Ace of Spades HQ

July 29, 2013

Russian Thief Gets Ass Kicked
— Ace

Well, more his groin and face.

Is this real? Ehhh... I'm always suspicious of things So F'n' Awesome.

For now, it's real. Enjoy, via maddogg.

Posted by: Ace at 07:24 AM | Comments (160)
Post contains 35 words, total size 1 kb.

Awww, wish I could watch.

*pouts, kicks things*

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit [/s][/b][/u][/i] at July 29, 2013 07:27 AM (4df7R)

2 That's gonna leave a mark...

Posted by: hello, it's me also a creep-assed cracka.. at July 29, 2013 07:27 AM (9+ccr)

3 No one's helping that poor man!

Posted by: EC at July 29, 2013 07:28 AM (GQ8sn)

4 Fake

Posted by: Tilikum the Killer Assault Whale at July 29, 2013 07:28 AM (uhftQ)

5 I'm going with fake, but inaccurate.

Posted by: Burn the Witch at July 29, 2013 07:29 AM (p+XhY)

Wait ... was that man BLACK! OUTRAGE!

Posted by: direwolf at July 29, 2013 07:29 AM (ABUAo)

7 Staged. I should know.

Posted by: Harry Houdini at July 29, 2013 07:29 AM (r6wtL)

8 someone call?

Posted by: amber lamps at July 29, 2013 07:29 AM (gmQC3)

9 GOP, take notes.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit at July 29, 2013 07:30 AM (0HooB)

10 It's what should have happened to Jack Lew.

Posted by: t-bird at July 29, 2013 07:30 AM (FcR7P)

11 Well, here in Chicago, shit happens to citizens, they die, and its just OK with me. http://bit.ly/13poNg5

Posted by: Rajm Emmanuel at July 29, 2013 07:31 AM (ZuiHO)

12 I don't care if it's fake, it's still awesome. BC, I see your Salma Hayek Snake Dance and raise you Dita + Wonderbra. http://youtu.be/SWq7NRB2X9Q (actually pretty SFW) The first comment to that is great.

Posted by: alexthechick - Here SMOD SMOD SMOD at July 29, 2013 07:32 AM (VtjlW)

13 Looked staged to me but who knows.

Posted by: steevy at July 29, 2013 07:32 AM (9XBK2)

14 If this happened to Barry would it have brought him to his knees?

Posted by: Buzzsaw at July 29, 2013 07:33 AM (wrS2o)

15 GOP, take notes. That man is a natural conservative!

Posted by: GOP 2016! at July 29, 2013 07:33 AM (FcR7P)

16 Awww, wish I could watch. *pouts, kicks things* Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit at July 29, 2013 11:27 AM (4df7R) Awwww. *pushes Nearsider in front of you*

Posted by: alexthechick - Here SMOD SMOD SMOD at July 29, 2013 07:33 AM (VtjlW)

17 If this happened to Barry would it have brought him to his knees? Her foot would have gotten stuck.

Posted by: t-bird at July 29, 2013 07:34 AM (FcR7P)

18 Like an episode of "Ow,my balls!".

Posted by: steevy at July 29, 2013 07:34 AM (9XBK2)

Awwww.

*pushes Nearsider in front of you*

Posted by: alexthechick - Here SMOD SMOD SMOD at July 29, 2013 11:33 AM (VtjlW)

Ack! *careful not to kick Nearsider!*

I haven't seen willow yet, my queen, so allow me to...

*tea*

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit [/s][/b][/u][/i] at July 29, 2013 07:34 AM (4df7R)

20 Of course you guys are over here, while I am on the last thread.

Fake....
unless "CAMERA 3" is spelled "CAMERA 3" in Cyrillic.

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at July 29, 2013 07:35 AM (NyTSp)

21 Fake, but she' s got good moves....

Posted by: hello, it's me also a creep-assed cracka.. at July 29, 2013 07:36 AM (9+ccr)

22 Shouldn't she be charged with something?

Posted by: Concerned Citizens at July 29, 2013 07:36 AM (ELdpj)

23 Thank you, MWR. *sips all ladylike*

Posted by: alexthechick - Here SMOD SMOD SMOD at July 29, 2013 07:37 AM (VtjlW)

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at July 29, 2013 11:35 AM (NyTSp)

Or it's a US programmed system that was never translated.

Not entirely unlikely.

Posted by: tsrblke at July 29, 2013 07:37 AM (GaqMa)

25 unless "CAMERA 3" is spelled "CAMERA 3" in Cyrillic.

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at July 29, 2013 11:35 AM (NyTSp)

You can't necessarily go by that, just because so many countries will use English spelling and words on things.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit [/s][/b][/u][/i] at July 29, 2013 07:37 AM (4df7R)

26 Hmph. The legend is in Roman script, not Cyrillic. I'm rating this Too Good to Be True But Still Pretty Awesome (TM).

Posted by: joncelli at July 29, 2013 07:37 AM (RD7QR)

27 All the awesome videos are fake,like the Eagle trying to pick up the kid.

Posted by: steevy at July 29, 2013 07:38 AM (9XBK2)

28 Why would anyone fake something like that?

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit at July 29, 2013 07:38 AM (0HooB)

29 Ever see Girl With The Dragon Tattoo?

Posted by: EC at July 29, 2013 07:38 AM (GQ8sn)

30 if the old woman peeking around the corner gave the thief one for the road I would definitely say fake....I dunno....probably fake?

Posted by: Kawfytawk at July 29, 2013 07:39 AM (qdzWt)

31
Not real, but I'd hit it.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at July 29, 2013 07:39 AM (4+FWp)

32 I almost curled up into the fetal position just watching that.

Posted by: Muad'dib - Back in WI at July 29, 2013 07:39 AM (KjlbF)

33 Fake.... unless "CAMERA 3" is spelled "CAMERA 3" in Cyrillic. Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at July 29, 2013 11:35 AM (NyTSp) Hater. So last night a friend of mine was texting me about whatever and I replied they be hatin'. She then informed me that she heard that in my voice and fell off the couch. Those who have met me will get why that's so funny.

Posted by: alexthechick - Here SMOD SMOD SMOD at July 29, 2013 07:40 AM (VtjlW)

Ever see Girl With The Dragon Tattoo?

No, but I think we have the book around here somewhere.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit at July 29, 2013 07:40 AM (0HooB)

BC, I see your Salma Hayek Snake Dance and raise you Dita + Wonderbra.

**bows down and grovels at AtC's feet**

Your malevolence is exceeded only by Your Generosity, Imperial One.

Does anybody know how I could rip that music off YouTube and put it on my ipod?

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at July 29, 2013 07:40 AM (zF6Iw)

36 Fake, look what he does right after he grabs the phone. He doesn't run. He just walks and looks down at the phone. Someone stealing something like that would have just grabbed and run before she could have reacted.

Posted by: Chris at July 29, 2013 07:40 AM (aBOfW)

37 Awesome.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at July 29, 2013 07:40 AM (lVPtV)

38 Now, if only we could give a collective version to all the tax and spend idjits in Washington...

Posted by: The Political Hat at July 29, 2013 07:41 AM (Vk2pI)

39 fake ... fake ... fake, fake, fake

Posted by: Elaine Benes at July 29, 2013 07:41 AM (uYaYO)

40 Awesomest...... Riding the NSFW line.... http://youtu.be/kP7un1DUOnU Posted by: BCochran1981 at July 29, 2013 11:39 AM (da5Wo) You know what's funny, I nearly put in that AP stuff is out of bounds during daywalking time.

Posted by: alexthechick - Here SMOD SMOD SMOD at July 29, 2013 07:41 AM (VtjlW)

41 Why would anyone fake something like that? Why would "In the way guy" obviously cross in front of a photo being taken? Faked?

Posted by: rickb223 at July 29, 2013 07:42 AM (bpzkI)

42 Right about the 8 second mark, after the shot in the nuts, does she ear slap him as well?
Before the kick to the head.

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at July 29, 2013 07:42 AM (NyTSp)

43 Ever see Girl With The Dragon Tattoo? No, but I think we have the book around here somewhere. Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit at July 29, 2013 11:40 AM (0HooB) There's a scene where some douche tries to snatch her laptop just like this guy snatching the phone. She fights back just like this girl.

Posted by: EC at July 29, 2013 07:42 AM (GQ8sn)

44 So last night a friend of mine was texting me about whatever and I replied they be hatin'. She then informed me that she heard that in my voice and fell off the couch. Those who have met me will get why that's so funny. Posted by: alexthechick - Here SMOD SMOD SMOD at July 29, 2013 11:40 AM (VtjlW) MWR said something last night (I don't remember what) that caused me to respond "How very white of you". You have exceeded her Empress.

Posted by: BCochran1981 at July 29, 2013 07:43 AM (da5Wo)

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at July 29, 2013 11:40 AM (zF6Iw)

Get Audacity (it's free on sourceforge)

Set the input to "Direct Input" (or something there should be a choice that sucks down exactly what your speakers are playing.)

Revel.

Posted by: tsrblke at July 29, 2013 07:43 AM (GaqMa)

46 You know what's funny, I nearly put in that AP stuff is out of bounds during daywalking time. Posted by: alexthechick - Here SMOD SMOD SMOD at July 29, 2013 11:41 AM (VtjlW) AP should never, ever be out of bounds. I don't want to live in that world. PS - Can you imagine how fun this would be on an ONT? *snickering*

Posted by: BCochran1981 at July 29, 2013 07:44 AM (da5Wo)

47 Apparently the Street Fighter II Tournament is in town and Chun Li was out getting her hair done.

Posted by: Wonkish Rogue utilizing blunt weapons against chain mail to maximum effect at July 29, 2013 07:45 AM (JRU+g)

48
An infinite number of mathematicians go into a bar. The first mathematician orders half a beer. The second orders 1/4 of a beer. The third orders 1/8 of a beer. The fourth orders 1/16 of a beer. The bartender interrupts: "know your limits, fellas" and pours a single beer.

Posted by: dan-O at July 29, 2013 07:46 AM (D0bIN)

MWR said something last night (I don't remember what) that caused me to respond "How very white of you".

You have exceeded her Empress.

Posted by: BCochran1981 at July 29, 2013 11:43 AM (da5Wo)

I asked how everyone was doing all up in this hizzy. *nod* And yes, my whiteness is still blinding.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit [/s][/b][/u][/i] at July 29, 2013 07:47 AM (4df7R)

50 It's kinda hard to tell but if you look at :09 and :10 seconds, it doesn't *look* like her foot even connects with his crotch. But that could just be crappy video.....

Posted by: Tami[/i][/b][/u][/s] at July 29, 2013 07:47 AM (X6akg)

There's a scene where some douche tries to snatch her laptop just like this guy snatching the phone. She fights back just like this girl.

Excellent. That may be my next reading assignment. It's still summer.

And BCochran, thanx for that most bunkable video.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit at July 29, 2013 07:47 AM (0HooB)

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit at July 29, 2013 11:47 AM (4df7R)

Has anyone ever confused you for an Albino?

If not, I think I have you beat. (I used to have remarkably white blond hair before I got older, and I have a mixture of green and blue eyes that spend most of their time a sort of grey, especially if I'm wearing black. While I know an albino has red eyes, many people don't.)

Posted by: tsrblke at July 29, 2013 07:48 AM (GaqMa)

53 Actually that was a cell phone thief from Peruvia that got his ass kicked.

Posted by: polynikes at July 29, 2013 07:48 AM (m2CN7)

54 An infinite number of mathematicians go into a bar. The first mathematician orders half a beer. The second orders 1/4 of a beer. The third orders 1/8 of a beer. The fourth orders 1/16 of a beer. The bartender interrupts: "know your limits, fellas" and pours a single beer. Posted by: dan-O at July 29, 2013 11:46 AM (D0bIN) It would never be a single beer though, would it? All of the mathematicians' orders put together approaches 1 but never reaches it.

Posted by: EC at July 29, 2013 07:48 AM (GQ8sn)

Excellent. That may be my next reading assignment. It's still summer.

I TRIED reading "Girl with a Dragon Tattoo" and just couldn't do it. It's just not very well-written, IMO. The subject matter is salacious and gritty, which is enough for plenty of people, but I prefer my salaciious and gritty subject matter to be written with a little more panache.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit [/s][/b][/u][/i] at July 29, 2013 07:49 AM (4df7R)

56 Who's the loudmouth calling this fake?

Posted by: Buzz Aldrin at July 29, 2013 07:50 AM (UzPAd)

57 Has anyone ever confused you for an Albino?
If not, I think I have you beat. (I used to have remarkably white blond hair before I got older, and I have a mixture of green and blue eyes that spend most of their time a sort of grey, especially if I'm wearing black. While I know an albino has red eyes, many people don't.)

Posted by: tsrblke at July 29, 2013 11:48 AM (GaqMa)

HAH! Albino, no. But then I've got the gingery hair, so people who see me in full sunlight tend to mistake me for a floating hairpiece held aloft on a glowing pillar.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit [/s][/b][/u][/i] at July 29, 2013 07:50 AM (4df7R)

58 It's like big fake boobehs. Even though you know it's not real, you can't help staring.

Posted by: Roy at July 29, 2013 07:51 AM (VndSC)

59 Has anyone ever confused you for an Albino? If not, I think I have you beat. (I used to have remarkably white blond hair before I got older, and I have a mixture of green and blue eyes that spend most of their time a sort of grey, especially if I'm wearing black. While I know an albino has red eyes, many people don't.) Posted by: tsrblke at July 29, 2013 11:48 AM (GaqMa) White skin. Blue eyes. Sandy blonde/brown/reddish hair. Red facial hair. Thousands upon thousands of freckles. My sis rented a water slide for her son's bday. Of course I'm going down it. I'm about to go, neighbor kid is next in line at the top. Looks at me and in a voice of utter and complete awe.... "Wow. I've never seen anyone with more freckles than me!"

Posted by: BCochran1981 at July 29, 2013 07:51 AM (da5Wo)

60 I TRIED reading "Girl with a Dragon Tattoo" and just couldn't do it. It's just not very well-written, IMO. The subject matter is salacious and gritty, which is enough for plenty of people, but I prefer my salaciious and gritty subject matter to be written with a little more panache. Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit at July 29, 2013 11:49 AM (4df7R) THIS

Posted by: BCochran1981 at July 29, 2013 07:52 AM (da5Wo)

61 These Russian stand-your-ground laws are raaaaaaacis'.

Posted by: zsasz at July 29, 2013 07:53 AM (MMC8r)

62 These Russian stand-your-ground laws are raaaaaaacis'.

Posted by: zsasz

Due to vodka, Russia doesn't call them "stand your ground" as much as "plant your face".

Posted by: Roy at July 29, 2013 07:54 AM (VndSC)

63 It very well may be fake, but it's fairly well done if so. The physical reactions to the blows are accurate. The flinch/hop of the guy when she kicks him. Her falling back and off balance after she kicks him in the face.

Posted by: BCochran1981 at July 29, 2013 07:54 AM (da5Wo)

64 It's a Peruvian courtship ritual.

Posted by: rickl at July 29, 2013 07:55 AM (zoehZ)

PS - Can you imagine how fun this would be on an ONT?

*snickering*

Posted by: BCochran1981 at July 29, 2013 11:44 AM (da5Wo)

Speaking of ONT-worthy, I carry over my comment from the last thread:

Given what I know about the treatment of hysteria in Victorian times, why, yes, yes, I am.

Posted by: alexthechick - Here SMOD SMOD SMOD at July 29, 2013 11:28 AM (VtjlW)

You realize, of course, Imperial One, that the treatment was not self-administered?

I volunteer as tribute.

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at July 29, 2013 07:55 AM (zF6Iw)

MWR, is the movie better? I've never seen that either.

I recall another Moron saying that there was also a Swedish version made years ago that was good.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit at July 29, 2013 07:55 AM (0HooB)

67 Looks really fake. What chick does a spinning back kick? What dude does? Actual trained martial artists don't have the presence of mind to do a spinning back kick in a sudden attack street fight.

Posted by: Flatbush Joe at July 29, 2013 07:56 AM (ZPrif)

68 It's a Peruvian courtship ritual.

Posted by: rickl at July 29, 2013 11:55 AM (zoehZ)

It's a marriage proposal; really quite touching. The male steals an item from the female. The female then proceeds to pound the man's nads like a speed bag. Then they get married.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit [/s][/b][/u][/i] at July 29, 2013 07:56 AM (4df7R)

69 MWR, is the movie better? I've never seen that either. I recall another Moron saying that there was also a Swedish version made years ago that was good. Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit at July 29, 2013 11:55 AM (0HooB) The Swedish one pulls no punches when it comes to graphic content. I haven't seen the remake with James Bond so I can't compare how the two are.

Posted by: EC at July 29, 2013 07:56 AM (GQ8sn)

70 That shit's as fake as the moon landings.

Posted by: zsasz at July 29, 2013 07:56 AM (MMC8r)

71 Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit at July 29, 2013 11:49 AM (4df7R)

It's a solid story, but I agree that it is not well written. Of course it was translated into English, so that might be partly responsible for its tediousness.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at July 29, 2013 07:57 AM (gqgiP)

72 I recall another Moron saying that there was also a Swedish version made years ago that was good. aka 'The original version.' Like the book. (Which I could not abide.)

Posted by: Brother Cavil, proud OCP stockholder at July 29, 2013 07:58 AM (zUi7I)

73 A kick like that could melt steel. Assuming steel melts, which it doesn't of course. Probably real then.

Posted by: Roy at July 29, 2013 07:58 AM (VndSC)

74 MWR, is the movie better? I've never seen that either.

I recall another Moron saying that there was also a Swedish version made years ago that was good.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit at July 29, 2013 11:55 AM (0HooB)

I've honestly never seen either of the film versions. The book itself is originally Swedish, and I've heard in general that the Swedish film is a better adaptation of the source material, meaning really, REALLY grim and dark.

You should give it a try and see if it grabs your interest, ne? It wasn't popular for no reason at all, after all. Just from my personal standpoint it didn't live up to the hype.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit [/s][/b][/u][/i] at July 29, 2013 07:59 AM (4df7R)

75 The Swedish one pulls no punches when it comes to graphic content. Posted by: EC at July 29, 2013 11:56 AM (GQ8sn) You ain't kidding.

Posted by: BCochran1981 at July 29, 2013 07:59 AM (da5Wo)

76 This actually looks like the mating ritual in Peruvia.

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at July 29, 2013 07:59 AM (V1ZIU)

77 It's a marriage proposal; really quite touching. The male steals an item from the female. The female then proceeds to pound the man's nads like a speed bag. Then they get married. And he never needs them again.

Posted by: rickb223 at July 29, 2013 07:59 AM (bpzkI)

78 Got kicked so hard, a Kenyan birth certificate flew out. Definitely real.

Posted by: Roy at July 29, 2013 08:00 AM (VndSC)

79 Maybe it was an ex-boyfriend being a dick, and looking for her new boyfriend in the texts on her phone. That would explain why he didn't run and turned back when she grabbed him.

Makes the result more satisfying, too.

Posted by: grognard at July 29, 2013 08:00 AM (/29Nl)

80 Got kicked so hard, a Kenyan birth certificate flew out. Definitely real. Posted by: Roy at July 29, 2013 12:00 PM (VndSC) Cant. Breathe.

Posted by: EC at July 29, 2013 08:01 AM (GQ8sn)

Hmm, sounds like it may not be worth it to read. Horde disapproved, as it were.

But again, I used to only read for information, so I'll read just about anything these days.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit at July 29, 2013 08:01 AM (0HooB)

82 but I prefer my salaciious and gritty subject matter to be written with a little more panache.

HEY! I'd died befÃ¸re I had a chance to clean it up! Gif me a break already, vÃ¸uldya?

Posted by: Stieg Larsson, whose sister was once bitten by a Møøser bit by a at July 29, 2013 08:02 AM (WCe8r)

83 And he never needs them again.

Posted by: rickb223 at July 29, 2013 11:59 AM (bpzkI)

All Peruvian children are actually trucked in from orphanages in the former Eastern bloc countries. Peruvian courtship makes it impossible for them to breed, Thank GOD.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit [/s][/b][/u][/i] at July 29, 2013 08:02 AM (4df7R)

84 Here's a horribly real street fight involving actual trained MMA fighters in Brazil. MMA guy gets chippy with a random chick at a late night convenience store. Her boyfriend -- and all his friends -- did not like that. Happened a few weeks ago. MMA guy is still in a coma according to news reports. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hUHPZlfabfc

Posted by: Separate but Stupid at July 29, 2013 08:02 AM (ZPrif)

85 The Swedish one pulls no punches when it comes to graphic content. Posted by: EC at July 29, 2013 11:56 AM (GQ8sn) You ain't kidding. Posted by: BCochran1981 at July 29, 2013 11:59 AM (da5Wo) She gets him back good though. Have you seen the other two movies? They're kinda separate stories but she gets back at someone else equally as good. I would not want to cross her in real life.

Posted by: EC at July 29, 2013 08:02 AM (GQ8sn)

The female then proceeds to pound the man's nads like a speed bag.

I thought that came after marrage?

Posted by: Narciso Evil at July 29, 2013 08:03 AM (kPeSM)

87 HEY! I'd died befÃ¸re I had a chance to clean it up! Gif me a break already, vÃ¸uldya?

Posted by: Stieg Larsson, whose sister was once bitten by a MÃ¸Ã¸ser bit by a at July 29, 2013 12:02 PM (WCe8r)

Dude, you had issues. Like, ISSUES. Just sayin'.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit [/s][/b][/u][/i] at July 29, 2013 08:03 AM (4df7R)

88 Mynd you, mÃ¸Ã¸se bites Kan be pretty nasti...

Posted by: Stieg Larsson, whose sister was once bitten by a Møøse at July 29, 2013 08:03 AM (WCe8r)

89 In the next video, the dude gets smashed over the head with an old Texas Air National Guard typewriter. Totes real.

Posted by: Roy at July 29, 2013 08:04 AM (VndSC)

90 Jack Lew is dirtbag liberal fascist. I don't mind as much when Democrat politicians are lying maggots. The Treasury Secretary is supposed to be above lying on national TV for partisan gain. Fucking traitor.

Posted by: Flatbush Joe at July 29, 2013 08:04 AM (ZPrif)

91 It was quite Nasti.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit at July 29, 2013 08:04 AM (0HooB)

92 Mynd you, mÃ¸Ã¸se bites Kan be pretty nasti...

Posted by: Stieg Larsson, whose sister was once bitten by a MÃ¸Ã¸se at July 29, 2013 12:03 PM (WCe8r)

You've been sacked.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit [/s][/b][/u][/i] at July 29, 2013 08:04 AM (4df7R)

93 29 Ever see Girl With The Dragon Tattoo? Posted by: EC at July 29, 2013 11:38 AM (GQ8sn) Saw one with an anchor tatoo.

Posted by: BignJames at July 29, 2013 08:04 AM (20Mmk)

94 Posted by: BCochran1981 at July 29, 2013 11:44 AM (da5Wo)

I love Agent Provocateur lingerie too!

Posted by: Moochelle O at July 29, 2013 08:04 AM (ztKLQ)

95 The producers wish to apologize for the credits and wish you to know that those responsible have been sacked.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit at July 29, 2013 08:05 AM (0HooB)

96 I i like the way people just blithely walk by the guy as he's squirming in pain on the ground, as though this were a common sight in Russia

Posted by: Jones in CO at July 29, 2013 08:06 AM (8sCoq)

97 Actual trained martial artists don't have the presence of mind to do a spinning back kick in a sudden attack street fight.

Posted by: Flatbush Joe at July 29, 2013 11:56 AM (ZPrif)

But the spinning back fist is used quite often.

Posted by: polynikes at July 29, 2013 08:06 AM (m2CN7)

98 I i like the way people just blithely walk by the guy as he's squirming in pain on the ground, as though this were a common sight in Russia

Posted by: Jones in CO at July 29, 2013 12:06 PM (8sCoq)

They assume he's drunk and passed out. Probably after the morning rush hour, so a pretty valid guess.

Posted by: Vashta Nerada at July 29, 2013 08:07 AM (wzlt7)

99 ****looks around**** Did someone diss the Salma Hayek snake dance? Who signed their death warrant?

Posted by: Navycopjoe bids aloha to Flossie at July 29, 2013 08:07 AM (/y16L)

100 @55 EC: Which is why "one" is the limit.

Posted by: Tex Lovera at July 29, 2013 08:07 AM (wtvvX)

101 Here's a horribly real street fight involving actual trained MMA fighters in Brazil. MMA guy gets chippy with a random chick at a late night convenience store. Her boyfriend -- and all his friends -- did not like that. Happened a few weeks ago. MMA guy is still in a coma according to news reports. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hUHPZlfabfc Posted by: Separate but Stupid at July 29, 2013 12:02 PM (ZPrif) Hmmm...I wouldn't say this was a true fight between MMA people. The one guy use a bat or a 2x4 to lay into him, and then his buddies take turns on his head while he's out cold. But yeah, it's brutal.

Posted by: EC at July 29, 2013 08:08 AM (GQ8sn)

102 "I i like the way people just blithely walk by the guy as he's squirming in pain on the ground, as though this were a common sight in Russia"

Hell...anymore it's a common sight in Baltimore.
And people just walk right past, over, around, etc.

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at July 29, 2013 08:08 AM (NyTSp)

103 He needs the phone to keep his telemarketing job. Without it he'll not be able to feed his wife Maria and his two children.

Posted by: Mr. Feverhead at July 29, 2013 08:08 AM (SzAZ7)

104 Please, someone do some CGI magic and put Obama in that clip....

Posted by: Tex Lovera at July 29, 2013 08:08 AM (wtvvX)

105 Dude, you had issues. Like, ISSUES. Just sayin'.

I lived in Sweden. YÃ¸Ã¸ ever spend time in Sweden in the winter?
The lÃ¸veli lakes are frÃ¸zen like 10 mÃ¸nths a yir

Posted by: Stieg Larsson, whose sister was once bitten by a Møøse at July 29, 2013 08:08 AM (WCe8r)

106 you know, this might be a sneak peek from the upcoming Hillary miniseries...

Posted by: Jones in CO at July 29, 2013 08:09 AM (8sCoq)

107 I remember when I first saw the Salma Hayek snake dance.

I still have an erection...

Posted by: Tex Lovera at July 29, 2013 08:10 AM (wtvvX)

108 This answers who wins in a fight between a shark and a Polar bear.

http://tinyurl.com/kgkuaua

The shark being a Eco Lawyer that is.

Posted by: Buzzsaw at July 29, 2013 08:10 AM (wrS2o)

109

>>> Did someone diss the Salma Hayek snake dance?

I prefer her work in Dogma. That schoolgirl outfit just kills.

Posted by: garrett at July 29, 2013 08:11 AM (WSC6V)

110 She was pissed because she just got a text from Carlos Danger.

Posted by: Mr. Feverhead at July 29, 2013 08:11 AM (SzAZ7)

111 The only thing that does not seem real to me is when the dude gets kicked in the nads, he drops to his knees. That doesn't seem like the natural reaction to me. I would double over at the waist, then to get a blow to the back of the neck, likely.

Posted by: navybrat at July 29, 2013 08:13 AM (21vy/)

112 Right, that was the point. On one side were two professional MMA fighters in Brazil. Guy was in Bellator, one step below the UFC. On the other side were a bunch of crazy dudes with 2x4's. Crazy dudes with 2x4's won. And didn't stop after they won.

Posted by: Separate but Stupid at July 29, 2013 08:13 AM (ZPrif)

113

I prefer her work in Dogma. That schoolgirl outfit just kills.

FIFY

Posted by: Narciso Evil at July 29, 2013 08:13 AM (kl3xJ)

114 I prefer her work in Dogma. That schoolgirl outfit just kills. Posted by: garrett at July 29, 2013 12:11 PM (WSC6V) http://youtu.be/EhOFiLYbafY

Posted by: BCochran1981 at July 29, 2013 08:13 AM (da5Wo)

115 108. Dusk till Dawn was the reason I needed to find a wife that looked like the awesome Salma

Posted by: Navycopjoe bids aloha to Flossie at July 29, 2013 08:14 AM (/y16L)

116 I lived in Sweden. YÃ¸Ã¸ ever spend time in Sweden in the winter?>>

Their solving that problem in Norway with giant mirrors. The graphic shown looks like a kid frying ants with a magnifying glass to me.

http://tinyurl.com/mxtal5h

Posted by: Buzzsaw at July 29, 2013 08:15 AM (wrS2o)

117 Speaking of Scandi shows, I watched the first episode of the original Swedish Wallander over the weekend. It's about a series of murders and bombings that appear to be the work of Islamic terrorists but are actually the work of a pissed off soldier.

Number of movies involving Muslims falsely accused of terrorism: Gazillion.

Number of times Islam has actually been falsely accused of terror attacks: Zip, zero, nada.

Number of times MBM tries desperately to find that terrorist was not Muslim: Gazillion.

Posted by: WalrusRex at July 29, 2013 08:15 AM (XUKZU)

118 110. Oh yes, a most excellent scene Teh Salma can rock the underwear like no one else I can understand easily how she married a billionaire

Posted by: Navycopjoe bids aloha to Flossie at July 29, 2013 08:15 AM (/y16L)

119 http://youtu.be/EhOFiLYbafY

Posted by: BCochran1981 at July 29, 2013 12:13 PM (da5Wo)

----

Welp...... there goes MY productivity for the day.....

Posted by: fixerupper at July 29, 2013 08:17 AM (nELVU)

120 Did you see that story about how Bill and Hill are furious that Wiener and Humma are besmirching the Clinton's good name?

Posted by: WalrusRex at July 29, 2013 08:18 AM (XUKZU)

121 Russian thief gets his groin and assface kicked. Is this for real? What's for real is that the thief will not be propagandized as the "victim" by Russia's President or Government officials.

Posted by: panzernashorn at July 29, 2013 08:18 AM (MhA4j)

122

40 fake ... fake ... fake, fake, fake

My money's on attempted viral advertising for Kick Ass 2.

Posted by: Anachronda at July 29, 2013 08:19 AM (xGZ+b)

123

>>> Teh Salma can rock the underwear like no one else

The girl on girl scene in Frida was also, uh...moving.

Posted by: garrett at July 29, 2013 08:20 AM (WSC6V)

124 This video shows how Peruvians greet strangers.

Posted by: CDR M at July 29, 2013 08:20 AM (BuYeH)

125 The old lady bystander? I half expected her to hit the mongrel with her bag. For real? Everyone walking past "nothing to see".

Posted by: panzernashorn at July 29, 2013 08:21 AM (MhA4j)

126

55 It would never be a single beer though, would it? All of the mathematicians' orders put together approaches 1 but never reaches it.

That's why the beer glass washin' sink in the back has a drain.

Posted by: Anachronda at July 29, 2013 08:21 AM (xGZ+b)

127 OT, but WTH, Europe? Between the Spanish train derailment, the seven swimmers killed off the coast of France, and this Italian accident where a tour bus drove OFF A CLIFF, killing 39 people (story linked at Drudge), I'm beginning to wonder if "The Happening" is happening.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit [/s][/b][/u][/i] at July 29, 2013 08:22 AM (4df7R)

128 124. Oh Can't forget Halle Berry in sword fish Lacy underwear and a gun in one scene

Posted by: Navycopjoe bids aloha to Flossie at July 29, 2013 08:22 AM (/y16L)

129

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit at July 29, 2013 12:22 PM (4df7R)

Italians shouldn't be allowed to drive anything but a moped or a wheelbarrow.

Posted by: garrett at July 29, 2013 08:23 AM (WSC6V)

130 128. It's because of my brat I think it's why she comes home today If she can't trash her room she'll trash a continent

Posted by: Navycopjoe bids aloha to Flossie at July 29, 2013 08:24 AM (/y16L)

131 Huma and Anthony after the election.

Posted by: Tony Redenzo at July 29, 2013 08:25 AM (888y+)

132 Oh nice, she's feisty. I like that. Time for my headlock move.

Posted by: Filthy Filner at July 29, 2013 08:25 AM (BuYeH)

133 During the ordealÂ’s second wave, Ubben fought alongside former SEALs Tyrone Woods and Glen Doherty on the roof of the security annex where the other two lost their lives and Ubben nearly lost a leg. Ubben remained on the roof for 20 hours before medical help finally arrived.

@doug ross

(I hadn't known another man was fighting on the roof with doherty and woods he speaks on two tapes .)
sets fresh tea in front of alex, sorry for delay.

Posted by: willow at July 29, 2013 08:25 AM (Jy4tI)

134 She must have read Amy Lynn. :-)

Posted by: Oldsailors Poet Palin/Bolton 2016 at July 29, 2013 08:26 AM (XIxXP)

135 Looks like a Batman fight. All that's missing is the OOOF and the BAM and the SPLAT.

Posted by: Truck Monkey at July 29, 2013 08:27 AM (32Ze2)

136 oh and while this has nothing to do with anything of value, i really want a steak.

now.

Posted by: willow at July 29, 2013 08:27 AM (Jy4tI)

137 I'm suffering from scandal withdrawals. I feel like I'm going to puke. I'm jonsein'!

Posted by: Hands Off My Weiner! at July 29, 2013 08:27 AM (tCBZk)

138

128 OT, but WTH, Europe? Between the Spanish train derailment, the seven swimmers killed off the coast of France, and this Italian accident where a tour bus drove OFF A CLIFF, killing 39 people (story linked at Drudge), I'm beginning to wonder if "The Happening" is happening.

Don't forget Caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnnnnes!

Posted by: Anachronda has been waiting all bloody day for that opportunity at July 29, 2013 08:28 AM (NmR1a)

139 20 hours!

Posted by: willow at July 29, 2013 08:28 AM (Jy4tI)

140 And here comes the rain It looks like shit out here but no real wind yet

Posted by: Navycopjoe bids aloha to Flossie at July 29, 2013 08:30 AM (/y16L)

141 Cops are searching a pond in CT near Aaron Hernandez' uncle's house for the murder weapon. Whatever deal the two other guys cut with law enforcement no doubt included the little tidbit about the pond. I assume they'll find it, and I further assume that Hernandez must by now be realizing that he is fucking done. No more freedom, no more life, no more Mr. Tough Guy, just a shitbag rotting to death in a shithole for the rest of his days.

Posted by: Lincolntf at July 29, 2013 08:30 AM (ZshNr)

142 nevermind, goes back outside to mow lawn.

Posted by: willow at July 29, 2013 08:30 AM (Jy4tI)

143 128 and the AZ/Vegas tour bus driver insisting on driving through a monsoon thunderstorm flash flood low water crossing. bbbbbut, I could see the pavement....

Posted by: Robert Schumann at July 29, 2013 08:31 AM (MhA4j)

144

Heh. National Review has this amusing comment from Mitch McConnell talking about McCain.

Â“You know, I was kidding [New York Democrat Chuck Schumer] and McCain the other day, and asked, Â‘When are you all getting married? ItÂ’s getting almost embarrassing.Â’Â”

Posted by: junior at July 29, 2013 08:31 AM (UWFpX)

145 I'll go with real, If I were going ot stage it - the camera angle on her kicking him would be better.

Posted by: Jean at July 29, 2013 08:32 AM (CMlD4)

146 143 just came in from that

Posted by: Robert Schumann at July 29, 2013 08:32 AM (MhA4j)

147 142. Could have been worse He could have been traded to Dallas

Posted by: Navycopjoe bids aloha to Flossie at July 29, 2013 08:32 AM (/y16L)

148 The thing I like most about this sort of videos?

They allow easy identification of the retards who watched it. They're the ones who instinctively scream "FAKE" for no particular reason.

Posted by: Hollowpoint at July 29, 2013 08:34 AM (SY2Kh)

149 Nude.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit at July 29, 2013 08:34 AM (0HooB)

150

With regards to Dogma:

"Scary thing is this: the film would have to touch on Islam. And unlike the Catholic League, when those cats don't like what you do, they issue a death warrant on yer ass. And now that I've got a family, I'm not as free to stir the shit-pot as I was when I was single, back when I made 'Dogma'. I mean, now I've gotta think about more than my own safety and well-being. But regardless Â— yeah, a 'Dogma' followup's been swimming around in my head for some time now."

Kevin Smith can get fucked with Alanis Morrisette's chancre-ridden clit.

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at July 29, 2013 08:36 AM (zF6Iw)

151 Have we talked about the KKK guy leaving flyers "recruiting" for local KKK sponsored neighborhood watches?

So very, very stupid. And real.

How many Republicans will be trampled in the stampede to the nearest microphone to "denounce this in the strongest terms possible" giving it weight and heft, instead of laughing like a hyena at it as the utter stupidity it is?

Or: Can we talk about Sessions laying bare the lying liars who are pushing amnesty? Or is will the stock, "you're all racist and you don't want to grow the Republican Party" favored response of RNC be sufficient to address this? Say in a "Top Headlines Comments" post tomorrow morning?

Posted by: RoyalOil at July 29, 2013 08:38 AM (VjL9S)

152
It would never be a single beer though, would it? All of the mathematicians' orders put together approaches 1 but never reaches it.

Posted by: EC at July 29, 2013 11:48 AM (GQ8sn)

Asymtotic! woohoo........11111111

Posted by: NCwoof at July 29, 2013 08:38 AM (aUQgu)

153 So let's see...

For no identifiable purpose, someone went through the trouble of setting up a low resolution black and white video camera shooting at a very low frame rate so they could act out a very real looking ass kicking. One that required the dude to voluntarily get kicked in the nads and face.

Note to dummies: No, it does not make you look smart or savvy when you immediately cry "fake".

Could it be fake? Sure, but I see little reason to believe that it is.

Posted by: Hollowpoint at July 29, 2013 08:40 AM (SY2Kh)

154 I watched it before. This time I watched "worlds deadliest snake" which can kill up to 100 people with his venom. Can we more the snake from Australia to a place that begins with a D and ends with a C? Don't be alarmed, NSA. That was merely my mordant sense of humor. I wasn't serious.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at July 29, 2013 08:47 AM (iQit/)

155 Does anybody know how I could rip that music off YouTube and put it on my ipod?

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at July 29, 2013 11:40 AM (zF6Iw)

------------

There are a number of free streaming recorders available online. I use "Any Video Converter". You copy the youtube feed and then you chose to convert it to a mp3.

Posted by: Darth Randall at July 29, 2013 08:48 AM (Zswg6)

156 And can we more the girl from someplace that begins with Whi and ends with "ouse"? Just kidding, NSA.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at July 29, 2013 08:51 AM (iQit/)

157 If real then... it moved.

Still, pretty good if staged. His confronting her after the swipe doesn't seem legit.

Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at July 29, 2013 09:34 AM (eHIJJ)

158 A spinning back kick to finish him off?

Fake.

Posted by: Wardem at July 29, 2013 09:46 AM (bmp0d)

159 Woulda been funnier if one of the other women walking by kicked him in the nuts again just for the hell of it.

Posted by: Ned Reid at July 29, 2013 02:35 PM (sJH4q)

160 I paused just at the bag-kick, and it looks like her foot is right up in there.....I say REAL!

Posted by: Porkkky at July 29, 2013 02:41 PM (lSzZO)

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