Ace of Spades HQ

November 27, 2013

How to Fight a Baby
— Ace

From @benk84.

Posted by: Ace at 11:58 AM | Comments (142)
Post contains 12 words, total size 1 kb.

1 They are suckers for an upper cut.

Posted by: Invictus at November 27, 2013 12:00 PM (FBkKA)

2 Future John Wayne Gacy.

Posted by: redenzo at November 27, 2013 12:01 PM (bMeMt)

3 Sir; Based on the youtube video poste, we must inform you that we will be at your domicile with armed Police Officers, in order to take this child into protective custody. It is apparent that you are an unfit parent, as you are teaching your child Violence.

Posted by: Child Protective Nazi at November 27, 2013 12:03 PM (lZBBB)

4 S'cuse me, gotta get to a Wal-Mart ladies room.

Posted by: Harry Reid at November 27, 2013 12:03 PM (/1ATA)

5 My two month old grandson punched me in the face. I was like, dude, are you kidding? That didn't even hurt. I could so kick your ass.

Posted by: real joe at November 27, 2013 12:04 PM (o+BA4)

6 #3 is unfortunately very close to reality

Posted by: rd at November 27, 2013 12:04 PM (D+lxs)

7 You have to be careful on hard mode. They autoblock and spam Hadokens.

Posted by: Flyguy at November 27, 2013 12:05 PM (BeFHp)

8 Posted by: rd at November 27, 2013 04:04 PM (D+lxs) Yeah.... hope the guy never gets a divorce....

Posted by: Romeo13 at November 27, 2013 12:08 PM (lZBBB)

9 How do you Fight a Baby?

Easy, you don't lead 'um so much.

Posted by: Dr Spank at November 27, 2013 12:09 PM (P1WNR)

10 I heard that the usual bedwetting hand wringer Libs took issue with this video. Fuck them. In the face. Hard.

Posted by: Weew at November 27, 2013 12:09 PM (Xi3UG)

11 Sweep the leg!

Posted by: Cold Count de Monet at November 27, 2013 12:10 PM (BAS5M)

Naked.

That's how you fight a baby.

Posted by: Harry Reid at November 27, 2013 12:10 PM (ThG3L)

13 Don't change him in the Wal-Mart bathroom...

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at November 27, 2013 12:10 PM (olDqf)

8 -

Yup, no doubt she was holding the camera, but she sure kept reeeeeeeal quiet during that thing, didn't she?

Posted by: BurtTC at November 27, 2013 12:10 PM (TOk1P)

15 That metrosexual soon-to-be-faggot didn't even draw blood. He has NO idea how to properly fight the little parasites.

Posted by: kathysaysso at November 27, 2013 12:11 PM (6H6o8)

16 Inside Edition did a story on this, because some doctor said that this is how shaken baby syndrome can happen. I think Gutfeld tweeted the IE video, as Red Eye did a segment on IE and the doctor making a big deal out of this.

Posted by: Calvin at November 27, 2013 12:11 PM (3kBRz)

17 This vid reminds me of myself. I guess that's a bad thing now. Yes? No?

Posted by: olddog in mo at November 27, 2013 12:11 PM (qP6Bc)

18 I got one of them Whirlpool playpens...with the spin cycle.

Posted by: Purp[/i][/b][/s] at November 27, 2013 12:11 PM (Xlbr8)

19 Pfffft. Babies. Babies are easy.

It's those damned toddlers you have to watch out for. All that ankle biting.

Posted by: tcn at November 27, 2013 12:11 PM (fwcEs)

Blind them with a handful of talcum powder.

That's the first move.

Posted by: garrett at November 27, 2013 12:11 PM (ThG3L)

21 >>> How to Fight a Baby <<<

Nah, still way too tough for us.

Posted by: Mitch McConnell and John Boehner at November 27, 2013 12:11 PM (xKK9v)

22 Fight this guy - Diaper Man!!!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=72rYHuWidSM

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at November 27, 2013 12:12 PM (olDqf)

23 500 quatloos on the newcomer.

Posted by: --- at November 27, 2013 12:12 PM (MMC8r)

24 How to fight a baby? First you hold 'em upside down, then you.....

Posted by: Senator Jim W. at November 27, 2013 12:12 PM (TOk1P)

25 Uh.... oh..... do I sense an oncoming bout of... Dead Baby Jokes???

Posted by: Romeo13 at November 27, 2013 12:12 PM (lZBBB)

26 20
Blind them with a handful of talcum powder.
That's the first move.

Posted by: garrett at November 27, 2013 04:11 PM (ThG3L)

Hysterical!!

Posted by: kathysaysso at November 27, 2013 12:13 PM (6H6o8)

Dyson.

Posted by: Margaret Sanger at November 27, 2013 12:13 PM (ThG3L)

28 27
Dyson.

Posted by: Margaret Sanger at November 27, 2013 04:13 PM (ThG3L)

Deliciously sick!!

Posted by: kathysaysso at November 27, 2013 12:14 PM (6H6o8)

29 11 Sweep the leg!

****

But I'll be disqualified

Posted by: Lemmiwinks at November 27, 2013 12:14 PM (z+4T3)

30 All you have to do is lightly thump their soft spot, they go right to sleep.

Posted by: Dr Spank at November 27, 2013 12:14 PM (P1WNR)

This vid reminds me of myself. I guess that's a bad thing now. Yes? No?

Yup. I've done the natal pillow toss a few time m'self. Mommy was right there freaking out and laughing at the same time.

Posted by: eleven at November 27, 2013 12:14 PM (fsLdt)

32 Hey hon, is this paypen supposed to be set to medium or permanent press?

Posted by: Purp[/i][/b][/s] at November 27, 2013 12:14 PM (Xlbr8)

33 This is so wrong and so funny

Posted by: Cheri at November 27, 2013 12:15 PM (G+Wff)

34 Make sure they have their diaper on, though, or they'll pee in your face.

Posted by: --- at November 27, 2013 12:15 PM (MMC8r)

35 I'm stuck at my desk on a completely dead Thanksgiving eve, and resenting every minute of it. Isn't there an urban legend about the drug addicts mistaking their baby for a turkey and cooking it up?

Posted by: kathysaysso at November 27, 2013 12:15 PM (6H6o8)

36 They showed this on Red Eye last night but I was too busy ogling Jedediah Bila to notice it much. Thanks for the recap.

Posted by: BlueStateRebel at November 27, 2013 12:16 PM (7ObY1)

37 This dramatic recreation of the Iran/US negotiations has been brought to you by the US State Department.

Posted by: --- at November 27, 2013 12:16 PM (MMC8r)

38 It's those damned toddlers you have to watch out for. All that ankle biting. Ankles, pfft. Toddlers are the world record holders for repeated nut shots. Their head's just at that level, their little hands just shoot out of nowhere sometimes. Jerks.

Posted by: bonhomme[/i][/b][/i][/b] at November 27, 2013 12:16 PM (sByIH)

39 Ace, Did you see this? http://tinyurl.com/mgs97oa

Posted by: USA at November 27, 2013 12:16 PM (VIaw0)

40 My son broke my nose when he was a baby. It happened while I was giving him an airplane ride, right over my face as I was lying on my back on the living room carpet. I don't know if I technically "dropped" him on my face or (as I suspect) he executed a perfect dive bomb maneuver that smacked his forehead on the little crunchy bones where your nose turns into cartilage. It makes a sound like crushing a loaf of old French bread, by the way. I had to hand it to the little guy. That's how you get respect.

Posted by: Phinn at November 27, 2013 12:17 PM (ahINe)

41 I'm stuck too, kathysaysso, and it wouldn't suprise me if some freak did that.

Posted by: Infidel at November 27, 2013 12:17 PM (O/fK8)

42 Still my favorite baby-oriented YouTube video: http://tinyurl.com/kg8kt7g

Posted by: Sean Bannion[/i][/s][/u][/b] at November 27, 2013 12:18 PM (yz6yg)

What's more sick than a truck load of dead babies?

A live one trying to eat its way out.

Posted by: Invictus at November 27, 2013 12:18 PM (FBkKA)

44 I got one of them Whirlpool playpens...with the spin cycle. New keyboard! Stat!

Posted by: rickb223 at November 27, 2013 12:18 PM (8D0/R)

45 Everybody sing along with The Coop: Little Betty ate a pound of aspirin She got them from the shelf upon the wall Betty's mommy wasn't there to save her She didn't even hear her baby call Dead babies Can't take care of themselves Dead babies Can't take things off the shelf Well we didn't want you anyway Daddy is an agrophile in Texas Mommy's on the bar most every night Little Betty's sleeping in the graveyard Living there in burgundy and white (chorus)

Posted by: BlueStateRebel at November 27, 2013 12:19 PM (7ObY1)

46 We have found a shock collar to be best for toddlers. Babies can't run so a cattle prod is fine.

Posted by: OG Celtic-American at November 27, 2013 12:19 PM (vHRtU)

47 +1 on the "wind" thing. It works!

Posted by: EC at November 27, 2013 12:19 PM (doBIb)

48 Baby Recipe Thread?

Posted by: Zombie Dahmer at November 27, 2013 12:20 PM (ThG3L)

49 Nobody puts Baby in a corner.

Posted by: Johnny at November 27, 2013 12:20 PM (/1ATA)

50 got one of them Whirlpool playpens...with the spin cycle.

Posted by: Purp at November 27, 2013 04:11 PM (Xlbr

That's just proper astronaut training.

Posted by: Invictus at November 27, 2013 12:20 PM (FBkKA)

51 Dude's a little weird...

Posted by: Bob Seger at November 27, 2013 12:21 PM (aDwsi)

52 Too cute! Sounds like mom was the one recording it. Mom's a good sport. I luv babies.

Posted by: chique d'afrique (the artist formerly known as african chick) at November 27, 2013 12:22 PM (r+7wo)

53 That baby is going to grow up to be like my boy. His Uncle I taught him the "pork chop" move - a karate chop to the throat. He's dropped me to my knees more than once.

Posted by: shredded chi at November 27, 2013 12:23 PM (QHG6t)

54 what's this? obama has a Sharon Angle moment and "can tell who's an immigrant by looking at your faces"?

Posted by: soothsayer is connectin the dots at November 27, 2013 12:23 PM (XaJ3Z)

55 I miss having babies around, sometimes. Before they could talk.

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at November 27, 2013 12:23 PM (CJjw5)

56 On a related note, it is unethical to tattoo a baby until they're at least six months old.

Posted by: Hollowpoint at November 27, 2013 12:23 PM (SY2Kh)

57 holy shit that kid weighs more than I do!

Ease up on the baby cheeseburgers ffs.

Posted by: tangonine at November 27, 2013 12:24 PM (x3YFz)

58 I luv babies. Posted by: chique d'afrique (the artist formerly known as african chick) at November 27, 2013 04:22 PM (r+7wo) Pro tip: Don't tell a man that on your first date.

Posted by: Sean Bannion[/i][/s][/u][/b] at November 27, 2013 12:24 PM (yz6yg)

35 -

True story:

A young couple, living in a trailer park not far from here. They had a baby, and about 5 cats. They used to leave the baby home alone, because mom worked in the office at the trailer park, and dad was... wherever he was.

So one day she forgot to feed the cats. And as it so happens she wasn't able to leave the desk at the trailer park at lunchtime like she usually does, so the hungry cats were home along. With the baby. All day.

Know what she found when she got home?

Smelly trailer, and a bunch of cats meowing at her.

Posted by: BurtTC at November 27, 2013 12:24 PM (TOk1P)

60 Like dogs, babies cannot look up. Get them in a body lock and rain down hammer fists.

Posted by: UHF at November 27, 2013 12:25 PM (R6JT1)

61 I just show the baby a graph of how much 404Care is going to cost them over their lifetime -- makes em curl up into a little ball and cry every time.

That's right, I don't fight fair.

Posted by: GnuBreed at November 27, 2013 12:25 PM (wNF3N)

62 This is what happens to your kid when you're deployed 20 months of 2 years.

I'm referring to the father.

Posted by: tangonine at November 27, 2013 12:25 PM (x3YFz)

63 holy shit that kid weighs more than I do! Ease up on the baby cheeseburgers ffs. Posted by: tangonine at November 27, 2013 04:24 PM (x3YFz) Fat baby = good

Posted by: chique d'afrique (the artist formerly known as african chick) at November 27, 2013 12:26 PM (r+7wo)

64 No wonder I have always tried to rescue the dogs and cats from my babies! Have you ever seen a dog or a cat when a baby has a firm grip on an ear or tail?

Posted by: Mustbequantum at November 27, 2013 12:26 PM (MIKMs)

65 52...

I luv babies.

Posted by: chique d'afrique (the artist formerly known as african chick) at November 27, 2013 04:22 PM (r+7wo)

-------------------

So do I.

Posted by: Albert Fish at November 27, 2013 12:26 PM (TOk1P)

66 I miss the days when my son was an infant. Sometimes, I wish he could stay little forever.

Posted by: EC at November 27, 2013 12:27 PM (doBIb)

67 I love babies too, especially if they belong to someone else.

Posted by: Infidel at November 27, 2013 12:27 PM (O/fK8)

68 I luv babies.
Posted by: chique d'afrique (the artist formerly known as african chick) at November 27, 2013 04:22 PM

Me too.

Posted by: A Dingo at November 27, 2013 12:27 PM (SY2Kh)

Grrrr, apparently it doesn't matter how many times you hit return. You're still going to get a bunched up post.

Ace, I will eat you if you don't fix your darned website.

Posted by: Albert Fish at November 27, 2013 12:27 PM (TOk1P)

70 60 Like dogs, babies cannot look up. Get them in a body lock and rain down hammer fists.

Posted by: UHF at November 27, 2013 04:25 PM (R6JT1)

Just put Icy Hot in the diaper. And step back.

Posted by: tangonine at November 27, 2013 12:27 PM (x3YFz)

71 4 Threadwinner! If this was your number, go to the ticket window and collect your winnings.

Posted by: Tattoo De Plane at November 27, 2013 12:27 PM (Y92Nd)

72 Try the veal.

Posted by: GnuBreed at November 27, 2013 12:28 PM (wNF3N)

73 "They showed this on Red Eye last night but I was too busy ogling Jedediah Bila to notice it much."
===============

Isn't she just amazing? I can't even catch my breath sometimes when she's on there. I didn't know they made skirts that short.

Posted by: Kensington at November 27, 2013 12:28 PM (uaEZS)

74 Ace, I will eat you if you don't fix your darned website.

Posted by: Albert Fish at November 27, 2013 04:27 PM (TOk1P)

shift + return, rookie.

Posted by: tangonine at November 27, 2013 12:28 PM (x3YFz)

75 I also like babies before they can talk and become all snotty-like. I like well(-ish) behaved toddlers, too, the non-bratty ones. When they reach the age of 4 or so, they begin to lose their appeal. I am indifferent to children older than that and only start actively liking people in their mid-twenties and older.

Posted by: chique d'afrique (the artist formerly known as african chick) at November 27, 2013 12:29 PM (r+7wo)

76 That guy is in so much trouble when his wife gets home.

Posted by: t-bird at November 27, 2013 12:29 PM (FcR7P)

77 I luv babies. Posted by: chique d'afriqueÂ Me too. They taste like chicken.

Posted by: shredded chi at November 27, 2013 12:30 PM (QHG6t)

78 The problem with babies is they're unemployed lay-abouts who contribute nothing to society. And it's always about them. And would it hurt them to not shit in their pants?

Ridiculous.

Posted by: Dr Spank at November 27, 2013 12:30 PM (P1WNR)

79 shift + return, rookie. Um, where is shift & return on an HTC 4G smartphone?

Posted by: rickb223 at November 27, 2013 12:30 PM (8D0/R)

80 Personally?

Hate kids.

The End.

Posted by: tangonine at November 27, 2013 12:30 PM (x3YFz)

81
We'll kick that conservatives ass for hurting that baby.

Posted by: Eric Holder, US Attorney General isimo at November 27, 2013 12:30 PM (pJF+c)

82 Had a cat who knew exactly how to keep the kids off it. She would deploy the claws just enough to be little pinpricks and tap the kid with her paw. Kids got the message with no drama.

Posted by: bonhomme at November 27, 2013 12:30 PM (etNEE)

83 Babies will almost always submit once you choke-slam them on top of a pile of rusty scrap iron.

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at November 27, 2013 12:31 PM (CJjw5)

84 Um, where is shift & return on an
HTC 4G smartphone?

Posted by: rickb223 at November 27, 2013 04:30 PM (8D0/R)

(looking it up... standby...)

apparently it's in Chris Angel's magician cage.

Posted by: tangonine at November 27, 2013 12:32 PM (x3YFz)

85 Phinn, my wife's niece puked in her mouth once when she was doing the same thing. Hilarious.

Posted by: Weirddave at November 27, 2013 12:32 PM (N/cFh)

86 My wife attacked me with a baby once. I haven't been the same since.

Posted by: --- at November 27, 2013 12:32 PM (MMC8r)

87 83 Babies will almost always submit once you choke-slam them on top of a pile of rusty scrap iron. I liked to disorient my infant son by throwing him into the air above me. He got to experience zero gravity for a few seconds.

Posted by: EC at November 27, 2013 12:32 PM (doBIb)

88 Thing I hate about babies is that you have to wait a good two years before they're old enough to fetch beer from the fridge.

Posted by: Hollowpoint at November 27, 2013 12:32 PM (SY2Kh)

89 I'm glad the baby nailed him.

Posted by: PJ at November 27, 2013 12:33 PM (ZWaLo)

90 (looking it up... standby...) apparently it's in Chris Angel's magician cage. Crap.

Posted by: rickb223 at November 27, 2013 12:33 PM (8D0/R)

91 84 Um, where is shift return on an

HTC 4G smartphone?

Posted by: rickb223 at November 27, 2013 04:30 PM (8D0/R)

Guess that smart phone ain't so smart, now, is it?

Posted by: tangonine at November 27, 2013 12:33 PM (x3YFz)

92 Yeah, my son was blocky like this tot. Lasted about a year, then string-bean for the next 12 years. Not worth sweating.

Posted by: spongeworthy at November 27, 2013 12:33 PM (r5w1L)

93
I've come close to having about four babies, but thankfully the government stepped in and saved me from that fate.

Posted by: Sandra Fluke at November 27, 2013 12:33 PM (pJF+c)

94 DYFS will be knocking on his door in 3..2..

Posted by: dananjcon at November 27, 2013 12:33 PM (wmU4G)

95 Wait until little baby learns how to use det cord.

Posted by: Soona at November 27, 2013 12:34 PM (FtgP2)

96 92 Yeah, my son was blocky like this tot. Lasted about a year, then string-bean for the next 12 years. Not worth sweating. That's what sucking on a breast will do!

Posted by: EC at November 27, 2013 12:34 PM (doBIb)

97 I liked to disorient my infant son by throwing him into the air above me. He got to experience zero gravity for a few seconds. My daughter still loves that. She's 3. Quite the deltoid workout, it is.

Posted by: Sean Bannion[/i][/s][/u][/b] at November 27, 2013 12:34 PM (yz6yg)

98 I've been hurt by a baby. They have that baby death grip and when they larch onto your hair, nose, or glasses, it can really hurt. Also, the baby head butt. They'll be crying but you are also in pain. Best to cry together.

Posted by: François Villon at November 27, 2013 12:35 PM (kkbgQ)

99 Let me be clear, you should not be punished with that baby and with the legislation I'm supporting you'll be able to take care of that little problem once and for all.

Posted by: State Senator Barack H. Obama at November 27, 2013 12:35 PM (GgGgG)

100 As you can probably guess, the bleeding heart libs are all over this. They can't see how he's gently playing with his baby, carefully cradling his neck, etc.

Posted by: Cory C at November 27, 2013 12:35 PM (DEWip)

101 Wait until little baby learns how to use det cord. That was a perfectly good mouthful of Basil Hayden's. DAMMIT.

Posted by: Sean Bannion[/i][/s][/u][/b] at November 27, 2013 12:35 PM (yz6yg)

102 64 No wonder I have always tried to rescue the dogs and cats from my babies! Have you ever seen a dog or a cat when a baby has a firm grip on an ear or tail?

Posted by: Mustbequantum at November 27, 2013 04:26 PM (MIKMs)

My suspicions that our cat, Bel, gave birth before we adopted her from the shelter became a bit firmer this past month. She lets Pookette tug her fur, grab her ears, and even tug on her tail. I'm waiting for the day when Bel decides Pookette is old enough to be bopped on the nose.

Posted by: pookysgirl at November 27, 2013 12:36 PM (kMnHs)

103 Moon tea.

Posted by: Cersei Lannister at November 27, 2013 12:36 PM (ThG3L)

104 66 I miss the days when my son was an infant. Sometimes, I wish he could stay little forever.

Posted by: EC at November 27, 2013 04:27 PM (doBIb)

Yeah, well, I for one do not miss washing all those diapers, wiping up all that poo and puke, and getting up at all hours to deal with his issues.

But I would give a lot to be able to sniff that baby-head again.

Posted by: tcn at November 27, 2013 12:36 PM (fwcEs)

105 Do people really have a problem with fat infants who can't even walk yet? Really, people??? I was reportedly a very, very fat baby, and at my largest after that, I could have perhaps been described as slightly plump by haters. And my lil bro who was like the Michelin man and had no neck as a baby, he was so fat, my li'l bro is now super skinny. Fat babies just look happy, healthy and well-fed to me.

Posted by: chique d'afrique (the artist formerly known as african chick) at November 27, 2013 12:36 PM (r+7wo)

106 You put a 40W laser into each eye, then you invert the crib and call in an airstrike.

WARNING: they will pee in your face. So bring a towel.

WARNING: If they drop a deuce, you will be incapacitated for several seconds. Push through it.

Posted by: tangonine at November 27, 2013 12:36 PM (x3YFz)

107 Yes she is a classic beauty..

http://tinyurl.com/lc9gdtg

BrB

...Wallmart.

Posted by: dananjcon at November 27, 2013 12:37 PM (wmU4G)

108 Best way to get the upper hand on a baby: Like hockey, pull up their shirt over their faces. They can't do shit to you while they try to figure out how to get out.

Posted by: EC at November 27, 2013 12:37 PM (doBIb)

109 I liked to disorient my infant son by throwing him into the air above me. He got to experience zero gravity for a few seconds.

A few seconds? You threw him fifty feet in the air?

Posted by: Hollowpoint at November 27, 2013 12:37 PM (SY2Kh)

110 As you can probably guess, the bleeding heart libs are all over this. They can't see how he's gently playing with his baby, carefully cradling his neck, etc. Which is hilarious because everything about that guy and his surroundings screams liberal hipster urban douchebag daddy

Posted by: Sean Bannion[/i][/s][/u][/b] at November 27, 2013 12:37 PM (yz6yg)

111 Fat babies just look happy, healthy and well-fed to me.

Posted by: chique d'afrique (the artist formerly known as african chick) at November 27, 2013 04:36 PM (r+7wo)

It was just a joke. thick skin and re-reading are the critical parts of being an 'ette.

And you're still my fav.

Posted by: tangonine at November 27, 2013 12:38 PM (x3YFz)

112 Close enough to 100 for an OT -- C. W. Cooke's latest piece has some good news and some quite disturbing news:

http://tinyurl.com/pv2ao6z

The good is that the CO senator targeted for recall has decided to resign.

The bad is that anti-gun zealots are resorting to stalking behavior to harass petitioners.

Posted by: GnuBreed at November 27, 2013 12:39 PM (wNF3N)

113 Yeah, well, I for one do not miss washing all those diapers, wiping up all that poo and puke, and getting up at all hours to deal with his issues. I did not mind any of that. I would gladly do it all over again. I changed more diapers and cleaned up more puke than nursing home workers.

Posted by: EC at November 27, 2013 12:39 PM (doBIb)

114 Mmmmm.... fat babies. The kind where you want to pinch those thighs. And sniff their heads, of course.

Posted by: tcn at November 27, 2013 12:39 PM (fwcEs)

115 It was just a joke. thick skin and re-reading are the critical parts of being an 'ette. And you're still my fav. Posted by: tangonine at November 27, 2013 04:38 PM (x3YFz) So sweet. I figured yours was a joke but then someone else seemed to take it seriously. After I posted my comment, it did seem a little overwrought, something I pride myself on not being. Sigh. Just forget it happened. *slinks away embarrassed.*

Posted by: chique d'afrique (the artist formerly known as african chick) at November 27, 2013 12:40 PM (r+7wo)

116 Buncha baby head sniffers around here.

Posted by: eleven at November 27, 2013 12:40 PM (fsLdt)

117 My son slammed me in the face with his bob the builder toy hammer and split my lip and gave me a nose bleed when he was a toddler He was freaked out at the blood on mama's face and the string of profanities I let fly.

Posted by: Paranoidgirlinseattle at November 27, 2013 12:41 PM (RZ8pf)

118 The good is that the CO senator targeted for recall has decided to resign. The bad is that anti-gun zealots are resorting to stalking behavior to harass petitioners. Stalking gun owners. Possibly with their chl. This will turn out well......

Posted by: rickb223 at November 27, 2013 12:41 PM (8D0/R)

119 Just forget it happened. *slinks away embarrassed.*

Posted by: chique d'afrique (the artist formerly known as african chick) at November 27, 2013 04:40 PM (r+7wo)

If you slink away I'll cover your 6 with claymores. Yer good.

Posted by: tangonine at November 27, 2013 12:41 PM (x3YFz)

120 Buncha baby head sniffers around here. As long as it's the baby head......

Posted by: rickb223 at November 27, 2013 12:42 PM (8D0/R)

121 If you slink away I'll cover your 6 with claymores. Yer good. A real friend would throw in interlocking fields of fire too. Jus' sayin'

Posted by: Sean Bannion[/i][/s][/u][/b] at November 27, 2013 12:42 PM (yz6yg)

122 Isn't the dad on some TV show or something? Just love the video. The baby is ridiculously cute and I feel like just hugging and kissing him (her?). It feels so good when they play on you (when not pulling your hair or other objects attached to you) and hold on to you. Then they spoil everything by growing up.

Posted by: chique d'afrique (the artist formerly known as african chick) at November 27, 2013 12:43 PM (r+7wo)

123
Best smells evah? Babies and new cars!

Posted by: Doctor Fish at November 27, 2013 12:43 PM (pJF+c)

124 My son was a plumper as an infant. My wife's friends would also notice his "meaty little thighs" and try to squeeze them like ham hocks.

Posted by: EC at November 27, 2013 12:45 PM (doBIb)

125

I love babies. I think everyone else should have one.

Posted by: Soona at November 27, 2013 12:46 PM (FtgP2)

126 The preceding has been rated TV-MA L Â– Coarse Luvs S Â– Suggestive content V Â– Vomiting

Posted by: UHF at November 27, 2013 12:46 PM (R6JT1)

127 Btw, compared to the beloved little brother when he was a wee babe, this baby is positively anorexic.

Posted by: chique d'afrique (the artist formerly known as african chick) at November 27, 2013 12:46 PM (r+7wo)

128 118 The good is that the CO senator targeted for recall has decided to resign.

The bad is that anti-gun zealots are resorting to stalking behavior to harass petitioners.

Stalking gun owners. Possibly with their chl. This will turn out well......

Posted by: rickb223 at November 27, 2013 04:41 PM (8D0/R)

I have a Navy corpsman I know. He's a 10 year vet so he's patched up a few folks. Let your imagination run and he's been that guy.

Two nights ago he pulls me aside and asks if I have any 30 round mags for an AR, because he got the (his words) "cute 10 round mag."

The rest of the conversation won't be posted here, but the point is a Navy corpsman, ducking IEDs and RPGs for multiple deployments in asscrackistan can't get a 30 round mag at home? The gods of Fucked Up are calling and laughing at us.

Posted by: tangonine at November 27, 2013 12:47 PM (x3YFz)

129 Ever wonder what ace looked like as a baby? Yeah, me neither. But if I did, I would imagine him with a full head of cury hair -- a real joo fro. Cubby little thighs and a fag hanging out of the left side of his mouth - unlit. (His mom wouldn't let him start smoking until he could flix his own Zippo, which he got for his 3rd birthday. Oh, and ace wouldn't wear pampers or that other shit. He would go commando...

Posted by: François Villon at November 27, 2013 12:48 PM (kkbgQ)

130 The preceding has been rated TV-MA L � Coarse Luvs S � Suggestive content V � Vomiting Tune in next week to see what's new on American Horror Story!

Posted by: rickb223 at November 27, 2013 12:48 PM (8D0/R)

131 You guys don't recognize Gavin McInnes? He's on Red Eye all the time. Not a Lib. He's one of us.

Posted by: Jimmy Doolittle at November 27, 2013 12:49 PM (my4HO)

132 He's the guy from It's Always Sunny In Philidelphia. The mom is the blond on the show.

Posted by: François Villon at November 27, 2013 12:50 PM (kkbgQ)

133 Baby Ace?

http://tinyurl.com/ko2y5xc

Posted by: dananjcon at November 27, 2013 12:50 PM (wmU4G)

134 The rest of the conversation won't be posted here, but the point is a Navy corpsman, ducking IEDs and RPGs for multiple deployments in asscrackistan can't get a 30 round mag at home? Where is he? Mags? Easy. Ammo? Getting better.

Posted by: rickb223 at November 27, 2013 12:51 PM (8D0/R)

135 He's the guy from It's Always Sunny In Philidelphia. Danny Devito?

Posted by: EC at November 27, 2013 12:51 PM (doBIb)

136 Baby Ace? http://tinyurl.com/ko2y5xc Posted by: dananjcon at November 27, 2013 04:50 PM (wmU4G) That is frightening. And probably accurate.

Posted by: chique d'afrique (the artist formerly known as african chick) at November 27, 2013 12:52 PM (r+7wo)

137 Maybe, not....

Posted by: François Villon at November 27, 2013 12:52 PM (kkbgQ)

138 Oh look Ace's first onesy!

http://tinyurl.com/mpr5eda

Posted by: dananjcon at November 27, 2013 12:53 PM (wmU4G)

139

74 -

I say this with absolute kindness, tangonine, but I find it amusing when people whose nics just showed up here a few weeks ago talk like they know everything. And compete for "top poster" honors.

Different devices handle this function differently. I refuse to learn how to navigate this arcane website's idiosyncracies. All you geniuses who do aren't going to change the fact that it should be fixed a long time ago.

Posted by: BurtTC at November 27, 2013 12:54 PM (TOk1P)

140 I need to clean my keyboard. It seems like a third of the letters don't appear.

Posted by: François Villon at November 27, 2013 12:55 PM (kkbgQ)

141 Do not miss the messes at all. I had two in diapers, one just out, pregnant with the fourth (unable to bend over well) and elderly pets with continence problems. Learned more about stomach and intestinal functions than I ever wanted to learn. Babies are fun after six months until kindergarden. My dad always swore that school ruined perfectly good mini-humans.

Posted by: Mustbequantum at November 27, 2013 12:56 PM (MIKMs)

142 How to fight a Baby? take his teleprompter away from him.

Posted by: blue at November 27, 2013 02:18 PM (vC6Bj)

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