1

Doom from another direction. 

 

Makes sense, but I put the issue back to Betty Friedan who wrote a damned book saying women should have it all...and it was lapped up by the so-called intelligentsia.

2 Monty, I want you to write more. I thought your DOOM stuff was good, but the last two days have shown that your skill with words extends beyond pithy statements about people trying to paper over reality and math. You have a keen intellect that I would like to see more of here.

3 Yup, for a long time, feminism hasn't been about being equal, but about being superior.  Now that women are in the same boat as men, they don't seem to like it, nor to understand that their issues are the same ones men already had.

So, how long before gays start lamenting the marriages they demanded?  Or until they whine about the inequity of it all, while heterosexual couples who have known this for years and years resist the urge to punch their whining faces in?

What?  Me bitter?

4 From the article: “Once she started to work, she started to place more value in herself, and because she put more value in herself, she put herself in front of a lot of things — family, and ultimately, her marriage.” --- Yet the article runs 9,000 words after the problem is identified. Go figure.

5 Nuclear war so early in the morning?

6 Bravo!

7 I blame Disney.

8 Unexpected DOOM! 2. The end of the marriage is assumed to be the man's fault. It's never because the woman is a chronic depressive, or sexually unavailable, or emotionally distant, or a shrew. If women learn how to make decent sammiches, then everything would be ok in the world! *snark* High-earning supermodels and actresses solve the problem by falling in love with billionaires, professional athletes, or captains of industry. Don't do it ladies! You'll find more satisfaction with a Moron. Trust me. *spreads rumor* It's accepting that you aren't the center of the universe. That day came for me when I saw my son born.

9 You realize this is an argument against heterosexual marriage only, right?  Two men marrying won't have that whole "inferior beings with no Y chromosome fucking things up by not being doormats" defect.

10 Eve's first words to Adam in the garden of Eden? "It's missing something."

11 Bravo, Monty, bravo!!!! I remember my Dad going back to college to earn a degree in computer science. My mom had six kids, and when I complained about not seeing him much, she said "You should be grateful, he's doing this because he loves you. He can make more money and help our family. He'd rather be home watching TV!!" Not only did it make me appreciate my Dad more when he was home, but it was a very important lesson I never forgot: love is in ACTIONS, not feelings or words. Maybe it's why I'm a conservative.

"That's the Great Compact, the cosmic deal that has kept civilization on a paying basis for the last several thousand years."  And now we've broke the compact, and WE'RE broke -- hmmm, maybe a connection here?

12 The best argument against marriage is divorce court if you are a man in the Southeast.


And when did all this psycho crap start? It started when women started working.  Why did women start working?  It wasn't because they needed a career, it was because inflation ate up the household income so much they had to start working.

13 My wife's brother is a firefighter and farmer. So while he's gone much of the time, he made a good enough living that my sister-in-law didn't have to work and they had a very nice home. After she was caught by her father-in-law in flagrante delecto with another man, she had the gall to demand wife's bro "change" and help out more at home. Which he did, cutting back hours, going to counseling, etc. And she STILL divorced him. And yes, it's his fault per her even though was cheating on him. Bright side, my nieces and nephews are all still mad at their mom and would much rather be with their dad, who has them 60-75 percent of the time. I told my own wife if she ever feels the need to do anything like that she should just shoot me in the head. It'd be a lot less painful.

14

I'm not against women working. What I am against is this idea that it's somehow a woman's right not to be inconvenienced by her job.

 

Or inconvenienced by her life:  "What do you mean I can't have birth control pills for free right now?!?!?!"

15 I never married.. . .

It isn't any better.

16 Sorry. Can't read a nine-page article courtesy of the NY Times with a slant so predictably anger-inducing from the first couple of paragraphs.

17 >> Judith Warner, a contributing writer, is a senior fellow at the Center for American Progress Orwell, you magnificent bastard.

18 Most of them are in that class that wants to be known by all their names, given, last, and husband's, as if the last one is just a caboose that can be readily dropped. The first one was making a half a mil a year when she opted out. Wonder who has that job now. Typical NYT and WaPo blather. Tender sob stories for the one percenters.

19 Sorry for (only) ranting, Monty, and not giving you the mad props you deserve!  Damn good writing, thank you!  You have an incredible talent, and I am glad you are sharing it with us.

20 Sorry. Can't read a nine-page article courtesy of the NY Times with a slant so predictably anger-inducing from the first couple of paragraphs.

---------

Push through it; reading the whole thing pays dividends. Maybe not the ones the writer intended, but still.

21 Posted by: HeatherRadish™ needs a beer at August 09, 2013 08:23 AM (/kI1Q) Gay men are capable of being as big a head case as any women. They'll just never publish stories about gay marriage failing, all that will be embargoed.

22 This is really, really good, Monty. Thank you.

23

When my husband (of 23 years now) and I were getting married, the good Father sat us down and very clearly explained that our relationship was going to need time and attention always, that it was the foundation for everything.  Even before any children we might have - because if our relationship went south, do did the family.  Seemed kinda selfish to me then (not focus first on the kids?) but he was right.  But if I may, it seems like the real ingredient missing in all of this crapola is maturity, maybe a side of consideration for others.  But maturity of the "adults." All this "what about meeeeeee?" angst is pathetic. 

24 The article is a fascinating study of female psychosis. You misspelled psychotic.

25

All true, but a good one is worth everything. If it hasn't happened to you, something magical is missing from your life.  A wise man once said 'happy wife, happy life'. If your life ain't happy at home, it ain't happy anywhere.

And I'm sorry for that.

26 dr kill at August 09, 2013 08:28 AM (BTguA)

Some women can't be made happy.

27 It is amazing to see how similar the left's methods are to that of the original sin. To wit: some suggestion or statement is made to someone regarding their diminished or inferior status, and all the aggrieved person has to do is [insert goal] and viola; they will be just as equal as the others. The left's denigration of the role of the mother as the primary care giver and manager of the household was only the first step in the destruction of the American lifestyle. The second was the denigration of the role of the father by supplanting him with federal aid and food stamps. Supplement both of those actions with no accountability for choices or actions and presto; permanent lower class and regenerating FSA.

28 Two men marrying won't have that whole "inferior beings with no Y chromosome fucking things up by not being doormats" defect.

Chip/shoulder, some disassembly required.

No-one is asking for a doormat.  What is being said is that when you get married and have a family, that the marriage and family should come first.  You voluntarily compromise a little on selfish wants to gain the strength of a partnership.  The whole two lives becoming one thing...you know?

29 Another entry in the never ending liberalism is force of evil and needs to be stomped to death and set on fire.

30 Nice piece, Montgomery.

31

>>>Men don't write articles like this because we know better.

 

We'll also stand in front of a predictable  marital trainwreck for the sake of our kids.

32 Letting women vote was a big mistake, big mistake!

33 Interesting thoughts and well written. However, what's the solution? Women have been working outside the home for decades and.-like men- have been complaining about the sacrifices they have had to make for decades. We'er not going back to home being a haven and refuge where men work and women come in with pipe and slippers, if such a time even existed. Women are opting out of marriage too. If the earn more-saly- they don't think it's necessary to have a husband to have children, and gays married with children are finding the same sort of pull between job and home. The dissatisfaction will increase as people are required to work more to make ends meet. Men are opting out because they can get plenty of milk without buying the cow (as the clever but depressing twitter fest of Depressive Blogger and others yesterday showed) So the attitude, "For God's sake let us sit upon the ground and tell sad stories of the death of Kings" (0r in this particular case, the death of husbands and fathers) really doesn't solve anything. The pathology is the narcissism-a quality that both men and women can share in.

34

>>>However, what's the solution?

 

Bogey said you gotta slap them dames around some

35 Damn autocomplete!

36 Some women can't be made happy.

Posted by: Completely undisambiguous at August 09, 2013 08:31 AM (Q3qm1)

Neither can some men.  I know lots of women who had plenty sh!tty husbands, like my one girlfriend whose husband thought a good punch to the jaw was the perfect way for a 6'8" man to "straighten" out a 5'4" inch woman.  Or my acquaintance who put her husband through law school while enduring 7 miscarriages so he could have a boy, because just having a daughter was not enough.  Then after he passed the bar, boom, he left her for his legal secretary and took the kids that she almost died bearing him.

Why all the hate on us women?  I was married for 36--it only ended because he died.  It was work for both of us.  It was one hell of a lot of work for me taking care of a very ill man for ten years--but, that is what love and commitment mean.

37 That should be-if they earn more, sadly,.....

38

You misspelled psychotic.

 

Posted by: rickb223 at August 09, 2013 08:28 AM (cUARf)

 

Point of order - psychosis is the noun version of psychotic.

 

Besides, what difference at this point does it make?

39 "now they [These not that good looking nags] were learning that some things were beyond even their prodigious powers of control." --- Aww, how awful! Even though you're a sales director at the all powerful Oracle corporation "prodigious powers!!" life still is sometimes hard and crappy. GET OUT!

40 From what I've read so far, in the first few pages, "Rich women upset that being rich doesn't continue to grant the same benefits when they stop being married to rich people."

Who knew? Upsetting your life with a divorce makes things harder.

41 As a woman, yes I can say most women are nuts. I have been nuts then one day I grew up and realized it wasn't all about me. Unfortunately, I hurt some people along the way, which was hard to forgive myself for. Some women never grow out of that mentality and feminists and Oprah serve only to keep women in a selfish, memememe state. Hell look at most "family" tv shows and commercials. Husband is a bumbling idiot and the wife is the ey-rolling sage.

42 Let It Burn. Oops, wrong thread. Or is it?

43 If you cannot give a portion of yourself to make your spouse happy and your spouse cannot give a portion of themselves to make you happy, how will either be able to give a portion of themselves to make the child happy and the family successful? Raising a child is the most critical function of the family. The movement to denigrate the efforts or the role of one parent at the expense of the other for political or monetary profit is nothing short of evil and should be exposed as such.

44 Wymyn - can't live with them, can't kill them, but if your life insurance policy is large enough, they can do "post-natal abortion" on you.

45

You realize this is an argument against heterosexual marriage only, right? Two men marrying won't have that whole "inferior beings with no Y chromosome fucking things up by not being doormats" defect.

 

No one is demanding that women become doormats, or claiming that they're inferior.  We're annoyed because society has foisted on women unrealistic expectations and then blamed men for not fulfilling those expectations.  Somehow a large number of women have been convinced that marriage and family life should never involve sacrifices of any sort.  Or if they do make sacrifices, that we should all bow down in worship. 

 

46 "It it wasn't for fucking there'd be a bounty on them". Words of wisdom from my grandfather. The Mrs and I celebrated 35 years in June. It wasn't all bliss

47 Posted by: kqb29 at August 09, 2013 08:28 AM (L6IRZ) Well said.

48 This article reads like one of those links we see from time to time saying: "Scientists confirms men stare at breasts and skimpy photos of Sofía Vergara" I bet the geniuses at the (dying) NY Times thought this was all a searing revelation and shit.

49 Here's a different thought: perhaps work is overrated in it's entire spectrum. Careerism notwithstanding, even truly altruistic-ish work to accomodate higher family lifestyle and more 'possibilities' for children. Isn't it silly? There are more than enough enough possibilities for your children even if you stand on the very lowest steps of the middle classhood. If you don't like being a workaholic, if you do like family life - why sabotage it? Why ruin it? Do you really believe your children would rather have better school lunches than to have a functioning, stress-less family?

50 . . . Not to mention women NEVER lie about abuse, rape . . . Besides a majority of women voters vote Demorat. That rules out a lot of them right there.

51 "And about a quarter took jobs with lesser management responsibilities or had to accept a lower job title than the one they had when they left."

-- Isn't that true about almost anyone who leaves the work force -- whether for kids, school, being laid off? I mean, in general, you don't get a better job after having nothing on your resume for a few years.

52

>>>>Women are opting out of marriage too.

 

Meh. Too many people got sold on the idea that marriage is about soul mates and shit. You try to tell 'em it isn't, that its for kids not you, that its a business contract at heart. But its a bad contract as written now.

53 Marriage and family, to most men, is the reward for work, not a distraction from it. Work makes family life possible; family life makes work bearable. ------------ That's one of the best things I've ever read on the traditional male view of marriage. Thanks. My first marriage ended because of my wife's infidelity. And whenever someone asks me about it, especially a woman, I cringe inside because I get this feeling that I won't be believed and that it will be assumed that I was the unfaithful piece of shit.

54 "One of the best arguments against marriage ever written (DISCLAIMER: This piece refers to "men" and "women" as a group. The Author understands that this large group of human beings contains many divergent beliefs and points of view. The Author uses the generalities to preserve rhetorical clarity, not to suggest that all males or females are interchangeable. I feel like I shouldn't have to point this out, but given the topic, I'm going to make it explicit anyhow.) This article makes a dandy primer on why men are increasingly opting out of marriage altogether, especially blue-collar men. That probably wasn't the intent of the article, but it does a splendid job of making the case nonetheless. The article is a fascinating study of female psychosis. It is a very valuable one for men to read, because it illustrates with crystalline clarity many of the pathologies currently at work in the half of humanity without a Y chromosome. Several points leap out from the background noise. 1. It's always women who get these sob stories. Nothing about the divorced men who have to live in a hovel while mom and the kids shack up with her new boyfriend in the house he's still paying for. 2. The end of the marriage is assumed to be the man's fault. It's never because the woman is a chronic depressive, or sexually unavailable, or emotionally distant, or a shrew. No, it's always the man trying to hold her down or keep her back. 3. “I started feeling very devalued when I was with him,” O’Donnel said of her husband, “but when I was doing all this nonprofit stuff, I felt great.” Because apparently it's her husband's job to make sure that she feels like a precious snowflake every hour of every day. How much time did she spend trying to make him feel special and appreciated, I wonder? Or does that door swing only one way? 4. Having kids is a horrible burden, ladies, don't do it! You'll ruin your life for those snot-nosed little monsters! Women want it all. They're finding that they can't have it, any more than men can. Men have understood for...well, forever...that success in work means making sacrifices at home, and vice versa. It means missing your son's T-ball games and your daughter's piano recitals. It means going on business trips that can take you away from your loved ones for weeks at a time. It means stress, pressure, and disappointment. It means dying a decade sooner than your wife. Home used to be a haven, a place of rest and refuge; now it's a simply another arena for a man to compete in, only this time he's competing against his own wife. Female hypergamy comes into play as well. When women become more successful in their careers than their husbands, the marriage almost inevitably fails. The woman will rationalize this in any number of ways, but when it comes right down to it women don't like being married to lower-status men. It's true in every age and culture in the world. Successful women often become trapped in this paradox. The more successful they are in the workforce, the more unhappy they are in their marriage. High-earning supermodels and actresses solve the problem by falling in love with billionaires, professional athletes, or captains of industry. A higher-status mate can still be had without sacrificing the career. For everyone else, hard choices must be made. Sheilah O'Donnel made her choices. If things didn't turn out the way she expected, well, that's life. Welcome to the club. She's joining billions of other people in exactly the same boat. But thinking that divorcing her husband and getting a job is somehow going to magically transform her life -- that's just more of the magical thinking that led her to trouble in the first place. The problem isn't out in the world; it's inside of her own head. I'm not against women working. What I am against is this idea that it's somehow a woman's right not to be inconvenienced by her job. Men have been dealing with this work-life conundrum for millennia now, and no one weeps for the time they lose with their children or the loneliness they feel while away from their families. Men suck it up because they know there's no real choice. If you want to provide for your family, you do the necessary. No one's going to congratulate you for doing what you ought to be doing anyhow. It doesn't make you a hero, or special. It's what you should be doing. Able-bodied men who don't do it are contemptible. To the women in the linked story, I'd say this: you know what life is? Choices. Compromise. Decisions. Mistakes. Sacrifice. It's not about you, no matter what Oprah and Dr. Phil and all the supermarket magazines say. It's about your family. It's about raising decent and well-adjusted kids. It's about finding happiness and contentment with the person you're married to, and weathering the storms that come. It's caring about your family more than you do yourself. It's accepting that you aren't the center of the universe. Do you dislike your job or feel unfulfilled? Welcome to the human race. Most people don't like their jobs, and most people feel unfulfilled. It's the human condition. It's striking the degree to which modern feminism and the "self-esteem movement" has led to a form of sociopathic behavior in many women. Self-actualization has become the end-all and be-all of existence, the magnetic pole around which all of life turns. In men this behavior is recognized as a mental illness, but in women it is more often than not encouraged as a kind of empowerment. And it doesn't even lead to greater happiness on the part of women, based on the evidence, but discontent and bitterness. Men don't write articles like this because we know better. The work/life balance has always been grossly unequal. That's just the way life is. You can't be in two places at once, and you can only divide your mental energies into so many quanta. There are only so many hours in the day. Marriage and family, to most men, is the reward for work, not a distraction from it. Work makes family life possible; family life makes work bearable. That's the Great Compact, the cosmic deal that has kept civilization on a paying basis for the last several thousand years."

55 We are at DEFCON 2, ladies and gentlemen.  Prepare yourselves for the worst.

56 Letting women vote was a big mistake, big mistake!

Posted by: Keep leach at August 09, 2013 08:39 AM (rFlKB)

I warn you, I am on the second day of a two day migraine and this whole meme of not letting women vote makes me volcanically angry.  It is not JUST women that are the problem--it is letting people who have no skin in the game vote...only taxpayers, people who own property, or people who have served honorably in the military should have the right to vote.  Because out of the capital L Liberals that I know, most of them are men.

57 WHY DO YOU HATE VAGINAS, MONTY?

58 "It it wasn't for fucking there'd be a bounty on them". Tattoo time. Seriously.

59 Why all the hate on us women? I was married for 36--it only ended because he died. It was work for both of us. It was one hell of a lot of work for me taking care of a very ill man for ten years--but, that is what love and commitment mean. Posted by: Sherry McEvil, Stiletto Corsettes C'est Magnifique at August 09, 2013 08:40 AM (kXoT0) Not all women, Sherry.

60 Here is another problem identified in this article: " A graduate of Brown University and the John F. Kennedy School of Government at Harvard, Carrie, who is 47, worked for the better part of a decade doing educational-policy research." ---"Educational policy research" - whatever the hell that is - shouldn't be considered a real job nor does graduating from the Kennedy School of Government at Harvard mean you're entitled to "have it all" What a joke.

61 All of this just confirms what men have known for thousands of years; that women are fickle, naive, and relatively self centered compared to men.
Power was not meant for them, period. With power comes leadership and responsibility, which the majority of them are not wired for.
This is not to put women down, they are just as valuable as men in a different way, but we are responsible for them ultimately.
There is a pecking order which was established a long time ago and we are running headlong into our destruction as a society but not adhering to it.
Of course many others here have said the same thing much better than I have, just my 2 cents.

62 And it isn't about hating on women. It's about women thinking they have the right to take and take and never have to give back or sacrifice. That feminism had made women have this sense of entitlement that they deserve something from men and they deserve everything they wantvwithout compromise and it just doesn't work that way.

63 The preceeding post was brought to you by us - Ask us for the Moron Discount Cup...er...Double-Check.

64 "It it wasn't for fucking there'd be a bounty on them". Thanks, Mr Rogers. What a beautiful day in the neighborhood. :^(

65

We are at DEFCON 2, ladies and gentlemen. Prepare yourselves for the worst.

 

Posted by: Fritz at August 09, 2013 08:45 AM (UzPAd)

 

Married Morons are at DEFCON 1.

66 Coulda just said "Females is fickle".

Yuk, uk, uk, uk, uk, uk.

67 Oh no, the precious woman who graduated from Harvard's Kennedy school of government hated.....wait for it.....HOUSEWORK!!! "he had no issue doing full-time child care; that was a labor of love. But housekeeping? That was another matter. She resented that the coupleÂ’s mutual mess was now seen as her concern." I would have never, ever, saw that one coming.

68 Married Morons are at DEFCON 1. Posted by: steveegg at August 09, 2013 08:49 AM (o44nj) Shields to maximum. Power up weapons. Fire on my command.

69 Monty, Awesome post. Have you read Men on Strike: Why Men Are Boycotting Marriage, Fatherhood, and the American Dream - and Why It Matters by Helen Smith?

70 Not all women, Sherry.

Posted by: EC at August 09, 2013 08:46 AM (GQ8sn)

People are painting with broad brushes and broad strokes about broads.  Yeah, a lot of us are worthless twats, but, then there are also a whole helluva lot of worthless guys.

I grew up in a household where my Mother did not work outside the home, yet, my Father was so proud of all the very real work she did so that he could work and not worry about the home front. 

71 My wife and I have been married for 32 years.  We are still "friends".  You can not be lovers 100% of the time, but you can be friends.

72 Letting women vote was a big mistake, big mistake!

--

No, it wasn't.  Not all of us vote with our vaginas, you know.  There are a right good number of us, even, that can filter through bullshit pretty well and come out on the right side of logic.  What was a mistake was letting freeloaders vote. 

73 ll of this just confirms what men have known for thousands of years; that women are fickle, naive, and relatively self centered compared to men. Power was not meant for them, period. With power comes leadership and responsibility, which the majority of them are not wired for. BWAHAHAHAHA-Yeah, our current crop of men in government shows how steady, smart and selfless men are and how fit for responsibility.

74 What an evil bastard this husband must be! He wanted this powerful woman - with a Harvard graduate degree in government, no less! - to....gasp....SWEEP! “I had the sense of being in an unequal marriage,” she told me. “I think he preferred the house to be ‘kept’ in a different kind of way than I was prepared to do it. If I had any angst about being an overeducated stay-at-home mom, it was not about raising the kids, but it was about sweeping." ---He's just as bad as Hitler! I bet he got her a broom for Christmas!!!!

75 Fantastic, Monty.

Absolutely fantastic.

76 Which is not to knock men. It's the say that positive qualities you mention come from how people were raised and with what values-not based on gender.

77 That's right, this isn't about hating on women. It's about acknowledging that they are never happy with anything. They aren't supposed to be...are any of us, really?
My ex left me with this notion that she wasn't happy, could never be happy with me and there was some set of circumstances out there involving just the right mix of having her own place, a new boyfriend, and just the right amount of the kids in her life (not too much, not too little...yes I have the boys and she's a fucking part time Mom now) to "make her happy".

2 years on and she has her own crappy apartment, a new boyfriend she was banging on my dime during our marriage, and sees the kids only when she wants. And she is the most miserable person I have ever known.
Congratulations ladies....liberation!

78 WHY DO YOU HATE VAGINAS, MONTY?

--------------

It's not fear, exactly. It's a combination of excitement and dread, like just before you get on a roller coaster. You've been looking forward to it all day, but all of a sudden just before you get on, you start having second thoughts.

79 People are painting with broad brushes and broad strokes about broads. Yeah, a lot of us are worthless twats, but, then there are also a whole helluva lot of worthless guys. There are worthless human beings on both sides of the chromosome split. I see them everyday. Some of them at my work. This articles wasn't meant to group all women under the "spiteful bitches" banner. It's just pointing out the examples where those women are surprised to find out that work sometimes takes time set aside for marriage and family. They are shocked to find out that no one else is moving heaven and earth to accommodate their schedules.

80 To the women in the linked story, I'd say this: You wanted to run with the big dogs. Suck it up buttercup. Welcome to the real world.

81 >>>Married Morons are at DEFCON 1.

Posted by: steveegg at August 09, 2013 08:49 AM (o44nj) <<<

That's part of the contract.  He who backs down first, loses.

"I'll push this fucking button!  Don't make me do it!  You do not want me to do this!"

82 That feminism had made women have this sense of entitlement that they deserve something from men and they deserve everything they wantvwithout compromise and it just doesn't work that way.

Posted by: DangerGirl, getting angrier by the day at August 09, 2013 08:47 AM (0MVzQ)

See, I never fell into the feminist trap.  I knew that the feminists did not care about women, they cared about power and for that most unholy crime against women--infanticide by tortuous dismemberment.  At a time when having a baby out of wedlock was becoming perfectly acceptable and even subsidized by the government, the feminists still held up a woman destroying herself and her unborn child as the highest good.  I have hated feminists from the gitgo because they are frauds who damage women.

83 Been married almost 13 years, definitely some tricky spots in the early years, but we get along better now than ever. I am very lucky.

84 When my aunt Lil and Uncle Claude were married, they exchanged pistol cartridges with each others names on them. Within the vows, the expression "till death do you part" was changed to "till death do you part and mean it, totes seriously" One day, Aunt Lil plugged Uncle Claude from a good 100 feet. To this day, the men folk never teach their brides the Weaver stance, ever.

85 Yeah, our current crop of men in government shows how steady, smart and selfless men are and how fit for responsibility.

I wonder what type of men we would have in office if only men voted?

And that is a serious question...

86 >>> Married Morons are at DEFCON 1. What, you think I just read this article to my wife? Besides, she is extremely critical of her own gender.

87 I am lucky. 31 years in October, and wouldn't trade a day.

88 I had a career that I walked away from after the birth of our first child. Had the second baby and stayed at home until he entered first grade. I worked part time at their private school so I could be on the same schedule and be available. My husband worked from can to can't so that *I* could do what I wanted to do. Now the kids are grown and stable. My husband has had a fantastic career. I work part-time for fun. My husband was the rock that made the plan work. I am eternally grateful that he saw us as a team. *Our*money, *Our* home, *Our* children. Women are such selfish twits these days. Their *feelings* are sacrosanct. I have got news for them....Feelings change. Weekly. Maybe even daily. Grow up and deal with it. Life has tradeoffs.

89 "BWAHAHAHAHA-Yeah, our current crop of men in government shows how steady, smart and selfless men are and how fit for responsibility."

I couldn't agree more, never said men couldn't be complete assholes too.
IT starts with us -- if we don't do our jobs as men, nobody will.

90 @73 If women didn't vote there would never have been a carter, Clinton or Obama presidency. Average gender gap is 10% point in favor of the democrats. End women's suffrage now!

91 "The problem isn't out in the world; it's inside of her own head." This is true of SO MANY problems in America today. Worse, it creates so many more.

92 The article shows that 40 years of 'experts' telling girls that motherhood and being a homemaker are worthless has sunk in.  To this day, women who stay home are looked down upon,      despite the fact that their children are    far better off. 

93

I warn you, I am on the second day of a two day migraine and this whole meme of not letting women vote makes me volcanically angry. It is not JUST women that are the problem--it is letting people who have no skin in the game vote.

 

**slides Sherry painkillers and bottle of bourbon**

 

Ann Barnhart made an interesting point once; she noted that, before womens' suffrage, the vote was of more consequence, because a man was not just voting for himself, he was voting for his family and thus had to more carefully consider the ramifications of his vote.  I'm certainly not saying this is true in all circumstances - yes, women gave us the Syphilitic Hillbilly and Preznit Preezy, but men gave us Woodrow Wilson - but I suspect a lot of family men had the thought of "how will this affect my family?" when they cast a ballot.

 

But I'm on your page completely, Sherry.  I've said before on these threads that I would abolish universal suffrage; not only should some people not vote (government employees, for one), others should be actively prevented from voting (which is most of Barky's base).  A constitutional republic is, as we've learned to our everlasting shame, too precious an institution to be the responsibility of every skylarking layabout with a pulse.

94 Well, I read it. The subjects being discussed are some of the most complex you will ever deal with in your life. My household is very non-traditional. My wife makes the big money. I stay at home and occasionally work part time. Our kids are happy, our dogs are happy. I have been happier, she is enjoying her job but occasionally mumbles under her breat "Fuck womens lib. Those bitches fuck over every woman on the planet." Here are my takeaways from the article. The narcessism abounds, my, my, I, I me, me, etc. WTF. Every person knows when you have children and a family. Your life is no longer yours. If you were so FKN stupid to have expectations of the same life you had before you had a spouse and children, you can't be helped. I don't see anything about Jesus in there. Without a strong spiritual foundadtion, it's extremely difficult to survive in a world designed to eat you soul. Lots of talk about money. I know happy poor people and miserable rich people. The job should be shaped around the family. The family should not be shaped around the job. That's what I see these arrogant asshats doing. They set themselves up for failure and were to stupid to know it.

95 Posted by: Tex Lovera at August 09, 2013 08:56 AM (wtvvX) Wouldn't it depend on the men voting?. Are leftist men who have been voting leftist their entire lives going to vote any differently because no women are voting?

96 You know what my advice is to couples who fight about who cleans the house is...hire a cleaning service.  It may just save your marriage.  Same deal for the lawn, if neither one of you wants to do it...hire a lawn service.

97 I don't see anything about Jesus in there. Without a strong spiritual foundadtion, it's extremely difficult to survive in a world designed to eat you soul. Amen and amen.

98

You know, the absolute BEST thing we could do is go back to the whole "traditional gender roles" thing - men as the breadwinner, abolish no-fault divorce, women with children stay home and actually raise them, etc. etc.

 

 

But no, advocating that (which Western civilization did until, oh, the 1970s) makes you the "Taliban." 

99 Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at August 09, 2013 08:58 AM (zF6Iw) Hey MP4, I just bought your book but I accidently bought the Kindle version. I don't have a Kindle. Lesson? Don't buy shit while you are half asleep. How about comping me a dead tree?

100

It's not hate, exactly. It's a combination of excitement and dread, like just before you get on a roller coaster. You've been looking forward to it all day, but all of a sudden just before you get on, you start having second thoughts.

 

And after you get off, you throw up.

101 Letting women vote was a big mistake, big mistake! The sixteenth, seventeenth, and eighteenth amendments all came before the nineteenth. That cocksucker, Wilson, was elected and re-elected before the nineteenth. The foundations of our fuckedupness were laid before women could vote.

102 Same deal for the lawn, if neither one of you wants to do it...hire a lawn service. It is the man's duty to take care of the lawn. No if's, and's, or but's.

103 **slides Sherry painkillers and bottle of bourbon**   Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at August 09, 2013 08:58 AM (zF6Iw)

Will drink the bourbon happily, but, can't take painkillers...allergic.

104 And after you get off, you throw up. Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at August 09, 2013 09:00 AM (zF6Iw) And then you ride it again.

105 "To the women in the linked story, I'd say this: you know what life is? Choices. Compromise. Decisions. Mistakes. Sacrifice. It's not about you, no matter what Oprah and Dr. Phil and all the supermarket magazines say. It's about your family. It's about raising decent and well-adjusted kids. It's about finding happiness and contentment with the person you're married to, and weathering the storms that come. It's caring about your family more than you do yourself. It's accepting that you aren't the center of the universe. Do you dislike your job or feel unfulfilled? Welcome to the human race. Most people don't like their jobs, and most people feel unfulfilled. It's the human condition." That's the heart of it and brilliantly said.

106 "Why all the hate on us women? I was married for 36--it only ended because he died. It was work for both of us. It was one hell of a lot of work for me taking care of a very ill man for ten years--but, that is what love and commitment mean.

Posted by: Sherry McEvil, Stiletto Corsettes C'est Magnifique at August 09, 2013 08:40 AM (kXoT0)"

Because, Sherry, you are an anachronism.  They don't make 'em like you any more.  Talk to women in their twenties and thirties and see how many of them share your values.

Obviously there is no statement that you can make that describes 100% of anything but I believe that the fraction of the female population who would make the choices you did and do the work that you did is much, much tinier than it was three or four decades ago.

107

@ 96 - "Wouldn't it depend on the men voting?. Are leftist men who have been voting leftist their entire lives going to vote any differently because no women are voting?"

 

You know, this is a really interesting question, and I think the answer would be "Yes, they would vote differently."  Many men vote the way they do specifically because they want to enable the pathologies hinted at in this article.  Why do they?  Because they have the perfectly natural, yet terribly destructive, desire to abscond responsibility.  They are man-children, essentially.  No-fault divorce gives them an excuse to avoid marriage and its responsibilities altogether.  Abortion gives them the means by which to avoid the consequences of their short-term decision-making in sexual matters.  Without these, man would *have* to take some responsibility, and would probably beging to vote more accordingly.

108

Posted by: Oldsailors Poet at August 09, 2013 09:00 AM (XIxXP)

 

No prob, OSP - shoot your address to my nic and I'll send it totes sweet.

 

And thanks!

109 What a horrific #WaronWomyn! this marriage institution is!!! "Many of the women I spoke with were troubled by the gender-role traditionalism that crept into their marriages once they gave up work, transforming them from being their husbands’ intellectual equals into the one member of their partnership uniquely endowed with gifts for laundry or cooking and cleaning; a junior member of the household, who sometimes had to “negotiate” with her husband to get money for child care."

110 OT from Politico "Matt Damon: Obama 'broke up with me' " And you'd vote for him a third time too, you fucking manwich!

111 #12

Plus look at all the stuff that is considered essential by a 30 year old today that didn't even exist when their parents were that age. All of the stuff that needs to be fed with subscription fees, or consumable items, or a flow of new software to keep it interesting.

I get stares of shocked amazement when I tell people I turned off testing support on my cell phone account. It reduced a bill a few bucks for giving up something I'd never use. Texting is for children. Adults use email. I didn't get a so-called smartphone to use a feature designed for devices that only have a dial pad to peck at.

Where I grew up was among the very early recipients of cable TV service, because without it you might get one station. Fuzzily. Back around 1973 the monthly bill from Storer Cable was $12 a month. Not trivial for the era, and I can remember my mother trying to explain to a relative from Florida, where small hills are considered mountains, why she was paying so much for something that was supposed to be free.

It can be easy for young adults to lose sight of what is truly a necessity. If it were not for my mother and sister, who cannot imagine a world without live TV feeds, I'd cut the cable service down to the bare minimum that comes with having the data service. Anything I really want to watch can be downloaded and the savings would add up, knocking my debt down a bit more each month rather than adding to it.

112 @96: Fenelon - Well, I would expect that lefty men would still vote lefty.  I was thinking more along the lines of gender gaps in voting.  If women did not vote, who would we have in office instead of who we have now?  I'm pretty sure women lean more left than men in general, so what would the differences be?

And would the men running for office feel the need to "pander" (for lack of a better word) to women?  Would we have more "masculine" policies?  There are a couple of angles to this question...

113 No prob, OSP - shoot your address to my nic and I'll send it totes sweet. What book is this?

114 It is the man's duty to take care of the lawn.

No if's, and's, or but's.

 

Posted by: EC at August 09, 2013 09:01 AM (GQ8sn)

 

When Mrs. P and I bought stately Poppins Manor, I made her a deal - either you take care of the lawn and garden and I do all of the shoveling, salting and sanding during the winter, or you do winter and I do the lawn.  She picked the lawn.

 

So during the July sun, I can sit on the porch with an adult beverage and in the 15 foot snow drifts, she can curl up on the couch.

115

Posted by: EC at August 09, 2013 09:05 AM (GQ8sn)

 

EC, it's my silent film mystery, The Director's Cut.  Details at my nic.

116 Because, Sherry, you are an anachronism. They don't make 'em like you any more. Talk to women in their twenties and thirties and see how many of them share your values.

Obviously there is no statement that you can make that describes 100% of anything but I believe that the fraction of the female population who would make the choices you did and do the work that you did is much, much tinier than it was three or four decades ago.

Posted by: Obnoxious A-hole at August 09, 2013 09:03 AM (31Nrp)

I know that.  My oldest beloved nephew is on his third wife.  The other beloved nephew is married to an enormously fat, angry shrew with a law degree from Boston College who will make him miserable for the rest of his life.  He is a Conservative Republican and yet, he married a Democrat radical--love--go figure.  However, both of them have sisters who are happily married to the same guys they married 10-15 years ago.  The difference is how the girls were brought up.

117 I think a husband and wife should get to vote for their children, hell each of them gets as many votes as they have dependents.  So a Mormon family with 10 kids would go to the polls with 22 votes in their pocket.

118 So during the July sun, I can sit on the porch with an adult beverage and in the 15 foot snow drifts, she can curl up on the couch. One time, I did catch Mrs. EC mowing the lawn in a jog bra and shorts. I momentarily thought about negotiating a new deal. But no...I like my lawn mower and edger and broadcast spreader.

119 Oh, and I definitely agree with the idea that they don't "make them like that anymore".  At least, it seems like the percentage of traditional women keeps falling.  My wife (an RN) tells me endless stories of the young things who have no work ethic or morals.

That does not only apply to the women.  It is terribly sad what "society" has done to its children.  It is all such an uphill battle to raise decent kids in the face of institutionalized idiocy...

120 Posted by: Tex Lovera at August 09, 2013 09:05 AM (wtvvX) Well we can do "Wgat ifs" all we want :^) but unless radical Islam takes control of our country women's suffrage will not be revoked/

121

Yeah, I've been considering decreasing my traffic to this site significantly.

 

Waking up to this bile sealed the deal. 

 

 

I always tended to think that left-wing talk of the right wanting women dumb and submissive is hyperbole, but I read something like this and have to admit, yeah, they're not so far off the mark. 

 

TLDR version: women, avoid education because men marry down, and only those relationships where men marry down are happy relationships.  Don't think of yourself as the center of the universe, even though 9 out of 10 men do.  That's permissible, but if you do it, you're a crazy narcissist.  Well, you're crazy regardless. It's your job to take care of family on top of your career; shut up, don't complain, even if the male in the relationship doesn't contribute towards family.  This is your added burden, and if you don't like it, you're not really a woman.

 

If the Republican leadership hadn't already lost me, my fellow right-leaning politicos do a great job.  I suspect this contempt is hidden beneath a pretty thin veneer sometimes.

122 Meant "What ifs.

123 The three factors that have been universally effective at keeping people out of poverty have always been 1. Finish school, 2. Get married and stay married, 3. Don't have children outside of marriage.

Is it a coincidence that the left has spent the past 50-60 years destroying the education system, tearing down marriage, and encouraging sexual promiscuity?

124 " It's caring about your family more than you do yourself. " This, more than anything else I've said*, results in stunned/shocked faces from my wife's single friends. Just does not compute. We make decisions as a unit and they just don't get that. So I advise them not the get married if they don't understand that. *wacko-bird libertarian. I say lots of things.

125 Excellent post. Again. Maybe now I'll go read the linked article, too. Re missing family things for work, as a dad who got to mostly be home with the kids (and did not serve), I'd especially salute those in the armed services! "...no one weeps for the time they lose with their children or the loneliness they feel while away from their families." On the inside.

126 Skip

127 @113 There is not a single presidential election in the last. 30 years where the democrat has gotten a majority of the male vote.

128

La Mauvaise New Yorkaise at August 09, 2013 09:09 AM (WIIFY)

 

Well, the Tepid Air button on your computer works just fine, I suspect.

 

Bye.

129 Posted by: La Mauvaise New Yorkaise at August 09, 2013 09:09 AM (WIIFY)

Did the precious little snowflake get her feelings hurt?

Good riddance.

130 The left's denigration of the role of the mother as the primary care giver and manager of the household was only the first step in the destruction of the American lifestyle. The second was the denigration of the role of the father by supplanting him with federal aid and food stamps. Supplement both of those actions with no accountability for choices or actions and presto; permanent lower class and regenerating FSA.

Posted by: CrotchetyOldJarhead at August 09, 2013 08:32 AM (lbBsF)
===========

THIS!  

I grew up in a "traditional" family where the father worked and the mother MANAGED THE ECONOMY OF THE HOUSEHOLD.  She made sure that the money my Dad brought home was able to feed, shelter, and nurture the five people in our family.  HOW THE HELL IS THAT JOB OF MANAGING RESOURCES "INFERIOR" TO THE JOB OF PROVIDING THE RESOURCES?

We were by no means wealthy, but we were well cared for because Mom could make Dad's salary meet our family's requirements.  That is a vital job and when it gets neglected it doesn't matter how much money comes in because it will be wasted if nobody works to make sure it goes as far as it possibly can.  Kind of like what happens in DC.

131

If the Republican leadership hadn't already lost me, my fellow right-leaningpoliticos do a great job. I suspect this contempt is hidden beneath a pretty thin veneer sometimes.

 

I am reasonably sure the Hot Air button on your computer works.  However, considering your reading comprehension, perhaps Slate is more your speed.

132 Very good sir, very good.

133 If the Republican leadership hadn't already lost me, my fellow right-leaningpoliticos do a great job. I suspect this contempt is hidden beneath a pretty thin veneer sometimes. I didn't read Monty's comemnts as entirely negatively as you did.

134 tip: Chicken Of The Sea is the superior tuna. Starkist is mediocre; Bumble Bee is inferior. Their prices reflect their quality perfectly.

135 Speaking of asshole male pols, Slick and Gaylord both came from single mother households headed by nympho tramps. Anybody thinking that's coincidental to what damaged trash they are doesn't have enough sense to come in out of the rain.

136 I eat a lotta tina, so I'm kinda an expert.

137 And would the men running for office feel the need to "pander" (for lack of a better word) to women? Would we have more "masculine" policies? There are a couple of angles to this question... Sandra Fluke would still be a slut. But her 15 minutes of fame wolud have been cut to 7 & 1/2 minutes & she would be buying her own rubbers.

138 I'm saving my marriage stories for my book entitled "Amazing Tales of a Town Whore".

139 I alwaystended to think that left-wing talk of the right wanting women dumb and submissive is hyperbole, but I read something like thisandhave to admit, yeah, they're not so far off the mark. You've completely misinterpreted this post.

140 I eat a lotta tina, so I'm kinda an expert.

I'm actually hoping that's a typo.

141 One of the reasons I hang out here (much more than I probably should) is because of the wonderfully conservative womenfolk.  You are much appreciated (by me at least) in this day and age...

142 I hadn't heard anything about Clinton's mother being a tramp-just about Obama's mother being that way. It is possible for women to be single mothers without being tramps.

143 Only made it through a couple of pages...Good God, what a bunch of smug asses these people appear to be.  It was like reading "Stuff White People Like" with a cameo appearance by children.

144 Jumping Jesus on a Pogo Stick - when will the NYT die? Rule number 1, never marry a girl that reads the NYT. If you do, then get a Shiska.

145 I eat a lotta tina, so I'm kinda an expert. Chunk or flake? Oil or water?

146 La Mauvaise New Yorkaise at August 09, 2013 09:09 AM (WIIFY)

Don't let us keep you, however, it has been my observation that all the Morons here feel they married UP, way up.

147 Lotta Tina, chubby porn star?

148 I'm saving my marriage stories for my book entitled "Amazing Tales of a Town Whore".

Posted by: UWP at August 09, 2013 09:16 AM (r98SZ)

 

Damn.  What happened?

149 See, I never fell into the feminist trap Posted by: Sherry McEvil, Stiletto Corsettes C'est Magnifique at August 09, 2013 08:55 AM (kXoT0) You may not have, but there are plenty of women out there who did and still are because frauds like Oprah are telling them that they deserve everything they want and you can have it all and men owe it to you because they held you down, sister! That's what this is all about, not that all women are assholes, but that (like the black community) they've been told all this bullshit that just isn't how life works then they're surprised that OMG life doesn't work that way. And unfortunately, they then leave a path of destruction and broken hearts behind.

150 De-lurking for a sec because this is one of those issues that gets me worked up enough to comment. Morons and moronettes seem to be generally accepted to these remarks, so please don't take these comments personally as they're not really directed at the attitudes of folks here. Here's the bottom line. I, as a lady, appreciate that I now have the same opportunities open to me as my husband so long as I am capable and qualified. That is how it should be. What I DO NOT appreciate is the way we got here. What I mean by that is that our attitudes (generally speaking) are still back in the 50s when it concerns domestic work and other work that used to be called "women's work." It was (and still is) looked down upon as unimportant and inferior. Let me tell you something, staying home, taking care of the home, taking care of the children (which is a full time job in itself), cooking every meal, cleaning, laundry, yard work, gardening, budgeting, all of that is *hard damn work.* And don't let anyone tell you there is no trade off like there is when a man goes to work. My job in our family is to take care of home and hearth and let me tell you I have not left the house more than two times per year without a small person in tow in the more than six years since my first child was born. I cannot go to the bathroom by myself. I have no privacy and no real personal time or space. And there are a million things I would love to do that I can't because I have other responsibilities tha come first. That's not me bitching because I love my family and what I do. It's just the reality of things. Women (and men, occasionally) who stay home to take care of business give up a lot, too. The problem here is that this lady, and many others like her (including ladies I know personally) who see no value in the work we do at home and that is because we have been told over and over again that the only work that is valuable is the "men's work" (ie, going out, getting a job, and being successful in some career outside the home). Now look, I have no problem with women who work outside the home. If they and their husbands have figured out how to make it work that way then God love them! Everyone has to do what is best for their own families. But until we collectively get the hell over the idea that "women's work" is inferior and that women are worthless unless they're putting on the pants and pulling 90 hours a week at some power job we will continue to suffer the effects of large scale failing marriages and broken families.

151

@ 122 - "Yeah, I've been considering decreasing my traffic to this site significantly.

Waking up to thisbile sealed the deal."

 

 

Well.......bye.

152 You are much appreciated (by me at least) in this day and age...

Definitely agree!

153 Another great post, Monty.

154 And the Grand Circle Jerk continues. Obama to award former crackhead Oprah and Bill Clinton the Cong Medal Of Freedom today. Political Bullshit Theater.

155 I couldn't get past the first page of that article. I haven't had a full-time job since I married, let alone a career. I left my career -at which I was well-known and respected - n order to move here and marry, and provide a better, more stable life for my kid. I CHOSE TO STAY HOME. My husband never told me I couldn't work. Or that I needed to pull my weight. Screw these women so much. Christ. I chose to be my husband's wife and help-mate. I didn't marry in order to neglect my children and home chasing the almighty dollar. It hasn't always been new cars and filet mignon, it has required sacrifice, but that's what we do. It's what we are meant to do. Guess what? That was our choice. It may not be yours. But whatever we choose to do with our own lives, we should not be castigated or lauded, or judged. /soapbox

156

I eat a lotta tina, so I'm kinda an expert.

 

So Ginger but no Mary Ann, is what you're saying?

157 141 I eat a lotta tina, so I'm kinda an expert. I'm actually hoping that's a typo. Posted by: GMan at August 09, 2013 09:16 AM (sxq57) i'm thinking it is and it isn't

158 I hadn't heard anything about Clinton's mother being a tramp-just about Obama's mother being that way. It is possible for women to be single mothers without being tramps.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at August 09, 2013 09:17 AM (2Tv3A)

Clinton's Mother had a whole string of dysfunctional relationships with men.  As a courtesy to him, it did not get a lot of play in the media, just as Stanley Ann's peccadilloes were politely ignored.

159 Hah!  I love Chicken of the Sea tuna, IN OIL!!

My wife can't believe I eat the stuff.  She'll only eat it packed in water...

160 You know, reading this should have made me feel better. Points 1-4 being dead on except 1 not going far enough and in 2, in my case, the "or's" were "and's. Instead, it just brought back so much pain. I guess it's good God gave me a metabolism that doesn't like alcohol. I'd try to lose myself in a drunken stupor every day.

161 Solid White Albacore Tina.

162 As Steve Martin said in "Parenthood" -" Women have choices, men have responsibilities".

163 ...in water.

164

The article didn't hold my attention, but I did notice the comment about how she and her husband argued over who would help out when the nanny called in sick.  Oh, boo effin hoo!   First world, nay, one-percenter problems.  Spoiled brats.  Guess where my empathy  meter registers.

165 A 16 worker office pool in NJ seems to have one of the two winning NJ Powerball tickets.

http://www.nbcnews.com/id/52711539?gt1=43001#.UgTqyj-Dkbo

166 Posted by: La Mauvaise New Yorkaise at August 09, 2013 09:09 AM (WIIFY) Are you drunk or stupid? Your analysis is obviously for a different post because it makes no sense in reference to Monty's.

167 Posted by: La Mauvaise New Yorkaise at August 09, 2013 09:09 AM (WIIFY) the irony of your hash

168

One thing that gets lost in the discussion about women working outside the home is that this has pretty much ALWAYS happened.

 

 

Except that it ALWAYS happened for working-class women.  They've always had to pitch in and help out to make ends meet.

 

 

I think it belies some of the unspoken yet very real elitist biases of the Left that they only started making a big deal about it when it was middle and upper class women who started working outside the home and "pursuing their careers." 

 

 

They never cared when it was the waitress working 50 hours a week to help her factory-worker husband keep shoes on their kids' feet.

169

Posted by: Mandy P., lurking lurker who lurks at August 09, 2013 09:17 AM (qFpRI)

 

Mandy, you shoud de-lurk more often.  I like reading your posts.

 

And God bless you and your family.

170 I said it a while back but, when little boys are growing up they dream of being an astronaut, playing in the Super Bowl, hunting dinosaurs and other bad ass shit.

Little girls dream of the princess wedding, the big house and raising kids.

You know, look at what they play with.

But: When they grow up, men end up selling insurance to pay for the wife, her fancy wedding, the house and her kids.

Who is getting more of their childhood dreams?
And who whines and whines and whines about how bad they've got it?

There are some very good women in this country.

And there is a very, very awful class of woman who--like the FSA--have become the majority. And, like the FSA, they seem proud of their awful behavior.

171 Monty's comments weren't negative, they are true. Family life involves sacrifice, on everyone's part. Those special snowflakes, of either sex, that make it all about them, are a trial all the way around. It's why teenagers can be so awful, but they at least outgrow it! After 31 years, my husband and I are still good friends and lovers, and we appreciate each other greatly. We appreciate that we each have sacrificed, for the good of us all.

172 All of you guys talking about wifey's mowing the lawn make me jealous.  When I first moved here I had a 3/4 acre lot with only maybe 1/4 acre lawn.  The rest was scrub oak woods.  I mowed it with a push mower. Wifey refused to mow.


The wifey had someone come in a clear off the whole lot.  Now have 3/4 acre to mow (minus house).  Went to a riding mower then.  Wifey still refuses to mow.


Bought lot next door when asshole contractor was going to install a cracker box on it.  It has about 1/2 acre cleared.  Wifey still refuses to mow.  But I am waiting for her to call for clearing off the rest of the lot next door.

173 #118

You want to make the FSA into an even more powerful voting bloc? They tend to have lots of kids, too.

174 TLDR version:women, avoid educationbecause men marry down, and only those relationships where men marry down are happy relationships. Don't think of yourself as the center of the universe, even though 9 out of 10 men do. That's permissible, but if you do it, you're a crazy narcissist. Well, you're crazy regardless.It's your job to take care of family on top of your career; shut up, don't complain, even if the male in the relationship doesn't contribute towards family. This is your added burden, and if you don't like it, you're not really a woman. WTF! Projecting Much? I sense a great deal of unhappiness in you. The point is that life is hard on everybody...assuming that you married or partnered with a decent human being. Sure, it is hard being a stay at home mom sometimes. There is a certain loss of opportunity for a woman. The partner that goes to work every day loses something too. If you are a wor king mother and have to care for a family with little or no help it is even harder. That is why the mate selection process is so important. Many times you can see the problems coming well in advance if you care to look. Selfishness and self centeredness are hard qualities to hide in a relationship, even if you are in the throes of *love*.

175 I eat a lotta tina, so I'm kinda an expert. Chunk or flake? Oil or water? Never eat a flaky tina. Too much drama.

176

How could women, as a whole, be unhappy?  They have half the money and all the pussy. They also have the whip hand in family court. They also have affirmative action. What the hell else do they want?

 

177 A 16 worker office pool in NJ seems to have one of the two winning NJ Powerball tickets. Good; I always like the stories better when more people can share in the riches than when it's one person (or three) taking the whole thing. However, there are stories where some person bilked the rest of the office out of the winnings. I hope that doesn't happen here.

178 Slick's mother was the town whore. Just because the MFM didn't accentuate it doesn't make it less true.

179 Without a strong spiritual foundadtion, it's extremely difficult to survive in a world designed to eat you soul. This. When the magnetic north in your life is based on things in the world, the world will win.

180

I grew up in a depressed-single-mom-feminist house that almost got shut down by social workers more than once, 'cept dear old mom kept us all in terror of being separated - although I now know it would've probly been better for all concerned in the sense of less wasted time straightening out the mindfking we all had gotten. But who can be sure? My dad was around but equally as fked up, massively OCD and a drinker.

 

So yeah, you could imagine I'm a bit cynical about marriage. Only thing I'm absolutely sure of is not leaving kids behind. You know, to not be like them. I'm with a girl now who grew up in a home with the parents married and all and she's pretty much the same way - vowed not to be like her parents.

 

I'm just saying you can't win.

181 OSP, you can return Kindle books at Amazon for a refund, FYI.

182

Excellent post Monty.

Great illustration of female psychosis: Reading on-line profiles of women that are on-line dating. The better looking they are the more insane they are. They are divorced (maybe more than once) and looking for their soul mate, as long as he makes more than $150,000/year. Heh.

183 Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at August 09, 2013 09:21 AM (gPyYF) Jersey huh? I wonder when they'll start finding the bodies.

184 It is possible for women to be single mothers without being tramps.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at August 09, 2013 09:17 AM (2Tv3A)

Yes, my sister did it after her no good cheating husband left her.  She put herself through college while doing it.  She did not date until her youngest married.  As a reward, God sent her a man who literally loves her more than life itself--because his first wife was a no good, "it's all about me" whore.

185 An Army buddy who is in our Powerball pool lived 5 miles from one of the spots that sold a NJ winner. This close!

186 This whole thing reminds me of something John Candy's character Del said in the movie Planes, Trains, and Automobiles: like your work, love your wife. Loving your job is great, but just remember that your job won't love you back.

187 don't really care about marriage myself. the reason i personally havent tied the knot is because i'm far too picky. i will not accept less than my 'ideal dream girl' if im gonna spend the rest of my fucking life with her lol i mean, cmon.

and if she doesnt exist? if i'm being too 'unrealistic'?...oh well, guess i'll be alone then...pffffft. more beer for me, and food too. selfish i know, but you're damn right i am when concerning this path of life.

188 So, Monty got dumped?

189 OSP, you can return Kindle books at Amazon for a refund, FYI. Posted by: DangerGirl, getting angrier by the day at August 09, 2013 09:25 AM (4cA6A) Nah, I'll eat it. Help MP4 pay a little postage.

190 "94 I warn you, I am on the second day of a two day migraine and this whole meme of not letting women vote makes me volcanically angry. It is not JUST women that are the problem--it is letting people who have no skin in the game vote.

**slides Sherry painkillers and bottle of bourbon**

Ann Barnhart made an interesting point once; she noted that, before womens' suffrage, the vote was of more consequence, because a man was not just voting for himself, he was voting for his family and thus had to more carefully consider the ramifications of his vote. I'm certainly not saying this is true in all circumstances - yes, women gave us the Syphilitic Hillbilly and Preznit Preezy, but men gave us Woodrow Wilson - but I suspect a lot of family men had the thought of "how will this affect my family?" when they cast a ballot.

But I'm on your page completely, Sherry. I've said before on these threads that I would abolish universal suffrage; not only should some people not vote (government employees, for one), others should be actively prevented from voting (which is most of Barky's base). A constitutional republic is, as we've learned to our everlasting shame, too precious an institution to be the responsibility of every skylarking layabout with a pulse.

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at August 09, 2013 08:58 AM (zF6Iw)"

A couple of points about Woodrow Wilson and the 19th Amendment.  At the time that Woodrow Wilson was elected and the 19th Amendment was passed, the majority of women already had the right to vote because their states had already passed laws extending suffrage to women.  The 19th Amendment just required that every state do the same.  Secondly, it was Teddy Roosevelt's monstrous ego that make Woodrow Wilson President.  Roosevelt ran as a third party candidate and the result was the damage that Wilson's term in office is still doing to the United States.  When John Schrank shot shot Teddy Roosevelt because he had been instructed to do so in a dream by the ghost of William McKinley, it is a shame that McKinley didn't tell Schrank to use a .45 so that the world could have been spared Wilson.  The .38 S&W bullet Schrank shot was slowed down by Roosevelt's heavy wool overcoat, suit jacket, eyeglasses case, fifty page speech folded over twice, wool vest, linen shirt and woolen undershirt so that it was stopped by a rib. 

191 #122

You've got the dumb covered but the submissive still needs work.


Seriously, you really didn't understand Monty's article. Disable your reactionary buttons and read it again.

192 Posted by: Oldsailors Poet at August 09, 2013 09:00 AM (XIxXP)

Amazon will let you return the Kindle version for full credit.

Go to "Manage My Kindle" or whatever it's called on the website.

193 Brilliant post, Monty. Brilliant. If you found yourself saying "hey, we're not all like tht!!1!1!1!1!", you missed the point entirely.

194 Lurker Mandy P. I like your comments.

These poor Feminazi's want to impress people who don't really know them and never will. It is all about chasing status.

A stay at home mom wants to impress her family. 

My wife quit her job and is now taking care of 2. She is happier, even though, yeah all those things. She has more control over her life now than when she was a public school teacher. And yes, she had two boys in the bathroom while she pooped this morning.  And for some reason, despite how terrible children are for you, she is open to the idea of #3.

It's like no one was ever given this rule: Give your energy to the people that matter the most to you.

In the absence of wisdom, the women and men have been sold a pack of lies.

195

All of you guys talking about wifey's mowing the lawn make me jealous.

 

Well, Mrs P likes to work in the garden, too, which I loathe.  And as I said, I'm out there in the winter freezing my left nut off while she's inside watching Battleship Yamato.

196 149 I'm saving my marriage stories for my book entitled "Amazing Tales of a Town Whore".Posted by: UWP at August 09, 2013 09:16 AM (r98SZ) Damn. What happened? Posted by: Colorado Alex at August 09, 2013 09:17 AM (lr3d7) ---- Its a novel sized story, but I sit on my now RENTED porch every morning stewing with hate for the bitch, waiting for beer thirty. Never drank in the previous 22 years because her dad was an alcoholic and she didn't allow drinking which was not a problem. Matter of fact, I might start early today. Oh yeah, I got problems.

197 I never sang for my mother.

198 Posted by: La Mauvaise New Yorkaise at August 09, 2013 09:09 AM (WIIFY)

I think a careful reading of Monty's superb post will yield a much more rational interpretation.

If anything, Monty is proclaiming the perfect equality of the sexes, and decrying the unbalanced society created by progressive overreach.

199

I only got through the second page before I quit reading.  Sounds like she needs to turn lesbo to have a compatriot to  share the   hate  of  the patriarchy. 

 

500k  a year?  If I were the husband I would definitely  have found  a way to let her continue to work.   The kids would have learned how to drive a golf cart.  

200 147 La Mauvaise New Yorkaise at August 09, 2013 09:09 AM (WIIFY) ------------------ Don't let the doorknob hit you where the good Lord split you, honey. ***sips scotch while patting secretary's ass***

201 oh and the TV told me today that Unemployment Claims at lowest level in 6 years. Woo hoo! Yay, Obama; it only took you 4.7 years to get back to Bush-era Unemployment stats.

202

No one is demanding that women become doormats, or claiming that they're inferior. We're annoyed because society has foisted on women unrealistic expectations and then blamed men for not fulfilling those expectations. Somehow a large number of women have been convinced that marriage and family life should never involve sacrifices of any sort. Or if they do make sacrifices, that we should all bow down in worship.

 

 

In the documentary, "Agenda: The Grinding Down of America," the producer said that the Wymyns' Movement was yet another creation of the Gramsci/Alinsky school of thought.  It was just another grievance group.  He said Betty Friedan never came up with the tripe she spewed, she was just a good soldier who did what she was told and convinced a whole generation of wymyns that they were missing out on something.

203 #191

I take it you don't have a Kindle. Keep in mind there is a Kindle app on just about every platform worth mentioning and you can use that to read your purchase. I'm going to assume you have something capable since you're posting here. I greatly prefer the e-ink display on the Kindle or Nook but that is personal preference. Many say they're fine reading from a backlit screen.

204

"To the women in the linked story, I'd say this: you know what life is? Choices. Compromise. Decisions. Mistakes. Sacrifice. It's not about you, no matter what Oprah and Dr. Phil and all the supermarket magazines say. It's about your family. It's about raising decent and well-adjusted kids."

 

 

 

 

This. I am a stay at home mom and our finances suffer without a second income. Could I get a "real" job? Maybe, the job market sucks so theres that. Do I want to leave my children with a "caregiver" and let that person decide what kind of human my child turns out to be? Hell no! Hubbymayhem agrees with me and works long hours to make the bills so I can take care of the spawn. This is a choice we make.

Women who think they are entitled to "have it all" without any sacrifice are the most selfish people who exist. They don't want to make the hard choices, or sacrifices. They blame their mistakes on someone else. And that someone is the the one they promised to love, honor, and cherish, in good times or bad. Ladies, your husband is not the problem..... YOU ARE!!!

 

My husband is my happy place.

205 You better give me some respect, people! I have a degree in Wymn's Studies, and those are the only conclusions a wymn can draw from this pro-patriarchy hate fest!

206 My wife can't believe I eat the stuff. She'll only eat it packed in water... Posted by: Tex Lovera at August 09, 2013 09:19 AM (wtvvX) I like Sardines packed in mustard. My wife can't even be in the house when I eat them.

207 My advice.  If you are not best friends before marriage,  don't get married. 

208 #204

Wasn't 2007 when job losses started to skyrocket? I'd very much like to know what dates they have in mind before interpreting this news.

209

Obama Backs Race Based School Discpiline Policies

http://tinyurl.com/cm63fov

 

 

210 @122

Don't leave. We need commenters who don't read the post and then make comments on it.  We have quota's to keep. Please stick around.

I'm putting up a news dump in a few minutes. You can not read that and then comment on it. It'll make you feel better.

211 The economic and social collapse attributable to modern progressivism is going to wreck these ideas as surely as it has my family business. In a depression, lots off unnecessary bullshit gets stripped away.

212 Warner's article would've been considerably shorter--and more satisfying for all involved--if Ms. O'Donnell had periodically given her man a bit more than the obligatory, unenthusiastic "marriage blowjob."

213 My advice. If you are not best friends before marriage, don't get married. Posted by: polynikes at August 09, 2013 09:33 AM (m2CN7) Yep, all the little bullshit you think will go away with time or you think you can deal with will be amplified by 100.

214 It wasn't because they needed a career, it was because inflation ate up the household income so much they had to start working.
==========

And it worked for a while, a lot of households had far more disposable income than before.

Today?

Adjusting for inflation, the two-income family makes . . . just about the same as the single income family did in 1950 and before.*

I'm seeing more and more women my age saying, "F this, I'm staying home with the kids." Good for them.

*but now we have bigger houses, more expensive cars, eat bigger meals and have smaller families.

215 I have been divorced for almost twenty years. My ex wanted a divorce and I let him have one. I was active duty USAF before and during the marriage; he was a civilian. One of his complaints: that I had too much "power" over him because of my occupation. I don't think I lorded it over him but whatever. He got married to someone else not long afterward. I've had the chance to re-marry a couple of times but they feel through. And here's a black perspective--increasingly a universal one: good black women have a hard time getting married because most of the rest of black womanhood is giving the milk away for free.

216 sips scotch while patting secretary's ass*** Don't model yourself on Filthy Filner, Jeff. ;^) Although I appreciate your enthusiasm in trying to get a rise out of people, I have a feeling you're probably not patting your secretary's ass unless you're married to your secretary.

217 You know what really hurts marriages?  Selfishness.  On either side.  If you can put your spouse and childrn before yourself consistently, you have it made.

218 I like Sardines packed in mustard. My wife can't even be in the house when I eat them.

Posted by: Oldsailors Poet at August 09, 2013 09:32 AM (XIxXP)

My dad used to take several cans of those and chop up an onion and some peppers in them, then crush the whole mess into a paste. Then he and I would sit in front of the tv watching football, drinking beer, and dipping saltines into the mess. My mother would come into the room, dry heave, and then run out of the house for the duration of our meal. Good times!

219

After 33 years of marriage and one heart attack, I mow the front lawn with a walk-behind for the exercise.  The lawn crews handle the rest.

 

 

220 "A constitutional republic is, as we've learned to our everlasting shame, too precious an institution to be the responsibility of every skylarking layabout with a pulse." -Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing I just thought that choice turn of phrase bore repeating.

221

Besides a majority of women voters vote Demorat. That rules out a lot of them right there.

 

 

Another reason the proggies want to destroy marriage: singles vote dem; marrieds are way more likely to vote conservative.  Historian David Barton said the commies from way back figured this out.

222 198 Well, Mrs P likes to work in the garden, too, which I loathe. And as I said, I'm out there in the winter freezing my left nut off while she's inside watching Battleship Yamato.

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at August 09, 2013 09:29 AM (zF6Iw)

Well that's one good thing about having to put up with mosquitoes and bugs.  Don't have to shovel that white shit, or spend an hour every morning digging my car out to go to work the way I had to do when I was living in Saratoga. 

223 They're all giving away the milk for free. I suspect.

224 The real problem is that many people in a marriage don't get that their relationship and raising their family is a lifelong TEAM effort. It takes two people and no one is going to do their job for them. Each partner has a responsibility to work their butts off and sacrifice for the cause. It's your responsibilty and no one elses to communicate your needs, your concerns and ideas to provide solutions. If you enter into marriage thinking that you're going to get something for nothing, that someone else is going to pull all of the weight, and that somehow you're going to get magically fulfilled and taken care of, you're frankly delusional. Marriage and family is about being an adult. Wherever you're childish, you're going to feel pain until you do the emotional work of maturing past that point. I don't buy the 'guys only get to work and women do whatever they want' bullsqueeze. For every man I see in that position, I see just as many women working out of the home, taking care of the kids with a guy who comes home and says 'what's for dinner'. As a society, we need to focus on the real issue which is that so many people walk into marriage thinking that it's one long big damn date. Someone has to work to pay the bills. Someone has to birth the kids and raise them...go to the store, cook dinner, ad infinitum. I read these articles and these responses and it just gives me a headache. Yeah, yeah, you've got a problem. For every person, there is a 'problem' (or a list of them). And people stand around looking at it like it's an art sculpture instead of looking at it like it's a mess. Grab a broom chuckles, sweep it up and move along to the next thing instead of standing around waiting muttering 'why doesn't someone else clean it up?' This one isn't rocket science.

225 And here's a black perspective--increasingly a universal one: good black women have a hard time getting married because most of the rest of black womanhood is giving the milk away for free. Posted by: baldilocks at August 09, 2013 09:35 AM (o4ILr) Seems good black women are marrying white men.

226 Female hypergamy, the high incidence of personality disorders in women, a culture of easy divorce and male denigration/disposability are all arguments against marriage.  Men, just don't do it. 

227

Posted by: La Mauvaise New Yorkaise at August 09, 2013 09:09 AM (WIIFY

 

I bet you have men knocking  down your door to get to you.   And then knocking  down the the door  to get out once they get to know you. 

228

I don't know if this is a great argument against marriage more than it is a great argument against marriage with the wrong woman, and how much of the percentages of "wrong" women are increasing with so-called "feminism". (I've BTDT with both.)

I'm sure too a good argument could be made as well regarding the increasing percentages of metrosexual men and how they suck at being men and husbands when they're competing for manicure appointments with thier wives instead of being....men.

229 ***sips scotch while patting secretary's ass***

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at August 09, 2013 09:31 AM (rZ0+G)

 

From the late, great Jim Croce's Workin' At the ar Wash Blues:

Well, I should be sittin'  / In an air-conditioned office / With a swivel chair /

 

Talkin'  trash to the secretary / Saying 'hey, now, momma, come on over here" /

 

Instead I'm stuck here / Rubbin'  these fenders with a rag /

 

And walkin'  home in soggy old shoes /

 

With them steadily depressin' / Low down, mind messin' /

 

Workin' at the car wash blues!

230

ugh.

The black woman was probably the most sensible, and at least her husband was interviewed--the lack of men in this article (except as some third party to the sisterhood of interviewer/viewee) no doubt skews it (from the formula intended).  But, as noted, in America black women have traditionally worked outside the home.  Because they needed to, for reasons that had ZERO to do with the whole "I am a Princess who doesn't NEED a Prince" principal.

 

The fundamental flaw with so much here is that these women--whether they are working in or outside the home, and yes by God stay at home moms are working IN THE HOME--seem to derive their self-worth from entirely external sources.  This is the biggest problem (IMO) with the whole BS "self esteem/everyone deserves a trophy/snowflake" culture.

 

Yes, the partner in the home, whether man or woman, undertakes more of the mundane responsibilities of the home:  food, clean clothes, clean dishes, etc.  THAT IS PART OF THE JOB RESPONSIBILITIES.  It doesn't DEVALUE you as a person to be the one RESPONSIBLE for this, for the FAMILY (corporation?).  It is not LESSER.

 

And what is a "good job"?  For the vast majority of both men and women in today's America, it is hours with pay, near enough that it doesn't cost too much to do it in relation to the pay, at some honest task.  That includes service, trades, etc as well as degreed white collar status occupations and careers.

 

Everything in life is choices, and NO ONE has it all ALL THE TIME.

 

Had I kept working when we had kids, I would have been primarily working to pay for gas, clothing and childcare in order to work, and the trade off wasn't worth it to us in terms of not having me there with the kids.  We had them, we wanted to raise them.

 

Did my self esteem/worth/fulfillment suffer? 

 

Nope.

 

But I did encounter a lot like some of the women in this article who approached their children and families much the same as they no doubt had their careers, and funny how much they seemed to seek to undermine not only my, but each others', worth/value/etc by treating things like preschool volunteering as cuttthroat competition and belt-notching.

 

My kids are late teens now, and are noting that they were glad they've had a two parent household with one parent home for their small years.  (My daughter this year baked a birthday cake for a coworker--first job after time in prison, single father trying to provide support to his kid, grew up in foster and institutional care after being removed from his drug-abusing single mother--because it broke her heart for this guy that he was turning 40 and had never in his life had a birthday cake.  Someone on the crew found out his birthday was coming, and asked what he was doing.  He said not much, he never had.  My daughter manages the crew--at 19--and asked if he'd like a cake that day for the crew to share and he said only if everyone didn't make a big fuss, but that it would be nice because he'd never had one before.  So they did, and he thanked everyone.  My daughter told me she couldn't imagine not having even a cupcake with a candle!  I never worried about having "seasonally appropriate" candy, though.  Unlike my MIL the sad Seven Sisters PhD who actually once told me she was having a hard time finding "appropriate refrigerator magnets" for their vacation home--in MA, where she has amassed a collection of pewter pilgrims and tasteful ceramic Cape Cod cottages on the front of the Frigidaire now.  Sometimes women thrill me--my daughter, and sometimes they drive me nuts--my MIL.)

 

Yes, EVERYONE should be able to work and support themselves.  Not everyone gets married, or has children.  Not everyone wants to.  Not everyone should.  Not everyone is able to.

 

And at a GOOD job, that allows them to be sheltered, fed, clothed, and even put something by for entertainment and definitely old age.

 

And stop fapping over the "but am I sufficiently FULFILLED by this to successfully emotionally compete with others over it?!  Sob!"

 

Sheesh.  It's all choices, beyond the basic no-choice of "if you want to live you have to eat, and to eat you have to work".

 

(rant off) 

231 I think that " 9 out 10 men think they're the center of the universe comment" is spot-on. Assuming you swap in women for men.

232 Yeah it's funny how often guys will remarry, right away after a divorce.  Opportunity I guess but why jump so soon if marriage is such a bad deal for him?

233

Posted by: baldilocks at August 09, 2013 09:35 AM (o4ILr)

My Sister just retired from the Air Force after 25 years as a full Colonel. Her husband and daughter made many sacrifices for her career. But they are a close knit family.

234 Obama Backs Race Based School Discpiline Policies Yet another reason in a list of many to homeschool or send your kids to private school.

235 Good grief, the comments over at the NY Times are just astonishing; what species are those people? It's just one asinine, unrealistic assertion after another.

236 This might have bearing on this post.  Some stuff from Richard Benjamin and his wife Paula Prentiss.  http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000907/bio

When Paula Prentiss was sick, people wondered why I didn't leave her. And when I wasn't working they wondered why she didn't leave me. People all along have tried to come between us. It took a long time to figure out that it was their problem, not ours.

[on remaining childless for the first 13 years of marriage]: Paula Prentiss was always on the pill. We didn't want children. We were too wrapped up in ourselves. We couldn't see that what we were looking for could be found in someone else. Having the baby [Ross Benjamin] made us grow up. We didn't know anything about babies. It was like waiting for opening night. The doctor told me, 'You won't want to miss this. This is one of the biggies!'

Having Ross Benjamin put things in perspective. I never used to understand why people wanted to go home right after work. Now that's where I want to be - with Ross.

237 <i>the percentages of "wrong" women are increasing with so-called "feminism".</i>

I think it's the shrinks they see who are the feminists, whose answer to every problem is Divorce or Quit Your Job or get out of whatever you're hung up in now.

238 Yeah it's funny how often guys will remarry, right away after a divorce. Opportunity I guess but why jump so soon if marriage is such a bad deal for him? Posted by: Lady Billingsgate (of the North) at August 09, 2013 09:38 AM (ObFqM) That's usually because there was some fucking goin on before the divorce.

239 opens door: peaks in.


backs out. .

240

I can prove to you that things are different still with women.

Women who are political figures - how many of them could behave like a Wiener and still be considered for office?

 

How many women could be behave, as President, like Bill Clinton and get away with it without impeachment?

 

So the rest is BS.

241 I'm sure too a good argument could be made as well regarding the increasing percentages of metrosexual men and how they suck at being men and husbands when they're competing for manicure appointments with thier wives instead of being....men.

Posted by: Crucible at August 09, 2013 09:37 AM (659DL)

Yeah, we have a guy at work, a Millennial, who is trying to figure out how to make the leap from being his wife's best buddy (sharing comic books, SciFi, action figures, movies, and music) to being her Husband and Father to the kid due in September.  He is flailing around, but, it is painful to watch a guy not raised to be man try to figure out how to get there.

242 opens door: peaks in. backs out. . Posted by: willow at August 09, 2013 09:40 AM (nqBYe) *looks for new post*

243 opens door: peaks in. backs out. . Posted by: willow at August 09, 2013 09:40 AM (nqBYe) Oh please, go stand in the kitchen with the womenfolk. The're dealing xyanax and drinking wine. You are always welcome.

244 I'm sure too a good argument could be made as well regarding the increasing percentages of metrosexual men and how they suck at being men and husbands when they're competing for manicure appointments with thier wives instead of being....men.

Posted by: Crucible at August 09, 2013 09:37 AM (659DL)

 

I agree with this but also my gender bias opinion puts that blame also on the women.    They got what they  thought they wanted.  

245 If you haven't picked up Dr. Helen's 'Men on Strike', you should do so. She lays out the grim statistics on how men are being left behind and how they're tuning out altogether.

246 Although I appreciate your enthusiasm in trying to get a rise out of people, I have a feeling you're probably not patting your secretary's ass unless you're married to your secretary. ----------------- Of course not. But if the gal with the stick up her ass insists on making misogynists of us all, what does it matter? Give em what they want. Good and hard.

247 He is flailing around, but, it is painful to watch a guy not raised to be man try to figure out how to get there. Posted by: Sherry McEvil, Stiletto Corsettes C'est Magnifique at August 09, 2013 09:41 AM (kXoT0) If he does figure it out she will find him abusive and divorce him.

248 What an excellent, insightful post! I "opted out" of the workforce (finance) in 2000 too - to focus on my family & restore the home to a "haven" vs a "battleground". It was and is the best choice -- for the sake of my teenage son, my husband and myself.

249
I agree with this but also my gender bias opinion puts that blame also on the women. They got what they thought they wanted.

Posted by: polynikes at August 09, 2013 09:43 AM (m2CN7)

I often wonder how women think they can find their "soul mate" without his being queer.

250 Thanks for the post. We have been vindicated.

251 He is flailing around, but, it is painful to watch a guy not raised to be man try to figure out how to get there.
Posted by: Sherry McEvil, Stiletto Corsettes C'est Magnifique at August 09, 2013 09:41 AM (kXoT0)


If he does figure it out she will find him abusive and divorce him.

Posted by: Oldsailors Poet at August 09, 2013 09:44 AM (XIxXP)

 

^This x1000.

252 184 Excellent post Monty. Great illustration of female psychosis: Reading on-line profiles of women that are on-line dating. The better looking they are the more insane they are. They are divorced (maybe more than once) and looking for their soul mate, as long as he makes more than $150,000/year. Heh. Best advice without knowing he was giving it from Dad : Yeah, she looks damn good. Who's tired of putting up with her shit ?

253 women have half the money and all the pussy - its just not fair

254  who is trying to figure out how to make the leap from being his wife's best buddy (sharing comic books, SciFi, action figures, movies, and music) to being her Husband and Father to the kid due in September. He is flailing around, but, it is painful to watch a guy not raised to be man try to figure out how to get there.

Posted by: Sherry McEvil, Stiletto Corsettes C'est Magnifique at August 09, 2013 09:41 AM (kXoT0)

 

Being his wife's best buddy is all he needs.  The rest will work itself out.    

255 Nood-

256 It's wonderful; to hear stories of people in Hollywood who have had long, strong marriages which is the exception rather than the rule. Thanks for providing that article, Anna Puma.

257 women have half the money and all the pussy - its just not fair

Posted by: seaniep at August 09, 2013 09:45 AM (46rS/)

 

When you look at consumer spending stats, they actually have a lot more than half the money at their disposal.

258 I didn't read the linked article but let me guess. The woman lives in Manhattan. Which is a huge problem. 90% of the women in these articles live in NYC (because the authors are too lazy to get out of the city to see how real people live) and the authors inevitably generalize the female NYC experience into the nation at large. A steady stream of magazine articles about life on a tiny island on the Hudson infects the rest of the nation with their neuroses. Culture matters.

259 news dump

260 Somebody may have already made this observation, I didn't get all the way through the comments yet.  I think the divide on this subject falls more between those with conservative mindsets and those with liberal ones than between male and female.

261 reddit.com/r/theredpill If you want to see more posts similar to this one

262 Who would want to leave this thread? This post is fascinating and truth be told I'd much rather discusss the dysfunction that is male-female relationships than the mundane pointless political battles we fight every day. This post matters. We have a fucked up electorate because we have fucked up geneder roles in this country. I wish I could elaborate - I just hate typing on my phone.

263 When you look at consumer spending stats, they actually have a lot more than half the money at their disposal. Posted by: Insomniac at August 09, 2013 09:46 AM (DrWcr) I read an interesting marketing post that said the lions share of disposable income is controlled by Tweenies, ages 11-14. That why marketers hit them so hard with a phalanx of bullshit.

264

"it is painful to watch a guy not raised to be man try to figure out how to get there."

 

(rant back on)

My son says the Y chromosome is disappearing (he's 17), and looking at the medication/pussification/stifling of boys out there, I fear for him, and love him for putting it this way!

 

The institutionalization (thanks, empowered princesses of princelessness! you ****s.) through school, social constructs, etc of making boys and natural boy-tendencies like being active, vigorous, competitive out to be something that needs to EVOLVE into a (lesser, emasculated/beaten) "more caring and supportive" being is just grotesque.

 

But Serious You Guys, he just needs to suck it up and get on the back of the bus, Because Unearned Heteronormative Privilege, and Because Shut Up.

 

AAAARRRRRGGGGGGHHHHH!

265

 it is painful to watch a guy not raised to be man try to figure out how to get there. Posted by: Sherry McEvil, Stiletto Corsettes C'est Magnifique at August 09, 2013 09:41 AM (kXoT0)

-

Who would have thought that      encouraging divorce and paying mothers to stay single would turn out so bad?  I mean, isn't it the best of all possible worlds to have no father figure, but instead a    federal    sugar daddy who sends a check each month?

266 And here's a black perspective--increasingly a universal one: good black women have a hard time getting married because most of the rest of black womanhood is giving the milk away for free.

Posted by: baldilocks at August 09, 2013 09:35 AM (o4ILr)

What's it like for you being called a racist ?

Do you just collapse into a pile of hysterical laughter, or do you try to respond between guffaws?

267 @madamemayhem "This. I am a stay at home mom and our finances suffer without a second income. Could I get a "real" job? Maybe, the job market sucks so theres that." I agree with everything you said. Isn't it funny, though, that all those things we do at home we would have to pay someone else to do if we left and went to work? People make decent livings working as maids, dry cleaners, gardeners and yard workers, personal chefs, and day care workers. Hell, if you home school (as I do) then throw in school teacher as well. But if you stay home to do those things instead of forking out for someone else to do it you're lazy according to a lot of the LIVs.

268 A guy I know,a cop and A-stan vet about 33 years old, got married in Sept of 07, the month I moved out of State. Within a year, he'd been caught by his wife making out in a car behind the bar where every single one of their friends hung out, resulting in a huge, messy scene that people still talk about. Since then he's gotten divorced, had a kid out of wedlock with the girl he was cheating with, and as of a couple months ago finally married her. All that drama could've been avoided if he wasn't so eager to marry SOMEONE, which was his main problem.

269 - Who would have thought that encouraging divorce and paying mothers to stay single would turn out so bad? I mean, isn't it the best of all possible worlds to have no father figure, but instead a federal sugar daddy who sends a check each month? Posted by: Vashta Nerada at August 09, 2013 09:49 AM (NJs1e) Just about sums it up.

270 Why buy the cow when they get to keep all your shit and you're left hip deep in the manure?

My own relationship has lasted a couple of decades without marriage because I don't care to control all of the things are that are important to her (pretty much everything) so long as I control the flamethrower between my teeth.

That and separate finances.

A couple of previous decades of serial sampling has been helpful as a reference as well.


Glad you're back Monty, You Magnificent Bastard.

271 Sherry, Consider buying and giving to your co-worker "The Book Of Man"-Readings on the path to Manhood by William Bennett if you think he wouldn't be put off by the title, It has great readings from all sorts of time periods including an entire section on "Men With women and Children."

272

Funny how the lefties  always  believe they are the keepers of the science and evolution knowledge   but then totally disregard it when it comes  to discussing the innate make up and difference between  man and woman  and the roles that nature has assigned  to each.

 

Cognitive dissonance  be  thy name.

273 Sherry McEvil:

It's not all a hate on for women. It's a hate on for misandry.

The current libtard family court system thinks it's OK to make a man into an indentured servant simply because his former wife has the seven year itch.

But this never happens to women, despite the fact that most couples these days both work, and use the government as a babysitter.

So men are starting to go on strike. Use condoms, or get a vasectomy and never marry. Let the me-first women grow old and become crazy cat ladies.

274 MandyP, I took a lot of grief for staying home with my sons-they are now all in their 20's, a great bunch and a credit to their dad and I. Was it hard! Financially and emotionally? Sometimes, but damn well worth it.

275 The current libtard family court system thinks it's OK to make a man into an indentured servant simply because his former wife has the seven year itch. Oh yeah, that may explain all of the women turning up dead. 20/20 and Dateline have made a cottage industry out of it.

276 You know that NFL commercial where the coach is going ballistic on the ref and he's just standing there, not even flinching?

And the question is, "How does he do it?"

And the next shot is of him at home, sitting on the couch, trying to watch a little TV and his wife is standing over him yelling?

Yeah.

That commercial didn't get much play for very long.

Truth hurts the feminazis too much.

277 PREACH IT MONTY!

278 opens door: peaks in.


backs out. .

 

Posted by: willow at August 09, 2013 09:40 AM (nqBYe)

 

Come back, willow!  We like your peaks!

279 Unfortunately there are a lot of men who enable unfair and negative treatment of other men. I remember when Fox was talking about Helen Reynolds book "Men on Strike" and Tucker Carlson, who almost certainly hadn't read it, dismissed it outright, saying that men should stop whining. In all likelyhood that twit was trying to earn brownie points at home.

280 > cooking every meal, cleaning, laundry, yard work, gardening, budgeting, all of that is *hard damn work.*

This.  My wife sometimes feels bad because she thinks staying home with the kids means she's not "providing" for the family.  What she does is more important than the stuff I do at work.

Yeah, about the wife in the story making $500k, I'd have stayed home with the kids and let her work if she wanted to.  The only problem with that is most guys I know who've been in that situation end up divorced too because the working wife loses all respect for stay at home dad.  The guys who stay at home and are still married are all strong manly type fellas.

281 "Enjoy the Decline" points out that one reason the single-income household worked was because the wife's job of making sure every dollar he earned was deployed in the most efficient manner--coupons, sales, budgeting, meal planning, etc.--was as important as his in earning that dollar.

282 "And here's a black perspective--increasingly a universal one: good black women have a hard time getting married because most of the rest of black womanhood is giving the milk away for free." -baldilocks I think the problem is pan-cultural.

283 What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing, you already told her twice.

284 Men don't write articles like this because they just go have a beer.

285

Biily Bob, you know the joke about the mule, right?  ("That's one.")

 

One of my dad's and my brother's favorites.

 

Mine too! 

286 I read this article yesterday when Instapundit linked to it, but quit at the point where one of the women talked about arguing with her husband about laundry. Really? Just do the laundry already. Why don't you put all that drive and energy you had working for Oracle into raising kids and making a home? Unless you think that work is really beneath you. Whatever. Anyway, that being said, I've never married (yeah, I know, what do I know about it?) and at this point probably never will, but I cringe at thinking how miserable I would have made any man I might have married in my 20s. I was really stupid back then. I also didn't have very good marriage role models in my parents, but mostly I was stupid.

287 You know that "study" about how stay-at-home moms ought to be paid some $100k per year?

You know, shit like, nanny, chauffeur, maid, cook, etc?

Then somebody snarked "My dog is worth $80k per year." Night watchman, stress therapist, exterminator, etc.

But, where's the study for men? Landscaper, plumber, electrician, painter, small engine repair, mechanic, etc., in addition to his regular job AND helping the wife out with the other domestic chores?

288 #239

That puts me in mind of a Norm Crosby line, talking about his divorce.

It went something like: "We should have split up a long time ago but we told ourselves we were staying together for the children. Who were the children? Well, we were."

289 "Able-bodied men who don't do it are contemptible."


I think that this is the rub and the problem that so many people have with Feminists in the work wars.  Society at large, and women in particular treat men who are not working or not able to support themselves largely as beneath notice or mention.  At the same time, women in the same predicament are not ostracized or denied access to society in the same way.  Men, in the tradition of Cortez coming to the New World "burn their ships (or, actually, have their ships burnt for them)" providing motivation in a way that women just don't. 

For men not in the underclass, career failure essentially means prohibited access to women, social life, etc. in a way that it simply doesn't for women.

290 "261 I didn't read the linked article but let me guess. The woman lives in Manhattan.

Which is a huge problem. 90% of the women in these articles live in NYC (because the authors are too lazy to get out of the city to see how real people live) and the authors inevitably generalize the female NYC experience into the nation at large. A steady stream of magazine articles about life on a tiny island on the Hudson infects the rest of the nation with their neuroses.

Culture matters.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at August 09, 2013 09:46 AM (MBqvE)"

To put things in a bit of perspective, Manhattan is smaller than the Dallas-Fort Worth Airport. 

291 I highly recommend the (now largely forgotten) 1975 bestseller by Esther Vilar, The Manipulated Man. 

It's an amazing anti-feminist tract that lays out everything wrong with feminism, as it was reaching its zenith.  Her essential thesis is that women are not oppressed, but are, in fact, in charge of men, who work harder, for less reward, and have fewer choices, than women.

There's also an awesome YouTube video of Vilar's interview with feminist "reporter" harridan Alice Schwarzer, in German (with English subtitles, für Leute, die nicht gut Deutsch sprechen).

Every point made by Vilar is like a fire hose blast to the face.  And I mean that in the best way possible.

292 Another trick for guys if you can handle it, is letting them rant in anger while handling it with patience.

I always (eventually) get unsolicited, sincere apologies.

Especially with her knowing that I'm always capable of blowing  Cat 5, but NEVER do.

293 Oops, it looks like The Manipulated Man was written in 1971.  Even more prescient, then.

294 "It's never because the woman is a chronic depressive, or sexually unavailable, or emotionally distant, or a shrew." So, Monty, how long have you known my wife?

295 I have found that "I guess you should have thought things through a little more thoroughly before you spent a year fucking that other guy" as a response whenever my second ex-wife/whore starts whining about the sad difficulties of life now that we are divorced. Ha ha ha ha! Sorry, "Honey".

296 So, how long before gays start lamenting the marriages they demanded? Heh. I wonder how many long-standing gay partnerships will come to an end because one partner demands marriage, and the other is just not interested?

297 And here's a black perspective--increasingly a universal one: good black women have a hard time getting married because most of the rest of black womanhood is giving the milk away for free. Posted by: baldilocks at August 09, 2013 09:35 AM (o4ILr) I'm not sure that's just a 'black' issue baldilocks. That's a female cultural issue, and I'm trying to raise a wise daughter right in the middle of it. For what it's worth, and despite all you read here, not all men are about that. There are men that actually find such behavior rightfully abhorrent. After all, what man wants his daughter or mother or sister acting in such a way? No 'man' that I know. This is the claim not of patriarchy (a la Islam), but of caring, thoughtful, selfless love. To such men, a woman like you is a prize and a gift. My wife of 18 years is all that and more to me. May God bless you and may this man find you soon.

298

"The 22 women I interviewed, for the most part, told me that the perils of leaving the work force were counterbalanced by the pleasures of being able to experience motherhood on their own terms."

So, basically the preponderance of the women were still GLAD they made the decision they did and therefore the title of the piece, " The Opt-out Generation Wants Back In" is a bunch of hooey - or to put it another way - the author set out to write her own conclusion (women regreted the decision to be a stay home moms) and only found three whiners in the bunch and decided to focus on them anyway, in spite of the evidence to the contrary. TYPICAL NYT's BS.

299

 Monty, I want you to write more.

I thought your DOOM stuff was good, but the last two days have shown that your skill with words extends beyond pithy statements about people trying to paper over reality and math. You have a keen intellect that I would like to see more of here.

I AGREE!!

 

300 >>>There's also an awesome YouTube video of Vilar's interview with feminist "reporter" harridan Alice Schwarzer Vielen dank! Of course, you can tell instantly and without the subtitles which chick is the femifascist and which one is the woman.

301 189 don't really care about marriage myself. the reason i personally havent tied the knot is because i'm far too picky. This. And every time I've lowered my standards, I've gotten sucker punched for it. And the book of Proverbs speaks to this (21:9): It is better to sit on the corner of the roof than to dwell with a contentious woman. There is exactly one way to fight a woman. Your hat. Grab it and run.

302 Some women can't be made happy. Therein lies the rub. Lack of emotional responsibility and accountability. If someone can't make themselves happy, no one else can. It took me too long (including one marriage) to figure out that any woman that suffered from this needed dropping like a hot rock.

303 Dude, you're going to get feminists ALL up in your grille.

304 I married to one of those "opt-out" types. Mrs. MMW chose to stay home with the kids and devote herself entirely to the family and volunteer work. It helps that I can support that It also helped when I did the math and figured her actual take home pay after childcare expenses, taxes (she effectively paid our top rate), and other work expenses. Her excellent job (enough alone to put us well above the median nationally) just didn't, in reality, pay that much. I figure we'd have the house paid off by now if she worked. Vacations would be more frequent. Our cars would be nicer. BUT. The kids would have to go to after school care. Their school would be worse off without Mrs. MMW's continued efforts. She would be even more exhausted and frazzled than she is now. It's all trade offs...you can't get something for nothing. Couples need to go into these decisions with eyes wide open and have expectations laid out up front. It won't work otherwise. Men need to understand a mom is still very busy and she'll never be June Cleaver or Donna Reed. You're still going to need to do a bit of the cooking and wash a few dishes. Women need to get over the fact that volunteer work isn't about empowering the volunteer it about helping people. It's a worthy calling and they should be thankful they have that opportunity (since it carries the ability to say "no") and not resentful that they can't have managerial work with advancement opportunity part time. Sheesh.

305 I was married twice. The first was a bonafide sociopathic liar.  The second, sweet but selfish as hell and hated my kids.

Single now for years. Would like to find an emotionally WARM woman. Not any.

306 That's usually because there was some fucking goin on before the divorce. Posted by: Oldsailors Poet at August 09, 2013 09:40 AM (XIxXP) Judging by the age of my ex husband's eldest, that's what the issue was--no pun intended. Good riddance. Right now, I'm friends--and not the benefits kind--with a gentleman. Working class sort and one of the kindest and smartest guys I've ever met. Adore the guy and I know we will remain friends for life regardless of any other developments. Friendship is like baking a cake. Sex is the icing. You don't put the icing on before the cake is fully baked. Or if it's a cake not meant to have icing.

307 Inthe documentary, "Agenda: The Grinding Down of America," the producer said that the Wymyns' Movement was yet another creation of the Gramsci/Alinsky school of thought. It was just another grievance group. He said Betty Friedan never came up with the tripe she spewed, she was just a good soldier who did what she was told and convinced a whole generation of wymyns that they were missing out on something. Posted by: RushBabe at August 09, 2013 09:31 AM (idNGj) Not the least bit surprised.

308 >>>And here's a black perspective--increasingly a universal one: good black women have a hard time getting married because most of the rest of black womanhood is giving the milk away for free.
Posted by: baldilocks at August 09, 2013 09:35 AM (o4ILr)


Yeah, not just black women. That's something that repels me about the last two or three waves of all young women that are coming up. They've been schooled by pop culture that they need to get out and get dicked as much as possible, then when they're ready, about 35 and nearing their last child bearing years, they can settle down and become good girls and snag a great husband. OK . . .

For guys it's great, unless they want to marry someone who hasn't been laid by 200 other guys before.

Listen to me talk.  Wendy Davis is going to attack my nutsack for my anti-feminist paternalistic outlook.

309 About the black perspective, I did SAY that it was increasingly universal, that is, not just black.

310 What's it like for you being called a racist ? Do you just collapse into a pile of hysterical laughter, or do you try to respond between guffaws? Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at August 09, 2013 09:49 AM (gqgiP) Heh. A little bit of both.

311 Did baldilocks just call me a racist?

OK. Fine. Racist.

312 " Hell look at most "family" tv shows and commercials. Husband is a bumbling idiot and the wife is the ey-rolling sage."

Look up "Gibson Girl".  Life's a mess, and people will pay big bucks and read 9.000 word crappy essays for the pleasure of knowing that other human beings are in even worse straits.

313 Friendship is like baking a cake. Sex is the icing. You don't put the icing on before the cake is fully baked. Or if it's a cake not meant to have icing.

What about cakes that have icing baked into the inside, like a Twinkie or a Ding Dong? 

314 My husband and I are both fairly successful at what we do; I run two businesses, he's a supervisor at a military contractor. It's not women working or making more money than the man, or having more status that is the issue...it's our modern sick society telling them that they have to be "empowered" and "in control" of everything and that everything must be their way because they are a special snowflake who DESERVE everything.

We don't have these modern issues with conflict or power struggles at home. At all. How'd we manage it?

We're in a 24/7 bdsm M/s relationship. He's the boss at home. He knows I'm smarter than he is--honestly, I am--so he listens to my opinions, takes them into account, but HE DECIDES. End of story. To outsiders, we look like any 1950s couple with the man in charge. It's the most liberating, smoothly-running, EASY relationship.

He is a very, very happy man. I'm happy as a clam, too.

315

Apologies if this has already been covered (typical moron not reading all comments before posting). The other factor in today's marriage dynamics is the insane divorce laws that stack the deck against men. You could have your wife on tape screwing half the neighborhood and she would still most likely end up with the house, kids and, a significant portion of your future earnings (Child support. Never mind that it is more often than not spent on something other than the children). It just doesn't pay for a young man to get married anymore. Most women know that they hold all the cards and therefore have no incentive to behave. They know that if the marriage goes south, they will get most everything. My advice to a young man that has his mind set on marriage: DON'T DO IT!! Instead, just find a woman you really fucking hate and buy her a house. Skip all the years of agony between the wedding and the divorce.

Just my not so humble opinion. Your mileage may vary. Offer not valid in all states. Void where prohibited. See website for official rules.

316 #47 Re: the bounty, that there is funny.

317

I once wrote a blog about those same women because of Eve Ensler and Jane Fonda talking about making the word c*nt "pretty" again. It was all about how feminists screamed they could do it better than men, have all the sex and money they wanted and be single...like gorillas pounding on their chests.

The only time** I** ever regretted not being in the workforce for 17 years is when my husband lost his job and I could not get a job to help support us. It was a tough road. I understood what his role was, and sometimes I did feel underappreciated.

That being said, Monty knocks it out of the park with the sacrifices made by men. There were the perks, but my guy at least would rather have been at all the soccer games, etc...It was hard, and we did what we had to do to be successful and live the life we wanted for us and our kids. The necessity of it all escapes the feminists who believe they MUST do it on their own-and at the same time smack down their female counterparts who stay home and work through all those rough spots. It constitutes work and commitment to others and not the self.
I do not need self-actualization. I am a wife, mother, friend, volunteer. I willingly chose my lot. Traditional values need to make a comeback. Period.

318 I went through two bad relationship before I learned this wisdom: if you're a man dating a woman who hates her father, or a woman dating a man who hates his mother, run like hell.

319 Oldsailors Poet, I see you already got the promise of a dead tree edition, but it's worth noting that if you have a PC or Mac you can download a Kindle reader program free from Amazon. (I bought The Director's Cut some time ago -- haven't read it yet though.)

320 #111 "And you'd vote for him a third time too, you fucking manwich!" Dang, this thread is a combination of thoughtful reflection and comedy gold.

321 This is all brilliant. All of it. Monty, you nailed it. //89 I had a career that I walked away from after the birth of our first child. Had the second baby and stayed at home until he entered first grade. I worked part time at their private school so I could be on the same schedule and be available. My husband worked from can to can't so that *I* could do what I wanted to do. Now the kids are grown and stable. My husband has had a fantastic career. I work part-time for fun. My husband was the rock that made the plan work. I am eternally grateful that he saw us as a team. *Our*money, *Our* home, *Our* children. Women are such selfish twits these days. Their *feelings* are sacrosanct. I have got news for them....Feelings change. Weekly. Maybe even daily. Grow up and deal with it. Life has tradeoffs.// + a million and YES to this. I'm in the middle of it (SAHM, 3 kids, youngest is 2 yrs old) and yes, sometimes it sucks donkey balls. Kinda like life. It took me a while to really get it through my thick skull that you can't put a price on what a person is worth -- I wasn't raking in the dough anymore, but that didn't actually change my value to the human race in the slightest. There is just so much out there -- even in the churches -- that says that it's all about MEEEE and I work SO hard being at home and with kids and all that I DESERVE whatever selfish thing I've thought of that I want to do. There's an element of truth, which is that many women aren't going to be completely and utterly joyous in a life that solely consists of diapers, meatloaf, and swiffering. But for cryin' out loud, that's what the Morons are for! And Neil Stephenson books, and any of the hundreds of hobbies/part time work out there. If a woman is disciplined to be a good manager of her time, she will find that she does have room in her life to sing in extremely challenging choirs, or be in a band, or learn to shoot, or grow a bunch of great vegetable gardens, or repair an iMac (all of which I've done in the past couple of years). And having a little room in my life for something fun, and spending the rest of it helping 3 small people and 1 large hairy person become the amazing folks God put them here to be, supporting them and loving them and making a HOME for them to walk into and breathe a sigh of relief -- well I think that's just the cat's meow. Also married people have more and better sex. Just sayin'.

322 89 Ette in training Hey 'Ette, you made my day. Yeah, I'm occasionally one of the selfish twits thinking about her feelings too much. I needed someone to slap me up the head with this today: Women are such selfish twits these days. Their *feelings* are sacrosanct. I have got news for them....Feelings change. Weekly. Maybe even daily. Grow up and deal with it. Life has tradeoffs. Now I'm gonna go wash some cloth diapers. It won't be fulfilling and THAT'S OK.

323 #319.  Absolutely right.

Guys:  Don't get married.  Period.  Odds are better than 50/50 that you will get divorced, 2 to 1 that she will be the one filing the divorce and nearly 100% that you will get royally screwed in divorce court.

The deck is totally stacked against you.  Don't play.

324 For men not in the underclass, career failure essentially means prohibited access to women, social life, etc. in a way that it simply doesn't for women.
*
*
Yes.  A pretty woman from the lowest trailer park in Arkansas can always marry up.  Women have always had the option, provided they had the equipment and used it with a little skill, of moving into the upper classes that way.

Not many men can manage the same trick.  John Kerry, maybe, and a few others.  But most men?  Pffft.

325 Monty, Brilliant commentary, kudos. Agree with #2: Moar!

326 #327 Is it a cool breeze because you don't have anyone to keep you warm at night, baby? Didn't you read what I said at the end of my really long post? MORE AND BETTER SEX. For real, y'all. So, what you do to stack the odds in your favor, is before you get married, you make sure the prospective wife sees things the way you do: marriage is work, it's for life, the rewards are awesome but they DO NOT MAGICALLY APPEAR, and it's for life. Did I mention it's for life? Strike divorce from your vocabulary. I have personally seen marriages ravaged by multiple adulteries recover and become even stronger. It's all worth it. For the more and better sex.

327 A tip of the hat. Nice work Monty.

328 327 and 319-I remain married because I love my kids but wish I had followed that advice.  I was unemployed for  a three month stretch during my lovely marriage and, as if life wasn't bad enough in the outside world, my non-working wife just loved to stick the shiv in at home.  She really doesn't realize that I will never forgive her for the things she said about me during that period. 

329 Would love to chat but I gotta get done here at work quickly, grab a bite and off to home. I promised my son a special outing today and both him and the Mrs are holding me too it. Besides she needs a break. These women are whiners, pure and simple. But this is the NYT and they live in NYC.

330 111 OT from Politico "Matt Damon: Obama 'broke up with me' " ~~~~~~ Have to comment: Then get your tongue out of his mouth.

331

It's funny, I read articles like this and just think, WTF?  News flash - life is not perfect for anyone unless you were born into fabulous wealth. 

 

I'm one of those highly educated upper-middle-class women who has made some choices and had others made for me.  I've been through so much bullshit in my married life, way more than any of the women in this article - getting jobs, losing jobs, clinical depression, sexual harrassment, husband unemployed, husband going back to law school, two cross-country moves, horrible pregnancies, being a stay-at-home mom, going back to work, 100-mile-a-day commute, and on and on.  If I wrote an article like this about my life people would either think I am certifiably insane or a saint, and the same for my husband.  I am neither, just a woman who married a man she really loved and still does, and somehow made it work, and did a pretty decent job raising two kids.  I'm not always happy - with him, with my job, with my kids, with life in general - but I was not raised to expect that.   Most of the time I am having a ball.  It's been a grand adventure, and I'm not done with it yet!

 

332 That was a damn fine read, Monty.

333

Posted by: ejo at August 09, 2013 12:27 PM (GXvSO)

 

Wow, that is too bad.  I supported my husband through several periods of unemployment, and he did with me.  It seems that in 30 years of marriage, we've both been employed at the same time for a total of about 4 years.  If we didn't know how to handle the other one being out of work we would have killed each other by now.  I'm sorry your wife did not support you. 

334 I believe society benefits from more people getting married and having families the right way, but I can completely understand men opting out of marriage.  The divorce industry has made it so bad, men are literally blowing their brains out. 

There's no question less people getting married means more liberals.   I can almost guarantee you my wife would be a liberal Democrat if she was single.

335 The boomer women who tried to have it all found that they could, if they didn't mind staying up until three AM, to finish it all. I grew up watching that, and the fact that they really liked reminding their kids that they didn't have time for them because work was more important. Having a job raised their own status in their eyes, which is fine; but how petty in fact, to need to put down your family to boost yourself up. Men who use work to hide from their families are no better. I stay home because I don't want to stay up till three AM if I can help it. Also, because being stressed out makes me sick. So my life is half-stress instead of all-stress.

336 As Steve Martin said in "Parenthood" -" Women have choices, men have responsibilities". Posted by: txoilboy at August 09, 2013 09:20 AM (Z2OIC) ---- Love that movie, and that line was a real paradigm shift for me. I already appreciated my husband, but that brought it into focus and made me appreciate him even more.

337 Monty, Nailed it. Nice work.

338

@325...I do feel sorry for the chicklets who don't have as much "more and better sex than" "we" do!!! Amen!

@335...Indeed. It HAS been a grand adventure and I hope to keep it going for as long as we live. 27 years and counting.

339 My wife said the good thing about marrying a Christian was that she could treat me any way she wanted, and I couldn't leave her.

340 Monty should get a raise.

341 Women overwhelmingly supported Barky for Prez. Proof.

342 'As good as it gets", had a great line about thinking like a woman. Think like a man and remove logic, and responsibility.

343 For those of you lucky to have a great marriage and kids the lesson here is to help both your boys and girls think about marriage as a mutual sacrifice so both can be happy. The only way long term to avoid doom.

344 Repeal the 19th Amendment.

345 The political aspect of this article is that a sizable number of women would rather be married to the government than to men.  They vote accordingly and we all suffer the consequences, including them.

346 198. Don't tell her Shiro dies. Every time.

347 People don't understand the fundamental difference between a job and a vocation. They end up treating their home like a job and their workplace like a marriage. Second, people don't understand that much of daily life consists of sacrifice and suffering. They always are looking for a better deal, they trade up, and then they blame others when they discover, surprise, life is still a restless, painful, and tiring ordeal.

348

"wife is still a restless, painful, and tiring ordeal."

 

Fixed it.

349 Old Sailors Poet:

Nice strawman there ... I must be wrong because ... battered women!

Perhaps you could call me a racist while you are at it?

350 "346 'As good as it gets", had a great line about thinking like a woman. Think like a man and remove logic, and responsibility. " Movie quote OCD is kicking in. It's "take away reason and accountability."

351 This article had something to do with blue collar people?

352

Monty,

This thread is long dead and you may not ever read this. If you do read it, then know that I thank you for having said what you did. The black woman's husband nailed it when he said "there has to be something more than just going to work for 50 years and then dying." However, that's what men do for all the reasons you stated. You're probably familiar with Kipling's "The Sons of Martha." If not, read it.

Bottom line of this story, as with 90+% of the women's movement: women have rights, men have responsibilities. End of story.

353 I'd like to tack on my comment (meant to do it some time ago). After reading Monty's post and the NYT article, I sat down with my husband and shared the highlights and wisdom, but mainly to tell him my first priority is him/our marriage, not children and career. Loved the earlier post re: Eve's first words to Adam. Something to warn me off of nitpicking and to remind me of all the things I have to be grateful about.