Ace of Spades HQ

September 30, 2013

Open Thread: Let Obama Put His Partisan Droning in You
— Ace

He's got a press conference scheduled for 4:40 PM, or, as Obama calls it, "Five-ish."

Live Feed here, at Fox. But I think it might be the White House's feed.

Posted by: Ace at 12:39 PM | Comments (371)
Post contains 50 words, total size 1 kb.

1 Golf is a 7 hour sport, so he may be a bit late.

Posted by: © Sponge at September 30, 2013 12:40 PM (xmcEQ)

2 Prepare to receive my flaccid penis.

Posted by: JackStraw at September 30, 2013 12:41 PM (g1DWB)

3 zzzzZZZZzzzzz

Posted by: toby928Â© powernaps at September 30, 2013 12:41 PM (evdj2)

4 *quickly sets DVR so I don't miss a single gem

Posted by: wiserbud at September 30, 2013 12:41 PM (NXg/k)

5
So this is the nap thread?

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at September 30, 2013 12:41 PM (TIIx5)

6 Poll on how late he"ll be?

Posted by: hello, it's me also a creep-assed cracka.. at September 30, 2013 12:42 PM (9+ccr)

7 And the straw man body count will continue...

Posted by: DaveinNC at September 30, 2013 12:42 PM (boNGU)

8 Obamacare can never be allowed to go into effect all congress should do at this time is offer stand alone bills that fund everything but obamacare. If the donks/president balk then it is they who will be holding the country hostage.

Posted by: kreplach at September 30, 2013 12:43 PM (IyKYr)

9 Just inevitably noticing the sidebar - we really need a top top ten list to cheer us up. Like maybe top ten home surgeries or top ten ways to find a black market medical clinic.

Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith's Other Mobile[/i][/b][/s][/u] at September 30, 2013 12:43 PM (qyfb5)

10 I'll paraphrase: "My fellow Americans. I'm here today to discuss the fact that the Republican party has decided to murder your women, children and grandparents for political reasons instead of following my demands and allowing the full takeover of everything financial. Therefore you must bow to me, go to your local rep office and demand they cower in fear and obey my command."

Posted by: © Sponge at September 30, 2013 12:43 PM (xmcEQ)

I shudder with nausea at the thought of having to listen to him on the radio news on the drive home.

Posted by: Steve in Greensboro at September 30, 2013 12:43 PM (sugnf)

Is this where he declares a National Emergency, and says he will suspend the 'Do Nothing' Congress?

And funds the Government with Non Real Money from the Fed Res Bank?

Posted by: Romeo13 at September 30, 2013 12:43 PM (lZBBB)

13 Speaking of partisan drones, hypocritical plagiarist vandal/useful idiot doesn't like them.
http://is.gd/sFArnd

Posted by: HeatherRadish™ needs a beer at September 30, 2013 12:43 PM (/kI1Q)

14 Thank you for your service, Ace.

Posted by: Waterhouse at September 30, 2013 12:44 PM (YVx8A)

15 Shut it down! Show everyone how useless the federal government really is. Oh noes. No national weather service, epa, nlrb or park rangers.

Posted by: superflex at September 30, 2013 12:44 PM (4a/4i)

16 I just found out the NHL now has a Metropolitan Division. I vaguely want to be angry about this, but don't know why.

Posted by: Flatbush Joe at September 30, 2013 12:45 PM (ZPrif)

17 Did we ever find out what deal the Unions cut with Obama at their meeting? I have not heard anything since out of the Union bosses. I assume Obama promised them something in return for their silence.

Posted by: polynikes at September 30, 2013 12:45 PM (m2CN7)

Posted by: kreplach at September 30, 2013 04:43 PM (IyKYr)

Uh.... those would be the Appropriations Bills.... 7 of which never passed the House, and 4 of which are sitting waiting for the Senate to vote on.

The only reason this is a problem at all, is that Congress once more did NOT do their Job.

Posted by: Romeo13 at September 30, 2013 12:45 PM (lZBBB)

19 I'll be at the gun shop by 5:00 picking up my Sig M400 Enhanced.

Posted by: superflex at September 30, 2013 12:45 PM (4a/4i)

20 Just inevitably noticing the sidebar - we really need a top top ten list to cheer us up. Like maybe top ten home surgeries or top ten ways to find a black market medical clinic. Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith's Other Mobile at September 30, 2013 04:43 PM (qyfb5) I'm starting to think American Mary may be a how to manual.

Posted by: alexthechick - Bring the SMOD at September 30, 2013 12:45 PM (VtjlW)

21 If the shutdown saves just one guitar company...

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit at September 30, 2013 12:46 PM (0HooB)

22 repost: Anyone else read this Drudge link: http://www.dnainfo.com/new-york/20130930/ financial-district/police-looking-for-two- people-who-parachuted-into-lower-manhattan "MANHATTAN Â— Two people wearing black suits and black helmets parachuted into Lower Manhattan near the World Trade Center early Monday, Police Commissioner Raymond Kelly said. The incident happened about 3:07 a.m...." Of course the "reporting" in this story has basically zero information in it. Is it just me or does this alll sound a tad unusual? Anyone?

Posted by: Melvin Frohike at September 30, 2013 12:46 PM (sYLzD)

23 >>12 Is this where he declares a National Emergency, and says he will suspend the 'Do Nothing' Congress? And funds the Government with Non Real Money from the Fed Res Bank? Posted by: Romeo13 at September 30, 2013 04:43 PM (lZBBB) Honestly? This would not surprise me in the least. You know the entire MFM would have paryoxms of joy over it as well.

Posted by: nnptcgrad at September 30, 2013 12:46 PM (Opyrm)

24 Great, he's gonna be all keyed up about this tonight.

Posted by: Reggie Love at September 30, 2013 12:46 PM (Ezq3m)

25 @12 He could threaten to direct the fed to mint a trillion dollar coin. He wipes his ass with the constitution and congress lets him so what does it matter anyway

Posted by: kreplach at September 30, 2013 12:46 PM (IyKYr)

26 This is the presser I've waited the longest and most anxiously to Not Watch. Gotta watch the last episode of breaking bad when I get home.

Posted by: HoboJerky, now with 56% more DOOM! at September 30, 2013 12:47 PM (09o/X)

27 Did we ever find out what deal the Unions cut with Obama at their meeting? I have not heard anything since out of the Union bosses. I assume Obama promised them something in return for their silence. Posted by: polynikes at September 30, 2013 04:45 PM (m2CN7) I heard his last words to them were, "trust me."

Posted by: © Sponge at September 30, 2013 12:47 PM (xmcEQ)

Top Ten Home Surgeries:

10. Yes you can give yourself a vasectomy.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit at September 30, 2013 12:47 PM (0HooB)

29 This isn't just the nap thread. It's the graded lab on how to nap. You'll be evaluated on time to REM, snore levels and your memory of the dreams you had while watching this shit.

Posted by: boulder toilet hobo at September 30, 2013 12:47 PM (mS4db)

30 Not there yet?

Posted by: hello, it's me also a creep-assed cracka.. at September 30, 2013 12:47 PM (9+ccr)

31 Obama and his family have vacationed more in foreign parks and sites than they have at any our our National parks and landmarks.

Posted by: polynikes at September 30, 2013 12:47 PM (m2CN7)

32 Barack Obama is a stuttering clusterf*ck of a malignant traitor.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) MFM Delenda Est at September 30, 2013 12:47 PM (/PCJa)

33 I'd rather let Barney Frank jab a red hot poker up my ass than listen to Zero. Or a red hot gerbil.

Posted by: Damn Sockpuppet at September 30, 2013 12:47 PM (YmPwQ)

My biggest problem with a government shutdown:

I am almost positive the conservatives can't win due to a combination of lack of skill in framing/messaging and the fact that most are too scared to see it through.

If we learned anything about the mess with Syria it was don't make threats you have no intention of ever following through on.

Posted by: Jollyroger at September 30, 2013 12:48 PM (t06LC)

35 Burn it down. Scatter the stones. Salt the earth where it stood.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) MFM Delenda Est at September 30, 2013 12:48 PM (/PCJa)

36 Then there is this: http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2013/ sep/29/marine-corps-whistleblower-faces-vengeance-from-su/?page=1 "Â“These steps are all designed for a single purpose and that is to undermine the credibility of Maj. Weirick, the credibility of his complaints to the [Defense Department inspector general] and to push him very close to the very edge of being able to drum him out of the Marine Corps,Â” Col. Siegel said. Â“IÂ’ve been practicing military justice exclusively for 40 years, 25 of which were in the Marine Corps, and I have never seen anything quite this destructive carried out by people who I considered to be heroes, the commandant of the Marine Corps.Â” Seizing his computer is a way to find out what he has been telling the inspector general during its investigation, she said." ----------- That and the SAC 2nd in command relieved due to some gambling related whatever the other day. Lots of coincidences it seems. Just sayin.

Posted by: Melvin Frohike at September 30, 2013 12:48 PM (sYLzD)

37 Also the Eastern Conference has swallowed Ohio and Michigan.

Posted by: Flatbush Joe at September 30, 2013 12:48 PM (ZPrif)

Posted by: kreplach at September 30, 2013 04:46 PM (IyKYr)

Uhhhh... this is NOT a debt problem... that is still to come... this is a Continuing resolution because Congress did not pass the Appropriations bills to fund the Government at all...

Posted by: Romeo13 at September 30, 2013 12:48 PM (lZBBB)

39 Poll on how late he"ll be? I think the over/under is 15 minutes. I'll take the over.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) MFM Delenda Est at September 30, 2013 12:48 PM (/PCJa)

40 Obama and his family have vacationed more in foreign parks and sites than they have at any our our National parks and landmarks. Posted by: polynikes at September 30, 2013 04:47 PM (m2CN7) They hate America. Why would they want to see it and support it's economy?

Posted by: © Sponge at September 30, 2013 12:48 PM (xmcEQ)

41 MSM paroxyms of joy? There's an image. I'll get the mop

Posted by: boulder toilet hobo at September 30, 2013 12:48 PM (mS4db)

42 I can not listen to this over the top weasel dripping douche nozzle. He can negotiate with the fucking Muslim brotherhood but not john Boener. Fuck him & the camel he rode in on

Posted by: Misanthropic humanitarian, now with 50% more sensitivity at September 30, 2013 12:48 PM (HVff2)

43 Aside from doling out unmerited welfare benefits and crony porkbarrel payoffs, what the hell does the federal government even do, anyway? Military -- Already funded separately by the house. No problem there. IRS -- I hate them, good to see them out of work. National Parks and so forth -- Give Gaia a few months' rest from the trampling of human shoes; good idea! Do-nothing bureaucrats in their offices - Fuck you. Permanent layoffs for you. Do-something bureaucrats -- These guys scare me the most. The more they "do," the more they ruin. Shut 'em down. All in all, the shutdown sounds like a winning proposition to me.

Posted by: zombie at September 30, 2013 12:49 PM (+cx5n)

44 Posted by: Melvin Frohike at September 30, 2013 04:46 PM (sYLzD) Would that the "Men In Black" had come to take Obama away with a brief stop in NYC to pick up Bill DeBlasio.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at September 30, 2013 12:49 PM (a4Omg)

45 I am going to replay Sen Cruz reading "Green Eggs and Ham" during O'Barky's teleprompter extravaganza, but that's only because I like to hear good common sense coming from an elected official!

Posted by: Hrothgar at September 30, 2013 12:49 PM (XdnQT)

46 @18 Its time they fixed the glitch. We have been enduring the last 5 years without a budget now is the last stand. This is the hill to die on.

Posted by: kreplach at September 30, 2013 12:49 PM (IyKYr)

47 All in all, the shutdown sounds like a winning proposition to me. Posted by: zombie at September 30, 2013 04:49 PM (+cx5n) I like your thinking!

Posted by: hello, it's me also a creep-assed cracka.. at September 30, 2013 12:49 PM (9+ccr)

48 If we learned anything about the mess with Syria it was don't make threats you have no intention of ever following through on. Posted by: Jollyroger at September 30, 2013 04:48 PM (t06LC) We lived through sequestration, which was supposed to basically destroy all of civilized life. We can live through this too. I kind of hope there's no end in sight.

Posted by: HoboJerky, now with 56% more DOOM! at September 30, 2013 12:49 PM (09o/X)

49 "Let me clear...as I've said before...now, some people say....[snide remark about Republicans]..."

Think I'll pass on this one. They're a re-runs of lies and fluff.

Posted by: Lizzy at September 30, 2013 12:50 PM (vvueH)

50 Arsonists are scum-sucking dogs.

Posted by: Flatbush Joe at September 30, 2013 12:50 PM (ZPrif)

51 Drinking game Every time he says children drink a shot

Posted by: Navycopjoe at September 30, 2013 12:51 PM (frroL)

You Lie !

Posted by: The Jackhole at September 30, 2013 12:51 PM (nTgAI)

53 @49: He wouldn't need to repeat himself if the damned Republicans would just let the poor man be clear.

Posted by: Ian S. at September 30, 2013 12:51 PM (B/VB5)

54 Top ten benefits of Obamacare (in no particular order): Raising awareness of alternative medicine Boom for sellers of field surgery kits Spreading the wealth of patients to third-world countries as doctors all move to where they can afford to practice. Hundreds of thousands of public employees will have something to keep them busy until the money finally runs out. Second look at the barter system People will finally be able to stick it to The Man (the man being in this case everyone but The Man) More office space will be opening up in the suburbs More medical equipment will be available on eBay The opportunity arises to spend the medicare budget a third time, possibly setting a wold record No one will be able to mock Americans for their "perfect teeth" anymore

Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith's Other Mobile[/i][/b][/s][/u] at September 30, 2013 12:51 PM (qyfb5)

55 Sorry to spoil it for you guys, but Obama will blame Republicans and mention the tea party or extremists in some way.

Posted by: Spoily McSpoilerson at September 30, 2013 12:51 PM (8719b)

56 No, I don't want ANYTHING of Obama in me.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at September 30, 2013 12:51 PM (a4Omg)

57 Anyone thinking about calling up a "navigator" tomorrow or in the future and just to talk about whatever is on your mind.

Posted by: Serious Cat at September 30, 2013 12:51 PM (UypUQ)

Oh look...something else to ignore.

Posted by: Mikey NTH - Outrage Outlet - Get Your supplies for Opening Day of RINO Season here! at September 30, 2013 12:51 PM (hLRSq)

59 Don't shut anything down. The public will hate us. If only Mike Castle were here.

Posted by: Shy-Town Holowhead at September 30, 2013 12:51 PM (YmPwQ)

60 *?*

Posted by: Serious Cat at September 30, 2013 12:51 PM (UypUQ)

Top Ten Home Surgeries:

9. Appendectomy.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit at September 30, 2013 12:51 PM (0HooB)

62 Every time he says children drink a shot Oh. I thought you said something else there...

Posted by: Harry Reid at September 30, 2013 12:51 PM (/PCJa)

63 The question should not be how to avoid a government shutdown, but rather how to make it permanent.

Posted by: zombie at September 30, 2013 12:51 PM (+cx5n)

64 What's the over/under on how many days this goes in for? Who will be the 'hero' who steps up to 'bravely' defy his party and craft a compromise?

Posted by: Bevel Lemelisk at September 30, 2013 12:52 PM (Ezq3m)

65 two- people-who-parachuted-into-lower-manhattan

BASE jumpers?

Posted by: SpongeBobSaget[/i] at September 30, 2013 12:52 PM (epxV4)

66 Poll on how late he"ll be?

I think the over/under is 15 minutes.

I'll take the over.

Well over.

Posted by: rickb223 at September 30, 2013 12:52 PM (d0Dmj)

67 obama is late as usual, but then we know what the scumbag is gonna say anyway. this dick has NEVER really talked seriously to Congress since he has been in power.

Posted by: Nevergiveup at September 30, 2013 12:52 PM (UbDLm)

68 Top Ten Home Surgeries:

8. Caulking-gun glute implants

Posted by: HeatherRadish™ needs a beer at September 30, 2013 12:52 PM (/kI1Q)

69 Anyone thinking about calling up a "navigator" tomorrow or in the future and just to talk about whatever is on your mind.

Posted by: Serious Cat at September 30, 2013 04:51 PM (UypUQ)

Check the link in my nick..some people are trolling the phonelines

Posted by: The Jackhole at September 30, 2013 12:52 PM (nTgAI)

70 Boy, that Obama sure likes to talk, doesn't he. Just not to anyone he disagrees with.

Posted by: Null at September 30, 2013 12:52 PM (P7hip)

71 Who will be the 'hero' who steps up to 'bravely' defy his party and craft a compromise?

Mumbles McCain has seniority.

Posted by: Tokyo Naval Intelligence at September 30, 2013 12:52 PM (evdj2)

72 I shudder with nausea at the thought of having to listen to himon the radio news on the drive home.

Posted by: Steve in Greensboro at September 30, 2013 04:43 PM (sugnf)

Then don't. Unless you are carpooling and it is someone else's car. Then you're gonna get what teh chicken gets.

Posted by: Mikey NTH - Outrage Outlet - Get Your supplies for Opening Day of RINO Season here! at September 30, 2013 12:53 PM (hLRSq)

73 Drinking game
Every time he says children drink a shot

Posted by: Navycopjoe

And the Middle Class ...
Do the right thing ...
Let me be queer ...

Posted by: weft cut-loop [/i] [/b] at September 30, 2013 12:53 PM (ligos)

74 Any foreign-national morons who want to experiment and see if they can get enrolled in O'care tomorrow?

Posted by: Serious Cat at September 30, 2013 12:53 PM (UypUQ)

75 Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit at September 30, 2013 04:51 PM (0HooB) 8. Liver Transplants

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) MFM Delenda Est at September 30, 2013 12:53 PM (/PCJa)

Serious you guys, the Republicans are just tryin'-a mess with him. And it's because he doesn't look like all those other old white guys who were president.

Posted by: Warden at September 30, 2013 12:53 PM (HzhBE)

77 The Imperial Senate has been dissolved, fear will keep the local systems in line... fear of this healthcare...

Posted by: WilHulff Caret at September 30, 2013 12:53 PM (UZQM8)

78 Watching that fucker would spoil my dinner.

Posted by: CrankyJAnne at September 30, 2013 12:53 PM (BnR4I)

79 Top Ten Home Surgeries:

9. Appendectomy.

8. Tonsilectomy

Posted by: rickb223 at September 30, 2013 12:53 PM (d0Dmj)

80 Kitten refuses to let go of pizza.
http://is.gd/ND8PKv

Posted by: HeatherRadish™ needs a beer at September 30, 2013 12:53 PM (/kI1Q)

81 hypocritical plagiarist I never could quite understand the entire concept of plagiarism. If I only steal from one person, that is bad. But if I steal from a lot of people, that is good? brb: Gonna steal from a jewelry store, a dry cleaner, and Home Depot.

Posted by: Schrödinger's cat [/i] at September 30, 2013 12:53 PM (U2UQk)

82 The time for debate is over.

Posted by: Warden at September 30, 2013 12:53 PM (HzhBE)

83 I'm starting to think American Mary may be a how to manual. Posted by: alexthechick - Bring the SMOD at September 30, 2013 04:45 PM (VtjlW) Just now?

Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith's Other Mobile[/i][/b][/s][/u] at September 30, 2013 12:54 PM (qyfb5)

84 64 What's the over/under on how many days this goes in for? By Saturday morning the GOP will be crying and squealing like a Ned Beatty

Posted by: Misanthropic humanitarian, now with 50% more sensitivity at September 30, 2013 12:54 PM (HVff2)

85 We will not negotiate on keeping our word and paying our debts.

Posted by: Warden at September 30, 2013 12:54 PM (HzhBE)

86 I really am utterly sick to death of seeing his face and hearing his drone. G-d damn him and everyone who thinks/behaves like him to Hell.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at September 30, 2013 12:54 PM (WjLUf)

87 I guess I'll repost this here since the by the time I hit post on the old thread this new thread was already up. I'm slow. New Republican Senator ratings are out. Only two to score an average of 100 are Cruz and Lee, Paul got a 99. I guess this is based on voting records by Heritage Foundation and Freedom Works. http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/3073029/posts

Posted by: lindafell at September 30, 2013 12:54 PM (PGO8C)

88 Any foreign-national morons who want to experiment and see if they can get enrolled in O'care tomorrow? Posted by: Serious Cat at September 30, 2013 04:53 PM (UypUQ) You don't have to be a foreigner to play a game. Go on the web sites and try to find your Doctor. Wanna bet he is not on the list.

Posted by: Nevergiveup at September 30, 2013 12:54 PM (UbDLm)

89 There's this notion...

Posted by: Warden at September 30, 2013 12:54 PM (HzhBE)

90 Some folks would rather play politics.

Posted by: Warden at September 30, 2013 12:54 PM (HzhBE)

91 Top Ten Home Surgeries:

9. Appendectomy.

8. Tonsilectomy

Posted by: rickb223 at September 30, 2013 04:53 PM (d0Dmj)

#1 addadicktome

Posted by: Barky at September 30, 2013 12:54 PM (nTgAI)

Top Ten Home Surgeries:

7. Cataract Removal.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit at September 30, 2013 12:55 PM (0HooB)

93 Is Iron Man 3 worth 4.99 on OnDemand?

Posted by: polynikes at September 30, 2013 12:55 PM (m2CN7)

94 What's the over/under on how many days this goes in for? By Saturday morning the GOP will be crying and squealing like a Ned Beatty I'll take the under.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) MFM Delenda Est at September 30, 2013 12:55 PM (/PCJa)

95 7. Clitorectomy!!!!!!

Posted by: Aloha Ackbar Ali Haji Sheik at September 30, 2013 12:55 PM (xmcEQ)

96 Simply amazing (but expected), that there is not a national uproar about the exemption Congress and senior guvvies are getting (and keeping) on Ocare, retaining the medical device tax (which is insane extortion on people in need), and the failure to dealyt the individual mandate when every Dem campaign contributor has gotten a waiver or delay.

Maybe Allen G is right after all! The populace is too stupid to survive, and the burning might get us back to Darwinian principles.

Posted by: Hrothgar at September 30, 2013 12:55 PM (XdnQT)

97 It's time to get this done.

Posted by: Warden at September 30, 2013 12:55 PM (HzhBE)

98 7? Gender reassignment surgery

Posted by: Misanthropic humanitarian, now with 50% more sensitivity at September 30, 2013 12:55 PM (HVff2)

99 Obama press conference??

**

Tan, Rested and Rrrrrready to go!!!

Posted by: Ashleigh Banfield's Pocket Rocket at September 30, 2013 12:55 PM (wmU4G)

100 By the way.. I shot a 152,, give me a hand

Posted by: Barky at September 30, 2013 12:55 PM (nTgAI)

101 This isn't about me. This is about getting millions of Americans the health care they need.

Posted by: Warden at September 30, 2013 12:55 PM (HzhBE)

102 Is Iron Man 3 worth 4.99 on OnDemand?

Wait a week. It'll be $1.30 on Redbox

Posted by: rickb223 at September 30, 2013 12:55 PM (d0Dmj)

103 Is Iron Man 3 worth 4.99 on OnDemand? Yeah, I'd pay that much for it.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) MFM Delenda Est at September 30, 2013 12:56 PM (/PCJa)

104 Has anyone had problems with accessing Twitter? Specifically, Twitter asked me to reset my password but keep failing to send me the link to reset. I've tried everything to get them to send it but their customer service is all done by email and I keep having to do the same thing over and over with the same shitty results.

Posted by: Dr Spank at September 30, 2013 12:56 PM (9jLim)

105 Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) MFM Delenda Est at September 30, 2013 04:55 PM (/PCJa)

Boehner is just waiting for the best moment to slip the knife into our backs. Timing is everything!

Posted by: Hrothgar at September 30, 2013 12:56 PM (XdnQT)

106 And ace if you are reading I know you are a fan of magician based movies. Is the movie, Now You See Me, worth seeing?

Posted by: polynikes at September 30, 2013 12:56 PM (m2CN7)

107 BASE jumpers? Posted by: SpongeBobSaget at September 30, 2013 04:52 PM (epxV4) I was gonna say that but I was too busy snarking on the Obamasaster. Base jumpers get in the news a few times a year in various cities.

Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith's Other Mobile[/i][/b][/s][/u] at September 30, 2013 12:56 PM (qyfb5)

108 Is Iron Man 3 worth 4.99 on OnDemand?

Yes. The Mandarin is a good character.

Posted by: Tokyo Naval Intelligence at September 30, 2013 12:56 PM (evdj2)

109 I really am utterly sick to death of seeing his face and hearing his drone. Posted by: J.J. Sefton Are you serious? You actually look at him and listen to him? I have not willingly glimpsed Obama's face nor heard his voice since 2008. Seriously. That's the whole point of the Internet -- you can choose your news. I choose not to see or listen to that guy. Period. For real.

Posted by: zombie at September 30, 2013 12:57 PM (+cx5n)

110 96 7. Clitorectomy!!!!!!

6. Tubal Ligation.

5. Hemorrhoid Removal

Posted by: rickb223 at September 30, 2013 12:57 PM (d0Dmj)

111 Okay mixed reviews on Iron Man 3. Its worse than the government shutdown debacle!!!

Posted by: polynikes at September 30, 2013 12:57 PM (m2CN7)

112 Check the link in my nick..some people are trolling the phonelines

Posted by: The Jackhole at September 30, 2013 04:52 PM (nTgAI)

Thanks for that. Funny stuff.

Posted by: Serious Cat at September 30, 2013 12:57 PM (UypUQ)

113 "Extremists on the other side refuse to accept reality and compromise and do it my way AAAAANNNNNNNNDDDDD . . . "

Posted by: Count de Monet at September 30, 2013 12:57 PM (BAS5M)

114 I'd hate to miss shitforbrains speech.

Posted by: Boss Moss former editor of the Harvard Law Review at September 30, 2013 12:57 PM (0axsw)

115 So what did he say?

Posted by: hello, it's me also a creep-assed cracka.. at September 30, 2013 12:58 PM (9+ccr)

116

I'm late... i'm late... for a very important date...

ahhh... who am I kiddin... its just the American people...

Posted by: Barak 'late as usual' Obama at September 30, 2013 12:58 PM (lZBBB)

117 Is the movie, Now You See Me, worth seeing?

10,000 word review @ http://minx.cc/?post=343197

Posted by: Tokyo Naval Intelligence at September 30, 2013 12:58 PM (evdj2)

118

Top Ten Home Surgeries

6. Caesarian Section.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit at September 30, 2013 12:58 PM (0HooB)

119 That's the whole point of the Internet -- you can choose your ~~news~~ ~~pr0n~~ kittehs.

Posted by: HeatherRadish™ needs a beer at September 30, 2013 12:58 PM (/kI1Q)

120

@108

You missed the official review?

Posted by: Jollyroger at September 30, 2013 12:58 PM (t06LC)

121 I hate people who always late.

Posted by: Nevergiveup at September 30, 2013 12:58 PM (UbDLm)

122
Instant GOP 2016 winner if you could pull this off as a walk in rejoinder.

Posted by: DaveA at September 30, 2013 12:58 PM (DL2i+)

123 So what did he say?

Um, um, aaah, um, my fellow Americans, um, uh.....

Posted by: rickb223 at September 30, 2013 12:58 PM (d0Dmj)

124 Top Ten Home Surgeries

6. Caesarian Section.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit at September 30, 2013 04:58 PM

Mole removal

Posted by: Barky at September 30, 2013 12:59 PM (nTgAI)

125 I'll jump to the #1 home surgery - kidney reassignment.

Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith's Other Mobile[/i][/b][/s][/u] at September 30, 2013 12:59 PM (qyfb5)

126 Sorry to spoil it for you guys, but the leadership in the Republican party will find some way to betray their base and yet claim they really "won".

Posted by: Spoily McSpoilerson at September 30, 2013 12:59 PM (8719b)

127 Boehner is just waiting for the best moment to slip the knife into our backs. It's surprising that he even has the balls to do that.

Posted by: Blacque Jacques Shellacque at September 30, 2013 12:59 PM (vd7A8)

128 Okay, its Iron Man 3 tonight.

Posted by: polynikes at September 30, 2013 12:59 PM (m2CN7)

129 Iron Man 3 was all about UniBeam Healthcare?

Posted by: Lincolntf at September 30, 2013 12:59 PM (ZshNr)

130 He's on dopedealer savings time.

Posted by: Boss Moss former editor of the Harvard Law Review at September 30, 2013 12:59 PM (0axsw)

131 Congress needs to pass a funding bill so that I can get back to wrok on important things like Skypeing with the Iranian President. Maybe. If he likes me.

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at September 30, 2013 01:00 PM (659DL)

132 And ace if you are reading I know you are a fan of magician based movies. Is the movie, Now You See Me, worth seeing?

Posted by: polynikes at September 30, 2013 04:56 PM (m2CN7)

Ace reviewed it(kinda) a couple weeks ago. He kinda liked it for the sheer improbability of it. I thought it sucked. My wife napped on it. Morgan Freeman and Mark Rufalo is all you need to know.

Posted by: dananjcon at September 30, 2013 01:00 PM (wmU4G)

133

My Father taught me that being on time was a show of Respect... as it showed that those peoples time was important to you...

Note... Obama is late... as always...

Posted by: Romeo13 at September 30, 2013 01:00 PM (lZBBB)

134 That's the whole point of the Internet -- you can choose your news pr0n kittehs sweater puppies!

Fixed!

Posted by: rickb223 at September 30, 2013 01:00 PM (d0Dmj)

135 From Iowahawk Twitter: "So let me get this right: I government shutdown will result in the media saying mean things about Republicans."

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at September 30, 2013 01:01 PM (a4Omg)

136 Sorry to spoil it for you guys, but Obama won't answer any questions, and if by Gods grace he does take one, it will have already been pre screened to blame Republicans and allow him to drone for 10 minutes about how evil they are.

Posted by: Spoily McSpoilerson at September 30, 2013 01:01 PM (8719b)

137 I personally can not wait to hear how OCare is going to benefit all the Aunt Pookie types in O's constituency. Marvelous.

Posted by: Count de Monet at September 30, 2013 01:01 PM (BAS5M)

138 The Won making the white man wait. VJ is holding him around the waist as we speak.

Posted by: Golfman in NC at September 30, 2013 01:01 PM (/djtm)

139 Todd says 2 minutes. Dweeb.

Posted by: Socalcon at September 30, 2013 01:01 PM (K6CHr)

140 Has anyone had problems with accessing Twitter? Specifically, Twitter asked me to reset my password but keep failing to send me the link to reset.

Are you sure it wasn't a phishing attempt (fake e-mail to trick you into giving up your password)?

Posted by: Hollowpoint at September 30, 2013 01:01 PM (SY2Kh)

141 That SCOAMF can't have anything to say that would interest me.

Posted by: CarolT at September 30, 2013 01:01 PM (nFI1a)

142 Iron Man 3 was less disappointing than Iron Man 2, but not by much. Basically half of it was really good. Not happy about the direction they're going.

Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith's Other Mobile[/i][/b][/s][/u] at September 30, 2013 01:01 PM (qyfb5)

143 Note... Obama is late... as always... Sloppy staff work. Shocker, I know.

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at September 30, 2013 01:01 PM (659DL)

144 arrogance on display

Posted by: Nevergiveup at September 30, 2013 01:01 PM (UbDLm)

145 Right off the bat, he's lecturing.

Posted by: Serious Cat at September 30, 2013 01:02 PM (UypUQ)

146 2 minutes? Wow a new record...Only 17 minutes late...

Posted by: hello, it's me also a creep-assed cracka.. at September 30, 2013 01:02 PM (9+ccr)

147 he's gonna be clear--by that he means lie

Posted by: Nevergiveup at September 30, 2013 01:02 PM (UbDLm)

148

Top Ten Home Surgeries

5. Liposuction

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit at September 30, 2013 01:02 PM (0HooB)

149 Obammer budget. 499-0

Posted by: Golfman in NC at September 30, 2013 01:02 PM (/djtm)

150 The kitteh video won't play for me. Because of Obamacare.

Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith's Other Mobile[/i][/b][/s][/u] at September 30, 2013 01:02 PM (qyfb5)

151 He starts off talking about 'Constitutional responsibilities'! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! This Guy cracks me up!

Posted by: [/i][/b][/u][/s] Tami at September 30, 2013 01:02 PM (bCEmE)

152 This is not what they have told us for ...

Posted by: Golfman in NC at September 30, 2013 01:02 PM (/djtm)

153 Do we really need to hear this clickety, clakety. jive cadence.
Yeah even a mutt like me ,
deaf from gunfire and an excessively loud ex wife,
can hear that cadence in his speech..

Don't you just love the imposter of Righteousness..

Posted by: Slim Pickens at September 30, 2013 01:03 PM (3GuQx)

154 Please. Someone write what he's saying. I can't listen to the shitweasel.

Posted by: Soona at September 30, 2013 01:03 PM (7eRmH)

155

Oh, thank God the border patrol will remain at their posts to welcome the illegals in.

Posted by: Warden at September 30, 2013 01:03 PM (HzhBE)

156 >>That's the whole point of the Internet --

Also why god invented the mute button on the TV remote during Clinton's presidency. Who was/is also always late.

Posted by: Lizzy at September 30, 2013 01:03 PM (vvueH)

157 Pizza kitty video works for me.

Posted by: Boss Moss former editor of the Harvard Law Review at September 30, 2013 01:03 PM (0axsw)

158 THe children!!!

Posted by: RWC - Bring on O-Care at September 30, 2013 01:03 PM (fWAjv)

159

Posted by: dananjcon at September 30, 2013 05:00 PM (wmU4G)

Okay that one is off the list.

Posted by: polynikes at September 30, 2013 01:03 PM (m2CN7)

160 Contra the kenyan fuck stain, this is not about getting the estimated 30 million without insurance covered which we could do with a funding bill that would cost 180 billion per year, this is about control and furthering the lefts social utopian and statists ends.

Posted by: kreplach at September 30, 2013 01:03 PM (5aory)

161 What did he say?

Posted by: hello, it's me also a creep-assed cracka.. at September 30, 2013 01:04 PM (9+ccr)

162 He just fucking said the Hurricane Sandy rebuild will suffer. WTF?

Posted by: Warden at September 30, 2013 01:04 PM (HzhBE)

163 4:40 yet?

Posted by: Socalcon at September 30, 2013 01:04 PM (K6CHr)

164 all this putz can do is use scare tactics and divide people against each other

Posted by: Nevergiveup at September 30, 2013 01:04 PM (UbDLm)

165 He starts off talking about 'Constitutional responsibilities'! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! This Guy cracks me up! Posted by: Tami at September 30, 2013 05:02 PM (bCEmE) *waves tiny fuck you you fucking jackhole of fucking jackholeness where's the motherfucking budget you fucking fuck of a fucker sign*

Posted by: alexthechick - Bring the SMOD at September 30, 2013 01:04 PM (VtjlW)

166 He's not saying. TelePrompTer is broken. He's reading. Pretty sad this is the leader of our nation.

Posted by: Golfman in NC at September 30, 2013 01:04 PM (/djtm)

167 I remember reading on Cracked about a Dutch guy who did his own hernia surgery.
Something about standing over a mirror, cutting his own taint and putting the guts back into place.

The glorious future under obamacare.

Posted by: RoyalOil at September 30, 2013 01:04 PM (VjL9S)

168 Fed .gov is the largest employer. Hit the nail on the fucking head bammy!

Posted by: RWC - Bring on O-Care at September 30, 2013 01:04 PM (fWAjv)

169 Your new puppy will get heartworms if the government shuts down.

Posted by: Warden at September 30, 2013 01:04 PM (HzhBE)

170 sounds like he is going to veto that Military pay bill

Posted by: Nevergiveup at September 30, 2013 01:04 PM (UbDLm)

171 largest employer US government...

Yes we can let the BAcon Shrink..

Posted by: Slim Pickens at September 30, 2013 01:04 PM (3GuQx)

172 The only rhetorical device TFG knows: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parade_of_horribles

Posted by: jakeman at September 30, 2013 01:05 PM (vH4YP)

173 I think it's important that Americans know that the federal government is Americas largest employer, employing over 2 million people. No shit, fuckstick. This is exactly the problem.

Posted by: JackStraw at September 30, 2013 01:05 PM (g1DWB)

174 It is the best speech ever....I mean the best since his last one.

Posted by: The MSM at September 30, 2013 01:05 PM (a4Omg)

175 Why pay the border patrol? They don't do their job anyway. They have a union though.

Posted by: Boss Moss former editor of the Harvard Law Review at September 30, 2013 01:05 PM (0axsw)

176 173 sounds like he is going to veto that Military pay bill Posted by: Nevergiveup at September 30, 2013 05:04 PM (UbDLm) Really? That fucking piece of shit...

Posted by: hello, it's me also a creep-assed cracka.. at September 30, 2013 01:05 PM (9+ccr)

177 If the government shuts down, all men with male pattern baldness will be forced to wear unattractive combovers.

Posted by: Warden at September 30, 2013 01:05 PM (HzhBE)

178 Wow. Dude is awesome.

Posted by: RWC - Bring on O-Care at September 30, 2013 01:05 PM (fWAjv)

179 my G-D he is bragging about the shitty yob he has been doing

Posted by: Nevergiveup at September 30, 2013 01:06 PM (UbDLm)

180 http://tinyurl.com/18r

Doh!

Posted by: DaveA at September 30, 2013 01:06 PM (DL2i+)

181

In a shutdown, the Potus has the power to fund the depts. that he wants to.

Clinton even funded the Agriculture Dept...with a stroke of a pen.

Posted by: wheatie at September 30, 2013 01:06 PM (61FoN)

182 "It does not have to happen....let me repeat this, It does not have to happen."

Posted by: [/i][/b][/u][/s] Tami at September 30, 2013 01:06 PM (bCEmE)

183 If this happens, parachute pants will be back in style. And a requirement.

Posted by: RWC - Bring on O-Care at September 30, 2013 01:06 PM (fWAjv)

184 I lasted exactly 1 minute listening to this jerk. I can't take it.

Posted by: jakeman at September 30, 2013 01:06 PM (vH4YP)

185 Do you think ONE reporter will ask this dick why we're operating without a federal budget.

Posted by: Warden at September 30, 2013 01:06 PM (HzhBE)

186 Best speech evah. Historic ! The lapdog media...

Posted by: hello, it's me also a creep-assed cracka.. at September 30, 2013 01:06 PM (9+ccr)

187 Bless y'all for watching this so I don't have to.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) MFM Delenda Est at September 30, 2013 01:06 PM (/PCJa)

188 Fluke me.

Posted by: Golfman in NC at September 30, 2013 01:06 PM (/djtm)

189 173 sounds like he is going to veto that Military pay bill Posted by: Nevergiveup at September 30, 2013 05:04 PM (UbDLm) Really? That fucking piece of shit... Posted by: hello, it's me also a creep-assed cracka.. at September 30, 2013 05:05 PM (9+ccr) He did not say it outright, but he said Military pay will be delayed?

Posted by: Nevergiveup at September 30, 2013 01:06 PM (UbDLm)

190 Oh, limiting a woman's access to contraception..... Yeah, that's what gov't is about. Got it.

Posted by: [/i][/b][/u][/s] Tami at September 30, 2013 01:07 PM (bCEmE)

191 Couldn't watch or listen. Makes me too angry.

They'll give us instructions tomorrow. I don't know about other people in the employ of the fed, but us contractors will not get back pay or comp time or anything. We get to sit in corporate until they tell us to go home and watch TV until it tells us the fed gov't has been funded again and we can charge to our tasks.

Tell me they will at least have security there in the capitol when they shut it all down.

Posted by: RiverC, White Chocolate Emancipator at September 30, 2013 01:07 PM (El+h4)

192 They should farm out everything the government does to private companies.

Posted by: Boss Moss former editor of the Harvard Law Review at September 30, 2013 01:07 PM (0axsw)

193 Everytime the president says "common sense legislation," you have to mainline heroin.

Posted by: © Sponge at September 30, 2013 01:07 PM (xmcEQ)

194 Romney: dual MBA/JD 3.97 GPA. Soetoro: unknown GPA.

Posted by: Harvard Records Dept. at September 30, 2013 01:07 PM (/1ATA)

195 my G-D he is bragging about the shitty yob he has been doing

No one has ever told him he's been doing a shitty job.

Posted by: rickb223 at September 30, 2013 01:07 PM (d0Dmj)

196 Are you sure it wasn't a phishing attempt (fake e-mail to trick you into giving up your password)?
Posted by: Hollowpoint

Pretty sure. I tried to access Twitter and it wouldn't let me log-in and then it sent me through their reset password process. Besides who hacks Twitter? Is someone going to say something outrageous in my name?

Posted by: Dr Spank at September 30, 2013 01:07 PM (9jLim)

197 Kenny Marchant ‏@RepKenMarchant 1m Congress should NOT be paid if the gov't shuts down. Military should ALWAYS be paid no matter what. Cosponsored 2 bills that say just that.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at September 30, 2013 01:07 PM (DmNpO)

198 He did not say it outright, but he said Military pay will be delayed?

Perhaps he hasn't read the newspaper yet.

Posted by: Tokyo Naval Intelligence at September 30, 2013 01:07 PM (evdj2)

199 I can't even stand the sight of him anymore.

Posted by: Soona at September 30, 2013 01:08 PM (7eRmH)

200 http://tinyurl.com/ojjf4t2

Failed before I made it to the barrel so it's a good day.

Posted by: DaveA at September 30, 2013 01:08 PM (DL2i+)

201 Damn. You people watching this deserve a Klondike bar.

Posted by: Jollyroger at September 30, 2013 01:08 PM (t06LC)

202 He's going on and on and one about Obamacare....and on....and....on.....nap.

Posted by: [/i][/b][/u][/s] Tami at September 30, 2013 01:08 PM (bCEmE)

203 not sure how long I can listen to this shit

Posted by: Nevergiveup at September 30, 2013 01:08 PM (UbDLm)

204 I've been getting a kick out of Hairy Reid the past couple of days. He won't call ObamaCare by it's actual name, the "Affordable Care Act", instead he refers to it as ObamaCare. I so, so, so, so badly want him to have to sign up for this shit sandwich. Then have to explain to a physician the number of children he allegedly has infected. Duly recorded by physician, entered into database, duly recorded by NSA, then available by .25 charge to PayPal by morning.

Posted by: Schrödinger's cat [/i] at September 30, 2013 01:08 PM (U2UQk)

205 The White House will still get their food stamps though.

Posted by: Boss Moss former editor of the Harvard Law Review at September 30, 2013 01:08 PM (0axsw)

206 When Obama pops out for a scolding session...er...press conference it means one thing: he's been stung. Stay strong Rebubs!!

Posted by: Russkilitlover at September 30, 2013 01:08 PM (5PEsz)

207 Fapfapfap

Ung huh huh huh...

FapFapfapfapfap

Almost... there....

FapFapFapFapFapFAPFAP

YES YES YES

Posted by: Chris Matthews at September 30, 2013 01:08 PM (SY2Kh)

208 If the government shuts down, M&Ms will, in fact, melt in your hand.

Posted by: Warden at September 30, 2013 01:08 PM (HzhBE)

209 Bears my signature,
That signature only counts for something signed by the Righteous...

Posted by: Slim Pickens at September 30, 2013 01:09 PM (3GuQx)

210 has he pointed and wagged his finger at the camera and say , " I want to say one thing to the American people. I want you to listen to me. I'm going to say this again. I did not say you can keep you insurance if you wanted, not once. I need to go back to work for the American people. Thank you. "

Posted by: polynikes at September 30, 2013 01:09 PM (m2CN7)

211 191 Bless y'all for watching this so I don't have to. Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) MFM Delenda Est at September 30, 2013 05:06 PM (/PCJa) I won't listen to him. I do not have to participate in an effort to feed me bullshit. I take it as a given that he is lying whenever he speaks.

Posted by: Diogenes' Lamp at September 30, 2013 01:09 PM (bb5+k)

212 Even at Christmas when I go to Hawaii? Noooo.

Posted by: JackStraw at September 30, 2013 01:09 PM (g1DWB)

213 My BF is a liar!

Posted by: Reggie Love at September 30, 2013 01:09 PM (/1ATA)

214 Always willing to work with anyone. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucccccccccccccccccccckkkkkkkkkkkkkk Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

Posted by: RWC - Bring on O-Care at September 30, 2013 01:09 PM (fWAjv)

215 "189 Do you think ONE reporter will ask this dick why we're operating without a federal budget. Posted by: Warden189 Do you think ONE reporter will ask this dick why we're operating without a federal budget. Posted by: Warden" One might conclude that the lying complicit media is more to blame than anyone else. Anyone excluding those who voted for this shit of course. 300 million people and this is the best we can come up with. Like I was alluding to earlier, there are no coincidences.

Posted by: Melvin Frohike at September 30, 2013 01:09 PM (sYLzD)

216 I love this guy: Charles C. W. Cooke ‏@charlescwcooke 7s I can't believe that the shutdown is going to ruin the booming economy.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at September 30, 2013 01:09 PM (DmNpO)

217 "One faction, in one party, in one part of gov't. does not get to shut down the whole gov't."

Posted by: [/i][/b][/u][/s] Tami at September 30, 2013 01:10 PM (bCEmE)

218 Look at this fuckface wearing a flag pin.

Posted by: Warden at September 30, 2013 01:10 PM (HzhBE)

219 Middle class? Maybe I missed it?

Posted by: RWC - Bring on O-Care at September 30, 2013 01:10 PM (fWAjv)

220

The "Tea" Party is so full of terrorists that they might as well change their name to Al-Chai da.

Ba-da-bing!

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at September 30, 2013 01:10 PM (N/Sup)

221 VJ is using a lot of Astro Glide lately...

Posted by: Slim Pickens at September 30, 2013 01:10 PM (3GuQx)

222 This constitutional scholar we have. Wow. They do t get fucking boll weevils.

Posted by: Golfman in NC at September 30, 2013 01:10 PM (/djtm)

223 Look at this fuckface wearing a flag pin.

The man loves Amerikka. Seriously.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at September 30, 2013 01:10 PM (8ZskC)

224 If only they could set up some fake TV streams and convince KingPutt they were real, fake up some interview requests ... the man doth love to listen to his own voice and could probably be distracting from causing 90% of the harm he does.

Posted by: palerider at September 30, 2013 01:10 PM (dkExz)

225 If the government shuts down, MMs will, in fact, melt in your hand.

And ampersands will be in short supply.

Posted by: Waterhouse at September 30, 2013 01:11 PM (YVx8A)

226

Top Ten Home Surgeries

3. Circumcision.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit at September 30, 2013 01:11 PM (0HooB)

227 *waves tiny fuck you you fucking jackhole of fucking jackholeness where's the motherfucking budget you fucking fuck of a fucker sign* Posted by: alexthechick - Bring the SMOD at September 30, 2013 05:04 PM (VtjlW) *waves large "what she said only with more fucks" sign*

Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith [/i] [/b] [/s] [/u] at September 30, 2013 01:11 PM (qyfb5)

228 #222

Oh yes it does, Obummer. Oh, yes it does.

Feel the burn, feel it and know you will be remembered as the greatest failure.

AKA

Nixon-Carter I

Posted by: RiverC, White Chocolate Emancipator at September 30, 2013 01:11 PM (El+h4)

229 Someone in the office announce the .gov is closing tomorrow. EVERYONE cheered.

Posted by: RWC - Bring on O-Care at September 30, 2013 01:11 PM (fWAjv)

230 I think I saw Carney jerking off to the side

Posted by: Nevergiveup at September 30, 2013 01:11 PM (UbDLm)

231 "You don't get to extract a ransom for doing your job....or just because there's a law you don't like."

Posted by: [/i][/b][/u][/s] Tami at September 30, 2013 01:11 PM (bCEmE)

232

Ready to move to Belize? Your country is turning to shit and is lead by criminals.

Posted by: Belize at September 30, 2013 01:11 PM (/1ATA)

233 Didn't we just hear from this flatulent lip-flapper the other day?

Posted by: wisenheimer at September 30, 2013 01:11 PM (mjBqk)

234 Posted by: Nevergiveup at September 30, 2013 05:08 PM (UbDLm)

Better you than me.....

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at September 30, 2013 01:11 PM (/kU/5)

235 224 Middle class? Maybe I missed it? Used to be there. And I still have a job.

Posted by: Golfman in NC at September 30, 2013 01:11 PM (/djtm)

236 More office space will be opening up in the suburbs *** With Obamcare abortion will be safe and available while tonselectomies, appendectomies, and such will be back alley jobs.

Posted by: WalrusRex at September 30, 2013 01:12 PM (2vJ+h)

237 Will Obamapho's stop working during the shutdown?

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at September 30, 2013 01:12 PM (8ZskC)

238 Obama looks like he has cancer on his face.

Posted by: Flatbush Joe at September 30, 2013 01:12 PM (ZPrif)

239 Has he mentioned the fake fatwa about nuclear weapons, yet? He read it online, so it MUST be true.

Posted by: © Sponge at September 30, 2013 01:12 PM (xmcEQ)

240 crap.....i was looking forward to laughing at my mom eating dog food......she's still going to get her check? crap!!!!!! //////

Posted by: phoenixgirl at work at September 30, 2013 01:12 PM (8InM1)

241 Better you than me..... Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at September 30, 2013 05:11 PM (/kU/5) I thought you said if I listen, drinks are on you on Friday?

Posted by: Nevergiveup at September 30, 2013 01:12 PM (UbDLm)

242 I step away from the Belling show now this TFG is on how I detest this fucking jerk circle wad

Posted by: Misanthropic humanitarian, now with 50% more sensitivity at September 30, 2013 01:12 PM (HVff2)

243 No questions....leaves.

Posted by: [/i][/b][/u][/s] Tami at September 30, 2013 01:12 PM (bCEmE)

244 If the government shuts down, MMs will, in fact, melt in your hand.

And ampersands will be in short supply.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&& Hope not &&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Posted by: rickb223 at September 30, 2013 01:13 PM (d0Dmj)

245 Run you fucking pussy

Posted by: RWC - Bring on O-Care at September 30, 2013 01:13 PM (fWAjv)

246 If the government shuts down, rainbows will only be in black and grey and at best a stripe of puke green.

Posted by: polynikes at September 30, 2013 01:13 PM (m2CN7)

247 My thoughts? Ban-worthy.

Posted by: Soona at September 30, 2013 01:13 PM (7eRmH)

248 219 Always willing to work with anyone.
==========
It takes a special grade of stupid, the kind securely stored in the high-powered, advanced containment facility of John Boener's skull, to not call his bluff.

At 5:30 PM Eastern time, 9/30/2013 picture of John Boener at an empty conference table ''I'm here, ready to work. Where's Obama?"

Posted by: RoyalOil at September 30, 2013 01:13 PM (VjL9S)

249 If the sequester didn't kill America, why would the shut down of the government? In fact, I see that as a feature, rather than a bug!

Posted by: shibumi at September 30, 2013 01:13 PM (25HWz)

250 Did I mention some mullahs in Iran are finally taking my calls? Eat that, bitchez!

Posted by: Barky O'Genius at September 30, 2013 01:13 PM (8ZskC)

251 Besides who hacks Twitter? Is someone going to say something outrageous in my name?

Happens all the time- spammers hijack the account.

Sometimes to post dick pics...

Posted by: Hollowpoint at September 30, 2013 01:13 PM (SY2Kh)

252 Shit. Does this mean Crystal Pepsi and New Coke are the only options?

Posted by: RWC - Bring on O-Care at September 30, 2013 01:13 PM (fWAjv)

253 Shortest speech evar? ...It was only about 10 minutes.

Posted by: wheatie at September 30, 2013 01:13 PM (61FoN)

254 One might conclude that the lying complicit media is more to blame than anyone else. Posted by: Melvin Frohike at September 30, 2013 05:09 PM (sYLzD) I say this to the extent that I expect people are sick of hearing it, yet it seems to me to be the most salient truth about where we have been going wrong as a nation. The media is killing us, in both "entertainment" and in News.

Posted by: Diogenes' Lamp at September 30, 2013 01:13 PM (bb5+k)

255 White boys sat up there with mics and didn't get to say shit. Sounds like the first half of "8 Mile".

Posted by: Golfman in NC at September 30, 2013 01:13 PM (/djtm)

256 Did you listen to Obama?! Utter political brinksmanship..., or, as I would say, bullshit.

Posted by: Mike Hammer at September 30, 2013 01:14 PM (aDwsi)

257 Screeching lapdog, "can you still go to Asia?'

Posted by: Socalcon at September 30, 2013 01:14 PM (K6CHr)

258 Off to golf or the putting green?

Posted by: Nevergiveup at September 30, 2013 01:14 PM (UbDLm)

259 In my nic is a link to the Michelle Obama Mirror blog. I read it almost daily and recommend it, but today's post is exceptional, and I hope a few of you follow the link and read it.

Posted by: Chilling the most at September 30, 2013 01:14 PM (gxtMZ)

260 So what's the synopsis of this speech?

Posted by: hello, it's me also a creep-assed cracka.. at September 30, 2013 01:14 PM (9+ccr)

261 Has Obama *ever* put forward a budget for *anything* that wasn't a laughable failure?

Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith [/i] [/b] [/s] [/u] at September 30, 2013 01:14 PM (qyfb5)

262 Wow, those TP types are getting under his rug...
Being the Feds are over staffed, they can afford a little trim..

Posted by: Slim Pickens at September 30, 2013 01:14 PM (3GuQx)

263 Sexual chocolate! [drops mike\

Posted by: Randy Watson at September 30, 2013 01:15 PM (Ec6wH)

264 265 So what's the synopsis of this speech? Posted by: hello, it's me also a creep-assed cracka.. at September 30, 2013 05:14 PM (9+ccr) "Fuckin' teabaggers....trying to ruin all the good economic shit I've accomplished."

Posted by: [/i][/b][/u][/s] Tami at September 30, 2013 01:15 PM (bCEmE)

265 So what's the synopsis of this speech? Posted by: hello, it's me also a creep-assed cracka.. at September 30, 2013 05:14 PM (9+ccr) Tea Party bad, berry berry bad obama good, berry berry good

Posted by: Nevergiveup at September 30, 2013 01:15 PM (UbDLm)

266 265 So what's the synopsis of this speech? Posted by: hello, it's me also a creep-assed cracka.. at September 30, 2013 05:14 PM (9+ccr) gop are meanie heads

Posted by: phoenixgirl at work at September 30, 2013 01:15 PM (8InM1)

267 So what's the synopsis of this speech? Posted by: hello, it's me also a creep-assed cracka.. at September 30, 2013 05:14 PM (9+ccr) "Fuck you, pay me." (drops microphone, walks away)

Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith [/i] [/b] [/s] [/u] at September 30, 2013 01:15 PM (qyfb5)

268 Shortest speech evar? ...It was only about 10 minutes. While the number of lies he tells varies directly with the length of the speech, their brazenness varies inversely with same. That is: he tells fewer lies in shorter speeches, but they're harder to ignore, so he doesn't take questions after short speeches.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) MFM Delenda Est at September 30, 2013 01:15 PM (/PCJa)

269 I won't call the Tea Party's actions terrorism, but they are man-caused disasters.

Posted by: Barky O'Genius at September 30, 2013 01:16 PM (8ZskC)

270 @267 You could easily trim 25% of the federal work force an not notice a god damned difference.

Posted by: kreplach at September 30, 2013 01:16 PM (RMg6O)

271 Hello serfs.

Notwithstanding the fact I've sat on my ass for 6+ years now and done zero to ease your suffering, in fact I've added to it- you're welcome, the Senate, which has also done nothing in the past 6+ years also, not even pass a budget, heretofore know as the "NO" Senate, is now facing down the "evil" Republicans, who, to everyone's surprise including mine, now want to do something about our massive, unsustainable debts, entitlements and destruction of our health care system by moi, and historic unemployment.

Oh wait, where was I- this was suppose to be an argument against the Republicans, because it's their fault. Blame them or something.

Thank you.

Fore!

Posted by: Marcus at September 30, 2013 01:16 PM (GGCsk)

272 The first paycheck they miss, the Legions should cross the Rubicon.

Posted by: Boss Moss former editor of the Harvard Law Review at September 30, 2013 01:16 PM (0axsw)

273 Just get it done with before the ball game starts, jackass.

Posted by: CrotchetyOldJarhead at September 30, 2013 01:16 PM (4+PCd)

274 Wait. Didn't the JEF give a big speech before Putin kicked him the Reggie Handle?

Kinda a telegraph of "I'm about to get my ass kicked--get me a speech to save me!"

Posted by: RoyalOil at September 30, 2013 01:17 PM (VjL9S)

275 So what's the synopsis of this speech? A brief summation: HODOR!!!!!

Posted by: Brother Cavil at September 30, 2013 01:17 PM (naUcP)

276 After that speech I've decided to do some DHMO.

Posted by: Schrödinger's cat [/i] at September 30, 2013 01:17 PM (U2UQk)

277 I'll be waiting out by the river with a fire extinguisher until the EPA starts back up.

Posted by: UWP at September 30, 2013 01:17 PM (vj51i)

278

Posted by: hello, it's me also a creep-assed cracka.. at September 30, 2013 05:14 PM (9+ccr)

Yes, this, real live PhD(c) is TAing a class and couldn't watch.

Posted by: tsrblke, PhD(c) (tablet) at September 30, 2013 01:17 PM (a8eFL)

279

Top Ten Home Surgeries

2. Biopsies.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit at September 30, 2013 01:17 PM (0HooB)

280 Wow, those TP types are getting under his rug...
Being the Feds are over staffed, they can afford a little trim..

Very true. They're our best clients.

Posted by: Federation of DC Escort Services at September 30, 2013 01:17 PM (SY2Kh)

281 Sexual chocolate! [drops mike\
Posted by: Randy Watson at September 30, 2013 05:15 PM (Ec6wH) [/I]

God Damn. That boy can sing!

Posted by: garrett at September 30, 2013 01:17 PM (NZ59h)

282 You could easily trim 25% of the federal work force an not notice a god damned difference. Posted by: kreplach at September 30, 2013 05:16 PM (RMg6O) Yes you would, it would be cheaper.

Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith [/i] [/b] [/s] [/u] at September 30, 2013 01:17 PM (qyfb5)

283 Bob Beckel. Majorities. Wolves and a sheep or something.

Posted by: Golfman in NC at September 30, 2013 01:17 PM (/djtm)

284 Just curious- who is going to notice the government has shut down? Government workers?

Based on what the senate has done for 6 years- I thought the government was already shut down...

Posted by: Marcus at September 30, 2013 01:18 PM (GGCsk)

285 zzzZZZZzzzz

Posted by: toby928© at September 30, 2013 01:18 PM (evdj2)

286

And here is our Number One Home Surgery

1. Self-circumcision.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit at September 30, 2013 01:18 PM (0HooB)

287 Posted by: tsrblke, PhD(c) (tablet) at September 30, 2013 05:17 PM (a8eFL) Your humble-bragging needs some work.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) MFM Delenda Est at September 30, 2013 01:18 PM (/PCJa)

288 *waves tiny fuck you you fucking jackhole of fucking jackholeness where's the motherfucking budget you fucking fuck of a fucker sign*

I'm thinking a chocolate cupcake with chocolate cream filling for that one.

Posted by: HeatherRadish™ needs a beer at September 30, 2013 01:18 PM (/kI1Q)

289 You could easily trim 25% of the federal work force an not notice a god damned difference. Your download speed might increase, for reasons of national security I am not at liberty to explain.

Posted by: NSA - Naturally Snooping on Americans [/i] at September 30, 2013 01:19 PM (U2UQk)

290 The sun will come up tomorrow and I will still have to fight traffic to get to work so I can pay my taxes

Posted by: Nevergiveup at September 30, 2013 01:19 PM (UbDLm)

291 Why does Fox News have to drop one illiterate turd into every punchbowl panel?

Posted by: Boss Moss former editor of the Harvard Law Review at September 30, 2013 01:19 PM (0axsw)

292 I thought you said if I listen, drinks are on you on Friday?

Posted by: Nevergiveup at September 30, 2013 05:12 PM (UbDLm)

I would pay almost anything not to hear his voice.....

Well, except your bar bill. That's a bit much.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at September 30, 2013 01:19 PM (/kU/5)

293 And here is our Number One Home Surgery

1. Self-circumcision.

Just the tip.....

Posted by: rickb223 at September 30, 2013 01:19 PM (d0Dmj)

294 Why does Fox News have to drop one illiterate turd into every punchbowl panel? Realism.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) MFM Delenda Est at September 30, 2013 01:19 PM (/PCJa)

295 And here is our Number One Home Surgery

1. Self-circumcision.

So emo arm-slashing didn't even make the list this year?

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at September 30, 2013 01:20 PM (8ZskC)

296 Obama is a lying POS and the worst President--but remember he's a politician and he's going to do everything he can to sell whatever it is he's trying to sell. But it's the media job to try to trip him up and not let him get away with it, and all they do is fall over themselves to praise him, run interference and WILLFULLY distort, omit facts, refuse to ask tough questions, and outright lie on his behalf. Media bias is nothing new, but this is not "media bias." This is fascism.

Posted by: JoeyBagels at September 30, 2013 01:20 PM (04/8E)

297

273...While the number of lies he tells varies directly with the length of the speech, their brazenness varies inversely with same.

That's exactly what happened.

It was a short speech...full of whoppers and mischaracterizations.

He led off with saying that it was "the responsibility of Congress" to fund the government.

While true...it is also the responsibility of the President to sign a budget.

Posted by: wheatie at September 30, 2013 01:20 PM (61FoN)

298 Posted by: Hollowpoint

Yeah, must have been a spammer posting those pictures of my dick. I've decided to contact the BBB.

Posted by: Dr Spank at September 30, 2013 01:20 PM (9jLim)

299 So emo arm-slashing didn't even make the list this year? I don't think self-cutting counts as "surgery."

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) MFM Delenda Est at September 30, 2013 01:20 PM (/PCJa)

300 283 Posted by: hello, it's me also a creep-assed cracka.. at September 30, 2013 05:14 PM (9+ccr) Yes, this, real live PhD(c) is TAing a class and couldn't watch. Tsrblke. True moron. You get the platinum membership.

Posted by: Golfman in NC at September 30, 2013 01:21 PM (/djtm)

301 I am eating chocolate cake with warm chocolate sauce . It's delicious !

Posted by: CarolT at September 30, 2013 01:21 PM (eMP2S)

302 Obviously, I'm not really against gassing citizens. I do it all the time.

Today the BroncoBamaCare exchanges are open for business! All you young punks need to start signing up now!

It's really pissing me off that the most popular question on healthcare.gov today is "How do I get an exemption from the fee for not having health coverage?" (www.healthcare.gov/exemptions/) and NOT "I'm young, healthy, and smart enough to know I can sign up later if I get sick, but hey, how can I sign up now anyway to help pay for all the old sick geezers that need it now?"

So start clicking on the second question, morons.

Posted by: The Almighty Bronco Bama at September 30, 2013 01:21 PM (1I4sj)

303 You could easily trim 25% of the federal work force an not notice a god damned difference.

Welfare rolls would swell.

What, you didn't think they were going to get real jobs, did you?

Posted by: HeatherRadish™ needs a beer at September 30, 2013 01:21 PM (/kI1Q)

304 I am eating chocolate cake with warm chocolate sauce . It's delicious ! Share?

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) MFM Delenda Est at September 30, 2013 01:21 PM (/PCJa)

305

And here is our Number One Home Surgery

1. Self-circumcision.

Great.

Now Cigar Cutters are going to be taxed as Medical Devices.

Posted by: garrett at September 30, 2013 01:21 PM (NZ59h)

306 Well if the government shuts down I am going hunting for the elusive Jackalope.

Posted by: Marcus at September 30, 2013 01:22 PM (GGCsk)

307 Yes, this, real live PhD(c) is TAing a class and couldn't watch.

Posted by: tsrblke, PhD(c) (tablet) at September 30, 2013 05:17 PM (a8eFL)

Congratulations!

If you can make it to Hoboken by Friday evening, I'll buy.

[NY/NJ Moron Meet-up)

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at September 30, 2013 01:22 PM (/kU/5)

308 Ace, you're cracking me up on twitter.

Posted by: chique d'afrique (the artist formerly known as african chick) at September 30, 2013 01:22 PM (r+7wo)

309 Over 300 comments in under an hour? Good grief people. Lay off the coke.

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at September 30, 2013 01:22 PM (GEICT)

310 Shut down welfare and foodstamps and federal housing vouchers.

Posted by: Boss Moss former editor of the Harvard Law Review at September 30, 2013 01:22 PM (0axsw)

311 'If you like my speech, you can keep listening to my speech. If you don't, that's a drone strike.'

Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at September 30, 2013 01:23 PM (bc6Q/)

312 I'm waiting to flip a Vidalia Onion burger I have on the grill. I don't want to know how they infuse the cow carcass with the onion essence, but the end product is piquant and impertinent, in an accessible way.

Posted by: Lincolntf at September 30, 2013 01:23 PM (ZshNr)

313 Over 300 comments in under an hour?

Good grief people. Lay off the coke.

Behold the power of The Nap.

Posted by: toby928© at September 30, 2013 01:23 PM (evdj2)

314 Obama sure does love conferring with the press.

Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at September 30, 2013 01:23 PM (bc6Q/)

315 What, you didn't think they were going to get real jobs, did you?

Posted by: HeatherRadishÂ™ needs a beer at September 30, 2013 05:21 PM (/kI1Q)

Asiana is looking for pilots.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at September 30, 2013 01:23 PM (8ZskC)

316 313 Ace, you're cracking me up on twitter. Posted by: chique d'afrique

Rub it in why don't you.

Posted by: Dr Spank at September 30, 2013 01:23 PM (9jLim)

317 I've heard that a circumcision is very painful if you do it when you're an adult.

Posted by: Truck Monkey at September 30, 2013 01:23 PM (32Ze2)

318 Would circumcision count as short-arm slashing?

Posted by: OCBill at September 30, 2013 01:24 PM (rFipM)

319

There was no way I'd've listened to that piss-poor excuse for a man. I've forgotten more than he'll ever know about anything.

I do want teh Pubbies to start growing the beginnings of a pimple of a testicle and start parading all the people who've been directly harmed by OCare in front of the camera and start stating estimates of how much this is going to cost the economy and peoples' standard of living. The SCOAMF is vulnerable right now and he knows it, as evidenced by this presser.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit at September 30, 2013 01:24 PM (0HooB)

320 So, technophile morons- Anyone heard anything about the Lenovo MIIX 10?

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) MFM Delenda Est at September 30, 2013 01:24 PM (/PCJa)

321 And here is our Number One Home Surgery 1. Self-circumcision. Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit at September 30, 2013 05:18 PM (0HooB) ***** You laugh, but it won't be long now.

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at September 30, 2013 01:24 PM (N/Sup)

322 One would think in light of the Kenyan mall attack, Boko Haram's latest mass killing and all the other real hostage taking going on in the world, the President would drop that incendiary language (or more appropriately, tell the folks writing what he's going to read on his prompter not to use it). But, alas, it's easier to go for the red meat sound bite than to lead.

Posted by: dave at September 30, 2013 01:24 PM (8uzdZ)

323 What, you didn't think they were going to get real jobs, did you?

Posted by: HeatherRadishÂ™ needs a beer at September 30, 2013 05:21 PM (/kI1Q)

Asiana is looking for pilots.

Ho Lee Fuk, Dir. of Human Resources

Posted by: rickb223 at September 30, 2013 01:24 PM (d0Dmj)

324 And here is our Number One Home Surgery

1. Self-circumcision.

The Number Two Home Surgery is: Asshole Removal.

Also known as "divorce".

Posted by: Hollowpoint at September 30, 2013 01:24 PM (SY2Kh)

325 I don't have shitter.

Posted by: Boss Moss former editor of the Harvard Law Review at September 30, 2013 01:24 PM (0axsw)

326 I've heard that a circumcision is very painful if you do it when you're an adult. Posted by: Truck Monkey at September 30, 2013 05:23 PM (32Ze2) Just watching one hurts me

Posted by: Nevergiveup at September 30, 2013 01:24 PM (UbDLm)

327 I've heard that a circumcision is very painful if you do it when you're an adult. What's the quote from Genesis? "8 days later, while they were still in pain...?"

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) MFM Delenda Est at September 30, 2013 01:25 PM (/PCJa)

328 1. Self-circumcision.
Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit at September 30, 2013 05:18 PM (0HooB)

*****

You laugh, but it won't be long now.

"won't be long now"
Well played.

Posted by: rickb223 at September 30, 2013 01:25 PM (d0Dmj)

329 Pretty sure the quite boring meeting I've called into at work is more scintillating than the SCOAMF's speech. Huh. My autocorrect recognizes SCOAMF and capitalizes it for me.

Posted by: chique d'afrique, formerly Chelsea, now back to being an actual female at September 30, 2013 01:25 PM (r+7wo)

330 "308 You could easily trim 25% of the federal work force an not notice a god damned difference. Welfare rolls would swell. What, you didn't think they were going to get real jobs, did you? Posted by: HeatherRadishÂ™ " Actually at some level they would be forced to, over time. We could easily cut fully 50% of the federal workforce and be just fine, and likely cut more. Imagine all those people being forced to get productive useful private sector jobs, help the economy and thereby create more jobs. Instant economic recovery. Sure it would be painful for a lot and there will be a learning curve in there, I can live with that. I vote for it.

Posted by: Melvin Frohike at September 30, 2013 01:25 PM (sYLzD)

331

And here is our Number One Home Surgery

1. Self-circumcision.

And here I thought penis enlargement would be number one and its just the opposite.

Posted by: polynikes at September 30, 2013 01:25 PM (m2CN7)

332 I've heard that a circumcision is very painful if you do it when you're an adult.

It's a killer.

Posted by: The men of Shechem at September 30, 2013 01:26 PM (evdj2)

333 Clinton is on TV everywhere going after the Republicans. Does anyone remember any President, even Carter getting so involved in Politics like that? What a classless SOB.

Posted by: Nevergiveup at September 30, 2013 01:26 PM (UbDLm)

334 321 313 Ace, you're cracking me up on twitter. Posted by: chique d'afrique Rub it in why don't you. Posted by: Dr Spank at September 30, 2013 05:23 PM (9jLim) Google twitter @aceofspadesHQ and you should be able to read his tweets without being on twitter.

Posted by: [/i][/b][/u][/s] Tami at September 30, 2013 01:26 PM (bCEmE)

335 Just watching one hurts me

Posted by: Nevergiveup at September 30, 2013 05:24 PM (UbDLm)

_________________________

My FIL almost passed out when the mohel was working on the boy.

Posted by: Truck Monkey at September 30, 2013 01:26 PM (32Ze2)

336 I've heard that a circumcision is very painful if you do it when you're an adult. It's a killer. Posted by: The men of Shechem at September 30, 2013 05:26 PM (evdj2) ISWYDT

Posted by: chique d'afrique (the artist formerly known as african chick) at September 30, 2013 01:27 PM (r+7wo)

337 I've heard that a circumcision is very painful if you do it when you're an adult.
Posted by: Truck Monkey at September 30, 2013 05:23 PM (32Ze2)

For the ladies we offer Twilight Sleep option. That's chloroform, a pair of tin snips and five minutes.

Posted by: Islam at September 30, 2013 01:27 PM (8ZskC)

338 When I was in Vegas, I saw Cirque de Cumsicion, and I'll never get those images out of my mind.

Posted by: Lincolntf at September 30, 2013 01:27 PM (ZshNr)

339 Dr. Spank, PhD: Yeah. I'm not on any social media (unless LinkedIn can be classified as such). I follow his uproarious twitter feed on the web.

Posted by: chique d'afrique (the artist formerly known as african chick) at September 30, 2013 01:27 PM (r+7wo)

340 Sorry, Genesis 34:24-25: 24All who went out of the gate of his city listened to Hamor and to his son Shechem, and every male was circumcised, all who went out of the gate of his city. 25Now it came about on the third day, when they were in pain, that two of Jacob's sons, Simeon and Levi, Dinah's brothers, each took his sword and came upon the city unawares, and killed every male.Â…

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) MFM Delenda Est at September 30, 2013 01:29 PM (/PCJa)

341 Someone invent asocial media already.

Posted by: Boss Moss former editor of the Harvard Law Review at September 30, 2013 01:29 PM (0axsw)

342 "342 I've heard that a circumcision is very painful if you do it when you're an adult. Posted by: Truck Monkey at September 30, 2013 05:23 PM (32Ze2) For the ladies we offer Twilight Sleep option. That's chloroform, a pair of tin snips and five minutes. Posted by: Islam at September 30, 2013 05:27 PM (8ZskC) " Ah. The Bill Clinton special.

Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at September 30, 2013 01:29 PM (bc6Q/)

343 Re: ace's twitter feed. I'm glad I'm on mute.

Posted by: chique d'afrique (the artist formerly known as african chick) at September 30, 2013 01:29 PM (r+7wo)

344 "346 Someone invent asocial media already. Posted by: Boss Moss former editor of the Harvard Law Review at September 30, 2013 05:29 PM (0axsw) " What do you think Face Book and Twitter are?

Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at September 30, 2013 01:30 PM (bc6Q/)

345 Hungry.

Posted by: Boss Moss former editor of the Harvard Law Review at September 30, 2013 01:30 PM (0axsw)

346 I saw Self-circumcision open for Alice in Chains in '88.

Posted by: toby928© at September 30, 2013 01:30 PM (evdj2)

347 Posted by: Tami

Thanks.

Twitter customer service blows.

Posted by: Dr Spank at September 30, 2013 01:31 PM (9jLim)

348 "350 Hungry. Posted by: Boss Moss former editor of the Harvard Law Review at September 30, 2013 05:30 PM (0axsw) " What?

Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at September 30, 2013 01:31 PM (bc6Q/)

349 There are lies, damn lies and everything that Barry says

Posted by: TheQuietMan at September 30, 2013 01:32 PM (1Jaio)

350 Austria

Posted by: Truck Monkey at September 30, 2013 01:32 PM (32Ze2)

351 Lichtenstein

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) MFM Delenda Est at September 30, 2013 01:34 PM (/PCJa)

352 "354 There are lies, damn lies and everything that Barry says Posted by: TheQuietMan at September 30, 2013 05:32 PM (1Jaio) " 'He sure does know how to use his tongue, though.' -- Reggie

Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at September 30, 2013 01:34 PM (bc6Q/)

353 Nood up

Posted by: rickb223 at September 30, 2013 01:35 PM (d0Dmj)

354 "358 Nood up Posted by: rickb223 at September 30, 2013 05:35 PM (d0Dmj) " Thanks. :-)

Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at September 30, 2013 01:35 PM (bc6Q/)

355 Senate passed by unanimous consent house bill paying military If govt does in fact shutdown,

Posted by: Barky at September 30, 2013 01:37 PM (nTgAI)

356 Lichtenstein

That's a made up country.

Posted by: toby928© at September 30, 2013 01:38 PM (evdj2)

357 Imagine all those people being forced to get productive useful private sector jobs, help the economy and thereby create more jobs. If they were capable of that, they wouldn't be gub'ment drones...

Posted by: Brother Cavil at September 30, 2013 01:41 PM (naUcP)

358 We have a budget.? I knew it! I told everyone CR stands for Carnival Rides. Just like in Peruvia. My favorite is the handsome carousel Peruvian unicorn.

Posted by: gracepmc at September 30, 2013 01:47 PM (rznx3)

359 That's a made up country. It's not a country at all. It's a town. Actually, it looks like it may be two towns- one in Saxony and one in Baden-WÃ¼rttemberg: both in Germany.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) MFM Delenda Est at September 30, 2013 01:47 PM (/PCJa)

360 "362 Imagine all those people being forced to get productive useful private sector jobs, help the economy and thereby create more jobs. If they were capable of that, they wouldn't be gub'ment drones... Posted by: Brother Cavil" I know it's a stretch but let's try and be optimistic. Large numbers of unemployed ex-state workers, long time, *some* of them will eventually learn to be productive in some way or other, it's just human nature. It will be very painful for them, but like I said, I can live with that.

Posted by: Melvin Frohike at September 30, 2013 01:51 PM (sYLzD)

361 301 Obama is a lying POS and the worst President--but remember he's a politician and he's going to do everything he can to sell whatever it is he's trying to sell. But it's the media job to try to trip him up and not let him get away with it, and all they do is fall over themselves to praise him, run interference and WILLFULLY distort, omit facts, refuse to ask tough questions, and outright lie on his behalf. Media bias is nothing new, but this is not "media bias." This is fascism. Posted by: JoeyBagels at September 30, 2013 05:20 PM (04/8E) The Media are pathogens.

Posted by: Diogenes' Lamp at September 30, 2013 01:51 PM (bb5+k)

362 Imagine all those people being forced to get productive useful private sector jobs,

1) What private sector jobs?
2) Why would they, when they can go on SSDI, or collect their pensions?

Posted by: HeatherRadish™ needs a beer at September 30, 2013 01:53 PM (/kI1Q)

363 "1) What private sector jobs? 2) Why would they, when they can go on SSDI, or collect their pensions? Posted by: HeatherRadishÂ™" Look I am talking best case here and trying to look at this glass half-full you know. Worst case and I am wrong and we cut the federal workforce by 60% and they all starve. Well at least we tried right?

Posted by: Melvin Frohike at September 30, 2013 01:55 PM (sYLzD)

364 I was elected to work for the American People.

Posted by: Your Moderate President at September 30, 2013 01:59 PM (dvRYt)

365 It's time to stop playing games.

Posted by: Your Moderate President at September 30, 2013 01:59 PM (dvRYt)

366 NO MORE BLAH, BLAH, BLAH!!!

Posted by: Captain James T Kirk at September 30, 2013 02:07 PM (Bs/XF)

367 cfuking Comcast. My internet connection keeps going down.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at September 30, 2013 02:10 PM (DmNpO)

368 276 Marcus: I hope you don't mind, but I copied that neat summary of Pressy's speech and sent it to Bill Nelson - who is, unfortunately, my senator. One of about five screeds I've sent him already.

Posted by: rabidfox at September 30, 2013 02:41 PM (Gejy0)

369 I think that both the President and Senate forget that the House of Representatives is elected every TWO years to represent the will of the American People. I have yet to determine who or what the Senate is supposed to represent.

Posted by: rabidfox at September 30, 2013 02:49 PM (Gejy0)

370 rabidfox @ 374-
The senate represents the federal government to the people. You're welcome.

Posted by: EROWMER at September 30, 2013 04:02 PM (OONaw)

371 Will the govt shutdown keep the people who can fix the glitches out of work?

Posted by: Tom at September 30, 2013 05:33 PM (wDQTE)

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