May 14, 2013

#ScandalDraft 2013
— Ace

You guys really need to be on this.

Somehow a Scandal Draft has begun. With my first pick, I took "Low Level Employees," then grabbed "Obama Makes an Historic Speech" with a bonus pick I got from a trade last season.

But their are plenty of strong candidates still available.

Update: "Can't comment on an ongoing investigation" was just snapped up. I'm shocked it lasted into the third round.

Darn: I'm glad I got you guys in because some serious prospects are getting snapped up.


Posted by: Ace at 08:05 AM | Comments (691)
Post contains 114 words, total size 1 kb.

1 I"m going with "Isn't Maureen Dean hot".  Also, modified limited hangout.

Posted by: pep at May 14, 2013 08:07 AM (6TB1Z)

2 Jonah Goldberg just made a SMOD reference on FNC said Jay Carney hoping for meteor shower

Posted by: Jones in CO at May 14, 2013 08:08 AM (8sCoq)

3 A blue ribbon committee will be appointed to review the allegations.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at May 14, 2013 08:08 AM (2/nJd)

4 #1 Pick: Buuuuuuuusshhhhhh!!!!!!!!!

Posted by: USA at May 14, 2013 08:08 AM (VIaw0)

5 But Michelle's bangs are longer and sweep to the side.

Posted by: Madamex at May 14, 2013 08:08 AM (Tj05I)

6 "The GOP is just rehashing old news" is all mine.

Posted by: mugiwara at May 14, 2013 08:08 AM (W7ffl)

7 What about "Vast right-wing conspiracy"?  Still available?

Posted by: EC at May 14, 2013 08:08 AM (GQ8sn)

8 #1 Defensive pic: Angelina's boobies!!!!

Posted by: USA at May 14, 2013 08:09 AM (VIaw0)

9 "On advice of counsel, I invoke my 5th amendment right to decline to answer the question..."

Posted by: Additional Blond Agent at May 14, 2013 08:09 AM (PMGbu)

10 It's over 200 years old?

Posted by: EC at May 14, 2013 08:09 AM (GQ8sn)

11 "There may have been some unfortunate abuses but in the end the system worked."

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at May 14, 2013 08:09 AM (2/nJd)

12 Can't comment as it is under investigation and possible litigation

Posted by: Vic at May 14, 2013 08:09 AM (53z96)

13 Barack Obama is a stuttering clusterf*ck of a malignant traitor.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at May 14, 2013 08:09 AM (/PCJa)

14 "This isn't the time for political point scoring."

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at May 14, 2013 08:10 AM (2/nJd)

15 Is First Black President still up for grabs?

Posted by: Phinn at May 14, 2013 08:10 AM (oFH2D)

16 I'm betting that one goes undrafted.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at May 14, 2013 08:10 AM (/PCJa)

17 All time MVP: Passive Voice.

Posted by: USA at May 14, 2013 08:10 AM (VIaw0)

18 Look Angelina Jolie!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by: jmel at May 14, 2013 08:10 AM (t1oUn)

19 I'm drafting "Can't comment on an ongoing investigation."

Posted by: shillelagh at May 14, 2013 08:10 AM (hRzu2)

20 I put $25 on V e r a...... B a k e r.

Posted by: fixerupper at May 14, 2013 08:10 AM (nELVU)

21 Is "...racism. Strait up," still available?

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at May 14, 2013 08:10 AM (/PCJa)

22

I'm "No Controlling Legal Authority" as my new franchise  player.

Posted by: Jaws at May 14, 2013 08:11 AM (4I3Uo)

23 Sleeper pic: Don't look at me. I was with Reggie.

Posted by: USA at May 14, 2013 08:11 AM (VIaw0)

24 What are the odds a major 'school shooting' happens within the next 48 hours?

Posted by: Tami[/i][/b][/u][/s] at May 14, 2013 08:11 AM (X6akg)

25 I'll take "What difference, at this point, does it make?"

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at May 14, 2013 08:12 AM (/PCJa)

26 I've got "We gave the American people all the information as we got it" resting on the bench.

Posted by: JackStraw at May 14, 2013 08:12 AM (g1DWB)

27 I'm drafting "Can't comment on an ongoing investigation."

Posted by: shillelagh at May 14, 2013 12:10 PM (hRzu2)


Too late, I already got that one

Posted by: Vic at May 14, 2013 08:12 AM (53z96)

28 How about: "I was drunk." Used by morons everywhere.

Posted by: waldo at May 14, 2013 08:12 AM (sXWmd)

29 Is "Acting Stupidly" a free agent?

Posted by: USA at May 14, 2013 08:12 AM (VIaw0)

30 Republican caused it all

Posted by: willow at May 14, 2013 08:12 AM (nqBYe)

31 24 What are the odds a major 'school shooting' happens within the next 48 hours? Sick but probably true.

Posted by: Madamex at May 14, 2013 08:12 AM (Tj05I)

32 "I take full responsibility. Now, with that behind us, let's get back to work doing the business of the American people."

Posted by: kpayne at May 14, 2013 08:12 AM (CR7hx)

33 Let me be clear, I don't know.

Posted by: willow at May 14, 2013 08:12 AM (nqBYe)

34 Is "Those Records Were Left at my Old Law Firm" still available?

Posted by: RoyalOil at May 14, 2013 08:12 AM (VjL9S)

35

What are the odds a major 'school shooting' happens within the next 48 hours?

 

They're trying to play those same cards with the NO Mother's Day Parade shooting. (A Mother's day parade?  Really?  When did people start having those?)

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at May 14, 2013 08:12 AM (/PCJa)

36 Anyone want to trade me something for "Beer Summit"? The scouts say this one has lost its legs but you never know, still a lot of fire in this prospect.

Posted by: ace at May 14, 2013 08:13 AM (LCRYB)

37 Can't imagine that  'Vast Right Wing Conspiracy' is still  available.

Posted by: garrett at May 14, 2013 08:13 AM (7mGZz)

38 I'm drafting "Can't comment on an ongoing investigation."


Posted by: shillelagh at May 14, 2013 12:10 PM (hRzu2)

Too late, I already got that one

Posted by: Vic at May 14, 2013 12:12 PM (53z96)

I saw, didn't see it until I submitted my post.  Damn you, Vic.

Posted by: shillelagh at May 14, 2013 08:13 AM (hRzu2)

39 'Due to the altitude..'

Posted by: Mike Hammer at May 14, 2013 08:13 AM (aDwsi)

40 I'll take "an unfortunate byproduct of the President's hands-off management style" in the first round.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at May 14, 2013 08:14 AM (2/nJd)

41 "Que?" Just over and over, "Que?" It works for my lawn man.

Posted by: Blacksheep at May 14, 2013 08:14 AM (8/DeP)

42 How about "Partisan political games," or it's twin brother, "Partisan witch hunt."

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at May 14, 2013 08:14 AM (/PCJa)

43 Something something cynicism of the past.

Posted by: Jollyroger at May 14, 2013 08:14 AM (t06LC)

44 It's true that "Inherited From The Previous Administration" is  nearing the end of his  career, but when going into the playoffs, you really want a veteran leading your team.

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at May 14, 2013 08:14 AM (CJjw5)

45 How has "The (fill in the blank) is an independent agency and you'll have to ask them." not been snapped up yet?

Posted by: JackStraw at May 14, 2013 08:14 AM (g1DWB)

46 Utility players: "Distraction" "Important Work to Do" "Playing Politics" "Heavy Dialect from Church Pulpit"

Posted by: USA at May 14, 2013 08:14 AM (VIaw0)

47

Isn't "Let me be clear" a restricted free agent this season?   What's the asking price?

 

"Republican obstructionism" is on the market, but it's such a cheap whore that you can get it for a bargain basement price and use it in any situation.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorirst) Party Hobbit [/s][/i][/b][/u] at May 14, 2013 08:14 AM (4df7R)

48 I'd go with "I'm not a Crook" but they retired   his  jersey.

Posted by: Roy at May 14, 2013 08:14 AM (VndSC)

49

Too cute.

 

It's a shame we don't have another media outlet other than twitter for this type of silliness.

 

Something like... oh, I don't know, maybe comedians who tell jokes on tv or something.  You could put  them on late at night so adults who are getting ready for bed had something entertaining and enlightening to watch, rather than discussing Angelina Jolie's absent breasts, or whatever. 

Posted by: BurtTC at May 14, 2013 08:14 AM (TOk1P)

50 "Needless distraction!" "We need to get back to the work of the American People" "Yeah, but Bush did it too!"

Posted by: Baldy at May 14, 2013 08:14 AM (tyDFN)

51 I'll trade a 'Headwinds' for a 'Bump in the Road'..

Posted by: Mike Hammer at May 14, 2013 08:15 AM (aDwsi)

52
In related news Hasboro anounces the release of the "Preposition Game"... where players take their chances with the new meanings to prepositions like "the definition of is is"... and "there is no there there".

Posted by: fixerupper at May 14, 2013 08:15 AM (nELVU)

53 I like "No Controlling Legal Authority."

If that's already gone, "No Single, Solitary Shred of Evidence" is a good replacement.*

* Love that phrase, of course there isn't/wasn't just one single, solitary shred of evidence--there were many. So the statement, while completely a lie, is 100% technically accurate.

Posted by: RoyalOil at May 14, 2013 08:15 AM (VjL9S)

54 How about "there are some who say [insert something here that nobody says]"?

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at May 14, 2013 08:15 AM (2/nJd)

55 >>36 Anyone want to trade me something for "Beer Summit"? The scouts say this one has lost its legs but you never know, still a lot of fire in this prospect.<<


I'll trade you "Because Rush Limbaugh" for "Beer Summit"

Posted by: Muad'dib at May 14, 2013 08:15 AM (KjlbF)

56 I don't know if it counts, but I hear the back up siren on the 'ol Barack Bus warming up for Hillary, Eric, and whoever they can find for the IRS

Posted by: Jollyroger at May 14, 2013 08:15 AM (t06LC)

57 "Barry's Middle Finger Face Scratch"

Posted by: mrp at May 14, 2013 08:16 AM (HjPtV)

58 What about "I did everything I could!"

Posted by: EC at May 14, 2013 08:16 AM (GQ8sn)

59 "I am not a crook"

Posted by: mark x at May 14, 2013 08:16 AM (srGEx)

60

A sleeper is "Taking time off to spend with family"

 

Posted by: Roy at May 14, 2013 08:16 AM (VndSC)

61 Please tell me that "national conversation for overturning Citizens United" hasn't been drafted yet.

Posted by: Hollowpoint at May 14, 2013 08:16 AM (SY2Kh)

62 "There's no there, there" just failed a urine test, so that's out.

Posted by: Blacksheep at May 14, 2013 08:16 AM (8/DeP)

63 The old Robert Gibbs' line(s) "I'm not a scientist, accountant, ect. Jim".  is a REAL sleeper and could fall to the eighth round.  If you go back and play those old soundbites, you'll find that this one has legs and can be paired with a common, "We don't have that information," -for a Top Pick.

I'd rather have that excuse than Albert Pujols this season. It can carry you through the "lean times" when your bigg-unz are slumping.

Posted by: Slapweasel at May 14, 2013 08:16 AM (7gwGw)

64 Is "Too Intellectual To Be in Politics" still playing?

Posted by: Burn the Witch at May 14, 2013 08:16 AM (NcPjb)

65 congressional dems march to White House in a show of solidarity

Posted by: Chico Esquela at May 14, 2013 08:16 AM (PuX55)

66 and of all the scandals hitting the newsprint, television and sound waves, only because the AP realized that THEIR phones were bugged by Obama's administration, their American Idol.

Posted by: Tigger Woulds at May 14, 2013 08:16 AM (MhA4j)

67 Yes! I just scored "I just found out about this from the papers like most Americans" for a cliche to be named later.

Posted by: JackStraw at May 14, 2013 08:16 AM (g1DWB)

68 "All of this is a distraction from the key issues."

Posted by: Miss80sBaby at May 14, 2013 08:16 AM (YjDyJ)

69

I don't know about the initial Draft but I do predict that mid season their will be a trade for :

 

"I'm resigning  from the administration  to spend more time with the family / family obligations"

Posted by: polynikes at May 14, 2013 08:16 AM (m2CN7)

70 Is    "laser like focus"    still available?       I'll trade you    "gutsy call's" expiring contract and a second round pick in the next draft.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorirst) Party Hobbit [/s][/i][/b][/u] at May 14, 2013 08:17 AM (4df7R)

71 dark horse pick: We have a huge government with many, many departments, and I can't monitor, or be personally responsible, for what happens in any single department on any single day.

Second dark horse: Being president is hard!

/thank you Mrs. Clinton

Posted by: shibumi at May 14, 2013 08:17 AM (z63Tr)

72
..... ooooooh..... I got a winner!!!!!


"pivoting back to 'jobs'"

Posted by: fixerupper at May 14, 2013 08:17 AM (nELVU)

73 "Heads will roll" is on the disabled list.

Posted by: Roy at May 14, 2013 08:17 AM (VndSC)

74 Is 'All wee weed up' taken yet?

Posted by: Tami[/i][/b][/u][/s] at May 14, 2013 08:17 AM (X6akg)

75 On a serious note, it is at times like this our enemies like to test weak Presidents. Do not be shocked if we have some kind of attack if these scandals envelop the White Hut.

Posted by: Baldy at May 14, 2013 08:17 AM (tyDFN)

76 With the 25th pick overall, the Jewish delegation selects Lenny Kravitz. Lenny Kravitz...

Posted by: kreplach at May 14, 2013 08:17 AM (Zx2Zj)

77 "It depends on what the meaning of the word 'is' is"

Posted by: mark x at May 14, 2013 08:17 AM (srGEx)

78 I pick Harumph.

Posted by: soothsayer at May 14, 2013 08:17 AM (C0ttM)

79 "The people that did this will be held accountable" People = someone else Accountable = fired not prosecuted Did this = a singular action not a series of actions targeting a specific group of people for persecution to help Obama

Posted by: SomeSay the Strawmarian at May 14, 2013 08:18 AM (Q7N/g)

80 "Political side-show" is an excellent value pick in the 4th round.

Posted by: eleven at May 14, 2013 08:18 AM (KXm42)

81 "That was not a decision made by the White House" has got to be a top ten pick at    the very     least.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorirst) Party Hobbit [/s][/i][/b][/u] at May 14, 2013 08:18 AM (4df7R)

82 I have my eyes on "Release my Second Chakra" as  a plucky, overacheiving value pick in the 7th round.

Posted by: Jaws at May 14, 2013 08:18 AM (4I3Uo)

83 Media now Loves 1st amendment!

Posted by: willow at May 14, 2013 08:18 AM (nqBYe)

84 Who got  'unexpected '  ?

Posted by: polynikes at May 14, 2013 08:18 AM (m2CN7)

85 "I reject this false dichotomy" should probably go end of 1st, beginning of 2nd.

Posted by: Chariots of Toast at May 14, 2013 08:18 AM (mm+xE)

86 "At least there isn't a sex scandal...yet"

Posted by: Baldy at May 14, 2013 08:18 AM (tyDFN)

87 (A Mother's day parade? Really? When did people start having those?)

New Orleans has little unofficial parades every day.  You'll be shocked to learn the group putting this one on started in a housing project and the 19-year-old suspect has a huge of list of priors.

Posted by: HeatherRadish™ braucht ein Bier at May 14, 2013 08:18 AM (ZKzrr)

88 "My dog ate it"

Posted by: mark x at May 14, 2013 08:18 AM (srGEx)

89 There is no there there

Posted by: dcose at May 14, 2013 08:18 AM (z6XbH)

90 If you really want to impress the rubes it has to be in French and John Francious Kerry should say it.

Posted by: Skandia Recluse at May 14, 2013 08:18 AM (ectWR)

91 "I am not a crook" will announce the next draft pick.

Posted by: eleven at May 14, 2013 08:19 AM (KXm42)

92 With the 25th pick overall, the Jewish delegation selects Lenny Kravitz.

Lenny Kravitz...

Posted by: kreplach at May 14, 2013 12:17 PM (Zx2Zj)



We pick.......THE WU-TANG CLAN!!!


Posted by: The Asians at May 14, 2013 08:19 AM (GQ8sn)

93 Partay Hardy - Obama admi

ts

Posted by: willow at May 14, 2013 08:19 AM (nqBYe)

94 Did anybody take "The President was unaware"?

Posted by: AmishDude at May 14, 2013 08:19 AM (T0NGe)

95 "I wish our government was more like China's..." appears to be undrafted to this point as well. Curious, that.

Posted by: Chariots of Toast at May 14, 2013 08:19 AM (mm+xE)

96 sure, "I inherited this from Bush."

Posted by: Tigger Woulds at May 14, 2013 08:19 AM (MhA4j)

97 "Fringe element" is still on the board but I'm concerned. It sounds great on paper but never seems to come up big when really needed.

Posted by: JackStraw at May 14, 2013 08:19 AM (g1DWB)

98 Is "Vast Right-Wing Conspiracy" still available?

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at May 14, 2013 08:19 AM (zF6Iw)

99 Oh shit, I got the best one!


"My account was hacked!!!"

Posted by: EC at May 14, 2013 08:19 AM (GQ8sn)

100 enemies lists

Posted by: willow at May 14, 2013 08:19 AM (nqBYe)

101 I stun the room by picking"My Sacred Honor Compels Me" 

Posted by: hogndude at May 14, 2013 08:19 AM (EZTwi)

102 Shit, I forgot "I was Baking Cookies with my Daughter."

That's a prime prospect with a lot of gameday potential.

Posted by: RoyalOil at May 14, 2013 08:20 AM (VjL9S)

103 is The American People Want To Move On available?

Posted by: soothsayer at May 14, 2013 08:20 AM (qpM85)

104 I'm taking "Bitch set me up" in the later rounds to shore up my offense.

Posted by: eastvalleyphx at May 14, 2013 08:20 AM (GRvW4)

105 They're trying to play those same cards with the NO Mother's Day Parade shooting. (A Mother's day parade? Really? When did people start having those?) That's over. The perp isn't PC.

Posted by: AmishDude at May 14, 2013 08:20 AM (T0NGe)

106 Not a player so much as a season strategy by the coaches: "Let's go ahead and get these kinks worked out now in the early season so they're out of public consciousness in time for the playoffs."

Posted by: Burn the Witch at May 14, 2013 08:20 AM (NcPjb)

107 Is "Vast Right-Wing Conspiracy" still available?

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at May 14, 2013 12:19 PM (zF6Iw)


No.


I picked it up in post #7.

Posted by: EC at May 14, 2013 08:20 AM (GQ8sn)

108 [And aside: it's really, really good that the HQ is blocked at the White House, because really, if you just added up all our posts, it's a Jay Carney briefing!]

[Also.. do not know that HQ is banned, it's an assumption; I'm sure Huffpo and all the Soros shills take up most of the bandwith.]

Posted by: shibumi at May 14, 2013 08:20 AM (z63Tr)

109 Unfortunately it looks    like    "terrorist attack" has fallen off the    draft board and is    just    praying the phone rings for    a shot at a backup job.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorirst) Party Hobbit [/s][/i][/b][/u] at May 14, 2013 08:20 AM (4df7R)

110 Imma dust off Vast Right Wing Conspiracy.

Posted by: Xavier at May 14, 2013 08:20 AM (EmV3f)

111 how about Blue Ribbon Commission?

Posted by: soothsayer at May 14, 2013 08:20 AM (E7Qlq)

112 I find that accusing your opponents of fathering black children works well.

Posted by: Alexander Hamilton at May 14, 2013 08:20 AM (6TB1Z)

113 "a laser like focus on..."Look squirrel !

Posted by: cu'chulainn at May 14, 2013 08:20 AM (Vk2CC)

114 Anything with "some say" in it is going to get you distance.  The K/BB ratios are too good to pass up in the thirteenth round.  Straw men can deal the strikeouts; while allowing base runners a very lean pace.

Comp:  Jake Peavy

Posted by: Slapweasel at May 14, 2013 08:20 AM (7gwGw)

115 This is the silly season.

Posted by: huerfano at May 14, 2013 08:20 AM (bAGA/)

116 "The effort is always to, in that circumstance, and with an ongoing investigation and a lot of information, some of it accurate, some of it not, about what had happened and who was responsible, to provide information for members of Congress and others in the administration, for example, who might speak publicly about it that was based on only what the intelligence community could say for sure it thought it knew." Sure, it's long, but it means so much.

Posted by: Blacksheep at May 14, 2013 08:20 AM (8/DeP)

117 I've always said-- fill in blank

Posted by: willow at May 14, 2013 08:20 AM (nqBYe)

118 I'll draft the crafty veteran, George Bush.

Posted by: Booby Ahr at May 14, 2013 08:21 AM (zmZ2x)

119 OK, VWRC is taken.  Can I put down 10 bucks on "Expletive deleted"?

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at May 14, 2013 08:21 AM (zF6Iw)

120 "you tube video'  was just let go on waivers. 

Posted by: polynikes at May 14, 2013 08:21 AM (m2CN7)

121

Wondering when the grandson of "nattering nabobs of negativity"- that is,

 

"this is causing the public to be cynical about government" will come off the board...

Posted by: Chariots of Toast at May 14, 2013 08:21 AM (mm+xE)

122 Jay Carney will be at the podium soon. Let the cliches begin!

Posted by: Roy at May 14, 2013 08:21 AM (VndSC)

123 My fellow Americans, I would like to announce that I have authorized a strike on both Iran's and North Korea's nuclear facilities in simultaneous attacks.

Posted by: Attilla the Hun at May 14, 2013 08:21 AM (H0lcY)

124

You'll be shocked to learn the group putting this one on started in a housing project and the 19-year-old suspect has a huge of list of priors.

 

If by "shocked" you mean "totally unsurprised," then, yes, I'm shocked.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at May 14, 2013 08:21 AM (/PCJa)

125 Is "I think the Jooos were behind all this" still on the table?

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at May 14, 2013 08:21 AM (2/nJd)

126 I'm glad nobody said, "Never let a crisis go to waste," 'cause that might be embarrassing.

Posted by: Rahm Emmanuel at May 14, 2013 08:21 AM (JQuNB)

127 is 'Booooosh'  taken?

Posted by: willow at May 14, 2013 08:22 AM (nqBYe)

128 If the president does it, it's legal.

Posted by: huerfano at May 14, 2013 08:22 AM (bAGA/)

129

probably going undrafted:

"Inhalators...er, uh- Breathalyzers!"

Posted by: Chariots of Toast at May 14, 2013 08:22 AM (mm+xE)

130 "We need to get back to work for the American People" shows promise.

Posted by: flmom at May 14, 2013 08:22 AM (nSjrf)

131

Who has 'racism' or 'the Jooos'?

Posted by: Washington Nearsider at May 14, 2013 08:22 AM (fwARV)

132 "The     President deserves    a vacation,"    is a great value in the sixth round, with a    guaranteed       return on investment    that's at least equal to the initial outlay.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorirst) Party Hobbit [/s][/i][/b][/u] at May 14, 2013 08:22 AM (4df7R)

133 Kind of odd how the gaps between draft picks always is exactly 18 minutes long.

Posted by: Roy at May 14, 2013 08:22 AM (VndSC)

134 Rush Limbaugh did it...

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at May 14, 2013 08:23 AM (+98Gb)

135 "I won"

Posted by: cu'chulainn at May 14, 2013 08:23 AM (Vk2CC)

136 "Osama Bin Laden is dead, and GM is alive."

Taken?

Posted by: EC at May 14, 2013 08:23 AM (GQ8sn)

137

Wasn't it Jim Wright, creepy House Speaker who said something like:  "We're just tying to HELP you."

 

I can't find it anywhere, but I want that one. 

Posted by: BurtTC at May 14, 2013 08:23 AM (TOk1P)

138 Can we get Roger Goodell to come out and shake the hands of the draft picks as they are announced?

Posted by: SomeSay the Strawmarian at May 14, 2013 08:23 AM (Q7N/g)

139  your fair share

Posted by: willow at May 14, 2013 08:23 AM (nqBYe)

140 Is "unified executive" taken?

Posted by: The MSM, Now with Balls! at May 14, 2013 08:23 AM (JQuNB)

141 "There is a herpes sore on the Presidency."

Posted by: Baldy at May 14, 2013 08:23 AM (tyDFN)

142 "Put Some Ice on It", a very physical player with a  long history of  off-field  legal issues  has dropped into the second round.

Posted by: Jaws at May 14, 2013 08:23 AM (4I3Uo)

143 gimme your pie

Posted by: willow at May 14, 2013 08:23 AM (nqBYe)

144 Kind of odd how the gaps between draft picks always is exactly 18 minutes long. Posted by: Roy at May 14, 2013 12:22 PM


That's a stretch.

Posted by: zombie Rosemary Woods at May 14, 2013 08:23 AM (bAGA/)

145 I cannot believe no one has gone for "It's above my pay grade."

Now there's a strong second string player!

Posted by: shibumi at May 14, 2013 08:23 AM (z63Tr)

146

That's over. The perp isn't PC.

 

I think they're going with the "how easy it is for criminals to get guns" non sequitur.  There's been a lot of buzz around that here in DFW on the Liberal News networks (primarly our ABC affiliate, but also the local NBC one, I think).

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at May 14, 2013 08:23 AM (/PCJa)

147 "Partisan hatchet job"

Posted by: Crabby Old Bat at May 14, 2013 08:24 AM (ZVKoE)

148 Can we still blame "Whittaker Chambers's scurrilous lies"? Yes, We Can!

Posted by: JeremiadBullfrog at May 14, 2013 08:24 AM (Y5I9o)

149 No Drama Obama!

Posted by: willow at May 14, 2013 08:24 AM (nqBYe)

150 How about..."Uh"

Posted by: trainer at May 14, 2013 08:24 AM (K5X44)

151 This one's mine: "It was a little Portuguese Water Dog in a crate that he'd sent all the way from Texas. Black and white spotted. And our little girl—Sasha, the 11-year-old—named it Bo. And you know, the kids, like all kids, love the dog and I just want to say this right now, that regardless of what they say about it, we're gonna keep it. Until lunch."

Posted by: AmishDude at May 14, 2013 08:24 AM (T0NGe)

152 You people seem to be having fun at my expense. This really is a lonely job.

Posted by: Barack Millhouse Obama at May 14, 2013 08:24 AM (jucos)

153 "Is the job of president too big for just one man?" rumored to be in training for a comeback....

Posted by: Chariots of Toast at May 14, 2013 08:24 AM (mm+xE)

154 I want As I've Always Said.

Posted by: soothsayer at May 14, 2013 08:24 AM (uaJ2E)

155 My accusers want to take away your diaphragm.

Posted by: pep at May 14, 2013 08:24 AM (6TB1Z)

156 "Look, the American people are smart ...."

Posted by: Blacksheep at May 14, 2013 08:24 AM (8/DeP)

157 My All-Star: "Let Me Be Clear."

Posted by: The Obsidian Owl at May 14, 2013 12:24 PM (tWmgi)


Your all-star is beat by "As I said..."

Posted by: EC at May 14, 2013 08:25 AM (GQ8sn)

158 For the children.


Posted by: zombie Nancy Pelosi at May 14, 2013 08:25 AM (bAGA/)

159 Confession: As fun as this is, its honestly pretty hard for me to come up with these seeing as I've gone out of my way to avoid hearing that asshole speak for the last four years.

Posted by: Jollyroger at May 14, 2013 08:25 AM (t06LC)

160 Of course, "I want  you to stonewall" has vintage appeal as well as a little gay-friendly chic for the kids.

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at May 14, 2013 08:25 AM (zF6Iw)

161 "Can I just finish my waffle" has a good motor.

Posted by: Meghan's McCans at May 14, 2013 08:25 AM (tl7W6)

162 No attack ever fed a hungry child.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot Jr. at May 14, 2013 08:25 AM (HvmjJ)

163 Snapped up 'The Reason This Happened Was the Video' in the first round.

Posted by: Mike Hammer at May 14, 2013 08:25 AM (aDwsi)

164 I need some speed in the secondary, so my third-rounder is "Jesse don't wanna run nuthin' but his mouth" from Chicago State.

Posted by: Tex Lovera at May 14, 2013 08:25 AM (wtvvX)

165 Deficit reduced by half.

Unemployed find their voice

Posted by: willow at May 14, 2013 08:25 AM (nqBYe)

166 You know, even though his college career was dicey and I can't see him going any higher than 4th round, I'm thinking "Sensitive Information Redacted" is valuable as a reliable backup.

Posted by: Burn the Witch at May 14, 2013 08:25 AM (NcPjb)

167

Has anyone taken "Ungovernable" yet?

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at May 14, 2013 08:25 AM (/PCJa)

168 A real up-and-comer this season is "We had no knowledge."  it is THE utility infielder that this team needs.  It qualifies at 2B, 3B, SS and OF.  The positional variability makes for a quality selection whose career .312 AVG makes for useful R & RBI.

Comp: Martin Prado

Posted by: Slapweasel at May 14, 2013 08:25 AM (7gwGw)

169 If you like your draft pick, you can keep your draft pick.

Posted by: Roy at May 14, 2013 08:25 AM (VndSC)

170 It happened a long time ago is firing his agent since he apparently has been overlooked since he made a strong appearance at the camps. 

Posted by: polynikes at May 14, 2013 08:25 AM (m2CN7)

171 Did you see the size of "Another Question and You're Under Arrest?" Word is he would be a disruptive influence in the league.

Posted by: USA at May 14, 2013 08:25 AM (VIaw0)

172 I am claiming Modified Limited Hang-out in my first round pick,  to be followed by There is an 18-minute Gap in the Tape.

Posted by: Miss Marple at May 14, 2013 08:26 AM (GoIUi)

173

Dammit, I think someone already snatched "So I'll know whose ass to kick" in a last second trade!   I was REALLY hoping I could grab that one.

 

Does anyone know the standing of "most sophisticated consumer of intelligence     on the planet?"     Is it still available, or has it already    been drafted by the Bills?

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorirst) Party Hobbit [/s][/i][/b][/u] at May 14, 2013 08:26 AM (4df7R)

174

87 -

 

Please, for all that is good and holy, no!

Posted by: BurtTC at May 14, 2013 08:26 AM (TOk1P)

175 "If the Bush administration and GOP in Congress had not dismantled so much of the oversight procedures and defunded watchdogs, these crimes would have been detected."

So, yeah.. they are blaming Bush - i'm glad I got banned at Daily Kooks.. because my responses to this bullshit above would get me banned anyway!

Posted by: Chi-Town Jerry at May 14, 2013 08:26 AM (f9c2L)

176 I'll use the sandwich pick I got when Rahm Emmanuel left as a Type A Free Agent to draft "The President needs to be allowed to get back to the business of governing."

Posted by: Jeff B. at May 14, 2013 08:26 AM (/Rmj0)

177 My first-rounder?  A mortal lock:

"I did not have sexual relations with that woman..."

Posted by: Tex Lovera at May 14, 2013 08:26 AM (wtvvX)

178 "It was like Special Olympics or something."

Posted by: Blacksheep at May 14, 2013 08:26 AM (8/DeP)

179 Who got Mistakes Were Made?

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD, you taunty bitch. at May 14, 2013 08:26 AM (Gk3SS)

180 "C'mon guys, we're trying to buy shrimp here!" is still on the board? Amazing.

Posted by: Chariots of Toast at May 14, 2013 08:26 AM (mm+xE)

181 Has anyone taken "all these attacks have racist undertones" yer?

Posted by: SomeSay the Strawmarian at May 14, 2013 08:26 AM (Q7N/g)

182 Maybe "I wanna cut his balls off" should be reserved for late-night games.

Posted by: Jesse Jackson at May 14, 2013 08:26 AM (JQuNB)

183 'Chickens come home to roost'

Posted by: Mike Hammer at May 14, 2013 08:26 AM (aDwsi)

184

@148

 

I had that one for the Gosnell case answer. If the other scandals are above his pay grade, he really needs to take up golfing full time.

Posted by: Jollyroger at May 14, 2013 08:27 AM (t06LC)

185 S.E. Cupp: RNC Chair Reince Priebus calls on Holder to resign.

Posted by: USA at May 14, 2013 08:27 AM (VIaw0)

186 Do I need to turn up the reverb on my speechafyin' machine?

Posted by: Barack Millhouse Obama at May 14, 2013 08:27 AM (jucos)

187 The Associated Press acted stupidly.

Posted by: Blacksheep at May 14, 2013 08:27 AM (8/DeP)

188 What Difference Does It Make is on the injured reserve and may be traded for I Am Not Aware Of That Information. 

Posted by: polynikes at May 14, 2013 08:27 AM (m2CN7)

189 This one's mine:

"It was a little Portuguese Water Dog in a crate that he'd sent all the way from Texas. Black and white spotted. And our little girl—Sasha, the 11-year-old—named it Bo. And you know, the kids, like all kids, love the dog and I just want to say this right now, that regardless of what they say about it, we're gonna keep it.

Until lunch."

And unlike some women, my wife doesn't have a fur coat.  She has a good cloth coat. 

*Because let's face it, you couldn't cover her gigantic backside with a mastadon's coat. *

Posted by: pep at May 14, 2013 08:27 AM (6TB1Z)

190 I heard the stock of "lower your premiums 3000%" is rising, need to jump on that one now.

Posted by: cu'chulainn at May 14, 2013 08:27 AM (Vk2CC)

191 "Can I just eat my waffle?"

Posted by: Blacksheep at May 14, 2013 08:27 AM (8/DeP)

192 "White House press secretary Jay Carney is full of appreciation for reporters' questions -- often when he doesn't have, or doesn't plan to give, answers. Above, a compilation of Carney's overwhelming gratitude."

http://politi.co/10nNsTU

Posted by: Miss80sBaby at May 14, 2013 08:27 AM (YjDyJ)

193 #166  No attack ever fed a hungry child" is an excellent choice,  considering the return of scandal-veteran Cheryl Mills.

Posted by: Miss Marple at May 14, 2013 08:27 AM (GoIUi)

194 I hear Joe Biden is in charge of the entire farm club.

Posted by: Roy at May 14, 2013 08:27 AM (VndSC)

195 And with my second-round pick I'm going to take an undervalued veteran left on the table, "This is just a partisan witch-hunt."

Posted by: Jeff B. at May 14, 2013 08:27 AM (/Rmj0)

196 who has Let's End The Partisan Bickering And Do The People's Business?

Posted by: soothsayer at May 14, 2013 08:27 AM (uaJ2E)

197 Hm, why settle for just Sequester? I think "Federal agencies demoralised by years of destructive anti-government rhetoric" may have legs.

Posted by: anonymous irishman at May 14, 2013 08:28 AM (DJgfL)

198 I think "No Controlling Legal Authority" is a dark horse ripe for a comeback.

Posted by: Darles Chickens at May 14, 2013 08:28 AM (z4vvZ)

199 "UPS and FedEx are doing just fine, right? It's the Post Office that's always having problems."

Posted by: Blacksheep at May 14, 2013 08:28 AM (8/DeP)

200 Sudden military action against Libya, Syria and/or Korea.

Posted by: NYC Parent at May 14, 2013 08:28 AM (HEo6y)

201 "Some say..."
"Voices of cynicism..."

Posted by: Stu-22 at May 14, 2013 08:28 AM (AiYlm)

202 I got "Bending the Cost Curve".

Posted by: EC at May 14, 2013 08:28 AM (GQ8sn)

203

If you're looking for a solid fullback, "composite girlfriend" is a great buy for the money.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorirst) Party Hobbit [/s][/i][/b][/u] at May 14, 2013 08:28 AM (4df7R)

204 I just do what the man behind the teleprompter tells me to do. Is that you Axelrod?

Posted by: Vizzy at May 14, 2013 08:28 AM (H0lcY)

205 I take the big wild card We have been contacted by extraterrestrials ... and aaaa they agree with me!

Posted by: Paladin at May 14, 2013 08:28 AM (DPvCq)

206

Dang!  I'm late.

I'll have to go with "Greenhouse gas emissions."

Posted by: Warthog at May 14, 2013 08:28 AM (WDySP)

207 It takes a village to avoid impeachment.

Posted by: Hillary! at May 14, 2013 08:28 AM (JQuNB)

208 How was “If they bring a knife to the fight, we bring a gun,” still available in round 5? It's gone now suckers!

Posted by: Dr Spank at May 14, 2013 08:29 AM (4cRnj)

209 "Waiting on a thorough investigation..."

"Why can't I just eat my waffle?"

Posted by: Stu-22 at May 14, 2013 08:29 AM (AiYlm)

210 "This problem could all be solved if everyone just inflated their tires properly" is streaking up the draft boards...

Posted by: Chariots of Toast at May 14, 2013 08:29 AM (mm+xE)

211 I can't believe my luck in having "The highly partisan Republican Darrell Issa" fall all the way to the third round.  I'm taking that one like it's hot.

Posted by: Jeff B. at May 14, 2013 08:29 AM (/Rmj0)

212 I just took "Sensitive National Security Information"
(Which probably was sensitive national security information! D'oh!)

Posted by: tsrblke (work)[/i][/b][/u][/s] at May 14, 2013 08:29 AM (ULkyQ)

213 ♪ Ground control to Major Tom. ♪

Posted by: Major Tom Obama at May 14, 2013 08:29 AM (UzPAd)

214 I'm taking Sheriff Joe as Mr. Irrelevant if he's still awake.

Posted by: Blacksheep at May 14, 2013 08:29 AM (8/DeP)

215 Trading up to the 3rd round for "Let me be perfectly clear."

Posted by: Diogenes at May 14, 2013 08:29 AM (1/RiT)

216 "This is just a story about sex and not a scandal" doesn't get on the field that often but I'm toying with the idea of putting it on my taxi squad. It can be a real game changer when all else fails.

Posted by: JackStraw at May 14, 2013 08:29 AM (g1DWB)

217 Damn it. Don't know if I'm too stupid to use twitter or what. Nothing showing up.

Posted by: RWC at May 14, 2013 08:29 AM (fWAjv)

218 I will trade "Mitt Romney hasn't paid taxes in 10 years!" to someone.

Posted by: EC at May 14, 2013 08:29 AM (GQ8sn)

219 They won't let you post anything on the internet that isn't true.

Posted by: The Obsidian Owl at May 14, 2013 12:26 PM (tWmgi)

 

"Bonjorr."

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorirst) Party Hobbit [/s][/i][/b][/u] at May 14, 2013 08:29 AM (4df7R)

220

For my  #1  pick, I'll take   "RACIST!!1!1#Eleventy!!1!"

 

Rumors of his   hamstring  injury   have been greatly exaggerated.  He's tanned, rested and ready.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit at May 14, 2013 08:29 AM (+z4pE)

221 How about "Look Over There!! Something Shiny!!"

Posted by: ghostofhallelujah at May 14, 2013 08:29 AM (XvrTA)

222 176 I am claiming Modified Limited Hang-out in my first round pick, to be followed by There is an 18-minute Gap in the Tape.
Posted by: Miss Marple

At last, clear evidence that Miss Marple does NOT read the comments.  I mean, it's #1 for crying out loud.

Posted by: pep at May 14, 2013 08:29 AM (6TB1Z)

223 "What about your gaffes?"

Posted by: Lurking Canuck at May 14, 2013 08:29 AM (BrQrN)

224 "Do they think I would just appoint Valerie Jarrett for nothing?"

Posted by: No cuts, no butts, no coconuts at May 14, 2013 08:29 AM (go4rb)

225

I'm taking some variation of "we've been fully cooperative and forthright since we became aware of (insert scandal here) very recently"

 

It goes nicely with the most transparent administration ever meme he has going on.

Posted by: Jollyroger at May 14, 2013 08:29 AM (t06LC)

226 "They can come after me! I'll have that discussion!"

Posted by: Hey Where's Barky? at May 14, 2013 08:30 AM (AzwZn)

227 "This sort of incivility has no place in our politics..."

Posted by: Stu-22 at May 14, 2013 08:30 AM (AiYlm)

228 Choom Boy's administration needs a new squirrel:  Mooch has changed her hair again!!11111!!!!!!!!!!!  Isn't she glam?!!!11??!!!

Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 14, 2013 08:30 AM (lVPtV)

229 "RNC Chair Reince Priebus calls on Holder to resign. Posted by: USA at May 14, 2013 12:27 PM (VIaw0)" How did the last calls for his resignation work out? Now that Reince is so much more powerful after the last election, I'm sure Holder's drafting up the letter as we type.

Posted by: Burn the Witch at May 14, 2013 08:30 AM (NcPjb)

230 "At this point, what does it matter?"

Posted by: Red Shirt at May 14, 2013 08:30 AM (FIDMq)

231 I call "Jamie Gorelick". You know she's involved. You just know it.

Posted by: AmishDude at May 14, 2013 08:30 AM (T0NGe)

232 "I've now been in 57 states — I think one left to go."

Posted by: Blacksheep at May 14, 2013 08:30 AM (8/DeP)

233 Fox Breaking:  Eric Holder recuses himself from AP leak investigation

Posted by: Tami[/i][/b][/u][/s] at May 14, 2013 08:31 AM (X6akg)

234 I was the hottest player three years ago, all over t-shirts and everything. Why doesn't anybody want me now?

Posted by: This is a Big Fuckin' Deal at May 14, 2013 08:31 AM (W7ffl)

235 My defense goes by the nickname, "Rogue Agents".... they unpredictably do exactly what I ask them to do

Posted by: Jack at May 14, 2013 08:31 AM (tlqmD)

236 "They bring a knife, we bring a gun."

Also, his opponents are "enemies."

Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 14, 2013 08:31 AM (lVPtV)

237 Doesn't Eric Holder look like a black version of Yanni?

Posted by: EC at May 14, 2013 08:31 AM (GQ8sn)

238 "Lotta Chatter out there. Ignore It"

Posted by: ghostofhallelujah at May 14, 2013 08:31 AM (XvrTA)

239 I woke up and it smelled like someone was barbecuing or something. I said oh lord Jesus there's a fire and I ran for my life but the smoke got me and I got bronchitis. Ain't nobody got time for that.

Posted by: Obama at May 14, 2013 08:31 AM (Q7N/g)

240 Oooohhh! How about a tearful sitdown with Oprah or the View? Does that count? Very SOP.

Posted by: Jollyroger at May 14, 2013 08:31 AM (t06LC)

241 RNC Chair Reince Priebus declares Eric Holder shovel ready.

Posted by: USA at May 14, 2013 08:31 AM (VIaw0)

242 I'm signing "Sacrificial Press Secretary" as an unrestricted free agent, Ace.  Make sure the Commissioner is informed.

Posted by: Jeff B. at May 14, 2013 08:31 AM (/Rmj0)

243 I hear "laser like focus on the economy" scored a 3 on the wunderlick.

Posted by: dillhole12 at May 14, 2013 08:31 AM (uURnG)

244 Reagan did it...oh look a squirrel.

Posted by: Jim Scrummy at May 14, 2013 08:31 AM (d4ZzM)

245 "Pack it up and go home" could come in as a pleasant 3rd round longshot pick.

Posted by: Fritz at May 14, 2013 08:31 AM (UzPAd)

246 Has anyone claimed "Its the economy stupid" off waivers yet? I'm rebuilding for 2016.

Posted by: Flyguy at May 14, 2013 08:31 AM (4rxW7)

247 How long before the "I an not a crook" statement?

Posted by: maddogg at May 14, 2013 08:31 AM (OlN4e)

248 Just trying to buy some shrimp, here.

Posted by: wth at May 14, 2013 08:32 AM (wAQA5)

249 Has no one snatched up "have you plugged the hole yet, daddy?"   WTH, that is solid gold!   Do I trade up to the fourth, or hope it keeps falling and get it in the seventh?

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorirst) Party Hobbit [/s][/i][/b][/u] at May 14, 2013 08:32 AM (4df7R)

250 226 I will trade "Mitt Romney hasn't paid taxes in 10 years!" to someone.
Posted by: EC
---------------------

Will you take a Tsunami?

Posted by: Mike Hammer at May 14, 2013 08:32 AM (aDwsi)

251 "Voices that seek division and controversy rather than positive change..."

Posted by: Stu-22 at May 14, 2013 08:32 AM (AiYlm)

252 Modified limited Hangout?

Never heard of that one.  Must be one of those Div. II guys.

Posted by: eleven at May 14, 2013 08:32 AM (KXm42)

253 I'll take a foreign-born player with my next pick.

From the motherland: "There is no Soviet domination of Eastern Europe". 

HUGE upside.  HUGE.......

Posted by: Tex Lovera at May 14, 2013 08:32 AM (wtvvX)

254 THUNK (sound of head hitting the table as she faints from blood clots, exhaustion, and general nastiness)

Posted by: Hillary Clinton at May 14, 2013 08:32 AM (6TB1Z)

255 Recuse me? He's the smartest man in the room.

Posted by: Erich Holderreich at May 14, 2013 08:32 AM (krHnX)

256 248 Doesn't Eric Holder look like a black version of Yanni?

Posted by: EC at May 14, 2013 12:31 PM (GQ8sn




Doesn't Yanni have a chin? 

Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 14, 2013 08:32 AM (lVPtV)

257 Undrafted free agent.... "settled science"

Posted by: Jack at May 14, 2013 08:32 AM (tlqmD)

258 "These are not the scandals you're looking for..."

Posted by: Old Ben Kenobi at May 14, 2013 08:33 AM (Zs83Q)

259 "Nothing is clear, as of yet.", could be this Year's Mike Trout.  It shows cloudy premise with unclear future.  Everything you need in an excuse.

Floor:  Bryce Harper

Posted by: Slapweasel at May 14, 2013 08:33 AM (7gwGw)

260 I will trade "Mitt Romney hasn't paid taxes in 10 years!" to someone.


Posted by: EC
---------------------

Will you take a Tsunami?

Posted by: Mike Hammer at May 14, 2013 12:32 PM (aDwsi)



No, but do you have his cousin "Rising tide lifts all boats"?

Posted by: EC at May 14, 2013 08:33 AM (GQ8sn)

261 fcol, i put all of my suggestions on a different thread!


i need to call it a day.

Posted by: willow at May 14, 2013 08:33 AM (nqBYe)

262 I'll take "Executive privilege, STFU."

It's probably the only one he hasn't explicitly used yet, and the way this is going, it will come out of the woodwork soon enough.

Posted by: Sayyid at May 14, 2013 08:33 AM (jriHC)

263 Is "i did not have sexual relations with that woman" still on the boards?

Posted by: dillhole12 at May 14, 2013 08:33 AM (uURnG)

264 If "Have You No Sense of Decency?"  - a raw talent if there ever was one -  gets some help with his mechanics and footwork, he can make it in this league.

Posted by: Jaws at May 14, 2013 08:33 AM (4I3Uo)

265 "Our long national bad sleepy is over." -- President Joe Biden

Posted by: GuyfromNH at May 14, 2013 08:33 AM (ILXYI)

266 Doesn't Eric Holder look like a black version of Yanni? He looks like Stedman Winfrey.

Posted by: Blacksheep at May 14, 2013 08:33 AM (8/DeP)

267 Let the SCOAMF eat his waffle.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 14, 2013 08:33 AM (lVPtV)

268 Uh-oh.  "Have you no decency, sir?" has just announced his retirement....

Posted by: Tex Lovera at May 14, 2013 08:33 AM (wtvvX)

269 Fake but accurate.

Posted by: Heralder at May 14, 2013 08:33 AM (+xmn4)

270 "Low-level employee Jay Carney acted alone, without the knowledge of the President and senior administration officials..."

Posted by: Stu-22 at May 14, 2013 08:33 AM (AiYlm)

271 Presstitutes called upÂ… wavering: pitch or catch

Posted by: dcose at May 14, 2013 08:33 AM (z6XbH)

272 "This is unacceptable."

Posted by: Anthony L. at May 14, 2013 08:33 AM (bl6Iq)

273 I just got : "And it’s not surprising then they get bitter, they cling to guns or religion or antipathy to people who aren’t like them or anti-immigrant sentiment or anti-trade sentiment as a way to explain their frustrations.”



Posted by: Dr Spank at May 14, 2013 08:33 AM (4cRnj)

274

I definitely still need to draft a media distraction position.  Do you think "NFL Star comes out of the closet" will be worth anything?  "NBA Deadweight comes out of the closet" seems to have been a bust.

Posted by: buzzion at May 14, 2013 08:34 AM (LI48c)

275 @275: dammit, beat me to it!!!

Posted by: Tex Lovera at May 14, 2013 08:34 AM (wtvvX)

276 CNS News: IRS WonÂ’t Say If It Will Comply With Congressional Demand for All Communications and Names Involved in Discriminating Against Tea Party Groups

Posted by: Baldy at May 14, 2013 08:34 AM (tyDFN)

277 What are the scouting reports on "How dare you?"

Posted by: Meghan's McCans at May 14, 2013 08:34 AM (tl7W6)

278 Short but sweet:

"We won!"

Posted by: Parker at May 14, 2013 08:34 AM (YkW3i)

279 Time to get this franchise back on track: I take Superstorm Sandy.

Posted by: Blacksheep at May 14, 2013 08:34 AM (8/DeP)

280 "My son, Trayvon, cannot be with me for the upcoming Father's Day" BHO

Posted by: ghostofhallelujah at May 14, 2013 08:34 AM (XvrTA)

281

"Take off your bedroom slippers, put on your marching shoes" ran the Forty in 4.16 seconds at its Pro Day.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorirst) Party Hobbit [/s][/i][/b][/u] at May 14, 2013 08:34 AM (4df7R)

282 I was the hottest player three years ago, all over t-shirts and everything. Why doesn't anybody want me now?
Posted by: This is a Big Fuckin' Deal

Cry me a river.

Posted by: Absolute moral authority at May 14, 2013 08:34 AM (6TB1Z)

283 I'd like to go with The Carl Bernstein defense: "I can't IMAGINE the White House was involved."

Posted by: BlueStateRebel at May 14, 2013 08:34 AM (7ObY1)

284 #231  Rats!  I saw your Maureen Dean comment in #1, pep,  but missed the rest!

Well,  foo.

And by the time I had gotten my comment typed,  someone else had already chosen the 18-minute tape gap.

This is why I am no good at fantasy sports.

Well,  I hope there is a drinking game with these,  because I am sure we will hear a lot of them this week!

Posted by: Miss Marple at May 14, 2013 08:34 AM (GoIUi)

285 "Governer Romney, what about your GAAAAFFFFEES?!"

Posted by: Heralder at May 14, 2013 08:34 AM (+xmn4)

286 This thread BEGS for a pic of Choom Boy, kneeling on a LA beach, studying little tar balls, with the caption:  "I think I'm going to kill myself."

Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 14, 2013 08:34 AM (lVPtV)

287 274 Is "i did not have sexual relations with that woman" still on the boards?

-----

For SCOAMF? Er, remove the "wo-" and it could be.

Posted by: Stu-22 at May 14, 2013 08:34 AM (AiYlm)

288 Do you think "NFL Star comes out of the closet" will be worth anything? You mean Benjamin Ghazi? I think he's a linebacker.

Posted by: AmishDude at May 14, 2013 08:34 AM (T0NGe)

289 Oh sweet, I just looked over the list and saw "Well-Funded Corporate Interests" was still available! His defense against short pass plays is questionable, but his nobody can shore up a run defense better.

Posted by: Burn the Witch at May 14, 2013 08:35 AM (NcPjb)

290 I'm looking at White Patriarchy out of Harvard in a late round.

Posted by: joncelli at May 14, 2013 08:35 AM (RD7QR)

291 Just picked up "That memory is SEARED, SEARED into my brain" off the waiver wire....

Posted by: Tex Lovera at May 14, 2013 08:35 AM (wtvvX)

292 "Did you plug the hole daddy?"

Posted by: Baldy at May 14, 2013 08:35 AM (tyDFN)

293 lets Bannion kick My shins.

Posted by: willow at May 14, 2013 08:35 AM (nqBYe)

294 How many of the doozies from Obama's Nerd Prom are coming true?

Posted by: Fritz at May 14, 2013 08:35 AM (UzPAd)

295

You'll be shocked to learn the group putting this one on started in a housing project and the 19-year-old suspect has a huge of list of priors.



If by "shocked" you mean "totally unsurprised," then, yes, I'm shocked.

 

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at May 14, 2013 12:21 PM (/PCJa)

 

-----------------------

 

When I was in the restaurant biz  I had a  grill man named  Preston.  Late thirties black  guy,  and his deal was that he was a Mardi Gras Indian.  Short  version:  these assholes  sew these  absurdly giant costumes out  of electric-dayglo colored feathers with giant  headdresses and beads - it's totally fucking retarded looking.

 

Anyway, there are  dozens of these Mardi Gras Indian "tribes"  and they have their little parades approximately all the fucking time, going through  the housing projects.  Inevitably, two or more tribes come across each other and hurl insults about the others' tribe,  the inferiority  of their stupid-looking  costumes, etc.

 

So Preston, being high up in one of these "tribes" took offense and confronted one of these guys insulting his "chief."  So the guy put a fucking hatchet in his head.

 

A.  Hatchet.

 

In the Infantry,  we have a mission  profile called "Movement To Contact."  Essentially,  it is walking into an area and expecting to get into a fight.  That's  what these assholes in New Orleans do on a more frequent  and a much, much dumber scale.

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at May 14, 2013 08:35 AM (CJjw5)

296 Oh, I've got: "This isn't as bad as Watergate." -- Bob Woodward.

Posted by: AmishDude at May 14, 2013 08:35 AM (T0NGe)

297 "chocolate thunder"

Posted by: Jack at May 14, 2013 08:35 AM (tlqmD)

298 Air Force One buzzing Manhattan.  Hilarity ensued.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 14, 2013 08:35 AM (lVPtV)

299 "Gonna putchoo all back in chains"     is starting to trend up.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorirst) Party Hobbit [/s][/i][/b][/u] at May 14, 2013 08:36 AM (4df7R)

300 "It's time to stop all this cynicism and turn our attention to helping the middle class."

Posted by: Body Builder at May 14, 2013 08:36 AM (DrC22)

301

Is "i did not have sexual relations with that woman" still on the boards?

 

I'll trade you for "the meaning of "is"."  Dumb fucker never comes to practice.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit at May 14, 2013 08:36 AM (+z4pE)

302 "Halliburton" caught the yips for a couple years and has been lying low, but I feel he's got a comeback in him. I call dibs.

Posted by: JeremiadBullfrog at May 14, 2013 08:36 AM (Y5I9o)

303 "Fore!"

Posted by: Dr Spank at May 14, 2013 08:36 AM (4cRnj)

304 Palomino!

Posted by: zombie Nancy Pelosi at May 14, 2013 08:37 AM (bAGA/)

305 Let us continue to suppose that the fundamental error of regarding functional notions as categorial is unspecified with respect to an important distinction in language use. It may be, then, that the descriptive power of the base component may remedy and, at the same time, eliminate a corpus of utterance tokens upon which conformity has been defined by the paired utterance test. It must be emphasized, once again, that the systematic use of complex symbols is not subject to a general convention regarding the forms of the grammar. Note that the appearance of parasitic gaps in domains relatively inaccessible to ordinary extraction is necessary to impose an interpretation on nondistinctness in the sense of distinctive feature theory. To characterize a linguistic level L, a subset of English sentences interesting on quite independent grounds can be defined in such a way as to impose the strong generative capacity of the theory.

Posted by: BlearyTruth at May 14, 2013 08:37 AM (uazKL)

306 Damn it #58, I wanted the Middle Finger Face Scratch.

Posted by: Frank Underwood (D-SC) at May 14, 2013 08:37 AM (fscec)

307 I feel like "Now watch this drive." is due for a comeback.

Posted by: Meghan's McCans at May 14, 2013 08:37 AM (tl7W6)

308 Leadin' from behind'

Posted by: ValJar, holding JEF's urine test results at May 14, 2013 08:37 AM (dniUc)

309 "It's Rush's fault."

Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 14, 2013 08:37 AM (lVPtV)

310 Ah ain't no ways tahrrrrred!

Posted by: Hillary! at May 14, 2013 08:37 AM (JQuNB)

311 And in head coaching news, "Ve vas just folloving orders" has been lured out of retirement by the Packers...

Posted by: Tex Lovera at May 14, 2013 08:37 AM (wtvvX)

312

I Didn't Do It, Nobody Saw Me Do It, There's No Way You Can Prove Anything! 

 

Posted by: Bart Simpson at May 14, 2013 08:37 AM (SO2Q8)

313 Let's move on.

Posted by: WalrusRex at May 14, 2013 08:38 AM (Hx5uv)

314 Jay Carney press briefing now late....

Posted by: Baldy at May 14, 2013 08:38 AM (tyDFN)

315 I don't think anybody's going to take "Hope and Change".

Posted by: AmishDude at May 14, 2013 08:38 AM (T0NGe)

316 John McCain signs the undrafted free agent "Let's give Obama the benefit of the doubt" Shocked that he was still on the board!

Posted by: t-bird at May 14, 2013 08:38 AM (FcR7P)

317 That's what these assholes in New Orleans do on a more frequent and a much, much dumber scale. I take it Preston didn't make out too well in the deal...?

Posted by: Additional Blond Agent at May 14, 2013 08:38 AM (PMGbu)

318 "I will not be distracted by partisan sideshows from fighting to solve the problems of working Americans..."

Posted by: Stu-22 at May 14, 2013 08:38 AM (AiYlm)

319 So Preston, being high up in one of these "tribes" took offense and confronted one of these guys insulting his "chief." So the guy put a f****** hatchet in his head.

A. Hatchet.

pfffft.

Posted by: Lizzie Borden at May 14, 2013 08:38 AM (6TB1Z)

320 Is John Dean still alive?

Posted by: Nevergiveup at May 14, 2013 08:38 AM (9Bj8R)

321 Babies = punishments

Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 14, 2013 08:38 AM (lVPtV)

322 "It happened a long time ago" still available.

Posted by: EC at May 14, 2013 08:38 AM (GQ8sn)

323

I'm getting a really good feeling about, "I shoot skeet all the time."   That kid has a lot of raw talent.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorirst) Party Hobbit [/s][/i][/b][/u] at May 14, 2013 08:38 AM (4df7R)

324 Oh sweet, I just looked over the list and saw "Well-Funded Corporate Interests" was still available!

Whoa whoa whoa.  That's it's nickname.  I already claimed it's legal name "Blame Citizens United".

Posted by: Hollowpoint at May 14, 2013 08:38 AM (SY2Kh)

325 "I'm sorry, I just don't have any information for you on that."

"Other than press reports, we have no knowledge of ___ ."

Posted by: Miss80sBaby at May 14, 2013 08:39 AM (YjDyJ)

326

How about "rich tradition of hunting?"  I think he'll make a solid Free Safety.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at May 14, 2013 08:39 AM (/PCJa)

327 330 Jay Carney press briefing now late....

Posted by: Baldy at May 14, 2013 12:38 PM (tyDFN)

 

Watch it be delayed until after 3 again.

Posted by: buzzion at May 14, 2013 08:39 AM (LI48c)

328 Did anyone take "the meaning of is"?

Posted by: Jack at May 14, 2013 08:39 AM (tlqmD)

329 "Regggiiiiiieeeeee. Regggggggiiieeeeeeee!"

Posted by: Barack Ovomit at May 14, 2013 08:39 AM (XvrTA)

330 I take it Preston didn't make out too well in the deal...?

 

Posted by: Additional Blond Agent at May 14, 2013 12:38 PM (PMGbu)

 

------------------------------

 

That depends.  No one was able to ask him afterwards  if what he really wanted was a hatchet in his skull.  So,  I guess it's possible, but unlikely that he made out well.

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at May 14, 2013 08:39 AM (CJjw5)

331 "Those records were inadvertently destroyed."

Posted by: Parker at May 14, 2013 08:39 AM (YkW3i)

332 316 "Halliburton" caught the yips for a couple years and has been lying low, but I feel he's got a comeback in him. I call dibs. Posted by: JeremiadBullfrog at May 14, 2013 12:36 PM (Y5I9o) Had that. If I could work this damn thing. grrr

Posted by: RWC at May 14, 2013 08:40 AM (fWAjv)

333 Preezy Mom Jeans' awesome pitch will always be a favorite.

That, and his manly bicycling skillz.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 14, 2013 08:40 AM (lVPtV)

334 Is - Look over here: No fly zone over Syria still available?

Posted by: ThisBeingMilt at May 14, 2013 08:40 AM (7mQyC)

335 being president is hard

Posted by: phoenixgirl at May 14, 2013 08:40 AM (GVxQo)

336 Over three hundred draft choices and "I can't testify due to my concussion" is still on the board? I'm snapping that up.

Posted by: t-bird at May 14, 2013 08:40 AM (FcR7P)

337

That depends. No one was able to ask him afterwards if what he really wanted was a hatchet in his skull. So, I guess it's possible, but unlikely that he made out well.

 

On the other hand, I'm willing to bet he got the American dream- a roof (lid) over his head and his own plot of land.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at May 14, 2013 08:40 AM (/PCJa)

338 "The American people have nothing to fear from an Obama administration" was removed from draft consideration after its lifeless body was found naked behind the dressing room.

Posted by: Juan McCain at May 14, 2013 08:40 AM (JQuNB)

339 Will someone trade me for "Modern Day Slavery?"

I've got some crafty Clinton Era veterans I'd put up for that. 

Posted by: RoyalOil at May 14, 2013 08:41 AM (VjL9S)

340

Let me be clear, I picked up "leading from behind", but as I have always said, I will trade it for a pair of Candy Crowley's underwear (unwashed).

 

Posted by: RokShox at May 14, 2013 08:41 AM (8MMMw)

341 OK, I only got to 181.  Can I draft "The [insert agency here] acted stupidly?"

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at May 14, 2013 08:41 AM (zF6Iw)

342 That depends. No one was able to ask him afterwards if what he really wanted was a hatchet in his skull. So, I guess it's possible, but unlikely that he made out well.

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at May 14, 2013 12:39 PM (CJjw5)



At least he got to join that small, select bunch of people who got to experience the unique sensation of what cool air passing over your exposed brain feels like.

Posted by: EC at May 14, 2013 08:41 AM (GQ8sn)

343 I am still torn on who to draft at QB because I'm trying to decide on what offense to run.

The Fast & Furious or the Hope & Change?

Posted by: Tex Lovera at May 14, 2013 08:41 AM (wtvvX)

344 Reichtag fire

Posted by: An oldie but a goodie at May 14, 2013 08:41 AM (SO2Q8)

345 Soon.

Posted by: Joe Biden at May 14, 2013 08:41 AM (6TB1Z)

346 Did someone already take "Clown Questions?"  He seems like a good choice for ILB.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at May 14, 2013 08:41 AM (/PCJa)

347 Has anyone mentioned "corpseman" yet?

Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 14, 2013 08:41 AM (lVPtV)

348 On the other hand, I'm willing to bet he got the American dream- a roof (lid) over his head and his own plot of land.

 

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at May 14, 2013 12:40 PM (/PCJa)

 

---------------------------

 

Even better - funeral parade.  Because no one learned a fuckin thing from the last parade.

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at May 14, 2013 08:41 AM (CJjw5)

349 How about partisan obstructionist Congress for 500 Alex?

Posted by: hello, it's me Donna at May 14, 2013 08:41 AM (9+ccr)

350 330 Jay Carney press briefing now late....

Posted by: Baldy at May 14, 2013 12:38 PM (tyDFN)



He's curled up in a fetal position in the ladies room sucking his thumb.

Posted by: Tami[/i][/b][/u][/s] at May 14, 2013 08:42 AM (X6akg)

351 Latest "Science" proven wrong. Warning NY Slime link http://tinyurl.com/czaxddt

Posted by: Billy Bob, pseudo intellectal at May 14, 2013 08:42 AM (wR+pz)

352 "Low-level employees, acting on their own, inadvertently misplaced records related to these ongoing investigations..."

Posted by: Stu-22 at May 14, 2013 08:42 AM (AiYlm)

353 I traded my entire team for "I have instructed...."

Posted by: USA at May 14, 2013 08:42 AM (VIaw0)

354 "Politics of personal destruction" for my defensive line.

Posted by: Parker at May 14, 2013 08:42 AM (YkW3i)

355

I'm going with the wild card...Sic semper tyrannis....

Posted by: RightOne40 at May 14, 2013 08:42 AM (8QW0x)

356 363 Soon.

Posted by: Joe Biden at May 14, 2013 12:41 PM (6TB1Z




God help us. 

Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 14, 2013 08:42 AM (lVPtV)

357 I'll take the twenty year veteran: "Everyone needs to take a deep breath."

Posted by: Amstead at May 14, 2013 08:42 AM (UYeid)

358 Is "teachable moment" still on the board?

Posted by: Meghan's McCans at May 14, 2013 08:42 AM (tl7W6)

359 I don't want to brag, but I just closed the deal with "Cher says something stupid on Twitter."

Posted by: ace at May 14, 2013 08:42 AM (LCRYB)

360 Has anyone drafted the Dream Team Duo of    "The future    must     not belong to those who slander the prophet of Islam"    and     "I     killed       Osama"?   

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorirst) Party Hobbit [/s][/i][/b][/u] at May 14, 2013 08:42 AM (4df7R)

361 Maybe i shouldn't have taken all that gardisil

Posted by: Barry at May 14, 2013 08:42 AM (SO2Q8)

362 #Remember, becoming president was a step down for me.

Posted by: crappie time at May 14, 2013 08:42 AM (J+V/o)

363 Damn, should have snapped up "I'm recusing myself" sooner. Seriously: Holder recusing himself from AP spying investigation.

Posted by: joncelli at May 14, 2013 08:42 AM (RD7QR)

364 "They's gon' try an lynch po' Barack, sho' as I'ze stannin' he'yuh"

Posted by: Barack Ovomit at May 14, 2013 08:42 AM (XvrTA)

365 I'll take the off-the-street tryout "We shouldn't punish a few  hard-working public employees who let their passion get the better of them. They're only human."

Posted by: weft cut-loop [/i] [/b] at May 14, 2013 08:42 AM (YTstp)

366 "Pass it to find out what's in it!" is already putting on his jersey.

Posted by: EC at May 14, 2013 08:42 AM (GQ8sn)

367 "I am not going to let this deter me" has just decided it would rather play baseball.

Posted by: Force Boxman at May 14, 2013 08:42 AM (RcDOi)

368

I think a desperation prick is in order at this point.

"These are not the droids you're looking for."

Posted by: Warthog at May 14, 2013 08:43 AM (WDySP)

369 Somehow all of these scandals just make me feel empty inside.

Posted by: Angelina Jolie's Boobies at May 14, 2013 08:43 AM (vJ+mj)

370 "We intend to fully cooperate with the investigation"

Posted by: Adirondack Patriot at May 14, 2013 08:43 AM (iAUf+)

371 "Well, looks like we have a constitutional crisis, so we gonna need to instill Marshall Law for a wee bit..."

Posted by: Old Ben Kenobi at May 14, 2013 08:43 AM (Zs83Q)

372 I wonder how many times Carney has had to empty his underwear this morning?

Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 14, 2013 08:43 AM (lVPtV)

373 That depends. No one was able to ask him afterwards if what he really wanted was a hatchet in his skull. So, I guess it's possible, but unlikely that he made out well.

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at May 14, 2013 12:39 PM (CJjw5)

 

Was it really a hatchet, or was it a dayglo tomahawk?

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorirst) Party Hobbit [/s][/i][/b][/u] at May 14, 2013 08:43 AM (4df7R)

374 Let's be grateful that we have this opportunity to have a national discussion about __________ . It's a teachable moment.

Posted by: Bronze Age Wiseass at May 14, 2013 08:43 AM (ZshNr)

375 "The buck stops here" is always good.......

Posted by: Body Builder at May 14, 2013 08:43 AM (DrC22)

376 Is 'witchhunt' available? How about 'implied to be doing it because I'm black'?

Posted by: blindside at May 14, 2013 08:43 AM (x7g7t)

377 I'm drafting all the ampersands so Tex Lovera doesn't get them for the playoffs. &&&&&

Posted by: t-bird at May 14, 2013 08:43 AM (FcR7P)

378 "An unbiased, bi-partisan investigation" as my center.

Posted by: Parker at May 14, 2013 08:43 AM (YkW3i)

379 Have you snapped up, "We won't pursue any articles as they would never pass the democratic majority senate"?

Posted by: J bone her at May 14, 2013 08:44 AM (/b8+5)

380 "We've already addressed that."  Is a knockout that will go in the later rounds.  Most didn't expect to see him advance to the Majors this season, but sources say that he'll arrive by June.

Comp:  Matt Harvey

Posted by: Slapweasel at May 14, 2013 08:44 AM (7gwGw)

381 Sock off

Posted by: Lincolntf at May 14, 2013 08:44 AM (ZshNr)

382 "(fill in the blank) has come out as gay and I couldn't be more proud of him" is a real good value in the 6th round. You can never have enough phrases that shift the conversation.

Posted by: JackStraw at May 14, 2013 08:44 AM (g1DWB)

383 I have no recollection of that Senator.

Posted by: Attila at May 14, 2013 08:44 AM (Cs2tJ)

384 395 "The buck stops here" is always good.......



His actual words to us were "The buck stops with you."

Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 14, 2013 08:44 AM (lVPtV)

385

"The sun was in my eyes"

 

Posted by: mark x at May 14, 2013 08:44 AM (srGEx)

386 395 "The buck stops here" is always good....... Posted by: Body Builder at May 14, 2013 12:43 PM (DrC22) The buck stops anywhere but here... Sincerely Barry Sotero, Emperor for life...

Posted by: hello, it's me Donna at May 14, 2013 08:44 AM (9+ccr)

387 Has noone mentioned the cure-all? Racism!

Posted by: maddogg at May 14, 2013 08:44 AM (OlN4e)

388 "Leading from behind"

Posted by: NativeNH at May 14, 2013 08:44 AM (wFh9r)

389 I did not have non-consensual sexual relations with that constitution, from behind.

Posted by: Barry at May 14, 2013 08:44 AM (SO2Q8)

390 I wonder how many times Carney has had to empty his underwear this morning?

Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 14, 2013 12:43 PM (lVPtV)


----


I kinda had Carney as a Depends type of guy....  or was it Pampers??

Posted by: fixerupper at May 14, 2013 08:44 AM (nELVU)

391 They're trying to play those same cards with the NO Mother's Day Parade shooting. (A Mother's day parade? Really? When did people start having those?) Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at May 14, 2013 12:12 PM (/PCJa) When the government decided it needed another shooting to distract attention. Oops...that was supposed to be my inside voice.

Posted by: blindside at May 14, 2013 08:44 AM (x7g7t)

392

I don't want to brag, but I just closed the deal with "Cher says something stupid on Twitter."  

 

I have "fire doesn't melt steel."  Got   her/him  in the castoffs from the fourth round.

 

Trade?

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit at May 14, 2013 08:44 AM (+z4pE)

393 "I will not rest until [fill in the blank]."

Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 14, 2013 08:45 AM (lVPtV)

394 On special teams:

"As our founding fathers once said:"

Posted by: Parker at May 14, 2013 08:45 AM (YkW3i)

395 OMG you guys are some funny mfers. Thanks for all the laughs.

Posted by: ThisBeingMilt at May 14, 2013 08:45 AM (7mQyC)

396

Saw a funny sign

" Don't die a virgin, terrorist are up there waiting for you"

Posted by: Velvet Ambition at May 14, 2013 08:45 AM (R8hU8)

397 321 Damn it #58, I wanted the Middle Finger Face Scratch. Posted by: Frank Underwood (D-SC) at May 14, 2013 12:37 PM (fscec) Watch out there has been recent revelations of problems with the coaching staff and a DUI that might signal some character issues. I'd go with "all these attacks have racial undertones" as the safer pick.

Posted by: Mr Pink at May 14, 2013 08:45 AM (Q7N/g)

398 "Lone Wolf", please. I also traded down to get "Rogue agent". Whoa, I just got hundreds of players!

Posted by: t-bird at May 14, 2013 08:45 AM (FcR7P)

399 "Can't we all just get along" is getting up there in age, but still has great form.

Posted by: mugiwara at May 14, 2013 08:45 AM (W7ffl)

400 "I will not allow the good work of countless dedicated public servants to be diminished by the misguided deeds of a few low-level employees acting without authorization...

Posted by: Stu-22 at May 14, 2013 08:45 AM (AiYlm)

401 I don't want to brag, but I just closed the deal with "Cher says something stupid on Twitter."

Posted by: ace at May 14, 2013 12:42 PM (LCRYB)

 

Cher's getting a bit creaky in her dotage, ace.  I'd recommend drafting "Ellen Barkin    says something    stupid    on Twitter" as an   insurance policy.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorirst) Party Hobbit [/s][/i][/b][/u] at May 14, 2013 08:45 AM (4df7R)

402 351 Is -
Look over here: No fly zone over Syria
still available?

Posted by: ThisBeingMilt at May 14, 2013 12:40 PM (7mQyC)


Ooooh, surprised that much talent went in such a late round.

Posted by: joncelli at May 14, 2013 08:45 AM (RD7QR)

403 MULLIGAN

Posted by: Barry at May 14, 2013 08:45 AM (SO2Q8)

404

Picked up "Ain't nobody got time for that" for special teams player.

 

Posted by: RokShox at May 14, 2013 08:46 AM (8MMMw)

405 Is "I am not a dictator" taken yet?

Posted by: Anthony L. at May 14, 2013 08:46 AM (bl6Iq)

406 207 Sudden military action against Libya, Syria and/or Korea.

I'm adding Iran for the win!

Posted by: shibumi at May 14, 2013 08:46 AM (z63Tr)

407 #scandaldraft is now #2 in the US on twitter

Posted by: AltonJackson@work at May 14, 2013 08:46 AM (1EUmb)

408 Cher too late... Bette Midler already said something stupid...

Posted by: hello, it's me Donna at May 14, 2013 08:47 AM (9+ccr)

409 395 "The buck stops here" is always good....... Posted by: Body Builder at May 14, 2013 12:43 PM (DrC22) That's racist!

Posted by: Chris Matthews at May 14, 2013 08:47 AM (DrC22)

410 I kinda had Carney as a Depends type of guy.... or was it Pampers?? Yes.

Posted by: Additional Blond Agent at May 14, 2013 08:47 AM (PMGbu)

411 "I will not rest until [fill in the blank]."
Posted by: Jane D'oh
_________________________________________________________
That is right next to "Racism!!!!111!1" it should have gone in the first round.

Comp:  Robinson Cano

Posted by: Slapweasel at May 14, 2013 08:47 AM (7gwGw)

412 I feel that "I'm not like those other guys on the dollar bill" is a player ready for at least some solid backup.

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at May 14, 2013 08:47 AM (zF6Iw)

413 "This is a local issue, not worthy of mainstream media coverage..."

Posted by: Reggie Love at May 14, 2013 08:47 AM (y5bPZ)

414 "I have ordered immediate attacks on..." for the offensive line.

Posted by: Parker at May 14, 2013 08:47 AM (YkW3i)

415 No Jedi mind-meld yet?

Posted by: LC LaWedgie at May 14, 2013 08:47 AM (krHnX)

416 Valarie said this shit was all under control.

Posted by: Barry Obama's diary at May 14, 2013 08:48 AM (bAGA/)

417

All of these events were the responsibilty of an evil mastermind playing 12 dimensional chess.

Joe Biden

Posted by: Barry at May 14, 2013 08:48 AM (SO2Q8)

418 Has anyone claimed #Bush'sFault?

Posted by: BeckoningChasm at May 14, 2013 08:48 AM (P7hip)

419 I've been a fan since "rouge investigator run amok" was a rookie back in 1998. He's been playing in Italy, but I think he's ready to come back.

Posted by: joeindc44 says President Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho 2016 at May 14, 2013 08:48 AM (QxSug)

420 Anyway, I take "I will continue to look for ways to do it administratively and work around Congress" AND "I wish I could bypass Congress and change things on my own."

They're the Mathis-Freeney of petty tyranny.

Posted by: HeatherRadish™ braucht ein Bier at May 14, 2013 08:48 AM (ZKzrr)

421 "All of this chatter won't bring Trayvon back... he was killed by a WHITE hispanic"

Posted by: Barack Ovomit at May 14, 2013 08:48 AM (XvrTA)

422

Oooh   goody!  I see "I am constrained by the Constitution" is still available.

 

*pounces*

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit at May 14, 2013 08:48 AM (+z4pE)

423 Joe Biden just showed up at the draft with his star prospect, "They Gonna Put You All Back in Chains!!"...

Posted by: Stu-22 at May 14, 2013 08:48 AM (AiYlm)

424 "I cannot tell a lie.  Rush Limbaugh cut down the cherry tree."

Posted by: WalrusRex at May 14, 2013 08:48 AM (Hx5uv)

425 If not claimed, I further draft "Those responsible have been disciplined but we won't say who because fuck you."

Posted by: Hollowpoint at May 14, 2013 08:48 AM (SY2Kh)

426 "Pres O is the greatest president ever and they are preparing to include him on Mt. Rushmore"

Posted by: J bone her lib cousin at May 14, 2013 08:48 AM (/b8+5)

427 "Worryworts warning about tyranny" is said to be mulling a graduation from college    basketball    point guard to professional    NFL wide receiver.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorirst) Party Hobbit [/s][/i][/b][/u] at May 14, 2013 08:48 AM (4df7R)

428 "Can I have a mulligan?"

Posted by: Billy Bob, pseudo intellectal at May 14, 2013 08:49 AM (wR+pz)

429 Signed "My parents met in Benghazi" as an undrafted free agent.

Posted by: Lincolntf at May 14, 2013 08:49 AM (ZshNr)

430 As of January 1, IRS shall be dissolved and shall be replaced with a new 21st Century Agency: IRS B US. Children between the ages of 10 and 16 will be issued their IRS B US uniforms at weekend camps where they will be instructed on how to install the IRS B US monitors in their parents and neighbors homes. That is all.

Posted by: USA at May 14, 2013 08:49 AM (VIaw0)

431 "It's all Rush Limbaugh's fault." Actually, used by SCOAMF yesterday.

Posted by: Staff at May 14, 2013 08:49 AM (vJ+mj)

432 "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn." Too truthful?

Posted by: kathysaysso at May 14, 2013 08:49 AM (6H6o8)

433 Some say "The American people elected me to get things done." is getting a little long in the tooth but he's a solid player that always gives good value for the money.

Posted by: JackStraw at May 14, 2013 08:49 AM (g1DWB)

434 "I don't know"

Posted by: J bone her at May 14, 2013 08:49 AM (/b8+5)

435 The Empire of Jeff claims "doesn't look like all those presidents on the dollar bills"  off waivers from Washington.  The doctors assure us that his throwing arm  will be 100% by  the time the season starts. 

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at May 14, 2013 08:49 AM (CJjw5)

436 No time to read 446 + posts.

Is "the American people expect us to focus on jobs"  still available?

Posted by: Occam's floss at May 14, 2013 08:50 AM (Xv7f/)

437 Having picked off Corpseman in the 5th round, I'll consider a trade. He seems lifeless

Posted by: Mike Hammer at May 14, 2013 08:50 AM (aDwsi)

438 I suppose 'I've got a wide stance' is this year's wild card.

Posted by: troyriser at May 14, 2013 08:50 AM (vtiE6)

439 "My parents met marching in Selma."

Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 14, 2013 08:50 AM (lVPtV)

440 "I have asked Vice President Biden to apologize for these actions, undertaken without my knowledge or consent..."

Posted by: Stu-22 at May 14, 2013 08:50 AM (AiYlm)

441 I'll take Michael Moore says something fat and stupid

Posted by: Barack Ovomit at May 14, 2013 08:50 AM (XvrTA)

442 "This President is making unprecedented gains in spite of political headwinds."

Posted by: Adirondack Patriot at May 14, 2013 08:50 AM (iAUf+)

443 "Let me make something perfectly clear"

Posted by: Billy Bob, pseudo intellectal at May 14, 2013 08:50 AM (wR+pz)

444 I can't believe "The private sector is doing fine" is still available.

Posted by: Meghan's McCans at May 14, 2013 08:50 AM (tl7W6)

445 Despite a brutal ACL injury late last season, "Vote like your ladyparts depend on it" is poised for a killer comeback.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorirst) Party Hobbit [/s][/i][/b][/u] at May 14, 2013 08:51 AM (4df7R)

446 "I just learned about it [IRS scandal] in the news, guys."

Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 14, 2013 08:51 AM (lVPtV)

447 3rd round pick- "We must not rush to judgement." Also drafted- "This is a rush to judgement."

Posted by: Staff at May 14, 2013 08:51 AM (vJ+mj)

448 "Under my plan, the Constitution will necessarily be irrelevant."

Posted by: Old Ben Kenobi at May 14, 2013 08:51 AM (Zs83Q)

449 457 The Empire of Jeff claims "doesn't look like all those presidents on the dollar bills" off waivers from Washington. The doctors assure us that his throwing arm will be 100% by the time the season starts. Posted by: Empire of Jeff
_________________________________________________________
QUALITY CLOSER!

Comp:  Mariano Rivera

Posted by: Slapweasel at May 14, 2013 08:51 AM (7gwGw)

450 460 I suppose 'I've got a wide stance' is this year's wild card. Posted by: troyriser at May 14, 2013 12:50 PM (vtiE6) hut, hut, HUT!!!

Posted by: Reggie Love at May 14, 2013 08:51 AM (bl6Iq)

451 429 Cher too late... Bette Midler already said something stupid... But Cher always says something stupid in ALL CAPS. Because ALL CAPS MAKE IT MORE IMPORTANT.

Posted by: BlueStateRebel at May 14, 2013 08:51 AM (7ObY1)

452

"I marched in Selma"  is coming up in the fifth  round.

 

Dibs!

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit at May 14, 2013 08:51 AM (+z4pE)

453 Is President Joe Biden still on the boards ?

Posted by: cu'chulainn at May 14, 2013 08:51 AM (Vk2CC)

454 It was just a consulate in the neighborhood. Obama barely knew it.

Posted by: Lincolntf at May 14, 2013 08:51 AM (ZshNr)

455 "Republican obstructionist"

Posted by: Billy Bob, pseudo intellectal at May 14, 2013 08:52 AM (wR+pz)

456 "The American people have more important issues to worry about"

Posted by: philosoph0123 at May 14, 2013 08:52 AM (w+per)

457 "ALL IS WELL"

Posted by: Jack at May 14, 2013 08:52 AM (tlqmD)

458 "There is a vast right wing conspiracy." Picked up as a walk-on.

Posted by: Staff at May 14, 2013 08:52 AM (vJ+mj)

459 I hear that "Actually, Candy, I did mention that the IRS would be targeting political opponents in my Rose Garden Speech, check the transcript you conveniently have" was a dark horse at the combine.

Posted by: joeindc44 says President Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho 2016 at May 14, 2013 08:52 AM (QxSug)

460 "I will have more flexibility after the election" has been seen stretching in the dressing room.

Posted by: EC at May 14, 2013 08:52 AM (GQ8sn)

461 Don't tell me "Choom Gang" is still available.  That can't be true.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorirst) Party Hobbit [/s][/i][/b][/u] at May 14, 2013 08:52 AM (4df7R)

462 "What difference does it make?"

Posted by: Adirondack Patriot at May 14, 2013 08:52 AM (iAUf+)

463 Regarding Billy Ayers, "He was just a guy in the neighborhood."

Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 14, 2013 08:52 AM (lVPtV)

464 The OIG Investigator in charge will have to be removed from the investigation, he's nearing retirement age and he can no longer think clearly enough to remain objective.

Posted by: yinzer at May 14, 2013 08:52 AM (/Mla1)

465 I know nuthink! Sgt. Schultz obama...

Posted by: hello, it's me Donna at May 14, 2013 08:52 AM (9+ccr)

466 "If you like your doctor, you can keep your doctor."

Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 14, 2013 08:52 AM (lVPtV)

467 Has anybody picked up "This is the operative statement.  The others are inoperative" yet?  He's been riding the pine since '73.

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at May 14, 2013 08:52 AM (zF6Iw)

468 it depends on what your definition of "I am corrupt as fuck" is.

Posted by: Megs McCain, junior goddess in training at May 14, 2013 08:52 AM (XxrWC)

469 Is "we need to get back to the real issue: high capacity magazines" taken yet?

Posted by: Sayyid at May 14, 2013 08:52 AM (jriHC)

470 "It's a one-off"

Posted by: dantesed at May 14, 2013 08:53 AM (vF+kM)

471 "I will go line by line through these  rogue Federal agencies and cut out waste,  fraud,  and abuse."

Posted by: Count de Monet at May 14, 2013 08:53 AM (BAS5M)

472 Carney is now eight minutes late.

Posted by: Miss80sBaby at May 14, 2013 08:53 AM (YjDyJ)

473 "Collectively, we're all guilty...as Americans"

Posted by: Barack Ovomit at May 14, 2013 08:53 AM (XvrTA)

474 with the next selection in the draft, the Obama Admin selects "Those Pesky GOP Driven Sequester Cuts"

Posted by: superflex at May 14, 2013 08:53 AM (m5M1U)

475 I'm grabbing "Let me be clear" as a role player with an early pick. Next pick, I'll go after a DIII gamer, "He was affected by the altitude." If that one pays off, it's icing. If not, it's a low pick...kind of like picking Ace in the "Drinking with the Stars---Starring Liza Minelli."

Posted by: Damon Bailey at May 14, 2013 08:53 AM (rb9de)

476 Some invocation of "Constitutional Law Professor"?  such as:

This must be legal, since Obama was a professor of constitutional law at Chicago...

Posted by: philosoph0123 at May 14, 2013 08:53 AM (w+per)

477 "CHAINS!"

Posted by: Billy Bob, pseudo intellectal at May 14, 2013 08:53 AM (wR+pz)

478 "There is no there, there."

Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 14, 2013 08:53 AM (lVPtV)

479 "It's rush's fault"

Posted by: J bone her at May 14, 2013 08:53 AM (/b8+5)

480 Has anybody picked up "This is the operative statement. The others are inoperative" yet? He's been riding the pine since '73.

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at May 14, 2013 12:52 PM (zF6Iw)

 

He's a bit too intellectual for the    modern league the way its constructed.   Operative?  Inoperative?   He'd just sail right over the heads of his fellow players.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorirst) Party Hobbit [/s][/i][/b][/u] at May 14, 2013 08:54 AM (4df7R)

481 "My administration took unprecedented action!"

Posted by: Cheri at May 14, 2013 08:54 AM (G+Wff)

482 "Republican obstructionist" Posted by: Billy Bob, pseudo intellectal
_____________________________________________________________
That's the true back-stop with great offensive upside.

Comp: Carlos Santana

Posted by: Slapweasel at May 14, 2013 08:54 AM (7gwGw)

483 I guess I'll just go with "Need to Focus on What's Really Important To The American People Right Now" to plug a hole.

Posted by: Burn the Witch at May 14, 2013 08:54 AM (NcPjb)

484 Is "All I Did Was Make a Crappy YouTube Video" still available?

Posted by: Stu-22 at May 14, 2013 08:54 AM (AiYlm)

485 Forty-five minutes to draft five hundred Obama excuses. Is that faster than they can come up with them?

Posted by: t-bird at May 14, 2013 08:54 AM (FcR7P)

486 How about right-wing double standards?

Posted by: philosoph0123 at May 14, 2013 08:54 AM (w+per)

487 "Pass this bill, now". Remember that one?

Posted by: dantesed at May 14, 2013 08:54 AM (vF+kM)

488 I'll take, "Now I have to get back to work for the American people."

After all, if you pesky Republicans didn't keep distracting The Lightbringer he was going to reduce unemployment down to 2% this week.  Now he won't be able to do that and it is all the fault of Republicans.

Posted by: Obnoxious A-hole at May 14, 2013 08:55 AM (31Nrp)

489    I Heart The IRS-midler

Posted by: willow at May 14, 2013 08:55 AM (nqBYe)

490 I'd like to trade "eat your peas" for "This is a direct result of the un-American Citizen's United decision."

Posted by: BlueStateRebel at May 14, 2013 08:55 AM (7ObY1)

491 Carney is now eight minutes late.

Posted by: Miss80sBaby at May 14, 2013 12:53 PM (YjDyJ)

 

 

What's the over/under that he's backstage stuffing his gob with Haagen-Daaz and crying about how the other kids make fun of his glasses?

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorirst) Party Hobbit [/s][/i][/b][/u] at May 14, 2013 08:55 AM (4df7R)

492 I'm guessing 28 US 7801(a)(1) (D) is going to have to take its chances in free agency:

"Removal  The Commissioner [of the Internal Revenue Service] may be removed at the will of the President."

Posted by: Occam's floss at May 14, 2013 08:55 AM (Xv7f/)

493 Can't wait for Carney.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 14, 2013 08:55 AM (lVPtV)

494 None of these address women's health issues.

Posted by: jwb7605 ([i][u]Let it Burn[/u][/i])[/s][/b] at May 14, 2013 08:55 AM (Qxe/p)

495 Illegal Wars- obama style

Posted by: willow at May 14, 2013 08:55 AM (nqBYe)

496 I won't standby as these heroes are made into political footballs by Republicans. I've said all I'm going to say.

Posted by: Lincolntf at May 14, 2013 08:55 AM (ZshNr)

497 Let's talk about a package deal: I'll trade "We Didn't Do It", "It Wasn't That Bad" and "Republicans Do It Too" with anyone who took "Reset".

Posted by: Mr. Dave at May 14, 2013 08:55 AM (Lx80A)

498 Maybe you should be guessing which is the next agency to get caught up in all of this?

Posted by: J bone her at May 14, 2013 08:56 AM (/b8+5)

499 The IRS is now on double secret probation

Posted by: Barry at May 14, 2013 08:56 AM (SO2Q8)

500 Has nobody taken "This was an isolated incident" yet?

Posted by: taylork at May 14, 2013 08:56 AM (ppNDn)

501 Let's not forget the call to Sandra Fluke, because Rush was mean.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 14, 2013 08:56 AM (lVPtV)

502 "Carney is now eight minutes late." There must be a player we've all overlooked.

Posted by: Burn the Witch at May 14, 2013 08:56 AM (NcPjb)

503 Ha! Got 'Punished With a Baby' in the sixth round!

Posted by: Mike Hammer at May 14, 2013 08:56 AM (aDwsi)

504 I think we need to pass the articles of impeachment to know what is in them.

Posted by: cu'chulainn at May 14, 2013 08:56 AM (Vk2CC)

505 524 Maybe you should be guessing which is the next agency to get caught up in all of this? Posted by: J bone her at May 14, 2013 12:56 PM (/b8+5) My monies on the EPA...

Posted by: hello, it's me Donna at May 14, 2013 08:56 AM (9+ccr)

506 I AM THE LAW

Posted by: Judge Barry at May 14, 2013 08:56 AM (SO2Q8)

507 Late round dark horse: "Michelle, is pregnant and we could be happier."

Posted by: Staff at May 14, 2013 08:56 AM (vJ+mj)

508 My line up: "rouge investigator run amok" "there are some who say [insert something here that nobody says]"? "V e r a...... B a k e r" "Distraction" "Important Work to Do" team captain "racist" coached by ""No Controlling Legal Authority""

Posted by: joeindc44 says President Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho 2016 at May 14, 2013 08:57 AM (QxSug)

509 "90%"

Posted by: Billy Bob, pseudo intellectal at May 14, 2013 08:57 AM (wR+pz)

510

Partisan gridlock in Congress?

Posted by: yinzer at May 14, 2013 08:57 AM (/Mla1)

511 "This is a war on the middle class."

Posted by: WalrusRex at May 14, 2013 08:57 AM (Hx5uv)

512 Has anyone grabbed 'This country wants to move beyond these kinds of things' ?

Posted by: Mike Hammer at May 14, 2013 08:57 AM (aDwsi)

513 457The Empire of Jeff claims "doesn't look like all those presidents on the dollar bills" off waivers from Washington. The doctors assure us that his throwing arm will be 100% by the time the season starts.

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at May 14, 2013 12:49 PM (CJjw5)

I just snatched up his brother "has a funny sounding name". 

Posted by: Heralder at May 14, 2013 08:57 AM (+xmn4)

514 "Extreme voices, preaching policies of racial and economic division..."

Posted by: Stu-22 at May 14, 2013 08:57 AM (AiYlm)

515  Carney is behind the screen, using  a 'breathalyzer' to calm down
and maybe some ludes , xanax, or a morphine drip.

Posted by: willow at May 14, 2013 08:57 AM (nqBYe)

516 "Rush Limbaugh!"

Posted by: Billy Bob, pseudo intellectal at May 14, 2013 08:57 AM (wR+pz)

517 "The misguided policies of the Bush administration..."

Posted by: Stu-22 at May 14, 2013 08:57 AM (AiYlm)

518 "NRA"

Posted by: Billy Bob, pseudo intellectal at May 14, 2013 08:58 AM (wR+pz)

519 I'll take "kinetic military operations" to replace "no boots on the     ground" at punter.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorirst) Party Hobbit [/s][/i][/b][/u] at May 14, 2013 08:58 AM (4df7R)

520 Nancy Pelosi. She didn't show up at the camps so this is the only way to find out how good she is.

Posted by: t-bird at May 14, 2013 08:58 AM (FcR7P)

521 Gay Immigrants are suffering while y'all are wasting time on partisan bickering

Posted by: Barack Ovomit at May 14, 2013 08:58 AM (XvrTA)

522 Ha! Got 'Punished With a Baby' in the sixth round!
Posted by: Mike Hammer
_______________________________________________________

Pure power.  Great contact. 

Comp:  Prince Fielder

Posted by: Slapweasel at May 14, 2013 08:58 AM (7gwGw)

523 What's all this talk about me being unemployment insurance?

Posted by: Joey Biden at May 14, 2013 08:58 AM (jucos)

524 "Above my pay grade." 

Is it still free? 

Posted by: Lady in Black (I haven't read all the comments yet, but....) at May 14, 2013 08:58 AM (ovWeo)

525 The IRS acted stupidly, there was no controlling legal authority for the AP wiretaps and Benghazi was inherited from the last Administration.

Posted by: Lincolntf at May 14, 2013 08:58 AM (ZshNr)

526 10%ers

Posted by: willow at May 14, 2013 08:58 AM (nqBYe)

527 "We are our brothers' keepers."  (Bro lives in a shack in Kenya, Auntie Zeituni and drunkle live on our dime in MA.)

Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 14, 2013 08:58 AM (lVPtV)

528 Romney caused the problem in Benghazi because he jumped the gun or something...

Posted by: hello, it's me Donna at May 14, 2013 08:58 AM (9+ccr)

529 "This is a direct result of the un-American Citizen's United decision." Posted by: BlueStateRebel at May 14, 2013 12:55 PM (7ObY1) Are you kidding me? Nancy Pelosi has already expressed interest in him yesterday. You don't want to start a feud with her.

Posted by: Burn the Witch at May 14, 2013 08:58 AM (NcPjb)

530 "I did not have sexual relations with that woman".


Posted by: Occam's floss at May 14, 2013 08:59 AM (Xv7f/)

531 "Michelle, is pregnant and we could be happier." Posted by: Staff at May 14, 2013 12:56 PM (vJ+mj) If we only knew the dad.

Posted by: Billy Bob, pseudo intellectal at May 14, 2013 08:59 AM (wR+pz)

532 I forgot about special teams, will "kinetic military operations" be the distraction unit this time around? Who will Obama bomb next to show he's Mr. Gutsy Call?

Posted by: joeindc44 says President Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho 2016 at May 14, 2013 08:59 AM (QxSug)

533

The Empire of Jeff claims "doesn't look like all those presidents on the
dollar bills" off waivers from Washington. The doctors assure us that
his throwing arm will be 100% by the time the season starts.


Posted by: Empire of Jeff

 

Too late.  I claimed that at 433
_________________________________________________________

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at May 14, 2013 08:59 AM (zF6Iw)

534 543 Carney is behind the screen, using a 'breathalyzer' to calm down
and maybe some ludes , xanax, or a morphine drip.
Posted by: willow

A self-administered ball peen hammer is more likely.

Posted by: pep at May 14, 2013 08:59 AM (6TB1Z)

535 Has anyone grabbed- "We must get back to the people's business." cuz Dibs!

Posted by: Staff at May 14, 2013 08:59 AM (vJ+mj)

536 So what are the chances Jay Carney suddenly resigns (like, in the next 10 minutes) rather than face the reporters?

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at May 14, 2013 08:59 AM (/PCJa)

537 It's all about sex.

Posted by: BignJames at May 14, 2013 08:59 AM (Sg0G/)

538 "Seven of Nine"

(Worked once.)

Posted by: Barely Odrama at May 14, 2013 09:00 AM (Xv7f/)

539 Posted by: Staff at May 14, 2013 12:56 PM (vJ+mj) If we only knew the dad. mmmmm, mmmmm, mmm

Posted by: Reggie Love at May 14, 2013 09:00 AM (bl6Iq)

540 Who will Obama bomb next to show he's Mr. Gutsy Call?



He's got Marines on standby to go into Libya.  *seethes*

Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 14, 2013 09:00 AM (lVPtV)

541 We start bombing in 5 minutes...

Posted by: Lincolntf at May 14, 2013 09:00 AM (ZshNr)

542 Carney is now fifteen minutes late.

Posted by: Miss80sBaby at May 14, 2013 09:00 AM (YjDyJ)

543 "We are our brothers' keepers." (Bro lives in a shack in Kenya, Auntie Zeituni and drunkle live on our dime in MA.)
Posted by: Jane D'oh
_____________________________________________________
Sneaky speed with great On-Base Percentage!

Comp:  Shin-Soo Choo

Posted by: Slapweasel at May 14, 2013 09:00 AM (7gwGw)

544 If things get bad enough, "World wide Jewish conspiracy."

Posted by: WalrusRex at May 14, 2013 09:00 AM (Hx5uv)

545 I cannot tell you how much this thread brightened my day! 

I don't see anyone drafting: "This is just a Republican diversion from the issues that matter to average Americans!"

Posted by: Nate in New Orleans at May 14, 2013 09:00 AM (lhX9P)

546 Winner in the lottery of life

Posted by: Mike Hammer at May 14, 2013 09:01 AM (aDwsi)

547 574 Carney is now fifteen minutes late. Posted by: Miss80sBaby at May 14, 2013 01:00 PM (YjDyJ) He's probably going over our talking points...

Posted by: hello, it's me Donna at May 14, 2013 09:01 AM (9+ccr)

548

Carney is now fifteen minutes late.

 

I'm telling you, he's furiously scribbling his resignation letter.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at May 14, 2013 09:01 AM (/PCJa)

549 Is 'all wee wee'd up' taken?

Posted by: Jinx the Cat at May 14, 2013 09:01 AM (l3vZN)

550 Carney, "Please don't make me go out there"

Posted by: willow at May 14, 2013 09:01 AM (nqBYe)

551 I'll take "I'd like to give a shout out to..." for long snapper.

Posted by: yinzer at May 14, 2013 09:01 AM (/Mla1)

552 Three letter word....JOBS

Posted by: BignJames at May 14, 2013 09:01 AM (Sg0G/)

553 "I read about it in the newspaper just like you!"

Posted by: Cobblercreator at May 14, 2013 09:01 AM (+OJbE)

554 "I went to bed"

Posted by: J bone her at May 14, 2013 09:01 AM (/b8+5)

555 Man, rosters are getting awfully full! A lot of veterans like "The Definition Of Is" are going to have to dig deep at training camp.

Posted by: t-bird at May 14, 2013 09:01 AM (FcR7P)

556 Seriously, those off-the-field feuds with Nancy Pelosi are just the sorts of controversies this league doesn't need right now.

Posted by: Burn the Witch at May 14, 2013 09:01 AM (NcPjb)

557

"Michelle, is pregnant and we could be happier."





Posted by: Staff at May 14, 2013 12:56 PM (vJ+mj)

 

If we only knew the dad.

 

Posted by: Billy Bob, pseudo intellectal at May 14, 2013 12:59 PM (wR+pz)

 

Chaz Bono.

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at May 14, 2013 09:01 AM (zF6Iw)

558 Heh.  Megyn Kelly saying "this is a totally different press corps today."

What if Carney is late because he's being read his rights?  *wishes*

Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 14, 2013 09:02 AM (lVPtV)

559 "The Koch  brothers are behind all of these distractions."

Posted by: Count de Monet at May 14, 2013 09:02 AM (BAS5M)

560 Carney is now fifteen minutes late.
Posted by: Miss80sBaby at May 14, 2013 01:00 PM (YjDyJ)

----

Remember that scene in "Any Given Sunday" where Jamie Fox pukes out his guts before taking the field????

Carney's head is in the can....

Posted by: fixerupper at May 14, 2013 09:02 AM (nELVU)

561 "I invoke my fifth amendment rights"

Posted by: J bone her at May 14, 2013 09:03 AM (/b8+5)

562

Heh. Megyn Kelly saying "this is a totally different press corps today."

 

I'll believe it when I hear the questions.  Or, rather, when one of the Morons (or Ettes) reports the questions and that there was serious follow-up.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at May 14, 2013 09:03 AM (/PCJa)

563 Has "Hey, guys, we're trying to order shrimp here." been taken?

Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 14, 2013 09:03 AM (lVPtV)

564 The people have spoken with their mandate and I need to do the peoples work. It's a partisan witch hunt...

Posted by: hello, it's me Donna at May 14, 2013 09:03 AM (9+ccr)

565 "The science is settled"

Posted by: Billy Bob, pseudo intellectal at May 14, 2013 09:03 AM (wR+pz)

566 "just a politically motivated “side show.” .....nothing to see here...

Posted by: RightOne40 at May 14, 2013 09:03 AM (8QW0x)

567 I'm trading my backup, Ultimately I'm Responsible, for a free agent, I Never Promised In The Rose Garden.

Posted by: Fritz at May 14, 2013 09:03 AM (UzPAd)

568 "At some point, you've made enough money."

Posted by: BignJames at May 14, 2013 09:03 AM (Sg0G/)

569 582 Carney, "Please don't make me go out there"
Posted by: willow

He probably looks like that incontinent guy in line with Russell Crowe in Gladiator, just before they go out into the arena to be slaughtered. 

Posted by: pep at May 14, 2013 09:03 AM (6TB1Z)

570

Ladies and gentlemen, l'll be brief.


The issue here is not whether we broke a few laws or...took a few liberties with our female party members.

We did.

But you can't hold a whole administration responsible for the behaviour of a few sick, perverted individuals.

If you do...shouldn't we blame the whole Justice Department?

And if the whole Justice Department is guilty...then isn't this an indictment of our democratic institutions in general?

(Democrats cheering)

I put it to you, Ace.

Isn't this an indictment of our entire American society?

Well...you can do what you want to us...but we won't sit here...and listen to you badmouth the United States of America!

Posted by: Otter at May 14, 2013 09:03 AM (SO2Q8)

571 I'm looking at "Follow The Money" and "Open Up The Whole Bay Of Pigs Thing" as dark horses for the new season, myself.

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at May 14, 2013 09:03 AM (zF6Iw)

572 Where can you watch Carney and company?

Posted by: J bone her at May 14, 2013 09:03 AM (/b8+5)

573 I can't believe that "Jedi Mind Meld" is still on the board

Posted by: AltonJackson@work at May 14, 2013 09:04 AM (1EUmb)

574 white folks' greed runs a world in need

Posted by: willow at May 14, 2013 09:04 AM (nqBYe)

575 573 We start bombing in 5 minutes...

Totally.  If I was North Korea, Syria or Iran I'd be getting really nervous right now.  Maybe Kim Dum Dood is following US politics closer than we give him credit for. 

Isn't a diversion from politics part of why we got involved in Yugoslavia?

Posted by: Nate in New Orleans at May 14, 2013 09:04 AM (lhX9P)

576 Starting tomorrow, every household in America will receive a $50 gift card for Panera and free tickets to Barnum&Bailey's Greatest Show on Earth!

Posted by: Lincolntf at May 14, 2013 09:04 AM (ZshNr)

577 What if Carney is late because he's being read his rights? *wishes*
Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 14, 2013 01:02 PM

Last rites.

Posted by: LC LaWedgie at May 14, 2013 09:04 AM (krHnX)

578 Whoa whoa.   No one's taken "ipod of speeches for the queen" yet?    Or "Maldives" either!?!?!   Those are QUALITY players!

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorirst) Party Hobbit [/s][/i][/b][/u] at May 14, 2013 09:04 AM (4df7R)

579 Just announced coming out for this year's draft.....

"President Crowe and the Board of Regents will soon learn all about being audited by the IRS."

Posted by: Shecky Obama at May 14, 2013 09:04 AM (Xv7f/)

580 Did bagdad bob declare?

Posted by: Agintexas at May 14, 2013 09:04 AM (yDr5/)

581 Did anyone draft "Alligator Tears"?

Posted by: Nate in New Orleans at May 14, 2013 09:05 AM (lhX9P)

582 "Do you have any dijon mustard?"  Is that still available?

Posted by: dantesed at May 14, 2013 09:05 AM (vF+kM)

583 Barack won't let you go back to your life as usualÂ…

Posted by: willow at May 14, 2013 09:05 AM (nqBYe)

584 If we only knew the dad.

Mr. T. Baster is aware and tells CBS, "I'm good at my work."

Posted by: HeatherRadish™ braucht ein Bier at May 14, 2013 09:05 AM (ZKzrr)

585 @603

And just like Sonny Jurgenson, the crusty old veteran comes out and wins the whole thing.

Posted by: pep at May 14, 2013 09:05 AM (6TB1Z)

586 @397:

Some day, I will learn.....

Posted by: Tex Lovera at May 14, 2013 09:05 AM (wtvvX)

587 I know he only played one game, but anybody who puts up 300+ yards in one game deserves another chance, even if he did take a dump in the endzone. I'll take "Joe Biden conducts presser and just laughs at every question" to round out my roster.

Posted by: Burn the Witch at May 14, 2013 09:05 AM (NcPjb)

588
..... Im signing "typical white person" as a special teams specialist.

Posted by: fixerupper at May 14, 2013 09:05 AM (nELVU)

589 Any mention of "Punished with a baby" yet? I want that one if not.....

Posted by: Kermit Gosnell at May 14, 2013 09:05 AM (jucos)

590 Legalizing Marijuana in 3...2...

Posted by: Nate in New Orleans at May 14, 2013 09:05 AM (lhX9P)

591 "We're going to fundamentally change this country."

Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 14, 2013 09:06 AM (lVPtV)

592 the coming coverup will start with some silly little thing in the Balkans.

Posted by: Otto von Bismarck at May 14, 2013 09:06 AM (l3vZN)

593 Oh, jeez, I just got a call from "No Impeachable Offense."  He's looking to make a comeback.  I think his knees are pretty good, but is the batting power there?

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at May 14, 2013 09:06 AM (zF6Iw)

594 I'm putting my money on "I am not a crook".

Posted by: Bitter Clinger and All That at May 14, 2013 09:06 AM (yKGCL)

595 The league is going to have to announce an expansion to 57 federal agencies to accommodate all these players. There's also unprecedented attention being focus on this year's Mr. Number Of The Beast, who's coming up soon.

Posted by: t-bird at May 14, 2013 09:07 AM (FcR7P)

596

Due to the dangerous actions of the media i've been forced to declare martial law and disband the press.

Questions...?

Posted by: BArack I at May 14, 2013 09:07 AM (SO2Q8)

597 605 Where can you watch Carney and company?

http://c-span.org/

Posted by: Miss80sBaby at May 14, 2013 09:07 AM (YjDyJ)

598 I'll take "Joe Biden conducts presser and just laughs at every question" to round out my roster. Posted by: Burn the Witch

And then plays with his feces.  Don't forget the feces.

Posted by: pep at May 14, 2013 09:07 AM (6TB1Z)

599 So the circus hasn't started with carney yet ?

Posted by: hello, it's me Donna at May 14, 2013 09:07 AM (9+ccr)

600 "Quick, book me on an international trip.  I don't care where, just get me out of the country.  Let's stopover in Hawaii first  so the press can get more pics of my burnished pecs coming  out of the surf."

Posted by: Count de Monet at May 14, 2013 09:07 AM (BAS5M)

601 If anybody's looking for a serviceable QB, "the audacity of hope," Sr. (from Jeremiah Wright's sermon) is still available.  I'm pretty sure his son "The Audacity of Hope" (the memoir ghostwritten by Bill   Ayers) was already drafted by Cleveland.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorirst) Party Hobbit [/s][/i][/b][/u] at May 14, 2013 09:07 AM (4df7R)

602 Healing our broken souls

Posted by: willow at May 14, 2013 09:07 AM (nqBYe)

603 A draft entry from the great beyond....

“If Obama was a white man, he would not be in this position. And if he was a woman of any color, he would not be in this position. He happens to be very lucky to be who he is. And the country is caught up in the concept.”

Posted by: Zombie Geraldine Ferraro at May 14, 2013 09:08 AM (Xv7f/)

604 For the first time I'm proud of My country

Posted by: willow at May 14, 2013 09:08 AM (nqBYe)

605 "Crunchy  Figs" is still available? Oh well, it's getting late.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit at May 14, 2013 09:08 AM (+z4pE)

606 "You didn't build that" I would think that would be gone by now.

Posted by: Billy Bob, pseudo intellectal at May 14, 2013 09:08 AM (wR+pz)

607 "I invoke my fifth amendment rights" Taken at #9. G. Gordon Liddy will be by shortly to burn your house down and shoot your cat.

Posted by: Additional Blond Agent at May 14, 2013 09:08 AM (PMGbu)

608 Heal the planet.

Posted by: BignJames at May 14, 2013 09:08 AM (Sg0G/)

609 Carney speaking now.

Posted by: Miss80sBaby at May 14, 2013 09:08 AM (YjDyJ)

610 Bill Ayers and "what would you have done?" Just as trade bait.

Posted by: t-bird at May 14, 2013 09:09 AM (FcR7P)

611 "The day the oceans began to recede."

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorirst) Party Hobbit [/s][/i][/b][/u] at May 14, 2013 09:09 AM (4df7R)

612 Is guilty as sin... free as a bird... taken yet?

Posted by: hello, it's me Donna at May 14, 2013 09:09 AM (9+ccr)

613 "Birthers!  All of you..."  (And a quip to be named later.)

Posted by: Robert Gibbs (The fat ugly Bee Gee) at May 14, 2013 09:09 AM (Xv7f/)

614 Nobody picked "Hateful distortions"?

Posted by: Nate in New Orleans at May 14, 2013 09:09 AM (lhX9P)

615 responsibility to set tone is the responsibility as President and he' does that everyday. Carney

Posted by: willow at May 14, 2013 09:09 AM (nqBYe)

616 "Dangerously Close To Advocacy"

Posted by: t-bird at May 14, 2013 09:09 AM (FcR7P)

617
......  Ok.... I'm inviting "I'm the one we've all been waiting for" to training camp, but Im not offering a contract yet.

If he shows up with Styrofoam Greek columns..... I'm cutting him on the first day.

Posted by: fixerupper at May 14, 2013 09:10 AM (nELVU)

618

"My white grandmother was racist...no...um...Bill Clinton is a racist...uh, what? that's irrelevant? Uh...my teleprompter is broken - I don't know what to say... oh wait...its back up. Its those angry old white xenophobic right wing gun-clinging religious zealot racist Teabagg...uh...Tea Party organizations....uh...well it doesn't matter -

ITS BUSH'S FAULT!!!! I HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH IT!!! (Hillary, do me a favor and lay down in front of the bus - don't worry, it won't hurt much, or for long).

Posted by: Putins Puppet Barry at May 14, 2013 09:10 AM (qk792)

619 I will spend the rest of my days searching for the real President who committed these terrible crimes.

Posted by: Lincolntf at May 14, 2013 09:10 AM (ZshNr)

620 no tolerance for targeting of specif groups.. get in their Faces!

ok not the last part

Posted by: willow at May 14, 2013 09:10 AM (nqBYe)

621 "I killed Bin Laden"

Posted by: Jack at May 14, 2013 09:10 AM (tlqmD)

622 We're the ones we've been waiting for.

Posted by: BignJames at May 14, 2013 09:10 AM (Sg0G/)

623 "Distractions" and "Laser like focus on jobs".

Posted by: ConservativeMonster at May 14, 2013 09:10 AM (sGtp+)

624 "We're the people you have been waiting for"

Posted by: Billy Bob, pseudo intellectal at May 14, 2013 09:10 AM (wR+pz)

625 My line coach is "misguided sense of patriotism".

Posted by: jwb7605 ([i][u]Let it Burn[/u][/i])[/s][/b] at May 14, 2013 09:10 AM (Qxe/p)

626 I can't believe it. Carney is getting "Indpendent agency" on the field right at the start of the game. What a great draft I had.

Posted by: JackStraw at May 14, 2013 09:11 AM (g1DWB)

627 "A random act of journalism"

Posted by: rrrrrush at May 14, 2013 09:11 AM (/b8+5)

628 "as a black man, you know, Barack can get shot goin' to the gas station."

Posted by: Mooshelle (Hmmm come to think of it) at May 14, 2013 09:11 AM (Xv7f/)

629 @658 Great minds work alike

Posted by: Billy Bob, pseudo intellectal at May 14, 2013 09:11 AM (wR+pz)

630 the presidents responsibility is to set the tone and he does it everyday.? No he didn't say that? I mean really ?

Posted by: hello, it's me Donna at May 14, 2013 09:11 AM (9+ccr)

631 How about "We Inhaled Frequently, - That Was The Point" for "I Want To Give A Shout Out" and a 2nd round pick in the future?

Posted by: Fritz at May 14, 2013 09:11 AM (UzPAd)

632 President is a strong defender of the 1st amendment HAHAHA

Posted by: willow at May 14, 2013 09:11 AM (nqBYe)

633 "we got 'em"

Posted by: yinzer at May 14, 2013 09:11 AM (/Mla1)

634 Donna yes.

Posted by: willow at May 14, 2013 09:12 AM (nqBYe)

635 "I, me, mine" Triple threat at the offensive.

Posted by: Pecan Scandi at May 14, 2013 09:12 AM (NQdDJ)

636 This is absolutely the deepest draft I've seen in decades.  I can't see anyone having to reach in the first four rounds!

Posted by: Mel Kiiper, Jr. at May 14, 2013 09:12 AM (+iA5G)

637 Actually what about doubling down on it?  "The tea party groups deserved the extra scrutiny."

Posted by: Nate in New Orleans at May 14, 2013 09:12 AM (lhX9P)

638 I hear that the O's just called up the veteran pitcher "Bitch Set Me Up" from their D.C. farm team.

Posted by: Stu-22 at May 14, 2013 09:12 AM (AiYlm)

639 "It's shake and bake and we helped!"

Posted by: bill/hill at May 14, 2013 09:13 AM (/b8+5)

640 Dark horse. "Can't we all just get along"

Posted by: Billy Bob, pseudo intellectal at May 14, 2013 09:13 AM (wR+pz)

641 "I didn't inhale"  is limbering up.  Still has legs.

Posted by: Count de Monet at May 14, 2013 09:13 AM (BAS5M)

642 what we have to do responsibly is wait for independant report

Posted by: willow at May 14, 2013 09:13 AM (nqBYe)

643 Willow... wow just wow... what universe are they living in?

Posted by: hello, it's me Donna at May 14, 2013 09:13 AM (9+ccr)

644 Someone needs to tell Stalin what's going on here! Stalin will save us.

Posted by: Ukrainian Peasant Woman at May 14, 2013 09:14 AM (l3vZN)

645 Sure "independant" report... Just like the piece of crap report on Benghazi... That will really work...

Posted by: hello, it's me Donna at May 14, 2013 09:15 AM (9+ccr)

646 Carney to stutter.

Posted by: Billy Bob, pseudo intellectal at May 14, 2013 09:15 AM (wR+pz)

647 In other words, we don't have a fucking clue what our administration does. We know our tee times, what else to we need to know?

Posted by: Billy Bob, pseudo intellectal at May 14, 2013 09:16 AM (wR+pz)

648 Being a traditionalist, I'll just go with the tried and true "It's Bush's fault!"

Posted by: West at May 14, 2013 09:17 AM (1Rgee)

649 I'll take "obstructionist Congress" and "right-wing extremists" to be named later.

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at May 14, 2013 09:17 AM (zF6Iw)

650 Star for last four years, 'Let me be clear', is showing some signs of wear. Some are blaming it on teleprompter addiction, but those are only rumors. Nothing proven.

Posted by: troyriser at May 14, 2013 09:18 AM (vtiE6)

651 The IRS is "Independent Agency". What bullshit.  Gut check time for whether any reporters have done their homework.

To find out what an "independent agency" is Whitehouse.gov sends you over to usa.gov

Usa.gov has a list of the independent agencies. 

The IRS is not on the federal government's own list of "independent agencies".

An independent agency is one that is not headed by a Cabinet member and is one over which the President has limited authority to replace the boss.

Neither applies to the IRS.  The IRS is in the Treasury Department and the President has complete authority to replace the IRS Commissioner at any time for any reason or for no reason.  28 US 7803(a)(1)(D).

Posted by: Jerneelist at May 14, 2013 09:18 AM (Xv7f/)

652 Wait, how is this guy still on the boards?

"We'll never know what really happened."

Posted by: Nate in New Orleans at May 14, 2013 09:19 AM (lhX9P)

653 Has "right wing noise machine" come out of retirement?

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at May 14, 2013 09:20 AM (zF6Iw)

654 Wait, do you suppose he's like Anchorman?  He'll read anything you put on the teleprompter. 

Posted by: Nate in New Orleans at May 14, 2013 09:20 AM (lhX9P)

655 Wait, do you suppose he's like Anchorman? He'll read anything you put on the teleprompter. Posted by: Nate in New Orleans at May 14, 2013 01:20 PM Period. Full Stop.

Posted by: AltonJackson@work at May 14, 2013 09:21 AM (1EUmb)

656

"I stand behind him a thousand percent."

Posted by: George McGovern at May 14, 2013 09:22 AM (khZbv)

657 Independent Agencies of the federal government.

http://www.usa.gov/Agencies/Federal/Independent.shtml

Posted by: Jerneelist at May 14, 2013 09:23 AM (Xv7f/)

658 Two new threads up.

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at May 14, 2013 09:24 AM (zF6Iw)

659 It was a Bush appointee

Posted by: Haiku Guy at May 14, 2013 09:26 AM (wKFky)

660 Jay Carney shoves lightning rod up his a&& and looks to the skies for deliverance. 

Posted by: Bufalobob at May 14, 2013 09:41 AM (bxn1D)

661 I'm looking forward to weekly (un)presidential temper tantrums. I'm also beginning to wonder if the likes of Bill Ayers, George Soros and the Clintons are beginning to think about taking President Fredo fishing.

Posted by: Northernlurker at May 14, 2013 09:50 AM (dPNEz)

662 We had to burn the ville (i.e. Constitution) to save it.

Posted by: @PurpAv at May 14, 2013 09:56 AM (4ckfP)

663 I can see "I need to get back to doing the work the American people hired/elected me to do" coming out retirement. That would be a distinctly different player than "distractions", but they are, of course, first cousins.

Posted by: Rufus T. Firefly at May 14, 2013 09:59 AM (PwV7G)

664 "this is all the fault of corporate jet owners NOT PAYING THEIR FAIR SHARE"

Has surprisingly had an embarrassing green room stay on draft day...

Posted by: Chariots of Toast at May 14, 2013 10:10 AM (LO3HN)

665 Dammit ctrl-F keeps showing that the low-hanging fruit has been snapped up. I'll have to go obscure and take a chance on a community college excuse.

Posted by: toby928 at May 14, 2013 10:18 AM (evdj2)

666 "Vacation"

Posted by: toby928 at May 14, 2013 10:19 AM (evdj2)

667 dammit, taken at 135

Posted by: toby928 at May 14, 2013 10:19 AM (evdj2)

668 "Unprecedented" succeeded as a 'walk-on' having failed to be drafted.

Posted by: P. Aaron at May 14, 2013 10:28 AM (AUMNX)

669 If Move On hasn't been taken yet, I want it. That sucker has endurance and managed to keep Slick Willie's dick out of the shredder, though it didn't do much to keep it out of other places.

Posted by: Miss Scarlett with a GUN!! at May 14, 2013 10:31 AM (xDlyw)

670

Wait "That statement is no longer operative." lasted until nearly 500 picks!?

 

I remember when it was a contendah!!  A CONTENDAH!!

Posted by: Ray Van Dune at May 14, 2013 10:34 AM (fb100)

671 Not going to read all of these but if "Now is not the time for this Washington petiness, North Korea (or Syria) just launched their weapons at us (or Israel)" has not been taken - I'm laying claim!

Posted by: Astronaut Achmed at May 14, 2013 10:45 AM (YLZSZ)

672

So late to this thread!  You guys are funneh!

 

I have to go with "If you love me, pass this by!"  Nothing to see here folks, keep on walking!

Posted by: runningrn at May 14, 2013 10:53 AM (PLOz8)

673 Modified Limited Hangout @ #1 was perfectly Nixonian and appropriate.

Posted by: toby928 at May 14, 2013 10:54 AM (evdj2)

674 Is "the CHICKENS...have come HOME.... to roost" still on the board?

Posted by: Midaz at May 14, 2013 11:06 AM (f2FvF)

675

Since I didn't see this one in the first 500 comments I read, and I need to go get my lottery tickets; how's this one:  "Republicans' War on Women".

Also, "Restart Button".

Posted by: Yuman at May 14, 2013 11:07 AM (zWnke)

676 Can't we all just get along?

Posted by: Barely Odrama at May 14, 2013 11:09 AM (u3N3z)

677 "Resist.  We much?"

Posted by: Barely Odrama at May 14, 2013 11:10 AM (u3N3z)

678 "FORWARD!"  (With new and NYT Duranty-approved Commie type face)

Posted by: Barely Odrama at May 14, 2013 11:14 AM (u3N3z)

679 If "You didn't build that..." is on the board I'll take him.  Its kind of the Mr. Irrelevant pick but ...meh

Posted by: Tfox at May 14, 2013 11:21 AM (DVC2D)

680 I'll take "Mistakes were Made".  His Daddy played for the Clintons in the 1990s, but this kid is supposed to have a little more speed, albeit with less power.

Posted by: Exceptionally Mediocre at May 14, 2013 11:40 AM (ZKGJl)

681 The "scandal of the day" is a "fluid" situation.

Posted by: ChristyBlinky, Sarcastic and Radicalized Redneck Queen at May 14, 2013 12:13 PM (baL2B)

682

Is this undrafted???

"The notion that somehow (Bill Ayres) has been involved in my campaign is...simply to try to score cheap political points."

Posted by: connertown at May 14, 2013 12:25 PM (3+eat)

683

Kind of a downer, but I offer "While the right-wing extremists were luxuriating in the free-for-all, sweeping immigration reforms became the law of the land." Even their own crises may not go to waste.

Posted by: What'soverthere? at May 14, 2013 12:32 PM (kmd7o)

684 Damn. "Mistakes were made" is taken. I'll have to hope that the ressurect the classic" Can't you guys just let me finish my waffles?"

Posted by: Max Entropy at May 14, 2013 12:50 PM (PCWtm)

685 "It depends of what the definition of is is." It's a long shot but I'm a sucker for the classics".

Posted by: Max Entropy at May 14, 2013 12:53 PM (PCWtm)

686 I'm putting "I have absolutely no idea how those FBI files appeared in the map room" on retainer for a future worse-case president scenario"

Posted by: Max Entropy at May 14, 2013 01:02 PM (PCWtm)

687 This one's played so much, it might be retired but bust out another round of cortisone for: "Make no mistake about it, Bin Laden is dead. D E D dead."

Posted by: Max Entropy at May 14, 2013 01:08 PM (PCWtm)

688

Anybody got "We can't have special interests sitting shotgun"?  Old and lame but the word 'shotgun' might serve to distract during a crucial play.

Posted by: Bluey Raisin at May 14, 2013 02:11 PM (VevTp)

689

I know this thread is long dead but here is my pick:

 

This is a nothingburger scandal drummed up by Republican operatives at Fox News.

Posted by: Decaf at May 14, 2013 02:36 PM (z+Ems)

690 I am not a crook.

Posted by: km at May 14, 2013 05:44 PM (d5/6U)

691 I'm going to go with "I'm from the Government and I am here to help"

Posted by: that_guy at May 15, 2013 12:11 PM (2uova)

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