Ace of Spades HQ

January 24, 2013

Done Deal: J.J. Abrams Will Direct New Star Wars Movie
— Ace

I had a sidebar item about the new franchise yesterday, about them hiring the guy who used to do their poster-paintings (and the poster-paintings for the Indy movies).

Eh... I currently hate Star Wars but I suppose the fictional universe does still have potential. We just had to get What's-His-Name out of it.

So: J.J. Abrams.

One thing he can do is do a slavish imitation -- I didn't much like Super 8, but he did basically make a more Spielbergian film than Steven Spielberg, didn't he?

That ability of mimicry might result in Star Wars movies that sort of resemble the first three.

Eh. What the heck. Can't be worse than the prequels. And I did like Mission: Impossible 3. (The only one I actually liked. If you didn't like the first two, you should still give that one a chance -- it's good. It's on Amazon Prime, for free.)

Ultimate Sacrilege? Brian in NO links this quote from Abrams on his Star Wars gig.

This quote sold me on Abrams: "I frankly feel that -- I almost feel that, in a weird way, the opportunity for whomever it is to direct that movie, it comes with the burden of being that kind of iconic movie and series. I was never a big 'Star Trek' fan growing up, so for me, working on 'Star Trek' didn't have any of that, you know, almost fatal sacrilege. And so, I am looking forward more then anyone to the next iterations of 'Star Wars,' but I believe I will be going as a paying moviegoer!"

As another commenter observed, he already has a film's worth of practice at making a Star Wars movie; his first Star Wars film was titled Star Trek. You probably saw it. I loved when Luke/Kirk looked up to see the Enterprise/Twin Suns over the horizon.

So, I guess at least he does have a sense of why the first three worked, and why they were fun.

Whoops: Turns out that sidebar item was wrong-- Drew Struzan (the old poster-painter for Star Wars) hasn't been asked to do posters for the new ones.

"Disney" has said nothing to me and I expect nothing. That a couple of friends were wishing is only an expression of the hope that many are sharing but says nothing regarding the Studio itself. Even if 'they' did ask, which Disney has not, I'd rather leave the new films to the next generation to interpret. I've had my time and they were exceptional blessings for which I will forever be grateful.
Tomorrow is a new dayÂ…drew

Well, then let this turn out to be a happy accident: They should ask Struzan. If they're looking to get back some of the previous magic, they need to grab up as much of the old talent as they can.

Thanks for the correction to Dr. Buzz E... Yannoglanchie, or something. Who can keep up.

Posted by: Ace at 02:03 PM | Comments (218)
Post contains 507 words, total size 3 kb.

1 Will Goofy be the new Jar-Jar?

Posted by: rickb223 at January 24, 2013 02:05 PM (d0Dmj)

2 So we'll find out that Luke's son is Kirk's father?

Posted by: Some1 at January 24, 2013 02:06 PM (cSlKk)

3 He directed the 2009 Star Trek. He'll do just fine. That had a very Star Wars feel.

Posted by: NYCcon at January 24, 2013 02:06 PM (jLXdE)

4 It's lonely in here.

Posted by: rickb223 at January 24, 2013 02:06 PM (d0Dmj)

5 >>>He directed the 2009 Star Trek. He'll do just fine. That had a very Star Wars feel. I didn't love that one but yeah, they should have called that Star Trek: Star Wars.

Posted by: ace at January 24, 2013 02:07 PM (LCRYB)

6 Can't be worse than the prequels.

That sounds like a challenge.

Posted by: HeatherRadish™ needs a beer at January 24, 2013 02:07 PM (ZKzrr)

7 it may sound like a challenge but it's an insuperable one. It is not possible to make worse movies than the prequels.

Posted by: ace at January 24, 2013 02:09 PM (LCRYB)

8 Ohhh - Com'on - The world needs more star war movies...

They have a whole new batch of characters to manufacture in China to sell to the Nerds in Basements...

Everybody knows Marketing is where the real money
is made....

Posted by: American Dawg at January 24, 2013 02:09 PM (trA4n)

9 As long as Jar-Jar dies a horrible death in a tragic warp core accident in the first 5 minutes, I'm OK with it.

Posted by: @PurpAv at January 24, 2013 02:09 PM (GlnE7)

10 You just got to love those photo's today of that horse fly on the presidente' ..I am art is art I guess..

Posted by: Clemenza at January 24, 2013 02:09 PM (x59Gv)

11 That was almost Biblical that fly on Presidente'

Posted by: Clemenza at January 24, 2013 02:10 PM (x59Gv)

12 Well, Star Wars sort of sucks, and J.J. Abrams is sort of dull, so he will probably actually improve Star Wars. And it will keep him away from Star Trek. So, win, win.

Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at January 24, 2013 02:10 PM (CHnHn)

13 The same director that directed the last two (one not yet released) Star Treks is now also doing Star Wars? We have almost reached geek nirvana.

Posted by: MikeTheMoose Offering Moobats Gasoline and Matches at January 24, 2013 02:10 PM (0q2P7)

14 Eat shit man. 10 quadrillion flies can't be wrong.

Posted by: @PurpAv at January 24, 2013 02:11 PM (GlnE7)

15 Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol wasn't bad, either, btw. At any rate, I'm pretty excited about this, but it does seem pretty crazy that Star Trek and Star Wars are being directed by the same guy.

I was going to joke about a crossover until someone told me that R2-D2 had already made a cameo in 2009 Star Trek reboot.

Posted by: Sundoulos at January 24, 2013 02:11 PM (6zaGp)

16 Did I mention I just busted a gut with that fly today on Prizzy Prezzy!!!! Awesome, but as the dems say whats the difference, it is all brown..

Posted by: Clemenza at January 24, 2013 02:11 PM (x59Gv)

17 He out-Spielberged Spielberg with "Super 8" Prepare to see him out-Lucas Lucas with "Star Wars: The Captain EO Adventure"

Posted by: wooga at January 24, 2013 02:12 PM (zqbIA)

18 "13 The same director that directed the last two (one not yet released) Star Treks is now also doing Star Wars? We have almost reached geek nirvana. Posted by: MikeTheMoose Offering Moobats Gasoline and Matches at January 24, 2013 06:10 PM (0q2P7) " Nirvana? I don't think so.

Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at January 24, 2013 02:12 PM (CHnHn)

J.J.Abrams? ...Didn't he also do fringe?

Oh, and Ace...Greg Gutfeld just said that he's doing a big thing tonight on Red Eye, about..."Cuteness".

"Does cuteness make people aggressive?"

Now where did I see this topic before?

Posted by: wheatie at January 24, 2013 02:13 PM (fH4X9)

20 Now would be a good time to review the Top Ten Star Wars Euphemisms for Self-Abuse in the sidebar.

Posted by: angler at January 24, 2013 02:13 PM (SwjAj)

21 "14 Eat shit man. 10 quadrillion flies can't be wrong. Posted by: @PurpAv at January 24, 2013 06:11 PM (GlnE7) " This.

Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at January 24, 2013 02:13 PM (CHnHn)

22 19...ack, I shoulda capitalized 'Fringe'.

Posted by: wheatie at January 24, 2013 02:13 PM (fH4X9)

23 I liked his Star Trek, but I may have been overly influenced by Chris Pine's yumminess.

Posted by: Y-not at January 24, 2013 02:13 PM (5H6zj)

24 I thought the other prequels couldn't be worse than the other prequels, but somehow they're all worse than each other.

I think if we can get Whedon to write this thing and Nolan's guy to edit it, we can destroy the universe.

Posted by: oblig. at January 24, 2013 02:13 PM (cePv8)

25 Disney has been a good custodian of Marvel's franchises. I don't think they will screw up Star Wars as bad as Lucas did.

Posted by: Jordan at January 24, 2013 02:14 PM (Hz1zc)

26 It was almost offered to Ben Afleck. Really.

This quote sold me on Abrams: "I frankly feel that -- I almost feel that, in a weird way, the opportunity for whomever it is to direct that movie, it comes with the burden of being that kind of iconic movie and series. I was never a big 'Star Trek' fan growing up, so for me, working on 'Star Trek' didn't have any of that, you know, almost fatal sacrilege. And so, I am looking forward more then anyone to the next iterations of 'Star Wars,' but I believe I will be going as a paying moviegoer!"

Posted by: Brian in New Orleans at January 24, 2013 02:14 PM (llljM)

27 As long as Jar-Jar dies a horrible death in a tragic warp core accident in the first 5 minutes, I'm OK with it.

In a bizarre and tragic twist of fate, Jar-Jar, unaware of the peril he faced, allowed himself to come between Michelle Obama and a burrito.

Posted by: pep at January 24, 2013 02:14 PM (6TB1Z)

28 all you 70s guys like Star Wars and Star Trek; that plus disco ( and nylon shirts ) rotted your mind and made you crayzee

Posted by: sierra five at January 24, 2013 02:14 PM (Dll6b)

29 **uper 8, but he did basically make a more Spielbergian film than Steven Spielberg, didn't he?** you mean it wasn't speilberg? wow, that boy's scary.

Posted by: joeindc44 wonders if anyone has any advice for the GOP at January 24, 2013 02:15 PM (QxSug)

30 If you haven't seen "Captain EO" - you cannot appreciate the horrible risks posed by the Lucas-Disney-StarWars conspiracy.

Posted by: wooga at January 24, 2013 02:15 PM (zqbIA)

31 >>>Disney has been a good custodian of Marvel's franchises. yes but I think that's a team, not the company. Of course, the company did hire the team and let the team make good decisions. So that's something. I just mean we can't depend on having another smart team in charge. Hope, sure.

Posted by: ace at January 24, 2013 02:15 PM (LCRYB)

32 And I did like Mission: Impossible 3.

MI4 was really good too. I actually hope he does mimic the first 3 like he did with Super 8, the alternative is a flick full of the JJ Abrams glare lighting we've all come to know and hate.

Posted by: booger at January 24, 2013 02:15 PM (HI6wa)

33 I thought the original Mission Impossible was awesome. It was the only actual "spy-ey" of the bunch.

Posted by: Serious Cat at January 24, 2013 02:17 PM (UypUQ)

34 well according to that quote upthread he felt he could screw with Star Trek because he wasn't a big fan, but feels a sense of reverence for Star Wars, so he won't do the lens flare crap. Then again, being too reverent can be bad, too. Look at the Watchmen.

Posted by: ace at January 24, 2013 02:17 PM (LCRYB)

35 "Well, Star Wars sort of sucks, and J.J. Abrams is sort of dull, so he will probably actually improve Star Wars. And it will keep him away from Star Trek. So, win, win." Pffft, Star Trek has been sucking for a long time. Nothing JJ did or will do to it can make it worse.

Posted by: Burn the Witch at January 24, 2013 02:17 PM (4c71i)

36 Is he chewing George Lucas' chocolate?

Posted by: Dr. Varno at January 24, 2013 02:17 PM (OzEdP)

37
Abrams is a huge Obama and Democrat moneyman, so expect the film to touch on an assault light-sabre ban.....

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at January 24, 2013 02:17 PM (kdS6q)

38 Whedon isn't perfect...that Alien 4 he did totally sucked.

Posted by: CanaDave at January 24, 2013 02:17 PM (aWb7O)

24 I thought the other prequels couldn't be worse than the other prequels, but somehow they're all worse than each other.

The thing I hate most about prequels...is how they use more advanced technology in the prequels, than was used in the original movie that they are doing the prequel to..!

But I guess we're not supposed to notice that.

Posted by: wheatie at January 24, 2013 02:17 PM (fH4X9)

40 13 The same director that directed the last two (one not yet released) Star Treks is now also doing Star Wars? We have almost reached geek nirvana.

Posted by: MikeTheMoose Offering Moobats Gasoline and Matches at January 24, 2013 06:10 PM (0q2P7)

Don't cross the Streams Ray.... that would be bad...

Posted by: Big Saftey Tip! at January 24, 2013 02:18 PM (lZBBB)

41 Look at just about any Disney Movie ,
Disney made a fortune on separation anxiety....

Posted by: American Dawg at January 24, 2013 02:18 PM (trA4n)

42 Any bets as to how he fits his big red liquid ball into the plot?

Posted by: somebody else, not me at January 24, 2013 02:18 PM (nZvGM)

43 "35 "Well, Star Wars sort of sucks, and J.J. Abrams is sort of dull, so he will probably actually improve Star Wars. And it will keep him away from Star Trek. So, win, win." Pffft, Star Trek has been sucking for a long time. Nothing JJ did or will do to it can make it worse. Posted by: Burn the Witch at January 24, 2013 06:17 PM (4c71i) " If there's one thing I've learned, it's that things can always get worse.

Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at January 24, 2013 02:19 PM (CHnHn)

44 If there's one thing I've learned, it's that things can always get worse.

Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at January 24, 2013 06:19 PM (CHnHn)

Yes.... don't tempt me.... I take it as a challenge...

Posted by: Fate at January 24, 2013 02:21 PM (lZBBB)

45 "37 Abrams is a huge Obama and Democrat moneyman, so expect the film to touch on an assault light-sabre ban..... Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at January 24, 2013 06:17 PM (kdS6q) " Didn't Anakin use a lightsabre to kill a bunch of kid Jedis? Something must be done!

Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at January 24, 2013 02:21 PM (CHnHn)

46 I am bemused that there's only one SciFi director now? Well, two, right? him and Weedon?

Posted by: joeindc44 wonders if anyone has any advice for the GOP at January 24, 2013 02:21 PM (QxSug)

47
The same director that directed the last two Star Treks is now also doing Star Wars? We have almost reached geek nirvana.

Now imagine a Nicholas Meyer Star Wars movie.....

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at January 24, 2013 02:21 PM (kdS6q)

48 That sounds like a challenge.

Posted by: HeatherRadishÂ™ needs a beer at January 24, 2013 06:07 PM (ZKzrr)

I've got a bad feeling about this ...

Posted by: ConservativeMonster at January 24, 2013 02:21 PM (xGZ+b)

49 Star Wars 7 through 9 will resemble Caddyshack II. I have no doubt. With more CGI and 3D things flying at you. I'm not in line.

Posted by: dfbaskwill at January 24, 2013 02:22 PM (ndlFj)

50 "39 24I thought the other prequels couldn't be worse than the other prequels, but somehow they're all worse than each other. The thing I hate most about prequels...is how they use more advanced technology in the prequels, thanwas used in the original movie thatthey are doing the prequel to..! But I guess we're not supposed to notice that. Posted by: wheatie at January 24, 2013 06:17 PM (fH4X9) " Get used to that paradigm. Technology requires a functioning society and civilization.

Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at January 24, 2013 02:22 PM (CHnHn)

51 Meh, he already admitted the lens flare thing was ridiculous, so I think that's behind him now.

Posted by: Burn the Witch at January 24, 2013 02:22 PM (4c71i)

52 Space Balls Movie Quote
--------------------------------
Lone Star:

Will we ever see each other again? Yogurt:
Who knows? God willing, we'll all meet again in Spaceballs II: The Search for More Money.

Posted by: American Dawg at January 24, 2013 02:22 PM (trA4n)

53
Didn't Anakin use a lightsabre to kill a bunch of kid Jedis? Something must be done!
Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney

Chris Christie as Jabba the Hut.

Actually, come to think of it....

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at January 24, 2013 02:22 PM (kdS6q)

54 >>>Now imagine a Nicholas Meyer Star Wars movie..... Now imagine a Russ Meyer Star Wars movie..... fify

Posted by: Dr. Varno at January 24, 2013 02:23 PM (OzEdP)

55 "44 If there's one thing I've learned, it's that things can always get worse. Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at January 24, 2013 06:19 PM (CHnHn) Yes.... don't tempt me.... I take it as a challenge... Posted by: Fate at January 24, 2013 06:21 PM (lZBBB) " :-)

Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at January 24, 2013 02:24 PM (CHnHn)

56 Of course, the company did hire the team and let the team make good decisions. So that's something. Disney pretty much did that with Pixar, too, although Pixar was a separate entity.

Posted by: AmishDude at January 24, 2013 02:24 PM (xSegX)

57 Isn't this the same guy that makes the tank?

Posted by: Truck Monkey at January 24, 2013 02:24 PM (jucos)

58 So how many times will the writers and Abrams allow the phrase "I've a bad feeling about this" permeate the new movie? That will truly show how slavish an homage it is.

So will Matt Damon play the older Luke Skywalker?

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at January 24, 2013 02:24 PM (Mj6r9)

59 My worry is that the movie universe will come across as "small". The new Star Trek felt confined, somehow. One thing Lucas always did well was make the events appear to happen in a wider world of stuff going on all around. I guess that is due to the heavy use of background activity in the scenery.

Also, I think Abrams may skew a little too young and "it" with his casting decisions.

ps. - A BIG reason the prequels didn't resonate is that the princibal actors have dull on-screen personas. Both Ewan McGregor and N. Portman lack charisma is everything I've seem them in.

Posted by: Serious Cat at January 24, 2013 02:24 PM (UypUQ)

60 Didn't Anakin use a lightsabre to kill a bunch of kid Jedis? Something must be done!

Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at January 24, 2013 06:21 PM (CHnHn)

Well... they did Dis Arm his Son... soooo...

Posted by: Obi Won Kidi Wa Didi, of the Disco Dancing Knights at January 24, 2013 02:24 PM (lZBBB)

61
From Mr. Struzan's fb.

MisunderstoodÂ…

A couple of friends at Disney were fantasizing about the new STAR WARS movies.

"Disney" has said nothing to me and I expect nothing. That a couple of friends were wishing is only an expression of the hope that many are sharing but says nothing regarding the Studio itself. Even if 'they' did ask, which Disney has not, I'd rather leave the new films to the next generation to interpret. I've had my time and they were exceptional blessings for which I will forever be grateful.

Tomorrow is a new dayÂ…drew

Posted by: Rev Dr. E Buzz Yannoglanchie at January 24, 2013 02:25 PM (ApGOC)

62 Seth Green's Robot Chicken Star Wars?

Posted by: Brian in New Orleans at January 24, 2013 02:25 PM (llljM)

63 what's star wars?

Posted by: Jones in CO at January 24, 2013 02:25 PM (8sCoq)

64 the only important question about this story is "who cares?"

Posted by: redc1c4 at January 24, 2013 02:25 PM (8MasJ)

65 I'd kind of like to see the old Luke, Han and Leia barreling around in the Milenium Falcon again.

Posted by: Tuna at January 24, 2013 02:25 PM (M/TDA)

66 MATT DAMON!

Posted by: Matt Damon at January 24, 2013 02:25 PM (ZKzrr)

67 Whedon did Alien 4? Yeah, I guess he can do a pretty good job of fucking up.

Posted by: Burn the Witch at January 24, 2013 02:25 PM (4c71i)

68 Joss Wheadon Star Wars:

Young Girly Girl discovers her secret powerz and beats up all them mean, nasty empire guys who love them some rapey-rape.

Posted by: weft cut-loop [/i] [/b] at January 24, 2013 02:25 PM (xz0nG)

69 The bar scene in Star Trek was extremely starwars-ish, IMO.

Posted by: Serious Cat at January 24, 2013 02:26 PM (UypUQ)

Posted by: Serious Cat at January 24, 2013 06:24 PM (UypUQ)

Yeah... the whole 'make someone who has not even graduated the Academy' the XO... and then Captain???

Wuh????

Posted by: Romeo13 who spent too many years at sea at January 24, 2013 02:26 PM (lZBBB)

71
Portman lack charisma is everything I've seem them in.
Posted by: Serious Cat

Woman actually managed to make a lesbian scene with Mila Kunis dull.

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at January 24, 2013 02:27 PM (kdS6q)

72 those knocking JJ for LOST should realize he was hands off essentially after the pilot. cuse and lindelof essentially made it up as they went along.

Posted by: snoop dogg's index finger at January 24, 2013 02:28 PM (OqeDl)

Posted by: Tuna at January 24, 2013 06:25 PM (M/TDA)

Yeah... but I don't know if my AARP card is good in Space....

Posted by: Carrie Fisher at January 24, 2013 02:28 PM (lZBBB)

74 >>>Chris Christie as Jabba the Hut.

Cheesah beecha wonky Paul Ryan.

Posted by: MikeTheMoose Offering Moobats Gasoline and Matches at January 24, 2013 02:29 PM (0q2P7)

75 70 He completed his Captain's degree online.

Posted by: Tuna at January 24, 2013 02:29 PM (M/TDA)

76 "72 those knocking JJ for LOST should realize he was hands off essentially after the pilot. cuse and lindelof essentially made it up as they went along. Posted by: snoop dogg's index finger at January 24, 2013 06:28 PM (OqeDl) " I don't think anyone mentioned lost.

Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at January 24, 2013 02:29 PM (CHnHn)

I liked his Star Trek, but I may have been overly influenced by Chris Pine's yumminess.

I liked it as well, but would have loved it without Leonard Nimoy. It just didn't seem to work properly.

But I'm sure Zoe Saldana's smokin' hotness has nothing to do with any of it.

Posted by: Lurking Canuck at January 24, 2013 02:30 PM (0WLla)

78 I agree on the Natalie Portman criticism...why the hell did they put her in Thor?...she's a terrible actress.

Posted by: CanaDave at January 24, 2013 02:30 PM (aWb7O)

79 I read that headline as JJ Setting at first. Wait. You didn't like MI I? Two words. Elizabeth Beart. Ouch. Now I can go read the comments.

Posted by: teej at January 24, 2013 02:31 PM (4Zmpq)

80 'Lost' was "write as you go", which makes for lotsa plot turns but sh*tty writing

"Kate" had nice freckles, though--and ta-tas

Posted by: sierra five at January 24, 2013 02:31 PM (Dll6b)

81 J.J. Abrams.. the creative mind behind Lost. The biggest hoax every perpetrated on the television audience.

Posted by: jewells45 at January 24, 2013 02:31 PM (u25eL)

82 As long as they put the Wilhelm Scream in, I'll be happy.

Posted by: Burn the Witch at January 24, 2013 02:31 PM (4c71i)

83 will goofy be the next jarjar binx ?

HELL YEA !!! goofy kicks ass and makes luke look like a liberal pussy..oh..wait... every one makes luke look like a liberal pussy !!

(off topic) the media will be liberal (socialist) forever unless we get the commies out of our schools or dont hire journolists out of collage !
they should just hire rons and ronettes.

I denounce myself

Posted by: alec at January 24, 2013 02:31 PM (usWYv)

84 NERDS. All of you.

Posted by: CAC at January 24, 2013 02:32 PM (GdFam)

85 78 I agree on the Natalie Portman criticism...why the hell did they put her in Thor?...she's a terrible actress.

What in the world are you talking about? She's a fantastic actress!

Posted by: emotionless monotone robots everywhere at January 24, 2013 02:32 PM (HI6wa)

86 NERDS. All of you.

You got a problem with that?

Posted by: Blanco Basura at January 24, 2013 02:33 PM (xKC/c)

87 Since the Abrams Kirk was banging an Orion slave girl, will his Luke be banging a Twi'lek? Or will he bring in Zahn's Mara Jade?

And pay no attention to Admiral Ackbar as he screeches 'Its a trap!!' while President Leia Organa-Solo serves sushi to her guests.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at January 24, 2013 02:33 PM (Mj6r9)

88 Set it in the Farscape universe...Budongs!

Posted by: @PurpAv at January 24, 2013 02:33 PM (GlnE7)

89 "84 NERDS. All of you. Posted by: CAC at January 24, 2013 06:32 PM (GdFam) " Well played, CAC. Well played.

Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at January 24, 2013 02:33 PM (CHnHn)

90 What was that other movie he directed.. about the monster that attacks New York? Using the jiggly camera?? Jesus... I wanted to walk out of that one.

Posted by: jewells45 at January 24, 2013 02:33 PM (u25eL)

91 NERDS. All of you.

We have news for the beautiful people. There's a lot more of us then there are of you. I know there's alumni here tonight. When you went to Adams you might've been called a spazz, or a dork, or a geek. Any of you that have ever felt stepped on, left out, picked on, put down, whether you think you're a nerd or not, why don't you just come down here and join us. Okay? Come on.

Posted by: HeatherRadish™ needs a beer at January 24, 2013 02:34 PM (ZKzrr)

92 I like the idea of an old Luke, Leia and Han showing their kids how to get things done.

Posted by: Tuna at January 24, 2013 02:34 PM (M/TDA)

93 >>>As long as they put the Wilhelm Scream in, I'll be happy. I'm really tired of that. I think it was NOT in John Carter (just saw it again), and I appreciated its absence. I thought I heard it a little but then it turned out not to be a Wilhelm Scream, I think.* * It's a little hard to tell because there are like five or six Wilhelm Screams, not just the one that most people are most familiar with.

Posted by: ace at January 24, 2013 02:34 PM (LCRYB)

94 Cloverfield in shaky-cam.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at January 24, 2013 02:34 PM (Mj6r9)

95 First three were fun ? One was fun . Two was epic . And three had moments of fun .The ewoks needed to go . I mean really , the EMPIRE had problems fighting Teddy Bears that were two flints short of the bronze age . Instead of R and D for a second death star that was easier to blowup than the first death star , couldn't the EMPIRE spend a few Sith dollars on stormtrooper training .P.S. H. Beam Piper still wants his money for those Ewoks .

Posted by: DrDrill at January 24, 2013 02:34 PM (sOFZs)

96 >>>"Kate" had nice freckles, though--and ta-tas

Kate annoyed me every time she opened her damn mouth.

Posted by: MikeTheMoose Offering Moobats Gasoline and Matches at January 24, 2013 02:34 PM (0q2P7)

97 I dont care what they do as long as Johnny Depp is NOT IN IT,Yeeeaaaaarrrrgggg!

Posted by: Rich K at January 24, 2013 02:35 PM (X4l3T)

98 Ahh.. thank you Anna. The premise of the movie was great.. that damn camera though.. total turn off for me.

Posted by: jewells45 at January 24, 2013 02:35 PM (u25eL)

99 I'm not a johnny depp fan at all but I kinda want to see The Lone Ranger...* * but I always want to see every remake of a classic hero.

Posted by: ace at January 24, 2013 02:35 PM (LCRYB)

100 >>>NERDS. All of you.

>>>Posted by: CAC at January 24, 2013 06:32 PM (GdFam)

Says the dude who catches wood from the daily trackers.

Posted by: MikeTheMoose Offering Moobats Gasoline and Matches at January 24, 2013 02:36 PM (0q2P7)

101

Uh...so will they be going forward in time with the new Star Wars movies?

Episode 7?

Or will they be making prequels...of the prequels.

Posted by: wheatie at January 24, 2013 02:36 PM (fH4X9)

102 88 Love "Farscape ". Ben Browder was a dreamboat.

Posted by: Tuna at January 24, 2013 02:36 PM (M/TDA)

103 >>>* but I always want to see every remake of a classic hero.

I'm always skeptical. Hollywood has been so creative in the past 10 years specifically in how to fuck up a good thing.

Posted by: MikeTheMoose Offering Moobats Gasoline and Matches at January 24, 2013 02:37 PM (0q2P7)

104 Fuzzy Sapiens Zarathustra were approximately knee high. And had ultrasonic hearing and vocal apparatus. And needed Hokfusine to even safely get pregnant and deliver new kids.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at January 24, 2013 02:37 PM (Mj6r9)

105 You know who else annoys me? Rick's wife in Walking Dead. Jesus.. NO SPOILERS!! I just started season 3. Awesome show.. but she's an annoying bitch.

Posted by: jewells45 at January 24, 2013 02:37 PM (u25eL)

106 The first Star Wars movie was the climax. It went down from there.

I don't care how many iterations of Star Wars there will be, the magic is done and gone. Was New Coke better than or even competitive with Coke? Top marketing couldn't even salvage that. A different director, producer, studio, etc. will not recreate the spectacle that was Star Wars.

Besides, you know they'll stick in an Ewok or Jar-Jar analogue so they can sell toys after the movie tanks. For some reason they like to insert suicide pills into the production.

Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at January 24, 2013 02:37 PM (eHIJJ)

107 >>>h...so will they be going forward in time with the new Star Wars movies? Episode 7? forward. Luke and Leia and even Han will be in it (played by the same actors). Luke, presumably, will be Head Yoda at Jedi Camp. but from what I understand from Assorted Nerds, if you go back far enough into the "Old Republic" age, it's a good setting for stuff. Basically you just don't have all the crap Vader baggage, but you still have lasers and robots and the Force.

Posted by: ace at January 24, 2013 02:38 PM (LCRYB)

108 "104 Fuzzy Sapiens Zarathustra were approximately knee high. And had ultrasonic hearing and vocal apparatus. And needed Hokfusine to even safely get pregnant and deliver new kids. Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at January 24, 2013 06:37 PM (Mj6r9) " Was?

Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at January 24, 2013 02:38 PM (CHnHn)

109 wheatie.. this should be the last 3 of the trilogy. The original started in the middle, then they did the 3 prequels.

Posted by: jewells45 at January 24, 2013 02:38 PM (u25eL)

110 101
hopefully they will make the one we all waited 25 years to see
cuz they missed that one ... way missed that one

Posted by: alec at January 24, 2013 02:38 PM (usWYv)

111 "I'm really tired of that. I think it was NOT in John Carter (just saw it again), and I appreciated its absence." How else are you going to stay entertained while watching it in the theater if the movies turn out to suck?

Posted by: Burn the Witch at January 24, 2013 02:38 PM (4c71i)

112 >>>I'm always skeptical. Hollywood has been so creative in the past 10 years specifically in how to fuck up a good thing. well sure their track record is horrifying but that just proves THEY'RE DUE!!!

Posted by: ace at January 24, 2013 02:38 PM (LCRYB)

113 American Dawg at January 24, 2013 06:22 PM (trA4n)

I do love Mel Brooks!

Posted by: Grandma Mimi at January 24, 2013 02:39 PM (ko0I/)

114 NERDS. All of you. >>>Posted by: CAC at January 24, 2013 06:32 PM (GdFam) Says the dude who catches wood from the daily trackers. Posted by: MikeTheMoose Offering Moobats Gasoline and Matches at January 24, 2013 06:36 PM (0q2P7) If I were writing fan-fiction about Gallup and dressing up as my favorite bald incarnation of Scott Rasmussen, yes. I like numbers. Not living in (and later criticizing all the various discrepencies of) fantasyland.

Posted by: CAC at January 24, 2013 02:39 PM (GdFam)

115 Kate annoyed me every time she opened her damn mouth.

Posted by: MikeTheMoose Offering Moobats Gasoline and Matches at January 24, 2013 06:34 PM (0q2P7)

hmmm--don't remember mentioning her dialog

Posted by: sierra five at January 24, 2013 02:40 PM (Dll6b)

116 "114 NERDS. All of you. >>>Posted by: CAC at January 24, 2013 06:32 PM (GdFam) Says the dude who catches wood from the daily trackers. Posted by: MikeTheMoose Offering Moobats Gasoline and Matches at January 24, 2013 06:36 PM (0q2P7) If I were writing fan-fiction about Gallup and dressing up as my favorite bald incarnation of Scott Rasmussen, yes. I like numbers. Not living in (and later criticizing all the various discrepencies of) fantasyland. Posted by: CAC at January 24, 2013 06:39 PM (GdFam) " Numbers are abstractions. Platonic objects. Shadows.

Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at January 24, 2013 02:41 PM (CHnHn)

117 Any other news on the next Superman reboot? I thought the trailer looked pretty damn good, but then again, I'm pretty low brow when it comes to movies.

Posted by: Burn the Witch at January 24, 2013 02:41 PM (4c71i)

118 Young Girly Girl discovers her secret powerz and beats up all them mean, nasty empire guys who love them some rapey-rape.

Posted by: weft cut-loop at January 24, 2013 06:25 PM (xz0nG

But with lightsabers!

Posted by: ConservativeMonster at January 24, 2013 02:41 PM (NmR1a)

119 Meh. Star Wars is already dead to me...

Posted by: The Political Hat at January 24, 2013 02:42 PM (Vk2pI)

120 I wish the Prequels ended up with early speculation of Obi Wan played by Kenneth Brannagh and Anakin played by Leonardo DiCaprio. You are almost guaranteed to have an engaging movie with those two pros.

Posted by: Serious Cat at January 24, 2013 02:42 PM (UypUQ)

121 Granted, that's not what Plato would have thought. To him the Platonic objects would have been more real than material reality.

Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at January 24, 2013 02:42 PM (CHnHn)

122 Meanwhile James Cameron will make his Avatard sequels and let Battle Angel Alita just wither away.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at January 24, 2013 02:42 PM (Mj6r9)

123 Setting = Sefton. Phuking fone wouldn't spell Sefton?

Posted by: teej at January 24, 2013 02:43 PM (M79pc)

124 "I like numbers. Not living in (and later criticizing all the various discrepencies of) fantasyland. Posted by: CAC at January 24, 2013 06:39 PM (GdFam)" And how is this substantially different than your electoral analysis?

Posted by: Burn the Witch at January 24, 2013 02:43 PM (4c71i)

125 "122 Meanwhile James Cameron will make his Avatard sequels and let Battle Angel Alita just wither away. Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at January 24, 2013 06:42 PM (Mj6r9) " I'm glad I never saw Avatar.

Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at January 24, 2013 02:43 PM (CHnHn)

126 Star Wars VII: Honey I Shrunk The Wookie

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at January 24, 2013 02:43 PM (QKKT0)

127

Well...didn't Lucas originally plan to do another 3-film trilogy, picking up after Episode 6?

I think I read that somewhere.

Posted by: wheatie at January 24, 2013 02:44 PM (fH4X9)

128 59 Both Ewan McGregor and N. Portman lack charisma is everything I've seem them in.

McGregor was good in Emma and Miss Potter.

Posted by: 80sBaby at January 24, 2013 02:44 PM (YjDyJ)

129 What in the world are you talking about? She's a fantastic actress!

Posted by: emotionless monotone robots everywhere

She was inspirational

Posted by: Hayden Christensen at January 24, 2013 02:44 PM (0WLla)

130 123 Autocorrect is a sneaky little bastard.

Posted by: Tuna at January 24, 2013 02:44 PM (M/TDA)

131 uh...just got a robo call from a conservative organization claiming harry reid just bullied the sen GOP to change the rules of filibustering and something about only requiring a simple majority to pass bills in the senate.....uh.......speechless.....if the GOP can be bullied like that well....i don't know what to say

Posted by: phoenixgirl waiting for spring training at January 24, 2013 02:45 PM (GVxQo)

132 >>>Well...didn't Lucas originally plan to do another 3-film trilogy, picking up after Episode 6? yes lucas claimed that for years -- that he had NINE movies ready to shoot. It was a lie. he confessed that later. I think when we saw the first prequel we knew it was a lie.

Posted by: ace at January 24, 2013 02:45 PM (LCRYB)

133 "Leonardo DiCaprio. You are almost guaranteed to have an engaging movie with those two pros." Leo? The guy who can't play a convincing adult character? I guess that works for Anakin.

Posted by: Burn the Witch at January 24, 2013 02:45 PM (4c71i)

134 Wheatie, yeah Lucas had dreams of 9 movies. Was only able to sell the middle three. And General Skywalker became this rural hayseed on a desert planet. Thus was born the franchise that Lucas managed to squander.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at January 24, 2013 02:45 PM (Mj6r9)

135 the cave in 'Lost' was a Platonic metaphor

or, according to the genius writers, a mistake because the audience wanted to see the ocean

Posted by: sierra five at January 24, 2013 02:45 PM (Dll6b)

136 Abrams is awful.Anything he does will be the suxxor.

Posted by: steevy at January 24, 2013 02:46 PM (9XBK2)

137 And here is one of the movies that Lucas heavily cribbed to even create Star Wars - The Hidden Fortress.
http://youtu.be/ZW5e0vQwKMk

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at January 24, 2013 02:47 PM (Mj6r9)

138 "132 >>>Well...didn't Lucas originally plan to do another 3-film trilogy, picking up after Episode 6? yes lucas claimed that for years -- that he had NINE movies ready to shoot. It was a lie. he confessed that later. I think when we saw the first prequel we knew it was a lie. Posted by: ace at January 24, 2013 06:45 PM (LCRYB) " Lukeass.

Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at January 24, 2013 02:47 PM (CHnHn)

139 I got nothin for this thread but...Zombies.

Posted by: Czar of the otherworlds at January 24, 2013 02:47 PM (XLuH2)

140 >>>Wheatie, yeah Lucas had dreams of 9 movies. Was only able to sell the middle three. And General Skywalker became this rural hayseed on a desert planet. Thus was born the franchise that Lucas managed to squander. this was all a lie.

Posted by: ace at January 24, 2013 02:47 PM (LCRYB)

141 With the Empire gone, what's left to do in Episode 7?

Will the taxation of trade routes come into dispute again?

Posted by: Waterhouse at January 24, 2013 02:47 PM (oNzjW)

142 135 Prometheus was written by one of the Lost writers.As soon as I heard that I knew it would suck.

Posted by: steevy at January 24, 2013 02:47 PM (9XBK2)

143 wait and..Jabba!

Posted by: Czar of the otherworlds at January 24, 2013 02:48 PM (XLuH2)

144 >>>hmmm--don't remember mentioning her dialog

Well it just ruined it for me. I'm not into imagining girls wearing gags. And that would be the only way I could convince myself to get within earshot of that self obsessed whiner.

Posted by: MikeTheMoose Offering Moobats Gasoline and Matches at January 24, 2013 02:48 PM (0q2P7)

145 J.J. Abrams got his start as a musical director for the absolutely awful Nightbeast, a sequel to the equally awful Alien Factor. His early credits couldn't have been worse if he was the director of Troll 2.

Posted by: CAC at January 24, 2013 02:49 PM (GdFam)

146 141 Imperial splinter groups and clones of the Emperor.

Posted by: steevy at January 24, 2013 02:49 PM (9XBK2)

147 I didn't care for the JJ Abrams Star Trek movie myself. Using the "time-travel-rewrites history" thing is an incredibly lazy way of avoiding having to deal with an existing universe; doing it just to shoe-horn in all the characters makes it worse.

They could have easily kept the continuity by making one change: the movie was just about Kirk meeting Spock for the first time. That way, when Pike retired from the Enterprise, Spock could suggest Kirk as the new captain. Blah blah blah fanboy blah.

But no, we had to have every damned character in there. Just like, oh, I dunno, the Star Wars prequels.

Would JJ Abrams decide that the whole Star Wars universe should be undone? I doubt Disney would all THAT to happen.

Posted by: BeckoningChasm at January 24, 2013 02:49 PM (xjpRj)

148 Ace, I stand corrected then. Lucas has even edited his own memories to say he always meant for Greedo to shoot first.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at January 24, 2013 02:49 PM (Mj6r9)

149 >>>I think when we saw the first prequel we knew it was a lie.

I figured it out when I saw it the second time. Somehow the suxxor didn't hit me on the first viewing.

Posted by: MikeTheMoose Offering Moobats Gasoline and Matches at January 24, 2013 02:49 PM (0q2P7)

150 With the Empire gone, what's left to do in Episode 7?

Giant killer insects and coed showers?

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at January 24, 2013 02:49 PM (QKKT0)

151

The original actors for Luke, Leia and Han are getting pretty long in the tooth these days...

So they will have to write some new characters, like kids of Leia and Han...in order to have some younger actors in the production.

Geez...I hope they don't use Shia Leboef...for anything.

Posted by: wheatie at January 24, 2013 02:50 PM (fH4X9)

152 In Episodes 4 or 5, why didn't R2 tell Luke that Darth Vader was his father? In episode 3 only C3PO's memory was wiped.

Posted by: Nerd at January 24, 2013 02:50 PM (SwjAj)

153 Meanwhile James Cameron will make his Avatard sequels and let Battle Angel Alita just wither away. Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at January 24, 2013 06:42 PM (Mj6r9) Considering what he's done with Avatar... it's probably a good thing he isn't screwing up Battle Angel Alita...

Posted by: 政治的な帽子 at January 24, 2013 02:50 PM (Vk2pI)

154 The first step to doing a new Star Wars movie is to not seek any advice from George Lucas or notes of his planned sequels.

Posted by: Buzzion at January 24, 2013 02:51 PM (Xx8hz)

155 steevey, then might as well use Zahn's books with Admiral Thrawn for a basis. Though the prequels negated part of what Zahn wrote - Spazzi chambers and the clones from those chambers gave off a mental static that annoyed the Jedi.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at January 24, 2013 02:51 PM (Mj6r9)

156 He also made Alias which had a good first 2-1/2 seasons before it got all weird and Lost-ish.

Posted by: Gristle Encased Head at January 24, 2013 02:51 PM (+lsX1)

157 141 How about a really menacing outside menace?

Posted by: Tuna at January 24, 2013 02:51 PM (M/TDA)

158 When Disney releases the original, restored, un-bastardized trilogy on Blu-ray, they will have my money. Until then: don't care.

Posted by: Sandra Fluke's solid gold diaphragm at January 24, 2013 02:51 PM (7xeJQ)

159 152 R2 is a perverted little punk,thats why.

Posted by: steevy at January 24, 2013 02:51 PM (9XBK2)

160 I wonder if the Rebels and remnants of the Empire will be forced to team up to fight an outside threat (from another Galaxy?).

It might actually be interesting if one of the protagonists was from another Galaxy altogether, and thus everything in Star Wars universe was new and alien to him/her.

Posted by: Serious Cat at January 24, 2013 02:51 PM (UypUQ)

161 "148 Ace, I stand corrected then. Lucas has even edited his own memories to say he always meant for Greedo to shoot first. Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at January 24, 2013 06:49 PM (Mj6r9) " And, perhaps in Lucas's dreams, Greedo really does shoot first. cough

Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at January 24, 2013 02:51 PM (CHnHn)

162 As long as Lucas has final call on the script we should be fine.

Posted by: Dr Spank at January 24, 2013 02:51 PM (4cRnj)

163

Prometheus was written by one of the Lost writers.As soon as I heard that I knew it would suck.

The original script/treatment/whatever (I believe it was linked here), seemed pretty solid when I skimmed through it. Of course the final result was le suck.

Not sure who did what to it when though.

Posted by: Lurking Canuck at January 24, 2013 02:52 PM (0WLla)

164 The prequels have elevated Howard the Duck into being a Lucas masterpiece.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at January 24, 2013 02:52 PM (Mj6r9)

165 ffs....pixy's really fucking with me today.

Posted by: Lurking Canuck at January 24, 2013 02:52 PM (0WLla)

166 The original actors for Luke, Leia and Han are getting pretty long in the tooth these days...

Star Wars VII: Han and Leia Get A Reverse Mortgage

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at January 24, 2013 02:52 PM (QKKT0)

167 I wonder if he'll let Lucas' retarded nephew write the script for this movie too.

Posted by: Gristle Encased Head at January 24, 2013 02:53 PM (+lsX1)

168 "151 The original actors for Luke, Leia and Han are getting pretty long in the tooth these days... So they will have to write some new characters, like kids of Leia and Han...in order to have some younger actors in the production. Geez...I hope they don't use Shia Leboef...for anything. Posted by: wheatie at January 24, 2013 06:50 PM (fH4X9) " Yeah. No Leboef. But maybe some Megan. And giant robots. But with a plot this time.

Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at January 24, 2013 02:53 PM (CHnHn)

169 >>Star Wars VII: Han and Leia Get A Reverse Mortgage

And a HurryCane lightsabre.

Posted by: Nerd at January 24, 2013 02:53 PM (SwjAj)

170 Perhaps the Transformers Galaxy will invade Star Wars?

Posted by: Serious Cat at January 24, 2013 02:53 PM (UypUQ)

171 "152 In Episodes 4 or 5, why didn't R2 tell Luke that Darth Vader was his father? In episode 3 only C3PO's memory was wiped. Posted by: Nerd at January 24, 2013 06:50 PM (SwjAj) " Because R2D2 is a prick.

Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at January 24, 2013 02:54 PM (CHnHn)

172 >>>Would JJ Abrams decide that the whole Star Wars universe should be undone? I doubt Disney would all THAT to happen.

The Star Trek universe had just too much cannon. It was substantially limiting the available plots. The forest had to be burned so new trees could grow.

Posted by: MikeTheMoose Offering Moobats Gasoline and Matches at January 24, 2013 02:54 PM (0q2P7)

173 "They could have easily kept the continuity by making one change: the movie was just about Kirk meeting Spock for the first time. That way, when Pike retired from the Enterprise, Spock could suggest Kirk as the new captain." Sounds exciting!!

Posted by: Burn the Witch at January 24, 2013 02:54 PM (4c71i)

174 Aliens v Star Wars

Posted by: Tuna at January 24, 2013 02:54 PM (M/TDA)

175 There is one thing I hope JJ Abrams and the writers don't do - the flickering blue Force images of Yoda, Anakin, and Obi-Wan. Let them ascend and become part of the All. Please!

Can you imagine if you are Luke and you finally discover a nice girl who isn't your sister. And Obi-Wan pops in during the middle of things.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at January 24, 2013 02:54 PM (Mj6r9)

176 huh. never noticed the lens flare thing before.
guess I'll have to re-watch Star Trek and be on the lookout for it.

Posted by: chemjeff at January 24, 2013 02:55 PM (cnS/d)

177 163 From what I read it was at first going to be a straight up Alien prequel.Than Scott changed his mind and decided on a new trilogy of suck.Perhaps he than brought in the Lost writer to cram shit into the script.

Posted by: steevy at January 24, 2013 02:55 PM (9XBK2)

178

166 The original actors for Luke, Leia and Han are getting pretty long in the tooth these days...

Star Wars VII: Han and Leia Get A Reverse Mortgage

------------

Han is taking Cialis...and he and Leia are arguing about where to position their his and her bathtubs.

Luke has a hover-scooter, to get around in his house.

Posted by: wheatie at January 24, 2013 02:55 PM (fH4X9)

179 Well.. it will be interesting to see what he comes up with but nothing will ever capture the magic of the original three.

Posted by: jewells45 at January 24, 2013 02:55 PM (u25eL)

180 175 They can watch him without being visible.And they can fap.

Posted by: steevy at January 24, 2013 02:56 PM (9XBK2)

181 Abrams should steal the villains from Babylon Five, they had cool ships.

Posted by: Dr Spank at January 24, 2013 02:56 PM (4cRnj)

182 Dr Spank: "As long as Lucas has final call on the script we should be fine."

Now THAT'S high quality snark, I don't care who ya' are.

Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at January 24, 2013 02:56 PM (eHIJJ)

183 MikeTheMoose, if Paramount has been willing to let Captain Hikaru Sulu aboard Excelsior lead one movie with the likes of Christian Slater as back up. It could have spawned new growth. But Paramount has definite rules - must focus on the crew of Enterprise is the Prime Directive.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at January 24, 2013 02:57 PM (Mj6r9)

184 Anyways... I'm jsut glad Peter Jackson is not attached to this... his stuff to me comes across as self-indulgent run-on-plots.

Posted by: Serious Cat at January 24, 2013 02:57 PM (UypUQ)

185 More Hollyweird BS for me to happily ignore.

Hey, you know that political party you all disdain so vigorously? And that guy at the head of that party? What's that you call him again? SCOAMF?

When you give money to Hollyweird, where does a lot of it go?

To those selfsame people and party you don't care for. To that SCOAMF fellow.

I don't care for them either. That's why I don't give Hollyweird any money.

Posted by: torquewrench at January 24, 2013 02:57 PM (gqT4g)

186 >>>152 In Episodes 4 or 5, why didn't R2 tell Luke that Darth Vader was his father? In episode 3 only C3PO's memory was wiped.

Because of their high intelligence it was standard practice to periodically wipe Astro Droids because otherwise they would get snippy and constantly second guess you. It would be unlikely that R2 would go 16 years without a wipe. If he did he would have been savvy enough to know that telling Luke the truth wasn't helpful.

Posted by: MikeTheMoose Offering Moobats Gasoline and Matches at January 24, 2013 02:57 PM (0q2P7)

187 Han and Leia send their kids to some kind of remote boarding school where they learn the ways of the force and chase monsters and evil people all over a big castle.

Posted by: Pug Mahon at January 24, 2013 02:57 PM (K+mtQ)

188 171 Ha!See my 159.

Posted by: steevy at January 24, 2013 02:57 PM (9XBK2)

189 Star Wars VII: Luke tests out new reusable catheter technology

Posted by: Burn the Witch at January 24, 2013 02:58 PM (4c71i)

190 "175 There is one thing I hope JJ Abrams and the writers don't do - the flickering blue Force images of Yoda, Anakin, and Obi-Wan. Let them ascend and become part of the All. Please! Can you imagine if you are Luke and you finally discover a nice girl who isn't your sister. And Obi-Wan pops in during the middle of things. Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at January 24, 2013 06:54 PM (Mj6r9) " Yeah. I never got that whole sister thing. If Lucas had it all planned out, what the fuck?

Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at January 24, 2013 02:58 PM (CHnHn)

191 "176 huh. never noticed the lens flare thing before. guess I'll have to re-watch Star Trek and be on the lookout for it. Posted by: chemjeff at January 24, 2013 06:55 PM (cnS/d) " Don't rewatch Star Trek.

Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at January 24, 2013 02:59 PM (CHnHn)

192 Of course the original had technology we had never seen before. I will never forget going to see the first one and being absolutely blown away by the special effects.

Posted by: jewells45 at January 24, 2013 02:59 PM (u25eL)

193 Wait a minute....

Han and Leia's kids are on their way to get Jedi training from their Uncle Luke on Tatoonie. When they pick up a strange distress signal coming from a planet completely covered in clouds. And they must wear Italian styled motorcycle leathers. And then land on the shore of this beautiful bay.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at January 24, 2013 02:59 PM (Mj6r9)

194

I hope this next one is geared a bit more for grownups. Abrams has done pretty well with his TV shows.

Overall, I think he'll be an improvement over Lucas. The prequels pretty much sucked Wookie ass. Ptui!

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit. at January 24, 2013 03:00 PM (+z4pE)

195
The prequels have elevated Howard the Duck into being a Lucas masterpiece.

Lea Thompson's lingerie scene elevated that movie -- and a few other things....

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at January 24, 2013 03:00 PM (kdS6q)

196 So they will have to write some new characters, like kids of Leia and Han...in order to have some younger actors in the production.

Hey, lady! You call him Dr. Solo!

Posted by: Short Round at January 24, 2013 03:00 PM (QKKT0)

197 "185 More Hollyweird BS for me to happily ignore. Hey, you know that political party you all disdain so vigorously? And that guy at the head of that party? What's that you call him again? SCOAMF? When you give money to Hollyweird, where does a lot of it go? To those selfsame people and party you don't care for. To that SCOAMF fellow. I don't care for them either. That's why I don't give Hollyweird any money. Posted by: torquewrench at January 24, 2013 06:57 PM (gqT4g) " I don't either.

Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at January 24, 2013 03:01 PM (CHnHn)

198 Abrams is a punk. But Joss Whedon can't do everything.

Posted by: rrpjr at January 24, 2013 03:01 PM (Pfuur)

199 Our discussion here isn't giving "Hollyweird" any money.

Posted by: steevy at January 24, 2013 03:02 PM (9XBK2)

200 MUMR no I kinda liked the new Star Trek. It wasn't canon but it was still kinda interesting.

Posted by: chemjeff at January 24, 2013 03:02 PM (cnS/d)

201 "188 171 Ha!See my 159. Posted by: steevy at January 24, 2013 06:57 PM (9XBK2) " :-)

Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at January 24, 2013 03:02 PM (CHnHn)

202

Star Wars VII

Luke develops a smaller Hovercraft for the home called the Hoveround.

The family's miniature Bantha gets underneath it and is cooked to a crisp.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit. at January 24, 2013 03:02 PM (+z4pE)

203 Luke, "Ever since the XP-38 came out, these Hoverounds are worthless."

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at January 24, 2013 03:03 PM (Mj6r9)

204 "199 MUMR no I kinda liked the new Star Trek. It wasn't canon but it was still kinda interesting. Posted by: chemjeff at January 24, 2013 07:02 PM (cnS/d) " What was interesting about it? How dull it was?

Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at January 24, 2013 03:03 PM (CHnHn)

205

Can you imagine if you are Luke and you finally discover a nice girl who isn't your sister.

Uncle Luke is in his 50's.

So that's a little too old to be 'finally discovering a nice girl'.

Posted by: wheatie at January 24, 2013 03:05 PM (fH4X9)

206 >>>MikeTheMoose, if Paramount has been willing to let Captain Hikaru Sulu aboard Excelsior lead one movie with the likes of Christian Slater as back up. It could have spawned new growth. But Paramount has definite rules - must focus on the crew of Enterprise is the Prime Directive.

Well I agree it would have been good series primer. But not good Star Trek movie primer. No principal cast of new characters in Star Trek was good and settled until they had at least 6-8 episodes under them. Paramount was already taking a risk by handing the characters over to new actors; It would have been an even larger risk if they were trying to do brand new characters, evolving in an as of yet undescribed time period of Star Trek. All the other movies used established elements so the story was central and even many of them sucked. If they'd have gone out out of the box with brand new everything, I have no doubt they would have blown it badly.

Posted by: MikeTheMoose Offering Moobats Gasoline and Matches at January 24, 2013 03:06 PM (0q2P7)

207

Uncle Luke Aqualung.

Posted by: wheatie at January 24, 2013 03:07 PM (fH4X9)

208 107 >>>h...so will they be going forward in time with the new Star Wars movies? Episode 7? forward. Luke and Leia and even Han will be in it (played by the same actors). Luke, presumably, will be Head Yoda at Jedi Camp. but from what I understand from Assorted Nerds, if you go back far enough into the "Old Republic" age, it's a good setting for stuff. Basically you just don't have all the crap Vader baggage, but you still have lasers and robots and the Force. Yeah The Knights of the Old Republic games and the Old Republic mmo are set about 4,000 years before the movies. Expanded universe writers have really taken advantage of obi wans " for a thousand generations" line.

Posted by: Buzzion at January 24, 2013 03:07 PM (Xx8hz)

209 Well, I'm sure he doesn't need advice, though it does seem ge likes inspiration--but, at any rate, remember, J.J., fighters need backseaters--calm, cool, handsome, steely-eyed, suave, smart---and who don't die or get blasted. And maybe a DeLorean...

Posted by: K. at January 24, 2013 03:07 PM (QknRf)

210 Well, seeing Kirk and Spock actually fight. That was interesting. You just knew that even in the canon series that they had to have actually had it out at some point.

I would have liked to have seen the evolution of a Kirk with a tortured soul for not having the happy home life that the canon assumes that he had. Makes it more real for me. Then again I much prefer Batman over Superman.

Posted by: chemjeff at January 24, 2013 03:08 PM (cnS/d)

211 Chemjeff, I think Operation Annihilate took care of all the angst and grief James Tomcat Kirk needed.. Plus surviving a massacre because of a famine on a planet - Conscience of the King. So it was far from idyllic his childhood.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at January 24, 2013 03:11 PM (Mj6r9)

212 160 I wonder if the Rebels and remnants of the Empire will be forced to team up to fight an outside threat (from another Galaxy?). It might actually be interesting if one of the protagonists was from another Galaxy altogether, and thus everything in Star Wars universe was new and alien to him/her. Posted by: Serious Cat at January 24, 2013 06:51 PM (UypUQ) That's the new Jedi order story arc of novels. They were called the yuzzhan vong and it was about twenty books. And the ones written after it started to go downhill quick

Posted by: Buzzion at January 24, 2013 03:17 PM (Xx8hz)

213 Hi, it's Robert Roe. Sorry this invitation is so late. The Reds Caravan will be at the Limestone Center tomorrow at 10:15 and you are cordially invited!

Posted by: Jayne Cobb's Cap at January 24, 2013 04:54 PM (afOrA)

214 You guys are numskulls. What's the "new" movie about? READ THE ORIGINAL NINE STAR WARS BOOKS. George Lucas wrote nine original Star Wars books in the 1970s. The movies are based on the books. Read the books to find out episode 7. (Hint: its about Luke in his 50s facing the Dark Side) Geez... it's like you losers speculating the ending of the Hobbit. SPOILERS in the book, the dragon dies. Just read the original damn books!

Posted by: Ted at January 24, 2013 05:11 PM (IFKXN)

215 I'm late to the party but I think Disney has a great chance to turn the Star Wars franchise around. I mean, if I had to pick one big-ass company to purchase that franchise for a few billion, it would be Disney. They know how to make big, epic adventure movies.

It's not like they can do any worse than the newest 3 Star Wars movies did. I have high hopes for this new one. But if they put Shia Lebouf in the new movie, I will go to the nearest Disney theme park and smear my own shit all over the bathroom walls. Don't do anything that stupid, please. It's not that hard to avoid screwing up such a great story.

Posted by: ElKomandante at January 24, 2013 05:26 PM (F1F27)

216

I also have high hopes for the new series(s) as they are cranked out one after another. Star Wars is the biggest and most open sandbox fantasy land out there. Literally, anything can happen and there's an entire generation's worth of film makers who would crawl over broken, flaming glass to be a part of it.

That being said, I hoipe this means that Brad Bird will get to direct Star Trek 3. And eventually a Star Wars film.

Posted by: sans_sheriff at January 24, 2013 06:25 PM (vge4w)

217 Ted is of course full of shit about nine original Star Wars books.

Posted by: Buzzion at January 24, 2013 07:07 PM (Xx8hz)

218 Has anyone seen Ace and Greg Gutfeld in the same room together? And more importantly, does Ace have a mysterious sliding bookcase and a firepole?

Posted by: BourbonChicken at January 24, 2013 07:30 PM (4Mwv/)

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