Ace of Spades HQ

July 13, 2013

Just Like Space Jam - [Niedermeyer's Dead Horse]
— Open Blogger

The NBA's Baron Davis claims to have been abducted by aliens.. After reading the story I have no doubt that something has been messing with his brain.

Have you ever encountered a UFO?

Open thread.

Posted by: Open Blogger at 10:22 AM | Comments (244)
Post contains 45 words, total size 1 kb.

1 Hello!

Posted by: weirdflunky at July 13, 2013 10:24 AM (tlhtD)

2 The way things are going I would welcome an alien abduction.As long as there is no anal probing.NTTAWWT

Posted by: steevy at July 13, 2013 10:24 AM (9XBK2)

3 Seen several, but UFO only means unidentified flying object. Normal aircraft can be safely ruled out and I don't have a clue what the hell I saw.

Posted by: Cato at July 13, 2013 10:24 AM (f+HwY)

4 Feels like my country has been abducted by aliens.

Posted by: weirdflunky at July 13, 2013 10:24 AM (tlhtD)

5 I see democrats being abducted.

Posted by: TexBob at July 13, 2013 10:24 AM (TtLZ1)

6 He didn't get anal probed with stainless steel rods -- FAKE STORY.

Posted by: Purp[/i][/b][/u][/s] at July 13, 2013 10:26 AM (/gHaE)

Illegal aliens? Um sorry, wrong thread. I denounce myself.

Posted by: weirdflunky at July 13, 2013 10:26 AM (tlhtD)

8 Yeah, well, once he started going on and on about Space Jam, we gave him back. You're welcome.

Posted by: The Aliens at July 13, 2013 10:27 AM (4WL8t)

9 I hear the aliens wore clown shoes and a clown nose and clown make-up but were actually gigantic spiders.

Posted by: CAC at July 13, 2013 10:28 AM (S75DT)

10 Nice the CAC appreciation thread is sort of a shout out to Lad10077...

"Roswell"

Posted by: sven10077@sven10077 at July 13, 2013 10:29 AM (LRFds)

11 It came from ...

Posted by: Uranus at July 13, 2013 10:29 AM (2hpna)

12 9 CAC,

Those are the Tholians which inspired Steven King to a life of oddity...

Lad10077 says Greys get no love anymore..

Posted by: sven10077@sven10077 at July 13, 2013 10:30 AM (LRFds)

13 Y'know what's really delicious? Paper jam, made in copying machines.

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars[/i][/b][/s] at July 13, 2013 10:30 AM (o5EA8)

14 Spotted at the beach..

Posted by: Unidentified Frying Object at July 13, 2013 10:31 AM (2hpna)

15 clown shoes... clown nose... clown make-up... gigantic spiders.

He was abducted by Obama's cabinet?

Posted by: Purp[/i][/b][/u][/s] at July 13, 2013 10:31 AM (/gHaE)

16 Unqualified Fucker, Obama. Yeah, I've seen him.

Posted by: Dang at July 13, 2013 10:31 AM (Hx2XA)

17 Aliens. Why'd it hafta be aliens?

Posted by: Indiana GnuBreed at July 13, 2013 10:31 AM (cHZB7)

Ghosts watch you fap...

But aliens brainwash their abductees into wanting anal.

Posted by: CAC at July 13, 2013 10:31 AM (S75DT)

19 After a few peyote buttons you can meet aliens too.

Posted by: Baron Davis at July 13, 2013 10:32 AM (Aif/5)

20 Venus.

Posted by: Rhymes with at July 13, 2013 10:32 AM (2hpna)

21 My brother and I saw a perfectly stationary ring hovering over our neighborhood at several thousand feet. It looked just like an inner tube, but it must've been thirty feet in diameter, judging by the height. We watched it for about five minutes, and then it disappeared into the clouds.

Posted by: Tacky Adhesive at July 13, 2013 10:32 AM (Ptv7k)

Aliens are just really really into high colonics.

Posted by: eleven at July 13, 2013 10:33 AM (fsLdt)

23 Which one was Spice Jam? The redhead?

Posted by: Joe Mama at July 13, 2013 10:33 AM (2hpna)

24 Ghosts watch you fap... But aliens brainwash their abductees into wanting anal. *** So that explains Barney Fran

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at July 13, 2013 10:33 AM (jjvz+)

25 Frank

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at July 13, 2013 10:33 AM (jjvz+)

26 Nope. Haven't seen any. If it happens where everyone is seeing them, don't discount "lying signs and wonders".

Posted by: ghost of... at July 13, 2013 10:33 AM (AoY8i)

27 FYI for all UFOphilic 'rons and 'ettes

there was no Hangar 18, it was Hangar 13....

"Fairborn"

Posted by: sven10077@sven10077 at July 13, 2013 10:34 AM (LRFds)

28 Yes. One night I had gone to see "Thunder from Down Under" and then went to the Blue Oyster for a drink. When I woke up the next afternoon in an alleyway, my anus was very sore. I guess when the aliens abducted me, they must have done some anal probes.

Posted by: Ashley Judd's Puffy Scamper, aka MrCaniac at July 13, 2013 10:34 AM (BXLPR)

29 25 NDH,

oui?

Posted by: sven10077@sven10077 at July 13, 2013 10:34 AM (LRFds)

30 You mean a space alien like this: http://youtu.be/T5YTXnnQjC4 ?

Posted by: Nighthawk at July 13, 2013 10:34 AM (0qalu)

31 Yes, around 1971, 1972. Was with a group and still no idea what we saw.

Posted by: real joe at July 13, 2013 10:35 AM (Sorwn)

32 I've seen time.

Posted by: CAC at July 13, 2013 10:36 AM (S75DT)

33 I think I've found the truth behind this belief of his. http://tinyurl.com/nc8yo66

Posted by: AmishDude at July 13, 2013 10:36 AM (xSegX)

34 32 CAC,

CAC you hear motion bud...

31 Real Joe,

if you were in Dayton Ohio you just saw me getting dropped off...

Posted by: sven10077@sven10077 at July 13, 2013 10:37 AM (LRFds)

35 Is that spaceship in the pic sucking up cows? Fucking cows can't get a break.

Posted by: Soona at July 13, 2013 10:37 AM (oSsMU)

36 No aliens but I do see dead people. Usually when Dr. Jill isn't home and I've been in the scotch but I don't know if that has anything to do with it

Posted by: Joey "Choo Choo" Biden at July 13, 2013 10:37 AM (Aif/5)

37 UFC champ GSP has said he's had an alien encounter. I'm never surprised when somebody who gets head trauma for a living has "unusual" experiences.

Posted by: Flatbush Joe at July 13, 2013 10:38 AM (ZPrif)

38 UFO Crew: What's for dinner? UFO Cook: Beef-a-roni UFO Crew: Again?

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars[/i][/b][/s] at July 13, 2013 10:38 AM (o5EA8)

39 Yes, but it's just because I'm so bad at identifying flying objects. "Bird? What's a bird?"

Posted by: Doctor Cynic at July 13, 2013 10:39 AM (3TTMv)

40 38 Krebs v Carnot,

There's a beef jerky ad waiting in there somewhere...

Posted by: sven10077@sven10077 at July 13, 2013 10:39 AM (LRFds)

41 Why I no think to blame aliens?

Posted by: Wi Tu Lo at July 13, 2013 10:39 AM (Aif/5)

The galaxy is so vast. The stars literally are like dust, as Asimov would say.

How could they find us?

Posted by: eleven at July 13, 2013 10:40 AM (fsLdt)

43 You mean a space alien like this: **** WTH was that?!

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at July 13, 2013 10:40 AM (jjvz+)

44 I don't want to see my name mentioned in this thread. You hear me?

Posted by: Helen Thomas at July 13, 2013 10:40 AM (oSsMU)

45 Hierarchy of disbelief. From more incredulous to completely ridiculous: Ghosts Aliens Loch Ness Big Foot Unicorns Democrats who actually care about minorities.

Posted by: Dr. Science at July 13, 2013 10:41 AM (hemD9)

46 If aliens were going to go all the way here, wouldn't they at least chose an NBA player who didn't suck?

Posted by: Navycopjoe at July 13, 2013 10:42 AM (0XV8C)

47 Is that spaceship in the pic sucking up cows? Fucking cows can't get a break. *** Gary Larson is clearly behind that abduction.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at July 13, 2013 10:42 AM (jjvz+)

48 45. Bullshit I care about minorities My walls aren't going to paint themselves

Posted by: Navycopjoe at July 13, 2013 10:44 AM (0XV8C)

49 Does anybody know where Dennis Rodman was when this happened? Jason Collins? Aliens, freaks, it can be hard to tell them apart.

Posted by: Just Spitballin' Here at July 13, 2013 10:45 AM (snXD2)

Yeah I saw a big triangle thing near Durango, CO. Had red and blue sparks falling off it, very strange.

Having said that, I don't have any reason to believe it came from another planet. After all, I saw it on this planet and this one is plenty weird.

Posted by: I <3 pointy elbows at July 13, 2013 10:46 AM (TnkmQ)

51 speaking of aliens, does anyone have any information about that shooting in a San Fran Mall? All I know is two people are dead, and the unnamed guy gave himself up after running out of ammo.

Posted by: spypeach at July 13, 2013 10:46 AM (0n1+D)

52 My walls aren't going to paint themselves

Posted by: Navycopjoe at July 13, 2013 02:44 PM (0XV8C)

--------------------------------------------------

Thanks for reminding me. I gotta call my handiman to fix a spot on my ceiling.

Posted by: Soona at July 13, 2013 10:47 AM (oSsMU)

53 If aliens were going to go all the way here, wouldn't they at least chose an NBA player who didn't suck?

Do you mean literally or figuratively? Oh, wait. Shit.

Posted by: Jason Collins at July 13, 2013 10:47 AM (Aif/5)

54 WTH was that?! Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at July 13, 2013 02:40 PM (jjvz+) A clip from my favorite B (for really BAD) movie "Dark Star". It was made in 1974 for $60k by John Carpenter and Dan O'Bannion. And yes, that really is a beach ball. The movie also has a great little philosophy lesson: http://youtu.be/qjGRySVyTDk Supposedly Carpenter got the idea for the alien in "Alien" from the beach ball alien in Dark Star...

Posted by: Nighthawk at July 13, 2013 10:47 AM (0qalu)

55 Is... is that Vermont in that picture? Those definitely look like Brattleboro cows. See, the second one getting lifted up, with its ass in the air? It's Mary Cloggenstein!

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit [/b][/i][/u] at July 13, 2013 10:48 AM (CA2NO)

56 Hierarchy of disbelief. From more incredulous to completely ridiculous: Democrats who actually care about minorities. *** Not minority related, but Texas Sen. Lucia (sp?) was very passionate last night about passing the new abortion bill. I predict he will have a difficult time getting reelected.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at July 13, 2013 10:48 AM (jjvz+)

57 speaking of aliens, does anyone have any information about that shooting in a San Fran Mall? All I know is two people are dead, and the unnamed guy gave himself up after running out of ammo.

Posted by: spypeach at July 13, 2013 02:46 PM (0n1+D)

-----------------------------------------------

The shooter better hope no one thinks he fired off any warning shots.

Posted by: Soona at July 13, 2013 10:49 AM (oSsMU)

58 I don't want to see my name mentioned in this thread. You hear me?

Posted by: Helen Thomas at July 13, 2013 02:40 PM (oSsMU)

Helen Thomas had double-anal-dildo sloppy sex with her own clone.

Posted by: Things that you can't Un-Imagine at July 13, 2013 10:49 AM (S75DT)

59 46 NavyCopAJoe,

That means Barack's friend from a few months ago is precluded right?

*schwing*

Posted by: sven10077@sven10077 at July 13, 2013 10:49 AM (LRFds)

On thing that makes me skeptical is how many different geometries UFOs are reported to have.

It would seem one basic kind of geometry would funtion for "gravitational" travel.

Posted by: eleven at July 13, 2013 10:51 AM (fsLdt)

61 Note to self: Have memory eraser checked out.

Posted by: Emyperor Henry "The Sniffer" Waxman VI ruler of the planet Zontar at July 13, 2013 10:52 AM (mETGQ)

62 21 My brother and I saw a perfectly stationary ring hovering over our neighborhood at several thousand feet. It looked just like an inner tube, but it must've been thirty feet in diameter, judging by the height. We watched it for about five minutes, and then it disappeared into the clouds.

Posted by: Tacky Adhesive at July 13, 2013 02:32 PM (Ptv7k)

5 minutes? Plenty of time to whip out the cell phone....

Posted by: KG at July 13, 2013 10:52 AM (IPz9m)

63 I and a number of people with me saw one on the PA/NY border in the early 90's after a nice dinner. A glowing yellow ball high in the atmosphere was unexplained by the authorities in the NYT the next morning.

Posted by: dfbaskwill at July 13, 2013 10:52 AM (ndlFj)

64 60 Eleven,

say there was alien life, say it is intelligent, say there are more than one species of alien life from disparate sectors of space, it would be different brands of propulsion dynamics most likely....

of course I say it was cow gas

Posted by: sven10077@sven10077 at July 13, 2013 10:53 AM (LRFds)

65 he's pranking everyone, especially the Media-o-sphere and you're all falling for it, lol

Posted by: Shoey at July 13, 2013 10:53 AM (m6OUa)

66 Actually, in all seriousness - yes - I've seen a UFO. Twice. Once (the really unexplainable time) was quite close, in an area I'm very familiar with (I lived there).

I was with 2 other people - one a Captain in the Army. It didn't really register what it was - all I could think of was getting to a camera (this was before cell phones). I was certain we'd here a crash as it was so low and diving behind a hillside. I've flown (and hiked) over this area a zillion times - so I knew exactly where it would have wound up.

Nope. It wasn't until afterwards when it sank in what it really was. It was like this has got to be [insert rational explanation here], but nothing fit into the slot. There were lots of landmarks to give us the size of this thing - it was lighting up the hillside.

I'm still a sceptic - but UFO is exactly what it means - unidentified. And, it certainly was airborne. BTW, Ames Research is within visual distance of this place.

Posted by: Clutch Cargo at July 13, 2013 10:53 AM (pgQxn)

67 And here I thought all New York Knickerbockers were fucking aliens. True story, - Patrick Ewing is from Rigel Kent.

Posted by: Fritz at July 13, 2013 10:53 AM (G9Mmf)

68 The anal probings will continue until morale improves.

Posted by: Your Alien Overlords at July 13, 2013 10:55 AM (trhwS)

69 It was a disc shape, lights moving around the perimeter, hovering or flying slowly, then gone fast. A minute later, several military jets flew by. We were not high, I swear.

Posted by: real joe at July 13, 2013 10:55 AM (Sorwn)

70 The way things are going I would welcome an alien abduction.As long as there is no anal probing. If I thought it'd get the country back in the hands of decent people, I'd offer up my anal for probing, provided there was sufficient lube and a good selection of music whilst it was happening.

Posted by: Tammy sans Thor at July 13, 2013 10:56 AM (Pb0zF)

71 5 minutes? Plenty of time to whip out the cell phone....

Posted by: KG at July 13, 2013 02:52 PM (IPz9m)

-----------------------------------------------

I find it strange that when people record a UFO, they always reach for the old Kodak Land Camera or a broken Polaroid.

Posted by: Soona at July 13, 2013 10:56 AM (oSsMU)

72 "All right, Beatrice, there was no alien. The flash of light you saw in the sky was not a UFO. Swamp gas from a weather balloon was trapped in a thermal pocket and reflected the light from Venus."

Posted by: Kay at July 13, 2013 10:56 AM (BAS5M)

73 I've seen attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion.

Posted by: Roy Batty at July 13, 2013 10:57 AM (h4T+Q)

74 72 Kay,

Goddamn it Kay, let me get Senator Waxman out of sight before you fry the poor woman's brain...

//Jay

Posted by: sven10077@sven10077 at July 13, 2013 10:58 AM (LRFds)

75 59. New friend? Which tool is this?

Posted by: Navycopjoe at July 13, 2013 10:59 AM (MBzEc)

76 If you wear red pants like Baron BTW, you are just asking for an anal probe.

Posted by: Clutch Cargo at July 13, 2013 10:59 AM (pgQxn)

77 Kids and I are watching Axe Giant on SyFy. Yay SyFy! Anyway, the show ends with the local chapter of the NRA showing up and blowing the evil giant away. One of them looked like he was sporting an elephant gun. Awesomeness kids!

Posted by: Jmel at July 13, 2013 10:59 AM (cfFqn)

78 Aliens turned me into a newt...but I got better.

Posted by: Purp[/i][/b][/u][/s] at July 13, 2013 11:00 AM (lm0Rv)

I find it strange that when people record a UFO, they always reach for the old Kodak Land Camera or a broken Polaroid

That's another thing. What a coincidence that all unexplained phenomena caught on tape are barely ledgible. And filmed by someone who just happens to have the palsy.

Posted by: eleven at July 13, 2013 11:00 AM (fsLdt)

80 70. Nah, I like you too much Next time you toss a hanging curve though..

Posted by: Navycopjoe at July 13, 2013 11:00 AM (MBzEc)

81 It's a cookbook!

Posted by: Dennis Kucinich at July 13, 2013 11:00 AM (aHUDJ)

82 Well there was this one time at band camp......

Posted by: Truck Monkey, Gruntled New Business Owner at July 13, 2013 11:00 AM (jucos)

83 Anyway, the show ends with the local chapter of the NRA showing up and blowing the evil giant away.

Well of course the good shit happens when I stop watching.

Posted by: Adam at July 13, 2013 11:01 AM (Aif/5)

84 Â“I come back and like, IÂ’m sharper and s---. You know what I mean?Â” he asked the hosts. Â“IÂ’m retaining information.Â”

Yes, he sounds like he's much sharper and shit

Posted by: TheQuietMan at July 13, 2013 11:02 AM (TGA2G)

85 Well kids, off to wake up the munchkin cause the shoot starts at ten

Posted by: Navycopjoe at July 13, 2013 11:03 AM (MBzEc)

86 Is that it? Is that all you're gonna ask me? Well I got a couple of thousand goddamn questions, you know. I want to speak to someone in charge. I want to lodge a complaint. You have no right to make people crazy! You think I investigate every Walter Cronkite story there is? Huh? If this is just nerve gas, how come I know everything in such detail? I've never been here before. How come I know so much? What the hell is going on around here? Who the hell are you people?

Posted by: Roy Neary irresolute at July 13, 2013 11:03 AM (DBH1h)

87 Around 1979-80, I was riding in a friend's car along the Belt Parkway, near JFK Airport. It was dusk/twilight when I noticed five bright lights in the sky moving in tandem with our car. At first I thought it might have been an aircraft, or perhaps the reflections of headlights or street lamps, when in an instant, the lights stopped and then shot off in different directions. I am not going to say what it was that I saw because I have no idea.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at July 13, 2013 11:05 AM (+98Gb)

88 This thread brought to by George Noory's "Coast to Coast All Night" radio program.

Posted by: Soona at July 13, 2013 11:06 AM (oSsMU)

89 Lately the NFL has lost all creditability with me,along with so many other organizations, especially our representative republic. Those bastards don't represent us!

Posted by: CarolT at July 13, 2013 11:06 AM (z4WKX)

90 I just thought of The Far Side and looked it up in Bing. Yep. Still just as funny today.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at July 13, 2013 11:07 AM (jjvz+)

91 Oh I know aliens are real. Remember the song "Purple People Eater"? The dude was real and he procreated and had a son, Barack Hussein Obama. How else would you explain those purple lips

Posted by: Ma Bell at July 13, 2013 11:08 AM (RLdcX)

It's too many Pan-Galactic Gargle-Blasters.

Or not enough Pan-Galactic Gargle-Blasters.

Either/or.

Posted by: Dodge Prefect, Ford's little brother at July 13, 2013 11:08 AM (0HooB)

93 Lately the NFL has lost all creditability with me,along with so many other organizations, especially our representative republic. Those bastards don't represent us!

Posted by: CarolT at July 13, 2013 03:06 PM (z4WKX)

--------------------------------------------------

Wow. Our plan is working beyond our wildest expectations.

Posted by: Baraka O'Preezy regime at July 13, 2013 11:09 AM (oSsMU)

94 Posted by: Navycopjoe at July 13, 2013 03:00 PM (MBzEc) MWAH! How the beautiful Mz T and that talented young 'un of yours doing?

Posted by: Tammy sans Thor at July 13, 2013 11:09 AM (Pb0zF)

95 I just thought of The Far Side and looked it up in Bing.

Yep. Still just as funny today.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at July 13, 2013 03:07 PM (jjvz+)

---------------------------------------

Absurd humor made classy.

Posted by: Baraka O'Preezy regime at July 13, 2013 11:10 AM (oSsMU)

96 If I thought it'd get the country back in the hands of decent people, I'd offer up my anal for probing, provided there was sufficient lube and a good selection of music whilst it was happening. Posted by: Tammy sans Thor at July 13, 2013 02:56 PM (Pb0zF) How YOU doin'??

Posted by: Sean Bannion at July 13, 2013 11:11 AM (FPrBz)

Well, I haven't met any aliens, but the sheriff's deputy who investigated my F-I-L's disappearance also investigated a cattle mutilation case and one of the leading theories was aliens. Fer realz.

Link to my blog in my nick

Although why they would want cow's blood is anyone's guess.

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at July 13, 2013 11:11 AM (mvenn)

98 Damn these socks

Posted by: Soona at July 13, 2013 11:11 AM (oSsMU)

99 That picture is entitled: Hamburger for Dinner.

Posted by: Dodge Prefect, Ford's little brother at July 13, 2013 11:11 AM (0HooB)

100 All I can remember, because it was so long ago and I was just a little guy, is that the one standing next to me said "This one is mine. I'll come back for him later." I could see other children being led off across a wide dark area, but not me. I have been waiting for a very long time. I have no doubt that it will return some day.

Posted by: and irresolute at July 13, 2013 11:13 AM (DBH1h)

101 Those of you who have been anally probed - fess up.

Posted by: Shark Cracka! at July 13, 2013 11:13 AM (cjFRv)

102 Gonna echo Cato on the just means unidentified.

Seen 3 ; two I found out later what it probably was, the other I have no clue. First two were just north of Wright Patterson AFB and were a pair of grey flying wings with normal running lights flying in formation going north. At the time I hadn't seen any wings with that leading/trailing edge profile. The Boeing flying wing drone they declassified a few years ago has that same shape, I just saw it like 3 years before it was supposed to have even been designed.

The other one was a black wing with a smooth trailing edge over my neighborhood, looked like at the altitude about where the business jets fly over in this area. It was slowly heading E-NE for about a minute, turned about 100 degrees left, with no banking that I could see, within the length of its own wingspan and continued off in that direction. One flashing red light on the center. Never seen anything in the sky turn like that, and I grew up under USAF runway approaches, so don't know what to make of it.

Posted by: Ranba Ral at July 13, 2013 11:14 AM (G99e4)

103 Is it me or is that bottom cow presenting?

Posted by: George Costanza at July 13, 2013 11:14 AM (Skkie)

104 Anyone ever visit Area51? I've only scouted it out online but I'm surprised there are not more touristy things to do. It seems like there is money to be made off fools. I would enjoy something schlocky. The more schlocky the better. There could even be a anal probing room for he full alien abduction experience. 50% off for morons, just present your aoshq premium membership.

Posted by: Shark Cracka! at July 13, 2013 11:16 AM (cjFRv)

105 Posted by: Sean Bannion at July 13, 2013 03:11 PM (FPrBz) Not even the searing flames of lust I feel at the mere sight of your name are enough to make me risk the wrath of Herself.

Posted by: Tammy sans Thor at July 13, 2013 11:16 AM (Pb0zF)

106 I see Tammy is drunk already.

Posted by: Muad'dib at July 13, 2013 11:17 AM (OSARm)

107 The other one was a black wing with a smooth trailing edge over my neighborhood, looked like at the altitude about where the business jets fly over in this area. It was slowly heading E-NE for about a minute, turned about 100 degrees left, with no banking that I could see, within the length of its own wingspan and continued off in that direction. One flashing red light on the center. Never seen anything in the sky turn like that, and I grew up under USAF runway approaches, so don't know what to make of it.

Posted by: Ranba Ral at July 13, 2013 03:14 PM (G99e4)

------------------------------------------------

Sounds like a boomerang. You got any aboriginies in your neighborhood?

Posted by: Soona at July 13, 2013 11:18 AM (oSsMU)

108

Been past area 51 a few times. Not really much to see there. Lots of schlock, though.

White Sands is more worth your time, imho. Especially if you are looking for flyong objects.

Posted by: garrett at July 13, 2013 11:18 AM (Skkie)

109

The bartender says: Â“We donÂ’t serve faster-than-light particles here.Â”

A tachyon enters a bar.

Posted by: Clutch Cargo at July 13, 2013 11:18 AM (pgQxn)

110 barrel

Posted by: Muad'dib at July 13, 2013 11:19 AM (OSARm)

111 That picture is entitled: Hamburger for Dinner. Now I know where Jack In The Box gets its beef.

Posted by: George Orwell half in the bag at July 13, 2013 11:19 AM (mCNwt)

112 ah crap!
That's what happens when I kill the scripting thing.

Posted by: Clutch Cargo at July 13, 2013 11:19 AM (pgQxn)

113 I have a theory about the whole anal probing thing. Specifically as it relates to aliens.

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at July 13, 2013 11:19 AM (mvenn)

114 And I'm on firefox. Go figure.

Posted by: Clutch Cargo at July 13, 2013 11:19 AM (pgQxn)

115 82 Well there was this one time at band camp...... Posted by: Truck Monkey, Gruntled New Business Owner at July 13, 2013 03:00 PM (jucos) Nope,don't wanna know, some things are private.. Especially when a flute is involved... 😧

Posted by: Snail racing champion at July 13, 2013 11:19 AM (/jewL)

116 Now I know where Jack In The Box gets its beef.

Posted by: George Orwell half in the bag at July 13, 2013 03:19 PM (mCNwt)

And no wonder it tastes like crap.

Posted by: KG at July 13, 2013 11:19 AM (IPz9m)

117 hmmm. just ran across this AJC article about 4 black teens (or near teens) severely beating a white guy, who then tried to get away from them and was run over by a car. Dead? Yep. Race involved? Nope. Gang shit involved? Yep.

Well, according to the AJC, anyhow.

http://tinyurl.com/qxceky7

Posted by: GnuBreed at July 13, 2013 11:20 AM (cHZB7)

118 I have a theory about the whole anal probing thing. Specifically as it relates to aliens. To explain it does it require diagrams?

Posted by: George Orwell half in the bag at July 13, 2013 11:20 AM (mCNwt)

119 At Sunday morning breakfast Dad said he'd seen a UFO on the back forty at 2am. Us kids checked it out - melted snow and burnt rocks. No footprints. Prank or proof? We still don't know and Dad ain't saying.

Posted by: Central Ohio Winter '74 at July 13, 2013 11:20 AM (c4IyR)

120

a good selection of music whilst it was happening.

KEEP IT GREASY

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ly79mkffp7M

Posted by: Zombie Frank Zappa at July 13, 2013 11:21 AM (Skkie)

121 I have a theory about the whole anal probing thing. Specifically as it relates to aliens.

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at July 13, 2013 03:19 PM (mvenn)

-----------------------------------------------

What? All aliens are homos?

Posted by: Soona at July 13, 2013 11:21 AM (oSsMU)

122 Sounds like a boomerang. You got any aboriginies in your neighborhood? *** LOL

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at July 13, 2013 11:21 AM (jjvz+)

123 Â“This was not racially motivated,Â” Pierce told the Atlanta Journal-Constitution. Â“Cobb County police are investigating this like any other crime.Â”Â“This was not racially motivated,Â” Pierce told the Atlanta Journal-Constitution. Â“Cobb County police are investigating this like any other crime.Â” Some animals are more equal than others. Especially space-faring cattle.

Posted by: George Orwell half in the bag at July 13, 2013 11:21 AM (mCNwt)

124 Obviously, people are really interested in sex with aliens. One could have a store that sells sex items with an alien bent. Planetary lubes, anal probers, videos of aliens having sex with each other and humans, etc. Who wants to invest?

Posted by: Shark Cracka! at July 13, 2013 11:22 AM (cjFRv)

125 The cattle mutilation theorists have never seen what bugs can do, huh?

I've got a jar full of rods for ya.

Posted by: Clutch Cargo at July 13, 2013 11:22 AM (pgQxn)

126 Sounds like a boomerang. You got any aboriginies in your neighborhood? Posted by: Soona

Nah, more like a compressed triangle. Like someone stretched one of those old lifting body test planes to be 3x wider than it is long.

So it was obviously a weather balloon.

Or swamp gas reflecting Jupiter.

Posted by: Ranba Ral at July 13, 2013 11:22 AM (G99e4)

127 The Mothership landed in Houston 1977. Dr. Funkenstien. http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=uQFGkGk4PSc#t=553s

Posted by: 13times at July 13, 2013 11:23 AM (fGPLK)

128 No barrel for Clutch, that was hysterical! And damn you, Zappa, I cannot stand your music. But you were one of us, so I will say no more!

Posted by: Tammy sans Thor at July 13, 2013 11:23 AM (Pb0zF)

129 Planetary lubes, anal probers, videos of aliens having sex with each other and humans, etc. Who wants to invest? If Art Bell is in need of cash, he needs to get in on the ground floor.

Posted by: George Orwell half in the bag at July 13, 2013 11:23 AM (mCNwt)

130 Obviously, people are really interested in sex with aliens. One could have a store that sells sex items with an alien bent. Planetary lubes, anal probers, videos of aliens having sex with each other and humans, etc. Who wants to invest? *** You've obviously never seen the Green Purple People Eater vid. Entirely NSFA

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at July 13, 2013 11:24 AM (jjvz+)

131 I'm starting to buy into the chemtrail thing though - especially after TFG got reelected.

Posted by: Clutch Cargo at July 13, 2013 11:24 AM (pgQxn)

132 So, chemtrails are actually cow farts jettisoned from flying saucers?

Posted by: George Orwell half in the bag at July 13, 2013 11:24 AM (mCNwt)

133

So here's the theory:

Alien spaceships use a fuel that is chemically very similar to methane. They have developed means for detecting methane in trace amounts, and have devices for extracting the methane from it source. Hence the predilection for cows and rednecks. They see us not as organisms, but as little individual refueling stations.

Sort of like how Scotty always was able to find dilithium crystals when the Enterprise was stranded in orbit around some gosh-forsaken planet.

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at July 13, 2013 11:24 AM (mvenn)

134 investigated a cattle mutilation case *** One of the funniest things I ever saw on TV: forty years ago a local station did a special on cattle mutilations. The interviewed a crusty old rancher who had seen a UFO abduct a cow. He rancher near Greeley CO where the university is. Under hypnosis he described the UFO coming down and using a beam to lift the cow that was later found mutilated. (See picture above,) He said he said he was shocked and the only thing he could think was it must be a sex cult from the university. Amishdude is right. I should have studied something besides law.

Posted by: WalrusRex at July 13, 2013 11:25 AM (VlXYw)

135 White Sands is more worth your time, imho. Especially if you are looking for flyong objects. Posted by: garrett at July 13, 2013 03:18 PM (Skkie) I lived in Alamogordo when I was a kid, white sands was cool, we always had our Easter BBQ's there. Also, my friend and I saw a UFO, no one believed us. I'm pretty sure they may have implanted something in my head because sometimes in the middle of the night I find myself calling out to the mother ship.

Posted by: spypeach at July 13, 2013 11:25 AM (0n1+D)

136 Obviously, people are really interested in sex with aliens. One could have a store that sells sex items with an alien bent. Planetary lubes, anal probers, videos of aliens having sex with each other and humans, etc. Who wants to invest?

Posted by: Shark Cracka! at July 13, 2013 03:22 PM (cjFRv)

-------------------------------------

Dear Penthouse Forum..............

Posted by: Soona at July 13, 2013 11:25 AM (oSsMU)

137 How can you hate Frank's music? For. Shame.

Posted by: garrett at July 13, 2013 11:25 AM (Skkie)

138 Is it solipsistic in here, or is it just me?

Posted by: Clutch Cargo at July 13, 2013 11:25 AM (pgQxn)

139 The Mothership landed in Houston 1977. Dr. Funkenstien. *** HA! I skipped to the 9 min mark, just in time to see it land.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at July 13, 2013 11:26 AM (jjvz+)

140 Alien spaceships use a fuel that is chemically very similar to methane. They have developed means for detecting methane in trace amounts, and have devices for extracting the methane from it source. Hence the predilection for cows and rednecks. They see us not as organisms, but as little individual refueling stations. All along, T. Boone Pickens was actually in the LNG racket to boost interstellar commerce.

Posted by: George Orwell half in the bag at July 13, 2013 11:26 AM (mCNwt)

141 Report #356-09l After taking samples on this planet we can conclude no intelligent life exists.

Posted by: The Antareans at July 13, 2013 11:27 AM (V1ZIU)

142 What on Earth of those 6 women doing ?!

Posted by: Muad'dib at July 13, 2013 11:27 AM (OSARm)

143 I'm starting to buy into the chemtrail thing though - especially after TFG got reelected.

Posted by: Clutch Cargo at July 13, 2013 03:24 PM (pgQxn)

-----------------------------------------

Then I guess you need to go shopping for a shitload of vinegar.

Posted by: Soona at July 13, 2013 11:28 AM (oSsMU)

144 Some great instrumental albums that Zappa never wanted to release but the labels did anyway: Studio Tan and Sleep Dirt. At least I heard he didn't approve of it.

Posted by: George Orwell half in the bag at July 13, 2013 11:28 AM (mCNwt)

145 The irony of my pseudonym aside, I find the comments here about cameras amusing. Especially because it's my opinion that the modern cell-phone camera with its very small lens sucks more than a 1960's polaroid.

Posted by: Thing From Snowy Mountain at July 13, 2013 11:28 AM (PgNb6)

146 are, not of

Posted by: Muad'dib at July 13, 2013 11:28 AM (OSARm)

147 Ok,
What does the dyslexic, agnostic insomniac spend too much time doing?

Staying up all night wondering if there really is a dog.

Posted by: Clutch Cargo at July 13, 2013 11:29 AM (pgQxn)

148 He rancher near Greeley CO where the university is. Under hypnosis he described the UFO coming down and using a beam to lift the cow that was later found mutilated. (See picture above,) He said he said he was shocked and the only thing he could think was it must be a sex cult from the university.

Amishdude is right. I should have studied something besides law.

Posted by: WalrusRex at July 13, 2013 03:25 PM (VlXYw)

***

Dayum. My brother was in college at Fort Collins in the early '70s. That would have been about the same time. Coincidence? I think not. He always struck me as sort of a bovine sex cult prone sort of guy.

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at July 13, 2013 11:29 AM (mvenn)

149 Under hypnosis he described the UFO coming down and using a beam to lift the cow that was later found mutilated. (See picture above,) He said he said he was shocked and the only thing he could think was it must be a sex cult from the university. This cracks me up. Can't you just hear the old sweetie saying it?

Posted by: Tammy sans Thor at July 13, 2013 11:29 AM (Pb0zF)

150 Now I've got to go listen to Apostrophe.

Posted by: Clutch Cargo at July 13, 2013 11:29 AM (pgQxn)

151 I wonder why the aliens never abduct sheep. I guess galoshes are scarce in outer space.

Posted by: George Orwell half in the bag at July 13, 2013 11:30 AM (mCNwt)

152 144 What on Earth of those 6 women doing ?! Posted by: Muad'dib at July 13, 2013 03:27 PM (OSARm) Scary isn't it? Of course it could be one person hanging on for guilty or one person hanging on for not guilty...or any number of other combinations.

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at July 13, 2013 11:30 AM (V1ZIU)

153 Clutch, you are on a roll!

Posted by: Tammy sans Thor at July 13, 2013 11:30 AM (Pb0zF)

154

>>> What on Earth of those 6 women doing ?!

If I know anything about women : Talking.

Posted by: garrett at July 13, 2013 11:31 AM (Skkie)

155 >>Scary isn't it? <<

The longer it goes the more likely one of your scenarios is correct. Ruling on emotion instead of evidence and the law. Trying to be Solomon.

Posted by: Muad'dib at July 13, 2013 11:32 AM (OSARm)

156 He always struck me as sort of a bovine sex cult prone sort of guy.

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at July 13, 2013 03:29 PM (mvenn)

*****

P.S. You should see his wife!

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at July 13, 2013 11:32 AM (mvenn)

157 Nah there won't be any violence if he's acquitted.

http://tinyurl.com/ppwtkb2

Posted by: Adam at July 13, 2013 11:32 AM (Aif/5)

158 I saw crop circles this morning on a farm off Mcllelland Circle Road in Georgetown, KY. Not sure if the guy made them himself, but they were impressive looking from the road.

Posted by: Johnnyreb at July 13, 2013 11:32 AM (cDr8Y)

159 Like, when I heard that Oxygen and Magnesium hooked up, I was all like, OMg!

Posted by: Clutch Cargo at July 13, 2013 11:32 AM (pgQxn)

160 Bob Owens tweet... Remember: white smoke from the Vatican chimney means #Zimmerman has been acquitted. Stevets reply Remember: white smoke from the Vatican chimney means #Zimmerman has been acquitted. " You mean"black smoke from Miami"

Posted by: Dept. Of Acuracy at July 13, 2013 11:32 AM (MhA4j)

161 What would be cool is if someone built a light saber that you inserted in your ass. The light would come shooting out of it, complete with sound effects. Would definitely cut down on the number of ass bandits.

Posted by: Shark Cracka! at July 13, 2013 11:33 AM (cjFRv)

162 never saw a UFO myself have met people who swear they have. Some more credible than others. One horrendous car ride from Kansas City To Greenbay was shared with a woman who claimed to have past lives as well as UFO abduction experiences and that her best friend had a half-alien baby. The Russian scientist who was sharing the back seat of this minivan to hell with his wife and I asked drily: "Since we are in car and she is your friend may we stop by so i may see this baby?"

"Oh no. The aliens came back and took it."

When we got to Greenbay i really considered cutting this business trip short and paying the 1200$ for the one way plane ticket home to get away from her. This seminar was so not worth it. The Ticket agent talked me down with the skill of a suicide hotline operator and got me a cheaper ticket out of Boise and i finished the trip, but wow that lady was scary.

Posted by: gushka's got a Kitty what plays fetch! ! at July 13, 2013 11:33 AM (r7Ddb)

163 Orwell, Thor is on a Zappa kick lately. There has yet to be a song I like, not even one, after listening to at least 6 albums...not sure which ones, though. I think he's very talented as far as his playing, I just don't like any of his songs.

Posted by: Tammy sans Thor at July 13, 2013 11:34 AM (Pb0zF)

164 A Roman walks into a bar and holds up two fingers and says: "Five beers please."

Posted by: Clutch Cargo at July 13, 2013 11:34 AM (pgQxn)

165 >> Would definitely cut down on the number of ass bandits.<<

I believe the AOSHQ style guide calls for "rump rangers" instead of ass bandits.

Posted by: Muad'dib at July 13, 2013 11:34 AM (OSARm)

166 Has anyone ever seen a French-made automobile? That's probably half the sightings right there.

Posted by: Soona at July 13, 2013 11:34 AM (oSsMU)

167 {{{{{{Gushie}}}}}} !!!

Posted by: Tammy sans Thor at July 13, 2013 11:34 AM (Pb0zF)

168 Here is the twitter acct of the court p.r. guy: http://goo.gl/t2DFR He will officially send out a tweet when a verdict is reached.

Posted by: Shark Cracka! at July 13, 2013 11:35 AM (cjFRv)

169 The longer it goes the more likely one of your scenarios is correct. Ruling on emotion instead of evidence and the law. Trying to be Solomon.

Posted by: Muad'dib at July 13, 2013 03:32 PM (OSARm)

*****

I've had the same thought. Here's the thing, though.

Solomon ultimately didn't split the baby!

Convicting on manslaughter as a 'split-the-difference' strategy would be the equivalent of actually slicing the baby down the middle.

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at July 13, 2013 11:35 AM (mvenn)

170 TAMMY!!!!!!!!

Posted by: gushka's got a Kitty what plays fetch! ! at July 13, 2013 11:35 AM (r7Ddb)

171 Nah there won't be any violence if he's acquitted. *** I would be just broken hearted if someone picked up a rock and tripped into his head.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at July 13, 2013 11:36 AM (jjvz+)

172 Posted by: Shark Cracka! at July 13, 2013 03:33 PM (cjFRv) I think the time has come for you to change your nic to ass cracka!, don't you?

Posted by: Tammy sans Thor at July 13, 2013 11:36 AM (Pb0zF)

173 169 Has anyone ever seen a French-made automobile? That's probably half the sightings right there.

That doesn't explain the things actually moving.
And a complete lack of oil puddles as well.

Posted by: Clutch Cargo at July 13, 2013 11:36 AM (pgQxn)

174 I think he's very talented as far as his playing, I just don't like any of his songs. So give the instrumentals a shot. YMMV, of course. Music is a taste.

Posted by: George Orwell half in the bag at July 13, 2013 11:36 AM (mCNwt)

175 A Roman walks into a bar and holds up two fingers and says: "Five beers please." *** Giggle

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at July 13, 2013 11:37 AM (jjvz+)

176 I believe the AOSHQ style guide calls for "rump rangers" instead of ass bandits.

Posted by: Muad'dib at July 13, 2013 03:34 PM (OSARm)

*****

We will also accept "derriere despoilers" during off-peak hours.

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at July 13, 2013 11:37 AM (mvenn)

177 Has anyone ever seen a French-made automobile? That's probably half the sightings right there. My heifer was mutilated by a CitroÃ«n 2CV.

Posted by: George Orwell half in the bag at July 13, 2013 11:37 AM (mCNwt)

178 There are 10 types of people in this world.

Those that know binary, and those that don't.

Posted by: Clutch Cargo at July 13, 2013 11:37 AM (pgQxn)

179 Worst of all, after abducting him, the aliens traded him to Charlotte for Kemba Walker and a second-round draft pick.

Posted by: LexisTexas at July 13, 2013 11:38 AM (kPFAg)

180 There are 10 types of people in this world. Those that know binary, and those that don't. I was told there would be 0 math.

Posted by: George Orwell half in the bag at July 13, 2013 11:38 AM (mCNwt)

181 Remember me boys? I'm baaaaaack!!

Posted by: Russell Casse at July 13, 2013 11:38 AM (BAS5M)

182 So give the instrumentals a shot. YMMV, of course. Music is a taste. Yea, heard instrumentals on several albums, still not anything I cared for.... other than he's a hella good guitarist.

Posted by: Tammy sans Thor at July 13, 2013 11:39 AM (Pb0zF)

183 Miss Tammy I have missed you so! i was afraid for a while YOU had been abducted by aliens, or worse! seeing as you are now around i may have to lurk less and comment more.

And yeah French Autos are something awful to look at and inexplicable too but they certainly dont move much. There WAS however an Aurora Aircraft that did come in the shape of a ring. Do not ask how i know. But it was ours and it wasn't all they hoped it would be, i guess.

Posted by: gushka's got a Kitty what plays fetch! ! at July 13, 2013 11:39 AM (r7Ddb)

184

The light would come shooting out of it, complete with sound effects.

*****

That happened to me once after a burrito dinner at my ex-wife's parents' house.

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at July 13, 2013 11:40 AM (mvenn)

185 Remember me boys? I'm baaaaaack!! *** I think some aliens abducted Quaid since that time because he's just become flat out strange.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at July 13, 2013 11:40 AM (jjvz+)

186 I believe the AOSHQ style guide calls for "rump rangers" instead of ass bandits. Posted by: Muad'dib at July 13, 2013 03:34 PM (OSARm) ***** We will also accept "derriere despoilers" during off-peak hours. Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at July 13, 2013 03:37 PM (mvenn) Booty bangers?

Posted by: Tammy sans Thor at July 13, 2013 11:40 AM (Pb0zF)

187 >>>Worst of all, after abducting him, the aliens traded him to Charlotte for Kemba Walker and a second-round draft pick.

You win the chicken dinner, my fellow moron.

Posted by: Fritz at July 13, 2013 11:41 AM (G9Mmf)

188 Seriously, you guys, why do all these people who believe that they were abducted also believed that they were probed anally? What's up with that????

Posted by: Shark Cracka! at July 13, 2013 11:42 AM (cjFRv)

189 When I was a Boy Scout a group of us walked right up on one in the Bastrop Lost Pines Forest. We stopped to watch from about forty yards. Scared because it was making all the trees shake. It took off as we watched, flew by maybe twenty feet over our heads and there was a thump and it was gone.

Posted by: Dept. Of Acuracy at July 13, 2013 11:42 AM (MhA4j)

190 Miss Tammy I have missed you so! i was afraid for a while YOU had been abducted by aliens, or worse! Definitely worse! But he called me at three last night, drunk and playing Stevie Ray Vaughn, so I suspect The Fighting Times are almost over. Defeat is a bitter pill, but I cannot handle the fighting any longer. How are you??? Is the guest house done?

Posted by: Tammy sans Thor at July 13, 2013 11:43 AM (Pb0zF)

191

We will also accept "derriere despoilers" during off-peak hours.
Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at July 13, 2013 03:37 PM (mvenn)

Booty bangers?

Posted by: Tammy sans Thor at July 13, 2013 03:40 PM (Pb0zF)

--------------------------------------------

And don't forget the ever popular "fudge packers".

Posted by: Soona at July 13, 2013 11:44 AM (oSsMU)

192 Did you hear about the man that got cooled to absolute zero? He's 0k now.

Posted by: Clutch Cargo at July 13, 2013 11:44 AM (pgQxn)

193 STUPID SPELL CHECK RUINS EVERYTHING!
0k, ZEROk you stupid piece of nazi crap!

Posted by: Clutch Cargo at July 13, 2013 11:45 AM (pgQxn)

194 is 0 a unicode thing here? I thought it was just ampersands.

Posted by: Clutch Cargo at July 13, 2013 11:46 AM (pgQxn)

195

Ironic isn't it? When the topic is anal probing the Horde can stay on-topic for over 200 comments!

Hmmm?

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at July 13, 2013 11:46 AM (mvenn)

196 yup, no zeros. Who knew?

Posted by: Clutch Cargo at July 13, 2013 11:46 AM (pgQxn)

197 Clutch has got a whole stand up thing going today. I like the tech theme. Carry on sir.

Posted by: Muad'dib at July 13, 2013 11:46 AM (OSARm)

198 1234567890

Posted by: Clutch Cargo at July 13, 2013 11:46 AM (pgQxn)

199 No, it's that damn old fashioned characters. My bad.

Posted by: Clutch Cargo at July 13, 2013 11:47 AM (pgQxn)

200

Did you hear about the lady who backed into an airplane propeller?

Disaster.

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at July 13, 2013 11:47 AM (mvenn)

201 Alright,
How many programmers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None, it's a hardware problem.

Posted by: Clutch Cargo at July 13, 2013 11:47 AM (pgQxn)

202 STUPID SPELL CHECK RUINS EVERYTHING!
0k, ZEROk you stupid piece of nazi crap!

Posted by: Clutch Cargo at July 13, 2013 03:45 PM (pgQxn)

>>>>

LMFAO. So close.

Posted by: Count de Monet at July 13, 2013 11:48 AM (BAS5M)

203 Anybody ever seen the movie Fire in the Sky? Pretty good flick, but this story is pretty captivating. From what I understand these guys passed dozens of polygraphs and still today maintain the story and there has never been any evidence to explain what happened. It's just really weird because if it's a hoax it's an amazingly elaborate one, which perhaps is the case, but it doesn't make sense. No monetary gain to speak of, in fact sticking to the story has ripped apart several families. There's no discernible motive for any of them to be lying.

Posted by: Andrew at July 13, 2013 11:49 AM (HS3dy)

204

Did you hear about the sausage maker who filled half his sausages with sawdust?

It was too hard to make both ends meet.

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at July 13, 2013 11:50 AM (mvenn)

205 I think we're about to be abducted by creatures from the planet Technogeek.

Posted by: Soona at July 13, 2013 11:50 AM (oSsMU)

206

Or the optician who fell into his lens grinding machine?

He made a spectacle of himself.

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at July 13, 2013 11:51 AM (mvenn)

207 About to be??? I kinda like it.

Posted by: Tammy sans Thor at July 13, 2013 11:52 AM (Pb0zF)

208 Is that spaceship in the pic sucking up cows? Fucking cows can't get a break.

***

Gary Larson is clearly behind that abduction.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at July 13, 2013 02:42 PM (jjvz+)

Ahem.

Posted by: Chic Fil A at July 13, 2013 11:52 AM (2hpna)

209 ugh.

Posted by: Clutch Cargo at July 13, 2013 11:52 AM (pgQxn)

210 An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The bartender says: "what'll it be boys?" The first mathematician says: "I'll have one half of a beer." The second mathematician says: "I'll have one quarter of a beer." The third one says: "I'll have one eighth of a beer." The fourth one says: "I'll have one sixteenth of..." The bartender interrupts: "Know your limits boys, know your limits." and pours out a single beer.

Posted by: Clutch Cargo at July 13, 2013 11:53 AM (pgQxn)

211 I hope I didn't miss Gushka!

Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith's Other Mobile[/i][/b][/s][/u] at July 13, 2013 11:53 AM (qyfb5)

212 btw. Watching "Battle Los Angeles" now. This is one of the better alien flicks to come out lately.

Posted by: Soona at July 13, 2013 11:54 AM (oSsMU)

213 A photon checks into a hotel, and the porter asks if he has any luggage.
The photon replies: "No, I'm traveling light."

Posted by: Clutch Cargo at July 13, 2013 11:55 AM (pgQxn)

214 Apropos to this thread - Anus from Uranus - Klaatu - http://tinyurl.com/ntoq5ar

Posted by: Dodge Prefect, Ford's little brother at July 13, 2013 11:55 AM (0HooB)

215 I have!

Posted by: Jimmy Carter at July 13, 2013 11:55 AM (25HWz)

216 215 Watching "Battle Los Angeles" now.
I thought that would be about them trying to shoot down a weather balloon for an hour.

Posted by: Clutch Cargo at July 13, 2013 11:56 AM (pgQxn)

217 I thought that would be about them trying to shoot down a weather balloon for an hour.

Posted by: Clutch Cargo at July 13, 2013 03:56 PM (pgQxn)

-----------------------------------------

Not only is it a good alien movie, but it definitely shows the military in a positive light. A good movie overall.

Posted by: Soona at July 13, 2013 11:58 AM (oSsMU)

218 I've been a star gazer forever and have never seen a UFO. Until one night ... I was driving my mother to see my new place. We were almost there, stopped at a traffic light, when what I thought was a plane appeared to fly low overhead and toward the airport a couple of miles from my house. I watched it, and all I could see was four lights as it flew in front of us. Then it turned down rapidly like it was in a crash dive. Something was definitely not right. The lights reached tree level - then it stopped and hung there. I continued driving toward home, and the pattern of lights was still visible. I soon discovered that whatever it was was hovering in the air behind my house. I was getting scared. I went out on the deck in the back and could see the four lights behind the trees, and I heard a low droning sound. I pulled out binocular - no better. I pulled out a telescope - no better, but now the object was slowly rising. Gradually the bottom of the object cleared the trees, and I could make out some markings. They looked like this: G o o d y e a r It was the F'n Goodyear Blimp! Turns out my little local airport is home to all the blimps that fly over NYC and provide coverage for sports. I've since learned that blimps can display a lot of strange behavior that matches UFO reports - like a cigar shaped object hovering at an odd angle and suddenly speeding away or disappearing. The odd sound is unlike that of an airplane. They are really interesting and fun to watch.

Posted by: En Raged at July 13, 2013 11:59 AM (QZvo7)

219 I haven't seen anything really amazing but I try not to be too judgmental, other than that there are some people who have good stories and some people who have bad stories (like big-hair History Channel guy). It often comes down to whether they're selling anything or not. I posit that Wierd Shit May Happen, and therefore I don't generally either doubt what other people saw nor take for granted that it was what they thought it was. Not that they thought Venus was an egg-shaped craft with tiny people climbing out of it, that's just dumb, but more vague stuff or more subjective experiences. I figure the least credible stuff is not that people are lying about abductions but that if you're being kidnapped by someone who performs involuntary medical procedures on you, they *may* also be lying to you when they tell you stuff. Just a thought. But I don't know, I didn't see what happened there. It's a thing. Oh, I take it back, I did see the Phoenix lights one time in the 90s when that was a thing. No idea what "it" was, except I can eliminate a few things - it wasn't flares or ultralights from the way it moved, and it was above a (low) cloud layer, and a helicopter flew underneath it, and then it turned (rotated) in a way that made it pretty clear it was one object. And the outer light was moving pretty quick as it rotated. That's it, no idea what it was.

Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith's Other Mobile[/i][/b][/s][/u] at July 13, 2013 12:02 PM (qyfb5)

220 I grew up on a ranch near Highway 93, in the flight path between Groom Lake and Mountain Home.
So yeah, I've seen UFOs, including several that looked like they shouldn't be able to fly. But they all had FAA lights.

Posted by: Luke at July 13, 2013 12:02 PM (jKmz8)

221 Oh, yeah. I never thought I'd be writing you guys, but after you asked, well I just had to tell my story... After all, I never thought this sort of thing could happen to me! Fuckers sucked me up, knocked me out and next thing I know I'm at the Playboy mansion in Chicago on this huge fuckin' round bed. At least, that's what they wanted me to believe... James Caan and Wilt Chamberlain were getting nasty with the Playmate of the Year, who was dressed up like a cow for some reason. Not a cowgirl. Like a cow. Wilt was screaming at James, "Cut her, Jimmy! Cut her like ya MEAN it!!!" Coupla big eyed babes were crawling across the bed at me with this big sex toy - and I mean BIG! - cooing, "Hey baby, turn over. Wanna check ya out! Just be a sec, and then we'll get to the main event, y'know?" But there faces kept flickering, and I knew that things just weren't what they seemed. Oh, no. Not by a long shot! So, I took the blond by the hair, and said, "Oh, yeah bitch?!? I got your examination right HERE!." And I grabbed that big ole sex toy and jammed it up the redhead's wet hole while I blasted a... Hey. What happened? Got distracted there. What was your question?

Posted by: Redacted at July 13, 2013 12:02 PM (S+kVz)

222 Another appropriate tune - Calling Occupants of Interplanetary Craft - http://tinyurl.com/3uq3wry

Posted by: Dodge Prefect, Ford's little brother at July 13, 2013 12:04 PM (0HooB)

223 A photon checks into a hotel, and the porter asks if he has any luggage. The photon replies: "No, I'm traveling light." *** The bartender says, "We don't serve your kind here." A faster-than-light neutrino enters a bar.

Posted by: En Raged at July 13, 2013 12:04 PM (QZvo7)

224

I think it will be hung because some of these ladies will be ruled by emotion or fear of condemnation of their community, but at least one lady will see there is reasonable double and refuse to be bullied.

One of the lawyers said today that the law has to work for even the most unpopular among us.

Posted by: Typical white cracka at July 13, 2013 12:11 PM (uw9jr)

225 oops, wrong thread - my apologies.

Posted by: Typical white cracka at July 13, 2013 12:12 PM (uw9jr)

226 I was abducted by aliens once. After several hours of questioning and anal probing they let me go.

I didn't understand their questions because I don't speak Spanish.

Posted by: Lucky Pierre at July 13, 2013 12:40 PM (5fSr7)

227 Dude? Really? You gotta stay away from that Acapulco Gold, Dude.

Posted by: georgeofthedesert at July 13, 2013 12:44 PM (Eq2MX)

228 I hope those space monkeys fixed Davis' knee.

Posted by: Hepcat at July 13, 2013 12:45 PM (VjOAg)

229 Yes. And took photos. Serious, you guys.

Posted by: conanthelibertarian at July 13, 2013 12:51 PM (jTMUq)

230 Did the aliens speak Spanish?

Posted by: Bufalobob at July 13, 2013 01:05 PM (DAwL2)

231 They aren't real, distances to far. Besides, with cameras being almost ubiquitous now (cell phone) even in the third/fourth world, there would be an increase of photos to back up the BS. But this has not happened. If the earth is one inch around than the closest star is 40,000 miles away on that scale. (first chapter of A Brief History of the World, H. G. Wells)

Posted by: jrcobbstr at July 13, 2013 01:06 PM (8CAan)

232 About 20 years ago one night I saw a trio of closely spaced lights in an equilateral triangle traverse the entire sky, from horizon to horizon, in about ten seconds. They were slightly slower than a shooting star, but much much faster than any human aircraft I've ever witnessed before or since. Also: Completely silent. Saw it with a friend. We estimated that it must have traveled about 60 miles in those ten seconds. Still have no idea what it was.

Posted by: zombie at July 13, 2013 02:16 PM (+cx5n)

233 My case against UFO/space aliens:

The speed of light is 670,616,629 mph. (It takes sunlight 8 minutes to reach Earth.)

The nearest star (beside ours) is 4 Light Years away. [670,616,629 miles * 35,064 hours]

The Milky Way Galaxy is ~100,000 Light Years across and we are on the outer edge of it.

And then there is this aspect from thebigview.com/spacetime/timedilation.html

There are two twin brothers. On their thirtieth birthday, one of the brothers goes on a space journey in a superfast rocket that travels at 99% of the speed of light. The space traveller stays on his journey for precisely one year, whereupon he returns to Earth on his 31st birthday. On Earth, however, seven years have elapsed, so his twin brother is 37 years old at the time of his arrival. This is due to the fact that time is stretched by factor 7 at approx. 99% of the speed of light, which means that in the space travellerÂ’s reference frame, one year is equivalent to seven years on earth.

The nearest habitable planet that has been found is 12 light years away and there is no detectable sign of life.

Posted by: CozMark at July 13, 2013 02:18 PM (P0AbR)

234 I saw the black boomerang too, about 20 years ago. Thought it would be declassified by now, whatever it is.

Posted by: Dr. Varno at July 13, 2013 02:25 PM (TOSyM)

235 Have you ever encountered a UFO? Yes, on the Pima Indian Reservation just east of Scottsdale, AZ, during a total lunar eclipse, possibly May 25, 1975 (looking at a list of total lunar eclipses in the 1970's and reconstructing my life based on the dates). With two friends, all of us sober, observing the lunar eclipse on the reservation because it was dark. At totality, when the moon was blood-red, we saw a UFO descend about 1/4 mile from us, as well as we could estimate. It had blue and green lights pulsating in a circle around the bottom as it descended. We saw it beginning about 45 degrees above the horizon and watched it descend until the lights cut and it disappeared. We were freaked, but started looking for it. Found a small building possibly housing a water well head with a 25-watt bulb above the door. Other than that, there was NOTHING there. There was no electricity on the reservation back then, no lights other than that bulb. Don't know about now. We began to get weirded out, and left in a hurry. When I got home in the middle of the night, I called Luke Air Force Base near Phoenix and reported it. We went out the next day to look for any sign of what we saw but there was nothing. All we could figure was that it went into the ground. Years later, the movie Coccoon came out. When I saw the ship in that movie, I thought, "Someone else has seen one of them, too!" It was eerily similar.

Posted by: MathMom at July 13, 2013 02:59 PM (9vYhK)

236

Yes, my wife and I saw one over South San Francisco as we were driving in from SFO. There was a small article in the paper the next day. The people who don't think there are UFOs are nuts.

Posted by: Banjo at July 13, 2013 04:02 PM (lMtGt)

237 Question: Have you ever encountered a UFO? Answer: Yes, every weekend at the Home Depot I encounter all of the Unidentified Foreign Objects that are apparently invisible to both the Border Patrol and ICE....

Posted by: Manolo at July 13, 2013 04:11 PM (PttbO)

238 I have over 10,000 flying hours and I have seen many a UFO, one of which I am sure was Schrodinger's cat.

Posted by: Capt. Craig at July 13, 2013 04:33 PM (Sw1nh)

239 I am not smarter than Enrico Fermi, and I have a hunch none of you fuckers are either.

Posted by: Ray Van Dune at July 13, 2013 05:34 PM (qIFL7)

240 BFD. Sam Cassell is a muthaf*ckin' space alien.

Posted by: OxyCon at July 13, 2013 06:53 PM (TOoo4)

241 I Googled some non-Polaroids. Some of the pics are interesting, anyway. http://www.ufocasebook.com/bestufopictures16.html

Posted by: Jobey at July 13, 2013 10:02 PM (LZZOx)

242 Have you ever encountered a UFO? Regrettably they over flew my airspace.

Posted by: I R A Darth Aggie ® at July 14, 2013 06:25 AM (1hM1d)

243 153 I wonder why the aliens never abduct sheep.

No need. Democrats go willingly.

Posted by: Kim at July 14, 2013 12:25 PM (ICqvM)

244

Mr. Baron Davis remarks that the aliens dropped him off in Montebello, California at 4:00 am. Montelbello is not a safe place for an African American in the middle of the night. Thankfully Mr Davis had the presence of mind to get in his car and drive home. Should either the police or local gang members encountered him stumbling around the streets in a daze, it might have ended either with his arrest or a horrible beating.

Posted by: Huntington Park at July 14, 2013 12:26 PM (IwLRW)

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