Ace of Spades HQ

October 06, 2013

Cooking Thread: Spatchocking!
— Open Blogger

Not that spatchcocking! The cooking technique.

Chicken is still comparatively inexpensive in this country, and there is no better and easier way to make great roast chicken than by flattening the bird so it cooks evenly. It takes about 30 seconds, and in addition to making over-cooking or under-cooking a thing of the past, it exposes more of the meat to whatever marinades or brines or spice rubs you feel like using, because let's face it, chicken is boring.

This took about five minutes to prepare, which I did the day before. I used a 50/50 mixture of lemon juice (with the zest) and olive oil, with salt, pepper, four crushed garlic cloves (skin on...I'm lazy) and about 1/2 tablespoon of red pepper flakes. I cooked it on a flat rack, but flat on a cookie sheet is fine too. 350 degrees in a convection oven for about 65 minutes, then I increased the heat to 400 for another 10 minutes (this was a three pound chicken...a little on the small side. adjust cooking times accordingly.) And then I ate it.

Here is a Brit with a cute accent demonstrating the technique. The skewering at the end is unnecessary, but it can't hurt. I use a serrated knife and cut the chicken with the back down. It's quicker, but either way works well. Just remember to rotate the thighs in so it stays flat.

What I usually do is spatchcock the chicken and put it in a large zip-loc bag. Then I dump whatever marinade I feel like into the bag, squish it around and then evacuate as much air as possible from the bag, so the meat is exposed to as much liquid as possible.

Cooking can be trivially simple, but with excellent results. This is an example of an easy prep and easy cooking method yielding results that are superior to many restaurants' roast chicken.

Posted by: Open Blogger at 10:38 AM | Comments (231)
Post contains 323 words, total size 2 kb.

1 Yay! food pron!

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at October 06, 2013 10:38 AM (DmNpO)

2 Where did my comment go?

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at October 06, 2013 10:40 AM (DmNpO)

3 That's a treasonous looking chicken.

Posted by: toby928© at October 06, 2013 10:40 AM (QupBk)

4 Now it's back again. I blame the NSA.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at October 06, 2013 10:40 AM (DmNpO)

5 Making me hungry.

Posted by: Vic at October 06, 2013 10:41 AM (zZbNF)

Go to Smitten Kitchen and search for the Roasted Chicken Recipe from Zuni CafÃ©. It's paired with a bread salad.

That's how you roast a chicken. Works perfect.

Posted by: garrett at October 06, 2013 10:44 AM (Xa1j4)

7 I eat all my chicken smothered in salsa.

Posted by: Jesse Pinkman at October 06, 2013 10:44 AM (A/ga/)

8 oh, and I can't help but think about our lovely LauraW whenever someone says 'Spatchcock'.

Posted by: garrett at October 06, 2013 10:44 AM (Xa1j4)

9 Remember to brine the bird first in 1 cup salt per gallon of water. Brine a whole bird one hour.

Posted by: Cicero Kid at October 06, 2013 10:44 AM (DHQv9)

10 Spread em baby

Posted by: Roosterman at October 06, 2013 10:44 AM (LpbKr)

11 Thank God! The last thread was getting hoary and depressing.

Posted by: backhoe at October 06, 2013 10:45 AM (ULH4o)

12 Damn that looks good.

Posted by: RWC at October 06, 2013 10:45 AM (LpbKr)

13 cdb he didn't keep and cook the "pope's nose"?

Posted by: phoenixgirl @phxazgrl at October 06, 2013 10:45 AM (8JJ6O)

14 All I wanted was a Pepsi..

...a Pepsi

Posted by: How long must we sing this song at October 06, 2013 10:45 AM (W+vT6)

15 I bet that would do well on the grill....BRB

Posted by: CrotchetyOldJarhead at October 06, 2013 10:45 AM (P1Tw6)

16 another great Moron Horde Style Cooking technique is the 30 second cajun outdoor US Military Radar Microwave cooking method....

step 1 use police tape to cordon off a 3sq yd area....

step 2 aim radar array at chicken

Step 3 ENGAGE #1

Step 4 eat chicken half a minute later

Posted by: Sven10077 at October 06, 2013 10:45 AM (9jfyN)

No gun thread?

Just joking. Actually, if a cooking thread becomes a regular feature, AOSHQ becomes you one truly one-stop blog for everything good in life - guns, food, booze, and the futile, despairing railing against the idiocy of our times so beloved of some of us reich-wingers.

Besides that, just savor the idea of a post on spatchcocking by a poster named Charlie Brown's Dildo.

Posted by: non-purist at October 06, 2013 10:46 AM (afQnV)

"From time to time the chicken of Liberty needs to be slow cooked in a green mole sauce and enjoyed with fresh corn tortillas."

-Stuff that Jefferson Cooked Vol. I

Posted by: garrett at October 06, 2013 10:46 AM (Xa1j4)

Oh, and I forgot - AOSHQ also for pointy elbows. Like the ones below. Wow.

Posted by: non-purist at October 06, 2013 10:47 AM (afQnV)

20 Posted by: garrett at October 06, 2013 02:46 PM (Xa1j4) i have tea on my monitor..... careful... flatbush joe will report you

Posted by: phoenixgirl @phxazgrl at October 06, 2013 10:47 AM (8JJ6O)

21 Besides that, just savor the idea of a post on spatchcocking by a poster named Charlie Brown's Dildo. Posted by: non-purist at October 06, 2013 02:46 PM (afQnV) He pussied out. It's signed "CBD"

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at October 06, 2013 10:47 AM (GEICT)

he didn't keep and cook the "pope's nose"?

I saw these on a skewer for sale at a grill in the Philippines. The were simply and adequately labeled "Chicken Ass".

Posted by: Cicero Kid at October 06, 2013 10:48 AM (DHQv9)

23 I'm pretty sure spatchcocking is the Horde's favorite word.

After fuck of course.

Posted by: alexthechick - Really Universe Really? at October 06, 2013 10:48 AM (Gk3SS)

24 Can I just bash it with a hammer?

Posted by: Beagle at October 06, 2013 10:49 AM (sOtz/)

25 Wait, where do you put the bacon?

Posted by: mrp at October 06, 2013 10:49 AM (HjPtV)

26 Posted by: garrett at October 06, 2013 02:44 PM (Xa1j4)

I'll freely admit that. Zuni is the best roast chicken on earth.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at October 06, 2013 10:49 AM (/kU/5)

27 21 BC1981,

In deference to Ed Morrissey "To be Fair TM" CBD is one of those Ace Pilots of the Moron Flying Circus who would be well served by a TV Network Beep gun....

the Nick is altered on Twitter as well....

#Horde

Posted by: Sven10077 at October 06, 2013 10:49 AM (9jfyN)

28 After fuck of course. Posted by: alexthechick - Really Universe Really? at October 06, 2013 02:48 PM (Gk3SS) Such a versatile word.

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at October 06, 2013 10:49 AM (GEICT)

29 OT, couldn't help myself:

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LOL PRESIDENT OBAMA, LOL ...

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Yours truly,
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October 6, 2013 - The day it dawned on me what my new patient-doctor software vendor relationship will look like! I know this story! I'm going to Med School so I can be leet and compile my own healthcare kernel and run state of the art Linux mods forever! As long as I don't have to debug a kernel panic on my own, it'll be straight!

Posted by: ROFLMAO-In-Texas at October 06, 2013 10:49 AM (r3qL4)

30 My own favorite roast whole chicken recipe involves meyer lemons from my tree and lots of cumin, and shallots. Under the skin with the lemon slices, on the skin with olive oil and cumin and salt/pepper, shallots roasting below the rack in some oil and chicken juices and stock. Take the shallots our after 1 hour, puree them with the pan juices and stock and white wine when chicken's done, then reduce a little on the stove. Pretty unbelievable. But you need fresh meyer lemons to make it work.

Posted by: non-purist at October 06, 2013 10:50 AM (afQnV)

31 AtC? You wanna take that one Empress?

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at October 06, 2013 10:50 AM (GEICT)

32 23 AlexTheChick,

I'm pretty fond of SMOD as well.....

the stylebook needs a bonus points system for the top 25 horde words

Posted by: Sven10077 at October 06, 2013 10:50 AM (9jfyN)

33 I desperately want Giada de Larentiis to wisper 'spatchcock' in my ear.

Posted by: Cicero Kid at October 06, 2013 10:51 AM (DHQv9)

34 Posted by: phoenixgirl @phxazgrl at October 06, 2013 02:45 PM (8JJ6O)

That's the one problem with spatchcocking.

I have tried to split the spine with a knife, just to preserve "the pope's nose," but it doesn't cook as well, and the pan gravy is flavored with some of the crap along the spine that can be bitter or sharp.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at October 06, 2013 10:51 AM (/kU/5)

35 24 Beagle,

Chicken in a basket

http://youtu.be/HCmGnljUjc8

Posted by: Sven10077 at October 06, 2013 10:52 AM (9jfyN)

36 AtC? You wanna take that one Empress? Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at October 06, 2013 02:50 PM (GEICT)

Why, yes, yes, I do.

Also, to add to the delectation, spatchcocking is spelled wrong in the headline.

Posted by: ROFLMAO-In-Texas at October 06, 2013 02:49 PM (r3qL4)

You have .39132 seconds to give me all your caps. Otherwise, well, I like to vary this part but let's just say the Ravage will be best pleased by the end of it.

Posted by: alexthechick - Really Universe Really? at October 06, 2013 10:52 AM (Gk3SS)

I desperately want Giada de Larentiis to wisper 'spatchcock' in my ear.

What are you a Ferengi?

Posted by: garrett at October 06, 2013 10:52 AM (Xa1j4)

38 OT:

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CATSA disclosed the following Airport Screening Results
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Terrorists Discovered 0
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Enlarged Prostates 8,249
Breast Implants 59,350
Natural Blondes 3

It was also discovered that 308 politicians had no balls.
Thought you'd like to know

Posted by: Cheri at October 06, 2013 10:53 AM (4NxKJ)

39 So CBD, how does one spatchcock without splitting the spine (OK, I haven't bothered to view the video yet)?

Posted by: non-purist at October 06, 2013 10:54 AM (afQnV)

40 Also, to add to the delectation, spatchcocking is spelled wrong in the headline. hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at October 06, 2013 10:54 AM (GEICT)

41 My flattened chicken recipe, which I make a lot, because it's easy, and delicious. Sauteed Chicken Breasts with Parmesan Cheese serves 4 1) flatten 4 boneless, skinless chicken breasts between wax paper with a meat hammer or rolling pin 2) On a plate, combine 1/4 cup parmesan (Parmigiano-Reggiano), 2 Tablespoons flour, and a little salt and pepper 3) Coat each breast evenly with the cheese mixture 4) In a large saute pan or frying pan, over medium-high heat, melt 2 Tablespoons unsalted butter and 2 Tablespoons of olive oil. When hot, add the chicken breasts (in 2 batches if pan is not big enough) and saute until golden and cooked through 4-5 minutes per side. (Juices should be clear when breast pierced with a knife tip.) Move breasts to a warm plate. 5) Pour off excess fat from pan, and return to medium heat. Add 1/3 cup dry white vermouth, stirring to dislodge bits on pan, then add 2-3 Tablespoons of capers (that were rinsed and drained) and boil for a few seconds. 6) Spoon caper sauce over chicken breasts and serve. Awesome. Just needs a veggie nearby, and it's a perfect meal. *from simple classics cookbook

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at October 06, 2013 10:54 AM (IXrOn)

42 Aluminum foil around the pan makes it lot easier to clean. Someone is going to work to clean that pan above.

Posted by: Vic at October 06, 2013 10:54 AM (zZbNF)

43 The Bears are getting spatchcocked by the Saints.

Posted by: garrett at October 06, 2013 10:55 AM (Xa1j4)

There really should be Horde cookbook.

Posted by: CrotchetyOldJarhead at October 06, 2013 10:55 AM (bxpf3)

45 42 Vic,

Oddly Vic Ceti Alpha V's sandstorm clean the pots just fine...

//Khan Noonian Singh

Posted by: Sven10077 at October 06, 2013 10:56 AM (9jfyN)

46 And to go with your chicken yo can make the Shutdown Breezer.

Get your largest tumbler and fill it with ice.

Add One measure of Soda Stream Diet Pink Grapefruit syrup.
Add One measure of Orange Juice.
Add 2-3 measures of Vodka.
Fill the rest of the way with soda water.

Stir until well mixed.

Top with lime.

It's refreshing and you will be drunk fairly quickly.

Posted by: Kreplach at October 06, 2013 10:56 AM (hmUex)

47 I oven roasted some sweet potatoes, apples, red onion, and turkey sausage yesterday. It was fantastic and easy. I've had to find a bunch of recipes that don't involve a lot of standing around in the kitchen because of my stupid back.

Posted by: no good deed at October 06, 2013 10:56 AM (k55Fc)

48 Posted by: non-purist at October 06, 2013 02:54 PM (afQnV)

I will defer to AtC. She seems to be an expert on all things "spatchcocking," but culinary and other.

[spelling fixed]

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at October 06, 2013 10:56 AM (/kU/5)

49 OT: We really, really need a burning Constitution .gif for threads like the one immediately below for each time the SCOAMT pulls another unconstitutional stunt.

Posted by: Conservative Crank at October 06, 2013 10:57 AM (sQ0LB)

50 So CBD, how does one spatchcock without splitting the spine (OK, I haven't bothered to view the video yet)?

Posted by: non-purist at October 06, 2013 02:54 PM (afQnV)

I needed an English-to-English translation, but I think he used scissors to remove the spine.

Er, that brings back some bad associations. Bad chicken.

Posted by: Beagle at October 06, 2013 10:58 AM (sOtz/)

51 My flattened chicken recipe, which I make a lot, because it's easy, and delicious.

I will admit to be fond of any recipe the includes "Then pound on it with a hammer".

Posted by: alexthechick - Really Universe Really? at October 06, 2013 10:58 AM (Gk3SS)

52 Posted by: Vic at October 06, 2013 02:54 PM (zZbNF)

You are correct. It takes a lot of elbow grease to get it clean. But it's worth it.

Actually, the rack is a pain to clean as well.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at October 06, 2013 10:58 AM (/kU/5)

53 I'll admit that I usually buy rotisserie chickens if I need a whole chicken that day. I cook everything else from scratch, but somehow I haven't gotten out of that habit. *dodges foodie tomatoes*

Posted by: Lauren at October 06, 2013 10:59 AM (ELdpj)

54 Very pleased to see a cooking thread here.

The butterfly/spatchcock technique is great for quick and predictable roasting. The only drawback is that it doesn't really give you any way to deal with the fact that the breast cooks quicker than the legs. I use it for quail, which has a hardier breast, but for chicken, I keep it whole and roast on all four sides, with little or no time spent on the breast-up side. That tends to even things out.

Posted by: Splunge at October 06, 2013 10:59 AM (bKA83)

55 Breastbone, something.

Posted by: Beagle at October 06, 2013 10:59 AM (sOtz/)

56 Our favorite roast chicken recipe is to go to Costco on Friday night and buy one.

Posted by: Caliban at October 06, 2013 10:59 AM (DrC22)

57 I will admit to be fond of any recipe the includes "Then pound on it with a hammer". Posted by: alexthechick - Really Universe Really? at October 06, 2013 02:58 PM (Gk3SS) [comment redacted] [comment redacted] [comment redacted]

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at October 06, 2013 10:59 AM (GEICT)

58 Smush some homemade pickled mushrooms inside the chicken.

Posted by: 13times at October 06, 2013 11:00 AM (fGPLK)

59 beer butt chicken...

Posted by: redc1c4 at October 06, 2013 11:00 AM (q+fqH)

60 Put the chicken in a plastic bag and then stand on it.

Posted by: eman at October 06, 2013 11:00 AM (AO9UG)

61 Yeah, you Gosnell the breastbone. And then do CPR on the spine.

Posted by: Beagle at October 06, 2013 11:01 AM (sOtz/)

62 Should not that dead, spatch-cocked bird be resting comfortably above a bed of hardwood coals?

Posted by: Cicero Kid at October 06, 2013 11:01 AM (DHQv9)

63 Sounds familiar. Is it 2011 again?

Posted by: weft cut-loop [/i] [/b] at October 06, 2013 11:01 AM (Yg5fV)

64 Our favorite roast chicken recipe is to go to Costco on Friday night and buy one. Posted by: Caliban at October 06, 2013 02:59 PM (DrC22)

Yup. Why would I go to all that hassle when someone has done it for me for ridiculously cheap?

Posted by: alexthechick - Really Universe Really? at October 06, 2013 11:01 AM (Gk3SS)

65 Pruning shears one, chicken nothing.

Posted by: eman at October 06, 2013 11:01 AM (AO9UG)

66 52 Actually, the rack is a pain to clean as well.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at October 06, 2013 02:58 PM (/kU/5)

Spray a little Pam on the rack and it makes it easier to clean.

Posted by: Vic at October 06, 2013 11:01 AM (zZbNF)

67 Posted by: Splunge at October 06, 2013 02:59 PM (bKA83)

Crunch that baby down....hard. Push on the breast until the breast bone and some ribs crack, and it will flatten out nicely. Don't be gentle; it likes it rough.

Also, I cook at a lower temp than most, and that seems to keep the breast moist.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at October 06, 2013 11:02 AM (/kU/5)

53 I'll admit that I usually buy rotisserie chickens if I need a whole chicken that day. I cook everything else from scratch, but somehow I haven't gotten out of that habit

This is how I start when making chicken tamales.

Posted by: Cicero Kid at October 06, 2013 11:02 AM (DHQv9)

You know, you can pound other meats.

Just sayin'.

Posted by: The Chicken at October 06, 2013 11:03 AM (Xa1j4)

70 Remember to brine the bird first in 1 cup salt per gallon of water. Brine a whole bird one hour. Posted by: Cicero Kid at October 06, 2013 02:44 PM (DHQv9) And, after brining, dry the heck out of it. To get crispy skin, the skin needs to be dried first.

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at October 06, 2013 11:03 AM (IXrOn)

71 "This is how I start when making chicken tamales." Same here with enchiladas.

Posted by: Lauren at October 06, 2013 11:03 AM (ELdpj)

72 64 Our favorite roast chicken recipe is to go to Costco on Friday night and buy one. Posted by: Caliban at October 06, 2013 02:59 PM (DrC22) Yup. Why would I go to all that hassle when someone has done it for me for ridiculously cheap? Posted by: alexthechick - Really Universe Really? at October 06, 2013 03:01 PM (Gk3SS) We typically will get two roasters. We eat one for dinner that night. The leftovers and the second bird is used when my wife makes Chicken Noodle Soup the next day. Holymotherfuckingsonofabastardbitch is that soup good.

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at October 06, 2013 11:03 AM (GEICT)

73 Dear Master Yoda, Do you guys cook chicken with the Force?

Posted by: eman at October 06, 2013 11:03 AM (AO9UG)

*sobs quietly*

Haven't I endured enough?

Posted by: The Chicken at October 06, 2013 11:04 AM (ruCZw)

75 COJ mentioned grilling that and I'd been thinking the same. *Would* a chicken like that work in a smoker and, if so, what wood would you recommend? I currently have mesquite, cherry, and Jack Daniel barrel chips.

Posted by: Polliwog the 'Ette, assault Hobbit at October 06, 2013 11:05 AM (Pexsc)

76 Any of youse bastards try to patch my cock, I'll fillet 'ya.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at October 06, 2013 11:05 AM (NjJzM)

*more quiet sobbing*

So much cocking...

Posted by: The Chicken at October 06, 2013 11:05 AM (ruCZw)

78 "compositely?"

Posted by: filbert at October 06, 2013 11:07 AM (FUbuZ)

79 If overcooked, the Chicken of Liberty can get pretty dry.

*ducks*

Posted by: Julia Child at October 06, 2013 11:07 AM (9hu1I)

80 53>> I'm with ya Lauren. We call it pick-a-chicken and it generally shows up on school nights. Goes good on fresh flour tortillas and sprinkled generously with cilantro, cotija cheese, advocado and pineapple. Accompanied by red quinoa. And a cold one.

Posted by: CrotchetyOldJarhead at October 06, 2013 11:07 AM (gaOtJ)

81 "compositely?" Posted by: filbert at October 06, 2013 03:07 PM (FUbuZ)

Grammar. Now with extra spatchcocking!

Posted by: alexthechick - Really Universe Really? at October 06, 2013 11:08 AM (Gk3SS)

82 Compositely spatchcocking a chicken . . .

Actually sounds like something that would be high on a Moron's list of Things To Do . . .

Posted by: filbert at October 06, 2013 11:08 AM (FUbuZ)

83 Spatchcocking works great on turkeys, too. Cook's Illustrated featured a recipe in which the bird is patted with cornstarch and allowed to dry, then cooked at a lower temp to render the fat under the skin. This allows a beautiful glaze to stick to the chicken.

Posted by: Miley's Tongue at October 06, 2013 11:08 AM (R+h7Q)

84 Posted by: filbert at October 06, 2013 03:07 PM (FUbuZ)

Wow. Apparently I can't spell....at all.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at October 06, 2013 11:08 AM (/kU/5)

*Would* a chicken like that work in a smoker and, if so, what wood would you recommend?

Hold on, I'll send you a pic.

Posted by: Cooking with Carlos Danger at October 06, 2013 11:08 AM (Xa1j4)

86 I have like no time left today which is sad but I wanted to say I Like Food Threads. I also like chicken, though I am so lazy I'd rather just deal with Parts than even spatchcocking, which is not that hard. I sometimes make a sauce that's primarily soy and teriyaki with some italian seasonings (and water of course) to "bake/boil" chicken in. The reduced remainder makes a great stir fry starter if you don't reduce it to charcoal.

Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith's Other Mobile[/i][/b][/s][/u] at October 06, 2013 11:08 AM (qyfb5)

87 The Giants are trying to spatchcock the eagles.

Posted by: Kreplach at October 06, 2013 11:09 AM (hmUex)

88 If the breast tends to dry out, barding helps. Two strips of bacon on each side of the chicken breast can help a lot.

Posted by: mrp at October 06, 2013 11:09 AM (HjPtV)

89 I just did mental math on spatchcocking the last turkey I had and it would require two goes - or two ovens.

Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith's Other Mobile[/i][/b][/s][/u] at October 06, 2013 11:09 AM (qyfb5)

barding helps.

How does singing to it help?

Posted by: garrett at October 06, 2013 11:10 AM (Xa1j4)

91 If the breast tends to dry out, barding helps. Two strips of bacon on each side of the chicken breast can help a lot.

Very funny.

Posted by: The Muezzin Chef at October 06, 2013 11:10 AM (9hu1I)

92 Posted by: Polliwog the 'Ette, assault Hobbit at October 06, 2013 03:05 PM (Pexsc)

I smoked two spatchcocked chickens last month, and they turned out fantastic. I used a BBQ rub on one, and the recipe I mentioned above on the other.

Mesquite is a bit strong for chicken, but really, it's what you lie that counts.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at October 06, 2013 11:11 AM (/kU/5)

"88 If the breast tends to dry out, barding helps."

Bard me, big boy!

Posted by: Meggie Mac at October 06, 2013 11:11 AM (DHQv9)

94 Ugh. That all-caps thing has been cut-n-pasted in all the threads. Makes my eyes bleed even when not reading it.

Posted by: Polliwog the 'Ette, assault Hobbit at October 06, 2013 11:12 AM (Pexsc)

95 I like Alder and / or Apple Woods for birds.

Posted by: garrett at October 06, 2013 11:12 AM (Xa1j4)

96 Bard me, big boy! Posted by: Meggie Mac at October 06, 2013 03:11 PM (DHQv9) I'm not even sure I'd spatchcock you.

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at October 06, 2013 11:12 AM (GEICT)

97 Is this the gun thread?

Posted by: John Smith at October 06, 2013 11:13 AM (wR+pz)

98 How does singing to it help? Posted by: garrett

Water-bard the cook for a couple of minutes and he sings like a bird.

Posted by: mrp at October 06, 2013 11:14 AM (HjPtV)

99 Haha! Lookit that guy! What an idiot!

Posted by: Tosh Turkey at October 06, 2013 11:15 AM (gQKHE)

100 Posted by: Polliwog the 'Ette, assault Hobbit at October 06, 2013 03:12 PM (Pexsc)

Fixed

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at October 06, 2013 11:15 AM (/kU/5)

101 CBD@92 Agreed on the mesquite. Was fantastic in pork but a little overwhelming on the chicken. I'm a novice at smoking so all advice is welcome. I'm going to use the mesquite smoked chicken in a chicken potpie. Hopefully that will soften the flavor a little.

Posted by: Polliwog the 'Ette, assault Hobbit at October 06, 2013 11:15 AM (Pexsc)

102 Oh, God, now I've got a medieval madrigal-like soundtrack about spatchcocking going on in my head right now. This is what happens when I go too long without alcohol.

I hate all you guys. Srsly.

Posted by: filbert at October 06, 2013 11:16 AM (FUbuZ)

103 Toss the smoked chicken into a gumbo.

Posted by: garrett at October 06, 2013 11:16 AM (Xa1j4)

104 Korean marinade:
Half a cup of soy sauce
Couple slivers grated ginger (optional)
One finely chopped green onion stalk and bulb
3 tbs of sesame oil
3 tbs sugar
3 cloves of garlic, crushed
1 tbs sesame seed
1 tbs cooking sherry

Posted by: 13times at October 06, 2013 11:17 AM (fGPLK)

105 Was that chicken on federal land? Cause if it was I will need to forcibly remove it from your belly.

Posted by: King Barky at October 06, 2013 11:18 AM (WGm5T)

106 **Lute Solo**

Posted by: garrett at October 06, 2013 11:18 AM (Xa1j4)

107 I made Alton Brown's spatchcocked cured turkey for Thanksgiving, it was a huge hit. Essentially the same technique that's used to make peking duck. Super crispy skin and super juicy meat.

Here is the video:

http://youtu.be/QisxDBRqfiM?t=11m30s

Posted by: Jose at October 06, 2013 11:18 AM (zc/sw)

108 Mary Spatch?

Posted by: Randy Medieval Bard at October 06, 2013 11:19 AM (sOtz/)

109 To get all of the air out of your brining bag, fill a pot with water, zip up all but an inch if your bag, and force it down into the pot right up to the one inch opening, then zip closed. Poor man's vacuum sealer.

Posted by: Tutu at October 06, 2013 11:19 AM (CpWI4)

110 No fair near-stealth-editing "compositely," CBD.

It was fun!

I still think "composite spatchcocking" could be A Thing.

But I'm a bit weird. Y'all might have noticed.

Posted by: filbert at October 06, 2013 11:19 AM (FUbuZ)

111 OT, but just checked and healthcare.gov is officially down right now. "The System is down at the moment. We're working to resolve the issue as soon as possible. Please try again later." Best rollout eva, right Obama?

Posted by: Lauren at October 06, 2013 11:20 AM (ELdpj)

112

104 Korean marinade:

From the cookbook: "One Hundred Ways to Wok a Dog".

Posted by: Cicero Kid at October 06, 2013 11:20 AM (DHQv9)

113 75>> we use a lot of pecan at my place.

Posted by: CrotchetyOldJarhead at October 06, 2013 11:21 AM (A9hpr)

114 Garret @103 I've got some pecan-smoked sausage that is too strong to eat by itself (although the baked veggie-sausage recipe above is intriguing). Would that work with the chicken? What else goes in a gumbo?

Posted by: Polliwog the 'Ette, assault Hobbit at October 06, 2013 11:21 AM (Pexsc)

115 I was wondering which one of you thought up the Bailey's dipped roasted marshmallow I came across. That is genius.

Posted by: no good deed at October 06, 2013 11:21 AM (k55Fc)

116
This thread is the most disgusting ever posted at the HQ, and each of you conspirators who relish the idea of mutilating my relatives and friends will suffer a fate far worse than death.

Just the idea of consuming my grandmother should make you regurgitate like a liberal high school chick after she sucks her first dick.

Posted by: The Chicken at October 06, 2013 11:22 AM (pJF+c)

117 Hello? Wild Hog... Relatively cheap, the cost of a 30-30 round and you won't ever eat store bought pig again, Besides other than farm raised. Most of the chicken are Texas shit eaters..

Posted by: Jet Built Around Cannon at October 06, 2013 11:22 AM (4L2D1)

118

" because let's face it, chicken is boring."

That's not what you told me last night.

Posted by: The Chicken at October 06, 2013 11:22 AM (DHQv9)

119

@111

I have a cute squirrel now, y'all!

Posted by: Chad Henderson at October 06, 2013 11:22 AM (sOtz/)

120 where's the ~~white~~ full-spectrumed gravy???

Posted by: Paula Dean at October 06, 2013 11:23 AM (Pr6hk)

121 >What else goes in a gumbo?

Kitchen sink.

Posted by: 13times at October 06, 2013 11:23 AM (fGPLK)

122 Best rollout eva, right Obama?

Posted by: Lauren

You know I'm beginning to think this Bronco O'bama wasn't the knowledgeable, competent community organizer he said he was.

Posted by: weft cut-loop [/i] [/b] at October 06, 2013 11:23 AM (Yg5fV)

123 Posted by: filbert at October 06, 2013 03:19 PM (FUbuZ)

No....I admit my screw-ups. And there seem to be quiet a few today.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at October 06, 2013 11:23 AM (/kU/5)

124

re the sidebar articles. The WaPo and the Nevada paper and Chris Wallace are chiding the JEF for refusing to negotiate? Whaaaa? Seems the tide is turning, against the JEF

Posted by: thunderb at October 06, 2013 11:23 AM (zOTsN)

125 Damn that chicken looks good. I'm a vegetarian though, so no dice.

Posted by: Yoshi, Aggrieved Victim of the White Man at October 06, 2013 11:24 AM (YNK3y)

126 Just keep spatchcocking that chicken, Barack.

Posted by: can't believe it hasn't been done yet at October 06, 2013 11:24 AM (m4gAJ)

127 OT, but just checked and healthcare.gov is officially down right now.

They'd be smarter to spatchcock it.

(i.e. rip out its backbone.)

(There, it's on topic now.)

Posted by: filbert at October 06, 2013 11:24 AM (FUbuZ)

128 You folk who brine, I notice that brining for an hour has been suggested. Is that an hour per pound? I usually brine a turkey anywhere from 8 to 24 hours depending on size and (blush) how thawed i managed to get it before the brine begins.

Posted by: Ragamuffin at October 06, 2013 11:25 AM (fzFF6)

129 No....I admit my screw-ups. And there seem to be quiet a few today.

Er . . .

(OK, OK, it's not as if I never ever do the typo thing . . .)

Posted by: filbert at October 06, 2013 11:26 AM (FUbuZ)

130

>>What else goes in a gumbo?

okra, onions, celery, pepper, stock/broth, roux, smoked sausage/andouille, chicken, bay leaf, cajun seasonings.

Posted by: garrett at October 06, 2013 11:26 AM (Xa1j4)

131 also the Patriots getting beat by the Bengals. That is awesome

Posted by: thunderb at October 06, 2013 11:26 AM (zOTsN)

132 117 <

NorCal wild boar and Utah elk - best cuts of meat I've ever tasted.

And grandpappy was a cattle rancher, no less.

Posted by: 13times at October 06, 2013 11:26 AM (fGPLK)

133 Chicken looks Ok , but apparently from the crust in that pan, you have not hired any mucho needed Hispaniards for KP Duty..

Posted by: Jet Built Around Cannon at October 06, 2013 11:26 AM (4L2D1)

134 Posted by: Ragamuffin at October 06, 2013 03:25 PM (fzFF6)

There are fantastic brining recipes everywhere, but I have never seen a one hour brine for a chicken.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at October 06, 2013 11:27 AM (/kU/5)

135

(i.e. rip out its backbone.)

--------- ------- ------ -------

I really need to figure out which side of a chicken is up apparently. It is a known unknown which I thought I finally knew, but remains unknown I now realize.

Posted by: Beagle at October 06, 2013 11:27 AM (sOtz/)

136 I spatchcocked the whole health care roll out but if you watch MSM you will never know.

Posted by: King Barky at October 06, 2013 11:27 AM (WGm5T)

137 I did the brining thing last year. It was very good. Those Reynolds turkey-sized roasting bags come in handy for brining turkeys and pork shoulders.

Posted by: mrp at October 06, 2013 11:27 AM (HjPtV)

138 130>> maybe some rice?

Posted by: CrotchetyOldJarhead at October 06, 2013 11:28 AM (P1Tw6)

139 Chicken? I'm not a chicken. Well maybe that chicken's skin tone does bear a faint resemblance, but I'm not a chicken.

Harry Reid may be a chickhawk however.

Posted by: John Boehner at October 06, 2013 11:28 AM (Pr6hk)

140

They should rename the Chicago QB "Cutlet", because NO has been inhumanely slaughtering him all afternoon.

Just keepin' it veal, homies

Posted by: DAve at October 06, 2013 11:28 AM (b7yum)

141 Posted by: 13times at October 06, 2013 03:26 PM (fGPLK)

Wild boar is incredible.

Around here the only boar available is at game farms, where they raise Russian boar, and then release it for you to shoot. Not terribly sporting. I don't know why people bother.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at October 06, 2013 11:28 AM (/kU/5)

142 A whole 2-4 pound bird should be brined for an hour. Do not salt the bird before cooking. Wipe with paper towels then air dry for an hour or so for really crispy skin. You can dry it in the refrigerator during the summer. In the cooler months, I just set it outside.

Posted by: The Chicken at October 06, 2013 11:29 AM (DHQv9)

143 I have more experience brining salmon fillets. One lesson learned is not to brine longer than 2-3 hours.

Posted by: mrp at October 06, 2013 11:29 AM (HjPtV)

144 The only time I use the kitchen boning shears is for that dadgummed plastic packaging when you buy some kind of toy.

Posted by: Mustbequantum at October 06, 2013 11:30 AM (MIKMs)

145 I once experimented with a Meyer lemon colored dildo, well we experimented.

Posted by: King Barky at October 06, 2013 11:30 AM (WGm5T)

146 of course Patriots now about to score, because I wrote that

Posted by: thunderb at October 06, 2013 11:30 AM (zOTsN)

147 I'm going to use the mesquite smoked chicken in a chicken potpie. Hopefully that will soften the flavor a little. Posted by: Polliwog the 'Ette, assault Hobbit at October 06, 2013 03:15 PM (Pexsc) Chef's secrets: Liquid Smoke

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at October 06, 2013 11:31 AM (IXrOn)

148 Chef Cat wants to weigh in on this
http://www.ufunk.net/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/selection-du-weekend-56-47.jpg

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at October 06, 2013 11:31 AM (TZjxi)

149

also OT

did you know Jessica Simpson named her new baby ACE?

just saying

Posted by: thunderb at October 06, 2013 11:31 AM (zOTsN)

150

>>> maybe some rice?

You are thinking Jumbalaya. I pour my gumbo over that.

Posted by: garrett at October 06, 2013 11:31 AM (Xa1j4)

151 117>> One of the mechs shot a small hog (dressed out at @ 65 lbs) one afternoon by the runway. Soaked it in buttermilk overnight and grilled it the next afternoon..... Pretty righteous grazin.

Posted by: CrotchetyOldJarhead at October 06, 2013 11:32 AM (KuUy9)

152 Jambalaya.

Posted by: garrett at October 06, 2013 11:32 AM (Xa1j4)

153

Posted by: CrotchetyOldJarhead at October 06, 2013 03:32 PM (KuUy9

We shoot feral pigs up here, sometimes. That's some fine eating, right there.

Posted by: garrett at October 06, 2013 11:33 AM (Xa1j4)

154 Pulled the butterfly move on a turkey one year. It was good.

Posted by: nip at October 06, 2013 11:33 AM (jI23+)

155

"There are fantastic brining recipes everywhere, but I have never seen a one hour brine for a chicken."

Don't confuse 'brine' with 'marinade'. Poultry brine does not add flavor. It produces exceptionally moist chicken, very important when cooking chicken breast. Moisture is added into the meat by osmosis. 1/4 cup salt to one quart of water. Brine a whole bird for an hour, cut up pieces thirty minutes. No need to rinse, just drain and dry the bird if roasting.

Posted by: Cicero Kid at October 06, 2013 11:33 AM (DHQv9)

156 How important is Calvin Johnson to Detroit's playoff hopes? 4th quarter Green Bay 16-3 over the Lions.

Posted by: mrp at October 06, 2013 11:33 AM (HjPtV)

157 149 Sure that's not Ace JR.???

Posted by: DAve at October 06, 2013 11:34 AM (b7yum)

158 OT, but just checked and healthcare.gov is officially down right now. "The System is down at the moment. We're working to resolve the issue as soon as possible. Please try again later." Best rollout eva, right Obama? Posted by: Lauren at October 06, 2013 03:20 PM (ELdpj) they announced "down for maintenance" for the weekend on Friday

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at October 06, 2013 11:35 AM (IXrOn)

159 Bad IndyCar wreck. Dario Franchitti.

Posted by: Flatbush Joe at October 06, 2013 11:37 AM (ZPrif)

160
**** insert stuffing 'chicken' joke here ****

Posted by: Harry Reid is a pederast at October 06, 2013 11:38 AM (Pr6hk)

161 You can tell that I am a pretty competent and experienced executive by the way i bravely rolled out this cluster fuck of a signature health care law.

I give the roll out of ObamaCare a solid B+

Posted by: King Barky at October 06, 2013 11:39 AM (WGm5T)

162 I leave all the fancy cooking to my wife.

My specialty is stews.

Stews are like an empty net goal.

My best stew is oxtail stew.

Freaking awesome.

Posted by: Kreplach at October 06, 2013 11:39 AM (hmUex)

163 let me send you a tweet of my 'spatchcockring'

Posted by: Danger, Carlos Danger - Agent Double O Naught at October 06, 2013 11:40 AM (Pr6hk)

164 they announced "down for maintenance" for the weekend on Friday Posted by: artisanal 'ette at October 06, 2013 03:35 PM (IXrOn) My husband went on just to check the prices. After 3 days he was finally able to get the eligibility notice. He and the kids are all eligible. Me they want more information on. Yep, see you in the camps.

Posted by: Ragamuffin at October 06, 2013 11:40 AM (fzFF6)

165
Chef's secrets: Liquid Smoke

Posted by: artisanal 'ette

You'd get murdered for mentioning Liquid Smoke on a cooking forum.

Tea smoking <= that's the chef's secret.

Posted by: weft cut-loop [/i] [/b] at October 06, 2013 11:40 AM (Yg5fV)

166 Do you know if that recipe works well on dog???

Posted by: Colonel Sanders Soetoro at October 06, 2013 11:42 AM (Pr6hk)

167 Never Liquid Smoke. Never.

Posted by: garrett at October 06, 2013 11:42 AM (Xa1j4)

168 I've got the first chili of the season simmering. While I was at it, I made gingerbread for dessert. Going to serve it with vanilla ice cream and the peach-rum sauce I canned earlier this summer. Good food to eat during the ballgame.

Posted by: ruby at October 06, 2013 11:43 AM (vt4Ip)

169 Don't confuse 'brine' with 'marinade'. Poultry brine does not add flavor

Posted by: Cicero Kid at October 06, 2013 03:33 PM (DHQv9)

It salts the meat, plumps it a little with the extra liquid, and it carries dissolved stuff into the flesh.

Many brine recipes call for boiling the liquid to extract as much flavor as possible from the herbs and spices used in the brine. That's not just to dissolve the salt and sugar.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at October 06, 2013 11:43 AM (/kU/5)

170 The experts predict applicants getting their identities stolen in in droves from fake health exchanges which work. Can't wait to see how the Obumbles people shape that narrative. They are so good at that.

Posted by: Beagle at October 06, 2013 11:44 AM (sOtz/)

171

....they announced "down for maintenance" for the weekend on Friday

But...but....but....Harry Reid (Pederast - Nevada) announced on Friday that 9 million people had already signed up for Obamacare!

Posted by: Teresa in Fort Worth, TX at October 06, 2013 11:44 AM (PZ6/M)

172 "they announced "down for maintenance" for the weekend on Friday" It was supposed to only be for offpeak, middle of the night hours though, right? Regardless, guys I finally, after 6 days of trying, figured out how to view the rates on the exchanges. Can someone who has a wider twitter audience get this out? valuepenguin.com allows you to anonymously view the exchange plans available in your area, and gives the premiums based on your income.

Posted by: Lauren at October 06, 2013 11:47 AM (ELdpj)

173 Whaddaya know? It took playing St. Louis to make it happen, but the Jags have a shot at winning a game today.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at October 06, 2013 11:48 AM (DmNpO)

174 Ace Jr is not furry however

Posted by: thunderb at October 06, 2013 11:48 AM (zOTsN)

175 Bears full of suck today. No chicken for them

Posted by: thunderb at October 06, 2013 11:50 AM (zOTsN)

176 the picture looks like the chicken/turkey got it's head scattered a la zombie movie.

Posted by: tangonine at October 06, 2013 11:51 AM (x3YFz)

177 174 Ace Jr is not furry however

Posted by: thunderb at October 06, 2013 03:48 PM (zOTsN)

All Moron boys are furry. Give it a month or two and feed him bacon.

Posted by: tangonine at October 06, 2013 11:53 AM (x3YFz)

178 All I wanted was a Pepsi.. ...a Pepsi Posted by: How long must we sing this song at October 06, 2013 02:45 PM (W+vT6) Tough S**t. Suffer.

Posted by: Coca-Cola at October 06, 2013 11:53 AM (Vk2pI)

179 Did the Fighting Spatchcocks play yesterday?

Posted by: Tarheel at October 06, 2013 11:54 AM (m4gAJ)

180

bigger question

how did Ace bag Jessica Simpson?

what are the ewok's seduction techniques? Does he wait until she is asleep"\? Is leg humping part of the ritual? Roofies?

Posted by: thunderb at October 06, 2013 11:54 AM (zOTsN)

181 gaming thread up

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at October 06, 2013 11:54 AM (DmNpO)

182

how did Ace bag Jessica Simpson?

what are the ewok's seduction techniques?

Pancakes.

Posted by: garrett at October 06, 2013 11:55 AM (Xa1j4)

183 pouring buckets at Patriots Bengals game. NE about to lose

Posted by: thunderb at October 06, 2013 11:55 AM (zOTsN)

184 I thought pancakes were for after. They are before? did not see that coming

Posted by: thunderb at October 06, 2013 11:56 AM (zOTsN)

185 I rarely cook up whole chicken. I'll usually take the meat and cut it up to small chucks and and pan fry them with veggies, herbs, and spices. I'll use that as a base for soup, stews, pasta dishes, &c. I'll use the rest of the carcass to make delicious stock that makes great soups or sauces.

Posted by: The Political Hat at October 06, 2013 11:56 AM (Vk2pI)

186 Chef's secrets: Liquid Smoke Posted by: artisanal 'ette You'd get murdered for mentioning Liquid Smoke on a cooking forum. Tea smoking <= that's the chef's secret. Posted by: weft cut-loop at October 06, 2013 03:40 PM (Yg5fV) lulz same with truffle oil

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at October 06, 2013 11:57 AM (IXrOn)

187 Never Liquid Smoke. Never. Posted by: garrett at October 06, 2013 03:42 PM (Xa1j4) yet chef's use it ;-)

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at October 06, 2013 12:03 PM (IXrOn)

188 CrotchetyOldJarhead, Ever try hot corn tortillas? Really makes flavor of filling pop

Posted by: fastfreefall at October 06, 2013 12:03 PM (Tz35j)

189 44 There really should be Horde cookbook. I'll submit my famous vienna sausage casserole.

Posted by: Harrison Bergeron at October 06, 2013 12:08 PM (JQuNB)

190 I had plans to roast a chicken for dinner.

Now I have plans to spatchcock and roast a chicken for dinner.

Thanks!

Posted by: DangerGirl, home sweet home at October 06, 2013 12:09 PM (GrtrJ)

191 A damn fine imitation piri-piri chicken:

Spatchcocked chicken

Marinade/dipping sauce:

1 cup lemon juice
1 head garlic, peeled
1, 2, 3 dozen pequin or Thai peppers to taste
1/4 cup fresh parsley
1/4 cup fresh cilantro
pulse in blender until blended, reserve some for dipping

Marinade for 8+ hours

HOT charcoal grill, tent with foil to trap smoke and damp out flame: 5 minutes, turn, 5 minutes, turn, 5 minutes, turn, 5 minutes. Those wire things that you can clamp meat between make a heavier bird easier to wrangle.

That's it. Now eat your prey with its fiery juices dripping from your jaws like the world just ended and you alone remain as the dominant life form.

Posted by: Peter at October 06, 2013 12:17 PM (JouMc)

192 SPATCHCOCK! SPATCHCOCK! SPATCHCOCK!

Posted by: Gingy (It's the rule) at October 06, 2013 12:17 PM (jt8G9)

193 Dang, I'm late to a cooking thread!

I like to roast a small bird in a clay pot, surrounded by potatoes and carrots. Rub it down with a little olive oil, grated lemon peal, kosher salt and rosemary (over and under the skin). It always comes out perfect!

Posted by: Lizzy at October 06, 2013 12:18 PM (JRmiD)

194 188>> warm corn tortillas are for pulled pork

Posted by: CrotchetyOldJarhead at October 06, 2013 12:21 PM (1EJ2w)

195 Posted by: Lizzy at October 06, 2013 04:18 PM (JRmiD)

Classic recipe.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at October 06, 2013 12:22 PM (/kU/5)

196 I use a Romertopf for roasting chicken. Love it.

Posted by: Gingy (Chikn gud) at October 06, 2013 12:23 PM (jt8G9)

197 >>Classic recipe.

Yep. I like to keep it easy on weeknights!

Posted by: Lizzy at October 06, 2013 12:23 PM (JRmiD)

198 Posted by: Peter at October 06, 2013 04:17 PM (JouMc)

That's pretty spicy.

And only 20 minutes? Wow. How big a chicken do you normally use?

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at October 06, 2013 12:24 PM (/kU/5)

199 Extremely late to the thread but isn't spatchcocking what blurred lines is about?

Posted by: Strategic Corporal USMC at October 06, 2013 12:32 PM (DOWSh)

200 Posted by: Strategic Corporal USMC at October 06, 2013 04:32 PM (DOWSh)

Unfortunately not in my kitchen!

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at October 06, 2013 12:36 PM (/kU/5)

201 Anywhere from 2-4 lbs. Depending on your fire, and I'm talking wall-to-wall red coals an inch below the grill, 5-5-5-5, 6-6-6-6, 7-7-7-7. The key is to cook the meat fast and hot so it doesn't dry out and to damp out flameups and increase smoky flavor with the aluminum foil or BBQ lid cover. You're not roasting the chicken, you're grilling it like a steak, just turning it more frequently to minimize the blackening you can't avoid.

Posted by: Peter at October 06, 2013 12:38 PM (JouMc)

202 Posted by: Peter at October 06, 2013 04:38 PM (JouMc)

This looks like fun.

Lots of work at the grill though.....a few minutes of inattention and you'll be ordering a pizza.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at October 06, 2013 12:41 PM (/kU/5)

203 The Bears are getting spatchcocked by the Saints.

Posted by: garrett at October 06, 2013 02:55 PM (Xa1j4)

NCJ hardest hit, FEMA slow to react, Bush largely blamed...

Posted by: GGE of the Moron Horde, NC Chapter at October 06, 2013 12:54 PM (yh0zB)

204 I've never heard of spatchcocking but it sounds like a great idea. I have heard of brining a chicken but never tried it. Since I can't think of any reason not to spatchcock a brined chicken, I'm going to try out both at the same time this week.

Posted by: suitably adequate at October 06, 2013 01:07 PM (d0dHb)

205 That's it. Now eat your prey with its fiery juices dripping from your jaws like the world just ended and you alone remain as the dominant life form.
Posted by: Peter at October 06, 2013 04:17 PM (JouMc)

That sounds absolutely delicious. I have a decent tolerance for spicy hot stuff, but I think if I put in 3 dozen Thai chilis, it would about kill me. So maybe I'll try it with a single dozen.

Posted by: Splunge at October 06, 2013 01:11 PM (bKA83)

206 How does brining work with the "15% by volume" liquid added stuff? Still brine, no need, what?

Posted by: Polliwog the 'Ette, assault Hobbit at October 06, 2013 01:14 PM (Pexsc)

207 The end of my chili season. Final send off is a 10 pound pot so chili with 1 Carolina Reaper and 2 morteuga peppers

Posted by: The Dude at October 06, 2013 01:28 PM (vJdyz)

208 Someone mentioned "tea smoking". What is that and how does it work?

Posted by: Polliwog the 'Ette, assault Hobbit at October 06, 2013 01:30 PM (Pexsc)

209 Since I can't think of any reason not to spatchcock a brined chicken,

It cruel, for one ting -- and awso insulting to he who speak with accent.
That chicken, he not even see you coming, you roundeye garlic eater.

Posted by: Stringer Davis at October 06, 2013 01:37 PM (JNUY4)

210 Someone mentioned "tea smoking". What is that and how does it work? Posted by: Polliwog the 'Ette, assault Hobbit at October 06, 2013 05:30 PM (Pexsc) Chinese/Asian technique. Here's a good site for a brief overview: http://www.finecooking.com/videos/how-to-make-tea-smoking-packets.aspx

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at October 06, 2013 01:37 PM (IXrOn)

211 Damn, I'm late. I spatchcock (or my fake version thereof) game hens and quail for grilling, but for roast chicken i like to keep it chicken-shaped because I often stuff it.

Posted by: Y-not at October 06, 2013 01:44 PM (5H6zj)

212 211 Damn, I'm late. I spatchcock (or my fake version thereof) game hens and quail for grilling, but for roast chicken i like to keep it chicken-shaped because I often stuff it. Posted by: Y-not at October 06, 2013 05:44 PM (5H6zj) --- Heh heh ... Stuff it... Heh heh

Posted by: Beavis at October 06, 2013 01:49 PM (jt8G9)

213 Someone up thread mentioned Baileys roasted marshmallows.

How to, please

Posted by: Gidget at October 06, 2013 01:58 PM (tfg7i)

214 Someone up thread mentioned Baileys roasted marshmallows. How to, please Posted by: Gidget at October 06, 2013 05:58 PM (tfg7i) http://dabblesandbabbles.com/baileys-dipped-toasted-marshmallows/

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at October 06, 2013 02:06 PM (IXrOn)

215 Posted by: artisanal 'ette at October 06, 2013 06:06 PM (IXrOn)

Thank you a'e

Posted by: Gidget at October 06, 2013 02:08 PM (tfg7i)

216 To insure even and fast cooking, I put a foil wrapped brick across my spatchcocked bird.

Posted by: Qzsusy at October 06, 2013 02:09 PM (J0VjC)

217 Old news, but I was talking about this with a friend last night. Arsenic in Rice: New Report Finds 'Worrisome Levels' http://tinyurl.com/m9j6fc5 Arsenic levels higher in the US grown rice, although lowest in California out of all of the US grown rice. White rice, since it is hulled, is safer than the brown. I wonder if there is new news on this. I was shocked to hear this. But, then I don't always trust Consumer Reports anymore, either.

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at October 06, 2013 02:13 PM (IXrOn)

218 Spatchcock should really mean a penis that doubles as a weapon - one with spikes coming out of it. Spatchcock.

Posted by: Jesse Pinkman at October 06, 2013 02:25 PM (A/ga/)

219 217 Arsenic levels higher in the US grown rice, although lowest in California out of all of the US grown rice.

White rice, since it is hulled, is safer than the brown.

If it weren't for California being the lowest, I would have guessed that Gaia was trying to kill hippies.

Posted by: Splunge at October 06, 2013 02:32 PM (bKA83)

220 Did a quick check, artisanal, and found this: http://www.wired.com/wiredscience/2013/09/the-fda-adds-a-postscript-on-arsenic-and-rice/ Personally, I don't worry about those sorts of things because my diet is varied enough that the amount of exposure I'm getting to "risky foods" is minimal. YMMV.

Posted by: Y-not is paying for Chad's insurance at October 06, 2013 02:33 PM (5H6zj)

221 If you can get real piri-piris you should use them. I like the little pequins when I find them cause I'll toss them whole into the dipping sauce where eating one between bites of chicken isn't the hit a whole Thai pepper would be.

Obviously you can go as insane as you like:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scoville_scale#Scoville_ratings_of_peppers

Posted by: Peter at October 06, 2013 02:35 PM (JouMc)

222 Love this. This redneck thanks you Open Blogger. You saved me mucho Confederate dollars.

Posted by: NCwoof at October 06, 2013 02:36 PM (aUQgu)

223 Posted by: Polliwog the 'Ette, assault Hobbit at October 06, 2013 05:14 PM (Pexsc)

I have no idea!

That liquid is probably a weak salt solution, but that's a guess. Is getting fresh chicken problematic in your neck of the woods?

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at October 06, 2013 02:44 PM (/kU/5)

224 I had a brined turkey last year. Gotta say, it didn't do it for me. I've never had a lot of problems with turkeys drying out and now with the convection roasting oven, it's been even easier.

Posted by: Y-not is paying for Chad's insurance at October 06, 2013 02:55 PM (5H6zj)

225

Sigh - my favorite recipe for butterflied - spatchcocked chicken is one that I lifted from Cuisine at Home, yea these many years ago. (copied and pasted from my old Open Salon site, which I kicked to the curb 2 years ago. But it's still there...

This is a lovely recipe for a whole chicken, butterflied and baked on a layer of seasoned, sautÃ©ed onions and slices of stout artisanal bread. I found it in an old issue of Â“Cuisine at HomeÂ”, where it had been taken from Ari WeinzweigÂ’s Â“ZingermanÂ’s Guide to Good EatingÂ”. EnjoyÂ… but take note that the bread has to be very sturdy. My local supermarket bakery does a very nice ciabetta loaf that works well.

Sautee in 1/4 cup olive oil in a cast-iron skillet or oven-proof skillet approx. 12 inches in diameter:
3 large onions, halved, and sliced into half-moon shapes
3 cups celery, sliced

Stir in:
2 tsp. minced lemon zest
1 3/4 tsp. coarse sea or kosher salt
1 tsp. minced garlic
1/2 tsp. freshly ground pepper
1/2 tsp. dried thyme
1/2 tsp. red pepper flakes
1/4 cup chopped fresh Italian parsley

While the onion is cooking, butterfly one 3-4 lb young chicken, snipping along the backbone with kitchen shears on either side. Spread out the chicken flat, and press down with the palm of your hand on the breastbone to crack and flatten it. Rub the butterflied chicken with 2 Tbsp. olive oil, 1 tsp. freshly ground pepper, and 1/2 tsp. salt

When onions are soft and translucent, empty the onion mixture from the pan, remove from heat, and cover the bottom of the skillet with slices of the bread, cut 1/2 inch thick. The recipe calls for about half a baguette, or two ciabatta rolls. Spread out onion mixture on top of the bread, and top with the butterflied chicken, arranging it to cover as much of the surface of the onion and bread as possible. Pour over the chicken:

1/4 cup fresh lemon juice.

Roast uncovered, in a pre-heated 375 deg. oven for about an hour and a half, until beautifully golden-brown. Let stand for ten minutes after being taken out of the oven. To serve, cut chicken into quarters, and serve over a lavish spoonful of the vegetables and the bread, which will be almost caramelized on the bottom.

Posted by: Sgt. Mom at October 06, 2013 03:09 PM (Asjr7)

226 CBD@223 Not sure your definition of fresh. Everything comes wrapped in plastic says "fresh" as opposed to "previously frozen" and has app. 15% added liquid by volume. So, normal grocery store stuff. There are several carnecia and halal butchers in the general area, but I'm new and don't want to risk foodpoisoning at a completely random shop.

Posted by: Polliwog the 'Ette, assault Hobbit at October 06, 2013 03:20 PM (Pexsc)

227 http://www.wired.com/wiredscience/2013/09/the-fda-adds-a-postscript-on-arsenic-and-rice/ Personally, I don't worry about those sorts of things because my diet is varied enough that the amount of exposure I'm getting to "risky foods" is minimal. YMMV. Posted by: Y-not is paying for Chad's insurance at October 06, 2013 06:33 PM (5H6zj) thanks Y-not I see it pretty much repeats what consumer reports found, and are looking at long term effects. I eat a wide variety, too, but, it's good to know. Same for canned tuna, etc. with the mercury warnings. They seem to elude to eating other grains in so many words, to be sure to spread out the toxins. In the meantime, let me repeat FDAÂ’s advice to eat and to serve your family a balanced diet that contains a variety of grains, including wheat, barley and oats. Consistent with advice long given by the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP), we recommend that infants and young children eat a variety of grain cereals for good nutrition. According to AAP, there is no medical evidence that rice cereal has any advantage over other cereal grains as a first solid food.

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at October 06, 2013 03:26 PM (IXrOn)

228 Posted by: Sgt. Mom at October 06, 2013 07:09 PM (Asjr7) this sounds delicious

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at October 06, 2013 03:32 PM (IXrOn)

229 My kid tossed his book down open on the floor today, rather then use a bookmark. I told him not to spatchcock it - he gave a me a look, so I made him look it up.

Posted by: Jean at October 06, 2013 05:14 PM (CMlD4)

230 Great cooking idea! Thanks!

Posted by: and irresolute at October 06, 2013 05:31 PM (RqHWH)

231 I have got to make this.

Posted by: Carlos Dangerfield at October 06, 2013 05:45 PM (m0le6)

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