Ace of Spades HQ

December 04, 2013

Container of Radioactive Material Stolen In Mexico Found.... But Found Empty
— Ace

A cargo truck ferrying dangerously radioactive material was hijacked in Mexico.

The truck was carrying a metal container of cobalt-60 headed to a nuclear waste facility in the state of Mexico, said Juan Eibenschutz, director general of the National Commission of Nuclear Safety and Safeguards....
Direct exposure would result in death within a few minutes, he added.
"This is a radioactive source that is very strong," Eibenschutz told The Associated Press on Wednesday, adding that is can be almost immediately fatal, depending on proximity. "The intensity is very big if it is broken."
Eibenschutz didn't know the exact weight, but that it was the largest amount stolen in recent memory, and the intensity of the material caused the alert. Local, state and federal authorities, including the military, are searching for the tr
...
The thieves likely didn't know what the truck was carrying, he said, and may have discarded the metal container, which he said is about a meter square.

Yeah, the update casts doubt on that appraisal.

"If someone finds a big chunk of metal with radiation symbols all over it, they should notify us immediately and don't open it," Eibenschutz said.

Hm-hm.

The driver of the truck was doing his level-best to combat stereotypes about Mexicans when he was hijacked:

He said told authorities he was sleeping in the truck when two men armed with a gun approached about 1:30 a.m. Tuesday.

Authorities have now found the container which formerly held the radioactive material -- but the container was empty.

Awesome. RT @AP: BREAKING: Mexican nuclear official say stolen container of radioactive material found empty.
— Matt (@Matthops82) December 4, 2013

Why would they take the material out of the container? Given that the container exists to shield nearby people from lethal radiation?

That's extremely dangerous. Either leave the container behind if you don't want it at all, or, if you're looking to sell the material, keep it in the container as you move it.

I can only think of one reason for moving the material out of the container: Because they suspected (wrongly, it turns out) that the container had some kind of electronic tracker in it. So they swapped the radioactive material into their own container.

Which is alarming. Because that means they cane prepared, and were looking specifically for nuclear material. Which means they have specific plans for the material.

Update: My alarmism might have been premature. I had skipped this story, based on the 24 hour rule, but became alarmed to hear it had been moved out of its containers.

Now I see Brandon Darby tweeting the material itself has been found 1 kilometer from the container:

Whew. RT @BreakingNews: Stolen radioactive material found about 1 kilometer from its container in Mexico, official says - @NBCNews, @AFP
— Ken Gardner (@kesgardner) December 4, 2013

I'm not sure that update is accurate, though: The FoxNews piece, stating that the container was found but not the material it once held, is very recent (updated three minutes ago as I type this). So I don't know about this new claim that the material has been recovered as well.

Update: Live on FoxNews, they're saying the container was found empty, but not the material, which is what I originally thought. I think this tweet about the material being found is just wrong, or at least it's unconfirmed.

BBC: Material Has Been Found, But "Its Condition Remains Unclear." What does that mean? I have no idea myself.

Updated Again: FoxNews Reports Mexican Officials Saying the Material Has Been Recovered.

Stolen radioactive material in Mexico has been recovered and there's no risk to the surrounding population, a Mexican official tells The AP
— Bret Baier (@BretBaier) December 4, 2013

Posted by: Ace at 02:30 PM | Comments (286)
Post contains 643 words, total size 5 kb.

1 Islamic science has proven that radioactive material rubbed on one's genitals makes one highly attractive to goats.

Posted by: Moderate Muslim at December 04, 2013 02:33 PM (i9vov)

2 Our best men are on the case! Military also. http://tinyurl.com/c62hqt

Posted by: Barry, Chom leader at December 04, 2013 02:33 PM (0FSuD)

Good thing we have that "virtual fence" to keep it out of the US!

Posted by: buzz at December 04, 2013 02:34 PM (i27M5)

4 1 Islamic science has proven that radioactive material rubbed on one's genitals makes one highly attractive to goats. Posted by: Moderate Muslim at December 04, 2013 06:33 PM (i9vov) That works for me.

Posted by: The Chicken at December 04, 2013 02:34 PM (0FSuD)

5 I apologize for going OT within the first ten comments, but I just got word from my husband.

It looks like my almost 85 year old father-in-law is in the end stage of his life. He's been experiencing shortness of breath and feeling sick for over a week. My husband took him to the cardiologist who said he has both aortic and mitral valve disease, kidney failure, lung issues and he's too sick to operate on. They sent him home with Xanax to keep him from hyperventilating and told him that's all they can do.

This isn't a surprise, considering he's been living on borrowed time since 2006 when he had a heart attack, then quadruple bypass surgery where he coded twice and was so bad that they were at the point to just keeping him comfortable until he passed. He's been up and down (more down than up) since then and slowly getting worse in the past year.

Miracles can and do happen, but at this point I'm not even sure it would be for the best. Just pray that whatever happens, live or die, he can find relief from the suffering he's been going through.

Posted by: DangerGirl, home sweet home at December 04, 2013 02:34 PM (GrtrJ)

6 ISRAEL!!

Posted by: Hezbollah at December 04, 2013 02:34 PM (Kkt/i)

7 A trucker sleeping at 1:30am!? Outrageous!

Posted by: ChrisValentine at December 04, 2013 02:35 PM (42vqa)

8 "two men armed with a gun"

Must be a damn big gun if it takes two men to carry it.

I think I might want one.

Posted by: Dang at December 04, 2013 02:35 PM (YWXTN)

Mexico.

America's Hemorrhoid.

Posted by: garrett at December 04, 2013 02:36 PM (g4KRj)

10 WH to blame it on a video in 3, 2, 1...

Posted by: rockhead at December 04, 2013 02:36 PM (jtTKf)

11 Are they sure this isn't just an advance script of a South Park episode?

Posted by: LC LaWedgie at December 04, 2013 02:36 PM (KQp38)

12 Maybe. I remember reading about an incident somewhere in Latin America years ago where medical waste radioactive material was removed from its container. A lot of people developed radiation sickness. They had no idea what it was, but were fascinated by its blue glow.

Posted by: rickl at December 04, 2013 02:36 PM (sdi6R)

13 Operation Fast and Fusion.

Wasn't me.

Posted by: Eric Holder at December 04, 2013 02:36 PM (bvtgt)

14 Bastard Tea Partiers!!!

Posted by: Meathammer at December 04, 2013 02:36 PM (W2qJe)

15 "Which means they have specific plans for the material."

Hand warmers.

Posted by: Dang at December 04, 2013 02:37 PM (YWXTN)

16 Posted by: DangerGirl, home sweet home at December 04, 2013 06:34 PM (GrtrJ) I'm praying for miracles and comfort for your father-in-law and your family.

Posted by: Mindy at December 04, 2013 02:37 PM (lCBX+)

17 This is not the nuclear waste heap to die on, fellas.

Posted by: jakeman at December 04, 2013 02:37 PM (vH4YP)

18 You know who I blame? George Bush //Barky

Posted by: sven10077 at December 04, 2013 02:37 PM (9jfyN)

19 There's that stupid video playing in the lower right corner again. I only get it once in a while. Thankfully there's no sound.

Posted by: rickl at December 04, 2013 02:37 PM (sdi6R)

20 Empty container of radioactive material. In Mexico. What could possibly go wrong?

Posted by: mpfs at December 04, 2013 02:38 PM (x8AwZ)

21 Mexico.
America's Hemorrhoid.

Posted by: garrett at December 04, 2013 06:36 PM (g4KRj)

Yeah, pretty much.

Posted by: Berserker- Dragonheads Division at December 04, 2013 02:38 PM (FMbng)

22 Did this happen on Alfred Hitchcock Present's one time? Something black and white.

Posted by: Dave M at December 04, 2013 02:38 PM (B/nX3)

23 "Which means they have specific plans for the material."

Glow in the dark sheep.

Posted by: Derpa Derpa at December 04, 2013 02:38 PM (Kkt/i)

24 Ace, you forgot to factor in stupid.

Posted by: FLHRSE5 at December 04, 2013 02:38 PM (84b7V)

25 I think they found it

*whew*

Posted by: Albie Damned at December 04, 2013 02:38 PM (cGaCp)

26 Two men had a gun in Mexico? Not possible. Guns are illegal in Mexico.

Posted by: mpfs at December 04, 2013 02:39 PM (x8AwZ)

27 Fuck yeah!!!!

http://tinyurl.com/mdzsja6

Posted by: Albie Damned at December 04, 2013 02:39 PM (cGaCp)

28 Puddle of goo that used to be the hijackers found 1 km beyond the abandoned cobalt-60.

Posted by: stuiec at December 04, 2013 02:39 PM (eetvJ)

29 The nuclear material will show up on Tijuana food carts keeping the nacho cheese all melty.

Posted by: Dang at December 04, 2013 02:39 PM (YWXTN)

30 I think it was a case of: "That container has crazy marking on it. I bet they hid drugs inside. *opens* Hey, you think we can snort this glowing shit? Throw it in a pillow case in the back of your El Camino!"

Posted by: wooga at December 04, 2013 02:39 PM (z9q+b)

31 Obama's most lasting legacy will be his 9-11.

Posted by: dirty bomber at December 04, 2013 02:40 PM (yhJhK)

32 5 Danger Girl, God bless and keep him, and prayers to you and your spouse. It is never an easy thing, I know you'll support your spouse in their time of need.

Posted by: sven10077 at December 04, 2013 02:40 PM (9jfyN)

33 22 Did this happen on Alfred Hitchcock Present's one time? Something black and white.

Posted by: Dave M at December 04, 2013 06:38 PM (B/nX3)

That was anthrax.

Posted by: stuiec at December 04, 2013 02:40 PM (eetvJ)

34 That stuff could be halfway to Salt Lake City by now.

I used the word "stuff" in place of the word kerkjrv90DIRTYBOMB because mjdeNSAhgfrkfj.

Merry Xmas!

Posted by: 13times at December 04, 2013 02:40 PM (fGPLK)

35 "Which means they have specific plans for the material."

Glow in the dark wheel rims.

Posted by: Dang at December 04, 2013 02:41 PM (YWXTN)

" but that it was the largest amount stolen in recent memory "

Uhhhh , Uhhh ?

Posted by: The Jackhole at December 04, 2013 02:41 PM (nTgAI)

37 Now you know how that blue glow in the dark meth is made...

Posted by: Purp[/i][/b][/s] at December 04, 2013 02:41 PM (L0b3J)

38 I'm sure the folks who took it are mostly peaceful.

Posted by: teej at December 04, 2013 02:42 PM (AoY8i)

39 30 I think it was a case of: "That container has crazy marking on it. I bet they hid drugs inside. *opens* Hey, you think we can snort this glowing shit? Throw it in a pillow case in the back of your El Camino!" Posted by: wooga at December 04, 2013 06:39 PM (z9q+b) _________ Yep. That's what I thought too....they stole the truck but didn't realize what was in. Then opened it up thought, hmmm, this could be valuable. Then realized, holy shit, I don't care how much money this is worth, I ain't dealing with radioactive material.

Posted by: Mr. Moo Moo at December 04, 2013 02:42 PM (QI9SE)

40 Eibenschutz didn't know the exact weight, but that it was the largest amount stolen in recent memory, I bet their memories are short, kazowyy!!

Posted by: mbruce at December 04, 2013 02:42 PM (Hx3jP)

41 Thank you Mindy & sven.

Posted by: DangerGirl, home sweet home at December 04, 2013 02:42 PM (GrtrJ)

42 But Mexico was socialist and anti-religious for 80 solid years under the PRI. How can it possibly be a shithole?

Posted by: Naes1984 at December 04, 2013 02:43 PM (zeV2E)

43 I see nothing at all alarming about any of these acts. I'm not inclined to investigate.

Posted by: Eric Holder at December 04, 2013 02:43 PM (W2qJe)

44 Mindy AND sven. Damn Pixy.

Posted by: DangerGirl, home sweet home at December 04, 2013 02:43 PM (GrtrJ)

45 Well, it's a damn good thing this country is a sanctuary country with open borders, now isn't it........

Posted by: © Sponge at December 04, 2013 02:43 PM (xmcEQ)

46 "Which means they have specific plans for the material."

Special Chupacabra-killing radioactive bullets.

Posted by: Dang at December 04, 2013 02:43 PM (YWXTN)

47 I think I was in this movie...

Posted by: Emelio Estevez at December 04, 2013 02:43 PM (E7Iyp)

48 34 That stuff could be halfway to Salt Lake City by now. I used the word "stuff" in place of the word kerkjrv90DIRTYBOMB because mjdeNSAhgfrkfj. Posted by: 13times at December 04, 2013 06:40 PM (fGPLK) I knew it. It's those dirty Mormons.

Posted by: rickl at December 04, 2013 02:44 PM (sdi6R)

49 Then realized, holy shit, I don't care how much money this is worth, I ain't dealing with radioactive material.

Suddenly some WHO researcher realizes that the bacterial load in some town's communal well has dropped to zero...but everyone's hair is falling out.

Posted by: Purp[/i][/b][/s] at December 04, 2013 02:44 PM (L0b3J)

50 Remember at the END of REPO MAN when they opened the TRUNK of the 1964 MALIBU and it was GLOWING?

Posted by: jakeman Plover at December 04, 2013 02:44 PM (vH4YP)

51 Well now at least the illegals will glow in the dark as they cross the border.

Posted by: Buffalobob at December 04, 2013 02:44 PM (r8ENS)

52 "Which means they have specific plans for the material."

Time Travel Sombreros.

Posted by: Dang at December 04, 2013 02:44 PM (YWXTN)

53 Juan Williams needs a clue-bat to the brain lol.

He STILL doesn't think we need border security!

Posted by: JarvisW at December 04, 2013 02:45 PM (E7Iyp)

54 Posted by: Emelio Estevez at December 04, 2013 06:43 PM (E7Iyp) Dammit, beat me to it.

Posted by: jakeman at December 04, 2013 02:45 PM (vH4YP)

55 No need to panic. We are negotiating to turn off the radio.

Posted by: Joey Biden at December 04, 2013 02:45 PM (VIaw0)

56 one of the two glowing in the dark guys ,here hold my beer

Posted by: willow at December 04, 2013 02:45 PM (nqBYe)

57 If it is the largest amount stolen in recent history does that mean smaller amounts have been stolen? Also I asked in the other thread before I saw this one, if it is medical waste can it still be used for nefarious purposes and if so what nefarious purpose can they use it for?

Posted by: Paranoidgirlinseattle at December 04, 2013 02:46 PM (RZ8pf)

58 Glow in the dark wheel rims.

Posted by: Dang at December 04, 2013 06:41 PM (YWXTN)

It'll make one hell of a metal-flake paint job, holmes

Posted by: low-rider enthusiast at December 04, 2013 02:46 PM (bvtgt)

59 Back in the day the Soviet Union used a lot of nuclear thermoelectric generators to power remote sensors. Occasionally people come across these and scavenge them for the metal. The dumber ones ignore the radioactive symbol on the isotope canister and if they're lucky, they only get cancer.

Posted by: Mætenloch at December 04, 2013 02:46 PM (pAlYe)

60 Whether the nuclear material was found or whether it wasn't--what difference, at this point, does it make?!

Posted by: Hillary Clinton at December 04, 2013 02:46 PM (Y+IL9)

61 DangerGirl: We lost my 85 year old father before Thanksgiving. Change of breathing pattern was a signal for us, but he lived another 4 months. Each day you are granted is a precious gift.

Posted by: sinmi at December 04, 2013 02:46 PM (YwCHA)

62 I think I was in this movie... Posted by: Emelio Estevez at December 04, 2013 06:43 PM (E7Iyp) I was in one similar.

Posted by: Christian Slater at December 04, 2013 02:47 PM (xmcEQ)

63 Arriva, arriva, ondele, pronto, pronto.....pooof

Posted by: The Jackhole at December 04, 2013 02:47 PM (nTgAI)

64 "59 Back in the day the Soviet Union used a lot of nuclear thermoelectric generators to power remote sensors. Occasionally people come across these and scavenge them for the metal. The dumber ones ignore the radioactive symbol on the isotope canister and if they're lucky, they only get cancer." If they were really lucky they would get superpowers... though I can't think of any Soviet superheros. Just villains like KGBeast.

Posted by: Naes1984 at December 04, 2013 02:47 PM (zeV2E)

65 Co-60 is no joke. 1.3 MeV gamma ray emission is highly penetrating with a half-life of some 5 years. It is what we called full-body radiation when I was in the business. If the perps handled it unshielded for any length of time, they might show up at a hospital with symptoms of radiation exposure or simply succumb and die in a hole in the desert.

Posted by: flounder at December 04, 2013 02:47 PM (Kkt/i)

66 Paging Jack Bauer. Jack Bauer to the white courtesy phones, please. Toot Sweet!

Posted by: Count de Monet at December 04, 2013 02:48 PM (BAS5M)

67 Dangergirl
Prayers for you and your family.

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at December 04, 2013 02:48 PM (ElylP)

68 Posted by: Hillary Clinton at December 04, 2013 06:46 PM (Y+IL9) I'm gonna make my OWN dead pool......and put you on it.

Posted by: Harry Callihan at December 04, 2013 02:48 PM (xmcEQ)

69 "Which means they have specific plans for the material."

Nuclear Powered Burros, bitches!

Posted by: Dang at December 04, 2013 02:48 PM (YWXTN)

70 I'm sure whoever stole it only wants it for peaceful purposes, wingnutz.

Posted by: John 'Wrongway" Kerry at December 04, 2013 02:48 PM (MMC8r)

71 If you like your highly radioactive cobalt-60, you can keep it. Period.

Posted by: whoever at December 04, 2013 02:48 PM (zu9Ee)

"Which means they have specific plans for the material."

RockStar Horchata

Glow in the Dark Curb Feelers

Nuclear Powered Ball in a Cup

Posted by: garrett at December 04, 2013 02:48 PM (g4KRj)

73 47 I think I was in this movie... Posted by: Emelio Estevez at December 04, 2013 06:43 PM (E7Iyp) "That's a well-tempered clavier, man."

Posted by: Crow at December 04, 2013 02:49 PM (Apv0k)

74 If it was found outside the container, wouldn't someone have severe radiation poisoning? Just the act of separating the contents from the container could have caused deadly exposure.

Posted by: KillerMartinis at December 04, 2013 02:49 PM (9eDbm)

75 sock off

Posted by: Chairman LMAO at December 04, 2013 02:49 PM (9eDbm)

76 I think I was in this movie... Posted by: Emelio Estevez at December 04, 2013 06:43 PM (E7Iyp) John Wayne was a fag.

Posted by: John 'Wrongway at December 04, 2013 02:49 PM (MMC8r)

77 ehe man look at my car it glows!

let's add it to some paint and paint the living room ceilings

Posted by: willow at December 04, 2013 02:50 PM (nqBYe)

78 DangerGirl, God's peace upon your family and your father in law and that he not suffer pain in his passing.

Posted by: teej at December 04, 2013 02:50 PM (+jNI+)

79 Everything is radioactive these days. Administration Finalizes Obamacare Tax Over Holiday Weekend Health Insurance Tax to Raise Premiums by 3%, Cost $60 Billion Over Next 5 Years The Obama administration quietly finalized the Health Insurance Tax (HIT) over the Thanksgiving holiday weekend, a provision in Obamacare that will cost nearly $60 billion over the next five years and raise health care premiums by 3 percent. The final rule, published on Nov. 27, imposes a fee beginning in 2014 for health insurers with premium revenues over $25 million per year. The annual tax is levied for Â“United States health risks,Â” and is hidden from consumers since it is directly assessed on health insurance companies. Destroy our country from within. Destroy it outside our borders. With an administration that cannot even build a website. Are we safe, America? /rhet

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at December 04, 2013 02:50 PM (IXrOn)

80 Here it is, The Dividing Wall: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0394038/ http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=T5iDp5SezSI

Posted by: Dave M at December 04, 2013 02:50 PM (B/nX3)

81 Danger Girl Prayers sent forthwith. Some things are worse than death.

Posted by: Golfman in NC at December 04, 2013 02:50 PM (YVXLf)

82 Eibenschutz is a traditional Mayan name, and doesn't actually rhyme with "Waffen SS Conspiracy."

Posted by: 13times at December 04, 2013 02:50 PM (fGPLK)

83 Ra-di-a-tion. Yes, indeed. You hear the most outrageous lies about it. Half-baked goggle-box do-gooders telling everybody it's bad for you. Pernicious nonsense! Everybody could stand a hundred chest X-rays a year! They oughta have 'em, too.

Posted by: J. Frank Parnell at December 04, 2013 02:50 PM (vH4YP)

84 You took a lot of acid in the '60's, didn't you?

Posted by: Emelio Estevez at December 04, 2013 02:51 PM (E7Iyp)

85 one of the guys wives, doesn't she has a lovely glow about her?

Posted by: willow at December 04, 2013 02:51 PM (nqBYe)

86 Dangergirl, prayers to you and your family.

Posted by: Paranoidgirlinseattle at December 04, 2013 02:51 PM (RZ8pf)

87 Cobalt-60 opened for UB-40 at the Chance in Poughkeepsie, NY in 1991.

Posted by: garrett at December 04, 2013 02:51 PM (g4KRj)

88 Larry King says: "I don't want to get preachy here, but playing with radioactive material is not the way to be cool, gang!"

Posted by: Naes1984 at December 04, 2013 02:52 PM (zeV2E)

89 No really, there is a plan in place. See, what we're doing is allowing it to go to some rather nefarious people, but we'll be tracking it all the way so eventually we'll catch some bad guys. How are we tracking it you ask? That's a different department, you'll have to ask them.

Posted by: The FBI at December 04, 2013 02:52 PM (Myqtp)

90 Bret Baier ‏@BretBaier Stolen radioactive material in Mexico has been recovered and there's no risk to the surrounding population, a Mexican official tells The AP

Posted by: Franch Dressing at December 04, 2013 02:52 PM (ZPrif)

91 Not sure how Bret just tweeted that while simultaneously leading a panel discussion on Obamacare ... but I trust Bret and his hair.

Posted by: Franch Dressing at December 04, 2013 02:52 PM (ZPrif)

92 "Which means they have specific plans for the material."

"Who wants theirs extra, extra, EXTRA spicy?"

Posted by: Dang at December 04, 2013 02:52 PM (YWXTN)

93 Dangergirl, peaceful thoughts and prayers headed your way.

Posted by: jakeman at December 04, 2013 02:52 PM (vH4YP)

94 Posted by: sinmi at December 04, 2013 06:46 PM (YwCHA)

I am very sorry for your loss. Thanks to you and everyone else for your thoughts and prayers. This is turning out to be a pretty shitty week.

Posted by: DangerGirl, home sweet home at December 04, 2013 02:53 PM (GrtrJ)

95 Don't need those glow-in-the-dark condoms anymore. Look at this!

Posted by: Mexican Bandit 1 at December 04, 2013 02:54 PM (BAS5M)

96 Are we safe America? /rhet Sorry. I read that as Nyet.

Posted by: Golfman in NC at December 04, 2013 02:54 PM (YVXLf)

97 Nuclear siesta.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot Jr. at December 04, 2013 02:54 PM (BrrWI)

98 Thoughts and prayers going out to DangerGirl and her family.

Posted by: Darth Randall at December 04, 2013 02:54 PM (Zswg6)

99 Bret Baier ‏@BretBaier
Stolen radioactive material in Mexico has been recovered...

Easy, peasy. All they had to do was follow the trail of dead bodies til it ended.

Posted by: Retread at December 04, 2013 02:54 PM (IiAs3)

100 good it was found.

wow they are pretty good at this!

Posted by: willow at December 04, 2013 02:54 PM (nqBYe)

101 When your tomatoes start glowing in the dark, you'll know what's up.

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at December 04, 2013 02:55 PM (IXrOn)

102 "90 Bret Baier ‏@BretBaier Stolen radioactive material in Mexico has been recovered and there's no risk to the surrounding population, a Mexican official tells The AP" A hulk who happens to be incredible wanted for questioning.

Posted by: Naes1984 at December 04, 2013 02:55 PM (zeV2E)

103 "If someone finds a big chunk of metal with radiation symbols all over it, they should notify us immediately and don't open it."

Now you tell me.

Posted by: That melty face guy from Raiders of the Lost Ark at December 04, 2013 02:55 PM (YWXTN)

104 wonder what gave them away?

Posted by: willow at December 04, 2013 02:55 PM (nqBYe)

105 Posted by: Franch Dressing at December 04, 2013 06:52 PM (ZPrif) Yeah. Mexican officials. One notch above Jay Carney. Only one.

Posted by: Golfman in NC at December 04, 2013 02:55 PM (YVXLf)

106 Easy, peasy. All they had to do was follow the trail of dead bodies til it ended. That's what I'm thinking, unless they can make it to Elysium.

Posted by: toby928© at December 04, 2013 02:55 PM (QupBk)

107 Nuke badges!?!? We don't need no stinkin' nuke badges!!

Posted by: Mexican Bandit 1 at December 04, 2013 02:55 PM (BAS5M)

108 dangergirl, prayers coming your way...

Posted by: hello, it's me also a creep-assed cracka.. at December 04, 2013 02:56 PM (9+ccr)

109 dead guys thought bubble.
and here i thought we were just getting us some free stuff.

Posted by: willow at December 04, 2013 02:56 PM (nqBYe)

110 Oh well if the Mexican authorities say so then there is nothing to worry about. Right?

Posted by: JackStraw at December 04, 2013 02:56 PM (g1DWB)

111

BBC: Material Has Been Found, But "Its Condition Remains Unclear." What does that mean?

---------------------------------------------------

It means the Messikan government is in "Red Alert CYA" mode.

Posted by: Soona at December 04, 2013 02:57 PM (9sMM9)

112 Mexican Coke with a new glow!

Posted by: Nip Sip at December 04, 2013 02:57 PM (0FSuD)

113 WHyouth called, they want their "stuff" back.

YMMV.

Posted by: 13times at December 04, 2013 02:57 PM (fGPLK)

114 Was it found in the trunk of a 1964 Chevy Malibu?

Posted by: Bertram Cabot Jr. at December 04, 2013 02:57 PM (BrrWI)

115
"That's a well-tempered clavier, man." Posted by: Crow

"I'm going in!"

"I got your bach!"

Posted by: mrp at December 04, 2013 02:57 PM (HjPtV)

116 Easy, peasy. All they had to do was follow the trail of dead bodies til it ended. Posted by: Retread at December 04, 2013 06:54 PM (IiAs3) Or follow the sun that didn't set.

Posted by: © Sponge at December 04, 2013 02:57 PM (xmcEQ)

117 so it has a Condition?

Posted by: willow at December 04, 2013 02:57 PM (nqBYe)

118 So ... now it's looking like it was the dumbest fucking criminals on the planet? Who've never watched an action movie in their life and seen the radiation symbols? Did SlowPoke Gonzalez, the slowest mouse in all of Meh-i-ko, try to fuck the medical waste?

Posted by: Flatbush Joe at December 04, 2013 02:57 PM (ZPrif)

119 "If someone finds a big chunk of metal with radiation symbols all over it, they should notify us immediately and don't open it."

Well that warning came a little late.

Posted by: That guy with the 500 pound glow in the dark testicles at December 04, 2013 02:57 PM (YWXTN)

120 well maybe they can now trace that glowy new meth back to the makers.

Posted by: willow at December 04, 2013 02:58 PM (nqBYe)

121 98 Thoughts and prayers going out to DangerGirl and her family. Posted by: Darth Randall at December 04, 2013 06:54 PM (Zswg6) -------------------------- Amen.

Posted by: Margarita DeVille at December 04, 2013 02:58 PM (dfYL9)

122 They should have put some of that shit in the water supply to kill the bowel-shredding amoebas.

Posted by: Naes1984 at December 04, 2013 02:58 PM (zeV2E)

123 Danger girl, so sorry I hope his passing is more peaceful than what he's been enduring.

Posted by: Fourth Horseman at December 04, 2013 02:58 PM (KuZ6A)

124 If a scorpion got exposed, will we soon see Mexican Scorpion Man?

Posted by: Count de Monet at December 04, 2013 02:58 PM (BAS5M)

125 Were they driving an Oldsmobile?

Posted by: Zombie Ted at December 04, 2013 02:58 PM (0FSuD)

126 114 Was it found in the trunk of a 1964 Chevy Malibu?
Posted by: Bertram Cabot Jr. at December 04, 2013 06:57 PM (BrrWI)

"Every car has one. You'll see."

Posted by: Mætenloch at December 04, 2013 02:59 PM (pAlYe)

127 I have a feeling that these thieves will be easy to identify.

Posted by: Margarita DeVille at December 04, 2013 02:59 PM (dfYL9)

128 Posted by: Bertram Cabot Jr. at December 04, 2013 06:57 PM (BrrWI) Naw. 94 F150.

Posted by: Golfman in NC at December 04, 2013 02:59 PM (YVXLf)

129 31 Obama's most lasting legacy will be his 9-11. Yeah, like Clinton's?

Posted by: rockhead at December 04, 2013 02:59 PM (jtTKf)

130 If you were bit by a radioactive wetback what kind of superpowers do you get?

Posted by: Bigby's Boxing Gloves at December 04, 2013 02:59 PM (RLTt1)

131

Stolen radioactive material in Mexico has been recovered and there's no risk to the surrounding population, a Mexican official tells The AP"

---------------

Because as luck would have it, most of the people that used to live in the region are either in Texas, Arizona, New Mexico or California.

Posted by: Darth Randall at December 04, 2013 03:01 PM (Zswg6)

132 I have a feeling that these thieves will be easy to identify.

Posted by: Margarita DeVille at December 04, 2013 06:59 PM (dfYL9)

Yeah, and if the stuff is as deadly as it sounds, they won't have the trouble of a trial.

Posted by: Retread at December 04, 2013 03:01 PM (IiAs3)

133 90 Bret Baier Ã¾@BretBaier
Stolen radioactive material in Mexico has been recovered and there's no risk to the surrounding population, a Mexican official tells The AP

Posted by: Franch Dressing at December 04, 2013 06:52 PM (ZPrif)

Whew! Glad we have positive confirmation on this from a Mexican govt Official! We can all sleep easy knowing there's absolutely no risk to the surrounding population.

Posted by: Havedash at December 04, 2013 03:01 PM (ToMJU)

134 anyway i hope they didn't take it back to their abode with a bunch of kids thinking of pawning it .

Posted by: willow at December 04, 2013 03:02 PM (nqBYe)

135 Stolen radioactive material in Mexico has been recovered and there's no risk to the surrounding population, a Mexican official tells The AP Posted by: Franch Dressing

Federali Uno: "Which way did they go?"

Federali Dos: "Just a sec ... click.... click .... click..click. click .... clickclickclickCLICKCLICKCLICK .... This way."

Posted by: mrp at December 04, 2013 03:02 PM (HjPtV)

136 What we need is giant mutated Mexican cockroaches going north and taking jobs American cockroaches won't do.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at December 04, 2013 03:02 PM (66xMn)

137 "Which means they have specific plans for the material."

WORLD'S BIGGEST CHURRO!

Posted by: That guy with the 500 pound glow in the dark testicles at December 04, 2013 03:02 PM (YWXTN)

138 132 I have a feeling that these thieves will be easy to identify. Just follow the clumps of hair and popped-off toenails.

Posted by: Naes1984 at December 04, 2013 03:02 PM (zeV2E)

139 So, there's going to be this little dead spot in Mexico for the next 40,000 years?

Posted by: Meremortal at December 04, 2013 03:02 PM (1Y+hH)

140 Wait until a 50 foot tall 2000 lb taquito starts rampaging through Juarez...

Posted by: DangerGirl, home sweet home at December 04, 2013 03:03 PM (GrtrJ)

141 Eh.

I read that it was a small amount (40 grams?).

Anyone know how much there actually is/

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at December 04, 2013 03:03 PM (oJ5Fd)

142 130 If you were bit by a radioactive wetback what kind of superpowers do you get?

Posted by: Bigby's Boxing Gloves at December 04, 2013 06:59 PM (RLTt1)

You become the Pink Taco!

Posted by: Havedash at December 04, 2013 03:03 PM (ToMJU)

143 It's Christmas at ground zero....

Posted by: Weirddave at December 04, 2013 03:03 PM (N/cFh)

144 DangerGirl...God bless...the will to live is a strong thing.

Posted by: dumbartist at December 04, 2013 03:03 PM (ahBY0)

145 So, there's going to be this little dead spot in Mexico for the next 40,000 years? Posted by: Meremortal

I think that's pretty much wall to wall.

Posted by: Dang at December 04, 2013 03:04 PM (YWXTN)

146 >>So, there's going to be this little dead spot in Mexico for the next 40,000 years? The hard part will be distinguishing it from the rest of Mexico.

Posted by: JackStraw at December 04, 2013 03:04 PM (g1DWB)

147 So ... all the news stories probably all go back to the same corrupt Mexican official telling a lazy AP stringer, "Is normal. Is normal. Is fine. We find. Is normal. Is over. Is no problem. Is normal."

Posted by: Flatbush Joe at December 04, 2013 03:04 PM (ZPrif)

148 @57 and 74, if it is what they say it is, it sounds like it was used for medical applications and was no longer useful for that purpose, which probably means it has decayed (reduced in intensity) somewhat since it was first manufactures. So it depends.

Whether it could be weaponized and to what extent largely depends on how much there is and how much it has decayed. To weaponize it, you would mostly likely have to grind it or reduced it to a dispersible form like a powder. Then you'd have to come up with a way to disperse it so that people would ingest it. Because of the low reward to high risk, it's pretty far-fetched to think low tech, loosely organized, sparsely funded groups (terrorist groups) would have perpetrated this. And I would suspect that if it was some nation state or higher level organization, the driver would not have lived to tell the tale.

In all, it seems like a crime of opportunity, where the perps will get more than they bargained for.

As far as how long they can handle it without PPE, it depends on the concentration of the Co-60 and other factors, but I wouldn't volunteer to handle it without proper precautions. The likeliness and timing of illness would depend on the total dose, and with so many unknowns, it's hard to conclude anything.

Posted by: flounder at December 04, 2013 03:04 PM (Kkt/i)

149 FYI, drone delivery is still available, if they need a replacement. And be sure to check out our special Cyber Wednesday pricing on Plutonium!

http://tinyurl.com/nmjchup

Posted by: Amazon.com at December 04, 2013 03:04 PM (8ZskC)

150 The Black Scorpion http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HdQxw0z44JQ

Posted by: toby928© at December 04, 2013 03:04 PM (QupBk)

151 What we need is giant mutated Mexican cockroaches going north and taking jobs American cockroaches won't do.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at December 04, 2013 07:02 PM (66xMn)

-----------

We needed something to close the Kaiju gap with Japan.

Posted by: Mexican Mad Scientist at December 04, 2013 03:04 PM (Zswg6)

152 sinni, sorry for your loss, may your grief be not too harsh.
prayers for dangergirl and her FIl and family.

Posted by: willow at December 04, 2013 03:04 PM (nqBYe)

153 clickclickclickCLICKCLICKCLICK .... This way."

LOL.

Hope the Federalis brought the container with them.

Posted by: Retread at December 04, 2013 03:05 PM (IiAs3)

154 Several years ago, if I'm remembering this correctly, two guys found a canister in a New Mexico dump yard that they opened and found it contained metal pellets or maybe it looked like ball bearings. Anyway, long story short, they went to the hospital cuz they developed these crazy burns on their hands and on their legs where they'd put some of the pellets in their pockets. And then later, a day I think, they died. The pellets turned out to be plutonium(?) and it was on all the national news networks for about 24 hours, because no one knew where it had come from and then it wasn't.... *cue ominous music* I suspect the right agencies get very serious very quickly about this stuff. Or not. Preezy O'cheezy needs a distraction/

Posted by: The Bourbon in Boehner's Belly at December 04, 2013 03:05 PM (0cMkb)

155 I'm sure the Mexican government is completely competent and forthright.

Posted by: steevy at December 04, 2013 03:05 PM (zqvg6)

156 The guy who played "Juan Eibenschutz" in Downfall was really good.

Coincidence that the glowy stuff was being carried in a Volkswagen?

Posted by: MrScribbler at December 04, 2013 03:05 PM (csjXD)

157 It's fun to play straight man at AOS. Dependable morons, dependable....

Posted by: Meremortal at December 04, 2013 03:05 PM (1Y+hH)

158 In no way can it be considered a mistake shipping valuable cargo through Northern Mexico, unless it's weed or cocaine, of course.

Or barrels of flesh eating acid, almost forgot that one.

Posted by: 13times at December 04, 2013 03:06 PM (fGPLK)

159 "the material is no risk."

LOL.

As if the government would say otherwise.

Aren't they still claiming that Fukishima is totally cool and not a problem?

Posted by: shibumi at December 04, 2013 03:06 PM (25HWz)

160 Jackstraw, well cabo san lucas (sp)area is actually gorgeous.

Posted by: willow at December 04, 2013 03:06 PM (nqBYe)

161 "and then it wasn't.... *cue ominous music* " Wow. I don't even vaguely remember that. Thanks, MSM!

Posted by: Lauren at December 04, 2013 03:06 PM (hFL/3)

162 If you were bit by a radioactive wetback what kind of superpowers do you get? Posted by: Bigby's Boxing Gloves at December 04, 2013 06:59 PM (RLTt1) You'd be able to leap borders in a single bound?

Posted by: AZ Hi Desert (All my Hate cannot be found) at December 04, 2013 03:07 PM (ial2b)

163 BREAKING: A fifty foot man in a serape with a giant weedwacker has been spotted near Juarez. Extreme caution is urged.

Posted by: This Is CNN at December 04, 2013 03:07 PM (8ZskC)

164 Also I asked in the other thread before I saw this one, if it is medical waste can it still be used for nefarious purposes and if so what nefarious purpose can they use it for? Posted by: Paranoidgirlinseattle A dirty bomb, low impact radiation bomb. Come on, you're paranoid...you should be up on this sheet!

Posted by: The Farmer at December 04, 2013 03:07 PM (eBupg)

165 You have nothing to worry about, amigos. Here, seÃ±ora, have a margarita.

Posted by: Mexican Board of Tourism at December 04, 2013 03:08 PM (vH4YP)

166 Several years ago, if I'm remembering this correctly, two guys found a canister in a New Mexico dump yard that they opened and found it contained metal pellets or maybe it looked like ball bearings.

Anyway, long story short, they went to the hospital cuz they developed these crazy burns on their hands and on their legs where they'd put some of the pellets in their pockets. And then later, a day I think, they died.

Posted by: The Bourbon in Boehner's Belly

Oh yeah, those were called BuckyballsÂ®.

Posted by: Dang at December 04, 2013 03:08 PM (YWXTN)

167 Reminds me of this ST : TNG episode :

http://www.startrek.com/database_article/thine-own-self

Posted by: Bertram Cabot Jr. at December 04, 2013 03:08 PM (BrrWI)

168 158 In no way can it be considered a mistake shipping valuable cargo through Northern Mexico, unless it's weed or cocaine, of course.

Or barrels of flesh eating acid, almost forgot that one.

Posted by: 13times at December 04, 2013 07:06 PM (fGPLK)

Ahhh! Keep that shit away from me!

Posted by: Emil Antonowsky at December 04, 2013 03:09 PM (e4elg)

169 What we need is giant mutated Mexican cockroaches going north and taking jobs American cockroaches won't do.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at December 04, 2013 07:02 PM (66xMn)

--------------------------------------------------

Posted by: Soona at December 04, 2013 03:09 PM (9sMM9)

170 Now we know how Apache Chief got his powers. Eh-neeek-chock!

Posted by: Flatbush Joe at December 04, 2013 03:09 PM (ZPrif)

171 Aye, aye aye, I am the Cobalt Bandito I love me so Cobalt I love it I do I love it so much I steal it from you Aye, aye, aye I am the Cobalt Bandito I stole me some Cobalt I stole it from you I stole me some Cobalt and now I turn blue

Posted by: JackStraw at December 04, 2013 03:09 PM (g1DWB)

172 There's an "On the Border" here that serves fluorescent green margaritas *shifty eyes*

Posted by: The Bourbon in Boehner's Belly at December 04, 2013 03:10 PM (0cMkb)

173 I'm not Spanish. I'm a Puerto Rican - Jew!

Posted by: Juan Epstein at December 04, 2013 03:10 PM (5ikDv)

174 26 Two men had a gun in Mexico? Not possible. Guns are illegal in Mexico. Posted by: mpfs at December 04, 2013 06:39 PM (x8AwZ) The Deuce you say.

Posted by: Eric Holder at December 04, 2013 03:10 PM (UAMVq)

175 From 2008 Bloomberg. How radioactive metal is being accidentally recycled.
http://tinyurl.com/btsmsxp

On Oct. 21, the French nuclear regulator said elevator buttons assembled by Mafelec, a Chimilin, France-based company, contained radioactive metal shipped from India. Employees who handled the buttons received three times the safe dose of radiation for non-nuclear workers, according to the agency.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at December 04, 2013 03:10 PM (66xMn)

176 72-hour rule?

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at December 04, 2013 03:11 PM (DmNpO)

177 "Which means they have specific plans for the material."

"Say hello to my little leaf blower!" *blows the shit out of some leaves*

Posted by: Dang at December 04, 2013 03:11 PM (YWXTN)

178 175 Hey,they glow without needing a lighting element!

Posted by: steevy at December 04, 2013 03:11 PM (zqvg6)

179 Ai yi yi yi yi yi yi yi yi...

*thud*

Posted by: El Guapo at December 04, 2013 03:12 PM (8ZskC)

180 Another good reason to take the stairs.

Posted by: Retread at December 04, 2013 03:12 PM (IiAs3)

181 South of the border down Mexico way That's where I stole cobalt and threw it away. What was I thinking? I will rue the day. South of the border down Mexico way It was a blue cube How was I to know? I hugged my stolen loot Then started to glow. 'Cause it was fiesta and we were so gay. South of the border Down Mexico way.

Posted by: zombie at December 04, 2013 03:12 PM (+cx5n)

182 Hey, want to see a mule with a glowing penis fuck a girl?

Posted by: Street corner in Juarez at December 04, 2013 03:13 PM (1Y+hH)

183 Oh yeah, those were called BuckyballsÂ®. Posted by: Dang at December 04, 2013 07:08 PM (YWXTN) You can't sing castrati for the Vienna Boys Choir without....well...you know....

Posted by: Bucky at December 04, 2013 03:14 PM (0cMkb)

184 He said told authorities he was sleeping in the truck when two men armed with a gun approached about 1:30 a.m. Tuesday.

It was my siesta. You pendejos never heard of a siesta?

Posted by: El Guapo at December 04, 2013 03:15 PM (8ZskC)

185 Hey, want to see a mule with a glowing penis fuck a girl?

Posted by: Street corner in Juarez at December 04, 2013 07:13 PM (1Y+hH)

Boring. Call us when you can get Obama worshipers to commit ritual seppuku.

Posted by: flounder at December 04, 2013 03:15 PM (Kkt/i)

186 Well , we will have immigration reform to prevent this type of situation on Mexican soil. We have that going for US.

Posted by: 7 Days in May at December 04, 2013 03:15 PM (j6DTo)

187 zombie very nice......

Posted by: phoenixgirl @phxazgrl at December 04, 2013 03:16 PM (8JJ6O)

188 OT, but did you see that Jim Treacher got into another incident involving being hit by a car? This time he also got beat up by the driver. Bizarre.

Posted by: Lauren at December 04, 2013 03:16 PM (hFL/3)

189 So now they are lying about "recovering" the material.

Posted by: Eton Cox at December 04, 2013 03:16 PM (q177U)

190 Bret Baier ‏@BretBaier
Stolen radioactive material in Mexico has been recovered and there's no risk to the surrounding population, a Mexican official tells The AP

--

That's what they told Karen Silkwood, too.

Dangergirl, prayers and comfort being sent to you and your spouse's family.

Posted by: Lady in Black, in a dead thread talking to myself at December 04, 2013 03:17 PM (XB5Ak)

191 La fifty-foot cucaracha La fifty-foot cucaracha Eats anything that he wants

Posted by: Los Mariachis del Nuclear at December 04, 2013 03:17 PM (0cMkb)

192 Ace, Slightly O/T, but I just wanted to congratulate you on the greatest headline that has ever been written. From yesterday: Obama: Hey America, Suck My Dick. That is the greatest, most telling and accurate header to an article about Owebama that's ever been written, so I sincerely congratulate you.

Posted by: © Sponge at December 04, 2013 03:17 PM (xmcEQ)

193

Employees who handled the buttons received three times the safe dose of radiation for non-nuclear workers, according to the agency.

Huh? So, conversely, nuclear workers can safely absorb 3 times more radiation than non-nuclear workers?

Posted by: Havedash at December 04, 2013 03:17 PM (ToMJU)

194 Stolen radioactive material in Mexico has been recovered and there's no risk to the surrounding population,

Until they get bitten by a radioactive face-sized spider.

Posted by: ElvisRadish at December 04, 2013 03:17 PM (/kI1Q)

195 As Obama slashes the military, from Air Force Times: The Air Force is offering future officers preparing to graduate from the ROTC program in 2014 the opportunity to walk away from their service commitments without having to repay their scholarships or monthly stipends, the service announced Tuesday.

Posted by: Flatbush Joe at December 04, 2013 03:17 PM (ZPrif)

196 Would you say that I have a plethora of plutonium?

Posted by: El Guapo at December 04, 2013 03:17 PM (8ZskC)

197

Stolen radioactive material in Mexico has been recovered and there's no risk to the surrounding population,

Don't eat the salsa, it's hot

Posted by: The Jackhole at December 04, 2013 03:18 PM (nTgAI)

198 Free college, no service commitment.

Posted by: Flatbush Joe at December 04, 2013 03:18 PM (ZPrif)

199 i wonder what super powers the thieves will have.........

Posted by: phoenixgirl @phxazgrl at December 04, 2013 03:18 PM (8JJ6O)

200 Posted by: DangerGirl, home sweet home at December 04, 2013 06:34 PM (GrtrJ) Danger Girl, IÂ’m sorry about your father in law. I will say a prayer for your family. You have had a bad two days. Carol

Posted by: Carol at December 04, 2013 03:19 PM (z4WKX)

201 "Say hello to my little leaf blower!" *blows the shit out of some leaves* Posted by: Dang at December 04, 2013 07:11 PM (YWXTN) That extremely RAYSSISSSS of you, but it made me lol quite heartily.

Posted by: © Sponge at December 04, 2013 03:19 PM (xmcEQ)

202 @ 192 OK Ace knows you love him. Now wipe your chin son and stand up on your feet.

Posted by: 7 Days in May at December 04, 2013 03:19 PM (j6DTo)

203 dangergirl hugs and prayers to you and your family

Posted by: phoenixgirl @phxazgrl at December 04, 2013 03:19 PM (8JJ6O)

204 Come for the drugs and ho's, leave with a glow that lasts.

Posted by: Mexican Tourist Authority at December 04, 2013 03:19 PM (0FSuD)

205 Radioactive salsa

Posted by: Northernlurker, moron wannabe at December 04, 2013 03:19 PM (BLAfs)

206 i wonder what super powers the thieves will have......... Posted by: phoenixgir --------------------- Glow in the dark

Posted by: Mike Hammer at December 04, 2013 03:19 PM (aDwsi)

207 This looks like a job for El Supermano!!!!
http://www.ufunk.net/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/selection-du-weekend-64-38.jpg

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at December 04, 2013 03:20 PM (66xMn)

208
That's what they told Karen Silkwood, too.

Posted by: Lady in Black, in a dead thread talking to myself at December 04, 2013 07:17 PM (XB5Ak)

For some reason the vintage SNL skit with Garret Morris as the cleaning woman they send into the reactor to mop up, popped into my head lol.

Posted by: JarvisW at December 04, 2013 03:20 PM (E7Iyp)

209 Huh? So, conversely, nuclear workers can safely absorb 3 times more radiation than non-nuclear workers? They develop nuclear-resistant mutations over time. Or something.

Posted by: Insomniac at December 04, 2013 03:20 PM (UAMVq)

210 From the Air Force Times: -- Cadets and graduates in the following career fields may apply for early release Jan. 6-24: ■ 13M Airfield Operations ■ 13N Nuclear and Missile Operations ■ 14N Intelligence ■ 17D Cyberspace Operations ■ 21A Aircraft Maintenance ■ 21M Munitions and Missile Maintenance ■ 21R Logistics Readiness ■ 31P Security Forces ■ 35P Public Affairs ■ 38P Personnel ■ 63A Acquisition ■ 64P Contracting ROTC cadets approved for the program will stop receiving their monthly stipend March 1. Recent commissioned officers in the career fields above are being encouraged to seek opportunities in the Air National Guard or Air Force Reserve, the release said. Other officer programs also are affected by the Air ForceÂ’s efforts to downsize the force, said Lt. Col. Jonelle Eychner, chief of officer accessions and training. Â“We have also reduced officer training school where possible to ease the impact on ROTC,Â” Eychner said in the release. Â“But we canÂ’t cut any deeper into OTS production without harming our ability to fill specific technical career fields.Â”

Posted by: Flatbush Joe at December 04, 2013 03:21 PM (ZPrif)

211 Muy caliente

Posted by: Mike Hammer at December 04, 2013 03:21 PM (aDwsi)

212 199 i wonder what super powers the thieves will have.........

Posted by: phoenixgirl @phxazgrl at December 04, 2013 07:18 PM (8JJ6O)

The ability to kill border agents with impunity!

Posted by: Havedash at December 04, 2013 03:22 PM (ToMJU)

213 210 Hey,it's not like any of those jobs are important.

Posted by: steevy at December 04, 2013 03:22 PM (zqvg6)

214 Someone....some....uh....*burp*...outta put nuclear waste in....a....fuck, I....in a....fuck it....inn'er mouth. Yeah, fuck you.... ....yeah.... ....fuh... *pees pants*

Posted by: Martin Bashir in a dirty wife-beater drinking muscatel at December 04, 2013 03:22 PM (0cMkb)

215 It's how they wrote the article. These are journalists who think they are smarter than everyone else because they are journalists.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at December 04, 2013 03:22 PM (66xMn)

216 OK Ace knows you love him. Now wipe your chin son and stand up on your feet. Posted by: 7 Days in May at December 04, 2013 07:19 PM (j6DTo) That's only the 2nd or 3rd compliment I've thrown his way in a couple years, so save your chin wiping comments for Chris Matthews. It'll serve you better.

Posted by: © Sponge at December 04, 2013 03:24 PM (xmcEQ)

217 It's how they wrote the article. These are journalists who think they are smarter than everyone else because they are journalists. ----------------------------- I am often astonished by their ignorance..., almost daily.

Posted by: Mike Hammer at December 04, 2013 03:24 PM (aDwsi)

218 Now that the radioactive material has been found one kilometer away from its protective container there should be a dead body with red oozing splotches somewhere within a kilometer of the radioactive material.

Posted by: scrubjay at December 04, 2013 03:25 PM (OWmgr)

219 We'll be sure to get to the bottom of this. And of you

Posted by: New Mexico's finest at December 04, 2013 03:25 PM (Nsoq9)

220 It's how they wrote the article. These are journalists who think they are smarter than everyone else because they are journalists.
Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD)

Have you seen my typewriter?! It's ELECTRIC!

Posted by: A journalist, with an ELECTRIC typewriter at December 04, 2013 03:25 PM (YWXTN)

221 We noticed. It's a GE typewriter so it only writes what Imelt tells you to write.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at December 04, 2013 03:27 PM (66xMn)

222 Obviously, this was a part of the Gun Walking Program started under George Bush...

Posted by: MFM at December 04, 2013 03:27 PM (PLOz8)

223 187 zombie very nice...... Posted by: phoenixgirl The problem with the rapid-fire pace of AoS comment threads is that there's never really any relaxed period of time to really flesh out a parody. Under ideal (i.e. slower) conditions I would have finished the song. But by that time, a new thread will have been up already! One more stanza... Now I've got tumors from my head to my toes. From a bring fling with a cube Radioactivos. So next time you rob a guy taking siesta one day, don't mess with the cobalt, down Mexico way.

Posted by: zombie at December 04, 2013 03:27 PM (+cx5n)

224 Someone....some....uh....*burp*...outta put nuclear waste in....a....fuck, I....in a....fuck it....inn'er mouth.

Yeah, fuck you....

....yeah....

....fuh...

*pees pants* Posted by: Martin Bashir in a dirty wife-beater drinking muscatel

LOLZ!

Posted by: Dang at December 04, 2013 03:27 PM (YWXTN)

225 So some idiots steal radioactive cargo and then open it because of -- that's what idiots do? My thoughts and prayers for those in the area that have been exposed by these idiots.

Posted by: USA at December 04, 2013 03:27 PM (VIaw0)

226 bring fling = brief fling sigh.

Posted by: zombie at December 04, 2013 03:28 PM (+cx5n)

227 BOLO little green glowing men.

Well, the corpses of them.

Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at December 04, 2013 03:28 PM (eHIJJ)

228 Have you seen my typewriter?! It's ELECTRIC!

Boogie-woogie-woogie!

Posted by: Marcia Griffiths at December 04, 2013 03:28 PM (/kI1Q)

229 We noticed. It's a GE typewriter so it only writes what Imelt tells you to write.
Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD)

Well... *brp*

Posted by: A journalist, with an ELECTRIC typewriter at December 04, 2013 03:28 PM (YWXTN)

230 BOLO little green glowing men.

El Chupacabra Vive!

Posted by: HeatherRadish™ needs a beer at December 04, 2013 03:29 PM (/kI1Q)

231 223 --- zombie --- That's downright buzzworthy!

Posted by: Margarita DeVille at December 04, 2013 03:29 PM (dfYL9)

232 I saw Radioactive Material open for the Steely Dan at the Carowinds Paladium back in '80.

Posted by: Havedash at December 04, 2013 03:29 PM (ToMJU)

233 Si si Senorita Heather, El Chupacabra Verde!

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at December 04, 2013 03:29 PM (66xMn)

234 zombie, your next PJ article should about MExico, cobalt-60, and your song.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at December 04, 2013 03:30 PM (66xMn)

235 So we're going to have a Mexican Spiderman on our hands. El AraÃ±a vs. the Cartels!

Posted by: Dirt McGirt at December 04, 2013 03:30 PM (hGxbj)

236 Or 50ft tarantulas on the lose.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at December 04, 2013 03:31 PM (66xMn)

237 BOLO little green glowing men. YOLO little green men. Come explore my radioactive container.

Posted by: Sandra Fluke at December 04, 2013 03:31 PM (0cMkb)

238 For some reason the vintage SNL skit with Garret Morris as the cleaning woman they send into the reactor to mop up, popped into my head lol.
Posted by: JarvisW at December 04, 2013 07:20 PM (E7Iyp)

"I'm a nuclear engineer" - Jimmy Carter

Posted by: Mætenloch at December 04, 2013 03:31 PM (pAlYe)

239 231 223 --- zombie --- That's downright buzzworthy! Posted by: Margarita DeVille 234 zombie, your next PJ article should about MExico, cobalt-60, and your song. Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) I leave the full-fledged parody posts up to buzzsawmonkey. I just goof in the comments.

Posted by: zombie at December 04, 2013 03:32 PM (+cx5n)

240 El Hulko Smasho!

Posted by: Lincolntf at December 04, 2013 03:32 PM (ZshNr)

241 North of the Border..... Obama has poisoned the entire nation for decades

Posted by: Dept. Of Acuracy at December 04, 2013 03:32 PM (MhA4j)

242

Another "good one" was the Goiania Incident, in Brazil back in the late '80s. Two idiots broke into a cancer treatment facility that was being demolished and stole a large metal container. It wasn't Co-60, but something equally deadly, cesium-137, in salt form, which is nicely water soluble. They took it back to one of the idiot's homes and began to dismantle it, aiming to sell it for scrap metal.

They started getting sick, vomiting and diarrhea, but didn't make the connection, and kept on. They got to the inner canister, which had a nice little window. Inside was a pretty blue glow (Cherenkov radiation, which appears blue, although the brunt of the energy is UV, is EM radiation due to charged particles being released moving faster than the speed of light in air (or water). Nothing moves faster than light in vacuum, of course, but the effect is roughly similiar to a sonic boom, which is sound "radiation" caused by something moving faster than the speed of sound).

It was pretty, and they sold it to a nearby scrap dealer. He let his family mess with, including his young daughter, who played with it and even got some in her mouth. The whole family became violently ill. The mother realized the pretty blue stuff might be what was making them sick and went to the hospital, carrying the stuff with her.

SHe ended contaminating the whole hospital area. A doctor was smart enough to realize it was radioactive material and get it out and away. They had trouble getting the authorities to realize how serious an incident they had on their hands at the hospital, but they finally did.

4 were killed by direct radiation exposure, but one of the idiot thieves actually survived. It required a massive cleanup effort, both at the hospital and many homes around the area where they first opened the container.

There are people this ignorant and stupid out there. If you see Cherenkov radiation, stay the hell away.

Posted by: publius(NotBreitbartPublius) at December 04, 2013 03:33 PM (M5Os+)

243 Today's "Journalist" http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=sh7-F6e1wFk

Posted by: © Sponge at December 04, 2013 03:33 PM (xmcEQ)

244 agua man

Posted by: phoenixgirl @phxazgrl at December 04, 2013 03:33 PM (8JJ6O)

245 OF COURSE THEY ARE GOING TO SAY THEY FOUND THE MATERIAL AND THERES NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT...OTHERWISE THERE WOULD BE AN IRON CLAD ARGUMENT TO FINALLY FINALLY SECURE THE FUCKING BORDER

Posted by: sound awake at December 04, 2013 03:33 PM (+35tA)

246 Oops...dead link. Never mind.

Posted by: © Sponge at December 04, 2013 03:33 PM (xmcEQ)

247 Well, we'll know there's a problem when the Juarez bar girls start wearing dosimeters.

Posted by: mrp at December 04, 2013 03:34 PM (HjPtV)

248 DangerGirl,

Heart Disease took MisterA 2 years ago yesterday. 35 years after the 1st of many heart episodes, mostly good for 32 of those.

Best Wishes.

Posted by: DaveA[/i][/b][/s] at December 04, 2013 03:34 PM (DL2i+)

249 "Mama, Papa try to tell me how to live." "But I don't listen to them 'cause my mind is like a sieve."

Posted by: Mr. Dave at December 04, 2013 03:35 PM (F1Unt)

250 If you see Cherenkov radiation, stay the hell away.

Posted by: publius(NotBreitbartPublius) at December 04, 2013 07:33 PM (M5Os+)

Talk about a buzz kill!

You must be great at parties.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at December 04, 2013 03:36 PM (oJ5Fd)

251 Now THAT'S a Hot Tamale.

Posted by: DaveA[/i][/b][/s] at December 04, 2013 03:38 PM (DL2i+)

252 That being said, about three years ago when Obama made some bizarre goof when he forgot what year it was (forget the exact circumstances by now), I wrote some absolutely flawless parody lyrics about the gaffe to one of the tunes from the Who's "Tommy" (technically the song is called "Christmas" but most people remember it as "Tommy Doesn't Know What Day It Is"). And sadly I never published the parody. Until now, that is. Cast your mind back to 2010-ish and dig on this: ---------------------------------------------------------------- Obama Doesn't Know What Year It Is Fifty-seven states and sixty-seven borders surely he's not serious. Teleprompter broke, he's lost for words I'm worried he's become delirious. Kinetic military action, czars aplenty where is the transparency? Lock reporters in the closet polling station thugs are granted clemency. O-bama doesn't know what year it is, how much we hate his Marxist plan and how clear it is. How can we be saved From this socialist knave? Trillion-dollar spending sprees are not the way to stave off looming bankruptcy. But Cloward-Piven tells Obama state control will triumph through insolvency. He launches foreign wars just like his predecessor Bush the Nazi idiot. But Barry's wars are different; if your brain can't grasp that then I truly pity it. And O- bama doesn't know what year it is. He doesn't have the slightest clue how near it is: It's seventeen seventy-three. The year of the Tea Party. Barry can you hear us? Barry can you hear us? Barry can you hear us? We will not be slaves. Hope Me, Change Me Love Me, Vote Me Hope Me, Change Me Love Me, Vote Me Barry can you hear us? Barry can you hear us? Barry can you hear us? We wll not be slaves.

Posted by: zombie at December 04, 2013 03:39 PM (+cx5n)

253 *taps foot as a possible story idea pops up*

What if the driver told two buddies whom he hated, maybe they banged his sister or that he owes money to, that he was going to be transporting a metal container. A container with danger symbols on it to hide the fact there is gold in it.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at December 04, 2013 03:39 PM (66xMn)

254 Mama, Papa try to tell me how to live." "But I don't listen to them 'cause my mind is like a sieve." Posted by: Mr. Dave at December 04, 2013 07:35 PM (F1Unt) I'M so FILTHY RICH!!!!! And I only know 3 CHORDS!!!!!

Posted by: © Sponge at December 04, 2013 03:39 PM (xmcEQ)

255 If you see Cherenkov radiation, stay the hell away.

Posted by: publius(NotBreitbartPublius) at December 04, 2013 07:33 PM (M5Os+)

Talk about a buzz kill!

You must be great at parties.
Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo

No shit. *takes glowstick out of his underwear, puts pants back on*

Posted by: Dang, who WAS dancing around to tecnho at December 04, 2013 03:40 PM (YWXTN)

256 CharlieBrown'sDildo, #141: "I read that it was a small amount (40 grams?). "Anyone know how much there actually is/" Assuming (because I don't know) that we were talking about pure cobalt-60, metallic form, that would be an awful lot of radioactivity. The stuff is about 50 curies per gram, so 2,000 curies for 40 grams (less if it's impure). To calibrate you, a curie is 37 billion emissions per second. A micro curie is what's in a smoke detector - don't eat it, but no big deal. A millicurie is something to protect yourself from. Marie herself was probably working with a curie or so, which ultimately killed her, though decades later. 2,000 curies is an oh-shit-get-away-NOW level of radioactivity.

Posted by: JPS at December 04, 2013 03:40 PM (9ziuC)

257 Niet, I didn't touch the truck.

I was looking for a nulear wessel.

Posted by: Chekov at December 04, 2013 03:40 PM (bvtgt)

258 You know, you really can't trust the news media any more.
You can't trust the news media to get the story accurately.
You can't trust the sources the media uses to get the story.
You can't trust the media to report the story without making it political.

Posted by: Geiger Müller at December 04, 2013 03:41 PM (AkR6I)

259 They found it? Intact? Yeah, I totally believe everything the Mexican government and the US government tell me.....

Posted by: the Butcher at December 04, 2013 03:43 PM (8g9qq)

260 Holy crap, I didn't know whether to laugh or cry when I read this on Wiki about the Goiania Accident that publius mentioned above. About how the thieves were able to get past the guard:

"On September 13, 1987, the guard in charge of daytime security, VoudireinÃ£o da Silva, did not show up to work, using a sick day to attend a cinema screening of Herbie Goes Bananas with his family."

Posted by: Lady in Black, in a dead thread talking to myself at December 04, 2013 03:43 PM (XB5Ak)

261 "which ultimately killed her, though decades later"

Oh c'mon, does that even count?

Posted by: Those isotopes Marie Curie was messing with at December 04, 2013 03:43 PM (YWXTN)

262 Posted by: JPS at December 04, 2013 07:40 PM (9ziuC)

But this shit has decayed a lot. It was being removed from a hospital, so my guess is that it's putting out less (half-life of 5.3 years).

But of course, opening the vessel containing anything that's emitting anything is pushing the limits of human stupidity.

And....I think it's putting out more than 40Ci/g

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at December 04, 2013 03:46 PM (oJ5Fd)

263 You can't stand too close to a nuclear reactor.

Posted by: Buck Henry at December 04, 2013 03:47 PM (5ikDv)

264 Neu thread that is full of smart poop.

Lady in Black that seems an appropriate movie to be watching.... *thud*

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at December 04, 2013 03:48 PM (66xMn)

265 CharlieBrown'sDildo, #262: Good point, and I see what you meant before. Sorry if I was explaining something you know very well!

Posted by: JPS at December 04, 2013 03:49 PM (9ziuC)

266 149 FYI, drone delivery is still available, if they need a replacement. And be sure to check out our special Cyber Wednesday pricing on Plutonium! http://tinyurl.com/nmjchup Posted by: Amazon.com at December 04, 2013 07:04 PM (8ZskC) The product reviews are hilarious.

Posted by: rickl at December 04, 2013 03:55 PM (sdi6R)

267

Yeah, it's a buzzkill. Another good one was the Los Alamos Criticality Incident. Well, there were several such incidents. This was National Security stuff and we didn't learn about them until recently.

Several incidents involved what the physicists dubbed the "demon core", a sphere of plutonium that just had a knack for causing such little oopsies. First time, a physicist working with it dropped a tungsten carbide brick on the core, which acted as a neutron reflector, causing the core to go critical. He took a lethal dose and died a few days later.

Several years later, with the same core, another physicist, Louis Slotin was doing some experiments with the same core, this time with some beryllium spheres, which were neutron reflectors. The experiments were learning the critically properties of the plutonium. He was trying to get as close to critical as possible. He was using a screwdriver to maintain a gap. If the spheres closed and completely enclosed the core, it would go supercritcal. Guess what? The screwdriver slipped. There was a nice blue flash of Cherenkov radiation. He knew he was dead.

There were some other physicists standing around watching him, sort of in an "operating theater" fashion. Slotin quickly pulled the beryllium out and terminated the reaction. He saved the others' lives by doing so quickly. They weren't close enough to get the lethal dose instantly, but would have if Slotin hadn't acted quickly.

There were many other such little oopsies. One guy's own body acted as a moderator enough to allow some assembly to go critical. He nearly recieved a lethal dose, but seperated the material fast enough to save his life.

These were top physicists at the time, which illustrates that learning about things involves risks. And even top physicsts can be fumble fingers. With plutonium.

Buzz kill big time.

Posted by: publius(NotBreitbartPublius) at December 04, 2013 03:58 PM (M5Os+)

268 Somebody needs to determine the whereabouts of @DRUNKHULK and @SooperMexican.

Posted by: losthusker at December 04, 2013 03:59 PM (r/XjE)

269 235 So we're going to have a Mexican Spiderman on our hands. El AraÃ±a vs. the Cartels! Posted by: Dirt McGirt 236 Or 50ft tarantulas on the lose. Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) Close, but no cigarillo. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tarantula_(Marvel_Comics)

Posted by: losthusker at December 04, 2013 04:07 PM (r/XjE)

270 Do these mexicans work for the Obama administration by any chance?

Posted by: sandman is very gritty just now at December 04, 2013 04:15 PM (zxaA2)

271 If you like your radiation poisoning you can keep your radiation poisoning...

Posted by: sandman is very gritty just now at December 04, 2013 04:16 PM (zxaA2)

272 Thanks again everyone for the thoughts and prayers. I'll repost on the next thread, since most of you are probably there anyway.

Posted by: DangerGirl, home sweet home at December 04, 2013 04:16 PM (GrtrJ)

273 This almost sounds like an episode of Gilligan's Island. Didn't the Professor create a nuke, jettison it out to sea, and blow up a neighboring island? Yeah, that's it.

Posted by: Fritz at December 04, 2013 04:28 PM (TKFmG)

274 I'm just saying, a cobbled stolen F150 and a little cobalt, well. We do not need no stinkin DeLoreans to cross the border. Roads are for pussies. Yes, that is a wormhole in our pants, look upon us, and leak.

Posted by: neal at December 04, 2013 04:38 PM (DEWE2)

275 Oh come on! What a bunch of B.S.. Steal radioactive material, container found "empty," oh wait, material found! Uh huh, sure. What a bunch of B.S.. Someone is covering their behind big time.

Posted by: Mistress Overdone at December 04, 2013 04:39 PM (2/oBD)

276 Used a cobalt 60 source in grad school, series amounts of shielding is used to handle it safely. Since this was going to reprocessing the radiation was probably lower than fresh stuff, still tough to handle.

Posted by: Fredlike at December 04, 2013 04:49 PM (rF/yy)

277 So, if some bad ass Masked wresters jumped back and created what is culture, you know for sure the kids are retards. Just deal with it. Never should have crashed in the back of the truck, what year is it?

Posted by: neal at December 04, 2013 04:52 PM (DEWE2)

278 Alright!!! I just knew Walter White didn't really die at the end!!! Breaking Bad movie, here we come!!!

Posted by: [/i]andycanuck[/b] at December 04, 2013 04:59 PM (4NEdy)

279 Agree with Mistress Overdone in #275: "Someone is covering their behind big time." Truckload of disaster stolen, but there's nothing to see here, move along, move along.......

Posted by: qixlqatl at December 04, 2013 05:23 PM (reovH)

280 "averring"

Ok... so I'm a physicist and a redneck. And that word just makes me want to chug some shine and shoot something. No math? Fine. No weird words unless some'un's lookin' to get hurt. hooorah?

I SAID HOORAH?

Posted by: tangonine at December 04, 2013 05:26 PM (x3YFz)

281 Radioactive material container stolen in Mexico, no surprise here, anything that is not bolted and welded down will end up missing in Mexico.

Posted by: Buffalobob at December 04, 2013 05:46 PM (r8ENS)

282 242 Another "good one" was the Goiania Incident, in Brazil back in the late '80s. Posted by: publius(NotBreitbartPublius) at December 04, 2013 07:33 PM (M5Os+) That sounds like the incident I remembered in my #12 comment.

Posted by: rickl at December 04, 2013 05:49 PM (sdi6R)

283 Wasn't this the plot line of a Vince Flynn novel?

Posted by: LurkerB at December 04, 2013 05:50 PM (KZ+oE)

284 Obama says 368,000 people are poised to find the material.

Posted by: Roscoe at December 04, 2013 05:53 PM (Tlsnj)

285 This is eerily similar to the story line of a Joseph Wambaugh novel, "The Delta Star" IIRC, wherein toxic waste was being dumped south of the border. The cops referred to the poison in question as "methyl-ethyl-badshit", which is scientific enough in this era of "anthropogenic global warming" - whatever the hell that is.

Posted by: Josh Rothman at December 04, 2013 07:11 PM (9SZnT)

Posted by: Cobalt60 at December 05, 2013 08:50 AM (ox1XP)

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