Ace of Spades HQ

September 25, 2013

Great: Spiders Now Flying In Texas
— Ace

Thousands of North Texans are asking, Â“What are those long, silky strings floating in the air?Â” Turns out theyÂ’re the webs of spiders in their annual migration to better hunting grounds, and surprising a lot of people.
...
TheyÂ’re called Â“ballooningÂ” or Â“floatingÂ” webs made by young, migrating spiders. Â“ThereÂ’s some that produce a ball like a balloon, and thereÂ’s some they call tent spiders because they create almost like a triangle,Â” according to Texas A&M Agrilife horticulturist Patrick Dickinson.
...
Dickinson says the migration is so widespread it can be witnessed across the globe. Â“In Brazil they do it this time of year when they look for the flight of the spiders, and the skies will literally be clouded by the shrouds of these strings from the spiders.Â”

Under ObamaCare you will be entitled to have 400% as many flying hunting spiders landing in your mouth.

Thanks to @rdbrewer4.

Posted by: Ace at 03:14 PM | Comments (161)
Post contains 164 words, total size 1 kb.

1 Ace,

You have a few readers of this blog who may be a little squeamish about this topic.

I for one welcome our arachnid overlords.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at September 25, 2013 03:16 PM (gqgiP)

2 What's worse are the spiders that live in your mattress and lay eggs in your ears.

Posted by: Dr Spank at September 25, 2013 03:16 PM (9jLim)

3 Why are so many people surprised at ballooning spiders? Did they not ever watch Charlotte's Web?

Posted by: logprof at September 25, 2013 03:16 PM (bufJH)

4 Already got my allotment thank you...

http://annapuna.blogspot.com/2013/09/giant-spider-attack.html

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at September 25, 2013 03:16 PM (/WGNb)

5 Charlotte's Web

Posted by: panzernashorn at September 25, 2013 03:17 PM (MhA4j)

6 *clears throat*

ARRRGGHHHH

AARRGGHHHH

ARRRGGHHHHH

*points wildly*

I told you about Outside. I TOLD YOU!

*falls over in horror*

Posted by: alexthechick - Really Universe Really? at September 25, 2013 03:18 PM (Gk3SS)

7 Young migrating spiders... spinning the floating webs that American spiders can't be bothered to spin.

Posted by: soothsayer at September 25, 2013 03:18 PM (tdFUM)

8 This is a thing. I read that newly formed islands in the ocean...their first visitors are lucky spiders who flew out to sea.

Posted by: joeindc44 at September 25, 2013 03:18 PM (1RFUG)

9 BTW if you google "Obamacare glitch" you get 22 million entries.

LIB.

Posted by: PJ at September 25, 2013 03:18 PM (ZWaLo)

10 This is now. That was then. ObamaCare Is Â‘The Law of the LandÂ’ RUSH: So Was Â‘SlaveryÂ’ At One Time

Posted by: panzernashorn at September 25, 2013 03:19 PM (MhA4j)

11 So that new Pakistani island will soon be over run with Islamic spiders?

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at September 25, 2013 03:19 PM (/WGNb)

12 Spiders my ass. Those are baby sharks with lasers in search of a sharknado.

Posted by: Xavier at September 25, 2013 03:19 PM (qBxO9)

13 Definitely end times.

Posted by: Sammie at September 25, 2013 03:19 PM (7jDXZ)

14 The thing I remember most about Houston is the flying roaches (aka palmetto bugs). The only ones that didn't fly were to big to achieve the necessary lift.

I did not care for Houston.

Posted by: pep at September 25, 2013 03:19 PM (6TB1Z)

15 *clears throat*

ARRRGGHHHH

AARRGGHHHH

ARRRGGHHHHH

*points wildly*

I told you about Outside. I TOLD YOU!

*falls over in horror*

Posted by: alexthechick - Really Universe Really? at September 25, 2013 07:18 PM (Gk3SS)

I bet I sound pretty good right about now.

Posted by: Face Sized Spider at September 25, 2013 03:19 PM (doBIb)

16 *couriers to AlextheChick a plate of brownies and a large glass of milk*

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at September 25, 2013 03:20 PM (/WGNb)

migrating spiders...

Apparently getting rid of the insects we don't want?

Sounds racist

Posted by: meh at September 25, 2013 03:20 PM (W2qJe)

18 I once killed a mama wolf spider that was carrying the brood on her back. Freaked me out man. Why is it still moving? (shudder)

Posted by: nip at September 25, 2013 03:21 PM (jI23+)

19 But the guy in the vid assures us that these are the GOOD spiders.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at September 25, 2013 03:21 PM (DmNpO)

20 I read that newly formed islands in the ocean...their first visitors are lucky spiders who flew out to sea.

Oh, go to hell

Posted by: pseudo-ATC visiting Pakistan at September 25, 2013 03:21 PM (6TB1Z)

21 FLAME
THROWER
ON

Posted by: weft cut-loop [/i] [/b] at September 25, 2013 03:21 PM (ligos)

22 Where's Y-not, she loves spiders, doesn't she?

Posted by: Dr Spank at September 25, 2013 03:21 PM (9jLim)

23 Rocket J. Arachnid

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at September 25, 2013 03:21 PM (8ZskC)

24 Why.... you young whipper snapper... why do ya think they used spider silk for parachutes!

Posted by: Veteran of the 42nd Arachnid Air Squadron, The Black Widows at September 25, 2013 03:22 PM (lZBBB)

25 Do not get me started on Ticks.

Posted by: nip at September 25, 2013 03:22 PM (jI23+)

26 It almost makes this seem tame:

http://youtu.be/4E5vUUtSWT4

Posted by: Face Sized Spider at September 25, 2013 03:22 PM (doBIb)

27 Aerial Spigration?

Posted by: The Aristoclowns at September 25, 2013 03:22 PM (/w4pj)

28
Hey, it could be worse.

http://tinyurl.com/ng7qac

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at September 25, 2013 03:22 PM (TIIx5)

29 3 Why are so many people surprised at ballooning spiders? Did they not ever watch Charlotte's Web?

Posted by: logprof at September 25, 2013 07:16 PM (bufJH)

One thing's for certain: E. B. White would be absolutely disgusted by Cruz's shenanigans on the senate floor. Eleventy Pinocchio noses!!1

Posted by: Politifarce at September 25, 2013 03:23 PM (TCWb5)

30 I hate all of you.

Posted by: alexthechick - Really Universe Really? at September 25, 2013 03:23 PM (Gk3SS)

31 See? You Gringo's think a fence will keep us out???

Posted by: Illegal Arachnid at September 25, 2013 03:23 PM (lZBBB)

32 29-nice

Posted by: nip at September 25, 2013 03:23 PM (jI23+)

33 All they need now is Toilet Clowns

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at September 25, 2013 03:23 PM (8ZskC)

34 Already got my allotment thank you... *** An agriope. We call the Banana Spiders. I love those, unless I walk into one of their webs.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at September 25, 2013 03:23 PM (DmNpO)

35 In Texas, the tarantulas are so big ..
well, they're big. They don't fly, but they walk out onto the road and wave their legs at you as you drive by, like they're trying to catch you or something.

Posted by: Olle Gustafson at September 25, 2013 03:24 PM (elC5f)

36 Dam.... I hate spiders....

Posted by: Capt. John Rico, Rico's Roughnecks at September 25, 2013 03:25 PM (lZBBB)

37 It almost makes this seem tame: *** Nothing makes that look tame. It remains one of the most disgusting and disturbing things I've ever seen.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at September 25, 2013 03:25 PM (DmNpO)

38 Excuse me why I whip this out : http://tinyurl.com/poo8po6

Posted by: Dr Spank at September 25, 2013 03:25 PM (9jLim)

39 >>>You have a few readers of this blog who may be a little squeamish about this topic.

i know. I did it on purpose.

Posted by: ace at September 25, 2013 03:25 PM (/IWYB)

40 Dam.... I hate spiders....

Posted by: Capt. John Rico, Rico's Roughnecks at September 25, 2013 07:25 PM (lZBBB)

Yeah? Well, fuck you too!

Posted by: Face Sized Spider at September 25, 2013 03:25 PM (doBIb)

41 They don't fly, but they walk out onto the road and wave their legs at you as you drive by, like they're trying to catch you or something. *** They're thumbing a ride. Duh!

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at September 25, 2013 03:25 PM (DmNpO)

42 I heard clowns do this too.

Posted by: CAC at September 25, 2013 03:26 PM (4mAJ2)

43 i'm fairly arachnophobic and I did indeed have a spider drop into my mouth when I was a kid.

I was just sitting in bed, reading, when a little son of a bitch descended on a webline into my mouth-breathing mouth.

It was not fun.

Posted by: ace at September 25, 2013 03:26 PM (/IWYB)

44 Under Ocare spiders, lice, cockroaches, and sundry vermin will rule the galaxy.

Posted by: angel with a sword at September 25, 2013 03:26 PM (hpgw1)

45 NDH, that one is about 10 ft up between two trees. There is another of same size who has set up web outside my side door. Have to use a broom to clear web away so I don't run into it.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at September 25, 2013 03:27 PM (/WGNb)

46 i know. I did it on purpose. **** Expect a fresh delivery of raptors at your door.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at September 25, 2013 03:27 PM (DmNpO)

47 Any McCain fans?

This is a headline at Think Progress:

"John McCain Defends Obamacare, Slams Ted Cruz For Comparing Implementation To Nazi Appeasement"

(safe link to bluecollarphilosophy.com )

Posted by: weft cut-loop [/i] [/b] at September 25, 2013 03:28 PM (ligos)

48 If a Giant Flying Spider landed on you, you'd be dead.

Posted by: Jesse Pinkman, PhD Bitches! at September 25, 2013 03:28 PM (T0Pku)

49 These spiders are the type that latch onto your face and then crawl into your ears and then lay their 8,000 eggs which hatch over time rather than all at once.

Posted by: kathysaysso at September 25, 2013 03:28 PM (6H6o8)

50 I was just sitting in bed, reading, when a little son of a bitch descended on a webline into my mouth-breathing mouth.

It was not fun.

Not fun for you? I couldn't get the bad smell out of my segmented hairy thorax for weeks.

Posted by: A Spider That Still Smells Like Olde English 500 at September 25, 2013 03:29 PM (8ZskC)

51 John McCain's thought process: heheh, this is my chance to score points with the media! Oh look, they're egging me on...they love me!

Posted by: soothsayer at September 25, 2013 03:30 PM (tdFUM)

52 Spiders just want to find a dark moist place to crash. While you're sleeping.

Posted by: CAC at September 25, 2013 03:31 PM (4mAJ2)

53 Why can't a certain spider that posts here go visit Senor Juan McVain?

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at September 25, 2013 03:31 PM (/WGNb)

54 Clown spider in nic

Posted by: Grover's at September 25, 2013 03:31 PM (9aKQB)

55 I am in North Texas. Damn it.

Posted by: Ragamuffin at September 25, 2013 03:31 PM (fzFF6)

56 It's the brown recluse spiders you have to worry about and they migrated into the northern states decades ago...

Posted by: Jesse Pinkman, PhD Bitches! at September 25, 2013 03:32 PM (T0Pku)

How about a flying black widow.

It had a really nasty bite.

http://tinyurl.com/alwyngk

Posted by: ExSnipe at September 25, 2013 03:33 PM (57ubW)

58 This flying spider aggression will. not. stand.

Posted by: garrett at September 25, 2013 03:33 PM (janHz)

59 I like the idea of spiders, catching and eating other bugs and whatnot. I'd just prefer they do what they do without me ever having to notice. Just stay the hell out of my house, stop popping up unexpectedly, don't leave webs where I'll walk into them, and they really need to quit it with this ninja paragliding shit. That's just, I don't even know. Quit it already.

Posted by: mugiwara at September 25, 2013 03:33 PM (hpYnL)

60 I'm indifferent towards regular spiders, but, yeah, I hate fucking spidermonkeys.

Posted by: soothsayer at September 25, 2013 03:34 PM (tdFUM)

61 >>>I was just sitting in bed, reading, when a little son of a bitch descended on a webline into my mouth-breathing mouth.

I thought I smelled Kaboom, and just wanted to share.

Jerk!

Posted by: Ace's spider stalker at September 25, 2013 03:34 PM (yxILP)

62 If i ever actually made a christmas list , few of you would ever be on it.

Posted by: willow at September 25, 2013 03:34 PM (nqBYe)

16 *couriers to AlextheChick a plate of brownies and a large glass of milk*

Is that what one usually takes after a handful of Valium?

Posted by: Cicero Kid at September 25, 2013 03:34 PM (DHQv9)

64 I want to see this new paki island. It doesn't look very wet as if it has been under the sea for millions of years. Not sure how an island can rise suddenly without volcanic activity.

Posted by: Jesse Pinkman, PhD Bitches! at September 25, 2013 03:35 PM (T0Pku)

65 Don't worry. They're harmless.

Besides, the sticky strands of spider web up to 20 feet long which sometimes float for miles probably won't land in your hair.

OK, "probably" was perhaps too strong a word.

Posted by: Hollowpoint at September 25, 2013 03:35 PM (X9Mnx)

66 Fucking Spider Monkeys can be a tedious pastime.

Posted by: garrett at September 25, 2013 03:35 PM (janHz)

67 Charlotte's Web!

Posted by: ChicagoRefugee,what supports Sam Clovis, Iowa Senate candidate who StandsWithCruz! at September 25, 2013 03:35 PM (jevZa)

68 Oh yeah, just a cute little story till one of the little beasts floats down on your neck and bites......big swollen knot for days......itsy, bitsy spider.....

Posted by: Robert17 at September 25, 2013 03:36 PM (bGQeu)

I was just sitting in bed, reading, when a little son of a bitch descended on a webline into my mouth-breathing mouth.

and the bastard said he wouldn't come in your mouth?.... oh wait...

Posted by: Capt. John Rico, Rico's Roughnecks at September 25, 2013 03:36 PM (lZBBB)

CROMULENT

Posted by: Charlotte Spider at September 25, 2013 03:37 PM (BAS5M)

71 I'm indifferent towards regular spiders, but, yeah, I hate fucking spidermonkeys.

We hate fucking goats but we do it for allah.

Posted by: The Ummah at September 25, 2013 03:37 PM (8ZskC)

72 you know maybe ace's isn't such a friendly place to hang out!

Posted by: willow at September 25, 2013 03:37 PM (nqBYe)

73 if it's Texas, it must be Ted Cruz's fault. Another giant insect on MSNBC called him a terrorist, didn't he?

off topic but interesting, from gateway pundit:

" Yesterday, The Gateway Pundit reported that two 7th graders having fun in Virginia Beach, VA were suspended from school for shooting toy airsoft guns with each other. The problem was the students, Khalid Caraballo and Aidan Clark, were on CaraballoÂ’s private property, not on school property. Today, we learned that the 7th graders have been expelled for Â“possession, handling and use of a firearm.Â” The Â“zero toleranceÂ” bureaucrats in this country have become insane. "

[by the way , if you look at the GP item, you'll notice that if Obama had a son he would look like the kid in the picture. I imagine that a toy gub qualifies as a firearm because you could set in on fire and burn your arm with it.]

Posted by: mallfly at September 25, 2013 03:38 PM (bJm7W)

74 66 Fucking Spider Monkeys can be a tedious pastime. Yeah, but 100 spider monkeys trying to fuck a greased foootball can keep a moron-ette amused for hours.

Posted by: angel with a sword at September 25, 2013 03:38 PM (hpgw1)

75 Anna and NDH,

If you go out and look at the banana spider's web they often have a tiny dew drop shaped spider living in the web with them. It is called Argyrodes and it is a thief. When the banana spider traps a bug and wraps it up it will leave it sit for a bit before dining. The little spider will creep down the web and attach a couple of drag lines to the meal and then carefully cut it out of the big spider's web. It then swings itself and its prize away to its own little web and dines at leisure. Pretty slick.

Posted by: the guy that moves pianos for a living... at September 25, 2013 03:38 PM (P/gm7)

76 Not sure how an island can rise suddenly without volcanic activity.

Clearly, the Jooos had something to do with it.

Posted by: Purp PhD/MD/Esq/Nobel Laureate[/i][/b][/u][/s] at September 25, 2013 03:39 PM (9MLX+)

I can't even think about getting into bed without performing the spider check.

You can't ever let your guard down with those little bastards.

Posted by: garrett at September 25, 2013 03:39 PM (janHz)

78 43 i'm fairly arachnophobic and I did indeed have a spider drop into my mouth when I was a kid. I was just sitting in bed, reading, when a little son of a bitch descended on a webline into my mouth-breathing mouth. It was not fun. Posted by: ace at September 25, 2013 07:26 PM (/IWYB) It was worse for him -- he got eaten.

Posted by: Jesse Pinkman, PhD Bitches! at September 25, 2013 03:39 PM (T0Pku)

79 spider terrorists!

spider facilitators!

spider promoters!

Posted by: willow at September 25, 2013 03:40 PM (nqBYe)

80 The itsy bitsy spider crawled into Ace's mouth...

Posted by: Jesse Pinkman, PhD Bitches! at September 25, 2013 03:40 PM (T0Pku)

81 They were all over my vehicle this morning once I reached work.

Posted by: dogfish at September 25, 2013 03:40 PM (nsOJa)

82 attach a couple of drag lines to the meal and then carefully cut it out of the big spider's web

Sounds like a natural born democrat

Posted by: Purp PhD/MD/Esq/Nobel Laureate[/i][/b][/u][/s] at September 25, 2013 03:40 PM (9MLX+)

83 Up jumped Ace and spit the spider out...

Posted by: Jesse Pinkman, PhD Bitches! at September 25, 2013 03:40 PM (T0Pku)

84 71 We hate fucking goats but we do it for allah. That is a thread winner!

Posted by: angel with a sword at September 25, 2013 03:41 PM (hpgw1)

85 Before the white man come to our lands, my people lived in harmony with Great Spider Spirit in Sky.

Posted by: Elizabeth "Three Wolf Moon" Warren at September 25, 2013 03:41 PM (8ZskC)

86 While the D.C. Health Link will launch a Web site on October 1, shoppers will not have access to the their premium prices until mid-November. The delay comes after the District marketplace discovered "a high error rate" in calculating the tax credits that low- and middle-income people will use to purchase insurance on the marketplace. WaPo

Posted by: panzernashorn at September 25, 2013 03:42 PM (MhA4j)

87 ace said.,..i'm fairly arachnophobic and I did indeed have a spider drop into my mouth when I was a kid.

I was just sitting in bed, reading, when a little son of a bitch descended on a webline into my mouth-breathing mouth.

It was not fun.
--------------------
I had turned on the spigot at a friends house to get a drink as a wee lass , a bee had been finding his own drink inside the hose.
it ruined both of our day.

Posted by: willow at September 25, 2013 03:42 PM (nqBYe)

88 re 85: more like "two dogs f**king"

Posted by: mallfly at September 25, 2013 03:43 PM (bJm7W)

89 What flavor of spider feasts on the juicy viscera of yellow jackets? I need about a dozen of them.

Posted by: Fritz at September 25, 2013 03:43 PM (x2W/k)

90 I can't keep coming here if this s***** talk keeps up. (not able to say or write it's name) exactly the same situation as with O*a*o. Absolutely LOATH both! UGH.

Posted by: usually disgusted at September 25, 2013 03:43 PM (iMISt)

91 It's not the "ballooning" and "floating" that concern me. It's the stalking.

And the fangs.

Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at September 25, 2013 03:43 PM (eHIJJ)

92 one benefit to being a dipsomaniac like Chrissy Matthews is that no living creature approaches his northern manure spreading orifice since all kingdom, phylum and genus of all species view it as uninhabitable.

Posted by: Strategic Corporal USMC at September 25, 2013 03:43 PM (6J+oK)

93 I don't like spider plants.

Posted by: Jesse Pinkman, PhD Bitches! at September 25, 2013 03:43 PM (T0Pku)

BACON YUM

Posted by: Charlotte Spider at September 25, 2013 03:44 PM (BAS5M)

Ace's story about the spider reminds me of the MASH where Hawkeye has a breakdown over a Korean woman suffocating a chicken...

later, he has a psychological breakthrough during a session with Sydney and realizes, "It wasn't a chicken. It was a baby!".

Posted by: garrett at September 25, 2013 03:44 PM (janHz)

96 If you go out and look at the banana spider's web they often have a tiny dew drop shaped spider living in the web with them. It is called Argyrodes and it is a thief. When the banana spider traps a bug and wraps it up it will leave it sit for a bit before dining. The little spider will creep down the web and attach a couple of drag lines to the meal and then carefully cut it out of the big spider's web. It then swings itself and its prize away to its own little web and dines at leisure. Pretty slick. *** The FSA strikes again!

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at September 25, 2013 03:44 PM (DmNpO)

97 Would you like to fly in my beautiful balloon?

Posted by: A Spider In The Fifth Dimension at September 25, 2013 03:44 PM (HjPtV)

98 Big. Ass. PARASPIDER! You get to be the DZ, and you'll never forget the PLF....

Posted by: Jenk at September 25, 2013 03:44 PM (8xKUx)

99 The lawn burrowing yellow jackets are best dealt with using chemicals weapons and napalm or gasoline.

Posted by: Purp PhD/MD/Esq/Nobel Laureate[/i][/b][/u][/s] at September 25, 2013 03:45 PM (9MLX+)

100 MSNBC, home of the Fightin' Trapdoor Spiders!

Posted by: adams aquam ferunt porn at September 25, 2013 03:45 PM (gQKHE)

101 Ace's story about the spider reminds me of the MASH where Hawkeye has a breakdown over a Korean woman suffocating a chicken...
later, he has a psychological breakthrough during a session with Sydney and realizes, "It wasn't a chicken. It was a baby!".

Wait. Ace swallowed a baby?

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at September 25, 2013 03:45 PM (8ZskC)

102 I don't like spider {man | veins | solitaire | from Goodfellas}

Posted by: Strategic Corporal USMC at September 25, 2013 03:45 PM (6J+oK)

103 What's the largest known spider? Where does it live? Australia? They always have big ass spiders that hide in your toilet and come out and bite your balls, or so I am told.

Posted by: Jesse Pinkman, PhD Bitches! at September 25, 2013 03:45 PM (T0Pku)

104 Spiders are useful and important creatures in our ecosystem. Let's set every single one of them on fire, one by one, with a blowtorch.

Posted by: Splunge at September 25, 2013 03:46 PM (bKA83)

105

Hey, did anyone see Kudlow interview Rand Paul? Paul claims something has just been realized on the House proposal. It's 20Billion over budget counting the sequester.

The Senate counterproposal is 80 Billion over budget counting the sequester. Reid and Obama have just been gut-punched, and appear to have no answers.

Bob Costa reports that the dems are in disarray, and support is building for Cruz. Posponement and new deals are being researched by both sides. Momentum has shifted.

Posted by: Redenzo at September 25, 2013 03:47 PM (vx61Q)

106 Cornyn Spiders it's what's for dinner

Posted by: panzernashorn at September 25, 2013 03:47 PM (MhA4j)

107 We also have Phidippus Audax in FL-the Daring Jumping Spider. They are the coolest creepy crawlies ever. They are like little eight legged dogs. If you wiggle your fingers at them they wave their front legs back, it is how they recognize and avoid eating each other. They get pretty good sized, too. There is a pick of one linked in my name. They have a more brightly colored cousin called Phiddipus Regius that is cool too. The females in that species will sometimes be orange and almost tiger striped.

Posted by: the guy that moves pianos for a living... at September 25, 2013 03:47 PM (P/gm7)

108 This kind of thing happens in Chicago, too. I used to work in one of its tallest buildings, and every Fall the upper floors of the building would get blanketed by nasty looking spiders and huge webs.

Turns out they float over from the other side of Lake Michigan. The spiders climb into trees, put down a line of web, and the wind carries them across the lake to Chicago and often very high up in the air.

Posted by: Kensington at September 25, 2013 03:47 PM (Yy2ZT)

109
Differential Theory of The Internet (Flying Face Sized Spider Model)

Slate: My life partner suggested a threesome with a Flying Face Sized Spider, does that mean that he thinks I look fat?

DemocraticUnderground: Bush sent Flying Face Sized Spiders to Iraq to kill brown people and steal their hummus for Halliburton's GMO Food Products division.

Wonkette: Conservatives are bigots because they don't like ass-fucking Flying Face Sized Spiders.

Cracked: 5 Historical Figures That You Didn't Know Were Actually Flying Face Sized Spiders

InfoWars: JFK was killed by a Flying Face Sized Spider working for the Illuminati.

Arfcom: What caliber for Flying Face Sized Spider?

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at September 25, 2013 03:48 PM (TIIx5)

110 While the D.C. Health Link will launch a Web site on October 1, shoppers will not have access to the their premium prices until mid-November. The delay comes after the District marketplace discovered "a high error rate" in calculating the tax credits that low- and middle-income people will use to purchase insurance on the marketplace. Ten bucks says they don't have a test plan yet. I'd bet their Unit Test code coverage rate isn't over 10%.

Posted by: bonhomme at September 25, 2013 03:48 PM (yETln)

111
I should have went with the flying spiders instead.

Posted by: Wicked Witch of the West at September 25, 2013 03:48 PM (sj9LN)

112 pep: flying roaches and "I did not care for Houston."

I can confirm this. Houston's mascot should be a cockroach wearing a cape with an "S".

And they prowl in groups and will fly into your pants when startled.

Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at September 25, 2013 03:48 PM (eHIJJ)

113 What's the largest known spider?

A Goliath, they live in Africa...and eat BIRDS. One example spanned 11"

Posted by: Purp PhD/MD/Esq/Nobel Laureate[/i][/b][/u][/s] at September 25, 2013 03:49 PM (9MLX+)

114

I know an old lady who swallowed a spider

It wriggled and jiggled and tickled inside her

Posted by: Charlotte Spider at September 25, 2013 03:49 PM (BAS5M)

115

Posted by: mallfly at September 25, 2013 07:38 PM (bJm7W)

I'm waiting for the homeowner to figure out that the school folks must have been trespassing on private property to apprehend the Kids...

Posted by: Capt. John Rico, Rico's Roughnecks at September 25, 2013 03:49 PM (lZBBB)

116 Hey, did anyone see Kudlow interview Rand Paul? Paul claims something has just been realized on the House proposal. It's 20Billion over budget counting the sequester. The Senate counterproposal is 80 Billion over budget counting the sequester. Reid and Obama have just been gut-punched, and appear to have no answers. Bob Costa reports that the dems are in disarray, and support is building for Cruz.Posponement and new deals are being researched by both sides. Momentum has shifted. *** Say what?!

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at September 25, 2013 03:49 PM (DmNpO)

117 I've seen a picture of the new Paki island. It's pretty cool. As you would expect, it looks like the bottom of the sea, with sand and a partial monolayer of rocks.

Al Qaeda says the Crusaders stole it from them and they want it back.

Posted by: pep at September 25, 2013 03:49 PM (6TB1Z)

118 In my part of the country, there are no poisonous snakes, and only two species of poisonous spider, both of which are easily recognizable. As a result, I do everything I can to protect the spiders and snakes because they control (i.e. eat) a wide variety of even more obnoxious and germ-laden pests. I even let a few spiders build webs near the door in the library, just because they handily intercept the bugs that would otherwise creep in and eat my books.

Moral of the story: make your peace with nature, and cooperate with it where you can, because it's just everywhere.

Posted by: HTL at September 25, 2013 03:50 PM (xOOs/)

119 I used to have a crippling fear of spiders, but it eased up a great deal after I bought a chilean rose tarantula for a pet.

I only touched it once, but observing it in its aquarium took the scariness out of it. I still don't like the quarter sized ones, but the big tarantulas just look like animals to me now, and pretty ones at that.

Just don't get me started on the one time my tarantula escaped from its aquarium. That was not a fun evening.

Posted by: Kensington at September 25, 2013 03:50 PM (Yy2ZT)

120 Spider Fighter!

Posted by: adams exercito porn at September 25, 2013 03:50 PM (gQKHE)

121 The purse spiders are much, much worse.

Posted by: toby928© at September 25, 2013 03:50 PM (QupBk)

122 Here ya go, Phidippu Regius linked in my name.

Posted by: the guy that moves pianos for a living... at September 25, 2013 03:51 PM (P/gm7)

123 Kamen Rider claims the island....
http://www.ufunk.net/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/selection-du-weekend-54-35.jpg

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at September 25, 2013 03:51 PM (/WGNb)

124 I told you about Outside. I TOLD YOU!

Inside isn't any better. A basement spider got a mover doing a company paid move for me one time. I was still hearing about it when the company folded.

Posted by: DaveA at September 25, 2013 03:51 PM (DL2i+)

125 108 This kind of thing happens in Chicago, too. I used to work had a rugby flashback I used to work in Chicago in an old department store, I used to work in Chicago, I don't work there anymore A lady came in for _____ _____ from the store ______ she wanted ________ She got I don't work there anymore

Posted by: Strategic Corporal USMC at September 25, 2013 03:51 PM (6J+oK)

126 Seriously, I'll take a spider over a mosquito any day now.

Posted by: Kensington at September 25, 2013 03:51 PM (Yy2ZT)

127 Piano mover, that's a great picture.

Posted by: Olle Gustafson at September 25, 2013 03:52 PM (elC5f)

128 We were at the shooting range a few years ago and we were hit with a wave of migrating spiders. I overcame my arachnophobia that day.

Mostly...

Posted by: d_fitz at September 25, 2013 03:52 PM (enmeq)

129

She swallowed the spider to catch the fly

I don't know why she swallowed the fly

Perhaps she'll die

Posted by: Charlotte Spider at September 25, 2013 03:54 PM (BAS5M)

130 Many parts of a spider are edible.

Posted by: euell gibbons at September 25, 2013 03:54 PM (QupBk)

131 The new island is gassy! http://goo.gl/eFM2SI

Posted by: Jesse Pinkman, PhD Bitches! at September 25, 2013 03:55 PM (T0Pku)

132 Related news:

They're making a movie called "Big Ass Spider!"
Trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WeRW_dClNkI

Posted by: Petrus at September 25, 2013 03:56 PM (ZSflp)

133
Brian Dennehy was great as the giant mechanical spider in Wild Wild West.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at September 25, 2013 03:56 PM (TIIx5)

134 Didn't think I had arachnophobia until I saw that Phidippu Regius.

Posted by: Northernlurker at September 25, 2013 03:56 PM (BLAfs)

135 YAY! Five episodes of South Park up now with the new season debuting at 10:00. I so need it after these last three days.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at September 25, 2013 03:56 PM (DmNpO)

136 Carly Simon: Itsy Bitsy Spider:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q9cidpLcPgA

Posted by: Kensington at September 25, 2013 03:56 PM (Yy2ZT)

137 the combinations for the song are endless Hammer::Nailed Carpet::Laid Seafood::Crabs Piano::My Organ Big Mac::My Whopper Velvet::Felt

Posted by: Strategic Corporal USMC at September 25, 2013 03:57 PM (6J+oK)

138 how do you pronounce "Eull"? Euler the mathematician is pronounced "oiler."

Posted by: soothsayer at September 25, 2013 03:57 PM (GE81t)

139 I'm pretty sure Gutfeld knows about you loger...errr....whatever, Ace.

Posted by: Nick Shaw at September 25, 2013 03:58 PM (9Xn+t)

140 Webnado!

Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at September 25, 2013 03:59 PM (eHIJJ)

141 True story--in Ft. Jackson in 1980 I finished firing from a foxhole position on the range and had to police up my brass. There was a wooden crate at the bottom of the hole for the short guys to stand on. Lifted it up and saw a cartridge. Reached for it and saw a black widow. Got twenty push-ups for attacking the range sergeant's crate with my rifle butt. I don't care much for spiders, even though they are by and large useful creatures.

Had something similar happen years earlier with a copperhead while fishing. No rifle butt, just a nice big rock. Dead snake, no pushups...

Posted by: Jenk at September 25, 2013 03:59 PM (8xKUx)

142 Audax and Regius both get big enough you can hear them land when they jump.

Posted by: the guy that moves pianos for a living... at September 25, 2013 04:00 PM (P/gm7)

143 10 This is now. That was then.

ObamaCare Is Â‘The Law of the LandÂ’

RUSH: So Was Â‘SlaveryÂ’ At One Time

Posted by: panzernashorn at September 25, 2013 07:19 PM (MhA4j)

I just pasted this to my Facebook page. I still have a few Libs left on there and I want to see if I can get their heads to assplode.

Posted by: Mr. Alu Fods at September 25, 2013 04:01 PM (md9OS)

144 oh fuck me.. are they moving south? fuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

Posted by: Dave in Texas at September 25, 2013 04:02 PM (pUqSw)

145 hey, this is funny:
http://petitions.moveon.org/sign/rescind-ted-cruzs-harvard?source=c.url&r_by=4786952

Posted by: mallfly at September 25, 2013 04:03 PM (bJm7W)

146 Try this critter--saw the all the time in AZ....
http://tinyurl.com/lnq2rh4

Posted by: Jenk at September 25, 2013 04:06 PM (8xKUx)

147 Whew! That was close--almost broke the blog. Spiders are not barrel-worthy....

Posted by: Jenk at September 25, 2013 04:08 PM (8xKUx)

148 Not so much flying as riding the winds.I think they've even been found in the stratosphere.

Posted by: steevy at September 25, 2013 04:12 PM (9XBK2)

149 Posted by: mallfly at September 25, 2013 08:03 PM (bJm7W)

Heh. Read the names and comments of some of the signers.

Posted by: Country Singer at September 25, 2013 04:13 PM (T7XIT)

150 Oh crap, it's most of the signers! Even better!

Posted by: Country Singer at September 25, 2013 04:15 PM (T7XIT)

151 I knew an entomologist who called them "aerial plankton." I'm just glad there are no "aerial whales.

Posted by: The inexplicable Dr. Julius Strangepork at September 25, 2013 04:30 PM (020rY)

152 Serious, you guys. This is news? Anyone who has spent any time at all outdoors in the fall has seen ballooning baby spiders. There're lots of other bugs up there too, y'know..

Posted by: The inexplicable Dr. Julius Strangepork at September 25, 2013 04:33 PM (020rY)

153 That Move On petition? Names will be taken, lists will be made; the jails begin to fill..... No wait, that was Caesar's Rome....

Posted by: Severe Conservative riding Orca at September 25, 2013 04:38 PM (v6hyJ)

154 If mentioning this keeps one libtard from moving into Texas and trying to turn it blue... then the mere mention of this will have been worth it. It's not a bunch of flying bugs... it's a feature!

Posted by: chaz at September 25, 2013 05:12 PM (sSNkG)

155 Dr. Savage reading a press release, he's taking hannity's time spot. I still think hannity is on his way to beck's network, radio and television.

Posted by: apple's number 1 fangirl at September 25, 2013 05:15 PM (Nx76m)

156 Dr Savage *Snicker*

Posted by: toby928© at September 25, 2013 05:30 PM (QupBk)

157 Fucking global warming....

Posted by: JPS at September 25, 2013 05:42 PM (9ziuC)

158 Thanks, Obama! Now, seriously. How the fuck is that President Obama's fault? Fucking idiots. Yeah, go ahead BAN ME, damned fascist fucks. :mad:

Posted by: Patrick in Michigan at September 25, 2013 06:08 PM (OhrW4)

159 @158 Patrick in Buttfuck Somewhere
God damn you are one idiot douche!

Posted by: Nick Shaw at September 25, 2013 06:13 PM (9Xn+t)

160 ...You're deliberately trolling me, ace, aren't you? FLYING SPIDERS. THE END TIMES ARE UPON US! *hides under bed*