Ace of Spades HQ

December 27, 2013

Piers Morgan Says "Bring It On" Again; Pretty Much Winds Up The Same Way
— Ace

The last time Piers Morgan said "Bring it on," he said it to Megyn Kelly, who was about to begin her show competing in Morgan's time slot.

It did not go well.

It turns out this is just a standard Piers Morgan taunt. And lately he's been taunting Australian cricketeers. Australians keep beating English cricket teams, and Piers Morgan acts all upset about that, because soft pudgy aging men with no athletic ability think it makes them seem youthful and athletic if they act like children when they root for sports teams.

So, in some kind of dare, Morgan took pitches from an Australian pitcher, who beaned him with every throw, except for one to the head that Morgan barely dodged (by falling on his ass).

I suppose he thought he looked gutsy taking the punishment. I think he looked pretty foolish and stupid. Why would a man with any kind of dignity or sense just take 80 mile per hour pitches to the ribs?

Full injury list post @BrettLee_58 showdown - cracked wrist, bruised rib, and massive egg on back of head from...the throw-down guy.
— Piers Morgan (@piersmorgan) December 27, 2013

I think maybe the answer is simple. Morgan, like Michael Eric Dyson, is a clownish provocateur, subscribing to the theory that any attention is good attention. Although their official job titles may vary, their actual function and self-definition is Professional Wrestling Villain.

Like Andy Kaufman. But he was doing it as some kind of ironic commentary (perhaps understandable only to himself). Idiots like Chris Matthews, Piers Morgan, Michael Eric Dyson, Ed Shultz and the rest of the progressive professional slobberknocker circuit are doing this because that's how they get on TV and get paid.

Below, Piers Morgan gets beaned a whole heck of a lot.

Thanks to @drewmtips.

Posted by: Ace at 09:27 AM | Comments (231)
Post contains 333 words, total size 3 kb.

1 Ooh ! Ooh ! First !

Posted by: sock_rat_eez at December 27, 2013 09:30 AM (SwHqo)

2 Come on! Kick me in the jimmy!

Posted by: P. Morgan[/i] [/b] at December 27, 2013 09:32 AM (5ikDv)

3 Sure, my ribs are cracked and I'm coughing up blood, but now the world will see me as the man I've always known I am. #PiersMorgansDailyJournal

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at December 27, 2013 09:33 AM (DmNpO)

4 I don't know much about cricket. But if cricket is throwing a ball really fast at Piers Morgan, then I like cricket.

Posted by: AMDG at December 27, 2013 09:35 AM (t7OO0)

5 I told that damn Aussie to "Bring it" and, try as he may, he couldn't throw a decent pitch. His aim is for shit. #PiersMorgansDailyJournal

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at December 27, 2013 09:35 AM (DmNpO)

6 Somebody put this on a loop so it plays for three hours and I'll replace my laptop-fireplace.

Posted by: Pious Agnostic at December 27, 2013 09:35 AM (2Pd3s)

7 Getting beaned like that probably hurts less than the ratings beat down Megyn is putting on him every night.

Posted by: Muad'dib at December 27, 2013 09:35 AM (KjlbF)

8 I think it would've been more effective if the pitcher would've thrown something down the pike that Pierced couldn't hit, but that's just me. I guess you have the opportunity to beat the hell out of Pierced Morgan, you take it.

Posted by: © Sponge at December 27, 2013 09:37 AM (xmcEQ)

9 Piers Morgan's medieval warrior's full name is: Challenger Of Pregnant Woman, Fingerer Of Anus

Posted by: soothsayer at December 27, 2013 09:37 AM (zvr0X)

10 Heh! That Aussie thinks THAT'S what a "bringing it" looks like? Bloody hell! He throws like Megyn Kelly. #PiersMorgansDailyJournal

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at December 27, 2013 09:37 AM (DmNpO)

11 Hit my hand with that shovel.

Posted by: Just the Punchline at December 27, 2013 09:37 AM (QupBk)

12 oh and Destroyer Of Ratings..

Posted by: soothsayer at December 27, 2013 09:38 AM (zvr0X)

13 He's got to be wearing Depends. I don't see a bit of him shitting himself.

Posted by: Soona at December 27, 2013 09:38 AM (fv6BP)

14 Piers Morgan's injun name is Thumb In Rectum.

Posted by: soothsayer at December 27, 2013 09:38 AM (zvr0X)

15 HAHAHA X-mas 2014 has ARRIVED!!!!

Posted by: dananjcon at December 27, 2013 09:38 AM (wmU4G)

16 So in Cricket you just bean the batter? What is the, eh, ?wicket? for? Piers getting beaned is its own reward, but does not appear to have a sporting purpose. Or, put another way, WTF was that?

Posted by: Beagle at December 27, 2013 09:39 AM (sOtz/)

17
Piers.... your swing sucks.... huge hitch... bet you get a lot of pop-ups....

Keep your bat head up and swing down on the ball.....

Posted by: fixerupper at December 27, 2013 09:39 AM (nELVU)

18 The next episode where he condescendingly challenges the French national fencing team should be a good one.

Posted by: Gristle Encased Head at December 27, 2013 09:39 AM (+lsX1)

19 He's obviously wearing a pad. Not just for his vagina, but under that shirt, too.

Posted by: shredded chi, the young curmudgeon at December 27, 2013 09:39 AM (5aFK0)

20 or...Weeps A lot

Posted by: soothsayer at December 27, 2013 09:39 AM (zvr0X)

21 Piers does the professional wrestling villain schtick poorly. His best move would be to get great articulate conservatives on his show regularly, "debate" with them and have them kick his ass while he proclaims victory. The problem is that Piers doesn't realize he's a villain. No villain ever really does.

Posted by: AmishDude at December 27, 2013 09:40 AM (xSegX)

22 Even the Coyote knew when to give up.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at December 27, 2013 09:40 AM (8ZskC)

23 Yeah, is cricket even a real thing? I am suspicious of any sport that is dominated by India.

Posted by: Gristle Encased Head at December 27, 2013 09:40 AM (+lsX1)

24 Mommmiieeeeee!

Posted by: Piers Morgan, 1st Earl of Cornhole at December 27, 2013 09:41 AM (8ZskC)

25 Now that I've put that dirty Aussie in his place, I must challenge the soccer hoodlums to a pint-hoisting competition. #PiersMorgansDailyJournal

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at December 27, 2013 09:41 AM (DmNpO)

26 1st Earl of Cornhole I laughed out loud.

Posted by: toby928© at December 27, 2013 09:42 AM (QupBk)

27 This guys gets 454,000 viewers a day? Really? I suspect that 454,000 households lost their TV remotes and are too lazy to manually switch channels from CNN.

Posted by: Muad'dib at December 27, 2013 09:42 AM (KjlbF)

28 Piers Morgan's medieval warrior's full name is:

Challenger Of Pregnant Woman, Fingerer Of Anus

Posted by: soothsayer at December 27, 2013 01:37 PM (zvr0X)

Can't stop laughing.

Posted by: Ammo Dump at December 27, 2013 09:42 AM (GgPam)

29 On my next show I'll show why Grizzly bears aren't as tough as they're made out to be.

Posted by: Piers Morgan, 1st Earl of Cornhole at December 27, 2013 09:43 AM (8ZskC)

30 Doofus.. Tie him up and let the Horde take one shot apiece at him...

Posted by: Chi-Town Jerry at December 27, 2013 09:43 AM (f9c2L)

31 If I understand cricket now, it appears that the pitcher gets to soften up the batter for a while so that he's afraid to guard the wickets. Are you listening, MLB? Piers seemed to be a good sport about it all, I enjoyed it.

Posted by: t-bird at December 27, 2013 09:43 AM (FcR7P)

32 "Below, Piers Morgan gets beaned a whole heck of a lot." Beaned? You keep using that word but I don't think you know what it means. It means "Hit in the head (bean)." Otherwise, a great post.

Posted by: MaxMBJ at December 27, 2013 09:43 AM (deaac)

33
You Brits take batting practice...... weirdly.

Posted by: fixerupper at December 27, 2013 09:44 AM (nELVU)

34 Next I would like to see him tell a Japanese Sumo Wrestler to bring it on and watch hilarity ensue.

Posted by: Cheri at December 27, 2013 09:44 AM (G+Wff)

35 Oh, and by the way, on topic, if Piers Morgan were more interesting, or had something resembling a personality, or had any properties at all, I might consider feeling contemptuous toward him. Does one waste emotional force about a paramecium ? Piers Morgan makes the snows of yesteryear look immediate and substantial by comparison. Cricket is cool. I like the incomprehensibility, which has lasted in spite of the sincere efforts of several English and Indian colleagues to enlighten me.

Posted by: sock_rat_eez at December 27, 2013 09:44 AM (SwHqo)

36 The thing is.. if he had held his position, the balls would all have been behind him. But the pitcher was counting on that pussy to back away each time.

Posted by: Chi-Town Jerry at December 27, 2013 09:44 AM (f9c2L)

37 Turned the sound down to avoid any chance of hearing his voice and the video was quite enjoyable. Do you think he would like a good old American dunking tank? Full of rotten lutefisk?

Posted by: Meremortal, viva Cricket at December 27, 2013 09:44 AM (1Y+hH)

38
Piers to star in special presentation of "Ow! My Balls!"

Posted by: CNNocracy at December 27, 2013 09:45 AM (bkTIc)

39 I'm talking about keeping our pants zipped and our wicks dry around here!

Posted by: #OccupyAnthonyWeiner'sShorts at December 27, 2013 09:45 AM (e8kgV)

40 I don't understand cricket. I do however understand Piers Morgan getting beamed repeatedly. I approve.

Posted by: tsrblke, PhD(c) No Really! at December 27, 2013 09:45 AM (GaqMa)

41 "27 This guys gets 454,000 viewers a day? Really? I suspect that 454,000 households lost their TV remotes and are too lazy to manually switch channels from CNN." Airports.

Posted by: MaxMBJ at December 27, 2013 09:45 AM (deaac)

42 Whats amazing is he walks right into the pitches.

Run Away you pudgy doofus!!

RunAWAY!!!

Posted by: dananjcon at December 27, 2013 09:45 AM (wmU4G)

43 Now people will see what kind of man I REALLY am! They'll see that I stood here and took the best that damn Aussie had to offer. #PiersMorgansDailyJournal

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at December 27, 2013 09:45 AM (DmNpO)

44 27 This guys gets 454,000 viewers a day? Really? I suspect that 454,000 households lost their TV remotes and are too lazy to manually switch channels from CNN. It's on in several airports and public spaces generally regard it as the "moderate alternative". I know, I know. Politics or not, I don't see why they keep a ratings loser like that on their primetime lineup.

Posted by: AmishDude at December 27, 2013 09:46 AM (xSegX)

45 He's got a small one

Posted by: Docks Morgan at December 27, 2013 09:46 AM (e8kgV)

46 The broken ribs were actually from Megyn Kelly's high heels.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at December 27, 2013 09:47 AM (8ZskC)

47 He'll be hanging around

Posted by: YardArms Morgan at December 27, 2013 09:47 AM (e8kgV)

48 Well, that's going on a loop. The cricket stuff reminds me of when Tim Blair starts talking cricket on his blog and all the Americans are all wtf language are you using because whatever it is, it's not English. Doggie for the Horde: http://bit.ly/18OEsxY

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Now with extra taunting. at December 27, 2013 09:47 AM (VtjlW)

49 Airports.

Posted by: MaxMBJ at December 27, 2013 01:45 PM (deaac)

-------------------------------------------

Also, CA and NYC gyms.

Posted by: Soona at December 27, 2013 09:47 AM (fv6BP)

50 More Michael Bolton

Posted by: Anchors Morgan at December 27, 2013 09:48 AM (e8kgV)

51 So if we want to beat the shit out of Piers Morgan all we need to do is make it a sporting event? Sign me up for that league.

Posted by: Richard McEnroe at December 27, 2013 09:48 AM (XO6WW)

52
I could take Piers Morgan in a wrestling match with ease, and I promise to never touch his vajayjay to force the tap out.

Posted by: Serena Williams at December 27, 2013 09:48 AM (pJF+c)

53 More COW BELL !!!

Posted by: Walken in a winter wonderland at December 27, 2013 09:48 AM (e8kgV)

54 Ratings don't mean a gosh dam thing. It's about ads. And CNN and MSNBC get the big ad $$, whereas Fox News gets the boner pill and Chia pet ads.

Posted by: soothsayer at December 27, 2013 09:49 AM (zvr0X)

55 He didn't feel a thing, because of the Vicodin abuse.

Posted by: bonhomme[/i][/b][/i][/b] at December 27, 2013 09:49 AM (WhJf8)

56
...and tune in to next weeks episode of Canada TV's "Stop That Slapshot" where our goalie of the week, Piers Morgan, tries his best against Zdeno Chara.

Posted by: fixerupper at December 27, 2013 09:49 AM (nELVU)

57 If only Brett Lee could throw much much faster.

Posted by: SpongeBobSaget at December 27, 2013 09:49 AM (kxSZr)

58 Cricket never made sense to me until I realized it's an excuse to throw things at Piers Morgan.

Posted by: Bevel Lemelisk at December 27, 2013 09:50 AM (v6YdM)

59 Thought experiment: Imagine Obama doing the same. Never happen. After he girl-threw a first pitch, he's spent the next four years in baseball-hiding. After his bowling a 37 he spend the next four months "practicing up" as he told Leno, to get to "Special Olympics" level. And remember his 1 for 20 outdoor basketball shooting scene, the one where a little kid helped him hit a layup? Well, that's the last time we saw Obama shooting a hoop. To conclude: Give Morgan credit: he wasn't ashamed to make a douche of himself.

Posted by: MaxMBJ at December 27, 2013 09:50 AM (deaac)

60 >57 If only Brett Lee could throw much much faster.

Posted by: SpongeBobSaget at December 27, 2013 01:49 PM (kxSZr)<

Can you imagine what 1968 Bob Gibson would do to this doughboy??

Posted by: Muad'dib at December 27, 2013 09:50 AM (KjlbF)

61
Anderson Cooper shares warm and fuzzy memories of his mother on the air:

Â“My mom once wrote a romance memoir about men she had datedÂ–and I use that term looselyÂ–and she described one guy she was currently datingÂ–Â–my mom was 85 at the timeÂ–Â–as the Nijinsky of cunnilingus. And she made me proofread the book.Â”

Posted by: CNNOOO! at December 27, 2013 09:50 AM (bkTIc)

62 Ace, that was uncalled for. As a proud heel to be equated with Piers Morgan is offensive and demeaning. I would ask that you rethink your hurtful words as heels both serve a purpose and are actually the nicest guys behind the scenes, two things which Piers could not possibly hope for.

Posted by: Russian Assassin at December 27, 2013 09:50 AM (dfQ4e)

63 Just wait until the viewing public gets a load of me catching pucks from the Flyers. Bunch of Yankee twats. #PiersMorgansDailyJOurnal

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at December 27, 2013 09:50 AM (DmNpO)

64 Ratings don't mean a gosh dam thing. It's about ads. And CNN and MSNBC get the big ad $$, whereas Fox News gets the boner pill and Chia pet ads. Yep. Middle aged liberal ad buyers see CNN and MSNBC as "prestigious" and pay more to have their ads hosted on those channels.

Posted by: bonhomme[/i][/b][/i][/b] at December 27, 2013 09:50 AM (WhJf8)

65 I think he should scrimmage as QB for an NFL team. Yeah, that's it.

Posted by: Soona at December 27, 2013 09:50 AM (fv6BP)

66 Heh. He leaves the cock-sucker pads on his knees when he goes to work.

Posted by: Cicero Kid at December 27, 2013 09:50 AM (6fSty)

67 Below, Piers Morgan gets beaned a whole heck of a lot. Nope. Not seeing the downside here.

Posted by: Sean Bannion[/i][/i][/u][/s] at December 27, 2013 09:51 AM (JpC1K)

68 Anderson Cooper shares warm and fuzzy memories of his mother on the air: Â“My mom once wrote a romance memoir about men she had datedÂ–and I use that term looselyÂ–and she described one guy she was currently datingÂ–Â–my mom was 85 at the timeÂ–Â–as the Nijinsky of cunnilingus. And she made me proofread the book.Â” *** Which would be incontrovertible evidence of his gayness if that were already known. A straight man would have had the balls to tell his mother "Hell no!"

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at December 27, 2013 09:52 AM (DmNpO)

69 I think he should scrimmage as QB for an NFL team. Yeah, that's it.

Posted by: Soona at December 27, 2013 01:50 PM (fv6BP)

----

Well..... Roma's out.... and Piers cant be any worse.

Posted by: fixerupper at December 27, 2013 09:52 AM (nELVU)

70 I like how Morgan keeps telling the bowler to bring it on from behind all his pads and helmet.

Posted by: bonhomme[/i][/b][/i][/b] at December 27, 2013 09:52 AM (WhJf8)

71 Can we have Chris Matthews insult an Australian boxer please?

Posted by: Bevel Lemelisk at December 27, 2013 09:52 AM (v6YdM)

72 Ratings don't mean a gosh dam thing. It's about ads. And CNN and MSNBC get the big ad $$, whereas Fox News gets the boner pill and Chia pet ads. As un-PC as Fox is, they should still get better ads. I wonder if Time-Warner and NBC/Universal bundle their ads. That is, you buy an ad on USA and it gets you a spot on their other networks.

Posted by: AmishDude at December 27, 2013 09:52 AM (xSegX)

73 Is there a more mysterious sport than cricket? None of it makes sense.

Posted by: MaxMBJ at December 27, 2013 09:53 AM (deaac)

74 Morgan has never been the same since Dominic Strauss-Kahn stopped raping him.

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here)-also drooling imbecile incapable of doing algebra or something at December 27, 2013 09:53 AM (659DL)

75 Doggie for the Horde: http://bit.ly/18OEsxY Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Now with extra taunting. at December 27, 2013 01:47 PM (VtjlW) Oh. You were serious. I thought that was code wherein "doggie" really meant "hawt ginger"

Posted by: Sean Bannion[/i][/i][/u][/s] at December 27, 2013 09:53 AM (JpC1K)

76 I bet that Jeremy Clarkson would have paid good money to throw fastballs at Piers Morgan's head

Posted by: kbdabear at December 27, 2013 09:53 AM (aTXUx)

77 68 Anderson Cooper shares warm and fuzzy memories of his mother on the air: Â“My mom once wrote a romance memoir about men she had datedÂ–and I use that term looselyÂ–and she described one guy she was currently datingÂ–Â–my mom was 85 at the timeÂ–Â–as the Nijinsky of cunnilingus. And she made me proofread the book.Â” World's easiest puzzle -- solved!

Posted by: AmishDude at December 27, 2013 09:53 AM (xSegX)

78 He can always try stand-up if the side show stuff quits working.

Posted by: Arlen Specter at December 27, 2013 09:54 AM (C6XFd)

79 Piers is a stupid POM if he is taunting Aussies.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at December 27, 2013 09:54 AM (04hTF)

80
I saw "Australian Cricketeers" open for "The Outfield" in Indianapolis in 1987.

Posted by: fixerupper at December 27, 2013 09:54 AM (nELVU)

81 73 Is there a more mysterious sport than cricket? None of it makes sense. You see, the bowler throws at the wicket while the other team tries to blow up parliament with gunpowder.

Posted by: Bevel Lemelisk at December 27, 2013 09:55 AM (v6YdM)

82 World's easiest puzzle -- solved! No kidding. It's totally false that some men who prefer men have overbearing mothers and distant fathers. Totally. False.

Posted by: bonhomme[/i][/b][/i][/b] at December 27, 2013 09:55 AM (WhJf8)

83 He can always try stand-up if the side show stuff quits working. *** Well, the comedy act would easily set a record for longest uninterrupted run as folks line up to get their turn to kick him in the nuts.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at December 27, 2013 09:55 AM (DmNpO)

84 Tim Blair's report on Piers' epic cricket batting failure is entitled "Morgan Failure".

Posted by: [/i]andycanuck[/b] at December 27, 2013 09:55 AM (f6z8e)

85 Â“My mom once wrote a romance memoir about men she had datedÂ–and I use that term looselyÂ–and she described one guy she was currently datingÂ–Â–my mom was 85 at the timeÂ–Â–as the Nijinsky of cunnilingus. And she made me proofread the book.Â” *** Which would be incontrovertible evidence of his gayness if that were already known. A straight man would have had the balls to tell his mother "Hell no!" Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at December 27, 2013 01:52 PM (DmNpO) Because there's a "gay gene" and nothing in life would ever cause someone to become repulsed by heterosexual commitment. Nope. Nothing.

Posted by: © Sponge at December 27, 2013 09:56 AM (xmcEQ)

86 Piers Morgan is ~~dumber~~stupider than a tabloid. Like most people on TeeVee. Later.

Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at December 27, 2013 09:56 AM (VYM4n)

87 >>>Although their official job titles may vary, their actual function and self-definition is Professional Wrestling Villain. This is why I can't quit ace. Always closing.

Posted by: Eton Cox at December 27, 2013 09:57 AM (q177U)

88 Because there's a "gay gene" and nothing in life would ever cause someone to become repulsed by heterosexual commitment. Nope. Nothing. *** What?

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at December 27, 2013 09:57 AM (DmNpO)

89 What's the height limit on Dwarf Bowling? Is Piers too tall to qualify?

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at December 27, 2013 09:57 AM (8ZskC)

90 Is there a more mysterious sport than cricket? None of it makes sense.

Posted by: MaxMBJ at December 27, 2013 01:53 PM (deaac)

----------------------------------------------

It makes as much sense as soccer, or that icebac sport with the sticks and the black pancake.

Posted by: Soona at December 27, 2013 09:57 AM (fv6BP)

91 For an encore, he should stand in the batters box while MLB pitcher Nolan Ryan beans him with fastballs...

I'd pay double premium rates for a nosebleed seat ticket to see that.

Posted by: GGE of the Moron Horde, NC Chapter at December 27, 2013 09:58 AM (yh0zB)

92 Because there's a "gay gene" and nothing in life would ever cause someone to become repulsed by heterosexual commitment. There's a gay gene, unless you're a woman or lived in historical times when bisexuality was normal.

Posted by: Bevel Lemelisk at December 27, 2013 09:58 AM (v6YdM)

93 Is there a more mysterious sport than cricket? None of it makes sense. Isn't the gist of it that the batter guards the sticks behind him against the bowler's thrown ball. If the batter hits the ball he gets to run. Instead of running in a round, the batter runs back and forth from his initial position to another position. They count each run as well as knocked over sticks and come up with a score. I'm sure there are a lot of other rules, but isn't that the basics?

Posted by: bonhomme[/i][/b][/i][/b] at December 27, 2013 09:58 AM (WhJf8)

94 Yes, but Fox News has all the William Devane "I buy gold from Rosland Capital " ads.

Posted by: JoeyBagels at December 27, 2013 09:59 AM (qT1kU)

95 You know, I had many images to choose from when I wanted to illustrate Piers Morgan's taunt of "Bring It On". This is my favorite: http://tinyurl.com/mt5h6en (He's on the left.)

Posted by: AmishDude at December 27, 2013 10:00 AM (xSegX)

96 What? Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at December 27, 2013 01:57 PM (DmNpO) Apparently, nothing.

Posted by: © Sponge at December 27, 2013 10:00 AM (xmcEQ)

97 Is it me or does it sound like he actually sobs an F-bomb at 2:05? I thought so.

Posted by: bonhomme[/i][/b][/i][/b] at December 27, 2013 10:00 AM (WhJf8)

98 Yes, but Fox News has all the William Devane "I buy gold from Rosland Capital " ads. *** And Fred Thompson reverse mortgage ads.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at December 27, 2013 10:00 AM (DmNpO)

99 "I bet that Jeremy Clarkson would have paid good money to throw fastballs at Piers Morgan's head" I didn't need any fastballs when I settled up with him. Just a few wallops with my guns and he was crying like a bitch.

Posted by: Jeremy Clarkson at December 27, 2013 10:01 AM (VJetW)

100 Isn't the gist of it that the batter guards the sticks behind him against the bowler's thrown ball. If the batter hits the ball he gets to run. Instead of running in a round, the batter runs back and forth from his initial position to another position. They count each run as well as knocked over sticks and come up with a score.

I'm sure there are a lot of other rules, but isn't that the basics?

Posted by: bonhomme at December 27, 2013 01:58 PM (WhJf

-------------------------------------------------

Oh my. It sounds so exciting.

Posted by: Soona at December 27, 2013 10:01 AM (fv6BP)

101 Andy Kaufman was almost as funny as Margaret Cho.

Posted by: garrett at December 27, 2013 10:02 AM (cyvkk)

102 Next I would like to see him tell a Japanese Sumo Wrestler to bring it on and watch hilarity ensue. Posted by: Cheri

Demolition Derby, on Artie Johnsons tricycle.

Posted by: DaveA[/i][/b][/s] at December 27, 2013 10:02 AM (DL2i+)

103 Yes, but Fox News has all the William Devane "I buy gold from Rosland Capital " ads. --- William Devane is a memetic badass on par with Chuck Norris, thanks to his performance on 24 at the least. His bit as a CIA agent in Marathon Man should also play into that.

Posted by: Brandon In Baton Rouge at December 27, 2013 10:02 AM (/Crba)

104 I showed them! For my next calculated act of manliness I think I'll challenge Justin Tucker to kick me in the balls. #PiersMorgansDailyJournal

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at December 27, 2013 10:02 AM (DmNpO)

105 Oh. You were serious. I thought that was code wherein "doggie" really meant "hawt ginger" Posted by: Sean Bannion at December 27, 2013 01:53 PM (JpC1K) Not everything is code for hawt ginger, you know. Most things, yes. Everything, no. Oh hey, I think you missed it but BC and I decided that if we ever go camping, we're taking you with us! In conclusion, baby lambs. http://bit.ly/1efTCu7

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Now with extra taunting. at December 27, 2013 10:02 AM (VtjlW)

106 "There is only one thing worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about."

Posted by: Null at December 27, 2013 10:02 AM (P7hip)

107 And Fred Thompson reverse mortgage ads. Those commercials lack fire in the belly.

Posted by: Politico at December 27, 2013 10:03 AM (v6YdM)

108 Andy Kaufman was almost as funny as Margaret Cho. *** Thaaaaaank You!

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at December 27, 2013 10:03 AM (DmNpO)

109

That looks like a fun game. Maybe it could be included on Battle of the Half-assed Network "Stars".

Andy Kaufman was funny, love him. He is nuts.

This is Kaufman getting heckled...but is it a put on?

http://tinyurl.com/o4m463l

Posted by: Rev Dr E Buzz Bunnies at December 27, 2013 10:03 AM (xggaJ)

110 Oh hey, I think you missed it but BC and I decided that if we ever go camping, we're taking you with us! Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Now with extra taunting. at December 27, 2013 02:02 PM (VtjlW) Is it 'cause I have a purty mouth?

Posted by: Sean Bannion[/i][/i][/u][/s] at December 27, 2013 10:03 AM (JpC1K)

111 Oh my AtC!

I mean thank you.

Posted by: Muad'dib at December 27, 2013 10:04 AM (KjlbF)

112 >>Is there a more mysterious sport than cricket? None of it makes sense. It makes perfect sense we you understand that a match goes on for ever and alcohol is served.

Posted by: JackStraw at December 27, 2013 10:04 AM (g1DWB)

113 In conclusion, baby lambs. --- Mary had some baby lambs, baby lambs, baby lambs Mary had some baby lambs with fleece as white as snow Everywhere that Mary went Mary went Mary went Everywhere that Mary went the lambs were sure to go

Posted by: Brandon In Baton Rouge at December 27, 2013 10:04 AM (/Crba)

114 Oh my. It sounds so exciting. Every sport is stupid if you oversimplify. Basketball: You run back and forth and throw the ball at a ring. Football: You run back and forth and try to get the ball into a space at the end of the field. Baseball: A guy throws a ball at you and you try to hit it. The beauty is in the competition, the discipline, the difficulty of expertise and proficiency of the expert, physical prowess etc.

Posted by: bonhomme[/i][/b][/i][/b] at December 27, 2013 10:04 AM (WhJf8)

115 73 Is there a more mysterious sport than cricket? None of it makes sense. Well, there's Australian lack-of-rules football, which seems to involve folks in lab coats pointing a lot for no known reason.

Posted by: Anachronda at December 27, 2013 10:04 AM (U82Km)

116 Satisfying to see that asshole take his medicine.

Posted by: maddogg at December 27, 2013 10:04 AM (xWW96)

117 115 Oh my. It sounds so exciting. Every sport is stupid if you oversimplify. Basketball: You run back and forth and throw the ball at a ring. Football: You run back and forth and try to get the ball into a space at the end of the field. Baseball: A guy throws a ball at you and you try to hit it. The beauty is in the competition, the discipline, the difficulty of expertise and proficiency of the expert, physical prowess etc. --- Hockey - You beat the shit out of the other guy and occasionally knock a round chunk of rubber into a net.

Posted by: Brandon In Baton Rouge at December 27, 2013 10:05 AM (/Crba)

118 Is it 'cause I have a purty mouth? Posted by: Sean Bannion at December 27, 2013 02:03 PM (JpC1K) Well, that too, now.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Now with extra taunting. at December 27, 2013 10:05 AM (VtjlW)

119 I would have cheered and flashed a few V signs if a Krikkit battle fleet had shown up and kidnapped Piers.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at December 27, 2013 10:05 AM (04hTF)

120 120 I would have cheered and flashed a few V signs if a Krikkit battle fleet had shown up and kidnapped Piers. --- Belgium!

Posted by: Brandon In Baton Rouge at December 27, 2013 10:06 AM (/Crba)

121

Man, he was crazy...and Dave used to be a great show.

http://tinyurl.com/5glnch

Posted by: Rev Dr E Buzz Bunnies at December 27, 2013 10:06 AM (xggaJ)

122 Well, that too, now. Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Now with extra taunting. at December 27, 2013 02:05 PM (VtjlW) I'm going to worry if I hear banjo music.

Posted by: Sean Bannion[/i][/i][/u][/s] at December 27, 2013 10:06 AM (JpC1K)

123 so he's a pussy.

Whoda thunk?

Posted by: tangonine at December 27, 2013 10:07 AM (x3YFz)

124 "Well, there's Australian lack-of-rules football, which seems to involve folks in lab coats pointing a lot for no known reason. " That is some weird shit, isn't it. I watched a few games one time and never could make heads or tails out of it.

Posted by: Ricardo Kill at December 27, 2013 10:07 AM (VJetW)

125 I thought ace was on va cay cay, no?

Posted by: Bean Pies, ey? at December 27, 2013 10:07 AM (Qev5V)

126 Heh. Pajamaboi's grandfather: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Antonio_Gramsci

Posted by: FRONT TOWARD LEFT at December 27, 2013 10:08 AM (V3kRK)

127 You would think that William Devane and his history of playing just about every Kennedy in film and on TV would appeal more to the MSNBC crowd.

Posted by: JoeyBagels at December 27, 2013 10:08 AM (qT1kU)

128 I thought ace was on va cay cay, no? *** I don't recall him announcing it.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at December 27, 2013 10:08 AM (DmNpO)

129 *mind gibbers*

Sean, Cochran, and Alex go up the hill to fetch a pail of .. well lets not talk about that.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at December 27, 2013 10:08 AM (04hTF)

130 In conclusion, baby lambs.

http://bit.ly/1efTCu7

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Now with extra taunting. at December 27, 2013 02:02 PM (VtjlW)

mmm...lamb chops...

Posted by: GGE of the Moron Horde, NC Chapter at December 27, 2013 10:08 AM (yh0zB)

131 Every sport is stupid if you oversimplify.

Drag Racing - There is no ball and your car explodes.

Posted by: DaveA[/i][/b][/s] at December 27, 2013 10:08 AM (DL2i+)

132 Hockey - You beat the shit out of the other guy and occasionally knock a round chunk of rubber into a net. Posted by: Brandon In Baton Rouge at December 27, 2013 02:05 PM (/Crba) Curling - you chuck a rock down ice while people sweep. Also alcohol. Mind you, I love curling and can't wait for the Olympics to start up so I can watch it.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Now with extra taunting. at December 27, 2013 10:09 AM (VtjlW)

133 Continuation of sports made stupid by oversimplification: Track: You run. Shooting sports: You point a gun and pull a trigger. Javelin, shotput, discus, hammer toss: You throw a thing. Wrestling, Judo, Sumo: You grab a dude and try to put him into a particular position against his will.

Posted by: bonhomme[/i][/b][/i][/b] at December 27, 2013 10:09 AM (WhJf8)

134 Hockey - You beat the shit out of the other guy and occasionally knock a round chunk of rubber into a net.

Posted by: Brandon at December 27, 2013 02:05 PM (/Crba)

...on ice skates. Whoever came up with the idea of a gang brawl on ice skates is a genius. And! With sticks!

What's not to love?

Posted by: tangonine at December 27, 2013 10:09 AM (x3YFz)

135 FWIW, the daily caller's profile of pajama boy was unreadable. At least to me. I wonder if Ace or a cob has the stones to read the description of the smug liberal piece of shit's description of how he regularly smacks around conservatives and then eviscerate it? ah yes, Piers Morgan. Let's just say that pointing out the bad behavior and rude tone of democrats is only going to drive moderates from the DNC. After all, in the recent VA governors race, the GOP was handed a resounding defeat because the GOP nominated crazy whackos whereas the DNC nominated a saintly, honest, rational man to run. Of course, vast demographic changing importation of 3rd world voters to stuff the ballot boxes had nothing to do with this election result, nor was the importation of a ringer to dilute GOP votes. And suggestion otherwise would only drive moderates from the GOP. Finally, the democrat's victory in VA is thus a clear sign the GOP is out of touch and must only nominate ... just kidding, it doesn't matter who the GOP nominates, the donk playbook will remain the same.

Posted by: oeJay44incday at December 27, 2013 10:10 AM (QxSug)

136 I'm starting to lose track of these clowns. They're becoming interchangeable.

Posted by: Shoot Me at December 27, 2013 10:10 AM (qiXMt)

137 Okay you genius types - Women's Lacrosse. Simplify.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at December 27, 2013 10:10 AM (04hTF)

138 I'm going to worry if I hear banjo music. Posted by: Sean Bannion at December 27, 2013 02:06 PM (JpC1K) It's possible your inclusion in the camping party came about during a discussion of how best to get out of a bear attack. Just possible, mind you.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Now with extra taunting. at December 27, 2013 10:10 AM (VtjlW)

139 ...on ice skates. Whoever came up with the idea of a gang brawl on ice skates is a genius. And! With sticks! *** razors on their feet and clubs in their hands! Brilliant!

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at December 27, 2013 10:10 AM (DmNpO)

140 Synchronized swimming is a sport.

Posted by: NCKate at December 27, 2013 10:11 AM (Auy5s)

141

I have a challenge (shallange) for Peice.

How about challenging a wrassler to a match to prove how fake it is!

YES!

Posted by: Rev Dr E Buzz Bunnies at December 27, 2013 10:11 AM (xggaJ)

142 138 Okay you genius types - Women's Lacrosse. Simplify. See women's field hockey.

Posted by: Bevel Lemelisk at December 27, 2013 10:11 AM (v6YdM)

143 125 "Well, there's Australian lack-of-rules football, which seems to involve folks in lab coats pointing a lot for no known reason. "

That is some weird shit, isn't it. I watched a few games one time and never could make heads or tails out of it.

Posted by: Ricardo Kill at December 27, 2013 02:07 PM (VJetW)

Except: The Hookah! or whatever the All Blacks call it.

One way or the other: It's loaded with awesome.

Posted by: tangonine at December 27, 2013 10:11 AM (x3YFz)

144

The beauty is in the competition, the discipline, the difficulty of expertise and proficiency of the expert, physical prowess etc.

------------------------------------------------

Well, yeah, you're probably right. But still, I don't think I could be very enthused about a game named after a vermin bug.

Posted by: Soona at December 27, 2013 10:11 AM (fv6BP)

145 Women's beach volleyball - you watch hawt girls in bikini jump up and down with... Wait. This sport isn't stupid at all!

Posted by: shredded chi, the young curmudgeon at December 27, 2013 10:12 AM (5aFK0)

146 BTW, I'd say, "Bring it on" to Ms. Kelly too, but I'd mean something different.

Posted by: Meremortal, viva Cricket at December 27, 2013 10:12 AM (1Y+hH)

147 I thought ace was on va cay cay, no? True Fact : The Original Ace never took a vacation. Not one. That guy didn't even sleep. On the rare occasion that he suffered an ebb in production, he would increase the bannings tenfold. (Mostly so that he could then post an Apology, thereby doubling his output.) Also - he would remind us, almost daily, that he was the Arbiter of Comedy.

Posted by: garrett at December 27, 2013 10:12 AM (cyvkk)

148 Can you imagine what 1968 Bob Gibson would do to this doughboy??

Posted by: Muad'dib at December 27, 2013 01:50 PM (KjlbF)

Gibson was the man. I loved watching him move batters off the plate. Most of the time he just glared at them. The stupid ones made him throw the fastball.

Posted by: tbodie at December 27, 2013 10:12 AM (vuXw6)

149 Okay you genius types - Women's Lacrosse. Simplify. A bunch of women running back and forth trying to put a ball in a net.

Posted by: bonhomme[/i][/b][/i][/b] at December 27, 2013 10:12 AM (WhJf8)

150 143 138 Okay you genius types - Women's Lacrosse. Simplify.

See women's field hockey.

Posted by: Bevel Lemelisk at December 27, 2013 02:11 PM (v6YdM)

Cheerleaders with sticks.

Posted by: tangonine at December 27, 2013 10:12 AM (x3YFz)

151 The thing about Piers is that he seems to have a fetish for being beaten by real men. I'm sure there are cheaper and less humiliating ways for him to get what he wants but whatever gets him through the night.

Posted by: NR Pax at December 27, 2013 10:13 AM (oDCMR)

152 Boxing: You box.

Posted by: JoeyBagels at December 27, 2013 10:13 AM (qT1kU)

153 Synchronized swimming is a sport.

Posted by: NCKate at December 27, 2013 02:11 PM (Auy5s)

----------------------------------------------------

So is fabric-on-a-stick waving.

Posted by: Soona at December 27, 2013 10:14 AM (fv6BP)

154 For my next showstopper I think I'll challenge Orb to the 1 1/4 at Churchill Downs. #PiersMorgansDailyJournal

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at December 27, 2013 10:14 AM (DmNpO)

155 Curling - you chuck a rock down ice while people sweep. Also alcohol. Mind you, I love curling and can't wait for the Olympics to start up so I can watch it. Why do we have womens' curling? Why can't curling be co-ed?

Posted by: AmishDude at December 27, 2013 10:14 AM (xSegX)

156 Women's Lacrosse. Simplify. Plaid Skirts and Braided Hair. Don't let your friends know you are dating the Goalie. ...almost indistinguishable from Women's Field Hockey in all respects but the pattern of plaid.

Posted by: garrett at December 27, 2013 10:14 AM (cyvkk)

157
Except: The Hookah! or whatever the All Blacks call it.

One way or the other: It's loaded with awesome.

Posted by: tangonine at December 27, 2013 02:11 PM (x3YFz)

I believe it's called the haka. A hookah's a water pipe.

Posted by: Insomniac at December 27, 2013 10:14 AM (DrWcr)

158 >>Except: The Hookah! or whatever the All Blacks call it. Haka That would be rugby. And the All Blacks are from New Zealand. But yeah, awesome.

Posted by: JackStraw at December 27, 2013 10:14 AM (g1DWB)

159 Women's lacrosse: whoever gets the ball scores because unlike men's lacrosse you can't beat one another with your stick.

Posted by: NCKate at December 27, 2013 10:14 AM (Auy5s)

160 153 Boxing: You box.

Posted by: JoeyBagels at December 27, 2013 02:13 PM (qT1kU)

Punch people until you get so much brain damage you can't punch anymore.

Then your kids get to wipe the dribble off your chin.

Posted by: tangonine at December 27, 2013 10:15 AM (x3YFz)

161 Okay you genius types - Women's Lacrosse. Simplify. Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at December 27, 2013 02:10 PM (04hTF) Hormonal teenage girls running at each other with sticks.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Now with extra taunting. at December 27, 2013 10:15 AM (VtjlW)

162 High Jump: Jump as high as you can

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at December 27, 2013 10:15 AM (8ZskC)

163 My hash is the title of the next Sigur Ros album.

Posted by: garrett at December 27, 2013 10:15 AM (cyvkk)

164 Speaking of exiting sports Curling FTW.

Posted by: The Hickster at December 27, 2013 10:15 AM (TI3xG)

165 Soona, I had forgotten the twirly stick thing!

Posted by: NCKate at December 27, 2013 10:15 AM (Auy5s)

166 Why do we have womens' curling? Why can't curling be co-ed?

Posted by: AmishDude at December 27, 2013 02:14 PM (xSegX)

----

Women are much more proficient at the sweeping part. Unfair advantage.

Posted by: fixerupper at December 27, 2013 10:15 AM (nELVU)

167

Hormonal teenage girls

Are there any other kind?

Posted by: Insomniac at December 27, 2013 10:16 AM (DrWcr)

168 159 >>Except: The Hookah! or whatever the All Blacks call it.

Haka That would be rugby. And the All Blacks are from New Zealand.

But yeah, awesome.

Posted by: JackStraw at December 27, 2013 02:14 PM (g1DWB)

I'm fully aware. Have 3 AB jerseys in the closet. Was a play on words.

Posted by: tangonine at December 27, 2013 10:16 AM (x3YFz)

169 The only thing I know about curling is that the Canadian Women's team at the last Olympics sent me to my bunk on multiple occasions.

Posted by: Muad'dib at December 27, 2013 10:16 AM (KjlbF)

170 NASCAR : you drive loud cars plastered with advertisements around and a round. And around.

Posted by: JoeyBagels at December 27, 2013 10:16 AM (qT1kU)

171 I will gladly take on Piers in a shoot. There's not a lot of difference between the way we do stuff and the way to make it really hurt. Ask Richard Belzer.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i7n_SHrK408

Posted by: Russian Assassin at December 27, 2013 10:17 AM (dfQ4e)

172 In all seriousness, I've thought about it, and I really do think that I can last one round with Mike Tyson. #PiersMorgansDailyJournal

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at December 27, 2013 10:17 AM (DmNpO)

173 Women are much more proficient at the sweeping part. Unfair advantage.

Posted by: fixerupper at December 27, 2013 02:15 PM (nELVU)

If there was a pro sport that involved nagging and guilt trips, the male species would come in last.

Posted by: tangonine at December 27, 2013 10:17 AM (x3YFz)

174 Are there any other kind? *** No. No there is not.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at December 27, 2013 10:17 AM (DmNpO)

175 No-sports nood up

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at December 27, 2013 10:17 AM (8ZskC)

176 Actually this made me like him more. Not easy to stand in for 6 of those.

Posted by: Caliban at December 27, 2013 10:18 AM (DrC22)

177 My hash is the title of the next Sigur Ros album. Posted by: garrett at December 27, 2013 02:15 PM (cyvkk) It is! Thanks to you, I currently have Takk on repeat. Oh the fun of saying Icelandic when asked what language that is.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Now with extra taunting. at December 27, 2013 10:18 AM (VtjlW)

178 I liked the Italian Women's Curling Team. I could listen to an Italian woman yell at me all day. Like the chick in that Ice Cream commercial.

Posted by: garrett at December 27, 2013 10:18 AM (cyvkk)

179 Women's lacrosse: whoever gets the ball scores because unlike men's lacrosse you can't beat one another with your stick. I played inter-mural coed basketball a couple of times for friends who needed a guy on their team. The rules were really weird and restrictive for guys. A guy could never steal the ball from a girl. A guy could never shoot from within the paint. A guy could never rebound from within the paint. I saw one play where a girl was passing the ball and she hit a guy in the chest with her pass. He made no effort to get into the ball's path, she misjudged her throw. He picked up the ball and the play was dead. He had stolen the ball from a girl. Weird stuff.

Posted by: bonhomme[/i][/b][/i][/b] at December 27, 2013 10:18 AM (WhJf8)

180 NASCAR: Hillbillies turning left.

Posted by: Mr. Dave at December 27, 2013 10:19 AM (u60da)

181

Track: Run as fast as you can.

Posted by: Soona at December 27, 2013 10:19 AM (fv6BP)

182 I thought that was code wherein "doggie" really meant "hawt ginger"

Posted by: Sean Bannion at December 27, 2013 01:53 PM (JpC1K)

Yeah, I think we all fell for that one.

Posted by: PMRich at December 27, 2013 10:19 AM (KDUNf)

183 True Fact : The Original Ace never took a vacation. Not one. That guy didn't even sleep. This is at least the 4th generation of "Ace". It's a family of bloggers going back to the 19th century with telegraph blogging. It's like The Phantom, except too hairy for purple tights.

Posted by: AmishDude at December 27, 2013 10:20 AM (xSegX)

184 182 Track: Run as fast as you can.

Posted by: Soona at December 27, 2013 02:19 PM (fv6BP)

don't forget to jump

Posted by: tangonine at December 27, 2013 10:20 AM (x3YFz)

185

Okay you genius types - Women's Lacrosse. Simplify.

Fit 20 somethings running around in shorts. Sometimes mud is involved.

Posted by: tbodie at December 27, 2013 10:20 AM (vuXw6)

186 aren't most 20-somthing's seemingly fit? Except with years of experience you can see through the facade and know they'll be 300 lbs by age 30.

/nod if you know what I mean.

Posted by: tangonine at December 27, 2013 10:22 AM (x3YFz)

187 Description of Biathlon: Cross country skiing and shooting Nazis.

Posted by: The Hickster at December 27, 2013 10:23 AM (TI3xG)

188 What could be dumber than the equipment bag at the hammer-throw?

Posted by: Cicero Kid at December 27, 2013 10:24 AM (6fSty)

189 aren't most 20-somthing's seemingly fit? Except with years of experience you can see through the facade and know they'll be 300 lbs by age 30. Yep. It's hilarious when middle school girls are astounded by someone who is maybe ten pounds above average beating them soundly in a footrace or other sport. They think that because they are skinny they are fit. Uh, fitness has more than one component, twits.

Posted by: bonhomme[/i][/b][/i][/b] at December 27, 2013 10:25 AM (WhJf8)

190 The bowler must have watched Morgan's show before that

Posted by: TheQuietMan at December 27, 2013 10:25 AM (JivuR)

191 I played inter-mural coed basketball a couple of times for friends who needed a guy on their team. The rules were really weird and restrictive for guys. They should've just played 6-on-6 basketball with the men on one end and the women on the other. Actually, that'd be kinda cool. Basically, you can't cross the midline.

Posted by: AmishDude at December 27, 2013 10:25 AM (xSegX)

192

Are you sure that wasnt Barry Bonds behind all that body armor?

I think Bond's had a pretty good fake English accent too.

maybe it was Mark Maguire? He was a pasty faced guy dolled up in armor too.

Posted by: havildar-major at December 27, 2013 10:26 AM (kduZC)

193 It would be nice to get every member of the MFM to get the same treatment from that bowler

Posted by: TheQuietMan at December 27, 2013 10:27 AM (JivuR)

194 I've met college-level female lacrosse players. Those women are warriors, and fiercely nice.

Posted by: mrp at December 27, 2013 10:28 AM (HjPtV)

195 I'm pretty sure this wasn't the first time Piers had balls flying at his face. It won't be the last either.

Posted by: Lucky Pierre at December 27, 2013 10:29 AM (5fSr7)

196 Wait. What? You don't understand Andy K.? This will help https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eemJfruOvz0 To include him in a conversation with Piers is blasphemy.

Posted by: Bobby Ahr at December 27, 2013 10:30 AM (zmZ2x)

197 192 I played inter-mural coed basketball a couple of times for friends who needed a guy on their team. The rules were really weird and restrictive for guys.

They should've just played 6-on-6 basketball with the men on one end and the women on the other.

Actually, that'd be kinda cool.

Basically, you can't cross the midline.

Posted by: AmishDude at December 27, 2013 02:25 PM (xSegX)

OK... Holy shit creepy. I haven't dreamt about basketball since MJ played for the Bulls. Last night? Dream: I was on a co-ed team, we were playing Villanova (*no* fucking idea where that came from, I'm from Texas); blocking shots, missing layups, stealing the ball, flippin the rock to some random dude whose face I can still see.

This is some creepy shit.

Posted by: tangonine at December 27, 2013 10:30 AM (x3YFz)

198 I've met college-level female lacrosse players. Those women are warriors, and fiercely nice. I'm not denigrating any of these sports. My original point was that all sport is stupid if you over-simplify its description. Additionally that you can make any physical activity a sport if you get enough people interested in devoting their lives to perfecting how they do it.

Posted by: bonhomme[/i][/b][/i][/b] at December 27, 2013 10:30 AM (WhJf8)

199 I'm a great bowler. I can do better than that guy who only throws up to 80. I can get at least an 87.

Posted by: Obama at December 27, 2013 10:30 AM (m2CN7)

200 195 I've met college-level female lacrosse players. Those women are warriors, and fiercely nice.

Posted by: mrp at December 27, 2013 02:28 PM (HjPtV)

And so are the engineering students.

Book. Cover. et al.

Posted by: tangonine at December 27, 2013 10:32 AM (x3YFz)

201 They should've just played 6-on-6 basketball with the men on one end and the women on the other. Actually, that'd be kinda cool. Basically, you can't cross the midline. I forgot to mention another rule. The points scored had to be divided evenly between men and women. It was also acceptable if the women scored more points than the men.

Posted by: bonhomme[/i][/b][/i][/b] at December 27, 2013 10:32 AM (WhJf8)

202 It's possible your inclusion in the camping party came about during a discussion of how best to get out of a bear attack. Just possible, mind you. Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Now with extra taunting. at December 27, 2013 02:10 PM (VtjlW) Bears are fascinated by gingers and, as you know, I shave my head. Soooooo.....jus' sayin'

Posted by: Sean Bannion[/i][/i][/u][/s] at December 27, 2013 10:32 AM (6T8Ay)

203 So is the bowler required to run the 100-yd dash before delivery, 'cause that seems like a heck of a lot of wasted energy in order to throw the ball.

Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at December 27, 2013 10:33 AM (eHIJJ)

204 /nod if you know what I mean. Posted by: tangonine at December 27, 2013 02:22 PM (x3YFz) ::: becomes a bobblehead doll ::: Preach it, brother.

Posted by: Sean Bannion[/i][/i][/u][/s] at December 27, 2013 10:34 AM (6T8Ay)

205 126 I thought ace was on va cay cay, no? No. As I understood he's half-assing because Christmas was on Wednesday. Ergo, some of the old posts.

Posted by: olddog in mo at December 27, 2013 10:34 AM (4R4zF)

206 Andy Kaufman was a sad little madman who was heavily facilitated by people who wanted to make money off him or were on the "Emperor's New Clothes" bandwagon to shout louder that he was a genius and actually funny.

Posted by: Christopher Taylor at December 27, 2013 10:35 AM (zfY+H)

207 Got to hand it to a man despised in every English speaking nation on Earth.

Posted by: Ed Mahmoud at December 27, 2013 10:36 AM (4mrXD)

208

There is a sport, a competition and a game. A sport can be all three but a competition and a game cannot always be considered a sport.

For example, Darts is a competition and a game. It is not a sport. Any competition that relies on subjective judging is not a sport. Exception - fighting events which is a combination. At one time it was pure sport. Fight until someone quits or made to quit.

Posted by: Obama at December 27, 2013 10:36 AM (m2CN7)

209 /nod if you know what I mean. FIRST, I LOOK AT THE PURSE http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T406st4Fb9k

Posted by: Nashville Pussy at December 27, 2013 10:39 AM (cyvkk)

210 Any competition that relies on subjective judging is not a sport. Relies on, or is subject to? Because every really popular sport has subjective judging. Basketball, baseball, football, and soccer all have subjective judging. Example: In football the refs can call a pass interference not a pass interference if they judge the receiver couldn't have reached the ball. I've seen them judge PI that way when the receiver only was a couple of steps away from the thrown ball. How do they know the receiver couldn't have gone those two extra steps without interference? Subjective.

Posted by: bonhomme[/i][/b][/i][/b] at December 27, 2013 10:41 AM (WhJf8)

211 208 Got to hand it to a man despised in every English speaking nation on Earth.

Posted by: Ed Mahmoud at December 27, 2013 02:36 PM (4mrXD)

Define "it"

Posted by: tangonine at December 27, 2013 10:42 AM (x3YFz)

212 Something tells me Piers is part Scandi

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at December 27, 2013 10:47 AM (HVff2)

213

Rocks and garbage.

Posted by: Ed Mahmoud at December 27, 2013 10:47 AM (4mrXD)

214 >>If I understand cricket now, it appears that the pitcher gets to soften up the batter for a while so that he's afraid to guard the wickets. Not too far off. There's a loosely enforced limit of one bouncer (a ball aimed at the head) per over (six pitches), but otherwise there's no penalty for hitting the batter with the ball. On the other hand, if the batter can get around on it, those balls at the batter's body are easy to hook into the stands for 6 (equivalent to a home run) or to tip behind you for runs. In his prime, Brett Lee could top 100 mph, which would put him among the fastest major league pitchers. The distance from the line where the bowler delivers the ball to the line where the batter stands is a little shorter than the distance to the mound to the plate in baseball, so there's less reaction time for the batter. The ball is a little smaller, a little heavier, and a little harder than a baseball, but of similar construction. I have 21 stitches in my lip courtesy of a Jamaican teammate who didn't understand 1 for the fastball and 2 for the curve. The guys who bowl medium speed (about 70 mph) can get some wicked curve on the ball, especially after one side gets scuffed up and the team is keeping the other side shiny. The spin bowlers are slow, but the ball changes direction sharply when it bounces, and they make you look like a fool swinging and missing. The bowlers have to keep their arm straight, which is why it looks funny and why the fast bowlers are running in for extra speed. Otto (who played the game in the days before batting helmets--I wore one in the field if I was playing close to the batter: I mean like 10 feet from the batter close)

Posted by: Otto Zilch at December 27, 2013 10:56 AM (iNtQQ)

215 That was excellent, except for the boot licker who was vamping for a cheer for Piers. Why did he do it? The English seem to like weird punishments. It gives them tingles in their nether regions.

Posted by: Maximus at December 27, 2013 10:57 AM (P9anf)

216 George Plimpton, as a journalist, did things like take snaps as QB with the Detroit Lions at practice, to experience the rough and dirty for himself, but he wasn't an a-hole, and nobody ever really tried to hurt him.

Posted by: Ed Mahmoud at December 27, 2013 10:58 AM (4mrXD)

217

Lawrence of Arabia was an Englishman who developed a taste for weird punishments after being raped by the Turks.

Not saying any Turks raped Piers. That I know of.

Posted by: Ed Mahmoud at December 27, 2013 10:59 AM (4mrXD)

218

'Professional Wrestling Villain' makes me think of Dick The Bruiser, a former lineman for the Packers in the mid- to late 50's, hulking and caveman-like, who went into professional wrestling after his football career ended. Dick was from Indiana, and was a big home state hero to Hoosier kids for years and years. What we didn't know was that in every other venue outside of his home state, Dick was the ultimate Professional Wrestling Villain: ruthless and mean, hater of all things wholesome and decent and good.

Loved that guy, who passed away several years ago. Dick raised thousands--maybe millions--for local and state children's charities. Wish he was still around.

Posted by: troyriser at December 27, 2013 11:02 AM (gNlvW)

219 At least Kaufman never made any pretence of being a serious political commentator.

Posted by: perturbed at December 27, 2013 11:04 AM (TXq4O)

220

Johnny Knoxville and Steve-O do it better.

Posted by: CoachS at December 27, 2013 11:05 AM (TcRVV)

221 You know who would get Piers to stop this, right? You know whose fastball would kill him ...right? Don't make me say it....don't.

Posted by: Mallamutt, at December 27, 2013 11:06 AM (8pa6F)

222 Gotta love the Aussies. Wouldn't give him applause.

And what were they chanting?

Posted by: elf at December 27, 2013 11:14 AM (dcvzT)

223 Shit, I've only bowled a cricket ball a couple of times, but I'm better than that Aussie wannabe on my worst day. He's supposed to be hitting the wickets, not the batsman, though I certainly understand why he would in this particular instance. Of course Piers is supposed to defend himself a little by actually getting the bat off his shoulder and putting the ball into play.

Pathetic all around.

Posted by: Sharkman at December 27, 2013 11:16 AM (TM1p8)

224 A criket ball is like a firking rock, worse than a baseball with a raised ridgeline that creates diversion when it hits the ground, behaves like a buzzsaw when it hits a person. All in all very entertaining to see Piers hit with one over and over..

Posted by: dirks strewn at December 27, 2013 11:27 AM (l7oVN)

225

219 'Professional Wrestling Villain' makes me think of Dick The Bruiser.

I was always a big fan of Baron von Rashke myself. I don't think he did much charity work after "the war". But, he did invent "The Claw"! Perhaps the greatest and little used wrestling holds. And, von R. would rub his butt in Verne Gagne's face. (I hated Gange. Cheap shot artist).

And, yes, I am old enough to have seen these dorks at the old Chicago Stadium!

Posted by: havildar-major at December 27, 2013 12:17 PM (kduZC)

226 Greetings: Well, as my favorite Platoon Sergeant taught me, when the going gets tough, the tough get going, and the smart are already gone. The only thing that would top this would be to see President Obama throw out the first pitch five or six times in a row.

Posted by: 11B40 at December 27, 2013 12:54 PM (Py3Ds)

227 Cricket is actually a form of warfare.

Posted by: The Guide at December 27, 2013 02:09 PM (s8V4u)

228 Shoulda given old Piers a little "chin music". Maybe one would've connected so the the prick would be nursing a wired jaw and we wouldn't have to listen to him for awhile.

Posted by: Ned at December 27, 2013 04:28 PM (sJH4q)

229 I know you yanks won't give a shit but I have to try. In cricket, the ball is bowled not pitched. It is illegal for the bowler to straighten the arm during the action. No throwing allowed until it has come off the bat and is in the field of play. Bowling at the body is allowed and is used by the faster bowlers to intimidate and get the batsman moving around the crease (see how keen Piers was to move away and expose his stumps which are the target ultimately.) A very fast bowler called Mitchell Johnson (regularly bowling at 90+ MPH) has recently been terrorising the English batsman on their tour of Australia. Piers decided the English were not performing based on cowardice and said so on twitter. A lot. Bear in mind that the rolled and cut grass strip that is used to play the game on, often cracks over the course of a 5 day game. The length of the strip is 22 yards. The bowlers can curve the ball in the air similar to a baseball pitcher, but since the ball lands on the ground on the way to the batter, the deviation if it hits a crack is from the ground not the hand (often it is both). The ball would typically land less than 10 - 12 yards away. At 95 MPH that isn't a lot of time to react. Piers just learned the hard way why gifted athletes with superb hand eye coordination still sometimes struggle, whether that be in cricket, baseball or any number of bat sports. However, I'll bet he hasn't learned that big mouth idiots should shut their teeth and show a little respect.

Posted by: Myeviltwindidit at December 27, 2013 05:21 PM (L+Tq7)

230 Hmmm-m-m...

Well - that wassorta-kinda fun to watch, I s'pose.

Seeing a big-mouth know-nothing dork like Morgan get battered and bruised by someone who actually knows what they're doing, and is good at doing it, is always amusing...

Still - there is one wee point I didn't fully understand: Why wasn't the Aussie bowler whipping a series of round-bodied fragmentation grenades at the talk-show clown, in place of that marginally-damaging ball?

I mean - it is Piers "I Have A Totally Stupid, Arrogant View On Nearly Everything" Morgan, after all.

Posted by: J.S.Bridges at December 27, 2013 11:43 PM (pIfuh)

231 From Australia Andrew Bolt's take on this pitiful scene http://tinyurl.com/lus5cmu "But, a bit late, I realised pride could have killed Morgan live on television - and not just broken his bones"

Posted by: Tmitss at December 28, 2013 04:02 PM (aVsJj)

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