Ace of Spades HQ

October 12, 2013

Reason #23,974 Why NYC has its reputation [CBD]
— Open Blogger

[We Politely Request That All Off-Topic or Political Comments Be Directed to the Thread Directly Below This One, Which Will Serve Officially as the Current "Active Conversation" Thread for All Discussions Not Related To This Topic.

-- Sincerely, the Fascist MGMT]

One simply cannot make up pomposity this all-encompassing.
Meals are often convivial events, where family and friends enjoy each other's company while enjoying whatever the host has prepared. That you as a guest are being fed by your host is a wonderful bonus on top of the pleasure of sharing his company.

To elevate the food over those around you is a rejection of the social compact, and is profoundly rude, elitist and self-involved.

Posted by: Open Blogger at 10:15 AM | Comments (300)
Post contains 88 words, total size 1 kb.

1 What is their fart policy?

Posted by: eman at October 12, 2013 10:17 AM (AO9UG)

2 CDB, you forgot to add a new open thread for political chat.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at October 12, 2013 10:18 AM (DmNpO)

3 For deaf people: no signing, please.

Posted by: eman at October 12, 2013 10:18 AM (AO9UG)

4 Here's what I just posted in now dead thread RE 3rd party. ( and thanks for new thread CBD!)

372 Well, I'm ready for a third party and I know the MSM would trumpet it because they know the track record.. and they'll figure it will hurt the GOP for a cycle or two. The trick will be to be big enough to push the GOP in a bin with the Whigs.
I don't know if that can be done. It would take a lot of state-level GOP to switch to new party and Governors too, and that would be tough since at the local level, the GOP is the strongest and most coherent.

Posted by: Yip at October 12, 2013 10:18 AM (/jHWN)

5 Yeah, I heard about this place. I've spent money eating out at some expensive places in NYC, but this sure as hell won't be one of them. For one, I have to assume they don't serve any booze, that kills it for me right there.

Posted by: mugiwara at October 12, 2013 10:18 AM (hpYnL)

6 so wait... silence is forbidden?

Party!

Posted by: tangonine at October 12, 2013 10:18 AM (x3YFz)

7 Posted by: Yip at October 12, 2013 02:18 PM (/jHWN) You are supposed to keep political stuff limited to political threads. ace announced this policy a few days ago.

Posted by: eman at October 12, 2013 10:19 AM (AO9UG)

8 Yes, yes, and yes. Could we have a post where commenting is banned?

Posted by: John Boehner, SuperGenius at October 12, 2013 10:21 AM (CRY7r)

9 It might be perfect for couples who have been married a long time.

Posted by: Northernlurker at October 12, 2013 10:22 AM (Xmw9g)

10 Text with abandon!

Posted by: gracepmc at October 12, 2013 10:24 AM (rznx3)

11 9 It might be perfect for couples who have been married a long time.

Posted by: Northernlurker at October 12, 2013 02:22 PM (Xmw9g)

15 years. I want to find this restaurant. And when she tries to talk I get to point a finger, raise eyebrow and say "sssst." "no." "sssssst!"

Posted by: tangonine at October 12, 2013 10:24 AM (x3YFz)

12 I'd pay 40 bucks for a silent meal, but not at a joint that only serves douchified rabbit feed.

Posted by: Lincolntf at October 12, 2013 10:25 AM (ZshNr)

13 Next up, a restaurant where eating is forbidden.

Posted by: Blanco Basura at October 12, 2013 10:25 AM (JawqV)

14 ace announced this policy a few days ago.

Posted by: eman at October 12, 2013 02:19 PM (AO9UG)

It's going to take awhile for the message to disseminate, especially when the idiot Open Blogger forgot to put up the advisory and the accompanying open thread.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at October 12, 2013 10:25 AM (/kU/5)

15 Anybody that would put up with this crap deserves to eat there.

Posted by: Harry at October 12, 2013 10:26 AM (ib4tw)

16 It's going to take awhile for the message to disseminate, especially when the idiot Open Blogger forgot to put up the advisory and the accompanying open thread.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at October 12, 2013 02:25 PM (/kU/5)

Cat herding.

Posted by: tangonine at October 12, 2013 10:26 AM (x3YFz)

17 I thought this was the "new" political thread.. sorry. I read Ace's new policy and checked the I agree box when I reinstalled the HQ 2.44 update, so I'll go back. Please forgive

Posted by: Yip at October 12, 2013 10:26 AM (/jHWN)

18 Ogg like idea where wife no talk.

Posted by: Ogg at October 12, 2013 10:27 AM (5wdHt)

19 There is an open thread about politics. I'm glad new rule is prominently posted because I missed it when Ace posted it. I found it when trying to find something else from earlier in the week.

Posted by: CarolT at October 12, 2013 10:27 AM (z4WKX)

20 That's the stupidest thing ever. Although people who seek out locally-sourced, organic blah blah blah are an ideal group to STFU more often than just when they're dining out. I'll be heading out for red meat with a side of boisterousness here in a bit.

Posted by: Andy at October 12, 2013 10:27 AM (0ZQCB)

21 So can you order scones of silence?

Not? Missed it by that much!

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at October 12, 2013 10:27 AM (XrBCE)

22 What a great place to dine with the Missus, DAILY!

Posted by: Henny Youngman at October 12, 2013 10:28 AM (6S4Ai)

23 Perfect place for conservatives in NYC to dine since Bloomberg wants them to STFU anyway!

Posted by: Hrothgar at October 12, 2013 10:28 AM (XdnQT)

24 I think we might be looking at this the wrong way... perhaps this would be an ideal place to take my girlfriend after she's had a trying day at the office.

Posted by: weew at October 12, 2013 10:28 AM (0tmLY)

25 I can understand where this comes from but it's the wrong solution.

There is a restaurant near here that has a tile floor, lots of brick walls, and a metal ceiling. It's an acoustic nightmare. It just takes one table of cackling hens to raise the acoustic level of the entire establishment above the threshold of pain.

Let the free market solve the problem. People who are not deaf will patronize other establishments.

Posted by: SpongeBobSaget at October 12, 2013 10:29 AM (kxSZr)

26 I hope they have music playing or something, because otherwise the only sound would be that of people eating. That sound is worse than nails on chalkboard to me.

Posted by: Lauren at October 12, 2013 10:29 AM (ELdpj)

27 I find it amusing that people will go to these theme restaurants in order to have enforced environments. It's as though they have no will of their own, and thus cannot conceive of creating those environments at home.

Posted by: feynmangroupie at October 12, 2013 10:29 AM (Kw0EL)

28 Does this no politics rule still apply if you have invested in the Cubic Zirconia level membership at AoS?

Posted by: Hrothgar at October 12, 2013 10:29 AM (XdnQT)

29 You know, convents and monasteries have often had these eating-in-silence policies. But I doubt the pompous proprietor would sell his food with THAT idea.

Posted by: Quint&Jessel, Sea of Azof, Bly, UK at October 12, 2013 10:30 AM (6KSs1)

30 I took a look at the menu. No red meat, just eggs and seafood.

Posted by: mrp at October 12, 2013 10:30 AM (HjPtV)

31 Hey whomever has the power, feel free to delete my #4 post since it's so high up there.. I got it in before the non-pol banner was added. sry

Posted by: Yip at October 12, 2013 10:30 AM (/jHWN)

32 Since Ogg no can speak , Does Ogg point to picture of meat slab to order ?

Posted by: Ogg at October 12, 2013 10:30 AM (5wdHt)

33 Why don't they just admit that they don't want people to bring kids?

Next up: Restaurant where you eat in the dark AND in silence.

Posted by: Lizzy at October 12, 2013 10:30 AM (JRmiD)

34 How 'bout those shy folk who find small talk awkward?

Posted by: Northernlurker at October 12, 2013 10:32 AM (Xmw9g)

35 Wait, is sign language allowed in this dump?

Posted by: Blanco Basura at October 12, 2013 10:32 AM (JawqV)

Douchebag New Yorkers shutting the fuck up once in a while? I'm all for it!

(No offence intended to New York Morons. Obviously, you're my kind of douchebag. Uh...wait...)

Posted by: Lurking Canuck at October 12, 2013 10:33 AM (ruCZw)

37 !!!!!!!!

Posted by: International Association Of French Mimes at October 12, 2013 10:34 AM (HjPtV)

38 Kewl! I'm booking it for my In-laws Christmas get together.

Posted by: Liberty Lover at October 12, 2013 10:35 AM (QAShU)

39 The Husband would fit right in, since he never talks at dinner and just chows down like an old field hand. Then again the dishes there are probably fancy and in microscopic servings.

Posted by: Lady Billingsgate (of the North) at October 12, 2013 10:35 AM (QpiXL)

40 There is something oddly appealing about listening to the sound of a roomful of people breathing, sniffling, coughing, chewing, swallowing and farting. I just can't describe it.

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at October 12, 2013 10:35 AM (N/Sup)

41 26 I hope they have music playing or something, because otherwise the only sound would be that of people eating. That sound is worse than nails on chalkboard to me.

Posted by: Lauren at October 12, 2013 02:29 PM (ELdpj)

Hah... my wife used her fingernail on the bottom of a mortar (no, not an 82mm mortar... which would be cool... but as in mortar and pestle).

I fell to the floor and curled up in the fetal position.

People using teeth that look like indian corn to gnaw on lettuce would have the same effect. I totally empathize.

Posted by: tangonine at October 12, 2013 10:36 AM (x3YFz)

42 I'd go there to eat alone. If I went with someone, I'd spend the whole time trying to to make them talk and get kicked out.

Posted by: Lincolntf at October 12, 2013 10:36 AM (ZshNr)

38 Kewl! I'm booking it for my In-laws Christmas get together.

Posted by: Liberty Lover at October 12, 2013 02:35 PM (QAShU)

***

We have a threadwinner!

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at October 12, 2013 10:36 AM (N/Sup)

44 These restaurants pop up and are "trendy" for about 4 months, struggle to stay relevant for 2 more months, then completely disappear in 6. Honestly I wonder if they only exist as money laundering fronts for the mob.

Posted by: nnptcgrad at October 12, 2013 10:37 AM (Opyrm)

45 37 Shhhh!

Posted by: loneduck at October 12, 2013 10:37 AM (trhwS)

46 With respect, I'd say that, ultimately, this is a political thread, since this degree of assholery and douchebaggery could only exist in a leftard-dominated city, be it New York, San Francisco, or Toronto or Vancouver.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at October 12, 2013 10:38 AM (8Fl6F)

47 "I totally empathize." Yay, I'm not the only one! In a similar vein, I want to punch Kipper the Dog in the face because they have him eating something in every.single.episode. It's like they think "hmm, how can we make this jazz dog more obnoxious? I know, let's have him loudly eat ice cream. That's the ticket!"

Posted by: Lauren at October 12, 2013 10:38 AM (ELdpj)

48 I understand that silence at meals is also a policy at many prisons.

Posted by: Obnoxious A-hole at October 12, 2013 10:38 AM (q1sF4)

49 Perfect excuse for ignoring the people you happen to be eating with and catch up on Angry Birds.

Posted by: Lincolntf at October 12, 2013 10:38 AM (ZshNr)

50 Do they make you whisper when you order your food? Is the restaurant full of mimes?

Posted by: L, elle at October 12, 2013 10:38 AM (0PiQ4)

51 37

Shhhh! Posted by: loneduck

Posted by: International Association Of French Mimes at October 12, 2013 10:39 AM (HjPtV)

52 A restaurant in Brooklyn's trendy Greenpoint neighborhood is serving up a four-course meal of organic, locally-sourced food, but isn't allowing any chit-chat.

Judging by the kinds of hipsters who would go there, the No Talking rule sounds like a blessing

Posted by: kbdabear at October 12, 2013 10:39 AM (aTXUx)

53 Do you really want to hear what a locally-sourced organic customer has to say?

Posted by: Lincolntf at October 12, 2013 10:40 AM (ZshNr)

Posted by: Comment from "Eat" Restaurant at October 12, 2013 10:40 AM (aTXUx)

55 At first I thought it was crazy. Then I saw New York and it made complete sense.

Posted by: Beagle at October 12, 2013 10:40 AM (sOtz/)

56 The funny thing is, as usual, I'm the opposite. I can't eat human food, so meals with others are pretty much all about the company and nothing to do with the food. Some people have a hard time coping.

Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith's Other Mobile[/i][/b][/s][/u] at October 12, 2013 10:40 AM (qyfb5)

57 Look, all I'm saying is that if we ever have a no-sock thread, I'm torching the joint. ...no pants, well, that's just another day at the HQ...

Posted by: Brother Cavil and his Flying Toaster Circus at October 12, 2013 10:40 AM (m9V0o)

58 Obviously this is not a Jewish Restaurant, because quite in a Jew Place is just below the decibel level that would bust your ear drum

Posted by: Nevergiveup at October 12, 2013 10:41 AM (UbDLm)

59 No soup for you!

Posted by: Little Boomer at October 12, 2013 10:41 AM (f3koQ)

Hey, I've got some great cleavage shots.

Plumber's butt cleavage.

Which Post should I post them on?

No really, they're great!

Posted by: Butch's Roto-Rooter and Photography at October 12, 2013 10:41 AM (tj+NP)

61 locally-sourced organic customer

cud-sue?

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at October 12, 2013 10:41 AM (XrBCE)

62 Uy eed deh ohh duh duym

Posted by: Marlee Matlin at October 12, 2013 10:41 AM (aTXUx)

With respect, I'd say that, ultimately, this is a political thread, since this degree of assholery and douchebaggery could only exist in a leftard-dominated city, be it New York, San Francisco, or Toronto or Vancouver.

We have not yet begun to douchebag!

Posted by: Vancouver at October 12, 2013 10:42 AM (ruCZw)

64 56 The funny thing is, as usual, I'm the opposite. I can't eat human food, so meals with others are pretty much all about the company and nothing to do with the food. Some people have a hard time coping. Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith's Other Mobile at October 12, 2013 02:40 PM (qyfb5) O.o What species of eating do you follow?

Posted by: nnptcgrad at October 12, 2013 10:42 AM (Opyrm)

65 *sends the talking fatted calf over to Merovign's table*

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at October 12, 2013 10:42 AM (XrBCE)

66 "Organic, locally sourced?" In New York City, famous heartland of agriculture?

"Shut up, and eat your stewed rat."

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at October 12, 2013 10:43 AM (8Fl6F)

67 So if you take your lady to this restaurant without telling her first and she gives you the silent treatment for a couple days afterward, is this a great victory? I assume the answer is yes.

Posted by: Vendette at October 12, 2013 10:43 AM (MpP9p)

68 I predict a lot of silence after the place folds.

Posted by: Baron bon Mot at October 12, 2013 10:43 AM (hf1f8)

69 52 A restaurant in Brooklyn's trendy Greenpoint neighborhood is serving up a
four-course meal of organic, locally-sourced food, but isn't allowing
any chit-chat.

Judging by the kinds of hipsters who would go there, the No Talking rule sounds like a blessing

Posted by: kbdabear at October 12, 2013 02:39 PM (aTXUx)

makes you want to walk in there and start talking with your outside voice. And then throat-snatch the first mfer that tells you to be quiet.

Posted by: tangonine at October 12, 2013 10:43 AM (x3YFz)

Obviously this is not a Jewish Restaurant, because quite in a Jew Place is just below the decibel level that would bust your ear drum

How-ARD! SHHHHHH!

Posted by: Mrs. Wolowitz at October 12, 2013 10:43 AM (ruCZw)

71 So when this eatery folds due to no customers, will it make a sound?

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at October 12, 2013 10:44 AM (XrBCE)

72 I swear we grew this heirloom arugula and Burmese curry spice in a window box on the East Side! Prove we didn't!

Posted by: Lincolntf at October 12, 2013 10:44 AM (ZshNr)

73 59 Obviously this is not a Jewish Restaurant, because quite in a Jew Place is just below the decibel level that would bust your ear drum Posted by: Nevergiveup at October 12, 2013 02:41 PM

You know when you're in an authentic Italian restaurant run by a real Italian family when you can hear all the family arguments going on in the kitchen from the dining area.

Most often heard;

"CUZ FUCK YOU, THAT'S WHY!!"

Posted by: kbdabear at October 12, 2013 10:45 AM (aTXUx)

The waiters are all mimes and you order by playing an intricate game of charades

"Sounds like..."

Posted by: DAve at October 12, 2013 10:45 AM (b7yum)

75 "There is a restaurant near here that has a tile floor, lots of brick walls, and a metal ceiling. It's an acoustic nightmare. It just takes one table of cackling hens to raise the acoustic level of the entire establishment above the threshold of pain. Let the free market solve the problem. People who are not deaf will patronize other establishments."

Some restaurant reviewers have begun to include noise ratings in their reviews. Speed the day when all do so.

Here in Scum Scamfrisco, trendy restauranteurs actually deliberately design for a high noise level with internal decor of the sort you describe. Articles about their doing so have appeared in the local press.

Because arrogant dot-com yuppies and hipster douchebags LIKE it when a restaurant sounds like the inside of a rocket nozzle at launch. They want to be where "everyone is", and if the joint is insanely loud, it sure seems like everyone's in there. And it's not as though these people have anything worthwhile or witty to say to one another, so the ruination of conversation isn't considered bad per se.

After having had to sit through two or three such deafeningly loud meals, when I now find myself in such a place, I have taken to holding up my phone, pleading a family emergency, and excusing myself from the table before orders are taken.

This glorification of noise for its own sake also extends to SF nightclubs. There is one notorious place where the noise level _on the sidewalk outside_ is something like 130dB. That's well into permanent hearing damage territory if you stand there for any length of time. Goodness knows what it's like inside.

Posted by: torquewrench at October 12, 2013 10:45 AM (gqT4g)

76 *flashes Hook'em Horns sign* *moons north side of the Red River*

Posted by: John Boehner, SuperGenius at October 12, 2013 10:45 AM (CRY7r)

77 Why not? In a free country you should be able to have no-talkng restauraunts, smoking restaurants, topless restaurants, no-kids restaurants, and no-pants restaurants.

Posted by: TB at October 12, 2013 10:45 AM (8u/5i)

78 What rhymes with salad? Pallid?

Posted by: DAve at October 12, 2013 10:46 AM (b7yum)

79 elitist self-serving narcissistic pricks. <--- restaurant name

Posted by: tangonine at October 12, 2013 10:46 AM (x3YFz)

80 What species of eating do you follow? Posted by: nnptcgrad at October 12, 2013 02:42 PM (Opyrm) Hey, space travel isn't all like Star Trek, where they always eat the local food! There are incompatibilities, you know!

Basically I have a food intolerance that's sensitive to even relatively tiny levels, so I pretty much can't eat food prepared by others, especially restaurants. Because internal bleeding is for closers.

Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith's Other Mobile[/i][/b][/s][/u] at October 12, 2013 10:46 AM (qyfb5)

81 From the link:

"Other gastronomical joints feature the ability to consume not just the food - but the menu on which it is described."

All restaurants feature this ability. Sadly, not all customers have caught on to the possibilities inherent in this, or lack either the fortitude or willpower to avail themselves of this option.

Posted by: VekTor at October 12, 2013 10:47 AM (cF7T6)

82 So what's the topic here?

Posted by: Boss Moss former editor of the Harvard Law Review at October 12, 2013 10:47 AM (a6O1A)

83 Free range pigeons!

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at October 12, 2013 10:47 AM (N/Sup)

84 83 All pies on sale at Marie Callenders this month. Is that on or off topic???

Posted by: DAve at October 12, 2013 10:48 AM (b7yum)

85 52 A restaurant in Brooklyn's trendy Greenpoint neighborhood is serving up a
four-course meal of organic, locally-sourced food, but isn't allowing
any chit-chat.

Judging by the kinds of hipsters who would go there, the No Talking rule sounds like a blessing

Posted by: kbdabear at October 12, 2013 02:39 PM (aTXUx)

Your immune system is fd.

Posted by: tangonine at October 12, 2013 10:48 AM (x3YFz)

86 "I'd pay 40 bucks for a silent meal, but not at a joint that only serves douchified rabbit feed." Me too. Though I'd probably only go for a silent meal alone. The idea of having a quiet place to eat and read or generally have a rest is a nice change from noise and movement. An interlude. Yes, I'd go for an interlude. But I would still count it that even with quiet talking around me. Someone mentioned the places that seem like they're as acoustically harsh as possible, where you feel like you're in a high school cafeteria, all hard surfaces rebounding the shrieking of teenaged girls. You can't have a conversation without shouting. It's really awful. I'd like a quiet conversation with my table mate, enough light to see my food, ... and meat.

Posted by: Synova at October 12, 2013 10:49 AM (7/PU+)

87 Aw, sorry to hear that Merovign.

Posted by: nnptcgrad at October 12, 2013 10:49 AM (Opyrm)

88 I'll have the Hush Hush Hummus to start. The Silent Salad, and then the Mute Mozzarella Sampler, finishining with the Hold Your Tongue Sandwich.

Posted by: Lincolntf at October 12, 2013 10:49 AM (ZshNr)

89 Sounds like a good place for people with no friends or family to go. Do they play angry birds while eating baby vegetables?

Posted by: Bob at October 12, 2013 10:50 AM (qTsuK)

90 Why not? In a free country you should be able to have no-talkng restauraunts, smoking restaurants, topless restaurants, no-kids restaurants, and no-pants restaurants.

Posted by: TB at October 12, 2013 02:45 PM (8u/5i)

Please show me where anyone here said they should not be allowed to do business in that fashion.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at October 12, 2013 10:50 AM (8Fl6F)

So what's the topic here?

Spatchcocking: The Silent Killer

Posted by: Lurking Canuck at October 12, 2013 10:51 AM (ruCZw)

92 Hey anyone her ever eat at Luna's in Little Italy in NYC. The waiters were rude impatient and loud. It was great

Posted by: Nevergiveup at October 12, 2013 10:51 AM (UbDLm)

93 I want to go there and chew with my mouth wide open, like a mother fucker. Because I hear they chew with their mouths wide open. A lot.

Posted by: Dang at October 12, 2013 10:52 AM (Hx2XA)

94 67 "Organic, locally sourced?" In New York City, famous heartland of agriculture?

"Shut up, and eat your stewed rat."
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at October 12, 2013 02:43 PM

Hipsters love to grow veggie gardens on the roofs of their buildings in Williamsburg and Greenpoint. Fertilized with local pigeon shit

Posted by: kbdabear at October 12, 2013 10:52 AM (aTXUx)

95 Appropriate music?

http://youtu.be/W1PNvopXjbg

Posted by: Blanco Basura at October 12, 2013 10:52 AM (JawqV)

89 I'll have the Hush Hush Hummus to start. The Silent Salad, and then the Mute Mozzarella Sampler, finishining with the Hold Your Tongue Sandwich.

Posted by: Lincolntf at October 12, 2013 02:49 PM (ZshNr)

****

I'll just have the Hush Puppies.

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at October 12, 2013 10:52 AM (N/Sup)

97 This is kind of sort of on topic, but can I rant for a second about Yelp reviews? There's a burger place/ice cream parlor here in Austin that also has a really great kids play place. The burgers are really top notch, so people without kids come as well. Then they apparently go to Yelp and give 2 star reviews because "OMG there were, like, so many kids. Kids everywhere ewww". You idiots are going to a burger joint/ice cream parlor with a huge play area. What the hell do you expect? Actually, enough being coy. The place is Phil's Icehouse. Go read the reviews. And then punch a hipster.

Posted by: Lauren at October 12, 2013 10:52 AM (ELdpj)

98 *

Posted by: A Mime at October 12, 2013 10:52 AM (5cBpo)

99 Let the free market solve the problem.
Good enough. I like quiet, but I would not spend money to at a place where I get shushed by Chad or Chelsea.

Posted by: fluffy at October 12, 2013 10:53 AM (z9HTb)

100 91 Why not? In a free country you should be able to
have no-talkng restauraunts, smoking restaurants, topless restaurants,
no-kids restaurants, and no-pants restaurants.

Posted by: TB at October 12, 2013 02:45 PM (8u/5i)

Well, I'd open a topless lingerie barbershop... but that's because MONEY!

Posted by: tangonine at October 12, 2013 10:53 AM (x3YFz)

101 Ima stay on this thread. Soo sick of politics.

Posted by: Gidget at October 12, 2013 10:53 AM (tfg7i)

102 Pro-tip, eschew the baked bean appetizer.

Posted by: Lincolntf at October 12, 2013 10:54 AM (ZshNr)

103 I've gone to some restaurants where it's just sooo noisy I end up with a headache after about five minutes, but for quiet restaurants I really like the Melting Pot fondue place. Each table is in it's own niche, with high walls separating it from the other tables, and the ceiling is low and keeps things quiet around you, but those at the table can have long conversations. It's pricy, but I'd rather eat there than the place mentioned here. Especially if I ordered the tenderloin, sirloin, and lobster. Droool...

Posted by: nnptcgrad at October 12, 2013 10:54 AM (Opyrm)

104 ...and some sshhhh-itake mushrooms.

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at October 12, 2013 10:54 AM (N/Sup)

105 Aw, sorry to hear that Merovign. Posted by: nnptcgrad at October 12, 2013 02:49 PM (Opyrm) Thanks, but it *does* mean I have an excuse to avoid both extremely noisy and enforced silence restaurants! Wait, how do they order, notes? And the "eat in the dark" think would be a definite no-go.

Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith's Other Mobile[/i][/b][/s][/u] at October 12, 2013 10:54 AM (qyfb5)

106 tangonine, you forgot to install at least one pole and a wall length mirror in your business plan.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at October 12, 2013 10:54 AM (XrBCE)

107

Does this joint have a policy regarding concealed carry patrons?

Cause I got a silencer for my 9mm.

Posted by: NRA Magazine Food Critic at October 12, 2013 10:54 AM (tj+NP)

108 Wait, I will. There should be a Federal Department of Restaurants which controls all aesthetic and menu choices. For the children.

Posted by: Beagle at October 12, 2013 10:55 AM (sOtz/)

109 I ain't sayin' nuthin ....

Posted by: Johnny Tightlips at October 12, 2013 10:55 AM (aTXUx)

110 107 tangonine, you forgot to install at least one pole and a wall length mirror in your business plan.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at October 12, 2013 02:54 PM (XrBCE)

/taking notes

Posted by: tangonine at October 12, 2013 10:56 AM (x3YFz)

111 Forgot to read the article, is the place named Omerta?

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at October 12, 2013 10:56 AM (XrBCE)

112 Are not modern conversations all done by texting anyway? OMG, this is so good! I'm getting that next time! Seriously!

Posted by: eman at October 12, 2013 10:57 AM (AO9UG)

113 CBD, I sent you the food pr0n.

Posted by: fluffy at October 12, 2013 10:57 AM (z9HTb)

114 Well, I'd open a topless lingerie barbershop... but that's because MONEY!

Posted by: tangonine at October 12, 2013 02:53 PM (x3YFz)

There was, briefly, a topless barber shop in Calgary a few years ago. I think it lasted only a few weeks, and got shut down on some bogus Board of Health beef.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at October 12, 2013 10:57 AM (8Fl6F)

115 Posted by: torquewrench at October 12, 2013 02:45 PM (gqT4g)

If you were a chick I'd offer to marry you.

Posted by: SpongeBobSaget at October 12, 2013 10:57 AM (kxSZr)

116

...and for dessert, a small slice of Key Mime pie.

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at October 12, 2013 10:57 AM (N/Sup)

117 It was still in draft. I fail email.

Posted by: fluffy at October 12, 2013 10:58 AM (z9HTb)

118 " sry " That is one sincere apology.

Posted by: nip at October 12, 2013 10:58 AM (jI23+)

119 Forgot to read the article, is the place named Omerta? Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at October 12, 2013 02:56 PM (XrBCE) Used to be. But didn't you get the memo: the mafia is singing like everyone else these days. The blood has gone thin

Posted by: Nevergiveup at October 12, 2013 10:58 AM (UbDLm)

120 There was, briefly, a topless barber shop in Calgary a few years ago. I think it lasted only a few weeks, and got shut down on some bogus Board of Health beef.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at October 12, 2013 02:57 PM (8Fl6F)

location location location

Posted by: tangonine at October 12, 2013 10:58 AM (x3YFz)

121 76

Posted by: torquewrench at October 12, 2013 02:45 PM

Zombie was posting about a 38 year old SF "Scenester" she was talking to the other night. Sounds like she could write a novel just on the alien world that are SF restaurants, clubs, and bars

Posted by: Johnny Tightlips at October 12, 2013 10:58 AM (aTXUx)

122 And the bar serves only Silent Sam vodka.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at October 12, 2013 10:59 AM (8Fl6F)

123 So they use dumb waiters?

Posted by: Lincolntf at October 12, 2013 10:59 AM (ZshNr)

124 "Next up: Restaurant where you eat in the dark AND in silence. " We'll call it Helen's place.

Posted by: pep at October 12, 2013 10:59 AM (6TB1Z)

125 Spend outrageous amounts of money on small helpings of food and wonder why you are broke.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot Jr. at October 12, 2013 11:00 AM (v1Ckr)

126 So they use dumb waiters?

Posted by: Lincolntf at October 12, 2013 02:59 PM (ZshNr)

That is awful....just awful.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at October 12, 2013 11:00 AM (/kU/5)

127

We have no talking restaurants in Peruvia because the patrons are very busy snorting dessert. Sniff. Snort. Cough. Repeat.

Posted by: Mr. Peruvian Marching Powder Band Leader at October 12, 2013 11:00 AM (pJF+c)

128 Dumb waiters? Nope.

They are all graduates of CUNY with Masters in gender studies and $100k in debt.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at October 12, 2013 11:00 AM (XrBCE)

129

Hello darkness my old friend.

I've come to talk to you again.

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at October 12, 2013 11:00 AM (N/Sup)

130 How do you order your food? Tips may be drawings of money, done by hand, that look compelling and ironic.

Posted by: eman at October 12, 2013 11:00 AM (AO9UG)

131 Used to be. But didn't you get the memo: the mafia is singing like everyone else these days. The blood has gone thin Posted by: Nevergiveup at October 12, 2013 02:58 PM

The Roman Empire, they were great once. Like the Corleone family was great once.

Posted by: Frankie Pantangelis at October 12, 2013 11:00 AM (aTXUx)

132 Personally, I like some backround noise. Between lip smacking, and teeth on silverware, I would climb out of my skin.

Posted by: nip at October 12, 2013 11:00 AM (jI23+)

133 this was the policy at the cafeteria at Lake Dallas Elementary School ( fifth and sixth graders lunch period)

this is what They think we are

Posted by: Otto, who thinks Plato was Belgian at October 12, 2013 11:01 AM (omBWL)

134 Nevergiveup, so has the minestrone soup.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at October 12, 2013 11:01 AM (XrBCE)

135 Imagine the business.

"Hey dad (17 year old boy) can I go get a haircut?"
Dad: "You got one 3 days ago!"
Dad: (pauses) "get in the car"
Mom: "Where you boys off to?"
Dad: "Church"

Posted by: tangonine at October 12, 2013 11:02 AM (x3YFz)

136 location location location

Posted by: tangonine at October 12, 2013 02:58 PM (x3YFz)

Actually, Calgary is a pretty rockin' town. Some genuine cowboys, and a lot of well-paid oilpatch and financial district types, who aren't afraid to open their wallets.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at October 12, 2013 11:02 AM (8Fl6F)

137 Eat at Helen Kellers' ( newest hip restaurant in town )

Posted by: Otto, who thinks Plato was Belgian at October 12, 2013 11:03 AM (omBWL)

138 We never have repeat business.

Posted by: Sam & Ella's Deli at October 12, 2013 11:03 AM (z9HTb)

139 ...

Posted by: Dick (@DicksTrash) at October 12, 2013 11:03 AM (GrtrJ)

140 Dumb waiters? Nope.

They are all graduates of CUNY with Masters in gender studies and $100k in debt.

So not dumb, just stupid.

Posted by: Blanco Basura at October 12, 2013 11:03 AM (JawqV)

141 The restaurant is not advertising. They are relying on word of mouth...

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at October 12, 2013 11:03 AM (N/Sup)

142 Waiter, there's a sigh in my soup!

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at October 12, 2013 11:03 AM (5cBpo)

143

Throw darkness in with silence and it's my kind of restaurant.

Posted by: CAC at October 12, 2013 11:04 AM (ry3S3)

144 What is their fart policy?

Gawd...that was my first thought after reading the article, and it the first comment. I have truly found a home at this blog.

Posted by: Paladin at October 12, 2013 11:04 AM (QGbEp)

145 Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at October 12, 2013 03:00 PM (XrBCE) So, no dumb waiters just stupid ones?

Posted by: Polliwog the 'Ette, assault Hobbit at October 12, 2013 11:04 AM (Pexsc)

146 Blanco, yup.

Was waiting for someone to run with it.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at October 12, 2013 11:04 AM (XrBCE)

147 @139 Too slow

Posted by: pep@125 at October 12, 2013 11:05 AM (6TB1Z)

148 Bring me a bucket.

Posted by: Mr. Creosote at October 12, 2013 11:05 AM (5cBpo)

149 Too lazy to read the other comments, but can trough eating be far behind?

Posted by: Jane D'oh, Tea Partier Extraordinaire at October 12, 2013 11:05 AM (lVPtV)

150 *waves to Polliwogette*

Yep! How is the new house?

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at October 12, 2013 11:05 AM (XrBCE)

151 Hmpf, Blanco Basura beat me to the joke.

Posted by: Polliwog the 'Ette, assault Hobbit at October 12, 2013 11:05 AM (Pexsc)

152 Throw darkness in with silence and it's my kind of restaurant.

Posted by: CAC at October 12, 2013 03:04 PM (ry3S3)

Pro tip: Do not, under any circumstances, order the Moon Pie.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at October 12, 2013 11:05 AM (8Fl6F)

153 Home cooking, just like Mum used to make.

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at October 12, 2013 11:05 AM (N/Sup)

154 126 Spend outrageous amounts of money on small helpings of food and wonder why you are broke.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot Jr. at October 12, 2013 03:00 PM

Hipsters eat out all the time since it's kind of a bitch to carry a weeks worth of groceries home on your hipster bicycle and carry them up 6 flights of narrow stairs

A lot of them live off the weekly allowances sent by their well off parents direct deposited into their accounts. Any hipster area can be spotted by the unusually high number of ATM's along the streets

Posted by: kbdabear at October 12, 2013 11:06 AM (aTXUx)

155 Sounds like the kind of dinner obama invited to Netanyahu to, well minus the dinner

Posted by: Nevergiveup at October 12, 2013 11:07 AM (UbDLm)

156 Because when I think about good food, Buddhist monks are the first thing that comes to mind.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at October 12, 2013 11:07 AM (5cBpo)

157 Hmpf, Blanco Basura beat me to the joke.

Don't get used to it, I'm usually about as swift as a CUNY gender studies grad with $100k of debt.

Posted by: Blanco Basura at October 12, 2013 11:07 AM (JawqV)

158 It's nice. Gotta go since some neighbors invited us for pizza.

Posted by: Polliwog the 'Ette, assault Hobbit at October 12, 2013 11:07 AM (Pexsc)

159 I can imagine eating in stony silence is what dinner in the WH living quarters is like when Mooch hasn't had her requisite vacation after a month.

Posted by: Jane D'oh, Tea Partier Extraordinaire at October 12, 2013 11:07 AM (lVPtV)

160 Most brilliant ploy to prevent customer complaints ever.

Posted by: Lincolntf at October 12, 2013 11:07 AM (ZshNr)

161 Silence kind of cuts down on the ole complaints.

Posted by: nip at October 12, 2013 11:07 AM (jI23+)

162 Entering the peoples republic of IL. Yuk.

Posted by: the littl shyning man at October 12, 2013 11:07 AM (UgU6h)

163 Wasn't there a restaurant somewhere that served food in the dark?

Posted by: Mr. Moo Moo at October 12, 2013 11:07 AM (HDgX3)

164 Have a great time then Polliwogette. Glad you liking it.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at October 12, 2013 11:08 AM (XrBCE)

165 Mines more down homey.

Posted by: nip at October 12, 2013 11:08 AM (jI23+)

166 I heard the food wasn't all that good there, but you're not allowed to talk about it. The Health Department even issued a gag order.

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at October 12, 2013 11:08 AM (N/Sup)

167 Next up, hairy, naked male servers with body odor.

Posted by: Jane D'oh, Tea Partier Extraordinaire at October 12, 2013 11:09 AM (lVPtV)

168 Vomiting is right out.

Posted by: nip at October 12, 2013 11:09 AM (jI23+)

169 I think there's a future for my "Slaughter Your Own Steak" concept.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at October 12, 2013 11:10 AM (5cBpo)

170 What if all the customers order something crunchy all at the same time?

Posted by: eman at October 12, 2013 11:10 AM (AO9UG)

171 The all-dark restaurant was a plot on Monk, I think. Maybe Psych.

Posted by: Lincolntf at October 12, 2013 11:10 AM (ZshNr)

172 168 I heard the food wasn't all that good there, but you're not allowed to talk about it. The Health Department even issued a gag order.

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at October 12, 2013 03:08 PM (N/Sup)

*rimshot*

I take it you'll be here all week and we should try the veal?

Posted by: Jane D'oh, Tea Partier Extraordinaire at October 12, 2013 11:10 AM (lVPtV)

173 Doesn't get any more hipster than that. MY dining experience was very zen like.

Posted by: Red Shirt at October 12, 2013 11:10 AM (FIDMq)

174 Thread Compliance Pic

http://tinyurl.com/m6grchk

Posted by: kbdabear at October 12, 2013 11:11 AM (aTXUx)

175

Hey Seamus my MD said the same thing you did.

But if one of my fingernails grows a nose I'm reporting both of you

*Ban me for this and I'll come back twice as strong*

Posted by: DAve at October 12, 2013 11:11 AM (b7yum)

176 It's nice. Gotta go since some neighbors invited us for pizza.
No talking while you eat.

Posted by: fluffy at October 12, 2013 11:11 AM (z9HTb)

177 eman, that is when Charlton Heston breaks in and screams, "Those are not croutons! They are Krungtor the Invincible!"

Followed by loud heaving.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at October 12, 2013 11:11 AM (XrBCE)

178 Black-eyed peas: chick peas that got told to shut up.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at October 12, 2013 11:12 AM (8Fl6F)

179 Yeah when you try to complain about getting charged $8 for a small glass of water they just shush you

Posted by: DAve at October 12, 2013 11:12 AM (b7yum)

180 I like the idea. Better than having to listen to all the self-involved Hipster-twits that live there...

Posted by: Running Hobo at October 12, 2013 11:13 AM (l1oyw)

181 AoP, Ike Turner is the chef?

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at October 12, 2013 11:13 AM (XrBCE)

182 Perfect place for Morons to take a date

If she can't talk and the food isn't there yet, what else can she do with her mouth?

(Ducking from Moronette bottles .. )

Posted by: kbdabear at October 12, 2013 11:13 AM (aTXUx)

183 "Nauman says he was inspired to put on the occasional 'No Talking' affairs after spending time with Buddhist monks in India." Bullshit. No talking means faster meals means more turnaround on a Saturday night.

Posted by: Pious Agnostic at October 12, 2013 11:13 AM (5xqg/)

184 I'd like to change my dessert order. Make it a tira-marceau!

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at October 12, 2013 11:14 AM (N/Sup)

185 SpaceX just uploaded a video of their latest Grasshopper test on Oct. 7, to 744 meters (2441 feet): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ZDkItO-0a4&feature=em-uploademail The hexacopter drone zoomed in for a close-up. This is perhaps the best Grasshopper video yet, besides the new altitude record.

Posted by: rickl at October 12, 2013 11:14 AM (sdi6R)

186 179 Man, this place is quieter than Turner Field the second week in October. Posted by: Chipper Jones at October 12, 2013 03:11 PM

Or Soldier Field in January

Posted by: kbdabear at October 12, 2013 11:14 AM (aTXUx)

187 188 Oh shit waiting for the Hive to call for a banning

Posted by: DAve at October 12, 2013 11:16 AM (b7yum)

188 Anyone else find that mime picture oddly alluring? No? Just me then. (Slinks away)

Posted by: pep at October 12, 2013 11:16 AM (6TB1Z)

189 187-That took courage. I salute you.

Posted by: nip at October 12, 2013 11:16 AM (jI23+)

190 >>>To elevate the food over those around you is a rejection of the social compact, and is profoundly rude, elitist and self-involved.

Bullshit. If I want to open a restaurant that requires the patrons to eat in silence, it is not a rejection of the social compact. It is an alternative business model. If people like to eat in a restaurant with my overbearing rules, I will prosper. If they don't like it, they will take their business elsewhere, and I will close down as a miserable failure.

Posted by: Anon Y. Mous at October 12, 2013 11:16 AM (IN7k+)

191 179 and 189 I'm cool 'cuz I'm the first to call troll

Posted by: DAve at October 12, 2013 11:17 AM (b7yum)

192 193-I believe it can be both.

Posted by: nip at October 12, 2013 11:18 AM (jI23+)

193 I've been known to enjoy a slurping sound now and again

Posted by: DAve at October 12, 2013 11:18 AM (b7yum)

194 A good American restaurant , not fancy, but good, you can get a steak dinner, a couple drinks with dessert, salad, etc. for 40 bucks. If there was a place like that that also had a "quiet" policy, it would be the ideal spot to eat alone. Like a library with Sirloin tips and Sam Adams on tap.

Posted by: Lincolntf at October 12, 2013 11:18 AM (ZshNr)

195 I can't believe nobody is having the clam soup!

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at October 12, 2013 11:18 AM (N/Sup)

196 I used to live on the edge of the Silverlake - Los Feliz section of LA.

Atwater Village across the river was starting to suffer hipster encroachment when I left town 3 years ago

Has Atwater Village been completely taken over? I know that Silverlake was lost completely to hipster douchedom

Posted by: kbdabear at October 12, 2013 11:18 AM (aTXUx)

197 Eat in silence? Can't be much worse than going to a Bar Mitzvah or Wedding where the music is so loud I can't hear the person next to me or even hear myself chewing

Posted by: Nevergiveup at October 12, 2013 11:18 AM (UbDLm)

198 This place would never make it in France. From what I observed, the chief occupation of the frogs is having 3 hour long lunches and running their mouths. After lunch they go to work to rest up so they can do the same thing for the upcoming 3 hour dinner.

Posted by: Donna V. at October 12, 2013 11:19 AM (R3gO3)

199 AoP, Ike Turner is the chef?

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at October 12, 2013 03:13 PM (XrBCE)

Could be. Ike was kind of a jerk, but he wrote what may be the definitive song for the Moron lifestyle: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y46Ve7zbwlQ

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at October 12, 2013 11:19 AM (8Fl6F)

200 So if you belch loudly in satisfaction over the meal, do they throw you out?

Posted by: CAC at October 12, 2013 11:19 AM (ry3S3)

201 I opened a restaurant in NYC that required the patrons to engage in intelligent conversations but it closed in like 20 minutes

Posted by: DAve at October 12, 2013 11:19 AM (b7yum)

202 198 Even the clams have to keep their mouths shut

Posted by: DAve at October 12, 2013 11:20 AM (b7yum)

203 40 dollars for dinner in NYC seems cheap

Posted by: Paranoidgirlinseattle at October 12, 2013 11:21 AM (RZ8pf)

204 Man, this place is quieter than Turner Field the second week in October. Posted by: Chipper Jones at October 12, 2013 03:11 PM Or Soldier Field in January Posted by: kbdabear at October 12, 2013 03:14 PM (aTXUx) Or the University of Georgia's stadium right now.

Posted by: Vendette at October 12, 2013 11:21 AM (MpP9p)

205

I want a restaurant where you can ONLY speak in puns and double-entendres.

Posted by: CAC at October 12, 2013 11:21 AM (ry3S3)

206 I'd like to signal my compliments to the chef.

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at October 12, 2013 11:21 AM (N/Sup)

207 208 You could call it "Zingers" and only serve Hostess products

Posted by: DAve at October 12, 2013 11:22 AM (b7yum)

208 Or the University of Georgia's stadium right now.

Posted by: Vendette at October 12, 2013 03:21 PM (MpP9p)

hee!

Posted by: Jane D'oh, Tea Partier Extraordinaire at October 12, 2013 11:22 AM (lVPtV)

209 At CAC's eatery you can order Sagittarius Spaghetti in a stellar white sauce.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at October 12, 2013 11:23 AM (XrBCE)

210 For an extra $10, you can go in the back and work on an illuminated manuscript after your meal. And then flagellate yourself.

Posted by: Baron bon Mot at October 12, 2013 11:23 AM (h87jr)

211 CAC we must dine at Vince's on Holt in Ontario or Norm's on Indian Hill in Claremont. Hell I'll take Salsita's on Haven

Posted by: DAve at October 12, 2013 11:24 AM (b7yum)

212 Was it Mycroft Holmes' Club that had a total silence rule?

Posted by: Lincolntf at October 12, 2013 11:24 AM (ZshNr)

213 I'm trying to remember that bit in The Restaurant at the End of the Universe where the cow comes to the table and asks how you'd like your steak before he offs himself.

Posted by: Jane D'oh, Tea Partier Extraordinaire at October 12, 2013 11:24 AM (lVPtV)

214 The only Muzak track they will need: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fPo6v0KhBdw&feature=youtube_gdata_player

Posted by: Baron bon Mot at October 12, 2013 11:25 AM (h87jr)

215 214 No Seriously Tony's Beef Dips in Pomona. Fifty times better than Phillippe's in L.A.

Posted by: DAve at October 12, 2013 11:25 AM (b7yum)

216 Restaurant de Jesuit.

Can only discus complex ethical problems that to escape must commit at least one venal sin. And the menu is in Latin written in an illuminated manuscript style. The servers are dressed as Benedictine monks and they chant Gregorian hymns or your order.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at October 12, 2013 11:26 AM (XrBCE)

217 Any Hostess Orange Cupcake sightings out there? I have needs.

Posted by: nip at October 12, 2013 11:26 AM (jI23+)

218 A good American restaurant , not fancy, but good, you can get a steak dinner, a couple drinks with dessert, salad, etc. for 40 bucks. If there was a place like that that also had a "quiet" policy, it would be the ideal spot to eat alone. Like a library with Sirloin tips and Sam Adams on tap." Oh, yss, dinner in silence. Congratulations to you on your originality. (Bloody colonial)

Posted by: The best British gentlemen's clubs at October 12, 2013 11:27 AM (6TB1Z)

219 Hey CAC: http://tinyurl.com/m9q2t3t

Posted by: DAve at October 12, 2013 11:27 AM (b7yum)

220 Judging by the veggie and bean heavy menus of many hipster eateries, and the no talking policy ..

I'll bet that place sounds like the campfire scene from Blazing Saddles

Posted by: kbdabear at October 12, 2013 11:28 AM (aTXUx)

221 Anyone else find that mime picture oddly alluring?
I did. I'm speechless.

Posted by: fluffy at October 12, 2013 11:28 AM (z9HTb)

222 216 I'm trying to remember that bit in The Restaurant at the End of the Universe where the cow comes to the table and asks how you'd like your steak before he offs himself.

Posted by: Jane D'oh, Tea Partier Extraordinaire at October 12, 2013 03:24 PM (lVPtV)

I told my students, prior to the last exam: "Don't Panic. Bring a towel."

2 out of 60 laughed. Rest? Blank stares.

Posted by: tangonine at October 12, 2013 11:28 AM (x3YFz)

223 Somebody needs to write a blocker script for youtube ads.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at October 12, 2013 11:28 AM (8Fl6F)

224
This glorification of noise for its own sake also extends to SF nightclubs. There is one notorious place where the noise level _on the sidewalk outside_ is something like 130dB. That's well into permanent hearing damage territory if you stand there for any length of time. Goodness knows what it's like inside.

Posted by: torquewrench at October 12, 2013 02:45 PM (gqT4g)

I'm down with 130dB music in a club, as long as it's live, with real instruments, preferably face-melting metal.

130dB of techno dance music would make me seriously consider cutting some hipster's achilles tendon just to watch 'em flop around like a fish.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at October 12, 2013 11:29 AM (MBqvE)

225 Sounds like a great place to take that special someone you've always wanted to tell to "Shut the fuck up!"

Posted by: Fritz at October 12, 2013 11:30 AM (x2W/k)

226

224 Anyone else find that mime picture oddly alluring?

I did. I'm speechless.
Posted by: fluffy at October 12, 2013 03:28 PM (z9HTb)

***

Not me, I'm trying to think outside the box.

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at October 12, 2013 11:30 AM (N/Sup)

227 Was it Mycroft Holmes' Club that had a total silence rule?

There was a Fred Astair movie with a Silence! in the club rule. He did a noisy tap dance on the wood floor on the way out. Maybe as many as six 'old boys' died of heart attacks.

Posted by: The Shutdown at October 12, 2013 11:31 AM (Oz+LZ)

228
I told my students, prior to the last exam: "Don't Panic. Bring a towel."

2 out of 60 laughed. Rest? Blank stares.

Posted by: tangonine at October 12, 2013 03:28 PM (x3YFz)

That's sad. Son read the Hitchhiker books when he was a young teen and laughed his ass off. His Scout troop's motto was "Don't panic and always carry a towel."

Posted by: Jane D'oh, Tea Partier Extraordinaire at October 12, 2013 11:31 AM (lVPtV)

229 I actually think this place will be a hit. All the NYT journos will go there when they want to discuss balance in coverage.

Posted by: Baron bon Mot at October 12, 2013 11:33 AM (h87jr)

230 Special. Snowflake.

Posted by: dogfish at October 12, 2013 11:33 AM (nsOJa)

231 Actually, that restaurant would be the one place I wouldn't mind going with the lib NYC in-laws.

Posted by: Jane D'oh, Tea Partier Extraordinaire at October 12, 2013 11:34 AM (lVPtV)

232

232 After the speech portion of Obama's press conference they can all go there

*See what I did there???*

Posted by: DAve at October 12, 2013 11:34 AM (b7yum)

233 This is the reason that the news industry should be broken up and forced to move out of NYC. These idiots should not be allowed to decide what's important and need-to-know for the all of the rest of the country. They certainly shouldn't be telling anyone who to vote for. Also
OBAMA SUCKS! Oh crap is this the wrong thread for that? (Seeing bouncers headed my way) ok well I'm just going to run out the back door, see you later.

Posted by: SineWaveII at October 12, 2013 11:34 AM (/lvPo)

234 No Seriously Tony's Beef Dips in Pomona. Fifty times better than Phillippe's in L.A.

Posted by: DAve at October 12, 2013 03:25 PM (b7yum)

And $3 cheaper.

It puts the rest to shame.

Though Norms is the shit at 11 at night. Diner food that tastes good.

Shame Slaters 50/50 wasn't nearly as good as I was expecting. Bacon's too dry.

Posted by: CAC at October 12, 2013 11:35 AM (ry3S3)

235 "Good evening," it lowed and sat back heavily on its haunches. "I am the main DIsh of the Day. May I interest you in parts of my body?" It harrumphed and gurgled a bit, wriggled its hind quarters into a more comfortable position and gazed peacefully at them.
...
"Something off the shoulder perhaps?" suggested the animal. "Braised in a white wine sauce?"
...
"Or the rump is very good," murmured the animal. "I've been exercising it and eating plenty of grain, so there's a lot of good meat there." It gave a mellow grunt, gurgled again and started to chew cud. It swallowed the cud again.

That what you mean Jane D'oh?

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at October 12, 2013 11:35 AM (XrBCE)

236 Areas in Los Angeles known to be under hipster occupation or under siege ...

Silverlake, Echo Park, Elysian Park, Atwater Village, Glassell Park, Eagle Rock ..

Warning; If you see more than one Vietnamese Noodle Bar on a block, the sector is lost. Move on

Posted by: kbdabear at October 12, 2013 11:36 AM (aTXUx)

237 For anyone who wants to eat in silence, I'll send over my 3 sulky, sullen teenage daughters. Scowls, heavy sighs and rolling eyes are extra.

Posted by: Ajax at October 12, 2013 11:36 AM (6FGVd)

238

Wait does the SSSSHHH restaurant offer a "dumping one's soup o'er the maÃ®tre d's head if it sucks" policy?

Posted by: CAC at October 12, 2013 11:36 AM (ry3S3)

239 Areas in Los Angeles known to be under hipster occupation or under siege ...

Silverlake, Echo Park, Elysian Park, Atwater Village, Glassell Park, Eagle Rock ..

Warning; If you see more than one Vietnamese Noodle Bar on a block, the sector is lost. Move on

Posted by: kbdabear at October 12, 2013 03:36 PM (aTXUx)

I'll take hipsters over homeless and gangs, though. Several of those places have become much better, before anyone else noticed.

Posted by: CAC at October 12, 2013 11:38 AM (ry3S3)

240 237 CAC you're alright. Someday I'll tell you about Ammo Bros. Ontario and Glendora Mountain Road. And Donut Man.

Posted by: DAve at October 12, 2013 11:38 AM (b7yum)

241 Tony's Darts Away in Burbank has VEGAN French Dips

A moron went in there once and asked the bartender to turn the tv on to Fox News

I think the owner banned him and put a restraining order on him

Posted by: kbdabear at October 12, 2013 11:38 AM (aTXUx)

242 For anyone who wants to eat in silence, I'll send over my 3 sulky, sullen teenage daughters. Scowls, heavy sighs and rolling eyes are extra.

Punctuated by the odd "Why are you ruining my life?" shriekfest.

Posted by: pep at October 12, 2013 11:39 AM (6TB1Z)

243 Does the staff talk in the kitchen? Are the restrooms sound-proofed?

Posted by: BignJames at October 12, 2013 11:39 AM (HtUkt)

244 242 Gands of hipsters are the worst. I had to move because I couldn't take the brow-beatings

Posted by: DAve at October 12, 2013 11:39 AM (b7yum)

245 in the 212 zone, i'd pay extra to have everybody shut the hell up

Posted by: oyeah at October 12, 2013 11:40 AM (2YRL3)

246

247 GANGS of hipsters.

Goddammit I paid $3 for that joke

Posted by: DAve at October 12, 2013 11:40 AM (b7yum)

247

dumping one's soup o'er the maÃ®tre d's head

****

Gives new meaning to the term 'noodle soup'

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at October 12, 2013 11:40 AM (N/Sup)

248 Posted by: kbdabear at October 12, 2013 03:36 PM (aTXUx) I'll take hipsters over homeless and gangs, though. Several of those places have become much better, before anyone else noticed. Posted by: CAC at October 12, 2013 03:38 PM

That's true. You can walk around Atwater Village at night now, at least north of Glendale Blvd. You didn't dare do that ten years ago

Posted by: kbdabear at October 12, 2013 11:41 AM (aTXUx)

249 Gives new meaning to the term 'noodle soup'

If it hits multiple customers in the head, it's 3-bean soup.

Posted by: pep at October 12, 2013 11:41 AM (6TB1Z)

250

244 I raise one eyebrow over how you know about such a place.

In that area it's the roast beef at the Pantry or nothing

Posted by: DAve at October 12, 2013 11:41 AM (b7yum)

251 That's sad. Son read the Hitchhiker books when he was a young teen and laughed his ass off. His Scout troop's motto was "Don't panic and always carry a towel."

Posted by: Jane D'oh, Tea Partier Extraordinaire at October 12, 2013 03:31 PM (lVPtV)

It is. But I have 9 weeks left to bring them into the light. And then the gremlins that take my two follow on courses... Well. They're going to rock the world.

Good kids. Heart, motivation, wide-eyed and bushy tailed.

Posted by: tangonine at October 12, 2013 11:43 AM (x3YFz)

252 250 I usta teach in Glendale. The armos and the mexicans hated each other but I couldn't tell them apart by sight

Posted by: DAve at October 12, 2013 11:43 AM (b7yum)

253 ?chowderhead?

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at October 12, 2013 11:44 AM (N/Sup)

254
That what you mean Jane D'oh?

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at October 12, 2013 03:35 PM (XrBCE)

Yep. Thanks!

Posted by: Jane D'oh, Tea Partier Extraordinaire at October 12, 2013 11:44 AM (lVPtV)

255 I couldn't take the brow-beatings

The withering stare is the worst, IYKWIMAITYD.

Posted by: Retread at October 12, 2013 11:44 AM (Oz+LZ)

256 255 One of each killed within 100 yards of my classroom door in one year

Posted by: DAve at October 12, 2013 11:44 AM (b7yum)

257 How do they eat through the ball gags?

Posted by: Purp[/i][/b][/u][/s] at October 12, 2013 11:45 AM (l5zzX)

258 260 Ironically, the same way they make love

Posted by: DAve at October 12, 2013 11:46 AM (b7yum)

259

" You can walk around Atwater Village at night now, at least north of Glendale Blvd."

But I thought nobody walks in LA. That's what Missing Persons told us.

Posted by: Donna V. at October 12, 2013 11:46 AM (R3gO3)

260 259 255 One of each killed within 100 yards of my classroom door in one year

Posted by: DAve at October 12, 2013 03:44 PM (b7yum)

Did you carry? When my husband's SUV broke down in Myrtle Beach bringing the son home from Lejeune (which son called the "trifecta of suck"), the tow truck driver told us that his second job was overnight repos. He carries two guns.

Posted by: Jane D'oh, Tea Partier Extraordinaire at October 12, 2013 11:47 AM (lVPtV)

261 So someone dining at this restaurant wouldn't be able to talk about Clemson missing a FG just now, hypothetically?

Posted by: Lincolntf at October 12, 2013 11:47 AM (ZshNr)

262 I'm going out on a limb and guess the restaurant doesn't have Fox on "mute."

Posted by: Jane D'oh, Tea Partier Extraordinaire at October 12, 2013 11:50 AM (lVPtV)

263 So someone dining at this restaurant wouldn't be able to talk about Clemson missing a FG just now, hypothetically?
How does one mime that?

Posted by: fluffy at October 12, 2013 11:50 AM (z9HTb)

264 There is something oddly appealing about listening to the sound of a roomful of people breathing, sniffling, coughing, chewing, swallowing and farting. I just can't describe it. Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at October 12, 2013 02:35 PM (N/Sup) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R6dm9rN6oTs

Posted by: Sheriff Bart at October 12, 2013 11:50 AM (Vk2pI)

265 Lincolntf 264 If any of the patrons knew what a FG was, maybe so.

Posted by: Skookumchuk at October 12, 2013 11:50 AM (x4x3r)

266 I could run a No Talking restaurant

The waitresses would all be dressed in Naughty Sexy Librarian Outfits

Meet the Head Waitress

http://i.imgur.com/VK9ws.jpg

(Thread Compliant and SFW Pic)

Posted by: kbdabear at October 12, 2013 11:51 AM (aTXUx)

267 When they bring the bill, can't I at least grab my chest and say, "It's the big one, 'Lizabeth!"

Posted by: WalrusRex at October 12, 2013 11:51 AM (OdrQQ)

268 267 There is something oddly appealing about listening to the sound of a roomful of people breathing, sniffling, coughing, chewing, swallowing and farting. I just can't describe it.

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at October 12, 2013 02:35 PM (N/Sup)

You left out my favorite: nose-blowing. Gag.

Posted by: Jane D'oh, Tea Partier Extraordinaire at October 12, 2013 11:51 AM (lVPtV)

269 269

Link that DOES worky

http://tinyurl.com/m99j2bg

kbdabear's No Talking Eatery

Posted by: kbdabear at October 12, 2013 11:52 AM (aTXUx)

270 Meet the Head Waitress
Is moaning permitted?

Posted by: fluffy at October 12, 2013 11:53 AM (z9HTb)

271

264 So someone dining at this restaurant wouldn't be able to talk about Clemson missing a FG just now, hypothetically? Posted by: Lincolntf at October 12, 2013 03:47 PM (ZshNr)

I somehow doubt the metrosexual hipster douches who would go to this place follow football. They probably think Clemson is another variety of heirloom tomato.

Posted by: Donna V. at October 12, 2013 11:53 AM (R3gO3)

272 272 269

Link that DOES worky

http://tinyurl.com/m99j2bg

kbdabear's No Talking Eatery

Posted by: kbdabear at October 12, 2013 03:52 PM (aTXUx)

Resemble Nigella Lawson.

Posted by: Jane D'oh, Tea Partier Extraordinaire at October 12, 2013 11:53 AM (lVPtV)

273 I am tired of restaurants trying to force me to eat kale and red quinoa all the time. That is all.

Posted by: Keena at October 12, 2013 11:54 AM (HPNED)

274 "This is kind of sort of on topic, but can I rant for a second about Yelp reviews?"

Here's my sorta on/off topic rant: Yelp is completely fraudulent. They manipulate the reviews, leaving up bad reviews and taking down good ones from establishments who don't advertise with them. A friend of mine with a small business had personal experience with that.

Posted by: FOAF at October 12, 2013 11:54 AM (pkNvH)

275 But I thought nobody walks in LA. That's what Missing Persons toldus.

Posted by: Donna V. at October 12, 2013 03:46 PM (R3gO3)

They told you?

But what are words for?

Posted by: CAC at October 12, 2013 11:55 AM (ry3S3)

276 Love to say, 40 fucking dollars for this shit? Are you fucking nuts?

Posted by: Misanthropic humanitarian, now with 50% more sensitivity at October 12, 2013 11:55 AM (HVff2)

277 I understand. So it's equally unlikely that they'd discuss Clemson QB Tajh Boyd's two fumbles in the first quarter? What an odd restaurant.

Posted by: Lincolntf at October 12, 2013 11:55 AM (ZshNr)

278

DAve-

The basque breakfast at Taylor's in Chino

That hole-in-the wall/bar/truck scaling station with an interior not upgraded since 1974 has no equal.

Posted by: CAC at October 12, 2013 11:56 AM (ry3S3)

279 I don't mind kale if it's in a soup which has a lot of other things in it. How anybody can think those disgusting kale chips (which are not cheap either) taste good is beyond me.

Posted by: Donna V. at October 12, 2013 11:57 AM (R3gO3)

280 That Restaurant sounds like the perfect place to ask equipment salesmen to take me to.

Posted by: The Hickster at October 12, 2013 11:57 AM (okL9f)

281 Man, Greenpoint sure must have changed since I was there last. Which was about 17 years ago so I suppose it might have. It was far from 'trendy', mostly working class Polish people just off the boat (or the plane). There was a Polish diner on the corner of I think it was Bedford Ave and North 10th, or thereabout. They had some of the prettiest Polish waitresses and you could get good Polish grub like pierogis and bigos, and lots of it. I think when I left around 1997 there where some hipster doofus's moving into some of the lofts there, since it was just one stop on the subway from the East Village in Manhattan, and a lot cheaper. They would have never gotten away with serving that kind of fru-fru eats back in the day.

Posted by: TanarUr at October 12, 2013 12:01 PM (Ks7B3)

282 From the German translation Das Restaurant am Ende des Universums the first paragraphs. Just because.

"Guten Abend," muthe es setzte sich behÃ¤big auf seine Haxen, "ich bin ds Hauptgericht des Tages. DÃ¼rfte ich Ihnen ein paar Teile meines KÃ¶rpers schmackhaft machen?" Es rÃ¤usperte sich und gluckerte ein biSSchen, rÃ¼ttelte sein Hinterteil in eine bequemere Position und starrte sie friedlich an.

German is just not a funny language. Probably what is spoken by Vogons.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at October 12, 2013 12:02 PM (XrBCE)

283
http://tinyurl.com/m99j2bg

kbdabear's No Talking Eatery

Pardon me miss. I'd like the melon surprise.

Posted by: pep at October 12, 2013 12:02 PM (6TB1Z)

284 German is just not a funny language.
I chust flew in from Homborg, und my arms ahr ti-yed.

Posted by: fluffy the Teuton at October 12, 2013 12:05 PM (z9HTb)

285 First they came for the Jews but I was eating in a New York silence-enforced restaurant, so I said nothing...

Posted by: [/i]andycanuck[/b] at October 12, 2013 12:06 PM (i4xvM)

286 Two new threads. One, EBT cards are failing. Other JFK is a meth head.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at October 12, 2013 12:07 PM (XrBCE)

287 Does the fru-fru restaurant in Greenpoint take EBT?

Posted by: TanarUr at October 12, 2013 12:08 PM (Ks7B3)

288

@285 Anna-

***

Guten abend. Ich bin Hadji, der muslimisch Komiker. Tippen sie ihre Dienstfrauen. Ich werde hier alles Tages der Woche sein.

You're right. Things just don't seem as funny auf Deutsch.

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at October 12, 2013 12:09 PM (N/Sup)

289 Greenpoint and Williamsburg have been lost to Hipsters since the second term of Bloomberg

Bushwick is under hipster seige now, and the hipster blight is speading as the new invaders seek more affordable rents.

They're even into Sunset Park I've heard

But they'll NEVER take Bensonhurst!!

Posted by: kbdabear at October 12, 2013 12:09 PM (aTXUx)

290 "Anybody that would put up with this crap deserves to eat there."

There have been times when I've eaten alone and read a good book with my meal; and at times like that, I'd love a silence policy, so my reading would be disturbed by the two yentas at the next table yammering about their sex lives.

My feeling is, those who like quiet will eat there. Those who prefer talk will go somewhere else. Win-win!

Posted by: Brown Line at October 12, 2013 12:20 PM (JY9MM)

291 Finally, someone who's realized New Yorkers have nothing interesting to say...

Posted by: Richard McEnroe at October 12, 2013 12:22 PM (qvify)

292 Regarding new AoSHQ Policy, "If it ain't broke don't fix it" It is passing silly to try and change the commenting around here. It probably will not succeed and if it does it will be to the detriment of the blog. Nothing prevents anyone or anyones from having a subchain of comments within the thread which keeps discussing the thread article. I am not sure if it is possible for the blog editors to do so, because of schedules and jobs, but if someone is serious about keeping a thread on topic it would be a good idea for the thread poster to hang around and direct the thread. Not necessarily by chasing off-topic commenters away but by engaging in something of a dialogue with the people responding and or commenting on the article. Richard Fernandez's blog is wonderfully focused, sharp, articulate, on-topic, and its commenters follow the rules and are well mannered. AosHQ it is not and never will be, it also only gets a relative handful of comments; fewer in a day than the AoSHQ gets in an hour. Having two threads posted simultaneously is about as inelegant and unwieldy a plan as is imaginable.

Posted by: yankeefifth at October 12, 2013 12:38 PM (Z9EHQ)

293 The all-dark restaurant was a plot on Monk, I think. Maybe Psych. CSI.

Posted by: Fox2! at October 12, 2013 12:44 PM (XFTOV)

294 The all-dark restaurant was a plot on Monk, I think. Maybe Psych. CSI. Posted by: Fox2! at October 12, 2013 04:44 PM (XFTOV) the vast majority of restaurants in nyc suck. interestingly nyc is incapable of having a well run chain restaurant. any chain that succeeds in reheating and serving the chain food in a suburb is incapable of heating and slinging food in nyc. McDonalds, bk, chilis, fridays, whatever, never ever eat at 'em in nyc, ever.

Posted by: yankeefifth at October 12, 2013 12:51 PM (Z9EHQ)

295 The vast majority of restaurants in nyc suck.

Posted by: yankeefifth at October 12, 2013 04:51 PM (Z9EHQ)

After years of having to travel there on business and take local staff and clients out to the restaurants of their choice, I completely agree with this statement. The restaurants are grossly overpriced and mediocre, with bad service to make it the trifecta of failure. The only exception to this rule is the Second Avenue Deli (N.B. no longer located on Second Avenue, so I don't know if it's as good post-move).

In every category, there are better restaurants in San Francisco, Seattle, Chicago and Los Angeles, and San Diego, Phoenix and Vancouver have a few outstanding places each as well.

If you value your tastebuds and your wallet, avoid NYC at all costs.

Posted by: HTL at October 12, 2013 01:51 PM (nWypX)

296 Let 'em do what they want. They'll find enough suckers to keep themselves in business, or they'll go under. Personally, I'll pass. Matter of fact, I'll take a rain check on the whole NYC experience.

Posted by: Blacque Jacques Shellacque at October 12, 2013 02:28 PM (/IXKu)

297 Not that I would go, but I don't think this is a problem at all for younger generations, unless they don't allow the annoying buzz of a vibrating phone receiving a text message.

Posted by: Leland at October 12, 2013 03:42 PM (3R7WS)

298 I don't know. I have to eat all my meals next to two toddlers, so a silent dinner sounds pretty good to me!

Posted by: Silence Please! at October 12, 2013 07:11 PM (AdFt+)

299 I'm going out on a limb and guess the restaurant doesn't have Fox on "mute."

Well, they did for a while, until someone was staring at it and broke the Silence! rule, and asked "What does the Fox say?"

Posted by: VekTor at October 12, 2013 08:16 PM (cF7T6)

300 You're right. Things just don't seem as funny auf Deutsch. Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at October 12, 2013 04:09 PM (N/Sup) A. Hitler: Mein hund no schnozz haben. Crowd: So, how does he smell? A. Hitler: Terriblen!!

Posted by: Bill H at October 12, 2013 10:00 PM (3sZO1)

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