Ace of Spades HQ

December 08, 2013

Food Thread: A Mojito You Absolutely, Positively Do Not Want To Drink [CBD]
— Open Blogger

We Politely Request That All Off-Topic or Political Comments Be Directed to the Thread Directly Below This One, Which Will Serve Officially as the Current "Active Conversation" Thread for All Discussions Not Related To This Topic.
-- Sincerely, the Fascist MGMT

In fact, on further reflection I suggest that you do not even click on the video link, and only the most sanguine amongst you should even click on The critical blog post about it. Seriously...don't click on it.

On even further reflection......no video

This has nothing to do with cooking. This has nothing to do with drinking, which is a noble and honorable pursuit.

This has everything to do with the nest of snakes that writhes within the mind of this man and others like him.

He has managed to take a punch-line and make it a part of his own, deeply disturbed psyche!

And for a palate cleanser.....

Posted by: Open Blogger at 11:55 AM | Comments (128)
Post contains 174 words, total size 1 kb.

1 Why the actual fuck would you add semen to a mojito, or anything else for that matter?

Posted by: Insomniac at December 08, 2013 12:00 PM (UAMVq)

2 1st

So how bad did Giada cut her finger?

Posted by: DaveA[/i][/b][/s] at December 08, 2013 12:00 PM (DL2i+)

3 We Politely Request That All Off-Topic or Political Comments Be Directed to the Thread Directly Below This One, Which Will Serve Officially as the Current "Active Conversation" Thread for All Discussions Not Related To This Topic.

-- Sincerely, the Fascist MGMT

-------------------------------------------------

Well, laaa dee da.

Posted by: Soona at December 08, 2013 12:01 PM (9sMM9)

4 Do I click or not click I may click on the 2nd one. Everyone like boobies right? er 'nice cleavage'?

Posted by: Quark at December 08, 2013 12:01 PM (aBQSE)

5 Two questions:

1 - How the f**k did you find this?

2 - Why the f**k would you inflict this on us?

Posted by: Butch at December 08, 2013 12:02 PM (EV3Uf)

6 Insomniac @ 1 - Based on the little I watched, the guy sounds like a pillow biter.

Posted by: Butch at December 08, 2013 12:03 PM (EV3Uf)

7 so the top vid is making cocktails with your jiz? no thanks going back to the below thread

Posted by: Quark at December 08, 2013 12:03 PM (aBQSE)

8 The mojito may be of interest to Morons of losing teams today. Glada can cook supper for me any day.

Posted by: exdem13 at December 08, 2013 12:03 PM (lJaja)

-- Sincerely, the Fascist MGMT

Get this, this is my favorite HQ tagline.

Posted by: tbodie at December 08, 2013 12:04 PM (5SlKF)

10 Posted by: Butch at December 08, 2013 04:02 PM (EV3Uf)

It was sent to me by a bartender friend of mine...a man who is normally quite articulate. His only comment was, "uuuuhhhhhhhhh."

And if I had to watch this then I definitely want to share the pain.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at December 08, 2013 12:04 PM (oJ5Fd)

11 If I was a woman, instead of merely a lover OF women, I would hate that Giada woman from every direction.

Posted by: Jizzele Bunchofmen at December 08, 2013 12:05 PM (Lr0UN)

And regarding the mojito's - no. Just NO.

Posted by: tbodie at December 08, 2013 12:06 PM (5SlKF)

13 I don't want to click the video, but that said - what IS a good mojito recipe? I had my first one recently in Cancun and quite liked it but I don't know how to make one.

Posted by: mama winger's iPad at December 08, 2013 12:07 PM (P6QsQ)

14 what IS a good mojito recipe?

Posted by: mama winger's iPad at December 08, 2013 04:07 PM (P6QsQ)

http://tinyurl.com/mhoxeat

This is a good start.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at December 08, 2013 12:09 PM (oJ5Fd)

15 Why did the second video stop before she was done? Shit! I was gonna make that.. it looked pretty damn good. No comment on the mojito vid. I mean really, what is there to say?

Posted by: jewells45 trying to keep from going crazy at December 08, 2013 12:11 PM (u25eL)

16 Oh! So it's basically rum and mint. I can do that. Thanks CBD.

Posted by: mama winger's iPad at December 08, 2013 12:13 PM (P6QsQ)

17 I kept coming across recipes that called for mascarpone, but I couldn't find any around here. Now I have it! And so my mind has gone blank as to what I can do with it. I'm sure y'all will have lots of helpful suggestions. Or "helpful" ones. Or "couldn't possibly be worse than that video" ones. Whatevs.

Posted by: Mama AJ at December 08, 2013 12:13 PM (SUKHu)

18 Why did the second video stop before she was done? Done with what? Was she cooking or something?

Posted by: Insomniac at December 08, 2013 12:14 PM (UAMVq)

19
Clicked on the 1st vid, got as far as "the institute of semenology" and bailed.

I hope the rest of this thread is up to the usual standards.

Posted by: irongrampa at December 08, 2013 12:15 PM (SAMxH)

20 17 I kept coming across recipes that called for mascarpone, but I couldn't find any around here. Now I have it! And so my mind has gone blank as to what I can do with it. You could make tiramisu. And give me some.

Posted by: Insomniac at December 08, 2013 12:15 PM (UAMVq)

21 I mean really, what is there to say?

"Give me a semen mojito, and make it a double!"

Posted by: Colorado Alex at December 08, 2013 12:16 PM (lr3d7)

22 21 I mean really, what is there to say? "Give me a semen mojito, and make it a double!" Posted by: Colorado Alex at December 08, 2013 04:16 PM (lr3d7) Coming right up!

Posted by: Peter North, bartender at December 08, 2013 12:17 PM (UAMVq)

23 I realize I am not the arbiter of taste on this here blog, but this post is something worthy of knocking back down into draft and pretending it never happened.

I implore the author to really think about it.

What. The. Fuck.

Posted by: lauraw at December 08, 2013 12:17 PM (yGblt)

24 She has an amazing range of porn-movie exclamations.

My personal favorite: "Oh, yeah, that's just the way I like it".

I'm sure she is completely unaware of the double entendres.

Posted by: pep at December 08, 2013 12:17 PM (6TB1Z)

25 Why the actual fuck would you add semen to a mojito, or anything else for that matter? Posted by: Insomniac at December 08, 2013 04:00 PM (UAMVq) *raises hand*

Posted by: Sandra Fluke at December 08, 2013 12:17 PM (Vk2pI)

26 >>If I was a woman, instead of merely a lover OF women, I would hate that Giada woman from every direction.

Eh, she does have a nice rack, it's just her voice/chatter that is annoying. I prefer the Pioneer Woman, Ina Garten and Bobby Flay for cooking shows (when I watch).

Posted by: Lizzy at December 08, 2013 12:18 PM (JRmiD)

27 >>>what IS a good mojito recipe? Muddle a big handful of mint leaves and lime juice. Add rum and simple syrup, top with club soda. Easy peasy. I also like to add a handful of blueberries to mine.

Posted by: DC in Towson at December 08, 2013 12:18 PM (eQJwb)

28 Meh. Horse Semen drinks is already a thing in New ZealandÂ…

Posted by: Mr. Ed at December 08, 2013 12:19 PM (Vk2pI)

29 >>> "Give me a semen mojito, and make it a double!" In Soviet Cuba, bartender tips YOU!

Posted by: fluffy at December 08, 2013 12:19 PM (Ua6T/)

30 27 >>>what IS a good mojito recipe? Muddle a big handful of mint leaves and lime juice. Add rum and simple syrup, top with club soda. Easy peasy. I also like to add a handful of blueberries to mine. Posted by: DC in Towson at December 08, 2013 04:18 PM (eQJwb) So no jizz, huh?

Posted by: Insomniac at December 08, 2013 12:19 PM (UAMVq)

31 28 Meh. Horse Semen drinks is already a thing in New ZealandÂ… Posted by: Mr. Ed at December 08, 2013 04:19 PM (Vk2pI) That must have started by someone losing a bet or something.

Posted by: Insomniac at December 08, 2013 12:21 PM (UAMVq)

32 Blueberries. That would be pretty. I wish I had known about Mojitos this summer. I grew a whole bunch of mint.

Posted by: mama winger's iPad at December 08, 2013 12:21 PM (P6QsQ)

33 >>>So no jizz, huh? What do you think I use for a floater?

Posted by: DC in Towson at December 08, 2013 12:21 PM (eQJwb)

34 Waiting for the Bloody Mary recipe.

Posted by: drowningpuppies at December 08, 2013 12:22 PM (012vu)

Giada's Melons?

brb.

Posted by: garrett at December 08, 2013 12:22 PM (O4spo)

36 33 >>>So no jizz, huh? What do you think I use for a floater? Posted by: DC in Towson at December 08, 2013 04:21 PM (eQJwb) Well aren't you spunky.

Posted by: Insomniac at December 08, 2013 12:22 PM (UAMVq)

37 34 Waiting for the Bloody Mary recipe. Posted by: drowningpuppies at December 08, 2013 04:22 PM (012vu) I shudder to think...

Posted by: Insomniac at December 08, 2013 12:23 PM (UAMVq)

38 I love skeet!

Posted by: Barack Obama at December 08, 2013 12:24 PM (O4spo)

39
My daughter in law bought me some ghost pepper seeds for my birthday. I'll have fun with those. /evil laugh

Posted by: Sticky Wicket at December 08, 2013 12:24 PM (0IhFx)

40 OK, glad I didn't want the mojito video. Just ICK.

And while the internet gives us people like that guy acting out his baser instincts for all the world to see, it also gives us a site like this: one woman's quest to recreate every mixed drink in jello-shot form.
Here's her pretty Mojito jello shot: http://preview.tinyurl.com/3tfcqkd

Posted by: Lizzy at December 08, 2013 12:24 PM (JRmiD)

41 What the actual fuck.

Posted by: CAC at December 08, 2013 12:24 PM (+DZ/3)

42 My daughter in law bought me some ghost pepper seeds for my birthday. Ouch. Don't you have to register those with the BATF?

Posted by: Insomniac at December 08, 2013 12:25 PM (UAMVq)

43 uh.. WTF

Posted by: Patriots Coach Ron Meyer in Texas at December 08, 2013 12:25 PM (l7DqC)

44 OH shit yes.. a good bloody mary recipe would be awesome! C'mon.. somebody must have one! I hate the damn mixers that come in the bottle. Would love a good homemade recipe.

Posted by: jewells45 trying to keep from going crazy at December 08, 2013 12:25 PM (u25eL)

45 Much thanks to CBD for, uhm, yanking that one.

Posted by: lauraw at December 08, 2013 12:28 PM (yGblt)

46 Is this recent? I ask because the last few times I've seen there's no cleavage to be found. Cleavage denied. I think someone told her to dial it back. That person should be hunted down and killed.

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at December 08, 2013 12:28 PM (oFCZn)

47 Mmmmm, Good Mojito!

Posted by: Sandra Fluke at December 08, 2013 12:29 PM (//hi2)

48 >>>good bloody mary recipe would be awesome V8 or tomato juice, add pepper, tabasco, Old Bay, and a metric fuckton of vodka. I like to muddle a fresh jalapeÃ±o slice in mine for extra kick.

Posted by: DC in Towson at December 08, 2013 12:31 PM (eQJwb)

49 yes, thanks

Posted by: Dave in Texas at December 08, 2013 12:31 PM (l7DqC)

50 Trying to rack my brain to figure out what CBD was trying to do with man goo and Giad... *BUZZES IN* BURL FECKLACE! That was the point of this thread.

Posted by: CAC at December 08, 2013 12:31 PM (+DZ/3)

1 jigger Vodka

1/2 cup Clamato Juice

1/2 tspn each of Lemon Juice, Horseradish, Worstershire and Milano's Dill sauce

pinch of ground pepper, dash of hot sauce

garnish with candied bacon skewer

Posted by: Smokey The Drunk at December 08, 2013 12:36 PM (k4hO9)

52 To the Macho Mojito maker. "You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means."

Posted by: The Hickster at December 08, 2013 12:36 PM (TI3xG)

53 I have some fresh clamato juice I can share!

Posted by: Sandra Fluke at December 08, 2013 12:37 PM (UAMVq)

54 34 Waiting for the Bloody Mary recipe. Posted by: drowningpuppies at December 08, 2013 04:22 PM (012vu) Thread winner.

Posted by: rickl at December 08, 2013 12:37 PM (sdi6R)

55 How about a good Tom and Jerry recipe. I know it's pretty basic but I have only used the store bought kind.

Posted by: The Hickster at December 08, 2013 12:38 PM (TI3xG)

56 In some ways this isn't that surprising. As a society, we've long ago decided that when it comes to sex, as long as it's consensual and between adults then not only should it be tolerated it should be publicly celebrated. (There's a whole separate discussion about how the left has sought to loosen the definitions of "consensual" and "adult" which we'll save for another day.) Combine that with the upper middle class obsession with anything "foodie" as an indicator of status and you get crap like this.

Posted by: Colorado Alex at December 08, 2013 12:39 PM (lr3d7)

57

Ouch. Don't you have to register those with the BATF?

Hottest pepper on earth. Over one million scoville units. For all the boys that come around to visit with my daughter.....price of admission will be eating just one pepper.

Posted by: Sticky Wicket at December 08, 2013 12:40 PM (0IhFx)

58 1) I got as far as the title of that nasty link and turned back. 2) Giada's lips are not in sync with the speech and I cannot believe I noticed it. 3) Cross contamination of the pork! "Let me put it back on the same tray!" That is all

Posted by: losthusker at December 08, 2013 12:40 PM (r/XjE)

59 How about a good Tom and Jerry recipe. I know it's pretty basic but I have only used the store bought kind.

Posted by: The Hickster at December 08, 2013 04:38 PM (TI3xG)

The "Ron and Peter" version is a little bit thicker and slightly saltier, but it will feed your whole holiday party.

Posted by: Colorado Alex at December 08, 2013 12:40 PM (lr3d7)

60 What inspired that Mojito recipe? The guy have a stroke?

Posted by: Blanco Basura at December 08, 2013 12:41 PM (JawqV)

61 When he can dispense, stir with and then flame dry in a room of rabid weasels while ice skating uphill then maybe he can call it macho.

Posted by: DaveA[/i][/b][/s] at December 08, 2013 12:41 PM (DL2i+)

62 Hottest pepper on earth. Over one million scoville units. For all the boys that come around to visit with my daughter.....price of admission will be eating just one pepper.

Good idea. That way they won't be able to taste or smell anything later that night in the back of their car.

Posted by: Colorado Alex at December 08, 2013 12:41 PM (lr3d7)

63 I don't really need large breasts, but really, that's your palate cleanser? REALLY? First the lame cheerleader norm, and now this? Smart Mil Blogs should be able to do better.

Posted by: @ParisParamus at December 08, 2013 12:41 PM (kuxMZ)

64
Good idea. That way they won't be able to taste or smell anything later that night in the back of their car.

I think that one pepper will take everything else off the menu that night.

Posted by: Sticky Wicket at December 08, 2013 12:45 PM (0IhFx)

65 The "Ron and Peter" version is a little bit thicker and slightly saltier, but it will feed your whole holiday party.>>

Was just about to do a search but it finally clicked "R.J. and P.N."

Posted by: The Hickster at December 08, 2013 12:45 PM (TI3xG)

66 discount handbags discount hairbags discount hairnets discount arpanets discount prom dresses discount porn dresses discount mom dresses discount spam dresses bartender there's something in this mojito my octopus is like a fucking connoisseur of mojitos and he says you have contaminated his goddamned mojito the code of the samurai demands you stab yourself with this neat little plastic sword with fruit impaled on it i don't know how you're going to kill yourself maybe if you keep stabbing you'll eventually bleed out all i know is you'd better get started because otherwise you're going to have one angry fucking octopus mojito-lover in your bar not to mention me

Posted by: MACHINES FOR SALE at December 08, 2013 12:46 PM (5nb1M)

67 Horse Semen drinks is already a thing in New ZealandÂ…

Posted by: Mr. Ed at December 08, 2013 04:19 PM (Vk2pI)

Whatever. Just say, "neigh" to that one.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at December 08, 2013 12:51 PM (8Fl6F)

68 I think that one pepper will take everything else off the menu that night.

Posted by: Sticky Wicket at December 08, 2013 04:45 PM (0IhFx)

If by "take everything else off the menu" you mean "send the boy home gasping for breath and hoping he does not die" then yes. You would be correct.

Posted by: tbodie at December 08, 2013 12:54 PM (5SlKF)

69 Girada is married, I doubt she would allow a crap Christmas tree. No moron has to worry they lost dibs on her.

Posted by: madamex at December 08, 2013 12:55 PM (1zsKV)

70 On even further reflection......no video

And that right there is the difference between Obama and CBD. When CBD screws up, he retracts it. When Barry does, he doubles down. Good call.

Posted by: pep at December 08, 2013 12:57 PM (6TB1Z)

71 Nah, Giada doesn't bother me. She has a puppet head, not esp large boobies (she just desperately displays them), and her Italian pronunciation is silly.

Posted by: Y-not at December 08, 2013 01:01 PM (zDsvJ)

72 Food Network did a live interactive show for T-day. Giada, Ina, Bobby Flay and Alton Brown were hosting. They were taking questions from Twitter, Facebook, via Skype, etc. Giada was a friggin' attention whore during the whole show. Annoying as hell and you could even tell some of the other hosts were annoyed with her. She also managed to cut her finger on live TV. Commenters on FN savaged her. Page after page.

Posted by: [/i][/b][/u][/s] Tami at December 08, 2013 01:02 PM (bCEmE)

73 Why did the second video stop before she was done? Don't you mean before you were done? Guess there won't be any mojitos for you then!

Posted by: Weirddave at December 08, 2013 01:02 PM (N/cFh)

74 Gaming Thread up-

Posted by: Tobacco Road at December 08, 2013 01:03 PM (4Mv1T)

75 I love a good spicy bloody mary; I order one and the bartender says 'try this and tell me if its too hot' and before I take a sip I say 'nope'.

At home I use V8 with Tabasco (already in it), moar tabasco to taste, a dash of worchestershire, a fresh squeezed chunk of lime or lemon or both, and plenty of cheap swill triple distilled vodka.

But don't, I repeat don't, add ground pepper to the thing. It just ruins the texture, the mouth feel. It's like someone threw sand in the thing.

Posted by: GnuBreed at December 08, 2013 01:04 PM (cHZB7)

76
If by "take everything else off the menu" you mean "send the boy home gasping for breath and hoping he does not die" then yes. You would be correct.

That is the plan.

Posted by: Sticky Wicket at December 08, 2013 01:05 PM (0IhFx)

77 I snagged one of those big ol' Pit's and Spit's smokers from my cousins' ex who went to electric a few years back and I love the thing. How do you folks like your ribs...wet, dry, mopped with vinegar based sauce, beer, dry rubbed? What kind of wood...hickory only or fruit woods...mesquite? Any advice on how to get that glass of cum out of my mind would be greatly appreciated.

Posted by: dumbartist at December 08, 2013 01:07 PM (ahBY0)

78 "...it's consensual and between adults then not only should it be tolerated it should be publicly celebrated.

Posted by: Colorado Alex at December 08, 2013 04:39 PM (lr3d7)

This is exactly the point.

For God's sake....do what you want, but I DON"T WANT TO KNOW ABOUT IT!

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at December 08, 2013 01:09 PM (oJ5Fd)

79 Posted by: dumbartist at December 08, 2013 05:07 PM (ahBY0)

My favorite pork ribs are dry-rubbed and then either smoked gently or slow roasted in the oven.

I put enough sugar in my dry rub that the pork gets almost caramelly in the oven.

And too much smoke overwhelms pork ribs. And yes, I am in the minority there, but I like the taste of pork! I think beef and lamb can handle much more smoke.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at December 08, 2013 01:11 PM (oJ5Fd)

80 Ghost pepper no longer the hottest, as of 2012: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trinidad_Moruga_Scorpion

Posted by: Mr Wolf at December 08, 2013 01:11 PM (Ss56U)

81 Posted by: GnuBreed at December 08, 2013 05:04 PM (cHZB7)

I put a fine dusting of chipotle powder or cayenne powder on the top of the drink, trying to get just a bit on the rim of the glass.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at December 08, 2013 01:13 PM (oJ5Fd)

82 Ghost pepper no longer the hottest, as of 2012:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trinidad_Moruga_Scorpion

Posted by: Mr Wolf at December 08, 2013 05:11 PM (Ss56U)

And it been beaten already....

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carolina_Reaper

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at December 08, 2013 01:14 PM (oJ5Fd)

83 >>>Cross contamination of the pork! "Let me put it back on the same tray!"

The pork had just been browned; it was still going to be cooked through. So, placing the browned but uncooked pork on the same platter as where it had been before didn't matter.

Posted by: Anon Y. Mous at December 08, 2013 01:17 PM (IN7k+)

84 Great. A pepper arms race.

Posted by: rickl at December 08, 2013 01:18 PM (sdi6R)

85 From Imbibe Magazine: CafÃ© de la MaÃ±ana Tequila-spiked coffee? You betcha! This coffee cocktail from Quentin Ertel, owner of The Saint Social Club in Seattle, is perfect for livening up an ordinary cup of joe. 1 Â½ oz. reposado tequila Â½ oz. Kahlua coffee liqueur 8 oz. fresh-brewed coffee Fresh agave nectar whipped cream Glass: goblet or Irish coffee Garnish: nutmeg Add tequila and Kahlua to glass and top with fresh, hot coffee. Fold whipped cream onto top of drink. Dust with freshly grated nutmeg.  Agave Nectar Whipped Cream 1 cup heavy cream 2 Tbsp. agave nectar 1 tsp. vanilla extract Tools: hand mixer, bowl Mix all ingredients in bowl until firm.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at December 08, 2013 01:20 PM (DmNpO)

86 cbd...I like to put something sugary at the end to caramelize them too but I like mine falling off the bone which is a no no in places that like chewy. But I do like the smoke. My Ma used to make hers similar to yours in the oven.

Posted by: dumbartist at December 08, 2013 01:20 PM (ahBY0)

BLOODY MARY

http://tinyurl.com/y9jvjuo

'...nothing but dinner, for yoooou!'

Posted by: GWAR at December 08, 2013 01:23 PM (HQucz)

88 How do you folks like your ribs...wet, dry, mopped with vinegar based sauce, beer, dry rubbed? What kind of wood...hickory only or fruit woods...mesquite?

Posted by: dumbartist at December 08, 2013 05:07 PM (ahBY0)

I alternate between dry Memphis rub and wet-mopping with the Lexington Dip sauces, but either way I'll use hickory wood.

Posted by: GGE of the Moron Horde, NC Chapter at December 08, 2013 01:29 PM (yh0zB)

Dry Rubbed.

Smoke them with Alder and finish them with Apple.

Posted by: garrett at December 08, 2013 01:30 PM (578vg)

90 When it comes to ejaculate based cooking, I couldn't give a toss.

Posted by: Iskivar at December 08, 2013 01:32 PM (iP+9S)

91 Sloe gin jizz coming right up.

Posted by: NCKate at December 08, 2013 01:38 PM (H/qBR)

92 Girada is married, I doubt she would allow a crap Christmas tree.

Unlike Sandra Lee.
http://minx.cc/?post=335463

Posted by: HeatherRadish™ at December 08, 2013 01:39 PM (hO8IJ)

93 How do you folks like your ribs...wet, dry, mopped
with vinegar based sauce, beer, dry rubbed? What kind of wood...hickory
only or fruit woods...mesquite?>>

Yes.

I've been smoking ribs and other meats for over 10 years now. Using a offset barrel type smoker. I'm still in the try different things stage. For the family 4th of July party (since it's a tradition now) its hickory for the first 2 hours and BBQ sauce at the end. Oh and lots of beer for me.

Posted by: The Hickster at December 08, 2013 01:40 PM (TI3xG)

94 I dry rub mine too and then wet mop with something vinegary or acidic like pineapple juice. I always end up wrapping them in foil when they get dark and then open them up at the end for a crust. If I don't foil em up they don't get as tender as I like them. Same thing with briskets or pork shoulders. I do like hickory but recently tried some apple on my first cured salmon that I cold smoked. Pretty happy with a thing called a-maze-n smoker that uses pellets to cold smoke.

Posted by: dumbartist at December 08, 2013 01:41 PM (ahBY0)

95 Posted by: garrett at December 08, 2013 05:30 PM (578vg)

Alder? What's the flavor?

Oh....needless to say, my dry-rubbed ribs do not get a sauce.

Sauce is for savages.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at December 08, 2013 01:43 PM (oJ5Fd)

96 Beer is a must and a trick for me when doing long smokes...I usually end up with a flashlight after a 12 pack bringing the thing in at midnight.

Posted by: dumbartist at December 08, 2013 01:44 PM (ahBY0)

97 Oh and lots of beer for me.

Posted by: The Hickster at December 08, 2013 05:40 PM (TI3xG)

You're relatively new to BBQ, so you are forgiven for not knowing that drinking beer when one smokes meat is the law.

Seriously, check your local ordinances.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at December 08, 2013 01:44 PM (oJ5Fd)

98 Denver kicker just set an NFL record for a FG...64 yards.

Posted by: [/i][/b][/u][/s] Tami at December 08, 2013 01:46 PM (bCEmE)

99 You like dem bones chewy then...I just can't get them right without mopping and foiling at 220 degrees...maybe too hot?

Posted by: dumbartist at December 08, 2013 01:47 PM (ahBY0)

100 Posted by: dumbartist at December 08, 2013 05:41 PM (ahBY0)

Yeah....pork ribs are surprisingly delicate. They can dry out and get tough.

That's why I try to keep the smoke to a minimum, and sometimes even finish them in the oven at a really low temp.

By the way, a friend told me that tenting the ribs in the smoker will keep them moist, and it's easier than wrapping them.

I haven't tried it yet, so......+

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at December 08, 2013 01:47 PM (oJ5Fd)

101 Okay. I took CBDs advice and didn't watch the Mojito vid, but I did finally go and read the review he linked. WTELF?! I'd Bing it, but I'm afraid of what I might find if I searched for 'afterbirth recipes'.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at December 08, 2013 01:49 PM (DmNpO)

102 I've had some really shitty cuts of meat too. I made bacon this year for the first time and didn't know they cut the ribs from the belly. I may have had ribs with more bone and fat than I thought.

Posted by: dumbartist at December 08, 2013 01:51 PM (ahBY0)

103 Spunk guy probably makes a fabulous hummus.

Posted by: NCKate at December 08, 2013 01:53 PM (H/qBR)

104 >> I'd Bing it, but I'm afraid of what I might find if I searched for 'afterbirth recipes'.

NDH, I made the mistake a few years ago of posting a link to placenta recipes on the ONT. Er, that didn't go over very well, much like today's episode in tastelessness.

So yes, they exist.

Posted by: GnuBreed at December 08, 2013 02:00 PM (cHZB7)

105 NDH, I made the mistake a few years ago of posting a link to placenta recipes on the ONT. Er, that didn't go over very well, much like today's episode in tastelessness. So yes, they exist. *** That chart that presumes to show an evolution from monkey to man.... well, the trend is now reversing.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at December 08, 2013 02:05 PM (DmNpO)

106 Just finished watching 'The Yearling', wherein a young boy learns the distinction between 'deer', and 'venison'. As an aside, for any bookish types, I will say that I have a First Edition copy of the book.

Posted by: Mike Hammer at December 08, 2013 02:14 PM (aDwsi)

107 Speaking of bacon, since I'm camping out here till the next thread, I'll post a how-to make it at home if I can take it from a book and tribute the author. Not sure what's cool but I was surprised at how easy it is and how much better than store bought. Same with pancetta.

Posted by: dumbartist at December 08, 2013 02:21 PM (ahBY0)

108 Speaking of bacon, since I'm camping out here till the next thread, I'll post a how-to make it at home if I can take it from a book and tribute the author...

Is it similar to this?

http://tinyurl.com/ckk58y

Since that will take away the attributing it to an author worry.

Posted by: The Hickster at December 08, 2013 02:32 PM (TI3xG)

109 Similar but yours isn't cured with pink salt. The nitrites or nitrates in the pink salt are what makes it taste like bacon. Same thing with Canadian bacon...I made some from a boneless pork loin that was good. If I put a link in my nick will it work? Don't know how to do tiny.

Posted by: dumbartist at December 08, 2013 02:40 PM (ahBY0)

110 Hey it works...thx hipster...now I know.

Posted by: dumbartist at December 08, 2013 02:43 PM (ahBY0)

111 damn...Hickster, sorry

Posted by: dumbartist at December 08, 2013 02:46 PM (ahBY0)

112

Some sick shithead of a second grade teacher in South Los Angeles was serving up spoonfuls of his semen to his second grade students.

Well they finally caught him; don't know if he's been tried yet, but he's out of the classroom. Once they have a trial, they'll send him up to maybe Corcoran in the Central Valley. (Soledad State Prison is a sort of gladiator school for young Latinos and Blackskk--if they survive, they get to go somewhere else.)

Anyway, I'm certain that he'll be "tried" once he gets to Corcoran. I suspect his rectum will be bigger than the Holland Tunnel by the time he gets out.

Posted by: Comanche Voter at December 08, 2013 02:51 PM (VAche)

113 damn...Hickster, sorry>>

No problem it made me laugh.

Posted by: The Hickster at December 08, 2013 02:53 PM (TI3xG)

114 Posted by: Comanche Voter at December 08, 2013 06:51 PM (VAche)

His name is Mark Berndt, he was a teacher at a CA school, he has pleaded no contest to all counts and is now serving a 25 year sentence.

Posted by: GnuBreed at December 08, 2013 02:56 PM (cHZB7)

115 Wow, just when you thought you read about the sickest motherfucker you ever heard of, another one pops right up. Makes me wonder what will be the causes of so many liberals holding power in this country.

Posted by: dumbartist at December 08, 2013 03:02 PM (ahBY0)

116 Liberals really are insane. They constantly have to find new ways to "transgress" in order to congratulate themselves for being "transgressive" -- and in order to condemn anyone who isn't a perverted degenerate as "puritanical" or "narrow-minded." It's a mental illness. It's destroying us and our civilization. We've got to stop treating them as normal and sane and start fighting them as the corrupt, evil lunatics they really are.

Posted by: Trimegistus at December 08, 2013 03:14 PM (5nb1M)

117 I agree...I keep thinking about a past ace post, I think...something like if they imagine it, it must be true. They have the power of law to make it true, whether it factually is or not. Worrys me.

Posted by: dumbartist at December 08, 2013 03:19 PM (ahBY0)

118 Yay, machines for sale!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by: bebe's boobs destroy at December 08, 2013 03:22 PM (nbT0N)

119 >>I alternate between dry Memphis rub and wet-mopping with the Lexington My local hooker only does the dry Texas hand jobs or the wet Florida handjobs her Vajayjay is Arizona dry, but I didn't think it was worth $18 to find out

Posted by: Quark at December 08, 2013 03:26 PM (aBQSE)

120 I made buffalo wings....would anyone like some?

Posted by: [/i][/b][/u][/s] Tami at December 08, 2013 03:28 PM (bCEmE)

121 maybe she isn't using enough cayenne in her mix.

Posted by: dumbartist at December 08, 2013 03:31 PM (ahBY0)

122 Just remember the mojito recipe before you piss off a cook, waiter, waitress or bartender. Everyone has their own "special sauce" for annoying customers.

Posted by: Lucky Pierre at December 08, 2013 03:39 PM (5fSr7)

123 Thx Tami, but this thread ain't doing much for my appetite...

Posted by: dumbartist at December 08, 2013 03:47 PM (ahBY0)

124 Trust me. Drinking semen is a guaranteed pathway to bring macho!

Posted by: Andy Dick at December 08, 2013 04:12 PM (OVmhO)

125 You tell them Andy!

Posted by: Liberace at December 08, 2013 04:13 PM (OVmhO)

126 Food Thread: A Mojito You Absolutely, Positively Do Not Want To ~~Drink~~ Read and if strikethrough didn't work that was f'in gross. The next time you have a thought like that, just let it go, seriously. Inflict that shit on yourself but don't share.

Posted by: Gmac-Pondering the coming implosion, and hoping its 404care at December 09, 2013 01:07 AM (IanLz)

127 Trying to mainstream fetishism. It's gross. What's next on the body's excrement recipe list? Uterine linings? Mucous? "Exciting receipes on how to reuse, repurpose and recycle your shit"... I generally shrug off the eccentricities of people but this is a guy with a problem that needs to be denounced.

Posted by: tired at December 09, 2013 04:33 AM (adOUE)

128 Insomniac, the Bloody Mary recipe will be much less popular because it is only available a few days every month.

Posted by: Michael E. Stora, Ph.D. at December 09, 2013 01:14 PM (QGTBZ)

Hide Comments | Add Comment | Refresh | Top

Comments are disabled. Post is locked.

127kb generated in CPU 0.036, elapsed 0.2422 seconds.
64 queries taking 0.2164 seconds, 256 records returned.
Powered by Minx 1.1.6c-pink.