Ace of Spades HQ

April 06, 2013

Karnak the Great - ask anything thread [Purp]
— Open Blogger

Free mind reading, clairvoyance, crystal therapy, auras read, Nostradamus like predictions, and all other various and sundry prognostications. Warning, you'll probably get what you pay for.

Posted by: Open Blogger at 10:28 AM | Comments (328)
Post contains 40 words, total size 1 kb.

1 Hallelujah. New thread smell!

Posted by: I lurk, therefore I am at April 06, 2013 10:28 AM (PNJll)

2 first!

Posted by: JeremiadBullfrog at April 06, 2013 10:29 AM (Y5I9o)

3 damn!

Posted by: JeremiadBullfrog at April 06, 2013 10:29 AM (Y5I9o)

4 (Cues Nelson laugh)

Posted by: I lurk, therefore I am at April 06, 2013 10:29 AM (PNJll)

5 Damn Purp, it was gettin' rank down there. What took you so long?

Posted by: Sean Bannion at April 06, 2013 10:29 AM (pVT8C)

6 Who put the bop in the Bop Shoo Bop Shoo Bop?

Posted by: HeatherRadish™ eating cookies at April 06, 2013 10:30 AM (hO8IJ)

7 I would ask if da cubbies will win the World Series but of course the answer will be YES

Posted by: Navycopjoe at April 06, 2013 10:31 AM (j8JLb)

8 Darn it we were just getting interesting on the last thread.

Posted by: Elizabethe on the damn phone at April 06, 2013 10:31 AM (qPCAa)

9 When will there be a moron meetup at the Jersey shore?

Posted by: Trainer @ LIB at April 06, 2013 10:31 AM (X9npt)

10 How do we keep the Democrats from taking the House in 2014?

Posted by: Soothsayer at April 06, 2013 10:31 AM (eHNxr)

11 I've noticed that when I don't shower for a couple of days, there's a strange smell everywhere I go. Why is that?

Posted by: Harrison Bergeron at April 06, 2013 10:32 AM (JQuNB)

12 What's eating Gilbert Grape?

Posted by: zsasz at April 06, 2013 10:32 AM (MMC8r)

13 9 When will there be a moron meetup at the Jersey shore? Me an da Situation will be dere next week sweetie! C'mon out!

Posted by: Snooki at April 06, 2013 10:32 AM (pVT8C)

14 This will be the last thread of the day.

Posted by: Fucking Nostradamus at April 06, 2013 10:32 AM (fsLdt)

15 Does this dress make my butt look big?

Posted by: Your Wife at April 06, 2013 10:33 AM (MMC8r)

16 At least two of the gay NFL-ers will be kickers. Or Dolphins.

Posted by: Lincolntf at April 06, 2013 10:33 AM (ZshNr)

17 Here's my question:

My daughter lives on three acres with a pond, full of old oaks and pines. It's knee deep in squirrels and geese. I step in goose poop all the time, but I have yet to step in squirrel poop to my knowledge. I do not know what it looks like. Does anyone know how I can identify the squirrel poop and avoid it in the future?

Thank you in advance.

Posted by: mama winger at April 06, 2013 10:33 AM (P6QsQ)

18 How do we keep the Democrats from taking the House in 2014?

Moar and better fraud.

Posted by: Karnak at April 06, 2013 10:33 AM (/gHaE)

19 Oh great and powerful Karnak, where did I leave my keys?

Posted by: Javelina Bomb at April 06, 2013 10:33 AM (Wf+X1)

20 How much wood would a woodchuck chuck?

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at April 06, 2013 10:33 AM (pxDth)

21 Why did the passengers on the SS Minnow take so much stuff with them on a 3-hour tour?

Posted by: I lurk, therefore I am at April 06, 2013 10:33 AM (PNJll)

22 Mama since my car was covered in it I can tell you its like little brown chocolate chips.

Posted by: Fucking Nostradamus at April 06, 2013 10:34 AM (fsLdt)

23 How come no one noticed when suddenly Darrin's a whole different guy?

Posted by: zsasz at April 06, 2013 10:34 AM (MMC8r)

24 Does anyone know how I can identify the squirrel poop and avoid it in the future?

Thank you in advance.

Posted by: mama winger at April 06, 2013 02:33 PM (P6QsQ)

*******

It sounds like you are already avoiding it quite nicely.

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at April 06, 2013 10:34 AM (pxDth)

25 So when do the answers start?

Posted by: Harrison Bergeron at April 06, 2013 10:34 AM (JQuNB)

26 probability that the homosexual players are black?

Posted by: Soothsayer at April 06, 2013 10:35 AM (wAng0)

27 532 Elizabethe Never read him, though I suspect I would. Big fan of the back to the land movement, Chesterton, and others. *sigh* dreams of what could have been. Always wanted my own small homestead. But-- hopeless.

Posted by: HoPeless at April 06, 2013 10:35 AM (qHQCW)

O Great Karnak,

Will we be getting a Dictionary of Leftist Terms any time soon?

It is getting really hard to understand what words mean anymore...what with all the new revisions and redefinings.

Posted by: wheatie at April 06, 2013 10:35 AM (5kUwW)

29 Here's my ? Oh great Karnak, will my wife and daughter ever stop walking all over me?

Posted by: Navycopjoe at April 06, 2013 10:35 AM (j8JLb)

30 Always expect the worst, and you will never be dissapointed, often right, and sometimes pleasantly surprised.

Posted by: Cato at April 06, 2013 10:35 AM (92lsI)

31 Does anyone know how I can identify the squirrel poop and avoid it in the future?

The geese are eating the squirrel poop. Doh

Posted by: Karnak at April 06, 2013 10:35 AM (/gHaE)

It says in the manuel that men who molest boys are 100% straightÂ® why is that? Is it because

a) when 'praves are accused they say no way, I'm straight then when they're convicted the clerk forgets to uncheck the box; or

b) because they homosexual community is universally madeup of ghandian-type pacifists?

Posted by: puzzled in pokipsie at April 06, 2013 10:35 AM (Kxz3Y)

33 How many chins would a chinchilla chill, if a chinchilla could chill chins?

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at April 06, 2013 10:35 AM (pxDth)

34 Little brown chocolate chips, eh? So that's why I've never stepped in it. The grandkids probably ate it all.

Posted by: mama winger at April 06, 2013 10:36 AM (P6QsQ)

35 Does anyone know how I can identify the squirrel poop and avoid it in the future? It's not the taste, it's the texture.

Posted by: zsasz at April 06, 2013 10:36 AM (MMC8r)

36 where did I leave my keys?

Probably the same place you left the bottle.

Posted by: Karnak at April 06, 2013 10:37 AM (/gHaE)

37 what's funny is that knows there were two Darrens, but not two Mrs Kravitzes

Posted by: Soothsayer at April 06, 2013 10:37 AM (eHNxr)

38 Yay! New thread.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at April 06, 2013 10:37 AM (piMMO)

39 How many chins would a chinchilla chill, if a chinchilla could chill chins? Ray.....Ray it's just a joke man. You'll never get the answer.

Posted by: Fucking Nostradamus at April 06, 2013 10:37 AM (fsLdt)

40 34 ?????? Future packer fans? *****runs away laughing*****

Posted by: Navycopjoe at April 06, 2013 10:38 AM (j8JLb)

41 Hmmmmmm, I don't know about race. Or really anything else. Players can't generally choose where they live or I'd say San Fran, Miami, maybe New York/New England would be likely spots to produce one of Goodell's Four. Can't wait for the Hallmark movie about the announcement.

Posted by: Lincolntf at April 06, 2013 10:38 AM (ZshNr)

42
"Igloo."

"What do you use to keep your ig from falling off?"

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at April 06, 2013 10:38 AM (kdS6q)

43 Oh great Karnak, will my wife and daughter ever stop walking all over me?

Not until you stop napping in front of the fridge.

Posted by: Karnak at April 06, 2013 10:38 AM (/gHaE)

44 how in God's name did that no brain lying sack of golf balls get re-elected?

Posted by: mallfly at April 06, 2013 10:38 AM (bJm7W)

45 Will Barack ever be completely mine?

Posted by: Reggie Love at April 06, 2013 10:38 AM (cHRDM)

46 Where did I leave my car keys?

Posted by: Jersey_Joe74 at April 06, 2013 10:38 AM (fcSLS)

47 Like little bitty tan Hersheys kisses.

Posted by: Fucking Nostradamus at April 06, 2013 10:39 AM (fsLdt)

48 probability that the homosexual players are black? It'd be hilarious if they're all Packers.

Posted by: zsasz at April 06, 2013 10:39 AM (MMC8r)

49 Prediction: This thread gets stomped by a Magic 8 Ball thread.

Posted by: rickl at April 06, 2013 10:39 AM (sdi6R)

50 Not to get too gross, but wouldn't the gay NFL players be Packers?

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at April 06, 2013 10:39 AM (pxDth)

51 I have a real question. Tony Nelson and Roger Healey were both astronauts at Cape Kennedy and same rank. Why was Capt/Maj Nelson's uniform blue and Capt/Maj Healey's uniform gray?

Posted by: Soothsayer at April 06, 2013 10:40 AM (0w+w3)

52 I missed it by () this much zsasz!

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at April 06, 2013 10:40 AM (pxDth)

53 49 Prediction: This thread gets stomped by a Magic 8 Ball thread. Signs point to "yes."

Posted by: Harrison Bergeron at April 06, 2013 10:40 AM (JQuNB)

54 45 Will Barack ever be completely mine?

He's all yours right now bro. Michelle thinks she's a single parent.

Posted by: Karnak at April 06, 2013 10:40 AM (/gHaE)

55 So if you post like a moron on Twitter, will twitter ban you?

Posted by: Jake in Idaho at April 06, 2013 10:40 AM (zzeVM)

56 This will be the last thread of the day. *** Ye of little faith.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at April 06, 2013 10:41 AM (piMMO)

57 Why won't the NBA and college b-ball do anything about the fact that often the last few minutes of a game takes upwards of 20 minutes to play?

Posted by: I lurk, therefore I am at April 06, 2013 10:41 AM (PNJll)

58 Like little bitty tan Hersheys kisses.

--------------

That settles it. They have a one year old boy. Now I know why his face is always dirty.

Posted by: mama winger at April 06, 2013 10:41 AM (P6QsQ)

59 So if you post like a moron on Twitter, will twitter ban you? *** It seems that not much, outside of spamming someone, will get you banned.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at April 06, 2013 10:41 AM (piMMO)

60 Will we be getting a Dictionary of Leftist Terms any time soon?

It is getting really hard to understand what words mean anymore...what with all the new revisions and redefinings.

Posted by: wheatie at April 06, 2013 02:35 PM (5kUwW)

--------------------------------------------

You can get the dictionary at.........well, they just revised it. Okay, now. You can get the........damn. More changes. So you may aquire this dictionary........shit. They've taken it down again for re-definement.

Read "1984". You'll find what you're looking for.

Posted by: Kanak at April 06, 2013 10:42 AM (O3K8c)

61 the homo players will not be black I guarantee it. White/foreign.

Posted by: Soothsayer at April 06, 2013 10:42 AM (oxIUw)

If a squirrel poops in the woods and mama winger doesn't see it, does it really make a noise?

(or something like that)

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at April 06, 2013 10:43 AM (pxDth)

63 None of you military types have an answer for me??

Posted by: Soothsayer at April 06, 2013 10:43 AM (uff2W)

64 Does shame ever wash off?

Posted by: Brisco_County at April 06, 2013 10:43 AM (B0Zzk)

65 If a squirrel poops in the woods and mama winger doesn't see it, does it really make a noise?

-------------

Apparently not if my grandson eats it first.

Posted by: mama winger at April 06, 2013 10:44 AM (P6QsQ)

66 It seems that not much, outside of spamming someone, will get you banned. Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at April 06, 2013 02:41 PM (piMMO) can you define 'spamming' on twitter?

Posted by: Jake in Idaho at April 06, 2013 10:44 AM (zzeVM)

67 re uniforms in Q 51: because the producers were not completely finished making the switch from black + white to color

Posted by: mallfly at April 06, 2013 10:44 AM (bJm7W)

Will I ever get a life?

(oh, wait a sec, I'm posting about squirrel poop on a nice Saturday afternoon. Guess I answered my own question)

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at April 06, 2013 10:44 AM (pxDth)

69 I had a dream last night where Barack was on my kitchen with myself a a group of my friends and family. There was a table with a bunch if food ingredients layed out. Obama asked me what I'd put together with those ingredients with only 60 seconds. I said I'd mix the curly pasta ( already cooked ) with a jar of artichoke hearts. I also dreamed that Nintendo announced Pikmin 3 would have online play.

Posted by: Serious Cat at April 06, 2013 10:44 AM (4yFKY)

70 Please count all the ways I'm going to stompy certain people for continually bringing up a certain nature story.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Take us away. at April 06, 2013 10:45 AM (Gk3SS)

71 Maybe people would buy chocolate covered squirrel poo?

Posted by: Milo Minderbinder at April 06, 2013 10:45 AM (/gHaE)

72 how about an update on Menendez? was that anything? or really just a frame up?

Posted by: occam at April 06, 2013 10:45 AM (Vns6X)

73
Why was Capt/Maj Nelson's uniform blue and Capt/Maj Healey's uniform gray?
Posted by: Soothsayer

Different branches. Nelson was Air Force and I think Healy was Navy.

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at April 06, 2013 10:45 AM (kdS6q)

74 What the hell kind of gun thread is this?

Posted by: Harrison Bergeron at April 06, 2013 10:45 AM (JQuNB)

75 None of you military types have an answer for me??

Posted by: Soothsayer at April 06, 2013 02:43 PM (uff2W)

*********

Maj Healy was a manatee?

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at April 06, 2013 10:46 AM (pxDth)

76 How many fingers can Cuomo take in his ass?

Posted by: Whatev at April 06, 2013 10:47 AM (A7Wh1)

77 What the hell kind of gun thread is this? Posted by: Harrison Bergeron at April 06, 2013 02:45 PM (JQuNB) I think the 'official' one is on Sundays' but it is not like we follow the rules so much

Posted by: Jake in Idaho at April 06, 2013 10:47 AM (zzeVM)

78 Okay, Karnak. Japan looks like it's going to go kablooie first (doubling the money supply by the end of next year-genius).

How long before the blowing up is generally acknowledged?

Posted by: Methos at April 06, 2013 10:47 AM (hO9ad)

79 Do women find it unsexy when guys prattle on with Monty Python quotes?

Posted by: Dr. Varno at April 06, 2013 10:48 AM (/wfB0)

80
Internet says -- Healy was Army.

However, the earlier answer on the transition to color TV is probably acurate.

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at April 06, 2013 10:48 AM (kdS6q)

81 Will I be pretty, will I be rich, what will become of me?

Posted by: Ned Flanders at April 06, 2013 10:49 AM (8/DeP)

82 Is it safe?

Posted by: Herr Doktor Szell at April 06, 2013 10:49 AM (/wfB0)

83 Different branches. Nelson was Air Force and I think Healy was Navy. I never noticed it until recently. Navy, eh? Did we ever have Marine pilot astronauts?

Posted by: Soothsayer at April 06, 2013 10:49 AM (eHNxr)

84 The Ds will only take the house if we run on crank rape theory and not being witches.

Posted by: Beagle at April 06, 2013 10:49 AM (sOtz/)

85 I lurk, I wish they would start calling travelling again. Watcch how many times you see a guy be in the air when he catches a pass comes down right foot then left and proceeds to use his left foot as his pivot foot.

Posted by: teej at April 06, 2013 10:50 AM (ma+gB)

86 Will I be pretty, will I be rich, what will become of me? Posted by: Ned Flanders at April 06, 2013 02:49 PM (8/DeP) LOL!!!!!!

Posted by: elizabethe at April 06, 2013 10:50 AM (qPCAa)

87 What the hell kind of gun thread is this?

Its a stimulating conversation about the incredibly shoddy workmanship of the Spreeworks produced wartime Walther PP's.

Some say it was due to production pressure of wartime, others argue that it was because Spreewerk built fucking ships and their idea of precision was anything within 1/4"

Posted by: Karnak at April 06, 2013 10:50 AM (/gHaE)

See the thing that bugs me about the Cubs is if you haven 't won a championship in over A HUNDRED FREAKING YEARS.....you just flat out are not trying.

Cubs fans are enablers.

Posted by: eleven at April 06, 2013 10:50 AM (fsLdt)

89 Did we ever have Marine pilot astronauts? Glenn.

Posted by: zsasz at April 06, 2013 10:50 AM (MMC8r)

90 do those cartoons I've seen of Peter from "Family Guy" having sex with Marge Simpson have any basis in reality?

Posted by: mallfly at April 06, 2013 10:50 AM (bJm7W)

91 How come cheetahs never prosper?

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at April 06, 2013 10:50 AM (pxDth)

92 then what color would be Navy? not white, right? gotta be blue, no?

Posted by: Soothsayer at April 06, 2013 10:51 AM (QVBzT)

93 Cubs fans are enablers.

Posted by: eleven at April 06, 2013 02:50 PM (fsLdt)

------------

It's a sickness. I've been suffering with it since 1958. Ernie Banks infected me.

Posted by: mama winger at April 06, 2013 10:52 AM (P6QsQ)

94 Talking about squirrels reminds me, Christmas Eve a squirrel came down my chimney into the house. I had to chase him down, beat him with a broom, then grabbed him and tossed him outside. Two days later, my grandsons were looking at their presents and I said to them, "Must be nice, the only thing Santa dropped down my chimney was a squirrel.'

Posted by: illegally posting anonymously on the internet [/i] at April 06, 2013 10:52 AM (feFL6)

95 @91 Too much lion.

Posted by: Beagle at April 06, 2013 10:52 AM (sOtz/)

96 85 I lurk, I wish they would start calling travelling again.
Watcch how many times you see a guy be in the air when he catches a pass comes down right foot then left and proceeds to use his left foot as his pivot foot.

Posted by: teej at April 06, 2013 02:50 PM (ma+gB)

It's always fun to watch the first game or two the U.S. plays in world championship/Olympic tournaments when players get constantly nailed for travelling by foreign refs and usually aren't happy about it.

Posted by: I lurk, therefore I am at April 06, 2013 10:52 AM (PNJll)

97 I'll bet all this time y'all thought Tony and Roger were both Air Force. Eh? Yeaaaaahhhh.

Posted by: Soothsayer at April 06, 2013 10:53 AM (vuIm8)

98 Kim Jong-Un. Ahmadinejad. Pope Francis.

What say you Karnak?

Posted by: Craig Poe at April 06, 2013 10:53 AM (BVkEs)

42.

Just in case anyone asks that particular question.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit at April 06, 2013 10:53 AM (+z4pE)

100 can you define 'spamming' on twitter? **** Sending lots of tweets to folks who don't follow you. Sometimes, like yesterday, somebody I didn't recognize commented on one of my tweets and usually that's no big deal, but when I checked his profile, he had no followers and wasn't following anyone else. I tagged him as spam.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at April 06, 2013 10:54 AM (piMMO)

101 Answer - Texas Longhorn, Budweiser, Truman Capote.

Question - Name a steer, a beer, and a queer.

Posted by: Raxter54 at April 06, 2013 10:54 AM (ZtJfR)

102 Why am I here on the computer instead of mowing my lawn?

Posted by: Soona at April 06, 2013 10:54 AM (O3K8c)

103

If you people are going to start punning I'm breaking out the agonizer.

Serially.

Posted by: eleven at April 06, 2013 10:54 AM (fsLdt)

104 Mowing your lawn? We still have snow.

Posted by: mama winger at April 06, 2013 10:55 AM (P6QsQ)

105 I tagged him as spam. Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at April 06, 2013 02:54 PM (piMMO) got it, thanks

Posted by: Jake in Idaho at April 06, 2013 10:55 AM (zzeVM)

106 I think they loosened the travelling rules in college a while ago. Allowing one more step by basically not counting the first one if I remember right. Might just have been a de-emphasizing of the rule, not a formal change. I'll look it up.

Posted by: Lincolntf at April 06, 2013 10:55 AM (ZshNr)

107 Red heads. Dangerous temper because of their hair or because its already expected of them to have a temper, most people allow for it?

Posted by: Dave C at April 06, 2013 10:56 AM (fXYGT)

108

A: Doo-wacka-doo-wacka-doo

Q: What do you see when you are tracking wackas?

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at April 06, 2013 10:56 AM (pxDth)

109 I knew a gay NFL-er but I think he played tackle.

Posted by: Dr. Varno at April 06, 2013 10:56 AM (/wfB0)

110 They don't have majors in the Navy, do they?

Posted by: Little Miss Spellcheck at April 06, 2013 10:56 AM (a5ljo)

111
"Sissss, Boooom, Baaaaah!"

"Describe the sound you hear when a sheep blows up."

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at April 06, 2013 10:56 AM (kdS6q)

112 110 They don't have majors in the Navy, do they?

Posted by: Little Miss Spellcheck at April 06, 2013 02:56 PM (a5ljo)

Nope. A Major in the other branches = Lieutenant Commander

Posted by: I lurk, therefore I am at April 06, 2013 10:58 AM (PNJll)

113 yeah, that's right too no rank of major in the Navy

Posted by: Soothsayer at April 06, 2013 10:58 AM (0w+w3)

114

Seriously though....."Poop Deck".

What's that all about?

Posted by: eleven at April 06, 2013 10:59 AM (fsLdt)

115 but they have majors in the Marine Corps?

Posted by: Soothsayer at April 06, 2013 10:59 AM (vuIm8)

116

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at April 06, 2013 02:56 PM (kdS6q)

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at April 06, 2013 10:59 AM (pxDth)

117 what I always wanted to know is whether Major Nelson and/or Major Healy ever did it with Maryann or Ginger before they got off the island. I must have missed that episode.

Posted by: mallfly at April 06, 2013 10:59 AM (bJm7W)

118 *Holds up envelope*

White. White. And white.

*Rips open envelope*

What is NBC's New Primetime Lineup?

Posted by: Carnac the Magnificent at April 06, 2013 11:00 AM (WM+rJ)

119

--no rank of major in the Navy--

just major clusterfucks

Posted by: USS Diversity at April 06, 2013 11:00 AM (c/58R)

120 98 Kim Jong-Un. Ahmadinejad. Pope Francis.

The first two might need some of that 3,000,000 SPF sunscreen. The pope probably not

Posted by: Karnak at April 06, 2013 11:00 AM (/gHaE)

121 Why was Capt/Maj Nelson's uniform blue and Capt/Maj Healey's uniform gray? Healey was Army. Corps of Engineers IIRC

Posted by: Sean Bannion at April 06, 2013 11:01 AM (pVT8C)

122

What's with all the black holes in the universe?

Posted by: Soona at April 06, 2013 11:01 AM (O3K8c)

123 A: Conan the Barbarian, Buffalo Bill (from Silence of the Lambs), and Tom Brady Q: Name a slayer, a flayer, and a gay NFL player.

Posted by: naturalfake at April 06, 2013 11:01 AM (G9qZk)

124 NASA's current Administrator, Bolden, was a Marine pilot too.

Posted by: Waterhouse at April 06, 2013 11:01 AM (24zYZ)

125 98 Kim Jong-Un. Ahmadinejad. Pope Francis.

What say you Karnak?

Posted by: Craig Poe at April 06, 2013 02:53 PM (BVkEs)

********

Name a Nork, a dork and a....er.....pope?

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at April 06, 2013 11:02 AM (pxDth)

126 Where do whores go?

Posted by: Tyrion Lannister at April 06, 2013 11:02 AM (TZ7eX)

127
Re: Maj. Healey

Pic: http://tinyurl.com/c87e2nl

In Army greens. Corps of Engineers insignia and Aviator Wings. Probably don't see that too often.

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at April 06, 2013 11:02 AM (kdS6q)

128 Is it true that you can contract STDs from fellating girlfriends, either plastic or real? I'm asking for a friend.

Posted by: Palin Steele at April 06, 2013 11:02 AM (cHRDM)

129 I knew a gay NFL-er but I think he played tackle. *** I still can't believe THIS didn't get more play last year. God knows I sarc'd about it enough here. http://bit.ly/q4DkJ8

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at April 06, 2013 11:02 AM (piMMO)

130 To 116 - Air Force, Army, Marines have same rank structure - 2nd Lt, 1st Lt, Cpt, Maj, LTC, Col, then generals. Navy/Coast Guard has Ensign, Lt JG, Lt, Lt Commander, Commander, Capt, then admirals...

Posted by: Raxter54 at April 06, 2013 11:03 AM (ZtJfR)

131 122 What's with all the black holes in the universe?

---

Boing...

Posted by: Barky McFucknut at April 06, 2013 11:03 AM (BVkEs)

132 I always wished I was Major Nelson. I would have ridden Jeannie around more that Roy Rogers rode Trigger.

Posted by: Truck Monkey at April 06, 2013 11:03 AM (jucos)

133 Why is it that some people think that Moses built an ark and Noah parted the Red Sea?

Posted by: illegally posting anonymously on the internet [/i] at April 06, 2013 11:03 AM (feFL6)

134 A: Inka Dinka doo. Q: What gets on your Inka Dinka if you leave it out all night.

Posted by: Sean Bannion at April 06, 2013 11:03 AM (pVT8C)

135 Where do whores go?

In through the back door with the cleaning staff.

Posted by: The Whitehouse at April 06, 2013 11:03 AM (/gHaE)

136 Is it possible to kill a polar bear with a real hockey stick?

Posted by: Timothy Treadwell at April 06, 2013 11:03 AM (vpQ1M)

137 Speaking of Healey, Lena Headey (close enough) is out of cash. Time for an enterprising Moron to move in and score Leonidas' wife.

Posted by: Waterhouse at April 06, 2013 11:04 AM (24zYZ)

138 In Army greens. Corps of Engineers insignia and Aviator Wings. Probably don't see that too often.

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at April 06, 2013 03:02 PM (kdS6q)

*******

What? You never heard of a bridge built with a flying buttress?

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at April 06, 2013 11:04 AM (pxDth)

139 115
but they have majors in the Marine Corps?

Posted by: Soothsayer at April 06, 2013 02:59 PM (vuIm

Yes. The officer ranks for the Marines are the same as the Army and Air Force.

Posted by: I lurk, therefore I am at April 06, 2013 11:04 AM (PNJll)

140 Should I include my AoHSQ commenting as a job qualification on my new resume? I'm applying for San Francisco Garbage Inspector Trainee.

Posted by: Cicero, Semiautomatic Assault Commenter at April 06, 2013 11:05 AM (vpQ1M)

141

Bannion, you just dated yourself something terrible.

Even I remember that.

Goodnight, Mrs. Calabash, wherever you are.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit at April 06, 2013 11:05 AM (+z4pE)

142 In Army greens. Corps of Engineers insignia and Aviator Wings. Probably don't see that too often. Prior to 1983 it was very common

Posted by: Sean Bannion at April 06, 2013 11:05 AM (pVT8C)

143 Is it true that you can contract STDs from fellating girlfriends, either plastic or real? I'm asking for a friend.

The plastic is safe unless you bought it used.

Posted by: Karnak at April 06, 2013 11:05 AM (/gHaE)

144
BTW - Maj. Healey's girlfriend for a couple of episodes was a very young Farrah Fawcett.

Good job, Rodge!

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at April 06, 2013 11:05 AM (kdS6q)

145 Is it possible that Algore doesn't know shit?

Posted by: Soona at April 06, 2013 11:06 AM (O3K8c)

146

Jimmy Carter, Barack Obama and the Great Depression.

Name three things that set the country back economically for decades and were barely distinguishable from each other.

Posted by: Gmac - Waiting for the revolution at April 06, 2013 11:06 AM (IanLz)

147 Bannion, you just dated yourself something terrible. Now get off my lawn.

Posted by: Sean Bannion at April 06, 2013 11:06 AM (pVT8C)

148 Yeah Karnak, what was the deal with Farrah Fawcett's pencil eraser nipples?

Posted by: Truck Monkey at April 06, 2013 11:07 AM (jucos)

149 the Navy had grey uniforms during WWII, but not since then. No one else in the American military has had grey uniforms.

The Eye-talian Army had grey uniforms, as does the Bundeswehr. Ain't American, though.

adjust the color on your TV, hombre

Posted by: Rod from Rotterdam at April 06, 2013 11:07 AM (Dll6b)

150 @110 No major. IIRC that is Commander or Lt. Commander level.

Posted by: Beagle at April 06, 2013 11:07 AM (sOtz/)

151 Yeah Karnak, what was the deal with Farrah Fawcett's pencil eraser nipples? *** Is that a complaint?

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at April 06, 2013 11:07 AM (piMMO)

152 Why am I gay, for pay?

Posted by: Bill Clinton at April 06, 2013 11:08 AM (k4bdL)

153 except Army cadets, of course, at West Point

Posted by: Rod from Rotterdam at April 06, 2013 11:08 AM (Dll6b)

154 as always- where the white women at?

Posted by: Jones in CO at April 06, 2013 11:08 AM (8sCoq)

155 Where the little boys at?

Posted by: Harry Reid at April 06, 2013 11:08 AM (k4bdL)

156 145 Is it possible that Algore doesn't know shit?

Yes.

Posted by: A box of rocks at April 06, 2013 11:08 AM (/gHaE)

157 Seriously? All the talk of gay NFLers and NOBODY comments about a Texan hosting a cowboy boots, speedos, and ninja masks party?

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at April 06, 2013 11:08 AM (piMMO)

158 Was I hired solely to be the token black on the Council of Elrond known as MSNBC?

Posted by: Touré a.k.a "Tool" at April 06, 2013 11:09 AM (cHRDM)

159 It's a Manatee Navy, son.

Posted by: Lincolntf at April 06, 2013 11:09 AM (ZshNr)

160 Seems like the Nationals' preferred method of scoring this season will be home runs, if the first week of the season is any indicator.

Posted by: I lurk, therefore I am at April 06, 2013 11:09 AM (PNJll)

161 Why do Anti-gunners use such violent language?

Posted by: Jake in Idaho at April 06, 2013 11:09 AM (zzeVM)

162 132 I always wished I was Major Nelson. I would have ridden Jeannie around more that Roy Rogers rode Trigger. Posted by: Truck Monkey at April 06, 2013 03:03 PM (jucos) Aw, come're big boy. I got something for ya.

Posted by: Agnes Morehead at April 06, 2013 11:09 AM (JQuNB)

163 I can't click links. Who was the player?

Posted by: Lincolntf at April 06, 2013 11:09 AM (ZshNr)

164

Darling 7/yo G-Daughter is coming over, along with 5/mo GGSon (by marriage). I found the baseball gloves, so I can get her started on learning how to play Pitch.

If I had known grandchildren were this much fun, I'd've had them first.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit at April 06, 2013 11:10 AM (+z4pE)

165 Jason Werth..... Yard. They are making up for last night.

Posted by: Truck Monkey at April 06, 2013 11:10 AM (jucos)

166 Remind me: how many Mexicans did I kill?

Posted by: Eric Holder at April 06, 2013 11:10 AM (k4bdL)

167 Seems like the Nationals' preferred method of scoring this season will be home runs, if the first week of the season is any indicator. We saw how that worked for the Yankees last year.

Posted by: Sean Bannion at April 06, 2013 11:10 AM (pVT8C)

168
Farrah Fawcett with Maj Healy:

youtube: http://tinyurl.com/dxzd98x

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at April 06, 2013 11:10 AM (kdS6q)

169 Any tips for how to cope as a busy single mother with a gay husband?

Posted by: Michelle Obama at April 06, 2013 11:11 AM (k4bdL)

170 165 Jason Werth..... Yard. They are making up for last night.

Posted by: Truck Monkey at April 06, 2013 03:10 PM (jucos)

And it appears a large swath of the team wants to look like him too. Beards everywhere!

Posted by: I lurk, therefore I am at April 06, 2013 11:11 AM (PNJll)

171 Does this look infected?

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at April 06, 2013 11:12 AM (s7fL+)

172 Any tips for how to cope as a busy single mother with a gay husband?

Posted by: Michelle Obama at April 06, 2013 03:11 PM (k4bdL)

------------

Well, it does help when you can have your mother and the Secret Service watch your kids for you.

Posted by: mama winger at April 06, 2013 11:12 AM (P6QsQ)

173 May the fleas of a thousand camel jockeys infest your mother's merkin.

Posted by: Carnac the Magnificent at April 06, 2013 11:12 AM (WM+rJ)

174 102 Why am I here on the computer instead of mowing my lawn? Posted by: Soona at April 06, 2013 02:54 PM (O3K8c) Because there are six inches of snow on it?

Posted by: Jean at April 06, 2013 11:12 AM (lPB7F)

175 I just finished cleaning a closet. If anyone is ever in need of Christmas wrapping paper, sticky gift tags, bows, ribbon, gift bags, tape and scissors....just let me know. And I have more in the attic that I haven't gone through yet.

Not sure how all of that will help me when the apocalypse happens but if it will, I'm good to go.

Posted by: Tami[/i] at April 06, 2013 11:13 AM (X6akg)

176 Beaver, Clam, Snapper. What are three resources available to early American settlers.

Posted by: Lincolntf at April 06, 2013 11:13 AM (ZshNr)

177 171 Does this look infected?

Probe it with a hot soldering iron. If doesn't hurt, it was infected.

Posted by: Karnak at April 06, 2013 11:13 AM (/gHaE)

178

Any tips for how to cope as a busy single mother with a gay husband?

Suck it.

Posted by: eleven at April 06, 2013 11:13 AM (fsLdt)

179 Why can't I blink my eyes?

Posted by: Nancy Pelosi at April 06, 2013 11:13 AM (k4bdL)

180 And it appears a large swath of the team wants to look like him too. Beards everywhere! Posted by: I lurk, therefore I am at April 06, 2013 03:11 PM (PNJll) --------------------------------------------------- Yeah. It looks like those that could grow one grew one this year. Harper sports a pretty good beard for a 20 year old kid. They are going to be fun to watch this year.

Posted by: Truck Monkey at April 06, 2013 11:14 AM (jucos)

181 Because there are six inches of snow on it?

Posted by: Jean at April 06, 2013 03:12 PM (lPB7F)

--------------------------------------------

Not here in OK. It's springtime today, and my back yard looks like Cambodia.

Posted by: Soona at April 06, 2013 11:14 AM (O3K8c)

182 Posted by: Jean at April 06, 2013 03:12 PM (lPB7F) 'Bout damn time you showed up. Hit me at the link in my nic so I can send you ever up info.

Posted by: Sean Bannion at April 06, 2013 11:14 AM (pVT8C)

183 179 Why can't I blink my eyes?

You should be more concerned about that lack of reflection in mirrors

Posted by: Karnak at April 06, 2013 11:14 AM (/gHaE)

184 Barbara Eden was married to Michael Ansara, who played among other things, the Blue Djinn, Indians and Hispanics in westerns, and at one point, a Klingon.

Posted by: Dr. Varno at April 06, 2013 11:15 AM (/wfB0)

185 We had snow Thursday, it's seventy and beautiful now. In NC.

Posted by: Lincolntf at April 06, 2013 11:15 AM (ZshNr)

186 Meet up*** Damn iPad ::: mutter ::::

Posted by: Sean Bannion at April 06, 2013 11:15 AM (pVT8C)

187

Posted by: Soothsayer at April 06, 2013 02:40 PM (0w+w3)

Healy was Army corps of engineers

Posted by: Velvet Ambition at April 06, 2013 11:15 AM (R8hU8)

188 Damn Nats up 5-1

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at April 06, 2013 11:15 AM (s7fL+)

189 We had snow Thursday, it's seventy and beautiful now. In NC.

------------

I probably won't see 70 till the Fourth of July.

Posted by: mama winger at April 06, 2013 11:16 AM (P6QsQ)

190 162 I just looked up Agnes Moorehead on Wikipedia, and among other things, she appeared in the movie The Conqueror, which MPPPP discussed the other day. She also died of cancer.

Posted by: rickl at April 06, 2013 11:17 AM (sdi6R)

191 *burns hard drive with soldering iron*

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at April 06, 2013 11:17 AM (s7fL+)

192 Doo-wacka-doo-wacka-doo and Inka Dinka Doo What are Seamus and Sean showing their age? Oh Roger Miller and Jimmy Durante. Now get off my lawn

Posted by: teej at April 06, 2013 11:17 AM (xDlyw)

193 Agnes Morrehead gave me a confusion boner once.

Posted by: eleven at April 06, 2013 11:18 AM (fsLdt)

194 @173 Speaking of merkins, Spartacus uses actual beaver pelts this season it appears. Next they will quit using the blood cannons or whatever the hell that is. In the past people exploded like vampires on True Blood apparently.

Posted by: Beagle at April 06, 2013 11:19 AM (sOtz/)

195 If I have to choose, should I go to Reno to pick up "campaign contributions," or enjoy visit to my secluded ranch, "Boystown"?

Posted by: Harry Reid at April 06, 2013 11:19 AM (k4bdL)

196 God I miss the thread by 45 minutes and its already all the way down here. I have iPhone posting sometimes. In other news, I want one of you to buy me a desktop or a laptop. I'd settle for top of the line, but anything with basic Internet connectivity and Office installed will do.

Posted by: Truman North at April 06, 2013 11:19 AM (7sgTq)

197 I just looked up Agnes Moorehead on Wikipedia, and among other things, she appeared in the movie The Conqueror, which MPPPP discussed the other day. She also died of cancer. Posted by: rickl at April 06, 2013 03:17 PM (sdi6R) ------------------------------------------------------ My Dad's company gave Agnes her last limousine ride and her first ride in a hearse. He got a lot of business taking the rich and powerful down to Rochester MN and the Mayo Clinic.

Posted by: Truck Monkey at April 06, 2013 11:19 AM (jucos)

198 Anyone named Moorehead in the NFL?

Posted by: Lincolntf at April 06, 2013 11:19 AM (ZshNr)

199

O Great Karnak,

Will the RNC ever get a clue?

Posted by: wheatie at April 06, 2013 11:19 AM (5kUwW)

200 I probably won't see 70 till the Fourth of July.

Posted by: mama winger at April 06, 2013 03:16 PM (P6QsQ)

------------------------------------------------

Where do you live? Moosebutt, AK? I remember my first year in Fairbanks, AK it snowed on the last week of May.

Posted by: Soona at April 06, 2013 11:19 AM (O3K8c)

201 Where do you live? Moosebutt, AK?

-----------

Close enough. Wisconsin.

Posted by: mama winger at April 06, 2013 11:20 AM (P6QsQ)

202 Royals playing the Phillies? They doing inter-league play already? Cripes...

Posted by: Raxter54 at April 06, 2013 11:21 AM (ZtJfR)

203 I liked Agnes Moorehead in the Twilight Zone episode "The Invaders". The whole episode had no dialogue, if I remember correctly. And, naturally, a twist ending.

Posted by: Dr. Varno at April 06, 2013 11:21 AM (/wfB0)

204 I think I had a mild case of SAD before I moved South. Or maybe I just fucking hate he cold, anyway, short and mild winters have done wonders for my general outlook on life.

Posted by: Lincolntf at April 06, 2013 11:21 AM (ZshNr)

205 I remember my first year in Fairbanks, AK it snowed on the last week of May.

---------

We have a cabin in the Upper Peninsula. A couple of years ago we were there the second week of June. It snowed.

Posted by: mama winger at April 06, 2013 11:22 AM (P6QsQ)

206 What kind of political tomfoolery caused the Fed to step into Hot Springs, Arkansas, and make just one side, one block, of its main drag a "national park?" Happened in about 1987. Bathhouse row, a group of large buildings erected so as to capture the outflow of the hot springs coming from the hillside behind, for the purpose of commercializing hot baths, was a wreck of failed old businesses and crumbling old structures, all maybe 75 years old by the time of the Fed takeover. Hot Springs first got commercialized as baths in the decades preceeding the Civil War. Buildings got built, torn down, burned down, re-erected as bigger things, everything privately owned, the heyday being maybe the timeframe of the passenger railroads. In the teens and early twenties, Hot Springs became a gambling mecca with illegal gambling, saloons, and whorehouses. Major league baseball teams did spring training there. Looks to me today as if gambling, now legalized with a track and a casino, is the main thing. So why does the Fed own these old bathhouses? Most are in the process of restoration, but a few have businesses going on, two baths operating, one a gallery and a wedding reception venue. All the businesses lease the space from the Fed. Did Faubus do this? Clinton? Why can't it be shut down, due to sequester? Or sold back to someone?

Posted by: The littl shyning man at April 06, 2013 11:22 AM (PH+2B)

207 Agnes Morrehead gave me a confusion boner once. Little known fact, Agnes Moorehead finished her career as a porn actress after changing her name to Agnes Moorewood.

Posted by: Cliff Claven at April 06, 2013 11:22 AM (pVT8C)

208 Healey was Army. Corps of Engineers IIRC He could only fly bridges.

Posted by: zsasz at April 06, 2013 11:22 AM (MMC8r)

209 If I asked what I really wanted to ask, a coblogger would probably break my fingers. Apparently there are some questions that are out of bounds here.

Posted by: Truman North at April 06, 2013 11:23 AM (7sgTq)

210 , I want one of you to buy me a desktop or a laptop. I'd settle for top of the line, but anything with basic Internet connectivity and Office installed will do

Nobody rides for free. Cash, Grass, or Ass.

Posted by: Helen Thomas at April 06, 2013 11:23 AM (/gHaE)

211 Royals blasted em yesterday. Hope they didn't use it all up in that 5th thru 9th inning hitfest

Posted by: teej at April 06, 2013 11:24 AM (SFZtG)

212 Lincoln, we miss the crotchety bastard you used to be.

Posted by: Truman North at April 06, 2013 11:24 AM (7sgTq)

213 Agnes Moorehead's Twilight Zone episode "The Invaders" was one of the very best. It was a one-woman show in which she had no dialogue. A real acting tour-de-force.

Posted by: rickl at April 06, 2013 11:24 AM (sdi6R)

214 Oh, I skied this morning. Fabulous conditions, here in upstate NY's Adirondack mountains. And it is April. Fresh snow overnight. I blame global warming.

Posted by: The littl shyning man at April 06, 2013 11:24 AM (PH+2B)

215 189 We had snow Thursday, it's seventy and beautiful now. In NC.

------------

I probably won't see 70 till the Fourth of July.
Posted by: mama winger at April 06, 2013 03:16 PM
=========
Frost on the grass this a.m., now about 63 deg. Asheville..., and, I have to go mow the stuff.

Posted by: Mike Hammer at April 06, 2013 11:24 AM (aDwsi)

216 Following the reign of the Bush
A cry for Change and new Hope arose
The Army of the Free Shit speaks
And teh SCOAMF destroys the New Country

Quatrain 666

Posted by: Marmodamus at April 06, 2013 11:24 AM (pcgW1)

217 That's an interesting coincidence - after all the talk about Signs in the Ebert thread, it's on AandE right now.

Posted by: Waterhouse at April 06, 2013 11:24 AM (24zYZ)

218

I think I had a mild case of SAD before I moved South. Or maybe I just fucking hate he cold, anyway, short and mild winters have done wonders for my general outlook on life.

dude...tell me about it. I grew up in Syracuse. oy You know what causes SAD? Winter in f-ing May.

Posted by: eleven at April 06, 2013 11:25 AM (fsLdt)

219 the Corps of Engineers wears the same uniform as other soldiers, but the metal buttons on blouses have a different crest.

also, their little red castle flag is gay and looks like something from GOT

Posted by: Rod from Rotterdam at April 06, 2013 11:25 AM (Dll6b)

220 According to what I've read, Agnes Moorehead was NOT a lesbian, but a woman who would read her bible on the set, and the lesbian rumor was started by a catty Paul Lynde. No idea if that's true or not.

Posted by: zsasz at April 06, 2013 11:25 AM (MMC8r)

221 after all the talk about Signs in the Ebert thread, it's on AandE right now.

I predicted that!

Posted by: Nostradamus at April 06, 2013 11:26 AM (/gHaE)

222 203 Dr. Varno Get out of my head.

Posted by: rickl at April 06, 2013 11:26 AM (sdi6R)

223 One positive thing about a liberated Iraq. The archeological teams are back in the country making digs and finding new things. Like a massive complex about 4,000 years old near the city of Ur.

http://tinyurl.com/bvlo3hc

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at April 06, 2013 11:26 AM (7Tyhl)

224 I grew up in and couldn't wait to get out of MN. Talk about SAD. After Christmas you knew you were in for another 4 months of short days and shitty weather. And dirty icy snow piles all over. I about lost my mind.

Posted by: Truck Monkey at April 06, 2013 11:27 AM (jucos)

225 One positive thing about a liberated Iraq. The archeological teams are back in the country making digs and finding new things. Like a massive complex about 4,000 years old near the city of Ur. Nooooooo!!!!! Then them to bury you again!!!

Posted by: The Bamiyan Buddha at April 06, 2013 11:27 AM (pVT8C)

226 A 4,000 year old city is practically contemporary in the Arab world.

Posted by: zsasz at April 06, 2013 11:27 AM (MMC8r)

227 do those cartoons I've seen of Peter from "Family Guy" having sex with Marge Simpson have any basis in reality?

-------------

Only in my spank bank.

Posted by: sluggo at April 06, 2013 11:27 AM (vVv3V)

228 223 One positive thing about a liberated Iraq. The archeological teams are back in the country making digs and finding new things. Like a massive complex about 4,000 years old near the city of Ur.

http://tinyurl.com/bvlo3hc
Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at April 06, 2013 03:26 PM
=============

Ur? I do not care about Ur...,I want to know where Uz wuz :

"There was a man in the land of Uz, whose name was Job;"

Posted by: Mike Hammer at April 06, 2013 11:28 AM (aDwsi)

229 224 I grew up in and couldn't wait to get out of MN. Talk about SAD. After Christmas you knew you were in for another 4 months of short days and shitty weather. And dirty icy snow piles all over. I about lost my mind. Posted by: Truck Monkey at April 06, 2013 03:27 PM (jucos) Try Anchorage.

Posted by: model_1066 at April 06, 2013 11:29 AM (7xPCu)

230 226 A 4,000 year old city is practically contemporary in the Arab world. Posted by: zsasz at April 06, 2013 03:27 PM
=============

The paranoid remnants of a decayed civilization.

Posted by: Mike Hammer at April 06, 2013 11:30 AM (aDwsi)

231 "10 How do we keep the Democrats from taking the House in 2014? " Hide it under the soap

Posted by: Beer Ninja at April 06, 2013 11:31 AM (2tXeA)

232 "Why does the fed own these old bathhouses?" LOL Ignoring that, because they can. When government should be selling land to relieve debt and spur growth it buys land and restricts usage with thousands of regs.

Posted by: Beagle at April 06, 2013 11:31 AM (sOtz/)

233 Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at April 06, 2013 03:26 PM (7Tyhl) wow Anna, that is neat. I am studying Sumer right now with my kids. thanks!

Posted by: elizabethe at April 06, 2013 11:31 AM (qPCAa)

234 Ur, birthplace of Abram who later became Abraham - father of Israel.

Whuz this Uz cuz yose speak uz?

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at April 06, 2013 11:31 AM (7Tyhl)

235 230 226 A 4,000 year old city is practically contemporary in the Arab world. Posted by: zsasz at April 06, 2013 03:27 PM ============= The paranoid remnants of a decayed civilization. Posted by: Mike Hammer at April 06, 2013 03:30 PM (aDwsi) Really, if it wasn't for whitey, would they have electricity or running water now? I seriously doubt it.

Posted by: model_1066 at April 06, 2013 11:32 AM (7xPCu)

236
the lesbian rumor was started by a catty Paul Lynde.
No idea if that's true or not.

Posted by: zsasz

Well, that bet on the Rock Hudson/Jim Nabors marriage did pay to Place....

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at April 06, 2013 11:32 AM (kdS6q)

237 234 Ur, birthplace of Abram who later became Abraham - father of Israel.

Whuz this Uz cuz yose speak uz?
=====================

Job 1:1-5 RSV

Posted by: Mike Hammer at April 06, 2013 11:32 AM (aDwsi)

238

206 What kind of political tomfoolery caused the Fed to step into Hot Springs, Arkansas, and make just one side, one block, of its main drag a "national park?"

There was a "Save Bath House Row" movement going on back in the 80's.

Clinton is from Hot Springs.

He was governor in 1987...so he was probably instrumental in getting that done.

Posted by: wheatie at April 06, 2013 11:33 AM (5kUwW)

239
How do we keep the Democrats from taking the House in 2014?

Turn off the lights and pretend we're not home?

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at April 06, 2013 11:33 AM (kdS6q)

240 Really, if it wasn't for whitey, would they have electricity or running water now? I seriously doubt it. The only asset they have, oil, had no use until western civilization invented one.

Posted by: zsasz at April 06, 2013 11:33 AM (MMC8r)

241 You welcome there elizabethe. Are they going to try and build a ziggurat and attempt to touch the Heavens?

Oh wait we need Gaylord Focker to attempt that. The recovery act and all that.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at April 06, 2013 11:34 AM (7Tyhl)

242 You welcome there elizabethe. Are they going to try and build a ziggurat and attempt to touch the Heavens? lol! NO, I'm rushing through so we can get to the Ancient Greeks and do all the Greek myths. Been looking for an excuse to read/listen to Percy and the Olympians. They are only 5 and 3 anyway, we'll hit the ancients two more times before they are through with school. Probably build the Ziggarut's then. (hmm, maybe you didn't really want a detailed answer to that question....)

Posted by: elizabethe at April 06, 2013 11:36 AM (qPCAa)

243 How do we save the house? The same way you save your own house from gangs of marauding thugs: with guns.

Posted by: Truman North at April 06, 2013 11:36 AM (7sgTq)

244 Metropolis and Catholicism.

Maria, Hel, and the Whore of Babylon. Along with Moloch.
http://catholic-resources.org/Millennium/ApocCinema/metropolis.html

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at April 06, 2013 11:36 AM (7Tyhl)

245 Anthony Foxx positioning for Sec. of Transportation, after arranging $10 million dollar defaulted loan to the DNC Host Committee at Charlotte. Not that there is cronyism in the Obonger administration. Oh..., and I am unaware of any actual experience with transportation..

Posted by: Mike Hammer at April 06, 2013 11:37 AM (aDwsi)

246 The only asset they have, oil, had no use until western civilization invented one. Posted by: zsasz at April 06, 2013 03:33 PM (MMC8r) Shit, and here I thought camels ran on light, sweet crude! LOL

Posted by: model_1066 at April 06, 2013 11:37 AM (7xPCu)

247 Land of Uz, according to Bible Atlas dot org

http://bibleatlas.org/full/uz.htm

Posted by: mama winger at April 06, 2013 11:38 AM (P6QsQ)

248 Q: Why do they call camels the "ships of the desert"? A: Because they're full of arab seamen.

Posted by: Dr. Varno at April 06, 2013 11:39 AM (/wfB0)

249 247 Land of Uz, according to Bible Atlas dot org

================

"Uz was subject to attacks from Sabeans and Chaldeans (Job 1:15,17)."

Those damned Chaldeans were trouble makers.

MAMA,

What part of NC are you in?

Posted by: Mike Hammer at April 06, 2013 11:40 AM (aDwsi)

250 i think Dr Bombay is still alive he was also a great Maj Crittendon on Hogans Heroes

Posted by: Soothsayer at April 06, 2013 11:40 AM (eHNxr)

251 I am NOT re-telling my camel joke..

Posted by: Mike Hammer at April 06, 2013 11:41 AM (aDwsi)

252 I will trump your Ziggurat with one space elevator.

Posted by: Beagle at April 06, 2013 11:41 AM (sOtz/)

253 MAMA,

What part of NC are you in?

--------------

The Wisconsin part.

I don't think I've ever been in NC. I did go to Myrtle Beach once though.

Posted by: mama winger at April 06, 2013 11:41 AM (P6QsQ)

254 Oooops. I must have mis-read a post. Never mind...

Posted by: Mike Hammer at April 06, 2013 11:42 AM (aDwsi)

255 I'm at the Virginia State Science and Enginneering Fair at VMI with my daughter. Only way I will ever get her on the VMI campus . We went to the hotel lobby this morning for breakfast and I felt like Dave bowman in 2001: "my god, it's full of nerds!"

Posted by: Jim in Virginia at April 06, 2013 11:42 AM (ZzEcS)

256 The only asset they have, oil, had no use until western civilization invented one. Posted by: zsasz at April 06, 2013 03:33 PM (MMC8r) They can't even jihad without our stuff: Suicide belt - explosives, detonators, and cell phone from the west, Car bomb - explosives, detonators, cell phone, cars and roads from the west, Hijacking - airplane from the west

Posted by: Jean at April 06, 2013 11:43 AM (lPB7F)

257 For Greek and Roman mythology. A modern and pretty comprehensive plus readable account is The Encyclopedia of Mythology: Gods, Heroes, and Legends of the Greeks and Romans. by Eric Flaum and David Pandy.

Nice hardcover book with plenty of illustrations from Renaissance painters, sculptors, and art from the period as found on pottery.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at April 06, 2013 11:44 AM (7Tyhl)

258 255 I'm at the Virginia State Science and Enginneering Fair at VMI with my daughter. Only way I will ever get her on the VMI campus . We went to the hotel lobby this morning for breakfast and I felt like Dave bowman in 2001: "my god, it's full of nerds!" Posted by: Jim in Virginia at April 06, 2013 03:42 PM
==========

Seeing any neat stuff?

Posted by: Mike Hammer at April 06, 2013 11:44 AM (aDwsi)

259 252 I will trump your Ziggurat with one space elevator. Catapults, man. Wave of the future.

Posted by: Truman North at April 06, 2013 11:44 AM (7sgTq)

260 Jim in Virginia, those VMI guys are weak if at least one of them doesn't score her email address.

Posted by: Jean at April 06, 2013 11:45 AM (lPB7F)

261 Why is there a dead Chinaman in my bedroom?

Posted by: Bill Clinton at April 06, 2013 11:46 AM (k4bdL)

262 Looks like a Moron visited Doc Holliday's grave http://is.gd/MUcBpn

Posted by: Jones in CO at April 06, 2013 11:46 AM (8sCoq)

263 So that is what happened to Jimmy Tre....

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at April 06, 2013 11:46 AM (7Tyhl)

264 259 252 I will trump your Ziggurat with one space elevator.

Catapults, man. Wave of the future. Posted by: Truman North at April 06, 2013 03:44 PM
================

Crossbows...., I know because I have seen the Mad Max films

Posted by: Mike Hammer at April 06, 2013 11:47 AM (aDwsi)

265

"Uz was subject to attacks from Sabeans and Chaldeans (Job 1:15,17)."

--------------------------------------------------

Uz was established by the Gonora tribe. King Rhea was know to pull out small saplings when he pissed.

Posted by: Soona at April 06, 2013 11:47 AM (O3K8c)

266 Okaaaay I'm ready now, may I have my country back.

Posted by: 'Nam Grunt at April 06, 2013 11:48 AM (8Hnjw)

267 The answer is.... A rope, a dope, and a hole full of soap.

Posted by: Karnack's Mayonnaise-Coated Fingers at April 06, 2013 11:48 AM (Lj1jO)

268 Two words: carbon nanotubes.

Posted by: Like "Plastics" in the Graduate at April 06, 2013 11:48 AM (sOtz/)

269 Graphene! Graphene!

Posted by: Mike Hammer at April 06, 2013 11:49 AM (aDwsi)

270 260 College guys better stay away from my eighteen year old daughter. I 'll beat them with my slide rule . Actually I M not worried about her. I pity any guy who messes with her , he has no idea what he is dealing with

Posted by: Jim in Virginia at April 06, 2013 11:49 AM (ZzEcS)

271 Uz was established by the Gonora tribe. Don't sleep with the Gonorean girls.

Posted by: zsasz at April 06, 2013 11:50 AM (MMC8r)

272 268 Two words:
carbon nanotubes. Posted by: Like "Plastics" in the Graduate at April 06, 2013 03:48 PM
============

Benjamin's old man: "Would you mind telling me what you are going to do with your life?"

Benjamin: "You got me..."

Thus it began...

Posted by: Mike Hammer at April 06, 2013 11:51 AM (aDwsi)

273 We love it here in Cuba!!

But...why are all of the servants black?

Posted by: Jay-Z and Beyonce at April 06, 2013 11:52 AM (k4bdL)

274 258 several biology and biochem projects with titles I can't pronounce much less comprehend. Sadly no good civil engineering projects. Kids could have lots of fun analyzing bridge collapses

Posted by: Jim in Virginia at April 06, 2013 11:52 AM (ZzEcS)

275 266 Okaaaay I'm ready now, may I have my country back.
Posted by: 'Nam Grunt at April 06, 2013 03:48 PM (8Hnjw)
Not without a fight.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot Jr. at April 06, 2013 11:52 AM (Ra1Mj)

276 Jim , I went to the Citadel, so I mock the VMI guys.

Posted by: Jean at April 06, 2013 11:52 AM (lPB7F)

277 Sorry about the mess, King Rhea was known to say. My post-coitus urine stream has forked, and, well, I'm just going to let you clean that up. This was eventually shortened to "urine" and eventually to "Ur."

Posted by: Truman North at April 06, 2013 11:53 AM (7sgTq)

278 Isn't it true that space elevators are theoretically possible except they don't know what they would make the cables out of? I want to write a sci fi book with space elevators.

Posted by: elizabethe at April 06, 2013 11:54 AM (qPCAa)

279 274 258 several biology and biochem projects with titles I can't pronounce much less comprehend. Sadly no good civil engineering projects. Kids could have lots of fun analyzing bridge collapses Posted by: Jim in Virginia at April 06, 2013 03:52 PM
==========

I am reminded of Gomez Adams staging train wrecks..
I liked John Astin, he did a good job...., not sure it was acting though.

Posted by: Mike Hammer at April 06, 2013 11:55 AM (aDwsi)

280 Jim , I went to the Citadel, so I mock the VMI guys.

Posted by: Jean at April 06, 2013 03:52 PM (lPB7F)

--------------------------------------------

Pussies. I went directly to the Army.

Posted by: Soona at April 06, 2013 11:56 AM (O3K8c)

281 Crap. 4 o'clock. It's now or never to mow this weekend.

Posted by: Mike Hammer at April 06, 2013 11:56 AM (aDwsi)

282 What is Obama's favorite pr0n movie? Later.

Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at April 06, 2013 11:56 AM (wtW72)

283 Also invented in Ur: the game of Parcheesi. Even today, it is sometimes known as the Royal Game of Ur.

Posted by: Truman North at April 06, 2013 11:57 AM (7sgTq)

284 I want to write a sci fi book with space elevators. Have an alien kid get on and press all the buttons.

Posted by: zsasz at April 06, 2013 11:58 AM (MMC8r)

285 281,

Better idea, it's 3pm here on the Gulf Coast think I'll make a beer run and wait for the Final4.

Posted by: 'Nam Grunt at April 06, 2013 11:59 AM (8Hnjw)

286
85
I lurk, I wish they would start calling travelling again.

Watch how many times you see a guy be in the air when he catches a
pass comes down right foot then left and proceeds to use his left foot
as his pivot foot.

This.....
Michael Jordan ran half way down the court before he took the shot

Posted by: Gunner at April 06, 2013 11:59 AM (oc9hK)

287 Sorry about the mess, King Rhea was known to say. My post-coitus urine stream has forked, and, well, I'm just going to let you clean that up.

This was eventually shortened to "urine" and eventually to "Ur."

Posted by: Truman North at April 06, 2013 03:53 PM (7sgTq)

------------------------------------------

Since we know the complete history, why are people digging that shit back up?

Posted by: Soona at April 06, 2013 11:59 AM (O3K8c)

288 @274 "Bridge collapses" Which reminds me, a robust and redundant space elevator. Have to be careful not to blow the top right off that thing with rotational inertia and accidentally launch someone at Mars.

Posted by: Beagle at April 06, 2013 12:00 PM (sOtz/)

289 280 Jim , I went to the Citadel, so I mock the VMI guys.
Posted by: Jean at April 06, 2013 03:52 PM (lPB7F)
--------------------------------------------
Pussies. I went directly to the Army. Posted by: Soona at April 06, 2013 03:56 PM

=====

I steered a middle course. AFROTC in school left me so depressed by the potential AF officers, that I decided a stint as a ground-pounder EM was likely to be a more formative experience.

Now I must start digging before the A-10 arrives...

Posted by: Mike Hammer at April 06, 2013 12:00 PM (aDwsi)

290 Oh mighty Karnac, will my shitty old Volvo spend more than a month between trips to the shop?

Posted by: joncelli at April 06, 2013 12:00 PM (CWlPF)

291 Kids could have lots of fun analyzing bridge collapses

Pick up To engineer is human: the role of failure in successful design by Henry Petroski

Posted by: Nostradamus at April 06, 2013 12:00 PM (/gHaE)

292 Space elevators are totally doable. If one were to put a satellite in geosynchronous orbit, it would by definition stay above one spot on the Earth. Then just run a cable. Instant Otis!

Posted by: Truman North at April 06, 2013 12:01 PM (7sgTq)

293 255 I'm at the Virginia State Science and Enginneering Fair at VMI with my daughter. Only way I will ever get her on the VMI campus . We went to the hotel lobby this morning for breakfast and I felt like Dave bowman in 2001: "my god, it's full of nerds!"

Posted by: Jim in Virginia at April 06, 2013 03:42 PM (ZzEcS)

Son went there. '08 grad.

Posted by: Tami[/i] at April 06, 2013 12:01 PM (X6akg)

294 Oh mighty Karnac, will my shitty old Volvo spend more than a month between trips to the shop?

It'll last another 30 years...if you don't turn that key thingy.

Posted by: Karnak at April 06, 2013 12:01 PM (/gHaE)

295 Michael Jordan ran half way down the court before he took the shot

Posted by: Gunner at April 06, 2013 03:59 PM (oc9hK)

----------------------------------------------

That's my take also. Air Jordan is another pandering myth.

Posted by: Soona at April 06, 2013 12:02 PM (O3K8c)

296 The carbon nanotubes were for the space elevator. For a trillion porkulus we should already have one.

Posted by: Beagle at April 06, 2013 12:02 PM (sOtz/)

297 292 Space elevators are totally doable. If one were to put a satellite in geosynchronous orbit, it would by definition stay above one spot on the Earth.

Then just run a cable. Instant Otis! Posted by: Truman North at April 06, 2013 04:01 PM
========

Sort of a cosmic weed-eater

Posted by: Mike Hammer at April 06, 2013 12:04 PM (aDwsi)

298

Isn't it true that space elevators are theoretically possible except they don't know what they would make the cables out of?

They could make them like a magnetic rail gun.

Posted by: harleycowboy at April 06, 2013 12:05 PM (+9AX9)

299 Space elevators are totally doable. If one were to put a satellite in geosynchronous orbit, it would by definition stay above one spot on the Earth.

Then just run a cable. Instant Otis!

Posted by: Truman North at April 06, 2013 04:01 PM (7sgTq)

--------------------------------------------

I don't think it has to be that high. Aren't the physics along the lines of a tether-ball. Centrifical force. Although, the anchor in space would have to have a decent amount of mass.

Posted by: Soona at April 06, 2013 12:07 PM (O3K8c)

300 Isn't it true that space elevators are theoretically possible except they don't know what they would make the cables out of?

The carbon nano-tube shit is probably strong enough, but we don't know hot to make them long. Hell, we don't even know how to make ones that are just kinda short.

Posted by: @PurpAv at April 06, 2013 12:08 PM (/gHaE)

301 Nano Toobs, midget porn star of the future.

Posted by: Lincolntf at April 06, 2013 12:09 PM (ZshNr)

302

Isn't it true that space elevators are theoretically possible except they don't know what they would make the cables out of?

---------------------------------------------

This is the perfect question to ask Karnak.

Posted by: Soona at April 06, 2013 12:11 PM (O3K8c)

303 284 I want to write a sci fi book with space elevators. Have an alien kid get on and press all the buttons. Posted by: zsasz at April 06, 2013 03:58 PM (MMC8r) Best LOL of the day!

Posted by: Truman North at April 06, 2013 12:13 PM (7sgTq)

304 @300 Probably use some freaky artificial bacteria to build them. They will take over and watch Nano Toobs video on the Internet.

Posted by: Beagle at April 06, 2013 12:13 PM (sOtz/)

305 299 I don't think it has to be that high. Aren't the physics along the lines of a tether-ball. Centrifical force. Although, the anchor in space would have to have a decent amount of mass. Posted by: Soona at April 06, 2013 04:07 PM (O3K8c) Well, yes, it does have to be that high. Only satellites in geosynchronous orbit will stay put over one spot on Earth. Satellites in lower orbits will tend to keep moving around. Now all we have to do is figure out how to manufacture cables that are 23,000 miles long.

Posted by: rickl at April 06, 2013 12:14 PM (sdi6R)

306 Nanotubes? Nah man, HEMP. Best thing for a kid your age.

Posted by: Truman North at April 06, 2013 12:16 PM (7sgTq)

307 Now all we have to do is figure out how to manufacture cables that are 23,000 miles long. We're gonna need bigger nanotubes.

Posted by: Blanco Basura at April 06, 2013 12:17 PM (xKC/c)

308

Wonder what the air friction temperature would be on the space elevator?

Posted by: harleycowboy at April 06, 2013 12:18 PM (+9AX9)

309 Now all we have to do is figure out how to manufacture cables that are 23,000 miles long.

Posted by: rickl at April 06, 2013 04:14 PM (sdi6R)

---------------------------------------------------

Easy. Run nano-wires to the satellite and then fertilize the wisteria in my back yard and let it climb the wires. It's not exotic, but I think it'll work.

Posted by: Soona at April 06, 2013 12:19 PM (O3K8c)

310 @305 If I am honest, a space elevator may have a few obstacles. But it would make large-scale space possible. Mars gets much easier. We need to get there and start pumping out a crappy atmosphere. I can't believe the scientists who think we should keep it pristine. Pandora, sure. But Mars is not that.

Posted by: Beagle at April 06, 2013 12:24 PM (sOtz/)

311 Elizabethe its a bit of a chicken and egg thing. Easiest, being relative, would be to capture a semi-large asteroid and park it about 23,000 miles up where the Clarke Belt is - instant anchor. But that requires us hairless apes to have gotten into space in the first place.

Or borrow from zsasz, have aliens show up. Take pity on the hairless apes and gift them a space tower. Then we get into humans being resentful of alien gift. Clash of cultures. And perhaps sabotage and kill the aliens.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at April 06, 2013 12:30 PM (7Tyhl)

312 Nam Grunt! What's on the barbecue?

Posted by: joncelli at April 06, 2013 12:30 PM (CWlPF)

313 Who wins Sunday night - The Rock or John Cena?

Posted by: Dudley Smith at April 06, 2013 12:32 PM (6T+1F)

314 Why are you all racists, sexists, and homophobes who do not love our President?

Posted by: Mary Cloggenstein from Brattleboro, Vermont at April 06, 2013 12:35 PM (aR5oH)

315 Great Karnak, what is the Tucker Award for Excellence in Partying?

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at April 06, 2013 12:37 PM (7Tyhl)

316 Great Karnak, I feel like I'm passing a razor blade when I urinate. What might it be?

Posted by: Menendez at April 06, 2013 12:53 PM (Cs2tJ)

317 How many hours ahead of us is N. Korea time?

Posted by: GreenEyes at April 06, 2013 01:22 PM (nu16a)

318 Should we send to N. Korea a bunch of liberal Hollywood types in exchange for peace?

Posted by: GreenEyes at April 06, 2013 01:24 PM (nu16a)

319

When oh when can we finally move (hail Moochelle!) Forward and achieve the most important thing this country can do, namely, Common-Sense, Universal, Mandatory Sodomy For Teh Childrens! If We Could Save Just One Life! Sex Before Eight Or Else They Will H8! And all at the loving hands of Planned ParentHood's Personal Education Responsibility Program, P.E.R.P.

Posted by: OK, ThankYouGoodBye, poolside at caligrump's 5150 resort at April 06, 2013 01:44 PM (he33V)

320 Will the North Korean people chow down on the fat prince Un once his mafia government is overthrown by the Chicoms?

Posted by: KR1 at April 06, 2013 02:36 PM (oEfom)

321 Major Haley was Army; branch = Corps of Engineers. Lt. Col. John Glen = Marine aviator and astronaut

Posted by: NaCly Dog at April 06, 2013 03:44 PM (u82oZ)

322 Purple Avenger... If one room of a house is not grounded...but the rest of the house is grounded...to the house water supply copper pipe...is it permissible to ground that room by running grounds from the outlets, through the crawl space...and splice them into the house ground at the house water supply copper pipe? Thank you.

Posted by: Taco Shack at April 06, 2013 04:41 PM (C+qQ0)

323 @#7 Navycop Joe.

<i> I would ask if da cubbies will win the World Series but of course the answer will be YES</i>

Already Cubs fans are lamenting...just wait until next year!111!

Posted by: Nobody knows the troubles I've seen at April 06, 2013 05:18 PM (1XRS7)

324 @126 Down?

Posted by: Watcher1 at April 07, 2013 05:10 PM (maKJ1)

325 If I poop in the woods and no one is around, does it leave a smell?

Posted by: Kevin at April 07, 2013 05:42 PM (gB7mv)

326 &&&

Posted by: irright at April 09, 2013 07:36 AM (8GKDa)

327 amp

Posted by: irright at April 09, 2013 07:36 AM (8GKDa)

328 amp;

Posted by: irright at April 09, 2013 07:37 AM (8GKDa)

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