1 Judges are just politically connected lawyers. 

2

Methinks the judge is a bit irked.

 

Never irk the judge.

3

What do you call a lawyer who knows the Governor?

 

"Your honor."

4 The Churchill quote at the end is a very nice touch.

5 WHY AM I IN A BANNED LIMBO STATUS?

6 WHY AM I IN A BANNED LIMBO STATUS?

7 Looks like someone needs a day job.

8 That was funny

9 Oops, I omitted the period. I hope for clemency as my sentence consisted of only three words.

10 Michelle Bachmann.

"If GOP passes Amnesty, there will never be another Republican POTUS, and we lose the House in 2014"

11 http://bit.ly/140Xpq2 Thatisall.

12 That's clever. For a 10th grader. We need a better class of philosopher-kings.

13 If you can't diagram the sentence, you can't put it in the bill! Why yes, that would lead to shorter bills and less of them. Your point?

14 10 Michelle Bachmann.

"If GOP passes Amnesty, there will never be another Republican POTUS, and we lose the House in 2014"

She finally got something correct.

15 His English teacher must be so proud.

16 What's up? Any new administration scandals the GOP has no intention of doing anything about today?

17 Limbo-banned status suspended.
 I love this blog and I love Ace.

18

What will be the end result of the self-imposed, de facto segregation across the Country?  I think I know the answer but ........

19 Word o'week: peccatogenic.

"Attributing disasters, including... bad weather and famine, to human misconduct" (sex, gambling, dancing etc)

20 Pasadena, where you at. 

21 18 What will be the end result of the self-imposed, de facto segregation across the Country? I think I know the answer but ........

Posted by: Fourth Virginia at June 13, 2013 12:31 PM (wbmaj)

You rang?

22 I liked it. Clearly he was mocking the drafters of the legislation by imitating them.

23 Pretty cool. I think it is a single sentence itself. The structure IS the message, as my English teacher used to say.

24 19 Word o'week: peccatogenic.

"Attributing disasters, including... bad weather and famine, to human misconduct" (sex, gambling, dancing etc)
------------------------------------

"climate change"

25 Oh there will be a post amnesty Republican POTUS someday, but to get there the party will become something completely different.

26 13 *fewer of them. Just sayin'.

27 Hold this in contempt: Eye Ball Licking: http://goo.gl/tHIOS Ew! Ew! Ew!

28

A witty rejoinder to be sure, but I'm not sure what statue the Judge is looking at.   I, for one, DO see commas in the full text of    (former) R.C.   2929.14(D)(3).

 

 

Except when an offender commits a violation of section 2903.01 or 2907.02 of the Revised Code and the penalty imposed for the violation is life imprisonment or commits a violation of section 2903.02 of the Revised Code, if the offender commits a violation of section 2925.03 or 2925.11 of the Revised Code and that section classifies the offender as a major drug offender , if the offender commits a felony violation of section 2925.02, 2925.04, 2925.05, 2925.36, 3719.07, 3719.08, 3719.16, 3719.161, 4729.37, or 4729.61, division (C) or (D) of section 3719.172, division (C) of section 4729.51, or division (J) of section 4729.54 of the Revised Code that includes the sale, offer to sell, or possession of a schedule I or II controlled substance, with the exception of marihuana, and the court imposing sentence upon the offender finds that the offender is guilty of a specification of the type described in section 2941.1410 of the Revised Code charging that the offender is a major drug offender, if the court imposing sentence upon an offender for a felony finds that the offender is guilty of corrupt activity with the most serious offense in the pattern of corrupt activity being a felony of the first degree, or if the offender is guilty of an attempted violation of section 2907.02 of the Revised Code and, had the offender completed the violation of section 2907.02 of the Revised Code that was attempted, the offender would have been subject to a sentence of life imprisonment or life imprisonment without parole for the violation of section 2907.02 of the Revised Code, the court shall impose upon the offender for the felony violation a mandatory prison term of the maximum prison term prescribed for a felony of the first degree that, subject to divisions (C) to (I) of section 2967.19 of the Revised Code, cannot be reduced pursuant to section 2929.20, section 2967.19, or any other provision of Chapter 2967. or 5120. of the Revised Code.

 

 

It's impossible to read legal jargon even WITH the commas, but the commas ARE there.   Am I misreading his deliberately impenetrable dissent?

29 Recording the recorded recording, the recording recorded the recording while recording the recording that recorded the recorded recording, recorded during the recording of the recording that recorded the recorded recording, recording the recording.

30 25 Hold this in contempt: Eye Ball Licking: http://goo.gl/tHIOS

Ew! Ew! Ew!

Posted by: Waldo at June 13, 2013 12:34 PM (RZwdH)

Brought to you by the nation that leads the world in WTF.

31 TL;DR Legal wall of word hurt brain.

32 It's impossible to read legal jargon even WITH the commas, but the commas ARE there. Am I misreading his deliberately impenetrable dissent? The purpose of the humanities is to use language in order to obscure the banality of their ideas. Our lawyer-lawmakers have learned well.

33 >Recording the recorded recording, the recording recorded the recording while recording the recording that recorded the recorded recording, recorded during the recording of the recording that recorded the recorded recording, recording the recording. I want that on the record

34

8 -

 

Thanks Michelle.  We know.  Tell your boss. 

35 Rubio on Fox seamed sweaty and panicked shouting how he personally was gonna get rid of Ocare. Riggght. He was so manic it made me feel like amnesty won't pass, he is catching hell and is panicking. Made me feel better.

36 Slightly OT:  Since we're talking about court decisions, given SCOTUS's ruling today regarding DNA, does this mean that A) Moore v Regents of the Univ of Cali is effectively overturned and B) that a shitload of people are due a shit ton of money, especially the Lacks family?

37 The Equal Employment Opportunity Commission filed lawsuits Tuesday against discount retailer Dollar General Corp. (DG) and a BMW manufacturing plant in South Carolina over their use of criminal background checks to screen out job applicants or fire employees.

WASHINGTON — The State Department has hired an alarming number of law-enforcement agents with criminal or checkered backgrounds because of a flawed hiring process, a stunning memo obtained by The Post reveals.
The background problems are severe enough that many of the roughly 2,000 agents in StateÂ’s Bureau of Diplomatic Security can play only limited roles in agency efforts to police bad conduct and prosecute wrongdoers.

... damned if you do, damned if you don't

38 Why yes, that would lead to shorter bills and lessfewer of them.

Posted by: Comrade Arthur at June 13, 2013 12:29 PM (5YUSx)

See me.

39 The gall:

@instapundit ANDREW MALCOLM: Obama, campaigning again, blames D.C. mess on pols campaigning too much

40

AmishDude:  Indeed they have.

 

And ah, I see that he does NOT mention commas.  He mentions colons, semicolons and parentheses, but not commas.   And in that    he is correct.   Holy crap, reading that statute was as bad as reading the pages upon pages of unending binomial nomeclature in "20,000 Leagues Under the Sea."

41 Methinks that judge's ire was sorely vexed by the case as laid out before them.

Never before has a statue been so demolished so resoundingly.

42 You fucking laugh but at my job people would reject entire cases because you forgot a fucking apostrophe.

43

40 -

 

Seriously? 

 

It's like the guy is in his underwear and socks, with his feet up.  Burping and farting.  He doesn't care anymore, he's in relax mode, and no longer feels the need to hide anything he's doing. 

44 ...a battle that occurred over the course of three days during the second Persian invasion of Greece, and is estimated by historians to have occurred in either August or September, or perhaps both, in 480 B.C., pitting an alliance of Greek city-states, led by King Leonidas of Sparta, against the Persian Empire of Xerxes... Snerk!

45 Apocryphal apostrophe. The epitome of hyperbole.

46 Despite all evidence to the contrary, I did not write that statutory provision. I also bow a knee in law to Judge Pfeifer's dissent. It would not be remiss to state that there is a sentence that I wish had ventured forth from my pen.

47 law = awe brb drinking moar

48 And the House erupted into uproar, some approving, some remonstrating; anger, elation, commotion, all the emotions that man struggling to arrange his social world could vent. Now *here* was a speech.

49 Barack Obama is a stuttering clusterf*ck of a malignant traitor.

50 That's easy for you to say ...

51 Burn it down. Scatter the stones. Salt the earth where it stood.

52 Is this judge a Moron? Because that was epic level snark.

53 Is this a female judge? Because it seems that the period will be here soon.

54 Good thing we have judges focused on the important stuff.

55 Is this a female judge? Because it seems that the period will be here soon. Oh no you di-int.

56 Top o' the mornin', judge...

57 I mean, seriously, going all Grammar Nazi on the legislature?

58 Holy crap, reading that statute was as bad as reading the pages upon pages of unending binomial nomeclature in "20,000 Leagues Under the Sea." Did that put you to sleep, too?

59 SCOTUS decision on affirmative action in college admissions is meaningless whatever they decide. The "academy" has already decided to use wealth and class distinctions to achieve the same result.

60 "If GOP passes Amnesty, there will never be another Republican POTUS... She's wrong, but by then we won't be able to tell the difference between "-D" and "-R".

61 Is that 20,000 leagues deep or 20,000 leagues underneath the sea?

62 I mean, seriously, going all Grammar Nazi on the legislature? Yeah, seriously. It's reads like snark, but it's really an important part. The law was never meant to be written by lawyers. That would rather be like putting the IRS in charge of writing tax law (oh, wait...). The law should be as clear and succinct as possible. All of those "loop-holes" people rail against would not exist if the law was written so a lay-person could understand it. But, then, the need for lawyers would be largely obviated.

63 I think this is hysterical!

64

Good thing we have judges focused on the important stuff.

Posted by: blaster at June 13, 2013 12:44 PM (W6bkf)

 

The judge's point is actually very valid.   In criticizing the    obtuse wordiness of the statute,  

a statute that purports to inform the citizenry of the potential penalty for certain enumerated criminal acts, but by cramming so many words about sentencing into one sentence, sentences itself to uselessness, especially in the case of an offender involved in a pattern of corrupt activity, regarding which R.C. 2929.14(D)(3) surprisingly is completely without specificity, in that it fails to cite a statutory section outlining what constitutes corrupt activity when it otherwise lists specific statutory sections relating to all the other offenses to which it applies, a statutory circumstance up with which we should not put.

 

 

In other words, "I'm dissenting because the statute y'all claim proves the point in fact does NOT prove the point, but no one     has     caught this before    because the statute is an impenetrable wall of words."

65 I mean, seriously, going all Grammar Nazi on the legislature? Posted by: blaster at June 13, 2013 12:45 PM (W6bkf) It's not merely Grammar Nazi. It's pointing out that such provisions are incomprehensible and, thus, should be unenforceable.

66 It's even better if you imagine the judge reading it out loud as played by John Cleese from Fawlty Towers.

67 What do you call 100 obviated lawyers?

68 68 Don't mention the War!

69 Did that put you to sleep, too?

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at June 13, 2013 12:45 PM (/PCJa)

 

OMG yes.      And I was reading it during Quiet Reading Time in my eighth grade english class,    during which my desk was DIRECTLY in front of the teacher's desk.    It was hell trying to keep my eyes open.

70

"Michelle Bachmann.

"If GOP passes Amnesty, there will never be another Republican POTUS, and we lose the House in 2014""

 

Michelle Bachmann is now history and she should  be ignored.

 

Everybody stop panicking and get a grip.  Now is the time to use the scandals to our advantage, make a bigger push at the IRS.  Every town and a local community Tea Party should send in an application to the IRS and make a lot of noise about any response but a speedy approval. 

 

IRS is the skaky stone in the whole edifice, the least sympathetic of government agencies and this should be exploited.  The most proof of their misconduct is connected to the IRS and it should be highlighted at every opportunity.  Time to go for the jugular and keep the outrage alive until November 2014.

71 Statues like the one this judge takes to task is akin to writing a long prolog.  It forces the reader to try and digest a large unappetizing congealed lump of words.

72

Your Honor, what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

73

Michelle Bachmann.

"If GOP passes Amnesty, there will never be another Republican POTUS, and we lose the House in 2014"

------

There is a couple of right-ish pundits and bloggers who are insisting the opposite, that there is this silent clamor for amnesty among Republican voters, and failure to come on board the amnesty train will doom the party in 2014. (Much like the silent clamor from GOP voters for gun control that is going to doom the Pubs in 2014.) And they get very angry if you question their logic.

74

75 -

 

That's the really cool thing about silent clamor.  Like falsified data about global warming, you don't have to prove anything to anyone, just declare the science settled, and label the dissenters as heretics. 

75 61 SCOTUS decision on affirmative action in college admissions is meaningless whatever they decide. The "academy" has already decided to use wealth and class distinctions to achieve the same result. That would actually be better. At least there's some basis for the discrimination. Otherwise, you end up with some kid who was raised by a bank vice president and sent to private schools getting a free pass through academia because of the shade of his skin. Or an Attorney General who gets the same treatment because of...well, not the shade of his skin, but the shade of the skin of some of his distant ancestors.

76 I was going to do a no spaces post and be really edgy but I then I remembered my last trip to the Barrel. I still have nightmares. Ahhh, you must have gone in after Bannion. Always gonna smell like dirty gym socks after that. Trick is to go in right after one of the 'Ettes. They usually hose it down with bleach & Febreeze and leave some scented candles and shit. Just don't touch the TOWELS, those are for guests!

77 Everybody stop panicking and get a grip. Now is the time to use the scandals to our advantage, make a bigger push at the IRS. BTW, as a former tax attorney, Bachmann herself should be focused on this. That's the real problem with the Gang of 8ers, especially Rubio, biting on this. It just gives Obama a victory at a time when he's weakening. He should have ended the negotiations with Durbin and Schumer, said he's going back to the drawing board and write a conservative-friendly border-security version when Obama's at the point that he'll take anything. Forget Rubio's ideological problems, he's just a terrible negotiator and an awful strategist.

78 OBJECTION! Your Honor, that sentence should be taken out and shot!

79 By the way, the reply from the judge is also exactly 307 words.  (And one period of course)