Ace of Spades HQ

June 16, 2013

Interesting article on the livability of NYC [CBD]
— Open Blogger

This might validate some of the opinions of the Morons who are less than enthusiastic about the glory that is NYC.

Follow-up article below the jump [courtesy of commenter "Paul"] "Fleeing New Yorkers Turned Back At City Limits"

In response to our earlier story about the citizens of New York City abandoning their city, a group of citizens from the rest of the country quickly mobilized to contain the evacuation and keep the New Yorkers in place.
"Those dumbasses elected Bloomberg, now they can live with him." a member of a hastily improvised militia told our reporter.
Others expressed sympathy for the trapped city dwellers: "It's nothing personal, you understand. But we can't let what happened in New York City spread any further than it already has." said Susie Crabapple, who travelled from her home in Peoria, Illinois to take part.
Other respondents were less charitable. "Let. It. Burn. Let it all burn!"
Around the country, citizen militias are drawing up plans to contain Detroit, Chicago, Los Angeles, San Francisco, Philadelphia and many others, if necessary.
When President Obama was contacted for his opinion on the matter, his answer was "Wait a minute. What happened? Sorry, I was out late at a fundraiser last night and didn't have to chance to watch the news this morning."

Posted by: Open Blogger at 09:22 AM | Comments (146)
Post contains 226 words, total size 2 kb.

1 NYC? How the heck did I end up here?

Posted by: Tobacco Road at June 16, 2013 09:22 AM (4Mv1T)

2 Ah, encouraging readers to use an Onion article to validate their opinions.

Strong is the The Troll in this One.

Posted by: weft cut-loop [/i] [/b] at June 16, 2013 09:24 AM (H4Rpo)

3 Sure hope they don't move to Colorado.

Posted by: Infidel at June 16, 2013 09:25 AM (gqEUi)

4 The population of my entire state is only a little larger than NYC. I would probably find it a wee bit cramped.

Posted by: Tobacco Road at June 16, 2013 09:26 AM (4Mv1T)

5 ( Glances around, panicky voice.... ) WTH? I'm in Neu Yawk! I'm outta here ASAP!

Posted by: backhoe at June 16, 2013 09:26 AM (ULH4o)

6 And for those interested, I emailed Andy re: Gun Thread, but there is no word. Might be out shooting...guns.

Posted by: Tobacco Road at June 16, 2013 09:27 AM (4Mv1T)

7 Having lived and worked in New York Shittie during the '80's. I can state honestly, it has, and always will be a Hell hole. It could fall off the face of the Earth and I wouldn't blink an eye.

Posted by: FUBAR at June 16, 2013 09:29 AM (Cs2tJ)

8 That is hilarious.

Posted by: rickl at June 16, 2013 09:29 AM (sdi6R)

9 They already did move to Denver. (Californians moved to Boulder.)

Posted by: boulder toilet hobo at June 16, 2013 09:29 AM (LggOY)

10 It's only funny because it's so fucking spot on.

Posted by: Sean Bannion at June 16, 2013 09:29 AM (AJTbJ)

I went there once about 40 years ago and swore I'd never go back.

So far so good.

Posted by: Meremortal at June 16, 2013 09:30 AM (1Y+hH)

Then I moved out of Denver and into the mountains.

Another good idea.

Posted by: Meremortal at June 16, 2013 09:30 AM (1Y+hH)

13 "This place sucks," Manhattan resident Woody Allen, 74, told reporters. "It just fucking sucks." Heh.

Posted by: rickl at June 16, 2013 09:31 AM (sdi6R)

14 Just don't move north to my area. I'm thinking it's time to build that wall on the ~~Bronx~~ Yonkers border.

Posted by: mugiwara at June 16, 2013 09:31 AM (6BnTn)

15 I trust the Onion more than the NYT.

Posted by: Infidel at June 16, 2013 09:32 AM (gqEUi)

16 I'd like to visit the Big Apple, but I sure as hell wouldn't want to live there.

Posted by: CrotchetyOldJarhead at June 16, 2013 09:32 AM (osdNx)

17 I lived in upstate NY back in the early 70s. They had nothing but disdain for NYC even then.

Posted by: Vic at June 16, 2013 09:33 AM (lZvxr)

18 "This place sucks," Manhattan resident Woody Allen, 74, told reporters. "It just fucking sucks."

I know for a fact that pedophile lives most of the year in Ocean Beach, a remote enclave of rich lib douchebags on Fire IslandNY. It's pretty much inaccessible during the winter months yet, there he is. Locals call him a fucking hermit.

Posted by: FUBAR at June 16, 2013 09:34 AM (Cs2tJ)

19 We have several FEMA Camps here in Texas for all your yankee asses

Posted by: Beto at June 16, 2013 09:34 AM (MhA4j)

20 Wife keeps threatening to want to visit. Negative Ghostrider, that pattern is full.

Posted by: [/i][/b][/s]akula_51 at June 16, 2013 09:34 AM (Vgn84)

21 Been to NYC once, in 97, for a weekend and a show with the wife. She loved it.

Me? I especially liked trying to hail a cab while running 40 blocks, count 'em, at 5PM on a Friday. Made it to dinner and the show. I'm 6'4" and my knees could barely fit behind the seat in front of me at "Phantom"

I need a little more space in life. To each his own, I guess.

Posted by: Tobacco Road at June 16, 2013 09:34 AM (4Mv1T)

22 I lived in upstate NY back in the early 70s. They had nothing but disdain for NYC even then. In the 70s, they had every right to, as John Lindsay was doing his dead set best to run the place straight into the ground.

Posted by: Sean Bannion at June 16, 2013 09:35 AM (AJTbJ)

23 The week I arrived, planes flew into tall buildings. Then there was a 36-hour rainstorm that flooded almost all the subways. Later, we were part of a multi-state blackout. Sometime after that, an incompetent bomber tried to blow up Times Square, a block from my apartment. Just before, or just after that (I forget which) a gangsta rapper/conman/thug drew down on cops and died in a hail of bullets (right across the street from the bomber). Later that summer, I slept through a multi-alarm fire at the far end of my block.

I kinda miss it,

Posted by: Little Miss Spellcheck at June 16, 2013 09:36 AM (a5ljo)

Boulder-

They already did move to Denver. (Californians moved to Boulder.)

Yea, they are here on the West Slope too. Someone wrote to the paper that in the 6 years he's been here we have turned far right. LOL. That's why they are having a meeting this week on global warming and inversions in the valley in the winter. I'm tempted to go and suggest they cut down the mountains surrounding us so we don't live in a valley and have to endure inversions due to bad weather in the winter.

Posted by: Infidel at June 16, 2013 09:36 AM (gqEUi)

25 From what I understand now upstate has been polluted with the libtards just like The City.

Posted by: Vic at June 16, 2013 09:36 AM (lZvxr)

26 25 From what I understand now upstate has been polluted with the libtards just like The City.

Posted by: Vic at June 16, 2013 01:36 PM (lZvxr)

SUNY is the reason.

Posted by: FUBAR at June 16, 2013 09:37 AM (Cs2tJ)

27 Fun fact: New York State has three geographical regions: The City, The Island, and Upstate.

Posted by: rickl at June 16, 2013 09:39 AM (sdi6R)

They had nothing but disdain for NYC even then.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Born and raised Upstate. I think we sent our garbage downstate, or maybe Jersey. I visited NYC about 3 years ago. It really does smell like sh!t, especially after a rainstorm.

Posted by: 3M at June 16, 2013 09:39 AM (Ph479)

29 SUNY is the reason.

Posted by: FUBAR at June 16, 2013 01:37 PM (Cs2tJ)

Hell they had Skidmore where I was at but the horse people kept them straight.

Posted by: Vic at June 16, 2013 09:39 AM (lZvxr)

30 A post about NYC wouldn't be complete without an off-topic comment regarding CA.

"Aetna Pulls Out Of California Individual Insurance Market In Response To Obamacare"

Wa-wa.

Posted by: weft cut-loop [/i] [/b] at June 16, 2013 09:41 AM (H4Rpo)

31 So NYC smells like shit now. I guess that is on par with SF which smells like piss. Maybe they should combine the two and have a real sewer.

Posted by: Vic at June 16, 2013 09:43 AM (lZvxr)

32 But there's lots of free shit to be had there.

Posted by: Low Information Voter at June 16, 2013 09:44 AM (uLzrM)

33 Should've added: "I lived here so long one day I started fucking my stepdaughter. Who the hell does that? This place drove me fucking insane," said resident Woody Allen.

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at June 16, 2013 09:44 AM (V1ZIU)

34 Hell they had Skidmore where I was at but the horse people kept them straight.

Posted by: Vic at June 16, 2013 01:39 PM (lZvxr)

SUNY's are like petri dishe experiments, the fungus takes hold in little colonies then BAM! it's spreads like wildfire.

Posted by: FUBAR at June 16, 2013 09:45 AM (Cs2tJ)

All you haters should be forced to eat nothing but Chicago style Pizza.

No thin crust for you!

Posted by: garrett at June 16, 2013 09:45 AM (rzpLk)

36 From what I understand now upstate has been polluted with the libtards just like The City.
Posted by: Vic at June 16, 2013 01:36 PM (lZvxr)
SUNY is the reason.
Posted by: FUBAR at June 16, 2013 01:37 PM (Cs2tJ)

The watermelons killed all of upstate NY's manufacturing base. All that's left are welfare druggies, colleges, and the service industries that cater to the students. The remaining business operators tend to resent the college kids, even though the college kids are their only real source of income. They blame them for destroying their once great cities. Considering that the schools teach the kids to go forth and elect politicians who promise to further ruin upstate, they have a good point.

Posted by: mugiwara at June 16, 2013 09:45 AM (6BnTn)

37 I sent this to an old friend who moved to the city several years ago.

He claims that he has said every single one of the complaints in the article.

The sad thing is that Giuliani cleaned up the city and left it to its own devices, as long as they didn't include crime.

Now? Bloomberg has lost control of crime (they fudge the numbers) and turned it into his own little National Socialist playground.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at June 16, 2013 09:45 AM (WW8xK)

"Aetna Pulls Out Of California Individual Insurance Market In Response To Obamacare"

Heh! Almost as good as the headline over at WZ regarding NYU kicking out their blind Chinese protestor hero. Like those turds have convictions.

Posted by: CrotchetyOldJarhead at June 16, 2013 09:46 AM (x1L8S)

39 Sodom and Gomorrah aspired to be NYC.

Posted by: Berserker at June 16, 2013 09:46 AM (FMbng)

40 Chicago style Pizza.

Posted by: garrett at June 16, 2013 01:45 PM (rzpLk)

That's an overrated food.

Amazing that people get excited about it.

Tomato and sausage pie.

Big fucking deal.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at June 16, 2013 09:47 AM (WW8xK)

41 Chicago Style Pizza isn't food.

Posted by: garrett at June 16, 2013 09:50 AM (rzpLk)

>>Strong is the The Troll in this One.

He is a Master Baiter.

Posted by: Mama AJ at June 16, 2013 09:51 AM (SUKHu)

43 I've been to NYC once, for a weekend trip. As someone born and raised out west, I immediately noticed that it's not hard for someone to live and work in Manhattan and not see the horizon for days or weeks due to the tall buildings. The thought depressed me.

Posted by: Vendette at June 16, 2013 09:52 AM (iXuYG)

44 The last time I was in NYC, I figured out one thing. It has two colors: New Dirt and Old Dirt. Everyone wears black in self defense.

In the cab on the way to the airport, I saw an old rusty wire box spring that had been at the side of the highway long enough for a twenty foot tree to grown up through it. I have often wondered if that tree had grown around the wires by now.

Posted by: Sherry McEvil, Stiletto Corsettes C'est Magnifique at June 16, 2013 09:53 AM (kXoT0)

45 Absolutely OT (though NYC can slide into the sea for all I care. If only a good fault line could be had....):

The average years of service for a Congressman is about ten. The average for a Senator is about twelve to thirteen. The leaders of both Houses are presumably considerably higher in years of active governance.

When they say "trust them" on immigration and the border, why haven't they done anything before? The last decade saw how many immigrants coming in on their watch? And they want me to trust them? When they have given absolutely no evidence of collective concern before this? Please.

And on Mr. Rubio--he says "compassion". My compassion is for my Uncle, basically a blue-collar day laborer, and the son of a World War II combat Marine. Him I have compassion for, the man whom the politicians will ignore to endorse the interests of others. Because my uncle's skin color is not trendy enough.

Posted by: The End at June 16, 2013 09:53 AM (N57hb)

46 NYC is even worse than you think. Until recently, I was a resident of this unhappy hellhole. At least 1/3 of the libtard population spend their miserable lives convincing themselves there is no place they'd rather be. They rush home to their shabby, overpriced apartments with peeling ceilings and radiators in fringe neighborhoods like Inwood and like to congratulate themselves for living in such "diverse" neighborhoods. Truth is, you need a broken bottle and a 38 to walk around after dark.

Posted by: Kim at June 16, 2013 09:53 AM (ICqvM)

47 I &hearts; free shit.

Posted by: Low Information Voter at June 16, 2013 09:53 AM (uLzrM)

48 LIV do character code fail

Posted by: Low Information Voter at June 16, 2013 09:54 AM (uLzrM)

49 Bloomie can't keep the NYC streets plowed but he's ready to stop the flooding from the violent storms and the rise of the oceans.
At least the residents who stay have that to look forward to.

Posted by: Hank at June 16, 2013 09:54 AM (adMMf)

50 I really hate being in big crowds. Hell its bad enough going to a hockey name or to the ball park. I cannot imagine being packed like a sardine in my home. I'd be really cranky without a yard and a garden to work in.

Posted by: CrotchetyOldJarhead at June 16, 2013 09:55 AM (Os+6p)

51 I ♥ free shit. There, that's better.

Posted by: Low Information Voter at June 16, 2013 09:57 AM (uLzrM)

52 We were recently informed that the state police and state attorneys will no longer be confirming if a particular firearm configuration is legal under Connecticut's new gun control law.

Essentially manufacturers can read the law, have our lawyers read the law, manufacture a configuration we believe is legal, and only after we start selling them will the state police and state attorneys review the product. We have no way to determine what they will do if it ends up not being legal under their interpretation of the law, if there will just be a recall or if people will be going to jail for having an "assault weapon".

Posted by: Wang Canfa at June 16, 2013 09:57 AM (e8kgV)

True story: spend a day in 1998 at Greenpoint Waste water treatment plant, where we were commissioning an odor control unit.

The place smelled like...you guessed it....shit.

Great view of Manhatten, though.

The people at that end of Brooklyn always looked miserable, too.

Interesting place to visit (I guess) but...of course the New Yawkers I know think I'm a rube for living in Ohio. Where I can walk to a quiet lake. Where it's quiet in the morning. Where there is virtually no crime (at least in my neck of the woods). What a rube I am.

Posted by: Reader C.J. Burch writes more nonsense at.... at June 16, 2013 09:58 AM (I2uSp)

54 Sure hope they don't move to Colorado.

Either that, or they'll move to Teton County, Wyoming (Jackson, that is). Yes, even Wyoming is infected with ruinous liberals. Teton County went for Obama by about 14% if I read the report correctly.

If I were Warlord of Wyoming, I would have called in airstrikes until Jackson was reduced to cinders, and lined the charred streets with crucified hipster douches.

Posted by: Rowdy Higlander Rabble at June 16, 2013 10:00 AM (N2ZpF)

I remember one time while I was living in the re-education camps on Long Island when we were taken into the city to see how our betters lived. I was in awe of the tall buildings and the funny small rooms that made you feel weird when the doors closed and the lit up buttons were pressed.

I remember that the place smelled liked one of my New England aunt's house that had all the cats but you couldn't go outside to escape the smell because it was everywhere.

True - I lived on LI back in the late 50's to '61 when we left for Tampa, yea...just in time for the Cuban Missile crisis.

I go back to FL, but it will be a cold day in hell before I ever set foot in NYC.

Posted by: Gmac at June 16, 2013 10:00 AM (IanLz)

56 Truth is, you need a broken bottle and a 38 to walk around after dark.

Come on, I won't deny New York is commie central and the cost of living sucks and the whole city is incredibly crowded, but you definitely do not need a 38 to walk around after dark. I've lived here for about a decade and, if anything, it's biggest problem lately (outside of commies) is rich yuppies and Euro jet trash moving in and driving up the cost of everything. It's not a ghetto and you're perfectly safe walking around most of Manhattan late at night. Even Harlem has gentrified a bit.

Now, continue...

Posted by: AD at June 16, 2013 10:01 AM (YCDYX)

57 Yea, I'm a rube too. Glad we just had a 20 minute rain shower with sun out now. Won't have to water the garden or flowers.

Posted by: Infidel at June 16, 2013 10:01 AM (gqEUi)

58 Try driving a truck there. Did that for more than a year from a small place in Connecticut delivering safety equipment. It really, really sucks. Leave home about 0400 and not get back out of that hell hole until well after 1800. Every Tuesday and Thursday.

Posted by: Johnnyreb at June 16, 2013 10:03 AM (6McTJ)

59 Also from The Onion: Advanced Alien Civilization Discovers Uninhabitable Planet http://tinyurl.com/mk77hf8 Be sure to read it all the way to the end.

Posted by: rickl at June 16, 2013 10:04 AM (sdi6R)

60 I've been to NYC once. It was suffocatingly crowded and smelled like urine.

I don't want to live anywhere where I'm not 10 minutes drive from farmland.

Posted by: Warden at June 16, 2013 10:05 AM (0DlnM)

61 OMG! Someone has hacked the Onion now?

The sick bastards are posting actual content on what should be a light-hearted relief from daily stress.

Who would do such a thing?

Posted by: gastorgrab at June 16, 2013 10:06 AM (FX38i)

62 Its dirty and it stinks. Only a prog would think its a great place. Did I mention NYC stinks?

Posted by: Big Brother is tracking comments at June 16, 2013 10:07 AM (xFmQB)

63 I don't want to live anywhere where I'm not 10 minutes drive from farmland.

Posted by: Warden

Hiding bodies can be a bitch in the concrete jungle.

Posted by: weft cut-loop [/i] [/b] at June 16, 2013 10:07 AM (H4Rpo)

64 I grew up in Staten Island, two miles from the world's largest garbage dump, and had no idea it smelled until I went away to college. I've lived upstate now for the last 25 years and will soon be off to Idaho. I won't be missing it too much.

Posted by: Captain's daughter at June 16, 2013 10:08 AM (Jx+1u)

65 in NYC, if you win the rat race you're still a rat. Chicago is not much different these days save that you get some exercise dodging the bullets.

Posted by: Chicago Voter at June 16, 2013 10:09 AM (qZb8X)

Posted by: WolfinNC at June 16, 2013 10:10 AM (HVOxM)

67 Google looks to deploy balloons to offer Internet access. I wish this wan an Onion piece. With a project name like Loon. One commentator has an excellent way to derail the project that appeals to emotions - what would be the environmental impact of all these balloons?

http://tinyurl.com/mdcw4kp

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at June 16, 2013 10:10 AM (HReLM)

68 You're all just jealous because you don't have all the smart and cultured people so you gotta hate on the only city that matters!!

Posted by: cat pee troll at June 16, 2013 10:11 AM (/9IC1)

69 The sad part is this Onion article is almost completely true except for the people leaving the city mass...

Posted by: Willaim Eaton at June 16, 2013 10:11 AM (rwioF)

70 SUNY is the reason.
Posted by: FUBAR
------------------

Universities are often the downfall of communities. That is certainly true where I live. Rather than assets, which they should be, they become festering sores of Left/Liberal/Progressive cant/political influence.

Posted by: Mike Hammer at June 16, 2013 10:12 AM (aDwsi)

71 Truth is, you need a broken bottle and a 38 to walk around after dark.

Come on, I won't deny New York is commie central and the cost of living sucks and the whole city is incredibly crowded, but you definitely do not need a 38 to walk around after dark. I've lived here for about a decade and, if anything, it's biggest problem lately (outside of commies) is rich yuppies and Euro jet trash moving in and driving up the cost of everything. It's not a ghetto and you're perfectly safe walking around most of Manhattan late at night. Even Harlem has gentrified a bit.

The gentrification shit never really happened in most of upper Manhattan.
Inwood is just below the Bronx. A lot of the cute little restaurants and shops closed as fast as they opened. When I lived there, I don't think a day went past when there wasn't a break-in in my apt. complex...and those were the good days.

Posted by: Kim at June 16, 2013 10:13 AM (ICqvM)

72 Hiding bodies can be a bitch in the concrete jungle.
Posted by: weft cut-loop
-----------------------

Did someone mention 'concrete'?

Posted by: Jimmy Hoffa's Ghost at June 16, 2013 10:14 AM (aDwsi)

73 Google looks to deploy balloons

Keeping thousands of balloons in the air and on station has fail written all over it. Good Google.

Posted by: FUBAR at June 16, 2013 10:15 AM (Cs2tJ)

74 They really should do a sequel article: "Fleeing New Yorkers Turned Back At City Limits" In response to our earlier story about the citizens of New York City abandoning their city, a group of citizens from the rest of the country quickly mobilized to contain the evacuation and keep the New Yorkers in place. "Those dumbasses elected Bloomberg, now they can live with him." a member of a hastily improvised militia told our reporter. Others expressed sympathy for the trapped city dwellers: "It's nothing personal, you understand. But we can't let what happened in New York City spread any further than it already has." said Susie Crabapple, who travelled from her home in Peoria, Illinois to take part. Other respondents were less charitable. "Let. It. Burn. Let it all burn!" Around the country, citizen militias are drawing up plans to contain Detroit, Chicago, Los Angeles, San Francisco, Philadelphia and many others, if necessary. When President Obama was contacted for his opinion on the matter, his answer was "Wait a minute. What happened? Sorry, I was out late at a fundraiser last night and didn't have to chance to watch the news this morning."

Posted by: Paul at June 16, 2013 10:15 AM (Vf6xf)

75 Gun thread????

Posted by: Billy Bob, pseudo intellectal at June 16, 2013 10:16 AM (wR+pz)

76 Meadowlands baby. The high concentrations of salt dispose of "organic" material faster.

Posted by: thunderb at June 16, 2013 10:16 AM (vq/dA)

77 The article itself is hilarious. Don't click on the rest if the articles, which are more of the left-wing hackers we've come to expect of The Onion. One of them is about global warming making the planet uninhabitable. As Ron Futrell would say, time to update your material!

Posted by: Boone at June 16, 2013 10:16 AM (RZkpX)

78 In the summer, I take my boys to the park or the YMCA just about every day. We go to dirt track car racing, go swimming, have fun at amusement parks, run around Old Man's Cave down in Hocking Hills, visit our friend's lake house and go boating, participate in Little League, take Jiu Jitsu classes, visit farm markets, run around in the woods, ride bikes, play sports together, etc..

What the hell do you do with kids in NYC? Where do you go if you just want to toss a baseball around? I think it'd be awful.

Posted by: Warden at June 16, 2013 10:16 AM (0DlnM)

After I visit friends in NYC, my hair feels full of grime and my skin seems lightly covered in inty grains of taxicab exhaust.

Posted by: Quint&Jessel, Sea of Azof, Bly, UK at June 16, 2013 10:17 AM (7v5Ct)

80 LA moving to NYC? I thought it would be Miami, reclaiming what they left.

Posted by: Billy Bob, pseudo intellectal at June 16, 2013 10:17 AM (wR+pz)

81 Paul-- MOST excellent. Would that it were true.

Posted by: Jimmy Hoffa's Ghost at June 16, 2013 10:17 AM (aDwsi)

82 I never thought much of NYC, until I took a job in Philly. Use to ride the Indian up there a few times a year. About all I could afford, It's a trip to say the least, but I can't see living there, unless I was rolling in cash. Hogs and Heifers is a colorful drinking establishment as well as West End Grill. I did the low life kind of places. There are plenty. Would like to hit the high end establishments, but with how much I spent in the low life joints and such. I'm going to have to hit one of the Big Lotteries to do it. It would be a great place to hide out, real easy to get lost in the sea of humanity there.

Posted by: Paladin at June 16, 2013 10:17 AM (5kFGJ)

83 FUBAR, just ponder the PRC reaction to balloons being carried by the winds over their country offering un-censored access.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at June 16, 2013 10:17 AM (HReLM)

84 What the hell do you do with kids in NYC? Where do you go if you just want to toss a baseball around? I think it'd be awful.

Posted by: Warden

Power On > LoadLoadLoad > Press Play

Posted by: weft cut-loop [/i] [/b] at June 16, 2013 10:18 AM (H4Rpo)

85 I can't imagine not being able to catch fireflies with my kids in the summer. Or being able to find a spot to set off illegal fireworks.

Posted by: Warden at June 16, 2013 10:18 AM (0DlnM)

Posted by: Paul at June 16, 2013 02:15 PM (Vf6xf)

Thread winner.

Posted by: Infidel at June 16, 2013 10:20 AM (gqEUi)

87 Yep, Paul's the thread winner.

Posted by: rickl at June 16, 2013 10:21 AM (sdi6R)

88 I grew up in the suburbs of NYC and lived there for 20 years. I joke around that despite living 10 miles from the city, there are people in Japan who have seen more of NYC than I have.

My uncle lives in Greenwich Village. He pays God knows how much for this dingy, low-ceilinged apartment that smells like bad cabbage. It doesn't even have a kitchen. Its windows look out onto other windows. There's no sun, no fresh air, nothing. Meanwhile, he and his wife and daughter walk around like their shit doesn't stink. They came out to our house - once - and acted like they were walking through a seedy part of Calcutta. I wanted terribly to inform them that their shit does, in fact, stink, but that they just can't smell it because their apartment smells so fucking bad!

I've lived here in NC for 6 years now, and I can't imagine ever going back. This place is more home to me than NY ever was.

Posted by: WolfinNC at June 16, 2013 10:21 AM (HVOxM)

89 Our city is a great place to live. I have so many friends here that I wouldn't live anywhere else. And we stick together as New Yorkers. You other people just can't understand New York City. Only someone who lives here can really understand 9/11. You people here talk about it as if it happened to you or something really stupid like that. All my friends say people like you and the guy who wrote that stupid article not only don't but can't understand what it's like to be a New Yorker and there right.

Posted by: Cat Piss at June 16, 2013 10:22 AM (tOkJB)

90 72 Hiding bodies can be a bitch in the concrete jungle. Posted by: weft cut-loop Wanna bet?

Posted by: Etan Patz at June 16, 2013 10:22 AM (V1ZIU)

"I can't imagine not being able to catch fireflies with my kids in the summer."

Man, that is spot on. I can remember the first time my kids saw 'lightning bugs'. For that matter the first time the grumpy granma saw them at Kings Island. Heh!

Posted by: CrotchetyOldJarhead at June 16, 2013 10:23 AM (4+PCd)

92 @72

Dude, that's what the Meadowlands are there for. You don't think grass and cattails smell that bad on their own, do you?

Posted by: WolfinNC at June 16, 2013 10:24 AM (HVOxM)

93 where pissy cat? this thread is right up it's alley!!!

Posted by: phoenixgirl@phxazgrl at June 16, 2013 10:26 AM (8JJ6O)

94 Once upon a time I used to fly into Teterboro for business in Morristown. On the weekends our little crew would head east across the river into The City. I have to admit that for the most part I loved it, but sure as hell would not want to live there.

Posted by: The Third Horseman Of The Apocalypse at June 16, 2013 10:26 AM (uLzrM)

OT.

OK, now I'm pissed. I just looked at a reading list on environmental science that little Guevara got for the summer.

Here are some titles by various well-known scientists:

Crimes Against Nature, by Robert F. Kennedy Jr. (No, this is not a biography of Barney Frank.)

"Earth in the Balance," by Al Gore (he of the "core of the earth is at millions of degrees" fame)

"Silent Spring," by Rachel Carson (The now long-discredited eco-nut answer to Protocols of the Elders of Zion)

"The Population Bomb," by Paul Ehlrich (another risible blast from the past, also discredited)

These are the ones I have read, and which are total bullshit. Here are some others on the list that I haven't read, but just from the titles look whiffy...

"Eco Warriors: Understanding the Radical Environmental Movement," by David Orr

"Let the Mountains Talk, Let the Rivers Run: A Call to Save the Earth," by Brower (one name)

"Our Stolen Future: Are We Threatening Our Fertility, Intellligence [??], and Survival? A Scientific [?] Detective Story," by Theo Colborn and Dianne Dumanoski

"Small is Beautiful: Economics as if People Mattered," by E. F. Schumacher

"The World Without Us," by Alan Weisman (how do eco-nuts simultaneously want the extinction and survival of mankind? I've never figured this out.)

As a real, no shit physical scientist, this kind of crap being trotted out as "science" enrages me.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at June 16, 2013 10:27 AM (Z2Bkq)

96 Posted by: Paul at June 16, 2013 02:15 PM (Vf6xf)

Added to the post!

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at June 16, 2013 10:27 AM (WW8xK)

97 I can only hope that the Californicators and NewYarkers will have to 'evolve' for a few years before they find in palatable to live here, ie not in a city, not even a small one. If you haven't tried it you don't know what you are missing, the freedom of not being ass raped by a corrupt city government full of little Eichmanns.

Posted by: SpongeBob ReaverSaget at June 16, 2013 10:28 AM (kxSZr)

98 Is Putin warning us of a zombie apocalypse?

Putin warns West not to arm organ-eating Syrian rebels

http://tinyurl.com/ky7orzv

Posted by: kbdabear at June 16, 2013 10:30 AM (/9IC1)

99 I don't care what you all think but the head moron lives there. I'm going in and bringing Ace out -- hopefully, alive...

Posted by: waldo at June 16, 2013 10:31 AM (RZwdH)

100 Jay it seems Orr is a special concerned snowflake.
http://tinyurl.com/m6b2797

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at June 16, 2013 10:32 AM (HReLM)

101 Was taken for a 2 1/2 day visit there when a teen-ager. I loved it. Would I want to live there? Aw hells naw.

Posted by: eleven at June 16, 2013 10:32 AM (KXm42)

102 I don't care what you all think but the head moron lives there. I'm going in and bringing Ace out -- hopefully, alive... Do it Eric Cartman style.

Posted by: eleven at June 16, 2013 10:33 AM (KXm42)

103 We are about a three hour drive to NYC. We will go up when people from parts distant come to visit us, and want to see it. We like it, but we wouldn't ever live there. Too crowded, noisy, expensive. Who the heck wants to have to take a subway to a playground?

Posted by: Gingy at June 16, 2013 10:33 AM (aH+zP)

104 Texas needs to enforce the borders. To the north. Keep east coasters out.

Posted by: thunderb at June 16, 2013 10:33 AM (vq/dA)

105 Who the heck wants to have to take a subway to a playground? But it's so.....real.

Posted by: eleven at June 16, 2013 10:35 AM (KXm42)

106

Texas needs to enforce the borders. To the north. Keep east coasters out.

I think the real risk comes fro the west...Im starting to see more and more left coast plates on the ride to work.

Posted by: CrotchetyOldJarhead at June 16, 2013 10:37 AM (Lo5Rt)

107 OT Jessica Nigri really swashes some buckle with this costume.
http://tinyurl.com/mu7sqb4

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at June 16, 2013 10:38 AM (HReLM)

108

I flew into Newark once. That's as close as I ever got or ever intend to get.

It was interesting to look out the window on approach, tho'.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit at June 16, 2013 10:39 AM (0HooB)

109 New York is considered high class by our standards.

Posted by: Detroit at June 16, 2013 10:40 AM (VSIZA)

110 Most 'interesting' view on approach has to be Mexico City. Ay caramba!

Posted by: SpongeBob ReaverSaget at June 16, 2013 10:42 AM (kxSZr)

111 I'm seeing plates from everywhere. Even Alaska and Hawaii. Yes Hawaii. No I don't know how that works. I keep telling myself they're fleeing Republicans yeah that's the ticket.

Posted by: eleven at June 16, 2013 10:46 AM (KXm42)

112

Heh, nice update, CBD.

"Beyond this place thar be dragoons."

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit at June 16, 2013 10:48 AM (0HooB)

113

Jay it seems Orr is a special concerned snowflake.

----

Anna, it does indeed. The whole goddamned reading list is like that. They did leave off "Capital" and "The Communist Manifesto," but that's probably just by oversight.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at June 16, 2013 10:49 AM (Z2Bkq)

114 Gun thread up.

Posted by: Tobacco Road at June 16, 2013 10:50 AM (4Mv1T)

115 Gun thread up

Posted by: Vic at June 16, 2013 10:50 AM (lZvxr)

116 As a Floridian I can assure you the containment plan has failed utterly.

Posted by: Beagle at June 16, 2013 10:51 AM (sOtz/)

117 The real problem with New York is the people who move there. Seriously: native-born New Yorkers are pretty decent people, although most of them will steal anything not bolted to bedrock. But they're not assholes about it. It's the people who move there. They want to live in New York. They want to be in the Big Time. And having moved there, they all have to act like they think New Yorkers should act -- kind of a cross between Seinfeld and Sex & The City. They get into this psychotic feedback loop, where in order to justify an insane cost of living and miserable housing, they have to keep exaggerating how wonderful NYC is, and how awful the rest of the country is. Thing is, it's utterly false. It's a sham. They're pretending and deep down they know it -- it's just that they're afraid someone will be able to tell they're not "real" New Yorkers. They're just some goofball from Des Moines. So they heap contempt on Des Moines and talk up the awesomeness of New York more and more. There may have been a time when NYC was the Big Time. Arguably between 1920 and 1970 that was true. But now? Name one item which can be purchased in New York that isn't available (cheaper!) anywhere in the USA via Amazon or other online merchant. That includes child prostitutes. And don't get me started on the fucking bagels.

Posted by: Trimegistus at June 16, 2013 10:52 AM (zBTgX)

118 Posted by: Jay Guevara at June 16, 2013 02:27 PM (Z2Bkq) I s that reading list required? And, do you actually have to pay money for the privilege? I don't think I would read "Browner", sounds shitty...Let the mountains talk. What does that even mean?

Posted by: chewydog at June 16, 2013 10:52 AM (BUY7X)

119 This is precisely the problem Texas has to be aware of as Gov Perry continues to invite these morons to the Lone Star State. They still vote the way the vote. That is how Colorado shifted. The Californians cashed out there homes and moved to CO and kept voting for the stuff that ran them out of Californian.

Posted by: Timbo at June 16, 2013 10:54 AM (fxMhR)

120 Most 'interesting' view on approach has to be Mexico City. Ay caramba!

Posted by: SpongeBob ReaverSaget at June 16, 2013 02:42 PM (kxSZr)

Never flown into Johannesburg I assume?

Posted by: FUBAR at June 16, 2013 10:56 AM (Cs2tJ)

121

I s that reading list required? And, do you actually have to pay money for the privilege?
I don't think I would read "Browner", sounds shitty...Let the mountains talk. What does that even mean?

------------

No idea what talking mountains may mean in grownup speak.

As for the reading list being required, the answer is yes and no. They don't have to read them all, but some subset of them, and report on them.

They are also told that if there's a relevant book not on the list, check with the instructor first to make sure that it's "acceptable." I shudder to think what that means.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at June 16, 2013 10:58 AM (Z2Bkq)

122 Okay, what the hell. I hate bagels. I have hated them my entire life, ever since I first tried one. They're tough, gummy, overpriced, and insipid. I grew up in a town with marvelous French bread, Italian bread, great pastry, croissants, wonderful biscuits -- and I kept hearing from visiting Yankees about you couldn't get a decent bagel. So I tried a bagel. It sucked. They told me, "well, it's not a real New York bagel." I tried bagels in Chicago, North Carolina, upstate New York, and always "it's not a real New York bagel." I finally got a bagel in New York City. In Brooklyn, in fact, the fucking Holy City of the bagel cult. It sucked. It was just like every other motherfucking bagel I've ever had: tough, gummy, overpriced, and insipid. Bagels are the Stockholm Syndrome of baked goods. Jews trapped in poverty and racial hatred on the Lower East Side had to eat bagels to survive, and became attached to them much like abused prisoners coming to love their torturers. I did once have a good bagel. It was in Montreal. Those French bakers know their shit.

Posted by: Trimegistus at June 16, 2013 10:59 AM (zBTgX)

123 This article is why we fucking left NYC. Now if we could just get out of the fucking state.

Trimegistus is so right. NYers are assholes, but its the shitstains from West Bumblefuck who think being a hipster is being a NYer are a total breed apart. I was born in Brooklyn, raised in the Bronx, with summers at Breezy Point. Everyone who was born in NYC knows that the goal is to get the hell out. And these asshats come in and think they can tell me about how great this city is? That's why NYC banned guns. We'd be shooting these fuckers in the streets.

Posted by: Iblis at June 16, 2013 11:01 AM (Yd7xL)

124 Visited for a long weekend years ago. It was enough. I simply don't like people that much, and there was a lot not to like.

Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at June 16, 2013 11:01 AM (eHIJJ)

125

Trimegistus is so right. NYers are assholes, but its the shitstains from West Bumblefuck who think being a hipster is being a NYer are a total breed apart.

---

Same thing happened in the Bay Area 40 years ago. Suddenly every asshole in Buttfuck North Dakota had to come to the Haight Ashbury, failing to recognize that the "Summer of Love" was by then long gone, and the "Decade of Assholes" had begun. The original denizens were bad enough, but people who came because Scott McKenzie's shitty song were even worse.

Fortunately, many of them OD'ed. Darwin was right.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at June 16, 2013 11:21 AM (Z2Bkq)

126 Vic: "I guess that is on par with SF which smells like piss."

Why, yes. Yes it does. If I recall, Market St. is particularly pungent in the early morning. Worse than NO's French Quarter at night.

Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at June 16, 2013 11:21 AM (eHIJJ)

127 DH and I are seriously considering selling our business and relocating to Texas. I just got home from a work meeting in Dallas and also spent some time in Southlake. Seems daunting to think about leaving (selling home and business- me trying to get a transfer rtc) but we feel California has left us and we want to be amongst like-minded people Anyone from Texas have any suggestions or recommendations about cities?

Posted by: Sunny at June 16, 2013 11:22 AM (Xnxty)

128 Downtown L.A. smells like piss too, like SF. Must be a CA thing.

The poor hipsters living downtown also spend a lot of energy convincing themselves that it's all part of the urban charm and they're soooo coooool. Wait till the baby is old enough to want to go outside. They'll move.

Posted by: PJ at June 16, 2013 11:39 AM (ZWaLo)

129 Why, yes. Yes it does. If I recall, Market St. is particularly pungent in the early morning. Worse than NO's French Quarter at night.

Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at June 16, 2013 03:21 PM (eHIJJ)

I was thinking more of the Haight-Ashbury district. I went by there one time to see what all the fuss was about when I lived in Castro Valley.

The bums used the sidewalks and gutters as urinals and the whole area smelled like piss.

Posted by: Vic at June 16, 2013 11:44 AM (lZvxr)

130 Vic: "I was thinking more of the Haight-Ashbury district."

I've not visited there and have no plans to, but that doesn't surprise me. But Market St. did. It's just the main street thoroughfare through downtown - fat, wide, and well traveled. And yet, before noon, it smelled like urine.

Maybe there was a parade the day before.

Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at June 16, 2013 12:14 PM (eHIJJ)

131 Maybe there was a parade the day before.

Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at June 16, 2013 04:14 PM (eHIJJ)

I walked down Market Street with wifey around 1985 and didn't notice any odor then. I did not take her by Haight-Ashbury.

Posted by: Vic at June 16, 2013 12:23 PM (lZvxr)

132 Cities suck, no matter what state you're in. Stay out in the desert and farm the dirt! Yee-hah! The cities smell like piss. Nothing like the fresh smell of cow and pig shit, you city slicker morons! Yesseiree Bob!

Posted by: Roscoe P Coltrane at June 16, 2013 12:31 PM (aG9Vk)

133 Speaking of the smell of a city, don't even get me started on New Orleans. My God, the entire French Quarter reeks of stale beer, vomit and piss, mixed with mold and mildew. And the humidity is absolutely stifling. It's only bearable in January and February.

Posted by: SicSemperTyurannus at June 16, 2013 12:41 PM (EAESv)

134 Time for me to head out.

Posted by: Vic at June 16, 2013 01:04 PM (lZvxr)

135 Hurry back, Vic. Content has ceased flowing in your absence.

Posted by: [/i][/b][/s]akula_51 at June 16, 2013 01:29 PM (Vgn84)

136 Forget NYC, I'm not sure I could live anywhere in the Northeast at this point of my life, despite being from NE stock, being educated there, and living there. It feels too small, parochial, worn. Pretty much sold on the West and Southwest at this stage of my life.

Posted by: Y-not at June 16, 2013 02:24 PM (5H6zj)

137 My one experience in NY wasn't even NYC. It was an airport hotel I stayed in because I had a layover on the way from S.F. to Bermuda. It was a work trip so don't get on me for it. Anywho, I went to the hotel restaurant and ordered dinner. The waiter acted like he was doing me a favor by taking my order. When he returned with my food, he slid the plate across the table to me. He got a nickle tip in the bottom of my water glass.

Posted by: Hank at June 16, 2013 02:56 PM (adMMf)

138 I'm a native New Yorker and my cousin (another native) and I had the same conversation last week. Before the influx of Low Information Voters, hipster douchebags, trustafarians, Eurotrash and seekers of Free Stuff, NY was a reasonable place to live. I grew up in a poor neighborhood but it wasn't a slum until the Hordes arrived. Now the newbies are driving up the cost of everything and all the oldtime retailers - the Polish butchers and the Italian bakeries, the delis and the shoemakers - the only ones left are the ones who were smart enough to buy their buildings. I think they should have a 30 percent nonresident tax on condo, coop and building purchases.

Posted by: vivi at June 16, 2013 03:40 PM (XKflD)

139 We moved to Brooklyn, near Prospect Park. No subway to the playground: its a 10 minute walk to where I can toss a baseball, football with my kids any time. Every AM I get up and run with my dog, off leash, in the park (its allowed before 9 am). I can often go and not see more than 1-2 people the whole time in the park (at 6 am). When I need something more, I head back Upstate (to where I'm from). Every summer we rent a cabin in the Adirondacks for about 2 weeks. I also send our kids to Camp Chingachgook (where I went) for 2 weeks, so they get another dose of actual land, water, dirt, bugs, etc. You can have some quality of life in New York City: its called live in Brooklyn, own a car, and get out of Dodge when you can. At some point we plan to get a weekend place in the Catskills, which is really a pretty huge and beautiful area. I own a gun, and belong to range in Manhattan. And, you guessed it, go Upstate to purchase ammo and to get to a real rifle range with more distance. But yeah, and when I ride the subways sometimes and smell the piss and am surrounded by the dregs of the entire world, it does suck, and makes me want to live anywhere but here. But then I get home (to my lovely wife, amazing kids, in a decent house in a nice neighborhood, with a few excellent neighbors, and make a chilling vodka martini, and its OK until tomorrow.) The rampant commie ism around here really gets under my skin --though I have my circle of conservative friends. This is my compromise.

Posted by: NYC Parent at June 16, 2013 03:58 PM (XjvAU)

140 Please tell me where you can find conservative friends in NYC. I live in Manhattan and I have walked out of dinner parties, hung up on phones, and ended friendships because the assholery becomes more than I can stand.

Posted by: vivi at June 16, 2013 04:19 PM (XKflD)

141 140 Please tell me where you can find conservative friends in NYC. I live in Manhattan and I have walked out of dinner parties, hung up on phones, and ended friendships because the assholery becomes more than I can stand.

Posted by: vivi at June 16, 2013 08:19 PM (XKflD)

They're like fucking cockroaches with worse manners. Just when you think you've found a nice place and group of people, someone spouts off a liberalism and flushes it all down the drain. In NYC my social circle is family, a couple of high school buddies, and a guy from work. Of course I work crazy hours and weekends so my social life is stunted anyway.

Posted by: Iblis at June 16, 2013 06:07 PM (Yd7xL)

142 "I grew up here and I turned into a giant asshole. Why would I want that for my son?" Heh.

Posted by: DtShangers at June 16, 2013 06:27 PM (WjTVl)

143 I laugh when I see tourists (I presume) wearing tee shirts that read, "Welcome to NYC, Duck MotherF@kr". Yeah, such the bunch of badasses that live here, course all them badasses retained their guns illegally through their gang brethren, unregistered which means no confiscation under martial law. not sure who I like better, them, or the pusses that insist gun possession be illegal in NYC...lest you're one of them gang members... Which leads me to the point this is why I rarely visit, I am not allowed to protect myself from the "bad guys", course the liberals paint me a bad guy for thinking otherwise.

Posted by: SecretlyConservative at June 16, 2013 06:45 PM (f892J)

144 133 Speaking of the smell of a city, don't even get me started on New Orleans. My God, the entire French Quarter reeks of stale beer, vomit and piss, mixed with mold and mildew. And the humidity is absolutely stifling. It's only bearable in January and February.
*
*
Da man speaks da truth. Ah'm glad to be dead and outta dat place, man.

Posted by: Zombie Louis Armstrong at June 17, 2013 04:32 AM (BDU/a)

145 Snake Plissken would like to have a word with this militias...

Posted by: I R A Darth Aggie ® at June 17, 2013 05:50 AM (1hM1d)

146 Vic - you sound like a former nuke. Lived just outside Saratoga Springs while I was training there - we made a competitive sport out of chasing Skidmore girls ("Skiddie kitties").

Posted by: 1bulwetweft at June 17, 2013 07:55 AM (d2CZd)

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