August 22, 2013

Oprah's New Dress Deftly Combines Negative Space and Glans
— Ace

Make it work.

This just in: That Swiss shopgirl just emailed me to say, "I told her not to buy it and she called me a racist."

From The Morning Spew.

Posted by: Ace at 02:43 PM | Comments (324)
Post contains 49 words, total size 1 kb.

1 DORK!

Posted by: filbert at August 22, 2013 02:45 PM (7vimm)

2 And such a feminine stance.  Jeeze, she looks like a linebacker.

Posted by: Dang at August 22, 2013 02:45 PM (Hx2XA)

3 Can't get it to load on my iPad. Maybe because its Oprah?

Posted by: baldilocks who really shouldn't be telling fat jokes at August 22, 2013 02:46 PM (Tnlh/)

4 That's Photoshop!

Posted by: Caffeine affected Reactionary at August 22, 2013 02:46 PM (h3fR3)

5 Is Oprah the new spokesperson for Tampax? 

Posted by: no good deed at August 22, 2013 02:46 PM (WmLrU)

6 She's trying to get Chuck Woolery's gig selling catheters.

Posted by: Dang at August 22, 2013 02:46 PM (Hx2XA)

7 ...and you people sneer at my shoes.

Posted by: HeatherRadish™ needs a beer at August 22, 2013 02:46 PM (/kI1Q)

8 To reiterate my comment about the Guiness ad: o_O

Posted by: rickl at August 22, 2013 02:46 PM (sdi6R)

9 Good god does that woman ever stop eating?

Posted by: Mr. Moo Moo at August 22, 2013 02:47 PM (HDgX3)

10 I wouldn't have occurred to me that her dress looked like a penis unless someone mentioned it. Some people spent too much time with Rorshach tests.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at August 22, 2013 02:47 PM (gTN+E)

11 What, it's just a unflattering dress I don't get what all the fuss....oh. oh my.

Posted by: Pretty, Pretty Princess Lauren at August 22, 2013 02:47 PM (ELdpj)

12 Ittsa opticale illusion. Makes her look like she's got a shape (other than round).

Posted by: Rufus T. Firefly at August 22, 2013 02:47 PM (uxi9i)

13 She needs to giant ball shoes to complete the outfit.

Posted by: Dang at August 22, 2013 02:47 PM (Hx2XA)

14 And why a penis? Why not say-a salt shaker?

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at August 22, 2013 02:48 PM (gTN+E)

15 "PENIS!"

Damn It.... Momma said I was supposed to always be a lady, and at least carry a pocket pistol.

Posted by: 2nd Amendment Mother at August 22, 2013 02:48 PM (L4CWX)

16 Chris Matthews: When people call Oprah, Oprah they really say they to return to slavery.

Posted by: Mr. Moo Moo at August 22, 2013 02:49 PM (HDgX3)

17 Say what you want about Oprah, her efforts in the field of Orca awareness are unparalleled.

Posted by: Lincolntf at August 22, 2013 02:49 PM (ZshNr)

18 A white penis, hmmmm.

Posted by: Tutu at August 22, 2013 02:49 PM (CpWI4)

19 No, that's a penis. Once you see it you can't unsee it.

Posted by: Pretty, Pretty Princess Lauren at August 22, 2013 02:49 PM (ELdpj)

20 Two words: Patterson Film

Posted by: Craig Poe at August 22, 2013 02:49 PM (BVkEs)

21 Ok, now, y'all gonna hafta pile on these snappy short blog posts 'cuz otherwise the blog owner will be going back to those provocative inflammatory posts that generate 800 comments.

Posted by: Caffeine affected Reactionary at August 22, 2013 02:49 PM (h3fR3)

22 Eerily evocative of pattern camouflage on a World War II destroyer... Excellent if you're trying to get a U-boat to miss with a torpedo.

Posted by: Mongoose at August 22, 2013 02:49 PM (DXfkx)

23 Don't look at me.  I told her not to go out like that. 

Posted by: The Butler at August 22, 2013 02:49 PM (WmLrU)

24 Wendy Davis had the dick arrow.Oprah has the dick dress.

Posted by: steevy at August 22, 2013 02:50 PM (9XBK2)

25 it's totally a penis.

Look at the top, the "neckline."

See that?


Posted by: ace at August 22, 2013 02:50 PM (/IWYB)

26 It took me a moment to get it, but yeah. lol! If I hear gloria allred one more time on the radio, I'm going to shoot myself.

Posted by: Victor/Victoria at August 22, 2013 02:50 PM (FnJUz)

27 And why a penis?

Why not?

*zzzip*

Posted by: Anthony Weiner at August 22, 2013 02:50 PM (d7tB2)

28 Oprah certainly does cast a big shadow. Wait, is that raaaaacist?

Posted by: Rufus T. Firefly at August 22, 2013 02:50 PM (uxi9i)

29 Stedman might be anemic.

Posted by: The New Republic at August 22, 2013 02:51 PM (r2PLg)

30 I'd hit . . .

I'd . . .

. . .

Fuck it, I'm going to go to a Royals game.

Posted by: filbert at August 22, 2013 02:51 PM (7vimm)

31 Is that gray section up top supposed to be a vulva of... some... sort... her face... *barf*

*baaarf*


*baaaaarf*

*baaarf*


Oh my gosh...

*BAAAAAAAAAAAAARF*

Posted by: Dang at August 22, 2013 02:51 PM (Hx2XA)

32 "Look at the top, the "neckline." See that?" No I did not,but now I do. Again, seen and can not be unseen.

Posted by: Pretty, Pretty Princess Lauren at August 22, 2013 02:52 PM (ELdpj)

33 Maybe, it's a Moorish window??

Posted by: Victor/Victoria at August 22, 2013 02:52 PM (FnJUz)

34 Posted by: ace at August 22, 2013 06:50 PM (/IWYB) Only if you're looking for one.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at August 22, 2013 02:52 PM (gTN+E)

35 Fame and money can't turn a race baiting blimp with legs into a real woman. I hope she has someone standing by with a tether to prevent her from entering air space.

Posted by: Angel with a sword at August 22, 2013 02:52 PM (4ypfR)

36 That better be a photoshop... Is she that dumb?

Posted by: shredded chi at August 22, 2013 02:52 PM (Ct4hC)

37 God forbid she gets a little Cinnabon frosting on her chin. 

Posted by: Tutu at August 22, 2013 02:52 PM (CpWI4)

38 10 I wouldn't have occurred to me that her dress looked like a penis unless someone mentioned it. Some people spent too much time with Rorshach tests. Posted by: FenelonSpoke at August 22, 2013 06:47 PM (gTN+E) I had some nice colorful pants that fit very well (not a mean feat for those of us who have back). Anyway, the design had apples cut in half so that the core was exposed. I didn't occur to me until someone else pointed it out that the apples looked like vaginas. (Hey, I'm not used to seeing them from that perspective.) I gave them to Sal's Army.

Posted by: baldilocks who really shouldn't be telling fat jokes at August 22, 2013 02:52 PM (Tnlh/)

39 Dresses by Carlos

Posted by: The New Republic at August 22, 2013 02:52 PM (r2PLg)

40 It's a white dick.

Posted by: Victor/Victoria at August 22, 2013 02:52 PM (FnJUz)

41 I wonder if Oprah calls that thing "Bradley?"

Posted by: filbert at August 22, 2013 02:52 PM (7vimm)

42 No, no, no!  Penises are out!  Tampons are the fashion statement of the day.

Posted by: WalrusRex at August 22, 2013 02:53 PM (XUKZU)

43 Oprah looks like a keyhole in search of a rather, uh, large key.

Posted by: Fritz at August 22, 2013 02:53 PM (KIHQS)

44 I think it's genius.  If you wear a dress with a giant penis on it, no will notice you are a racist. 

Posted by: no good deed at August 22, 2013 02:53 PM (WmLrU)

45 I didn't encounter any of them in Switzerland, but in Alpine Italy, France, yeah, very common. I'm referring of course to Napoleon's Footprints. That variety of European toilet that consists of a hole in the ground over which one positions oneself in a squatting position to pass whatever it is one needs to pass. It is, of course, a tremendously sexist device, because the posture women are forced to assume in order to hit the bullseye whilst voiding the bladder is a bit uncomfortable, not to mention comical. Exactly like Oprah's posture in this picture, in fact.

Posted by: JEM at August 22, 2013 02:53 PM (o+SC1)

46 Damn does she looks hot in that dress!

Does that mean I'm gay?

Posted by: forest at August 22, 2013 02:54 PM (stMuz)

47 The only thing missing is a pearl necklace.

Posted by: Craig Poe at August 22, 2013 02:54 PM (BVkEs)

48 So with that dress Oprah's trying to say she's a skinny grey chick stuck in a chubby black woman's body?

Posted by: [/i]andycanuck[/b] at August 22, 2013 02:55 PM (joFbZ)

49 The only thing missing is a pearl necklace.

Dude.

Posted by: ZZ Top at August 22, 2013 02:55 PM (7vimm)

50 And why a penis? Why not say-a salt shaker?

That should be obvious even to New Yorkers.

Posted by: Nanny Bloomberg at August 22, 2013 02:55 PM (/kI1Q)

51 She's so feminine and sexy. I wish she'd do a Farah Fawcett-like poster

Posted by: Albie Damned, but you can call me Chelsy at August 22, 2013 02:55 PM (Yhu4q)

52 It goes well with the flesh-tone Truck Nutz on her Bentley.

Posted by: Gristle Encased Head at August 22, 2013 02:55 PM (+lsX1)

53
Heh.

Posted by: A Wiener at August 22, 2013 02:56 PM (uX+Qq)

54 Left wing scum like Oprah remind me that diabetes isn't always a bad thing.

Posted by: Flatbush Joe at August 22, 2013 02:56 PM (ZPrif)

55 28 it's totally a penis.Look at the top, the "neckline."See that? All that's missing is the pearl necklace.

Posted by: shredded chi at August 22, 2013 02:56 PM (Ct4hC)

56 I'd hit that.

Posted by: Moochzilla at August 22, 2013 02:56 PM (bufJH)

57 Giant white penis is the new black.  Oppression is all the rage this season.

Posted by: Anna Wintour at August 22, 2013 02:56 PM (WmLrU)

58 When did Oprah become a Viagra spokesperson?

Posted by: Barkimus at August 22, 2013 02:56 PM (61B4w)

59 @50 - if you need to ask, you already know the answer.

Posted by: JEM at August 22, 2013 02:56 PM (o+SC1)

60 >>> And why a penis? Why not say-a salt shaker?<<<<

You've got a dick shaped salt shaker?

Posted by: the guy that moves pianos for a living... at August 22, 2013 02:57 PM (E3gqr)

61 Are we sure this is legit? Kind of looks like a screen shot from an episode of South Park.

Posted by: Gristle Encased Head at August 22, 2013 02:57 PM (+lsX1)

62 Ke$ha has a jewelry line of penises. It's sold out. http://goo.gl/CPpPpw Dick is in!

Posted by: Victor/Victoria at August 22, 2013 02:57 PM (FnJUz)

63 I didn't occur to me until someone else pointed it out that the apples looked like vaginas. I can see why you would give them away if people thought that. I still think it says more about the person who made the comments than the actual outfit.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at August 22, 2013 02:57 PM (gTN+E)

64 'scuse madamoiselle.... the tent store is two blocks down on the left

Posted by: Swiss Shopkeeper at August 22, 2013 02:57 PM (Pr6hk)

65 Tit-fuck facials are the new black, apparently.

Posted by: JEM at August 22, 2013 02:57 PM (o+SC1)

66
   What a totally unflattering picture.

    Certainly hope it wasn't deliberate.

Posted by: irongrampa at August 22, 2013 02:57 PM (SAMxH)

67 "Open the pod bay doors Oprah"

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at August 22, 2013 02:58 PM (xDfWx)

68 It'll plump up even bigger when they find a place to plug in her extension cord.

Posted by: A Night Elf Mohawk at August 22, 2013 02:58 PM (7Lir4)

69 Hmmm...did Gayle King pick this dress OUT for her?

Posted by: Albie Damned, but you can call me Chelsey at August 22, 2013 02:58 PM (Yhu4q)

70 Boobie head

Posted by: Bertram Cabot Jr. at August 22, 2013 02:58 PM (QDk4A)

71 That's not a knife...

... no really, that's NOT a knife.

Posted by: Crocodile Dundee at August 22, 2013 02:58 PM (wVMeA)

72 Damn does she looks hot in that dress!

Does that mean I'm gay?
Posted by: forest


Maybe it's just a vocabulary problem.  Define, "hot."

Posted by: Dang at August 22, 2013 02:58 PM (Hx2XA)

73 That thing is so.... gray. It's like The Ghost of Penis Past.

Posted by: The New Republic at August 22, 2013 02:58 PM (r2PLg)

74 You've got a dick shaped salt shaker? No, I've got a old fashioned salt shaker.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at August 22, 2013 02:58 PM (gTN+E)

75 Might be a Shake-Weight product placement ad. Probably paid her a million bucks.

Posted by: Gristle Encased Head at August 22, 2013 02:58 PM (+lsX1)

76 And... Beat to the punchline again.

Posted by: shredded chi at August 22, 2013 02:58 PM (Ct4hC)

77 Better picture: http://goo.gl/CPpPpw Get a little dick for your loved one.

Posted by: Victor/Victoria at August 22, 2013 02:58 PM (FnJUz)

78 Dresses by Carlos Worf.

Posted by: [/i]andycanuck[/b] at August 22, 2013 02:58 PM (joFbZ)

79 It is like she is some kind of fucked up super hero spoof.

"I am CockWoman!!"

Posted by: the guy that moves pianos for a living... at August 22, 2013 02:59 PM (E3gqr)

80 And I thought *I* assumed a wide stance!

Posted by: Larry Craig at August 22, 2013 02:59 PM (bufJH)

81 When did Oprah become a Viagra spokesperson?

Posted by: Barkimus

I don't think she's that hard up for money.

Posted by: weft cut-loop [/i] [/b] at August 22, 2013 02:59 PM (hSwFv)

82 Looks like this guy @DylanBleier, a white liberal fascist, was behind the hate crime hoaxes at Oberlin. Also, Oberlin called the FBI to investigate -- even though they already knew it was a couple of white Obama (OFA members) activists who did it. Shameless, lying scum.

Posted by: Flatbush Joe at August 22, 2013 02:59 PM (ZPrif)

83 "Open the pod bay doors Oprah"
Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD)

In space,  no one can hear you golf clap.

Posted by: Dang at August 22, 2013 03:00 PM (Hx2XA)

84 Ahhh, the "Death Star Cotillion" spring line has arrived, I see.

Posted by: Beau Jest at August 22, 2013 03:00 PM (IRAqv)

85 And why a penis?

Why not?

Why not Zoidberg?

Posted by: Zoidberg at August 22, 2013 03:00 PM (YEelc)

86 It's her costume for: HalloWeeny. (exits--stage right)

Posted by: The New Republic at August 22, 2013 03:00 PM (r2PLg)

87 The balls on her!

Posted by: WalrusRex at August 22, 2013 03:00 PM (XUKZU)

88 So would this be the elusive 'latent heterosexuality?'

Posted by: weft cut-loop [/i] [/b] at August 22, 2013 03:00 PM (hSwFv)

89 @66 - oddly enough, given the opportunity I'd hit Ke$ha like, well: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_wT1xkRpCKk

Posted by: JEM at August 22, 2013 03:00 PM (o+SC1)

90 Nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh. Nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh. Nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh. MY CORONA!!

Posted by: The Knack at August 22, 2013 03:01 PM (V3kRK)

91 Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by: Gayle King at August 22, 2013 03:01 PM (wVMeA)

92 The empress has no clothes.
Or no unflattering clothes, I guess....

Posted by: HRH Princess Fuzzy Bunny a/k/a Lizzy at August 22, 2013 03:01 PM (UrtRh)

93 I've got an old salt shaker too, but it ain't shaped like a dick.

Posted by: the guy that moves pianos for a living... at August 22, 2013 03:01 PM (E3gqr)

94 She looks like she could use a hug...  Where's Barney Frank?

Posted by: Former Congressman and Mayor Bob Filner at August 22, 2013 03:01 PM (Pr6hk)

95 (\/) ( ;,,; ) (\/)
Woop! Woop! Woop!

Posted by: [/i]andycanuck[/b] at August 22, 2013 03:02 PM (joFbZ)

96 This is what happens when everyone around you is afraid to tell you the truth.  

Gives new meaning to "do I look fat in this dress?"

Posted by: karl at August 22, 2013 03:02 PM (/b8+5)

97 I want to be a full member of the Oprah club too!

Posted by: logprof at August 22, 2013 03:02 PM (bufJH)

98 Big White Whale = Moby Dick = Big White Dick = Oprah. It all makes sense now...

Posted by: Victor/Victoria at August 22, 2013 03:03 PM (FnJUz)

99 "Does this dress make me look turgid?"

Posted by: the guy that moves pianos for a living... at August 22, 2013 03:03 PM (E3gqr)

100 The outfit would have been much better with the $38k nutsack the Swiss racists refused to sell her.

Posted by: forest at August 22, 2013 03:03 PM (stMuz)

101 That's retarded

Posted by: Rachel Jenteal at August 22, 2013 03:03 PM (Pr6hk)

102 Well, it's kinda understandable, I mean, how much familiarity does she have with dicks? Gail? Anybody?

Posted by: HRH Princess Fuzzy Bunny a/k/a Lizzy at August 22, 2013 03:03 PM (UrtRh)

103 67 I didn't occur to me until someone else pointed it out that the apples looked like vaginas. I can see why you would give them away if people thought that. I still think it says more about the person who made the comments than the actual outfit. Posted by: FenelonSpoke at August 22, 2013 06:57 PM (gTN+E) It was a man. Actually it's a gentleman who I care about greatly and vice versa. I like the fact that he said it. For some reason, most people are afraid to be honest with me. And those who know me well know I can be oblivious to such things. And they did look that way. I think the design was purposeful. It isn't as if the clothing design industry isn't obsessed with sexual equipment.

Posted by: baldilocks who really shouldn't be telling fat jokes at August 22, 2013 03:03 PM (Tnlh/)

104 The dress needs some fuzzy trim around the hem.

Posted by: Dang at August 22, 2013 03:03 PM (Hx2XA)

105
Eerily evocative of pattern camouflage on a World War II destroyer... Excellent if you're trying to get a U-boat to miss with a torpedo.

Posted by: Mongoose at August 22, 2013 06:49 PM (DXfkx)








Shut up, you h8ers, she's a history buff. It's a tribute to the Whitehead Torpedo.

http://tinyurl.com/l2ca8kv

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at August 22, 2013 03:04 PM (TIIx5)

106 We said "salt lick", Oprah. Salt *lick*.

Posted by: Flatbush Joe at August 22, 2013 03:04 PM (ZPrif)

107 Meh.  Oprah doesn't annoy me much because I really don't give a damn what she says.  And, she's living proof that just about anyone has a chance at becoming a billionaire in America.  However, the millions of brain-dead women who hang on her every utterance make me sick.

I won't fault the woman for her weight, or her poor taste in clothing, or her beard, Steadman.  Bless her heart.

Posted by: kathysaysso at August 22, 2013 03:04 PM (6H6o8)

108 Be careful, her minge has a gun, and isn't afraid to use it.

Posted by: jakeman at August 22, 2013 03:04 PM (GXKTh)

109 >>This is what happens when everyone around you is afraid to tell you the truth.


Two words: Michelle Obama.
How anyone can call that woman a fashion icon is mystifying. Part of fashion is understanding what clothes look good on you (not a hanger, not a model, but y.o.u.).

Posted by: HRH Princess Fuzzy Bunny a/k/a Lizzy at August 22, 2013 03:05 PM (UrtRh)

110 Oh dear Lord, I didn't see what you guys are seeing until just now.  I just thought you were pointing out how badly a multi millionaire can dress.   Geez gives new meaning to "the grey area"

Posted by: caustic at August 22, 2013 03:05 PM (/b8+5)

111 Now we'll observe the grey sperm whale in its natural habitat...

Crikey that's a big one.

Posted by: Steve Irwin at August 22, 2013 03:05 PM (Pr6hk)

112 ain't doin nuthin for ya...

Posted by: The Goggles at August 22, 2013 03:05 PM (XvHmy)

113 Posting pics of her or barky or Helen Thomas or anyone whose very existence is a blight on humanity ( feel free to grow the list, I should have tossed shrillery and a few hundred others but resisted we much) should be a clean the barrel offence.

Posted by: nothinglefttolose at August 22, 2013 03:06 PM (/tk/V)

114 >Whitehead Torpedo

new band name

Posted by: Jones in CO at August 22, 2013 03:06 PM (8sCoq)

115 Attention:

If you've just enetered this thread and would like accompanying music while reading the above comments, this will do:

http://youtu.be/P3jgs1363Es

Posted by: logprof at August 22, 2013 03:06 PM (bufJH)

116 I wouldn't hit it with Hillary's dick

Posted by: Bill from Chappaqua at August 22, 2013 03:07 PM (Pr6hk)

Posted by: RISKAY at August 22, 2013 03:07 PM (/Jg6b)

118 Posted by: andycanuck at August 22, 2013 07:02 PM

Thread winner.

Posted by: Nanny Bloomberg at August 22, 2013 03:07 PM (/kI1Q)

119 I think the design was purposeful. It isn't as if the clothing design industry isn't obsessed with sexual equipment. That's too bad, but then the fashion industry is mainly run by gay men so a penis dress so it might be part of a big joke. I doubt Oprah wore it thinking it it looked like a penis.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at August 22, 2013 03:08 PM (gTN+E)

120 If I wore a dress it would look like that.

Posted by: Barky O'Genius at August 22, 2013 03:08 PM (8ZskC)

121 You all know me. Y' know what I do for a livin'.

Dress like that? Swallow ya whole.

Posted by: Quint at August 22, 2013 03:08 PM (8sCoq)

122 Damn does she looks hot in that dress!

Does that mean I'm gay?

It means you're dead from the neck up.

Posted by: John P. Squibob at August 22, 2013 03:08 PM (wcP2i)

123 Brooklyn College spends $107,000 on outside design firm to ax supposedly phallic logo http://tinyurl.com/lavd5ea

I'm guessing she brought the dress before this article came out.


Posted by: caustic at August 22, 2013 03:08 PM (/b8+5)

124 Sea World called and wants its star attraction back.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at August 22, 2013 03:08 PM (8ZskC)

125 Dicks are big this season.

Posted by: Mike Hammer at August 22, 2013 03:09 PM (aDwsi)

126 This really provides new context for 'The Color Purple'

Posted by: Oliver Stone at August 22, 2013 03:09 PM (Pr6hk)

127 "Does this cock make my tits look fat?"

Posted by: Dept. Of Acuracy at August 22, 2013 03:09 PM (MhA4j)

128 There are some things money just cannot buy. 

Posted by: gracepmc at August 22, 2013 03:09 PM (rznx3)

129 Call me Pishmael.

Posted by: Orca Winfree [/i] [/b] at August 22, 2013 03:10 PM (hSwFv)

130 I have got to get me one of those.

Posted by: Bradlsea Manning at August 22, 2013 03:10 PM (VimQr)

131 That's the problem with being one of the wealthiest women on the planet. No one will tell you when you look like an idiot.


Posted by: Merv Griffin at August 22, 2013 03:10 PM (p5coh)

132 Oprah learned how to tuck her scrotum from Chelsea Manning.

Posted by: Fritz at August 22, 2013 03:10 PM (KIHQS)

133 That is like "The Wire" of bad Oprah pictures.

Posted by: Kensington at August 22, 2013 03:10 PM (/AHDz)

134 Why is she wearing a circumcised dick?  Does she love Jooos?

Posted by: Roger Waters, Self-Appointed Advisor to the Jooos at August 22, 2013 03:10 PM (8ZskC)

135 I doff my hat to the designer that tricked Oprah into wearing a dress with THAT on the front. 

What do you think she paid for it?  $3,000? 

What a racket!

Posted by: bonhomme at August 22, 2013 03:10 PM (8ifMA)

136 I don't think the heavy stuff will come down for quite a while

Posted by: Carl Spackler at August 22, 2013 03:11 PM (Pr6hk)

137 Whether it was intended as dick dress or not the effect was meant to take away from her large hips and emphasize her breasts, but with all her money and the ability to hire fashion consultants if she wanted to, surely she could have found something more flattering.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at August 22, 2013 03:11 PM (gTN+E)

138 I'm not weighing in on this until Norm McDonald figures this out for me .

Posted by: Bill D. Cat at August 22, 2013 03:11 PM (0iJzo)

139 Hah! When she inhales, it throbs......


eeeeewwwww

Posted by: the guy that moves pianos for a living... at August 22, 2013 03:11 PM (E3gqr)

140 Is Oprah coming or going?

Posted by: HRH Princess Fuzzy Bunny a/k/a Lizzy at August 22, 2013 03:11 PM (UrtRh)

141 It's a man, baby!

Posted by: Austin Powers at August 22, 2013 03:11 PM (hpYnL)

142 That dress makes her ass look big.

Posted by: UWP at August 22, 2013 03:11 PM (vj51i)

143 In-hospital circumcisions for newborn boys in the USA have fluctuated over the past three decades, but the overall percentage declined by 10% from 1979 to 2010, a new government report shows.
http://tinyurl.com/kenx654

Posted by: caustic at August 22, 2013 03:11 PM (/b8+5)

144 I'd hit it.

Posted by: Carlos Danger at August 22, 2013 03:11 PM (Aif/5)

145 Brooklyn College spends $107,000 on outside design firm to ax supposedly phallic logo http://tinyurl.com/lavd5ea
I'm guessing she brought the dress before this article came out.


Posted by: caustic


Have they ever seen an actual penis?

Posted by: Dang at August 22, 2013 03:11 PM (Hx2XA)

146 Which one of you mullets is man enough to fully service Oprah?

Posted by: Buck Longrod at August 22, 2013 03:11 PM (rLMhe)

147 My eyes, my eyes

Posted by: Dick Hertz at August 22, 2013 03:11 PM (Pr6hk)

148 That's part of a set.  Barry has the tux that goes with it.

Posted by: Reggie Love at August 22, 2013 03:12 PM (bufJH)

149 109
Eerily evocative of pattern camouflage on a World
War II destroyer... Excellent if you're trying to get a U-boat to miss
with a torpedo.

Posted by: Mongoose at August 22, 2013 06:49 PM (DXfkx)

Shut up, you h8ers, she's a history buff. It's a tribute to the Whitehead Torpedo.

More like "place torpedo here" than "bet you can't tell I'm a destroyer!" look to me...'sides' it's not all splintery...

Posted by: xformed at August 22, 2013 03:12 PM (6eYDl)

150 This is the 2nd post today that could use some moar King Missile.

Posted by: HRH Princess Fuzzy Bunny a/k/a Lizzy at August 22, 2013 03:12 PM (UrtRh)

151 111 Meh. Oprah doesn't annoy me much because I really don't give a damn what she says. And, she's living proof that just about anyone has a chance at becoming a billionaire in America. However, the millions of brain-dead women who hang on her every utterance make me sick. I won't fault the woman for her weight, or her poor taste in clothing, or her beard, Steadman. Bless her heart. Posted by: kathysaysso at August 22, 2013 07:04 PM (6H6o Not so many hang on her word since she played John the Baptist to BHO's Jesus, but her fall began long before that. I recall one of her shows where she got into an argument with a member of her audience. The audience member said that there was only one way to God: through Jesus Christ. But Oprah shut her down, saying that there couldn't possibly be just one way. That's when a lot of people stopped watching her show.

Posted by: baldilocks who really shouldn't be telling fat jokes at August 22, 2013 03:12 PM (Tnlh/)

152 146 That dress makes her ass look big.



Her ass makes her ass look big.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at August 22, 2013 03:12 PM (lVPtV)

153 There are eleventy million chicks who'd look absolutely great in a dick-dress. Oprah ain't one of 'em.

Posted by: JEM at August 22, 2013 03:12 PM (o+SC1)

154 As an accessory the ensemble includes a strap-on, which she apparently forgot to strap on.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at August 22, 2013 03:12 PM (8ZskC)

155 OK....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PYwiwbgMusY

I had to.  You're welcome!

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at August 22, 2013 03:12 PM (lxD2I)

156 Free Willy?

Posted by: Dang at August 22, 2013 03:13 PM (Hx2XA)

157 Needs. Moar. Foreskin.

Posted by: Barack Hussein Obama at August 22, 2013 03:13 PM (/Jg6b)

158 New Styles Trending Up for Vogue: Skeleton Bone Print on Black Bodysuit

Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at August 22, 2013 03:13 PM (eHIJJ)

159 Flying.  Second to the right, and straight on till morning.

Posted by: Orca Winfree [/i] [/b] at August 22, 2013 03:13 PM (hSwFv)

160 Now she just needs a hat that squirts mayonnaise.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at August 22, 2013 03:13 PM (8ZskC)

161 If you'll excuse me, I'll be Bing Imaging "apples" for a little bit.

For a friend.

Posted by: [/i]andycanuck[/b] at August 22, 2013 03:13 PM (joFbZ)

162 That dress makes her ass look big.



Her ass makes her ass look big.

Posted by: Jane D'oh


New York makes her ass look big.

Posted by: Dang at August 22, 2013 03:14 PM (Hx2XA)

163 I see the Princess (113) beat me to it.

And apples look like vaginas? I'll look at them differently now. I'm not sure I am happy with my new enlightenment.

Are you sure it is not the other way around?

And lastly, sock off.


Posted by: West at August 22, 2013 03:14 PM (p5coh)

164 Hah! When she inhales, it throbs...... ***** You should have seen the looks at the restaurant when she spilled Tapioca pudding on it

Posted by: Dept. Of Acuracy at August 22, 2013 03:14 PM (MhA4j)

165 I have a dream where my children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the size of their titty-fucker.

Posted by: Lurking Canuck at August 22, 2013 03:14 PM (jkXbz)

166

*Dials Phone*

Get me 100K Penis dresses, stat!

Posted by: Lane Bryant at August 22, 2013 03:14 PM (YAGV/)

167 Oprah Winfrey is a soul sucking monster!! She also looks like she needed help with a huge shoehorn to squeeze into that dress.

Posted by: Puddleglum at August 22, 2013 03:14 PM (D1p3J)

168 I think she looks fabulous! Just wait until Anna Wintour gets her photoshop department working overtime on O.

Posted by: Lindsey Graham at August 22, 2013 03:14 PM (y5bPZ)

169 Looks like the headpin after 8 pitchers of beer at midnight bowling.

Posted by: The Third Worfman Of The Apocalypse at August 22, 2013 03:14 PM (Dwehj)

170 Did she have that dress for more than eight days? That dress doesn't seem to have the right cut.

Posted by: Have Mohel Will Travel at August 22, 2013 03:14 PM (mETGQ)

171 I'd love to give Oprah a hug after all the hate she's received lately.

Posted by: Robert Filner at August 22, 2013 03:14 PM (Aif/5)

172 139 I doff my hat to the designer that tricked Oprah into wearing a dress with THAT on the front.
xx

They told her it was "color blocking" and that it would make her look "thin."

/honestly, I didn't see it at first either. Someone should have Told Her.  But then again.....

Posted by: shibumi at August 22, 2013 03:15 PM (25HWz)

173 Those heels are working overtime.

Posted by: garrett at August 22, 2013 03:15 PM (/Jg6b)

174 She should stay away from the water, she may get harpooned. Just a word of advice.

Posted by: real joe at August 22, 2013 03:15 PM (5wsCu)

175 Nutri-System has a new spokesperson.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at August 22, 2013 03:15 PM (xDfWx)

176 Later on that day she ate a live seal.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at August 22, 2013 03:15 PM (8ZskC)

177 ..... I'm pretty sure Norm's first take on this is " It's a cock ! "

Posted by: Bill D. Cat at August 22, 2013 03:15 PM (0iJzo)

178 That's too bad, but then the fashion industry is mainly run by gay men so a penis dress so it might be part of a big joke. I doubt Oprah wore it thinking it it looked like a penis. Posted by: FenelonSpoke at August 22, 2013 07:08 PM (gTN+E) That was my point. The industry carefully camouflages such things and often the consumer doesn't notice it.

Posted by: baldilocks who really shouldn't be telling fat jokes at August 22, 2013 03:15 PM (Tnlh/)

179 "Look at the top, the "neckline."

See that?"

No I did not,but now I do. Again, seen and can not be unseen.

---

If you have the stomach for it, go look at her big toes in the peep-toe shoes. It looks to me like one is painted white and the other black. Would have been funnier if they were blue.

Posted by: Retread at August 22, 2013 03:15 PM (Oz+LZ)

180 Conclusion: Ace hates his readers.

Posted by: Mallamutt, RINO President for Life at August 22, 2013 06:47 PM (OWjjx)


Nahhhhhhhhhh.  He just doing his " entertain me monkeys " schtick.  *giggles*

Posted by: jem at August 22, 2013 03:15 PM (fM4kr)

181 If she wears it for more than four hours she has to call her doctor.....

Posted by: the guy that moves pianos for a living... at August 22, 2013 03:15 PM (E3gqr)

182 Oh dear Lord, I didn't see what you guys are seeing until just now. Glad to know it wasn't just me.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at August 22, 2013 03:16 PM (gTN+E)

183 I saw Whitehead Torpedo open for Cream in 1968.

Posted by: Mike Hammer at August 22, 2013 03:16 PM (aDwsi)

184 When the crowd applauded she laid down on her side and flapped her fin.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at August 22, 2013 03:16 PM (8ZskC)

185 I doubt Oprah pays for most of her clothes.

Posted by: Victor/Victoria at August 22, 2013 03:16 PM (FnJUz)

186 Her biggest fans:

http://tinyurl.com/lydacey

Posted by: Javems at August 22, 2013 03:16 PM (c8xU9)

187 That was my point. The industry carefully camouflages such things and often the consumer doesn't notice it. How adult of them.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at August 22, 2013 03:17 PM (gTN+E)

188 I really could not give any less of a fuck about oprah's dick dress. Can we talk about something else, like how the rain makes the grass grow?



i hate slow news days...

Posted by: GGE of the Moron Horde, NC Chapter at August 22, 2013 03:17 PM (yh0zB)

189 Where are you guys seeing this penis? I'm looking, I'm looking... No, I just don't see what you guys are all--oh my God Jesus God my eyes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by: jwpaine @PirateBallerina at August 22, 2013 03:17 PM (/lWM8)

190 Later on that day she ate a live seal. As long as she didn't blow one.

Posted by: penguin with car trouble at August 22, 2013 03:17 PM (VimQr)

191 Oprah's fashions courtesy of The House of Boner.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at August 22, 2013 03:17 PM (8ZskC)

192 They told her it was "color blocking" and that it would make her look "thin."

I reiterate.  What. A. Racket.

Good job chiseling $3,000 out of Oprah, designer.

Posted by: bonhomme at August 22, 2013 03:17 PM (8ifMA)

193 I'd hit it so hard she'd need Greenpeace to help her back into the water.

Posted by: Shamu at August 22, 2013 03:17 PM (/Jg6b)

194 It would make a great victoria's secret ad  "Look, no matter how far they've dropped or how big they are, we can bring em back up for ya"

Posted by: caustic at August 22, 2013 03:18 PM (/b8+5)

195 Those heels are working overtime. Posted by: garrett


Designed by a structural engineer.  With a doctorate in Designing Small Structures That Will Hold a Metric Shit Ton of Fat.

Posted by: Dang at August 22, 2013 03:18 PM (Hx2XA)

196 Somebody ask Salon and TNR: Do we have to start using "he" when discussing Oprah?
Or is she just trying this dick on for size?

Posted by: HRH Princess Fuzzy Bunny a/k/a Lizzy at August 22, 2013 03:18 PM (UrtRh)

197 @172 - no shoehorn was involved. It took 3000psi hydraulics. This is the 'before' pic. Where's the 'after'? I mean, that look on her face is recognition that she hears three zippers shedding teeth. Fifteen seconds after this pic she was standing there in her panties with shreds of this thing laying on the ground her.

Posted by: JEM at August 22, 2013 03:18 PM (o+SC1)

198 And notice the store behind her is called Hello Deli...

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at August 22, 2013 03:18 PM (xDfWx)

199 One thing I have learned from David Attenborough, Orcas are assholes.

The other thing I learned is that adult walruses are polar bear proof.

Posted by: the guy that moves pianos for a living... at August 22, 2013 03:18 PM (E3gqr)

200 Joe Camel is gettin some tonite .

Posted by: Bill D. Cat at August 22, 2013 03:19 PM (0iJzo)

201 I will remember this day for years.

The day I saw Oprah, standing like a lumberjack, in a penis dress.

It's seared, seared into my memory.

Posted by: bonhomme at August 22, 2013 03:19 PM (8ifMA)

202 Thar she blows!

Posted by: GnuBreed at August 22, 2013 03:19 PM (cHZB7)

203 Stricktly dickly.  From below her knees all the up to her throat.  Notice no balls there.

Posted by: jem at August 22, 2013 03:19 PM (fM4kr)

204 #155 I've said before that she's in the Rapid Enfuckening stage of her franchise life cycle. Not that she'll ever be wanting for anything material.

Posted by: Captain Hate on an iPhone at August 22, 2013 03:19 PM (/XvV5)

205 She looks huge!

Posted by: CarolT at August 22, 2013 03:19 PM (s0f54)

206 Accessories are key. She should've worn a pearl necklace.

Posted by: Y-not at August 22, 2013 03:20 PM (5H6zj)

207 Oprah's fashions courtesy of The House of Boner.
Posted by: Cicero


Vin De Boner

Posted by: Dang at August 22, 2013 03:20 PM (Hx2XA)

208 H8ers!!!!! She looks fabulous.

Posted by: Chelsea Manning at August 22, 2013 03:20 PM (Aif/5)

209 OMG, you can actually google "oprah's p***s dress" and it comes up.  That's what it's being called.

Posted by: caustic at August 22, 2013 03:20 PM (/b8+5)

210 >>>>Can we talk about something else<<<<

I'm watching "You Only Live Twice" on Netflix--Moneypenny is mighty damned cute in the WREN outfit.

Posted by: the guy that moves pianos for a living... at August 22, 2013 03:20 PM (E3gqr)

211 Aaaaand, three morons beat me to it.

Posted by: Y-not at August 22, 2013 03:20 PM (5H6zj)

212 She'll be bitching to the press about how she wasn't allowed to visit Shamu after Sea World closed.

Raaaaacccccciiiiiisssssst!!!!

Posted by: Jane D'oh at August 22, 2013 03:20 PM (lVPtV)

213 >Those heels are working overtime.

Posted by: garrett at August 22, 2013 07:15 PM (/Jg6b)



solid drop-forged unobtanium

Posted by: Jones in CO at August 22, 2013 03:20 PM (8sCoq)

214 Fifteen seconds after this pic she was standing there in her panties

One of my finest designs!

Posted by: Omar The Tentmaker at August 22, 2013 03:20 PM (Dwehj)

215 http://tinyurl.com/lxjf2vg

Good Lord!  She wore that dress on Letterman!

Posted by: kathysaysso at August 22, 2013 03:20 PM (6H6o8)

216 Here's someone who doesn't look like a dick but is one. Why is this guy even allowed to stay at the school? Because the school wants to push the narrative: http://tinyurl.com/katpfzj

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at August 22, 2013 03:21 PM (gTN+E)

217 Post Traumatic Dick Syndrome

Posted by: GnuBreed at August 22, 2013 03:21 PM (cHZB7)

218 Y-not: "Accessories are key. She should've worn a pearl necklace."

Eeewww.

Well played, though.

But eeewww.

Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at August 22, 2013 03:21 PM (eHIJJ)

219
Ugh.......Orca you could use my Thigh Master for a little tune-up.  Well, maybe a big tuneup with a lot of sport fucking to reduce the size of those monster thighs.

Posted by: Suzanne Somers at August 22, 2013 03:21 PM (pJF+c)

220 She got it at Maison du Big Ass Dick.

Posted by: Dang at August 22, 2013 03:21 PM (Hx2XA)

221 Is NBC going to have Krystal Ball do the commentary on this dress?

Posted by: Jinx the Cat at August 22, 2013 03:21 PM (l3vZN)

222 Does she have a pair of dickmittens to wear with that dress in winter?

Posted by: logprof at August 22, 2013 03:21 PM (bufJH)

223 Poor woman needs a shoulder rub .

Posted by: Bill D. Cat at August 22, 2013 03:22 PM (0iJzo)

224 Oprah's dress combines a smashing tea length skirt and a picture of a dildo.

Posted by: Vogue at August 22, 2013 03:22 PM (8ZskC)

225

Tired of buckles and  Velcro, Oprah orders a penis that can be removed with a simple zipper.

Posted by: garrett at August 22, 2013 03:22 PM (/Jg6b)

226 You didn't build that... Unless you're a certified tent maker

Posted by: Elizabeth Warren at August 22, 2013 03:23 PM (Pr6hk)

227 I'm watching "You Only Live Twice" on Netflix--Moneypenny is mighty damned cute in the WREN outfit.

Best autogyro in a movie goes to... YOLT.

Idiot's who say, "YOLO" hardest hit.

Posted by: bonhomme at August 22, 2013 03:23 PM (QehQP)

228 She should just go all the way with the imagery and wear- a pearl necklace.

Posted by: naturalfake the Mighty Tyrannosaurus Rex at August 22, 2013 03:23 PM (8nunQ)

229 Stedman looks at that dress and goes "Whoa!" and heads for Man Country.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at August 22, 2013 03:23 PM (lVPtV)

230 15 And why a penis? Why not say-a salt shaker? Posted by: FenelonSpoke at August 22, 2013 06:48 PM (gTN+E) Hello there fenelonspoke. I don't believe we've been formally introduced.

Posted by: Comedy at August 22, 2013 03:24 PM (47V1T)

231 141 Whether it was intended as dick dress or not the effect was meant to take away from her large hips and emphasize her breasts, but with all her money and the ability to hire fashion consultants if she wanted to, surely she could have found something more flattering. Maybe she did. Maybe that was the best they could do.

Posted by: real joe at August 22, 2013 03:24 PM (5wsCu)

232

That's not the 'Lumberjack' .

 That's 'Cocksure'.

Posted by: Derek Zoolander at August 22, 2013 03:24 PM (/Jg6b)

233 Maybe it's not a penis,  but a trailer hitch.  I heard that's how she takes Rosie O'Donnell to the lake.

Posted by: Dang at August 22, 2013 03:24 PM (Hx2XA)

234 What ever you do, don't tell her a joke while she's drinking some milk

Posted by: Shecky Soetoro at August 22, 2013 03:25 PM (Pr6hk)

235 She wears that on "shopping trips" with Gayle.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at August 22, 2013 03:25 PM (lVPtV)

236 [pauses film] Okay Adrian, now you see the Raider's Mike Linebacker get in position.  Which way do you cut?

Posted by: Coach Leslie Frazier at August 22, 2013 03:25 PM (bufJH)

237 All kidding aside, she's a big gal, but at least she has a waist. So either she has really amazing "shapewear" or she does some exercise or something. I wonder how big she is. I'm guessing a 16, but I invariably guess wrong on those sorts of things.

Posted by: Y-not at August 22, 2013 03:25 PM (5H6zj)

238 Oh, that dress is just hideous. I'd have to have that thing surgically removed if it was on me.

Posted by: Chelsea Manning at August 22, 2013 03:25 PM (8nunQ)

239 One thing is for certain. They haven't built the trampoline yet that can hold her.

Posted by: Jinx the Cat at August 22, 2013 03:25 PM (l3vZN)

240

Okra uses an electrified pink dildo inscribed with Bronco Bama's name in gold leaf. 

To Orca with Love, Bronco. 

Posted by: Doctor Fish at August 22, 2013 03:25 PM (pJF+c)

241 @234 - Steadman looks at that dress, turns around, drops trou, and says "ready to go diving hon?"

Posted by: JEM at August 22, 2013 03:26 PM (o+SC1)

242 What ever you do, don't tell her a joke while she's drinking some milk

Not a happy ending.

Posted by: Omar The Tentmaker at August 22, 2013 03:26 PM (Dwehj)

243 Where can I get a bucket of seafood?

Posted by: Oprah Winfrey at August 22, 2013 03:26 PM (8ZskC)

244

The Orca dress...

 

Now it's official.

Orca Winfrey is actually *trying* to look like a killer whale.

 

Which is really a type of dolphin.

A giant rapey, killer dolphin.

 

I'm sure there's a joke in there somewhere.

 

Posted by: wheatie at August 22, 2013 03:26 PM (el7k2)

245 >>Oh, that dress is just hideous. And yet it's still better than 90% of the crap FLOTUS wears, imho.

Posted by: Y-not at August 22, 2013 03:26 PM (5H6zj)

246 I wouldn't hit that even with Carlos Dangerous's dick.

Posted by: Gmac - Pondering the coming implosion at August 22, 2013 03:27 PM (IanLz)

247 "So either she has really amazing "shapewear"" Full body Spanx

Posted by: Pretty, Pretty Princess Lauren at August 22, 2013 03:27 PM (ELdpj)

248 I dream of ones that big when I sleep on Fire Island

Posted by: Anderson Cooper at August 22, 2013 03:27 PM (Pr6hk)

249 #220 I assume that gap toothed dicknose didn't say anything about it (no way I'm watching the clip) since he's the worst interviewer in the world and only use them to talk about himself.

Posted by: Captain Hate on an iPhone at August 22, 2013 03:28 PM (/XvV5)

250 Killer whale chic influenced by an Anthony Weiner sensibility.

Posted by: Vogue at August 22, 2013 03:28 PM (8ZskC)

251 After The Late Show, Oprah returned home to the moon to dance with Willzyx and the rest of her relatives.

Posted by: garrett at August 22, 2013 03:28 PM (/Jg6b)

252 Wait for it. Wait for it. Ok. She was hacked! Hahahahahaha. What dumb bitch.

Posted by: Creams of my father at August 22, 2013 03:28 PM (hemD9)

253
Orca competed with Serena for the coveted Miami Dolphin linebacker position, but lost out in the first round due to lack of speed, bad hands, and weighty udders.

Posted by: Doctor Fish at August 22, 2013 03:28 PM (pJF+c)

254 Something to chase that image away
http://www.ufunk.net/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/ufunk-selection-du-weekend-31-40.jpg

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at August 22, 2013 03:29 PM (xDfWx)

255 Gentlemen, we have a winner!!!

Posted by: Folsom Street Parade Float Committee at August 22, 2013 03:29 PM (Dwehj)

256 The dress is the lead story on Twitchy

Posted by: Paul Ruebens at August 22, 2013 03:29 PM (Pr6hk)

257 It's a shame she didn't wear her crazy 'fro wig with this (see this month's Oprah cover). It would make to top of her dress look all splodey.

Posted by: HRH Princess Fuzzy Bunny a/k/a Lizzy at August 22, 2013 03:29 PM (UrtRh)

258 Damn, that's the biggest fucking candiru I've ever seen.

Posted by: logprof at August 22, 2013 03:30 PM (bufJH)

259 I'd hit that so hard, she'd cough up her penguin pâte hors d'oeuvres.

Posted by: Fritz at August 22, 2013 03:30 PM (KIHQS)

260 Oh, Mingey...it stinks in here!

Posted by: Gary at August 22, 2013 03:31 PM (/Jg6b)

261 If she's in New York, all she needs is an 'I ♥ Weiner' button and the ensemble is complete.

Posted by: Sort-of-Mad Max at August 22, 2013 03:31 PM (DLu2s)

262 Oprah is wearing the traditional garb of the pivot person on the human centipede.

Posted by: Ammo Dump at August 22, 2013 03:32 PM (GgPam)

263 That ass makes that dress look big.

Posted by: Creams of my father at August 22, 2013 03:32 PM (hemD9)

264 Oprah endorses Weiner in NYC Mayoral Race

Posted by: Alt Headlines at August 22, 2013 03:32 PM (/Jg6b)

265 Hue Jass was the designer of Oprah's penis dress.

Posted by: Barkimus at August 22, 2013 03:32 PM (61B4w)

266 Ok, the designer is Escada, the dress is called Dolma. 

This page has a picture of it on a model that's not Oprah-sized:
http://www.oohlalablog.com/celebrity-style/2013/08/oprah/

Not bad with your hair covering the "head".

Posted by: bonhomme at August 22, 2013 03:33 PM (QehQP)

267
I'd ride Oprah like a young boy with his first sybian.

Posted by: Pvt Bradley Manning at August 22, 2013 03:33 PM (pJF+c)

268 Come over to Cape Canaveral and visit me, baby; you standing next to me will make me look slimmer!

Posted by: Atlas V Booster Rocket at August 22, 2013 03:33 PM (DLu2s)

269

Not bad with your hair covering the "head".

 

 

Glans, please.

Posted by: garrett at August 22, 2013 03:33 PM (/Jg6b)

270

Orcas hate...great white sharks.

 

Packs of Orcas have been known to gang up on a great white...

They beat them up, then eat their liver.

 

 

Posted by: wheatie at August 22, 2013 03:33 PM (el7k2)

271 I wear a t-shirt with a vaginia on it and my wife makes me take it off before I leave the house. Posted by: Mallamutt, RINO President for Life at August 22, 2013 07:26 PM (OWjjx)



So she has no fashion sense at all, huh?

Posted by: GGE of the Moron Horde, NC Chapter at August 22, 2013 03:34 PM (yh0zB)

272 ...and no love for the Zoolander sock.  I swear, it's like sometimes I don't even know you people in a box.

Posted by: garrett at August 22, 2013 03:34 PM (/Jg6b)

273 DAT ASS!

Posted by: Gayle King at August 22, 2013 03:35 PM (lVPtV)

274 Dolma is a family of stuffed vegetable dishes common ...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dolma

Can't make this stuff up....

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at August 22, 2013 03:35 PM (xDfWx)

275 I don't know where you perverts get the idea I did that deliberately!

Posted by: Mr. Dickley, Big Willy Fashion Designs, Inc. at August 22, 2013 03:35 PM (DLu2s)

276 The runway version is better b/c it doesn't have that two-toned grey shit that is key to the weener shape.

Posted by: Y-not at August 22, 2013 03:35 PM (5H6zj)

277 >>>> I wear a t-shirt with a vaginia on it<<<

You've got a shirt with a pic of Obama?

She's right not to let you wear it out....

Posted by: the guy that moves pianos for a living... at August 22, 2013 03:36 PM (E3gqr)

278 Good Lord! She wore that dress on Letterman!
Did it look better on him?

Posted by: [/i]andycanuck[/b] at August 22, 2013 03:36 PM (joFbZ)

279 251 >>Oh, that dress is just hideous. And yet it's still better than 90% of the crap FLOTUS wears, imho. Posted by: Y-not at August 22, 2013 07:26 PM (5H6zj) Yep. Most of the stuff Oprah wears is nice and compliments her size. I bet she got the boot from the Obamas for trying to give MO some much-needed fashion advice.

Posted by: baldilocks who really shouldn't be telling fat jokes at August 22, 2013 03:36 PM (Tnlh/)

280 ) 281 Dolma is a family of stuffed vegetable dishes common ...  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dolma  Can't make this stuff up.... 
Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at August 22, 2013 07:35 PM (xDfWx)

The "stuffed" dress.... Well.  

Posted by: ConservativeMonster at August 22, 2013 03:36 PM (v3pYe)

281 It's to promote her new "film" title as yet undecided between, Orca: the Attack of The Killer Shlong Or Orca 2016: Erections Do Matter

Posted by: ontherocks at August 22, 2013 03:37 PM (rDGhM)

282 Does she have a pair of dickmittens to wear with that dress in winter?
No. Earmuffs.

Posted by: [/i]andycanuck[/b] at August 22, 2013 03:37 PM (joFbZ)

283 Has Orca commented on the black kid shooting the white/hispanic baby in the face?

Has she commented on the three thugs on the FL school bus stomping nearly to death the white kid?

Has she commented on the thugs in OK shooting the Aussie student in the back?

Yawn.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at August 22, 2013 03:37 PM (lVPtV)

284 New thread up.  

Posted by: ConservativeMonster at August 22, 2013 03:39 PM (oY6Yp)

285 290 Has Orca commented on the black kid shooting the white/hispanic baby in the face? Has she commented on the three thugs on the FL school bus stomping nearly to death the white kid? Has she commented on the thugs in OK shooting the Aussie student in the back? Yawn. Posted by: Jane D'oh at August 22, 2013 07:37 PM (lVPtV) Of course not.

Posted by: baldilocks at August 22, 2013 03:39 PM (Tnlh/)

286 Ogre really isn't talented at any thing. Kind of clumsy. Boring voice. Pedantic speaking style. Very ugly. Inside and out. Rather it is her utter failure that makes her a success. For the same reason Hillary is the front runner for the donks 2016 hopes, Ogre is the highest paid female personality. Because she is so detestable, women feel ok following her, because she is not a threat. No woman anywhere at anytime ever thought "oh shit there go Ogre gonna steal my man." The same can be said of Hillary.

Posted by: Creams of my father at August 22, 2013 03:40 PM (hemD9)

287 I'm sure she almost fired her assistant who was categorically against teaming this dress with a white pearl neckless...

Posted by: The Dude at August 22, 2013 03:41 PM (/jmMj)

288 necklace...sigh

Posted by: The Dude at August 22, 2013 03:41 PM (/jmMj)

289 Is that Oprah or Troy Polamalu?

Posted by: Thorrison at August 22, 2013 03:42 PM (GdUWB)

290 Posted by: caustic at August 22, 2013 07:05 PM (/b8+5)

Says s/h/it of the gay porn. 

Posted by: jem at August 22, 2013 03:42 PM (fM4kr)

291

Didn't the shop girl tell Oprah  that the dress made her look like 5 pounds of potatoes in a two pound bag?  Sheesh that's an ugly look--unless you're going for the fat f@#k award.

 

 

 

Posted by: Comanche Voter at August 22, 2013 03:52 PM (RZP0w)

292 No doubt it still cost $38,000 dollars.

Posted by: Trevor (@TJexcite) at August 22, 2013 03:57 PM (xqZMF)

293 That's it. From now on she's Orca Winfrey to me.
She's got the dough, she can get that stomach stapling thing and some serious lipo. I don't care how busy you are, try a ten minute walk every day and eat some vegetables instead of the mac and cheese once in a while.

Posted by: vivi at August 22, 2013 04:02 PM (+/8mE)

294 Now I know what happened to Free Willie's corpse.

Posted by: Marcus at August 22, 2013 04:03 PM (RDnLo)

295 Well, Oprah is something of a huge dick, so why not admit it...

Posted by: Null at August 22, 2013 04:05 PM (xjpRj)

296 That looks like a giant penis.  A white one at that.  Am I a racist pig for noticing?

Posted by: timothyjp at August 22, 2013 04:15 PM (0LB6+)

297 297 Posted by: caustic at August 22, 2013 07:05 PM (/b8+5)

Says s/h/it of the gay porn.

Posted by: jem at August 22, 2013 07:42 PM (fM4kr)

114 Oh dear Lord, I didn't see what you guys are seeing until just now. I just thought you were pointing out how badly a multi millionaire can dress. Geez gives new meaning to "the grey area"

Posted by: caustic at August 22, 2013 07:05 PM (/b8+5)

It's sort of rude not to quote.  What's wrong, you don't like honest reactions.  I was actually loling when I typed that and others were like "ooo I didn't see that either".   The entire episode is in that thread.  It was not labeled "ghey pron" by me or my friend who sent it to me.  The apology is there.  It's been what two years, when you going to move along?

Posted by: caustic at August 22, 2013 04:20 PM (/b8+5)

298 Been hunting for the designer.  Guess no one wants to own up to the dress.

Posted by: caustic at August 22, 2013 04:21 PM (/b8+5)

299 Like you say - I always did think, no matter what she was wearin', she always came off like a real dick -

Usually hangin' with some big nuts, too...

"Gives new meaning to "do I look fat in this dress?"..."

Only, in her case, it's more the other way 'round: "Do I look dressed in this fat?"


Posted by: J.S.Bridges at August 22, 2013 04:23 PM (0ubYu)

300 I must commend the airship owners for the outstanding paint job. Which sponsor was it, again?

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars[/i][/b][/s] at August 22, 2013 04:31 PM (XvQlt)

301 I was was gonna say she looked like a walking, talking Oreo cookie. After reading the first few dozen comments and scrolling back to the picture, yes, she looks like a penis.

Posted by: Bill R. at August 22, 2013 04:31 PM (ePvGg)

302 She couldn't have worn a less flattering dress if she went and did it on purpose!

Posted by: rabidfox at August 22, 2013 04:42 PM (Gejy0)

303 Daily reminder: This bitch has more money than you, your entire family, and all your friends will ever earn, combined.

Posted by: Yep at August 22, 2013 04:46 PM (6sqK6)

304 Hey Oprah, once you go white, you will be right, fat fucking penis dress waring bitch. Haha you are a BF joke

Posted by: Misanthropic humanitarian, now with 50% more sensitivity at August 22, 2013 05:12 PM (HVff2)

305

All right. We know that's you Ving Rhames!

Posted by: Pug Mahon, feeling urpy at August 22, 2013 05:21 PM (6rcHp)

306 *denounces self*

Posted by: Pug Mahon, feeling urpy at August 22, 2013 05:21 PM (6rcHp)

307 No brains  +  lots and lots of money sitll ='s 0 but in her case it is better than nothing.

Posted by: APACHEWHOKNOWS at August 22, 2013 05:44 PM (DEg4Y)

308

One of the kids who has his photo  up on druge has a fat ass a lot like that.

Posted by: APACHEWHOKNOWS at August 22, 2013 05:47 PM (DEg4Y)

309 This is why Stedman likes man-ass

Posted by: Strife at August 22, 2013 05:48 PM (Ojgjr)

310 "I'm OPRAH, bitchez!"

Posted by: mojo at August 22, 2013 06:13 PM (B/weO)

311 Fe Fi Fo Fum.

Posted by: d_fitz at August 22, 2013 06:26 PM (enmeq)

312 Oh God if she were only wearing a pearl necklace ......

Posted by: Nunyobidnezz at August 22, 2013 06:28 PM (RZvso)

313 Spanx.........just.......can't..........hold out.......much........longer.................

Posted by: Nunyobidnezz at August 22, 2013 06:38 PM (RZvso)

314 It does make her ass look big.

Posted by: JJ at August 22, 2013 07:34 PM (RZSUK)

315 Oprah? Orca?

What difference does it make? A whale, by any other name, would weigh as much...

Posted by: Tex Lovera at August 22, 2013 07:35 PM (vnB5E)

316 Looks like dock fenders at low tide.

Posted by: Alaska Paul at August 22, 2013 08:13 PM (lVeAh)

317 I do not see any semblance of Klingon. Does that make me racist?

Posted by: nip at August 22, 2013 08:21 PM (jI23+)

318 sometimes the Goodwill store won't have it in your exact size

Posted by: bumpona logg at August 22, 2013 08:24 PM (Cn/yg)

319 Well, if you've been reading the crazy racist DHS employee's blog you would know that Oprah has been the victim of a white gay designer who put a large white penis on an "Afrikan" woman to put her down. Oh wait, I forgot, according to the DHS employee Oprah doesn't count because she's a lesbian. And the government is watching us??

Posted by: Christmasghost at August 22, 2013 09:04 PM (AlLqs)

320 There goes a battleship preceded by two destroyers.

Wowser.

Posted by: Beverly at August 22, 2013 10:41 PM (bCLkj)

321 There are outfits that make EVERYONE look good.

There are outfits that take someone special to make them look good (or even un-hideous).

Then there are outfits that NOBODY can make look good and that only a truly talented sales-critter can sell.

Regrettably Oprah got snookered to the extent she actually wore this Cat III outfit in public.

Posted by: GC at August 23, 2013 05:33 AM (XuJbd)

322 I've never seen sunglasses on Pork before.

Posted by: r. Aurum Tar at August 23, 2013 09:39 AM (MKqyt)

323 I don't like Oprah mucho

Posted by: Droid at August 25, 2013 11:18 AM (/jHWN)

324 I loves me some I hates me some pie

Posted by: Droid at August 25, 2013 11:19 AM (/jHWN)

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