September 07, 2013

Movie Review: Now You See Me
— Ace

Now out on DVD and available for PPV.

Director Louis Leterrier (Clash of the Titans, The Incredible Hulk) summons the spirit of the TBS heist series "Leverage" and picks the pockets of the magical puzzle movie The Prestige and combines them to stage an audacious illusion: A very dumb movie inside which is hidden a clever movie, which itself conceals a movie which is actually even dumber than you first thought. But dumb in a fun way.

Somehow managing to levitate a premise-heavy gimmick movie into the air, he conjures up a fun, dumb, fast-paced, dumb, outrageous, dumb, compelling, dumb, watchable, dumb, and tricky (but in dumb-tricky sort of way) enjoyably dumb thriller/con caper movie, a veritable Feast for the Eye-Rolling.

The movie starts by introducing four street magicians of varying levels of success. Danny Atlas (Jesse Eisenberg) is the "hottest" magician at the moment, sort of like David Blaine when he was just on the cusp of becoming truly famous and Annoying Everyone. Merritt McKinney (Woody Harrelson) is a once-famous mentalist now on the downward slide of living hand-to-mouth off petty blackmail shakedowns. Henley Reeves (Isla Fisher) is a former assistant to Danny Atlas (and yes, it's the sort of movie where people are named "Danny Atlas" and "Henley Reeves" and of course must have had some kind of former romantic involvement, despite her being hot and him looking like Mark Zuckerberg, because Shut Up It's The Rule). She's now a magician on her own, doing some kind of Underground/Rave Circuit escapology act that the Hipster Kids really love, because if there's one thing Hipster Kids really love, it's enjoying magic acts in a non-ironic way.

Meanwhile, a guy who's barely in the movie, played by Dave Franco (James Franco's brother), is named, and I'm not even kidding about this, "Jack Wilder," and yes, as a matter of fact he does do a lot of interesting tricks with playing cards, why do you ask? In addition to being a specialist in pickpocketing and sleight-of-hand and being named Jack Wilder, he's also a petty thief.

This Ocean's Four are recruited by a Mysterious Figure in a Gray Hoodie, a man (???) whose face is never seen, for Unknown Purposes, but it seems to have something to do with the old Egyptian hieroglyph for the Eye of Horus. It's actually all kind of fun and silly in a Dr. Who sort of way.

It's the kind of movie where people explore dark and mysterious apartments with flashlights they Just Happened to Be Carrying (because Shut Up) but you kind of don't notice because Hey Look at the Cool Holographic Images That Are Playing Now.

Cut to One Year Later -- and this cut to One Year Later is where the entire trick of the movie resides, as I'll talk about in a second -- and these four have now joined forces as the "Four Horsemen," who appear to be a wildly-successful magic act playing for an ecstatic crowd in Las Vegas. And tonight, they have a very special Trick, apparently one they've been promising for months during their rise to fame-- they're going to pick a random person out of the crowd and rob that person's bank for him, right from the stage.

What? Wait a minute, Movie, did you just drop me into the middle of an Absurd Ridiculous Premise without so much as giving me the smallest amount of foreshadowing, explanation, or rationalization for it first?

You sure did, Movie. You sure did. And I can't even hold it against you too much, Movie, because now I want to see how they're going to do this.

Let's skip ahead and just note they do in fact seem to rob a bank -- halfway around the world, in Paris -- right from the stage. And while it's not a crime to pretend to rob a bank as part of a magic act, it is a crime to really rob that bank... which, the FBI soon learns, is sort of what actually happened.

Those three million Euros they dropped on the crowd at the end of their "illusion"? Yes, it turns out those three million Euros went missing from the Credit Republicain bank at the exact moment they claimed to be robbing it, using... um, "magical teleportation."

Or maybe they're lying about that. Yes, they're almost certainly lying.

But then how did they do it?

And why? They're now in-demand entertainers. Why rob a bank? Looks like they're selling out major auditoriums. They're on the path to becoming rich.

What the hell is going on? Fifteen minutes in and already nothing makes sense. Most movies don't start not making sense until the middle of Act II.

This movie is so incredibly dumb, but it's so well-meaning in its dumbness. It's like a Big Dumb Puppy that's clumsy on its feet and just keeps bopping you in the groin with its big dumb puppy head and it slobbers all over you and sometimes it chews the furniture or drops a Puppy Poop but it's actually Trying, it its own dumb, relentlessly ingratiating manner, and simply trying puts it several steps above many other movies they're making these days.

They're not heavy hitters. They don't hit any home runs. What they do instead is make contact with the ball and get on base and then begin stealing bases left and right, ultimately stealing home, or perhaps getting called out at the plate by Your Brain, but you'll have to umpire that call yourself.

The magic of the movie lies in that One Year Later cut. It conceals so much. It conceals everything. In much the same way that you never see the magician building his trick cabinets and trap doors and fake swords for a year before the show, you never see the "Four Horsemen" preparing, or even discussing what exactly it their motivation and goal here is.

That means an awful lot of awful scenes in the movie, which would be Painfully Stupid and Implausible if you were forced to sit through them, actually aren't even in the movie at all. You're forced to provide your own explanation for what happened in that Missing Year, at least for most of the movie, and wait for the movie to confirm those guesses or provide other answers.

So that means that major questions -- including some which frankly never have a good answer -- aren't answered until almost the end of the movie, when it's frankly way too late to complain much about it. Basic questions, like:

What exactly is the goal here? This is a con movie, that's obvious enough; and sure, magicians are basically Theatrical Con Artists, so it's plausible enough they'd make for a good con/theft team. But who is the target? Who is the mark?

They don't tell you. Eventually you'll know who the target is -- at the moment the Target Himself knows who the target is -- but until then, you're just trying to catch up with the movie, almost as if you've missed three or four critical reels of the film.

Which is exactly what you've missed. Three or four critical reels of this film are just missing, and so for the rest of the movie you're going to be behind it. Even though the movie is Dumb and you are probably Smart, the movie has a big advantage on you when it's cut out the three or four reels of the film that explain everything up front.

And speaking of Critical Character Motivations the movie doesn't supply until the end...

Why are these four people, two of whom have clean criminal records, willing to openly and arrogantly taunt the FBI and Interpol over their robbing of a bank? What promised reward could possibly justify such absurdly reckless behavior?

The movie just says, "Don't think so hard about it, Braniac. We'll get to that when we get to that." By the time you do get to it, you hardly notice that it doesn't make any sense because you've had so many other things that don't make sense thrown at you in the interim.

And what the Hell is Michael Caine doing here all of a sudden? Morgan Freeman I understand; of course Morgan Freeman is suddenly in this movie For No Reason Whatsoever. That's sort of his Thing.

But what about Michael Caine? He seems to have teleported in from The Prestige, actually. Why is this millionaire suddenly the Mysterious Benefactor of four formerly-unknown street magicians?

The real trick of this film is the trick Gandalf used to trick Beorn into permitting all thirteen dwarves (and Bilbo) to eat lunch at his house when he initially only thought he'd be serving three. By telling a fun story with cliffhangers and dangling mysteries, he was able to smuggle more and more Dwarves to the lunch party.

This movie does the same thing, except instead of suddenly introducing more Dwarves, it keeps on introducing more Preposterous Premises. And before you know it there's a Baker's Dozen of them.

Plus a Hobbit.

The experience of watching the movie is essentially a dialogue between the movie and Your Brain:

MOVIE: Okay, there's going to be a few premises you're going to have to grant me here, but if you grant me them, I promise this will be a fun movie with twists and all that good stuff.

YOUR BRAIN: Okay just get on with it.

MOVIE: So anyway Jessie Eisenberg is such a Cassanova that female fans are crazed to get into bed with him, and Isla Fischer still pines for him ---

YOUR BRAIN: So like does he have a winning personality?

MOVIE: No, not really a winning personality. He's more of a Gigantic Douche type.

YOUR BRAIN: So... I don't understand. Has he hypnotized her? Is he the hypnotist one?

MOVIE: No, that's Woody Harrelson.

YOUR BRAIN: Then what's his specialty? Rufie Magic?

MOVIE: Can I just tell this story?

YOUR BRAIN: Fine. Get on with it.

MOVIE: So then the gang begins staging Impossible Illusions because Mirrors and Holograms Can Do Anything--

YOUR BRAIN: Wait, they can do anything? That's ridiculous.

MOVIE (fakes a chuckle): Oh yes that would be ridiculous. I was just kidding. Ha ha ha.

YOUR BRAIN: Oh okay, ha ha ha.

MOVIE (under its breath): I just meant Mirrors and Holograms Can Do Most Things.

YOUR BRAIN: What? I didn't quite hear that.

MOVIE: Nothing, nevermind. So like I was saying, this Secret and Ancient Fraternal Order I had previously mentioned--

YOUR BRAIN: You didn't mention a "Secret and Ancient Fraternal Order" before.

MOVIE (tugs ear nervously): I'm quite certain I did.

YOUR BRAIN: First I'm hearing of it. What do you mean by "Secret"?

MOVIE: You know how Keyser Sosa was supposedly a big secret but everyone knew about it except the One Guy they needed to tell the legend to?

YOUR BRAIN: Yeah.

MOVIE: Well it's secret like that.

YOUR BRAIN: Okay, what about "Ancient"? How ancient? Like the Freemasons?

MOVIE: Older.

YOUR BRAIN: Like the DaVinci Code?

MOVIE: Older.

YOUR BRAIN: Older than the DaVinci Code? What the hell kind of movie is this? It's starting to sound like you're just making all of this up as you go.

MOVIE: No, we had a script.

YOUR BRAIN: A finished script?

MOVIE: (Shrugs.)

YOUR BRAIN: Okay. Whatever. Just promise me that when this is all over, you're going to give me a good explanation for all this nonsense at the end.

MOVIE (wipes large amount of sweat from brow): I promise, at the end you'll definitely have an explanation.

YOUR BRAIN: I said a "good explanation."

MOVIE: What is "Good," anyway? Isn't one man's "good" another man's "slapdash and contrived"?

YOUR BRAIN: Not really, no.

MOVIE: Agree to disagree. Do you want to know about the bank robbery or what?

YOUR BRAIN: Is the bank robbery explanation going to make sense at least?

MOVIE: Absolutely! (under breath) Mostly.

YOUR BRAIN: Fine. Then tell me about the bank robbery...

Early in the movie, Morgan Freeman, who's one of those guys who makes millions of dollars by putting out videos revealing magician's tricks (What?! What kind of guys are those? Shut Up, the movie explained), explains to the lead FBI investigator the basic principle of magic:

Whenever the magician is saying "Look at this big magic trick over here," you can be damn sure the actual trick is taking place well away from where you're looking.

And so it is with Now You See Me, where, in a funny kind of way, the real magic is in the things you don't see, and the little movies you make in your head when you're trying to figure it out.

It's also the sort of movie where people casually mention a great magician named Lionel Shrike, who died performing a Houdini-esque escape, and you just know that a half hour later they're going to say "And of course his body was never found," but you're wrong, because they don't say that a half hour later, they say that ten seconds later.

His body was never found. Of course his body was never found. Why bother even being cute about it? We all know it's coming.

This kind of movie wouldn't be This Kind of Movie if there wasn't a Mysteriously Important Unseen Character who died under ambiguous circumstances whose body was never found.

Deal with it. Now let's talk about the second heist.

Recommended, but only if you're in a silly sort of mood and are willing to swallow some Ridiculous Premises without too much complaint.

Keep the comments free from any spoilers or even hints. Do not discuss anything that happens beyond the first half hour. I have a Spoiler Review in me that I think explains how the movie gets away with some of its Persistent Egregious Shenanigans and Nonsense, but I'm not posting it because the only thing that makes this movie interesting at all is trying to keep up with Whatever Stupid Thing Is Going to Happen Next, so please don't ruin it for anyone like that.

I'll post that spoilerish analysis some other time. No Spoilers!

Bonus Compliment: The director staged a wonderful footchase in the favellas around Rio in The Incredible Hulk. I think footchases are a very underrated and underutilized bit in movies.

Anyway, he demonstrates again that he's good at footchases by staging another one here. Plus a cramped-quarters hand-to-hand fight that is much better than it needed to be. I'd say it was like the fight in the Bourne Idenity, except far far stupider and employing Magical Tricks.

The X-Men: Days of Homages Present. The movie has a weird X-Man vibe, from the Specialty Powers to the half-hearted attempts at character interactions. (The X-Men movies, all of them, did this better than this movie.)

Here's the weird X-Man thing. First of all, it has the Professor X problem. Professor X is far too powerful. He doesn't seem powerful, because he's an old crippled bald guy with a bad case of Jean-Luc Face. But his power is controlling everyone.

That's a big deal.

This is why every X-Man movie must get rid of Professor X halfway through the movie. Because if Professor X is around for the big fight at the end, there's not going to be a big fight at the end. A man who can control people's minds at will does not need to fight.

In this movie, which is dumb, Woody Harrelson has the power to Hypnotize people to do pretty much whatever he wants. If there are limitations on this ability, the movie does not name them. He can even hypnotize people over the phone.

Not only is this Ridiculous, but we have the Professor X problem: If you have Woody Harrelson and his ability to hypnotize everyone into doing exactly what he wants, why do you need anyone else? Or even a plan, beyond "Have Woody Harrelson hypnotize everyone and make everything we want to happen, happen."

The movie deals with this by not dealing with it. Harrelson doesn't use this implausible ability (the only truly This Is Stupid ability) very often. They just use it when they Have To. And even when they Have To, there were other possible ways around the problem; so why stick this ridiculous superpower in there at all?

The other X-Men, I mean Horsemen, included Rogue, I mean Isla Fisher, who, for no good reason, wears gloves the entire movie except for one scene (and in that scene she's doing lock-picking underwater, so she couldn't wear gloves there).

Why does she always wear gloves, just like Rogue? I assume just to bother me.

Then "Jack Wilder" has a mixture of Gambit's Kinetic Playing Card Throwing power (but not a real superpower; just like, "he's really good at it"). Plus, Out of Nowhere, he suddenly picks up a bit of Beast's super-agility for a couple of scenes.

Finally, Jesse Eisenberg doesn't really have superpowers, except some kind of Mental Control Over Ass, but he does have one of the X-Men's personalities. He's a dickish control freak and the team leader, even though it seems like other people are better suited for the role.

He's Cyclops, then.

Why is this happening? Why does "Jack Wilder" throw exploding playing cards (or flash paper or something) and look exactly, and I do mean exactly, like Gambit did doing the same thing?

Why is the director of Marvel's The Incredible Hulk going out of his way to make a movie about illusionist con artists sort of seem like it's Marvel's X-Men of Stage Magic?

I have no idea.

Just a weird mystery tucked into this Big Dumb Goof of a Movie.

Posted by: Ace at 01:46 PM | Comments (216)
Post contains 2971 words, total size 17 kb.

1

Thanks, Ace.

 

I thought it was disappointing...and the twist at the end was lame.

Posted by: wheatie at September 07, 2013 01:49 PM (Hy+VQ)

2 I actually liked it as big dumb fun. I did watch it after Pain and Gain so anything was a stepup from that

Posted by: The Dude at September 07, 2013 01:50 PM (vJdyz)

3 Well done, Ace; this is why I wanted you to see this movie. btw, did you notice there is no mention at all to the extremely high-tech gadgetry, not to mention the big support team needed to set up all the trickery?

Posted by: soothsayer at September 07, 2013 01:51 PM (fDrHh)

4 I couldn't finish watching this movie. I tried to watch twice, got drunk as shit, and still I could not tolerate the rank stupidity. Good Lord, can no one come up with and tell a good story on film anymore? It sure as hell wasn't worth the five buck I spent. I hate movies that make me lose IQ points, even if the effect is only temporary.

Posted by: Jack at September 07, 2013 01:53 PM (gWHwW)

5 Saw this turd in the movie theater with my bro-in-law and some co-workers. What a piece of shit. The only thing my bro-in-law and I enjoyed was the over the top groaners that were the "plot twists". We would just turn and laugh at eachother.

Posted by: HoboJerky, Hash Hunter at September 07, 2013 01:54 PM (CgVEi)

6 And it wasn't the five bucks that I miss, it was my time.

Posted by: Jack at September 07, 2013 01:54 PM (gWHwW)

7 I lost like $10, because SEATTLE

Posted by: HoboJerky, Hash Hunter at September 07, 2013 01:55 PM (CgVEi)

8 Alls I can say, Ace, is its a damn good thing you got your own blog.

Posted by: the littl shyning man at September 07, 2013 01:55 PM (3oiHp)

9 Hmmm. For that sort of movie to work for me I need an above-average score and/or an actor I really find captivating... and perfect pacing. No slow sections. 'Can't tell if this movie has that.

Posted by: Y-not at September 07, 2013 01:57 PM (5H6zj)

10 Georgias QB Aaron Murray's goto HS & 2yrs uga Orson Charles (Bengals) on a recruiting visit dropped Florida's 2006 Championship Trophy, breaking the Crystal

Posted by: Nuk3Dawg at September 07, 2013 01:57 PM (u0X4Z)

11

Jessie Eisenberg...who plays 'Danny'...is even more annoying than Shia Laboef.

 

So, of course, Hollywood probably loves him.

Posted by: wheatie at September 07, 2013 01:58 PM (Hy+VQ)

12 Reading this movie review sounds like something Mr Y-not would write for Hudson Hawk, a movie he likes -- for some reason. I finally watched it last night and found it an epic fail, but for him I think it kind of works the way this movie kind of works for you.

Posted by: Y-not at September 07, 2013 01:58 PM (5H6zj)

13 I liked the part where Morgan Freeman jumped his unicycle into the bank's chimney.

Posted by: Gristle Encased Head at September 07, 2013 02:00 PM (SJQrC)

14 It occurs to me that Leverage always irritates me for some of the same reasons that this movie might. There's a fine line between lazy and clever plot devices and despite its slick look Leverage strikes me as a little lazy.

Posted by: Y-not at September 07, 2013 02:01 PM (5H6zj)

15 Apparently I killed the thread.

Posted by: Y-not at September 07, 2013 02:04 PM (5H6zj)

16 Spoiler: The preznit gets it in the end...

Posted by: Reggie Love at September 07, 2013 02:05 PM (Pr6hk)

17 I'll post that spoilerish analysis some other time. No Spoilers! Fuck the spoilers. Brian Dennehy did it.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at September 07, 2013 02:06 PM (MBqvE)

18 Spoiler:  The preznit will be challenged

Posted by: Sheriff Joe at September 07, 2013 02:06 PM (Pr6hk)

19 I'd go see this just my kid and Dave Franco accidentally caused a lot of damage to their dorm room at USC back in the day and worked it out with honor. Love that kid. (And my own).

Posted by: SeattleMom at September 07, 2013 02:06 PM (2tljF)

20 That one part where Jesse Eisenberg stole the Declaration of Independence from the President and replaced it with a Denny's menu was hilarious!

Posted by: Gristle Encased Head at September 07, 2013 02:07 PM (SJQrC)

21

Kind of hard to comment, without being spoilerish...

 

But this movie, for all it's flashiness and lens flares, seemed like a Pilot...more than a stand-alone movie.

 

It laid down a lot of storyline establishing this  "Secret and Ancient Fraternal Order"...which apparently has a lot of resources to sponsor Ops like the one this movie was about.

 

But we're not allowed to 'see' much about this secret Order of the Eye.

Which leaves the door open to delve into it further...in either a series, or sequels.

 

Posted by: wheatie at September 07, 2013 02:07 PM (Hy+VQ)

22 Spoiler: The calvary never shows up.

Posted by: Ambassador Stevens at September 07, 2013 02:07 PM (Pr6hk)

23 Spoiler: Old Yeller dies... and was finger lickin' good

Posted by: Colonel Sanders Soetoro at September 07, 2013 02:09 PM (Pr6hk)

24 Spoiler:  I wasn't hacked

Posted by: Danger, Carlos Danger - Agent Double O Naught at September 07, 2013 02:11 PM (Pr6hk)

25 Spoiler: Shane dies at the end.

Posted by: Underground Vulgarian at September 07, 2013 02:11 PM (yF8OY)

26 Unbeliavable. Must have been sleight of hand but half my brain disappeared before I was a third of the way through the review.

Posted by: Guido 'the cat had to wake his ass up' at September 07, 2013 02:11 PM (JvtXj)

27 Spoiler: They hid the money in the volcano.

Posted by: weft cut-loop [/i] [/b] at September 07, 2013 02:12 PM (KDq5l)

28

O/T...but still about movies:

 

'Sharknado' is now being offered on Cable's OnDemand channel.

With "previously unreleased" scenes!

 

I think Ace should get some royalties for making this movie the 'sensation' it came to be.

Posted by: wheatie at September 07, 2013 02:12 PM (Hy+VQ)

29 I JUST watched this movie with my kids.  As in 30 minutes ago.  Weird, huh?

btw, did you notice there is no mention at all to the extremely high-tech gadgetry, not to mention the big support team needed to set up all the trickery?

As a matter of fact, yes, I did.  As an engineer, that pretty much blew up the whole premise of the movie.  Sorry, I don't care how clever you are or how much money is "backing" your criminal enterprise: that's just too many highly trained experts you need, and that means either a) something goes wrong, or b)someone won't keep their mouth shut.

Also, the bit where people getting ________ed and doing ridiculous things is bullcrap. (Watch the movie and you'll now what I'm referring to.  That crap doesn't happen in real life.)

The acting and special effects aren't bad.  But the plot holes are big enough to hold an several planetoids.

So I guess I just could not suspend my disbelief, leading to movie fail for me....

Posted by: Tex Lovera at September 07, 2013 02:12 PM (dKrez)

30 Spoiler: The Titanic sinks at the end.

Posted by: Underground Vulgarian at September 07, 2013 02:12 PM (yF8OY)

31 Spoiler:  The governor goes to jail

Posted by: Illinois Voters at September 07, 2013 02:13 PM (Pr6hk)

32 Spoiler: It was all a dream and she never really left Kansas.

Posted by: Dick "I'm A Dick" Durbin at September 07, 2013 02:13 PM (9ng2u)

33 Spoiler: The call is coming from inside the house!

Posted by: Underground Vulgarian at September 07, 2013 02:13 PM (yF8OY)

34 Spoiler: Han shot first.

Posted by: Tex Lovera at September 07, 2013 02:14 PM (dKrez)

35 Spoiler:  The dress didn't make it to the dry cleaners

Posted by: Bill from Chappaqua at September 07, 2013 02:14 PM (Pr6hk)

36 Spoiler: It's a sled

Posted by: Y-not at September 07, 2013 02:14 PM (5H6zj)

37 Spoiler: Bruce Willis is dead.

Posted by: Underground Vulgarian at September 07, 2013 02:15 PM (yF8OY)

38 Spoiler: I'm not the worst preznit in your lifetime

Posted by: James from Plains, Georgia at September 07, 2013 02:15 PM (Pr6hk)

39 Spoiler: I'm a pûssy

Posted by: John Boehner at September 07, 2013 02:16 PM (Pr6hk)

40 Spoiler: I'm a petty dumb old crank

Posted by: Juan McLame at September 07, 2013 02:18 PM (Pr6hk)

41 Spoiler: Oldsmobiles aren't sea worth

Posted by: Teddy Kennedy at September 07, 2013 02:21 PM (Pr6hk)

42 Spoiler: http://scoamf.us/spoiler

Posted by: Underground Vulgarian at September 07, 2013 02:21 PM (yF8OY)

43 Spoiler: The glass slipper fits

Posted by: Mike Hammer at September 07, 2013 02:23 PM (aDwsi)

44 dammit ace my spleen had just healed from laughing at the kaboom post and now it's broken again I'm sending you another bill

Posted by: rain of lead at September 07, 2013 02:24 PM (J/npG)

45 Spoiler: The red line was drawn by Bush

Posted by: Mike Hammer at September 07, 2013 02:25 PM (aDwsi)

46

To me Jesse Eisenberg is who Hollywood gets for a character they really wanted Michael Cera to play but just couldn't afford him.  He's Michael Cera v1.5 or v0.5 depending on how you look at it.

Posted by: buzzion at September 07, 2013 02:25 PM (LI48c)

47 Spoiler: Rosebud was a sled.

Posted by: jakeman at September 07, 2013 02:25 PM (GXKTh)

48 The big twist is that Woody Harrelson and Jessie Eisenberg have bee dead the whole time.....They're GHOSTS!

Posted by: Dr. Malcom Crowe at September 07, 2013 02:26 PM (7x9pP)

49 Spoiler: The girlfriend was a composite.

Posted by: Mike Hammer at September 07, 2013 02:27 PM (aDwsi)

50 Spoiler: When I said "red line" I was talking about the T route that runs NW/SE through Boston. Clearly, Assad did not cross that.

Posted by: jakeman at September 07, 2013 02:27 PM (GXKTh)

51 Spoiler: Labor Participation rate falls

Posted by: Mike Hammer at September 07, 2013 02:30 PM (aDwsi)

52

Spoiler: Vader is Luke's father.

 

Oh wait George Lucas already ruined that because he can't write a story to keep that twist in place.

Posted by: buzzion at September 07, 2013 02:30 PM (LI48c)

53 That was 17 dumbs (or some variation).  Tell us how you really feel!

Posted by: Chris at September 07, 2013 02:31 PM (ceolo)

54 Spoiler:  That wasn't 'workplace violence'

Posted by: Major Nidal Hasan at September 07, 2013 02:32 PM (Pr6hk)

55 Spoiler:  Clint was right

Posted by: MT Chair at September 07, 2013 02:33 PM (Pr6hk)

56 On my way to see this movie tonight. Even if its eye rolling. I,m ahead since my friend wanted to see The Butler.

Posted by: Mayday at September 07, 2013 02:33 PM (eHc+1)

57 I actually knew a guy named Jack Wilder.  He and his wife ran a bar at Vallecito, CO in the 1980s.

Posted by: huerfano at September 07, 2013 02:34 PM (bAGA/)

58

Sounds like Woody Harrellssoonn is cast correctly anyway.  Isn't there some college football today. ? only thing I hate more than a formerly smart military blog not discussing politics and shit like that there 24/7 is taking time away from the great college football posts.

 

cmon, man.

Posted by: Pooter Hound at September 07, 2013 02:34 PM (o9V+x)

59 I want a review, damit...
This movie has it all.
http://tinyurl.com/kkl3kgk

Posted by: Mike Hammer at September 07, 2013 02:34 PM (aDwsi)

60 I just don't get Jesse Eisenberg. Don't get why he's cast in any movie playing anything other than the nondescript friend of the hero who has some piece of information essential to the plot but who gets knocked off in the first act.

Posted by: rrpjr at September 07, 2013 02:34 PM (lfd+z)

61 well, u said it was dumb enuff to get u iff the hook here. But I already decided to see this film on DVD. gotta be worth the Redbox buck fifty.

Posted by: chi-town jerry at September 07, 2013 02:34 PM (UfEmU)

62 >> Spoiler: Clint was right Speaking of empty chairs: @moxiemom ROTFLMAO. Via the Nobel prize website, the #EmptyChair: pic.twitter.com/WS2nQQ1ItU It's still up on their web page: http://www.nobelprize.org/

Posted by: Y-not at September 07, 2013 02:36 PM (5H6zj)

63 12 -

I like Hudson Hawk too, and I can see what you're saying, but I think one of the things I like about Hudson Hawk  is that I don't have to really care what's happening in the movie.  It's all cartoon. 

Reading this, I was  thinking more along the lines of Inception, which, by the time I got to the end all I cared about was that it was over.  I got tired of trying to unpeel it all.

Posted by: BurtTC at September 07, 2013 02:37 PM (BeSEI)

64 58
Sounds like Woody Harrellssoonn is cast correctly anyway. Isn't there some college football today. ? only thing I hate more than a formerly smart military blog not discussing politics and shit like that there 24/7 is taking time away from the great college football posts.

cmon, man.

Posted by: Pooter Hound at September 07, 2013 06:34 PM (o9V+x)

 

Football thread gets posted in the morning before the first games start, or a little later if dave forgets.  But it is there today.

Posted by: buzzion at September 07, 2013 02:38 PM (LI48c)

65
But I already decided to see this film on DVD. gotta be worth the Redbox buck fifty.

Posted by: chi-town jerry at September 07, 2013 06:34 PM (UfEmU)

I saw a poster for this at the entrance to Wal-Mart. I thought it went straight to DVD or I had missed it at the theater.

Posted by: Underground Vulgarian at September 07, 2013 02:38 PM (yF8OY)

66 it was actually a hit at theaters.  Not a blockbuster, but a surprise hit in a summer of blockbuster flops.

The sequel is already confirmed and being scouted for locations.

Posted by: ace at September 07, 2013 02:40 PM (/IWYB)

67

Never go anywhere without a flashlight. Got my NRA light thru TSA (it looks like a shotgun shell). So there is no excuse.

I'll save this movie for the long wait in the bunker when the shtf.

Posted by: cryptocon at September 07, 2013 02:40 PM (v9JOb)

68 Jesse Eisenberg has made a successful career of parlaying his geeky personality and unfuckable scrawny physique into roles where he plays a scrawny, unfuckable geek. Now he's supposed to be a cocksman because he does magic tricks? That's just a bonus on top of Teh Ancient Sooper Sekrit Society that robs banks with it's gee-whiz gadgetry. What were they really after? The Sacred Feminine? Go ahead and put up the spoiler review. I have so little opportunity to see movies nowadays that I don't want to waste a couple of hours for a "heh."

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at September 07, 2013 02:40 PM (JDIKC)

69 25 Spoiler: Shane dies at the end.
Posted by: Underground Vulgarian at September 07, 2013 06:11 PM (yF8OY)

Come back Shane!

Posted by: Bertram Cabot Jr. at September 07, 2013 02:41 PM (74gkr)

70 Did anyone see Wolverine? I was waiting for a review but I may have missed it.

Posted by: Y-not at September 07, 2013 02:42 PM (5H6zj)

71 Spoiler alert for "Downfall"


Hitler dies at the end, along with that shicksa Eva Braun

Posted by: Keyser Soze at September 07, 2013 02:43 PM (omBWL)

72 I like Hudson Hawk too, and I can see what you're saying, but I think one of the things I like about Hudson Hawk is that I don't have to really care what's happening in the movie. --- I think part of what killed Hudson Hawk for me was the lame romance story. Willis was pretty effeminate in that movie - kind of seemed like the Moonlighting years - and I wanted to throat-punch Andie McDowell.

Posted by: Y-not at September 07, 2013 02:44 PM (5H6zj)

73 Should I read the review 1st or watch the movie 1st, cuz I'm watching it tonight?

Posted by: Dr Spank at September 07, 2013 02:44 PM (qRasw)

74

"Sounds like Woody Harrellssoonn is cast correctly anyway. Isn't there some college football today. ? only thing I hate more than a formerly smart military blog not discussing politics and shit like that there 24/7 is taking time away from the great college football posts.

cmon, man."

Oh, stop being such a little screaming cupcake.

Posted by: Quint&Jessel, Sea of Azof, Bly, UK at September 07, 2013 02:45 PM (DEp/y)

75 Did anyone see Wolverine? I was waiting for a review but I may have missed it. Posted by: Y-not at September 07, 2013 06:42 PM (5H6zj) ------------------- Yep. That was the last movie I saw. Worth seeing.

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at September 07, 2013 02:45 PM (JDIKC)

76 "Au revoir, Shoshanna!" What I kept thinking when the Interpol gal was on screen.

Posted by: Bruce Strang at September 07, 2013 02:46 PM (lqE5T)

77 and I wanted to throat-punch Andie McDowell.
------------

Every time she is cast into a part, I wonder why. I haven't recovered from Greystoke yet.

Posted by: Mike Hammer at September 07, 2013 02:46 PM (aDwsi)

78 I saw this in a crappy, pre-stadium-seating-era movie theater (in Ocena City, MD) and was found it surprisingly entertaining. The opening trick gave me a silly smile ( the movie picked my card).

The French detective was so, so hot!

Posted by: Serious Cat at September 07, 2013 02:46 PM (UOjzE)

79 >>Yep. That was the last movie I saw. Worth seeing. Thanks. It's still playing in theaters here.

Posted by: Y-not at September 07, 2013 02:47 PM (5H6zj)

80 72 -

Maybe it was all those years of Catholic school, but Sister Andie had my furnace running. 

Posted by: BurtTC at September 07, 2013 02:47 PM (BeSEI)

81 I did not expect to like this movie. I really liked it. I am a sucker for magic movies, true... but I hated The Illusionist.

Anyway. In order to like it, all I had to do was ignore the fact that large swaths of it were completely impossible... and since it a movie about magicians, that was easy.

Also, the plot twist was fairly obvious. Although my wife was gobsmacked so maybe not.

Posted by: Long-time Commenter, First-time Reader at September 07, 2013 02:48 PM (pl1y3)

82 Maybe it was all those years of Catholic school, but Sister Andie had my furnace running. --- Uh-oh. So THAT'S why Mr Y-not bought me that habit.

Posted by: Y-not at September 07, 2013 02:48 PM (5H6zj)

83 and I wanted to throat-punch Andie McDowell.

Posted by: Y-not at September 07, 2013 06:44 PM (5H6zj)

Really? I always seemed to be concentrating more on wanting to napalm Sandra Bernhard.

Posted by: Underground Vulgarian at September 07, 2013 02:49 PM (yF8OY)

84 The Prestige I liked, Hudson Hawk was stupid.

Posted by: Dr Spank at September 07, 2013 02:50 PM (qRasw)

85 I always seemed to be concentrating more on wanting to napalm Sandra Bernhard. --- Oh, yeah, that's a given. But I was supposed to *like* McDowell's character.

Posted by: Y-not at September 07, 2013 02:51 PM (5H6zj)

86 Did anyone see Wolverine? I was waiting for a review but I may have missed it.


Posted by: Y-not at September 07, 2013 06:42 PM (5H6zj)

That movie was weird. 90% of the movie is a serious take on a drifter in a foreign land romance, with the final 10% superhero action movie.

Posted by: Serious Cat at September 07, 2013 02:51 PM (UOjzE)

87 I've read the screen adaptation for the Kaboom movie and it looks MUCH better than this crap-fest...   I'll wait on Kaboom!

Posted by: Yip at September 07, 2013 02:51 PM (/jHWN)

88 I did see Cockney's and Zombies the other night and it was fun.  Rent it!

Posted by: Yip at September 07, 2013 02:52 PM (/jHWN)

89 Hold it ..., are you telling me there is a flick with both McDowell AND Bernhard in it?
*gets out Red Line pencil*

Posted by: Mike Hammer at September 07, 2013 02:52 PM (aDwsi)

90 Easter egg compliment....

I really liked the catering on set...

Posted by: sven10077 at September 07, 2013 02:52 PM (9jfyN)

91 Dear movie goer, Excitement and intrigue often an important part of a relationship, but you have to know when to say: "Enough!" When your friends keep telling you that you deserve more, and all you seem to be getting out of this relationship are promises to do better, well, it's time to listen to those friends. We all know how difficult it is to leave the security of movie that seems to be hitting all the formula beats, and the excitement of wanting to know what is next, but you knew after the first act that this movie wasn't going to deliver. Get your self out there. Maybe try a bowling league, or a church group. Many movie goers meet fine movies in the amazon fan pages -- give it shat! for the sake of your sanity.

Posted by: Gentlemen, this is democracy manifest at September 07, 2013 02:54 PM (zZJJp)

92 So Riddick . . .
He mortgaged his home ya know? To get the movie made. 

Posted by: I don't believe we're on the Eve of [i]Instruction[/i] at September 07, 2013 02:54 PM (P8MmW)

93 The butler did it with a candlestick in the library

Posted by: PaleRider at September 07, 2013 02:55 PM (cQZV0)

94 Possible (Trying to be vague) Spoiler:

I'll try to be as cryptic as possible.  There was one cool thing in this movie: the trick involving "lights" where a woman had to choose (I'll keep it at that).

Same choice by me. Talked to other people who saw this and looked at IMDB comments--Same with them. 

To anyone who's seen this and knows what I'm referring to, "same with you"?

Posted by: Brad Hamilton at September 07, 2013 02:56 PM (s/Ukz)

95 oh sure,  my IP floated to a non-banned # now when I had and have nothing.  

Posted by: PaleRider at September 07, 2013 02:56 PM (cQZV0)

96 #78 Serious Cat already answered my question.

Posted by: Brad Hamilton at September 07, 2013 02:58 PM (s/Ukz)

97 So, this movie is the sequel to Prometheus.

Posted by: eman at September 07, 2013 03:02 PM (AO9UG)

98 i added my thoughts on the movie's weird homage to X-Men, which just perplexes me.


Posted by: ace at September 07, 2013 03:04 PM (/IWYB)

99 98 Eman,

and Ishtar

Posted by: sven10077 at September 07, 2013 03:05 PM (9jfyN)

100 That movie was weird. 90% of the movie is a serious take on a drifter in a foreign land romance, with the final 10% superhero action movie.

That's a lot of what made it so great. The exotic flavor.

Posted by: esch at September 07, 2013 03:06 PM (eEEbp)

101 99 Ace,

Ace what film is not improved by a Volcanic, Diamond Hard, Telepathic, Shape Changer Lord of Magnetism?

Posted by: Gerg at September 07, 2013 03:07 PM (9jfyN)

102 So how did they get around the whole volcano problem?

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at September 07, 2013 03:09 PM (GEICT)

103 103 BC1981,

Rosebud

Posted by: Orson Welle's Fatty Liver at September 07, 2013 03:10 PM (9jfyN)

104
I hate to interrupt the movie-gasm in progress, but you all should know, Brooks Brothers has jumped the shark. Say hello to Buffalo Check, for Him, and Her.

http://tinyurl.com/mdz4o8v

Posted by: Sticky Wicket at September 07, 2013 03:10 PM (0IhFx)

105 I can save a lot of money on dope if Woody can just hypnotize me over the phone.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot Jr. at September 07, 2013 03:11 PM (74gkr)

106 Spoiler: They would've gotten away with it if it weren't for those meddling kids.

Posted by: Sandra Fluke's solid gold diaphragm at September 07, 2013 03:14 PM (TCWb5)

107 The only spoiler I'd offer is: It really is dumb. Really, really, dumb. My non-spoiler-ish review is here: http://bitmaelstrom.blogspot.com/2013/06/now-you-see-me.html Dumb fun, emphasis on the dumb. And I figured the X-Men-ish thing is just a way of saying "Hey, this would be a good pilot for a TV show..."

Posted by: moviegique at September 07, 2013 03:15 PM (QtuXI)

108 107 Sandra Fluke's Golden Parachute,


Great work Scooby and Shaggy...ah I have something to show Velma and Daphne we'll be right back...

Posted by: Jerry Reed, Poorly drawn but all aglow at September 07, 2013 03:15 PM (9jfyN)

109 Spoiler: They do  cross the beams.

Posted by: Mike Hammer at September 07, 2013 03:16 PM (aDwsi)

110 *purrs* Ace movie review! First Monty, now Ace. Can this day get any better? ~_^ mac :]

Posted by: macbrooks at September 07, 2013 03:17 PM (qcPky)

111 Spoiler: Clarence gets his wings

Posted by: Mike Hammer at September 07, 2013 03:19 PM (aDwsi)

112 >>>Actually, my guess was slightly less preposterous than what they actually went with but, like a bad mystery, they could've used my ending (and might have had it in mind at one point) without actually having to change a damn thing in the movie (apart from the reveal, of course).

movigique,

I meant to mention this, and forgot: The solution is not the solution because it had to be the solution.  The solution is the solution Because We Said So.

In my spoilerish analysis I want to discuss this, how the movie's trick is simply not supplying information and just keeping almost all possible solutions viable until the last ten minutes when they go, "It's this one. Of the four you had in mind, it's this one, Because We Said."

Posted by: ace at September 07, 2013 03:20 PM (/IWYB)

113 Spoiler: I start WW3

Posted by: Preznit Urkel X at September 07, 2013 03:20 PM (9jfyN)

114 113 Ace,


Pretty much spot on...the answer is McBombypants 'cause because

Posted by: Imitation Sherlock! at September 07, 2013 03:21 PM (9jfyN)

115 Y-Not-- I reviewed Wolverine here. http://bitmaelstrom.blogspot.com/2013/08/wolverine.html It's better in a lot of ways than the bulk of the summer's action flicks, but that's not a really high bar.

Posted by: moviegique at September 07, 2013 03:21 PM (QtuXI)

116 Tell him about the Twinkie.

Posted by: Winston Zedemore at September 07, 2013 03:22 PM (v6hyJ)

117 OT: The NSA is behind the majority of funding for Tor. http://tinyurl.com/mwh48t8

Posted by: The Political Hat at September 07, 2013 03:23 PM (Vk2pI)

118 Wofford 14 The Citadel 0. Halftime. Gov. Nikki Haley did the coin toss.

Posted by: NCKate at September 07, 2013 03:23 PM (KKfVH)

119 not to be spoilerish, but this this just a rule in movies:

In many movies there are multiple possibilities for a solution, right?  And characters will discuss these possibilities, right? That's how they get closer to the solution, by discussing possibilities, checking the scenarios against the facts, right?

Well, in almost every movie, the real solution is the one that All Characters Absolutely Refuse to So Much as Mention. 

If characters are willing to discuss the possibility that Mr. Mustard killed Mr. Body, then Mr. Mustard didn't do it. It's the one that no one is willing to even suggest might have done it.

This is the only way to "figure out" what's going on. It's the one thing no one's willing to talk about.



Posted by: ace at September 07, 2013 03:25 PM (/IWYB)

120 Ace-- Just so, and about the worst thing a movie can do, in my opinion. I mean, for an "Airplane!"-style farce it wouldn't matter, but if the outcome can be "well, whatever", then from a dramatic standpoint, the whole thing is a lie. (It actually still kind of irks me about "Clue", which was a farce and deliberately had an ending that didn't matter, so maybe that's just my own hangup.)

Posted by: moviegique at September 07, 2013 03:26 PM (QtuXI)

121 120 Ace,

Correct that is why my series holds up after all these years.

1) great cast

2) compelling dialog

3) not treating you like a fucking retard and spelling out what happened and the pursuit thereof taking center stage....

Now admittedly it is a lot like my wife's aunt gertrude's sewing...it doesn't make a lot of sense, but over time the pattern makes sense

Posted by: Lt. Columbo at September 07, 2013 03:27 PM (9jfyN)

122 Colonel Mustard lost his rank faster than Nidal Hasan.

Posted by: Lincolntf at September 07, 2013 03:29 PM (ZshNr)

123 It's kind of hard to discuss this without spoiling, though, but, yeah. (The actual twist is sometimes mentioned, but quickly laughed off.) That I understand, though. I've sat through some movies where the logical, likely end is set up, and a twist is intimated, set up--and then it turns out the logical, likely end is the reality and the twist was a red herring. It almost always feels anti-climactic.

Posted by: moviegique at September 07, 2013 03:29 PM (QtuXI)

124 123 LincolnTF,

You fuck one General's daughter one time....one time...

Posted by: Col Mustard-now PV1 Mustsard at September 07, 2013 03:30 PM (9jfyN)

125 #3 -- Yeah, that kind of grated on me. At least Ocean's 11 had a support team--not just the 11 people involved, but even THEY had people they brought in to pull it off. Then the story becomes implausible for other reasons (too many people involved) but at least it's possible. Soderbergh is good about that stuff.

Posted by: moviegique at September 07, 2013 03:31 PM (QtuXI)

126 >>>f the outcome can be "well, whatever", then from a dramatic standpoint, the whole thing is a lie.

my take on twists is that they don't really matter anyway, at least 90% of the time.  90% of the time they're obvious, so the "twist" is really more of a structural device (in as much as it tells you how to plot the thing, to conceal and then reveal the twist) more than an actual This Will Surprise You Thing.

So I sort of don't care.  The Sixth Sense got me, because it was OBVIOUS he was a ghost, I mean DUH!!, but then they "disproved" that theory by having Bruce Willis interact with people... and that's the brilliant part, because he didn't, I just thought he did.  So they backed me off what I knew the solution was before I even went into the theater.

But 90% of the time it's not a surprise at all.

I mean The Prestige got me with the Replication Machine but who could have seen that coming? That was Ducking Fumb.


Posted by: ace at September 07, 2013 03:36 PM (/IWYB)

127 My work is done...

Posted by: John Wayne Gacy-Thread Killer at September 07, 2013 03:36 PM (9jfyN)

128 O/T: 

Ok Morons.......

Fox Sports Southwest is airing Texas Tech vs. Stephen F. Austin.

Look at the SFA head coach and TELL me he doesn't look like a YOUNG Brian Dennehy.

Seriously.

You guys.

Posted by: © Sponge at September 07, 2013 03:36 PM (0TFZw)

129 Buzzion-- From my review of "Lawless" (http://bitmaelstrom.blogspot.com/2012/09/lawless.html): < Eisenberg is basically an unpleasant Cera who still looks he could get his ass kicked by Yelchin or LeBeouf.

Posted by: moviegique at September 07, 2013 03:37 PM (QtuXI)

130 Oh, and Ace?

You're brain scares me.   Really.

Posted by: © Sponge at September 07, 2013 03:38 PM (0TFZw)

131 Whoa, that didn't come out, let me try that again: "I mean, on the scale of wispy/wimpy modern actors, you got your Michael Cera at the bottom, followed by your Jesse Eisenberg, followed by your Anton Yelchin, followed by your Shia LeBeouf, followed by your Joseph Gordon-Levitt (who manages to play tough guys)."

Posted by: moviegique at September 07, 2013 03:38 PM (QtuXI)

132 It was predicfably unpredictable, if you get my drift.

Posted by: soothsayer at September 07, 2013 03:39 PM (z96ra)

133 127 Ace,

the proof that is the pudding of your posit is my career arc...

the gimmick of twist again like we did last summer is the more convoluted twisty twist again gets the worse my film does....


see look it is not a post from 1483....

this ain't Red Riding Hood...it's a bunch of drop outs living in Sven's head...

Posted by: M. Night Shyamalan at September 07, 2013 03:39 PM (9jfyN)

134 Spoiler : Worlds Collide

Posted by: Bertram Cabot Jr. at September 07, 2013 03:40 PM (74gkr)

135 I served with Colonel Mustard, I knew the real man. Before the booze and the Real Girls took over, he was a hero. We were on a routine perimeter patrol, with Relish Battery trailing us by a few klicks, and the Diced Onion Battalion trying to play catch up. We walked into pure hell, boys, pure hell. Like a walking hibachi, they approached, scorching our casings all the way....I thought we were cooked for sure, but here comes Colonel Mustard. Spread himself mighty thin, that he did, but he blinded those coal-eyed bastards just long enough for us to slip back into the cooler and gtfo.

Posted by: Hotdog Houlihan at September 07, 2013 03:42 PM (ZshNr)

136 movigique, even moreso was the inexplicable 22nd century technology in this movie that's where the "magic" comes in, I guess, because that stuff just appeared out of nowhere

Posted by: soothsayer at September 07, 2013 03:42 PM (z96ra)

137 135 Bertram Cabot jr,

Spoiler the film with the mouse was my latest "peak"

Posted by: M. Night Shyamalan at September 07, 2013 03:42 PM (9jfyN)

138 I'll go you one better: If the twist DOES matter, it's probably not a good movie. A movie that hangs too much on that (say, I dunno, like "Friday The 13th") is relying on shock rather than, you know, making a good movie. I actually preferred "The Illusionist" to "The Prestige". It was a little Scooby-Doo but not in the same ballpark as "The Prestige".

Posted by: moviegique at September 07, 2013 03:42 PM (QtuXI)

139
Colonel Mustard lost his rank faster than Nidal Hasan.

Nidal Hasan, forcibly deprived of his luxurious face pubes. Each. Day. Also, forced to shit in a plastic bag. Couldn't happen to a more deserving individual. The firing squad that eventually put's that piece of shit out of our collective misery should lubricate their weapons with bacon grease on the Big Day.

Posted by: Sticky Wicket at September 07, 2013 03:43 PM (0IhFx)

140 Sooth-- Yeah, see, I think that's laziness. If they'd gotten Penn & Teller (or comparable) they probably couldn't have gotten the same effects, but they could've gotten something that was relatable and more awesome, without CGI. CGI's a crutch.

Posted by: moviegique at September 07, 2013 03:44 PM (QtuXI)

141 OMG an ace movie review??? YAAAAAAY! *fangirly squealing!*

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Chelsea [/s][/i][/b][/u] at September 07, 2013 03:44 PM (CA2NO)

142 Since Ace is a big fan of Chris Angell, I knew he'd find Now You See Me intriguing.

Posted by: soothsayer at September 07, 2013 03:45 PM (z96ra)

143 139 moviegique,

Pretty much, every once in a bit the twist is done in a way so elegant, or groundbreaking it makes a film...

It's like "crapsack world endings" Requium for a Dream nailed it so hard it made a great film of it...

and then sometimes you wind up with Kids/i] which only got that type of cred b/c AIDS AIDS AIDS!

Posted by: sven10077's director's monocle at September 07, 2013 03:45 PM (9jfyN)

Posted by: sven10077's director's monocle at September 07, 2013 03:46 PM (9jfyN)

145 Michael Caine kicked ass in Blame it on Rio.

Posted by: fastfreefall at September 07, 2013 03:46 PM (fII7r)

146 Nice save Sven

Posted by: sven10077's director's monocle at September 07, 2013 03:46 PM (9jfyN)

147 Holy crap. Was that MWR? THE MWR??? Who I haven't seen in like forever? That MWR?

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at September 07, 2013 03:47 PM (GEICT)

148 140 Sticky Wicket

Spoiler:

I commute his sentence to life w/no parole at worst...fuck I may let him off for time served.

Posted by: Preznit Urkle X at September 07, 2013 03:47 PM (9jfyN)

149 142 MWR,

*winks*

evenin'

Posted by: Sven's tipped Cowboy Hat at September 07, 2013 03:48 PM (9jfyN)

150 > Keep the comments free from any spoilers or even hints. ----- Why? It's too late for that now. Your "review" contained only spoilers in its entirety.

Posted by: MrX at September 07, 2013 03:48 PM (PxmNZ)

151 I mean just the stuff in the fleabag apartment in the begininng was really hi-tech, which kinda set a Harry Potter vibe off in my head like I was asked to just sit back and believe everything the movie throws at me without question because...magic.

Posted by: soothsayer at September 07, 2013 03:48 PM (z96ra)

152 Spoiler:  It was Frank Marshall Davis The Whole Time!

Posted by: Slapweasel at September 07, 2013 03:49 PM (lq3Ak)

153 >>>If they'd gotten Penn & Teller (or comparable) they probably couldn't have gotten the same effects, but they could've gotten something that was relatable and more awesome, without CGI. CGI's a crutch.

the movie used a lot of CGI in places movies don't use CGI, like city night shots, with CGI subway cars, and lots of CGI light-sources, and CGI carousels, and CGI everything.

as for the stage magic I give them a pass because half of that stuff could SORT OF be done, maybe not the way they showed it, but similar, and besides, People Hate Magic, so if they really showed stage magic  in the movie people would hate it.

So, whatever, folks: Here's some Dumb CGI.

Posted by: ace at September 07, 2013 03:49 PM (/IWYB)

154 Kafuckingboom what a review. I would say dumbass but that would be dumb. In all seriousness pretty interesting review, a definite must watch on Netflix when it gets there

Posted by: Misanthropic humanitarian, now with 50% more sensitivity at September 07, 2013 03:49 PM (HVff2)

155 Well, sure, but everybody's got AIDS!

Posted by: moviegique at September 07, 2013 03:49 PM (QtuXI)

156 152 Soothsayer,

You would not believe how many people think little Sven can whistle the music from Angry Birds...

Posted by: Sven's 23d Century [i]I-Cod[/i] at September 07, 2013 03:50 PM (9jfyN)

157 Plus: hypnotism. Okay. Sure.

Posted by: soothsayer at September 07, 2013 03:50 PM (z96ra)

158 >>117 Tell him about the Twinkie.<<

I dunno, at first I thought the appearance of the Twinkie was like a major plot point, but then it hit me that "Now You See Me" was waaaayyy to complex for that and that it was just a feint for the audience.

Toward the end I had almost completely forgotten about it, but then when it reappeared in the form of Brian Denehy, the Deux ex machina made aspect made the sub-plot about the iconography of the giraffe and the symbolism of cheese as G*d make sense.

...but I still don't get how they did the cinematic trick of the love scene between Jesse Eisenberg and Woody Harrelson having sex while being sawed in half as Morgan Freeman watches and touches himself

Posted by: Albie Damned at September 07, 2013 03:51 PM (Yhu4q)

159 153 Slapweasel,

YOU SIGNED AN NDA!

Posted by: Preznit Urkle X at September 07, 2013 03:51 PM (9jfyN)

160 If you haven't watched "Sunshine" you should.  I'm very picky about my B movie cult classics and it's great.  It makes you feel good about the human race.

http://tinyurl.com/39tump

Posted by: ryukyu at September 07, 2013 03:52 PM (C6XFd)

161 YOU SIGNED AN NDA!
Posted by: Preznit Urkle X

...gotta die sometime.

-I got my boots on.

Posted by: Slapweasel at September 07, 2013 03:52 PM (lq3Ak)

162 I liked "Sunshine" quite a bit but I recognize no part of it in your comment.

Posted by: moviegique at September 07, 2013 03:53 PM (QtuXI)

163
   That review should have caused a carpal tunnel flare-up.

Posted by: irongrampa at September 07, 2013 03:55 PM (SAMxH)

164 This movie confirms one thing we all knew: Morgan Freeman's talent rests in his voice and cadence. ANYBODY can play ANY part Morgan Freeman has played. But like Obama, Freeman simply sounds good when he says his lines.

Posted by: soothsayer at September 07, 2013 03:55 PM (z96ra)

165 Saddest thing about people hating magic is all the dorky 12 year old boys who learn magic in the hopes that they'll impress people and make friends and kiss girls. Nobody tells those boys that all that time and effort and hard-work they put into learning magic will, mostly, just make people hate them.

Posted by: Flatbush Joe at September 07, 2013 03:56 PM (ZPrif)

166 Spoiler Alert! In eight years I won't learn a fucking thing.

Posted by: Barky Goes To Moscow at September 07, 2013 03:57 PM (FcR7P)

167 166 Flatbush Joe,

as long as you can fool 52% the street magic known as Socializing and Organizing! works wonders...

Posted by: Preznit Urkle X at September 07, 2013 03:57 PM (9jfyN)

168 I thought ace brought it. 

Just like my pitching coach, (and subsequently, my stripping coach), used to say:  Show 'em Everything, Reveal Nothing, But Never Let 'em Hit It.

Posted by: Slapweasel at September 07, 2013 03:58 PM (lq3Ak)

169 Holy crap. Was that MWR? THE MWR??? Who I haven't seen in like forever? That MWR? Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at September 07, 2013 07:47 PM (GEICT) lol! Yep, tis me! Work was stupid busy last week, but I'm around!

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Chelsea [/s][/i][/b][/u] at September 07, 2013 03:58 PM (CA2NO)

170 167 Barky Goes to Moscow

Ok look Moscow is sorta not really above Mecca on my "wow" list but literally right beside it...

t6hink of it as a normal human looking at boobs for the first time...

of course I can't get any progress done in the Sov er uh Russia

Posted by: Preznit Urkle X at September 07, 2013 03:59 PM (9jfyN)

171 One upside of watching movies via blurry Russian cam bootlegs instead of an actual movie theater -- it's impossible to see the details of the crappy CGI, so it doesn't look so crappy. The worst green screen crap doesn't look so bad if you turn down the resolution enough.

Posted by: Flatbush Joe at September 07, 2013 03:59 PM (ZPrif)

172 Don't mind me, playing through.

Posted by: [/i][/b][/s]akula51 at September 07, 2013 03:59 PM (4p5/2)

173 169 SlapWeasel,

We're not allowed to hit it right now either...

hey guess who DoL blamed a third of a million leaving the workforce on???

My crank

Posted by: Porn Workers Local 957 at September 07, 2013 04:00 PM (9jfyN)

174 "Why does she wear gloves?" Man hands?

Posted by: steevy at September 07, 2013 04:01 PM (9XBK2)

175 Ace, all due respect but this movie review SUCKS.

It sucks because the "no spoilers" route destroys its raison d'etre.  And further prohibition from discussing such things in the comments -- I never read the comments, I have no idea whether people are respecting that -- takes away any reason to even discuss the review or the film. 

Okay, so maybe this review doesn't SUCK, but...it's super-frustrating.  Spoil the everliving fuck out of this, for god's sake.  The movie is like TWO MONTHS OLD at this point.  Everyone who might have been inclined to see it has seen it already.  Give us the money shot.

Posted by: Jeff B. at September 07, 2013 04:01 PM (n/+FT)

176 172 Flatbush Joe,

*furiously scribbling notes*

Posted by: Joey Plugz 2016 at September 07, 2013 04:01 PM (9jfyN)

177 Most movies nowadays are unwatchable because they are set up for the "LIVs". The almost braindead and braindead think they are avantguard for watching this drivel. And then Hollyweird wonders why they lose money. Shit, any of the old Three Stooges films make more sense then some of the crap that comes out nowadays. And some of the guys they tout as "hunks" these days are nothing more than wimps that have those muscles that come from HCH and then, yes, a 90 pound woman could beat the shit out of them. Or they are the old hunks (e.g. Schwarzenegger, Stallone and to some extend Willies) who had their faces stretched but the rest of their bodies look worse than mummies

Posted by: Ma Bell at September 07, 2013 04:01 PM (RLdcX)

178 Seriously ace,funny review,already figured it was not a movie I'd care ti see and you confirmed that.

Posted by: steevy at September 07, 2013 04:02 PM (9XBK2)

179 The silly magician names though,that does happen in real life.

Posted by: steevy at September 07, 2013 04:02 PM (9XBK2)

180 I enjoy movies about magic and misdirection. A little goes a long way, but when they're well done or clever, I can usually expect to like them. I really liked "The Prestige." It had a nice ambiance to it. And, of course, gratuitous Christian Bale and Hugh Jackman. Hey, I'm an 'Ette.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Chelsea [/s][/i][/b][/u] at September 07, 2013 04:03 PM (CA2NO)

181 I actually like magic. And yeah, I bought magic books and kits as a kid. Got decent at some sleight of hand. Problem is you have to practice that stuff constantly to stay good at it. Also, walking around all day with a live dove in your pants can be uncomfortable.

Posted by: Flatbush Joe at September 07, 2013 04:03 PM (ZPrif)

182 178 Ma Bell,

HEY uh yo I got surgery for the Pecs too Adrian...

Posted by: Sly Stallone's Pectoral Face Lift... at September 07, 2013 04:03 PM (9jfyN)

183 I'm watching Being Human (UK) on Netflix. It started out new and engaging, got lame and cookie-cutter, now with a new tone starting season 3.

Posted by: Lincolntf at September 07, 2013 04:05 PM (ZshNr)

184 >>>Seriously ace,funny review,already figured it was not a movie I'd care ti see and you confirmed that.

it really divides people.  I liked the aplomb of it.  I liked the "Forget it, we're rolling" attitude. I liked that it was just like, "We're going to be audacious.  We'll work out the logic for this in the last ten minutes of the movie.  And if that doesn't work, we delayed the stupid crap until the end of the movie when it's too late to complain about it."

Other people i know just say "THAT WAS SO STUPID!!!"

I say, "You forgot 'gloriously so.'"

I like plotty stuff and lurid premises and Just Being Silly.  All caper movies are mostly silly.  I liked Leverage which was Very Silly Indeed so this movie to me was just Leverage: The Prestige Job.  I was ready for it.

It wasn't boring.


Posted by: ace at September 07, 2013 04:05 PM (/IWYB)

185 181 MWR,

Ms 10077 concurs...

most 'ettes agree Bale/Jackman 3 thumbs up

Posted by: Sven10077 at September 07, 2013 04:05 PM (9jfyN)

186 And, of course, gratuitous Christian Bale and Hugh Jackman. Hey, I'm an 'Ette. Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Chelsea at September 07, 2013 08:03 PM (CA2NO) Oh dear, I take Hugh Jackman, but Christian Bale? The dude can't act. In every movie he's been in he's played the same character: some who can't talk in a normal way, he has to have that breathy whisper

Posted by: Ma Bell at September 07, 2013 04:06 PM (RLdcX)

187 This movie confirms one thing we all knew: Morgan Freeman's talent rests in his voice and cadence. Shawshank Redemption for the win. Amazing, though, isn't it? A deserved superstar just because of the way he talks. (Yes, you're correct, Fran Drescher, but you're a special case) Hell, even Iran would be our ally in Syria if Morgan Freeman were President.

Posted by: t-bird at September 07, 2013 04:06 PM (FcR7P)

188 185 Ace,

You should go to Margaret Weis Publishing and read the Leverage RPG stuff...

intriguing actually

Posted by: Sven10077 at September 07, 2013 04:06 PM (9jfyN)

189 "Okay, so maybe this review doesn't SUCK, but...it's super-frustrating. Spoil the everliving fuck out of this, for god's sake. The movie is like TWO MONTHS OLD at this point. Everyone who might have been inclined to see it has seen it already. Give us the money shot." It just came out this Tuesday on Blu-ray and DVD, so more people are most likely to see it over the next few weeks. I just happened to watch it this afternoon because I missed the theatrical run (so it was serendipitous that Ace put up his review a few hours later). BTW, there is a sequel being made next year (it did over $300 million worldwide, half of that in the US).

Posted by: Synnerman at September 07, 2013 04:07 PM (0Bdlg)

190 Good review, Ace. I'll check it out.

Posted by: Joffen, fucking sunshine patriot at September 07, 2013 04:08 PM (EPcGF)

191 187 Ma Bell,

Ma'am Bale is Bale...

Lads10077 and Spouse10077 both are fairly happy with Equilibrium

http://youtu.be/lcTft47wsDg

Me I preferred 310 to Yuma

Posted by: Sven10077 at September 07, 2013 04:09 PM (9jfyN)

192 Saw a magic act on TV just last year, it was on some late night show like Conan. And the guy did a slightly elaborate version of a trick I did in middle school. It's $10 gimmick deck of cards. Pretty basic Magic 101 thing. Requires no sleight of hand. It's all patter and then the trick deck. It's a mentalism trick. The sleight of hand - like what Teller is so good at - is incredibly impressive cause of the time and effort required to get good. I was always bummed when a tricks was entirely in the gimmick. Of course, it's really all in the presentation.

Posted by: Flatbush Joe at September 07, 2013 04:09 PM (ZPrif)

193 I have very little patience for stupid.It's the reason why I can't enjoy the dopey SyFy movies.

Posted by: steevy at September 07, 2013 04:13 PM (9XBK2)

194 Now You See Me did tell one Truth, though (and it applies to the Obama admin/media's psy-ops) : "the closer you look, the more you miss"

Posted by: soothsayer at September 07, 2013 04:14 PM (z96ra)

195 Also, yay! Tokyo is going to host the 2020 Olympics! I was worried it would go to Istanbul.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Chelsea [/s][/i][/b][/u] at September 07, 2013 04:16 PM (CA2NO)

196 My wife and I just watched it last night ourselves and we quite enjoyed it.

Posted by: JSC at September 07, 2013 04:16 PM (JDyoT)

197 Oh and OT: Just watched "Secrets of SEAL Team 6" on Military Channel, where the Imbecile and Shrillary explained how they were glued, glued I tells you, to the live feed of the op. And I wondered, I thought the Imbecile was playing spades with Reggie?

Posted by: Ma Bell at September 07, 2013 04:19 PM (RLdcX)

198 Japan was the responsible choice I guess. That's cool. Istanbul was a bridge way too far,though they did beat Madrid to get to the final round. I expect the Japanese to freak the fuck out over the next 7 years to make it awesome, lest they lose face. Can you say flying octopus waitresses? Hover cars? Invisible wristwatches?

Posted by: Lincolntf at September 07, 2013 04:22 PM (ZshNr)

199 Only 2887 words. Ace is slipping.

Posted by: Mark formally in Spokane, now in Sandy Ut at September 07, 2013 04:31 PM (xGX1p)

200 "200 Only 2887 words. Ace is slipping." It's his day off. He shouldn't even be here.

Posted by: Synnerman at September 07, 2013 04:45 PM (0Bdlg)

201 I was downright cute in Zombieland. Admit it.

Posted by: Jesse Eisenberg at September 07, 2013 04:58 PM (C8mVl)

202 What I have to know is, is there a point in the movie when someone leaps into a giant vat of Kaboom cereal?  Because that, my friends, is how you spell "entertainment."

If he shouts something like "This is like God's toilet bowl!" that makes it better.

Posted by: Null at September 07, 2013 05:00 PM (xjpRj)

203 No, Emma Stone was, you're just less annoying then in the Social Network,
and Amber Heard as  the neighbor that turns vampire.

Posted by: Jeffrey Pelt at September 07, 2013 05:35 PM (Jsiw/)

204 It's funny that you wrote this today; the wife and I rented this from Red Box last night. When the movie ended, she kept saying, "If you'll just stop thinking about it, you'd like the movie more!" I didn't care for the "twists" in the movie. There was so much that happened that simply wasn't foreshadowed properly, or at all. I suspect one of two situations: 1) The writers were trying to be clever by making you think one thing was going to happen, then going in the complete opposite direction, or 2) The original drafts of the movie were much different, and likely much longer. Then the producers said, "Guys, you don't get 3.5 hours. You get 90 minutes. Make it happen." I think the movie might have been better had the twists not been present at all. Too straightforward? Nah, I think it'd still be enjoyable at that point, or at least no less enjoyable than it was with dumb twists.

Posted by: Hal at September 07, 2013 05:46 PM (2wZs/)

205 Bale.....Jackman....Crowe Yes.....Yes.....Hell Yes. Love them all. Could care less that there have been 'issues' and 'incidents'. In my world, there are more than one hotel employee who need phones thrown at them (phone did not hit the hotel guy) and many more than one co-worker who needed an absolute, verbal cussing beat-down. I will take any of these gentlemen over the limp-spined American supposed hotties; Clooney, Pitt, Damon, Affleck, et al. Also love Colin Firth. Evidently I have major Brit/Aussie love. 'Master And Commander' was on some cable channel last night. Ladies, if you love Russell Crowe and have not given yourself the gift of that movie, rectify that immediately!

Posted by: dwagyak at September 07, 2013 05:57 PM (kOKcZ)

206 I like Mark Ruffalo, especially in Zodiac, but here he seems odd- his voice? His looks? Jesse Eisenberg is incredibly annoying. Should just play supporting roles. The movie also was TOO much. Too much movement, too much fast talking, I couldn't catch my breath. I felt like I would have a seizure or hyperventilate (both of which I do from time to time).

Posted by: Baldy at September 07, 2013 06:15 PM (tyDFN)

207 Are there any cats in the movie?

Posted by: A Conservative Teacher at September 07, 2013 07:00 PM (idosS)

208 cats...?  Hm, you think there'd be a cat but I can't remember any.

I think the film contains zero cats.

It does contain one bunny.


Posted by: ace at September 07, 2013 08:00 PM (/IWYB)

209 The trick of "The Prestige" is that it fools you into thinking it's one kind of movie (a stage magic mystery) then reveals that it's another kind of movie altogether (science fiction.)

Posted by: Moron Labe! at September 07, 2013 08:21 PM (9++oZ)

210 a bit of a cheat.

the other trick is that it has three mysteries.

One mystery is so easily solved it's nothing but a huge distraction and winds up drawing more of your mental ability than necessary.  OF COURSE Hugh Jackman is alive.  And OF COURSE he's this unseen "Lord Caldecourt." (Of course we don't know how he's alive; we assume, wrongly, the double died... though that is sort of correct, in away.)

The next mystery is how does Christian Bale live? This is the best and fairest mystery in the film, because it really is hinted at a bunch of times.  Personally, I figured this one out like 30 seconds before it was made explicit, which is perfect timing for a movie and a viewer.  (Sort of like having an orgasm right before you gal can -- perfect.)

The third one is this whole... Magic Nicola Tesla deal, which is sort of hinted at, but there's no way you're going to think "Oh of course he really created a teleportation pod."


Posted by: ace at September 07, 2013 08:36 PM (/IWYB)

211 or I should say: At least I would never have guessed that, and didn't.

It is hinted at... on second viewing, it seems inevitable.  There was a lot of talk about creating *real* magic.


Posted by: ace at September 07, 2013 08:46 PM (/IWYB)

212

So I just watched this the other day, and I really liked it.  If you start thinking about it too much, yeah, there's stuff that makes no sense, but the movie was entertaining enough and just plausible enough that I didn't stop to question it much while I was watching.

 

The only thing I didn't really like was the French chick.  Her character seemed unecessary and her chemistry with Mark Ruffalo was only so-so in a couple of the scenes.  Also, the whole 'eye of Horus' thing seemd confusing and non-sensical, but then, they hardly talked about it, so whatever.

 

Anyhow, I was a big fan of the movie.  I don't know how well it will hold up to a second viewing, but I was entertained while watching it the first time.

Posted by: OSUsux at September 07, 2013 09:38 PM (uccvh)

213
Why does "Jack Wilder" throw exploding playing cards (or flash paper or something) and look exactly, and I do mean exactly, like Gambit did doing the same thing?

Ask a CGI physics engine the same question you get the same answer.

Posted by: DaveA at September 07, 2013 09:48 PM (DL2i+)

214 "The real trick of this film is the trick Gandalf used to trick Beorn into permitting all thirteen dwarves (and Bilbo) to eat lunch at his house when he initially only thought he'd be serving three. By telling a fun story and dangling questions in front of Beorn, he was able to smuggle more and more Dwarves to the lunch party. This movie does the same thing, except instead of suddenly introducing more Dwarves, it keeps on introducing more Preposterous Premises."

Isn't that This Administration's approach also?

Posted by: Wry Mouth at September 07, 2013 11:37 PM (krX8a)

215 I actually enjoy big dumb movies like this. Its nice to escape to stupidity every once in a while. And while none of the main characters were very interesting, Mark Ruffalo actually had a very good role (maybe he IS the main character). Plus, there's a cute french girl, and Morgan Freeman explains things, which if you watch South Park, gives him a freckle every time he does it.

Posted by: Hotice at September 09, 2013 08:17 AM (FXuXL)

216 All's I know is, Isla Fisher.  That would be enough for me. 

Not to pay full price, or even to buy the DVD (unless she gets naked at some point?), but to borrow it from the library and see what it's like.

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius at September 09, 2013 08:48 AM (BDU/a)

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