3) hanged until I met a Socialist when I was 35. I was more than upset, and he was frightened to death. True story.

Posted by: Inspector Asshole at October 19, 2013 04:46 PM (VFtsA)

148 I learned how downright dumb some of my fellow Americans are during my time in London. Two examples: 1) People going to Baker Street looking for Sherlock Holmes' apartment. 2) The open-top double-decker tour bus companies offer multilingual tours, and they have the different countries flags on the sides of the bus to show the languages they offer (German, French, etc.) They show a Union Jack to denote English. More than one American wouldn't take the tour because they didn't see a US flag. "They don't offer my language."

Posted by: Gran at October 19, 2013 04:47 PM (nPMjI)

149 Posted by: HeatherRadishÂ™, drinking heavily

I did not know that.

Posted by: Dr Spank at October 19, 2013 04:47 PM (qRasw)

150 125. I grew up a street punk in Chicago Figured girls wouldn't do that Then I discovered drama, clothes, and manipulation

Posted by: Navycopjoe at October 19, 2013 04:47 PM (08XBV)

151 143 I was shocked to see Robin Thicke's hand up that girl's panties reflected in the mirror. Was even more shocked that his wife still talks to him. Posted by: Madamex at October 19, 2013 08:46 PM (islXR) It turns out they have a very modern marriage.

Posted by: eman at October 19, 2013 04:47 PM (AO9UG)

152 In 2009 I learned that the President of the United States hates America and Americans.

Posted by: NaCly Dog at October 19, 2013 04:47 PM (u82oZ)

153 I fly into Aspen, CO every now and again. I was in the crew can on way to hotel one year and I asked myself out loud "I wonder how this city got its name." Yeah. I didn't know an Aspen was a type of tree. I was embarrassed.

Posted by: Citation X driver at October 19, 2013 04:48 PM (KFO/8)

154 When my daughter was about 7, she thought a coin laundry was where people brought their change to wash. Wanted to know why people wanted to wash their money.

Posted by: Say What? at October 19, 2013 04:48 PM (3hSf2)

155 Gotta admit, folks, I can't relate to y'all. I must have had much better schoolin' 'cuz I haven't been made aware of any mistakes since high school.

Posted by: Barky McDouche at October 19, 2013 04:48 PM (FcR7P)

156 Anytime I want to elicit stupid grins from 20-somethings, I use the phrase "Gird your loins". The unschooled little twits assume that it has a salacious undertone.

Posted by: Mike Hammer at October 19, 2013 04:48 PM (aDwsi)

157 I was shocked to see Robin Thicke's hand up that girl's panties reflected in the mirror. Was even more shocked that his wife still talks to him. *** HUH?! what did I miss?

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at October 19, 2013 04:48 PM (DmNpO)

158 I wanted a daughter because they are so much easier than raising a son. ---- Ha! The first time I was pregnant, I decided I would be alright as long as it wasn't a girl---I don't quite get girls, even with being one and all. Yeah, I had twin boys. I've had to eat my words, with a second helping.

Posted by: Jenny Hates Her Phone at October 19, 2013 04:48 PM (KDui7)

159
Bill never has learned yet where the little man in the boat is.

Posted by: Hillary Clinton, I go both ways at October 19, 2013 04:48 PM (cll/q)

160 Can=van.

Posted by: Citation X driver at October 19, 2013 04:48 PM (KFO/8)

161 A real mind bender is to try and visualize where you are as the bottom of the planet or the side with you sticking down or out to the side and perceive all the scenery fitting in to that upside down or sideways perspective

I think human brains are wired to want to believe the ground is "down" and the sky is "up"

I do this mental perception exercise several times a week and its always weird for a few seconds, then the logic part of brain starts to kick in.

Posted by: Purp[/i][/b][/u][/s] at October 19, 2013 04:49 PM (l5zzX)

162 When my daughter was about 7, she thought a coin laundry was where people brought their change to wash. Wanted to know why people wanted to wash their money. *** Awww. The innocence of youth. I was around that age when I asked my mom why all crimes on tv only took an hour to solve.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at October 19, 2013 04:50 PM (DmNpO)

163 130 2016 will be an apocalyptic defeat for the Tea Party Republicans. It will be beautiful to watch Hillary win a 45 state landslide. ------------- What difference, at this point, does it make?

Posted by: Attila (Pillage Idiot) at October 19, 2013 04:50 PM (PQt9W)

164 I just found out I'm gay.

I know, what a shocker, right girls?!

Posted by: Richard Simmons at October 19, 2013 04:50 PM (qzUE+)

165 HUH?! what did I miss? Daily Mail had a pic of him with his hand up some girl's ass. His wife seems to be cool with his behavior. Don't understand why.

Posted by: EC at October 19, 2013 04:50 PM (doBIb)

166 I thought I lived in a free nation.

I thought for absolute certain that Natural Born Citizen actually had some meaning in the Constitution, but it in fact does include Anchor babies and Manchurian Candidates.

I thought this nation was worth risking my life for in the military, that I was actually making certain we would turn over to the next generation a better nation than the one we inherited.

Growing up with Reagan I always thought that the Republican party was conservative.

I thought infamy was supposed to destroy a person's prospects for fame and wealth.

Posted by: astonerii at October 19, 2013 04:50 PM (1qHDV)

167 There is not, in fact, a bathroom on the right.

Posted by: Lauren at October 19, 2013 04:50 PM (ELdpj)

168 "Gird your loins".

Try out "go to the mattresses" on'em too. That should be good for a laugh.

Posted by: Purp[/i][/b][/u][/s] at October 19, 2013 04:51 PM (l5zzX)

169 130

Obama may not be a great success, but people remember the prosperity of the 90's fondly. Hillary will run on that nostalgia and let's be honest, Republicans have no national appeal. They are a rural party for just reactionary white people. The Democrats are a party for all Americans regardless of race. We are a true diverse tolerant coalition and resemble today's America.

Posted by: Hillary Clintonista at October 19, 2013 04:51 PM (zBQD6)

170 I went to Baker Street to look for 221 B, even though I knew it was fake. It was an existential journey, to make sure that Fake Stuff wasn't actually real

I was fifteen; the world was still new

There is a Baker Street, and that was cool enough. It was close to that big park ( that's sorta close to the British Museum )

Posted by: Keyser Soze at October 19, 2013 04:51 PM (omBWL)

171 I was "disappointed" to learn that if the state carves a highway through your family farm that unlike the episode of Andy Griffith, they won't offer you "more than it's worth". They'll offer you a third what it's worth. And when you hit them over the head with a lawsuit and win, you get to pay taxes and penalties on the money spent to pay the attorney to do it. Asshats.

Posted by: Tobacco Road at October 19, 2013 04:51 PM (4Mv1T)

172 148 I learned how downright dumb some of my fellow Americans are during my time in London. Two examples:

1) People going to Baker Street looking for Sherlock Holmes' apartment.
2) The open-top double-decker tour bus companies offer multilingual tours, and they have the different countries flags on the sides of the bus to show the languages they offer (German, French, etc.) They show a Union Jack to denote English. More than one American wouldn't take the tour because they didn't see a US flag. "They don't offer my language."

Posted by: Gran at October 19, 2013 08:47 PM (nPMjI)

1 -- but it's there! Has a plaque on the door and everything.

Posted by: cthulhu at October 19, 2013 04:51 PM (T1005)

173 >>>>I'm not afraid to admit, I don't know what the hell you're talking about.>>>>

I didn't either until a week ago. What happened was someone built me a beautiful house with no doors in it.

Or they sold me a gorgeous sports car with no engine.

My Website was completely worthless because it wouldn't show up on any search engines. It's all about "meta tags" now.

Word to the wise: If you need a Website built and they tell you that they're going to use WordPress, get up and run. Unbelievable pile of shit. Also, if your Web designers cal themselves "Dan" and "Phil" and Mike" but speak in thick Brazilian accents, get up and run.

Posted by: Tacky Adhesive at October 19, 2013 04:51 PM (81H5s)

174 Another: putting your finger in a large cat's mouth while it's yawning always ends poorly Always Posted by: Navycopjoe ---------------- Same with gators.

Posted by: Captain Hook at October 19, 2013 04:51 PM (aDwsi)

175 I just recently learned that my Football Team's name is horribly racisty racist, and that it needs to be changed NOW so that more Indians (Casino, not 7-11) suffer under the weight of the awful, nasty, unimaginably oppressively oppressive racisty racist nickname. It's like the holocaust is happening all over again.

Posted by: Truck Monkey, Gruntled New Business Owner at October 19, 2013 04:51 PM (jucos)

176 Well the post-shutdown shitstorm here showed me I needed the ignore users script even though I can't tweak the .js to just what I want yet.

Posted by: DaveA at October 19, 2013 04:51 PM (DL2i+)

177 OK shit only old guys know? Why does NYC have 212 as it's area code? When area codes were assigned in the 60's all phone systems were pulses, aka, every time you dialed a number it sent a pulse to the exchange. The lower the number the shorter the pulse. NYC had over half of all long distance traffic in the country because of wall st, so the shorter the pulses the faster the connection. 212 is five pulses. The shortest available. 312, Chicago is next and 213, LA is third. Want to know how valuable your area was to ATT in the 60's? Add up your area code, 0 is ten. 704=21 pulses. 919=20 pluses. Shit you need to know that is worthless.

Posted by: Nip Sip at October 19, 2013 04:51 PM (0FSuD)

178 I thought my whole life it was "London bridges falling down." Not bridge-is.

Posted by: Citation X driver at October 19, 2013 04:52 PM (KFO/8)

179 Posted by: TXMarko at October 19, 2013 08:13 PM (Tvq0W)
------------------
I've found out in life that if there's a 50% chance to get something right, 90% of the time I'll get it wrong. Personal experience.

Posted by: RoadRunner at October 19, 2013 04:52 PM (fvsiN)

180 I can remember clearly not understanding how Roy Rodgers and Dale Evans could be married because they had different last names. I was 5 years old. And living in an entirely different culture called American Exceptionalism.

Posted by: NaCly Dog at October 19, 2013 04:52 PM (u82oZ)

181 My first year of graduate school I wrote an entire paper where I wrote revelant instead of relevant. Palin has nothing on me.

Posted by: Roc Ingersol at October 19, 2013 04:52 PM (faahM)

182

"The bathroom's on the right" is actually "There's a bad moon on the rise".

Who knew?

Posted by: RokShox at October 19, 2013 04:52 PM (8MMMw)

183 a-b-c-d-e-f-g-h-i-j-k-elemenopee-q-r-s-t-u-v-w-x-y-z

Posted by: Sister Mary Catherine at October 19, 2013 04:52 PM (vbnHZ)

184 Oh geez, I have so many of these. I felt stupid enough when I was corrected and set straight. No way I'm going through that again. Here is one that Ace fixed for me on the blog: loss leader. I always thought it was lost liter. Yeah, it never made any sense to me. I also have a problem with lyrics.

Posted by: L, elle at October 19, 2013 04:52 PM (0PiQ4)

185 Want to know how valuable your area was to ATT in the 60's? Add up your area code, 0 is ten. 704=21 pulses. 919=20 pluses. Shit you need to know that is worthless. Posted by: Nip Sip at October 19, 2013 08:51 PM (0FSuD) Uh oh NDH. We've got 23 pulses.

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at October 19, 2013 04:53 PM (GEICT)

186 169 Hillary Clintonista at October 19, 2013 08:51 PM (zBQD6)

Hillary2016! Kill some more gay men in Libya....

FOAD

Posted by: sven10077 at October 19, 2013 04:53 PM (9jfyN)

187 I learned not to stamp out the burning bag.

Posted by: WaitingForMartel at October 19, 2013 04:53 PM (hir7W)

188 enemy of the good is the best

Posted by: yankeefifth at October 19, 2013 04:54 PM (Z9EHQ)

189 I was 34 years old when I looked at my watch and had an epiphany that the second hand was called that because it counted seconds. I can't tell you how many times before that I silently wondered why it wasn't called the third hand. duh!

Posted by: Farmer Bob at October 19, 2013 04:54 PM (tuH2W)

190 *shoves two slices of Cajun chicken/black olive/banana pepper pizza through the RS-232 port for TR. Calculates transit time at 110 Baud..., should show up some time tomorrow*

Posted by: Mike Hammer at October 19, 2013 04:54 PM (aDwsi)

191 Want to know how valuable your area was to ATT in the 60's? Add up your area code, 0 is ten. 704=21 pulses. 919=20 pluses. Shit you need to know that is worthless. **** 904 here. *sigh*

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at October 19, 2013 04:54 PM (DmNpO)

192 73 Guinea is an African country, not the south Pacific.

I thought it was in Italy.

Posted by: Trayvon at October 19, 2013 04:54 PM (gsL/p)

193 166

We do live in a free nation and the Republican Party of the Reagan era was conservative. Today's Republican Party is reactionary and racist. The Democrat Party has conservatives as well as liberals and moderate. We are an anti-Reactionary colaition that believes in a diverse tolerant America. You just can't deal with today's America so you cling to an idealized America that never existed.

If Republicans ever come to grips with today's tolerant and diverse America and tries to appeal to people, you might start winning national elections again. Resentment does gain votes.

Posted by: Hillary Clintonista at October 19, 2013 04:54 PM (zBQD6)

194 I know there are lots of them, but once I learn something--even if it was just last week--it feels like I've always known it.

Posted by: Daniel at October 19, 2013 04:54 PM (tfup/)

195 169 130

We are a true diverse tolerant coalition and resemble today's America.

Posted by: Hillary Clintonista at October 19, 2013 08:51 PM (zBQD6)

I know, right, unlike those terrorist, racist, murdering motherfucking Tea Party people.who are 100 percent racist to the core because I say so.

Posted by: Hissy Chrissy Matthews at October 19, 2013 04:54 PM (cll/q)

196 I'm ashamed that I still don't know what "douche" has to do with "Blinded By the Light."

Posted by: Jane D'oh at October 19, 2013 04:54 PM (RmtDa)

197 919=20 pluses. That's 19.

Posted by: EC at October 19, 2013 04:55 PM (doBIb)

198 Our nun teachers in the 60s explained to us children that Winter & Summer happened because the Earth was on an uneven elliptical orbit around the Sun (Winter-farther away, Summer-closer). When I learned it was because the tilt of the Earth the scales of blindness fell from my eyes. It also explained those Tropic of Cancer and Tropic of Capricorn lines on every globe in existence since 1700.

Posted by: Corona at October 19, 2013 04:55 PM (fh2Y7)

199 I never understood what "London Bridge is falling down" had to do with "my fair lady"

I also thought that London Bridge was the Tower Bridge; the Tower Bridge is way cool; London Bridge ( old and new ) is just a plain flat bridge

Posted by: Keyser Soze at October 19, 2013 04:55 PM (omBWL)

200 Uh oh NDH. We've got 23 pulses. ** I guess the powers that be didn't think to highly of us back then.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at October 19, 2013 04:55 PM (DmNpO)

201 Frontage Road. I was all of 25 before I figured that fucker out.

Posted by: Inspector Asshole at October 19, 2013 04:55 PM (VFtsA)

202 It turns out they have a very modern marriage.
Posted by: eman at October 19, 2013 08:47 PM (AO9UG)

They have an inferior marriage.

Posted by: Colorado Alex at October 19, 2013 04:55 PM (lr3d7)

203 a-b-c-d-e-f-g-h-i-j-k- elemenopee -q-r-s-t-u-v-w-x-y-z

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k4eVDA_9lx0

Posted by: HeatherRadish™, drinking heavily at October 19, 2013 04:56 PM (hO8IJ)

204 120 I wanted a daughter because they are so much easier than raising a boy Everyone laughed at me --/ Yeah, I fell for that one, too.

Posted by: WalrusRex at October 19, 2013 04:56 PM (PjgvN)

205 193 Hillary Clintonista at October 19, 2013 08:54 PM (zBQD6)

Hey Yector how's the wif..er husaband?

Posted by: sven10077 at October 19, 2013 04:56 PM (9jfyN)

206 197 919=20 pluses. That's 19. Posted by: EC at October 19, 2013 08:55 PM (doBIb) OK, I am a fucking idiot. ha ha.

Posted by: Nip Sip at October 19, 2013 04:56 PM (0FSuD)

207 Posted by: Hillary Clintonista at October 19, 2013 08:54 PM (zBQD6)

Shut up, Hector.

Posted by: boulder toilet hobo at October 19, 2013 04:56 PM (d7tB2)

208 I learned within the past few days that in the event of an Electoral College indecision, that the House votes by state and not by each representative. /blush

Posted by: Burn the Witch at October 19, 2013 04:56 PM (ObHhj)

209 I'm ashamed that I still don't know what "douche" has to do with "Blinded By the Light." *** No matter how many times I try to get "deuce" from that song, it always comes out "douche". The singer was a complete douche for trying to be clever in his pronunciation.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at October 19, 2013 04:56 PM (DmNpO)

210 186

Like it or not, Hillary is going to annihilate the Republican Party in 2016. You know this to be true, hence why you have no coherent argument to counter it.

Posted by: Hillary Clintonista at October 19, 2013 04:56 PM (zBQD6)

211 196 I'm ashamed that I still don't know what "douche" has to do with "Blinded By the Light." Posted by: Jane D'oh at October 19, 2013 08:54 PM (RmtDa) Hehe, it's "deuce".

Posted by: EC at October 19, 2013 04:57 PM (doBIb)

212 too highly

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at October 19, 2013 04:57 PM (DmNpO)

213 207 boulder toilet hobo at October 19, 2013 08:56 PM (d7tB2)

Well Yector has to go suck his wife's crank...

I get confused...

Posted by: sven10077 at October 19, 2013 04:57 PM (9jfyN)

214 My couple-ah: 'When it rains, it pours" -- I had no clue that non-iodized salt clumped when it was humid. It was salt. Visited a friend at the shore who put some rice in the salt shaker to keep the salt from clumping. "Electric Light Bulb Moment!" Quadratic Formula - "negative b plus or minus the square ... " For the life of me, during algebra 1 I spent an inordinate amount of time trying to figure out why something raised to the second power had the word "quad" in it ... to the point where it impinged on my relationship with math. Found out when I was forty that "Quadra" is Latin for "square." "Light Bulb Moment" I felt like ST-TNG Data when he "got" all the jokes that were made during the course of the show/movie. Ultimately, I wanted to go back in time and punch somebody in the face. Just like Data. _

Posted by: BumperStickerist at October 19, 2013 04:57 PM (19AvL)

215 206 197 919=20 pluses.

That would be 'pulses' as well...

Posted by: Todd W at October 19, 2013 04:57 PM (lrkg9)

216 Oh- and I pronounce Pakistan "Pock-ee-stahn"

Posted by: Farmer Bob at October 19, 2013 04:57 PM (tuH2W)

217 I guess the powers that be didn't think to highly of us back then. Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at October 19, 2013 08:55 PM (DmNpO) Back then?

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at October 19, 2013 04:57 PM (GEICT)

218 Hehe, it's "deuce".

Posted by: EC at October 19, 2013 08:57 PM (doBIb)

I know! *slaps EC on the butt*

Posted by: Jane D'oh at October 19, 2013 04:58 PM (RmtDa)

219 69: An expert is a knowledge delta function. It's someone who learns more and more about less and less until he knows absolutely everything about absolutely nothing.

Posted by: publius(NotBreitbartPublius) at October 19, 2013 04:58 PM (M5Os+)

220 Thanks Hammer! I actually like cold pizza for breakfast. I do.

Posted by: Tobacco Road at October 19, 2013 04:59 PM (4Mv1T)

221 215 206 197 919=20 pluses. That would be 'pulses' as well.. Typing when drunk is a challenge.

Posted by: Nip Sip at October 19, 2013 04:59 PM (0FSuD)

222 I also have a problem with lyrics. ---- Oh, me too. The last one involved a very ridiculous song called Summertime Sadness. My sister likes it and I was making fun of it. I said "what does that even mean, 'telephone wires above are sizzling like a snail'?". I got a very blank look followed by "Um, it's 'sizzling like a snare' dummy"

Posted by: Jenny Hates Her Phone at October 19, 2013 04:59 PM (KDui7)

223 Posted by: TXMarko at October 19, 2013 08:13 PM (Tvq0W) Jimmy Buffett wasn't looking to go east or west.

Posted by: Golfman in NC at October 19, 2013 04:59 PM (tGM2j)

224 Had a girl, age 25, confess to me that she never was really clear where she peed from, specifically.

Posted by: Costanza Defense at October 19, 2013 05:00 PM (ZPrif)

225 196 I'm ashamed that I still don't know what "douche" has to do with "Blinded By the Light." --- Cut loose like a deuce, another runner in the night.

Posted by: WalrusRex at October 19, 2013 05:00 PM (PjgvN)

226 I'm ashamed that I still don't know what "douche" has to do with "Blinded By the Light."

Umm, I think it's "revved up like a deuce."

Posted by: no good deed at October 19, 2013 05:00 PM (k55Fc)

227 I decided that if we're going to have a black president, I should learn something about black history. So I went to the bookstore to see what's available. I still don't understand the funny looks I got when I told the clerk that I wanted to by this book "The Autobiography of Malcolm the Tenth."

Posted by: RoadRunner at October 19, 2013 05:00 PM (fvsiN)

228 I know! *slaps EC on the butt* I hear douche too. Heh....

Posted by: EC at October 19, 2013 05:00 PM (doBIb)

229 A real mind bender is to try and visualize where you are as the bottom of the planet or the side with you sticking down or out to the side and perceive all the scenery fitting in to that upside down or sideways perspective

Warning: Do not attempt while under the influence.

Posted by: Totally Tripping Balls at October 19, 2013 05:00 PM (DL2i+)

230 why don't people in glass houses throw stones?

Posted by: Michael J Pollard at October 19, 2013 05:00 PM (omBWL)

231 I was in ninth grade when I figured out that a pimento was not part of an olive.

Posted by: macgruber at October 19, 2013 05:00 PM (JOD5b)

232 >>>>why you have no coherent argument to counter it.>>>>

"Dimi, why you do this to me?"

"YOU'RE NOT MY MOTHER!"

"Father Karras! Get out!"

Posted by: Tacky Adhesive at October 19, 2013 05:00 PM (81H5s)

233 On the subject of area codes, I'm surprised how many people don't know that broadcast call signs in the U.S. east of the Mississippi start with W and west of it start with K.

Posted by: lowandslow at October 19, 2013 05:00 PM (IV4od)

234 O/T: Mildly worried about what's going on in our house in Savannah while we're in ATL. Four Marines having a cookout and party. What could go wrong?

Yeesh.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at October 19, 2013 05:01 PM (RmtDa)

235 I do not know my left from my right.

Whichever way I am facing is North.

It doesn't matter if I double knot my shoelaces, they will still come untied.

Yes, I do, in fact, just topple over for no reason.

Specialest. Snowflake.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD, you taunty bitch. at October 19, 2013 05:01 PM (Gk3SS)

236 Heard in a love song Ten feet long.

Posted by: Roc Ingersol at October 19, 2013 05:01 PM (faahM)

237 230 I lived in a cardboard box when I was 19. I threw all the rocks I wanted.

Posted by: Beto at October 19, 2013 05:01 PM (MhA4j)

238 I was in ninth grade when I figured out that a pimento was not part of an olive. *** AHA! I had that one too! I completely forgot about it until you said it.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at October 19, 2013 05:01 PM (DmNpO)

239 2016 is the end of the tea party reactionary movement. Hillary Clinton will stomp any kook you send against her. I will be here on election night in November 2016 laughing at the sad mood this place will be in.

Go Hillary!

Posted by: Hillary Clintonista at October 19, 2013 05:02 PM (zBQD6)

240 If Republicans ever come to grips with today's tolerant and diverse America and tries to appeal to people, you might start winning national elections again. Resentment does gain votes. Posted by: Hillary Clintonista ----------------------------- Assemble the firing squad. Time to jettison a "commentor"

Posted by: Tobacco Road at October 19, 2013 05:02 PM (4Mv1T)

241 If we're going to get into misheard lyrics, we'll be here for days.

Posted by: OregonMuse at October 19, 2013 05:02 PM (fd0Pp)

242 The "Blinded by the Light" song.. I think a lot of people confused those lyrics. I had trouble with "Dirty Deeds" for the longest time, but now I can't remember what I used to think the lyrics were.

Posted by: Stan at October 19, 2013 05:02 PM (lKWv9)

243 On the subject of area codes, I'm surprised how many people don't know that broadcast call signs in the U.S. east of the Mississippi start with W and west of it start with K.

Stations west of the M'sippi were grandfathered in when the convention was formalized. For example, Reagan worked at WHO in Des Moines.

Posted by: HeatherRadish™, drinking heavily at October 19, 2013 05:02 PM (hO8IJ)

244 Which is the right way to put on a condom? Yep. Could never figure that out. Put it on the wrong way and it just slides off. Solution: long time girlfriend where I don't need to use them.

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at October 19, 2013 05:02 PM (oFCZn)

245 On the subject of area codes, I'm surprised how many people don't know that broadcast call signs in the U.S. east of the Mississippi start with W and west of it start with K. Posted by: lowandslow at October I got into an argument with a guy who insisted minneapolis could not have local stations with "w" and "k" prefixes.

Posted by: yankeefifth at October 19, 2013 05:02 PM (Z9EHQ)

246 Was well into adulthood when I finally got the literal meaning of "you can't have your cake and eat it, too". I knew the figurative meaning, but never the literal meaning.

Posted by: Costanza Defense at October 19, 2013 05:02 PM (ZPrif)

247
I didn't really understand how bad cankles could get until I saw Hillary Clinton.

Posted by: Sphynx at October 19, 2013 05:03 PM (cll/q)

248 AC/DC lyrics to Dirty Deeds - thought that "done dirt cheap" was "thunder chief" but I am unclear as to how bad I should feel as it is AC/DC singing.

Posted by: Dandolo at October 19, 2013 05:03 PM (0XBx+)

249 Specialest. Snowflake. Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD, you taunty bitch. at October 19, 2013 09:01 PM (Gk3SS) Empress! I have not seen you in far too long. How goes it?

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at October 19, 2013 05:03 PM (GEICT)

250 I still can't always figure out whether I'm supposed to use "effect" or "affect".

Posted by: Jenny Hates Her Phone at October 19, 2013 05:03 PM (KDui7)

251 Posted by: Hillary Clintonista

Your comments belong in the political threads or it's a banning.

Posted by: Dr Spank at October 19, 2013 05:03 PM (qRasw)

252 Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD, you taunty bitch. at October 19, 2013 09:01 PM (Gk3SS) Amazingly I have some innate knowledge of what direction I'm facing. I've got myself and some friends out of a few scrapes because of it.

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at October 19, 2013 05:03 PM (oFCZn)

253 "Stations west of the M'sippi were grandfathered in when the convention was formalized. For example, Reagan worked at WHO in Des Moines."

See, I knew there were a few but didn't know why.

Posted by: lowandslow at October 19, 2013 05:03 PM (IV4od)

254 239 Hillary Clintonista at October 19, 2013 09:02 PM (zBQD6)

If you're so confident leave the dead in the grave, the cartoons in the DVD section and the black panthers in the club house Hector.

You know I'm here because I like it here asshole how hollow one's life must be to go where they are held by the whole to have to look up to see dogshit.

Posted by: sven10077 at October 19, 2013 05:03 PM (9jfyN)

255 @193

Spell coalition for me, please.

Posted by: irongrampa at October 19, 2013 05:04 PM (SAMxH)

256 so citation x driver, is that the same as sled driver?

Posted by: yankeefifth at October 19, 2013 05:04 PM (Z9EHQ)

257 This one is from my days perusing the Dungeon Master's Guide: I consistently read the word "subtable" as "suitable." Because the DMG would direct me to the "Dragon Suitable" where I would find a listing of a suitable dragon. Right?

Posted by: Pious Agnostic at October 19, 2013 05:04 PM (5xqg/)

258 SO I am watching "Arrow"...

"things sven did not learn until depressingly late in life..."

I just got to where the Huntress makes her second cameo....

does the show get weirder?

Posted by: sven10077 at October 19, 2013 05:05 PM (9jfyN)

259 I grew up on Air Force bases and never saw a garden growing up (except for Grandpa's awesome one in the FL panhandle.

Will never forget how my mother laughed her ass off at me, when I pointed to a jar of pickles on the commissary shelf and said, "MOM! Pickled cucumbers!!!"

Posted by: Jane D'oh at October 19, 2013 05:05 PM (RmtDa)

260 196 I'm ashamed that I still don't know what "douche" has to do with "Blinded By the Light." I always thought it was douchent . I stand corrected . I still have no idea what douchent really means .

Posted by: Bill D. Cat at October 19, 2013 05:05 PM (1jQhu)

261 I am embarrassed to admit that I thought "Joey Biden" wasn't using his real name above.

Posted by: Yancey Ward at October 19, 2013 05:05 PM (RGR0F)

262 Oh- and I pronounce Pakistan "Pock-ee-stahn" Heh. I have never heard anybody, anywhere, pronounce it like that until I heard Obama say it. It sounded like he was some half-weight intellectual who was trying to impress others with his sophistication.

Posted by: OregonMuse at October 19, 2013 05:05 PM (fd0Pp)

263 Nerdy deeds! Done by geeks!

Posted by: HeatherRadish™, drinking heavily at October 19, 2013 05:05 PM (hO8IJ)

264 On the subject of area codes, I'm surprised how many people don't know that broadcast call signs in the U.S. east of the Mississippi start with W and west of it start with K.

Posted by: lowandslow at October 19, 2013 09:00 PM (IV4od)

___________________

Mostly true. Grew up in the Twin Cities. There was a St Paul based station with the call letters KSTP and a Minneapolis Based Station with the call letters WCCO. Of course, St. Paul is east of the River and Mpls is west.

Posted by: Truck Monkey, Gruntled New Business Owner at October 19, 2013 05:06 PM (jucos)

265 I just learned that it's not always a good idea to accept "free" money for someone to take your picture.

Posted by: Obamacare Stock Photo Girl at October 19, 2013 05:06 PM (idRzK)

266 Stations west of the M'sippi were grandfathered To the east, as well. KYW in Philly.

Posted by: t-bird at October 19, 2013 05:06 PM (FcR7P)

267 >>>>I still can't always figure out whether I'm supposed to use "effect" or "affect".>>>>

My punch affected him greatly; the effect of my fist against his lips was to shut him up.

Posted by: Tacky Adhesive at October 19, 2013 05:06 PM (81H5s)

268 245 yankeefifth at October 19, 2013 09:02 PM (Z9EHQ)

or for that matter St Louis Ill/MO the same....

people are amazing in what they know and don't know and don't know but know

Posted by: sven10077 at October 19, 2013 05:07 PM (9jfyN)

269 Wow. The wi-fi in my m-i-l's house sucks ass. Refresh takes forever.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at October 19, 2013 05:07 PM (RmtDa)

270 I've learned that most Nigerian princes do not have $20,000,000.

Posted by: OregonMuse at October 19, 2013 05:07 PM (fd0Pp)

271 Don't get in the meth business no matter how good you are at it.

Posted by: Walter White at October 19, 2013 05:08 PM (VHfsw)

272 266 t-bird at October 19, 2013 09:06 PM (FcR7P)

I always get a kick out of the 3 letter stations...

700 WLW has acted like my lifeline home several dark nights from far far away.

Posted by: sven10077 at October 19, 2013 05:08 PM (9jfyN)

273 Posted by: flounder at October 19, 2013 08:32 PM (Kkt/i) Around here next Monday would be in two days. Monday-week is nine days from now.

Posted by: Golfman in NC at October 19, 2013 05:08 PM (tGM2j)

274 people are amazing in what they know and don't know and don't know but know Posted by: sven10077 yeah it was funny when I explained "well, river"

Posted by: yankeefifth at October 19, 2013 05:08 PM (Z9EHQ)

275 "Want to know how valuable your area was to ATT in the 60's? Add up your area code, 0 is ten."

If it makes you feel better, AT&T's HQ had 27 pulses, and it was still important enough to be on the Ruskie's nuke list.

Posted by: Berlin at October 19, 2013 05:08 PM (ashPd)

276 I didn't know my major required a minor, even after 3 appointments with my advisor, having taken several of his classes, and a number of sememsters taken I'm too embarrased/ashamed to admit.

When you're a loner by choice, there are a lot of disadvantages you don't realize until much later. Looking back, my college experience was a very expensive waste of time.

Posted by: Stan at October 19, 2013 05:08 PM (lKWv9)

277 new Ace post about ignorance up

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at October 19, 2013 05:08 PM (DmNpO)

278 The Twin Cities are not called the Twin Cities because of their baseball team.

Posted by: Truck Monkey, Gruntled New Business Owner at October 19, 2013 05:08 PM (jucos)

279 They have an inferior marriage. Posted by: Colorado Alex ---------------- They have no marriage at all.

Posted by: Mike Hammer at October 19, 2013 05:09 PM (aDwsi)

280 233 On the subject of area codes, I'm surprised how many people don't know that broadcast call signs in the U.S. east of the Mississippi start with W and west of it start with K. True, EXCEPT for two K stations on the East Coast and two W's west of the Mississippi Where would they be? http://tinyurl.com/madwyf

Posted by: Nip Sip at October 19, 2013 05:09 PM (0FSuD)

281 people are amazing in what they know and don't know and don't know but know

I know, y'know?

Posted by: HeatherRadish™, drinking heavily at October 19, 2013 05:09 PM (hO8IJ)

282 Empress! I have not seen you in far too long. How goes it? Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at October 19, 2013 09:03 PM (GEICT)

Ummm.   I have chocolate?

It's been a bad week. *kicks it in shins*

In further Super Genius self-revelations, Boy BFF, because he is my BFF and thus an enormous asshole, takes great delight in taking whatever I'm eating or drinking, holding it over his head and making me hop to get it.   You see, he knows that I won't shinkick and/or throatpunch him at that time because whatever it is will then dump on top of me.   Every time, he does this. Every time, I hop.   This has been going on for nearly 20 years now.

Those of you at NoVaMoMee are picturing this, aren't you?   You're now planning on trying to do this aren't you?   *lies in wait*

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD, you taunty bitch. at October 19, 2013 05:09 PM (Gk3SS)

283 new Ace post about ignorance up ---------------- I did not know that...

Posted by: Mike Hammer at October 19, 2013 05:09 PM (aDwsi)

284 And Ace. You're not the only one with the east-west thing.

Posted by: Golfman in NC at October 19, 2013 05:09 PM (tGM2j)

285 Co blogger Or Cob logger

Posted by: Say What? at October 19, 2013 05:09 PM (3hSf2)

286 I learned that the KKK was founded by Democrats, that Robert Bryd, democrat stalwart, filabustered the Civil Rights act, that Al Gore's father was a segregationist , that Bill Clinton's mentor was a segregationist , that Hillary Clinton has referred to persons as Jewish Bastards, that Jesse Jackson called NYC Hymie Town and finally that democrat Margaret Sanger wanted to sterilize African Americans .

Posted by: Ignorant Liberal at October 19, 2013 05:09 PM (WbOdn)

287 Mississippi River's literal translation is Big River River.

Posted by: Costanza Defense at October 19, 2013 05:10 PM (ZPrif)

288 I've never figured out what law of physics makes a single sock fly out of the dryer door when I open it while it's still running. Resulting in me having to bend over every single time.

Posted by: NCKate at October 19, 2013 05:10 PM (CV9aS)

289 275 Berlin at October 19, 2013 09:08 PM (ashPd)

Hey I am flattered...

My area of Ohio....
9 pulses....

not bad.

Posted by: sven10077 at October 19, 2013 05:10 PM (9jfyN)

290 "The bathroom's on the right" is actually "There's a bad moon on the rise".
Who knew?

Posted by: RokShox at October 19, 2013 08:52 PM (8MMMw)

My wife thought the same thing.

Posted by: Zombie John Gotti at October 19, 2013 05:10 PM (1hekh)

291 I was at an IEP meeting as an advocate with a parent, two administrators, and three teachers. They couldn't form a consensus on what "biweekly" meant: twice a week or once every two weeks. After five minutes of looking on in disbelief I suggested "Fortnightly" Which is two weeks - btw, the term was used because forts were spaced two weeks march apart pre-Revolutionary War. _

Posted by: BumperStickerist at October 19, 2013 05:10 PM (19AvL)

292 287 Costanza Defense at October 19, 2013 09:10 PM (ZPrif)

Rio Grande River is River Big River...

they must be related....

Posted by: sven10077 at October 19, 2013 05:11 PM (9jfyN)

293 When a new tribe takes over land from the old tribe it goes about naming everything. Old tribe already had a name -- like Mississippi -- so new tribe says, ok, Mississippi River. Torpenhow Hill is the best example of this. Tor, pen, and how all mean hill. So it's literally "Hill hill hill hill".

Posted by: Costanza Defense at October 19, 2013 05:12 PM (ZPrif)

294 281 HeatherRadishÂ™, drinking heavily at October 19, 2013 09:09 PM (hO8IJ)

Sweet CAROLINE!

Turning Japanese I really think so....

We're like ambassadors now Ms Radish

Posted by: sven10077 at October 19, 2013 05:12 PM (9jfyN)

295 Colorado River = Red River River

Posted by: Costanza Defense at October 19, 2013 05:13 PM (ZPrif)

296 254

I am not this Hector you seem so obsessed with. Now that we got that clear, I come hereto smash the insular bubble on this blog. It was hysterical seeing people on this site actually believe they were winning the shutdown. Now you are denying how formidable Hillary Clinton is.

I will enjoy the lamentations of people here in November 2016 when Hillary destroyed the tea party controlled Republican Party.

Posted by: Hillary Clintonista at October 19, 2013 05:13 PM (I0x5u)

297 My are code used to be 28 pulses, but they changed it, so now it's down to 10, so I guess that's better.

Posted by: OregonMuse at October 19, 2013 05:13 PM (fd0Pp)

298 I thought "nig.ger" was pronounced nig-gay (the "er" being pronounced the French way as in "Cartier"). It didn't occur to me that I was saying it wrong until I was telling a bunch of nig.gers to get off my property and they acted like they didn't hear me.

Posted by: Billy Bob Barksdale at October 19, 2013 05:14 PM (qNzkX)

299 >>>>I still can't always figure out whether I'm supposed to use "effect" or "affect".>>>>

My punch affected him greatly; the effect of my fist against his lips was to shut him up.
Posted by: Tacky Adhesive at October 19, 2013 09:06 PM (81H5s)

A for action. If it's doing something to something else, it's affect. If not, it's that other one.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD, you taunty bitch. at October 19, 2013 05:14 PM (Gk3SS)

300 Jane - Does the phrase 'Smoldering ruin' have any meaning to you?

Posted by: Mike Hammer at October 19, 2013 05:14 PM (aDwsi)

301 Lake Michigan= Lake Large Lake

Posted by: Costanza Defense at October 19, 2013 05:14 PM (ZPrif)

302

Wherever you go, there you are.

Posted by: Buckaroo Banzai at October 19, 2013 05:15 PM (PaKLC)

303 I had trouble with "Dirty Deeds" for the longest time

Obviously, it's a song about our rock 'n roll laundry... dirty jeans, done dirt-cheap.

Posted by: Bon Scott at October 19, 2013 05:15 PM (qzUE+)

304 298 -- not cool with n-word crap. clean up.

Posted by: Costanza Defense at October 19, 2013 05:15 PM (ZPrif)

305 Ummm. I have chocolate? It's been a bad week. *kicks it in shins* Shall we call for Bannion to release the Ravage? It's been an interesting week here to. Remember when I mentioned that it appeared that I've had strep for a very long time? Yeah, not so much. So now we're thinking bacterial infection and I'm on a different antibiotic. Oh, and this will make you very very happy. Be prepared to laugh at me. Eldest daughter dances for her studio's company team. She had three performances today at two different events. At the second event the owner of the studio comes up to me and asks me to be on the "daddy dance team" for the winter recital coming up. There will be practices and an instructor and all. My response was "Is it actual dancing or a funny thing? Cause I can't dance at all." She said funny, so...I agreed. Made the wife and the eldest very happy. My wife then informed me on the way home that the theme is "Dads vs Instructors". I was set up.

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at October 19, 2013 05:15 PM (GEICT)

306 286

The KKK of old went from Democrats to the Republican party. The tea party is the latest incarnation of the KKK. The Republicans of today are the Democrats of old. Intolerant bigots who can't deal with a changing nation.

Posted by: Hillary Clintonista at October 19, 2013 05:16 PM (VPOn6)

307 It's pronounced "orangutang." I now know there is no "g" at the end...I just like the way it sounds.

Posted by: LexisTexas at October 19, 2013 05:16 PM (kPFAg)

308 From the childhood mistaken belief files: How many thought that the south pole was hot?

I did until I was in grade 4. I was in trouble and the teacher made me read the encyclopedia. Many ideas were lost but much knowledge was learned. I still love Mrs Spell. My most favoritest teach.

Yes ma'am getting the pedia now.

Posted by: Joethefatman™ (@joethefatman1) at October 19, 2013 05:16 PM (MnSla)

309 296 Hillary Clintonista at October 19, 2013 09:13 PM (I0x5u)

Sugar bumps your coalition is built on lies...

go get your shinebox or your kneepads.

Your economy sucks, you post like a fag, and your shit's all retarded.

Posted by: sven10077 at October 19, 2013 05:16 PM (9jfyN)

310 Jane: Whizzing on dead Taliban? Sounds like a good party.

Posted by: CMU VET at October 19, 2013 05:17 PM (ejB0r)

311 I learned rather EARLY in life that everything men do is some form of rape. Is that OT?

Posted by: Amanda Marcotte at October 19, 2013 05:17 PM (x/lJo)

312 Every time, I hop.

Charge him for the show.

Posted by: DaveA at October 19, 2013 05:17 PM (DL2i+)

313 298

Typical tea party Republican showing you racist bigotry. Thanks for making my point about Republicans being racist. It is a shame the party Lincoln has become the Party of the KKK. I can't wait until Hillary Clinton finishes you off in 2016.

Posted by: Hillary Clintonista at October 19, 2013 05:17 PM (UPd/1)

314 My response was "Is it actual dancing or a funny thing? Cause I can't dance at all." She said funny, so...I agreed. Made the wife and the eldest very happy. My wife then informed me on the way home that the theme is "Dads vs Instructors". I was set up. Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at October 19, 2013 09:15 PM (GEICT)

Omg you have to post video. You must.

The Horde must evaluate your commitment to Sparkle Motion.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD, you taunty bitch. at October 19, 2013 05:18 PM (Gk3SS)

315 I think you posted that your own self.

Posted by: Mama winger on her iPad at October 19, 2013 05:18 PM (Vg/fl)

316 Robert Bryd was a Republican? Grand Kleagal Bryd was a big supporter of Hillary. But of course she liked that since he was not a Jewish bastard.

Posted by: Ignorant Liberal at October 19, 2013 05:19 PM (ZFXqT)

317 135 I learned perilously late in life that there is no way to chart out a contented, prosperous life when you live under a government of bandits and hoodlums. Posted by: cthulhu at October 19, 2013 08:44 PM (T1005) This.

Posted by: baldilocks at October 19, 2013 05:20 PM (Tnlh/)

318 310 Jane: Whizzing on dead Taliban? Sounds like a good party.

Posted by: CMU VET at October 19, 2013 09:17 PM (ejB0r)

???

Posted by: Jane D'oh at October 19, 2013 05:20 PM (RmtDa)

319 I didn't know that a woodchuck and groundhog are the same animal. In central NY we called them woodchucks. I knew about Groundhog Day for years, but never made the connection. I shared that on Facebook and others admitted the same thing.

Posted by: John F Not Kerry @jfd1965 at October 19, 2013 05:20 PM (HF2US)

320 'Easy To Swallow Caplets'

Doesn't that depend on which way they go down?

Posted by: gastorgrab at October 19, 2013 05:20 PM (FX38i)

321 309

Our coalition is based on tolerance and respect for all Americans. The Democrats are conservatives and Republicans are reactionary. I have met so many former Republicans who are now Democrats. They did not change their conservative views, it's the Republicans who decided to embrace hate and bigotry.

See comment 298 to see what your party is about.

Posted by: Hillary Clintonista at October 19, 2013 05:20 PM (I0x5u)

322 Gotta go upstairs and make nice with my LIV liberal m-i-l. Bless her heart.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at October 19, 2013 05:20 PM (RmtDa)

323 Just stop it.

Posted by: Mama winger on her iPad at October 19, 2013 05:21 PM (Vg/fl)

324 >>>>I will enjoy the lamentations of people here in November 2016 when Hillary destroyed the tea party controlled Republican Party.>>>>

Is not the English your native tongue?

Posted by: Tacky Adhesive at October 19, 2013 05:21 PM (81H5s)

325 Omg you have to post video. You must. The Horde must evaluate your commitment to Sparkle Motion. Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD, you taunty bitch. at October 19, 2013 09:18 PM (Gk3SS) Lol. I will. The wife will video tape it. My sister has already said she take time off work if she has to and that she's going to video it as well.

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at October 19, 2013 05:21 PM (GEICT)

326 321 Hillary Clintonista at October 19, 2013 09:20 PM (I0x5u)

Right that's why your asshat of the clueless called Condi and Colin Powell such charming things.

Go fuck a chainsaw the problem with your lunatic marxist cult is not the olor or the bed partners involved it is the rank stupidity, neo-luddism, and economic ignorance...

but do go on.

Posted by: sven10077 at October 19, 2013 05:21 PM (9jfyN)

327 Who is that Hillary fellow? He posts like a fag.

Posted by: Bon Scott at October 19, 2013 05:22 PM (qzUE+)

328 >>>>Our coalition is based on tolerance and respect for all Americans.>>>>

Except for people who think differently.

Posted by: Tacky Adhesive at October 19, 2013 05:23 PM (81H5s)

329 Lol. I will. The wife will video tape it. My sister has already said she take time off work if she has to and that she's going to video it as well. Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at October 19, 2013 09:21 PM (GEICT)

*holds up lighter in advance*

There's a new thread, btw. I mean, I know you're trying to be willow and all but I thought I'd tell you.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD, you taunty bitch. at October 19, 2013 05:23 PM (Gk3SS)

330 I also just learned that Hillary was lying when she said she was named after Sir Edmund Hilary.

Posted by: Ignorant Liberal at October 19, 2013 05:24 PM (Xfofp)

331 I learned, and this is relatively late in the sense that I was over 50, I learned that some people actually obtain what are known as "training" and "experience" in highly technical areas like economics, finance, energy exploration, the atmospheric sciences, computer science and medical care. And, as I've come to realize, this training and experience actually makes people competent to weigh in on these matters. In fact, their opinions aren't just hollow pablum. And when they work on a project in their area of specialty, the project a complete joke ass failure. Huh...

Posted by: Barack O'Failure, President of the United States at October 19, 2013 05:24 PM (x/lJo)

332 Jane: I strongly approved.

Posted by: CMU VET at October 19, 2013 05:24 PM (ejB0r)

333 328 Tacky Adhesive at October 19, 2013 09:23 PM (81H5s)

Yup...."uh I respect the free market and think your experts are fucking hubristic retards"

//Blue Dog Democrat

GET THE FUCK OUT!@

//HILLARY!

Posted by: sven10077 at October 19, 2013 05:25 PM (9jfyN)

334 @291 - 'Fortnight' is a Middle English contraction of 'fourteen nights' and has nothing to do with forts.

Posted by: biancaneve at October 19, 2013 05:25 PM (2sR50)

335 327

Gay hatred, thanks for proving my point!

Posted by: Hillary Clintonista at October 19, 2013 05:25 PM (VPOn6)

336 Oh for the love of pete

Posted by: Mama winger on her iPad at October 19, 2013 05:26 PM (Vg/fl)

337 328

The Democrat Party is composed of conservatives, moderates and liberals. We have a diversity of ideas and represent the full spectrum of America.

Posted by: Hillary Clintonista at October 19, 2013 05:26 PM (I0x5u)

338 For being a "word person," I am embarrassingly slow on the uptake of plays on words, or ordinary English words of which I know the definition, but don't realize till forever that they are part of a longer word, or a longer version of a word, that means the same. Hard to give an example of that, but here's one embarrassing one just from today: "Daddy Warbucks" of _Annie._ I vaguely knew it was an indicator that he was rich ("bucks") but never parsed the word. War-bucks--it's a slur implying he got rich profiteering on stuff during the war. Didn't get this till the Fug Girls noted that the name of Jamie Foxx's character in an _Annie_ remake is not "Daddy Warbucks" but "Benjamin Stacks." Hahaha.

Posted by: Anwyn at October 19, 2013 05:27 PM (uh+QG)

339 I've just learned that if ignorant, hate-filled Hillary groupies say that their coalition is based on tolerance and respect for all Americans, they're lying through their teeth like they always do.

Posted by: OregonMuse at October 19, 2013 05:27 PM (fd0Pp)

340 It took 26 years before "it's all fun and games until someone loses an eye" meant anything to me.

Posted by: OneEyedJack at October 19, 2013 05:27 PM (agLwc)

341 337 Hillary Clintonista at October 19, 2013 09:26 PM (I0x5u)

We got all kinds of folk...

all the way from union boys to socialists to communists...

see?

Diversity!

Again go fuck a chainsaw.

Posted by: sven10077 at October 19, 2013 05:27 PM (9jfyN)

342 When I was in my late twenties, I wanted to know what was in capers. I looked at the back of the bottle, and it said "Ingredients: Capers".

Posted by: Haiku Guy at October 19, 2013 05:28 PM (fgviU)

343 335

Faggotry! Thanks for proving my point!

Posted by: Bon Scott at October 19, 2013 05:29 PM (qzUE+)

344 I just learned my insurance premiums just increased by 300% because of Obamacare.

Posted by: Ignorant Liberal at October 19, 2013 05:29 PM (Xfofp)

345 Torpenhow Hill is the best example of this.

Tor, pen, and how all mean hill.

So it's literally "Hill hill hill hill".

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

I thought "how" meant "hello."

Posted by: Sister Mary Catherine at October 19, 2013 05:29 PM (vbnHZ)

346 326

I saw the racism directed at Rubio becasue he wanted a humane solution for immigration. It was very revealing how Republicans treated a minority who left the reservation. Your party is intolerant and racist. The anti-Gay name calling here and #298 are just proof of what the Republican Party represents.

Posted by: Hillary Clintonista at October 19, 2013 05:30 PM (VPOn6)

347 Again go fuck a chainsaw.

Since we're going to be paying for its healthcare lets rephrase that.

Posted by: DaveA at October 19, 2013 05:30 PM (DL2i+)

348 Too many Jew Bastards post on this site.

Posted by: Hillary Clinton at October 19, 2013 05:30 PM (Xfofp)

349 I once thought that. Abdul Al Hazred's Necronomicon was a real book,most of the other books mentioned in the Lovecraft stories too.

Posted by: steevy at October 19, 2013 05:31 PM (RQCJm)

350 It is Saturday Night and I am going to go out and enjoy myself. The rest of you will stay here railing how unfair life is and that America has too many Blacks, Gays, Young People, Single Mothers, Latinos.

It's great being a Democrat!

Posted by: Hillary Clintonista at October 19, 2013 05:32 PM (VPOn6)

351 346 Hillary Clintonista at October 19, 2013 09:30 PM (VPOn6)

Yeah I notice you cocksuckers got pretty hard on Joe Lieberman....

I also notice you had a lot of Nazi flags at your Code Pinko rallies...

guilt by association?

Yeah you really don't want to go there Hillary!Fan....

Posted by: sven10077 at October 19, 2013 05:32 PM (9jfyN)

352 Want to know how valuable your area was to ATT in the 60's? Add up your area code, 0 is ten.

704=21 pulses. 919=20 pluses.

Shit you need to know that is worthless.

****

904 here.

*sigh* Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse

DC - 202

Posted by: Jean at October 19, 2013 05:32 PM (CMlD4)

353 347 DaveA at October 19, 2013 09:30 PM (DL2i+)

I'm hoping Hillary! there has the courage of her convictions and tests Comrade Momjeans' Wonderful System....

hey sweetie go for multiple orgasms....

Posted by: sven10077 at October 19, 2013 05:33 PM (9jfyN)

354 When you go out tonight don't forget your EBT card.

Posted by: Hillary Clinton at October 19, 2013 05:33 PM (Xfofp)

355 It is Saturday Night and I am going to go out and enjoy myself.

Take some extra paper towels, I heard erg left a mess at the glory hole.

Posted by: Jean at October 19, 2013 05:36 PM (CMlD4)

356 That is a genuinely tedious troll we were assigned today.

Posted by: Mr. Dave at October 19, 2013 05:37 PM (hsTmJ)

357 355 Jean at October 19, 2013 09:36 PM (CMlD4)

I do sometimes wonder....

Yector has to go blow his wife...and of course Gerg of the Glory Hole...

Yector heats Gerg?

Posted by: sven10077 at October 19, 2013 05:38 PM (9jfyN)

358 Hey there, Trollboy! Still trying to persuade yourself that you're not a pathetic piece of shit, I see.

Posted by: Trimegistus at October 19, 2013 05:38 PM (Uzdb3)

359 You are admirable Ace because you admit that you did not know something, or made a mistake. That is an attribute which has been consistently reflected on this site.

I forget the name of the recent internet article by an author I also forget (VDH?) who made the point (among others) that non-Leftists look to the past to learn and Leftists (who disdain the past) look to the shimmery future to judge others on the basis on intention, and to justify their (the Leftists') disregard for objective reality (aka the Truth).

Putting aside all ideology and predilections (wherever it is found) it seems as if the two classes of people in the world are those who honor the truth, and who struggle to understand it, and those who regard the truth at best as an inconvenience and at worst as a convenient tool.

Posted by: Tonawanda at October 19, 2013 05:38 PM (mE1l+)

360 328

The Democrat Party is composed of conservatives, moderates and liberals. We have a diversity of ideas and represent the full spectrum of America.

Posted by: Hillary Clintonista at October 19, 2013 09:26 PM (I0x5u)

_______________

Yeah.... moderates like Joe Lieberman..... oh wait....

Posted by: Truck Monkey, Gruntled New Business Owner at October 19, 2013 05:38 PM (jucos)

361 "337 328

The Democrat Party is composed of conservatives, moderates and liberals. We have a diversity of ideas and represent the full spectrum of America."

remind me again who wouldn't let the anti arbortion guy speak at a convention a few years ago?

Posted by: flashbazzbo, s.e. at October 19, 2013 05:39 PM (2yZsg)

362

I grew up on the East Coast. To me, East means heading out into the Atlantic and West means heading inland. Now I live on the West Coast and have to make a conscious effort to remember that these are reversed here. Every. Freaking. Time.

Even worse -- when I was a very small kid I was told over and over that all rivers flow to the sea. Then when I would see a map I would look at all the rivers connected to the sea and wonder how come they weren't full of salt water -- speculated that the plants and dead branches and tree trunks in the rivers filtered out the salt somehow. Derp.

Posted by: Wm T Sherman at October 19, 2013 05:39 PM (rNCEP)

363 "Let them eat cake!"

Never could understand what was wrong with that. Until I learned about a year ago that the cake Marie A. was talking about was creosote build-up in ovens.

Posted by: Sister Mary Catherine at October 19, 2013 05:41 PM (vbnHZ)

364 189 I was 34 years old when I looked at my watch and had an epiphany that the second hand was called that because it counted seconds. I can't tell you how many times before that I silently wondered why it wasn't called the third hand. duh!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I lol'd.

Posted by: Sister Mary Catherine at October 19, 2013 05:42 PM (vbnHZ)

365 350 It is Saturday Night and I am going to go out and enjoy myself. The rest of you will stay here railing how unfair life is and that America has too many Blacks, Gays, Young People, Single Mothers, Latinos.

It's great being a Democrat!

Posted by: Hillary Clintonista at October 19, 2013 09:32 PM (VPOn6)

===

That's nice honey. Now, you see that -- yeah, that right there -- yeah, that's dogshit. You are not supposed to be eating that. Please stop eating the dogshit. It really repulses people when they see you eating the dogshit and it makes everyone think you are stupid. So, please stop eating it now.

Here, have a juice box. Now run along and go play.

Posted by: jc at October 19, 2013 05:43 PM (PlzOe)

366 Ignorance? Stuff learned late in life? Does being married 29 1/2 years and just learning your wife is having an affair and wants a divorce count? Yeah, I'm ignorant.

Posted by: Jrr at October 19, 2013 05:44 PM (BdVar)

367 363 "Let them eat cake!"

Never could understand what was wrong with that. Until I learned about a year ago that the cake Marie A. was talking about was creosote build-up in ovens.

Posted by: Sister Mary Catherine at October 19, 2013 09:41 PM (vbnHZ)

I hadn't heard that version.

Posted by: Joethefatman™ (@joethefatman1) at October 19, 2013 05:45 PM (MnSla)

368 When I was in my late twenties, I wanted to know what was in capers.

Capers are pickled nasturtium buds. I learned this in my earlier twenties from my mother. I also learned relatively recently that coriander is the seed of cilantro.

Posted by: no good deed at October 19, 2013 05:45 PM (k55Fc)

369 I was an adult before I figgered out that Piglet's grandfather was not really Trespassers William. When I was a kid, it never occurred to me that the pig was lying.

Posted by: jc at October 19, 2013 05:46 PM (PlzOe)

370
I hadn't heard that version.

Posted by: JoethefatmanÂ™ (@joethefatman1) at October 19, 2013 09:45 PM (MnSla)

The version that I've heard was that she was suggesting that the bakers be forced to sell the more expensive baked goods to the poor at a loss. Also, that she never actually said "Let them eat cake" and that instead it was propaganda.

Posted by: Colorado Alex at October 19, 2013 05:50 PM (lr3d7)

371 Vancouver, Washington and Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada. Both cities are in adjacent countries. Both cities are on a border. Obviously Vancouver, WA is just across the border from Vancouver, Canada. so obvious you don't need to look at a map. (dum, dum, dummmmm) A long time ago, I drove from Los Angeles to Odessa, WA to visit relatives. After 1 days drive I was 100s of mile short of where I wanted to be. So the next day I resolved to drive straight through until I made it to Odessa (in central Wash). That was a long ass drive. I only made it to the Oregon/Wash border around midnight and I was one crazed emmer effer by that point. But I knew which roads to take and kept going. Suddenly, I was in Vancouver. Did I just drive through the entire state of Washington in my sleep?!?[/b/ I pulled over. Studied my map. There was the Great Big City of Vancouver - right at the edge of Canada. And I was in Vancouver. After a while I noticed the US version of Vancouver was on the OREGON/Washington border. That's just not fair. Made it to Odessa 8-9 hours later.

Posted by: Comrade Arthur at October 19, 2013 05:51 PM (83xuc)

372 Iodine in salt is to prevent goiter not to prevent clumping. magnesium carbonate is added to keep it pouring

Posted by: tmitsss at October 19, 2013 05:51 PM (aVsJj)

373 ooops

Posted by: Comrade Arthur at October 19, 2013 05:51 PM (83xuc)

374 I grew up on the East Coast. To me, East means heading out into the Atlanticand West means heading inland. Now I live on the West Coast and have to make a conscious effort to remember that these are reversed here. Every. Freaking. Time.

I grew up where all the rivers flow to the southeast; I get disoriented when I find myself somewhere they flow to the north or the west...I know water goes from high elevation to low elevation, but walking by the Isar I expected downstream to be south instead of north and got terribly lost. Lol.

Posted by: HeatherRadish™, drinking heavily at October 19, 2013 05:53 PM (hO8IJ)

375 BTW, Latitude vs. Longitude? Lat Is Flat. Never got oonfused after that. (works only if you think flat means left to right on a map)

Posted by: Comrade Arthur at October 19, 2013 05:53 PM (83xuc)

376 As a kid I heard the chant of the Wicked Witch of the Wests' guards-"Oh wee oh, wee oh...oh".

Recently I realized the Communist intonation. "All we own, we alllll own".

Posted by: Corona at October 19, 2013 05:54 PM (fh2Y7)

377 The troll is posting from Thailand, that's why their English is so stilted and weird.

Posted by: Purp[/i][/b][/u][/s] at October 19, 2013 05:54 PM (l5zzX)

378 @9 TXMarko - Let me help you with that. Latitude = Flatitude. Does that help?

Posted by: MathMom at October 19, 2013 05:57 PM (9vYhK)

379 I was once capable of giving fucks.

Posted by: chaz at October 19, 2013 06:07 PM (sSNkG)

380 148 My into to how just ultimately moronic the average person is came thanks to "I know what you did last summer." In the movie the characters drive along a sea side highway with cliffs. The movie was filmed in Southport NC. Flat. Flat. Flat coastal plane. I was walking across a parking lot and a dude and two girls in a car stopped me. "Hey man, do you know where the cliffs are?" Me, "the cliffs? Is that like a rental condo or something?" "No, the cliffs that they drive on in that movie "I know what you did last summer." I couldn't even say words. I just pointed and turned in a circle at the complete flatness that surrounded us. I gained some composure, "dude, it's flat here, the closest cliffs are hundreds of miles away." He, "it was in the movie." Me, "it was a MOVIE!"

Posted by: traye at October 19, 2013 06:10 PM (6iT0U)

381 So "tinyurl" isn't pronounced "tin-yurl?"

Posted by: Jim Flimsey at October 19, 2013 06:23 PM (T9V22)

382 Posted by: Comrade Arthur at October 19, 2013 09:51 PM (83xuc Damn, dude, what were you driving? A detuned Model T?

Posted by: Bill H at October 19, 2013 06:32 PM (3sZO1)

383 I remember being upset to learn that Jesus spoke Aramaic and not Hebrew as an everyday language as I'd thought; I'd been a Christian for like 5 years and hadn't realized it. I got over it by reminding myself that Jesus did speak Hebrew in synagogue.

And on a completely different note: I only just learned that Barbara Stanwyck & Robert Taylor were married for years -- she's one of my fave actresses and I felt silly not knowing she had a famous husband. My excuse is that I didn't know who Taylor was until several years ago so if I ever heard who she was married to I wouldn't have recognized the name.

Posted by: Aslan's Girl at October 19, 2013 06:43 PM (KL49F)

384 Posted by: Comrade Arthur at October 19, 2013 09:53 PM (83xuc)

I've always gone with, "Longitudinal lines run through the north and south poles."

Posted by: Dusty at October 19, 2013 06:44 PM (KR2Ca)

385 I remember which way longitude is because it's "long", i.e. longways is north-south, imo.

Posted by: Aslan's Girl at October 19, 2013 06:46 PM (KL49F)

386 At an embarrasingly late young age, I was surprised to learn that football players wore padding etc. I thought they were built like that. Sadly, a true story.

Posted by: gracepmc at October 19, 2013 06:50 PM (rznx3)

387 I thought the Redskins played in Washington state until I was like 20. Also, I never know which slash is forward slash and which one is back slash, which I think is obvious to most other people.

Posted by: Lilikoi at October 19, 2013 06:50 PM (8J+YJ)

388 48 "I still fuck up my right and left."

My ex used "driver's side" for left and "passenger side" for right.

Posted by: Miley's Tongue at October 19, 2013 06:51 PM (R+h7Q)

389 Posted by: WaitingForMartel at October 19, 2013 08:26 PM (hir7W)

LOL! I have a hard time still... my mom says it's because I'm lefty and lefties have a hard time. I think lefties have a hard time because we have to be somewhat ambi to survive. For instance, I HAVE to use my right hand a lot (scissors, etc) and I've developed my right-hand muscles pretty good. I remember when I was little, I'd spilled a little green paint on my right shoe in art class and that was how I knew which side was which.

Posted by: Aslan's Girl at October 19, 2013 06:57 PM (KL49F)

390 55
Did you also grow a vagina, like Alda?

63 I only recently learned the meaning of "Nicklefucker".

Is that an inflationary version of "penny pincher"?

Posted by: Miley's Tongue at October 19, 2013 07:01 PM (R+h7Q)

391 I raised two boys and then a girl. Girls are easier until they hit puberty. Then it's like living with a demon who loves to shop.

Posted by: Lucky Pierre at October 19, 2013 07:02 PM (5fSr7)

392 I was in my 20's before I learned that spooge didn't help you lose weight.

Posted by: Monica L. at October 19, 2013 07:04 PM (5fSr7)

393 I was in my twenties before it occurred to me that the Bible was originally written in three languages, none of them being Latin.

Posted by: baldilocks at October 19, 2013 07:05 PM (Tnlh/)

394 I never knew there was an animal called the marten until just a few years ago while flipping through a nature book. They are one of THE world's cutest animals (especially the North American kind) and I fell totally in love with them, but it bugged the mud out of me that I didn't know of their existence before that. I realized that they are NEVER depicted in books or illustrations like raccoons or bunnies and that makes me sad. Later of course I realized they are mentioned, but only in reference to things made out of their fur not when they're alive.

Posted by: Aslan's Girl at October 19, 2013 07:07 PM (KL49F)

395

The "door" to your gas tank has a spot on it for holding the gas cap.

Learned that a couple months ago. Changed my life.

Posted by: 29Victor at October 19, 2013 07:31 PM (ES9R7)

396 382 Posted by: Comrade Arthur at October 19, 2013 09:51 PM (83xuc > Damn, dude, what were you driving? A detuned Model T? Posted by: Bill H Dude. Bottom to top of the US in 2 days? That's not bad. A Fiat 128SL* and I kept stopping to do tourist things in the day time. 1300ccs of Italian MUSCLE!! Almost 80 hp!!!!!!

Posted by: Comrade Arthur at October 19, 2013 07:37 PM (83xuc)

397 Two true things that are sure to sound made up:

1. In my first few years attending Immaculate Conception School, I figured that since I went to Catholic School and attended a Catholic Church, those kids going to Public School must be going to Public Church on Sundays.

2. As a young lad living in NJ, never having seen a mountain, and only having seen simple drawings rather than an actual photo of Mt. Rushmore, I thought at first that Mt. Rushmore was a natural formation that just happened to be in the shape of four U.S. Presidents!

Hand to God.

Posted by: Z as in Jersey at October 19, 2013 07:37 PM (A1UEK)

398 Upper Egypt is South, Lower Egypt is North, that gets me.

Posted by: bour3 at October 19, 2013 08:03 PM (5x3+2)

399 2. As a young lad living in NJ, never having seen a mountain, and only having seen simple drawings rather than an actual photo of Mt. Rushmore, I thought at first that Mt. Rushmore was a natural formation that just happened to be in the shape of four U.S. Presidents!
Posted by: Z as in Jersey at October 19, 2013 11:37 PM (A1UEK)
- - - - - -
I know a very smart woman who believed the same thing in high school.

Posted by: Hepcat at October 19, 2013 08:20 PM (Q4mug)

400

In my late 20s, I visited my great-aunt in Louisiana. She compared my appearance to my father's. I realized:

The phrase "spittin' image" has nothing to do with expulsion of saliva. It's actually "spirit and image", spoken in a deep southern drawl. That makes much more sense, and is less yucky.

Posted by: Whiggish Boffin at October 19, 2013 08:24 PM (4r6bf)

401 #102 Me, too. It scared the crap out of me that armed gorillas were loose in Central America in the 1970's. How did they get the guns? How did they know how to use guns? Were they going to migrate north (like killer bees) and threaten the United States?!?!

Posted by: Beorn at October 19, 2013 08:49 PM (KyRGt)

402 #401 I think jumping from secular to non-secular is really just a non sequitur.

Posted by: Beorn at October 19, 2013 08:51 PM (KyRGt)

403 My shame: I'm 37 and still haven't figured out how to blow bubbles with bubble gum. I guess I can never spread the gum out against the back of my teeth correctly, because I always end up spitting out the gum when I try to blow a bubble.

Posted by: JimLennon at October 19, 2013 09:38 PM (WOZgF)

404

out damned previous LUN

Posted by: RokShox at October 19, 2013 10:32 PM (8MMMw)

405 ________________________

Ace,

I am proudly "Guilty" of loving (absolutely adoring) some 80's music.

Who is going to actually list a major deficit in his intellectual capacity? Not me - I'm just going to try to identify and remedy any such lack.
Yes, I too sometimes confuse my Easts & Wests. So what?

Please take a gander at my latest comment (just added in the last few minutes) to your previous post on American decline causing a reduction in government.

Posted by: _Dave_ at October 19, 2013 10:53 PM (J+Q+d)

406 Area code for south Jersey: 609 = 25 figures...

Posted by: Former SSG at October 19, 2013 11:39 PM (09zZe)

407 It wasn't until I reached the age of 32 that I learned that not everything heated in the microwave had to be cooked on full power.

Posted by: stripes at October 20, 2013 12:23 AM (U82B3)

408

When my sister was in college, she spoke up in her psychology class and pronouned the word 'pseudo' as 'puh-sway-doh' because she had never heard it spoken.

Then she made the fatal mistake of coming home and telling us.

Posted by: Jaclyn at October 20, 2013 02:26 AM (ocU5X)

409 Everytime the radio would talk about UCONN games I would think -- Yukon, Canada has American football and basketball teams?

Posted by: NaCly Dog at October 20, 2013 03:09 AM (u82oZ)

410 After I first saw "Monty Python and the Holy Grail", I regaled my friends (at a conservative Christian college) with tales of the scenes in it, including the "Castle Anthrax" vignette. The only thing that saved me from mortal embarrassment was that it was YEARS later before I learned that "oral sex" didn't mean kissing.

Posted by: Calvin Dodge at October 20, 2013 03:13 AM (JTaw8)

411 I've always said and written 'further' instead of farther. Farther sounds so tinny. Further is a woody sort of word.

Posted by: Corona at October 20, 2013 04:05 AM (fh2Y7)

412 Regarding East/West, Ace, think of the Prime Meridian and go each way from there. Then the terms "Middle East" and "Far East" and "Western Hemisphere" will start to make sense.

Posted by: John Casteel at October 20, 2013 04:40 AM (Gxwot)

413 I had a friend growing up-- we were in our early teens at the time, so this doesn't really count-- but he was convinced that one of the most significant battles of earlly World War II was the Battle of Blitzer Creek. I had the joy of informing him that he was confusing that one with the German for Lightning War.

Posted by: terry at October 20, 2013 04:45 AM (RrhHR)

414 Flammable/inflammable. And that Van Halen wasn't singing "Canada". I wondered (until I was like 25) what was so exciting/dramatic about Canada. It wasn't until I attempted to sing a tiny bit of the song for a group of friends, to explain which song I was referring to, that my mistake was corrected. Again. And again. And again. "Panama" doesn't make that much more sense in my opinion, though.

Posted by: Terminus Vex at October 20, 2013 06:08 AM (w9WAm)

415 The most important thing in life is having , meeting and overcoming challenges.

Posted by: LeBron Steinman at October 20, 2013 09:12 AM (gxNsU)

416 When you look at a map it's always spells "WE" not EWWWW. So just always orient yourself to the word "WE" and then know that north is always up and south is down. "WE" are reading a map. West to East California to New York Left to Right like reading.

Posted by: Micihgan and Oiho at October 20, 2013 09:13 AM (7Fgan)

417 I pretty much always knew,like everything. Except commas-- is that comma right? Dagnabit...

Posted by: God at October 20, 2013 09:36 AM (uNd+K)

418 Of course, don't read your map upside down, cuz then you're screwed.

Posted by: Micihgan and Oiho at October 20, 2013 09:38 AM (7Fgan)

419 My mom is from the congo, that and the fact that I might have saved the life of a guy from german east africa pretty well nails it for me.

Posted by: Theophil at October 20, 2013 07:22 PM (ycXry)

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