Ace of Spades HQ

January 15, 2013

Guns Don't Kill People.
Boobies Kill People.
— Ace

And if they outlaw boobies, only outlaws will have boobies.

A 50-year-old Everett woman is accused of smothering her boyfriend by lying on his face.

Witnesses said the woman had her chest on the victimÂ’s face, a Snohomish County SheriffÂ’s Office document said.

Death by smothering by breast. Old hat.

But there are going to be three shocks in this story. I want you to prepare yourselves. Please, take a seat, or, if you must stand, steady yourself by firmly grasping a solid upright surface.

If you are eating, please finish chewing and swallowing any food in your mouth to reduce the risk of choking due to sudden surprise.

Shock Number One:

Deputies said they were called to the Airport Inn trailer park at 12:45 a.m. Saturday...

Shock Number Two:

Police said that in addition to the victim, a man and three women were at the scene, all who were heavily intoxicated.

And Shock Number Three:

Documents indicated the victim was 5 feet 7 inches tall and weighed about 175 pounds, and [the perpetrator] is 5 feet 6 inches tall and weighs 192 pounds, documents said.

Police are recommending a charge of 2nd-base manslaughter.

(No but seriously they're recommending 2nd-degree manslaughter; I'm not sure why they're backing off murder, as it appears intentional. Perhaps it would just be hard to prove the Boobies had the intent to kill.)

Thanks to Jenjhis.

Posted by: Ace at 11:57 AM | Comments (302)
Post contains 243 words, total size 2 kb.

1 More boobs than teeth, probably

Posted by: Wooga at January 15, 2013 11:59 AM (rIfOa)

2 LOL, old story Ace but applicable now. We must ban large capacity boobs!

And that old saw is back, "more than a handful of boobs is not needed!

Posted by: Vic at January 15, 2013 11:59 AM (53z96)

3 If this country doesn't ban boobies, then I'm leaving.

Posted by: Piers Morgan at January 15, 2013 12:00 PM (gCa4h)

4 Tell the men I've made it with a woman!

Posted by: Zapp Branigan at January 15, 2013 12:00 PM (MFQJZ)

5 I saw this story and was going to comment on it but without pictures I figured why?

Posted by: Nevergiveup at January 15, 2013 12:01 PM (9Bj8R)

6 How much of that 192 pounds are in her tits?

Posted by: buzzion at January 15, 2013 12:01 PM (GULKT)

7 He went tits up!

Posted by: ChampionCapua at January 15, 2013 12:01 PM (ZY+lZ)

8 Wait, this is a new story! This is the second boob smothering event this year.

Posted by: Vic at January 15, 2013 12:01 PM (53z96)

9 Story can't be true. Didn't happen in Florida.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at January 15, 2013 12:01 PM (UOM48)

10 How about boobies with guns?

http://tinyurl.com/732spck

Yeah, baby!

Posted by: looking closely at January 15, 2013 12:01 PM (6Q9g2)

11 WE NEED MOAR BOOBIE CONTROL!!!

Posted by: braindead liberal neblett at January 15, 2013 12:02 PM (gCa4h)

12 I wouldn't mind Tara whats-her-name laying down on my face. The mortician would not be able to wipe the grin off my face.

Posted by: CUS at January 15, 2013 12:02 PM (84pE9)

13
Megahn McCain starring in

Trailer Park II: The Smothering

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at January 15, 2013 12:02 PM (p/cQy)

Titty control NOW!

Why does any woman need more than a 32A?

Posted by: rockmom at January 15, 2013 12:02 PM (qE3AR)

Hey...at least she didn't sit on his face.

Death-by-Boobies...is a lot better than Death-by-Stinky-Coochie.

Posted by: wheatie at January 15, 2013 12:02 PM (fH4X9)

192 lbs? At least she didn't sit on his face. That would have been just plain mean.

Posted by: wth at January 15, 2013 12:02 PM (wAQA5)

17 13
Megahn McCain starring in

Trailer Park II: The Smothering

heh

Posted by: Jane D'oh at January 15, 2013 12:03 PM (UOM48)

18 [the perpetrator] is 5 feet 6 inches tall and weighs 192 pounds,

40 lbs of it is breasts.

Posted by: no good deed at January 15, 2013 12:03 PM (mjR67)

19 WE NEED MOAR BOOBIE CONTROL!!!

I believe the nomenclature du jour is "Boobie Violence Prevention."

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at January 15, 2013 12:03 PM (QKKT0)

20 Florida, right?

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Team Stompy. at January 15, 2013 12:03 PM (VtjlW)

21 She didn't settle for sweater puppies, she went for the full Rottweiler.

Posted by: Vic at January 15, 2013 12:03 PM (53z96)

22 Fatal boobehs, redux:

http://tinyurl.com/7ztgkm

Posted by: looking closely at January 15, 2013 12:03 PM (6Q9g2)

23 Whoa. Quick draw there wheatie.

Posted by: wth at January 15, 2013 12:04 PM (wAQA5)

24 20 Florida, right?

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Team Stompy. at January 15, 2013 04:03 PM (VtjlW)

Strangely enough, Washington State.

Posted by: Tami[/i] at January 15, 2013 12:04 PM (X6akg)

25 Barack Obama is a stuttering clusterf*ck of a malignant traitor.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) Channelling Breitbart at January 15, 2013 12:04 PM (/eBe8)

26 Face sitting comes to mind, but being a gentlemen and all....

Posted by: Nevergiveup at January 15, 2013 12:04 PM (9Bj8R)

27 Would photos of her tits amount to a 5th Amendment violation?

Posted by: eman at January 15, 2013 12:04 PM (tBnjP)

28 Story can't be true. Didn't happen in Florida. Posted by: Jane D'oh at January 15, 2013 04:01 PM (UOM4 I refuse to believe that this didn't happen in Florida. Sigh. Though Florida is letting me down, what with the lack of python related mayhem in Pythonhunt 2013.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Team Stompy. at January 15, 2013 12:04 PM (VtjlW)

29 Considering the number of shockas pointed out by ace, I think that, if this occurred in Florida, the universe would have collapsed upon itself.

Posted by: Sandra Fluke's solid gold diaphragm at January 15, 2013 12:05 PM (7xeJQ)

23 Whoa. Quick draw there wheatie.

Yet another case of the hive mind of the Horde, wth.

Posted by: wheatie at January 15, 2013 12:05 PM (fH4X9)

31 Must I fear my GFs big boobies now?

Posted by: My GF has big boobies at January 15, 2013 12:05 PM (F6KtL)

32 >>>A 50-year-old Everett woman is accused of smothering her boyfriend by lying on his face.

She smothered him to death? F* me. How drunk was that guy? He had to be for his "Me want air NOW!" reflex to be numbed to the point he didn't obliterate everything around him in struggle. Appeared to have injury? Had some hair in his hand? That's it?

Posted by: MikeTheMoose is Shrugging at January 15, 2013 12:05 PM (0q2P7)

33 We're gonna a need a photo op of Ace surrounded by Women in Mischievous Sweaters to make this work...

Posted by: ChampionCapua at January 15, 2013 12:05 PM (ZY+lZ)

34 An orgy in a trailer park next to the airport. Jesus Christ.

Posted by: Gristle Encased Head at January 15, 2013 12:05 PM (+lsX1)

35 Assault boobehs. . .(you can skip to 3:15, but you probably shouldn't):

http://tinyurl.com/2bm9sxc

Posted by: looking closely at January 15, 2013 12:06 PM (6Q9g2)

36 When boobies are outlawed, only outlaws will have boobies.

or

You can have my boobies when you can pry them from my cold, dead hands.

Posted by: NBA at January 15, 2013 12:06 PM (gCa4h)

37 There seem to be a breast crime wave lately. There was a guy from Germany who said his girlfriend tried to suffocate him between her breasts, and now this. Thanks goodness Tara the journalist just has her breasts bulging out from dresses, not thrust malevolently into peoples faces She just threatens gun owners by publishing their addresses

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at January 15, 2013 12:06 PM (gALTb)

38 Cripes. Beaten to the Florida point mercilessly. It must be the sinus infection I brought back with me on travel that's making me slow.

Posted by: Sandra Fluke's solid gold diaphragm at January 15, 2013 12:06 PM (7xeJQ)

39 How dare you accuse me of dancing on big boobies graves. How dare you.

Posted by: Piers Mogan at January 15, 2013 12:07 PM (F6KtL)

40 So what counts as high capacity cup size?

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit [/i][/u][/b] at January 15, 2013 12:07 PM (4df7R)

41 Death by Snoo Snoo in Snohomish County.

Posted by: toby928© for TB at January 15, 2013 12:07 PM (evdj2)

42 Any bets on whether he was toothless?

Posted by: Vizzini [/i] at January 15, 2013 12:07 PM (O7Q1u)

43 He was killed with one tit and the other one refuses to testify to that. Tits stick together.

Posted by: eman at January 15, 2013 12:07 PM (tBnjP)

44 "Documents indicated the victim was 5 feet 7 inches tall and weighed about 175 pounds, and [the perpetrator] is 5 feet 6 inches tall and weighs 192 pounds, documents said." Yes, but 50 pounds of that weight was boobehs.

Posted by: nerdygirl at January 15, 2013 12:07 PM (c2kdv)

45 You see why they must cover up now?

Posted by: Islamic Leaders Against Big Boobehs at January 15, 2013 12:08 PM (F6KtL)

46 An orgy in a trailer park next to the airport. Jesus Christ.

Posted by: Gristle Encased Head at January 15, 2013 04:05 PM (+lsX1)

I just laughed so loud, I think I pulled a breast muscle.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit [/i][/u][/b] at January 15, 2013 12:08 PM (4df7R)

47 If we can save just one person by outlawing boobies...

Posted by: DangerGirl in her Joe Biden mask at January 15, 2013 12:08 PM (GrtrJ)

48 This post is useless without a photo.

Posted by: JeremiadBullfrog at January 15, 2013 12:08 PM (Y5I9o)

49
I refuse to believe that this didn't happen in Florida.

Sigh. Though Florida is letting me down, what with the lack of python related mayhem in Pythonhunt 2013.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Team Stompy. at January 15, 2013 04:04 PM (VtjlW

I share your disappointment. I was hoping for lots and lots of stories of pythons vs. rednecks + lots of alcohol + firearms (and machetes).

Posted by: Jane D'oh at January 15, 2013 12:08 PM (UOM48)

50 25 pounds per boobeh, he probably went fast.

Posted by: nerdygirl at January 15, 2013 12:08 PM (c2kdv)

51 Boobeh assault prowess:

http://tinyurl.com/9a7x9l

In NY State, this woman would have to register her "girls" with the police.

Posted by: looking closely at January 15, 2013 12:08 PM (6Q9g2)

52 That's not motorboating, it's being run over by a Bayliner 51'.

Posted by: jakeman at January 15, 2013 12:08 PM (96M6e)

53 OK This never ending stream of senseless violence MUST STOP! I'm not proposing a ban on boobies. But some common sense action MUST BE TAKEN For The ChildrenÂ®. Clearly he didn't know his assailant was armed at the time. Who is with me on banning concealed carry for boobies?

Posted by: MikeTheMoose is Shrugging at January 15, 2013 12:08 PM (0q2P7)

54 Remember the chick who ripped off her BF's testicles?

Posted by: waldo at January 15, 2013 12:09 PM (H96hE)

55 Now I can't get the orgy scene from that episode of It's Always Sunny in Phildelphia out of my mind. The one where they all had masks on like in Eyes Wide Shut, except that everyone was 75 lbs overweight and gross.

Posted by: Gristle Encased Head at January 15, 2013 12:09 PM (+lsX1)

56 I can't wait until Davis Gregory starts handling those on the next episode of " Meet The Pressed "

Posted by: American Dawg at January 15, 2013 12:09 PM (trA4n)

57 "It's nice to see Women of such caliber... Of course by caliber I mean both the size of their gun barrels and the size of their character..". doctor Evil

Posted by: Hello, it's me Donna let it burn really.really bummed at January 15, 2013 12:09 PM (9+ccr)

58 Are we sure it was her boobies, or was it her belly fat?

Posted by: Jane D'oh at January 15, 2013 12:09 PM (UOM48)

59 OK, we must have registration of these dangerous weapons and a Class III transfer tax.

http://www.2busty.net/wp-content/uploads/2010/02/Minka-xxx-photo-1.jpg

Posted by: Vic at January 15, 2013 12:09 PM (53z96)

60 5" 6" and 192 lbs? What body type is that? A sphere?

Posted by: B at January 15, 2013 12:09 PM (XyoGP)

61 I can't wait until Davis Gregory starts handling those on the next episode of " Meet The Pressed "

Posted by: American Dawg at January 15, 2013 04:09 PM (trA4n)

I laughed. A LOT.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit [/i][/u][/b] at January 15, 2013 12:09 PM (4df7R)

62 I just laughed so loud, I think I pulled a breast muscle.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit at January 15, 2013 04:08 PM (4df7R)

Wait. They have muscles?

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at January 15, 2013 12:09 PM (QKKT0)

63 So, morons, if Christine Hendricks calls and asks for a date, go at your own risk.

Posted by: nerdygirl at January 15, 2013 12:09 PM (c2kdv)

64 the important thing is that he died while doing what he loved to do

Posted by: soothsayer at January 15, 2013 12:10 PM (8sdr0)

65 Ban assault breasts.

Posted by: Fourth Virginia at January 15, 2013 12:10 PM (wbmaj)

66 62 I just laughed so loud, I think I pulled a breast muscle.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit at January 15, 2013 04:08 PM (4df7R)

Wait. They have muscles?

Mine used to...

Posted by: Hello, it's me Donna let it burn really.really bummed at January 15, 2013 12:10 PM (9+ccr)

67 52 That's not motorboating, it's being run over by a Bayliner 51'.

Dammit. lol

Posted by: Jane D'oh at January 15, 2013 12:10 PM (UOM48)

68 No one needs a high capacity DDD brassiere. A full C is plenty.

Posted by: Breast Violence Prevention Committee at January 15, 2013 12:10 PM (mjR67)

69 Yeah, shouldn't Chubs McCain have mandatory warnings tattooed to each breast?

Posted by: waldo at January 15, 2013 12:10 PM (H96hE)

70 I did not follow the directions. I almost spit out my soda on the 2nd base manslaughter charge.

Posted by: Spook at January 15, 2013 12:10 PM (pEkqu)

71 Next on Lifetime: Double Divas: Behind Bars Edition

Posted by: Truman North at January 15, 2013 12:10 PM (hEGul)

72 As I've been saying, proggs have no imaginations. If I want you dead, I don't need a gun.

Posted by: HeatherRadish™ #NukeIowaCity at January 15, 2013 12:10 PM (ZKzrr)

73 Anyone with a D cup has to register those things as dangerous weapons.

Posted by: nerdygirl at January 15, 2013 12:10 PM (c2kdv)

74 o, morons, if Christine Hendricks calls and asks for a date, go at your own risk. _--------------------- We, who are about to die, salute you. _

Posted by: BumperStickerist at January 15, 2013 12:11 PM (RuUvx)

75 Breasts of Mass Destruction

Posted by: Teresa in Fort Worth, TX at January 15, 2013 12:11 PM (ADnWI)

76 Yes, I've read what's in your little book and no, I am not impressed.

*tosses copy of Bigguns back across the table

Posted by: Piers Morgan at January 15, 2013 12:11 PM (gCa4h)

77 Gotta register those puppies. Oh and the stop and frisk program suddenly is endorsed by men everywhere. Except Harry Reid. He likes little boys.

Posted by: Mayor Bloomberg at January 15, 2013 12:11 PM (F6KtL)

78 Posted by: Truman North

You watch Lifetime?

Posted by: HeatherRadish™ #NukeIowaCity at January 15, 2013 12:11 PM (ZKzrr)

79 Could have been worse. She could have killed him by sitting on his face. Ew.

Posted by: nerdygirl at January 15, 2013 12:11 PM (c2kdv)

80 Assault boobehs. . . I see your assault boobehs and raise you vagina bubbles from hell. http://youtu.be/ZPuCm7SftKM

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Team Stompy. at January 15, 2013 12:11 PM (VtjlW)

81 I demand that all breasts be registered and that their owners' backgrounds be checked.

Posted by: Fourth Virginia at January 15, 2013 12:11 PM (wbmaj)

82 There Will Be Blood...And Boobies

Posted by: Jane D'oh at January 15, 2013 12:11 PM (UOM48)

83 Yeah, shouldn't Chubs McCain have mandatory warnings tattooed to each breast?

Posted by: waldo

Just one on her forehead would do.

Posted by: weft cut-loop [/i] [/b] at January 15, 2013 12:12 PM (WLpmE)

84 the important thing is that he died while doing what he loved to do

With a smile on his lips...and a nipple the size of a quarter.

Posted by: no good deed at January 15, 2013 12:12 PM (mjR67)

85 Florida?

Posted by: nerdygirl at January 15, 2013 12:12 PM (c2kdv)

86 Any bets on whether he was toothless? Posted by: Vizzini at January 15, 2013 04:07 PM (O7Q1u) Are you insinuating he was my patient?

Posted by: Nevergiveup at January 15, 2013 12:12 PM (9Bj8R)

87 Why should anyone need more than one boobie anyway?

Posted by: Piers Morgan at January 15, 2013 12:12 PM (gCa4h)

88 m'eh - seen one ... seen 'em both.

Posted by: Jaded AoSHQ Moron at January 15, 2013 12:12 PM (RuUvx)

His last words reportedly were: "Blih blub you."

Posted by: wth at January 15, 2013 12:12 PM (wAQA5)

90 And no, I won't place a "Boobie-Free Home" sign in my front yard.

Posted by: Toure Nipples at January 15, 2013 12:12 PM (QKKT0)

91 It didn't happen in Florida, but Everett WA is basically Florida Northwest.

Posted by: yinzer at January 15, 2013 12:13 PM (/Mla1)

92 I bet she's built like Hillary Clinton

Posted by: mallfly at January 15, 2013 12:13 PM (bJm7W)

93 the important thing is that he died while doing what he loved to do

fat chicks?

Posted by: Piers Morgan at January 15, 2013 12:13 PM (gCa4h)

85 Florida?

Washington state.

Posted by: wheatie at January 15, 2013 12:13 PM (fH4X9)

95 The local Newspaper should publish maps showing the homes of all boobs greater than a 36C.

Posted by: Vic at January 15, 2013 12:13 PM (53z96)

96 Oh great. Another school shooting. St. Louis, MO.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at January 15, 2013 12:13 PM (UOM48)

97 NGU,

No, but if it was me (if only!), I think I'd start biting before I lost consciousness...hence my speculation that maybe he didn't have teeth.

Posted by: Vizzini [/i] at January 15, 2013 12:14 PM (O7Q1u)

98 Senator Rand Paul (R-KY) gave an interview to the Christian Broadcasting Network in which he rather strongly denounced President ObamaÂ’s threats to impose gun control through executive orders. Â”IÂ’m against having a king,Â” said the Senator. Â”I think having a monarch is what we fought the American Revolution over, and someone who wants to bypass the Constitution, bypass Congress, thatÂ’s someone who wants to act like a king or monarch.Â” I still have grave reservations about this guy, but at least he is talking up

Posted by: Nevergiveup at January 15, 2013 12:14 PM (9Bj8R)

99 No, but if it was me (if only!), I think I'd start biting before I lost consciousness...hence my speculation that maybe he didn't have teeth. Posted by: Vizzini at January 15, 2013 04:14 PM (O7Q1u) I was only joking. I knew what you meant

Posted by: Nevergiveup at January 15, 2013 12:14 PM (9Bj8R)

100 I'm considering a privately-funded Tit Buyback program to rid the neighborhood of these hazards.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at January 15, 2013 12:15 PM (QKKT0)

101 We fully support the right of every law-abiding citizen to engage in the legally protected right to have large boobies if they so desire.

Posted by: the NBA at January 15, 2013 12:15 PM (gCa4h)

102 Anyone with a D cup has to register those things as dangerous weapons. Posted by: nerdygirl at January 15, 2013 04:10 PM (c2kdv) No! You can't make me! *struggles against handcuffs*

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Team Stompy. at January 15, 2013 12:15 PM (VtjlW)

103

One dead after motorboating accident. Alcohol involved. News at 11.

Posted by: yinzer at January 15, 2013 12:15 PM (/Mla1)

104 test

Posted by: CalyxtheCommoner at January 15, 2013 12:15 PM (QoEay)

105 So is obama gonna hold a news conference to announce that he's proclaiming an Executive order that you must register your boobs as lethal weapons?Who will he surround himself with, a group of Women with boob jobs gone wrong or those unfortunates like his Wife who are, shall we say ,less endowed?

Posted by: Hello, it's me Donna let it burn really.really bummed at January 15, 2013 12:15 PM (9+ccr)

106 Darnwinism in action. SOMEthing funny happened today.

Posted by: Brave Sir Robin at January 15, 2013 12:15 PM (M0O7A)

107

96 Oh great. Another school shooting. St. Louis, MO.

Yeah, but it was a "business and arts college"...and no one died.

2 shot, shooter shot himself but didn't do it right, so he got arrested.

Posted by: wheatie at January 15, 2013 12:16 PM (fH4X9)

108 96 Oh great. Another school shooting. St. Louis, MO.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at January 15, 2013 04:13 PM (UOM4

It was a business school....one person shot and shooter shot himself....or at least that's the story right now.

I only know this because my daughter called and said her school was on lock down because of a nearby shooting but she was out at the time they went on lockdown. She wanted me to google and see what I could find out.

Posted by: Tami[/i] at January 15, 2013 12:16 PM (X6akg)

109 I'm sure the vic's eulogy will include "sweet mammaries of happier times."

Posted by: eureka! at January 15, 2013 12:16 PM (HPRku)

110 Suspects spotted:

http://tinyurl.com/n2l8c

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at January 15, 2013 12:16 PM (QKKT0)

111 Piers Morgan to address breast violence tonite on CNN.

Posted by: Fourth Virginia at January 15, 2013 12:16 PM (wbmaj)

112

There ought to be a law that boobies are kept in a locked safe and only assembled for use when needed.

Posted by: West at January 15, 2013 12:16 PM (1Rgee)

113 test
Posted by: CalyxtheCommoner at January 15, 2013 04:15 PM (QoEay)

Sorry, you flunked.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) Channelling Breitbart at January 15, 2013 12:16 PM (/eBe8)

114 Oh great. Another school shooting. St. Louis, MO.

*fap fap fap fap fap

Posted by: Piers Morgan at January 15, 2013 12:16 PM (gCa4h)

115

We need to take action! Call on our legislators to ban all sales of TVs immediately. TVs Kill Over 200 Kids Every Year. I am writing my Senator, Fienstein to demand a TV buy back program.

http://www.tvsafety.org/the-story/

Posted by: CalyxtheCommoner at January 15, 2013 12:17 PM (QoEay)

116 It was a business school....one person shot and shooter shot himself....or at least that's the story right now.

I only know this because my daughter called and said her school was on lock down because of a nearby shooting but she was out at the time they went on lockdown. She wanted me to google and see what I could find out.

Posted by: Tami at January 15, 2013 04:16 PM (X6akg

Thank God your daughter's okay.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at January 15, 2013 12:17 PM (UOM48)

117 Less than 300 people per year are smothered to death by giant breasts, the LAST thing we need is a government registry!!

Posted by: Gristle Encased Head at January 15, 2013 12:17 PM (+lsX1)

118 We must have Bra locks!

Posted by: Vic at January 15, 2013 12:17 PM (53z96)

119 And that old saw is back, "more than a handful of boobs is not needed! More than a mouthful is a waste!

Posted by: rickb223 at January 15, 2013 12:17 PM (GFM2b)

120 Oh great. Another school shooting. St. Louis, MO.

Clearly TFG's fault. He could have signed the gun ban today, but he put theater ahead of American lives. o.O

Posted by: HeatherRadish™ #NukeIowaCity at January 15, 2013 12:18 PM (ZKzrr)

121 Why should we take away all of our rights to enjoy boobehs because occasionally a mental case misuses them?

Posted by: yinzer at January 15, 2013 12:18 PM (/Mla1)

122 If we can save the life of just one toothless pervert, we must act.

Posted by: Barky O'Genius at January 15, 2013 12:18 PM (QKKT0)

123 @119

Posted by: gigg at January 15, 2013 12:18 PM (41VCE)

124 Yeah, but it was a "business and arts college"...and no one died.

No dead children?

awwwwwwww........

Posted by: Piers Morgan at January 15, 2013 12:18 PM (gCa4h)

125 What is the waiting period for assault boobies?

Posted by: Fourth Virginia at January 15, 2013 12:18 PM (wbmaj)

126 110 Suspects spotted: http://tinyurl.com/n2l8c I refuse to click that link...

Posted by: Brave Sir Robin at January 15, 2013 12:18 PM (M0O7A)

127 I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess Boobs McFatass has less than "perky" ones. The kind that hang waaaay down. Not a bra made that could contain them.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at January 15, 2013 12:18 PM (UOM48)

128 Trailer park loophole strikes again.

Posted by: Gristle Encased Head at January 15, 2013 12:18 PM (+lsX1)

129 What is the waiting period for assault boobies?

My whole life.

Posted by: Vizzini [/i] at January 15, 2013 12:19 PM (O7Q1u)

130 What is the waiting period for assault boobies?

About twenty years.

Posted by: HeatherRadish™ #NukeIowaCity at January 15, 2013 12:19 PM (ZKzrr)

131 I am calling on my Senator, D. Feinstein to implement a TV BuyBack program immediately! TVs kill over 200 Kids Every Year. Something Must Be Done (SMBD)!! TVs and Boobies, Deadly Implements of Destruction.

Posted by: CalyxtheCommoner at January 15, 2013 12:19 PM (QoEay)

132 Piers Morgan to address breast violence tonite on CNN.

breasts? women's breasts?

ewwwwwwwww......

Posted by: Piers Morgan at January 15, 2013 12:19 PM (gCa4h)

133 Were these assault boobies?

Posted by: Ed Wood VS Godzilla at January 15, 2013 12:19 PM (obHYs)

134 The kind that hang waaaay down. Not a bra made that could contain them.

Get the webcam out of my house.

Posted by: HeatherRadish™ #NukeIowaCity at January 15, 2013 12:19 PM (ZKzrr)

135 Anyone with a D cup has to register those things as dangerous weapons. Posted by: nerdygirl at January 15, 2013 04:10 PM (c2kdv) No! You can't make me! *struggles against handcuffs* Go on... Please, by all means, continue.

Posted by: rickb223 at January 15, 2013 12:19 PM (GFM2b)

136 Key West is a boob free town and they have no boob deaths there!

Posted by: Vic at January 15, 2013 12:20 PM (53z96)

137 Will boobie implants be banned as well?

Posted by: Fourth Virginia at January 15, 2013 12:20 PM (wbmaj)

138 What kind of a country is this where any creep with a $20 bill in his hand can have his face slapped with D-cup breasts in a gentlemens club, and what is the address of the gentlemens club?

Posted by: Barky O'Genius at January 15, 2013 12:20 PM (QKKT0)

139 Some one already made an assault boobie reference? My humble apologies.

Posted by: Ed Wood VS Godzilla at January 15, 2013 12:20 PM (obHYs)

140 They can have my manboobs when they pry them from my cold, dead hands.

Posted by: C. Christie at January 15, 2013 12:20 PM (/Mla1)

141 Hoo-boy, here's another shocka: I just visited "slickguns.com" like I've been doing every day for months now and it has been flagged by Google as a malware site... despite Google's own info page listing ZERO malware hits. Fucking leftist cocksuckers.

Posted by: Sandra Fluke's solid gold diaphragm at January 15, 2013 12:20 PM (7xeJQ)

142 What is the waiting period for assault boobies? I'm not sure but I believe step one is to be hired as an NFL cheerleader.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Team Stompy. at January 15, 2013 12:20 PM (VtjlW)

143 #132 The story is developing. I will keep you abreast of any changes.

Posted by: Fourth Virginia at January 15, 2013 12:21 PM (wbmaj)

144 I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess Boobs McFatass has less than "perky" ones. The kind that hang waaaay down. Not a bra made that could contain them. She needs the patented "Over the Shoulder Bolder Holder".

Posted by: rickb223 at January 15, 2013 12:21 PM (GFM2b)

145 oops. sock fail. big time.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at January 15, 2013 12:21 PM (QKKT0)

146

It's not the Assault Boobies that will getcha...it's the Mewling Quims.

Their incessant whining will make you want to chew your arm off.

It's worse than Vogon Poetry.

Posted by: wheatie at January 15, 2013 12:21 PM (fH4X9)

147 "54 Remember the chick who ripped off her BF's testicles? Posted by: waldo" She needs to be told that there is treatment available for PMS.

Posted by: nerdygirl at January 15, 2013 12:22 PM (c2kdv)

148 Some one already made an assault boobie reference?

Yeah. About 50, by my count.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at January 15, 2013 12:22 PM (QKKT0)

149 Now that's a database I'd love to see online...

Posted by: Brother Cavil, Ampersand Wrangler at January 15, 2013 12:22 PM (GBXon)

150 72 As I've been saying, proggs have no imaginations. If I want you dead, I don't need a gun. Posted by: HeatherRadishÂ™ #NukeIowaCity at January 15, 2013 04:10 PM (ZKzrr) How you doin'?

Posted by: Truman North at January 15, 2013 12:22 PM (hEGul)

151 73 Anyone with a D cup has to register those things as dangerous weapons.

Posted by: nerdygirl at January 15, 2013 04:10 PM (c2kdv)

NEVER! Live free (of booby tyranny) or die!

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit [/i][/u][/b] at January 15, 2013 12:22 PM (4df7R)

152 Seriously I think banning concealed carry is the answer.

Posted by: MikeTheMoose is Shrugging at January 15, 2013 12:23 PM (0q2P7)

153 As I've been saying, proggs have no imaginations. If I want you dead, I don't need a gun. Go on.

Posted by: Brother Cavil, Ampersand Wrangler at January 15, 2013 12:23 PM (GBXon)

154 Now that's a database I'd love to see online. Brazzers.

Posted by: rickb223 at January 15, 2013 12:23 PM (GFM2b)

155 Live by the rack, die by the rack.

Posted by: joncelli at January 15, 2013 12:23 PM (RD7QR)

156 By the way, 5' 6" and 192 is not spherical. Its not even atypical. There are plenty of women that size who carry it very nicely. I bet Christina Hendricks is in that neighborhood.

Posted by: Truman North at January 15, 2013 12:23 PM (hEGul)

157 it has been flagged by Google as a malware site... despite Google's own info page listing ZERO malware hits. Fucking leftist cocksuckers.

Posted by: Sandra Fluke's

It happens occasionally when bloggers leave up those BlogAds widgets and one of the rotating ads have some dodgy code. The Google warning page should have a link extra info regarding the problem.

Posted by: weft cut-loop [/i] [/b] at January 15, 2013 12:23 PM (WLpmE)

158 I know this shouldn't be funny.... but it is...

Posted by: Hello, it's me Donna let it burn really.really bummed at January 15, 2013 12:23 PM (9+ccr)

159 Killer Pussy was a great all girls band in the 80s. Tis' true.

Posted by: Fourth Virginia at January 15, 2013 12:23 PM (wbmaj)

160 True story: The Second Amendment is . . . wait for it, wait for it: Racist!!

Yup.

The only reason it was included was so the South (yes, yes the only villain in the world), specifically Virgina, would vote for it because they needed authority to continue to arm their citizens for manning escaped slave militia patrols.

Yup.

Had nothing to do with that unpleasantness of 1776 to 1781 and everything to do with making sure they could still have guns to shoot slaves.

Posted by: MSM at January 15, 2013 12:24 PM (imtbm)

161 By the way, 5' 6" and 192 is not spherical. Its not even atypical. There are plenty of women that size who carry it very nicely. I bet Christina Hendricks is in that neighborhood.

Posted by: Truman North at January 15, 2013 04:23 PM (hEGul)

Yeah, that's what I was thinking. Especially by trailer park standards, she's pretty fit.

Posted by: C. Christie at January 15, 2013 12:24 PM (/Mla1)

162 Live by the rack, die by the rack. You say that like it's a bad thing.

Posted by: rickb223 at January 15, 2013 12:24 PM (GFM2b)

163
Hmm, I'm reminded of the charming story out of West Virginia, of the lovely woman who had private parts that had an odor resplendent of decay and befouled tuna.

http://tinyurl.com/322f7cc

That could have killed a man, even Steve Austin.

Posted by: Rev dr E buzz at January 15, 2013 12:24 PM (raGXo)

164 Killer Pussy's "great" hit was "Teenage Enema Nurse"

Posted by: Fourth Virginia at January 15, 2013 12:25 PM (wbmaj)

165 Posted by: MSM at January 15, 2013 04:24 PM (imtbm)

Please tell me that's not their current line.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) Channelling Breitbart at January 15, 2013 12:25 PM (/eBe8)

166 Could somebody please post a map of all the women in my town with giant breasts?

Posted by: wth at January 15, 2013 12:25 PM (wAQA5)

167 136 Key West is a boob free town and they have no boob deaths there! Posted by: Vic at January 15, 2013 04:20 PM (53z96) ----- Yeah, Reggie and Brock would fit right in down there

Posted by: Lurkasaurus at January 15, 2013 12:26 PM (M1feW)

168

Ban assault breasts.

Tara Rosenblum hardest hit.

Posted by: imp at January 15, 2013 12:26 PM (UaxA0)

169 You know, I really think that we need to have a trampolineathon to protest the tyranny of breast registration.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Team Stompy. at January 15, 2013 12:26 PM (VtjlW)

170 Could somebody please post a map of all the women in my town with giant breasts? Thread. Winner.

Posted by: Ian S. at January 15, 2013 12:26 PM (B/VB5)

171 Hmm, I'm reminded of the charming story out of West Virginia, of the lovely woman who had private parts that had an odor resplendent of decay and befouled tuna.

http://tinyurl.com/322f7cc

That could have killed a man, even Steve Austin.

Posted by: Rev dr E buzz at January 15, 2013 04:24 PM (raGXo)

I could have gone my whole life without hearing this story....and no effing way I'm clicking on THAT link.

Posted by: Tami[/i] at January 15, 2013 12:26 PM (X6akg)

172 You know, I really think that we need to have a trampolineathon to protest the tyranny of breast registration.

I'll bring the video camera.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) Channelling Breitbart at January 15, 2013 12:27 PM (/eBe8)

173 #166 I'm looking for someone to publish the addresses of all local nymphomaniacs-regardless of breast size.

Posted by: Fourth Virginia at January 15, 2013 12:28 PM (wbmaj)

174 First they came for the boob missiles... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6_plXwGCOmM

Posted by: The Political Hat at January 15, 2013 12:28 PM (XvHmy)

175 This is HILARIOUS and INFURIATING:

http://preview.tinyurl.com/clwk85h

The journos who "outed" all those NY gun owners? they are here caught on videotape REFUSING to put a sign on their lawn saying "This Is a Gun-Free Zone!"

So they DO know that homeowners' guns prevent crime. Bastards.

Posted by: beverly at January 15, 2013 12:29 PM (hNMsW)

176 157

It happens occasionally when bloggers leave up those BlogAds widgets and one of the rotating ads have some dodgy code. The Google warning page should have a link extra info regarding the problem.

Posted by: weft cut-loop at January 15, 2013 04:23 PM (WLpmE)

That's the thing, though. The "extra info" page listed 0 malware hits in the past 90 days. And, given that leftists have often shut down YouTube videos, Twitter accounts, etc. by "reporting" the ones they don't like as violating TOS, I can see them making a concerted effort to blacklist firearms sites via Google.

Or, maybe it's a fluke-up. I just don't trust the bastards.

Posted by: Sandra Fluke's solid gold diaphragm at January 15, 2013 12:29 PM (7xeJQ)

177

5' 6" and 192 is not spherical

It certainly the fuck IS!

Maybe 5'6" and 150, even PERHAPS 160-70 is just meaty, but you get pushing 180 at 5'6" as a woman, and you're in line for the Pillbury Doughboy stunt double.

one-NINETY-two is morbidly obese, round to the pound, and generally flaps of fat nasty.

Posted by: imp at January 15, 2013 12:29 PM (UaxA0)

178 My house is boobie-trapped.

Posted by: Fourth Virginia at January 15, 2013 12:29 PM (wbmaj)

179 >>>60 5" 6" and 192 lbs? What body type is that? A sphere? Lena Dunham

Posted by: Wooga at January 15, 2013 12:30 PM (rIfOa)

180

Ma'am, put the vagina away. Thank you very kindly for the offer, but I just ate, thank you ma'am.

---

According to investigators, Williams--who lives four doors down from her estranged husband at the 77 Motor Inn--showed up at his door and asked Danny Williams and another man to Â“eat my pussy.Â” At this point, Williams, pictured in the mug shot at right, Â“commenced to undress herself,Â” reported Deputy Ross Mellinger.

While Danny Williams Â“declined said invitation,Â” the other man, Adam Watson, told cops that he Â“agreed to perform at her request.Â” However, as Watson approached Williams, Â“he became overwhelmed by horrible vaginal odor emitting from Melissa Williams.Â” Watson, understandably, Â“declined to proceed any further.Â”

This is when Melissa Williams allegedly Â“produced a lock-back folding knife,Â” opened it, and pointed the weapon at her estranged husband. She then reportedly uttered a line never before memorialized in a police report: Â“Somebody is going to eat my pussy or IÂ’m going to cut your fucking throat.Â”

Posted by: Rev dr E buzz at January 15, 2013 12:30 PM (raGXo)

181 169 You know, I really think that we need to have a trampolineathon to protest the tyranny of breast registration. Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Team Stompy. at January 15, 2013 04:26 PM (VtjlW) Sometimes I think you're a bot. Your titilating prose is too perfect to be constructed by a mere mortal.

Posted by: Truman North at January 15, 2013 12:30 PM (hEGul)

182 Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Team Stompy. at January 15, 2013 04:26 PM (VtjlW) Dear G-d no. Ouch!

Posted by: Polliwog the 'Ette, still a Hobbit at January 15, 2013 12:30 PM (wbeNt)

183 This is when Melissa Williams allegedly Â“produced a lock-back folding knife,Â” opened it, and pointed the weapon at her estranged husband. She then reportedly uttered a line never before memorialized in a police report: Â“Somebody is going to eat my pussy or IÂ’m going to cut your fucking throat.Â”

You posted that and didn't even offer brain bleach. I'll just drink mine, thank you.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at January 15, 2013 12:31 PM (UOM48)

184
I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess Boobs McFatass has less than "perky" ones. The kind that hang waaaay down. Not a bra made that could contain them.

She needs the patented "Over the Shoulder Bolder Holder".

Posted by: rickb223 at January 15, 2013 04:21 PM (GFM2b)

Is that a shoulder thing that goes up?

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at January 15, 2013 12:31 PM (pqkoL)

185 but you get pushing 180 at 5'6" as a woman, and you're in line for the Pillbury Doughboy stunt double.

Except you don't.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/77367764@N00/sets/72157602199008819/

Posted by: HeatherRadish™ #NukeIowaCity at January 15, 2013 12:31 PM (ZKzrr)

186 It was self-defense. He was dick slapping her.

Posted by: Trailer Park Defense Attorney at January 15, 2013 12:32 PM (BVkEs)

187 Harry Reid: Obama Has Accomplished More Than FDRÂ… DingyÂ’s always been a fan of his favorite Â“light skinnedÂ” Black man Â“with no Negro dialect unless he wanted to have one.Â” Weasel Zippers

Posted by: Nevergiveup at January 15, 2013 12:32 PM (9Bj8R)

188 Seriously. Mrs. North is maybe 5' 2" and maybe 165, and she is smokin hot in any degree of dress or undress. The looks she gets from men when we're out can testify to that.

Posted by: Truman North at January 15, 2013 12:32 PM (hEGul)

189 Polliwog the 'Ette, still a Hobbit at January 15, 2013 04:30 PM (wbeNt)

You get my email?

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) Channelling Breitbart at January 15, 2013 12:33 PM (/eBe8)

190 Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) ChannellingBreitbart at January 15, 2013 04:27 PM (/eBe

Yeah, that footage of all the 'Ettes going *jump* "Ow", *jump* "Ow!" is sure to go viral ;-).

Posted by: Polliwog the 'Ette, still a Hobbit at January 15, 2013 12:33 PM (wbeNt)

191 Okay, guess it was a fluke-up.

http://preview.tinyurl.com/cr7joec

Posted by: Sandra Fluke's solid gold diaphragm at January 15, 2013 12:33 PM (7xeJQ)

192

Look, Ms. Williams could have killed that guy with her breasts, but she didn't. She didn't!

Posted by: Rev dr E buzz at January 15, 2013 12:33 PM (raGXo)

193

We MUST Ban Boodies... for the Children...

Oh.... wait.... crap....

Posted by: Romeo13 at January 15, 2013 12:34 PM (lZBBB)

194 Posted by: Rev dr E buzz at January 15, 2013 04:30 PM (raGXo)

I hate you....I really, really hate you.

Posted by: Tami[/i] at January 15, 2013 12:34 PM (X6akg)

195 Well, I mean she's mostly dressed when we're out. When I allow it.

Posted by: Truman North at January 15, 2013 12:35 PM (hEGul)

196

Heather, what are you trying to show? All I get are a bunch of pics, and none of them say they are 190## women.

Short of a bodybuilder, which I think all of us recognize this broad (see what I did there?) wasn't, 192## on a 5'6" frame is FAT.

Sorry. That's just the toof, and the toof will set you free.

Posted by: imp at January 15, 2013 12:35 PM (UaxA0)

197 My Daughter is 5'7'' and she weighs 150 pounds. Of course she is gorgeous and wears a size 6 dress...

Posted by: Hello, it's me Donna let it burn really.really bummed at January 15, 2013 12:35 PM (9+ccr)

198 Flabalanche!

Posted by: zsasz at January 15, 2013 12:35 PM (Op+RR)

199 I guess they will have to ban 38 longs.

Posted by: Berserker at January 15, 2013 12:35 PM (FMbng)

200 If the nips did not impri't, you must acquit!

Posted by: zombie johnny cochran [/i] [/b] at January 15, 2013 12:36 PM (WLpmE)

201 Okay back in the house. See you retards later.

Posted by: Truman North at January 15, 2013 12:36 PM (I2LwF)

202 I count one, no, wait, TWO military characteristics on those boobies.....

Posted by: Armed at January 15, 2013 12:36 PM (uEm7J)

203 Yeah, that footage of all the 'Ettes going *jump* "Ow", *jump* "Ow!" is sure to go viral. They might want to put some ice on that.

Posted by: rickb223 at January 15, 2013 12:36 PM (GFM2b)

204 Mammaries of Death! Snohomish isn't that far from me...

Posted by: runningrn at January 15, 2013 12:36 PM (Ag5D2)

205 Sometimes I think you're a bot. If she is, she's not one of mine...

Posted by: Brother Cavil, Ampersand Wrangler at January 15, 2013 12:36 PM (GBXon)

206 Ma'am, do you have a permit for those?

Posted by: US Office of Mammary Inspection at January 15, 2013 12:37 PM (/eBe8)

207 Cause of Death: Boobehs

Posted by: Quincy M.E. at January 15, 2013 12:37 PM (sbV1u)

208

Poor dead dude probably never saw that coming either.

Posted by: runningrn at January 15, 2013 12:37 PM (Ag5D2)

209 Forced boobie reductions coming soon...

Posted by: Jane D'oh at January 15, 2013 12:38 PM (UOM48)

210 189 AlanG, yes sorry I haven't replied yet, been feeling under the weather and also trying to figure out what exactly to write.

Posted by: Polliwog the 'Ette, still a Hobbit at January 15, 2013 12:38 PM (wbeNt)

211 Is it suicide by boobies if I stuff my face in there?

Death by motor-boating?

Posted by: Marcus at January 15, 2013 12:38 PM (GGCsk)

212 And here I thought the only killer boobs were in the current administration!

Posted by: runningrn at January 15, 2013 12:38 PM (Ag5D2)

213 Seriously. Mrs. North is maybe 5' 2" and maybe 165, and she is smokin hot in any degree of dress or undress.

The looks she gets from men when we're out can testify to that.

Posted by: Truman North at January 15, 2013 04:32 PM (hEGul)

Dood, you put your wife's weight out on the internet????? Do you have a death wish?

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at January 15, 2013 12:38 PM (pqkoL)

214 What's the over / under on this thread ?

Posted by: Bill D. Cat at January 15, 2013 12:39 PM (BYxr7)

215 Sometimes I think you're a bot. Hmmm. That would explain my urge to keep tunneling into the nuke plant. Crap. I couldn't find a good clip of Catalina jumping for Joy. You'll have to settle for this. http://youtu.be/c4glrmcMhKU

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Team Stompy. at January 15, 2013 12:39 PM (VtjlW)

216 They clearly should have been registered. They were full-auto, equipped with a ching sling, and had capacity for a fifteen-round magazine.

Should have at least had a trigger lock.

Posted by: Keith Arnold at January 15, 2013 12:39 PM (n4EDK)

217 yes sorry I haven't replied yet, been feeling under the weather and also trying to figure out what exactly to write.

No problem. I just wanted to make sure they didn't get caught as spam, or otherwise get lost in the aether.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) Channelling Breitbart at January 15, 2013 12:39 PM (/eBe8)

218 By the way- what happened to your creativity Ace?

The title should read;

Man Killed by Second Amendment Attack and Boobies. But Mostly Boobies.

Posted by: Marcus at January 15, 2013 12:39 PM (GGCsk)

219

Dood, you put your wife's weight out on the internet????? Do you have a death wish?

For realz! Why don't you just broadcast her age as well?

Posted by: runningrn at January 15, 2013 12:39 PM (Ag5D2)

220 188Seriously. Mrs. North is maybe 5' 2" and maybe 165, and she is smokin hot in any degree of dress or undress.

The looks she gets from men when we're out can testify to that.

Posted by: Truman North at January 15, 2013 04:32 PM (hEGul)

>>> hey - 5'2 and 165? I was 165 in high school and 5'8" and I had a belly. She sounds like a smokin hot heifer. Not that there's anything wrong with that. I mean, there's lots of chubby fetish porn out there, so there ya go. What's the ol' poon smell like after a long day in the garden, those ample thighs rubbing and sweating? Ripe? A little TOO ripe?

Posted by: Jack Frost at January 15, 2013 12:40 PM (QOX/9)

221 A-cups should be enough for anybody.

Posted by: Piers at January 15, 2013 12:40 PM (fXJA6)

222 It looks like the vic sustained a severe (whips off sunglasses) bra beating...

Posted by: Horatio Caine at January 15, 2013 12:41 PM (Ag5D2)

223 A-cups should be enough for anybody.

Posted by: Piers at January 15, 2013 04:40 PM (fXJA6)

------

Word!!

Posted by: Roman Polanski at January 15, 2013 12:41 PM (nELVU)

224

His friends always thought his last words would be "watch this" instead of "someone get this fat bitch off of me"

Posted by: polynikes at January 15, 2013 12:42 PM (m2CN7)

225 Speaking of "a-cups" what has Ann Coulter been up to? Still decomposing?

Posted by: Jack Frost at January 15, 2013 12:42 PM (QOX/9)

226 Here's a set of boobs for the Horde:

http://tinyurl.com/c62su5x

Posted by: Jane D'oh at January 15, 2013 12:43 PM (UOM48)

227 Boobs don't kill people, people kill people!

Posted by: runningrn at January 15, 2013 12:43 PM (Ag5D2)

228 Those puppies were rough.

Posted by: sTevo at January 15, 2013 12:43 PM (XX3Rx)

229 Poor bastard died in a titicane .

Posted by: Jim Lahey at January 15, 2013 12:43 PM (BYxr7)

230

188 ...Seriously. Mrs. North is maybe 5' 2" and maybe 165, and she is smokin hot in any degree of dress or undress.

Yeah see, Truman...this is why it was a good idea to not use your real name when posting.

Remember that time when you were thinking of doing that?

You'd be totally fucked now...as opposed to being, deniably fucked.

Posted by: wheatie at January 15, 2013 12:43 PM (fH4X9)

231 It looks likethe vic sustained a severe(whips off sunglasses) bra beating...Posted by: Horatio Caine at January 15, 2013 04:41 PM (Ag5D2)

Another boobie related death.

Posted by: The Ex-Police at January 15, 2013 12:43 PM (sbV1u)

232 Story can't be true. Didn't happen in Florida. **** hey! Hey!! HEY!!! Watch it, sister.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at January 15, 2013 12:44 PM (piMMO)

233 You'd be totally fucked now...asopposed to being, deniably fucked.>>

Or the third option NEVER.

Posted by: Buzzsaw at January 15, 2013 12:44 PM (81UWZ)

234 Florida/Washington....boob assaults....bringing balance to country, no fear of tippage. heh

Posted by: Pecan Scandi at January 15, 2013 12:44 PM (yvSVk)

235 Unleash the K-cup!

Posted by: runningrn at January 15, 2013 12:44 PM (Ag5D2)

236 Is there an interactive map available anywhere?

Posted by: teh Wind at January 15, 2013 12:44 PM (HBU8E)

237 Can we get them to publish a map of assault boobehs?

Posted by: Buzzsaw at January 15, 2013 12:45 PM (81UWZ)

238 Is there a magazine-size to bra-size converter? I need to know what qualifies as "dangerous." And by "dangerous," I mean "awesome."

Posted by: jakeman at January 15, 2013 12:45 PM (96M6e)

239

Posted by: wheatie at January 15, 2013 04:43 PM (fH4X9)

Good news is I don't remember his real name from when he posted it.

Posted by: HoboJerky, now with 75% more DOOM! at January 15, 2013 12:45 PM (xAtAj)

240 Her legal defense team will say say it was haunted trailer.

Posted by: sTevo at January 15, 2013 12:45 PM (XX3Rx)

241

Seriously. Mrs. North is maybe 5' 2" and maybe 165, and she is smokin hot in any degree of dress or undress.

Don't ever apply for the weight guessing job at the carnival. I'm thinking you are probably off by more than a few pounds.

Posted by: polynikes at January 15, 2013 12:45 PM (m2CN7)

242 Oh. I thought you needed an actual motorboat.

Posted by: Robert Wagner at January 15, 2013 12:45 PM (FcR7P)

243 Unleash the K-cup! Posted by: runningrn at January 15, 2013 04:44 PM (Ag5D2)

You want coffee at a time like this?

Posted by: Sean Bannion at January 15, 2013 12:45 PM (sbV1u)

244

Guess I'll qualify my doughboy comment by where the weight is carried. Apparently, there are some massively-thighed women out there who can retain a womanly figure at that height/weight

http://www.mybodygallery.com/photos-12996-body-shape.htm#img

I'm surprised.

But I wouldn't want to be carrying it over the threshold, yo.

Posted by: imp at January 15, 2013 12:45 PM (UaxA0)

245

"Thanks to Jenjhis."

Thanks a shitload, asshole. I think I threw up in my mouth a little.

Posted by: maddogg at January 15, 2013 12:46 PM (OlN4e)

246 This is when Melissa Williams allegedly Â“produced a lock-back folding knife,Â” opened it, and pointed the weapon at her estranged husband. She then reportedly uttered a line never before memorialized in a police report: Â“Somebody is going to eat my pussy or IÂ’m going to cut your fucking throat.Â” Every time I harbor the notion that we can fix this FUBAR'd country, I read something like this. I cry inside.

Posted by: 98ZJUSMC Waiting for the Sun at January 15, 2013 12:46 PM (jdt4D)

247 Seriously. Mrs. North is maybe 5' 2" and maybe 165, and she is smokin hot in any degree of dress or undress. **** Women carry weight differently. A woman with muscle tone will weigh more than a woman who is flabby and wears one or two sizes larger. And weight on a small-boned woman will look much heavier than on a larger boned gal. You can find size 5s who weigh 135 lbs and size 8s who weigh about the same.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at January 15, 2013 12:47 PM (piMMO)

248 Speaking of "a-cups" what has Ann Coulter been up to? Still decomposing?

Posted by: Jack Frost at January 15, 2013 04:42 PM (QOX/9)

Still decimating dumb fuck liberals I suppose.

Posted by: polynikes at January 15, 2013 12:47 PM (m2CN7)

249 Every time I harbor the notion that we can fix this FUBAR'd country, I ~~read something like this~~ shop at Wal-Mart

I cry inside.

YMMV

Posted by: Sean Bannion at January 15, 2013 12:47 PM (sbV1u)

250 >>Anyone with a D cup has to register those things as dangerous weapons. At the Clermont Lounge in Atlanta, stripper Blondie is known to crush beer cans with her breasts.

Posted by: Dr. Varno at January 15, 2013 12:48 PM (5Igfs)

251

Death by stretchmarks.

Posted by: CSI Everett at January 15, 2013 12:48 PM (wAQA5)

252 >>An orgy in a trailer park next to the airport. Jesus Christ.

Otherwise known as swinging Saturday around here.

Posted by: SpongeBob Saget at January 15, 2013 12:48 PM (epxV4)

253

243 Unleash the K-cup! Posted by: runningrn at January 15, 2013 04:44 PM (Ag5D2)

You want coffee at a time like this?

-----------

Heh.

I had the self-same thought, when I read that...

I have a K-cup refillable thingy for my Keurig...and it's tiny.

Posted by: wheatie at January 15, 2013 12:49 PM (fH4X9)

254 Something tells me the perp looked like a Rosie O'Donnel after a night of hard drinking and pulling a train a mile long.

Posted by: maddogg at January 15, 2013 12:49 PM (OlN4e)

255
I hope she at least made him a sammich first.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at January 15, 2013 12:50 PM (p/cQy)

256 Obviously she does not need any concealed carry permit.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at January 15, 2013 12:50 PM (QidfK)

257 All this booby talk makes me long for the good old days when when thought we would be celebrating Romney's victory by dipping our "parts" in pudding. I miss the pudding days...

Posted by: Hello, it's me Donna let it burn really.really bummed at January 15, 2013 12:50 PM (9+ccr)

258 What if Lena Dunham tried to smother you with her breasts?

Posted by: waldo at January 15, 2013 12:50 PM (H96hE)

259 Something tells me the perp looked like a Rosie O'Donnel after a night of hard drinking and pulling a train a mile long. **** Something like this? http://binged.it/Y80iq4

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at January 15, 2013 12:50 PM (piMMO)

260 What if Lena Dunham tried to smother you with her breasts? Posted by: waldo at January 15, 2013 04:50 PM (H96hE)

On full auto?

Rock n' roll.

Posted by: Sean Bannion at January 15, 2013 12:51 PM (sbV1u)

261 259 What if Lena Dunham tried to smother you with her breasts?

Posted by: waldo at January 15, 2013 04:50 PM (H96hE)

You would have to be Female me thinks...

Posted by: Hello, it's me Donna let it burn really.really bummed at January 15, 2013 12:51 PM (9+ccr)

262

What if Lena Dunham tried to smother you with her breasts?

I'd scream rape!

Posted by: Howard Stern at January 15, 2013 12:51 PM (Ag5D2)

263 249Speaking of "a-cups" what has Ann Coulter been up to? Still decomposing?
Posted by: Jack Frost at January 15, 2013 04:42 PM (QOX/9)

Still decimating dumb fuck liberals I suppose.

Posted by: polynikes at January 15, 2013 04:47 PM (m2CN7)

>>>
>>
>
>

Yeah, she's got loads of credibility. Especially for the walking undead. She smells a little, what with the rotting flesh and all, but she's still so relevant. Post-election especially. Well, at least as relevant as Ace, but that's not saying much. As you, in the vortex of irrelevancy, know all too well.

Posted by: Jack Frost at January 15, 2013 12:51 PM (QOX/9)

264 If you lived close to Snohomish county, like I do, there would have been a 4th shocker.

Posted by: AndrewsDad at January 15, 2013 12:51 PM (C2//T)

265 Yeah, Honey doo doo is about right.

Posted by: maddogg at January 15, 2013 12:51 PM (OlN4e)

266 Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at January 15, 2013 04:50 PM (piMMO)

OK, there went my appetite.

A little warning next time please?

Posted by: Sean Bannion at January 15, 2013 12:51 PM (sbV1u)

267 Hey Sean Bannion, what's your wife's size? I mean, after you inflate her...

Posted by: Jack Frost at January 15, 2013 12:52 PM (QOX/9)

268 When is someone going to nuke the troll? Where's EOJ?

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at January 15, 2013 12:52 PM (piMMO)

269 Sean boyo you actually clicked on that link.

Thus rode the 600 into the valley of death.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at January 15, 2013 12:53 PM (QidfK)

270 All this booby talk makes me long for the good old days when when thought we would be celebrating Romney's victory by dipping our "parts" in pudding. I miss the pudding days...

Buzzkill.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at January 15, 2013 12:53 PM (QKKT0)

271

If you lived close to Snohomish county, like I do, there would have been a 4th shocker.

What do you think that would be? That she use to be a man? Wait no, that could only happen on Capital Hill...

(Hi AndrewsDad!)

Posted by: runningrn at January 15, 2013 12:53 PM (Ag5D2)

272 >>At the Clermont Lounge in Atlanta, stripper Blondie is known to crush beer cans with her breasts. Pic here for the brave. http://tinyurl.com/d4obac9 not so sfw

Posted by: Dr. Varno at January 15, 2013 12:53 PM (5Igfs)

273 Hey Sean Bannion, what's your wife's size? I mean, after you inflate her... Posted by: Jack Frost at January 15, 2013 04:52 PM (QOX/9)

About a size 2.

Posted by: Sean Bannion at January 15, 2013 12:53 PM (sbV1u)

274 OK, there went my appetite. A little warning next time please? **** DUDE! Rosie O after a train. That wasn't warning enough?!

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at January 15, 2013 12:53 PM (piMMO)

275 Thus rode the 600 into the valley of death. Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at January 15, 2013 04:53 PM (QidfK)

I was in the Flashman mode.

Posted by: Sean Bannion at January 15, 2013 12:54 PM (sbV1u)

276 Crap. I couldn't find a good clip of Catalina jumping for Joy. You'll have to settle for this.

http://youtu.be/c4glrmcMhKU

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Team Stompy. at January 15, 2013 04:39 PM (VtjlW)

----------------------------------------------------

Pre-pr0n workout. (This is right before the pizza delivery guy walks in.)

Posted by: Soona at January 15, 2013 12:54 PM (OSRET)

277 Ask Danny Bonneduce, I think he lost a beer crushing and melon smashing contest to a woman with I think 44HHH.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at January 15, 2013 12:54 PM (QidfK)

278

Christina Hendricks ....... Areolas Of Mass Distraction.

Posted by: fixerupper at January 15, 2013 12:54 PM (nELVU)

279 Rosie O after a train. That wasn't warning enough?!

Anything Honey Boo Boo is actually more repulsive than Rosie.

Posted by: Sean Bannion at January 15, 2013 12:54 PM (sbV1u)

280 Hey, Jack Frost, your wife get her score back from the USDA yet? Lemme guess... Commercial.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at January 15, 2013 12:54 PM (QKKT0)

281

Pic here for the brave

I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that Blondie isn't a natural blonde...

Posted by: runningrn at January 15, 2013 12:55 PM (Ag5D2)

282 Hey, Jack Frost, your wife get her score back from the USDA yet? Lemme guess... Commercial. **** Aaaaannnnd, they're off!

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at January 15, 2013 12:55 PM (piMMO)

283

Anyone remember this crazy ass starting out every show with an assault weapon? http://tinyurl.com/a9a84zo

Posted by: Liberal Douchbag at January 15, 2013 12:55 PM (JKNDp)

284 I agree I shouldn't have mentioned the pudding thing. Just miss the fun we had when something came up to celebrate.....

Posted by: Hello, it's me Donna let it burn really.really bummed at January 15, 2013 12:56 PM (9+ccr)

285 Maybe this video will blast away that image Sean.
http://youtu.be/2WzpFaw84lA

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at January 15, 2013 12:57 PM (QidfK)

286 I agree I shouldn't have mentioned the pudding thing. Just miss the fun we had when something came up to celebrate..... **** We can celebrate each and every day that we aren't living in shackles and forced to deny our Lord. Every morning is a Blessing.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at January 15, 2013 12:57 PM (piMMO)

287

Fatty and skinny were laying in bed (drunk in a trailer).

Fatty rolled over and skinny became a tragic police report.

Posted by: maddogg at January 15, 2013 12:57 PM (OlN4e)

288 We can celebrate each and every day that we aren't living in shackles and forced to deny our Lord.

Every morning is a Blessing. Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at January 15

For sure... As long as that lasts...

Posted by: Hello, it's me Donna let it burn really.really bummed at January 15, 2013 12:58 PM (9+ccr)

289 Fatty and skinny were laying in bed (drunk ina trailer). Fatty rolled over and skinny became a tragic police report. *** pattycake!

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at January 15, 2013 12:58 PM (piMMO)

290 Cavuto going off on Armstrong. Good. The prick.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at January 15, 2013 12:59 PM (piMMO)

291 Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at January 15, 2013 04:57 PM (QidfK)

I was hoping for a more ginger based life form.

Posted by: Sean Bannion at January 15, 2013 12:59 PM (sbV1u)

292 If you want a picture of the future, imagine a boob stamping on a human face Â— forever.

Posted by: Adlous Whorewell at January 15, 2013 12:59 PM (I88Jc)

293 new thread up

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at January 15, 2013 01:00 PM (piMMO)

294 We can celebrate each and every day that we aren't living in shackles and forced to deny our Lord. I'd be dead.

Posted by: rickb223 at January 15, 2013 01:01 PM (GFM2b)

295 Every morning is a Blessing.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at January 15, 2013 04:57 PM (piMMO)

<<<
>>
>

Absolutely - especially since November 7th. Repudiation go !BOOM! muthafukas.

Posted by: Jack Frost at January 15, 2013 01:02 PM (QOX/9)

296 I'd be dead. **** I'd be laid out beside you.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at January 15, 2013 01:07 PM (piMMO)

297
One of the most dangerous places in America is front row at a Bette Midler concert.

If those gigantic flopping jellobags don't smash your head right in, you look at her face and it will surely turn you and your date into concrete.

Posted by: Rev dr E buzz at January 15, 2013 01:10 PM (raGXo)

298 I propose, strictly for the safety of the 'Rons, of course, that the 'Ronettes post pictures of their nekkid boobies. We wouldn't was the HQ painted with the "smothered to death by virtual boobies" tar brush, would we?

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars at January 15, 2013 01:16 PM (Jcd0S)

299 Do not taunt the happy fun bags.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at January 15, 2013 01:25 PM (673KB)

300 "Death, where is thy sting?"

Posted by: Electric at January 15, 2013 03:28 PM (627oy)

301 So in the FBI crime reports tables, weapons used in homicides, this will fall into the "Personal Weapons-hands, fists, feet, etc" category. I'm now waiting for the story of someone buttocked to death by an obese mama in a wild trailer park orgy. 'The victim, 26 year old Verne Shifflett, was overpowered by 260 pound Thelma Butler and succombed to a combination of suffocation and methane poisoning.'

Posted by: Landru at January 15, 2013 07:01 PM (Za6zA)

302 This isn't all that interesting when you consider she's only, what, DD? I am for high-capacity weapons, but only if we are talking "high capacity."

Posted by: CAC at January 15, 2013 07:16 PM (RgbWA)

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