Ace of Spades HQ

May 28, 2013

"It's Not About the Nail"
— Ace

Stop trying to fix things.

Posted by: Ace at 02:05 PM | Comments (82)
Post contains 15 words, total size 1 kb.

1 Ah. Yes. Well. Yes.

Posted by: filbert the Whig at May 28, 2013 02:07 PM (7vimm)

2 Give a two-year-old a hammer and everything starts to look like a nail.

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at May 28, 2013 02:07 PM (pxDth)

3 Good, now get me a sammich.

Posted by: Sean Bannion[/i][/u][/s][/b] at May 28, 2013 02:08 PM (sbV1u)

4 Okay, that was funny, and eerily true to life.

Posted by: pep at May 28, 2013 02:09 PM (6TB1Z)

5 White men can't jump had the definitive statement on this.

Posted by: Elizabethe on the phone at May 28, 2013 02:09 PM (B1Yvr)

6 Where is my sammich?

Posted by: Mr. Pink at May 28, 2013 02:10 PM (o5R8U)

7 And the thought balloon above the man's head is still saying "if I just indulge the crap a biiiiiiit more, I might get laid tonight".

Posted by: pep at May 28, 2013 02:10 PM (6TB1Z)

8 Hmmm, that would ideal for hanging a picture of say, Christina Hendricks or Kate Upton on.

Posted by: Country Singer at May 28, 2013 02:10 PM (U22Yw)

9 For teh life of me, I don't understand this complaint. Trying to "fix" things means we're listening. Thank God my wife is not like this at all.

Posted by: imp at May 28, 2013 02:11 PM (UaxA0)

10 And the thought balloon above the man's head is still saying "if I just indulge the crap a biiiiiiit more, I might get laid tonight".
Posted by: pep at May 28, 2013 06:10 PM (6TB1Z)

Well, sure.

I mean, not if you're BC, but anyone else, sure.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD, you taunty bitch. at May 28, 2013 02:11 PM (Gk3SS)

11 Give a two-year-old a hammer and everything starts to look like a nail. Posted by: Seamus Muldoon Give a six year old boy a hammer and soon everything, including the hammer, is broken.

Posted by: imp at May 28, 2013 02:12 PM (UaxA0)

12 8 Hmmm, that would ideal for hanging a picture of say, Christina Hendricks or Kate Upton on. Posted by: Country Singer at May 28, 2013 06:10 PM (U22Yw) Paulina Gretsky

Posted by: Mr. Pink at May 28, 2013 02:12 PM (o5R8U)

13 So much truth.

Posted by: Insomniac at May 28, 2013 02:12 PM (NEIxp)

14 Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD, you taunty bitch. at May 28, 2013 06:11 PM (Gk3SS) Oh. Snap. Lol.

Posted by: Elizabethe on the phone at May 28, 2013 02:12 PM (B1Yvr)

15 Well, no Flash. :-(

Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at May 28, 2013 02:13 PM (cMjv7)

16 Pretty damn funny...and pretty damn accurate. Been there done that..... :-/

Posted by: CrotchetyOldJarhead at May 28, 2013 02:13 PM (uAcgi)

17 I mean, not if you're BC, but anyone else, sure. Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD, you taunty bitch. at May 28, 2013 06:11 PM (Gk3SS)

He will be thrilled with your mere acknowledgement of his existence.

Posted by: Sean Bannion[/i][/u][/s][/b] at May 28, 2013 02:13 PM (sbV1u)

@imp-

Actually, trying to fix things is guys' way of avoiding having to listen any longer.

As in, "You stay right here on the couch, honey. I'll be out in the garage fixing something."

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at May 28, 2013 02:13 PM (pxDth)

19 With a couple of nipple rings and a string of lights she'd decorate up nice for Christmas.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at May 28, 2013 02:13 PM (8ZskC)

20 Why do I find this thread far, FAR more interesting than the immigration one?

Posted by: filbert the Whig at May 28, 2013 02:14 PM (7vimm)

21 Uncle Fester did it first, yo.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at May 28, 2013 02:14 PM (+98Gb)

22 kinda funny. sort of reminds me of my semi other half.

of course, it couldn't be a corkscrew or a bottle opener or something painful and useful.

Posted by: mallfly, uncertified journalist at May 28, 2013 02:14 PM (bJm7W)

23 Why do I find this thread far, FAR more interesting than the immigration one? Posted by: filbert the Whig at May 28, 2013 06:14 PM (7vimm)

I think it was the mention of nipple rings.

Posted by: Sean Bannion[/i][/u][/s][/b] at May 28, 2013 02:14 PM (sbV1u)

24 We talk about your work how your boss is a jerk We talk about your church and your head when it hurts We talk about the troubles you've been having with your brother About your daddy and your mother and your crazy ex-lover We talk about your friends and the places that you've been We talk about your skin and the dimples on your chin The polish on your toes and the run in your hose And God knows we're gonna talk about your clothes We talk about your dreams and we talk about your schemes Your high school team and your moisturizer creme We talk about your nanna up in Muncie, Indiana We talk about your grandma down in Alabama We talk about your guys of every shape and size The ones that you despise and the ones you idolize We talk about your heart, about your brains and your smarts And your medical charts and when you start If only I did have a hammer.

Posted by: Jack at May 28, 2013 02:14 PM (Zv1QB)

25 Republicans = man Woman = LoFos Nail = Obama

Posted by: Somewhat Sorry To Offend You at May 28, 2013 02:14 PM (bAR0K)

26 > 8 Hmmm, that would ideal for hanging a picture of say, Christina Hendricks or Kate Upton on. Posted by: Country Singer I was gonna say "donut" but your idea is better.

Posted by: Comrade Arthur at May 28, 2013 02:15 PM (5YUSx)

Posted by: mallfly at May 28, 2013 02:15 PM (bJm7W)

28 Hey husbands:

Is there anything more delicious than your wife getting a speeding ticket?

You know like, "did you take the trash out?" "Well, I'm not speeding to get to it, I said I'd do it."

Posted by: RoyalOil at May 28, 2013 02:16 PM (VjL9S)

29 Thanks for butchering one of my favorite Beatles songs, Ace.

Posted by: L, elle at May 28, 2013 02:17 PM (0PiQ4)

30 Dude nailed it.

Posted by: Dang at May 28, 2013 02:17 PM (Hx2XA)

31 This video is a classic example of why we Engineers have such a great rep with women

Posted by: Wacko-Bird Republican at May 28, 2013 02:17 PM (vaSyB)

32 FINALLY getting Steam working on my Linux. Only required moving up to Puppy 5.6 and THEN doing all the workarounds.

Posted by: zsasz at May 28, 2013 02:17 PM (MMC8r)

33 Brevity. Learn it, live it.

Braaaaappppppp. *scratches backside*

Translation: I'm feeling particularly fine tonight, and I'd greatly appreciate your acknowledgement of same, dear.

Posted by: Average man at May 28, 2013 02:18 PM (6TB1Z)

34 "30 Thanks for butchering one of my favorite Beatles songs, Ace. Posted by: L, elle at May 28, 2013 06:17 PM (0PiQ4) " Hey, at least you got to listen to it. :-P (Maybe I should reinstall Flash, but then I'd probably have to restart my browser. Life is tragic.)

Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at May 28, 2013 02:19 PM (cMjv7)

35 Shit, now my sounds out.

But I'd NAIL her.

IYKWIMAITYD.

Posted by: zsasz at May 28, 2013 02:19 PM (MMC8r)

36 No seriously, it's about the nail(ing).

Posted by: Duh! at May 28, 2013 02:20 PM (Zs83Q)

37 Oh there was a video too? I didnt watch it, just like i don't listen to anything a woman says when she starts "bitching" about something. What they are really doing, is not talking, its not trying to get your advice on something, its not soliciting any response from you at all. They are talking out the feelings in their head and you are cheaper than a fucking psychiatrist. If you let them go on for long enough, that simple every day mundane problem at work turns into OMFG I can't believe someone would do that thats illegal immoral they should die! That's when you have to man up and tell them they are overreacting, and simply disagree with them for the fuck of it. Why? Cause your the man thats why. If you wanted a long drawn out over emotional explanation for something simply you would have been born with a vagina and bleed out of it for 12 weeks a year.

Posted by: Mr. Pink at May 28, 2013 02:20 PM (o5R8U)

So was anyone else conflicted on whether the guy should pull the nail out or finish driving it in?

...or is it just me?

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at May 28, 2013 02:20 PM (pxDth)

39 Poor schlub. The reason why she has that nail in her head is because all of her friends have nails in their heads.

Posted by: mrp at May 28, 2013 02:20 PM (HjPtV)

40 If only she'd said- "Well, not everyone is you!" or some variation on that. It'd would've been perfect.

Posted by: Somewhat Sorry To Offend You at May 28, 2013 02:20 PM (bAR0K)

Last night on the ONT, there was some discussion about long walks and dancing and dinner and bling.

NOW I understand...... :-P

Posted by: CrotchetyOldJarhead at May 28, 2013 02:20 PM (uAcgi)

42 "33 FINALLY getting Steam working on my Linux. Only required moving up to Puppy 5.6 and THEN doing all the workarounds. Posted by: zsasz at May 28, 2013 06:17 PM (MMC8r) " Puppy? That's hilarious. You should use a more "mainstream" and less minimalistic distro.

Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at May 28, 2013 02:21 PM (cMjv7)

43 And words of wisdom for...

Men: "How does it make you feel?"

Women: "What are you going to do about it?"

Posted by: Duh! at May 28, 2013 02:21 PM (Zs83Q)

44 Ok i watched 10 fucking seconds before this whiny bitch was talking about pressure. You want pressure join the fucking army.

Posted by: Mr. Pink at May 28, 2013 02:22 PM (o5R8U)

45 I get the same reaction when I tell chicks the problem is probably their vagina.

Posted by: Flatbush Joe at May 28, 2013 02:22 PM (ZPrif)

46 I'm watching some stupid HBO documentary called There is Something Wrong With Aunt Diane. It's about this woman who drove the wrong way on a freeway with a bunch of kids in her van and 8 people died. She had a BAC of .19 and a bunch of Thc in he system. The doc is all her family and friends trying to claim she was a good person and not a lush. They all ignore the elephant in the room that she was drunk as a skunk. I can only think that maybe she was selfmedicating because she had a psych illness. But, seriously, you guys, I want to slap her family.

Posted by: M. Rubio at May 28, 2013 02:23 PM (dHIHO)

>> I don't understand this complaint

That's cause you're a guy. Which incidentally is our natural tendency, to try to fix problems. It's not about fixing anything, it's about validating her feelings.

When I come home at the end of the day and get "the report", and there was some drama thing at work, she don't want me to make suggestions or try to help her understand the other person's point of view, or heaven help you, be a devil's advocate. She wants you to agree that fuckin bitch in accounting is an asshole and by God you're woman is right not to like being treated that way by her.

Women. Figure them out or die confused.

Posted by: Dave in Texas at May 28, 2013 02:23 PM (WvXvd)

48 When I hear "nail" and "her" together, I have a different thought.

Posted by: dogfish at May 28, 2013 02:23 PM (nsOJa)

And yet they get mad if after they say that, you tell them to STFU then.

Some people....

Posted by: Tilikum The Killer Assault Whale at May 28, 2013 02:24 PM (uhftQ)

50 The only reason I watched the video more then 15 seconds after I saw the nail was that I thought the chick was hit-worthy. Yeah, men are shallow. We indulge crazy women who look decent more then we indulge crazy women who do not look so decent. I imagine women do just about the same thing with the air-head jock with the six-pack.

Posted by: Name Withheld Upon Request [/i] at May 28, 2013 02:24 PM (U2UQk)

51
Puppy? That's hilarious. You should use a more "mainstream" and less minimalistic distro.

This laptop's eight years old and only has half a hard drive. It boots from CD and runs my save from an SD card. Puppy's fine, and last time I tried Ubuntu it couldn't deal with my wireless adapter.

Posted by: zsasz at May 28, 2013 02:24 PM (MMC8r)

52 She's cute. Except for the nail I mean

Posted by: Nevergiveup at May 28, 2013 02:25 PM (9Bj8R)

53 When I come home at the end of the day and get "the report", and there was some drama thing at work, she don't want me to make suggestions or try to help her understand the other person's point of view, or heaven help you, be a devil's advocate. She wants you to agree that fuckinbitch in accounting is an asshole and by God you're woman is right not to like being treated that way by her. Women. Figure them out or die confused. Posted by: Dave in Texas at May 28, 2013 06:23 PM (WvXvd) No, its your duty as a man to disagree, to tell them they are overreacting if they are. The day you sit there and listen to 50 minutes of bitch without saying anything is the day your soul is officially dead and buried. You might as well go watch a fucking Barbara Streisand concert with her.

Posted by: Mr. Pink at May 28, 2013 02:25 PM (o5R8U)

54 I was promised a stapler.

Posted by: Michael Moore'd in the Boobeh at May 28, 2013 02:25 PM (rCS6C)

55 This laptop's eight years old

Make that five.

Posted by: zsasz at May 28, 2013 02:26 PM (MMC8r)

56 New thread..., in near record time

Posted by: Mike Hammer at May 28, 2013 02:26 PM (aDwsi)

57 Mercifully, the first thing wifey does when she enters the domicile is head straight for the martini shaker. All quiet on the western front. Ahhhhh.....

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at May 28, 2013 02:26 PM (+98Gb)

58 Aaaaaaand this is why I will probably die alone.

Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith[/i][/b][/s][/u] at May 28, 2013 02:26 PM (qyfb5)

You do what you want. I say Doris is a goddamned whore and I don't blame you for hatin on her ass baby. Never liked her either.

Posted by: Dave in Texas at May 28, 2013 02:27 PM (WvXvd)

60 "...tell them they are overreacting, and simply disagree with them for the fuck of it."

Posted by: Mr. Pink at May 28, 2013 06:20 PM (o5R8U)

You never get laid, do you.....?

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at May 28, 2013 02:29 PM (O6Tmi)

61 60 Aaaaaaand this is why I will probably die alone.

Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith at May 28, 2013 06:26 PM (qyfb5)

Alien physiology doesn't like iron nails?

Posted by: ConservativeMonster at May 28, 2013 02:29 PM (v3pYe)

62 Except for the nail I mean

Posted by: Nevergiveup at May 28, 2013 06:25 PM (9Bj8R)

Turn her over.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at May 28, 2013 02:30 PM (O6Tmi)

63 On the other hand ladies, your guy ain't your girlfriend and while occasionally telling him about your bad hair day is fine, treating him as your therapist and bleeding all over him every damn day is wrong and a turn off.

Posted by: typo dynamofo at May 28, 2013 02:30 PM (WVMUQ)

64 If I had a hammer I'd hammer all the day....

Posted by: Pecan Scandi at May 28, 2013 02:31 PM (BobZ/)

65 Would "I'd Hit It" be totally inappropriate here?

Posted by: filbert the Whig at May 28, 2013 02:32 PM (7vimm)

66 Alien physiology doesn't like iron nails? Posted by: ConservativeMonster at May 28, 2013 06:29 PM (v3pYe) And just like that, another secret weakness is exposed, making our secret plans to infiltrate and gradually replace the local apex predator just *that* much harder. Thanks, thanks a bunch. You're only hurting yourself. We're better neighbors, you know.

Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith[/i][/b][/s][/u] at May 28, 2013 02:32 PM (qyfb5)

67 One of two suspects shot by police following the slaying of a British soldier in London last week has been released from the hospital and taken to a police station for questioning, police said Tuesday. Good, now hang him

Posted by: Nevergiveup at May 28, 2013 02:32 PM (9Bj8R)

68 That's cause you're a guy. Which incidentally is our natural tendency, to try to fix problems. It's not about fixing anything, it's about validating her feelings. --- Yep. It's ok that men want to fix things, just as it's ok that women often just want them to listen & empathize. The trick is trying to keep the other person's nature in mind during the heat of the moment & keeping perspective when one or the other of you fail to do that on occasion. Always grade on a curve when it comes to your spouse.

Posted by: Y-not at May 28, 2013 02:37 PM (5H6zj)

69 Yikes. She looks like my youngest daughter. Scary resemblance. Including the nail.

Posted by: Margarita DeVille at May 28, 2013 02:38 PM (C8mVl)

70 And just like that, another secret weakness is exposed, making our secret plans to infiltrate and gradually replace the local apex predator just *that* much harder.
Thanks, thanks a bunch.
You're only hurting yourself. We're better neighbors, you know.

Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith at May 28, 2013 06:32 PM (qyfb5)

Huh. That is a rather dastardly plan, though I have no great love for cats.

Did you plan it because Earth wimmenz are known to stick kittens in their bras?

Posted by: ConservativeMonster at May 28, 2013 02:40 PM (oY6Yp)

>> Always grade on a curve when it comes to your spouse.

To Mrs. Dave's credit she doesn't do this often, and we've been doing it so long now it's just a joke between us.

Her: "I don't like it when Doris gets impatient with me."

Me: "Doris is a stupid bint. What's for dinner?"

We usually can get this done in 30 seconds.

Posted by: Dave in Texas at May 28, 2013 02:42 PM (WvXvd)

72 To Mrs. Dave's credit she doesn't do this often, and we've been doing it so long now it's just a joke between us. --- Sounds like you have a great marriage.

Posted by: Y-not at May 28, 2013 02:45 PM (5H6zj)

73 62 "...tell them they are overreacting, and simply disagree with them for the fuck of it." Posted by: Mr. Pink at May 28, 2013 06:20 PM (o5R8U) You never get laid, do you.....? Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at May 28, 2013 06:29 PM (O6Tmi) I'm married, so no.

Posted by: Mr. Pink at May 28, 2013 02:46 PM (o5R8U)

74 Women and their ways . . .

After living more than 50 years I finally figured out that 'meaningful conversation' to a woman means to blab on about some inane disjointed topic after topic. Just the act of moving their mouths and making words seems to be the important thing.

At least, I think I figured that out . . .

Posted by: Sphynx at May 28, 2013 03:03 PM (OZmbA)

75 No kidding. I figured this out a long time ago. Men solve problems; women discuss them.

Posted by: SFGoth at May 28, 2013 03:08 PM (dZ756)

Ah, if only women's problems *were* as simple as men often think they are, lol... This vid is from a man's perspective and sums up one difference between men's and women's perspectives: to men, problems are usually simple; to women they are more complex. So when a man comes up with a simple answer, it comes off as "pat" to women who see the complexities that are sometimes lost on men. Often, there really isn't an "answer" per se, but the woman wants to include the man in her problem to let him know what she's going through. When a man gives the "pat" answer it's annoying because it's like he thinks she couldn't think of that on her own -- it's a little condescending. Of course if the problem was as "simple" as men often think, she would've solved it already. However, we're just wired differently and it's what makes the world go 'round. Plus, women's brains are "chattier" and we like to talk through our problems more than men.

Posted by: Aslan's Girl at May 28, 2013 03:27 PM (KL49F)

77 My wife has no interest in discussing problems. Just expects me to fix them. And I'm okay with that because I fix shit.

Posted by: Tobacco Road at May 28, 2013 03:30 PM (4Mv1T)

78 With all that said, I'll add this: since we are different, I don't usully bother the men in my life with problems I want to discuss, I save that for the women in my life. I usually only talk to the men when I know they can "fix" it; course, it's easy for me, I'm not married, lol.

Posted by: Aslan's Girl at May 28, 2013 03:34 PM (KL49F)

79 When a man gives the "pat" answer it's annoying because it's like he thinks she couldn't think of that on her own --it's a little condescending. Posted by: Aslan's Girl at May 28, 2013 07:27 PM (KL49F) Given how women, in general, in the modern West, treat men, this is me not accepting the "condescending" label. Once, sure, but not since before I grew up. I've been bombarded with the "inferior half of the species" message since I was a child (thankfully not from my Mother or I'd probably be running a remote hotel with a startlingly high accident rate).

Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith[/i][/b][/s][/u] at May 28, 2013 04:00 PM (qyfb5)

Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith at May 28, 2013 08:00 PM (qyfb5)

I didn't mean men intend it as condescending, just that women take it that way.

Posted by: Aslan's Girl at May 28, 2013 05:00 PM (KL49F)

81 OK, I watched the stupid thing elsewhere & I will freely admit: "I just don't get it." The nail in the head was nicely & creepily done. But some of us are deaf ( Guns & high explosives ) & some can't see too well- age. Your clever videos are lost on us. Men & women are different? Who'd a thunk it?

Posted by: I'm lighting my torch now... at May 29, 2013 01:23 AM (ULH4o)

82 You know, if all you have is a nail, before long everything looks like a hammer.

Posted by: I R A Darth Aggie ® at May 29, 2013 07:07 AM (1hM1d)

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