Ace of Spades HQ

June 09, 2013

Obama gives Chinese president Xi fabulous gift on departure
— Purple Avenger

Every world dignitary needs lawn furniture, right? Its right up there with gifting an original Frederic Remington...or an iPod full of Obama speeches.

Knoller posted the pic of this grand world class implement of outdoor reclination. Its for the ages. The kind of stuff one finds in the tombs of pharaohs and god kings or maybe your own backyard...

...probably mostly in your own back yard. Xi probably would have had more use for a bag of Kingsford.

UPDATE: The bench looks to be a "customized" version of http://www.foreverredwood.com's "Luna" model. By "customized" I mean cheaper with less woodworking effort and detail the back's top rail and spindle/slats. The stock Luna model has the attractive fully arched top rail which of course requires each spindle/slat to be a different size. The cheapened Obama world leader international gift grade model™ has the flat bottomed top rail allowing for identical size spindles/slats.

Posted by: Purple Avenger at 09:30 AM | Comments (311)
Post contains 168 words, total size 1 kb.

1 Oh good. It's been minutes and minutes since my eye was twitching like that.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD, you taunty bitch. at June 09, 2013 09:32 AM (Gk3SS)

2 Empty chair

Posted by: NCwoof at June 09, 2013 09:33 AM (aUQgu)

3 I like the fish adirondack chairs better.

Posted by: olddog in mo at June 09, 2013 09:33 AM (AzqLt)

It was probably made in china as well.

He could have saved on the shipping by leaving it there.

(This has to be a joke right? I've bought better stuff at Bed Bath and Beyond.)

Posted by: tsrblke at June 09, 2013 09:33 AM (GaqMa)

5 When you sit in it, you here Moochie farting.

Posted by: Billy Bob, pseudo intellectal at June 09, 2013 09:34 AM (wR+pz)

6 Gotta say, excellent move by the President. I applaud the horrific and indelibly mortal insult paid to the fucking Communist Chinese thugs with this backyard patio furniture garbage. Really sells the whole, "You make shitty 1 dollar crap for us, good job" vibe.

Posted by: Inspector Asshole at June 09, 2013 09:34 AM (VcmLo)

7 "Obama Gives Chinese Tyrant A Woody"

Posted by: boulder t'hobo at June 09, 2013 09:34 AM (QTHTd)

8 7 "Obama Gives Chinese Tyrant A Woody" Posted by: boulder t'hobo at June 09, 2013 01:34 PM (QTHTd) Turn off your sets. Early Thread Winner.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at June 09, 2013 09:36 AM (+98Gb)

9 Why does Obama keep playing golf with Tipcomb a know whore monger? He procuring for Barry? Think if Barry was a Republican there would be some mention of this? http://tinyurl.com/cwtt5xl

Posted by: Billy Bob, pseudo intellectal at June 09, 2013 09:36 AM (wR+pz)

10 Not Tipcomb, TITcomb. Even better. Name says it all.

Posted by: Billy Bob, pseudo intellectal at June 09, 2013 09:38 AM (wR+pz)

11 I love the visible bolts. Frank Lloyd Wright would be so proud. Meh....fuck China. Walmart for Walmart.

Posted by: eleven at June 09, 2013 09:40 AM (fsLdt)

12 That's our Barky. When he's not being alarming, annoying or arrogant, he's being bizarre...

Posted by: M. Murcek at June 09, 2013 09:40 AM (GJUgF)

13 "And...I'll take the personalized backyard wooden bench for $199.00, Pat."

Posted by: Wheel. Of. Fortune. at June 09, 2013 09:40 AM (ZR4Xh)

14 Well, SCOAMF is a cheap imitation of a president and China is the symbol of cheap imitations, so there is a sense of synchronicity here.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at June 09, 2013 09:40 AM (+98Gb)

15 Barack Obama: the QVC president.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at June 09, 2013 09:41 AM (+98Gb)

16 11 I love the visible bolts.

Old world craftsmanshit

Posted by: Purp[/i][/b][/u][/s] at June 09, 2013 09:41 AM (Dc/7h)

17 Who wants to bet the Chinese lettering is incorrect?

Posted by: Billy Bob, pseudo intellectal at June 09, 2013 09:41 AM (wR+pz)

18 >>> "And...I'll take the personalized backyard wooden bench for $199.00, Pat." Hahahahahahaha!!!!!

Posted by: fluffy at June 09, 2013 09:42 AM (z9HTb)

19 Is it made from particle board (which is essentially cat food made in China)?

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at June 09, 2013 09:42 AM (+98Gb)

20 Probably made out of illegal redwood timber?

Posted by: Billy Bob, pseudo intellectal at June 09, 2013 09:42 AM (wR+pz)

21 Well, look - it's the thought that counts. (Question is: What was the thought?)

Posted by: Handcuffed to the Bumper of a State Trooper's Ford at June 09, 2013 09:43 AM (eMtQ2)

22 Q: But is it real redwood or stained pine?

I'll take stained pine for $20 Jack.

Posted by: Vic at June 09, 2013 09:43 AM (lZvxr)

23 20 Probably made out of illegal redwood timber? Posted by: Billy Bob, pseudo intellectal at June 09, 2013 01:42 PM (wR+pz) Confiscated wood from Gibson Guitars.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at June 09, 2013 09:43 AM (+98Gb)

24 Hahahahaha. Strikes again. Five bucks says Zero gave the Wookie a vacuum cleaner for their first Christmas together,

Posted by: ALH at June 09, 2013 09:43 AM (xEAGD)

25 24 Hahahahaha. Strikes again. Five bucks says Zero gave the Wookie a vacuum cleaner for their first Christmas together, Posted by: ALH at June 09, 2013 01:43 PM (xEAGD) She does remind me of a poor man's Marla Gibbs (the maid from "The Jeffersons").

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at June 09, 2013 09:44 AM (+98Gb)

26 We can't think of anything funny about President Obama.

Posted by: SNL writers at June 09, 2013 09:44 AM (z9HTb)

27 The admin hands shit like this out as gifts to foreign dignitaries, but deigns to think of those of us in flyover country as lowbrow hicks.

Posted by: Country Singer at June 09, 2013 09:44 AM (U22Yw)

28 Who wants to bet the Chinese lettering is incorrect? I'd set the odds at 2:1

Posted by: eleven at June 09, 2013 09:45 AM (fsLdt)

29 Should've just given him a Wal-Mart gift card.

This is one time when I will applaud SCOAMF's impeccable lack of class and dignity. I know you probably didn't mean to insult you commie comrades, Barry...but gold star for you anyway.

Posted by: Stu-22 at June 09, 2013 09:45 AM (k4bdL)

30 Redwood is illegal? You cans till get real redwood stuff but it is expensive as hell.

Posted by: Vic at June 09, 2013 09:45 AM (lZvxr)

31 Gaylord, "And Susan please show dear Xi what he won today! That's right, his very own lawn furniture!"

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at June 09, 2013 09:46 AM (TCGmg)

32 @28 Probably higher than that. Which dialect did they use? Who the fuck knows if they know.

Posted by: Billy Bob, pseudo intellectal at June 09, 2013 09:46 AM (wR+pz)

33 30 Redwood is illegal? You cans till get real redwood stuff but it is expensive as hell. Posted by: Vic at June 09, 2013 01:45 PM (lZvxr) Could be Doug Fir, or a printed formica overlay of same.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at June 09, 2013 09:46 AM (+98Gb)

34 *Bangs head against the wall*

Posted by: Vendette (formerly I lurk, therefore I am) at June 09, 2013 09:47 AM (08XhI)

35 That's the kind of patio furniture only those with slightly below the median household income could afford! I heard Obama also gave him a gift certificate to Applebee's!

Posted by: Flatbush Joe at June 09, 2013 09:47 AM (ZPrif)

36 The bench is worse than getting Zonked by Monty Hall.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at June 09, 2013 09:47 AM (+98Gb)

37 Can we throw in Joe Biden as a lawn gnome?

Posted by: fluffy at June 09, 2013 09:47 AM (z9HTb)

38 Cl ass act

Posted by: Joethefatman™ (@joethefatman1) at June 09, 2013 09:47 AM (MnSla)

39 You cans till get real redwood stuff but it is expensive as hell. Not that expensive. Just $15 per DVD. 3 for $37.

Posted by: Red Wood, Porn star at June 09, 2013 09:47 AM (ZR4Xh)

40 Did President Empty Bench at least get the translation for "Reset" right this time? Hint: they don't speak 'Chinese'.

Posted by: t-bird at June 09, 2013 09:48 AM (FcR7P)

41 Fluffy. Toss in Helen Thomas. Matched set then.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at June 09, 2013 09:48 AM (TCGmg)

42 President Bench Warmer, the way he shoots. Totally clueless and classless.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at June 09, 2013 09:49 AM (+98Gb)

43 That bench is built entirely from shredded Verizon phone records from the NSA.

Posted by: Flatbush Joe at June 09, 2013 09:49 AM (ZPrif)

44 While redwood is expensive and rare, someone somewhere (either at State or in the admin) thought this was a good idea.

Posted by: Vendette (formerly I lurk, therefore I am) at June 09, 2013 09:50 AM (08XhI)

45 Yes, it is California Redwood. You know, the type of lumber that if we were to try to make our own bench out of it, the enviro-nazis would be throwing a shit fit

Posted by: chemjeff at June 09, 2013 09:50 AM (9GG/0)

46 Just over $900 at Amazon

http://tinyurl.com/kuyctdn

Posted by: Vic at June 09, 2013 09:50 AM (lZvxr)

47 >>> Toss in Helen Thomas War monger

Posted by: fluffy at June 09, 2013 09:50 AM (z9HTb)

48 36 That's the kind of patio furniture only those with slightly below the median household income could afford!

I heard Obama also gave him a gift certificate to Applebee's!

Posted by: Flatbush Joe at June 09, 2013 01:47 PM (ZPrif)

For many people , it's their house.

Posted by: Temper Tantrum at June 09, 2013 09:51 AM (AWmfW)

49 Obama had a patio bench built out of real rednecks!

Posted by: Flatbush Joe at June 09, 2013 09:51 AM (ZPrif)

50 I was hoping for one of those bug zappers. Sad face.

Posted by: Xi Jinping at June 09, 2013 09:51 AM (29vnO)

51 This article says it is real redwood from CA That's awesome. It's also the cheapest furniture made. The tree rings are about half an inch wide in that stuff. Good luck trying to out-douchebag our beloved Obama!

Posted by: t-bird at June 09, 2013 09:52 AM (FcR7P)

52 Obama,'well sure the bench material only cost 30 bucks but the union member cost 160 bucks for 4 hours of his time. and 50,000 to the DOE artist.

so a nice gift.'

Posted by: willow at June 09, 2013 09:52 AM (nqBYe)

53 Curious about something, do we know what Booooosh gave visiting dignitaries?

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at June 09, 2013 09:52 AM (GEICT)

54 Today's Fresh Hell brought to you by the letter "o" and the color red.

Posted by: ALH at June 09, 2013 09:52 AM (xEAGD)

55 52 I was hoping for one of those bug zappers. Sad face. Posted by: Xi Jinping at June 09, 2013 01:51 PM (29vnO) (**Electrified fence around Gulag 13**)

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at June 09, 2013 09:52 AM (+98Gb)

Obama has no respect for this country and thus has no clue on what a good gift would be to a foreign leader.

Chair was probably made in Mexico.

Posted by: buzzion at June 09, 2013 09:52 AM (LI48c)

57 Look on the bright side. At least it wasn't an iPod[Made in PRC] filled with Gaylord's speeches[Made by Ayers].

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at June 09, 2013 09:53 AM (TCGmg)

58 56 Curious about something, do we know what Booooosh gave visiting dignitaries? Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at June 09, 2013 01:52 PM (GEICT) Probably crap like Baccarat or Waterford.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at June 09, 2013 09:53 AM (+98Gb)

59 So first we insult the First Lady of China by having our First...ahem refuse to meet with her (or did that change?) Then we express our profound respect and everlasting friendship by sending the President home with a bench. Is there no one giving this schmuck advice on appropriate behavior? I truly feel like he's either being allowed to just be abysmally stupid or he's being given intentionally bad advice.

Posted by: Ragamuffin at June 09, 2013 09:53 AM (fzFF6)

60 I noticed the Premier didn't accept the Verizon contract Obama offered to him for some strange reason.

Posted by: andycanuck at June 09, 2013 09:53 AM (9+vDU)

61 Redwood is legal. Its the old growth stuff in national parks like King's Canyon there's restrictions on. The shit grows like weeds in parts of CA.

Sequoia is a whole different matter. The Sequoia tree's reproductive cycle requires a major forest fire or the things won't drop seeds and reproduce. The bark is so thick it survives the forest fires. The fire clears the way for the new baby Sequoias to take hold.

Posted by: Purp[/i][/b][/u][/s] at June 09, 2013 09:53 AM (Dc/7h)

For the first and only time, I also applaud the SCOMF.

I had the misfortune of working for a Chinese outfit for a number of years. I've never met a culture more full of insufferable, slovenly, unhygienic, boorish, mendacious, conniving, underhanded, thieving, cheap, stupid, nepotistic jerk-offs. The experience has engendered in me an almost pathological need to avoid Chinese products.

Also, let it be said that I'm feeling particularly generous today.

Posted by: La Mauvaise New Yorkaise at June 09, 2013 09:54 AM (JQBUi)

63 Is it American red cedar, made by an American craftsman just for him, then it's a good gift. It costs a fortune.

But, if it's what is available to most of us at a price within reason, then it's red stained teak stamped "made in china" and it's sort of a tacky gift. Unless you want to show someone just how much their country has impacted daily American life.

Posted by: caustic at June 09, 2013 09:54 AM (/b8+5)

64 What a clueless, classless piece of work. I'm sure the 52% are brimming over with pride. The rest of us? Not so much.

Posted by: LGoPs at June 09, 2013 09:55 AM (Zid/C)

65 Redwood is legal.

For now.

Posted by: Enviro-Nazis at June 09, 2013 09:55 AM (9GG/0)

66 64 I truly feel like he's either being allowed to just be abysmally stupid or he's being given intentionally bad advice. Posted by: Ragamuffin at June 09, 2013 01:53 PM (fzFF6) Well, if someone were giving him "bad" advice, he'd be governing like a free-market constitutionalist, right?

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at June 09, 2013 09:55 AM (+98Gb)

67 $1600 for the 96" model

http://tinyurl.com/kfpb78a

Posted by: Vic at June 09, 2013 09:56 AM (lZvxr)

68 Ivory from redneck tusks. Normally it's illegal to hunt rednecks for their teeth, but FDR passed a presidential exemption in 1933 along with authorization of the TVA. Obama is the first President to use that exemption in modern times however. FDR mainly passed the exemption to grandfather in Teddy Roosevelt's extensive collection of human skulls that had recently been uncovered on the family estate.

Posted by: Flatbush Joe at June 09, 2013 09:56 AM (ZPrif)

69 67 For the first and only time, I also applaud the SCOMF. I had the misfortune of working for a Chinese outfit for a number of years. I've never met a culture more full ofinsufferable,slovenly, unhygienic, boorish, mendacious,conniving,underhanded,thieving, cheap,stupid, nepotisticjerk-offs. The experience has engendered in me an almost pathological need to avoid Chinese products. Also, letit be said thatI'm feeling particularlygenerous today. Posted by: La Mauvaise New Yorkaise at June 09, 2013 01:54 PM (JQBUi) What about Chinese food, say from Wo Hop?

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at June 09, 2013 09:56 AM (+98Gb)

70 Fluffy if I was a real war monger I would suggest Madeline Albright and Helen Thomas be added to the package deal.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at June 09, 2013 09:57 AM (TCGmg)

71 Maybe he thought Ikea was Chinese?

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at June 09, 2013 09:57 AM (+98Gb)

72 WTF? The inscription says- in the Taiwanese dialect, "I met with The Leader Of The Free World and all I got was this lousy bench. :-) LOL!"?!

Posted by: President Xi Jinping at June 09, 2013 09:58 AM (FcR7P)

73 I'm no master woodworker, but even I know how to recess a bolt hole and hide the bolt head with a suitably stained plug.

Posted by: Purp[/i][/b][/u][/s] at June 09, 2013 09:58 AM (Dc/7h)

74 76 Fluffy if I was a real war monger I would suggest Madeline Albright and Helen Thomas be added to the package deal. Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at June 09, 2013 01:57 PM (TCGmg) Hell, throw in Rosie O'Donnell, Joy Behar and Rachel Maddow.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at June 09, 2013 09:58 AM (+98Gb)

75 I thought Teddy and FDR were cousins.

Posted by: ALH at June 09, 2013 09:58 AM (xEAGD)

76 Obama gave the Chinese 'president' a bench; he gave the American people proctology exam (via our information). Thanks, Barry!

Posted by: Mo the girl who loathes Female Liberal Hacks at June 09, 2013 09:58 AM (YqXne)

77 We love KFC. Gift card would have been more useful.

Posted by: President XI at June 09, 2013 09:58 AM (wR+pz)

78 Nothing says "thanks for floating us that massive loan" like a personalized bench from Frontgate, H8rz!

Posted by: Barack Obama at June 09, 2013 09:58 AM (J7sV0)

79 82 I thought Teddy and FDR were cousins. Yep

Posted by: President XI at June 09, 2013 09:59 AM (wR+pz)

80 Xi should have given Obama a wok.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at June 09, 2013 09:59 AM (Z2Bkq)

81 It could've been worse I guess. He could've just given them some Panda Express and a bagful of fortune cookies.

This is a step up, IMHO, in the education and erudition of The Won.

Posted by: LGoPs at June 09, 2013 09:59 AM (Zid/C)

82 Crass. Total Crass.

Posted by: President Xi at June 09, 2013 09:59 AM (MMC8r)

83 Bench? Wingnuts, we gave him a chair...

Posted by: Michelle at June 09, 2013 10:00 AM (FcR7P)

84 JJ Sefton, lol. That would be a MOAB of a MOAB.

I ate at Wo Hop in NYC once. Greatest dingy dive ever. And did not get food poisoning. So victory!

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at June 09, 2013 10:00 AM (TCGmg)

85 Xi will give him an unstained bench made from bamboo so he can get bamboo splinters in his ass.

Posted by: Vic at June 09, 2013 10:00 AM (lZvxr)

86 Seriously, that looks like something sold in a kit at Lowe's.

Posted by: zsasz at June 09, 2013 10:00 AM (MMC8r)

87 First Clinton gives away our ballistic missile technology, and now this bastard gives away our top secret park bench technology. Which is about all we have left that they haven't stolen.

Posted by: somebody else, not me at June 09, 2013 10:00 AM (29vnO)

88 The One = The Won Ton

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at June 09, 2013 10:00 AM (+98Gb)

89 What about Chinese food, say from Wo Hop?

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at June 09, 2013 01:56 PM (+98Gb)

I've had Chinese food once in the last year. My boyfriend ordered it.

Vietnamese, Thai, and Japanese make wonderful substitutes. Probably healthier too.

Posted by: La Mauvaise New Yorkaise at June 09, 2013 10:01 AM (JQBUi)

90 I literally laughed out loud at the pic of the bench.

And to be honest, I'm not embarrassed, it's no more than Xi deserves.

Posted by: KG at June 09, 2013 10:01 AM (IPz9m)

91 Norm Abrams mistakes are better looking than that crap.

What an asshole.

Posted by: Kreplach at June 09, 2013 10:01 AM (zOP5o)

92 At least the fucker didn't make any 'No tickee, no washee' jokes. So there's at least that.

Posted by: LGoPs at June 09, 2013 10:01 AM (Zid/C)

93 Swedish furniture comes in a box with the parts and a simple tool to assemble them. Chinese furniture comes in a box with a bamboo tree and a 12 year old.

Posted by: Flatbush Joe at June 09, 2013 10:01 AM (ZPrif)

94 We ruv you plesident and his spy ploglams in China. He give us wood.

Posted by: President Xi at June 09, 2013 10:02 AM (li+aS)

82 Yes, as were Eleanor and FDR. All in the family.

I deleted the 's' on exam---post 83. I need a nap.

Posted by: Mo the girl who loathes Female Liberal Hacks at June 09, 2013 10:02 AM (YqXne)

96 91 JJ Sefton, lol. That would be a MOAB of a MOAB. I ate at Wo Hop in NYC once. Greatest dingy dive ever. And did not get food poisoning. So victory! Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at June 09, 2013 02:00 PM (TCGmg) Yes, the ambience is that of an upholstered outhouse, but the food is (as we Yids crow) "to die for." I assume you went to the downstairs room, which is eminently more betterer.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at June 09, 2013 10:02 AM (+98Gb)

97 There is concern XI has played a joke. I recommend somebody check Obama's coke.

Posted by: Flatbush Joe at June 09, 2013 10:02 AM (ZPrif)

98 So, will this bench work in China? Or is like the dvd's we sent the British Prime Minister?

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at June 09, 2013 10:02 AM (GEICT)

Pooper Scooper

Everyone needs a pooper scooper.

Posted by: garrett at June 09, 2013 10:04 AM (aen77)

100 I blame The Sequester.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at June 09, 2013 10:04 AM (b0PfQ)

101 97 Posted by: La Mauvaise New Yorkaise at June 09, 2013 02:01 PM (JQBUi) Only thing better than Chinese is having it next morning for breakfast. "Cold Chinks" was a tradition at my place. BTW, where in NY are you?

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at June 09, 2013 10:04 AM (+98Gb)

102 The seat looks a little bowed. Could this bench be a used one from mooshell's garden?

Posted by: Bufalobob at June 09, 2013 10:04 AM (WTrU5)

103 It could have been worse. Obama could have given the guy a crate of Mandarin Oranges, figuring he was being all culturally sensitive and stuff.

Posted by: LGoPs at June 09, 2013 10:05 AM (Zid/C)

104

Or Xi could have given Obama a lawn jockey.

I'd pay good money to have seen that.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at June 09, 2013 10:05 AM (Z2Bkq)

105

>>>Obama could have given the guy a crate of Mandarin Oranges, figuring he was being all culturally sensitive and stuff.

Do you know what an orange goes for in Japan?

Posted by: George Costanza at June 09, 2013 10:06 AM (aen77)

106 Hell, throw in Rosie O'Donnell, Joy Behar and Rachel Maddow.
OMG! China's gonna tip over!!!

Posted by: rep. hank johnson at June 09, 2013 10:06 AM (9+vDU)

107 JJ Sefton it was years ago. All I remember was fried rice, friends, having fun, and this dingy white room that I swear my memory insists had white tiles on the walls.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at June 09, 2013 10:06 AM (TCGmg)

108

What about Chinese food, say from Wo Hop?

As opposed to Ho Wop, which would be Snooki.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at June 09, 2013 10:07 AM (Z2Bkq)

109 >>>Or Xi could have given Obama a lawn jockey.

I'd pay good money to have seen that.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at June 09, 2013 02:05 PM (Z2Bkq)

***

Heh. I laughed. Out loud.

Posted by: LGoPs at June 09, 2013 10:07 AM (Zid/C)

110 The inscription probably says, "The Rape of Nanking wasn't rape-rape."

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at June 09, 2013 10:07 AM (+98Gb)

111 This site shows some of the gifts that foreign leaders have given presidents. http://www.archives.gov/exhibits/tokens_and_treasures/gifts_of_state.html

Posted by: nerdygirl at June 09, 2013 10:08 AM (qAtlQ)

112 This post is biased and unfair to the President. It mention neither the better quality badminton set nor the lawn flamingos.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at June 09, 2013 10:08 AM (b0PfQ)

113 At least this one doesn't have cigarette burns like his other one.

Posted by: Joe Bidenmytime at June 09, 2013 10:08 AM (2J/Na)

114 A lawn jockey with Han features and wearing a PLA uniform with AK-47 shouldered.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at June 09, 2013 10:08 AM (TCGmg)

115 What makes this even classier is that it looks like the ceremony was done on a lawn of FieldTurf. You know, the artificial grass with the little black rubber bits. Was Obama wearing a wife-beater and guzzling his morning can of PBR when he presented this gift?

Posted by: t-bird at June 09, 2013 10:08 AM (FcR7P)

116 116 What about Chinese food, say from Wo Hop? As opposed to Ho Wop, which would be Snooki. Posted by: Jay Guevara at June 09, 2013 02:07 PM (Z2Bkq) Nice spoonerism! Now, I break'a you kneecaps! Fangoul!

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at June 09, 2013 10:08 AM (+98Gb)

117 Rand Paul is starting a class action lawsuit over the NSA stuff, as is being reported on Weazel Zippers.

Posted by: ALH at June 09, 2013 10:08 AM (xEAGD)

118 >>>Do you know what an orange goes for in Japan?

***

Not being educated in the dating habits of fruit, I would have to say that I haven't the slightest idea.

Posted by: LGoPs at June 09, 2013 10:09 AM (Zid/C)

119 Really? Furniture? I bet Bambi and Vajajay Jarrett did the nasty on it. The only reason they gave it away was to get rid of the evidence.

Posted by: Turdblossum at June 09, 2013 10:09 AM (sLH8K)

120 The Chinese characters at the bottom spell "RESET."

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at June 09, 2013 10:09 AM (b0PfQ)

121 Now if he wanted to be real classy he could have given him a couple of porch rockers and a bottle of cheap RnR. Of course the last porch rockers I got from WalMart were made in China and still cost $70 each.

Posted by: Vic at June 09, 2013 10:10 AM (lZvxr)

122 115 JJ Sefton it was years ago. All I remember was fried rice, friends, having fun, and this dingy white room that I swear my memory insists had white tiles on the walls. Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at June 09, 2013 02:06 PM (TCGmg) That was it! I suddenly have a craving for shrimp and black bean sauce and wor-shu-op. A friend of mine would go there so often that he knew all the waiters and they would serve us food that was not on the menu... and it was very tasty.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at June 09, 2013 10:10 AM (+98Gb)

123 Even the margins of the lettering are all fucked up (too close to the edge)

Posted by: NYC Parent at June 09, 2013 10:10 AM (XjvAU)

124 He really doesn't give a shit does he?

Posted by: Tuna at June 09, 2013 10:10 AM (M/TDA)

125 Obama slipped a packet of Maxine Waters bikini shots in with the instructions.

Posted by: eman at June 09, 2013 10:11 AM (cQ4xo)

126 Here. Have an Ikea chair and another trillion in Treasury bonds, President Xi.

Posted by: Barky O'Genius at June 09, 2013 10:11 AM (b0PfQ)

127 Rand Paul is starting a class action lawsuit over the NSA stuff, as is being reported on Weazel Zippers.

Posted by: ALH at June 09, 2013 02:08 PM (xEAGD)

Just what we need. The lawyers will get $600B from the taxpayers and the monitored people will get a dollar off on their next phone bill.

Posted by: Vic at June 09, 2013 10:11 AM (lZvxr)

128 I should have picked Door #2...

Posted by: President Xi Jinping at June 09, 2013 10:12 AM (FcR7P)

129 SCOAMF, Mu-Shu wifey, Jarrett and all are just utterly classless.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at June 09, 2013 10:12 AM (+98Gb)

130 12 "That's Our Barky" Sounds like the title of an old radio serial.

Posted by: Tuna at June 09, 2013 10:12 AM (M/TDA)

131 125 I think he encouraged Fox News viewers to join in.

Posted by: Mo the girl who loathes Female Liberal Hacks at June 09, 2013 10:12 AM (YqXne)

132

It looks like the bench seats two. Would it then qualify as a love seat? Wink. Wink. Nudge. Does Obama think oriental men are hot, or just their politics?

Posted by: Yes, NSA, I said it at June 09, 2013 10:12 AM (eFhP8)

133 Regarding the woman who ran up on the stage and threw an egg at Simon Cowell, for once I would like to see someone punch them a couple of times in the head. Not kill them, mind you, but leave a dent. Then maybe people would not think it was glamorous to act like an asshole on television.

Posted by: waldo at June 09, 2013 10:13 AM (dHIHO)

134 133 Obama slipped a packet of Maxine Waters bikini shots in with the instructions. Posted by: eman at June 09, 2013 02:11 PM (cQ4xo) That is NOT helpful. And she looks like one of the Clumps after radical lap-band surgery.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at June 09, 2013 10:13 AM (+98Gb)

135 >>>He really doesn't give a shit does he?

***

No he does not. The only thing he cares about is gloating in the knowledge that he's pulled off one of the greatest scams in all of human history. He's gotten one over not only on The Man, but on Mankind.

Posted by: LGoPs at June 09, 2013 10:13 AM (Zid/C)

136 No wonder Obama likes Xi so much: Xi's ass is the size of Michelle's.

Posted by: andycanuck at June 09, 2013 10:13 AM (9+vDU)

137 138 12 "That's Our Barky" Sounds like the title of an old radio serial. Posted by: Tuna at June 09, 2013 02:12 PM (M/TDA) Amos 'n Andy are pissed. Now I denounce myself.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at June 09, 2013 10:13 AM (+98Gb)

138 Moron meet up at Wo Hops!

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at June 09, 2013 10:13 AM (TCGmg)

139 That bench is actually rather historical. Millard Fillmore died on it, I believe.

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at June 09, 2013 10:15 AM (V1ZIU)

140

"Obama slipped a packet of Maxine Waters bikini shots in with the instructions."

Makes sense. Well, she was voted as one of Washington's Most Beautiful People in 2010. Somewhere, someone is admiring her ugliness.

Posted by: Mo the girl who loathes Female Liberal Hacks at June 09, 2013 10:15 AM (YqXne)

141 146 Moron meet up at Wo Hops! Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at June 09, 2013 02:13 PM (TCGmg) I'm there! (literally!)

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at June 09, 2013 10:15 AM (+98Gb)

142 it's possible the bench was made in china.

Posted by: willow at June 09, 2013 10:15 AM (nqBYe)

143 Moron meet up at Wo Hops! Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at June 09, 2013 02:13 PM (TCGmg) Right now? Give me a sec to find my pants.

Posted by: eman at June 09, 2013 10:15 AM (cQ4xo)

144 I know the Left thinks the world we be a better place once America is no longer the big dog. They seem eager for China to become #1. But a large chunk of Obama voters are gonna be in for a shock. If black people think they'll get better treatment in a China-dominated world ... then they don't know many Chinese people. The only people I know who still will express open racism about black people are all east asian immigrants. America is able to train that out of their American-born children and grand-children. But the attitudes back in China, Japan, Korea, and Vietnam are comically, unashamedly racist.

Posted by: Flatbush Joe at June 09, 2013 10:16 AM (ZPrif)

145 Wo Hops? I'm too far away and I'm not drunk so...

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at June 09, 2013 10:17 AM (V1ZIU)

146 Preznit Gutsycall probably just wiped out another crucial American industry. The first thing the Chinese will do is take this thing apart and reverse-engineer it. America's most sensitive patio furniture technology secrets will be lost forever.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at June 09, 2013 10:17 AM (b0PfQ)

147 LOL I iwsh I could. But way down here in Jackson, MS where the 35% chance of rain is actually 100% with thunder added as a bonus.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at June 09, 2013 10:17 AM (TCGmg)

148
Have to wonder who picks out the birthday gifts for the kids.

I'd bet he has little or no input nor interest.

Posted by: irongrampa at June 09, 2013 10:19 AM (SAMxH)

149 141 Regarding the woman who ran up on the stage and threw an egg at Simon Cowell, for once I would like to see someone punch them a couple of times in the head. Not kill them, mind you, but leave a dent. Then maybe people would not think it was glamorous to act like an asshole on television. Posted by: waldo at June 09, 2013 02:13 PM (dHIHO) Years ago, husband and wife Nazi hunter Beate Klarsfeld confronted a German politician (forgot who) who was a former SS/Gestapo bigwig and slapped him on national TV. It ended his career. Something like that.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at June 09, 2013 10:19 AM (+98Gb)

150 Even a brass plaque would have made it a little classier. Wonder what the Chinese inscription says?

Posted by: Tuna at June 09, 2013 10:20 AM (M/TDA)

151 157 Serge and Beate Klarsfeld. Beate did the slapping.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at June 09, 2013 10:20 AM (+98Gb)

152 I wonder if Obama spoke to Xi in pidgin English?

"Oh, so solly. Woord you have plefelled lice with you dinnah?"

Posted by: LGoPs at June 09, 2013 10:21 AM (Zid/C)

153 The Leftist mind doesn't quite know what to think about east asians. White people = evil oppressors Black people = noble slave descendants (even the ones who weren't) oppressed by the White Man Hispanic people = noble people oppressed by evil Whitey Muslim people = noble people oppressed by evil white Crusaders. Asian people = ??? Oppressed by pee-pee jokes? Maybe?

Posted by: Flatbush Joe at June 09, 2013 10:21 AM (ZPrif)

154 152 But the attitudes back in China, Japan, Korea, and Vietnam are comically, unashamedly racist. Posted by: Flatbush Joe at June 09, 2013 02:16 PM (ZPrif) I got your tube of Darkie Toothpaste right here.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at June 09, 2013 10:21 AM (+98Gb)

155

But the attitudes back in China, Japan, Korea, and Vietnam are comically, unashamedly racist.

Hell, in my experience citizens of those countries look down on white people. Their perspective on blacks is off-scale.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at June 09, 2013 10:21 AM (Z2Bkq)

156 that is embarrassing...looks tacky...the bolt is showing....we couldn't get some wood worker to hand craft something nicer? plus.....the pollution in china would probably make this hunk of junk useless........

Posted by: phoenixgirl@phxazgrl..back home at June 09, 2013 10:22 AM (8JJ6O)

157 Annenburg Estates?

Is that the same Annenburg that gave Obama and Ayers millions of dollars to ruin Chicago schools?

Posted by: Burnt Toast at June 09, 2013 10:22 AM (dIUyZ)

158 And shouldn't a proper diplomatic gift be from the people of the United States' rather than from one particular bony-assed one?

Posted by: zsasz at June 09, 2013 10:22 AM (MMC8r)

159 162 Posted by: Flatbush Joe at June 09, 2013 02:21 PM (ZPrif) But everybody hates teh Jooz.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at June 09, 2013 10:22 AM (+98Gb)

160 152 Oh boy are they ever. Ironic isn't it that East Asians place blacks on a rung below dogs?.

Posted by: Tuna at June 09, 2013 10:23 AM (M/TDA)

161 And shouldn't a proper diplomatic gift be from the people of the United States' rather than from one particular bony-assed one? I'm glad he kept our name off the gift.

Posted by: t-bird at June 09, 2013 10:24 AM (FcR7P)

162 Exchange overheard between Obama and Xi:

Xi: " You owe us won hunet birrion dollah"

Obama: "No, we only owe you 80 billion dollars"

Xi: "why the diffelence?"

Obama: "Fluctuations"

Xi: "Oh. Fluck you white people too"

Posted by: LGoPs at June 09, 2013 10:25 AM (Zid/C)

163 I remember talking to some immigrant Korean girls. They were talking about dating Americans guys during college. Some had, some wanted to. But they all knew they would have to marry a Korean guy. I teased them about what they meant by "American". What about a black American guy? This look of horror crossed their faces. They literally couldn't conceive of it and the shame it would bring their families. They got angry I even jokingly suggested it.

Posted by: Flatbush Joe at June 09, 2013 10:26 AM (ZPrif)

164 Damn. At least Xi could pirate a set of DVDs.

Posted by: zsasz at June 09, 2013 10:26 AM (MMC8r)

165 "Presidential GOP primary, 2016": Moderator: And Senator Rubio, what is your main national accomplishment to date? M.R. : I engineered the amnesty plan to finally end conservative resistance on this issue. Moderator: The one called "surrender with honor"? M.R. "Words" Moderator: The one whose enforcement and benefit denial provisions are being challenged in court by various Hispanic groups, and who may possibly win? M.R. "Words." Moderator: The one which the Congressional Hispanic Caucus just said still shows the fundamental unwillingness of whites to fully welcome Hispanics? M.R. "Words" Moderator: The one that denies benefits to formerly illegal Hispanics, and which the New York Times just did a series on detailing the effects this lack of benefits has? M.R. "Words" Moderator: Any other realized accomplishments? M.R. No, I've been in the minority party. But if elected..."words". Moderator: Thank you, Senator. "Finis" Author's view: If I want something that eventually will turn out to have been mostly a bunch of words, I'll buy a dictionary.

Posted by: "Just Words" at June 09, 2013 10:28 AM (u6IuP)

166 165 The bolt is the first thing I noticed after the tacky grade school wood burned inscription. Reggie must have picked up a kit at Lowes and put it together in his spare time.

Posted by: Tuna at June 09, 2013 10:28 AM (M/TDA)

167 The most tacky motherfucker ever to stench up the whitehouse.

Posted by: Berserker at June 09, 2013 10:28 AM (FMbng)

168 Jebus, it's not even padded.

How is a world leader supposed to bang the old lady on unpadded furniture?

Zombie JFK wept.

Posted by: Fritz at June 09, 2013 10:28 AM (G9Mmf)

169 172 Posted by: Flatbush Joe at June 09, 2013 02:26 PM (ZPrif) After we left Vietnam, I remember seeing stories about half white love children of American GI's who were total outcasts. And they had it good compared to the half black ones.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at June 09, 2013 10:29 AM (+98Gb)

170

hahahahahaha......breathe......hahahahaha

Patio furniture! What a maroon! Is there anyone steering the office of Protocol at this point or is it just a bunch of frat boys with beer pongs and full size cut-outs of Hillary Clinton? Just wondering.

Posted by: ParanoidGirlInSeattle at June 09, 2013 10:29 AM (RZ8pf)

171

Posted by: Flatbush Joe at June 09, 2013 02:26 PM (ZPrif)

My knowledge is mostly of Japanese and Koreans, who made pretty clear that they think that the opening scenes of 2001 were filmed on location in Compton with locally recruited extras.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at June 09, 2013 10:29 AM (Z2Bkq)

172 That bench is a piece of crap. I have a nicer garden bench than that, and I have a very unfortunate patio.

Posted by: SarahW at June 09, 2013 10:29 AM (LYwCh)

173 Time for a bunch of 'We're Sorry, World' tilty-head photos?

Posted by: weft cut-loop [/i] [/b] at June 09, 2013 10:30 AM (SX6wc)

174 176 The most tacky motherfucker ever to stench up the whitehouse. Posted by: Berserker at June 09, 2013 02:28 PM (FMbng) Considering the likes of Billy Carter used to traipse around there, that says something.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at June 09, 2013 10:30 AM (+98Gb)

175 They didn't even countersink and plug the hardware.

Posted by: SarahW at June 09, 2013 10:30 AM (LYwCh)

176 180 Posted by: Flatbush Joe at June 09, 2013 02:26 PM (ZPrif) My knowledge is mostly of Japanese and Koreans, who made pretty clear that theythink that the opening scenes of 2001 were filmed on location in Compton with locally recruited extras. Posted by: Jay Guevara at June 09, 2013 02:29 PM (Z2Bkq) Now THAT is funny.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at June 09, 2013 10:30 AM (+98Gb)

177 Can re-gifting cause an international incident?

Posted by: zsasz at June 09, 2013 10:30 AM (MMC8r)

178 The engraving doesn't conform to the shape of the seat back.

Posted by: SarahW at June 09, 2013 10:30 AM (LYwCh)

179 Similarly I was talking once with a Chinese immigrant girl. She'd been in America for about a month at that point. Otherwise had never left China. I asked her if she knew any good jokes about Americans. I like hearing jokes like that to see what the stereotypes are. She said, oh I know a good joke. Why do Jews have such big noses? Because air is free. One of the odder interactions I'd ever had. I asked for an American joke and she tells a joke of jews being greedy big-nosed scrooges. Odd. It's unlikely she had ever met a Jew in her entire life at that point. Weird.

Posted by: Flatbush Joe at June 09, 2013 10:31 AM (ZPrif)

180 I teased them about what they meant by "American". What about a black American guy? This look of horror crossed their faces. They literally couldn't conceive of it and the shame it would bring their families. They got angry I even jokingly suggested it. Posted by: Flatbush Joe at June 09, 2013 02:26 PM (ZPrif) I remember watching on the news a number of years ago when Heinz Ward visited South Korea for the first time. His dad is African-American and is mom is South Korean. It was a big deal there.

Posted by: Vendette (formerly I lurk, therefore I am) at June 09, 2013 10:31 AM (08XhI)

181 OT: Over at Tepid Gas, Kelly Ayotte is on board with Amnesty Bill. Traitor.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at June 09, 2013 10:31 AM (+98Gb)

182 171 you owe me a new keyboard. Snorted coffee all over this one.

Posted by: ALH at June 09, 2013 10:31 AM (xEAGD)

183 186 It will if I get it from the Mr. Xi.

Posted by: SarahW at June 09, 2013 10:32 AM (LYwCh)

184 188 Posted by: Flatbush Joe at June 09, 2013 02:31 PM (ZPrif) Tragically, "The Protocols of the Elders of Zion" sells like hotcakes all over Asia.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at June 09, 2013 10:33 AM (+98Gb)

185 My understanding is that part of our basing agreements in Korea was that Korea demanded the US agree to take any "half-breeds" back to the US. Korea didn't want them. It was basically, you take them or we'll kill them.

Posted by: Flatbush Joe at June 09, 2013 10:33 AM (ZPrif)

186 Varnishing a Redwood bench, fk'n infidels. Carriage bolts? Not even slab book-matched heartwood. Made in China. I guess this shitastic bench is payback for the pianist playing the patriotic Korean war song in the White House parlor.

Posted by: 13times at June 09, 2013 10:34 AM (fGPLK)

187 I'm guessing that bench will be placed outside a very busy public restroom somewhere in the Chinese hinterlands.

Posted by: Tuna at June 09, 2013 10:34 AM (M/TDA)

188 Considering the likes of Billy Carter used to traipse around there, that says something.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at June 09, 2013 02:30 PM (+98Gb)

Yeah but billy carter was jimmah's problem. The JEF is America's problem.

Posted by: Berserker at June 09, 2013 10:34 AM (FMbng)

189 Classless

Posted by: Y-not having brunch at June 09, 2013 10:35 AM (Dsdvi)

190 What a classless, cheap gesture... fits the gift bearer well. On the other hand, gotta give the boy kudos for supporting the local Walmart. No doubt he'll claim that he was trying to energize manufacturing jobs and trade unions.

Posted by: CrotchetyOldJarhead at June 09, 2013 10:36 AM (32Scy)

191 Oh, and Korea demanded we take the Korean women who had defiled themselves, too. Hawaii has a non-trivial # of Korean women and their mixed-race kids. It was a good way to get US citizenship if you wanted. Get knocked up by an American soldier in Korea and the US was treaty-bound to move you to Hawaii. (It probably was more an informal agreement than an actual treaty, I don't really know.)

Posted by: Flatbush Joe at June 09, 2013 10:36 AM (ZPrif)

192 It's probably been on the Prez' mind since someone told him the president of Ireland was Paddy O'Furniture.

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at June 09, 2013 10:38 AM (awOwL)

193

"Hmmm -- I wonder what would Queen Elizabeth would like? I know, a mosquito coil!"

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at June 09, 2013 10:39 AM (kdS6q)

194 Xi- "Well, at least it isn't a cheap Chinese knock-off."

Posted by: Mike Hammer at June 09, 2013 10:39 AM (aDwsi)

195 Of course after handing over our secrets, technology and gawd knows what else to the Chinese, maybe that's all he had left.

Posted by: Tuna at June 09, 2013 10:39 AM (M/TDA)

196 I guess that China's president and his wife can sit on the bench and discuss why Michelle couldn't attend.

Posted by: Vendette (formerly I lurk, therefore I am) at June 09, 2013 10:40 AM (08XhI)

197 Obama slipped a packet of Maxine Waters bikini shots in with the instructions."

Makes sense. Well, she was voted as one of Washington's Most Beautiful People in 2010. Somewhere, someone is admiring her ugliness.

***

For a minute there I thought maybe they were talking about a beautiful mind thing but then I remembered we were talking about Maxine Waters.

Posted by: WalrusRex at June 09, 2013 10:40 AM (XUKZU)

198 The Office of Protocol is being run by Terrance and Phillip from South Park.

Posted by: Purp[/i][/b][/u][/s] at June 09, 2013 10:40 AM (Dc/7h)

199 Obama slipped a packet of Maxine Waters bikini shots in with the instructions."

Makes sense. Well, she was voted as one of Washington's Most Beautiful People in 2010. Somewhere, someone is admiring her ugliness.

***

Being Democrat means never having to say, "I'm ugly."

Posted by: WalrusRex at June 09, 2013 10:41 AM (XUKZU)

200 Well look on the bright side.

At least Obama didn't give him a washing machine.

Posted by: chemjeff at June 09, 2013 10:41 AM (9GG/0)

201 Maybe he was channeling Clint Eastwood at the Republican convention?

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at June 09, 2013 10:42 AM (+98Gb)

202 Could've given him a Gibson guitar.

Posted by: zsasz at June 09, 2013 10:42 AM (MMC8r)

203 It's not even a bench in the spirit of the modern art, architecture and design of the meeting venue (Sunnylands). I imagine he did re-gift it to the garden at once, and they will slap in somewhere behind the bamboo screening off the picnic tables.

Posted by: SarahW at June 09, 2013 10:42 AM (LYwCh)

204 >>>At least Obama didn't give him a washing machine.

***

Or a toy railroad set.

Posted by: LGoPs at June 09, 2013 10:42 AM (Zid/C)

205
Pic: Two bros just chillin' on da bench.

http://tinyurl.com/pqftygg

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at June 09, 2013 10:42 AM (kdS6q)

206 You know what would have been nice? A cake decorated to look like Chinese tanks crushing protesters in Tienanmen Square.

Posted by: WalrusRex at June 09, 2013 10:42 AM (XUKZU)

207 209 Well look on the bright side. At least Obama didn't give him a washing machine. Posted by: chemjeff at June 09, 2013 02:41 PM (9GG/0) ...and a one year supply of Calgon.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at June 09, 2013 10:42 AM (+98Gb)

208 215 You know what would have been nice? A cake decorated to look like Chinese tanks crushing protesters in Tienanmen Square. Posted by: WalrusRex at June 09, 2013 02:42 PM (XUKZU) Red velvet...

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at June 09, 2013 10:44 AM (+98Gb)

209 That is seriously, you guys, the most retarded gift selection I ever seen. I blame it on the sequester.

Posted by: Fritz at June 09, 2013 10:44 AM (G9Mmf)

210 At least he didn't take him to the Grand Coolee Dam.

Posted by: LGoPs at June 09, 2013 10:44 AM (Zid/C)

211 OT: Peter King(R Gun Grabber-NY) is perfectly ok with the NSA tapping.

Heard it on news radio

Posted by: John Boehner's Pickled Noggin at June 09, 2013 10:44 AM (Cs2tJ)

212 218 That's the ticket. Sequester!

Posted by: Tuna at June 09, 2013 10:45 AM (M/TDA)

213 195 Varnishing a Redwood bench, fk'n infidels. Carriage bolts? Not even slab book-matched heartwood.
Posted by: 13time
---------------------------------

You are surprised to find that Barky has no sense of aesthetic, or of Craft? Why would he? Those are Proletariat constructs, they have no meaning for a Marxist. Besides, they are both outside of his experience.

Posted by: Mike Hammer at June 09, 2013 10:46 AM (aDwsi)

214
after the summit ended, the White House let it be known that Mr. Obama hit the links with three of his pals from Hawaii -- despite the 103-degree heat.

Focused like a laser.....

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at June 09, 2013 10:46 AM (kdS6q)

215 212 It's not even a bench in the spirit of the modern art, architecture and design of the meeting venue (Sunnylands). I imagine he did re-gift it to the garden at once, and they will slap in somewhere behind the bamboo screening off the picnic tables. Posted by: SarahW at June 09, 2013 02:42 PM (LYwCh) Something from Charles and Raye Eames I could see. But this is just completely cheap, low-life "gavone."

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at June 09, 2013 10:46 AM (+98Gb)

216

Where did you expect Xi sit when he got a BJ from Baraka? Baraka just wanted to make sure Xi was comfortable. Jeez.

Hi NSA!

Posted by: Ammo Dump at June 09, 2013 10:47 AM (GgPam)

217 I translated the Chinese inscription as: "The ties of friendship between our two great countries are immeasurable. We will forever be indebted to you."

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at June 09, 2013 10:47 AM (0Eg4N)

218 That is seriously, you guys, the most retarded gift selection I ever seen.

Dood, he gave the Queen of England a fucking iPod.

Posted by: Purp[/i][/b][/u][/s] at June 09, 2013 10:48 AM (Dc/7h)

219 226 "...We will forever be indebted to you." Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at June 09, 2013 02:47 PM (0Eg4N) When Hop Sing gets back to the laundromat, only that sentence will remain.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at June 09, 2013 10:48 AM (+98Gb)

220 "The ties of friendship between our two great countries are immeasurable. We will forever be indebted to you."

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at June 09, 2013 02:47 PM (0Eg4N)

***

Heh. Good one.

Posted by: LGoPs at June 09, 2013 10:48 AM (Zid/C)

221 "Chief of protocol? I thought you said 'proctolocol'."

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at June 09, 2013 10:49 AM (+98Gb)

222 "The ties of friendship between our two great countries are immeasurable. We will forever be indebted to you." Posted by: Seamus Muldoon
----------------

Likely thread winner.

Posted by: Mike Hammer at June 09, 2013 10:49 AM (aDwsi)

223 Dood, he gave the Queen of England a fucking iPod. Posted by: Purp at June 09, 2013 02:48 PM (Dc/7h) And it was loaded with his speeches (up until then).

Posted by: Vendette (formerly I lurk, therefore I am) at June 09, 2013 10:49 AM (08XhI)

224 He got the idea from Wilhelm Pieck

Posted by: Beto at June 09, 2013 10:49 AM (MhA4j)

225 The Office of Protocol is being run by Terrance and Phillip from South Park.

That explains why Moochelle is wearing Big Gay Al's cast-offs.

Posted by: fluffy at June 09, 2013 10:50 AM (z9HTb)

226 231 "The ties of friendship between our two great countries are immeasurable. We will forever be indebted to you." Posted by: Seamus Muldoon ---------------- Likely thread winner. Posted by: Mike Hammer at June 09, 2013 02:49 PM (aDwsi) See # 7. Stiff competition.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at June 09, 2013 10:51 AM (+98Gb)

227 My Dad was a fine woodworker as are millions of men across this country. No lack of craftsmen in the U.S.

Posted by: Tuna at June 09, 2013 10:51 AM (M/TDA)

228 Ok, how 'bout something to smile about?

At the supermarket some damned tabloid mag on the rack next to the register:

"Worse than Nixon"

Made me happy for a few.

Posted by: weft cut-loop [/i] [/b] at June 09, 2013 10:52 AM (SX6wc)

229 237 Oh yeah!

Posted by: Tuna at June 09, 2013 10:53 AM (M/TDA)

230 See # 7. Stiff competition.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton
-------------------

It will be a hard choice.

Posted by: Mike Hammer at June 09, 2013 10:53 AM (aDwsi)

231 236 My Dad was a fine woodworker as are millions of men across this country. No lack of craftsmen in the U.S. Posted by: Tuna at June 09, 2013 02:51 PM (M/TDA) SCOAMF would have to acknowledge that, and we all know his feelings for the individual and America in general. No, this gift completely defines him both ideologically and as a person.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at June 09, 2013 10:53 AM (+98Gb)

232 What's ~~green~~ made out of redwood and stays out all night?

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit at June 09, 2013 10:53 AM (0HooB)

233 239 It will be a hard choice. Posted by: Mike Hammer at June 09, 2013 02:53 PM (aDwsi) Weiner take all...

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at June 09, 2013 10:53 AM (+98Gb)

234 Leave it to the Horde to turn this thread into male anatomy jokes.

Posted by: Vendette (formerly I lurk, therefore I am) at June 09, 2013 10:54 AM (08XhI)

235 I wasn't up for sarcasm, but on Facebook the Sunnylands page, and its followers, crow and glow about the bench and all its gifty spectacularness.

https://www.facebook.com/Sunnylands

Posted by: SarahW at June 09, 2013 10:54 AM (LYwCh)

236 Crass. Total Crass. Posted by: President Xi at June 09, 2013 01:59 PM (MMC8r) I saw what you did there. *snort*

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at June 09, 2013 10:55 AM (MBqvE)

237 243 everybody needs a hobby.

Posted by: ALH at June 09, 2013 10:55 AM (xEAGD)

238 240 Indeed and my father did his woodworking in his spare time.

Posted by: Tuna at June 09, 2013 10:55 AM (M/TDA)

239 242 239 It will be a hard choice.
Posted by: Mike Hammer at June 09, 2013 02:53 PM (aDwsi)

Weiner take all...

Posted by: J.J. Sefton
-----------------

Yeah..., one or the other is gonna get stiffed.

Posted by: Mike Hammer at June 09, 2013 10:56 AM (aDwsi)

240 the funny part is that it was probably cheap crap manufactured in China... with a nice healthy dose of carcinogens

Posted by: soothsayer at June 09, 2013 10:56 AM (Fely/)

241

Dood, he gave the Queen of England a fucking iPod.

Thank God somebody talked him out of giving her a vibrator.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at June 09, 2013 10:57 AM (Z2Bkq)

242 244 Posted by: SarahW at June 09, 2013 02:54 PM (LYwCh) I'm sure if you re-post some of our colorful and accurate commentary it will be greatly appreciated.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at June 09, 2013 10:57 AM (+98Gb)

243 250 Dood, he gave the Queen of England a fucking iPod. Thank God somebody talked him out of giving her a vibrator. Posted by: Jay Guevara at June 09, 2013 02:57 PM (Z2Bkq) There's an app for that...

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at June 09, 2013 10:57 AM (+98Gb)

244 I was going to mock it but that's a damn fine bench. Redwood will last for centuries.

Posted by: Comrade Arthur at June 09, 2013 10:58 AM (5YUSx)

245 There's an app for that... Posted by: J.J. Sefton at June 09, 2013 02:57 PM (+98Gb) How do you know this?

Posted by: Vendette (formerly I lurk, therefore I am) at June 09, 2013 10:58 AM (08XhI)

246 "Who wants to bet the Chinese lettering is incorrect?"

Not to worry. I have carefully vetted it.

Posted by: Jon Huntsman at June 09, 2013 10:58 AM (/NBzJ)

247 What's ~~green~~ made out of redwood and stays out all night? Kermit's finger?

Posted by: soothsayer at June 09, 2013 10:58 AM (vanqS)

248 Later, kids. Off to cook the Sunday chicken. (muttering as he walks away) A fucking garden bench. Sheesh.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at June 09, 2013 10:58 AM (+98Gb)

249 254 There's an app for that... Posted by: J.J. Sefton at June 09, 2013 02:57 PM (+98Gb) How do you know this? Posted by: Vendette (formerly I lurk, therefore I am) at June 09, 2013 02:58 PM (08XhI) Should have ended with the "/s" tag.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at June 09, 2013 10:59 AM (+98Gb)

250 Maybe it's a Kenyan thing. You know, give a cheap garden bench to your friends.

Posted by: Call me Ishmael at June 09, 2013 11:00 AM (p4U6S)

251 Here's what - judging by the Sunnylands description, and the aesthetic of visible bolts, crap engravings, and "custom designs" I think this may well be the supplier of our national re-gifted treasure:

http://www.foreverredwood.com/

Posted by: SarahW at June 09, 2013 11:00 AM (LYwCh)

252 I think somebody mentioned it upthread, but the words "Presented to His Excellency" and "By Barack" don't line up with the rest of the first two lines. And I'm dying to find out what the Chinese inscription really says.

Posted by: rickl at June 09, 2013 11:01 AM (sdi6R)

253 OT, but one of my guilty pleasures is Bait Car on TruTV. I can tell it's a rerun when gas is 2.89 regular.

Posted by: Vendette (formerly I lurk, therefore I am) at June 09, 2013 11:01 AM (08XhI)

254

What's green made out of redwood and stays ~~out~~ hard all night?

Kermit's finger?

Close, but it's no cigar!

Posted by: Bill Clinton at June 09, 2013 11:01 AM (3oLhT)

255 Really? You know....if the Chinese nuke us tommorrow, I'd almost have to say good on 'em

Posted by: Navycopjoe at June 09, 2013 11:02 AM (9cjF1)

256 You know....if the Chinese nuke us tommorrow, I'd almost have to say good on 'em

Posted by: Navycopjoe at June 09, 2013 03:02 PM (9cjF1)

You can take the Democrat out of Boystown...

Posted by: garrett at June 09, 2013 11:03 AM (3oLhT)

257 Obama gives Chinese president Xi fabulous gift on departure My heart just skipped a beat- Obama left?

Posted by: t-bird at June 09, 2013 11:03 AM (FcR7P)

258

And I'm dying to find out what the Chinese inscription really says.

It's a recipe.

For dog.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit at June 09, 2013 11:03 AM (0HooB)

259
And I'm dying to find out what the Chinese inscription really says.
Posted by: rickl

The bench also features a line written in Chinese, which reads: "California Redwood."

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at June 09, 2013 11:05 AM (kdS6q)

260 I bet Obama is pretty pissed that they both have the title "President" but Obama doesn't get to be called "His Excellency".

Posted by: AAA at June 09, 2013 11:05 AM (JFsQc)

261

And I'm dying to find out what the Chinese inscription really says.

"Help! I'm trapped in a redwood bench factory!"

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit at June 09, 2013 11:07 AM (0HooB)

262 Dood, he gave the Queen of England a fucking iPod.
Posted by: Purp at June 09, 2013 02:48 PM (Dc/7h

Rumor is she is using it as a door stop in her bathroom.

Posted by: Berserker at June 09, 2013 11:07 AM (FMbng)

263 Even more convinced it came from Foreverredwood.com after clicking through on their video.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s_P4YTOA3_c

Posted by: SarahW at June 09, 2013 11:08 AM (LYwCh)

264 265. And..... Amazingly, da Blackhawks won

Posted by: Navycopjoe at June 09, 2013 11:08 AM (AsiVD)

265 "Meet Raul Hernandez and his eco-co-conspirators"

Posted by: SarahW at June 09, 2013 11:09 AM (LYwCh)

266 And I'm dying to find out what the Chinese inscription really says. "Help! I'm trapped in a redwood bench factory!" Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit at June 09, 2013 03:07 PM (0HooB) *** Well played sir, well played indeed. Golf crap.

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at June 09, 2013 11:09 AM (g5oA/)

267 I think this may well be the supplier of our national re-gifted treasure:

Its very obviously a reduced cost version of their "Luna" models. Less, and cheaper woodworking on the back, the rest is identical.

http://tinyurl.com/ovahylo

Posted by: Purp[/i][/b][/u][/s] at June 09, 2013 11:09 AM (Dc/7h)

268

I know! Very excited for an Original 6 Final.

Though I could have used with a little less OT in that win.

Posted by: garrett at June 09, 2013 11:10 AM (3oLhT)

269 ""And I'm dying to find out what the Chinese inscription really says""

Probably something that starts with "you chinese, we make joke....

Posted by: Berserker at June 09, 2013 11:11 AM (FMbng)

270 Well I guess he could have given Xi a set of fine china instead.

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at June 09, 2013 11:12 AM (g5oA/)

271 Gaming thread is up, sponsored by the color orange...

Posted by: Vendette (formerly I lurk, therefore I am) at June 09, 2013 11:12 AM (08XhI)

272 236 My dad, now 85, dumpster dives cabinet shop debris bins for scraps of wood. He laminates the bits and ends and turns them into bowls on his little tabletop Bosch lathe. The old codger actually makes quite a bit of money and, more importantly, it keeps him off the streets.

Posted by: 13times at June 09, 2013 11:12 AM (fGPLK)

273 13times--- Good for your dad

Posted by: Mike Hammer at June 09, 2013 11:14 AM (aDwsi)

274 What's next for the Obama Administration, - a cable spool table with lime green shag carpeting and counter-bored beverage holders?

Posted by: Fritz at June 09, 2013 11:14 AM (G9Mmf)

275 The Obamas.Transforming our nation and redefining the word louche.

Posted by: Your NSA, uh, Verizon representative at June 09, 2013 11:14 AM (fVsoS)

276

That looks beautiful and I wish I could have one. Does anyone know I could buy one and how much it costs?

Posted by: LaQuisha Largess at June 09, 2013 11:15 AM (3Z1wn)

277 The Chinese lettering says "Reset". Or "Re-energize". I always get those two confused.

Posted by: Hillary Clinton at June 09, 2013 11:15 AM (dSE0q)

278 Soon to be seen on Palm Springs Craigslist.... Like new! Must sell in the next hour! http://palmsprings.craigslist.org/search/?areaID=209&subAreaID=&query=Lawn+furniture&catAbb=sss

Posted by: Dripdripdrip at June 09, 2013 11:16 AM (AHwsB)

279 283 - a cable spool table with lime green shag carpeting and counter-bored beverage holders?
Posted by: Fritz

--------

Perhaps a bean-bag chair. Good days, good days.

Posted by: Mike Hammer at June 09, 2013 11:16 AM (aDwsi)

280 283 Cable spool table. Bwahahahaha... Add orange crate stools and you have a first class dining ensemble.

Posted by: Tuna at June 09, 2013 11:16 AM (M/TDA)

281 I OCR'd and Google translated it. There's a problem with one of the characters, but I believe it says: " Card is Cali Fo Niya's Red Wood " Awesome job. Like a license plate that says "My Car".

Posted by: t-bird at June 09, 2013 11:17 AM (FcR7P)

282 Yeah, that's where it comes from. That Forreverredwood site does a lot of contract work for DC military and so forth.

Posted by: SarahW at June 09, 2013 11:18 AM (LYwCh)

283 Inscription: today's special: beef and broccoli $4.50 Damnit, Reggie! You had one job. One job!

Posted by: Dripdripdrip at June 09, 2013 11:18 AM (AHwsB)

284 285
That looks beautiful and I wish I could have one. Does anyone know I could buy one and how much it costs? Posted by: LaQuisha Largess
----------------
Contact the Chinese Embassy..., oh, be prepared to pay in Yuan..., no $ accepted.

Posted by: Mike Hammer at June 09, 2013 11:18 AM (aDwsi)

285 Even more convinced it came from Foreverredwood.com after clicking through on their video. Yeah, they're out of business in six months once the cheap Chinese copies start showing up. President Reverse Midas.

Posted by: t-bird at June 09, 2013 11:19 AM (FcR7P)

286 291 Yeah, that's where it comes from. That Forreverredwood site does a lot of contract work for the ~~DC military and so forth~~ taxpayer.
Posted by: SarahW

----

FIFY

Posted by: Mike Hammer at June 09, 2013 11:20 AM (aDwsi)

287 Where is the trailer park yard sale this piece of shit was bought at?

Posted by: Mallamutt, RINO President for Life at June 09, 2013 11:21 AM (uk2O9)

288 President Xi's protocol office called me to ask if it would be appropriate to give Barry a Fleshlight with Jenna Jameson "features" and I told them "HELL NAW!!"

Posted by: Reggie Love at June 09, 2013 11:24 AM (dSE0q)

289 "Any sufficiently advanced ineptitude is indistinguishable from malice." Barry's Zen-like mastery of social ineptitude has advanced to the point where he can't help but offend everything he comes in contact with. His suck has become transcendent. The pursuit of total self-aggrandizement has resulted in total isolation from the day to day empathy that most humans understand instinctively. This occurred to me watching liberals writhe as NSA Barry smugly doubles down on every Bush surveillance policy they ever hated. He doesn't care if that makes him a hypocrite, and he doesn't care that liberals care. He's just stumbling along on a solipsist power trip, cannibalizing his credibility at every turn, and he. doesn't. care. Giving your chief geopolitical rival a park bench just to shine them on is ballsy, bordering on offensive. Giving your chief geopolitical rival a park bench as a sincere diplomatic expression of good will is ... what? It's untethered from reality, is what it is. Barry's is a studied incompetence in the most basic currency of human interaction, relentlessly pursued in order to keep himself totally above all others.

Posted by: Artemus Khan, Supervillian-billionaire-layabout at June 09, 2013 11:25 AM (27tUc)

290 296 Trailer park yard sales are offended by that insinuation .

Posted by: Tuna at June 09, 2013 11:25 AM (M/TDA)

291 What the fuck is wrong with these people???

Posted by: Peaches at June 09, 2013 11:31 AM (8lmkt)

292 Apparently Spencer's in the Brentwood Mall was closed.

Posted by: Minuteman at June 09, 2013 11:39 AM (dSE0q)

293

Posted by: Vic at June 09, 2013 11:44 AM (lZvxr)

294

'If it is from the Foreverredwood place, it gotta be from their 'Ti Amo' line. And since the WH had Christmas tree ornamanents with Mao's picture, it would be appropriate. You NSA guys must be proud.

Posted by: CrotchetyOldJarhead at June 09, 2013 11:47 AM (1EJ2w)

295 The CRIenglish website says the line literally translates as "California Redwood".

Posted by: Rosalie at June 09, 2013 12:03 PM (TCqhy)

296 I am getting one as soon as the Chinese version
is for sale at WalMart f0r 99.99 yuan.

Posted by: marcus t. cicero at June 09, 2013 12:07 PM (SmCFT)

297 "What does the inscription on the seat say?" ***** Built in East China

Posted by: Beto at June 09, 2013 12:31 PM (MhA4j)

298 Haven't read the comments yet, but did anyone point out that if Obama was set on giving China's president furniture, it would have made a ton more sense to give him something from the Arts & Crafts movement, especially given his Chicago ties?

Posted by: Y-not at June 09, 2013 01:36 PM (5H6zj)

299 307 Authentic redwood furniture tends to be in the Empire style: large/bulky and not especially attractive. It's pretty uncommon, even here in California. I've seen a few pieces of this furniture in a museum at the Empire Mine in Grass Valley, Ca and the historic Weyerhaeuser building at the port in Everett, Wa. The rarest milled wood for architectural use in here in California? Not Redwood. Coastal Cypress.

Posted by: 13times at June 09, 2013 02:14 PM (fGPLK)

300 Should have made it out of Chinese-manufactured solar panels

Posted by: T at June 09, 2013 02:17 PM (HwdJ8)

301 nothing says quality workmanship like exposed bolt heads and screws ...

Posted by: JeffC at June 09, 2013 02:17 PM (dtOe6)

302 Should have given him a trillion dollar bill for all the R&D they just #hacked.

Posted by: Beagle at June 09, 2013 02:32 PM (KmQ03)

303 Good lord the man is a cad. The thing was probably built in China.

Posted by: Shennaniganist at June 09, 2013 03:51 PM (dZMp3)

304 "312 Good lord the man is a cad. The thing was probably built in China." No, just the hardware, not just for aircraft anymore. http://tinyurl.com/788dass

Posted by: Grade 8 Nut at June 09, 2013 04:39 PM (7aZuj)

305 Yeah, yeah. President Chair is giving out benches. Perhaps the Mandarin is best translated as "Reset".

Posted by: dissent555 at June 09, 2013 09:10 PM (yR6A1)

306 OK, since it didn't first appear until the 41st post, I felt obligated to repeat it (again).

Posted by: dissent555 at June 09, 2013 09:14 PM (yR6A1)

307 It looks like something my dad could put together in a couple hours if he didn't care about the result. Typical Obama taste and decorum.

Posted by: nraendowment at June 10, 2013 12:55 AM (evvGi)

308 167 And shouldn't a proper diplomatic gift be from the people of the United States' rather than from one particular bony-assed one?

Posted by: zsasz at June 09, 2013 02:22 PM (MMC8r)

^^^THIS^^^

We don't matter to this motherfucker and we never have. In fact, we don't even exist as people so far as he's concerned. It is always, ALWAYS about Obastard.

Posted by: creeper at June 10, 2013 06:06 AM (vbzvs)

309 @82 I thought Teddy and FDR were cousins.

True, but distant cousins, (like 5th cousins). Eleanor Roosevelt, on the otherhand, was TR's niece, (his brother's daughter).

Posted by: jbarntt at June 10, 2013 05:27 PM (UNFot)

310 &&&

Posted by: trainer says HI to the NSA at June 12, 2013 08:34 AM (K5X44)

311 the characters mean that the redwood is specific to from California and is the best Chinese rendition of California that I ever seen- "kah-lee-fo-ni-yah" the Chinese can't seem to pronounce it right so it becomes "Chee-ya-lee-foo-ni-yah", or even "Jajuu" The Americans got this one right. But the pinkish color leaves one wondering

Posted by: freeman at June 12, 2013 09:36 AM (b79ht)

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