Ace of Spades HQ

May 12, 2013

Moar linky [Purp]
— Open Blogger

The New Yorker magazine takes the Benghazi talking points edits to task. Uh oh, the disease has gone airborne and is moving into the elite and royalty now. Shit status: real.

Expected network ad revenue expected to decline Shit status: yea baby.

Gwyneth Paltrow seems piqued that Psy doesn't know who her husband is. Sorry babe, neither do I and I don't care. Shit status: suck it up and cope.

Molly Ringwald still kinda cougar hot at 45. Amy Winehouse is still dead, so we'll never know if she'd have made it to cougar hot. Shit status: choices matter.

Claim iPad magnets can mess up your defibrillator implants. Shit status: real.

Deleted images can be recovered from phones. Shit status: worrisome for people named Anthony Weiner.

Bicycle wheel reinvented to eliminate spokes and bumpy rides. At Â£600 for a retrofit kit, it still seems pricy. Shit status: expensive.

Lucy Liu is pissed off about being type cast. I'd be too if I were her. Shit status: these tards are crazy, she's gorgeous.

70 years unoccupied apartment in Paris is a time capsule of pre-Nazi invasion. Shit status: old, intact.

FBI Supervisory SA and Quantico instructor arrested for murder of estranged wife. Naturally, he claims self-defense. The evidence must have indicated otherwise for the charges to be brought. Shit status: real as it gets.

Claim: Chinese hackers trying to steal F-35 JSF plans. Isn't it easier to just get an engineer put on the project? Yea, it is. Nobody's checking that shit. Shit status: busted.

Maryland...again.

A behavioral specialist for Harford County Public Schools has been indicted.
According to court records and photographic evidence, a grand jury indicted Stephanie Mikles with Â“unnatural or perverted sexual practice.Â”
The indictment goes on to state that Mikles had Â“sexual intercourse with a dog,Â”

Just for fun - a BING search for "rusty polarized diffusion cheese grater kills baby T-rex" I didn't expect any hits, but got 1,400+. Shit status: Wow

Posted by: Open Blogger at 04:50 PM | Comments (91)
Post contains 330 words, total size 4 kb.

1 Good evening Morons.

Posted by: Tobacco Road at May 12, 2013 04:51 PM (4Mv1T)

2 First! (Perhaps)

Posted by: I lurk, therefore I am at May 12, 2013 04:52 PM (QR2k5)

3 TR beats me. I acknowledge his speed.

Posted by: I lurk, therefore I am at May 12, 2013 04:52 PM (QR2k5)

4 Thanks Purp. Beer was getting a little stale at the hockey fight, er... game.

Posted by: Tobacco Road at May 12, 2013 04:54 PM (4Mv1T)

5 Hi. Are we the only 3 here?

Posted by: Muad'dib at May 12, 2013 04:54 PM (SCTXH)

6 I lurk- It was sheer luck. And hoping for that fresh thread smell.

Plus the lurkers come out with a new thread. Ever notice that? Even the regulars.

Posted by: Tobacco Road at May 12, 2013 04:55 PM (4Mv1T)

7 Muad'dib, what happened to Vlad the Impaler?

Posted by: I lurk, therefore I am at May 12, 2013 04:56 PM (QR2k5)

8 3-4 hours without fresh meat and the natives get restless.

Posted by: @PurpAv at May 12, 2013 04:56 PM (/gHaE)

9 TR. Looks like I'm the Zamboni.

Posted by: Golfman in NC at May 12, 2013 04:56 PM (/djtm)

10 Purp, what you do with your rusty polarized diffusion cheese grater is totally your business, but dude, don't fuck a puppeh with it

Posted by: chemjeff on the phone at May 12, 2013 04:56 PM (UsXLZ)

11 Ah Vlad. I have a story about that. But I have to wait until after 100 comments to share it. Spoiler alert.........Vlad is back home.

Posted by: Muad'dib at May 12, 2013 04:57 PM (SCTXH)

12 Check out Molly in the movie, "Malicious."

Posted by: pretty into pink at May 12, 2013 04:57 PM (YyEsL)

13 Not the Zamboni!

Posted by: Golfman in NC at May 12, 2013 04:57 PM (/djtm)

14 The indictment goes on to state that Mikles had Â“sexual intercourse with a dog,Â” A little [[b]NSFW] mood music: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vCNYK_9hKDk

Posted by: The Cuttlefish of Cthulhu at May 12, 2013 04:58 PM (Vk2pI)

15 To be cougar hot don't you have to be kind of hot in the first place. Winehouse? Can't imagine the nasties incubating in that.

Posted by: RWC at May 12, 2013 04:58 PM (Wl/Ht)

16 >>>3-4 hours without fresh meat and the natives get restless.

...or posting to their local gun thread. Some serious rants there, let me tell you.

They have a special thread that requires requested admittance, that is not open to public viewing. It's titled, "The Minefield."

Here, we just call it the "HQ".

Posted by: Tobacco Road at May 12, 2013 04:58 PM (4Mv1T)

CAN YOUR PUSSY DO THE DOG?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZfvCDyVlVIw

Posted by: The Cramps at May 12, 2013 04:59 PM (4mLhO)

18 Evening folks. Fucking allergies are killing me, so I will use this 80-proof allergy medicine and hope for the best.

Posted by: DC in Towson at May 12, 2013 05:00 PM (jIaZt)

19 SERIOUSLY now--Benghazi: any chance of something breaking for us in a big way on this or are we deluding ourselves that it's gaining legs?

Posted by: USS Diversity at May 12, 2013 05:00 PM (5wHPS)

20 What is a public school "behavioral specialist"?

Posted by: I lurk, therefore I am at May 12, 2013 05:01 PM (QR2k5)

21 DC. Works for me. At least I can sleep.

Posted by: Golfman in NC at May 12, 2013 05:01 PM (/djtm)

22 Sex w/a dog? A wiener dog?

Posted by: BignJames at May 12, 2013 05:01 PM (Sg0G/)

23 Gingers. We always rule.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Take us away. at May 12, 2013 05:02 PM (Gk3SS)

24 >>>At least I can sleep. Lights out in about 20 minutes, so I hope it works for me.

Posted by: DC in Towson at May 12, 2013 05:02 PM (jIaZt)

25 Golfman- From the last thread. Papers delivered near the VA in Fayetteville?

Indeed a small world.

Posted by: Tobacco Road at May 12, 2013 05:03 PM (4Mv1T)

26 USS Diversity, I am pessimistic. at this point I think the irs scandal might have more legs.

Posted by: chemjeff on the phone at May 12, 2013 05:03 PM (UsXLZ)

27 Yeah, Lucy Liu is hot.

But why's she complaining about being "held back"? Angelina Jolie did her best stuff in action / espionage (and the occasional indie or drama). Liu has the kind of face, figure and poise for those roles. As far as romantic comedies ... that takes a different kind of actress.

Anyway most romantic comedies are neither romantic nor funny.

Posted by: boulder hobo at May 12, 2013 05:04 PM (QTHTd)

28 Hi alexthechick! how are you this fine evening

Posted by: chemjeff on the phone at May 12, 2013 05:04 PM (UsXLZ)

29 Winehouse? Can't imagine the nasties incubating in that.

Right now? I'm guessing beetles, earthworms and the occasional mole

Posted by: boulder hobo at May 12, 2013 05:05 PM (QTHTd)

30 Hey think abouit this idea: Black holes are powerful not because they're so massive... But because they're so SMALL Shit status: whoa

Posted by: CAC at May 12, 2013 05:05 PM (7TwHV)

31 http://bit.ly/10kEkQ1
#BenghaziInFourWords
White Washing Under Pressure

Posted by: sTevo at May 12, 2013 05:05 PM (VMcEw)

32 Hi alexthechick! how are you this fine evening Posted by: chemjeff on the phone at May 12, 2013 09:04 PM (UsXLZ)

*waves*

Good. Tired. Went to the zoo with Mommy and my aunt today and All The Walking was done.

I got to see the lions though so that was good.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Take us away. at May 12, 2013 05:06 PM (Gk3SS)

33 Those loopwheels look like they'd have pretty poor lateral stability, too much flex and more aero drag. Really a bargain.

Posted by: DaveA at May 12, 2013 05:07 PM (DL2i+)

34 Moar linky? What difference, at this point, does it make?

Posted by: H.R.C. at May 12, 2013 05:07 PM (VIaw0)

35 Lucy Liu?? Meh, overrated. I'd even venture to say 'inscrewtable'.

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at May 12, 2013 05:08 PM (cfA74)

36 Lucky Number Slevin is a pretty decent flick, the Howard Hawks-style banter in a crime film is fun. And Lucy Liu is downright edible in this one.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at May 12, 2013 05:09 PM (MBqvE)

37 TR. Indeed. Still know all the street names. If you remember the tornado of 73. Had some neat access after. The police let us right through.

Posted by: Golfman in NC at May 12, 2013 05:09 PM (/djtm)

38 Cool WWII apartment story. Wonder if she left any wine or brandy.

Posted by: SwampFox at May 12, 2013 05:09 PM (yUS5D)

39 right chemjeff, hopefully one or the other or both

Posted by: USS Diversity at May 12, 2013 05:09 PM (5wHPS)

40 I got to see the lions though so that was good. Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Take us away. at May 12, 2013 09:06 PM (Gk3SS) Inspiration for the name of a new Ravage?

Posted by: I lurk, therefore I am at May 12, 2013 05:09 PM (QR2k5)

41 >>>What is a public school "behavioral specialist"?

In my jr. high school his name was Bruce Owens.

Assistant Principal, Administrator of Justice.

"Take your wallet out of your hip pocket, place it on the table there. Now lean over the back of this chair, place your hands in the seat, palms down, while I administer justice." ... with a sawed off canoe paddle.

Good times.

Fuckers.

Bad attitudes last a long time when you are wrongly "convicted".

Posted by: Tobacco Road at May 12, 2013 05:09 PM (4Mv1T)

42 http://au.news.yahoo.com/sunday-night/features/article/-/17094076/abandoned/

Posted by: biscuits mahoney at May 12, 2013 05:09 PM (avEon)

43 #38 OR TWINKIES

Posted by: CAC at May 12, 2013 05:10 PM (7TwHV)

44 alexthechick that is good, glad the lions didn't eat you this is for you http://tinyurl.com/cormlz3

Posted by: chemjeff on the phone at May 12, 2013 05:12 PM (UsXLZ)

45 Bad news: no photo of Barack Obama in that apartment. Obviously a racist!

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at May 12, 2013 05:14 PM (V1ZIU)

46 Tough decision: should I have more red wine, or a Coke?

Posted by: Trimegistus at May 12, 2013 05:14 PM (+vh1E)

47 41 I strive to attain such storytelling abilities and quick wit. Confident the HQ will get me there. If only the HQ could just help with my damn touchscreen typing.

Posted by: Golfman in NC at May 12, 2013 05:15 PM (/djtm)

48 Inspiration for the name of a new Ravage? Posted by: I lurk, therefore I am at May 12, 2013 09:09 PM (QR2k5)

Maaaaaybe.

this is for you

http://tinyurl.com/cormlz3 Posted by: chemjeff on the phone at May 12, 2013 09:12 PM (UsXLZ)

Heh. Those are cute.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Take us away. at May 12, 2013 05:15 PM (Gk3SS)

49 Tough decision: should I have more red wine, or a Coke? Posted by: Trimegistus at May 12, 2013 09:14 PM (+vh1E) Both.

Posted by: I lurk, therefore I am at May 12, 2013 05:15 PM (QR2k5)

50 What is a public school "behavioral specialist"?

They're people who tell you your kid is fucked up because they nibbled a pop tart into a forbidden shape.

Posted by: @PurpAv at May 12, 2013 05:16 PM (/gHaE)

51 Molly Ringwald was never particularly attractive.

(grin, duck, run)

(return)

Although the nips are kinda fetching, actually. And, she's got the forty's tummy-tum.

Not That There's Anything Wrong With That.

Posted by: filbert at May 12, 2013 05:16 PM (7vimm)

52 glad you like them alexthechick hope I still get to sleep indoors in alextopia

Posted by: chemjeff on the phone at May 12, 2013 05:17 PM (UsXLZ)

53 If you think Molly Ringwald is hot, you need to see an eye doctor. Saging tits and a belly are not a turn on, unless it's the ginger thing you are craving.

Posted by: Billy Bob, pseudo intellectal at May 12, 2013 05:18 PM (wR+pz)

54 Eh? Did somebody say something about moldy ringworm?

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at May 12, 2013 05:19 PM (pxDth)

55 I agree with Kuchinich, shit status: flaming

Posted by: Jean at May 12, 2013 05:20 PM (CMlD4)

56 Hit a record today 99 frigging degrees.

Posted by: mpfs at May 12, 2013 05:20 PM (TCy/B)

57 "I blame the YouTube video."

/all-purpose Get-Out-Of-Jail excuse for pretty much anything, any more.

Posted by: filbert at May 12, 2013 05:20 PM (7vimm)

58 @50- My son's HS guidance counselor called me when he was in 11th grade, with him sitting in her office, to tell me he'd be better off finishing HS at the community college adult education center. GED. She sat there and told me, in front of him, he should basically drop out.

He ultimately graduated HS a semester early, and went to school in Boston.

Make no mistake, he's an idiot musical savant, but they're just idiots.

Posted by: Tobacco Road at May 12, 2013 05:20 PM (4Mv1T)

59 And...a new one is up. Let the stompening begin.

Posted by: Tobacco Road at May 12, 2013 05:23 PM (4Mv1T)

Saging tits and a belly are not a turn on, unless it's the ginger thing you are craving.

Posted by: Billy Bob, pseudo intellectal at May 12, 2013 09:18 PM (wR+pz)

======

She was OK in Breakfast Club...... in the backseat of the car late on a school night.

Posted by: USS Diversity at May 12, 2013 05:24 PM (5wHPS)

61 hope I still get to sleep indoors in alextopia Posted by: chemjeff on the phone at May 12, 2013 09:17 PM (UsXLZ)

Mais naturellement!

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Take us away. at May 12, 2013 05:24 PM (Gk3SS)

62 That 70 yo. apt story is so odd. Why did she never go back? Did no one in the vicinity of the apt. wonder about it? No one goes in or out for 70 years?! She never wanted anything that she left behind, the painting? The love letters? Nothing?

I need more info....that article sucks.

Posted by: Tami [/i] at May 12, 2013 05:25 PM (X6akg)

63

Benghazi?
I blame Bush.

Posted by: Jay Carney at May 12, 2013 05:26 PM (D00cy)

64 Saging tits and a belly are not a turn on, unless it's the ginger thing you are craving.

Posted by: Billy Bob, pseudo intellectal at May 12, 2013 09:18 PM (wR+pz)

Show us your six pack!

Posted by: Tami [/i] at May 12, 2013 05:26 PM (X6akg)

65 What is a public school "behavioral specialist"? Posted by: I lurk, therefore I am at May 12, 2013 09:01 PM (QR2k5) It's like the experiments of Pavlov. I think she misunderstood what Pavlov did with his dog, though...

Posted by: The Political Hat at May 12, 2013 05:27 PM (Vk2pI)

66 55 I agree with Kuchinich, shit status: flaming Posted by: Jean at May 12, 2013 09:20 PM (CMlD4) He was on Fox this morning. Heard it was worth watching. Chris wallace's show I believe.

Posted by: RWC at May 12, 2013 05:30 PM (Wl/Ht)

67 Show us your six pack! Posted by: Tami at May 12, 2013 09:26 PM (X6akg) Don't know how to post it, but I am 20 years older than her, and I my girl friend isn't that rough looking. Just saying, I can do some fucking crunches. Eat your heart out.

Posted by: Billy Bob, pseudo intellectal at May 12, 2013 05:31 PM (wR+pz)

68 I can just imagine the personal-ad profile.

"45/f seeking loyal, frisky companion"

Posted by: boulder hobo at May 12, 2013 05:32 PM (QTHTd)

69 Parisian time capsule shit status should have been petrified.

Posted by: losthusker at May 12, 2013 05:34 PM (4X6Eh)

70 Lucy Liu needs to quit complaining. She's still working steady, and at an age where most female--and many male--actors are relegated to character roles. Funny, i was flipping channels the other day and saw her in a movie I can't name where she played the neighbor coming over to borrow sugar or something. She was fully clothed in baggy PJs and bathrobe, and was all flirty and goofy. Totally stole my heart in about 30 seconds on-screen. I'll admit I've always had a slight crush on Ms. Liu. The order of protection was a complete overreaction on her part, and the stalking charges are complete bullshit. I have every confidence I will be completely vindicated at trial.

Posted by: Rufus T. Firefly at May 12, 2013 05:37 PM (PwV7G)

71 Lucy Lui is a hypocrite. she made a career at exploiting asian tiger woman stereotypes and now laments that she is type-casted? she is attractive though. ps- i think she caused Ally McBeal to jump the shark

Posted by: Avi at May 12, 2013 05:38 PM (z9OI2)

72 It's a hockey fight below, and WWII above. Think I'll chill here for while. Aired enough old laundry tonight, that's been liberated by just enough scotch.

I'll just shut up and lurk for a bit.

Posted by: Tobacco Road at May 12, 2013 05:38 PM (4Mv1T)

73 It's Bulleit's 95% rye whiskey for me tonight. Shit puts the "v" in smoove.

Posted by: Rufus T. Firefly at May 12, 2013 05:43 PM (PwV7G)

74 My son came and replaced the broken door knob in the front door. This was a Big Deal, as I couldn't replace it myself and the door wouldn't open.

So that was a good Mother's Day present. My daughter gave me a beautiful card with some Holy Water from Lourdes, which I may have to use if this stupid sinus headache doesn't go away.

So I am heading to bed and intend to sleep late tomorrow and hope I can kick this incipient cold.

Good night, all.

Posted by: Miss Marple at May 12, 2013 05:46 PM (GoIUi)

75 Night, Miss Marple....happy Mother's day and I hope you feel better!

Posted by: Tami [/i] at May 12, 2013 05:50 PM (X6akg)

76 Molly Ringwald? Screen door... Hurricane... Y'all know that bangin' sound......

Posted by: rightwingdeathbeast at May 12, 2013 05:51 PM (P3/VY)

77 Molly Ringwald HAS NEVER BEEN, (nor shall ever be), "hot."

Listen. I like redheads on a meta-physical, DNA-level. That "kind-of-cute", good actress does not qualify as "hot" on any level --ever.

Put her on a Harley, -still not hot.
Put her behind a podium describing Liberty, -cute
Put her in another 80's movie, describing Liberty, on a Harley with boobs exposed, -nice n' cute. --still NOT hot.

"Hot" is a "Nine-out-of-Ten" phenomenon. In other words, only one-in-ten AMERICAN women qualify. Don't even get me started on "exotic" bullshit.

She's cute. Period. Nicole Kidman doesn't even qualify as "hot" after disqualifying opinions and perceived acting skill.

If I happen to be a case-study in "chauvinism", so be it. She's not hot. She's cute.

-So sayeth Slappy.

Posted by: Slapweasel at May 12, 2013 05:51 PM (7gwGw)

78 Oh come on, maybe not so much now, but Kidman wasn't hot in the beginning, particularly Billy Bathgate, go in the barrel.

Posted by: cornelius, waiting for the Cobalt bomb at May 12, 2013 05:57 PM (Jsiw/)

79 Considering how wildly overpriced and underperforming the JSF is turning out, wouldn't it almost be an act of war to give them the plans?

Posted by: cthulhu at May 12, 2013 05:58 PM (tyF2+)

80 If you know any Asian jerks and you really want to piss them off, mention that you think Lucy Liu is good-looking. They'll take it as a racial insult, and they'll return in kind. White people thinking she's not ugly is such infuriating proof of our inferiority, they'll blow the fuck up on you.

So don't say it to a Chinese guy who owns a tank.

Seriously, it's a huge thing. "Lucy liu ugly" is one of the bait phrases malware sites put in their page code to attract unwary surfers. It's that big.

Posted by: oblig. at May 12, 2013 06:04 PM (cePv8)

81 Another boring episode of Game of Thrones. Not even the nudity is able to keep my attention.

Posted by: perdogg at May 12, 2013 06:05 PM (ziD3M)

82 Pushing Daisies marathon on Chill all day.

Posted by: Rufus T. Firefly at May 12, 2013 06:26 PM (PwV7G)

83 Dogman baby?

Posted by: Andrew "Horseman Baby" Mendoza at May 12, 2013 06:45 PM (EZl54)

84 Lucy Liu? Is she the one hollywood keeps giving acting roles to because she sorta looks like that asian pron model?

Posted by: Obamao at May 12, 2013 06:52 PM (JtyGg)

85 Ringwold has gotten better with age. The Paree apartment was pretty cool. Gwenhth Paltrow needs needs a good screw. HillAry will probably skate over the Benghazi kerfuffle. And dammit Vikings ain't on tonight. At least there's Mad Men.

Posted by: Secret squirrel at May 12, 2013 08:21 PM (0SmH0)

86 OK, I know social cons hate us libertarians and say we want people to screw animals, but... how much taxpayer money will be spent trying, convicting, imprisoning, feeding and clothing this woman? Plus the social services support she'll need while she's trying to find a new job after she's served her sentence? I'm sorry, but if people aren't doing it in the streets, I don't give a fuck. Be whatever sick fuck you want as long as I don't see it and it doesn't cost me money. Arresting her is costing me money.

Posted by: Taro Tsujimoto at May 13, 2013 12:21 AM (celt+)

87 obsequious shoe lace masterbation yields 112

Posted by: chicago voeter at May 13, 2013 06:15 AM (AQpnq)

88 Lucy Liu is darn near the perfect-looking woman. Not quite in Nicole Kidman territory, now, but damn close.

80 If you know any Asian jerks and you really want to piss them off, mention that you think Lucy Liu is good-looking. They'll take it as a racial insult, and they'll return in kind. White people thinking she's not ugly is such infuriating proof of our inferiority, they'll blow the fuck up on you.
*
*
I don't get it. Why would this be a racial insult? Bizarro World.

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius at May 13, 2013 06:37 AM (BDU/a)

89 And yes, Molly Ringwald is still great-looking. She's sorta grown into her face, if you know what I mean.

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius at May 13, 2013 06:38 AM (BDU/a)

Well I'll go with the "racist" claim of Ms. Liu--typecast as a hot Asian skank--but you know, you are what you look like.

As for Ms. Ringwald--she's got an innie showing in that dress. But what the heck, built for comfort not for speed.

And as for that Maryland school "specialist", well I can set her up with a threesome. A Great White Pyrnenese and a big black Newfoundland would let her show that she's an equal opportunity dog screwer.

Posted by: Comanche Voter at May 13, 2013 06:49 AM (oe1aw)

91 Did it ever occur to Lucy Liu to consider that being Asian and being able to do action scenes is the reason that she has been such a big success in Hollywood? Has she considered what her career would have been like if she looked like one of the hundreds of thousands of non-quite-beautiful white girls with not-quite-big-enough-tits that graduate from high school every year with a drama focus and hopes of getting a shot in a TV show?

Posted by: JGlanton at May 13, 2013 09:21 AM (xea5A)

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