June 07, 2013

No Refunds
— Ace


The link is there, if you want it, but I think you have the bulk of the story right there.

Here's the thing: Those were my life-coaches. So I'm a bit without a rudder now.

Is crack a good idea? They said it wasn't but, you know. Consider the source.

Posted by: Ace at 07:47 AM | Comments (305)
Post contains 69 words, total size 1 kb.

1

Foist?

 

Stomp that little froggy!

Posted by: Jaws at June 07, 2013 07:49 AM (4I3Uo)

2 "Here's the thing: Those were my life-coaches. So I'm a bit without a rudder now."

I'm very sorry to hear that.  My condolences, Ace.

Posted by: Serious Cat at June 07, 2013 07:49 AM (UypUQ)

3 People become life coaches for the same reason they become psych majors -- to figure out why they have no purpose in life or (with psych majors) they are so fucked up.

Posted by: wooga at June 07, 2013 07:50 AM (KZ/Tf)

4 Sad, but funny.

Posted by: Y-not at June 07, 2013 07:50 AM (5H6zj)

5

So, you're saying you had "life coaches".

 

And these were who you had.

 

Oh.

Posted by: jwest at June 07, 2013 07:50 AM (u2a4R)

6 The thing that struck me about that story was how they killed themselves. Really? You can commit suicide by tying a bag of helium over your head? That does not spring to mind as an obvious choice. I presume it's via suffocation but still. The more you know! The bit about how they got the idea from euthanasia support sites is a wee bit creepy as well.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Mmmm. Blondies with whipped cream. at June 07, 2013 07:50 AM (VtjlW)

7 Barack Obama is a stuttering clusterf*ck of a malignant traitor.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at June 07, 2013 07:51 AM (/PCJa)

8 Someone looking for a life coach?

Posted by: Jesus at June 07, 2013 07:51 AM (eV1I0)

9 Here's the thing: Those were my life-coaches. So I'm a bit without a rudder now. I'm not sure whether to laugh or cry. Can I do both?

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at June 07, 2013 07:51 AM (/PCJa)

10 Really, Ace?  I never know when you are kidding..

Posted by: Chi-Town Jerry at June 07, 2013 07:51 AM (f9c2L)

11 Sorry, Ace,

Still too outraged by what a singer from a one-hit wonder band from the 90's said last week to care. Don't worry. I'll get over it.

Eventually.

Posted by: weft cut-loop [/i] [/b] at June 07, 2013 07:52 AM (ujux6)

12 Engage the gay sadness, Allen! And the somber joy.

Posted by: RiverC at June 07, 2013 07:52 AM (El+h4)

13 Do as I say, not as I do.

Posted by: Oldsailors Poet Palin/Bolton 2016 at June 07, 2013 07:53 AM (XIxXP)

14 De lurking for a question: What the hell is a life coach?

Posted by: Mandy P., lurking lurker who lurks at June 07, 2013 07:53 AM (qFpRI)

15 Did that woman above really say that?

Posted by: hello, it's me Donna at June 07, 2013 07:53 AM (9+ccr)

16

"Here's the thing: Those were my life-coaches."

 

It does kind of explain the website and picking Pixy as the administrator... 

Posted by: jwest at June 07, 2013 07:53 AM (u2a4R)

17 they weren't really my life coaches. Do you think I have life-coaches?  I thought it would be obvious this is the sort of tomfoolery a conservative doesn't go in for.


Posted by: ace at June 07, 2013 07:53 AM (LCRYB)

18 The rudder is the wang of the boat. Think about it.

Posted by: wooga at June 07, 2013 07:53 AM (KZ/Tf)

19 The thing that struck me about that story was how they killed themselves. Really? You can commit suicide by tying a bag of helium over your head? That does not spring to mind as an obvious choice. I presume it's via suffocation but still. The more you know!



They're off to see the Wizard, the wonderful Wizard of Oz!

Posted by: EC at June 07, 2013 07:53 AM (GQ8sn)

20

So...you guys are taking Ace seriously about them being his coaches?

 

Hmm.

Posted by: Mama AJ at June 07, 2013 07:53 AM (SUKHu)

21 Lol.  One of my idiot s-i-l is a "life coach."  Her husband is the most depressed individual I've ever seen.

And she's a nasty bitch.

I'll say this for her, she's made a lot of money off clueless idiots.

Posted by: Dr. Jane D'oh at June 07, 2013 07:54 AM (lVPtV)

22 Would  be beneficial if this entire corrupt  marzist  administration became life coaches...for the children.

Posted by: Ammo Dump at June 07, 2013 07:54 AM (GgPam)

23

OK, WTF *is* a "life coach?"  If someone was just brimming with great advice on how to be successful, wouldn't that person, I dunno, apply that in their own lives instead?

 

Kind of a scam.

 

Unless the terminus of the advice is "now you can go be a life coach too!" 

Posted by: @JohnTant at June 07, 2013 07:54 AM (eytER)

24 I would think the italics would have been the tell, you know, the 'too obvious phony reveal for the sake of a punchline.'

But hey whatev's, I'm not a writer.

Posted by: RiverC at June 07, 2013 07:55 AM (El+h4)

25

LOL.

Posted by: Mama AJ at June 07, 2013 07:55 AM (SUKHu)

26 14 De lurking for a question: What the hell is a life coach? ----- A parent you can fire.

Posted by: Y-not at June 07, 2013 07:55 AM (5H6zj)

27 they weren't really my life coaches. Do you think I have life-coaches? I thought it would be obvious this is the sort of tomfoolery a conservative doesn't go in for.


Posted by: ace
............
Well, yeah.. but since they are right there in New York..

and just being a New Yorker (and a conservative!) makes you pretty weird to begin with...

Posted by: Chi-Town Jerry at June 07, 2013 07:55 AM (f9c2L)

28 You can commit suicide by tying a bag of helium over your head? Did they amuse each other with funny voices till they passed out, Maybe singing a Chorus of don't worry, be happy.

Posted by: Oldsailors Poet Palin/Bolton 2016 at June 07, 2013 07:55 AM (XIxXP)

29 Suicide should not be an opportunity for giggles.

Posted by: DeepBeam at June 07, 2013 07:55 AM (eKWTg)

30 Alexthechick..

"Really? You can commit suicide by tying a bag of helium over your head".


Actually, that is a good way to do it.   You basically go to sleep as your blood oxygen levels  go down, but you don't get the sense of suffocation because you can still inhale gas.

But the stupid Federal government is going to sell off all the National Helium Reserve and then we're going to be screwed and have to go back to hanging ourselves and stuff.. 

Stupid Federal government!


Posted by: Kasper in Long Beach at June 07, 2013 07:55 AM (HqpV0)

31 It takes a lot of will power to kill yourself that way. I read that Robt. Oppenhieimer's commie girlfriend killed herself by filling the bathtub, taking a bunch of drugs, and kneeling on a pillow on the floor over the tub. When she drifted off, her head fell in the water and she drowned. She was a psychiatrist.

Posted by: Zombie Trayvon Martin at June 07, 2013 07:56 AM (dHIHO)

32

The thing that struck me about that story was how they killed
themselves. Really? You can commit suicide by tying a bag of helium
over your head? That does not spring to mind as an obvious choice. I
presume it's via suffocation but still. The more you know!

 

This was the basis for Kevorkian's second "Thanatron" after they banned the substance in the first one he was using.

Posted by: tsrblke at June 07, 2013 07:56 AM (GaqMa)

33 It's too bad you can't get a refund, Ace, because even before they committed suicide the fact that your twitter handle is "depressive blogger" indicates they weren't doing a bang up job as your life coaches helping you and the pursuit of happiness. (JK) ;^) Actually, I feel bad for their family and friends. Being a family member or friend when someone takes their life (when they're not ill with cancer or something) is terrible.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at June 07, 2013 07:56 AM (iwHSQ)

34 Suicide should not be an opportunity for giggles. Posted by: DeepBeam at June 07, 2013 11:55 AM (eKWTg) Depends on who it is.

Posted by: Oldsailors Poet Palin/Bolton 2016 at June 07, 2013 07:56 AM (XIxXP)

35 I had a life coach. She annoyed the shit out of me. Divorce seemed easier than myself. Or her. I may have miscalculated.

Posted by: JackStraw at June 07, 2013 07:56 AM (g1DWB)

36 Do I get paid more if I stop calling myself a homeschooling mom and say I'm a life coach?

Posted by: Mama AJ at June 07, 2013 07:56 AM (SUKHu)

37 Dr. D'Oh, your idiot s-i-l was the very first thing I thought of when I saw this the other day. True fact. Posted by: weft cut-loop at June 07, 2013 11:52 AM (ujux6) Here, sweetie, have the last of my Pamprin. You obviously need it.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Mmmm. Blondies with whipped cream. at June 07, 2013 07:56 AM (VtjlW)

38 >>>they weren't really my life coaches. Do you think I have life-coaches? I thought it would be obvious this is the sort of tomfoolery a conservative doesn't go in for.


Posted by: ace at June 07, 2013 11:53 AM (LCRYB)


***


Well at least now I know I can joke about it......


Kinda reminds me of jokes where Psychics get killed when their house burns down...as in , if they were psychic didn't they see it coming?

Posted by: LGoPs at June 07, 2013 07:57 AM (Zid/C)

39 Our tax dollars also paid for my s-i-l to offer "life coaching" to a government agency.

Posted by: Dr. Jane D'oh at June 07, 2013 07:57 AM (lVPtV)

40 Let's not have a thread about the best ways to commit suicide. Okay?

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at June 07, 2013 07:57 AM (iwHSQ)

41 When I look back at my life I want to find my old coach and piss in their boots.

Posted by: Beto at June 07, 2013 07:57 AM (VWfCN)

42 Do you think I have life-coaches? I thought it would be obvious this is the sort of tomfoolery a conservative doesn't go in for. With you ace, we can never be sure. It's one of the features of the blog.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at June 07, 2013 07:57 AM (/PCJa)

43 Our tax dollars also paid for my s-i-l to offer "life coaching" to a government agency. Posted by: Dr. Jane D'oh at June 07, 2013 11:57 AM (lVPtV) She must have a good line of shit.

Posted by: Oldsailors Poet Palin/Bolton 2016 at June 07, 2013 07:58 AM (XIxXP)

44 they weren't really my life coaches. Do you think I have life-coaches? I thought it would be obvious this is the sort of tomfoolery a conservative doesn't go in for.


Posted by: ace at June 07, 2013 11:53 AM (LCRYB)

Oh, we knew.  We were just playing along.  Reflected-Sarcasm.

Posted by: Serious Cat at June 07, 2013 07:59 AM (UypUQ)

45 I got a business card from a life coach in the green room of the Oprah show.  True story.

I never called but maybe I should do a welfare check. 

Posted by: SarahW at June 07, 2013 07:59 AM (LYwCh)

46 All I can envision is Matt Foley.

I know, "motivational speaker," but pretty much the same gig.

Posted by: j2spank at June 07, 2013 07:59 AM (Wqwpk)

47 Here, sweetie, have the last of my Pamprin. You obviously need it.

Posted by: alexthechick

Speaking of...

@mattyglesias
Suddenly my Wednesday meeting in Brussels on US vs EU approaches to data privacy and cybersecurity is looking very interesting.

Posted by: weft cut-loop [/i] [/b] at June 07, 2013 07:59 AM (ujux6)

48 What does a life coach say to someone?


"Hey, get a job.  Don't commit crimes and go to jail.  Also, take care of your children."


Wow.  That's really easy.

Posted by: EC at June 07, 2013 07:59 AM (GQ8sn)

49 but you don't get the sense of suffocation because you can still inhale gas. You're still experiencing oxygen starvation, so I don't know how it would mask the feelings of suffocation. Have you tested it out?

Posted by: Zombie Trayvon Martin at June 07, 2013 07:59 AM (dHIHO)

50 Actually, that is a good way to do it. You basically go to sleep as your blood oxygen levels go down, but you don't get the sense of suffocation because you can still inhale gas. Posted by: Kasper in Long Beach at June 07, 2013 11:55 AM (HqpV0) Ahhh, that makes sense. I do agree that it would take a lot of will power to do it that way. With you ace, we can never be sure. It's one of the features of the blog. Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at June 07, 2013 11:57 AM (/PCJa) It's part of keeping us nimble and quick on our toes.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Mmmm. Blondies with whipped cream. at June 07, 2013 07:59 AM (VtjlW)

51 There's actually a "school" in Ft. Lauderdale where you can get a life coaching certification after one weekend.  That's where the s-i-l got hers.

My sister did some writing for a life coach here in Savannah, and the bitch never paid her a dime.

Snake. Oil. Salesmen.

Posted by: Dr. Jane D'oh at June 07, 2013 08:00 AM (lVPtV)

52 Governmental agencies don't need "life coaching." They survive no matter what the scandals and screw ups.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at June 07, 2013 08:00 AM (iwHSQ)

53 If you put a bag over your head, it fills up with carbon dioxide and you suffocate. I don't think that is pleasant.

Posted by: Zombie Trayvon Martin at June 07, 2013 08:00 AM (dHIHO)

54 Seems like a good way to strangle a hobo without the telltale ligature markings.

Posted by: Fritz at June 07, 2013 08:00 AM (UzPAd)

55 Which moron has a life-coach sister whose life is a total mess?

This story scares me because I don't want any of you morons to get ideas.  I assume you're all one bad day away from a bag on the head.

Posted by: bonhomme at June 07, 2013 08:00 AM (yKTI2)

56 Let's not have a thread about the best ways to commit suicide. Okay? Posted by: FenelonSpoke at June 07, 2013 11:57 AM (iwHSQ) I have visited the depth of my soul on one occasion. Yep, straight up suicidal. Two things stopped me. First, I was afraid it would hurt, second, I was just a little curious about what was gonna happen next.

Posted by: Oldsailors Poet Palin/Bolton 2016 at June 07, 2013 08:00 AM (XIxXP)

57 Shouldn't they be called  death coaches at this point?

Posted by: Ammo Dump at June 07, 2013 08:00 AM (GgPam)

58 Quick, check DU before their Obama photo joke is memory holed.  

Posted by: Beagle at June 07, 2013 08:00 AM (sOtz/)

59 My life coach was Terrence Aloysius "Slip" Mahoney.

Posted by: teh Wind at June 07, 2013 08:00 AM (JIMJN)

60 Back in the good ole days, before the modern therapeutic culture, life coaches were your parents, relatives, friends and clergy.  Of course, they didn't charge you $150 an hour for their coaching, so you know somebody had to come along and turn it into a business.

Posted by: LGoPs at June 07, 2013 08:01 AM (Zid/C)

61 Cue "Suicide is Painless"

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at June 07, 2013 08:01 AM (V1ZIU)

62

The "helium in a bag" method gets a lot of recommendations from the suicide crowd(not first hand, IYKWIM). 

I can see how a successful person who really wants to help some of the bleep-tards out there might go the success coach route.  However, I think it's a vanity thing for most of them.  And there are always fools with more money than sense to pay for them.

 

 

Posted by: RightWingProf at June 07, 2013 08:01 AM (IC6Er)

63 Ace, if you still need a Life Coach, call me.  I've got an open schedule, except for Thursdays between 1 and 2 pm, when they let me out in the yard.

Posted by: Jerry Sandusky at June 07, 2013 08:01 AM (G3oyR)

64

"they weren't really my life coaches. Do you think I have life-coaches?"

 

First the government lies to me, then Ace.

 

I'm disappointed and saddened.

Posted by: jwest at June 07, 2013 08:01 AM (u2a4R)

65 There's actually a "school" in Ft. Lauderdale where you can get a life coaching certification after one weekend. That's where the s-i-l got hers. Wait. So people will pay me money to give them common sense advice and call them idiots? 1) How did I miss this exciting and rewarding opportunity? 2) Where do I sign up?

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at June 07, 2013 08:01 AM (/PCJa)

66 You're still experiencing oxygen starvation, so I don't know how it would mask the feelings of suffocation. ---- IIRC people who die from CO poisoning don't realize it's happening. I assume this would be similar.

Posted by: Y-not at June 07, 2013 08:01 AM (5H6zj)

67 What did they know that we don't know?

Posted by: Vashta Nerada at June 07, 2013 08:02 AM (54/YX)

68 I've been thinking of getting into the life-coaching bidness.  Email me at my nic @ hotmail and tell me your problems and  goals, if any.  I'll get back to you with how to  stop  your fucking whining and get your shit together.

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at June 07, 2013 08:02 AM (CJjw5)

69 My Adblock is blocking the twitter content of these posts?  Anyone else having that problem?

A minute ago when I left the blog to look at the markets a bell went ding in my head.  That NSA data could have probably was used to engage in some wicked financial shenanigans.  Who had access to the data and what did they do with it??

Posted by: Dr. SpongeBob Saget is not accepting tourettes patients at June 07, 2013 08:02 AM (epxV4)

70

>>It's part of keeping us nimble and quick on our toes.

 

Soo...he likes seeing us tripping and falling, I guess??

Posted by: Mama AJ at June 07, 2013 08:02 AM (SUKHu)

71 I had a job coach once.  She was actually a co-worker who was taking courses to go into HR.. so she helped me with my resume and how to present myself and all.. it was amazing the stuff I had never thought of.  So, coaching is not necessarily a bad thing.

Posted by: Chi-Town Jerry at June 07, 2013 08:02 AM (f9c2L)

72 48 What does a life coach say to someone?


"Hey, get a job. Don't commit crimes and go to jail. Also, take care of your children."


Wow. That's really easy.



Also, "Don't forget to go to the gym today.   That'll be $200.  You're welcome."  Srsly.

Posted by: Dr. Jane D'oh at June 07, 2013 08:02 AM (lVPtV)

73 Life coaches are the breasts on a bull.


No offense Ace.

Posted by: dananjcon at June 07, 2013 08:02 AM (jvd3N)

74 Those who can't play, coach. Those who can't play the game of life, life-coach.

Posted by: BlueStateRebel at June 07, 2013 08:02 AM (7ObY1)

75 Now Ace. Don't do what the knockers/testicles person did and miss the joke. We know you don't have life coaches.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at June 07, 2013 08:02 AM (iwHSQ)

76 This is awesome. Barry is trying to give a speech but his aides forgot to put his speech on the podium and he is standing there stuttering like the dunce he is. Man I love Fridays.

Posted by: JackStraw at June 07, 2013 08:02 AM (g1DWB)

77 The couple also led a life coaching consulting company, Why Not Now,...

I think this answers their question.

Posted by: Gregory of Yardale at June 07, 2013 08:02 AM (QXlbZ)

78

Ace, didn't know you were into life coaches. Last I remember you were into cocksmaning or being an asshole to people or whatever.

Posted by: Jollyroger at June 07, 2013 08:03 AM (t06LC)

79 OK, WTF *is* a "life coach?" If someone was just brimming with great advice on how to be successful, wouldn't that person, I dunno, apply that in their own lives instead?

Kind of a scam.

That's what makes me doubt "financial adviser" as a legit profession.  Wouldn't they all be swimming in money if they knew some secret shortcut?

Posted by: bonhomme at June 07, 2013 08:03 AM (yKTI2)

80 Jeebus.  TFG is droning on my TV. 

Posted by: Dr. Jane D'oh at June 07, 2013 08:03 AM (lVPtV)

81 Why do I have that Tom Fogerty song stuck in my head now?

"Put me in, coach!  I'm ready to play!"


Posted by: Dang at June 07, 2013 08:03 AM (Hx2XA)

82 When you got hurt when you were with your life coach did they tell you to rub dirt on it?  If you complained did they give you a tube a of Vagisil?  Did they wear the sausage hugging coach shorts and wear a whistle around their necks?  Did they chew gum fast a talk in a harsh staccato?  These are the questions we need answers to.

Posted by: Truck Monkey, Gruntled New Business Owner at June 07, 2013 08:03 AM (RNhbC)

83 Now you need people to coach you through life? There was once a time when that was God's role.

Apparently, he is a better fit for the job.

Posted by: Marcus at June 07, 2013 08:03 AM (GGCsk)

84 I wanna know why SarahW was in Oprah's green room!

Posted by: Chi-Town Jerry at June 07, 2013 08:03 AM (f9c2L)

85 Even at my lowest, I've never considered suicide.

Posted by: Y-not at June 07, 2013 08:03 AM (5H6zj)

86 I'll get back to you with how to stop your fucking whining and get your shit together. Posted by: Empire of Jeff at June 07, 2013 12:02 PM (CJjw5) EoJ, Life Coach = Terry Tate, Office Linebacker.

Posted by: Oldsailors Poet Palin/Bolton 2016 at June 07, 2013 08:03 AM (XIxXP)

87 Do you think I have life-coaches? Posted by: ace at June 07, 2013 11:53 AM (LCRYB) YES-- us!

Posted by: Zombie Trayvon Martin at June 07, 2013 08:04 AM (dHIHO)

88 Posted by: Empire of Jeff at June 07, 2013 12:02 PM You forgot to tell them that they need to pay exorbitant sums in advance.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at June 07, 2013 08:04 AM (iwHSQ)

89 "Hey, get a job. Don't commit crimes and go to jail. Also, take care of your children." Wow. That's really easy. Unless it's advice to a blues musician. In which case the only advice necessary is: "Do NOT, under any circumstances, go down to the crossroads. Nothing good can come of that."

Posted by: BlueStateRebel at June 07, 2013 08:04 AM (7ObY1)

90 Is it too late to go off-topic yet?

Posted by: [/i][/b]akula_51 at June 07, 2013 08:04 AM (Vgn84)

91 They were   life  "coaches",   in   much the same way that the Cubs have relief "pitchers".

Posted by: Roy at June 07, 2013 08:04 AM (VndSC)

92 Cradle to grave advice, apparently

Posted by: Methos at June 07, 2013 08:04 AM (hO9ad)

93 So what are the 'requirements' to allow one to hang out a shingle that says 'Life Coach' in this country?

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at June 07, 2013 08:04 AM (CQnAL)

94

I had a life coach once, but I ate her.

Posted by: Fat Bastard RINO at June 07, 2013 08:04 AM (OlN4e)

95 Helium.

"Go out with a funny voice" is what I always say.


Posted by: Dang at June 07, 2013 08:04 AM (Hx2XA)

96 The NSA knew you were kidding before you did.

Posted by: dfbaskwill at June 07, 2013 08:04 AM (ndlFj)

97 That's what makes me doubt "financial adviser" as a legit profession. Actually, real "financial advisers" do tend to do pretty well for themselves. They often don't live lives of opulence precisely because they're taking their own advice. I know a couple. They don't drive really nice cars, they don't own 40,000 sq ft luxury homes. But they never *actually* need to work another day of their lives.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at June 07, 2013 08:04 AM (/PCJa)

98 I read that Robt. Oppenhieimer's commie girlfriend killed herself by filling the bathtub, taking a bunch of drugs, and kneeling on a pillow on the floor over the tub. When she drifted off, her head fell in the water and she drowned. She was a psychiatrist.

Posted by: Zombie Trayvon Martin at June 07, 2013 11:56 AM (dHIHO)



I'm way too lazy to go to that much trouble. 

Posted by: Tami[/i][/b][/u][/s] at June 07, 2013 08:04 AM (X6akg)

99 The saddest part is that we have lost the man's  music along with the man:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OXZzfI9uG68


Posted by: Kasper in Long Beach at June 07, 2013 08:05 AM (HqpV0)

100 President Fires Press Spokesman

South Korean President Park Geun-hye fired her press spokesman for an unspecified “unsavory incident” while in the U.S., overshadowing an otherwise well-received summit trip in which she and U.S. President Barack Obama presented a united front against North Korea.

The move was announced on Thursday during a short news briefing in Los Angeles, the final stop on Ms. ParkÂ’s first visit to the U.S. as president.

Posted by: J Carey at June 07, 2013 08:05 AM (e8kgV)

101 Anyone throw a flag on the play?

Posted by: Dang at June 07, 2013 08:05 AM (Hx2XA)

102 You forgot to tell them that they need to pay exorbitant sums in advance.

 

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at June 07, 2013 12:04 PM (iwHSQ)

 

--------------------------

 

That's included at the end of  your complimentary assessment.

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at June 07, 2013 08:05 AM (CJjw5)

103

Well now that there are two opeaning in the market

*clears throat*

Here is my easy 3 step way to live:

1. Do not commit suicide.Ever. Then you stop living.

2.Eat and drink. This is a must to keep living.

3.Hold down a job. This will get you laid. Eventually.

 

Posted by: Stone at June 07, 2013 08:05 AM (4sMhD)

104 LOL, Ace you know if you post a link some of us will click it and I did.

Posted by: Vic at June 07, 2013 08:05 AM (lZvxr)

105 19 You can commit suicide by tying a bag of helium over your head? They're off to see the Wizard, the wonderful Wizard of Oz! Posted by: EC at June 07, 2013 11:53 AM (GQ8sn) ___________ Hilarious

Posted by: Body Builder at June 07, 2013 08:05 AM (DrC22)

106 Well, that's the end of the film. Now, here's the meaning of life. Thank you, Brigitte. M-hmm. Well, it's nothing very special. Uh, try and be nice to people, avoid eating fat, read a good book every now and then, get some walking in, and try and live together in peace and harmony with people of all creeds and nations, and, finally, here are some completely gratuitous pictures of penises to annoy the censors and to hopefully spark some sort of controversy, which, it seems, is the only way, these days, to get the jaded, video-sated public off their fucking arses and back in the sodding cinema. Family entertainment bollocks. What they want is filth: people doing things to each other with chainsaws during tupperware parties, babysitters being stabbed with knitting needles by gay presidential candidates, vigilante groups strangling chickens, armed bands of theatre critics exterminating mutant goats-- Where's the fun in pictures? Oh, well, there we are. Here's the theme music. Goodnight.
[music]
[dong]
['Monty Python's Flying Circus' theme]
[wind]

Posted by: Beagle at June 07, 2013 08:05 AM (sOtz/)

107 Obama is a stuttering clusterfuck of a miserable speechgiver, live from San Jose right now.

Posted by: scottst at June 07, 2013 08:05 AM (EMr2t)

108 dark humor indeed.

Posted by: joeindc44 didn't write this either at June 07, 2013 08:05 AM (QxSug)

109 I had a job coach once. She was actually a co-worker who was taking courses to go into HR.. so she helped me with my resume and how to present myself and all.. it was amazing the stuff I had never thought of. So, coaching is not necessarily a bad thing.

Posted by: Chi-Town Jerry at June 07, 2013 12:02 PM (f9c2L)

 

 

Yeah, I had a football coach once. It started out good. But then, after a hard game, he came into the showers to slap me on the butt and tell me we'll get him next time, tiger.

 

Only thing that made it weird was that he was naked and we won.

Posted by: Penn State Tight end at June 07, 2013 08:05 AM (t06LC)

110 Except many blues musicians do want to travel to a certain crossroad on the off chance that the Deevul hisself is there.  What is a soul when one can become a god of the blues?

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at June 07, 2013 08:06 AM (CQnAL)

111 I wonder who was their death coach.

Posted by: Roy at June 07, 2013 08:06 AM (VndSC)

112 Well, I think we can conclude that life-coaching is not very uplifting or inspirational.

Posted by: Marcus at June 07, 2013 08:06 AM (GGCsk)

113 Life coaches, huh? Obviously that team had a losing seasom.

Posted by: He who laughs last at June 07, 2013 08:06 AM (s6XYG)

114 For anyone who may still be confused : a life coach is supposed to be for life what a football coach is to a football player. Thus the humor in the life coaches  committing suicide.

Of course anyone who calls themselves a 'life coach' is just someone scamming insecure people.

Posted by: [/i] An Observation at June 07, 2013 08:06 AM (ylhEn)

115 Is crack a good idea? Yes. Crack is just plain awesome... I would highly recommend it. Especially if you follow it up with unprotected sex with a Rwandan prostitute.

Posted by: Weew at June 07, 2013 08:06 AM (BNuW6)

116 I hate to be insensitive but if you need a "life coach?" You really don't have one. Crack is poison. Stick with likker or weed....

Posted by: White guy who tans so heavily he can "Pass..." at June 07, 2013 08:07 AM (ULH4o)

117 The only "crack" I engage in is on a woman's backside. So with that in mind, yes, crack is a good idea.

Posted by: Marcus at June 07, 2013 08:07 AM (GGCsk)

118 I want to punch something so badly right now.  I'm sure it has nothing to do with the epic douchebag blathering on TV right now.

Hi, NSA! 

Posted by: Dr. Jane D'oh at June 07, 2013 08:07 AM (lVPtV)

119 Perhaps they can give me some tips when they get down here.

Posted by: Satan at June 07, 2013 08:07 AM (OlN4e)

120 There's a "soldiering on" joke in there somewhere, but I can't find it.

If you need a coach, especially if you're in the tech industry try this one http://www.timesavorcoaching.com/

Posted by: Iblis at June 07, 2013 08:07 AM (9221z)

121 Didn't make the playoffs, as it were.

Posted by: He who laughs last at June 07, 2013 08:07 AM (s6XYG)

122 I'm way too lazy to go to that much trouble. Posted by: Tami at June 07, 2013 12:04 PM (X6akg) If you change you mind at the last minute, you can't get up. Me no likee.

Posted by: Zombie Trayvon Martin at June 07, 2013 08:07 AM (dHIHO)

123 So two Obama voters offed themselves..  am I getting this right?

Posted by: Yip at June 07, 2013 08:07 AM (/jHWN)

124 Sooo these life coaches were the equivalent of Chris Bosh's three-point jumper?   IE, not very good.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit [/s][/b][/u][/i] at June 07, 2013 08:07 AM (4df7R)

125 What will become of their   life-assistant-coaches  now?

Posted by: Roy at June 07, 2013 08:07 AM (VndSC)

126 You can get lost in some cracks. Just sayin...

Posted by: Marcus at June 07, 2013 08:08 AM (GGCsk)

127

Here's the thing: Those were my life-coaches. So I'm a bit without a rudder now.

 

Without a rudder, eh? 

 

Tan lines, ace.  Just think about tan lines.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit [/s][/b][/u][/i] at June 07, 2013 08:08 AM (4df7R)

128 "lie lie lie lie lie" - Obama

Posted by: scottst at June 07, 2013 08:08 AM (EMr2t)

129 Better to have an "Image Consultant" than a "Life Coach".

Your still bummed, but you look good.

Posted by: Fernando from the hideaway at June 07, 2013 08:08 AM (LTquJ)

130

Putting this tomfoolery aside for a moment, here's an update on the Zimmerman hearing:

 

On cross examination the prosecution's audio expert is being pummeled by Zimmerman's woefully inadequate lawyers.  Still, instead of making a crisp, hardhitting point and then moving to the next slapdown, this lawyer drags it out.

 

No Stetson, No silver belt buckle, No southern drawl.  Where do people come up with lawyers like this.

Posted by: jwest at June 07, 2013 08:08 AM (u2a4R)

131 Wow, Obama on live TV trying to claim the ACA is pushing down prices in California.

Posted by: Methos at June 07, 2013 08:08 AM (hO9ad)

132 My guess is that life coaches always vote democrat. I bet they said that drinking to excess and smoking pot were bad things too.

Posted by: Jack at June 07, 2013 08:08 AM (gWHwW)

133 57 Shouldn't they be called death coaches at this point? Posted by: Ammo Dump at June 07, 2013 12:00 PM (GgPam) I believe the proper grammar would be "dead coaches".

Posted by: NukemHill at June 07, 2013 08:08 AM (8HmhD)

134

@83

 

Centerfield? That was John too.

Posted by: Jollyroger at June 07, 2013 08:08 AM (t06LC)

135 Vic sighting! >>>Posted by: Vic at June 07, 2013 12:05 PM (lZvxr) (ppl were worried on the early thread)

Posted by: Y-not at June 07, 2013 08:09 AM (5H6zj)

136

I had a life coach when I was really young. He was my father.  Eventualy I grew up, moved out, and figured it out.  I shake my head when I think of all the wasted effort, $$, and time that people spend on crap like this.

 

Back in the 60s and 70s we simply told people who needed 'special life coaching' to simply join the military. A few months of basic will sort out  a lot of life's so-called complexities.

Posted by: Foghorn Leghorn at June 07, 2013 08:09 AM (EGPJQ)

137 I went to a life-coach once. He made me take a lap.

Posted by: Roy at June 07, 2013 08:09 AM (VndSC)

138 My life coach s-i-l is a complete Obamabot, and thinks he's doing an awesome job, according to my husband.

So she's got that going for her.

Posted by: Dr. Jane D'oh at June 07, 2013 08:09 AM (lVPtV)

139 That cockholster from CNN thinks that it's just hilarious. "My wife is in so much pain" speaks volumes.

Posted by: Max Entropy at June 07, 2013 08:09 AM (qnm/I)

140 I am a little unclear on the helium. What did that have to do with their suicide? Did they speak in funny high-pitched voices until they died of laughter?

Posted by: Marcus at June 07, 2013 08:09 AM (GGCsk)

141 I'm thinking of starting an Internet Service company where I promise that the NSA does NOT have a back door into my servers.  Do you think I would have trouble getting customers?

Also, do I have to mention Frogs in this post....or was that the last thread?

Anyway, Frogs.

Posted by: Not an Artist at June 07, 2013 08:10 AM (uRumV)

142 A few months of basic will sort out a lot oflife's so-called complexities "Happiness is enough sleep." Juan "Johnny" Rico.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at June 07, 2013 08:10 AM (/PCJa)

143 So two gay people are mad because a baker won't bake their wedding cake. The state of Colorado is pressing charges against them. It's theses kinds of stories that make me wish I was a baker in Colorado, because I'd make the cake FOR FREE. Under the utmost of sanitary conditions of course.

Posted by: That Guy at June 07, 2013 08:10 AM (LYtpo)

144
There is only One Life Coach:

Buddha said "I have found a way."

Muhammad said "I have found a way."

However:

Christ said  ..... "I *AM* the Way, and the Truth, and the Life"

Posted by: Strife at June 07, 2013 08:11 AM (Ul1S7)

145 The saddest part is that we have lost the man's music along with the man:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OXZzfI9uG68

**


Oh dear. That explains alot.


Posted by: dananjcon at June 07, 2013 08:11 AM (jvd3N)

146 Hey, TFG.  How about you go on Obamacare? 

*seething hatred*

Posted by: Dr. Jane D'oh at June 07, 2013 08:11 AM (lVPtV)

147 Honestly, though I hope they rest in peace. Clearly they had some issues and hopefully their families will find solace in prayer.

Posted by: Marcus at June 07, 2013 08:11 AM (GGCsk)

148 I am a little unclear on the helium. What did that have to do with their suicide? Did they speak in funny high-pitched voices until they died of laughter?


Helium is an inert gas, meaning it won't react with anything in your body to form secondary products.  Inhaling it will eventually displace the oxygen in your lungs, and you will eventually asphyxiate.

Posted by: EC at June 07, 2013 08:11 AM (GQ8sn)

149 147. Bingo

Posted by: Foghorn Leghorn at June 07, 2013 08:11 AM (EGPJQ)

150

@145

 

It's not a pretty death.

 

But seriously, pure helium will kill you like pure CO2 will.

Posted by: Weasels from "Who Framed Roger Rabbit?" at June 07, 2013 08:11 AM (t06LC)

151 Well now I guess we could call these two "life-challenged coaches."

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at June 07, 2013 08:11 AM (CQnAL)

152 Notice how TFG starts that aggravating whistling thing the more he lies?

Posted by: Dr. Jane D'oh at June 07, 2013 08:12 AM (lVPtV)

153
Haha, you can't find me!

Posted by: Rooster Junk at June 07, 2013 08:12 AM (g5YAm)

154

I get why she killed herself.  She was a morose cow, but his reasoning was???

 

Why not, she's going to off herself, I have nothing else to do on Saturday. 

 

Stupid, stupid people.  Not once ounce of sympathy.  Sorry. 

Posted by: BurtTC at June 07, 2013 08:12 AM (TOk1P)

155 144 That cockholster from CNN thinks that it's just hilarious.
"My wife is in so much pain" speaks volumes.

Posted by: Max Entropy at June 07, 2013 12:09 PM (qnm/I)


The person who wrote the tweet is not from CNN....she's linking the CNN story.

Posted by: Tami[/i][/b][/u][/s] at June 07, 2013 08:12 AM (X6akg)

156 That's included at the end of your complimentary assessment. I see you have the patter down. EOJ. Perhaps you can hawk it on Daily Kos or Democratic Underground something.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at June 07, 2013 08:12 AM (iwHSQ)

157 Suicide should not be an opportunity for giggles.

Posted by: DeepBeam at June 07, 2013 11:55 AM (eKWTg)


Boy, are you at the wrong blog.

Posted by: Fernando from the hideaway at June 07, 2013 08:12 AM (LTquJ)

158 Seriously, what do you think their clients are thinking right about now?

Posted by: Vashta Nerada at June 07, 2013 08:12 AM (54/YX)

159 "You're still experiencing oxygen starvation, so I don't know how it would mask the feelings of suffocation."

You have two systems which trigger a breath response.  One is sensitive to oxygen level and the other to carbon dioxide.  So the CO2 sensors would not be damped, but the O2 sensors would still be triggered.

But hey, what do I know?

Posted by: countrydoc at June 07, 2013 08:12 AM (LdK2Y)

160

@148

They are at an advantage here though. The most noxious of bodily secretions I can think of adding they ingest for fun.

Damn.

 

Posted by: Jollyroger at June 07, 2013 08:13 AM (t06LC)

161 fun, I get to watch ace real time twitter feed go after someone.

Posted by: joeindc44 didn't write this either at June 07, 2013 08:13 AM (QxSug)

162 Life Coaches Who Died http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BN-aJQWMFMA

Posted by: 13times at June 07, 2013 08:13 AM (fGPLK)

163

Funny note about the "strong odor" coming from their apartment. Helium is odor-less.

 

I guess dead life-coaches aren't though.

Posted by: Roy at June 07, 2013 08:13 AM (VndSC)

164 Honestly, though I hope they rest in peace. Clearly they had some issues and hopefully their families will find solace in prayer.

Posted by: Marcus at June 07, 2013 12:11 PM (GGCsk)

 

This.    We laugh    because of the irony, but it's still two people who have lost their lives.  

 

RIP.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit [/s][/b][/u][/i] at June 07, 2013 08:13 AM (4df7R)

165 I am a little unclear on the helium. What did that have to do with their suicide? ---- Dude, helium is the way to do it apparently. Three or four inhalations and apparently you just black out, and thats it.

Posted by: That Guy at June 07, 2013 08:13 AM (LYtpo)

166 Hookers and blow >>> crack alone. And you can let the hookers have the blow. And you'll be blown away by the results. Keep the hookers out of the Val-U-Rite, tho. Or make sure you keep them on a short leash.

Posted by: I R A Darth Aggie ® at June 07, 2013 08:13 AM (1hM1d)

167 And here go the questions.  Watch TFG duck and dodge.


Posted by: Dr. Jane D'oh at June 07, 2013 08:14 AM (lVPtV)

168
I think I should kill myself.

Posted by: Life Coach at June 07, 2013 08:14 AM (g5YAm)

169 I guess this is as good a time as any to bring up that I've been thinking a lot about Budd Dwyer lately. If you look him up, don't watch any videos.

Posted by: AmishDude at June 07, 2013 08:14 AM (T0NGe)

170 "Not only is suicide a sin, it is THE sin. It is the ultimate and absolute evil, the refusal to take an interest in existence; the refusal to take the oath of loyalty to life. The man who kills a man, kills a man. The man who kills himself, kills all men; as far as he is concerned he wipes out the world. His act is worse (symbolically considered) than any rape or dynamite outrage. For it destroys all buildings: it insults all women. The thief is satisfied with diamonds; but the suicide is not: that is his crime. He cannot be bribed, even by the blazing stones of the Celestial City. The thief compliments the things he steals, if not the owner of them. But the suicide insults everything on earth by not stealing it. He defiles every flower by refusing to live for its sake. There is not a tiny creature in the cosmos at whom his death is not a sneer. When a man hangs himself on a tree, the leaves might fall off in anger and the birds fly away in fury: for each has received a personal affront. Of course there may be pathetic emotional excuses for the act. There often are for rape, and there almost always are for dynamite. But if it comes to clear ideas and the intelligent meaning of things, then there is much more rational and philosophic truth in the burial at the cross-roads and the stake driven through the body, than in Mr. Archer's suicidal automatic machines. There is a meaning in burying the suicide apart. The man's crime is different from other crimes -- for it makes even crimes impossible."   -G.K.Chesterton

Posted by: Strife at June 07, 2013 08:14 AM (Ul1S7)

171

152 -

 

They got found several days later, because they were stinking up their building.  I don't think the  "relatives" were very close, so you needn't worry about how they're coping. 

Posted by: BurtTC at June 07, 2013 08:14 AM (TOk1P)

172 163Seriously, what do you think their clients are thinking right about now?

Posted by: Vashta Nerada at June 07, 2013 12:12 PM (54/YX)

--------------------

"Where do I sign up?"

Posted by: Foghorn Leghorn at June 07, 2013 08:14 AM (EGPJQ)

173 This. We laugh because of the irony, but it's still two people who have lost their lives. They did not "lose" their lives, they threw their lives away.

Posted by: AmishDude at June 07, 2013 08:15 AM (T0NGe)

174 My life coach always wants to check me for scoliosis.

Posted by: garrett at June 07, 2013 08:15 AM (deh5N)

175 135 I'm dreading the Zimmerman trial (I live about 10 miles from Sanford)... the local cable news (cf13) is already doing its best to ensure race riots when the verdict comes.

Posted by: Weew at June 07, 2013 08:15 AM (LnQr8)

176 And here go the questions. Watch TFG duck and dodge.


Posted by: Dr. Jane D'oh at June 07, 2013 12:14 PM (lVPtV)

 

*resisting urge to change "duck and dodge" to "shuck and jive"*

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit [/s][/b][/u][/i] at June 07, 2013 08:15 AM (4df7R)

177 And here I was trying to get off the barrel proof Kentucky Bourbon.

One day the news is going to be uplifting and I'll quit.

Posted by: Marcus at June 07, 2013 08:15 AM (GGCsk)

178 153 I am a little unclear on the helium. What did that have to do with their
suicide? Did they speak in funny high-pitched voices until they died of
laughter?


Helium is an inert gas, meaning it won't react with anything in your body to form secondary products. Inhaling it will eventually displace the oxygen in your lungs, and you will eventually asphyxiate.

The idea is that you'll continue to breath normally, until you pass out and die. No gasping for breath or drowning sensation. Allegedly its painless. I believe nitrogen would've been better. As it makes up most of the gases we breathe anyway. A number of NASA engineers were accidentally killed when they walked in to a nitrogen filled chamber and collapsed. They had no idea anything was wrong.

Posted by: Iblis at June 07, 2013 08:15 AM (9221z)

179 Life coach...Psychic...is there a difference/

Posted by: BignJames at June 07, 2013 08:16 AM (Sg0G/)

180 I feel sorry for them. They were both suffering from a treatable mental illness but b/c of the illness, could not see it.

Posted by: Zombie Trayvon Martin at June 07, 2013 08:16 AM (dHIHO)

181

169 -

 

Not lost.  Gave away.  Huge difference. 

Posted by: BurtTC at June 07, 2013 08:16 AM (TOk1P)

182 Two people died and the person who Tweeted thought it was hilarious. I get why it's interesting, but still, two people died. Not so funny.

Posted by: Travis at June 07, 2013 08:16 AM (/gUgY)

183

>>>They did not "lose" their lives, they threw their lives away.

 

 

Darwinism - a.k.a. a dose of bleach in the gene pool.

Posted by: Roy at June 07, 2013 08:16 AM (VndSC)

184 162Suicide should not be an opportunity for giggles.

Posted by: DeepBeam at June 07, 2013 11:55 AM (eKWTg)
Boy, are you at the wrong blog.

Posted by: Fernando from the hideaway at June 07, 2013 12:12 PM (LTquJ)

---------------------------

Thread. Winner.

Posted by: Foghorn Leghorn at June 07, 2013 08:16 AM (EGPJQ)

185 "I... I... I want to be very clear."

"Hype."


Posted by: Dr. Jane D'oh at June 07, 2013 08:16 AM (lVPtV)

186 They didn't die, they killed themselves. There is real difference.

Posted by: Jack at June 07, 2013 08:17 AM (gWHwW)

187 >They did not "lose" their lives, they threw their lives away.<

I get your point, but it's very sad they were that desperate and did not get help. I suppose that's the sad irony.

Posted by: Marcus at June 07, 2013 08:17 AM (GGCsk)

188 My life coaches were named Dr. Mom and Dr. Dad.

Posted by: NCKate at June 07, 2013 08:17 AM (nVCJW)

189 Life Coach? Pretty sure I had a whole series of them. Grandparents, parents, aunts, uncles, and a nagging older sister, and then, there was that Drill Sergeant who for some reason thought I should be imbued with a sense of respect and discipline.

What has all of that to do with this couple? Well...., nothing.

Posted by: Mike Hammer at June 07, 2013 08:17 AM (aDwsi)

190
My life coach told me to "Punt".






It was first and goal.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at June 07, 2013 08:17 AM (g5YAm)

191 R lee Ermey was my life coach . His advice was quite simple . He said , "I'd better unfuck myself or he'd gouge out my eyeballs and skullfuck me ." . Those gentle words have guided me ever since .

Posted by: awkward davies at June 07, 2013 08:17 AM (WK8VM)

192 I... I... I want to be very clear.

If only we'd let the guy be clear.

Posted by: Waterhouse at June 07, 2013 08:17 AM (QrXl6)

193

"Centerfield? That was John too."

 

 

CenterFOLD, moron, centerFOLD!

Posted by: Cicero Kid, reads magazines. at June 07, 2013 08:17 AM (jz0+s)

194 187Two people died and the person who Tweeted thought it was hilarious. I get why it's interesting, but still, two people died. Not so funny.

Posted by: Travis at June 07, 2013 12:16 PM (/gUgY)

-------------------

Funny. No one felt that way about my death.

Posted by: Christopher Stevens at June 07, 2013 08:17 AM (EGPJQ)

195 We laugh because of the irony, but it's still two people who have lost their lives. No, they gave up their lives, voluntarily. Apparently. What was lost was hope. A person without hope really has nothing to live for.

Posted by: I R A Darth Aggie ® at June 07, 2013 08:17 AM (1hM1d)

196  I am a little unclear on the helium. What did that have to do with their suicide? Did they speak in funny high-pitched voices until they died of laughter?

Posted by: Marcus at June 07, 2013 12:09 PM (GGCsk) ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ------

I did that in sixth grade and face-planted like a meteor.   Apparently helium is not oxygen.  

Posted by: Beagle at June 07, 2013 08:17 AM (sOtz/)

197 They did not "lose" their lives, they threw their lives away.

Posted by: AmishDude at June 07, 2013 12:15 PM (T0NGe)

 

They did so   because they lost something in themselves   and in their lives,   and clearly didn't know how to fill   that gap.  

 

I am not saying what they did was right or good, only that I have sympathy for them. 

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit [/s][/b][/u][/i] at June 07, 2013 08:18 AM (4df7R)

198 180 135 I'm dreading the Zimmerman trial (I live about 10 miles from Sanford)... the local cable news (cf13) is already doing its best to ensure race riots when the verdict comes. Posted by: Weew at June 07, 2013 12:15 PM (LnQr Stock up on food, water, and ammo. Maybe, plywood to board your windows if you think they will get broken. If anyone tries to set your building on fire, shoot to kill.

Posted by: Zombie Trayvon Martin at June 07, 2013 08:18 AM (dHIHO)

199 My life coach is asking the GM to trade me.

Posted by: Waterhouse at June 07, 2013 08:18 AM (QrXl6)

200 >Posted by: Iblis at June 07, 2013 12:15 PM (9221z) <

Honestly, the knowledge on this blog scares me some times. I bet it has the same affect on the NSA.

Posted by: Marcus at June 07, 2013 08:18 AM (GGCsk)

201 I think they must have been in a lot of pain and I am sorry for them. And I think even if their family hadn't been in touch for a few days they'd still care . I don't talk to some friends or family for weeks at a time and they'd care if I committed suicide. But I still don't get the idea of life coaches.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at June 07, 2013 08:19 AM (iwHSQ)

202

192 -

 

They were nihilists.  Where's the irony? 

Posted by: BurtTC at June 07, 2013 08:19 AM (TOk1P)

203 "Trade-offs" to keep us safe. 

Posted by: Dr. Jane D'oh at June 07, 2013 08:19 AM (lVPtV)

204 I'm thinking of starting an Internet Service company where I promise that the NSA does NOT have a back door into my servers. Do you think I would have trouble getting customers?

Yeah, you can assure people that, but how would you know?  Maybe the Intel NIC you installed has a backdoor.  Maybe the Linux/Windows/BSD version you installed has a clever bit of code deep deep down in some driver or bit of kernel that only a few people in the world would look at and understand.

Posted by: bonhomme at June 07, 2013 08:19 AM (yKTI2)

205 I agree.  Don't find the story particularly funny, but I guess I am wierd that way.

Posted by: Dr.jewells45trying to keep from going crazy at June 07, 2013 08:19 AM (l/N7H)

206 190 "I... I... I want to be very clear." "Hype." Posted by: Dr. Jane D'oh at June 07, 2013 12:16 PM (lVPtV) Isn't your sil a "life coach" or some such?

Posted by: BignJames at June 07, 2013 08:19 AM (Sg0G/)

207 I get your point, but it's very sad they were that desperate and did not get help. I suppose that's the sad irony.
Posted by: Marcus at June 07, 2013 12:17 PM (GGCsk)------------- Sounds like they could have used a life coach.

Posted by: Foghorn Leghorn at June 07, 2013 08:19 AM (EGPJQ)

208 "People become life coaches for the same reason they become psych majors -- to figure out why they have no purpose in life or (with psych majors) they are so fucked up." Posted by: wooga I dated a guy in college whose parents were friends with a psychiatrist and his wife. The psychiatrists wife shot him in the gut.

Posted by: nerdygirl at June 07, 2013 08:19 AM (Kln64)

209 I think if  more people were gay or lesbian we would have less problems in America.

Posted by: LaQuisha Largess at June 07, 2013 08:20 AM (R8X+X)

210 The helium plugs into your brain receptors where the oxygen molecule should go.

Posted by: Waldo at June 07, 2013 08:20 AM (dHIHO)

211 Isn't your sil a "life coach" or some such?

Posted by: BignJames at June 07, 2013 12:19 PM (Sg0G/




Yes.

Posted by: Dr. Jane D'oh at June 07, 2013 08:20 AM (lVPtV)

212 A person without hope really has nothing to live for.

Posted by: I R A Darth Aggie ® at June 07, 2013 12:17 PM (1hM1d) ---- ---- ---- ---- ----- ---- ----- -----

Football season?  

Posted by: Beagle at June 07, 2013 08:20 AM (sOtz/)

213

"I wonder who was their death coach."

 

 

hELLO!

Posted by: COACH at June 07, 2013 08:20 AM (jz0+s)

214 Chicago leads the nation in a new type of crime wave.  Theft of hair extensions.  Though I am having trouble shaking this image of someone in Chi-town in a trench coat in an alley and they yell 'Hey girl! need extensions?' as they open their trench coat.
http://finance.yahoo.com/news/hair-extensions-hot-underground-commodity-100600130.html

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at June 07, 2013 08:20 AM (CQnAL)

215 146 I'm thinking of starting an Internet Service company where I promise that the NSA does NOT have a back door into my servers. Do you think I would have trouble getting customers? Also, do I have to mention Frogs in this post....or was that the last thread? Anyway, Frogs. Posted by: Not an Artist at June 07, 2013 12:10 PM (uRumV) I am totally with you on that. I've had the same thought. I keep thinking about Cryptonomicon. We need to buy some middle-of-nowhere island and build a massive, five-9s data farm with enormous bandwidth. Fuck the government.

Posted by: NukemHill at June 07, 2013 08:20 AM (8HmhD)

216 The helium plugs into your brain receptors where the oxygen molecule should go.


No.

Posted by: EC at June 07, 2013 08:20 AM (GQ8sn)

217 Are "life coaches" the same as those "sex therapists " who screw their patients to teach them how to have sex correctly?

Posted by: nerdygirl at June 07, 2013 08:20 AM (Kln64)

218 Posted by: ace at June 07, 2013 11:53 AM (LCRYB) Ace I'm sorry people didn't get your joke. I laughed out loud. My kids were like "what's so funny?" And I'm like "uh, I don't think you would get it..." But they persisted until I just finally told them another joke.

Posted by: elizabethe on the phone at June 07, 2013 08:20 AM (qPCAa)

219
But I still don't get the idea of life coaches.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at June 07, 2013 12:19 PM (iwHSQ)

 

People go to life coaches when they thnk they're too   cosmopolitan    to bother with religion.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit [/s][/b][/u][/i] at June 07, 2013 08:21 AM (4df7R)

220

Ugggh. post fail

Posted by: Coach Kevorkian at June 07, 2013 08:21 AM (jz0+s)

221
My life coach told me I was making a spectacle of myself working at the glass factory.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at June 07, 2013 08:21 AM (g5YAm)

222 Turning off the TV.  Can't take any more.

Posted by: Dr. Jane D'oh at June 07, 2013 08:21 AM (lVPtV)

223 Life coach? phooey! My day is coming soon.

Posted by: Prospective Death Panel Member at June 07, 2013 08:21 AM (l3vZN)

224 I'm watching the "Boosh did it" pseudo-press conference/lecture.  It's a good thing I haven't eaten lunch yet. 

Posted by: no good deed at June 07, 2013 08:21 AM (mjR67)

225

>>>Are "life coaches" the same as those "sex therapists " who screw their patients to teach them how to have sex correctly?

 

 

Yes. They screw their patients.

Posted by: Roy at June 07, 2013 08:21 AM (VndSC)

226 Posted by: Zombie Trayvon Martin at June 07, 2013 12:16 PM (dHIHO) Very true.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at June 07, 2013 08:22 AM (iwHSQ)

227 But they persisted until I just finally told them another joke.

"The Aristocrats!"

Posted by: Waterhouse at June 07, 2013 08:22 AM (QrXl6)

228 200
We laugh because of the irony, but it's still two people who have lost their lives.

No, they gave up their lives, voluntarily. Apparently.

What was lost was hope. A person without hope really has nothing to live for.

Posted by: I R A Darth Aggie ® at June 07, 2013 12:17 PM (1hM1d)

   *************** 

 

Which is exactly how the IRS wants conservatives to feel.

Posted by: Foghorn Leghorn at June 07, 2013 08:22 AM (EGPJQ)

229 CO does the trick your brain thing.  Helium just replaces anything useful.  

Posted by: Beagle at June 07, 2013 08:22 AM (sOtz/)

230 Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit at June 07, 2013 12:21 PM (4df7R) You're probably correct about that

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at June 07, 2013 08:22 AM (iwHSQ)

231 180 135 I'm dreading the Zimmerman trial (I live about 10 miles from Sanford)... the local cable news (cf13) is already doing its best to ensure race riots when the verdict comes. Posted by: Weew at June 07, 2013 12:15 PM (LnQr I'm up the road a bit. And yes, the local news is stirring crap up. I won't be surprised at local unrest regardless of the verdict.

Posted by: Mandy P., lurking lurker who lurks at June 07, 2013 08:23 AM (qFpRI)

232 Stuttering clusterfuck still hasn't been told.. apparently he thinks FISA court'l F stands for federal!  Its a FOREIGN  dipshit holy SHIT ARE WE FUCKED UP THE ASS AS A COUNTRY!!! FUCK

NOW THEY CAN READ OUR EMAIL AND LISTEN TO ANY CALL EVER MADE.  YAWN

BUSH LISTENED IN ON TERRORIST CALLS ONLY... AND IT WAS NONSTOP PURE OUTRAGE

Posted by: Billy Bartholomew at June 07, 2013 08:23 AM (X6UJS)

233 What bad thing did Obama say Bush was responsible for this time?

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at June 07, 2013 08:23 AM (iwHSQ)

234

Suicide is just awful.  I have a friend who killed himself over Memorial Day weekend.  He was a jazz artist and kinda well known in the jazz art field with his paintings of the jazz greats and he co-created Black Eyed Sallys in Hartford.  His murals are still on the walls.  We were all shocked, he was best buds with my boss and they were to go on a motorcycle trip this week.  It's so sad, he was only 52 years old.  Depression is a bitch.

Posted by: Jaimo at June 07, 2013 08:23 AM (9U1OG)

235

206 -

 

Honestly, I hope nobody in the world cares about them.  Not family, not friends, not former clients or radio listeners... nobody.

 

These two didn't care enough to consider how anyone who was left behind would feel.  So why should anyone care about them? 

 

Selfish, nihilists.  That's all they were.  The world won't miss them. 

Posted by: BurtTC at June 07, 2013 08:23 AM (TOk1P)

236 FenelonSpoke, breathing.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at June 07, 2013 08:24 AM (CQnAL)

237 "We've established a process that the American people should feel confident with...I don't welcome leaks because there is a reason why these programs are classified."

Oooh, I know this one.  They are classified to protect methodology, not abuse of said methodology. 

Posted by: no good deed at June 07, 2013 08:24 AM (mjR67)

238 "Life coaches" have been around for ages. Used to call 'em "priests" or "ministers" back in the day, though... When your belief system is hollow, it always shows.

Posted by: Brother Cavil, channeling Grumpycat at June 07, 2013 08:24 AM (zUi7I)

239
214 I think if more people were gay or lesbian we would have less problems in America.



Probably.
 

Because we would have fewer births, fewer people, and fewer gays and lesbians who are innately fucked up in the worst of ways......


Posted by: Strife at June 07, 2013 08:24 AM (Ul1S7)

240 I don't think they committed suicide.  I think they were just having fun talking like Alvin the Chipmonk  and they got carried away.

Posted by: polynikes at June 07, 2013 08:24 AM (m2CN7)

241 What a great scene for a Pineapple Express sequel. Dale and Saul decide to end it all by putting helium-filled bags over their heads. A long moment passes as they sit there, waiting for The End. Then, just as they're beginning to succumb, Saul says "As Mayor of the Munchkin city...." They both crack up and rip the bags off, coughing and laughing, both obviously happy to still be alive.

Then Red steps into the room and blows them both away for all the crap they did to him in the first movie.

Posted by: jwpaine @PirateBallerina at June 07, 2013 08:24 AM (/lWM8)

242 215The helium plugs into your brain receptors where the oxygen molecule should go.

Posted by: Waldo at June 07, 2013 12:20 PM (dHIHO)

 ---

 

Isn't that how a phart gets initiated?

Posted by: Foghorn Leghorn at June 07, 2013 08:24 AM (EGPJQ)

243 'Lol. One of my idiot s-i-l is a "life coach." Her husband is the most depressed individual I've ever seen. And she's a nasty bitch.' So if she were a good life coach she would counsel him to cure his depression by divorcing her bitchy self.

Posted by: nerdygirl at June 07, 2013 08:25 AM (Kln64)

244 Oh awesome...you voted for the people who are providing oversight to these programs. 

Posted by: no good deed at June 07, 2013 08:25 AM (mjR67)

245 * crickets *

Posted by: Hillary Clinton at June 07, 2013 08:25 AM (GQ72I)

246
Really?  People thought Ace was serious?  Or did I not get their snark?

My life coach won't tell me.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at June 07, 2013 08:25 AM (g5YAm)

247 203 I'm not too worried, really. Central Florida is not like L.A.... Sanford is surrounded on all sides by miles and miles of heavily armed rednecks who are sick of this shit. That, and the Stand Your Ground law has not gone anywhere,

Posted by: Weew at June 07, 2013 08:26 AM (74T7W)

248 If I had a life coach, he'd be doing helium shots all the time.

Posted by: BHO at June 07, 2013 08:26 AM (EGPJQ)

249
205 >Posted by: Iblis at June 07, 2013 12:15 PM (9221z)
<

Honestly, the knowledge on this blog scares me some times. I bet it has the same affect on the NSA.

Good. They should watch out.

Nitrogen chambers have been proposed as more humane methods of execution than lethal injection or other gas chambers.

On the other hand life coaches have been shown to be able to help people with some forms of mental illness like ADHD.

Posted by: Iblis at June 07, 2013 08:26 AM (9221z)

250 That's what makes me doubt "financial adviser" as a legit profession. Wouldn't they all be swimming in money if they knew some secret shortcut?

I have a Sure Fire way to a small fortune ... first, start with a large one.

Posted by: Paladin at June 07, 2013 08:26 AM (LTquJ)

251 "So people will pay me money to give them common sense advice and call them idiots? " Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) You have no idea how much money you can make by telling people the obvious.

Posted by: Dr. Phil at June 07, 2013 08:26 AM (Kln64)

252 CO does the trick your brain thing.


CO binds to your hemoglobin much tighter than O2.  That's why it's so deadly.

Posted by: EC at June 07, 2013 08:26 AM (GQ8sn)

253 The secret of life is that it really sucks most of the time, and being around stupid people a lot makes it suck even more. Now think about what a life coach does for a living. You guessed it, they talk to stupid people. All day. Every day. It's like retail except you can't overcharge them for their condoms or put their bread under their soup cans "by accident". Anyone who sets themselves up as a professional life coach is automatically unqualified.

Posted by: Cato at June 07, 2013 08:26 AM (rtY2i)

254 Honestly, I hope nobody in the world cares about them. Not family, not friends, not former clients or radio listeners... nobody.

That's what kept me from doing it.  I didn't want to hurt my parents.  I really wanted to go, but the thought of hurting them kept me from acting.  All fine now though.

Posted by: bonhomme at June 07, 2013 08:27 AM (yKTI2)

255

@252

 

Please report to the nearest Nitrogen   chamber.

Posted by: Obamacare Bureaucrat at June 07, 2013 08:28 AM (VndSC)

256 Now, if the country could just get the IRS, the NSA and the DOJ to stop putting the bag over our collective heads.

Posted by: Vashta Nerada at June 07, 2013 08:28 AM (54/YX)

257

I'm not too worried, really. Central Florida is not like L.A.... Sanford is surrounded on all sides by miles and miles of heavily armed rednecks who are sick of this shit. That, and the Stand Your Ground law has not gone anywhere,

 

I'm just down the road myself  and have a bunch of friends in Sanford.

 

They're ready.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit at June 07, 2013 08:29 AM (0HooB)

258 A priest of a minister is not a "life coach". Their purpose to proclaim the gospel, celebrate the Sacraments. pray, empower the church community and and point you to Jesus. It doesn't mean you can't or shouldn't tell your priest of minister what is going on in your life but I don't think any minister should call themselves a "life coach"

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at June 07, 2013 08:29 AM (iwHSQ)

259 224 But I still don't get the idea of life coaches.
Posted by: FenelonSpoke at June 07, 2013 12:19 PM (iwHSQ)

People go to life coaches when they thnk they're too cosmopolitan to bother with religion. Posted by: MWR
-------

That.

Posted by: Mike Hammer at June 07, 2013 08:29 AM (aDwsi)

260 I've been thinking of getting into the life-coaching bidness. Email me at my nic @ hotmail and tell me your problems and goals, if any. I'll get back to you with how to stop your fucking whining and get your shit together.

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at June 07, 2013 12:02 PM (CJjw5)


Dr. Shut the F Up! Dr. Denis Leary recommended you highly in one of his specials!

Posted by: Jay in Ames at June 07, 2013 08:29 AM (i2Lsf)

261

254
Really? People thought Ace was serious?

 

Many of us could picture these life coaches living in the same building as Ace. 

 

Were they found naked with the helium bags over their heads? 

Posted by: jwest at June 07, 2013 08:30 AM (u2a4R)

262 My life coach is Heineken.

Posted by: dananjcon at June 07, 2013 08:30 AM (jvd3N)

263

But I still don't get the idea of life coaches.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at June 07, 2013 12:19 PM (iwHSQ)

-

The basic idea is that if you need a life coach, you have somehow missed maturing into an adult.

Posted by: Vashta Nerada at June 07, 2013 08:31 AM (54/YX)

264 " I had a job coach once. She was actually a co-worker who was taking courses to go into HR.. so she helped me with my resume and how to present myself and all.. it was amazing the stuff I had never thought of. So, coaching is not necessarily a bad thing." Job coaching is very specific. There are worthwhile tips as to how to put together a resume to emphasize your strengths. There are also tips for how to dress for an interview, and how to handle an interview, along with how to answer likely questions. And some people need help knowing how to find job openings.

Posted by: nerdygirl at June 07, 2013 08:31 AM (Kln64)

265 Elizabeth Perkins's character on "How to Live With Your Parents (For the Rest of Your Life)."  That's my idea of a life coach.  She's 52, and still sorta foxy.

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius at June 07, 2013 08:31 AM (BDU/a)

266 267 I'm not too worried, really. Central Florida is not like L.A.... Sanford is surrounded on all sides by miles and miles of heavily armed rednecks who are sick of this shit. That, and the Stand Your Ground law has not gone anywhere, I'm just down the road myself and have a bunch of friends in Sanford. They're ready. Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit at June 07, 2013 12:29 PM (0HooB) I'm up in Lake Co. So I'm not too worried about anything up here because someone trying shit here would get them lows to hell. But my in-laws are about ten minutes down the road from Sanford and elderly so I worry.

Posted by: Mandy P., lurking lurker who lurks at June 07, 2013 08:31 AM (qFpRI)

267 We've established a process that the American people should feel confident with...I don't welcome leaks because there is a reason why these programs are classified. *seething rage* Let's take this at face value for a moment, shall we? Why, O SCOAMT, might "the American people" not "feel confident with" your process? Could it be that your IRS targeted average American citizens for harassment simply because they disagreed with you politically? And could it be because you took the actual person who oversaw such activity and promoted her to be in charge of implementing the provisions of the new health care law? And, why, oh why, might someone have leaked this? Could it be that by casting such a wide net, you are no longer abiding by that very "process" you "established?" Or, rather, could it be that the established process is one that is so wholly bad that leakers (remember how they were called "whistle-blowers" when Bush was in office) felt compelled to say something? Now, with that out of the way, let's get to the unstated part of your argument- see, what you're trying to hide by your argument is that the "process" that was "established" was supposed to target discrete individuals suspected of terrorist activity, or suspected of direct ties to terrorists. This (PRISM and the Telecom warrants) is not that. This is a wide net cast to catch all electronic communications by all US Citizens to anyone anywhere. That is not data to which the US Government has a right; the government should not even have access to it.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at June 07, 2013 08:31 AM (/PCJa)

268 Were they found naked with the helium bags over their heads? Posted by: jwest at June 07, 2013 12:30 PM

That's hot

Posted by: David Carridine at June 07, 2013 08:32 AM (9HP5k)

269

263 -

 

I'm glad to hear that.  You showed concern for your parents, even if you lacked it for yourself.  And that's the  biggest difference between you and them.  They didn't care about anyone  OTHER than themselves. 

 

 

Posted by: BurtTC at June 07, 2013 08:32 AM (TOk1P)

270

My life coach is Heineken.

 

Mine is Arthur Guinness. Or a few of his descendants.

 

Either.  Or.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit at June 07, 2013 08:32 AM (0HooB)

271

Would history have looked differently on Hitler if he had used helium to gas Jews?

 

Would there be less squeaky voice jokes?

Posted by: jwest at June 07, 2013 08:32 AM (u2a4R)

272 I have found some spiritual directors and clergypeople and some therapists helpful in my life. Whenever I hear "life coach " I just laugh.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at June 07, 2013 08:32 AM (iwHSQ)

273 Walk it off.
Quit cryin' like a little titty-baby.
Grow a pair.
Get a fucking job.




Our time's up. That will be $500. Pencil you in for same time next week?

Posted by: Assistant Life-Coach at June 07, 2013 08:33 AM (/lWM8)

274 276 So long as no one fucks with Hollerbach's Willow Tree cafe, we'll be all right.

Posted by: Weew at June 07, 2013 08:33 AM (BNuW6)

275 You know who needs a life-coach? Muff Muncher Michael Douglas.

Posted by: franksalterego at June 07, 2013 08:35 AM (omVzF)

276 "Put me in coach, I'm ready! Coach? Coach?...."

Posted by: Mike Hammer at June 07, 2013 08:36 AM (aDwsi)

277

So long as no one fucks with Hollerbach's Willow Tree cafe, we'll be all right.

 

The owner is a buddy of  mine through the band. We played right around the   corner from there  at   Alive  After 5 for years.

 

Great food. #2 best German  restaurant in the country.  And large   steins of good German beer.  I've left many brain cells   at the bar.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit at June 07, 2013 08:38 AM (0HooB)

278 Posted by: Jaimo at June 07, 2013 12:23 PM (9U1OG) I am very sorry about your friend and yes, clinical depression is a bitch.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at June 07, 2013 08:38 AM (iwHSQ)

279

The whole idea of 'life coaches' irritates. It's got those clueless cotton candy New Age connotations I despise.

 

Suicide is often so pointless--and so very often selfish and cruel. Think Kurt Cobain blowing his own head off in such a way that he would be found by his wife and daughter. Hunter S. Thompson, same thing. And Hemingway? Chickenshit bastard.

 

I can't say how'd I act or what I would do if, for example, I had some sort of excrutiatingly painful terminal illness. I'd like to think I'd handle it as we would all like to handle the end of our lives, with faith and courage and style. Won't know until I get there, I guess. No need to hurry it along.

Posted by: troyriser at June 07, 2013 08:40 AM (vtiE6)

280 87 Even at my lowest, I've never considered suicide. Posted by: Y-not at June 07, 2013 12:03 PM (5H6zj) I'm happy for you. Not all of us can say the same. I can't.

Posted by: Captain Whitebread, Low Level Superhero at June 07, 2013 08:43 AM (4X5NS)

281 If only they'd run to be the senators from Minnesota .

Posted by: WaitingForMartel at June 07, 2013 08:44 AM (BYSrJ)

282 The bit about how they got the idea from euthanasia support sites is a wee bit creepy as well.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Mmmm. Blondies with whipped cream.

*Gulp*

Yeah. Just a tad, a scosh, a touch..."euthanasia support" always me cringe.

Posted by: Dianna at June 07, 2013 08:53 AM (DV/Ik)

283 "Selfish, nihilists. That's all they were. The world won't miss them." Posted by: BurtTC An acquaintance of mine had a son whose girlfriend threatened to commit suicide if he broke up with her. This kid was nineteen or twenty. That's a hell of a thing to do to a guy. Eventually he broke up with her and she didn't follow through.

Posted by: nerdygirl at June 07, 2013 08:54 AM (Kln64)

284

Your coaches?

 

Might be time to put the brakes on and re-evaluate a few of their teachings.

Posted by: Mikey NTH - Pirate Scum of Umbar at June 07, 2013 08:56 AM (hLRSq)

285 I saw this the other day (and I laughed like hell, gotta admit it). I guarantee you: these two were typical Obama voters.  Can we get the rest of the Obama voters to follow suit?

Posted by: the Butcher at June 07, 2013 08:58 AM (8g9qq)

286 #288, thanks.

Posted by: Jaimo at June 07, 2013 08:59 AM (9U1OG)

287 Encore!  ENCORE!

Posted by: Alvin, Simon and Theodore at June 07, 2013 09:01 AM (zULK3)

288 You have two systems which trigger a breath response. One is sensitive to oxygen level and the other to carbon dioxide. So the CO2 sensors would not be damped, but the O2 sensors would still be triggered. But hey, what do I know? Errr, not quite. The one that matters is the CO2 sensor. If you scrub or dilute the CO2 out, there is no feeling of suffocation. You may breathe faster due to lack of oxygen but there's no sense of urgency about it. It's why high-altitude hypoxia is so dangerous. You feel fine right up until you keel over.

Posted by: Additional Blond Agent at June 07, 2013 09:04 AM (PMGbu)

289

"17 they weren't really my life coaches. Do you think I have life-coaches? I thought it would be obvious this is the sort of tomfoolery a conservative doesn't go in for."

 

Who knows what sort of tomfoolery if not nincompoopery an Ewok indulges in?

Posted by: Mikey NTH - Pirate Scum of Umbar at June 07, 2013 09:05 AM (hLRSq)

290 I think my best life coach was my dads belt.

Posted by: Oldsailors Poet Palin/Bolton 2016 at June 07, 2013 09:06 AM (XIxXP)

291 285 You know who needs a life-coach?

Muff Muncher Michael Douglas.
*
*
I'd say he's done all right.  Born to rich and famous father, co-star of hour-long TV series when he was, what, 28; Oscar-winning actor and producer; movie star in his own right; and he's been married to Catherine "La Goddess" Zeta-Jones for quite a while. 

He should coach us.

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius at June 07, 2013 09:08 AM (BDU/a)

292 Of course, now they can be after-life coaches too.

Posted by: Mikey NTH - Pirate Scum of Umbar at June 07, 2013 09:09 AM (hLRSq)

293 c'mon, people, don't joke about suicide

Posted by: chemjeff at June 07, 2013 09:10 AM (klj76)

294

Life coaches committing suicide is like a clown funeral, chemjeff.

Posted by: Mikey NTH - Pirate Scum of Umbar at June 07, 2013 09:14 AM (hLRSq)

295 I remember the first thing my life couch told me. It changed my life forever: "Wipe that booger hanging halfway out out of your nose and quit digging at your butthole and sniffing your fingers."

Posted by: Bill Gates at June 07, 2013 09:17 AM (dSE0q)

296

Why can I not stop laughing?

 

Posted by: Bob Mulroy at June 07, 2013 09:36 AM (Gg55T)

297 18 The rudder is the wang of the boat. Think about it. Posted by: wooga at June 07, 2013 11:53 AM (KZ/Tf)

Posted by: Anthony Wiener at June 07, 2013 09:48 AM (6S4Ai)

298 If only we could get all of Washington DC to do the same (politicians, lobbyists, and bureaucrats).

Posted by: James Madison at June 07, 2013 09:49 AM (6S4Ai)

299 The thing that struck me about that story was how they killed themselves. Really? You can commit suicide by tying a bag of helium over your head? That does not spring to mind as an obvious choice. I presume it's via suffocation but still. The more you know! Ok, so instead of an "arrrgh" or some sort of sound of expiration, we get the sound of Donald Duck exhaling his last. What, were they trying to take others with them, get them to die laughing?

Posted by: Bill H at June 07, 2013 09:50 AM (3sZO1)

300 ASo sad. He follows in the footsteps of John Bonham, Keith Moon and the many drummers for Spinal Tap.

Posted by: Minuteman at June 07, 2013 09:58 AM (dSE0q)

301

Hey, they were our coaches!

Posted by: Barack and Michelle at June 07, 2013 12:19 PM (+mvGT)

302 I get why she killed herself. She was a morose cow, but his reasoning was??? Oh, it was her turn to call the plays.

Posted by: KellyFromMesquite at June 07, 2013 02:23 PM (ELMcf)

303 Awwww, that's sweet that they died together like that. They must really have loved each other. They lived with courage and affection right up to the end, and even had a comfortable death with a loved one. Most people never manage the first much less the second. I'm sorry that she was in such pain, but they are at peace now. Hats off to them.

Posted by: Former Conservative at June 07, 2013 06:12 PM (SgvkU)

304 >>> The thing that struck me about that story was how they killed themselves. Really? You can commit suicide by tying a bag of helium over your head? That does not spring to mind as an obvious choice. I presume it's via suffocation but still. The more you know! It's actually a really good method of suicide as it is reliable, non-violent (and therefore less traumatising to loved ones, studies show), and painless. A small minority of people react negatively to helium gas, so nitrogen is even better if you can get it --- we're breathing mainly nitrogen right now. Other good methods are barbiturates, unfortunately outlawed, but tricyclic antidepressants work well too. However, while central nervous system depressants, they can't be relied upon by themselves to reliably lead to a coma, so it's necessary to combine them with sufficient amounts of benzodiazapenes, including at least one long-acting benzodiazapene, to ensure a humane death. Either of those drug methods must be proceeded with a course of anti-emetic drugs to prevent vomiting (similar to drugs used in chemotherapy). A common choice is metoclopromide, which is used at the amazing Dignitas clinic in Switzerland.

Posted by: Former Conservative at June 07, 2013 06:17 PM (SgvkU)

305 >>> The helium plugs into your brain receptors where the oxygen molecule should go. No, that's CO, carbon monoxide (and it binds with red blood cells, not receptors in the brain), the lethal chemical in automobile exhaust. This is not recommended as an ideal method for suicide for several reasons, including that it's hard to get pure CO so you're likely to have to breath in choking, noxious fumes. Even worse, for the reasons you alluded to, it is deadly to others in the building or who may enter the space. Helium or Nitrogen, on the other hand, just spread out into the air. Most of the air we're breathing is Nitrogen anyway, so they're non-toxic when mixed with air containing adequate Oxygen. That's why they needed to use the plastic bag to concentrate the Helium around their mouth and nose. While an inert gas can make you pass out quite quickly, it doesn't bind with your red blood cells as CO does, so it is necessary to have a sufficient supply of inert gas lasting several minutes after one passes out to ensure death, peacefully.

Posted by: Former Conservative at June 07, 2013 06:26 PM (SgvkU)

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