Ace of Spades HQ

August 09, 2013

Fl Virtual School adopts novel new strategy - virtual teachers
— Purple Avenger

By virtual teachers, I mean ones no longer present, fired, dismissed, let go, defunct, joined the existence ephemeral, present in spirit only.

The Florida Virtual School is laying off several hundred teachers in response to a decline in enrollment and change in funding.
The online school has cut 177 full-time positions and 625 part-time instructors over July and August.

http://www.flvs.net/Pages/default.aspx

Open thread to celebrate the new virtual blog

Posted by: Purple Avenger at 09:11 AM | Comments (172)
Post contains 87 words, total size 1 kb.

1 I hope the cutbacks won't affect the curling team.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at August 09, 2013 09:13 AM (8ZskC)

2 Are they going to join a virtual union and virtually sexually assault students?

Posted by: WalrusRex at August 09, 2013 09:13 AM (XUKZU)

3 How about a virtual comment?

Posted by: Vic at August 09, 2013 09:13 AM (lZvxr)

4 Home of the Fighting Manatees

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at August 09, 2013 09:14 AM (8ZskC)

5 The last thread featured trolling by a virtual conservative, so WTH.

Posted by: @JohnTant at August 09, 2013 09:14 AM (eytER)

6 This thread has virtually just begun!

Posted by: RiverC, White Chocolate Emancipator at August 09, 2013 09:15 AM (El+h4)

7 And the Virtual Middle Class !

Posted by: Roman Maroni at August 09, 2013 09:15 AM (fJS4a)

8 I remember the days when I used to hang out in the Virtual Locker Room.

Posted by: Hairy Reed at August 09, 2013 09:15 AM (8ZskC)

9 They should accept virtual pay then there would be no layoffs.

Posted by: Vic at August 09, 2013 09:15 AM (lZvxr)

10 You'll get a virtual diploma so you can get a virtual job that pays virtual money.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot Jr. at August 09, 2013 09:15 AM (MkZzi)

All of the instructors looked and spoke just like Max Headroom.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit at August 09, 2013 09:15 AM (0HooB)

12 They're going local.

Posted by: Lincolntf at August 09, 2013 09:15 AM (ZshNr)

13 'Kate Upton naked on a horse' 'This video is private' FAH Q!

Posted by: RWC at August 09, 2013 09:15 AM (fWAjv)

14 Virtual jobs done for virtual pay -- the new normal

Posted by: Purp[/i][/b][/u][/s] at August 09, 2013 09:16 AM (di+Lf)

15 Studies show that a Virtual Diploma will qualify you for a Virtual Job.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at August 09, 2013 09:16 AM (8ZskC)

16 I hate manatees. Ugly, stupid water cows. All they do is get in the way and they are hideous to look at. If we are going to impoverish and inconvenience people for some stupid animal, at least make it a pretty one like a dolphin.

Posted by: Flatbush Joe at August 09, 2013 09:16 AM (ZPrif)

17 Virtually poised

Posted by: RWC at August 09, 2013 09:16 AM (fWAjv)

18 This thread has virtually just begun! Bring it!

Posted by: rickb223 at August 09, 2013 09:17 AM (GjYxB)

19 I notice there is still virtually no ace. Hope the Ewok is well.

Posted by: Conservative Crank at August 09, 2013 09:17 AM (sQ0LB)

20 Virtually, and literally

Posted by: Jones in CO at August 09, 2013 09:17 AM (8sCoq)

21 Hey, I'm a virtual minority in that case! I should get affirmative action.

Posted by: TenthJustice at August 09, 2013 09:17 AM (qB8lN)

22 Another Obama first: Green Layoffs!

Posted by: mark c at August 09, 2013 09:18 AM (mla70)

23 Posted by: Flatbush Joe at August 09, 2013 01:16 PM (ZPrif)

Bring it, asswipe.

http://tinyurl.com/k5sfjf2

Posted by: A Manatee at August 09, 2013 09:18 AM (8ZskC)

24 Well, it fits perfectly on this blog, because we have virtual formatting.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at August 09, 2013 09:18 AM (gqgiP)

25 Oh my. A virtual education.

Posted by: USA at August 09, 2013 09:18 AM (VIaw0)

26 I had a virtual orgasm last night--virtually, i.e. , with virtue

Posted by: Fingers Filner, feeling fine at August 09, 2013 09:19 AM (omBWL)

27 Hope the AC repair guys get it fixed before the temp hits 103 this afternoon. Virtual AC sucks!

Posted by: Bayou City at August 09, 2013 09:19 AM (9ppEA)

28 The Florida Virtual School is pining for the fjords, it is.

Posted by: Sharkman at August 09, 2013 09:19 AM (5mRmR)

29 NCKate. From last thread, aka schools. There is NO question. West Point. A ring knocker is still a ring knocker. USMA grads are in the Regular Army, a Wofford grad would be a ROTC grad, aka, Reservist. While he may have a scholarship at Wofford. At West Point he will be PAID an Army salary. Also, every summer USMA students go to special training that Wofford would not have. West Point is a beautiful campus. Don't think twice about it.

Posted by: Billy Bob, pseudo intellectal at August 09, 2013 09:19 AM (wR+pz)

30 What will this do to the virtual tuition?

Posted by: Vashta Nerada at August 09, 2013 09:19 AM (NJs1e)

31 Sarah Palin bikini pics: http://tinyurl.com/n3nnmgq

That is all.

Posted by: ol_dirty_/b/tard at August 09, 2013 09:20 AM (KSjsb)

32 A new hot pink planet is discovered [insert vajayjay or flamboyant lifestyle joke here] http://tinyurl.com/mdh8lnw

Posted by: McCool at August 09, 2013 09:20 AM (nCSwS)

33 anti-manatee-ism ??? If we got rid of Ugly Creatures, a lotta people need to go

Posted by: Fingers Filner, feeling fine at August 09, 2013 09:20 AM (omBWL)

34 "Are they going to join a virtual union and virtually sexually assault students?" Of course not. This is Florida. The land of Disneyworld. Florida teachers would never do anything as scummy as to sexually assault students. Horses and chickens maybe, but not students.

Posted by: nerdygirl at August 09, 2013 09:21 AM (C8g5R)

35 Unintended consequences rears its ugly head to thwart the left's fantasy-based agenda yet again. UNEXPECTED!

Posted by: [/i][/b][/s]akula_51 at August 09, 2013 09:21 AM (4p5/2)

36 Space is gay.

Posted by: Lincolntf at August 09, 2013 09:21 AM (ZshNr)

37 Do the students get virtual grades? Cause, I mean, there is nothing new about that. Come to think of it, nothing new about virtual teachers either.

Posted by: Mike Hammer at August 09, 2013 09:21 AM (aDwsi)

38 Guesstimating the lay-offs save the FL taxpayers about a half mil.

Posted by: Cretin, Palouse, high-grade moron material, virtually pure at August 09, 2013 09:21 AM (U3Z0J)

39 Hey, I'm a virtual minority in that case! I should get affirmative action.

Posted by: TenthJustice at August 09, 2013 01:17 PM (qB8lN)

-------------------------------------------------

No AA for you. See this key? When I press it, it turns you into a, WHOA!, a virtual white hispanic.

Posted by: Soona at August 09, 2013 09:22 AM (duhSs)

Flatbush Joe hates manatees and supports dolphins.

Manatees are gentle peaceful creatures.

Dolphins are murderers and rapists.

Since Flatbush feels that way, clearly all Republicans/conservatives are pro-rape and pro-murder.

--typical enviroweenie/liberal logic

Posted by: Conservative Crank at August 09, 2013 09:22 AM (sQ0LB)

41 I can't conceive of why FlVS could possibly need 175 full-time teachers in the first place, much less be able to function after laying that many off. But it's "free" and not just for students in Florida!

I bet it's worth every penny, too!

Posted by: Adjoran at August 09, 2013 09:22 AM (473jB)

42 some ROTC graduates are offered a commission in the regular Army

5% or so each year, or so I'm told

Posted by: Fingers Filner, feeling fine at August 09, 2013 09:22 AM (omBWL)

43 "I remember the days when I used to hang out in the Virtual Locker Room." Posted by: Hairy Reed I hear ya.

Posted by: Scummy Sandusky at August 09, 2013 09:22 AM (C8g5R)

44 Unintended consequences rears its ugly head to thwart the left's fantasy-based agenda yet again.

UNEXPECTED! Posted by: akula_51
-------------------

Unicorns hardest hit.

Posted by: Mike Hammer at August 09, 2013 09:23 AM (aDwsi)

45 What time is Obama's virtual press conference?

Posted by: JackStraw at August 09, 2013 09:23 AM (g1DWB)

46 Ace in for the virtual enstompening in 3...2...1...

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit at August 09, 2013 09:23 AM (0HooB)

47 "I hate manatees. Ugly, stupid water cows. All they do is get in the way and they are hideous to look at. " Hey, that is no way to talk about my wife. At least not to her face.

Posted by: Bill Clinton at August 09, 2013 09:23 AM (C8g5R)

48 They put one of our guys in the hospital, we put one of their guys in the morgue.

They bring a manatee to the fight, we bring a dolphin.

Posted by: Elliot Ness at August 09, 2013 09:23 AM (8ZskC)

49 O Teabag infidel, knowest thee not that the scandal of the House of Republicans is true indeed, whilst the deficit shrinketh by the Will of the Ummah?

Posted by: Virtual King Obi Bakarobi at August 09, 2013 09:23 AM (6xhLc)

50 >Sarah Palin bikini pics: http://tinyurl.com/n3nnmgq

except none feature Sarah Palin in a bikini

Posted by: Jones in CO at August 09, 2013 09:24 AM (8sCoq)

51 Virtual graduation.

Posted by: Mikey NTH - owner of the Outrage Outlet by the 4-way stop at August 09, 2013 09:24 AM (hLRSq)

52 I hate manatees. Ugly, stupid water cows. All they do is get in the way and they are hideous to look at.

If we are going to impoverish and inconvenience people for some stupid animal, at least make it a pretty one like a dolphin.

Posted by: Flatbush Joe at August 09, 2013 01:16 PM (ZPrif)

RINO!

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at August 09, 2013 09:24 AM (zF6Iw)

53 Mike, I found quick draw, thanks

Posted by: Billy Bob, pseudo intellectal at August 09, 2013 09:24 AM (wR+pz)

54 While we're on the topic of "virtual" reality... your tax dollars at work!

The Virtual Reality Cow Aiming to Turn Steak Lovers Into Vegetarians:
"...volunteers are given a virtual reality headset, the laboratory becomes a pasture which allows them to experience life as a cow destined for the slaughterhouse."

http://tinyurl.com/kusa5sf

Posted by: TenthJustice at August 09, 2013 09:24 AM (qB8lN)

55 I notice there is still virtually no ace. Hope the Ewok is well. Maybe he is pulling the trigger on that new computer. I condemn myself for the violent imagery of that statement.

Posted by: no good deed at August 09, 2013 09:25 AM (WmLrU)

56 Virtual jobs done for virtual pay -- the new normal With virtual bennies!

Posted by: rickb223 at August 09, 2013 09:25 AM (GjYxB)

57 Palin bikini pics were a lie. More like Palin halter top + shorts pics.

Posted by: Flatbush Joe at August 09, 2013 09:25 AM (ZPrif)

58 I burn nothing but imported manatee oil in my reading lamps. It's a quality of light issue.

Posted by: Lincolntf at August 09, 2013 09:26 AM (ZshNr)

59 51 >Sarah Palin bikini pics: http://tinyurl.com/n3nnmgq

except none feature Sarah Palin in a bikini

Posted by: Jones in CO at August 09, 2013 01:24 PM (8sCoq)

So it's like a Republican congresscritter--promises to give you what you want, delivers something else entirely.

Posted by: Conservative Crank at August 09, 2013 09:26 AM (sQ0LB)

OK,

So.

Sorry guys I had to bail on the last thread, home stuff (nothing big, assembling some cheap bathroom storage.)

Anyway

@CBD: Singer is only "half" honest. When it came time for him to pull the plug on his mom, he freaked out, didn't do it, blamed his sister, then "adjusted" his theory with a wacky widget.

@AtC,

I am the sad, about your career choice. I need a fellow traveler at the conferences. Maybe you could show up anyway. I'd buy you a beer .

Posted by: tsrblke at August 09, 2013 09:26 AM (GaqMa)

61 51 >Sarah Palin bikini pics: http://tinyurl.com/n3nnmgq except none feature Sarah Palin in a bikini Posted by: Jones in CO at August 09, 2013 01:24 PM (8sCoq) It's a virtual bikini! SRLSY, she's 49 and looks like a brick....house.

Posted by: EC at August 09, 2013 09:26 AM (GQ8sn)

"...volunteers are given a virtual
reality headset, the laboratory becomes a pasture which allows them to
experience life as a cow destined for the slaughterhouse."

Don't need no virtual reality headset for that. It's called marriage.

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at August 09, 2013 09:27 AM (zF6Iw)

63 I'm virtually hungry. Gonna check my virtual foodstuffs.

Posted by: Soona at August 09, 2013 09:28 AM (duhSs)

64 Oh, NC Kate. USMA students get free clothing, aka, uniforms. Go up there for a football game. You will not be disappointed. The corpse, ha ha, march out, the band plays, the team loses and every girl has wet panties. The uniform is a killer.

Posted by: Billy Bob, pseudo intellectal at August 09, 2013 09:28 AM (wR+pz)

Posted by: THE VIRTUAL MIME at August 09, 2013 09:28 AM (FJW17)

SRLSY, she's 49 and looks like a brick....house.

Just lettin' it all hang out.

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at August 09, 2013 09:28 AM (zF6Iw)

67 Posted by: THE VIRTUAL MIME *virtual golf clap*

Posted by: EC at August 09, 2013 09:29 AM (GQ8sn)

68 virtual ampersands?

Posted by: The Third Horseman Of The Apocalypse at August 09, 2013 09:29 AM (Dwehj)

69 Why do I think Jeantel will be a virtual student at this institution for many years to come? Do manatees flock together?

Posted by: Me So Horny at August 09, 2013 09:29 AM (oDCMR)

70 Mike, I found quick draw, thanks
-------------

For some reason I am strangely aroused by pictures of women wearing .45 revolvers, making 40ms draws, and hitting the target. One imagines that their husbands behave differently than Clinton, Weiner, Condit, Edwards, etc., etc.

Posted by: Mike Hammer at August 09, 2013 09:29 AM (aDwsi)

71 How can you tell this guy shot and killed his wife? No, not because he posted a picture and bragged about it on his Facebook page. It's because he's wearing a hoodie in Florida and nothing screams murder like a hoodie in Florida. http://tinyurl.com/m9bk2qe

Posted by: JackStraw at August 09, 2013 09:29 AM (g1DWB)

72 Naomi Wolf on Facebook:

I am very pleased to be addressing this weekend the largest conference ever devoted to female orgasm - in San Francisco, of course. Greet me me in the evening after my talk - I will be discussing the neuroscience of female orgasm and its relationship to the female brain, a connection I explored in "Vagina: A New Biography."

I assume this is like UFO Conventions. Everybody there talks about something they've never seen but they knew a guy whose neighbor saw one once.

Posted by: WalrusRex at August 09, 2013 09:29 AM (XUKZU)

73 "Manatees are gentle peaceful creatures. Dolphins are murderers and rapists. " So dolphins are like democratic party Senators? Yeah, I'm looking at you, Zombie Senator Teddy, you scumbag.

Posted by: nerdygirl at August 09, 2013 09:29 AM (C8g5R)

74 except none feature Sarah Palin in a bikini
Posted by: Jones in CO at August 09, 2013 01:24 PM (8sCoq)

Here's one: http://tinyurl.com/k9ckspm
Here's another: http://tinyurl.com/kpguqul
And another: http://tinyurl.com/k8nwmq5

Posted by: ol_dirty_/b/tard at August 09, 2013 09:29 AM (KSjsb)

Posted by: TenthJustice at August 09, 2013 01:24 PM (qB8lN)

Sign me up.

I needs to do me some killing!

Posted by: tsrblke at August 09, 2013 09:29 AM (GaqMa)

76 Is their virtual team mascot still the Orangeskin? Or has virtual tanning been deemed politically insensitive?

Posted by: Fritz at August 09, 2013 09:29 AM (K7xnX)

>>> SRLSY, she's 49 and looks like a brick....house.

With Crow's Feet.

Posted by: garrett at August 09, 2013 09:30 AM (w1r43)

"...volunteers are given a virtual
reality headset, the laboratory becomes a pasture which allows them to
experience life as a cow destined for the slaughterhouse."

Which is why we bred an animal that wants to be eaten and can clearly say so.

"I'll just nip off and shoot myself. Don't worry sir, I'll be very humane."

Posted by: Mikey NTH - owner of the Outrage Outlet by the 4-way stop at August 09, 2013 09:30 AM (hLRSq)

79 If you kill a mime, and someone hears it scream, have you really killed a mime?

Posted by: Conservative Crank at August 09, 2013 09:31 AM (sQ0LB)

80 Virtual steak diner - tube steak and tater tots.

Posted by: Purp[/i][/b][/u][/s] at August 09, 2013 09:31 AM (di+Lf)

81 No ones called Rubio a traitorous Rino in this thread yet, so i've taken care of that.

Posted by: Vote Lord Humungus 2016 at August 09, 2013 09:31 AM (HEa5q)

82 With Crow's Feet. Posted by: garrett at August 09, 2013 01:30 PM (w1r43) You mis-spelled "pointy elbows".

Posted by: EC at August 09, 2013 09:31 AM (GQ8sn)

83 @71 Ha ha. I went to the National Cattleman's show in Denver one year. When those women come to town there is going to be some drinking AND fucking. Usually NOT with their husband.

Posted by: Billy Bob, pseudo intellectal at August 09, 2013 09:31 AM (wR+pz)

"Virtual school"? That's retarded Sir.

Posted by: Roscoe at August 09, 2013 09:31 AM (MIovV)

85 Posted by: WalrusRex at August 09, 2013 01:29 PM (XUKZU)

Hold on, there's a FEMALE orgasm? Well that's embarrassing, they really should have said something.

Posted by: TenthJustice at August 09, 2013 09:31 AM (qB8lN)

86 All leading toward that first virtual paycheck.

Posted by: USA at August 09, 2013 09:32 AM (VIaw0)

87 except none feature Sarah Palin in a bikini
Posted by: Jones in CO at August 09, 2013 01:24 PM (8sCoq)

It's two-piece swimwear. Close enough.

Posted by: ol_dirty_/b/tard at August 09, 2013 09:32 AM (KSjsb)

Obama said in an interview that he needed to refinance his Chicago crib but couldn't do it because he is prez.

Posted by: Velvet Ambition at August 09, 2013 09:32 AM (R8hU8)

From here to there virtually. Just awesome.

Hey horde have a good weekend and a happy 5th Monday of the week.

Posted by: Misanthropic humanitarian, now with 50% more sensitiviy at August 09, 2013 09:32 AM (HVff2)

90 Kegger at VIRTI PHI! WOOOOOOO!

Posted by: weft cut-loop [/i] [/b] at August 09, 2013 09:32 AM (jcnm8)

91 >Posted by: ol_dirty_/b/tard at August 09, 2013 01:29 PM (KSjsb)

your concept of a bikini differs from mine

Posted by: Jones in CO at August 09, 2013 09:33 AM (8sCoq)

92 Obama said in an interview that he needed to refinance his Chicago crib but couldn't do it because he is prez.

Four years of thrifty living on the president's pay should have had it paid off by now.

Maybe a few less vacations, and a few more double up mortgage payments

Posted by: Purp[/i][/b][/u][/s] at August 09, 2013 09:34 AM (di+Lf)

93 So why did enrollment decline 32%? This is the most important part, I think. People are voting with their feet. Is the quality of instruction bad? Was it a poorly executed program? Were people only enrolling because, lazy?

The idea sounds fine to me. They put together instructors and a High School curriculum and then allow people to enroll who have internet access. So far so good. So what went wrong?

Posted by: bonhomme at August 09, 2013 09:34 AM (2hTlI)

Posted by: TenthJustice at August 09, 2013 01:24 PM (qB8lN)

Wait you are the cow?

Not the slaughterer?

Fuck that noise.

On the flip side...*quickly turns to comps paper*

*notes section on "over anthropomorphization of animal*

Yes...this will do nicely. I own you one TJ, I needed something tangible to prove my point, and here it is, right in my lap.

Posted by: tsrblke at August 09, 2013 09:34 AM (GaqMa)

95 @75 I think we mean that is NOT a bikini. This is a bikini. http://tinyurl.com/kye59e9

Posted by: Billy Bob, pseudo intellectal at August 09, 2013 09:34 AM (wR+pz)

96 It's because he's wearing a hoodie in Florida and nothing screams murder like a hoodie in Florida. Really, who wears a hoodie in Florida? I saw some dumbass kid wearing a long sleeve black shirt and a beanie cap. It was 97 degrees outside with 100% humidity. Unless you are allergic to sunlight or ascribe yourself to the religion of peace, there is no explanation for the fashion choice.

Posted by: no good deed at August 09, 2013 09:35 AM (WmLrU)

97 Now if we could get the US Postal Service to act like that and close some offices and lay off some unneeded "workers".

Posted by: Dang at August 09, 2013 09:35 AM (Hx2XA)

98 Squatting - the new virtual ownership

Posted by: Purp[/i][/b][/u][/s] at August 09, 2013 09:35 AM (di+Lf)

99 For some reason I am strangely aroused by pictures of women wearing .45 revolvers, making 40ms draws, and hitting the target. One imagines that their husbands behave differently than Clinton, Weiner, Condit, Edwards, etc., etc.

Posted by: Mike Hammer at August 09, 2013 01:29 PM (aDwsi)

http://tinyurl.com/m2jqvs8

http://tinyurl.com/m9nzpdq

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at August 09, 2013 09:35 AM (zF6Iw)

100 @39 My bad!
Guesstimating the savings could be $50 million.

Posted by: Cretin, Palouse, high-grade moron material, virtually pure at August 09, 2013 09:35 AM (U3Z0J)

101 can a judge put a gag order on a mime-legally I mean

Posted by: virtual mime guy before not now at August 09, 2013 09:35 AM (FJW17)

102

Four years of thrifty living on the president's pay should have had it paid off by now.

Maybe a few less vacations, and a few more double up mortgage payments

Maybe Moochelle could get another virtual job.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit at August 09, 2013 09:36 AM (0HooB)

103

89
Obama said in an interview that he needed to refinance his Chicago crib but couldn't do it because he is prez.

That's just a dog whistle to let the moneyed interests know to get hopping in paying off his mortgage.

Posted by: Me So Horny at August 09, 2013 09:36 AM (oDCMR)

104 If we are going to impoverish and inconvenience people for some stupid animal, at least make it a pretty one like a dolphin.

Eeee eeee ee eeeee eee eeeee eeeeeeeeeee eee eee!

(translation from the original dolphin: "Thank you! To show my appreciation, my friends and I will now rape you!")

Posted by: Flipper at August 09, 2013 09:36 AM (B/VB5)

105 My son is taking one of the flvs classes. Virtual PE. Mandatory class for high school. All I can say is that with the course work he's doing, thank heavens he won't have to sit through a whole year of this ridiculously simple curriculum. He'd have been bored to tears.

Posted by: sweet...ish at August 09, 2013 09:36 AM (bj+Nc)

106 OT: Feinstein: YouÂ¡Â¯re Not a Real Journalist Unless You Draw a Salary http://tinyurl.com/m3ac2ym Goes to InfoWars

Posted by: rickb223 at August 09, 2013 09:36 AM (GjYxB)

107 S'OK, they were only virtually working.

Posted by: Lizzy at August 09, 2013 09:37 AM (CzGy/)

108 He recently had to switch teachers b/c they must have laid off the one that he had.

Posted by: sweet...ish at August 09, 2013 09:37 AM (bj+Nc)

109 And virtual college transcripts, just the ticket for an aspiring Dem presidential nominee.

Posted by: mrp at August 09, 2013 09:37 AM (HjPtV)

110 The battle cry of the Fighting Virtuals is "10010110111001"

Posted by: WalrusRex at August 09, 2013 09:37 AM (XUKZU)

111

Posted by: Velvet Ambition at August 09, 2013 01:32 PM (R8hU

Does this even make any sense?

Is it because of a COI? He can't refinance?

I..just..what?

Posted by: tsrblke at August 09, 2013 09:37 AM (GaqMa)

112 The satisfaction that comes from making me a sammich is like a virtual orgasm.

Posted by: garrett at August 09, 2013 09:37 AM (w1r43)

113 In Peruvia a coma is called virtual reality.

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at August 09, 2013 09:37 AM (V1ZIU)

114 "SRLSY, she's 49 and looks like a brick....house. With Crow's Feet." I prefer that to people like Cher who get so much plastic surgery and botox that they turn themselves into freaks. And in this day and age, when girls in their mid twenties, like Lindsey Lohan, have wrinkles of a 40 year old because of substance abuse, and half the twenty somethings are at least 40 pounds overweight, Sarah Palin shows what healthy living can do for a person.

Posted by: nerdygirl at August 09, 2013 09:37 AM (C8g5R)

115 Here's one: http://tinyurl.com/k9ckspm
Here's another: http://tinyurl.com/kpguqul
And another: http://tinyurl.com/k8nwmq5

Posted by: ol_dirty_/b/tard at August 09, 2013 01:29 PM (KSjsb)

------------------------------------------------

Hate to burst your virtual fantasy, but that ain't no bikini.

Posted by: Soona at August 09, 2013 09:37 AM (duhSs)

116 Filner - virtual hands

Posted by: Purp[/i][/b][/u][/s] at August 09, 2013 09:38 AM (di+Lf)

117 Obama said in an interview that he needed to refinance his Chicago crib but couldn't do it because he is prez. Damn Republican obstructionists!

Posted by: no good deed at August 09, 2013 09:38 AM (WmLrU)

118 I've read virtually every comment on here.

Posted by: Dang at August 09, 2013 09:38 AM (Hx2XA)

119 Hate to burst your virtual fantasy, but that ain't no bikini. It's a two-piece sport swimsuit.

Posted by: EC at August 09, 2013 09:39 AM (GQ8sn)

120 My son is taking one of the flvs classes. Virtual PE. Mandatory class for high school. All I can say is that with the course work he's doing, thank heavens he won't have to sit through a whole year of this ridiculously simple curriculum. He'd have been bored to tears.

How does that work? Does he film himself playing club sports and get credit? Does he go to a gym and film his workout?

Posted by: bonhomme at August 09, 2013 09:39 AM (9PrpA)

121 Lol, Brit Hume's tweet about Naomi Wolf's little vibrator convention or whatever is perfect.

@brithume
"OMG MTÂ“@naomirwolf: I'm pleased 2 b addressing the largest conference ever devoted to female orgasm - In SFÂ”

Posted by: TenthJustice at August 09, 2013 09:39 AM (qB8lN)

122 "If you kill a mime, and someone hears it scream, have you really killed a mime?" Would it be bad of me to suggest that the living statues be taken out also?

Posted by: nerdygirl at August 09, 2013 09:39 AM (C8g5R)

123 55- Well, I've always wanted to be a cow. Meander the meadows, chomping grass at will, reclining and chewing cud all day, pondering the universe. Very philosophical animals. Don't do tricks for anyone. Don't get saddled and bridled. Don't even have to come out of the rain. Well, with their waterproof leather coats and built in boots, they don't have to RUN out of the rain. I love cows. On a green hillside or on a plate. If they weren't so useful to man, they wouldn't even exist or, at best, you could only see them in a zoo. The PETA people would rather they didn't exist at all. They really hate cows.

Posted by: Margarita DeVille at August 09, 2013 09:39 AM (C8mVl)

124 Sarah Palin shows what healthy living can do for a person. She can still run marathons. She'd kick my ass for sure.

Posted by: EC at August 09, 2013 09:39 AM (GQ8sn)

125 If you walk into a virtual reality shop in Peruvia, they just spike your drink with Mescaline, hit you in the head and drag you out into the woods for your experience. Virtual VR.

Posted by: Purp[/i][/b][/u][/s] at August 09, 2013 09:39 AM (di+Lf)

126 @115 Hear, hear!

Posted by: Cretin, Palouse, high-grade moron material, virtually pure at August 09, 2013 09:39 AM (U3Z0J)

127 Bless you, William Robert, for the Kate Uptonage.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit at August 09, 2013 09:40 AM (0HooB)

128 It's only a matter of time before they start using virtual teachers that look and talk like Che Guevara, Karl Marx, or some pseudo-random left-handed queer-gendered lesbian midget of color who stuttersÂ…

Posted by: The Political Hat at August 09, 2013 09:40 AM (XvHmy)

129 How does that work? Does he film himself playing club sports and get credit? Does he go to a gym and film his workout?
Posted by: bonhomme

He sets up his laptop so I can watch him take a shower.

Posted by: virtual Coach Sandusky at August 09, 2013 09:40 AM (Hx2XA)

130

#112

It makes no sense in a number of ways.

I doubt that there was ever a mortgage on the fucking house but you can not find any info on it at cook county web site.

He said that he didn't want to get into personal business but he would save money if he refinanced

Posted by: Velvet Ambition at August 09, 2013 09:41 AM (R8hU8)

131 The Virtual Reality Cow Aiming to Turn Steak Lovers Into Vegetarians: "...volunteers are given a virtual reality headset, the laboratory becomes a pasture which allows them to experience life as a cow destined for the slaughterhouse."
http://tinyurl.com/kusa5sf
Posted by: TenthJustice at August 09, 2013 01:24 PM (qB8lN)

We used to raise one steer a year for beef (we'd swap half a beef with a buddy of ours for a butchered pig), and we'd always give the steer an edible name so he'd know what was in store for him. Our first was Cheeseburger (black angus, grain-fed, hung 21 days... best beef evah!); the second was a hereford we named Meatloaf. I forget what we named the third, but it was equally ominous.

Cattle are for eatin'. Come to think of it, I can think of no more succinct policy statement for the Democratic Party.

Posted by: jwpaine @PirateBallerina at August 09, 2013 09:41 AM (/lWM8)

132 The battle cry of the Fighting Virtuals is "10010110111001"

What does 9,657 refer to?

Posted by: Doesn't Get Jokes at August 09, 2013 09:41 AM (2hTlI)

133

Virtual accomplishments of Obama ====>

Virtual character qualities of Obama ====>

Virtual intelligence of Obama ====>

Posted by: Foghorn Leghorn at August 09, 2013 09:41 AM (EGPJQ)

134 10010110111001 = 9657

That's a cheer? Maybe in Hex.

25b9

Closer.

Posted by: trainer's looking for a Militia to join... at August 09, 2013 09:41 AM (K5X44)

135

There's a place for all animals.

On the plate, next to the mashed potatoes.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit at August 09, 2013 09:42 AM (0HooB)

136 It's two-piece swimwear. Close enough.

Posted by: ol_dirty_/b/tard at August 09, 2013 01:32 PM (KSjsb)

And a bicycle is a Harley Davidson. Well it's a two-wheeled vehicle. Close enough.

Look, Mrs. Palin looks mighty fine in that halter top and shorts, but a bikini, it ain't.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at August 09, 2013 09:42 AM (fNpC1)

137 I know this story will warm your heart. Read the comments. Wonder who Hussein invited to his dinner? http://tinyurl.com/mvbuuyb

Posted by: Billy Bob, pseudo intellectal at August 09, 2013 09:42 AM (wR+pz)

138 Out here in the Pacific time zone, all I have is the luscious J. Connelly on the pony machine.
*blegs for moar Connelly*

Posted by: Cretin, Palouse, high-grade moron material, virtually pure at August 09, 2013 09:42 AM (U3Z0J)

139 I'm pretty sure Sarah would kick 0bama's ass in a fight

Posted by: Jones in CO at August 09, 2013 09:42 AM (8sCoq)

140 I doubt that there was ever a mortgage on the fucking house

I think its been documented he had a "jumbo" mortgage on the place and got a sweetheart rate on the deal at the time.

Posted by: Purp[/i][/b][/u][/s] at August 09, 2013 09:42 AM (di+Lf)

141 I think its been documented he had a "jumbo" mortgage on the place and got a sweetheart rate on the deal at the time.

Yup. Keeping him, ahh, "medicated" likely eats all their liquid assets.

Posted by: Ian S. at August 09, 2013 09:43 AM (B/VB5)

142 Virtual accomplishments of Obama ====> Virtual Peace Prize

Posted by: t-bird at August 09, 2013 09:43 AM (FcR7P)

143 "I think its been documented he had a "jumbo" mortgage on the place and got a sweetheart rate on the deal at the time."

*cough* Tony Rezko *cough*

Posted by: mrp at August 09, 2013 09:44 AM (HjPtV)

144 'm pretty sure Sarah would kick 0bama's ass in a fight Posted by: Jones in CO at August 09, 2013 01:42 PM (8sCoq) ...and Reggie Love.

Posted by: EC at August 09, 2013 09:44 AM (GQ8sn)

145 141 I doubt that there was ever a mortgage on the fucking house I think its been documented he had a "jumbo" mortgage on the place and got a sweetheart rate on the deal at the time. After he bought the empty lot next door from the crook at a discount. Crook in jail, Barry not so much.

Posted by: Billy Bob, pseudo intellectal at August 09, 2013 09:44 AM (wR+pz)

146

Posted by: Velvet Ambition at August 09, 2013 01:41 PM (R8hU

Firstly, What Purp said.

Secondly, most people who financed prior to the bust could save money if they refi'd. That's just math. What does it mean?

Thirdly, it was his morons named Dodd and Frank who made it so fucking hard to Refi anything, so he can go to hell.

Posted by: tsrblke at August 09, 2013 09:44 AM (GaqMa)

147 I'm pretty sure Sarah would kick 0bama's ass in a fight
Posted by: Jones in CO

Obama would be all slaps, fingernails and hair pulling accompanied by a high pitched scream.

Posted by: Dang at August 09, 2013 09:45 AM (Hx2XA)

148 He puts together a Workout Log. Has to do 6 hours of exercise a week Then I have to send in an email to the teacher verifying what he's submitted. I'm sure that there are no kids lying through their teeth out there. My kid is active with baseball and mowing the lawn so he gets his hours in.

Posted by: sweet...ish at August 09, 2013 09:45 AM (bj+Nc)

149

OT: Feinstein: YouÂ¡Â¯re Not a Real Journalist Unless You Draw a Salary

---------------

/rolleyes

Given that I (very) briefly worked as an unpaid intern for a real newspaper and wrote a couple of fluff local event stories for that paper, I'd have to disagree with her.

Posted by: junior at August 09, 2013 09:45 AM (UWFpX)

150 @132 Ex-butt-ackly!
They never consider how many fewer cattle, swine, poultry, etc., there'd be if we didn't eat them.
They're reflexive reaction, of course, is that those lives aren't worth living. Which, of course, was the NaZi justification for their death camps. "Lebenunwertes leben."

Posted by: Cretin, Palouse, high-grade moron material, virtually pure at August 09, 2013 09:46 AM (U3Z0J)

151 The battle cry of the Fighting Virtuals is "10010110111001" K9? I don't get it.

Posted by: t-bird at August 09, 2013 09:47 AM (FcR7P)

152 He puts together a Workout Log. Has to do 6 hours of exercise a week Then I have to send in an email to the teacher verifying what he's submitted. I'm sure that there are no kids lying through their teeth out there. My kid is active with baseball and mowing the lawn so he gets his hours in.

Oh, that's cool. It's like Boy Scout merit badges.

Posted by: bonhomme at August 09, 2013 09:47 AM (2hTlI)

153 Ace up

Posted by: Vic at August 09, 2013 09:47 AM (lZvxr)

154 Given that I (very) briefly worked as an unpaid intern for a real newspaper and wrote a couple of fluff local event stories for that paper, I'd have to disagree with her.

I'll learn your name when I read it in print!

DiFi translation: I'll ALLOW you first amendment protections when I read it in a publication I deem fit.

Posted by: bonhomme at August 09, 2013 09:48 AM (9PrpA)

155

Posted by: Cretin, Palouse, high-grade moron material, virtually pure at August 09, 2013 01:46 PM (U3Z0J)

I'm still fascinated by the experiment.

I mean, the very fact that we have empathy is what separates us from the cows. So the experiment is incredibly...uhh...moronic.

(Unless it's a duplicitous thing and they plan on turning the tables on PETA by basically echoing everything I'm putting in a paper as we speak.)

BTW, CBD, as I once told Bcochran:

"Kill all the animals to save all the humans."

Posted by: tsrblke at August 09, 2013 09:48 AM (GaqMa)

156 @132 I once named our horse Alpo. It took a year for my mom to catch on.

Posted by: TenthJustice at August 09, 2013 09:49 AM (qB8lN)

157 113 The satisfaction that comes from making me a sammich is like a virtual orgasm.
Posted by: garrett at August 09, 2013 01:37 PM (w1r43)

I'm pretty sure making me a sammich IS their way of expressing orgasm.

Posted by: jwpaine @PirateBallerina at August 09, 2013 09:50 AM (/lWM8)

158 "Obama said in an interview that he needed to refinance his Chicago crib but couldn't do it because he is prez. Four years of thrifty living on the president's pay should have had it paid off by now. Maybe a few less vacations, and a few more double up mortgage payments" Posted by: Purp Maybe this has something to do with his living in what is a millionaire's house, in a millionaire's neighborhood, on what is supposedly a public servant's salary. Always interesting how these politicians manage to live waaaay above their payscale.

Posted by: nerdygirl at August 09, 2013 09:51 AM (C8g5R)

159 151 @132 Ex-butt-ackly! They never consider how many fewer cattle, swine, poultry, etc., there'd be if we didn't eat them. They're reflexive reaction, of course, is that those lives aren't worth living. Which, of course, was the NaZi justification for their death camps. "Lebenunwertes leben." Posted by: Cretin, Palouse, high-grade moron material, virtually pure at August 09, 2013 01:46 PM (U3Z0J) ---------------------------- THIS. I have had this discussion with PETA types and you are 100% right. They would rather that cows and chickens, etc. not exist AT ALL. A hatred of material reality and a nihilistic destructive urge infuses so much of the Left.

Posted by: Margarita DeVille at August 09, 2013 09:52 AM (C8mVl)

160 "The idea sounds fine to me. They put together instructors and a High School curriculum and then allow people to enroll who have internet access. So far so good. So what went wrong?" This kind of education is fine for highly motivated students who are self-starters, or who have parents who will see that there will be follow-through. But for a teen-ager with a short attention span who can screw around for half a day and accomplish nothing, not a good idea.

Posted by: nerdygirl at August 09, 2013 09:53 AM (C8g5R)

161 "Really, who wears a hoodie in Florida? I saw some dumbass kid wearing a long sleeve black shirt and a beanie cap. It was 97 degrees outside with 100% humidity. Unless you are allergic to sunlight or ascribe yourself to the religion of peace, there is no explanation for the fashion choice." Posted by: no good deed A hoodie is a good way to avoid being identified after committing a crime?

Posted by: nerdygirl at August 09, 2013 09:55 AM (C8g5R)

162 "Maybe Moochelle could get another virtual job." Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit Maybe she can get that over-paid hospital job back. From what I heard, they never filled the position after she left. (Smirk)

Posted by: nerdygirl at August 09, 2013 09:57 AM (C8g5R)

163 157 @132 I once named our horse Alpo. It took a year for my mom to catch on.
Posted by: TenthJustice at August 09, 2013 01:49 PM (qB8lN)

We had one of those, too! We raised and trained appys, and this horse was a knucklehead from the word go. Happiest day that year for me was when I hauled that her to the sale.

Posted by: jwpaine @PirateBallerina at August 09, 2013 09:57 AM (/lWM8)

164 162. Better shoot him early.

Posted by: Piers Morgan at August 09, 2013 10:02 AM (iWwm3)

165 "We used to raise one steer a year for beef (we'd swap half a beef with a buddy of ours for a butchered pig), and we'd always give the steer an edible name so he'd know what was in store for him. " When I was a kid we had a calf named "T-bone". When he got so big that he was butting my brother he got sent away to my uncle's so he could play with the other cows. A while later we got a lot of meat packaged in white butcher paper.

Posted by: nerdygirl at August 09, 2013 10:04 AM (C8g5R)

166 140 I'm pretty sure Sarah would kick 0bama's ass in a fight Posted by: Jones in CO at August 09, 2013 01:42 PM (8sCoq) I've always said that a game of one-on-one would be highly entertaining.

Posted by: rickl at August 09, 2013 10:09 AM (zoehZ)

167 I'll say that this is unfortunate. My eldest took a FVS class this Summer. The teacher was great, they had live online sessions daily, the syllabus was challenging, and it went very well. FVS is also what they used to replace Summer School so the remediation could happen without the expense of running a campus all summer.

Posted by: flsprtsgod at August 09, 2013 10:13 AM (6MVtf)

168 My brother-in-law teaches Latin for FLVS. Hopefully they stay afloat, it's actually a pretty good service. Which might explain why it's not getting funded as much, because if there's anything my state cares about, it's certainly not actually educating kids.

Posted by: Thorrison at August 09, 2013 10:16 AM (GdUWB)

169 Ahhh. Explains why my daughter lost her photography teacher halfway through her summer class.

Posted by: MmeBovary at August 09, 2013 10:32 AM (ZufZo)

170 169-thanks to your brother in law for his work. My daughter was seriously ill most of her high school years, and FLVS was how she was able to keep up with classes, and graduate. But she was highly motivated, and intelligent. The sick kids are generally the ones who do well with online classes, but the remedial kids tend to screw it up just like they screwed up in-school classes. My daughter's counselor said that approximately 70% of the kids who start online classes failed them because they simply stopped doing the work. The classes are pretty easy (even the AP/honors classes) so you have to be really unmotivated, or chronically high in order to fail one of these. Of course, it is Florida. Which is why we left.

Posted by: moki at August 09, 2013 10:41 AM (EvHC8)

171 Human teachers are way over rated. I did not jack shit in college. I am self taught in my field today. My problem is not enough hours in the day to do what I need to doÂ…. Plus this internet shit keeps distracting me when I should be workingÂ….now get out!!!!

Posted by: redguy at August 09, 2013 10:53 AM (oqvI4)

172 170 Ahhh. Explains why my daughter lost her photography teacher halfway through her summer class. You don't need a teacher - just get on the inter tubes

Posted by: redguy at August 09, 2013 10:54 AM (oqvI4)

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