Ace of Spades HQ

January 16, 2013

Late Night Bong Hit-Induced Thought
— CAC

Dark matter.
Dark matter structure.
Dark matter structure evolving into dark matter organisms.
Dark matter organisms evolving into intelligent dark matter organisms.

Since dark matter is believed to influence the shape of the observable universe (holding galaxies together, galaxy groups, etc, in fact the "missing" matter problem noticed by Zwicky is how we discovered dark matter in the first place) what would stop hypothetical intelligent dark matter organisms, organisms aware and intelligent enough to have discovered and observe regular matter...

from deliberately influencing us?

Posted by: CAC at 07:08 PM | Comments (175)
Post contains 94 words, total size 1 kb.

1 BRILLIANT

Posted by: reliapundit at January 16, 2013 07:12 PM (P9+t0)

2 the dark force? the dark side?

Posted by: reliapundit at January 16, 2013 07:13 PM (P9+t0)

3 Darkman, show yourself!!

Posted by: Javems at January 16, 2013 07:13 PM (c8xU9)

4 This post is raciss.

Posted by: rickl at January 16, 2013 07:14 PM (sdi6R)

5 Can we call thm 'Darkies'?

Posted by: garrett at January 16, 2013 07:14 PM (vrMj+)

6 The webcomic Schlock Mercenary beat you to it, it has hostile dark matter creatures.

Posted by: Cato at January 16, 2013 07:14 PM (h0CwU)

7 Is there a map?

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at January 16, 2013 07:14 PM (2pc1N)

8 A little mood music: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KhWArBhPWu0

Posted by: The Trippy Hat at January 16, 2013 07:15 PM (Vk2pI)

This is what happens when you are off the bacon too long.

Posted by: Liberty Lover at January 16, 2013 07:16 PM (+z50F)

10 Tin foil. Duh.

Posted by: Aruges at January 16, 2013 07:17 PM (NqY9l)

11 These insights are obviously the product of alcohol-induced meditation.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at January 16, 2013 07:18 PM (2pc1N)

12 Suddenly, Indie Brit band: "You Showed Me" by The Lightning Seeds http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=njZuJB9omaI

Posted by: The Trippy Hat at January 16, 2013 07:19 PM (Vk2pI)

13 Well then we are likely influencing the dark side as well...

Posted by: Rustynca at January 16, 2013 07:20 PM (A5Jst)

14 > and intelligent enough to have discovered and observe regular matter...

Nah. We are protected by this being an inherent impossiblity, because we humbly ignorant light matter beings are their anathama.

Otherwise, we could see them watching us...

Hey!

Wuzzat?!

Posted by: east of nowhere at January 16, 2013 07:21 PM (NN+9L)

15 Burnt toast is dark matter.

Posted by: CraigPoe at January 16, 2013 07:21 PM (BVkEs)

16 That's why we can't see the UFO's they're flying

Posted by: John P. Squibob at January 16, 2013 07:23 PM (kqqGm)

17 Is "dark matter" code for Obama in this post?

Posted by: L, elle at January 16, 2013 07:23 PM (0PiQ4)

18 Not quite as bad as my idea that life first evolved with silicon creatures--rocks--who were longer lived, more advanced technologically--but simply thought at a slower pace (think computer clock speeds), and were thus ethically hopeful for humanity, but concerned about us in the mass, since they couldn't take us. I left that one on the editing room floor.

Posted by: R. at January 16, 2013 07:24 PM (XBQCw)

19 That's the same thing as incompetent matter, right?

Posted by: mugiwara at January 16, 2013 07:25 PM (hpYnL)

20 I don't think that dark matter men could influence us, at least not physically, without our particles and theirs coming in contact and annihilating.

Posted by: Danee Garone at January 16, 2013 07:25 PM (LcBPa)

21 Sounds like Stephen Baxter's photino birds.

Posted by: geoff at January 16, 2013 07:25 PM (CRdbE)

22 For we are not contending against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavens.

Duh.

Posted by: St. Paul at January 16, 2013 07:26 PM (AaIjD)

23 Is this the Late Night Overnight Thread?

Posted by: Daybrother at January 16, 2013 07:26 PM (+paCV)

24 I don't think that dark matter men could influence us, at least not physically, without our particles and theirs coming in contact and annihilating.

How did you conclude that dark matter is also anti-matter?

Posted by: John P. Squibob at January 16, 2013 07:26 PM (kqqGm)

25 Posted by: Cato at January 16, 2013 11:14 PM (h0CwU)

Beat me to it, Cato.

Posted by: Jeff Weimer at January 16, 2013 07:27 PM (rqlRk)

26 Then dark matter made you write this post--it's revealing itself to us!

Posted by: JonathanEllis at January 16, 2013 07:27 PM (BdzEV)

27 I don't think that dark matter men could influence us, at least not physically, without our particles and theirs coming in contact and annihilating.
Posted by: Danee Garone at January 16, 2013 11:25 PM (LcBPa)

That's what she said.

Posted by: Dark Matter Man at January 16, 2013 07:28 PM (hpYnL)

28 Then dark matter made you write this post--it's revealing itself to us!

But in such a way that we are convinced that it can't influence us. Sorta like the Devil convincing us he doesn't exist.

Posted by: John P. Squibob at January 16, 2013 07:29 PM (kqqGm)

29 #28 AND POOF! I WAS GONE.

Posted by: The actual logic of the Usual Suspects plot at January 16, 2013 07:31 PM (vDtui)

30 OK, the gig is up. We know you know we exist, but it doesn't necessarily mean we care...

Posted by: Galaxy 0402+379 at January 16, 2013 07:32 PM (NN+9L)

31 Dark matter in my kid's brain makes her eat hot chocolate mix out of the can. Actually, the dark matter in the brain, substania nigra, is affected in Parkinson's disease.

Posted by: Big Fat Meanie at January 16, 2013 07:32 PM (3XIro)

32 More mood music: Voivod's cover of "Astronomy Domine" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rvVJCaQcTUY

Posted by: I'm trippin' Hats here at January 16, 2013 07:34 PM (Vk2pI)

33 Our dark matter overlords call themselves the Illuminati. They love the irony, don't you know. They're also responsible for phantom time, the pyramids and my inability to get a date

Posted by: Art Bell's Dumber Cousin at January 16, 2013 07:37 PM (5J54Q)

34 Fritz Zwicky is a wonderful name.

Posted by: huerfano at January 16, 2013 07:38 PM (bAGA/)

35 Hello. Darkness. My. Old. Friend.

Posted by: Pecan Scandi at January 16, 2013 07:39 PM (Z/+49)

36 What if the light you see when you close your eyes is really just energy released from dark matter beings getting it on?

Posted by: JonathanEllis at January 16, 2013 07:40 PM (BdzEV)

37 TourÃ© Neblett says this post is racist.

Posted by: Oswald at January 16, 2013 07:41 PM (7VIW7)

38 Sorta like the Devil convincing us he doesn't exist. Posted by: John P. Squibob at January 16, 2013 11:29 PM (kqqGm) Of course the devil exists, it's just that he has no work these days because the dems have moved in on his territory and not even he can out-evil a dem. I heard he was last seen wandering along a beach in St. Maarten and selling puka shell necklaces.

Posted by: RondinellaMamma at January 16, 2013 07:41 PM (53riN)

39 Already been done... read the webcomic Schlock Mercenary for further details.

Posted by: CPT. Charles at January 16, 2013 07:42 PM (1GunI)

40 My dark matter people, we have but one bunghole.

Posted by: Cornholio at January 16, 2013 07:42 PM (StDOM)

41 If there were dark matters beings amongst us we couldn't see them, but that doesn't mean we couldn't detect their presence in other ways. Dark matter in space is not visible, but we know where it's at because we can see the result of it's gravitational effects.

Posted by: Mark1971 at January 16, 2013 07:43 PM (Vjplh)

42 Since the only way we seem to be able to" observe" dark matter is through its gravitational effects, any...fool...can...plainly... see... that the "gravitationally challenged" among us owe their extra density to DM lodged in their bowels.

So if you've always wondered what Michael Moore was under the influence of, now you know.

For more evidence, try swallowing Pepto Bismol before you go to bed , then take a look into your toilet bowl after having your morning "sit".

Dark, ain't it....

QED

Posted by: Donnie Darko's Dark Twin at January 16, 2013 07:43 PM (HVtRc)

43 Toure has a last name? Take it away.

Posted by: Bob, Person of Hench at January 16, 2013 07:45 PM (1efte)

44 Check your arms for counting marks.

Posted by: Doctor Who at January 16, 2013 07:45 PM (ThXYv)

45 Freshest conspiracy theory seen floating around the Web: Monti Te'o is gay and he cooked up the hoax to cover up since Notre Lame is such a hidebound, hardcore Catholic university.

Posted by: logprof at January 16, 2013 07:46 PM (StDOM)

46 That was part of series of novels by Baxter. It was Xeelee (normal matter) vs. the Photino Birds (dark matter). Took billions of years to play out. Humans fought the Xeelee because we didn't know about the REAL threat of the Photino Birds. XeeLee were so advanced they mostly ignored humans. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Xeelee_Sequence_species

Posted by: Comrade Arthur at January 16, 2013 07:47 PM (qkP36)

47 In Darkopolis we dream of the Light at the subterranean terminus.

Posted by: Xygzz at January 16, 2013 07:48 PM (JJ0VC)

48 Oppose the Shadows, if you dare.

Posted by: Vorlons at January 16, 2013 07:49 PM (I88Jc)

49 NO THIS IS NOT TRUE. THAT WOULD BE IMPOSSIBLE. NO ONE FROM OUTSIDE YOUR FRAME OF REFERENCE IS INFLUENCING YOU. AFTER I'M GONE, YOUR EARTH WILL BE FREE TO LIVE OUT IT'S MISERABLE SPAN OF EXISTENCE. ALSO, MAN, NO LOVE FOR THE BAND TRIP THEORY ON THE WIKIPEDIA PAGE FOR THAT QUOTE. SERIOUSLY.

Posted by: The Brain from The Planet Arous at January 16, 2013 07:50 PM (bxiXv)

50 No relation.

Posted by: Darker Matt at January 16, 2013 07:51 PM (46pA5)

51 8 A little mood music: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KhWArBhPWu0 Posted by: The Trippy Hat at January 16, 2013 11:15 PM (Vk2pI) Now you've got me watching a Hawkwind documentary. http://www.youtube.com/watch?NR=1&v=JzAldD6t-ps

Posted by: rickl at January 16, 2013 07:51 PM (sdi6R)

52 This is cornball dark matter!

Posted by: Rob Parker at January 16, 2013 07:52 PM (C6XFd)

53 Dark matter makes for dark shadows. Brought to you by the fine folks at Proctor and Gamble.

Posted by: Barnabas Collins at January 16, 2013 07:52 PM (2pc1N)

54 Would dark matter organisms consume dark energy for food?

Posted by: Mark1971 at January 16, 2013 07:52 PM (Vjplh)

55 Apologies, I haven't read any of the novels/comics/cartoons you all keep referencing. I have a life that involves a job, sex, not living with my parents, and having good skin, so please, expand on your references.

Posted by: CAC at January 16, 2013 07:53 PM (vDtui)

56 My dark matter people, we have but one bunghole.

Huzzah.

Posted by: Piers Gaveston., 1st Earl of Cornhole at January 16, 2013 07:53 PM (2pc1N)

57 This whole theory is not possible as dark matter organisms sleep during the day.

Posted by: The Mega Independent at January 16, 2013 07:55 PM (46pA5)

58 Maybe they can't observe us any more than we can observe them. That are looking for the dark energy and matter of their perception which is us. Maybe dark matter is like the silence. You CAN observe it but forget the observation immediately upon ceasing observation. Maybe there are dark matter beings in your house right now, and you've seen them 20 times already tonight and just can't remember them.

Posted by: MikeTheMoose Is Shrugging at January 16, 2013 07:56 PM (GE1+K)

59 Maybe dark matter is like the silence. You CAN observe it but forget the observation immediately upon ceasing observation.

WTF???

Posted by: Schrodinger's Cat at January 16, 2013 07:57 PM (2pc1N)

60 It would be difficult for dark matter to make any sort of life form. It doesn't interact with the electromagnetic force, which is what holds electrons to their nuclei and atoms into molecules. Without chemicals it's difficult to imagine anything complex forming. The only remaining forces are extremely short range or extremely weak. The short range force, provided it could allow for complex interactions and make some sort of chemicals and then life, would be extraordinarily small. On the order of a small molecule. If they could interact gravitationally, even though it's an exceedingly weak force and it would be hard for any sort of change in one area to dramatically impact any other small part, they would be huge, galaxy-sized creatures which would have to think and age very slowly. Since they could only interact between structures through gravity, which is limited to the speed of light, their speed of cognition would be limited to the distance between cognitive structures divided by c. Since it would take substantial gravity to interact with other parts, it would take large masses and thus large volumes to create functioning neuron-analogs. Thus, they would probably think at speeds measured in years if not thousands or hundreds of thousands of years.

Posted by: .87c at January 16, 2013 07:58 PM (wr5qm)

Yeah, I just close my eyes and watch the dark pron. Try it sometime.

Posted by: Pecan Scandi at January 16, 2013 07:59 PM (Z/+49)

62 Dark matter, ba! I am the ultimate intelligence in the galaxy!

Posted by: Star Child at January 16, 2013 07:59 PM (H4i7R)

63 Ahem. It was a letter. Maaayybe it was a little long winded but it wasn't a novel!

Posted by: St. Paul at January 16, 2013 07:59 PM (AaIjD)

64 >>>Check your arms for counting marks. Damn beat me to it.

Posted by: MikeTheMoose Is Shrugging at January 16, 2013 08:00 PM (GE1+K)

65 Now I won't be able to masturbate without thinking there are a bunch of dark matter beings watching me.

Posted by: Mark1971 at January 16, 2013 08:00 PM (Vjplh)

66 Dayman, fighter of the Nightman, Master of karate and friendship for everyone.

Posted by: RoyalOil at January 16, 2013 08:01 PM (imtbm)

67 Dark matter organisms watch the TV when it's off.

Posted by: The Mega Independent at January 16, 2013 08:02 PM (46pA5)

68 dunno about Teo but I sure wish those super investigative journalists would look towards 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. TFG is a ghost - yes, a worthless fucking ghost, but come on will somebody do so digging?

Posted by: freeTibet with purchase of equal or greater value Tibet at January 16, 2013 08:02 PM (quLHy)

69 >>>It would be difficult for dark matter to make any sort of life form. It doesn't interact with the electromagnetic force, which is what holds electrons to their nuclei and atoms into molecules. Without chemicals it's difficult to imagine anything complex forming. Oh I see they have to participate in *your* energetic reactions? Did you forget about me? I make up more of the universe than dark matter.

Posted by: Dark Energy at January 16, 2013 08:03 PM (GE1+K)

70 Oh yeah , I still need some guns ( up from I think I should get a gun)

Posted by: freeTibet with purchase of equal or greater value Tibet at January 16, 2013 08:03 PM (quLHy)

71 "Interstellar Overdrive" by the Pink Floyd: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XtrVrY1_Qq8

Posted by: I'm trippin' Hats here at January 16, 2013 08:04 PM (Vk2pI)

72 I was so excited to get to the end of all those sentences I forgot to finish the thought. The end result it, either way, the creatures would be too differently-sized to interact with us, either too small to notice us, or us to notice them, or too large. I'm not sure how a galaxy-wide being would even perceive the actions on a planet-sized scale. It might have some sort of gravity perceiving ability, likely would given previously-described absurd scenario, so it could perceive changes in gravity and gravity waves. It would likely not take any notice of us until we started moving large space ships through the void, and probably not even then. Also, since galaxies look to have formed at the nodes of a dark matter web, we might be like mites riding the fleas on the dark matter creature. We'd be too different to interact. Either too large or too small. But, it could never happen anyway. Interesting to consider though.

Posted by: .87c at January 16, 2013 08:04 PM (wr5qm)

73 > so please, expand on your references.

http://tiny.cc/7qh1qw

"...Galaxy 0402+379, which is kind of an unimposing name for the greatest unexploded bomb in existence. It doesn't have one supermassive black hole - it has two, and is thought to be the result of a truly massive collision between two galaxies, each with only the standard "one mega-ultra-huge black hole per galaxy"..."

Posted by: Galaxy 0402+379 at January 16, 2013 08:06 PM (NN+9L)

74 Deep in the Dark Matter Bungholio, lies the great Oleo.

Posted by: The Great Cornholio at January 16, 2013 08:08 PM (StDOM)

75 60 nails it. On Champions RPG, you can apply "megascale" to a large number of powers- they can do amazing things like make a LAZER that can destroy a planet or allow you to fly across the galaxy. The trade off is, the powers so modified no longer work on regular game scale. You can't use your mega-LAZER to destroy a car down the block or a to wound Mighty Man; you are essentially nuking everything from orbit. If you apply "megascale" to the "growth" power, something weird happens: you grow to be truly enormous, but your mass and strength only grow in proportion to "regular" growth. Therefore, a mega-growthed being would be of incredibly low density, the specifics of which would depend on how much he actually grows. A galaxy-sized mega growthed character would be of such low mass and density, it would be almost impossible to detect his interactions with normal elemental forces. I wonder... Could this be a modeling idea for a "dark matter being"? Total off the wall thought. Thanks CAC

Posted by: Truman North at January 16, 2013 08:08 PM (I2LwF)

76 The entire Their Satanic Majesties Request album. It was the Rolling Stone's stab at psychedelia. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XdUVn1OmQtc

Posted by: I'm trippin' Hats here at January 16, 2013 08:08 PM (Vk2pI)

77 I'm pretty sure dark energy is nonsense. From the presentation is attended I got: The calculations don't match the universe so 1. Everything is totally dwarfed and influenced by a mystical, mysterious "energy" that exerts a repulsive force never before seen! And this energy is the most important thing there is and no one ever saw it before or 2. We made a bad assumption assuming the universe could be modeled as having perfectly homogeneous density instead of existing in discrete clumps of matter like we observe. And so I pull out my razor...

Posted by: .87c at January 16, 2013 08:09 PM (wr5qm)

78 "what would stop hypothetical intelligent dark matter organisms, organisms aware and intelligent enough to have discovered and observe regular matter... from deliberately influencing us?"

A fairness doctrine.

Posted by: otho at January 16, 2013 08:09 PM (yBF/9)

79 Posted by: .87c at January 16, 2013 11:58 PM (wr5qm) Isn't that the idea of "Galaxia" from Asimov's "Foundation and Earth"? Also: Black Sabbath's "Planet Caravan": http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O63COyZlTyU

Posted by: I'm trippin' Hats here at January 16, 2013 08:10 PM (Vk2pI)

80 Now who you jivin with this cosmik debris?

Posted by: Phase One of Lumpy Gravy at January 16, 2013 08:13 PM (OmKdk)

81 >>>And so I pull out my razor... Your totally willing to say that space being "flat" really is only a local phenomenon, believe in an undetctable form of matter that seems to be everywhere but where we can get our fingers on it yet disbelieve massive material you can't detect by any normal means might have its own rules of interaction with like types of matter outside gravity which you can observe?

Posted by: MikeTheMoose at January 16, 2013 08:16 PM (GE1+K)

82 First Ace admits he just nodded off through the centuries 600-900 in history class and now we're talking about sentient dark matter.

What's going on - did the whole blog up and move to Colorado or what ?

Posted by: boulder hobo at January 16, 2013 08:16 PM (QTHTd)

83 Funny, "Dark Matter" Is my nickname for Baraka. That shit is real.

Posted by: Reggie Love at January 16, 2013 08:16 PM (StDOM)

84 But don't worry about that massive bomb thing. We control the chronsynclastic infundibulum. You won't feel a thing.

Posted by: Galaxy 0402+379 at January 16, 2013 08:16 PM (NN+9L)

85 Wrong, asshole. Galaxy clusters are held together by bittersweet matter.

Posted by: StevenH at January 16, 2013 08:18 PM (6W8+8)

86 Put the bong down and go get a job.

Posted by: eman at January 16, 2013 08:20 PM (tBnjP)

87 NERDS!

Posted by: Ogre Palowaski, Alpha Beta at January 16, 2013 08:20 PM (I88Jc)

88 The dawk matter is what howlds the cowrn and nuts together. What's the mystawy here?

Posted by: Barney Frank at January 16, 2013 08:21 PM (StDOM)

89 Bing "photino birds".

Posted by: eman at January 16, 2013 08:22 PM (tBnjP)

90 >>>Put the bong down and go get a job That is just the sort of attitude I wrote about in November about how we self select away from cultural relevance by degrading the value of creative thought for the purpose of art.

Posted by: MikeTheMoose at January 16, 2013 08:24 PM (GE1+K)

91 So, what is the consensus on obama's power grab? It seems a little weak compared with what everyone was saying he would do. I do wonder if he is making his major push as a chicago-style / corrupt arm twisting campaign behind the scenes to get "dick's I will never shop there again sporting goods" type actions.

Posted by: yankeefifth at January 16, 2013 08:24 PM (Z9EHQ)

92 Got a sneaking suspicion we're back at the Keplar stage of astronomy/astro physics. We're seeing one patch after another, added on to explain away what we don't get with the paradigm. Might be time to start looking at the foundation again, like Keplar did.

Posted by: otho at January 16, 2013 08:26 PM (yBF/9)

93 >>>It seems a little weak compared with what everyone was saying he would do. Maybe we did enough hell raising to make him uncomfortable to act too much like a dictator.

Posted by: MikeTheMoose at January 16, 2013 08:26 PM (GE1+K)

94 >>>like Keplar did. Kepler just refined what was already a fundamentally correct system observed and postulated by Copernicus.

Posted by: MikeTheMoose at January 16, 2013 08:28 PM (GE1+K)

95 Maybe we did enough hell raising to make him uncomfortable to act too much like a dictator. Posted by: MikeTheMoose at January 17, 2013 12:26 AM (GE1+K) heh. not to be an ass, but, no way. If anything all we did is make him and his henchits realize it was too soon to make their move. Apparently there is a bit of steel left in some Americans constitution.

Posted by: yankeefifth at January 16, 2013 08:29 PM (Z9EHQ)

96 79 I don't know, I haven't read Foundation. I'm not much of an Asimov fan, to be honest--I did like End of Eternity, though. Is Foundation as good as some claim? I heard it tails off as the series progresses. 81 I don't disbelieve that unseen forces would have their own different ways of doing things, I just don't get as far as believing those things exist. This wasn't my field of study, but from what I've heard and read this is my conclusion on the matter. It's not that I can't believe it has odd properties, just that it seems more prudent and likely to believe that we have a problem in our model or assumption rather than positing some unknown material that has exactly these unusual properties we need it to have. It's my understanding that dark matter has "more directly" been observed through gravitational lensing and the distribution of galaxies, but I might be mis-remembering that article.

Posted by: .87c at January 16, 2013 08:33 PM (DDc3p)

97 I believe in the dark matter Second Amendment. I won't take your dark matter shotgun away, I won't take your dark matter rifle away. I won't take your dark matter handgun away. Trust me. Dark Matter Scout's Honor!

Posted by: Dark Matter Obama at January 16, 2013 08:35 PM (JJ0VC)

98 When I get stoned, I listen to English country dance music and waltzes, learn to play them, and write lyrics to them. Isn't the diversity of THC wonderful?

Posted by: SFGoth at January 16, 2013 08:40 PM (ArRdf)

99 Posted by: .87c at January 17, 2013 12:33 AM (DDc3p) We need to explain how gravitational forces are observed but no matter shows up when looked for by other methods. Dark Matter explains the results but then we are left with explaining dark matter. It's okay to discover something new. The old model has been expanded, this is a good thing.

Posted by: eman at January 16, 2013 08:43 PM (tBnjP)

100 Kepler just refined what was already a fundamentally correct system observed and postulated by Copernicus.

Posted by: MikeTheMoose at January 17, 2013 12:28 AM

Wasn't referring to the basic system, rather the how it actually works bit. It might have just been refining, but it was an incredibly important refinement. Prior to his and Brahe's work, the system was a perfect one, that didn't take into account variations. Observations didn't fit what really was a sound logical model.

Posted by: otho at January 16, 2013 08:46 PM (yBF/9)

101 Didn't Muslim scholars solve this issue a long time ago ... during the missing 300 years of history? They have added so much to society, didn't Barack say, that this must have been something that they jotted down on the back of a napkin at one time or another, while taking a break from building suicide bombs and hacking off arms and legs and beating little girls and inventing rubbers by F*ing goats.

Posted by: and irresolute at January 16, 2013 08:50 PM (DBH1h)

102 59 Maybe dark matter is like the silence. You CAN observe it but forget the observation immediately upon ceasing observation. WTF??? It's a Doctor Who reference.

Posted by: taylork at January 16, 2013 08:53 PM (ppNDn)

103 "In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida" -- the 25 minute version: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kAnLHdr5Y74

Posted by: I'm trippin' Hats here at January 16, 2013 08:56 PM (Vk2pI)

104 Actually the problem with dark matter is that it does not exist until it has been observed, which is actually a good thing considering how much space it potentially takes up. once it is observed we are screwed. It is like the pink stuff in the cat in the hat book - dark matter all over the place.

Posted by: yankeefifth at January 16, 2013 08:57 PM (Z9EHQ)

105 man this thread moves as fast as obama on a first date - with a lady.

Posted by: yankeefifth at January 16, 2013 09:02 PM (Z9EHQ)

106 man this thread moves as fast as obama on a first date - with a lady. Posted by: yankeefifth at January 17, 2013 01:02 AM (Z9EHQ) Blame relativistic time dilation... Also: Hawkwind's "Spirit of the Age": http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vSR5TnNGKmo

Posted by: I'm trippin' Hats here at January 16, 2013 09:06 PM (Vk2pI)

107

Dark matter. Isn't that the stuff that's collects under the refrigerator?

Posted by: harleycowboy at January 16, 2013 09:08 PM (+9AX9)

108 It's a Doctor Who reference. Posted by: taylork at January 17, 2013 12:53 AM (ppNDn) The original opening for Doctor Who: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=75V4ClJZME4

Posted by: I'm trippin' Hats here at January 16, 2013 09:08 PM (Vk2pI)

109 Thus, they would probably think at speeds measured in years if not thousands or hundreds of thousands of years.

Meh. Eternity is a long time.

Posted by: Dark Matter at January 16, 2013 09:11 PM (mLN7K)

110 This dark matter killed both threads.

Posted by: t-bird at January 16, 2013 09:13 PM (FcR7P)

111 I believe God is in charge

Posted by: blink at January 16, 2013 09:18 PM (Mxm/O)

112 all you got to do is touch them to blow them the eff up....

Posted by: vikingsfan at January 16, 2013 09:19 PM (8mvBV)

113 I know this thread is tongue in cheek, but seriously this is exactly the thoughts my mind kicks out. My operating theory: We live in a spooky, science fiction universe.

Posted by: Eaton Cox is kind of a LIBNO at January 16, 2013 09:19 PM (+wxCD)

114 God tells us to love the poor, then we don't, what else can we expect?

Posted by: blink at January 16, 2013 09:20 PM (Mxm/O)

115 Women smile

Posted by: blink at January 16, 2013 09:24 PM (Mxm/O)

116 > 109 Thus, they would probably think at speeds measured in years if not thousands or hundreds of thousands of years.

> Meh. Eternity is a long time.

Well, maybe we broke the space/time continuom as you know it, by exploding a mere 20 billion parsecs away.

Is it true that unlike Light, which has a maximum speed, Gravity an instantaneous force?

Posted by: Galaxy 0402+379 at January 16, 2013 09:24 PM (NN+9L)

117 Is it true that unlike Light, which has a maximum speed, Gravity an instantaneous force?

1

Posted by: blink at January 16, 2013 09:25 PM (Mxm/O)

118 This is very important, PLS PAY ATTN: McConnell & Reid are about those two (insert what swear words you would prefer) to change filibuster rules: http://tinyurl.com/a99l7h

Posted by: CarolT at January 16, 2013 09:28 PM (z4WKX)

119 When more than one form of matter attempt to occupy the same space, who do you call?

Posted by: quantum mechanic at January 16, 2013 09:30 PM (NN+9L)

120 Gravity should also be limited to the speed of light. I don't believe this has been experimentally verified.

Posted by: .87c at January 16, 2013 09:31 PM (DDc3p)

121 The infinite variety show: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WGUYenMRkcI

Posted by: The Political Hat at January 16, 2013 09:32 PM (Vk2pI)

122 119 When more than one form of matter attempt to occupy the same space, who do you call?

God or higgs boson?

Posted by: blink at January 16, 2013 09:33 PM (Mxm/O)

123 I have a simple request. Can you guys please use target="_blank" when linking other sites. I hate clicking a link and losing my place on this site especially ONTs. I sometimes forget to ctrl+click to open the link in a new window.

Posted by: Sho Nuff at January 16, 2013 09:38 PM (jo0fs)

124 The Democrat's presumptive nominee for NV Sec. of State believes in backwards flowing time: http://tinyurl.com/abusrkl and http://tinyurl.com/abusrkl

Posted by: The Political Hat at January 16, 2013 09:39 PM (Vk2pI)

125 Wow, CAC stomped the ONT??? Is this the ONT afterparty?

Posted by: Burn the Witch at January 16, 2013 09:40 PM (ROv35)

126 Wow, CAC stomped the ONT??? Is this the ONT afterparty? Posted by: Burn the Witch at January 17, 2013 01:40 AM (ROv35) This is just where the COOL kids are... Pink Floyd's live part of Ummagumma: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kcTuds6jfkI

Posted by: Hats be trippin' YO!!1! at January 16, 2013 09:42 PM (Vk2pI)

127 Posted by: Sho Nuff at January 17, 2013 01:38 AM (jo0fs) Dude, it's hard enough to get basic formatting on a run of the mill comment and you want shit to open in a new window? FFS, these guys don't even read the blog, and you're asking for convenience??

Posted by: Burn the Witch at January 16, 2013 09:42 PM (ROv35)

128 Dark matter is just the software, maaaan.

Posted by: Not Ready to Unsock at January 16, 2013 09:44 PM (1FLBb)

129 This is just where the COOL kids are... >>

If you repeat that 3 times while clicking your heels you'll transport to Kansas too.

Posted by: Buzzsaw at January 16, 2013 09:47 PM (qo244)

130 Dark matter isn't invisible. You just need to turn on the blacklight, man. That shit really pops out from the poster.

Posted by: otho at January 16, 2013 09:52 PM (yBF/9)

131 > 120 Gravity should also be limited to the speed of light. I don't believe this has been experimentally verified.

Actually, it seems to still be a matter (ha!) of debate.

http://tiny.cc/vom1qw

Posted by: quantum mechanic at January 16, 2013 09:53 PM (0NeLN)

132 Cromagnon-"Caledonia" (1969) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rPiO_G-DEHs

Posted by: ザ・　ポリティカル・　ハ at January 16, 2013 09:59 PM (Vk2pI)

133 Late night bong party should be a humpday tradition? WHO IS WITH ME???

Posted by: Eaton Cox is kind of a LIBNO at January 16, 2013 10:00 PM (+wxCD)

134 94 >>>like Keplar did.

Kepler just refined what was already a fundamentally correct system observed and postulated by Copernicus.

*************************

No. He offered a mathematical description of heliocentric planetary orbits, a wholly different contribution to scientific knowledge than Copernicus's hypothesis of a heliocentric system.

He didn't "refine" anything.

Posted by: Jim Sonweed at January 16, 2013 10:00 PM (HVtRc)

135 133 Late night bong party should be a humpday tradition?

After all we are in a war on drugs, so maybe we shouldn't

Posted by: blink at January 16, 2013 10:03 PM (Mxm/O)

136 Whoops. Confused dark matter with antimatter.

Posted by: Danee Garone at January 16, 2013 10:05 PM (LcBPa)

137 Someone forgot their med's.

Posted by: That's crazy at January 16, 2013 10:05 PM (KqwSL)

138 77 I'm pretty sure dark energy is nonsense. From the presentation is attended....

You should avoid such "presentations", as you seem to have no science background.

You would do better to watch Telemundo without knowing any Spanish.

Despite the language issues, "a tit is still a tit, a thigh is still a thigh"...

Posted by: Jim Sonweed at January 16, 2013 10:06 PM (HVtRc)

139 Aren't you a bit too old to be hitting bongs at this hour?

Posted by: cthulhu at January 16, 2013 10:07 PM (kaalw)

140 So long as they don't want our guns or take our jobs, I for one, welcome our new intelligent dark matter organism overlords. Is that racist, BTW? It can't be any worse than what we got now.

Posted by: Flounder at January 16, 2013 10:09 PM (Kkt/i)

141 Late night bong party should be a humpday tradition? WHO IS WITH ME??? Posted by: Eaton Cox is kind of a LIBNO at January 17, 2013 02:00 AM (+wxCD) OK Here is the full album: "In the Court of th Crimson King" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AjIpU9cV2ac

Posted by: Teh Trippin' Hat at January 16, 2013 10:11 PM (Vk2pI)

142 You should avoid such "presentations", as you seem to have no science background. Posted by: Jim Sonweed at January 17, 2013 02:06 AM (HVtRc) --- Then why don't you put him some knowledge there, hotshot. Anyone can show up and say "Go back to the shallow end," and leave it at that, takes nothing special at all. You should avoid Ace's posts on how to use gimmicks to make yourself *sound* intelligent, as you seem to take them seriously. Or, you know, just show some respect and teach somebody something instead of pissing on their rug.

Posted by: Not Ready to Unsock at January 16, 2013 10:14 PM (1FLBb)

143 BRB. I gotta go deposit a dark matter organism - a deuce. I call mine Obamas.

Posted by: Flounder at January 16, 2013 10:14 PM (Kkt/i)

144 "I for one, welcome our new intelligent dark matter organism overlords." Posted by: Flounder at January 17, 2013 02:09 AM (Kkt/i) --- Harry Reid on Obama and Holder?

Posted by: Not Ready to Unsock at January 16, 2013 10:15 PM (1FLBb)

145 113 I know this thread is tongue in cheek, but seriously this is exactly the thoughts my mind kicks out.

My operating theory:

We live in a spooky, science fiction universe.

******

Your theory has many adherents:

Early 20th century British scientist Sir Arthur Eddington was first to say,

"Not only is the universe stranger than we imagine, it is stranger than we can imagine."

Posted by: Jim Sonweed at January 16, 2013 10:17 PM (HVtRc)

146 Posted by: Jim Sonweed at January 17, 2013 02:06 AM (HVtRc) --- Hey, BTW, nice post on the ass end of the missing time thread. Now, back to your regular programming. I'm out.

Posted by: Not Ready to Unsock at January 16, 2013 10:19 PM (1FLBb)

147 67 Dark matter organisms watch the TV when it's off.

Posted by: The Mega Independent at January 17, 2013 12:02 AM (46pA5)

That's a relief. I was worried about sharing the remote.

Posted by: Flounder at January 16, 2013 10:19 PM (Kkt/i)

148 138 Hey, thanks! I should have wasted my time doing that instead of going to symposia, having lunch with the occasional dark energy researcher, and getting my physics degree. Why don't you offer evidence or countervailing arguments instead of your cable-hacking Cinemax-knockoff tips, your Sciencefulness? 131 Interesting. Inflation theory allows for space to expand faster than light, that's the general idea behind all this recent warp-drive hubbub. As it states in the article, information doesn't travel faster than the speed of light, it is expected under established principles that nothing would exceed it. Neutrinos don't, EPR and such means there are some odd things that can go on, but information still doesn't move superluminally. I could see space being the exception to this and gravity effectively being a manifestation of curved space so also getting a pass, but it seems unlikely to not have been considered before. I'll have to investigate the evidence put forward by the article to see if there is even anything in what they are claiming. We could make gravity waves and track the travel time, difficult to do in practice though...

Posted by: .87c at January 16, 2013 10:25 PM (DDc3p)

149 Posted by: Teh Trippin' Hat at January 17, 2013 02:11 AM (Vk2pI) 142 Y

Then why don't you put him some knowledge there, hotshot. Anyone can show up and say "Go back to the shallow end," and leave it at that, takes nothing special at all.

********

The guy offered nothing but his personal take, which offered no scientific critique at all. Seems more like he didn't understand what he was presented.

If you would look through this thread and the other "sciency" one tonight, I do respond substantively, to substantive statements.

But if a person doesn't have the background to understand the issues, I'm not here to give him a tutorial.

Now, if you agree with him, and can make a case based on your understanding of the issues, give it a go.

I'll be happy to respond. On the merits.

Posted by: Jim Sonweed at January 16, 2013 10:28 PM (HVtRc)

150 Here is the full album: "In the Court of th Crimson King" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AjIpU9cV2ac Trippin Elephant Balls

Posted by: Eaton Cox is kind of a LIBNO at January 16, 2013 10:29 PM (+wxCD)

151

>>>"In the Court of th Crimson King"

Bah! Overrated prog is the worst prog of all the prog.

Posted by: garrett at January 16, 2013 10:33 PM (NrAlm)

152 CAC comes up with some heavy duty Merkin paranoia here.

Posted by: Rex the Wonder God at January 16, 2013 10:55 PM (21TJo)

153 Well if dark energy represents 73% of the known universe, with dark matter comprising another 23%, then just 4% of the known universe is composed of ordinary mass/energy.

If we are having such a bitch of a time 'seeing' dark energy and matter when there is soooo damn much of it, imagine how hard it must be for dark beings to spot the influence and presence of our tiny amount of normal stuff. It's like a rounding error fer cryin' out loud.

They'll never see us coming with our nets and collection jars until too late.

And to think I thought all this BS up without the aid of THC, though alcohol *may* have been involved.

Posted by: GnuBreed at January 16, 2013 10:58 PM (ccXZP)

154 148 138 Hey, thanks! I should have wasted my time doing that instead of going to symposia, having lunch with the occasional dark energy researcher, and getting my physics degree. Why don't you offer evidence or countervailing arguments instead of your cable-hacking Cinemax-knockoff tips, your Sciencefulness?

*****

No.   Offer *your* countervailing arguments and evidence. You've offered none here, only vague snot-flinging.

The FACT is, the issues of dark matter/dark energy are not resolved: do they represent an incomplete understanding of existing ideas about matter and energy, or are we dealing with new phenomena?

As for you: this post was about dark MATTER.   You weighed in with muzzy "thoughts" about dark ENERGY.

Next you engage in woolly speculation about how dark MATTER can't be this or that --- even though no one knows what its structure is [if it's real] , let alone its chemical properties. Makin' shit up ain't "science", skippy.

Next, you say: "131 Interesting. Inflation theory allows for space to expand faster than light, that's the general idea behind all this recent warp-drive hubbub."

No, it's not.   The Einstein's "idea" is that nothing can move through space faster than light , but nothing in physics (at least as presently understood) prevents space itself from expanding at faster-than-light speeds.

Since warp-drive obviously postulates faster-than-light speeds for objects or photons carrying information, it's (currently) science fiction.

You also speculate about the speed of gravity. If you were a real physics guy you would understand that gravity is so incredibly weak a force that it's currently impossible to make such a measurement.

Tell me: did you major in Gender, Class and Minorities , and minor in Physics?

Posted by: Jim Sonweed at January 16, 2013 11:00 PM (HVtRc)

155 Night all. Here is Syd Barret's two solo albums: The Madcap Laughts: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qfrBVgGMl-o Barret: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zHRm6yWHyNk

Posted by: The Political Hat at January 16, 2013 11:00 PM (Vk2pI)

156 Alls I know is, if they exist, Kirk would fuck one...YO!

Posted by: BallOfHate at January 16, 2013 11:21 PM (ydcw9)

157 No, I double majored in Gender and Women's studies, just to make sure. If you read anything I wrote, you'd see that I mentioned how weak a force gravity was earlier. Moreover, we absolutely can measure gravity and have instruments designed to detect gravity waves (see MiniGrail and others). "The Einstein's "idea" is that nothing can move through space faster than light , but nothing in physics (at least as presently understood) prevents space itself from expanding at faster-than-light speeds. " You preface the statement with "no, it's not" but what you say echoes what I said. You aren't disagreeing with me by stating space can expand faster than c and "no thing" else can. The warp drive is based on this idea, that it's science fictional doesn't negate my point in bringing it up, namely that space can move faster than light--a point you "refuted" by agreeing with me. I only mentioned dark energy in response to post 69, that's how we got off on the digression, and I made my case in post 77. The simpler solution is we are wrong in an assumption, not that something else super massive and prevalent exists. Finally, in response to CAC's post I commented some about the possibilities for dark matter structures and organisms based on what we think we know of dark matter. Using WIMPS as my baseline, I looked at how they could interact to form complicated structures and what they could not do, since they do not interact with the EM force, they can't form anything like molecules as we know them. Since we know the ranges and strengths of the other forces they do use, we can put limits on what kind of interactions they might have. Moron is supposed to be an endearing term of affection, you don't have to go out of your way to earn it.

Posted by: .87c at January 16, 2013 11:27 PM (DDc3p)

158 Among other errors in the linked article on Zwicky, it misses entirely the work of Georges Lemaitre of Belgium and Edwin Hubble in the U.S., both of who anticipated Zwicky's findings by years -- in the case of Lemaitre, at least 4 years before Zwicky's first publication on 'dark matter', and in the case of Hubble, at least 2 years in relation to the constancy of cosmic expansion. Also, the 'delay' between the work of Lemaitre, Hubble and Zwicky and the computer simulations of Peebles and Ostriker is explained pretty damned easily once we reflect on the fact that HIGH SPEED COMPUTERS WEREN'T INVENTED YET. The entire body of work of the pre WWII European fundamental physics crowd is all the more remarkable given they were forced to do their work in their brains and on scraps of paper. Even something as basic as chaos theory had to await the invention of reliable high speed computation before confirmation. Now: back to guns and assorted paranoia about the Kenyan socialist president.

Posted by: Rex the Wonder God at January 16, 2013 11:32 PM (21TJo)

159 Oh, and, this just happened: http://uanews.org/story/dark-energy-alternatives-einstein-are-running-out-room A study of the PEMR has "excluded" nearly all of the dark energy models, leaving only those which are fundamentally indistinguishable from Einstein's Cosmological constant. So until we have better evidence that such a fantastic thing actually exists, I remain highly skeptical. But feel free to go ahead and attack my unscientific skepticism.

Posted by: .87c at January 16, 2013 11:35 PM (DDc3p)

160 #154

Actually, making shit up is a big part of science. The early part. Then comes experimentation and peer review.

Posted by: epobirs at January 16, 2013 11:37 PM (kcfmt)

161 Dark matter comes out of my digestive system after a couple of cups of coffee every morning.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at January 16, 2013 11:53 PM (XkWWK)

162 what would stop hypothetical intelligent dark matter organisms, organisms aware and intelligent enough to have discovered and observe regular matter...from deliberately influencing us?

The fact that they could only use gravity. They could build a giant dark star to suck us in and trap us, but that's about it.

Posted by: schizoid at January 17, 2013 01:07 AM (52CTi)

163 Kepler was a pussy.

Posted by: Quantum Zeno Effect at January 17, 2013 02:02 AM (Z5BDI)

164 Damn I want a fresh thread, I want to chat with sven and brandon about gaming again. Screw science!

Posted by: gigg at January 17, 2013 02:07 AM (dDD3H)

165 Even weirder, the closer they look at the atom the more they find nothing there but empty space. Is there going to be a test on this thread?

Posted by: Whatev at January 17, 2013 02:29 AM (lreFA)

166 Jesus... Did any of you know there was a 6 AM too?

Posted by: Truman North at January 17, 2013 02:36 AM (I2LwF)

167 Where's the morning thread already?

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at January 17, 2013 02:47 AM (XkWWK)

168 Is this where Dark-Wing-Duck came from?

Posted by: Killerdog at January 17, 2013 02:50 AM (Oi60j)

169 I have a life that involves a job, sex, not living with my parents, and having good skin, Sex? I thought you were married? Oh yeah, newlywed. My bad.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at January 17, 2013 02:54 AM (KZuD1)

170 Philip Pullman's "His Dark Materials" trilogy went to the place you're going. Primarily written for intelligent 12 year olds, but still a good read.

Posted by: perturbed at January 17, 2013 03:20 AM (u6Ueb)

171 My bong-induced thought last night was that our nation had been taken over by communists hell-bent on destroying our Republic. Oh wait....

Posted by: BlueStateRepub at January 17, 2013 05:00 AM (7ObY1)

172

Jack Nicholson. Easy Rider. Campfire scene.

Every idea seems like a big idea when you're high. Reading authors who write while high, like William S. Burroughs, tells you it looks like it was more fun to write than it is to read.

Posted by: troyriser at January 17, 2013 05:51 AM (vtiE6)

173 Could it be....SATAN?!?!?!

Posted by: Church Lady at January 17, 2013 12:50 PM (BL6W/)

174 Dark Matter doesn't interact with EM which is why it is dark and why we can't see it. No EM interaction means no chemistry (electrons make stuff stick together and have chemical properties)and no way to stick together. That means Dark matter is a diffuse gas-like invisible fluid that influence "normal" matter only via gravitational attraction to its widely spread out aggregate concentrations of mass. No chemistry probably means no possibility of life "as we know it" and only dumb gravitational mechanics at work.

Posted by: Cackfinger at January 17, 2013 02:29 PM (CCHli)

175 Phillip Pullman tried to put dark matter as the basis for all intelligence in his "His Dark materials Trilogy" which is essentially one long, wild eyed, spittle flecked Stephen King-esque "fuck you" to CS. Lewis. I was very disappointed when I finally read it with all my friend telling e how brilliant it was. Bleah.

Posted by: Cackfinger at January 17, 2013 02:38 PM (CCHli)

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