Ace of Spades HQ

October 10, 2013

Pole dancers and fetish sex workshops -- NOT shutdown.
— Purple Avenger

Of course. How could it be any other way.

A public university has invited the owner of an Â“eco-friendlyÂ” sex toy shop to teach students about Â“fetish gearÂ” and a pole dancer to teach students how to talk about what Â“turns [them] on.Â”
University of Maryland (UMD) is partnering with The Garden, a sex toy shop in Washington, DC, to host the workshops next Tuesday as part of its sex week, which runs from October 15-18...
...All events are sponsored by U of MD, which receives both federal and state tax dollars.

What has America become when we produce students so dumb they can't figure this stuff out on their own like past generation did? Seriously.

Posted by: Purple Avenger at 05:14 AM | Comments (117)
Post contains 131 words, total size 1 kb.

Its Maryland Ace. Take a walk around the inner harbor and all will be revealed. BTW - FIRST!!!

Posted by: Chaos, it the other dark meat at October 10, 2013 05:16 AM (oDCMR)

2 It's the professors who are still trying to figure it out--the student angle is just a head fake.

Posted by: Juan de Hattatime at October 10, 2013 05:17 AM (2tpzp)

3 I'm criminally stupid then because I wasn't taught this in college and have never had any interest in educating myself about fetish gear. ;^)

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at October 10, 2013 05:17 AM (a4Omg)

4 Those condoms won't put themselves on bananas.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit at October 10, 2013 05:18 AM (0HooB)

5 Questions for the Q and A after...

Okay, where exactly DO the batteries go on the XZ406 XL clit smacker?

Posted by: Bruce at October 10, 2013 05:18 AM (3u0JL)

6 I got nothin, cept, I went to college in the wrong decade.

Posted by: Oldsailors Poet Palin/Bolton 2016 at October 10, 2013 05:18 AM (XIxXP)

7 What the hell is a "Sex Week"? You would think that they would know everything about sex by that point seeing as they start sex ed in 4th grade now.

Posted by: Flyguy at October 10, 2013 05:18 AM (4eLZN)

8 Posted by: FenelonSpoke at October 10, 2013 09:17 AM (a4Omg)
----------

Let me know if I can be of assistance.

Posted by: RioBravo at October 10, 2013 05:18 AM (eEfYn)

9 Liberals need training in how to become a better masochist. It's like what they do in politics, they love hurting other people.

Posted by: Kaitian at October 10, 2013 05:19 AM (7UMow)

10 I thought sex week coincided with rush week. A week of stupid decisions by many.

Posted by: Bruce at October 10, 2013 05:19 AM (3u0JL)

11 Sooo, these kids can't say, "Let's fuck" without help?

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit at October 10, 2013 05:19 AM (0HooB)

12 Related shock video linked on Drudge. Student at CU in the People's Republic of Boulder blame the Chocolate Fuhrer for shutnado and say zero are is stupid.

Posted by: WalrusRex at October 10, 2013 05:20 AM (ee9LE)

13 Pandas!

Posted by: Retread at October 10, 2013 05:20 AM (yU1Dt)

14 Liberals need training in how to become a better masochist. It's like what they do in politics, they love hurting other people. Posted by: Kaitian at October 10, 2013 09:19 AM (7UMow) Yep, they should learn not to leave marks and give us a safe word.

Posted by: Oldsailors Poet Palin/Bolton 2016 at October 10, 2013 05:20 AM (XIxXP)

15 Sooo, these kids can't say, "Let's fuck" without help?

---------

That's the easy part. It is the ducking afterward that requires practice.

Posted by: RioBravo at October 10, 2013 05:20 AM (eEfYn)

16 I guess the toaster workshop is still on, then?

Posted by: rickl at October 10, 2013 05:21 AM (zoehZ)

17 Teaching sex ed in school wasn't enough. Now they are teaching about perversion of sex which is why it's called 'fetish'. This is abnormal behavior.

Posted by: Voices, I hear voices at October 10, 2013 05:21 AM (5ZpN/)

18 This is abnormal behavior.

Posted by: Voices, I hear voices at October 10, 2013 09:21 AM (5ZpN/)

Being a liberal is abnormal behavior. See Obama.

Posted by: Kaitian at October 10, 2013 05:22 AM (7UMow)

19 Next up: "Grooming tips for your Walk of Shame."

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit at October 10, 2013 05:22 AM (0HooB)

20 SMOD. Now more than ever. Seriously you guys, mankind is too stupid to live.

Posted by: Jones in CO at October 10, 2013 05:22 AM (8sCoq)

21 So, are there going to be special guest lectures by Carlos Danger?

Posted by: Flyguy at October 10, 2013 05:22 AM (4eLZN)

22 Will Carlos Danger be a guest speaker or will he mail it in?

Posted by: Chaos, it the other dark meat at October 10, 2013 05:22 AM (oDCMR)

23 They must have missed the website that I saw (just looking around...honest honey) on how to fap and enjoy eating what nature, um shall we say, put into your hand.

I guess a socks not good enough for some people.

Posted by: Bruce at October 10, 2013 05:22 AM (3u0JL)

24 The people who take these classes are either using it as a quick stupid credit where there's no chance of failure, or are starry-eyed little idiots like the scrunt on the one overnight open thred who made a t-shirt design of a hand masturbating a menstrating vagina. Because Patriarchy! They honestly believe EVERYBODY needs to be loud and obnoxious about who, what, how, when, and where they had sex or the patriarchy is oppressing their right to have sex The first group makes me roll my eyes, the second group makes me want to hit something. Preferably them.

Posted by: nnptcgrad at October 10, 2013 05:22 AM (z0y+H)

And then outside the presentation they can hand out information concerning date rape, all heterosexual sex being rape, and intoxication defeating consent. The messaging at college is all over the place.

Posted by: Beagle at October 10, 2013 05:22 AM (sOtz/)

26 So, are there going to be special guest lectures by Carlos Danger?

Posted by: Flyguy at October 10, 2013 09:22 AM (4eLZN)

He'll be tweeting in.

Posted by: Kaitian at October 10, 2013 05:23 AM (7UMow)

27 "What has America become when we produce students so dumb they can't figure this stuff out on their own like past generation did? Serioiusly" - I wonder this myself, and its gotten some play here especially with Miley Cyrus - young kids acting like they are the first ones to ever have hormones, I think back to when I was younger and I remember thinking I was the first one to ever think politicians were corrupt or something (college is mostly for being stupid I guess) and I guess you think that your parents never "did it" but the "sex" stuff is everywhere, more so that 20 years ago, and its less and less shocking yet the early 20s crowd seems to not notice and think they came up with it all? is this the total lack of critical thinking skills rearing its ugly head, how do you get a sex shop on campus and still think you are rebelling?

Posted by: chelsea danger at October 10, 2013 05:23 AM (KfDDN)

28 >Student at CU in the People's Republic of Boulder blame the Chocolate Fuhrer for shutnado and say zero are is stupid.

wtf?

Posted by: Jones in CO at October 10, 2013 05:23 AM (8sCoq)

29 All events are sponsored by U of MD, which receives both federal and state tax dollars.

Another good use of tax dollars. And it will be of immense help to the students when they are looking for a job. Well if there were any jobs to begin with. But jobs and the economy obviously aren't important any more as evidenced by the last election

Posted by: TheQuietMan at October 10, 2013 05:23 AM (1Jaio)

30 Flyguy - synchronicity hits. 21-22.

Posted by: Chaos, it the other dark meat at October 10, 2013 05:23 AM (oDCMR)

31 Also on Drudge, unemployment claims up 21%. Government says because of shutnado. I'm thinking it might be because of some massive failure of some government program.

Posted by: WalrusRex at October 10, 2013 05:23 AM (ee9LE)

32 This is abnormal behavior. Posted by: Voices, I hear voices at October 10, 2013 09:21 AM (5ZpN/) speak for yourself, normy. Cereal, College really isn't the place. They should have a "Cool" Aunt or other close relitive like a normal perv.

Posted by: Oldsailors Poet Palin/Bolton 2016 at October 10, 2013 05:24 AM (XIxXP)

33 [Falsetto voice]: Hey, mind your own business, buster.

Posted by: Billy the Dildo at October 10, 2013 05:24 AM (OZmbA)

34 How proud must these parents be?

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit at October 10, 2013 05:24 AM (0HooB)

35 What is there to be taught about pole dancing? How do you expand that into a semester hour?

Posted by: Vic at October 10, 2013 05:24 AM (zZbNF)

36 Student apathy so bad, tuition dropping, authorities go full throttle sex for enrollment. Given, the "higher educational" institution and professors are losers, perverts and molesters. But the illicit thrill of sex stems from the unsanctioned. So the only kids who enroll are social outcasts trying to get cred for bed, and predators.

Posted by: panzernashorn at October 10, 2013 05:25 AM (MhA4j)

37 34 How proud must these parents be? Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit at October 10, 2013 09:24 AM (0HooB)

They probably don't even know their kids are taking that crap.

Posted by: Kaitian at October 10, 2013 05:25 AM (7UMow)

38 What is there to be taught about pole dancing? How do you expand that into a semester hour? Posted by: Vic at October 10, 2013 09:24 AM (zZbNF) Maybe it's Phys Ed. If they can have bowling, they can have pole dancing.

Posted by: Oldsailors Poet Palin/Bolton 2016 at October 10, 2013 05:26 AM (XIxXP)

39 Perhaps dominatrix and pole dancing may be the only employment opportunities available after graduation?

Then this would be very forward thinking.

Posted by: Purp[/i][/b][/u][/s] at October 10, 2013 05:26 AM (l5zzX)

40 Also on Drudge, unemployment claims up 21%. Government says because of shutnado. I'm thinking it might be because of some massive failure of some government program.
Posted by: WalrusRex

What they are not saying is, the numbers are from September 21. I think this is a few weeks before shutdown.

Posted by: Bruce at October 10, 2013 05:26 AM (3u0JL)

Another good use of tax dollars. And it will be of immense help to the students when they are looking for a job. Well if there were any jobs to begin with. But jobs and the economy obviously aren't important any more as evidenced by the last election

Your government atwerk.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit at October 10, 2013 05:26 AM (0HooB)

42 So what is the interest rate on a Student Loan? Imagine 10 years from now these idgits will be paying for their counseled libido. All of this is free - just let your fingers do the walking on the internet.

Posted by: Chaos, it the other dark meat at October 10, 2013 05:26 AM (oDCMR)

43 35. folk dancing

Posted by: panzernashorn at October 10, 2013 05:27 AM (MhA4j)

44 Your government atwerk. Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit at October 10, 2013 09:26 AM (0HooB) LOL, well done.

Posted by: Oldsailors Poet Palin/Bolton 2016 at October 10, 2013 05:27 AM (XIxXP)

45 They need that program for their PhD program in dirty old man and pervert.

I'll help them write their dissertation.

Posted by: Vic at October 10, 2013 05:27 AM (zZbNF)

46 Man, I woke up with a serious case of morning wood. You might not wanna use the toaster IYKWIMAITTYD.

Posted by: mugiwara at October 10, 2013 05:27 AM (W7ffl)

47 Does this have anything to do with the Juno probe running in "safe mode"?

Posted by: Foghorn Leghorn at October 10, 2013 05:28 AM (l0lja)

48 I've said it before here and elsewhere- Ã˜-Merica's collective IQ has dropped 40-50 points since Clinton. We are dumber than a bag of hammers as a group.

Posted by: backhoe at October 10, 2013 05:28 AM (ULH4o)

49
Since we have men sticking their junk in vacuum cleaners and toasters, maybe they do need to teach this stuff in college?

Posted by: Sticky Wicket at October 10, 2013 05:28 AM (0IhFx)

50 Chaos, it the other dark meat at October 10, 2013 09:23 AM

Great minds, thinking, similarly, some assembly required.

And it will be of immense help to the students when they are looking for a job. Well if there were any jobs to begin with.

I'd pay to read one of their resumes. "Attended Sex Week at U of MD: Gold Star in Flogging".

Posted by: Flyguy at October 10, 2013 05:28 AM (4eLZN)

51 if you can be atwitter, you can be atwerk

Posted by: Jones in CO at October 10, 2013 05:28 AM (8sCoq)

52 What is there to be taught about pole dancing? How do you expand that into a semester hour?
Posted by: Vic

Synchronized pole dancing. Put it in the winter Olympics.

Posted by: Bruce at October 10, 2013 05:28 AM (3u0JL)

>>Also on Drudge, unemployment claims up 21%. Government says because of shutnado. I'm thinking it might be because of some massive failure of some government program.

.Don't you have to wait until you have been out of work for at least two weeks? It used to be that way in Connecticut the one time I filed.

Posted by: Registered Voter at October 10, 2013 05:29 AM (MZGhy)

54 Synchronized pole dancing. Put it in the winter Olympics. Posted by: Bruce at October 10, 2013 09:28 AM (3u0JL) next to pole vaulting

Posted by: panzernashorn at October 10, 2013 05:29 AM (MhA4j)

55 Twerking. Is Obama the Miley Cyrus of Presidents? For some reason I can see him touching himself with a foam finger while being anally penetrated by some odd man in a striped suit while Teddy Bears dance and wave. Why do I have this image?

Posted by: Chaos, it the other dark meat at October 10, 2013 05:29 AM (oDCMR)

56 42 So what is the interest rate on a Student Loan? Posted by: Chaos, it the other dark meat at October 10, 2013 09:26 AM (oDCMR)

The interest rate is 3.8% for subsidized and 6.8% unsubsidized. Thankfully, I'm gainfully employed with a Fortune 50 company when I start having to pay back this shit.

Posted by: Kaitian at October 10, 2013 05:29 AM (7UMow)

Eco-friendly sex toys?

"F**k the Earth."

"We can help you with that"

Posted by: Bigby's Obscene Hand Gestures at October 10, 2013 05:30 AM (3ZtZW)

58 Perhaps dominatrix and pole dancing may be the only employment opportunities available after graduation? Then this would be very forward thinking. Posted by: Purp at October 10, 2013 09:26 AM (l5zzX) Yeah, but then the market floods and a #3 with a spanking will go from $500 to $50. Then it becomes unsafe, the Gov. will step in and trade leather for nerf and make subs wear helmets and there you go...

Posted by: Oldsailors Poet Palin/Bolton 2016 at October 10, 2013 05:30 AM (XIxXP)

59 Poat needz moar Diplo (probably NSFW): http://vimeo.com/45170769 Why, yes, yes I will find any excuse to post that. Why do you ask?

Posted by: alexthechick - Bring the SMOD at October 10, 2013 05:30 AM (VtjlW)

60
Don't you have to wait until you have been out of work for at least two weeks? It used to be that way in Connecticutthe one time I filed.

You can apply immediately, but you get no benefits for some period of time. I think it's three weeks in PA.

So, as usual, the feds claim about shutdown don't pass the sniff test.

Posted by: Sticky Wicket at October 10, 2013 05:30 AM (0IhFx)

61 Madagascar-- plague and they burn tourists alive. What a vacation spot!

Posted by: Jesse Pinkman at October 10, 2013 05:31 AM (H2XQu)

62 Posted by: Jones in CO at October 10, 2013 09:23 AM (8sCoq) I think maybe the Goose Gestapo tactics of the Spite House have revealed Zero to be uncool. The cool ones are are the rebels who are defying the Goose Gestapo and Zero is the man. They're freaking the squares and Zero is the square. It's either that or else college students have actually grown up and know what they're talking about and, he'll, we both know that's not true.

Posted by: WalrusRex at October 10, 2013 05:31 AM (ee9LE)

"Okay, where exactly DO the batteries go on the XZ406 XL clit smacker?"

I fear the art of manual clit smacking will be lost among all this automation.

Posted by: jwest at October 10, 2013 05:31 AM (u2a4R)

If Discovery combined "Shark Week" with "Sex Week" what would happen?

Posted by: Foghorn Leghorn at October 10, 2013 05:31 AM (l0lja)

65 61 Madagascar-- plague and they burn tourists alive. What a vacation spot!
Posted by: Jesse Pinkman at October 10, 2013 09:31 AM (H2XQu)

Not in Pandemic the game. Madagascar always shuts down at the first sign of a pandemic.

Posted by: Kaitian at October 10, 2013 05:32 AM (7UMow)

66 Your government atwerk. Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit at October 10, 2013 09:26 AM (0HooB) :::: golf claps ::::

Posted by: baldilocks at October 10, 2013 05:32 AM (Tnlh/)

I want to thank President Obama for saving our country from the dumb-ass Republicans which continually lie aout the state of the Nation. Also all those stupid students at UC Boulder for turning on President Obama, they should be expelled. What are these students learning there ...Capitalism? Dumb-Ass students should re-think about who is to blame for this non-eventful government shutdown.

Posted by: Fart Tube Jones at October 10, 2013 05:32 AM (R8X+X)

68 I fear the art of manual clit smacking will be lost among all this automation. Posted by: jwest at October 10, 2013 09:31 AM (u2a4R) Then you'll have to traval to the retirement homes and learn at the knee of the elders.

Posted by: Oldsailors Poet Palin/Bolton 2016 at October 10, 2013 05:33 AM (XIxXP)

69 the Gov. will step in and trade leather for nerf and make subs wear helmets and there you go...
Posted by: Oldsailors Poet Palin/Bolton 2016 at October 10, 2013 09:30 AM (XIxXP)

Jacking off will be verboten unless properly conducted by a government agent.

Posted by: Kaitian at October 10, 2013 05:33 AM (7UMow)

70 If Discovery combined "Shark Week" with "Sex Week" what would happen?
Posted by: Foghorn Leghorn

It'll be about a toothy black hole like mine.
Nothing can escape it!!!

Posted by: Sandra Fluke at October 10, 2013 05:33 AM (3u0JL)

Student apathy so bad, tuition dropping, authorities go full throttle sex for enrollment.

It's not unlike the push for state gambling, casinos, lotteries and such: we can't do things such as produce products or make tangible contributions to everyday life (the former basis of a stable economy), so we have to turn to the frivolous in order to "make money." Based as it is on disposable income, it will fluctuate wildly.

I've noticed a distinct trend lately in commercials showing people doing nothing productive, just recreating, listening to music, or engaged in things that benefit no one else. It's rather nebulous, I know, but it's still there.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit at October 10, 2013 05:33 AM (0HooB)

72 University of Maryland out-of-state tuition is 41,473. 40 grand to get classes like that? Exactly how does that prepare you for the post-college world? What. A. Waste.

Posted by: Mainah at October 10, 2013 05:33 AM (659DL)

>>>The people who take these classes are either using it as a quick stupid credit where there's no chance of failure

Dude, its a required course in the Patriarchy Studies dept. And over half the students fail! And its graded on a curve, man!

Posted by: Bigby's Obscene Hand Gestures at October 10, 2013 05:34 AM (3ZtZW)

74 Remember, everyone, the definition of kink is the weird shit that other people like.

Posted by: alexthechick - Bring the SMOD at October 10, 2013 05:34 AM (VtjlW)

75 38 What is there to be taught about pole dancing? How do you expand that into a semester hour? Posted by: Vic at October 10, 2013 09:24 AM (zZbNF) Maybe it's Phys Ed. If they can have bowling, they can have pole dancing. Isn't it more of a trade school type course?

Posted by: fluffy at October 10, 2013 05:35 AM (z9HTb)

Only you can prevent the fire down below.

I'm teaching and encouraging it!

Posted by: Smokey the Fetish Fascist at October 10, 2013 05:36 AM (h0T3E)

teach students about Â“fetish gearÂ” and a pole dancer to teach students how to talk about what Â“turns [them] on.Â”

---

Can she teach my wife to listen to what turns me on?

Posted by: Buzzsaw90 at October 10, 2013 05:36 AM (SO2Q8)

78 If Discovery combined "Shark Week" with "Sex Week" what would happen?

Wasn't that sort of the subtext of "Sharknado"?

Posted by: Ian S. at October 10, 2013 05:36 AM (T6c9C)

79 Isn't it more of a trade school type course?

Posted by: fluffy

Maybe I could just audit the class?

Posted by: Bruce at October 10, 2013 05:36 AM (3u0JL)

80 Pandas are going extinct because they can't be arsed to reproduce. Sooooo...they're human pandas?

Posted by: Brother Cavil at October 10, 2013 05:36 AM (naUcP)

81 Can she teach my wife to listen to what turns me on? Posted by: Buzzsaw90 at October 10, 2013 09:36 AM (SO2Q

That part of the brain was destroyed by a special Chemical in wedding cake.

Posted by: Oldsailors Poet Palin/Bolton 2016 at October 10, 2013 05:37 AM (XIxXP)

82 How on earth can they justify the educational value of this?
I'd like to see what they offer on straight US History and Civics(and by straight, I mean taught without an angle, such as 'queer agriculture in colonial times', or 'women's fashion during the civil war era', etc.).

Posted by: Lizzy at October 10, 2013 05:37 AM (JRmiD)

83 After the treatment Maryland got from Florida State last weekend, they should be accustomed to bottoms. So, anyone recruiting potential job candidates from UMd? If as a potential employer, you even make a sideways reference to sexual behavior, your ass will be investigated by the EEOC, let alone if a Millennial Snowfluke brings it up on her own. Best to avoid the risk and shitcan the UMd resumes.

Posted by: Big Fat Meanie at October 10, 2013 05:37 AM (Ec6wH)

84 >>> Then you'll have to traval to the retirement homes and learn at the knee of the elders. Thanks for that. I'm going into hiding.

Posted by: fluffy's dick at October 10, 2013 05:37 AM (z9HTb)

85 I think kids should learn about pole-dancing the old fashioned way: in a hooker's trailer in Elko, Nevada.

Posted by: Exceptionally Mediocre at October 10, 2013 05:37 AM (ZKGJl)

86 Dump up! Please conduct willow there post haste!

Posted by: Brother Cavil at October 10, 2013 05:37 AM (naUcP)

87 Well we are up in the 60s now so I can do my morning walk. bbl

Posted by: Vic at October 10, 2013 05:38 AM (zZbNF)

72" University of Maryland out-of-state tuition is 41,473. 40 grand to get classes like that? Exactly how does that prepare you for the post-college world? What. A. Waste. "

If it improves their ball-licking technique to the point that they can get a Sugar Daddy, it will be money well spent.

Sugar Baby positions are about the only reasonably paid jobs left.

Posted by: jwest at October 10, 2013 05:38 AM (u2a4R)

89 Eco friendly? Hellooooo produce aisle.

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at October 10, 2013 05:38 AM (659DL)

And remember, folks - Obamacare put all student loan funding in the hands of the federal government, so ALL of us are paying for this.

We are also all paying for the birth control pills for the young "ladies" who take classes like this, expect to have sex whenever, wherever, and with whomever, but don't want to be burdened with a future taxpayer.

Guess they don't want the kids coming up behind them to have any fun, 'cuz the money's gonna run out sometime.....

Posted by: Teresa in Fort Worth, TX at October 10, 2013 05:39 AM (PZ6/M)

Synchronized pole dancing. Put it in the winter Olympics.

As if we can compete with the Japanese when it comes to fetish sports...

Posted by: Buzzsaw90 at October 10, 2013 05:39 AM (SO2Q8)

I was trying to think of an anology to the Obamacare waivers and exemptions given by Obama that a young moron in training could related to.

How about these particular groups of 18 year olds can drink but the rest of you have to wait until you are 21?

Posted by: polynikes at October 10, 2013 05:40 AM (m2CN7)

93 What the hell is an "eco-freindly" sex toy?

Posted by: JackStraw at October 10, 2013 05:40 AM (g1DWB)

94 What the hell is an "eco-freindly" sex toy? Posted by: JackStraw at October 10, 2013 09:40 AM (g1DWB) A Cucumber?

Posted by: Oldsailors Poet Palin/Bolton 2016 at October 10, 2013 05:41 AM (XIxXP)

95 93 What the hell is an "eco-freindly" sex toy?
Posted by: JackStraw at October 10, 2013 09:40 AM (g1DWB)

A branch from a tree.

Posted by: Kaitian at October 10, 2013 05:41 AM (7UMow)

72" University of Maryland out-of-state tuition is 41,473. 40 grand to get classes like that? Exactly how does that prepare you for the post-college world? What. A. Waste. "

Just tell them you are an illegal immigrant and you can get the in state tuition. At least in Texas you can. Thanks Gov Perry.

Posted by: polynikes at October 10, 2013 05:41 AM (m2CN7)

If Discovery combined "Shark Week" with "Sex Week" what would happen?

---

In a few years that'd jump the vagina

Posted by: Buzzsaw90 at October 10, 2013 05:42 AM (SO2Q8)

98 As if we can compete with the Japanese when it comes to fetish sports...

PAT SUMMERALL: The Japanese team is always hard to beat in the 8 girls 1 octopus event.

JOHN MADDEN: That octopus hit her like a pro! He just (starts telestrating) wriggled a tentacle right over and BAM!

Posted by: FOX Sports at October 10, 2013 05:42 AM (T6c9C)

What the hell is an "eco-freindly" sex toy?
Posted by: JackStraw at October 10, 2013 09:40 AM (g1DWB)

A solar powered vibrator. duh.

Posted by: polynikes at October 10, 2013 05:42 AM (m2CN7)

100 You need to go to a sex shop to buy vegetables? You kids drop that squash and get out of my garden!

Posted by: JackStraw at October 10, 2013 05:43 AM (g1DWB)

101
SEX WEEK CALENDAR OF EVENTS:

Friday, October 18th

That Kind of Girl is an exploration of the vast, multi-faceted, and often bizarre experience of identifying as a woman in today's media-saturated culture. Pulling from personal experience, interviews, and research, a group of young women tell their stories and dissect the kinds of girls society accepts and rejects through sketch, poetry, dance, and multi-media storytelling.

Performance by- Pussy REP (Pussy Radically Eradicating Patriarchy)

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at October 10, 2013 05:43 AM (kdS6q)

102

What the hell is an "eco-freindly" sex toy?

---

A range-free gerbil

Posted by: Bwarney Frank at October 10, 2013 05:44 AM (SO2Q8)

103 It's a combination of narcissism, declaring how wonderful that they are because they discovered wild sex, combined with insecurity. They want validation and approval for their lifestyle, so they have to convince everyone else that if you're not engaged in non-monogamy, BDSM, exhibitionism, homosexuality, etc, that you're not "Pro-Sex".

Posted by: Colorado Alex at October 10, 2013 05:44 AM (YQ4mh)

104
7:30pm Â– 9pm, Lounge Memorial Chapel

With Groanings That Cannot be Uttered: Can Sex be a Spiritual Practice?

This 1.5 hour spiritual conversation explores in what ways does sex and sexuality open doors for our mystical and personal relationship with God and how Ancient Spiritual Practices involving meditation and contemplation help us deepen the fullness of our sexual experiences.

Facilitator: Rev. Otis Gaddis III
Sponsored by: Episcopal Campus Ministry

"What do you call an act like that?"

"The Episcopalians!"

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at October 10, 2013 05:47 AM (kdS6q)

105 I had a case sent up for review last week. There was an allegation that the driver of one of those busses that help the elderly get around was taking advantage of a 79 year old woman. The guy is in his middle fifties. He denied any sexual activity. I sent my female investigator to interview the lady. She readily admitted that she was giving him blow jobs, that she initiated it, and that it was consensual. She was kind of peeved that he denied it, though. My investigator said it was the most uncomfortable interview she'd ever done.

Posted by: WalrusRex at October 10, 2013 05:49 AM (ee9LE)

106 62 Posted by: Jones in CO at October 10, 2013 09:23 AM (8sCoq)

I think maybe the Goose Gestapo tactics of the Spite House have revealed Zero to be uncool. The cool ones are are the rebels who are defying the Goose Gestapo and Zero is the man. They're freaking the squares and Zero is the square.

It's either that or else college students have actually grown up and know what they're talking about and, he'll, we both know that's not true. Posted by: WalrusRex

Yep. "Uncool." Wonder how long it will take the rats to desert the sinking ship of Ã˜-Bozo?

Posted by: backhoe at October 10, 2013 05:50 AM (ULH4o)

107 I'm waiting for a Federal "The Year of Sex" promotion. We're just about there.

Posted by: dfbaskwill at October 10, 2013 06:06 AM (71LDo)

108 Back from walk. I think I am going to have to break out the long sweats if I continue doing these in the morning.

Posted by: Vic at October 10, 2013 06:07 AM (zZbNF)

109 93 What the hell is an "eco-freindly" sex toy? Posted by: JackStraw at October 10, 2013 09:40 AM (g1DWB) ~ A masseuses.

Posted by: Al Gore at October 10, 2013 06:12 AM (SzAZ7)

110 "...part of its sex week..."

Weeks they don't celebrate?
Citizenship week.
Constitution week.
Math week.
Science week.
English week.
...

But Sex week or LGBT week? Those are big celebrations.

I bet the questions used in that study showing US adults arent's as educated as adults in other countries didn't ask about fetish gear or what turns them on.

Posted by: John T at October 10, 2013 06:22 AM (O930g)

111 This video should help those university students understand things without exploiting any exotic workers in the future.

http://youtu.be/tgeUqnv6h-Y

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at October 10, 2013 06:27 AM (9sCKW)

112 Heard a tale of an alpaca breeder who had a male alpaca which was so fucking stupid that he had to manually put its dick inside the female's vagina for it. Never dreamed I'd come across the human equivalent.

Posted by: perturbed at October 10, 2013 06:40 AM (TXq4O)

113

Speaking of dumb students, in what other generation did a college student require a counsellor to inform him/her that a loan (e.g. college loan) needs to be paid back?

I guess that they didn't learn everything that they needed to know in kindergarten.

Posted by: Help isn't coming at October 10, 2013 07:30 AM (fJqq3)

114 Synchronized pole dancing. Put it in the winter Olympics.

Posted by: Bruce at October 10, 2013 09:28 AM (3u0JL)

You know it's coming. And it would certainly out-draw rhythmic gymnastics.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at October 10, 2013 07:43 AM (8Fl6F)

115 A Cucumber?

Posted by: Oldsailors Poet Palin/Bolton 2016 at October 10, 2013 09:41 AM (XIxXP)

Get real. Cucumbers are grown with chemical fertilizers and pesticides, man. It's gotta be free-range tofu.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at October 10, 2013 07:49 AM (8Fl6F)

116 If your first thought after "I want some sexytimes" is "I should take a class", something is truly wrong with you.

Posted by: stutterk at October 10, 2013 07:55 AM (z6eaQ)