Ace of Spades HQ

April 29, 2013

Feds Charge the Anti-Elvis in Ricin Case
— Ace

Federal investigators probing who sent potentially deadly letters to President Obama, a senator and a judge believe they have the right man -- this time.
...
Shackled and in leg irons, Dutschke, 41, appeared in Federal Court in Oxford, Miss., Monday, where he was charged with "knowingly developing, producing, stockpiling, transferring, acquiring, retaining and possessing a biological agent, toxin and delivery system, for use as a weapon, to wit: ricin." He faces life in prison if convicted. Like the first suspect, he claims he is innocent.
"I'm a patriotic American," Dutschke told The Associated Press. "I don't have any grudges against anybody. ... I did not send the letters," Dutschke said.
...
Judge Holland also is a common link between the two men, and both know Wicker. Holland was the presiding judge in a 2004 case in which Curtis was accused of assaulting a Tupelo attorney a year earlier. Holland sentenced him to six months in the county jail. He served only part of the sentence, according to his brother.
Holland's family has had political skirmishes with Dutschke. Her son, Steve Holland, a Democratic state representative, said he thinks his mother's only encounter with Dutschke was at a rally in the town of Verona in 2007, when Dutschke ran as a Republican against Steve Holland.

Well there's your headline, huh?

Posted by: Ace at 08:23 AM | Comments (146)
Post contains 236 words, total size 2 kb.

1 He's a Dutschke bag.

Posted by: Regular Moron [/i] at April 29, 2013 08:24 AM (feFL6)

2 This thread is only 22% less ghey than the last.

Posted by: imp at April 29, 2013 08:24 AM (UaxA0)

3 Holds up lighter and yells "Freebird!".. oops.. I mean "In The Ghetto!"

Posted by: Chi-Town Jerry at April 29, 2013 08:25 AM (f9c2L)

4 Stockpiling ? Does this mean he crossed a RED LINE ?

Posted by: DrDrill at April 29, 2013 08:25 AM (sOFZs)

5 Did he come out as ghey yet? 'Cause that would be news.

Posted by: zsasz at April 29, 2013 08:27 AM (MMC8r)

6 In fair Verona where we lay our scene...

Any relation to Rudi Dutschke?

Posted by: HeideRadieschen at April 29, 2013 08:27 AM (/kI1Q)

7 Federal investigators probing

Where?

Posted by: Jason Collins at April 29, 2013 08:27 AM (jKWYf)

8 Republican attempts to assassinate President Obama, next on CNN.

Posted by: Washington Nearsider at April 29, 2013 08:28 AM (fwARV)

9 part of a larger conspiracy, obvously

Posted by: Bigby's OK at April 29, 2013 08:29 AM (ZdvIN)

10 He ain't nuthin' but a hound dog.

Posted by: toby928 at April 29, 2013 08:29 AM (evdj2)

11 this is just odd......

Posted by: phoenixgirl at April 29, 2013 08:29 AM (GVxQo)

12 Notice the handbehind the curtain, asenator, not a Republican Senator.

Posted by: Jean at April 29, 2013 08:29 AM (3f/jH)

13 Federal investigators probing

Where???

Area 51.

Posted by: Buzzsaw at April 29, 2013 08:29 AM (wrS2o)

14 Ace pre-emptied my Mojo Nixon sock puppet. I got nothing.

Posted by: fluffy at April 29, 2013 08:30 AM (z9HTb)

15 Pass the Dutschke.

Posted by: Musical Youth at April 29, 2013 08:30 AM (nbX4o)

16 "I'm a patriotic American," Dutschke told The Associated Press. Press will now spend 2000% more time digging up dirt on him then if he said 'I like Allah'.

Posted by: Regular Moron [/i] at April 29, 2013 08:30 AM (feFL6)

17 Thank you. Thank you very much.

Posted by: Paul Kevin Curtis at April 29, 2013 08:31 AM (evdj2)

18 the anti elvis exposed himself (read penis) to a little girl & is under investigation for molesting another little girl at his ka-rah-tay studio

Posted by: phoenixgirl at April 29, 2013 08:31 AM (GVxQo)

19 he is a bad sensai

Posted by: phoenixgirl at April 29, 2013 08:32 AM (GVxQo)

20 the anti elvis exposed himself (read penis) to a little girl & is under investigation for molesting another little girl at his ka-rah-tay studio

Posted by: phoenixgirl at April 29, 2013 12:31 PM (GVxQo)

So you're saying he's a fruit ninja?

Posted by: Washington Nearsider at April 29, 2013 08:33 AM (fwARV)

21 Wait, I thought Michael J. Fox was the Anti-Elvis?

Posted by: Brother Cavil, Septembrist at April 29, 2013 08:33 AM (fMiHM)

22 The King's Militia, composed solely of Elvis impersonators, was raided in Las Vegas NV today. Tear gas was most effective since they couldn'( fit masks over their sideburns

Posted by: Bigby's OK at April 29, 2013 08:34 AM (ZdvIN)

23 I sure hope the LEO and nurses taking care of the little terrorist shit are giving him some special treatment.

Posted by: Waldo Truth at April 29, 2013 08:34 AM (WcpwN)

24 Ever think the FBI looks at a case like this one and says "man this shit is all too fucking weird" and just tries to make it go away asap?

Posted by: Jollyroger at April 29, 2013 08:34 AM (t06LC)

25
This dude sounds like a real winner, but I am still looking for that follow-up report that says it was actually ricin.

oh, ps - boston marathon terrorism and govt failure just keeps on getting pushed away.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at April 29, 2013 08:35 AM (jKWYf)

26 I'm confused. According to the press, breaking news was that a guy in an Elvis costume was passing ricin-tinged letters out of a backpack directly to members of Congress in DC. Or something.

Posted by: DangerGirl at April 29, 2013 08:35 AM (iReEb)

27 Somebody quick draw up a spreadsheet outline to describe this to me.

He knew (but had a falling out with) the original suspect Paul Curtis, who also had dealing with the same judge as the new suspect.

And then Kevin Bacon showed up and confused the hell out of everybody. Or something.

Posted by: Hollowpoint at April 29, 2013 08:35 AM (SY2Kh)

28 Nearsider, obviously a Dingleberry fruit ninja.

Suddenly the election quest of a former Nevada ranch lady named Fondren running for mayor of Vicksburg is positively mundane.

Come on Magnolia State, leave the fruitcakes and flakes to California.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at April 29, 2013 08:35 AM (CAHhA)

29 Have they ever definitively stated that it was actually ricin in these letters? Unless I missed it, the "lab work" is taking forever.

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at April 29, 2013 08:35 AM (JDIKC)

30 Remember about 20 years ago there was the guy who was pissed off at the court system and was sending all these judges letter bombs?

Posted by: Waldo Truth at April 29, 2013 08:35 AM (WcpwN)

31 He's a Republican. He's going down whether he committed the crime or not.

Posted by: kathysaysso at April 29, 2013 08:35 AM (6H6o8)

32 Wake me up when they get to the parachuting scene.

Posted by: weft cut-loop [/i] [/b] at April 29, 2013 08:36 AM (Yr6sH)

33 He's all shook up baby...ah uh oo ooo....

//Elvis 21

Posted by: sven10077@sven10077 at April 29, 2013 08:36 AM (LRFds)

34 anybody ever seen The Foot FIst Way?

Posted by: Bigby's OK at April 29, 2013 08:36 AM (ZdvIN)

35 The King's Militia, composed solely of Elvis impersonators, was raided in Las Vegas NV today. Tear gas was most effective since they couldn'( fit masks over their sideburns

And being New Vegas, the gas masks would've just bugged out anyways.

Posted by: Hollowpoint at April 29, 2013 08:37 AM (SY2Kh)

36 32 Kathysayso,

which is the real lesson of the "Christian and democrat" bumper sticker

Posted by: sven10077@sven10077 at April 29, 2013 08:37 AM (LRFds)

37 When its a shooter/bomber, there's always a table full of guns/bomb parts on display and LE reps talking in somber tones.

The table full of killy bling seems to be missing here...I'm just saying.

Posted by: @PurpAv at April 29, 2013 08:37 AM (/gHaE)

I'm thinking that both these guys...the Elvis and the Non-Elvis should be wearing orange vests and picking up trash along some highway.

Jailhouse rock.

Posted by: Cheri at April 29, 2013 08:38 AM (G+Wff)

39 Hoosiers on ANC. I wonder if that Jimmy Chew Character was gay or a secret Elvi impersonator?

Posted by: Nevergiveup at April 29, 2013 08:38 AM (9Bj8R)

40
The footprint on the letters from a blue suede shoe was the biggest clue.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at April 29, 2013 08:38 AM (jKWYf)

41 There can be only one!

Posted by: El Kabong at April 29, 2013 08:38 AM (WjFcQ)

42 Then there was the college kid from Wisconsin who was putting bombs in people's mailboxes. Remember him? He was so goofy looking. Always smiling. He's still in the looney bin. You think after 10 years they could have medicated him into being competent for a court appearance.

Posted by: Waldo Truth at April 29, 2013 08:39 AM (WcpwN)

43 the anti elvis exposed himself (read penis) to a little girl & is under investigation for molesting another little girl at his ka-rah-tay studio Wax-on, Wax-off, Daniel-san.

Posted by: zsasz at April 29, 2013 08:39 AM (MMC8r)

44 Headline: Keystone Cops Make Arrest. Again. They think. Sort of.

Posted by: Foghorn Leghorn at April 29, 2013 08:39 AM (QNNeu)

45 it aint easy being cheesy

Posted by: Bigby's OK at April 29, 2013 08:39 AM (ZdvIN)

46 omg rape huskies you guys (link in nic)

Posted by: BlackOrchid at April 29, 2013 08:39 AM (2up3Q)

47 Methinks the real ricin culprit is laughing his ass off somewhere in the West Wing.

Posted by: mugiwara at April 29, 2013 08:39 AM (KQG9K)

48 Wax-on, Wax-off, Daniel-san.

Posted by: zsasz

***

Jacket off. (say that quickly and you'll see)

Posted by: Tilikum The Killer Assault Whale at April 29, 2013 08:40 AM (uhftQ)

49 Finally, a honky!!

Posted by: The Tolerance Brigade at MSNBC at April 29, 2013 08:40 AM (MMC8r)

50 Mugiwara, Reggie thought he was making Rice-a-roni that San Francisco treat...

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at April 29, 2013 08:40 AM (CAHhA)

51 I have a sudden urge to watch Con Air now.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD, you taunty bitch. at April 29, 2013 08:40 AM (Gk3SS)

52 There's all these Mexican Elvis' by me. You see them walking down the street. Then there is the Thai Elvis who is a regular at a local restaurant.

Posted by: Waldo Truth at April 29, 2013 08:40 AM (WcpwN)

53 @16 - exactly right.

Posted by: BeckoningChasm at April 29, 2013 08:41 AM (xjpRj)

54 How many shows a night in Vegas does this guy do?

Posted by: Wayne Newton at April 29, 2013 08:41 AM (QNNeu)

55 Hey any news from the FBI on the Anthrax Case?

Posted by: Nevergiveup at April 29, 2013 08:41 AM (9Bj8R)

56 This dude sounds like a real winner, but I am still looking for that follow-up report that says it was actually ricin. Trying to come up with a Little Rascals/Castor Oil joke & coming up empty.

Posted by: rickb223 at April 29, 2013 08:41 AM (GFM2b)

57 So finally the MFM gets their "Tea Party Terrorist."

Posted by: DangerGirl at April 29, 2013 08:41 AM (iReEb)

Meanwhile, nobody has claimed the body of black hat bomber.

Coming soon, "Weekend at Tams".

Posted by: tony redenzo at April 29, 2013 08:41 AM (Vodnq)

59 30 Have they ever definitively stated that it was actually ricin in these letters? Unless I missed it, the "lab work" is taking forever. Posted by: Empire of Jeff at April 29, 2013 12:35 PM (JDIKC) Top. Men.

Posted by: BCochran1981 at April 29, 2013 08:42 AM (da5Wo)

60 Was Honky Tonk Man available for comment?

Posted by: El Kabong at April 29, 2013 08:42 AM (WjFcQ)

61 I have a sudden urge to watch Con Air now.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD, you taunty bitch. at April 29, 2013 12:40 PM (Gk3SS)

I have a a sudden urge to watch Bubba Ho-Tep now.

Posted by: EC at April 29, 2013 08:42 AM (GQ8sn)

62 Hey any news from the FBI on the Anthrax Case? We've narrowed it down to all white people.

Posted by: J. Napolitano at April 29, 2013 08:42 AM (MMC8r)

63
He's white and obviously guilty of mailing me rice'an.

Posted by: Bronco Bama at April 29, 2013 08:42 AM (1lQzY)

I wish I had faith that this guy wasn't being railroaded. He's another Mohammed video type guy, somebody nobody likes, and is conveniently present for the scapegoating.

Posted by: BurtTC at April 29, 2013 08:42 AM (TOk1P)

65 Thank God the Ewok is here! I had a rotten weekend with sick hubby, crankypants daughter, and the boy spawn with his senior prom drama. Add in sinus misery and shitty weather and it all adds up to I NEED SOME ACE!!!

Posted by: madamemayhem at April 29, 2013 08:43 AM (S2RnE)

66 omg rape huskies you guys (link in nic)

Posted by: BlackOrchid at April 29, 2013 12:39 PM (2up3Q)

*adds her name to the list of people who deserve to be smashed in the face with functioning weed whackers, dragged across rolls of concertina wire, thrown into a pool of isopropyl, kicked down the stairs and trampled by bulls.

Posted by: Washington Nearsider at April 29, 2013 08:43 AM (fwARV)

67 just sayin'

Posted by: madamemayhem at April 29, 2013 08:43 AM (S2RnE)

68 52 I have a sudden urge to watch Con Air now. Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD, you taunty bitch. at April 29, 2013 12:40 PM (Gk3SS) The Rock > Con Air

Posted by: BCochran1981 at April 29, 2013 08:43 AM (da5Wo)

69 A Speedbump Weekend starring the Tsarnaeva brothers as they fly through the air with the most explosive of ease.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at April 29, 2013 08:43 AM (CAHhA)

70 Reminds me of picking up my kid at gymnastics and getting a look at the gymnastics teacher. My first thought was, yeah, this guy is molesting someone. Dressed in dirty sweat pants and t-shirt, fat, looking like a street person in his fat guy beard...Then later that year he closed up shop all of a sudden and got out of town never t be heard from again.

Posted by: Up With People! at April 29, 2013 08:43 AM (FmFB3)

71 I couldn't ever stand Ellllllvis. Fucking Mama's boy. All his impersonators should prosecuted for being insufferable assholes.

Posted by: maddogg at April 29, 2013 08:44 AM (OlN4e)

72 what kind of a sick mind would look at a cartoon dog and think "RAPE"!! seriously....sometimes when you hear the dog whistle...nevermind

Posted by: thunderb at April 29, 2013 08:44 AM (nH8jP)

73 *adds her name to the list of people who deserve to be smashed in the face with functioning weed whackers, dragged across rolls of concertina wire, thrown into a pool of isopropyl, kicked down the stairs and trampled by bulls.

Posted by: Washington Nearsider

***

Bulls? Chicago or the type with horns?

Posted by: Tilikum The Killer Assault Whale at April 29, 2013 08:45 AM (uhftQ)

74 All of the storefront karate guys I've met have always struck me as a little...odd.

Posted by: zsasz at April 29, 2013 08:45 AM (MMC8r)

75 26
This dude sounds like a real winner, but I am still looking for that follow-up report that says it was actually ricin.
-----

Same here..., I am dubious.

Posted by: Mike Hammer at April 29, 2013 08:45 AM (aDwsi)

76 Willem-Alexander to become Europe's youngest king as Prince Charles watches on After 33 years as the Netherlands' head of state, Queen Beatrix will formally abdicate on Tuesday, passing the role on to her 46-year-old son. Stop dreaming charlie, momsie ain't going to nowhere.

Posted by: Nevergiveup at April 29, 2013 08:46 AM (9Bj8R)

"All of the storefront karate guys I've met have always struck me as a little...odd."

*punches hand with fist*

Posted by: Rex Kwan Do at April 29, 2013 08:46 AM (K+mtQ)

78 NG;DR (no ghey, didn't read)

Posted by: joeindc44 wonders what sound a democrat duck makes, is it lame lame lame? at April 29, 2013 08:47 AM (QxSug)

79 The Beatles were terrorists?! Imagine that!

Posted by: Future Reporter, J-school valedictorian at April 29, 2013 08:47 AM (I88Jc)

80 "All of the storefront karate guys I've met have always struck me as a little...odd." **** yeah, UFC 1 sort of proved that all that bullshit was bullshit.

Posted by: joeindc44 wonders what sound a democrat duck makes, is it lame lame lame? at April 29, 2013 08:47 AM (QxSug)

81 Have they ever definitively stated that it was actually ricin in these letters?

Unless I missed it, the "lab work" is taking forever.

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at April 29, 2013 12:35 PM (JDIKC)

Top. Men.

Posted by: BCochran1981 at April 29, 2013 12:42 PM (da5Wo)

The test can be done in less than an hour, hell less than a 10 minutes if you've got someone who knows what they're doing. I've often wondered if I should start my own forensic services company and just contract out to police depts. Then I realize no one will go for it because of chain of custody issues and the obvious third-party non LE involvement.

Oh well...

Posted by: EC at April 29, 2013 08:47 AM (GQ8sn)

82 Do you think they will step on his blue suede shoes?

Posted by: Penfold at April 29, 2013 08:47 AM (Fbt5B)

83 omg rape huskies you guys (link in nic) ---------------- Honestly, I was expecting something a little more rapey. It's just a dog. I thought it would be a 18 year old boy wearing a tshirt eith 2 or 3 Greek letters and a pukka shell necklace. Hell, THAT'S rapey imagery.

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at April 29, 2013 08:47 AM (JDIKC)

84 after college my best friend and I decided to drive down route 66 to CA. Did not know by then route 66 was a mess. Anyway, her car burned up in the desert. Had to get a rid in a tow truck with two guys who looked like they came out of a mad max film. They dropped us off in Kingman AZ at a diner. The place was stuffed with Elvis impersonators on their way to some sort of sort of convention. Trippy

Posted by: thunderb at April 29, 2013 08:48 AM (nH8jP)

85 There's all these Mexican Elvis' by me. You see them walking down the street. El-Vez

Posted by: fluffy at April 29, 2013 08:48 AM (z9HTb)

86 Bulls? Chicago or the type with horns?

Posted by: Tilikum The Killer Assault Whale at April 29, 2013 12:45 PM (uhftQ)

Yes.

Posted by: Washington Nearsider at April 29, 2013 08:50 AM (fwARV)

87 Cobra Kai!

Posted by: Creepy Stofefront Sensei at April 29, 2013 08:50 AM (MMC8r)

88 mexican elvises doing the karaoke americans just wont do

Posted by: Bigby's OK at April 29, 2013 08:51 AM (ZdvIN)

89 OT - What the blazes? Guy vaults pews and parishioners to get stabby with the choir. Four taken to the hospital after the Catholic Mass attack yesterday.
http://tinyurl.com/cyxlm5z

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at April 29, 2013 08:51 AM (CAHhA)

90 well obviously the 2nd baritone on the left was waaaay the fuck off key.

Posted by: madamemayhem at April 29, 2013 08:53 AM (S2RnE)

91 OT - What the blazes? Guy vaults pews and parishioners to get stabby with the choir. Four taken to the hospital after the Catholic Mass attack yesterday.
http://tinyurl.com/cyxlm5z

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at April 29, 2013 12:51 PM (CAHhA)

Wrong hymn?

Posted by: EC at April 29, 2013 08:53 AM (GQ8sn)

92 90 Ms Puma,

the rise, kneel, rise, kneel routine increases our horizontal leaping ability

Posted by: sven10077@sven10077 at April 29, 2013 08:53 AM (LRFds)

93 Assault Mass. Somebody should do something about it.

Posted by: Xander Crews at April 29, 2013 08:53 AM (ekLYk)

94 BCochran or EC - Don't see Bannion around at the moment. Filling out the survey from Friday - what's the guess the moron thing? (or is this confidential super secret on the down low info not for public consumption?)

Posted by: RWC at April 29, 2013 08:53 AM (fWAjv)

95 Someone's seen 3000 Miles to Graceland once too often.

Posted by: Brother Cavil, Septembrist at April 29, 2013 08:54 AM (fMiHM)

96 I look forward to the film starring John Travolta and Nick Cage

Posted by: thunderb at April 29, 2013 08:54 AM (nH8jP)

97 90, yeah that sanctuary stuff no longer applies since McCleod killed off that Kurgan fellow

Posted by: Bigby's OK at April 29, 2013 08:54 AM (ZdvIN)

98 85 after college my best friend and I decided to drive down route 66 to CA. Did not know by then route 66 was a mess. Anyway, her car burned up in the desert. Had to get a rid in a tow truck with two guys who looked like they came out of a mad max film. They dropped us off in Kingman AZ at a diner. The place was stuffed with Elvis impersonators on their way to some sort of sort of convention. Trippy Posted by: thunderb a Oh. I thought you were going to tell us you were picked up by two guys named Todd and Buzz in a Corvette and were cruising the country looking to right wrongs.

Posted by: Waldo Truth at April 29, 2013 08:54 AM (WcpwN)

99 El-Vez Posted by: fluffy at April 29, 2013 12:48 PM (z9HTb) I actually saw him once at my gym.

Posted by: Waldo Truth at April 29, 2013 08:55 AM (WcpwN)

100 It's obviously 'assault lyrics' like 'Onward Christian Soldiers'.

Posted by: Regular Moron [/i] at April 29, 2013 08:55 AM (feFL6)

101 @90 clearly he did not want to sing the 6th verse of Great is Thy Faithfulness.

Posted by: Wayne Newton at April 29, 2013 08:55 AM (QNNeu)

102 Don't see Bannion around at the moment. Filling out the survey from Friday - what's the guess the moron thing? (or is this confidential super secret on the down low info not for public consumption?) Posted by: RWC at April 29, 2013 12:53 PM (fWAjv) Ha. No secret. Bannion, and I to a lesser extent, have been trying to think up some random fun shit to do at the Meet Up (beyond drinking and hitting on AtC and MWR). One of the ideas was "Guess the Moron", whoever wants can hand over a pic of them when they were a kid, Morons have to try and guess who it is.

Posted by: BCochran1981 at April 29, 2013 08:56 AM (da5Wo)

103 BCochran or EC -

Don't see Bannion around at the moment. Filling out the survey from Friday - what's the guess the moron thing?

(or is this confidential super secret on the down low info not for public consumption?)

Posted by: RWC at April 29, 2013 12:53 PM (fWAjv)

That must be the info for the NoVaMoMee. Sadly, I'm not a part of that, so I can't help you. Sounds like putting nics to faces at the meetup.

Posted by: EC at April 29, 2013 08:56 AM (GQ8sn)

104 Wow, that would be some reason to attack. An Assault Music Critic.

Play that funky music white boy!

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at April 29, 2013 08:57 AM (CAHhA)

105 What happened to the Promised Land, where a man could fly across the country and order a T-bone steak Ã la carte?

Posted by: Fritz at April 29, 2013 08:57 AM (UzPAd)

106 Elvis Presley Anti-Elvis Costello

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at April 29, 2013 08:57 AM (XYSwB)

107

There's all these Mexican Elvis' by me. You see them walking down the street.

El Vez.

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at April 29, 2013 08:57 AM (zF6Iw)

108 OT - What the blazes? Guy vaults pews and parishioners to get stabby
with the choir.

The carrots go in the LIME jello, infidels.

Posted by: HeideRadieschen at April 29, 2013 08:58 AM (/kI1Q)

109 Re the ricin, when I read another article on this guy's arrest, the comment was that the ricin was very crude and may have been not much more than crushed castor beans.

Posted by: Penfold at April 29, 2013 08:58 AM (Fbt5B)

110 90 is this the definition of a "mass stabbing"?

Posted by: Foghorn Leghorn at April 29, 2013 08:58 AM (QNNeu)

111 The test can be done in less than an hour, hell less than a 10 minutes if you've got someone who knows what they're doing. I've often wondered if I should start my own forensic services company and just contract out to police depts. Then I realize no one will go for it because of chain of custody issues and the obvious third-party non LE involvement.
Oh well...
Posted by: EC at April 29, 2013 12:47 PM
-----------------

For a brief while, I was associated with a group that did accident re-construction, failure analysis, etc. We were hired by attorneys and/or insurance companies to investigate various bad events. As often as not, ther was the urge to tell the attorney, "Your client was a careless asshole". That, of course is not the way it worked out. We spent most of our time trying to come up with something that would inject doubt, or sway a jury. I got out of that as quickly as I could. Lawyers are LOT slimier than most people know. Think the worst, then TRY to imagine something twice as bad.

Posted by: Mike Hammer at April 29, 2013 08:58 AM (aDwsi)

112

"I'm a patriotic American," Dutschke told The Associated Press.

See, a good Elvis impersonator would have said "You're talkin' to the U.S. Male. The American U.S. Male."

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at April 29, 2013 08:59 AM (zF6Iw)

113 Foghorn, I say boy you listening to me.. I think boy you might be on to something.. listen up!

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at April 29, 2013 08:59 AM (CAHhA)

114 109 OT - What the blazes? Guy vaults pews and parishioners to get stabby

with the choir.
----- Probably a music critic..., I mean look at what happened to Frank Sinatra Jr.

Posted by: Mike Hammer at April 29, 2013 09:00 AM (aDwsi)

115 Elvis aficionado, Nick Cage skydives into Vegas to see a man about a horse. I see a pattern with these crazy honkies.

Posted by: Future Reporter, J-school valedictorian at April 29, 2013 09:00 AM (I88Jc)

116 112 Mike Hammer,

Yeah lawyers are advocates not seekers of truth and prosecutors are lawyers just like defense lawyers....

when I was auditing a forensic seminar with the security firm I worked I got the vibe you describe....

Posted by: sven10077@sven10077 at April 29, 2013 09:00 AM (LRFds)

117 OT - What the blazes? Guy vaults pews and parishioners to get stabby with the choir. Four taken to the hospital after the Catholic Mass attack yesterday.
http://tinyurl.com/cyxlm5z

See, stuff like that never happens in Lutheran churches. Services are too short for anyone to get into a stabby mood.

Listening to someone in robes chant in Latin for two hours? I wouldn't stab anyone, but I can't say that the thought wouldn't cross my mind.

Posted by: Hollowpoint at April 29, 2013 09:00 AM (SY2Kh)

118 OT - What the blazes? Guy vaults pews and parishioners to get stabby SPLC contributor?

Posted by: zsasz at April 29, 2013 09:00 AM (MMC8r)

119 110 Re the ricin, when I read another article on this guy's arrest, the comment was that the ricin was very crude and may have been not much more than crushed castor beans. --- Would this simply qualify as an ingredient in a "white mans burrito"

Posted by: Foghorn Leghorn at April 29, 2013 09:01 AM (QNNeu)

120 I want to know where....where! are phony Elvis' friends? I demand to know what kind of person he was. Was he just a regular guy? Did he bump his head? What did America do to make him like this?!

/s

Posted by: Lady in Black at April 29, 2013 09:01 AM (3V9LU)

121 I got 5gal of castor oil out in the garage for mixing model airplane fuel. I suppose I should turn myself in now...

Posted by: @PurpAv at April 29, 2013 09:02 AM (/gHaE)

122 122 Purp Av,

confession is absolution....

Posted by: sven10077@sven10077 at April 29, 2013 09:03 AM (LRFds)

123 PurpAv-- I sincerely hope there is no pressure cooker in the kitchen cabinet.

Posted by: Mike Hammer at April 29, 2013 09:03 AM (aDwsi)

124 124 Mike Hammer,

He keeps it in the tool shed

Posted by: sven10077@sven10077 at April 29, 2013 09:04 AM (LRFds)

125 101 It's obviously 'assault lyrics' like 'Onward Christian Soldiers'. Nope, we don't sing that one in Catholic church. That's for those heathen Protestants.

Posted by: DangerGirl at April 29, 2013 09:04 AM (pyh5u)

126 Until jwest is taken into custody, I'm not believing a fucking thing on this case.

Posted by: Captain Hate at April 29, 2013 09:05 AM (Wix3e)

127 Well PurpAv now you know why you are running to the bathroom all the time.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at April 29, 2013 09:05 AM (CAHhA)

128 >>> I got 5gal of castor oil out in the garage for mixing model airplane fuel. I suppose I should turn myself in now...

You better not have any canola oil - because RAPE!

Posted by: Fritz at April 29, 2013 09:06 AM (UzPAd)

129 Yes, lawyers, by and large, are every bit the assholes that you think they are. Which is why I wanted to do anything other than be a lawyer once I graduated law school. There are two competing schools of thought on lawyers/the legal system/truth. One is that the lawyers and the judge are Seekers of Truth. That they should essentially be working, from different angles, together on bringing the Truth to light. That is not the majority view. The more widely held view amongst "legal scholars" is that lawyers are advocates who's only goal should be to advance their side's interests and that as a result of the conflict, truth will be come evident. One views the Truth as a goal, the other views it as a product.

Posted by: BCochran1981 at April 29, 2013 09:06 AM (da5Wo)

130 Great Moogly Googly.

Sing it Mojo. Too bad we don't have flying go-karts yet.

Posted by: John P. Squibob at April 29, 2013 09:07 AM (kqqGm)

131 Sweep the leg.

Posted by: Paul Kevin Curtis at April 29, 2013 09:07 AM (QupBk)

132

Ricin Elvis....= mole beans.

Posted by: madamemayhem at April 29, 2013 09:07 AM (S2RnE)

133 One views the Truth as a goal, the other views it as a product.

Well shit. They can't all be Atticus Finch's.

Posted by: EC at April 29, 2013 09:08 AM (GQ8sn)

134 Since we're in catharsis mode, I confess that as 10 year-olds, my buddies and I followed the recipe in the Gilbert Chemistry Set guide to make black powder. Toy soldiers suffered considerably. Now, for some reason, what was simple stuff for ten-year-olds, implies really smart and sophisticated international terrorists.

Posted by: Mike Hammer at April 29, 2013 09:08 AM (aDwsi)

135 Speaking of 'reality makes satire impossible', I just tracked down a copy of the movie "Americathon," which features a bankrupt United States with such floundering, ineffective leadership that the solution to the country's economic problems (the Indian mogul who loaned the country $400B wants his money back) is to put on a thirty day telethon. It frankly doesn't sound so crazy any more. (It just mentioned North Dakota as 'America's first all-gay state.')

Posted by: zsasz at April 29, 2013 09:09 AM (MMC8r)

136 The priest was still putting away the sacraments when Lawrence Capener went stabby on the choir. So no Onward Christian Soldiers.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at April 29, 2013 09:09 AM (CAHhA)

137 Zsasz, bring on the burb-claves and La Costa Nostra pizza.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at April 29, 2013 09:11 AM (CAHhA)

138

Having my morning coffee and perusing the news sites. Hey! Did you know there was an NBA player that came out of the closet? Big News!

Otherwise, nothing to see.

Posted by: Soona at April 29, 2013 09:12 AM (WWZL7)

139 Ya'll implicated everyone here with this knowledge of this contraband! I can't do time in juvie; they pass guys like me around for cigarettes. What's your game? Extortion? I can get your name in puffHo as a rising star of your field!

Posted by: Future Reporter, J-school valedictorian at April 29, 2013 09:14 AM (I88Jc)

140 You better not have any canola oil - because RAPE! Posted by: Fritz golf clap. well played, sir

Posted by: imp at April 29, 2013 09:16 AM (UaxA0)

141 Since we're in catharsis mode, I confess that as 10 year-olds, my buddies and I followed the recipe in the Gilbert Chemistry Set guide to make black powder. Me too. Back in the 'innocent days of old' when the Pharmacist didn't bat an eye when you bought saltpeter.

Posted by: Regular Moron [/i] at April 29, 2013 09:19 AM (feFL6)

142 Another manufactured media event just like in high school.

Posted by: Skandia Recluse at April 29, 2013 09:23 AM (WsTm3)

143 Posted by: BCochran1981 at April 29, 2013 12:56 PM (da5Wo) Thanks. Piss balls! Just confirmed I'll still be travelling back from Disney. Guess it's just as well. I get to keep my clean record.

Posted by: RWC at April 29, 2013 09:26 AM (fWAjv)

144 What kind of evil is this Regime that makes up ricin scares and arrests TWO men, one obviously innocent, and the other probably innocent too, just for political purposes? BTW, there is still a man apparently locked up for supposedly making a video the Regime didn't approve of.

Posted by: Baldy at April 29, 2013 09:44 AM (opS9C)

145 Anybody watch Tosh.0 a while ago when they were playing around with Flash Cotton? We should get some. It would be fun.

Posted by: Waldo Truth at April 29, 2013 09:45 AM (WcpwN)

146 Ah, but is this the REAL Evil Elvis or is the FIRST Evil Elvis the genuine Evil Elvis who has diabolically set up the second Evil Elvis to take the fall, thereby settling all his grudges at once?

Ah, screw it. Just apply the Dick Wolf <i>Law and Order</i> Rule. Whichever Evil Elvis is the Conservative Christian Agent of Homeland Security is always guilty.

Posted by: richard mcenroe at April 29, 2013 12:08 PM (qvify)

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