Ace of Spades HQ

November 28, 2013

Forward! On to the Christmas shopping.
— Purple Avenger

The turkey thing is spent, over, kaput. By tomorrow it'll be leftovers and garbage bags. In another week it'll be scary science experiments in Tupperware shoved to the back of the fridge.

Christmas gifts are about frivolity -- stuff you don't really need. If you really truly needed something, then you'd have already obtained it previously, because you like...needed it.

If you got $70 in your pocket yearning to be spent on gifting frivolity, you might want to seriously consider this gadget.

The Egg Minder makes sure your day always starts off "sunny side up." You'll never be in a scramble for a good egg again.
Product Specifications

Device syncs with your smartphone to tell you how many eggs you've got at home and when they're going bad.

Connects to the Wink app over Wi-Fi

Compatibility: iOS 6 and above, iPhone 4 and above, and Android phones/tablets with OS 2.2 or higher

Great for families and impromptu chefs

LED notification of oldest egg

App notiﬁcations upon low egg inventory

Check your inventory from the store

Playful designÂ–kids will love to unpack the eggs

Capacity: 14 eggs

Materials: Plastic, acrylic, LED lights, Wi-Fi chip

Batteries: 2 AA (included)

Dimensions: 14.6" long x 4.4" wide x 3.2" high

Of course you could simply examine the egg tray in the fridge and get a rough approximation of the egg count, but that kind of stone age thinking is fast falling by the wayside; only dinosaurs do that kinda shit anymore. Modern people need systems to count for them and send critical phone notifications.

As a gag gift for a Neo-Luddite, this thing would be perfect. Do it as a 2-stage gift. Give'em the gizmo first, then hand them another gift -- a hammer. Guaranteed good times and laughs for all.

Posted by: Purple Avenger at 04:52 PM | Comments (167)
Post contains 309 words, total size 2 kb.

1 you gotta be kidding!

Posted by: JeanQueenie at November 28, 2013 04:54 PM (82lr7)

2 $70 for that thing?!?!?!

Posted by: JeanQueenie at November 28, 2013 04:55 PM (82lr7)

3 Perfect for someone on a high-protein diet!

Posted by: Vendette at November 28, 2013 04:55 PM (MpP9p)

4 Who has ever had an egg go bad?

Posted by: Y-not at November 28, 2013 04:56 PM (zDsvJ)

5 Who has ever had an egg go bad?

Posted by: Y-not at November 28, 2013 04:56 PM (zDsvJ)

6 Does it get lazier than this?

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at November 28, 2013 04:57 PM (GEICT)

7 Does it get lazier than this?

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at November 28, 2013 04:57 PM (GEICT)

8 I like eggs.

Posted by: Larry Holmes at November 28, 2013 04:57 PM (m8Yn8)

9 I like eggs.

Posted by: Larry Holmes at November 28, 2013 04:57 PM (m8Yn8)

Who has ever had an egg go bad?

The Brown ones are more likely to go bad.

Posted by: garrett at November 28, 2013 04:58 PM (m8Yn8)

Who has ever had an egg go bad?

The Brown ones are more likely to go bad.

Posted by: garrett at November 28, 2013 04:58 PM (m8Yn8)

12 Speaking of solutions with no problems, have any of you seen the ads for the egg-shaped lip balms? I've forgotten the name, but the ads have been on tv a lot. I can't imagine what the supposed advantage would be of an egg-shaped lip balm.

Posted by: Y-not at November 28, 2013 04:58 PM (zDsvJ)

13 Speaking of solutions with no problems, have any of you seen the ads for the egg-shaped lip balms? I've forgotten the name, but the ads have been on tv a lot. I can't imagine what the supposed advantage would be of an egg-shaped lip balm.

Posted by: Y-not at November 28, 2013 04:58 PM (zDsvJ)

14 At what point does 'progress' begin to regress our civilization? oh look, it's barack obama and another stupid policy!

Posted by: soothsayer is connectin the dots at November 28, 2013 04:59 PM (AgDKM)

15 Wow. Fail gift. Now I'm proud to be a Neanderthal from the Stone Age. << Hey hipster, you can't even read the end of an egg carton. >> What a stupid unneeded tech gift. Even as a gag. I did better giving my ultra-liberal family "Going Rogue" one Christmas. My sister treated is as "How to be a Pedophile With Your Own Children".

Posted by: NaCly Dog at November 28, 2013 04:59 PM (u82oZ)

16 Speaking of eggs, after years and years of advertising I finally broke down and tried "Eggland's Best".

I guess that I am no judge of eggs. They tasted exactly like Walmart's house brand.

No better. No worse. Just 50% more expensive.

Posted by: Jimbo at November 28, 2013 05:01 PM (V70Uh)

17 Pixyy took out my hipster curse " You can't even read the end of a egg carton, dufus cockholster."

Posted by: NaCly Dog at November 28, 2013 05:01 PM (u82oZ)

18 Even the Sharper Image wouldn't do something this silly. Well, they probably would. btw, isn't it anazing that that stupid business stayed afloat for so long?

Posted by: soothsayer is connectin the dots at November 28, 2013 05:02 PM (AgDKM)

19
The batteries part cracks me up too, assuming you can get past the stupidity of the purpose of the device.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at November 28, 2013 05:02 PM (caCiW)

20 I really need a new bigger TV for my bedroom

Posted by: Nevergiveup at November 28, 2013 05:03 PM (nzKvP)

21 Posted by: Jimbo at November 28, 2013 09:01 PM (V70Uh) I'm not a fan of the brand, because more often than not I'd crack an egg and then have to remove red spots.

Posted by: Vendette at November 28, 2013 05:03 PM (MpP9p)

22 I use the float/sink test if eggs are questionable. It's ummm, free. But, people are idiots, so this thing will sell. Maybe almost as well as the "Uncle Si Chia Pet" http://tinyurl.com/nebrhm2

Posted by: shredded chi at November 28, 2013 05:03 PM (N3+X9)

23 and now I have a craving for an Orange Julius..

Posted by: soothsayer is connectin the dots at November 28, 2013 05:03 PM (AgDKM)

24 I hacked your eggs.

Anonymous

Posted by: GnuBreed at November 28, 2013 05:03 PM (cHZB7)

25 Working on a jigsaw puzzle before the air hockey tournament begins. No shopping for us.

Posted by: NCKate at November 28, 2013 05:04 PM (X/4E9)

26 No better. No worse. Just 50% more expensive.

Shhh!!

Posted by: Crutchfield at November 28, 2013 05:04 PM (82lr7)

27 If anyone gave me that I would return it.

Posted by: Carol at November 28, 2013 05:04 PM (z4WKX)

28 These gifts sell because -"shiny!" The hardcore up at dawn Black Friday shoppers in family are forgoing that tradition this year. So BCochran how did the turkey fry go? House and car still standing?

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at November 28, 2013 05:04 PM (0FcyN)

29 Hey! That will work. With my new Hamilton Beach Breakfast sandwich maker.

Posted by: neophite at November 28, 2013 05:05 PM (hADNn)

30 Oh and liberal sisters thinks all Drs should be forced, forced I say, to take any and all patients not matter what the plan including medicaid and medicare.
You might want to remind your siblings that no one has to be a doctor. If they can't make sufficient money at it, they'll quit and pick a new career. (Other thread leftovers.)

Posted by: [/i]andycanuck[/b] at November 28, 2013 05:05 PM (ZyZIo)

31 So BCochran how did the turkey fry go? House and car still standing? Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at November 28, 2013 09:04 PM (0FcyN) Ha! No, no, doing that at Christmas. Plenty of turkey was had though.

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at November 28, 2013 05:05 PM (GEICT)

32 >>No better. No worse. Just 50% more expensive. I thought the supposed advantage of Eggland's Best is that the chickens are fed feed that results in eggs with a more healthful fat content. Maybe I'm misremembering that.

Posted by: Y-not at November 28, 2013 05:06 PM (zDsvJ)

33
<<<kids will love to unpack the eggs>>>>

Uh huh. But its the tomatoes that they really like to unpack.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at November 28, 2013 05:06 PM (caCiW)

34 That egger thing would work if you were one of those bicoastal multimansion people I guess.

Posted by: Bigby's Boxing Gloves at November 28, 2013 05:06 PM (RLTt1)

35 Heh! Our local version of Crutchfield is Cambridge Soundworks. It's an uppity store that sells, get this, average stereo systems. Also: Tweeter stores. There's a sucker born...

Posted by: soothsayer is connectin the dots at November 28, 2013 05:07 PM (AgDKM)

36 OK, I had it sort of right: http://www.egglandsbest.com/health-and-nutrition/superior-nutrition.aspx

Posted by: Y-not at November 28, 2013 05:07 PM (zDsvJ)

37 But, people are idiots, so this thing will sell. Maybe almost as well as the "Uncle Si Chia Pet" http://tinyurl.com/nebrhm2 Posted by: shredded chi at November 28, 2013 09:03 PM (N3+X9) I remember seeing that in a suburban St. Louis WalMart a few months back. There was a lot of Duck Dynasty stuff in the store but when I saw that I was stunned.

Posted by: Vendette at November 28, 2013 05:07 PM (MpP9p)

38 Black Friday shopping?

*holds up cross and garlic*

Nooooo, no! Begone, foul spirit!

Posted by: JeanQueenie at November 28, 2013 05:07 PM (82lr7)

39 I'm not a fan of the brand, because more often than not I'd crack an egg and then have to remove red spots.

Posted by: Vendette at November 28, 2013 09:03 PM (MpP9p)

That ain't kosher.

Posted by: Jimbo at November 28, 2013 05:08 PM (V70Uh)

40 I think L, elle needs one of those things. I can pitch in, hold on, **checks pockets** 23Â¢,,, and what's left of this Tootsie Roll Pop.

Posted by: teej at November 28, 2013 05:08 PM (ma+gB)

41 Sharper Image is a piker, Hammecher Schlemmer is the place for the monied brat.

How about this, an iPod dock, check the price: http://www.hammacher.com/Product/12349

Posted by: Mike Hammer at November 28, 2013 05:08 PM (aDwsi)

42 My mother, who these days cooks for herself and my deadbeat brother, has every kitchen gadget known to man. If this thing shows up on QVC, it'll show up in her kitchen.

Oh, and further to my ISON kick, guess who is on Twitter? @ISONReborn

Posted by: Retread at November 28, 2013 05:08 PM (IiAs3)

43 <<>>> Why Harry Reid owns four.

Posted by: Bigby's Boxing Gloves at November 28, 2013 05:08 PM (RLTt1)

44 I'm still power watching all 3 seasons of Person of Interest. Unfortunately, I came to the episode where the female doctor's "wife" is being threatened. And i predict in the near future to not refer to a gay person's fuck buddy as a husband or wife will result in people being dragged into HR.

Posted by: The commenting software at November 28, 2013 05:09 PM (kkbgQ)

45 When the neighbors and friends forget to give me eggs, I usually buy the Eggland's Best Brand.

Posted by: garrett at November 28, 2013 05:09 PM (m8Yn8)

46 Wow, It's actually comfortable!

Posted by: Sandra Fluke at November 28, 2013 05:10 PM (VIaw0)

47 OK that was formatting fail

Posted by: Bigby's Boxing Gloves at November 28, 2013 05:10 PM (RLTt1)

48 Mike Hammer, how about FAO Shwarz toy stores? oh dear what a ripoff -- I think they were featured in that Tom Hanks movie, I forget the name...a kid magically turned into a griwn up.

Posted by: soothsayer is connectin the dots at November 28, 2013 05:10 PM (AgDKM)

49 I know this is off topic but I really should look at the TV Guide. I would have watched Charlie BrownÂ’s Thanksgiving.

Posted by: Carol at November 28, 2013 05:11 PM (z4WKX)

50 I wish there was a perfect way to peel a hardboiled egg.

Posted by: The commenting software at November 28, 2013 05:11 PM (kkbgQ)

51 Oh and liberal sisters thinks all Drs should be forced, forced I say, to take any and all patients not matter what the plan including medicaid and medicare. You might want to remind your siblings that no one has to be a doctor. If they can't make sufficient money at it, they'll quit and pick a new career. (Other thread leftovers.) Posted by: andycanuck at November 28, 2013 09:05 PM (ZyZIo) She is a liberal and a former teacher with a huge pension and also plays for the other team. Get the picture?

Posted by: Nevergiveup at November 28, 2013 05:11 PM (nzKvP)

52 >>I can't imagine what the supposed advantage would be of an egg-shaped lip balm. Easier to find in your purse!!

Posted by: Mama AJ at November 28, 2013 05:11 PM (SUKHu)

53 Just what do you think you're doing, Dave? I know we're out of eggs and you should order some more from base.

Posted by: HAL 9000 at November 28, 2013 05:11 PM (ZyZIo)

54 Leftovers are sent home with guests. Mrs Lester buys these aluminum pie plate things and disperses the goodies as lumpy looking tv dinners. There is nothing left but big baking dishes soaking in the sink. I'll unload the dishwasher in the morning and take out the garbage. As far as the egg counter minder goes, if you are too stupid to keep a running inventory of eggs from your own refrigerator in your head, you won't have enough smarts to use the damn thing anyway. A chia head might be a better gift.

Posted by: Lester at November 28, 2013 05:12 PM (2UPXV)

55 Posted by: Mike Hammer at November 28, 2013 09:08 PM (aDwsi) Ah, yes. The Skymall catalog. A nice distraction when you're on a plane. Personally, there are some things I would find useful. But there are a whole bunch more I wouldn't find useful and I wonder who the suckers are that buy them.

Posted by: Vendette at November 28, 2013 05:12 PM (MpP9p)

56 Mike Hammer, how about FAO Shwarz toy stores? oh dear what a ripoff --- Water Tower Place in Chicago has a store in it right now selling formerly "lost" or unknown Dr. Seuss art. Except when I looked at the stuff, it wasn't originals and I'm not even sure some of it was actually derived from his originals. Sorta sounded like someone went in after his death and finished up stuff he'd started. But the prices were sure like they were originals.

Posted by: Y-not at November 28, 2013 05:13 PM (zDsvJ)

57 We get a lot of eggs from a friend's chicken. This device needs another piece that connects to the chickens' butts.

Posted by: Mama AJ at November 28, 2013 05:13 PM (SUKHu)

58 39 Of this thing shows up on QVC, it'll show up in her kitchen. Sounds like my GFs mom. I got some Saran wrap/foil holders for Christmas last year that are harder to use than the box they come in. Last week I saw that "spin mop" that you see on TV over there - $70, I think. For a $10 mop and bucket. The expandable hoses, plumbing tape crap, everything on TV. And then she complains about not having any money.

Posted by: shredded chi at November 28, 2013 05:13 PM (N3+X9)

59 Y, why are you in Chicago?

Posted by: soothsayer is connectin the dots at November 28, 2013 05:14 PM (AgDKM)

FIRST I LOOK AT THE PURSE

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r8ioa_7axug

Posted by: The Contours at November 28, 2013 05:14 PM (m8Yn8)

61 The Si Chia Pet will look so smashing next to the Obama Chia Pet from six years ago. The Si one if if had his sayings on a built in MP3 player might be amusing. But would have to be water-proof. Well BCochran you have time to prepare. And back to writing I go. Have fun.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at November 28, 2013 05:14 PM (MeVdV)

62 Does it come with a bacon minder? Because the bacon is all that really matters.

Posted by: Bigby's Boxing Gloves at November 28, 2013 05:14 PM (RLTt1)

63
I guess I do have a chance with my invention of the "toothpick-minder"!

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at November 28, 2013 05:15 PM (caCiW)

64 >>Easier to find in your purse!! OK, that's a theory. Not sure I'm terribly convinced that that outweighs winding up with a flattened disk that smears all over my face, but at least it's a possible reason.

Posted by: Y-not at November 28, 2013 05:15 PM (zDsvJ)

65
Just the thing to run down to the store for eggs

http://www.hammacher.com/Product/10954?promo=search

Posted by: Mike Hammer at November 28, 2013 05:15 PM (aDwsi)

66 10 At what point does 'progress' begin to regress our civilization? Posted by: soothsayer is connectin the dots at November 28, 2013 08:59 PM (AgDKM) I think when the word "progressive" was coined.

Posted by: rickl at November 28, 2013 05:15 PM (sdi6R)

67 >>Y, why are you in Chicago? Oh, sorry, I was there for a lightning fast visit. Went to the BYU v ND game with some of my husband's work colleagues (and husband, of course), then spent a couple of days eating... ...very very well.

Posted by: Y-not at November 28, 2013 05:16 PM (zDsvJ)

68 Lib Rag Salon: Â“Thanksgiving Is For SociopathsÂ” Could these people be any more miserable? Weasel Zippers: Are all liberals miserable bastards liker my sister?

Posted by: Nevergiveup at November 28, 2013 05:16 PM (nzKvP)

FIRST I LOOK AT THE PURSE

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T406st4Fb9k

Posted by: NASHVILLE PUSSY at November 28, 2013 05:16 PM (m8Yn8)

70 And back to writing I go. Have fun. Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at November 28, 2013 09:14 PM Enjoy and type productively. I know you can multitask!

Posted by: NaCly Dog at November 28, 2013 05:17 PM (u82oZ)

71 Hello, HAL. Do you read me, HAL? Unhook the egg-counting device from the chicken's vag, HAL.

Posted by: dr. dave bowman at November 28, 2013 05:17 PM (ZyZIo)

72 Mini-rant, and even on topic:

McDs sells a sausage McMuffin for a buck. But add an egg to it, and they want Three Freakin' Dollars for it.

Um, dudes, that's an 11 cent overcooked rubbery egg you're trying to charge me Two Dollars for.

May the fleas of a thousand syphilitic camels infest your crotches.

(actually, the buck McMuffin is a pretty good deal)

Posted by: GnuBreed at November 28, 2013 05:17 PM (cHZB7)

73 8 The Brown ones are more likely to go bad.

Profiling eggs by color is racist.

Posted by: Anachronda at November 28, 2013 05:17 PM (U82Km)

74 A gizmo to count the number of beers you have left and send a phone notification would sell a lot better IMO.

Posted by: Purp[/i][/b][/s] at November 28, 2013 05:17 PM (Xlbr8)

75 OK, speaking of shopping. Can anyone (moronettes esp) recommend a place where i could find a gift wrapping organizer type thingy, either wall mounted or whatever? I want something that will hold rolls (preferably dispenser) and supplies, but I don't want it to be some ugly utilitarian plastic thingy. I'm sure someone sells these, but no luck so far.

Posted by: Y-not at November 28, 2013 05:18 PM (zDsvJ)

76 What I really need is a device that sends an electric shock to family members when they fail to put something we're almost out of on the grocery list.

Posted by: Mama AJ at November 28, 2013 05:19 PM (SUKHu)

77 I saw Buck McMuffin open for Rodney Dangerfield at the Tralf waaay back in 1972

Posted by: Bigby's Boxing Gloves at November 28, 2013 05:19 PM (RLTt1)

78 The expandable hoses, plumbing tape crap, everything on TV. And then she complains about not having any money.

Posted by: shredded chi at November 28, 2013 09:13 PM (N3+X9)

Ding, ding, ding!

BTW, my mother has those saran wrap / tinfoil tingies, in a drawer so you have to unpack half the drawer to get it out, then fight with it to get the foil out of it. Yeah, great idea. How much did those cost, mom?

Posted by: Retread at November 28, 2013 05:19 PM (IiAs3)

79 Posted by: Y-not at November 28, 2013 09:18 PM (zDsvJ) The Container Store?

Posted by: Vendette at November 28, 2013 05:19 PM (MpP9p)

80 Stillers messed up their FG attempt.

Posted by: logprof at November 28, 2013 05:20 PM (fETNt)

81 >>73 What I really need is a device that sends an electric shock OK, I'd buy that.

Posted by: Y-not at November 28, 2013 05:20 PM (zDsvJ)

82 Y-not, how about Container Store?

Posted by: Steck at November 28, 2013 05:20 PM (wUtlW)

83 I think you just described a cardboard box...

Posted by: Purp[/i][/b][/s] at November 28, 2013 05:21 PM (Xlbr8)

84 Easier to find in your purse!! Let's not get into a discussion of why you have so much shit in your purse, you need chapstick shaped like an egg to find it, Mama... Just clean out the fuzzy tic tacs and six years of keys that fit no lock in the universe, and you can find your chapstick shaped line - chapstick!

Posted by: shredded chi at November 28, 2013 05:21 PM (N3+X9)

85 I want something that will hold rolls (preferably dispenser) and supplies, but I don't want it to be some ugly utilitarian plastic thingy.

I'm sure someone sells these, but no luck so far.

Posted by: Y-not at November 28, 2013 09:18 PM (zDsvJ)

Got any high-end stores near you that still do gift wrapping? See what they use.

Posted by: Retread at November 28, 2013 05:21 PM (IiAs3)

86 I shop at Big Box stores!

Posted by: sandy fluke at November 28, 2013 05:21 PM (ZyZIo)

87 This is a yoke, right?

Posted by: Foghorn Leghorn at November 28, 2013 05:22 PM (l0lja)

88 Just clean out the fuzzy tic tacs and six years of keys that fit no lock in the universe, and you can find your chapstick shaped line - chapstick!

Chapstick, coat pocket, some assembly required.

Posted by: Retread at November 28, 2013 05:23 PM (IiAs3)

89 >>The Container Store? Good idea, but I looked already and couldn't find what I wanted. I think there's a Martha Stewart line of furniture for crafting that might have something. I have a desk already, though.

Posted by: Y-not at November 28, 2013 05:23 PM (zDsvJ)

90 Posted by: shredded chi at November 28, 2013 09:21 PM (N3+X9) It may be just me, but the size of my purse/bag doesn't matter. I can cram enough stuff in it that when I'm looking for something you'd think I had Mary Poppins' bag.

Posted by: Vendette at November 28, 2013 05:23 PM (MpP9p)

91 Ugly utilitarian plastic thingy FTW! (Sorry, Y-not)

I use plastic "underbed storage" boxes for wrapping paper rolls, ribbons, tape etc.

Posted by: JeanQueenie at November 28, 2013 05:23 PM (82lr7)

92 A yoke? Neigh

Posted by: Bigby's Boxing Gloves at November 28, 2013 05:23 PM (RLTt1)

93 I am so ova this gift idea.

Posted by: logprof at November 28, 2013 05:24 PM (fETNt)

94

I'm sure someone sells these, but no luck so far. Posted by: Y-not at November 28, 2013 09:18 PM

Home Depot - two 2 x 6 boards, dowels, drill, wall screws. optional: paint

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at November 28, 2013 05:24 PM (caCiW)

95 I'll be open for business at midnight tonight!!

Posted by: Sandra Fluke at November 28, 2013 05:24 PM (DI+ja)

96 Could these people be any more miserable?
------------------------------------

The hard Left are consumed with self loathing. They, of course, project that. Unknowingly, they despise themselves, and the only relief to be found is to hate on others. That is why they are so tenacious. That is only a generalization..., most ordinary liberals are just brainwashed useful idiots.

Posted by: Mike Hammer at November 28, 2013 05:24 PM (aDwsi)

97 92 I'll be open for business at midnight tonight!! Posted by: Sandra Fluke at November 28, 2013 09:24 PM (DI+ja) --You're waiting until midnight? Why so prudish, Sandy?

Posted by: logprof at November 28, 2013 05:25 PM (fETNt)

98 You guys crack me up!

Posted by: [/i]andycanuck[/b] at November 28, 2013 05:25 PM (ZyZIo)

99 Home Depot - two 2 x 6 boards, dowels, drill, wall screws. optional: paint --- Yeah, I wonder if I could assemble something. I don't have any saws though.

Posted by: Y-not at November 28, 2013 05:25 PM (zDsvJ)

100 >>--You're waiting until midnight? Why so prudish, Sandy? Posted by: logprof Had to let the cooter cool down.

Posted by: Sandra Fluke at November 28, 2013 05:26 PM (DI+ja)

101 What you need is a wall mounted gun rack wide enough to accommodate the paper rolls. Shove a long dowel through the tube, then stick that in the gun rack. Done.

Posted by: Purp[/i][/b][/s] at November 28, 2013 05:26 PM (Xlbr8)

102 >>Let's not get into a discussion of why you have so much shit in your purse, you need chapstick shaped like an egg to find it, Mama... Maybe. *adjusts web cam away from purse*

Posted by: Mama AJ at November 28, 2013 05:26 PM (SUKHu)

103

Just clean out the fuzzy tic tacs and six years of keys that fit no lock
in the universe

Don't forget the spiders.

Posted by: garrett at November 28, 2013 05:26 PM (m8Yn8)

104 Got any high-end stores near you that still do gift wrapping? See what they use. -- Good idea, too. I did find the big metal industrial rolls online.

Posted by: Y-not at November 28, 2013 05:27 PM (zDsvJ)

105 I know, Vendette. BTDT. "Honey, will you go grab *X* for me? It's in my purse." (me) "Um, I think it'll be quicker of I just go to the store and buy a new one. Maybe even if I order it from Amazon."

Posted by: shredded chi at November 28, 2013 05:27 PM (N3+X9)

106 Expensive Martha wall hutch at Home Depot: http://tinyurl.com/kykf9pq

Posted by: Mama AJ at November 28, 2013 05:28 PM (SUKHu)

107 Who has ever had an egg go bad?

Come. Sit.

Posted by: Helen Thomas at November 28, 2013 05:29 PM (Itzfc)

108 Y-not, billiard cue rack?

Posted by: Steck at November 28, 2013 05:29 PM (wUtlW)

109 Y not what you're looking for is called a butcher paper roll dispenser with cutter. They go for around 40 50$

Posted by: Bigby's Boxing Gloves at November 28, 2013 05:30 PM (RLTt1)

110 90 I am so ova this gift idea. Posted by: logprof at November 28, 2013 09:24 PM (fETNt) Eggcellent!

Posted by: USA at November 28, 2013 05:30 PM (VIaw0)

111 Yeah, I wonder if I could assemble something. I don't have any saws though.

Posted by: Y-not at November 28, 2013 09:25 PM (zDsvJ)

Home Depot, when they're slow, will cut to length.

Posted by: Retread at November 28, 2013 05:30 PM (IiAs3)

112 Y-not Maybe a teacher supply store? I have never been in one, but we have quite a few in strip malls around here.

Posted by: shredded chi at November 28, 2013 05:30 PM (N3+X9)

113 "Honey, will you go grab *X* for me? It's in my purse." (me) "Um, I think it'll be quicker of I just go to the store and buy a new one. Maybe even if I order it from Amazon." Posted by: shredded chi at November 28, 2013 09:27 PM (N3+X9) --For a couple of months the wifey and I were down to sharing the spare key for her car. Last week, she found her copy of the key . . . buried in her purse.

Posted by: logprof at November 28, 2013 05:31 PM (fETNt)

114 We get a lot of eggs from a friend's chicken.

This device needs another piece that connects to the chickens' butts.

The "butt' would be the wrong place to connect. I believe it should go on the "egghole."

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at November 28, 2013 05:31 PM (Itzfc)

115 OK, Pottery Barn has some interesting options.

Posted by: Y-not at November 28, 2013 05:32 PM (zDsvJ)

116 I DO NOT go into Mrs. Hammer's purse. Absolutely no way I would consider it. I can't think of an analogy..., perhaps entering a minefield.

Posted by: Mike Hammer at November 28, 2013 05:32 PM (aDwsi)

117 47 I wish there was a perfect way to peel a hardboiled egg.

Dunk them in cold water after boiling.

Posted by: Norm at November 28, 2013 05:32 PM (cy1le)

118 Kelly file showing Reagan's speech at Normandy.

Posted by: Mike Hammer at November 28, 2013 05:33 PM (aDwsi)

119 The "butt' would be the wrong place to connect. I believe it should go on the "egghole."

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at November 28, 2013 09:31 PM (Itzfc)

Makes all the difference!

Chicken anatomy...how does it work??

Posted by: Retread at November 28, 2013 05:33 PM (IiAs3)

120 To peel an egg roll it on the table

Posted by: Bigby's Boxing Gloves at November 28, 2013 05:33 PM (RLTt1)

121 --For a couple of months the wifey and I were down to sharing the spare key for her car. Last week, she found her copy of the key . . . buried in her purse. Posted by: logprof at November 28, 2013 09:31 PM (fETNt) I once couldn't find the key to my mailbox. Looked everywhere. Finally got a replacement lock and key set for the cost of $30. Where did I find the original key? In my purse, but there was a hole in the lining and it had slipped under there.

Posted by: Vendette at November 28, 2013 05:33 PM (MpP9p)

122 116 The "butt' would be the wrong place to connect. I believe it should go on the "egghole." Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at November 28, 2013 09:31 PM (Itzfc) Makes all the difference! Chicken anatomy...how does it work?? Posted by: Retread at November 28, 2013 09:33 PM (IiAs3) --Guess what? Chicken butt.

Posted by: logprof at November 28, 2013 05:33 PM (fETNt)

123
Get your hubby a power miter saw for Christmas.

Actually Home Depot will cut the first 4 cuts free of charge if you really wanted to be crafty.

I just looked this up for you, I like to encourage self sufficiency. I promise you that you can do it.

http://tinyurl.com/ya2qxh6

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at November 28, 2013 05:34 PM (caCiW)

124

The "butt' would be the wrong place to connect. I believe it should go on the "egghole."

At this point, what does it matter?

Posted by: The Chicken at November 28, 2013 05:35 PM (m8Yn8)

125 Oh and liberal sisters thinks all Drs should be forced, forced I say, to take any and all patients If your sister is Cuban, that might explain a lot.

Posted by: t-bird at November 28, 2013 05:35 PM (FcR7P)

126 119 cracked me up

Posted by: Bigby's Boxing Gloves at November 28, 2013 05:36 PM (RLTt1)

127

If you throw a hard boiled egg hard enough at the wall, the shell will fall off and the egg will bounce back.

Try it.

Posted by: garrett at November 28, 2013 05:36 PM (m8Yn8)

128 113 I DO NOT go into Mrs. Hammer's purse. Absolutely no way I would consider it. I can't think of an analogy..., perhaps entering a minefield. Posted by: Mike Hammer at November 28, 2013 09:32 PM (aDwsi) Sticking your hands into a box of vipers to put the pin back in a live grenade?

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at November 28, 2013 05:36 PM (GEICT)

129 'rons and 'ettes ... ... have a good Thanksgiving. Be careful.

Posted by: ScoggDog at November 28, 2013 05:36 PM (6/+vz)

130 It doesn't work. Mine always indicated bad eggs.

Posted by: Sandy Fluke at November 28, 2013 05:37 PM (VIaw0)

131 What is it with the women that are wearing necklaces with Large stones. Every time I see that, I think, "Wilma Flintstone". Who the hell put that fashion into place?

Posted by: Mike Hammer at November 28, 2013 05:37 PM (aDwsi)

132 I ASSumed the egghole was in the general "butt" vicinity. I sit corrected. You guys crack me up and eggucate me at the same time.

Posted by: Mama AJ at November 28, 2013 05:37 PM (SUKHu)

133 Fargin eggholes

Posted by: Bigby's Boxing Gloves at November 28, 2013 05:38 PM (RLTt1)

134 I DO NOT go into Mrs. Hammer's purse. Absolutely no way I would consider it. I can't think of an analogy..., perhaps entering a minefield. Posted by: Mike Hammer at November 28, 2013 09:32 PM (aDwsi) "Honey, would you go the store and buy me (whatever feminine hygiene product she prefers)?"

Posted by: Vendette at November 28, 2013 05:38 PM (MpP9p)

135 --Guess what?

Chicken butt.

Never cared to inspect one so closely...just collected the eggs.

Posted by: Retread at November 28, 2013 05:39 PM (IiAs3)

136 Now that I've had so much wine and beer for dinner I just want to express my appreciation for the female members of life. Thanks ladies, I had a lot of fun tonight. And thanks to the pie makers of the world. Also, my sister finally calmed down with all the ZeroCare bullshit so all is well, and she and my brother are no longer throwing insults at each other. All is well. Thanksgiving is the best holiday, evah.

Posted by: MTF at November 28, 2013 05:40 PM (XXIrM)

137 "Honey, would you go the store and buy me (whatever feminine hygiene product she prefers)?" Posted by: Vendette at November 28, 2013 09:38 PM (MpP9p) --I don't have any qualms about buying those things; I usually am just worried about buying the wrong kind.

Posted by: logprof at November 28, 2013 05:40 PM (fETNt)

138 I saw Fuzzy Tic Tacs open for the Psychedelic Furs back in 92.

Posted by: shredded chi at November 28, 2013 05:41 PM (N3+X9)

139

WHAT'S INSIDE A GIRL?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yAJ7l7Jojsc

Posted by: The Cramps at November 28, 2013 05:42 PM (m8Yn8)

140
Egg solution:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T58eJQ9TraM

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at November 28, 2013 05:43 PM (caCiW)

141 logproof - Whatever I am sent to purchase, will not be at the store. There will be every other variety, size, shape, color, flavor, whatever..., but not what I have been dispatched to purchase.

Posted by: Mike Hammer at November 28, 2013 05:43 PM (aDwsi)

142 Kelly file showing Reagan's speech at Normandy. Posted by: Mike Hammer at November 28, 2013 09:33 PM (aDwsi) I was watching it and feel like slapping Noonan. IÂ’m still pissed off at her & other so called Â“conservativesÂ” that believed the bullshit of the SCOAMF. She should apologize to her readers. I have WSJ subscription, online version and wonÂ’t read anything she writes.

Posted by: Carol at November 28, 2013 05:43 PM (z4WKX)

143 What this thread needs is a good Hillary quote:

Â“Come on Bill, put your d**k up! You canÂ’t f**k her here!!Â”

Inside the White House by Ronald Kessler, p.243-Hillary to Gov. Clinton when she spots him talking with an attractive female.

I can hardly wait for the insider accounts of the current regime.

Posted by: GnuBreed at November 28, 2013 05:44 PM (cHZB7)

144 The answer is Nine Pies. What are the two words that strike fear in Washington, D.C. plumbers tonight?

Posted by: USA at November 28, 2013 05:44 PM (VIaw0)

145 Thankful for all you members of the horde. T-day supper is eaten, dishwasher running, and the drinking has started.

Posted by: PaleRider at November 28, 2013 05:45 PM (cQZV0)

146 --Guess what?Â Chicken butt. Heh. That's exactly what i said to the min-pin when I gave him T-day dinner this evening. He got some of the butt flap mixed in with his kibbles.

Posted by: shredded chi at November 28, 2013 05:45 PM (N3+X9)

147 Baby Bigby wouldn't eat much or sleep much the whole time we were over at my sister's, he just loves hanging out so much and he seems to think he's going to miss something. Now he's out for the night.

Posted by: Bigby's Boxing Gloves at November 28, 2013 05:45 PM (oLYU8)

148 IÂ”m going to get a glass of wine now!

Posted by: Carol at November 28, 2013 05:46 PM (z4WKX)

149 Thanks for all the great ideas!

Posted by: Y-not at November 28, 2013 05:46 PM (zDsvJ)

150 Posted by: Bigby's Boxing Gloves at November 28, 2013 09:45 PM (oLYU

Lemme guess: He's a big flirt.

Posted by: Vendette at November 28, 2013 05:47 PM (MpP9p)

151 147 dunno. He's a laff riot though, very happy

Posted by: Bigby's Boxing Gloves at November 28, 2013 05:48 PM (RLTt1)

152 Bigby, aww so sweet. I've been wondering how he was doing.

Posted by: PaleRider at November 28, 2013 05:48 PM (cQZV0)

153 Bigby, he's a big flirt too. And that's a very good thing!

Posted by: Vendette at November 28, 2013 05:49 PM (MpP9p)

154 Doing good. Starting teeth, crawling soon. Still small, but a great kid.

Posted by: Bigby's Boxing Gloves at November 28, 2013 05:50 PM (RLTt1)

155 Football game #3 thread up.

Posted by: Vendette at November 28, 2013 05:51 PM (MpP9p)

156 Bigby, I'm so happy that he's doing well!

Posted by: Vendette at November 28, 2013 05:52 PM (MpP9p)

157 Vendette biggest problem is all the colds. He gets them all. One of these days I'll post up another vid, you'll see

Posted by: Bigby's Boxing Gloves at November 28, 2013 05:54 PM (BKkwv)

158 OK night all

Posted by: Bigby's Boxing Gloves at November 28, 2013 05:55 PM (qXGJ2)

159 Good night, Bigby, Mrs. Bigby, and Littleby!

Posted by: Vendette at November 28, 2013 05:55 PM (MpP9p)

160 Dancing egg!

Posted by: Purp[/i][/b][/s] at November 28, 2013 05:57 PM (Xlbr8)

161
Gnubreed asks for a good Hillary quote. Done!

"Fuck off! It's enough I have to see you shit kickers every day, I'm not going to talk to you too! Just do your Goddamn job and keep your mouth shut!"

The scrunt was speaking to the Arkansas State Troopers protecting her and her pervert husband.

Posted by: Doctor Fish at November 28, 2013 06:01 PM (pJF+c)

162 Here's a great way to prepare eggs. I's called a "shirred egg". Take a 4" porcelain ramekin and put in on smallest burner on medium. Turn in your oven broiler and position rack up top. Melt a full tablespoon or more in the ramekin and when it's bubbling break an egg into it. Add seasoning and chopped up sausage or bacon. Put a dab of crÃ¨me fraiche on top (recipe below). Let it bubble and cook for a minute or so. Move ramekin under broiler. Broil until whites are firm but yolk is still runny. Top with a little chopped parsley. Move ramekin to plate. Remember that the ramekin is very very hot. Eat with a spoon. The objective is an excuse to eat a tablespoon of butter. Passable crÃ¨me fraiche: Fill a creamer with ~6 ounces of sweet cream. Add 2 tbs cultured buttermilk. Stir. Leave out on counter overnight.

Posted by: RokShox at November 28, 2013 06:01 PM (8MMMw)

163

Happy Thanksgiving, Goode Fappers! Had an excellent time with friends and family, and nobody brought up politics. Well, I did hear a couple in a side dining room start ripping on Sarah and "I can see Russia from my house". Five years into the worst, most destructive administration on record, and they are still -- STILL! -- bringing up Palin as though they are scoring major debate points. But I did not engage, I did not feed the energy beast, and strangely enough, it didn't even faze me this time. Deep down, they're just trying to console themselves.

How did y'alls's turkey day go?

Posted by: All Hail Eris at November 28, 2013 06:03 PM (QBm1P)

164 I've got 6 egg minders out back and mist lay an egg every 26 hours. You can't beat a fresh egg. Well you can when you want scrambled eggs.

Posted by: TexBob at November 28, 2013 06:17 PM (6S4Ai)

165 RokShox @ 60
Ramekin? What's a ramekin? Is it anything like the 'bacon bowl' cooker? Saw that one this AM while cooking. Wrap the bacon around this melmac-sort of thing and put it in the wave. Makes a perfect bacon bowl to put lesser foodstuffs in. gotta have it.

Posted by: EROWMER at November 28, 2013 06:30 PM (OONaw)

166 @163. Perhaps a bacon bowl could substitute for a ramekin. Turn on the fan.

Posted by: RokShox at November 28, 2013 06:32 PM (8MMMw)

167 The Egg Minder might be a handy item for Camp Geezer.
We get all our eggs from under our chickens. Of course I would have to establish some sort of bar-code system to keep the egg inventory straight.

Posted by: Retired Geezer at November 28, 2013 08:55 PM (NsK7F)

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