May 03, 2013

Daily Mail Announces New Video, Girls Gone Felony Flight Risk
— Ace


Arrested for corrupting the morals of a blogger.

You know how most women who are arrested aren't very attractive? And even those who might be marginally attractive in real life tend to look sorta bad in their mugshots?

Via @jammiewf, Not these babydolls. Whoa nelly, not these babydolls. I wouldn't kick any of them out of bed for cutting off my penis and burying it in the garden where the racoons would get at it.

Now I already gave you the Big Win from the collection of pictures so it's all downhill at the link. But the Hoosegow Honies (as Iowahawk used to call them) at the link are pretty cute.

And speaking of Winsome Slammerbunnies, America's Sweetheart, Reese Witherspoon, went all Drunken Diva on a cop, in a funny and embarrassing tirade caught on police dash-cam video.

Serious issues brought out by the video:

1. She is feisty. That's not just an act. Very Tracy Flick.

2. Also very Tracy Flick: She has given some thought to what it means to be an American, and what the rights of an American are. But not much thought. Mostly she envisions the Constitution as guaranteeing her right to stand where she likes and run her yap.

3. She's sorta trying to defend her husband (if counterproductively), who's actually the driver here who was stopped by the cops. I suppose that makes it cuter. Or cute-ish.

4. But darnit, she wants to know if you know her name, and if you don't, boy howdy!, you are So about to find out, Mister.

5. Her husband completely sells her down the river at the end and tells the cop "I tried [to stop that], that was completely one-hundred percent not my fault." I think this part is going to be An Issue at home.


Posted by: Ace at 10:59 AM | Comments (281)
Post contains 319 words, total size 2 kb.

1 Officer, please don't punish me for my crazy, drunk-ass wife. I told the bitch to sit down and shut the fuck up.

Posted by: Future Mr. Ex Reese Witherspoon at May 03, 2013 11:02 AM (ZPrif)

2 Hello felony!

Posted by: dogfish at May 03, 2013 11:02 AM (nsOJa)

3 THIS was a GREAT movie you guys!  Great review!!  Hot hotties!

Posted by: Yip at May 03, 2013 11:03 AM (/jHWN)

4 Best comment on the mugshots... "I've got some swollen goods they can handle."  Some guy in the UK.

Posted by: Dang at May 03, 2013 11:04 AM (R18D0)

5 Aww... Tori Black looks like she's gonna cry.

Posted by: Farmer Joe at May 03, 2013 11:04 AM (CyP2Z)

6 Ms. Witherspoon should be made an honorary 'ette and inducted into the horde.  Running your yap about something you know very little about when all sense tells you to STFD and STFU is prerequisite here, and boy howdy! does she make the cut.

Posted by: Mikey NTH - Pirate Scum of Umbar at May 03, 2013 11:05 AM (hLRSq)

7 At least Reese didn't call the cop "Sugardick."

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at May 03, 2013 11:05 AM (8ZskC)

8 I'll be in my cell.

Posted by: toby928 at May 03, 2013 11:05 AM (evdj2)

9 Girls in Chains....Yes, go on!

Posted by: Paladin at May 03, 2013 11:06 AM (y53d1)

10 Her husband completely sells her down the river at the end and tells the cop "I tried [to stop that], that was completely one-hundred percent not my fault." I think this part is going to be An Issue at home. ********* Oh, ya.

Posted by: tasker at May 03, 2013 11:06 AM (r2PLg)

11 If I got arrested, I wonder if the cops would use a head shot.

I have several.

Posted by: Anthony Wiener at May 03, 2013 11:06 AM (8ZskC)

12 White women with big lips. es muy bueno

Posted by: Flatbush Joe at May 03, 2013 11:07 AM (ZPrif)

13 Them "babydolls" probably look better after you've been locked up a while.

Posted by: Lucky Pierre at May 03, 2013 11:07 AM (5fSr7)

14 OT:  Excellent Wash TImes column :  ( no link, don't know how ) you guys..

KUHNER: Blowing a whistle on Benghazi

Posted by: Yip at May 03, 2013 11:07 AM (/jHWN)

15

And btw, Witherspoon didn't seem very bad in that video, not raving, not stumbling drunk.  Just a little pissed at being pulled over and told to stay in the car.  She even sir'd the cop, repeatedly.

 

I was expecting much worse.

Posted by: toby928 at May 03, 2013 11:07 AM (evdj2)

16

You could score some major ass if you hung around the lockup waiting for chicks who need bail  money.   Especially  if they were brought in on a minor drug beef or  for public intoxication.  Bring extra smokes - they'll  appreciate that  and it should help you close escrow  on the vagina deal.

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at May 03, 2013 11:08 AM (CJjw5)

17 Let's play prison.  I'll be the warden.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at May 03, 2013 11:08 AM (8ZskC)

18 Oh baby. Click the link.

Posted by: HoboJerky, now with 45% more DOOM! at May 03, 2013 11:08 AM (xAtAj)

19

That honey above can commit   whatever  she wants   to  on me.

 

Preferably a felonious fellation. "Guilty as hell, your honor!"

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit at May 03, 2013 11:08 AM (+z4pE)

20 I'm shocked the first two girls are from Florida. 

Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 03, 2013 11:08 AM (lVPtV)

21 Mr.  Witherspoon,  or whatever he goes by,  is a class A metrosexual.  Doesn't dare tell his lady to shut her yapper and then starts up the, "I didn't do it" to the cop.  Nice pick,  Reece.  But I think you'd have to be a bit of a "Yes, dear" man to marry a Hollywood actress.

Posted by: Dang at May 03, 2013 11:09 AM (R18D0)

22 Witherspoon  is a fucking amateur.  That broad who was arrested  while driving drunk in a thong and high-heels?  THAT'S a Moronette.

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at May 03, 2013 11:09 AM (CJjw5)

23 Miss El Paso... come with me, you won't need to shoplift anymore.

Posted by: HoboJerky, now with 45% more DOOM! at May 03, 2013 11:09 AM (xAtAj)

24

why does America Have A Need to Know Reese Witherspoon's minor arrest video,

 

but not the welfare or school records of confirmed terrorists

 

I'm confused

Posted by: Thunderb at May 03, 2013 11:09 AM (nH8jP)

25
The article is a bit vague on the charges against the blond hottie, depending on how you parse that sentence.

Any good suggestions from The Horde for the probable charges? Inquiring minds want to know.


Posted by: IllTemperedCur at May 03, 2013 11:09 AM (TIIx5)

26 Reminds me, Chained Heat was a cinematic classic.  That Linda Blair has some rackage.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at May 03, 2013 11:09 AM (8ZskC)

27 Gabriel aint bad either...

Posted by: HoboJerky, now with 45% more DOOM! at May 03, 2013 11:09 AM (xAtAj)

28 Yes, his throwing her under the bus will be something he's reminded of during any argument with her in the future. As for "do you know my name" it was a lot less indignant than I was imagining. And then there's the story of Snoop Dog and co. being escorted by sheriffs into a concert, smoking a joint the whole way there. So they do get a little bit of special treatment.

Posted by: Up With People! at May 03, 2013 11:09 AM (FmFB3)

29 For starters, the point at which Obama wants to eliminate the ability of you and your employer to deduct contributions to your retirement account isn’t actually the $3.4 million in his budget proposal — that’s just an estimate. The real number is how much a couple age 62 would have to pay for an annuity that yields $205,000 a year. That $3.4 million — which applies to the combined values of your pension and retirement accounts — is subject to a sharp downward change in the future because annuity issuers charge significantly less for an annuity when interest rates are higher than they do today, with rates at rock-bottom levels.

Second, I canÂ’t get past ObamaÂ’s wanting to limit saversÂ’ tax-favored accounts to only about half the value of what he stands to get from his post-presidential package. Based on numbers from Vanguard Annuity Access, I value his package at more than $6.6 million.

Posted by: KPMG at May 03, 2013 11:10 AM (e8kgV)

30 Gabrielle*

Posted by: HoboJerky, now with 45% more DOOM! at May 03, 2013 11:10 AM (xAtAj)

31 Any ridiculously photogenic non-gay puts the man in manacled sites? No I thought not.   I like them well-spoken and pasty anyway.

Posted by: SECURITY at May 03, 2013 11:10 AM (LYwCh)

32 Lindsay Lohan mug shot boner. You know your fucked up when your eyes are doing two different things.

Posted by: eleven at May 03, 2013 11:10 AM (fsLdt)

33 Chained Heat... hmmmm   yessss

Posted by: Yip at May 03, 2013 11:10 AM (/jHWN)

34

I think she was reciting an outtake from Legally Blonde 3.

Posted by: @JohnTant at May 03, 2013 11:10 AM (eytER)

35

Any good suggestions from The Horde for the probable charges?

 

Aggravated hawtitude and contributing to the delinquency of my palm.

Posted by: toby928 at May 03, 2013 11:11 AM (evdj2)

36 >>>And btw,Witherspoon didn't seem very bad in that video, not raving, not stumbling drunk. Just a little pissed at being pulled over and told to stay in the car. She even sir'd the cop, repeatedly. yeahhhh... I didn't detect that as a Sincere Sir.

Posted by: ace at May 03, 2013 11:11 AM (LCRYB)

37 Now I already gave you the Big Win from the collection of pictures so it's all downhill at the link.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.  And boy would I like to be the holder.

Posted by: dogfish at May 03, 2013 11:11 AM (nsOJa)

38 Some advice.

Amongst the top five things you don't say to a cop is; "Do you know who I am?". It runs neck and neck with "I pay your salary!".

Posted by: Marcus at May 03, 2013 11:11 AM (GGCsk)

39 >>>The article is a bit vague on the charges against the blond hottie, depending on how you parse that sentence. smuggling raisins

Posted by: ace at May 03, 2013 11:12 AM (LCRYB)

40 There's a longer version of the Reese video where she tells the cop she's pregnant and needs to pee.

Huh.  Drunk while pregnant? 

Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 03, 2013 11:12 AM (lVPtV)

41 Amongst the top five things you don't say to a cop is; "Do you know who I am?". It runs neck and neck with "I pay your salary!".


I always use, "What's you badge number????!!"

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at May 03, 2013 11:12 AM (8ZskC)

42

>I think she was reciting an outtake from Legally Blonde 3.<

More like Freeway 2

Posted by: Big Bad Wolf at May 03, 2013 11:12 AM (Opo0Q)

43 Oooooh Ill take the ginger stripper

Posted by: Navycopjoe in sunny Waikiki at May 03, 2013 11:12 AM (ZfBzk)

44
"DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM!!!!!???"

"Sounds to me like your name is 'Perp'"

*click-click*

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at May 03, 2013 11:13 AM (TIIx5)

45 Witherspoon is a fucking amateur. That broad who was arrested while driving drunk in a thong and high-heels? THAT'S a Moronette. Posted by: Empire of Jeff at May 03, 2013 03:09 PM (CJjw5) Now that's just insulting. No 'ette would ever be caught.

Posted by: alexthechick - Bring the SMOD at May 03, 2013 11:13 AM (VtjlW)

46 The best part of Cops is when some welfare case starts screaming at the cops about "I pay your salary!". Yeah, you ain't paid for jackshit in your whole damn life, son.

Posted by: Flatbush Joe at May 03, 2013 11:13 AM (ZPrif)

47 I wouldn't kick any of them out of bed for cutting off my penis and burying it in the garden where the racoons would get at it.
What else would they be doing in bed with you, Ace?

Posted by: carla tortelli-lebec at May 03, 2013 11:13 AM (mGBy8)

48 ....when all sense tells you to STFD and STFU is prerequisite here, and boy howdy!

Reminds me of the video of Steve McNair, just calmly getting out of the SUV his dunk'en girlfriend was driving, being pulled over for a DUI.  He just ask the cop if he could go, then went and got a cab.  Of course the same girlfriend did eventually put two rounds in his chest and one in the head, but he didn't mess with da man.

Posted by: Paladin at May 03, 2013 11:13 AM (y53d1)

49 I'm surprised Reese, being a Southern girl, didn't throw out a "bless your heart" to the cop. 

Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 03, 2013 11:13 AM (lVPtV)

50 OK, so I thought Scrunt Witherspoon is a blonde? 

Posted by: @JohnTant at May 03, 2013 11:14 AM (eytER)

51 Never really liked Reese. But she looks better as a brunette than a blonde.

Posted by: xbradtc at May 03, 2013 11:14 AM (+FFD7)

52 I don't know,  man.  Contestant #3 in the mugshots looks like she'd smell like cotton candy and Parmesan cheese.  Anyone else seeing that?

Posted by: Dang at May 03, 2013 11:14 AM (R18D0)

53 I must be doing something wrong.

I never heard of Reese Witherspoon.

Posted by: Slightly Demented at May 03, 2013 11:15 AM (yDWX4)

54 34 I think she was reciting an outtake from Legally Blonde 3. Posted by: @JohnTant at May 03, 2013 03:10 PM (eytER) *********** I'm thinking she thought it was-- Rendition.

Posted by: tasker at May 03, 2013 11:15 AM (r2PLg)

55 I am completely, 100% non-photogenic. Passable in everyday life, the camera hates me and turns every curve of my face into a puffy bloat.

Posted by: zsasz at May 03, 2013 11:15 AM (MMC8r)

56 the chick next to the mugshot that is in the main post is hotter

Posted by: The Dude at May 03, 2013 11:15 AM (vJdyz)

57

OK, so I thought Scrunt Witherspoon is a blonde?

 

That was last  week.

 

And for once, a FL gal is shown  with no facial tattoos.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit at May 03, 2013 11:16 AM (+z4pE)

58

For the hell of it I Wikipedia'ed her.  This quote of hers had me laughing after watching the arrest video:

-----

Witherspoon is proud of the "definitive Southern upbringing" she received, which, as she said, gave her "a sense of family and tradition" and taught her about "being conscientious about people's feelings, being polite, being responsible and never taking for granted what you have in your life."

 

-----

 

I'm still laughing.

Posted by: @JohnTant at May 03, 2013 11:16 AM (eytER)

59 Say what you will about Reese Witherspoon but I thought her apology at the very least sounded heartfelt and honest, which is more than you can say for the vast majority of the hollywood idiots who do these things. Not to excuse her but hey, who here hasn't fucked up in one way or another.

Posted by: BlearyTruth at May 03, 2013 11:17 AM (sYLzD)

60
Reese Witherspoon in...

LEGALLY BOMBED

Posted by: soothsayer at May 03, 2013 11:17 AM (KeJAW)

61 She sure as hell gets her South on--where were they, Georgia?

Posted by: tasker at May 03, 2013 11:17 AM (r2PLg)

62 sugar, spice, and Ice (meth)

Posted by: derit at May 03, 2013 11:17 AM (I88Jc)

63 If only I had my pink purse and Chihuahua to help me with my legal case in that video...

Posted by: Elle Woods at May 03, 2013 11:17 AM (JqnAE)

64

Haven't watched the Witherspoon video but I support her based on my declaration a couple of weeks ago that I've I abandoned my 'cops are the good guys'  default position. 

 

Unfortunately this means I'll be lumping in the good cops ( none of which I've encountered thus far but I know they are out there)   with the bad attitude cops. 

 

 

Posted by: polynikes at May 03, 2013 11:18 AM (m2CN7)

65 Now that's just insulting. No 'ette would ever be caught.

Posted by: alexthechick - Bring the SMOD at May 03, 2013 03:13 PM (VtjlW)

Not while there is gas in the tank...


Posted by: Sherry McEvil, Stiletto Corsettes C'est Magnifique at May 03, 2013 11:18 AM (kXoT0)

66 Tell you what, that Jenn Jenson hottie has an Elle MacPherson vibe about her, if MacPherson went full on 'ette.

Posted by: @JohnTant at May 03, 2013 11:18 AM (eytER)

67 why does America Have A Need to Know Reese Witherspoon's minor arrest video, but not the welfare or school records of confirmed terrorists. I'm confused. Feature. Not a bug.

Posted by: rickb223 at May 03, 2013 11:18 AM (pHivF)

68 15 And btw,Witherspoon didn't seem very bad in that video, not raving, not stumbling drunk. Just a little pissed at being pulled over and told to stay in the car. She even sir'd the cop, repeatedly.

I was expecting much worse.

Posted by: toby928 at May 03, 2013 03:07 PM (evdj2)


Check her mug shot.  That was the best one they could get because she was so drunk she couldn't hold her head up straight.

Posted by: Tami[/i][/b][/u][/s] at May 03, 2013 11:18 AM (X6akg)

69 Witherspoon is proud of the "definitive Southern upbringing" she received, which, as she said, gave her "a sense of family and tradition" and taught her about "being conscientious about people's feelings, being polite, being responsible and never taking for granted what you have in your life." I think she probably is like that but...you know....alcohol...

Posted by: eleven at May 03, 2013 11:18 AM (fsLdt)

70 Is your gun loaded or do they make you keep your bullet in your pocket?

Posted by: Stuff Not To Say to A Cop, Chap. 4 at May 03, 2013 11:18 AM (8ZskC)

71 Posted by: carla tortelli-lebec

Nice nick.

Posted by: HeatherRadish™ needs a beer at May 03, 2013 11:19 AM (/kI1Q)

72

Not to excuse her but hey, who here hasn't fucked up in one way or another.

 

Who among us has not sped? Let them be the  first to secure the   handcuffs upon thine neighbor.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit at May 03, 2013 11:19 AM (+z4pE)

73 *slurring and staggering*

"Do you know who I am?  No?  Can you give me a hint?"

Posted by: Dang at May 03, 2013 11:19 AM (R18D0)

74
OK, so I thought Scrunt Witherspoon is a blonde?







I think she owes it to her adoring fanbase to reveal whether the carpet matches the drapes. In 1080p widescreen.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at May 03, 2013 11:19 AM (TIIx5)

75 How does it feel to finally be doing this on the street instead of in a mall?

Posted by: Stuff Not To Say to A Cop, Chap. 4 at May 03, 2013 11:19 AM (8ZskC)

76

Amongst the top five things you don't say to a cop is; "Do you know who I am?". It runs neck and neck with "I pay your salary!".

 

Suggesting that there was excessive affection between the cop and his mother, after he's put the cuffs on you, is also a mistake.

Posted by: toby928 speaks from personal experience at May 03, 2013 11:20 AM (evdj2)

77 Barack Obama is a stuttering clusterf*ck of a malignant traitor.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at May 03, 2013 11:20 AM (/PCJa)

78

>>>who here hasn't fucked up in one way or another.

 

I sure haven't

Posted by: Bigby's Red Hands at May 03, 2013 11:20 AM (3ZtZW)

79 At my drunkest, I have never mouthed off to a cop.  Of course, this was the days before dashboard  cams, when they would just pound you into  the neurosurgery  unit and claim  you died  of injuries  sustained while resisting  arrest.

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at May 03, 2013 11:20 AM (CJjw5)

80

I think she probably is like that but...you know....alcohol...

Posted by: eleven at May 03, 2013 03:18 PM

 

 

Actually, I'm a believer that alcohol tends to amplify what's already in one's personality, not create a new one.  I really don't have any trouble believing Witherspoon is an irritating entitled scrunt.

Posted by: @JohnTant at May 03, 2013 11:20 AM (eytER)

81

Like a 16lb. sledge hammer taking out a kitchen counter.

I'd hit it.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at May 03, 2013 11:20 AM (/PCJa)

82 I was browsing the list of Hoosegow Hunnies and I said to myself, "this one looks kinda like Lindsay Lohan", and it was her!!!

Posted by: EC at May 03, 2013 11:20 AM (GQ8sn)

83

Posted by: Mallamutt, RINO President for Life at May 03, 2013 03:19 PM

 

 

"Dear Penthouse:  I never believed this would happen to me......"

Posted by: @JohnTant at May 03, 2013 11:21 AM (eytER)

84
She stole -- my heart.

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at May 03, 2013 11:21 AM (kdS6q)

85 I actually have dealt with some decent cops. One dude tried to talk me into being a cop while he was taking me to jail.

Posted by: eleven at May 03, 2013 11:21 AM (fsLdt)

86 Now THIS is a palate cleanser of legendary proportions. Thank you, Ace.

Posted by: jakeman at May 03, 2013 11:21 AM (96M6e)

87 Amongst the top five things you don't say to a cop is; "Do you know who I am?". It runs neck and neck with "I pay your salary!".

I always use, "What's you badge number????!!"

I've always gone with Foster Brooks Line "I have a perfectly good explaanaationn for my connndittion....Ive been drinking all day!"

Posted by: Paladin at May 03, 2013 11:21 AM (y53d1)

88 This is a good palate cleanser. I've had the self "hate fuck" hoax Lanker-Simons... woman clouding my fap bank. Just barging in. Demanding that she interrupt my patriarchal, heteronormative hegemony of fappage.

Posted by: wooga at May 03, 2013 11:22 AM (CbCus)

89 Lindsay Lohan has checked in to the Betty Ford Center for her mandatory three-month rehab stint, ABC News has confirmed. She's been in this one before. I think she slugged someone who worked there. I bet she has been in all the high end rehab centers. What a pain in the ass!

Posted by: Waldo at May 03, 2013 11:22 AM (sXWmd)

90 I didn't detect that as a Sincere Sir.

Because there's no such thing, from adults. I've never heard a non-kid "Sir" that wasn't really "I deserve to be punched in the neck until it's all squishy inside, but I don't think you'll do it."

Also, mugshot cameras are pretty reliable oral herpes diagnosis machines. Lotta + on that page. Not that I'd be dissuaded. "Yeah I banged that Miss Teen [whatever] who

    and she gave me [disease so bad its name is African]" is a good drinkin' story.

Posted by: oblig. at May 03, 2013 11:22 AM (cePv8)

91 I'm actually with George Carlin:  When the cop hands you a ticket, snatch it out of his hands and say you're going to check it for mistakes.

Posted by: @JohnTant at May 03, 2013 11:22 AM (eytER)

92 I'm not as dick as you fucked I am, arcifer.

Posted by: drunken hottie being arrested at May 03, 2013 11:22 AM (mGBy8)

93 Was arrested for that exact same thing once (what the husband did). It helps to run the scenario of being arrested in your mind beforehand so you know how to act. You STFU, act polite as you can be because you are on film. My shutting up and politely refusing to take the tests ended up getting me off for lack of evidence. As me and the lawyer were checking the tape of the arrest, I looked like a sober catholic schoolboy.

Posted by: Up With People! at May 03, 2013 11:23 AM (FmFB3)

94 Posted by: wooga at May 03, 2013 03:22 PM (CbCus) Why. Why are you bringing this up? I'd already repressed those images!!! ARGGHHHHHH

Posted by: HoboJerky, now with 45% more DOOM! at May 03, 2013 11:23 AM (xAtAj)

95 Is your gun loaded or do they make you keep your bullet in your pocket? Posted by: Stuff Not To Say to A Cop, Bad cop! No doughnut!

Posted by: rickb223 at May 03, 2013 11:23 AM (pHivF)

96 63 She sure as hell gets her South on--where were they, Georgia?



Atlanta.  Looks like Atlantic Station in the video.  The Real Housewives of Atlanta had a big cussin' and wig pullin' scene there.  And believe it or not, Lindsay Lohan's dad was involved.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 03, 2013 11:23 AM (lVPtV)

97 Strike Rocketeer Witch - http://tinyurl.com/cvwohrg

As Black Cat - http://tinyurl.com/d4n9pun

And Semper Fi!!!!!!  - http://tinyurl.com/d6yje64

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at May 03, 2013 11:23 AM (tsPRH)

98

Damn.  Look at Ms. El Paso, busted for shoplifting.

 

I'd get her in the interrogation room and ask if she knew why we brought her in.

 

"Because somebody stole  my  heart, girl.  And DAMN, you are fittin' the DESCRIPTION."

 

Then maybe some suggestive lip-licking and eyebrow-waggling.  You know, just kind of freestyle  it.

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at May 03, 2013 11:24 AM (CJjw5)

99 Alcohol takes away your ability to self edit. I've said shit drunk that wasn't me at all.

Posted by: eleven at May 03, 2013 11:24 AM (fsLdt)

100 That's the sense of entitlement that 95% of Hollywood has.

Reece is a victim of her own success........but not so much.  She's just an uppity bitch like the rest of them who thinks they're above the law and don't have to obey the orders of superiors in those situations.

Posted by: © Sponge at May 03, 2013 11:24 AM (xmcEQ)

101 The phrase cops enjoy more than "do  you know who I am" is "who do you think you  are...."

Posted by: Soona at May 03, 2013 11:24 AM (ymDPi)

102

Because there's no such thing, from adults. I've never heard a non-kid "Sir" that wasn't really "I deserve to be punched in the neck until it's all squishy inside, but I don't think you'll do it."

 

I refer to almost all of my male associates as "Sir."  "Yes, sir," "No, sir," and "Thank you, sir" are probably the most common phrases I use when speaking to another adult male.

 

Some people still know how to be polite.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at May 03, 2013 11:24 AM (/PCJa)

103 >>Posted by: wooga at May 03, 2013 03:22 PM (CbCus)<<


Is it the FUPA or her face that throws off your fappage the most?

Posted by: Muad'dib at May 03, 2013 11:24 AM (KjlbF)

104 Actually, I'm a believer that alcohol tends to amplify what's already in one's personality, not create a new one. I really don't have any trouble believing Witherspoon is an irritating entitled scrunt. --------------------- My sense of things is that there are a lot of people in Hollywood who are basically decent people, but the nature of the entertainment business, and of fame forces them to become assholes.

Posted by: Farmer Joe at May 03, 2013 11:25 AM (HJsDx)

105
I was wondering if the outcome would've been different if Al Michaels was pulled over in Atlanta and Witherspoon was pulled over in Santa Barbara, instead of the other way around.




Posted by: soothsayer at May 03, 2013 11:25 AM (LVtr+)

106 "You have a baby. In a bar."

For that, and forever, Reesey-poo is forgiven.

Posted by: occam's brassiere at May 03, 2013 11:25 AM (65Fed)

107 I want to be in her pokey.

Posted by: irright at May 03, 2013 11:26 AM (8GKDa)

108 100 63 She sure as hell gets her South on--where were they, Georgia? Atlanta. Looks like Atlantic Station in the video. The Real Housewives of Atlanta had a big cussin' and wig pullin' scene there. And believe it or not, Lindsay Lohan's dad was involved. Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 03, 2013 03:23 PM (lVPtV) ************* Thanks, I was wondering. What the hell --Lindsey Lohan's dad? I can tell that guy is a douche--just by the people six degrees away from him.

Posted by: tasker at May 03, 2013 11:26 AM (r2PLg)

109 Give Reese a break. She was drunk and not driving. She also immediately apologized when she sobered up and pled guilty.

Posted by: Waldo at May 03, 2013 11:26 AM (sXWmd)

110 Not to excuse her but hey, who here hasn't fucked up in one way or another.

defiantly asking the wrong horde here.

Posted by: Paladin at May 03, 2013 11:26 AM (y53d1)

111 61 --- I agree. I thought the apology was sincere. I detected a genuine sense of remorse, not just regret for hurting her nice-girl public image. She may have parents/family that wouldn't like this kind of thing. IOW, her mamma probably didn't raise her to act like that.

Posted by: Margarita DeVille at May 03, 2013 11:26 AM (C8mVl)

112 in court and adult film star Tori Black (right) aka Michelle Chapman was arrested for domestic battery after punching her fiancee in the head One question, which head?

Posted by: Misanthropic humanitarian at May 03, 2013 11:27 AM (HVff2)

113 There is a long running Aussie show called Cell Block H about a woman's prison where all the guards are big old scary bull dykes.

Posted by: Waldo at May 03, 2013 11:27 AM (sXWmd)

114 Another  splendid   Friday afternoon at the HQ.

Posted by: Roy at May 03, 2013 11:27 AM (VndSC)

115 111 "You have a baby. In a bar."

For that, and forever, Reesey-poo is forgiven.



In a longer video, she claims she's pregnant.

"You're pregnant.  In the back of a police car.  Drunk."

Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 03, 2013 11:27 AM (lVPtV)

116

A friend of mine was a public defender back in the day. One of the funniest police reports she provided me detailed how the arrested suspect "threw himself down a flight of stairs on three seperate occassions" during the arrest process. And yes, the building in question only had 2 flights of stairs.

 

---------------------

 

"Yeah - he  was totally out of control, tossing himself down the stairs.  I think he said he  was doing 'parkour' or  something like that.  Weirdest thing I ever saw.  Just like that guy last night."

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at May 03, 2013 11:28 AM (CJjw5)

117 We all hope that nobody ever cuts off your penis or any other part of you, Ace because that's the way we roll. ;^) Or maybe I shouldn't speak for everyone. Some odd folks on this site. ;^)

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at May 03, 2013 11:29 AM (INYkK)

118 Where  are   the photos of the ones caught for public nudity?

Posted by: Roy at May 03, 2013 11:29 AM (VndSC)

119 @120

Reesey's a good ol' gal...we all know it.

Posted by: occam's brassiere at May 03, 2013 11:29 AM (65Fed)

120

Here's her "sincere" apology, at least as quoted by the Mail:

 

"'We are just so sorry this happened. We know better than that. It's something that will absolutely never happen again.'"

 

Passive voice.  Gee, sorry that this happened!  It just kind of happened on its own, you know? 

 

Still 8.2 on the Scrunt-O-Meter.

Posted by: @JohnTant at May 03, 2013 11:29 AM (eytER)

121 My wife is every bit as dumb with cops as was Reese. We were coming through customs last month, long line, lots of pissed off people. She decides to jump ugly with the customs dude. I literally had to put my hand over her mouth. And, I might add, my wife is not a dumb teenager, she is in her sixties. She practically bit my finger off. WTF? Honey, see the guys with the badges and guns? They have badges and guns. What have you got? A big mouth and shit for brains and maybe a federal rap sheet if you don't shut up.

Sheesh....

Posted by: navybrat at May 03, 2013 11:29 AM (2ZO++)

122 43Oooooh
Ill take the ginger stripper

Posted by: Navycopjoe in sunny Waikiki

 

 

Oh HELL yes.

Posted by: CrotchetyOldJarhead at May 03, 2013 11:29 AM (U7Ivf)

123 "5. Her husband completely sells her down the river at the end and tells the cop "I tried [to stop that], that was completely one-hundred percent not my fault." I think this part is going to be An Issue at home."

All the husband has to do is tell her he was this close to finishing the field sobriety test and possibly getting out of the DUI, and she fucked it up. Don't know how true it is but he didn't look all that wasted on the video.

Posted by: lowandslow at May 03, 2013 11:29 AM (Fz2C7)

124 "May arrived and most of Alaska's rivers are still locked in ice," the dastardly federal agency reported on its Facebook page. "NWS staff and river observers collect ice thickness data around the first day of each month during the winter. However, except on the North Slope and northwest Alaska, ice is typically gone or unsafe for measurements by the start of May.

"Not so this remarkably backwards spring. Ice thickness and snow on the ice at nearly all measured locations in the central Interior was THICKER than at the start of April. "

Yes, that's right. At a time when Alaska should be starting into breakup there isn't even a sign of it.

Posted by: Lassie at May 03, 2013 11:29 AM (e8kgV)

125

Another splendid Friday afternoon at the HQ.

 

Wouldst that I could pause this thread right here. I have to go to the grocery  store, where I will also get some Guinness.

 

Y'all stay right there and don't move. I'll be back in a bit.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit at May 03, 2013 11:29 AM (+z4pE)

126 How about saying this; I am a stupid, self-absorbed, dangerous, foolish and inconsiderate idiot for driving drunk and putting peoples lives in danger.

Even though I knew I was drunk and can afford a cab, maybe even a limo, I still was a complete asshole and drove drunk or allowed a person I knew was drunk to drive.

I sincerely apologize because even by you standing on this road officer, I've put your life in danger also.

Please cuff me and take me to booking. Thank you, I'll wait here while you call it in.


Posted by: Marcus at May 03, 2013 11:30 AM (GGCsk)

127 I refer to almost all of my male associates as "Sir." "Yes, sir," "No, sir," and "Thank you, sir" are probably the most common phrases I use when speaking to another adult male. When it comes to the cops, it's always "Sir." "Yes, sir," "No, sir," and "Thank you, sir". The good ones appreciate it, & there is no point in antagonizing a bad one for no reason.

Posted by: rickb223 at May 03, 2013 11:31 AM (pHivF)

128 I refer to almost all of my male associates as "Sir." "Yes, sir," "No, sir," and "Thank you, sir" are probably the most common phrases I use when speaking to another adult male.

Some people still know how to be polite.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at May 03, 2013 03:24 PM (/PCJa)

 

 

-------------------------------------------------

 

 

You may, from now on, address me thusly.

Posted by: Soona at May 03, 2013 11:31 AM (ymDPi)

129 Don't you know who I am?

"Ma'am I can't watch all the porn under the sun who are you?"

Posted by: sven10077@sven10077 at May 03, 2013 11:31 AM (LRFds)

130 Give Reese a break. She was drunk and not driving. She also immediately apologized when she sobered up and pled guilty.

Posted by: Waldo at May 03, 2013 03:26 PM (sXWmd)



She acted the ass and got what she deserved.

You go try the "do you know who I am" thing and tell me how it works out for you.

She was told by her publicist to do some MAJOR damage control to keep her squeaky clean image in tact.

She flat out tried to big league a cop.  Period.

Posted by: © Sponge at May 03, 2013 11:32 AM (xmcEQ)

131 So, should they allow the Boston bomber to be buried in Boston? It's not like he has any fucking ties to the city. It is such an affront and his dumb ass family apparently doesn't give a shit who they offend.

Posted by: Waldo at May 03, 2013 11:32 AM (sXWmd)

132 Nobody told Reese those Georgia State Troopers don't mess around. Everbody in Georgia knows that.

Posted by: small town girl at May 03, 2013 11:32 AM (mlEid)

133 130 Lassie,

oddly enough this is proof we should do away with "fossil fuels" and you know do what we were gonna do when we thought AK was gonna be tropical in a few years...

//EPA

Posted by: sven10077@sven10077 at May 03, 2013 11:32 AM (LRFds)

134 You know, whenever I heard the phrase "do you know who" it always gave me a boner I knew I was going to write a ticket or use the cuffs

Posted by: Navycopjoe in sunny Waikiki at May 03, 2013 11:33 AM (frroL)

135 109 ---"My sense of things is that there are a lot of people in Hollywood who are basically decent people, but the nature of the entertainment business, and of fame forces them to become assholes." Posted by: Farmer Joe at May 03, 2013 03:25 PM (HJsDx) -------------------- Yeah, although I'd use the word "inclines" rather than "forces."

Posted by: Margarita DeVille at May 03, 2013 11:33 AM (C8mVl)

136 So, should they allow the Boston bomber to be buried in Boston?

Yes, in Boston harbor.

Posted by: dogfish at May 03, 2013 11:33 AM (nsOJa)

137 Where are the photos of the ones caught for public nudity?

Posted by: Roy at May 03, 2013 03:29 PM (VndSC)

 

 

-----------------------------------------------

 

 

I do NOT want to see  a dashcam of Helen Thomas being pulled over.

Posted by: Soona at May 03, 2013 11:33 AM (ymDPi)

138 "Ma'am I can't watch all the porn under the sun who are you?"

Posted by: sven10077@sven10077 at May 03, 2013 03:31 PM (LRFds)


HAH!

Posted by: irright at May 03, 2013 11:33 AM (8GKDa)

139 Lindsay Lohan-I hope that she gets her act together and gets some healing. Otherwise she'll be dead by the time she's thirty.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at May 03, 2013 11:33 AM (INYkK)

140 And you've forgot the number one guy rule; never have sex with crazy or felons.

There are plenty of nice girls out there who won't crash your car drunk-driving, burn down your house with their crack pipe, get you busted because they possesses heroin or give you an STD.

Posted by: Marcus at May 03, 2013 11:34 AM (GGCsk)

141 How funny would that have been.

Reece:  Do you know my name!?!?

Cop:  No........wait......You were in Anal Cave-in 4!!!!  I remember YOU!!!!  Wait till the guys at central get a load of THIS!!!!



I would still be laughing at the dash cam.......

Posted by: © Sponge at May 03, 2013 11:34 AM (xmcEQ)

142

Posted by: Marcus at May 03, 2013 03:30 PM (GGCsk)

 

She wasn't driving.

Posted by: eleven at May 03, 2013 11:34 AM (fsLdt)

143 The girls in the mugshots are stunning. Even I, a mere chick, can see that. Way hotter than LiLo and Reese. Although Reese did offer a humble apology, didn't she? Those are mugshots. I wish my driver's licence picture, which was taken after some preparation on my part, looked like that.

Posted by: chique d'afrique (the artist formerly known as african chick) at May 03, 2013 11:34 AM (6zgse)

144 Leave Reesey alone.

Posted by: occam's brassiere at May 03, 2013 11:35 AM (65Fed)

145 >So, should they allow the Boston bomber to be buried in Boston?<

Are there any pig farms in Boston?

Posted by: Marcus at May 03, 2013 11:35 AM (GGCsk)

146 I'm pretty sure that I've met Miss El Paso at least once.

Posted by: Colorado Alex at May 03, 2013 11:35 AM (lr3d7)

147 She acted the ass and got what she deserved. You go try the "do you know who I am" thing and tell me how it works out for you. She was told by her publicist to do some MAJOR damage control to keep her squeaky clean image in tact. She flat out tried to big league a cop. Period. Posted by: © Sponge at May 03, 2013 03:32 PM (xmcEQ) Very few people don't act the ass when they are drunk. She apologized and pled guilty. You want her to receive more punishment than other defendants. Not going to happen. Even the rich and the beautiful deserve to be treated fairly.

Posted by: Waldo at May 03, 2013 11:35 AM (sXWmd)

148

Posted by: Soona at May 03, 2013 03:31 PM (ymDPi)

 

Ah, but a) you don't exist outside my computer and b) you're an Okie.

You don't count.  (Kidding, kidding).

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at May 03, 2013 11:35 AM (/PCJa)

149 Ahem...I'll be in my cell.



Posted by: dananjcon at May 03, 2013 11:35 AM (jvd3N)

150 140 NCJ,

that's your asp bud....(I hope) heh

I know I always appreciated it when I was doing plain clothes perosnal protection work...

"Nope no idea, you're not my client"

Posted by: sven10077@sven10077 at May 03, 2013 11:36 AM (LRFds)

151

"Don't you know who I am?"

 

No ma'am, and I really couldn't give two shits either.

Posted by: CrotchetyOldJarhead at May 03, 2013 11:36 AM (U7Ivf)

152 51 OK, so I thought Scrunt Witherspoon is a blonde? 

Posted by: @JohnTant at May 03, 2013 03:14 PM (eytER)

She is, legally.   

Posted by: ConservativeMonster at May 03, 2013 11:36 AM (rm+Am)

153 Lot's of jokes about the guy being buried in Boston but they are planning on burying him in a cemetary. Again, it is a fucking affront to the people who live there.

Posted by: Waldo at May 03, 2013 11:36 AM (sXWmd)

154 Very few people don't act the ass when they are drunk. She apologized and pled guilty. You want her to receive more punishment than other defendants. Not going to happen. Even the rich and the beautiful deserve to be treated fairly.

Posted by: Waldo at May 03, 2013 03:35 PM (sXWmd)



I said she got what she deserved.  Who here is pleading for MORE punishment? 

You reading the same blog?

Posted by: © Sponge at May 03, 2013 11:37 AM (xmcEQ)

155 God bless Reesey.  Keepin' it real in Dixie.  She's the best.

Posted by: occam's brassiere at May 03, 2013 11:37 AM (65Fed)

156 159 Waldo,

I say let them bury him there and then make a weekly ritual of pouring bacon grease on it.

Posted by: sven10077@sven10077 at May 03, 2013 11:37 AM (LRFds)

157 There was an article about a study a few years ago showing that for some reason good looking people get acquitted more often by juries. Humans are funny.

Posted by: Up With People! at May 03, 2013 11:37 AM (FmFB3)

158

From the National Enquirer

 

Auto mechanic Gilberto Junior, owner of Junior Auto Body, Inc., in Somer­ville, Mass., came face to face with Jahar less than 24 hours after the bombings and says he was certain “(Jahar) was on drugs” when he showed up at his shop.

Jahar seemed desperate to pick up a white Mercedes station wagon heÂ’d dropped off a few weeks be­fore with a damaged rear bumper. HeÂ’d said the car belonged to a girlfriend.

 Junior said Tsarnaev often brought in cars for wealthy friends from Bos­ton University and MIT, and always paid in cash. What was strange was that Jahar showed up the day after the bombings wanting the car back early, clearly on edge.

“He was very nervous, biting his nails, agitated,” Junior said. “I thought he was on drugs, medica­tion.” Junior didnÂ’t report it to police. Tsarnaev took the Mercedes without having it fixed.

The Mercedes was not the car that the Tsarnaev brothers were in when cops cor­nered them in Watertown, killing JaharÂ’s brother Tamerlan, while Jahar sped off, running over his brother. He later ditched the vehicle and escaped on foot.

 

who's car was the white Mercedes?

Posted by: Thunderb at May 03, 2013 11:37 AM (nH8jP)

159 I can't stand Reese Witherspoon. Never have. Don't see the attraction.

Posted by: Damn Sockpuppet at May 03, 2013 11:37 AM (YmPwQ)

160 >> Of course, this was the days before dashboard cams, when they would just pound you into the neurosurgery unit and claim you died of injuries sustained while resisting arrest.
 
Those units have a curious way of failing at the most inopportune times.
 
For you.
 
PS I'm loving the Things Not To Say To The Cops; keep em coming.
 
Oh, and raccoons are a member of the weasel family.

Posted by: GnuBreed at May 03, 2013 11:37 AM (ccXZP)

161 Geez, guess wrong thread for cosplay pictures.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at May 03, 2013 11:38 AM (tsPRH)

162 160 Sponge,

Yup no more "punishment" and the mockery is free

Posted by: sven10077@sven10077 at May 03, 2013 11:38 AM (LRFds)

163 We all hope that nobody ever cuts off your penis or any other part of you, Ace because that's the way we roll. ;^)

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at May 03, 2013 03:29 PM (INYkK)


Oh, crap.  Now Ace's going to be on a rampage about how we "all" are disrespecting post-op transsexuals or something....

Posted by: Run for the hills! at May 03, 2013 11:38 AM (ggRof)

164 It's interesting how some people photograph well no matter what and other people don't. One of the prettiest women I've even known looked like hell in every picture ever taken of her. It was freaky.

Posted by: alexthechick - Bring the SMOD at May 03, 2013 11:38 AM (VtjlW)

165 I actually have dealt with some decent cops.


One dude tried to talk me into being a cop while he was taking me to jail.

Posted by: eleven at May 03, 2013 03:21 PM (fsLdt)

 

My last encounter pushed me over the edge.  Sunday morning drive back from Lowe's.  Two lanes both directions.  Going the speed limit when car in front of me was signaling to make right turn so I moved to the left lane.  Siren and lights 30 seconds later.

 

Pull over wonder why I was being stopped.  Cop came to my window and first thing I told him was that I was a CHL holder and had my gun on me. 

 

He looked at me and said in a sarcastic manner   'yeah, so what?  It doesn't effect this'  , meaning I guess his intent to ticket me.   I said, 'no officer, I'm required to let you know that I have a weapon on me' .

 

He ignored that and proceeded to tell me that I had changed lanes without signaling.  He also said he was giving me a ticket for no license plate in front.  At which time I showed him the plate which was in my back seat which I had not put on yet on this car which I just got a week ago.  He then looked at my license and asked where my corrective lenses were as I had that restriction.  I told him that I had lasik surgery and intended to have restriction taken off when I renewed my license.  I even showed him the doctors script showing the lasik surgery that was completed.  He asked for my insurance card and went back to the patrol car and returned with four tickets.  

 

I said 'four? you just indicated three violations.'  He said ' your insurance is expired '  at which time I realized I had given him my old card which expired 4 days previously and still had in the glove compartment.  I asked him why he didn't just tell me and I would have simply grabbed the correct one.

 

It took everything  I had not to go Mel Gibson on his ass  and instead made him give me his Supervisors name and explained exactly what I was going to report.  He hesitated at first to give me the name but knew he had fucked up.

 

On Monday I went to report it and lo and behold,  Houston has a five page prelimiary report you have to fill out before your complaint is even submitted. 

 

Straw.  Camel.   Back.   Broke.     

Posted by: polynikes at May 03, 2013 11:38 AM (m2CN7)

166 So, should they allow the Boston bomber to be buried in Boston? Which brings up a question: How many tax dollars are going to be spent on security for this guy's grave? Because I'm confident my gang and I from Boston would be waiting in line to piss on it.

Posted by: jakeman at May 03, 2013 11:38 AM (96M6e)

167

Lot's of jokes about the guy being buried in Boston but they are planning on burying him in a cemetary

 

Well, if you just let him rot in the sun the place gets so stinky.

 

I'm sorry, how is it "an affront" for him to be burried?  Would you rather he be burried in, say, Green Bay?  Phoenix?  Or are you specifically looking for some way to disgrace/desecrate the body?

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at May 03, 2013 11:38 AM (/PCJa)

168 We had a big doins at the daughters school today, international festival. All the MexiMilfs were throwing down their finest chow in a big fiesta. Anyway, a Sherriffs Deputy was accross the street handling traffic and security, He had been there all day. I made him a big plate of chow and took it to him, he was shocked and appreciative. Never miss an opportunity to show goodness to our boys in uniform, you just never know.

Posted by: Oldsailors Poet Palin/West 2016 at May 03, 2013 11:38 AM (XIxXP)

169 "126 Here's her "sincere" apology, at least as quoted by the Mail: "'We are just so sorry this happened. We know better than that. It's something that will absolutely never happen again.'" Passive voice. Gee, sorry that this happened! It just kind of happened on its own, you know? Still 8.2 on the Scrunt-O-Meter. Posted by: @JohnTant at May 03, 2013 03:29 PM (eytER) " Well, there is also this in latimes. "I do want to say I clearly had one drink too many and I am deeply embarrassed about the things I said," she said in a statement. "It was definitely a scary situation and I was frightened for my husband, but that was no excuse. I was disrespectful to the officer who was just doing his job. The words I used that night definitely do not reflect who I am. I have nothing but respect for the police and I am very sorry for my behavior." I do respect someone who is able to admit to failures and I think this is worth recognizing. Again, this doesn't erase wrongdoing, but if we expect everyone to be perfect and never screw up and learn from it we will probably not get very far with that policy. Just my opinion, worth whatever you paid for it. Flame away.

Posted by: BlearyTruth at May 03, 2013 11:38 AM (sYLzD)

170 166 GnuBreed,

In my defense I am a very personable weasel

Posted by: sven10077@sven10077 at May 03, 2013 11:38 AM (LRFds)

171 Oh...and the last time I was drunk and approached by a cop, I was scared and VERY polite to the man.  Ended up NOT going to jail, most likely because I DIDN'T ask him if he knew me.

Posted by: © Sponge at May 03, 2013 11:39 AM (xmcEQ)

172

Lot's of jokes about the guy being buried in Boston but they are planning on burying him in a cemetary. Again, it is a fucking affront to the people who live there.

 

-----------------------------

 

I dunno.  Pretty sure I can get down to Boston, piss on his grave and make it back by  lunch on Sunday, but I don't know when I'd ever get to Dagestan.

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at May 03, 2013 11:39 AM (CJjw5)

173 Reese has already apologized for her behavior including the way she spoke to the cops.  She is apparently mortified that she behaved that way.  She also said that she has a lot of respect for LEO's and has some in her family.

Posted by: Penfold at May 03, 2013 11:39 AM (Fbt5B)

174 Ah, but a) you don't exist outside my computer and b) you're an Okie.
You don't count. (Kidding, kidding).

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at May 03, 2013 03:35 PM (/PCJa)

 

 

--------------------------------------------

 

 

I'm an Oklahoman, not an Okie.  Okies  are from CA. 

Posted by: Soona at May 03, 2013 11:39 AM (ymDPi)

175 Execution by "green shoots"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m71C4G1fU3Y#!

Posted by: James Hansen at May 03, 2013 11:39 AM (e8kgV)

176

@167 Geez, guess wrong thread for cosplay pictures.
---------------------------------

I saw 'em.  Spent several minutes flipping through the gallery before coming back.  Looked quite good.

 

Posted by: junior at May 03, 2013 11:39 AM (UWFpX)

177 Arresting Reese was a joke.

Posted by: Dr Spank at May 03, 2013 11:40 AM (4cRnj)

178 Mr. Witherspoon's tone of voice is my favorite thing about that video.

Posted by: Mob at May 03, 2013 11:40 AM (0zArV)

179 Lot's of jokes about the guy being buried in Boston but they are planning on burying him in a cemetary. Again, it is a fucking affront to the people who live there. ----------------- I could give two shits where they bury him. I'm just glad he's dead.

Posted by: Farmer Joe at May 03, 2013 11:41 AM (GLCZn)

180 I wouldn't kick them out of my steel cot.

Posted by: wth at May 03, 2013 11:41 AM (wAQA5)

181 #124

The ones who get arrested for public nudity are usually the ones you'd least want to see naked. Therefore the reason for the law and the reason for letting some off with a warning. And maybe a summary spanking.

Posted by: epobirs at May 03, 2013 11:41 AM (kcfmt)

182 Cops like quiet suspects. Drunk suspects never, ever, get that. Andy Levy is now America's Sweetheart. The committee had to strip Reese after this.

Posted by: Beagle at May 03, 2013 11:41 AM (sOtz/)

183 If Ms. El Paso needed practice smuggling jewels I'd be happy to oblige her.

Posted by: Fritz at May 03, 2013 11:41 AM (UzPAd)

184 Caged Heat "White hot desires melting cold prison steel"

Posted by: derit at May 03, 2013 11:42 AM (I88Jc)

185

@188 The committee had to strip Reese after this.

-----------------------------------

Any pics?

 

/duck

 

Posted by: junior at May 03, 2013 11:42 AM (UWFpX)

186 Very few people don't act the ass when they are drunk. I never did. I was always a happy drunk. Haven't been drunk since I got my CHL over 12 years ago.

Posted by: rickb223 at May 03, 2013 11:43 AM (pHivF)

187 Mr. Witherspoon's tone of voice is my favorite thing about that video. Posted by: Mob at May 03, 2013 03:40 PM (0zArV) Yep, P-Whipped Metro-sexual shit bag.

Posted by: Oldsailors Poet Palin/West 2016 at May 03, 2013 11:43 AM (XIxXP)

188 "White hot desires melting cold prison steel" Not scientifically possible! Google it!

Posted by: InfoWarsTard at May 03, 2013 11:43 AM (96M6e)

189 I'm sorry, how is it "an affront" for him to be burried? Would you rather he be burried in, say, Green Bay? Phoenix? Or are you specifically looking for some way to disgrace/desecrate the body?

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at May 03, 2013 03:38 PM (/PCJa)

 

 

-------------------------------------------------

 

 

Don't  think  desecration would work here.  I  mean, he was used as a speed  bump.  Perhaps  we should bury  him in the region of the world that he so loved.

Posted by: Soona at May 03, 2013 11:43 AM (ymDPi)

190

"It was definitely a scary situation and I was frightened for my husband, but that was no excuse."

 

Yep, when I'm in a scary situation the first thing I do is claim pregnancy and demand to go pee.  Then I invoke the Constitution abd try to bully an officer who is giving my beta male hubby a field sobriety test.

 

 

 

 

 

Posted by: @JohnTant at May 03, 2013 11:44 AM (eytER)

191 I got thru dental school by flying under the radar. The less people who knew me the better. If a cop knows who you are that is usually a bad sign.

Posted by: Nevergiveup at May 03, 2013 11:44 AM (jE38p)

192 Mr. Spoon going to jail for DUI is a given.

Mrs. Spoon not going to be left standing on the street if the occifer believes she's unable to do so safely. If she shows signs of intox, she darn sure ain't be allowed to drive home.

Far as I'm concerned, the occifer is doing the lass a favor.


Posted by: Stick in he Mud at May 03, 2013 11:44 AM (yDWX4)

193 O/T Looks like the FBI has released a video of the Benghazi attack. Link at Drudge.

Posted by: tasker at May 03, 2013 11:45 AM (r2PLg)

194 I'm an Oklahoman, not an Okie. aka, Hey fucker. (Coworker from Ok says that)

Posted by: rickb223 at May 03, 2013 11:45 AM (pHivF)

195 Got pulled over for passing someone to the right who was stopped on a 55mph highway with semis barreling towards me from behind. I figured it was the safe move for myself to not be stopped in the middle of the highway. I found out I was wrong. But as I'm watching the cop approach my car I thought it was a black lady, so rolled the window down and said "yes maam". To which he replied MAAM!!! I didn't get tazed, but did get a ticket.

Posted by: Up With People! at May 03, 2013 11:45 AM (FmFB3)

196
When it comes to the cops, it's always "Sir." "Yes, sir," "No, sir," and "Thank you, sir".
The good ones appreciate it, & there is no point in antagonizing a bad one for no reason.

Posted by: rickb223 at May 03, 2013 03:31 PM (pHivF)








I see where you're coming from and I largely agree, except for the title "sir". To my mind, in the context of a traffic stop it's something of an abasement. Using their formal title, "Yes, officer", "No, officer" etc is respectful without descending uncomfortably close to grovelling.

I haven't had a ticket in over 20 years, even though I've been pulled over quite a few times. Formality, and being honest when you screw up on the road goes a long ways towards keeping a clean record.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at May 03, 2013 11:45 AM (TIIx5)

197 Do  you  know  who  I  am?  I'm  the  asshole  with  a tampon  on  my  forehead.

Posted by: John lennon at May 03, 2013 11:45 AM (WolTZ)

198 I'm really liking Reese's husband. He probably had him mom give him "the talk". By that I mean "the talk" that a friend of mine gave her sons when they were teen agers and started driving. "If a cop pulls you over, shut your mouth and do what you're told. It doesn't matter whether you think he's wrong or not, you can settle that in court later. Shut up and do what you're told, or you will end up face down in the gravel."

Posted by: nerdygirl at May 03, 2013 11:45 AM (ynec7)

199 195 I'm sorry, how is it "an affront" for him to be burried? Would you rather he be burried in, say, Green Bay? Phoenix? Or are you specifically looking for some way to disgrace/desecrate the body? Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at May 03, 2013 03:38 PM (/PCJa) Would it have been an affront to bury Hitler in Israel? He should be buried in some islamic hellhole -- not Boston. He had no connection to the US. His body shd go back to Dagestan or Chechnya -- not here.

Posted by: Waldo at May 03, 2013 11:46 AM (sXWmd)

200 Turkey, Japan sign deal to build nuclear reactor on Black Sea Published: 05.03.13, 21:31 / Israel News Japan and Turkey signed a deal worth $22 billion to build a nuclear reactor on the shores of the Black Sea in Turkish territory. Turkey's Prime Minister Recep Tayyip Erdogan said the deal is a significant step on the way to make Japan a strategic partner. As turkey barrels toward a full muzzie nation, what could possibly go wrong?

Posted by: Nevergiveup at May 03, 2013 11:46 AM (jE38p)

201 Arresting Reese was a joke.

Posted by: Dr Spank at May 03, 2013 03:40 PM (4cRnj)



She was advised to stay in the car.  She disobeyed that order and the officer did not know what she did while in the car, so he was in his right to consider her a threat and arrest her for obstruction.

It all boils down to "Do what the officer says, address it in court later, if necessary."

Why does everyone have to be an ass?  No one knows this even happened if she just stays in the fucking car as directed.

Posted by: © Sponge at May 03, 2013 11:46 AM (xmcEQ)

202 I read the article. I know, barrel. Ace's hottie is from around here. Florida: crazy and dangerous, but hot.

Posted by: Beagle at May 03, 2013 11:46 AM (sOtz/)

203 Hehe. The reason there aren't that many mug shots of pretty women is because we get off with a warning. Right girls?

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at May 03, 2013 11:46 AM (XYSwB)

204 #195

Or make him a 'sleeping policeman.' A speedbump for eternity. The street in question would become very popular and could have a donation box to help the victims of the bombing.

Posted by: epobirs at May 03, 2013 11:47 AM (kcfmt)

205 If Bin Ladin could be buried at sea, why can't they bury this asshole mid Atlantic?

Posted by: Waldo at May 03, 2013 11:47 AM (sXWmd)

206 Reese Witherspoon is the Gamma Phi gal who's boyfriend got caught DUI-ing on the outskirts of Tuscalossa or Baton Rouge or Oxford. What she did goes on all the time.  Daddy's a doctor, usually, or the state senator's chief of staff or some bullshit like that. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. This is America.  She and her jawline can come to my party anytime.  Door's open. 

Posted by: occam's brassiere at May 03, 2013 11:47 AM (65Fed)

207 I'm surprised that Harvard isn't building a giant memorial to Speedbump.

Posted by: Damn Sockpuppet at May 03, 2013 11:47 AM (YmPwQ)

208 OSP's advice for getting pulled over at night. 1) Stop your car, roll down the window and turn it off. 2) Light up the interior of your car like the sun. Every interior light you can turn on without reaching around too much, turn it on. The scariest thing a cop has to do is walk up to a dark car, do him/her a favor and they may do you one in return. Advice from my Alabama state trooper cousin.

Posted by: Oldsailors Poet Palin/West 2016 at May 03, 2013 11:48 AM (XIxXP)

209 When I was USSS at SW gate of WH, the "don't you know who I am's" would get held until a Dr. could examine their amnesiac episode

Posted by: Jeff E at May 03, 2013 11:48 AM (Ga7m4)

210 If Bin Ladin could be buried at sea, why can't they bury this asshole mid Atlantic?


Mid-Atlantic?  That costs money.  Doesn't Boston have a pier?

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at May 03, 2013 11:48 AM (8ZskC)

211 Andy Levy is now America's Sweetheart. The committee had to strip Reese after this.     Posted by: Beagle at May 03, 2013 03:41 PM (sOtz/)

------------------------

I would have put money on Jason collins.

Posted by: irright at May 03, 2013 11:49 AM (pMGkg)

212 Love Reese. She was great in "Importance of Being Earnest."

Posted by: Body Builder at May 03, 2013 11:49 AM (DrC22)

213 I remember I had some problems with cops as a teen, usually because they would constantly stop me when I was out after school to ask "what I'm doing" and ask to check my coat and pockets and whatever. I still think it was douchebag behavior. I remember one time I was waiting for my friend after school (after I finished school) and they even stopped and asked "What, do you like hanging around kids?". I mean, I was the same age as the friends I'm waiting for...but guy talks to me like I'm a pedophile.

 Anyways, living in the burbs...I've had friendlier experiences. I'm not sure if it was a Chicago cop thing, or just because I was a teen. I do think it's funny that I was treated like how my black friends claim they are treated. They called it racist or profiling, but I'm not exactly black...I think it's just teens are suspicious.

 Anyways, I relate to dealing with jerk cops. But if you did something wrong, own it. It does no good to lash out because you were stupid and got caught. I've been there too, and it just makes you look like an ass.

Posted by: Crazee (@Crazizzle) at May 03, 2013 11:49 AM (w7s1j)

214 The scariest thing a cop has to do is walk up to a dark car, do him/her a favor and they may do you one in return. Advice from my Alabama state trooper cousin. Posted by: Oldsailors Poet Palin/West 2016 at May 03, 2013 03:48 PM (XIxXP) Nice. Never heard this before.

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at May 03, 2013 11:50 AM (XYSwB)

215 OSP's advice for getting pulled over at night.

1) Stop your car, roll down the window and turn it off.

2) Light up the interior of your car like the sun. Every interior light you can turn on without reaching around too much, turn it on.


And if you're outside Florence, for God's sake put your damn pants back on.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at May 03, 2013 11:50 AM (8ZskC)

216

Oldsailors Poet Palin/West 2016 at May 03, 2013 03:48 PM

 

Also make sure both of your hands are on that steering wheel *before* he walks up. 

 

I got the same advice - put the cop at ease, be polite, if you fucked up then say you're sorry for fucking up, and your chances of getting a warning increase 100 fold.

Posted by: @JohnTant at May 03, 2013 11:50 AM (eytER)

217 The girl in the post looks like January Jones.

Posted by: Dr Spank at May 03, 2013 11:50 AM (4cRnj)

218

You're taking me to jail?

Good thing I have that mini bottle of Jack Daniels up my butt.

Posted by: Flying Squid at May 03, 2013 11:51 AM (uhftQ)

219 213 I'm surprised that Harvard isn't building a giant memorial to Speedbump. Posted by: Damn Sockpuppet at May 03, 2013 03:47 PM (YmPwQ) ------------- Nah, but they're probably waiting for Joker to serve his slap-on-the-wrist sentence so they can give him a tenured faculty position.

Posted by: Margarita DeVille at May 03, 2013 11:51 AM (C8mVl)

220 'And the ever popular "don't you have real crime to be solving". Yes, traffic cops love it when you denegrate the job they are doing.' Posted by: Mallamutt, RINO President for Life Traffic cops have had to go into the woods and fields to find the dead bodies of children after a horrific accident where the kids weren't seat-belted, and of course, the other driver was drunk. There are a lot worse things than a speeding ticket or even a DUI. Reese needs to grow up and count her blessings.

Posted by: nerdygirl at May 03, 2013 11:51 AM (ynec7)

221 Reese has Jay Leno chin...just sayin.

Posted by: Adam Smith's Invisible Pimp Hand at May 03, 2013 11:51 AM (oBhEo)

222

Off squid sock

 

Posted by: Tilikum The Killer Assault Whale at May 03, 2013 11:51 AM (uhftQ)

223 I was taking my younger daughter back to school a few years ago and I was all alone on the highway and was going a tad fast. I got pulled over. The cop came up to the car and I had my wallet out already on my lap with my ID face up and when he said " Commander do you know how fast you were going?" I knew he was going to let me go, but I was as polite and apologetic as I could be.

Posted by: Nevergiveup at May 03, 2013 11:51 AM (jE38p)

224 Sheppy Smith's an ass.  "This Reese Witherspoon video is manna from Heaven."


Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 03, 2013 11:51 AM (lVPtV)

225

Just got here...

 

Has anyone told management that the Side Bar has been italicized?

 

Posted by: wheatie at May 03, 2013 11:51 AM (3B3wv)

226 Is there new info. on where he's being buried? The stories from MA say that he's being prepared at Mahoney's Funeral Home, but they backed off saying he'd ultimately be buried in Worcester.

Posted by: Lincolntf at May 03, 2013 11:52 AM (ZshNr)

227 219 Well,my dad was a teen in the 50's and he said cops bothered the kids all the time.Pulled them over,asked to check the trunk,if you were out on the corner they told you to go home etc.He and his friends were white of course.

Posted by: steevy at May 03, 2013 11:53 AM (dBYCN)

228

 

sorry if they're not holding the numbered plate with a  side profile shot  it just doesn't do it for me

Posted by: kj at May 03, 2013 11:53 AM (7IE/u)

229 Old one up...again

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at May 03, 2013 11:53 AM (8ZskC)

230 Is there new info. on where he's being buried? The stories from MA say that he's being prepared at Mahoney's Funeral Home, but they backed off saying he'd ultimately be buried in Worcester. Posted by: Lincolntf at May 03, 2013 03:52 PM (ZshNr) they should bury him outside some local irish bar so people can go outside and piss on him all night

Posted by: Nevergiveup at May 03, 2013 11:53 AM (jE38p)

231 Ever wonder how I get off?

Posted by: Jason Collins at May 03, 2013 11:54 AM (B+urN)

232 After reading Mrs. Spoon's apology, my respect-o-meter has gone from a 1 to a 6 1/2, maybe 7.


Posted by: Stick in he Mud at May 03, 2013 11:54 AM (yDWX4)

233

230 Sheppy Smith's an ass.

 

Yes. Yes, he is, Jane. And he never takes a day off from his assitude.

Posted by: wheatie at May 03, 2013 11:54 AM (3B3wv)

234 And if you're outside Florence, for God's sake put your damn pants back on. And keep hers off. Cop might get so distracted he forgets to write a ticket.

Posted by: rickb223 at May 03, 2013 11:54 AM (pHivF)

235

The scariest thing a cop has to do is walk up to a dark car, do him/her a favor and they may do you one in return. Advice from my Alabama state trooper cousin.
Posted by: Oldsailors Poet Palin/West 2016 at May 03, 2013 03:48 PM (XIxXP)

 

 

--------------------------------------------

 

 

.....and, put both hands on the steering wheel as he approaches. 

Posted by: Soona at May 03, 2013 11:55 AM (ymDPi)

236 Went with a friend to her DUI sentencing and in the room were about 20 people also there for the exact same sentencing for the same crime (2nd offense DUI). Every one of them got the exact same sentence no matter how they were dressed (one guy was in a 3 pc suit) that looked like he didn't wear suits normally. Everyone got 30 days in jail with ten suspended, so 20 days. EXCEPT the mexican guy. Same crime, he got 50 days. I'm sitting there thinking wow, thats not obvious, then the judge said he's reconsidered the sentence and gave him what everyone else got.

Posted by: Up With People! at May 03, 2013 11:55 AM (FmFB3)

237 108 >>Posted by: wooga at May 03, 2013 03:22 PM (CbCus)<< Is it the FUPA or her face that throws off your fappage the most? Posted by: Muad'dib at May 03, 2013 03:24 PM (KjlbF)

it is fupa all the way down. I'm going to be sick.

Posted by: wooga at May 03, 2013 11:56 AM (CbCus)

238 He said ' your insurance is expired ' at which time I realized I had given him my old card which expired 4days previously and still had in the glove compartment.

Iowa let me off of that one when I provided proof that I really was insured at the time the ticket was written, but I had to appear in court. 

Which was a really interesting experience...my case took about five minutes, but I had to wait through about a dozen FSA misdemeanors before I was called. I was the only one who'd bothered to put on clean business-casual type clothes. They were all trying to weasel out of fines/jail time wearing wife-beaters and pajama pants and fishnets and obscene T-shirts and boxers hanging out.  Really? I know you're broke, but for less than the cost of a pack of smokes, you can get a shirt with no writing at Goodwill, you only have to wear it the once.

Posted by: HeatherRadish™ needs a beer at May 03, 2013 11:56 AM (/kI1Q)

239 .....and, put both hands on the steering wheel as he approaches. Posted by: Soona at May 03, 2013 03:55 PM (ymDPi) Thanks, I forgot that part, and make sure all of your passengers keep their hands visible.

Posted by: Oldsailors Poet Palin/West 2016 at May 03, 2013 11:57 AM (XIxXP)

240 I dispute "downhill at the link." Miss El Paso for one. And all the rest of them. One is only cute with gravity-defying cleavage or something?

Posted by: Beagle at May 03, 2013 11:57 AM (sOtz/)

241 Of course Reese apologized. Was there anything in that video that was even  remotely defensible? No. It was disgraceful conduct all around. Telling the cop she was preggers? Had to pee? It is to laugh. Kudos to the cop.

Posted by: navybrat at May 03, 2013 11:58 AM (2ZO++)

242

Because there's no such thing, from adults. I've never heard a non-kid "Sir" that wasn't really "I deserve to be punched in the neck until it's all squishy inside, but I don't think you'll do it." -------------------

 

 

Ummmm.... I call most of the men I meet who are older than me "Sir" I even call my dad that. The gentlemen at the American Legion get the "Sir" even if I know them and they are my age.  Yeah, there are adults who do that.

Posted by: madamemayhem at May 03, 2013 11:58 AM (S2RnE)

243 Ummmm.... I call most of the men I meet who are older than me "Sir" I even call my dad that. The gentlemen at the American Legion get the "Sir" even if I know them and they are my age. Yeah, there are adults who do that. Posted by: madamemayhem at May 03, 2013 03:58 PM (S2RnE) Yep, me too. even men younger than me that I sometimes work for.

Posted by: Oldsailors Poet Palin/West 2016 at May 03, 2013 11:59 AM (XIxXP)

244

Don't think desecration would work here. I mean, he was used as a speed bump. Perhaps we should bury him in the region of the world that he so loved.

 

Chechnya?  I guess, but that's rather expensive for what amounts to garbage disposal.

 

As for "no ties to America" that's true, if you discount 10 years living here, an American wife, and a brother (albiet himself a shit-stain) who is also an American citizen.

 

I mean, I don't really care where he gets burried, or if he gets cremated, or burried at sea.  I'm just wondering why others have such obviously strong opinions.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at May 03, 2013 11:59 AM (/PCJa)

245 My friends in Worcester are already brimming with suggestions as to what they would do if they knew where he'was buried. There are a bunch of big, old cemeteries in Worcester, nobody is going to want him going where their parents are. I foresee a bit iofa shitshow. Already a bunch of the more knee-jerk types are swearing a boycott of Mahoney's because they "prepared" the body, which I think is ridiculous. It has to be done, the State obviously didn't want to do it, so somebody had to.

Posted by: Lincolntf at May 03, 2013 11:59 AM (ZshNr)

246
Bad, bad girls!
Wicked, naughty girls!
They should be tied up and spanked.
Then after the spanking the oral sex

Posted by: Zoot just Zoot at May 03, 2013 12:00 PM (mETGQ)

247 My youngest brother was playing free taxicab for a bunch of friends who got hammered at a house party. So he was tearing ass to get back to drive another bunch home and he got pulled over.  He told the cop what he was doing. The cop told him to not drive so fast and thanked him for helping to keep drunks off the road.

Posted by: Penfold at May 03, 2013 12:00 PM (Fbt5B)

248 Bad, bad girls! Wicked, naughty girls! They should be tied up and spanked. Then after the spanking the oral sex I thought that was a given. You aint from around here are ya?

Posted by: Oldsailors Poet Palin/West 2016 at May 03, 2013 12:01 PM (XIxXP)

249 Considering the tint some car windows have, if the cop can't see you clearly he will be twitchy.

Don't do the chicken when the officer approaches, ie hands flapping everywhere as you look for your insurance and proof of ownership.  Or you will be eating gravel after being TASE'd.

And for goodness sake, turn the radio off.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at May 03, 2013 12:01 PM (tsPRH)

250 Miss El Paso (Lorena Tavera) FTW!!!

Posted by: Trubador at May 03, 2013 12:01 PM (MlrAE)

251

got pulled over late at night once, the cop asked me to get out of the car to administer a field sobriety test just then some idiot goes by driving on the wrong side of the street cop hands me my license back tells me its my lucky day and takes off after the guy

Posted by: kj at May 03, 2013 12:01 PM (7IE/u)

252 @233:

I've seen that portrayed that way in books and movies, but as a kid...I felt targeted. We're all idiots at that age anyways. I certainly was. I guess it's different for a kid to act crazy than a grown adult, though. They should have the life experience to mature...at least a little.

I always wanted to bring this up when people talk about profiling, though. Everything black teens complain about experiencing (pulled over by cops for no reason, shop clerks looking at you as if you're a theif, etc) due to "racism" is something I dealt with too. It's not so much racial as a suspicion that youths are more likely to commit crimes. I don't get it all now, cops even stop and ask me if I need a ride when I'm going for a walk.

 

Posted by: Crazee (@Crazizzle) at May 03, 2013 12:02 PM (w7s1j)

253 some of those girls could use a little post arrest "counseling"

Posted by: TheQuietMan at May 03, 2013 12:02 PM (1Jaio)

254 do him/her a favor and they may do you one in return.

It works.

Posted by: dogfish at May 03, 2013 12:04 PM (nsOJa)

255 you know who should've been pulled over?  Joker after he ran over his brother

Posted by: Thunderb at May 03, 2013 12:04 PM (nH8jP)

256
I thought that was a given. You aint from around here are ya?

Posted by: Oldsailors Poet Palin/West 2016 at May 03, 2013 04:01 PM (XIxXP)


We at Castle Anthrax don't get out much.

Posted by: Dingo twin sisiter of Zoot at May 03, 2013 12:04 PM (mETGQ)

257

"Also under the influence behind the wheel, and influencing us all from in front of the camera is Rachel Kathryn Lemler..." 

 

 

Why did I hear Robin Leach's voice when I read that? "This is Robin Leach, wishing you all gray bar dreams, and orange jumpsuit wishes".  

Posted by: DaveinNC at May 03, 2013 12:05 PM (boNGU)

258 261 you know who should've been pulled over? Joker after he ran over his brother

Posted by: Thunderb at May 03, 2013 04:04 PM (nH8jP)

ZING!

Posted by: Crazee (@Crazizzle) at May 03, 2013 12:05 PM (w7s1j)

259 Telling the cop she was preggers? Had to pee? ...just watched it and missed that. She spoke stupidly. Reese was "politely" mouthy but not ZsaZsa crazy. And the law officer politely reciprocated her refusal to get back into the car on command. Neither raised their voices into a shouting match. Such good Southern manners, even during an arrest. There are of course some people, like Mrs. Obama for instance, that refuse any order, even to be quiet. I guess they don't "take turns" very well, either. /Ask Hillary '08.

Posted by: it depends at May 03, 2013 12:05 PM (MhA4j)

260 Kate Upton getting spanked
http://youtu.be/Woh97edfOMc

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at May 03, 2013 12:06 PM (tsPRH)

261 Anyways, I relate to dealing with jerk cops. But if you did something wrong, own it. -------------------- Absolutely not! Never admit any wrongdoing. If you can't manage to talk to cop without doing that, just keep your mouth shut.

Posted by: Farmer Joe at May 03, 2013 12:09 PM (HJsDx)

262 232 Is there new info. on where he's being buried? The stories from MA say that he's being prepared at Mahoney's Funeral Home, but they backed off saying he'd ultimately be buried in Worcester. Posted by: Lincolntf http://goo.gl/yT4y0 The reporting as usual is contradictory. They say he is "being prepared for burial somewhere in or around Boston" and that no cemetary in Mass or 2 other states will take him. The family wants a second autopsy because they believe that the cops murdered him. Well, fuck them. Who is the family? Who is paying for this? He should not be buried in the US at all. The parents don't want the body but why are we stuck with his rotting carcass? http://goo.gl/KGi03 This is not going to be a cheap funeral since they have to pay for security. Again, who is footing the bill and if they have the money to do so, why can't they ship him back to where he came from?

Posted by: Waldo at May 03, 2013 12:09 PM (sXWmd)

263 If it wasn't in Florida, I'd swear it was an ex-girlfriend of mine.

Posted by: Vashta Nerada at May 03, 2013 12:10 PM (NJs1e)

264 I have a friend and the cops know who he is-but not for the reason you might think. He's about 70 and an avid birdwatcher so he's up listening to the birds and watching for them at preserves around the township-long before they're supposed to be open. In fact, sometimes the cops will drive up and say, "Hey, it's about 7:00, Aren't you supposed to be at such and such a place by now?" he likes them and kids them and says. " You get paid overtime for this-watching some senior citizen bird watcher?"

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at May 03, 2013 12:10 PM (INYkK)

265 >>Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at May 03, 2013 04:06 PM (tsPRH)<<


O.O


cough.



Thanks AP.

Posted by: Muad'dib at May 03, 2013 12:11 PM (KjlbF)

266 >>Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at May 03, 2013 04:06 PM (tsPRH)<<


O.O


cough.



Thanks AP.

Posted by: Muad'dib at May 03, 2013 12:11 PM (KjlbF)

267 It has to be done, the State obviously didn't want to do it, so somebody had to. Posted by: Lincolntf Somebody - but not necessarily them. They could have refused. It would put pressure on the "family" to ship him back to where he came from.

Posted by: Waldo at May 03, 2013 12:14 PM (sXWmd)

268 I'd only give her provisional 'ette status.  A real 'ette would, once she realized she'd stepped in it, pivot by offering the officer a sammich.

Posted by: Captain Hate at May 03, 2013 12:17 PM (POCCG)

269 As for "no ties to America" that's true, if you discount 10 years living here, an American wife, and a brother (albiet himself a shit-stain) who is also an American citizen. And how many of those years did he spend plotting against this country? He couldn't even be bothered to get citizenship in 10 years. His wife won't even claim his body and what are the chances his brother who also plotted against this country will be visiting his grave? Ship the carcass back to russia - now.

Posted by: Waldo at May 03, 2013 12:17 PM (sXWmd)

270 From my experience (includes working at a Chippendale's sort of strip club for women customers - and no I wasn't a dancer),  Reese Witherspoon's behavior is typical to a "T", and very common, for many women who are feeling empowered and have had a wee-bit too much fun. It is all rather harmless, especially once the booze wears off. That was a fairly routine incident, the only thing notable being a celeb was involved.

Posted by: Cowboy at May 03, 2013 12:17 PM (FMrA0)

271

The ultimate reality of the Obama Administration is that there is little hope.

When JFK was President, the USA was going to the moon and every child wanted to grow up to be an astronaut.

When BHO is President, the USA is going nowhere. The space shuttle is no more. Children can aspire to be on Food Stamps when they grow up.

Posted by: Pres**ent Barack “Unexpectedly Humble” Obama at May 03, 2013 12:23 PM (e8kgV)

272

@97

"As me and the lawyer were checking the tape of the arrest, I looked like a sober catholic schoolboy."

If such a thing as a Party-Hearty Hall of Fame existed, I bet you'd be one of the original inductees. Getting out of the dui the way you described and having puked IN your pants during a concert!? Fuck yeah bro! I'm in awe.

Posted by: fastfreefall at May 03, 2013 12:26 PM (MPEti)

273 Way late but more good stuff from across the pond.

Posted by: Golfman in NC at May 03, 2013 12:28 PM (/djtm)

274 OnMonday I went to report it and lo and behold, Houston has a five page prelimiary report you have to fill outbefore your complaint is evensubmitted.

Straw. Camel. Back. Broke.


Always be polite with the officer - give him zero indication that you are going to report him for being an ass. Then report him - if he hasn't made any special notes detailing bad behavior on your part on his ticket report - he is in deep trouble. His higher ups will believe the civilian when the cop hasn't made a report of  bad behavior. This came from some Houston Police officers I know.
 

Posted by: An Observation at May 03, 2013 12:39 PM (ylhEn)

275 1 Officer, please don't punish me for my crazy, drunk-ass wife. I told the bitch to sit down and shut the fuck up. Posted by: Future Mr. Ex Reese Witherspoon at May 03, 2013 03:02 PM

Men with famous wives just don't know how to keep their bitches in line nowadays

Posted by: Ike Turner at May 03, 2013 12:50 PM (mCvL4)

276 135 Don't you know who I am?

"Ma'am I can't watch all the porn under the sun who are you?"

Posted by: sven10077@sven10077 at May 03, 2013 03:31 PM

Threadwinner of the week!

Posted by: kbdabear at May 03, 2013 01:00 PM (mCvL4)

277 @256 (re: lorena tavera). Looks like she's being cuffed in this pic http://tinyurl.com/co3hfdb

Posted by: Chairman LMAO at May 03, 2013 02:39 PM (9eDbm)

278

whoa nelly huh? bronk kicks side of jeep

 

Posted by: Trigger at May 03, 2013 02:45 PM (N3Al8)

279 #49 Posted by: Paladin at May 03, 2013 03:13 PM (y53d1)

Chris Rock had some awesome advice on how not to get your ass beat by the police.  I think Mr. McNair and Mr. husband-of-Reese-Witherspoon watched that and took the lessons to heart. 

Response for when the angry girlfriend/missus accuses you of not standing up for her?  State "Someone had to be able to get your bail money together and show up with it in the morning."  And after stating that get ready to survive a nuclear attack.*

*Duck and Cover is still good advice.  And have a local bar to go to until the storm subsides.  That is also good, traditional advice for males.  As in "Yep, another beer;" checks watch, "I got to stay out for at least two more hours before I can go home."

Posted by: Mikey NTH - Pirate Scum of Umbar at May 03, 2013 03:46 PM (gmoEG)

280 258 I always wanted to bring this up when people talk about profiling, though. Everything black teens complain about experiencing (pulled over by cops for no reason, shop clerks looking at you as if you're a theif, etc) due to "racism" is something I dealt with too. It's not so much racial as a suspicion that youths are more likely to commit crimes. I don't get it all now, cops even stop and ask me if I need a ride when I'm going for a walk. Posted by: Crazee (@Crazizzle) at May 03, 2013 04:02 PM (w7s1j) Exactly. I told a story a couple of days ago where I went into a high-end men's clothing store to buy a new wallet. As I examined the merchandise, I had a strong feeling that store security was watching me. It didn't bother me, since the way I was dressed made it bloody obvious that I was not a regular customer.

Posted by: rickl at May 04, 2013 01:59 AM (sdi6R)

281 To paraphrase the princesses in "The Holy Grail", these babes need spankings, then oral sex.

Posted by: Smarty at May 04, 2013 05:32 AM (llVl9)

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