1 It's all about ACTING!

2 Why can't you just be both?

3 So, morons like me make the lurkers feel good? Who knew? Reason 9,271 why AOSHQ is "Award-Winning."

4 Also, first.  Yeah, that's the ticket.

5

They can't judge you if it's not really you in the first place.

-

That's why I changed my screen name.

6

I'M RICK JAMES B*TCH!

 

not really

7 I'm a big introvert, but I'm used to having to "pretend" I'm an extrovert.  I'll tell you one thing -- it's exhausting. 

8 2 Sybil,

I'm on it!

//Lindsay Lohan and her sidekick Miley Ray Cyrus

9 Damn, I thought this was going to be about the mayonnaise show.

10 Ace is big.  It's the internet that got small.

11 So acting isn't really work, got it.

12 Also, acting slutty makes boys like you. True fact!

13 3 JJ Sefton,

Lurkers particularly like it when you use the sledgehammer and hit the watermelons...

14 10 Ace is big. It's the internet that got small. Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at July 25, 2013 02:53 PM (8ZskC) Well played, sir. (I'm ready for my closeup, Mr. Gore!)

15 13 3 JJ Sefton, Lurkers particularly like it when you use the sledgehammer and hit the watermelons... Posted by: Miguel Ambivalence at July 25, 2013 02:54 PM (LRFds) I mostly miss the watermelons and hit my femur.

16 AFAIK, extroverts can be miserable too (at least the Meyers-Briggs kind).  Its just that they make sure everyone around them knows it.

17
This has been a major theme of Dennis Prager's for a long time.  He wrote a book about it: Happiness is a Serious Problem.  Here is a video that sums up his thoughts:  http://tinyurl.com/lsegjjr

18 If you are a true introvert, you could care less what other people think, so why act at all?

19 I'm just a misunderstood introvert.

20

Everyone knows me in my Interior World. I am invited to all the parties.

21 Dennis Prager has be on to this for a while - he has a weekly "Happiness Hour". Good stuff, Maynard.

22 So THIS is what it's like to be sad-happy.

23 Note: I didn't read most of the article. (I'm a moronette, leave me alone.) I am an extremely happy introvert. I don't like crowds, and I could stay alone with virtually no human interaction for weeks and be really happy. Loneliness is an extremely rare feeling, maybe once every several years. I'm basically a very happy hermit. As such, it takes a lot for me to actually get out and socialize, but when I'm forced to I almost end up enjoying myself. I wonder if any of the above has anything to do with the post I didn't read.

24 Is the use of the word 'totes' part of your extrovert schtick?

25 I'M RICK JAMES B*TCH! not really Posted by: Shy at July 25, 2013 02:52 PM (3ZtZW) Good, because if that were the case, you'd be dead.

26 I'm only an extrovert thirty seconds at a time.

27

Oh, and I'M the theater fag.

 

You know what  hurts the most?  The lack of respect.

28 I should invite all the little bastids to dance on my lawn and pick my flowers?


No.

29 My nipples are introverted.  True story.

30 I'd be happier if I could just find those d@mn skies of tomorrow!

31 Umm, introvert doesn't mean not happy.  You can be depressed and be an extrovert. 

This is a bullshit study.  The whole point is an introvert is content not being out partying.  Now, if they are also depressed, or whatever, I agree getting some interpersonal interaction will probably help them.

32 >>> I don't like crowds, and I could stay alone with virtually no human interaction for weeks and be really happy.

yeah I'm this way.  I prefer solitude.

Friends say let's get together and my reaction (withheld) is usually "Why?"

33 I don't know how to pretend

34 Crap, does this mean all comments from introverts have to have the Caps Lock key pressed?

35 I'd be more social but I don't think mother would approve.

36 You know what hurts the most? The lack of respect. Me, it's the mayo enema that hurts.

37 I'd be happier if I could just find those d@mn skies of tomorrow!

Posted by: Lizzy at July 25, 2013 02:57 PM (2mSdf)

-

Those skies    of tomorrow    will be a pretty shade of blue, once the EPA gets done shutting down every power plant in the nation.

38 Note: I didn't read most of the article. (I'm a moronette, leave me alone.) Posted by: chique d'afrique (the artist formerly known as african chick) at July 25, 2013 02:56 PM (r+7wo) Bra size?

39 30 My nipples are introverted. True story. Posted by: Debbie Wassermouth Shithead at July 25, 2013 02:57 PM (8ZskC) "Innie" nipples? Eww.

40 But I'll add that no matter how much I enjoy spending time with people when I actually do it, I am a hermit at heart, and it takes a lot out of me. So if I spend a lot of time with people, say over a few days, I end up retreating to my hermit fort and going out of circulation for a long time to recharge. I think that's a good definition of introverts vs. extroverts, the former get energized by being alone and the latter by being around others.

41 I've always called the extrovert act "being on", and need a few hours of quiet before and after to build/rebuild my reserves. My extroverted opposite half doesn't really get it, but can see immediately when the tank is empty.

Maybe that's just me, though.

42 You know what hurts the most? The lack of respect.

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at July 25, 2013 02:56 PM (CJjw5)

 

You live in Canada, right?  Shouldn't you be giving some naked guy a      Hellmann's    enema    right now,  theater boy?

 

:*

43 I have been practicing saying "yes" to requests that used to irk me. For example, when we are editing a voice-over, if my partner says she wants something changed, rather than argue, I just do it, if it turns bad, she can see it and ask to change it back, if it works I learned something. I think is was Epicetus who said," in an argument about ideas, the loser gains more"

44 I'm just happier being depressed.

45

Friends say let's get together and my reaction (withheld) is usually "Why?"

 

Posted by: ace at July 25, 2013 02:57 PM (/IWYB)

 

-------------------

 

Sounds like Sheldon  Cooper.

 

Penny:  "But how does that make you  FEEL, Sheldon?"

 

Sheldon:  "I don't understand the question."

46 I just got back from a townhall meeting with our Congress Person of Color (Mr. Dingle) and he said don't worry about the news of Detroit being bankrupt and that President Obama will save Detroit again like he dids before. He also said Detroit collapsed because of the Republican policies put in place by the Governor to hurt persons of color while killing the auto industry causing Detroit to go broke. That makes sense based what I have seen and heard from the Mayor of Detroit and peoples in my government housing neighborhood. Once again Bush and Republicans have destroyed my Chocolate City because they hate persons of color and trying to make President Obama look bad for the 2014 elections !!!!!!!!!!!!!

47 35 Crap, does this mean all comments from introverts have to have the Caps Lock key pressed? Posted by: RS at July 25, 2013 02:57 PM (YAGV/) Bold, Italics and underlined.

48

There was a little trick we used to pull in my family when the younger siblings were sulking for some nonsensical reason.  We'd tell them not to smile.  And then tell them again.  And again.  And we'd get more and more insistant that they weren't allowed to smile.

 

Within a few minutes we'd have the former sulker working as hard as they could (and failing) to suppress an ear-to-ear grin.

 

49 My nipples are introverted. True story. Posted by: Debbie Wassermouth Shithead at July 25, 2013 02:57 PM (8ZskC) Well, your pussy hair does grow on your head, so that explains a lot.

50 @27
But those are the most furious 30 seconds I will ever experience right?  How come the ruler in the pic is in mm scale and only goes to 6?

51

Strange that the best salespeople are introverts, sort of like actors

 

52 Posted by: chique d'afrique (the artist formerly known as african chick) at July 25, 2013 02:56 PM (r+7wo) I almost *always* end up enjoying myself. FIFY

53 Ugh, I meant, FIFM.

54 Rick Tempest sounds to me like the name of a porn star. I don't know that porn stars are naturally more happy and extroverted than non porn stars. ;^) But yes, plenty of people who are introverts have jobs that requite them to be extroverted but they function most comfortably as introverts. Besides, I think being an extrovert is more about how you recharge your energy. Do you recharge by being with people or being by yourself. You can be either an extrovert or an introvert and be happy and cheerful or you can be an introvert and be those things as well

55

@MWR,

 

I'm doing the "low fat" thing right now, so PASS.  But  a beejer  would sure go down a treat  right about  now.

56 Faking it does help imho. Re the fatigue issue: I am an extrovert - really what I call naturally gregarious - but it is exhausting sometimes. Husband is more of an introvert. I have to drag him to things on occasion. But he doesn't get as worn out by those things. I think it's because he diesn't give a shit what ppl think of him whereas I do.

57 I'm a big introvert, but I'm used to having to "pretend" I'm an extrovert. I'll tell you one thing -- it's exhausting.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit at July 25, 2013 02:53 PM (4df7R)

Yup, I naturally fall right in the middle--not a true introvert, but, far from the bubbly type.  When I have to be "ON" for work or social occasions, it is exhausting--unless I am around people that I know and trust.  I am a deeply Conservative person with beliefs that I came to hold through a long and rigorous process, so I don't enjoy being extroverted with the Liberal trash with whom I work.  They are lazy thinkers--addicted to the self-righteous, smug, yet wholly false belief that they came to their beliefs though honest reflection and that being Liberals makes them intellectually and morally superior.  I include the 3 Catholics that wholeheartedly embrace abortion as the highest good for women's rights--Catholics who see no conflict with flouting the teachings of their Pontiff and their church for political reasons.

58

But I'll add that no matter how much I enjoy spending time with people when I actually do it, I am a hermit at heart, and it takes a lot out of me. So if I spend a lot of time with people, say over a few days, I end up retreating to my hermit fort and going out of circulation for a long time to recharge.

 

Ditto. 

 

I'm generally a happy person (cynicism notwithstanding), but I    dread     get togethers,   even with just one or two friends.  I tend to enjoy myself when I DO go out with others, but I'm perfectly content to spend most of my time at home, puttering about.

59 Isn't vodka easier

60 What the hell is the "totes" thing? I missed that day.

61

Sort  of on topic because  its about mental issues,   but  by accident I ended up watching  the movie I had heard about but had no desired to see at the time in 2007,  Lars and the Real Girl.

 

Actually very well written and acted movie.  I was pleasantly suprised.   Anyone else see this movie?

62 "We didn't find a lot of evidence forÂ…the idea that acting like an extrovert would wear out introverts," said Dr. Zelenski. DIdn't this asshole shrink his kids or something?

63 Husband is more of an introvert. I have to drag him to things on occasion. But he doesn't get as worn out by those things. I think it's because he diesn't give a shit what ppl think of him whereas I do.


It sounds like he should be the Moron in the family.

64 If I read one more mention of mayo enemas I'm going to throw a hissy fit. 

*stomps feet*

65

Yeah, this doesn't work.

 

66 The whole point is an introvert is content not being out partying. Now, if they are also depressed, or whatever, I agree getting some interpersonal interaction will probably help them. Posted by: Brewer at July 25, 2013 02:57 PM (eV1I0) Exactly. Some people think that just because someone likes being by him/herself means the person is unhappy and there's something wrong with them. Not so. I just really enjoy my own company. For example, I am going for an a 1.5 week road trip solo next week. So excited!

67

So Ace ---

 

You admit to doing the Clown nose On/Off routine. Wondering which came first, the rant on Stewart or the theory and practice of "being extrovert"

68
Its true, I have faked my whole entire life and I became prez.

69 I'm generally a happy person (cynicism notwithstanding), but I dread get togethers, even with just one or two friends.


Two words: Booze

70 Funny that the premise is that the Introverts are a problem.

71 By the way, Sydney Leathers is an awesome name.

72 I read the article about the Juror who thinks Zimmerman was guilty of 2nd degree murder but there was not evidence to prove it? She sounds like she has poor understanding of the legal system, to be charitable to her.

73 I have learned a few things as an introvert living among extroverts: Yes going along with the ones you really like can indeed make you somewhat happier, the trick is to pick extroverts who accept you, and know when you have had ENOUGH and will honour this.



Also beware acting out of character: people who like you fake self a lot will make you end up feeling like they like your clothes you are wearing, NOT YOU. (Unless you are a totally unreflective person who has no sense of integrity, but if that was so you are unlikely to be a true introvert, since introversion is usually marked by overly reflective traits and being too protective of ones integrity to have fun)

74 Does faking orgasms make women eventually have them?

75 In the past my secret to being an extrovert was  booze.  Now I'm old enough to just not give a shit  what people think of me.

76

Burn it down

Scatter the ashes

Squirt the mayo where its asshole once stood.

77 66 If I read one more mention of mayo enemas I'm going to throw a hissy fit. *stomps feet* Posted by: Jane D'oh at July 25, 2013 03:02 PM (lVPtV) Yeah, I'm with ya. There's just some things I'm extremely happy NOT to know about.

78 Besides, I think being an extrovert is more about how you recharge your energy. Do you recharge by being with people or being by yourself. You can be either an extrovert or an introvert and be happy and cheerful or you can be an introvert and be those things as well

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at July 25, 2013 03:00 PM (GTpeb)

-

Did a group study a few years ago where the introverts and extroverts were separated, then told to dream up a  vacation.  The introverts each picked a quiet place to go, the extroverts planned a huge road trip to   a large number of  various hot   spots, all going together as a group.  That sums up the difference.

79 70 Bracky Ofaker,

eh...I think you lived a life...that is why you hide it so Tiger...

80 In the past my secret to being an extrovert was booze. Now I'm old enough to just not give a shit what people think of me. Posted by: Soona at July 25, 2013 03:04 PM (s7bJ6) you and me both pal

81 Anthony Weiner is an extrovert.

82 That's how Johnny Carson basically "invented" himself.

83 ]If I read one more mention of mayo enemas I'm going to throw a hissy fit. I call it an aïoli clyster.

84 The only thing  I dislike about being an extrovert is I can  never   find  a lampshade  that  fits  my  head  the  way  I  want  it  to. 

85 Lars and the Real Girl was really well done. I think mostly because it didn't slip into cheap jokes and caricature.

86  Does faking orgasms make women eventually have them?

Posted by: Dr Spank at July 25, 2013 03:03 PM (qRasw)

 

 

------------------------------------------------

 

 

How would we know?

87
"25 Is the use of the word 'totes' part of your extrovert schtick?"
----------------------------------------------------------------------

If so, I prefer the introverted Ace.

88 If you fake something long enough, it's no longer faking.

89 75 Gushka,

or you know become a nudist or something...

I need to reread a 17 page legal document one last time.

90 I just accepted me for me and it worked - and it took awhile to do that. I would say more content than happy.

91 this sounds phony. but isnt acting like what youre not insane? its driving jughead nuts, fyi.

92 Funny thing is though I'm an extreme introvert, I have quite the bubbly personality when I'm around others. Weird.

93 Happy is overrated.

94 By the way, Sydney Leathers is an awesome name.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at July 25, 2013 03:03 PM (lVPtV)

-

I thought that was a store   at first.

95
You should try wearing one of those big horse heads, maybe that would help.

96 I'm generally a happy person (cynicism notwithstanding), but I dread get togethers, even with just one or two friends. I tend to enjoy myself when I DO go out with others, but I'm perfectly content to spend most of my time at home, puttering about. Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit at July 25, 2013 03:01 PM (4df7R) OMG, are we twins???

97 Actually very well written and acted movie. I was pleasantly suprised. Anyone else see this movie?

Posted by: polynikes at July 25, 2013 03:01 PM (m2CN7)

Yes, it is very good.  It made me very proud of that town.

98

"Homer Si ... uh, Max Power."

"Oh, hey!  Great name!"

"Yeah, isn't it?  I got it off a hair dryer."

99 The results don't surprise me.   Man needs social interaction - some more, some less, but a need it is. 

I find I enjoy AoS comments for that reason.   I have the illusion that you guys don't simply ignore my comments - so I get social "interaction" without seeing the audience and fretting that I'm trapped in a room with hundreds/thousands of people.  

100 86 Carlos Danger,

any truth to the rumor Huma likes A-1 Steak Sauce in lieu of the demon cream?

The Vinegar probably helps mask Hillary! no?

101 'CARLOS DANGER' TO PARTICIPATE IN LATINA WOMEN'S FORUM THURSDAY NIGHT New York City Democratic mayoral candidate Anthony Weiner is expected to participate in a mayoral candidate forum on womenÂ’s issues, hosted by Voces Latinas in Jackson Heights, New York tonight. Weiner is expected to make remarks about women's issues along with other New York City mayoral candidates. Wonder if he'll whip it out?

102 Funny thing is though I'm an extreme introvert, I have quite the bubbly personality when I'm around others. Weird. Other people bring out your skies of tomorrow.

103 If you play music in a room while an introvert is putting together a jugs-saw puzzle they will get less done than if the room was quiet.  Vice versa for the extrovert.

104

"Acting happy" isn't the same thing as being extroverted.

 

Extroverts tend to thrive on more chaos than introverts can handle.

 

But put an introvert into a group of people where everyone is like him/her, and they all tend to "turn" more extroverted.

 

And all of the people who "meet" me on the Internet are shocked at how introverted I am in real life.  But once we get to know each other, I open up  quite a bit.

 

I'll never be an "extrovert" (that's my husband's job), but I'm perfectly happy with that.

105
I am an introvert by nature, but I have learned to somewhat overcome it when needed.  Basically, what I focus on is to stop thinking about myself.  Whoever I am talking to, I start to really think about *them*, and who they are, and try to find out more about them.  It opens up conversation in a big way ("where are you from", "what do you do for work", "do you have kids", etc.). 

Also, it takes away focus from what I think is the biggest problem for many introverts: the obsession with the question of "what do I talk about next?!?!?!".  In my most socially anxious moments, that is what I worry about the most: what are we supposed to talk about?  (I'm not really a big talker). 

Ultimately, this is worrying about *yourself*.  So instead, I try to focus all my thoughts on the person I am talking to.  This is what gets me to act like an extrovert.

106 The most important thing to success is learning to fake sincerity.

107 I think totes is supposed to mean "totally".

108 I read the article about the Juror who thinks Zimmerman was guilty of 2nd degree murder but there was not evidence to prove it? She sounds like she has poor understanding of the legal system, to be charitable to her. Posted by: Nevergiveup at July 25, 2013 03:03 PM (9Xc5j) --- It looks like she was the one who turned what should have taken an hour into a 2 day ordeal. I pity the rest of the jury who had to tippytoe around this dumb .... wait let me pretend to be happy, I admire her stance! Yay!

109 I make all of you wannabe introverts look like fucking Osmonds.

110

>>> Wonder if he'll whip it out?

 

 

If they play with their hair, that's a sign they want to see it.

111 Funny thing is though I'm an extreme introvert, I have quite the bubbly personality when I'm around others. Weird. I call that Being On.

112 "Anything that requires concentration is going to deplete glucose resources," he said.
--------------------

At last..., an objective explanation for the LIV's.

113 What the hell is the "totes" thing? I missed that day.

Posted by: Burn the Witch at July 25, 2013 03:01 PM (p+XhY)

The big brain deep thinkers on Twitter like Miley Ray use it ad nauseum as a cutesy way to say they totally love something.  In all fairness, to MRC, I do not follow her because to me she looks like a girl built from a Howdy Doody kit gone terribly wrong, but, she is the type of big brain to which I am referring.

114 That makes sense. It seems like all of the truly funny comedians, Belushi, Candy, Farley, etc. battled drug and alcohol abuse in their private lives to battle the demon of depression.

115 I do this at work.  I act more boisterous and friendly.  I gets more money this way, I do.

116 >>It sounds like he should be the Moron in the family. Yep, he'd fit in well here. One thing that most wimmens seem to know but men don't seem to have figured out (as far as I can tell, anyway) is that DRESSING like a happy person or like a confident person can also make you become happier or more confident. I find it hugely helpful.

117 "Extroverts, those outgoing, gregarious types who wear their personalities on their sleeve, are generally happier, studies show."

What about if, while wearing personality on my sleeve, I wear my penis on my shorts? Will that make me happier?

118 Anyone else here an introvert that talks *a lot*?

119

The most important thing to success is learning to fake sincerity.

 

-----------------------

 

I can't tell you how many times I'm telling a client, "Absolutely!  Hey - if  it concerns you, it concerns ME."

 

Meanwhile, in my head I'm thinking boobs.  Booby booby boob boob boobs.

120 Act like an extrovert? How about you read this instead. http://iwastesomuchtime.com/on/?i=63454

121 Yeah I played an extrovert through out college it was exhausting. I do agree it made me happier, but it was a struggle, you have to put up a huge emotional wall. I think I am more a natural introvert, but that also has it's consequences.

122 As someone said, introvert/extrovert is where someone gets "recharged" by being alone/quite or with a group.

It is different than happy/sad, shyness, fear of public speaking, etc.

I'm introverted, but sure I'll have fun out with friends.  I have no problem speaking in front of large groups, speaking up at work.  But at the end of the day, get me a beer, a ball game, and quiet.

123 As an introvert, I don't really care for the assumption that we are not happy to begin with.   I am a happy person.  No extrovertedness needed.

124 "Extroverts, those outgoing, gregarious types who wear their personalities on their sleeve, are generally happier, studies show." Perhaps they're have cause and effect inverted in their interpretation-- ie, generally happy people become more outgoing.

125 it's hard to be an extrovert in prison.......but I try

126 One thing that most wimmens seem to know but men don't seem to have figured out (as far as I can tell, anyway) is that DRESSING like a happy person or like a confident person can also make you become happier or more confident. I find it hugely helpful. Posted by: Y-not at July 25, 2013 03:10 PM (5H6zj) Yep, even wearing nice underoos that no one else gets to see makes me happy.

127 Y-not -- men that dress like happy people are called homosexuals.

128 "I'm quite confident that we can show that going against your traits is going to use up resources," such as glucose, he said. "Anything that requires concentration is going to deplete glucose resources," he said.

So drink more alcohol. Duh.

129 This is a bullshit study. The whole point is an introvert is content not being out partying. ---- I think the point is that an introvert who is depressed might tend to turn even more inward. Reading, gaming, eating a tub of ice cream in the middle of the night etc - all sort of solo behaviors. But the study suggests that rather than recruiting to a cocoon of being alone, these folks might benefit from the opposite behavior.

130 Anyone else here an introvert that talks *a lot*?

Posted by: chique d'afrique (the artist formerly known as african chick) at July 25, 2013 03:10 PM (r+7wo)

Yes, I began talking very early and have not stopped. 

131 97 By the way, Sydney Leathers is an awesome name. Posted by: Jane D'oh at July 25, 2013 03:03 PM (lVPtV) How about Perth Pleather? Ursaline Ultrasuede?

132 As an introvert, I don't really care for the assumption that we are not happy to begin with. I am a happy person. No extrovertedness needed.

Posted by: irright at July 25, 2013 03:11 PM (8GKDa)

 

-----------------------

 

WHOA!  Way too aggressive there, pal.

133

 "Extroverts, those outgoing, gregarious types who wear their
personalities on their sleeve, are generally happier, studies show."

-

Or they're acting.

134 I am an introvert who likes to let my extrovert have some fresh air now and then! At least three times since first humiliation of family and supporters. Freedom!

135 Extroverts have slow minds that need external stimuli to rev up their thought process.  Introverts' minds run too fast and can get overwhelmed by chaotic surroundings.

136 Introverts that talk a lot?

You mean women?

137 Perhaps they're have cause and effect inverted in their interpretation-- ie, generally happy people become more outgoing. Hah....good point.

138
Wait....new trademark..... The Fries of Tomorrow (tm).

I can sell that one to McDonalds.

139 I'm introverted, but sure I'll have fun out with friends. I have no problem speaking in front of large groups, speaking up at work. But at the end of the day, get me a beer, a ball game, and quiet. Posted by: Brewer at July 25, 2013 03:11 PM (eV1I0) Yep, that's me without the beer and ball game part. No fear of public speaking whatsoever. But I love to be left alone, and thankfully, my friends understand that just because I don't call doesn't mean I don't love them.

140 Whenever I see a study like this, I realize a guy like Nanny Bloomberg is reading it too, and what his intepretation is scares me.

141 Posted by: Y-not at July 25, 2013 03:10 PM (5H6zj)

Are you saying my all black outfit might not be the best choice for a picnic?

142 The church has been on this theory for about 2000 years. "Act virtuous and you'll BECOME virtuous! Honestly, try it, try it!".

143
If I read one more mention of mayo enemas I'm going to throw a hissy fit.

*stomps feet*

Ok peeps, you heard the 'ette. From now on only discuss salad dressing enemas.

144 "Extroverts, those outgoing, gregarious types who wear their personalities on their sleeve, are generally happier, studies show." - Or they're acting. Or they're shallow. Honestly, I have trouble looking at extroverts without thinking they're phonies.

145 Oops screwed up. Make that Ulaanbaatar Ultrasuede?

146 I always envied that Twilight zone character who was the last person on earth, until he broke his glasses, of course.

147 127 As an introvert, I don't really care for the assumption that we are not happy to begin with. I am a happy person. No extrovertedness needed.

Exactly!  Popular culture suggests and introvert is defective.  Well, popular culture is also highly liberal and promotes TFG.  I rest my case.

148 Meh, it's all an illusion anyway.

149 Yes, I began talking very early and have not stopped. Posted by: Sherry McEvil, Stiletto Corsettes C'est Magnifique at July 25, 2013 03:12 PM (kXoT0) LOL, that's what I say, too. I said a really complex word in my mother's language (with k sounds) at 9 months and have never looked back.

150 Meanwhile, in my head I'm thinking boobs. Booby booby boob boob boobs And perhaps when you say "If it concerns you it concerns ME" they're thinking "This guy is a awful boob...boob....boob...boob.

151 Can we just have a group hug and get this over with?

152 It's twoo, it's twoo. The first time I had to do client visits and deliver on-site training, the whole thing terrified me. I'm normally shy and somewhat withdrawn. But then something interesting happened -- I delivered some training that knocked a few runs out of the park, down the block, and out over the river. WHAT. A. RUSH. I considered what I had changed that made such a difference. A big part of it was that I knew my stuff. I even knew stuff that the client's experts did not know, so that gave me confidence. After it looked like I was the expert in the room, I started to really believe that I was the expert in the room. Now, even when I'm not the expert, I still carry myself as if I am. It makes a huge difference. I went from dreading public speaking and training to absolutely needing it. If I don't get it regularly, I seek it out. I NEED IT. It's not all perfect -- I am sometimes still crippled with soul-crushing doubt and regret and depression. But that's what Citalopram and masturbation are for. A few days of that, and I'm back. I've often felt that everyone is out there playing an affected role. I doubt even the most genuine people. The most genuine people to me seem like total phonies because, I suspect, that they don't even understand that they are playing a role. To me, someone seems more genuine the moment I see them let their guard down and see the real and usually totally insecure person that's underneath, even if it's just for a moment. Damn. I'm starting to think too much about this. Where's the Citalopram? And where are those photos of Wiener's wife?

153

Your  enviroment  growing up  surely  has a lot to do whether you become an   introvert or extrovert  as  an adult  and   how much either one  makes you happy either  or  not.   

 

You can have extorverts  who  are miserable  unless something is going on 24/7 and introverts who are happy to be by themselves for days at  a time. 

 

   

154 Chicago’s Teachers Union Goes To Honduras To Talk About American “Cruelty” And “Revolution” With Former Leftist President Manuel Zelaya… By the looks of things, Chicago’s education system must be in tip-top shape. Why else would members of the Chicago Teachers Unions be jetting around the world and focusing on global issues rather than the academic issues facing their district? For two weeks at the end of June, about 20 teachers and students traveled to Honduras to meet with their teachers union counterparts from that country, to learn about the “Honduran resistance movement,” and meet with the deposed former president, Mel Zelaya, according to an account posted on Honduras Resists. The published account states members of the CTU met with Zelaya to exchange ideas “about the struggle for a world where human lives have more value than private profit.” Is the CTU planning to bring a Central American style revolution to the U.S.? Victoria [last name redacted], a 17-year-old Chicago high school student, said of her meeting with Zelaya, a one-time ally of Hugo Chavez and Fidel Castro, “Meeting the ex-president was powerful and intriguing. This meeting gave me hope. The president had a thought that not one politician in the U.S. has acknowledged, ‘what can I do to help those who doesn’t [sic] have everything they need?’ It gives me hope but it also puts into perspective the cruelty of the U.S. government. Our system needs to be torn down and rebuilt with the bricks of freedom, peace, humanity and this can be achieved through revolution.” And you thought there was reason to worry about the US Educational System?

155

OK.

That's great. We're going to try more normative psychology I guess.  And introversion is now "not good."

Except, I have my own experiences that seem to split this down the middle.

For the past 2 years I've gone to PAX (alas no more).  Now for an introvert, PAX is not exactly the most agreeable experience.  So in year 1 the wife and I largely kept to ourselves.

In year two, determined to change this, we decided to attend a few of the social gatherings.  Here's the thing, I didn't underestimate the feelings of numerousness, because they happened.  This isn't to say I didn't enjoy myself, I did, but it was only after an incredible expenditure of psychological energy to reach that point.

And I had to have ways in place to more or less force me to go against my nature (for starters, we paid for the party, now it included dinner, but that was part of our food budget.  So we either had to go, or frankly there wasn't money for a alternative meal.  Also, I set up cab sharing with people over the forums.  They expected me to be there, and I have a strong sense of duty, so I showed up.)

But that doesn't mean it wasn't an awkward first 30 minutes.

the TL;DR is: something seems wrong about their science.  And that would also mesh with some of the research coming out that critiques psych research as being overly reliant on students.

156 136 As an introvert, I don't really care for the assumption that we are not happy to begin with. I am a happy person. No extrovertedness needed.
Posted by: irright at July 25, 2013 03:11 PM (8GKDa)

-----------------------

WHOA! Way too aggressive there, pal. Posted by: Empire of Jeff at July 25, 2013 03:13 PM
--------------------------------


Just trying to get happy.

157 Maybe that's why women fake orgasms....to make themselves happy!

158 Ok peeps, you heard the 'ette. From now on only discuss salad dressing enemas. Ranch? French? Franch? Thousand Island? Italian? Balsamic Vinaigrette? Honey Mustard?

159 122 Anyone else here an introvert that talks *a lot*? 
Posted by: chique d'afrique (the artist formerly known as african chick) at July 25, 2013 03:10 PM (r+7wo)

Depends on topic.  

On the Internets, where you can take your sweet time typing up your thoughts, I am guilty of large walls of texts that would be awkwardly long in a discussion/conversation.   

Typing is a kind of talking, right?  =P

160

Funny thing is though I'm an extreme introvert, I have quite the bubbly personality when I'm around others. Weird.

Posted by: chique d'afrique (the artist formerly known as african chick) at July 25, 2013 03:05 PM (r+7wo)

 

 

You're like my sister   from another mister, chique!   lol!  

 

 

161 And perhaps when you say "If it concerns you it concerns ME" they're thinking "This guy is a awful boob...boob....boob...boob.

 

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at July 25, 2013 03:14 PM (GTpeb)

 

------------------------

 

They could be in constant fear of  bodily harm.  As long as their check clears, I'm good to go.

162 This introvert finds acting extroverted VERY exhausting. I can do it when I have to (for work or family social events) but I spend a lot of time recharging afterwards.

163 One thing that most wimmens seem to know but men don't seem to have figured out (as far as I can tell, anyway) is that DRESSING like a happy person or like a confident person can also make you become happier or more confident. I find it hugely helpful.   Posted by: Y-not at July 25, 2013 03:10 PM (5H6zj)

One thing that I have noticed about the so-called Millennials is that they dress really badly.  If you ever have any hope of advancing in your job--you dress like the people two grades above you so that they subconsciously group you with themselves.  No one in management is going to group you with them if you schlub around in dirty, tattered, plaid flannel shirts and khakis with the hems so frayed they are two inches too short.

164
Yep, that's me without the beer and ball game part. No fear of public speaking whatsoever. But I love to be left alone, and thankfully, my friends understand that just because I don't call doesn't mean I don't love them.

Sweet, I'll have your beer then.

165 Y-not -- men that dress like happy people are called homosexuals.


Heh.

Mrs. Cicero wants to buy me an "outfit."  I explain (again) that guys don't wear outfits, they wear clothes.

166 It's not as hard as they say to act extroverted.  You can develop the habit of looking at other people's shoes when talking to them.

167 I am an introverted naval gazer that tends to get paralysis from analysis.  I have to be an extrovert in my business and it is exhausting.  I can make a LOT of money doing what I do, otherwise I would be staring at actuarial tables in some insurance office somewhere; rarely talking to anyone.  Most people suck.

168 OMG, are we twins???

Posted by: chique d'afrique (the artist formerly known as african chick) at July 25, 2013 03:06 PM (r+7wo)

 

See??   Great minds think alike!  

169 Being in the room with him makes some feel "as nervous as a cat in a room full of rocking chairs." You never know when he might pull a fast one out of his holster.

170 I've found this to be true. I'm a weird sort of introvert---I need to be social in order to keep myself responsible, if that makes sense. I like being alone somewhat better *at the time* but if I go very long without social contact I sort of devolve. I feel like I'm a better person when I'm out with others, and immediately after. Alone, I turn into a happy but useless lump.

171 Oh thank fuck I can finally shriek about this. Why, precisely, must introverts be more like extroverts? It does not make me happy to have to pretend to be something I am not. Now, I can do it but there is a price to be paid. For example, it took me a good week and a half to get over going to the NoVaMoMee. It was worth it and it was grand and all of that but that sucked up what little energy I have for social interaction for a good month. I hate that being an extrovert is considered the norm. MWR made a comment the other day on a thread about people hiring coaches for their little kids to learn how to play wherein she noted that she was far happier playing by herself than playing with the idiotic brats who had no imagination. I feel incredibly confident in noting that she is a far more interesting and creative person than many of those who think that if you don't want to go out and be surrounded by people all the time there's something wrong with you. There's nothing wrong with being the dreamy little kid in the corner. Not one damn thing. There's not one fucking thing wrong with not liking people around you all the time. That's not to say all extroverts are shallow, flighty twits incapable of being still and engaging in deep thought. That's also not to say that all introverts are serious, thoughtful people. It's that people are different and that's fine. Well, it's fine up to the point where the extroverts are the teachers and the heads of the HR department and are the ones in charge of making serious decisions about the economy. Not everyone wants to or is capable of turning into Me, Inc. and going out and leveraging their social network contacts into a robust LinkedIn presence that generates buzz and blah blah blah bullshit. Stop making people feel guilty because we stare at the ravening mob and think stay the fuck away from me you damn dirty apes.

172 I call it an aïoli clyster. Posted by: Carlos Danger at July 25, 2013 03:05 PM (0Rwpi) Anthony Weiner is an aïoli clyster-fuck of a miserable failure.

173 I think butt, buttocks, hiney, hiney , hiney.

174 I read the article about the Juror who thinks Zimmerman was guilty of 2nd degree murder but there was not evidence to prove it? She sounds like she has poor understanding of the legal system, to be charitable to her.

All true.  Good on her though, for listening to reason in jury deliberation and voting to acquit.

175 Our new, most transgressive, stage show combines several things that shock the patriarchy:

- Mayo enemas
- Spiders
- Clowns
- Mimes

How those things are combined?  You must pay us to find out.

176 being an introvert has elements in common with being an extrovert---but which came first?

177 Ok peeps, you heard the 'ette. From now on only discuss salad dressing enemas. Ranch? French? Franch? Thousand Island? Italian? Balsamic Vinaigrette? Honey Mustard? Someone will spoil it and suggest diet Catalina.

178 I started out as an extrovert. Never met a stranger. As I have gotten older, I have become more introverted. Why? Because the majority of people I meet are functionally stupid & I'd rather slit there throats than deal with them. Present company excluded.

179 Yes, Mani did teach some odd things. I don't know about this whole 'leftists = gnostic manicheans' thing. From the perspective of traditional non-dualists (not necessarily monists) mostly all Westerners, including functional monists (i.e. Reformed Christians) seem like raging Manichean Gnostics.

I feel like the argument is pot and kettle. Like Alex Solzhenitsyn said, the line of good and evil runs across each human heart - the battle between good and evil goes on inside each human being and not really at all in the world. Even those who often claim the left are Manichean have simply redefined the 'battle' in different terms; civilization vs. barbarism, freemen vs. tyrants, etc.

180 All this talk of enemas, and nobody mentions bleu cheese?

181 Barack Obama is a stuttering clusterf*ck of a malignant traitor.

182 Burn it down. Scatter the Stones. Salt the earth where it stood.

183 182 Posted by: George Orwell the least interesting commenter in the world at July 25, 2013 03:18 PM (0Rwpi) Chunky bleu cheese...

184
Could you all just take a step or seven back?  Thanks.

185 171 It's not as hard as they say to act extroverted. You can develop the habit of looking at other people's shoes when talking to them. Posted by: SpongeBob Saget at July 25, 2013 03:16 PM (epxV4) I assume 'extroverted' means sociopathic asshole, which I assume means truthful, but polite. But then again, I don't think social science is all that and a bag of chips.

186 Anyone else here an introvert that talks *a lot*?

Posted by: chique d'afrique (the artist formerly known as african chick) at July 25, 2013 03:10 PM (r+7wo)

 

When I start talking, OMG, I babble.   It's one of thsoe things about which I'm self-conscious.

187 It's not as hard as they say to act extroverted. You can develop the habit of looking at other people's shoes when talking to them. Boobs. Look at the boobs.

188 Introverts aren't unhappy. We just hate everyone else.

189 I'm  a diplovert. My fear is being in crowds that want to be left alone.

190 My entire life says these assumptions are bullshit. Also, college students not the best at knowing themselves. Also, a half-assed understanding of introversion / extroversion. I have *never* not been outspoken. Also, thanks again for telling me the key to happiness is being someone other than me, and obeying dictates from others, and lying. Because that path obviously points to "happiness." Jaysus, we get it, extroverts don't like us and want us to change. Thanks, news flash.

191 Meh, it's all an illusion anyway.

Posted by: toby928© Artificial Construct at July 25, 2013 03:14 PM (QupBk)

"Reality is only an illusion, although sometimes it can be a very convincing one!" - Al Einstein

192 LOL, that's what I say, too. I said a really complex word in my mother's language (with k sounds) at 9 months and have never looked back.

Posted by: chique d'afrique (the artist formerly known as african chick) at July 25, 2013 03:14 PM (r+7wo)

I could speak in complete sentences at 9 months.  I also walked at 9 months.  My parents would not tell their friends about either thing and I would walk into the room and start talking to the grownups, who were naturally quite startled.

193 Mani, like Oswald, was a fag

194 Honestly, I have trouble looking at extroverts without thinking they're phonies.

Ah, the East Coast definition of "phony".

If someone is genuinely bubbly and friendly, but not your best friend, there's something wrong with them.  -East Coast numpty

195 Well, thanks Ace, and all you extroverts that make the effort. The world would be boring without you. My husband is an introvert and I'm always trying to drag him around to go places with me. After 30 years, it has gotten easier for him. When they get to know him, they realize they always misjudged him. He is more charming than he realizes.

196 Posted by: Serious Cat at July 25, 2013 03:07 PM (UypUQ)

You sure about that one? I get more done and enjoy it with music on. It drowns out the um, ... voices.

Posted by: Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho at July 25, 2013 03:09 PM (uvaJ1)

I was a test subject in a college thesis study that confirmed that finding.  It was only a couple of 16-piece juggs-saw puzzles but the second attempt with the music turned on (circus theme stuff) I only got 2-3 pieces in the amount of time.

Unfortunately for me, I've developed tinnitus in recent years, so that finding complete silence is impossible (until they find a cure).

197 Boobs. Look at the boobs.

Posted by: rickb223 at July 25, 2013 03:19 PM (3ms7d)

For ten seconds or so, then look at our eyes or we want to kneecap you.

198 That was the greatest rant of all time Alex. We can close the Internet now. Singularity has been achieved.

199 85 degrees in OKC  in the latter part of July.   YES! 

200 It's one of thsoe things about which I'm self-conscious. Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Me, too! Honestly, I'm pretty sure we were separated at birth. I trained myself to get over the self-consciousness thing though, although it does rear its head from time to time. I realized that people who like me actually like my babbling. Weird, I know.

201 191 Anyone else here an introvert that talks *a lot*?
Posted by: chique d'afrique (the artist formerly known as african chick) at July 25, 2013 03:10 PM (r+7wo) 

When I start talking, OMG, I babble. It's one of thsoe things about which I'm self-conscious. 
Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit at July 25, 2013 03:19 PM (4df7R)


It's okay.   It's not like the men are listening to a word you say.    

202 I'm a polyvert. Come to my one-man (silent) performance art showcase! No, don't. Tell your friends.

203

I meant thanks to the introverts, of course. Sorry.

204 Stop making people feel guilty because we stare at the ravening mob and think stay the fuck away from me you damn dirty apes.

Posted by: alexthechick - Commence drinking now. at July 25, 2013 03:17 PM (VtjlW)

Sheer poetry in the afternoon, where else but AoS!

205 Anyone else here an introvert that talks *a lot*? Posted by: chique d'afrique (the artist formerly known as african chick) at July 25, 2013 03:10 PM (r+7wo) Me. Once I open up around someone, I have no problem talking. And talking. And talking... It's not even an issue of me "not liking" people or "being shy." It takes a ridiculous amount of emotional energy to be around people. Groups of up to 5 or 6 are usually fine. Beyond that (and, yes, that means 7+) and I just get uncomfortable (even if I know everyone there and like them- say, family gatherings), and when everything finally breaks up, I'm just completely exhausted and withdrawn.

206 OMG, are we twins???

Posted by: chique d'afrique (the artist formerly known as african chick) at July 25, 2013 03:06 PM (r+7wo)

Triplets!

207 For ten seconds or so, then look at our eyes or we want to kneecap you. Yes ma'am.

208 I'm an introvert by nature but it's mostly bc I don't like people. And I hate making small talk.

209 more charming than he realizes.

Posted by: Liberty Lover at July 25, 2013 03:21 PM (Tgw0+)

the essence of charm is the awareness of others ( and how others see you ).

210 204 85 degrees in OKC in the latter part of July. YES! Posted by: Soona at July 25, 2013 03:22 PM (s7bJ6) It's 65 here in CT....it was 95 a week ago.

211

O/T from the Zimmerman Jury ladies interview:

"As much as we were trying to find this man guiltyÂ…they give you a booklet that basically tells you the truth, and the truth is that there was nothing that we could do about it," she said. "I feel the verdict was already told."

 

Read the first sentence.  That is the scary part, she was convinced in her "heart" he was guilty before they even started.  Thankfully the truth won her over.

 

Oh and she is an IDIOT!

 

 

212 Posted by: Sherry McEvil, Stiletto Corsettes C'est Magnifique at July 25, 2013 03:20 PM (kXoT0) So you were an even more bizarre baby than me? Yes! I couldn't walk till I was over one, though. Too fat.

213 Theme set for this thread: Pointers Sisters - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JddY9cGcxkc Kajagoogoo - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nKWbMJOIkUk

214 Tempest. That was one of my favorite video games in the 80's.

215 Does this mean I can write off all my alcohol purchases as a medical expense?  Extroversion in a bottle, baby!

216 I'm still trying to understand how you get two pies by subdividing a circle into ever smaller triangles.

217 217 Posted by: Sherry McEvil, Stiletto Corsettes C'est Magnifique at July 25, 2013 03:20 PM (kXoT0) So you were an even more bizarre baby than me? Yes! I couldn't walk till I was over one, though. Too fat. Posted by: chique d'afrique (the artist formerly known as african chick) at July 25, 2013 03:23 PM (r+7wo) Wasn't Too Fat one of the Asiana Airline pilots?

218

Posted by: alexthechick - Commence drinking now. at July 25, 2013 03:17 PM (VtjlW)

 

Come now.

I know you've read Foucault.  He's wrong about quite a lot, but not about the weaponization of psychology and it's attempt to create a "norm" (mostly via various forms of the naturalistic fallacy.)

Ironically, the more we learn about psychology research (meta-psych if you will) the more we're leaning it's horribly broken.

I mentioned the bit above about overreliance on students creating a bias.  But also there's research out there suggesting that research subjects are very good at figuring out the result the investigator wants and then giving them that result.

It would explain why so many of these experiments go against actual experience, and why they often aren't reproducible.

Or as my wife once put it "it's not really science."

(Part of something I'm working now actually argues that a bunch of "research" is not in fact science, but that's a different story for a different day.)

219 The ideal self and self actualization. This is a humanist idea and it's a very good one. I am learning all about this in a psychology class I am taking.

220 85 degrees in OKC in the latter part of July. YES!

Posted by: Soona at July 25, 2013 03:22 PM (s7bJ6)

Same here in Tulsa, although we had to have a helluva storm on Tuesday nigh to get there from 104.  Rain in July three weeks in row, whodathunkit?

221 Wasn't Too Fat one of the Asiana Airline pilots? Posted by: model_1066 at July 25, 2013 03:24 PM (QeafI) No, that was Too Lo.

222 Holy crap -- we get ten seconds??? I thought it was glance and look away like the Sun. Shit.

223 The church has been on this theory for about 2000 years. "Act virtuous and you'll BECOME virtuous! Honestly, try it, try it!".


No.

224 I'll be at a ball game tonight with two couples and my wife. 4 of those 5 are college profs. If I don't take charge of the conversation, they'll bore my balls off. So I will. Not sure what I'll say, but it won't be two hours of internal school politics, that's for sure.

225 Burn it down Scatter the ashes Squirt the mayo where its asshole once stood. Posted by: Empire of Jeff at July 25, 2013 03:04 PM (CJjw5) Allen, I think you should adopt this one instead.

226

I hate that being an extrovert is considered the norm. MWR made a comment the other day on a thread about people hiring coaches for their little kids to learn how to play wherein she noted that she was far happier playing by herself than playing with the idiotic brats who had no imagination. I feel incredibly confident in noting that she is a far more interesting and creative person than many of those who think that if you don't want to go out and be surrounded by people all the time there's something wrong with you. There's nothing wrong with being the dreamy little kid in the corner. Not one damn thing.

 

 

*bursting with pride*   AtC thinks I'm interesting and creative!

 

*gives self gold star!!*

 

And I agree -- there's absolutely nothing wrong with being an introvert.   Introversion is not the same as depression, or social awkwardness, or any of that nonsense.  Do they overlap?  Sure.   Do extroverts not have those same problems?  Bullshit. 

227 Does this mean I can write off all my alcohol purchases as a medical expense? Extroversion in a bottle, baby!

Posted by: Jaws at July 25, 2013 03:24 PM (4I3Uo)

My IRS examiner kept saying that if I could just get a prescription for booze, I could claim it.  In the meantime, I am getting quarterly audits (while I doctor shop)!

228

"Oh and she is an IDIOT!"

 

And she'll be celebrated and richly rewarded  by the Left and the MSM (BIRM). 

 

I gotta get off this planet.

229 >>193 Introverts aren't unhappy. We just hate everyone else. Heh, when we were in college, before we started dating, I was interested in Mr Y-not. Talking with mutual friends, they all said "Oh, he's shy." I knew they were wrong. He wasn't shy -- just highly selective. I found that highly attractive.

230 Science: Acting Like an Extrovert Can Make an Introvert Happier

-

Alternate headline:  Science: Acting    Like an Extrovert Can Make an Introvert Look Like an Extrovert.

231 Well, it's fine up to the point where the extroverts are the teachers and the heads of the HR department and are the ones in charge of making serious decisions about the economy. Posted by: alexthechick - Commence drinking now. at July 25, 2013 03:17 PM (VtjlW) In the same manner that Morning People ruin everything by getting there first (arbitrarily since we define life in packets called "days") and set everything up for Morning People. It is neither fair nor unfair, because it just is, but it is rude as shit sometimes. Case in point - leaf blowers.

232 And... AtC beat me to it. Look, being introverted doesn't mean we're not happy. I'm rarely more happy than when I'm playing on my computer or reading a book. I'm rarely less happy than when I'm in a crowd of people. Even the *thought* of the mall after Thanksgiving is enough to make me edgy. I don't even like going to the mall on a week day in the early afternoon (read: their slowest time). But the next person who tells me I need to "lighten up" or "be happy" may just find out what unhappy me really looks like. Put another way. This is my happy face. You wouldn't like my grumpy one.

233 I'm so introverted its even hard to post anything on here. 'Scuse me, gotta go.

234 229 Holy crap -- we get ten seconds???
I thought it was glance and look away like the Sun.   Shit. 
Posted by: eleven at July 25, 2013 03:26 PM (KXm42)

I'm blind!

235 The ideal self and self actualization. This is a humanist idea and it's a very good one. I am learning all about this in a psychology class I am taking. Wait until you get to the chapter, "Yes, you too can fap".

236 So you were an even more bizarre baby than me? Yes!

I couldn't walk till I was over one, though. Too fat.

Posted by: chique d'afrique (the artist formerly known as african chick) at July 25, 2013 03:23 PM (r+7wo)

Yes, the next baby (I was the eldest) did not talk until she was over 2.  Mom said I would walk up to her and tell her what the baby wanted.

237 I used to wonder why, after a typical four-hour show on the air, I was always so tired. I guess it's "playing against type" for so long every day.

238 231 I'll be at a ball game tonight with two couples and my wife. 4 of those 5 are college profs. If I don't take charge of the conversation, they'll bore my balls off. So I will. Not sure what I'll say, but it won't be two hours of internal school politics, that's for sure. Posted by: Lincolntf at July 25, 2013 03:26 PM (ZshNr) Are they Obamabot douchebags? Statistics say yes.

239 >>Ah, the East Coast definition of "phony". Ha ha! When I moved from Chicago to Boston, I was my usual chatty & friendly self w/ shopkeepers and the like. They all remarked on it - "you're not from around here, are you?" When I said I'd just moved from Chicago, they said that explained it -- you're from the Midwest. Sad to tell them I'm from the Maryland (DC-Balt corridor).

240 When I start talking, OMG, I babble. It's one of thsoe things about which I'm self-conscious.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit at July 25, 2013 03:19 PM (4df7R)

I do not like long awkward pauses in conversations. I will fill them, no matter if it is a funeral. Trivia. Politics. Art. Travel. Zit remedies. Anything but salad dressing enemas. My husband is an introvert, so I come in handy at bidness socials.

241 Hell of a lot of introverts here.  I guess the extroverts are at the bar already.

242
Posted by: Lincolntf at July 25, 2013 03:26 PM (ZshNr)   <<<<

You should talk about the game.  That will drive them crazy.

243 Chique, I'm right with you. There is a difference between being alone and being lonely. I think a lot of people are screwed up because they just don't want to be alone with their own thoughts. It frightens them, because they wonder whether there's anything there worth contemplating.

244 When I start talking, OMG, I babble. It's one of thsoe things about which I'm self-conscious.
Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit at July 25, 2013 03:19 PM (4df7R) 

 

 

------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

Go ahead.  Men, especially, don't mind.  Because when women babble, boobs jiggle. 

 

 

 

245 Yes, the next baby (I was the eldest) did not talk until she was over 2. Mom said I would walk up to her and tell her what the baby wanted.

I had a teacher tell me about parents of a child who never stopped baby talking to him.  When he started Kindergarten his older sister had to come translate for the teacher if the kid really got insistent about something.

246 236 Wasn't Too Fat one of the Asiana Airline pilots? Posted by: model_1066 at July 25, 2013 03:24 PM (QeafI) No, that was Too Lo. I thought it was Hung Too Lo. Posted by: Mallamutt, RINO President for Life at July 25, 2013 03:27 PM (OWjjx) Second cousin.

247 240 And... AtC beat me to it. Look, being introverted doesn't mean we're not happy. I'm rarely more happy than when I'm playing on my computer or reading a book. I'm rarely less happy than when I'm in a crowd of people. Even the *thought* of the mall after Thanksgiving is enough to make me edgy. I don't even like going to the mall on a week day in the early afternoon (read: their slowest time). But the next person who tells me I need to "lighten up" or "be happy" may just find out what unhappy me really looks like. Put another way. This is my happy face. You wouldn't like my grumpy one. Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) MFM Delenda Est at July 25, 2013 03:27 PM (/PCJa) Put another way: beating your dumb ass into the dirt with a hammer makes me happy; any questions?

248 When I start talking, OMG, I babble. It's one of thsoe things about which I'm self-conscious. Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit at July 25, 2013 03:19 PM (4df7R) I'm still embarrassed about subjecting you to all of my blather the next day. *hides in shame* I should note there's also nothing wrong with being an extrovert. Extroverts are great! Neither is better than the other though one manner of being may be a better persona for a certain situation. It's just that extroversion is being deemed the norm and deviations from that are considered a sign of a problem. The only problem is that the person making that judgment is imposing his/her view of the world on everyone else.

249 Holy crap -- we get ten seconds???  Posted by: eleven at July 25, 2013 03:26 PM (KXm42)

That is the max for those fellas that just can't seem to find a woman's face.  We KNOW you are going to look, but, after 10 seconds, we begin to feel like you should show some manners.

250 One thing that I have noticed about the so-called Millennials is that they dress really badly. If you ever have any hope of advancing in your job--you dress like the people two grades above you so that they subconsciously group you with themselves. I'm always hearing this advice and some years ago I tried it for a while. All it got me was a bunch of funny looks from those above me and a whole ton of resentment from those at my level and below my level. All levels thought I was being a huge suck-up. I quickly went back to dressing like my work peer group.

251 I think that the general idea of what this study found makes sense.  I find it interesting that so many of the people here who consider themselves introverts object so strongly to it.  A couple thoughts:

1) There is a lot of talk here of Introverts and Extroverts, as though there is a clear line separating the two camps.  There is a gray area between pure introvert and pure extrovert in which all human beings reside, with extremely autistic people on the one end, and Anthony Weiner on the other end.  This isn't about an introvert vs. extrovert competition.

2) Introversion in an of itself is not a bad thing, but you have to admit that some aspects of it can be bad.  If one doesn't deal with some of the social anxiety aspects of it, then it can lead to loneliness.  And asking an introvert to attempt to be more outgoing is not the same as asking him to be untrue to himself.

252

LOL, that's what I say, too. I said a really complex
word in my mother's language (with k sounds) at 9 months and have never
looked back.

Posted by: chique d'afrique (the artist formerly known as african chick) at July 25, 2013 03:14 PM (r+7wo)

 

I could speak in complete sentences at 9 months. I also walked at 9 months. My parents would not tell their friends about either thing and I would walk into the room and start talking to the grownups, who were naturally quite startled.

 

Posted by: Sherry McEvil, Stiletto Corsettes C'est Magnifique at July 25, 2013 03:20 PM (kXoT0)

 

 

My mother has always said that I was one of those children who took a little longer to reach   some of the developmental milestones, but that wasn't because I was slow or stupid.  It was because I have always hated TRYING to do things without knowing how they're done.   So I spoke later than my sister spoke, but I    actually  SPOKE.  As in, I figured out words had meanings and what thsoe meanings were and used them.   The same thing with walking.  I never really did the "totter around and fall down a lot" thing.  I just kept crawling until one day I said, "Okay, I get it," and started walking. 

 

253 I'm so introverted that I take pictures of my dick and text them to myself.

254 LOL, that's what I say, too. I said a really complex word in my mother's language (with k sounds) at 9 months and have never looked back.

Posted by: chique d'afrique (the artist formerly known as african chick) at July 25, 2013 03:14 PM (r+7wo)

Koo-koo-ka-choo?

255

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) MFM Delenda Est at July 25, 2013 03:22 PM (/PCJa)

I'm much like this two, except 2 exceptions.

Once I get to know a group well enough, it's size stops being daunting.  But if newcomers arrive, I'll start to get nervous again until I'm comfortable.  So I have limited problems at family gatherings where I'm familiar with the family.  But if you mix in the family I hardly ever see it becomes a problem (ditto department gatherings.)

The other is, if I'm put in a situation where I HAVE to be extroverted for whatever reason (maybe appearances) I'll start pulling from the observed personalities of those around me.

This has lead to some interesting situations, especially early on in college, I made "friends" with people, whom frankly I shared nothing in common with, but because of circumstances I was more or less forced to interact with them.  Rather than try to figure out how much personality to reveal, I just mimicked them, even though they were nothing like me.  It's pretty hard to explain I suppose.  Ironically they thought I was a lot of fun.

You can imagine how strange I get when I have to "network" at an academic conference, because my mimic half is constantly being fought by normal half.  I don't want to mimic these people, but I think my mind sees it as a defense mechanism.

256 Stop telling me what to do!

257 I deliberately and consciously cured my extreme introversion by becoming a teacher

258 Posted by: tsrblke at July 25, 2013 03:25 PM (GaqMa)


A "science" has repeatable results, independent of who the investigator is, or what his belief systems are.


If in a generous mood, one should more properly term the study of human interaction as "small scale social statistics", where the data is never sufficient to invoke the law of large numbers!

259 Introverts: Possibly the only kind of people it is socially acceptable to tell "stop being yourself."

260 Sum Ting Wong Wi Tu Lo Ho Lee Fuk

261 Me, too! Honestly, I'm pretty sure we were separated at birth.

I trained myself to get over the self-consciousness thing though, although it does rear its head from time to time. I realized that people who like me actually like my babbling. Weird, I know.

Posted by: chique d'afrique (the artist formerly known as african chick) at July 25, 2013 03:22 PM (r+7wo)

 

 

If I'd been born in Africa, too, I would be demanding pictures to make sure we weren't long lost twins.  lol!

 

I tend to believe that people are happier without my company, so it's always a bit odd when people are all, "Hey!  I'm so glad to see you!" when I meet up with    friends    after a long time.     People puzzle me endlessly.  lol!

262 267 I deliberately and consciously cured my extreme introversion by becoming a teacher Posted by: DAve at July 25, 2013 03:33 PM (albkL) I cured mine by simply accepting the fact that I hate pretty much everybody.

263 This may be anecdotal but I bet it is true for many. My hubby, the introverted Mr. Rustic, is way happier than his brothers who are both extraverts. The bros are social animals who are so busy trying to keep up with everyone else they live way beyond their means.  Hubby, on the other hand, does not care what the rest of the world is buying or where they go on vacation. We live our lives quietly and happily and within our budget. Unlike the extraverted brothers, we don't worry how we're going to pay the property taxes each year.

264 Introversion in an of itself is not a bad thing, but you have to admit that some aspects of it can be bad. If one doesn't deal with some of the social anxiety aspects of it, then it can lead to loneliness. And asking an introvert to attempt to be more outgoing is not the same as asking him to be untrue to himself. With the exception of the first clause, I reject this in all its particulars. 1) No, I don't admit that any aspects of my introversion are bad. 2) I do not have "social anxiety." I don't like groups of people. They don't scare me, make me nervous, or cause any physical reaction (until we get to huge groups, usually of really dumb people). I just happen to be happier in my own head than dealing with groups of people. 3) I am not, nor have I ever been "lonely" to any significant degree. I do sometimes miss specific people, but see also: "happier in my own head." 4) Why on earth should I be "more outgoing" besides the fact it makes *you* (generic "you" not specifically you) feel better about me? I am not your business. 5) Asking me to be "more outgoing" is asking me to be untrue to myself- because myself is not outgoing.

265

"I do not like long awkward pauses in conversations. I will fill them, no matter if it is a funeral. Trivia. Politics. Art. Travel. Zit remedies. Anything but salad dressing enemas. "

 

Hey, you never know when a little knowledge about  picking the proper dressing for a particular situation could come in useful.     Sorta like choosing a fine wine for your squeakhole.

266 And asking an introvert to attempt to be more outgoing is not the same as asking him to be untrue to himself. 

Posted by: dan-O at July 25, 2013 03:32 PM (D0bIN)

For that matter, "true self" is malleable.   My "true self" 10 years ago was a snotty, idiot teenager - I'm not going back.    

267 Posted by: chique d'afrique (the artist formerly known as african chick) at July 25, 2013 03:22 PM (r+7wo) If I'd been born in Africa, too, I would be demanding pictures to make sure we weren't long lost twins. lol! Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit at July 25, 2013 03:35 PM (4df7R) We're demanding pictures, but for an entirely different reason.

268 we are introverts because we are *not* extroverts. did this study advise extroverts to chill the fuck out on occasion?

269 I tend to believe that people are happier without my company, so it's always a bit odd when people are all, "Hey! I'm so glad to see you!" when I meet up with friends after a long time. People puzzle me endlessly. lol!

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit at July 25, 2013 03:35 PM (4df7R)

They're probably just relieved to see that you haven't been devoured by the monster spiders infesting your home.

270

Suprised to find a majority of  posters who spend quite a bit of time on an internet blog  are  introverts.  

 

Not! 

271 I'm always hearing this advice and some years ago I tried it for a while.

All it got me was a bunch of funny looks from those above me and a whole ton of resentment from those at my level and below my level.

All levels thought I was being a huge suck-up.

I quickly went back to dressing like my work peer group.

Posted by: BlueStateRebel at July 25, 2013 03:32 PM (7ObY1)

 

 

------------------------------------------------

 

 

I work at night.  No one to suck up to.  I dress with comfort in mind.  And they still pay me well.  I'm happy with this arrangement.

272   I tend to believe that people are happier without my company, so it's always a bit odd when people are all, "Hey! I'm so glad to see you!" when I meet up with friends after a long time. People puzzle me endlessly. lol! 

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit at July 25, 2013 03:35 PM (4df7R)


AoS just wouldn't be the same without MWR and her epic rants.    

(Same for you, AtC!) 

273 I have noticed for years that feelings tend to follow actions. That's what marriage counseling basically tells couples- act in loving ways toward each other, and the loving feelings will follow. The book The Love Dare is all about this. It really works.

274

Posted by: Hrothgar at July 25, 2013 03:34 PM (XdnQT)

 

It's not even that though.  The bias in psychology is so strong that often the experiments themselves are designed to achieve only one outcome, finding the hypothesis valid.

Any other outcome isn't the result of "science at work" it's considered a poorly designed or executed experiment.

Psychology isn't alone in this.  A large chunk of clinical research in general follows this approach.

Or as an old boss put it "ANOVA is what you run when your data doesn't give you the result you like."

This is a far cry from some of the bench work I used to do, which usually started with "Evidence tells us this should work, but frankly we can't know unless we test it."

But half of our experiments ended up being abandoned because they showed ambitious to no result. (Which isn't a bad thing, it just means our hypothesis was wrong so we abandoned the line of experimentation for something more favorable.)

275 Koo-koo-ka-choo? Posted by: I Am the Walrus at July 25, 2013 03:32 PM (6H6o No, you very silly person. It had 3 syllables. And it actually meant something, and I pointed to what I was talking about.

276 did this study advise extroverts to chill the fuck out on occasion? Posted by: obamuh at July 25, 2013 03:37 PM (rNS5g) No, of course not, that would be offensive to tell those people to change their personalities to suit you or submit to a social dynamic that... Hey, wait a minute...

277 >>>I do not have "social anxiety." I don't like groups of people. They don't scare me, make me nervous, or cause any physical reaction (until we get to huge groups, usually of really dumb people). I just happen to be happier in my own head than dealing with groups of people.


That may be, but if that is the case then you are not representative of people who are extremely introverted and who *do* encounter extreme anxiety when it comes to social interactions.  To the point they avoid as much social interaction as they can.  They are not comfortable in their own skin.  And this does not make them happy.

278 Posted by: parteagirl at July 25, 2013 03:39 PM (txV6X)

But first...

279 >>>h thank fuck I can finally shriek about this.

Why, precisely, must introverts be more like extroverts? It does not make me happy to have to pretend to be something I am not.

...

Look at Grumpy McGoo over here.

280 I hate hate hate being in a crowded room. But I love going to football and baseball games and being surrounded by thousands of people. I have no explanation for this.

281

*realizes that AtC, Chique d'Afrique, MWR, et.al. and TiFW are all going to have to find a way to get together*

 

We will, of course, each have our own hotel room where we can "decompress"  and recharge  after all of  the frivolities......

282 The idea of playing a character makes me think of makeup. I know I find it much easier to be "on" when I am wearing makeup or dressed up...any other ettes (or dudes, I guess) feel the same?

283 another thing that exhausts me is crowds.

Like at Costco.  My Collision Detection and Adjustment System does not like being taxed more than once per hour.  If I have track dozens of human beings and recalibrate my vector every five seconds, I get so exhausted and so frazzled.

284

I'm still embarrassed about subjecting you to all of my blather the next day. *hides in shame*

 

PFFT!  Are you kidding?  I was all, "OMG AtC wants to talk to me!  OMG OMG OMG!"   Serious fangirling,  you have no idea.   lol!

285 I'm a big introvert, but I'm used to having to "pretend" I'm an extrovert. I'll tell you one thing -- it's exhausting.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit at July 25, 2013 02:53 PM (4df7R)

Same here.  These people don't know what the HELL they're talking about.

Here's a laugh for my fellow introverts:

sat in some class about personality types, and the self-described extrovert teacher actually sat there and said with a tolerant smile (she was a progressive too, which maybe better explains the condescension), "Well you know, we extroverts have to give the introverts a little more time when explaining new concepts because it takes them a little longer to catch up." 

Like a typical introvert I didn't say what I immediately thought: we get things every bit as fast as you, cupcake; we just don't feel the need to blab about it instantaneously.   

286

Posted by: dan-O at July 25, 2013 03:40 PM (D0bIN)

 

Balderdash.  That's at best an overgeneralization and at worse a theory that could have dangerous implications.

The DSM-V wanting to create a vision of a "normal" psychology has wrought so much horror upon us.

Next you'll be telling me if I lose a loved one and grieve for more than 6 months  I'm mentally ill. (FWIW, also in the DSM-V)

287 No, you very silly person. It had 3 syllables.

And it actually meant something, and I pointed to what I was talking about.

Posted by: chique d'afrique (the artist formerly known as african chick) at July 25, 2013 03:39 PM (r+7wo)

Silly? Yup.  Skeptical? Not really - just funning with you, chique.  But I would like to know what the word was and what it means in English.

288 I hate hate hate being in a crowded room. But I love going to football and baseball games and being surrounded by thousands of people. I have no explanation for this. Posted by: eleven at July 25, 2013 03:41 PM (KXm42) It's Randall in Clerks: You hate people. But I love gatherings.

289 213 I'm an introvert by nature but it's mostly bc I don't like people. And I hate making small talk.

Posted by: L, elle at July 25, 2013 03:23 PM (0PiQ4)

That's my downfall. I just can't make myself natter about pointless things and I get bored with morning greetings. You know, "Hi! How are you?" "I'm fine. And you?" I'm that guy who says "I'm fine" but doesn't ask you how you are because, frankly, I don't give a shit.

290 281  Often, QUITE often, people who are so introverted that they're probably Aspies come here and get chewed to pieces by the vicious assholes who don't recognize what's really going on.  It's like watching people beat up cripples

291 294 another thing that exhausts me is crowds.  Like at Costco. My Collision Detection and Adjustment System does not like being taxed more than once per hour. If I have track dozens of human beings and recalibrate my vector every five seconds, I get so exhausted and so frazzled.  
Posted by: ace at July 25, 2013 03:42 PM (/IWYB)

Living in a high density city where you are packed like sardines in mass transit during rush hour will build up your tolerance for that.    Or drive you insane.  

After you survive that, you can go love the rural life/suburbs.   

292 "Well you know, we extroverts have to give the introverts a little more time when explaining new concepts because it takes them a little longer to catch up." Posted by: not shy just quiet at July 25, 2013 03:43 PM (whMsz) "And, well, if they don't get with the program, we have camps for that!"

293 They're probably just relieved to see that you haven't been devoured by the monster spiders infesting your home.

Posted by: kathysaysso at July 25, 2013 03:37 PM (6H6o

 

lol!

 

And I see from several of the 'rons' comments that my tendency to babble is good because boob-jiggle.   I'll ahve to keep that in mind.   

294

33  Friends say let's get together and my reaction (withheld) is usually "Why?"  Ace

You have friends?  Damn, you are living large. 

295 Introvert - misanthrope.  Call me either one.

296 That may be, but if that is the case then you are not representative of people who are extremely introverted and who *do* encounter extreme anxiety when it comes to social interactions. To the point they avoid as much social interaction as they can. They are not comfortable in their own skin. And this does not make them happy. Posted by: dan-O at July 25, 2013 03:40 PM (D0bIN) Not necessarily so. I learned how to interact comfortably in large groups of people I don't know only as recently as grad school (okay, maybe not *that* recent). And I did avoid social interactions as much as I could. But I have always been happy, like 99.1% of the time, and I've always had a good amount of self-confidence. I have concluded that non-introverts don't understand the introvert experience and can't figure out how an introvert can be happy without social interaction. Introverts probably can't imagine how extroverts survive with so much social interaction, but we tend to accept that they are that way and generally don't tell them there's something wrong with them. It would be nice if extroverts paid us the same courtesy.

297 The sentence that will turn any male extrovert into an instant introvert is when the wife says, "We need to talk".

298

Posted by: ace at July 25, 2013 03:42 PM (/IWYB)

 

Meh, don't recalibrate.  I did that once, knocked a guy clear to the floor in a DC hotel.

My friends still get laughs out of it.

(Actually I didn't see him coming because we was passing behind me, so when I turned around to ask a friend something WHAM.)

For about a few seconds I was mortified and apologetic, but he jumped down my through about me being an idiot (even though he was the one moving through the lobby, I only turned 180 degrees) so I just shook my head and walked off and left him on the floor.

299 "And, well, if they don't get with the program, we have camps for that!"

Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith's Other Mobile at July 25, 2013 03:45 PM (qyfb5)

Heh - yeah, I didn't so much blame the extrovert in her as the liberal.  What a patronizing asshole. 

300

Do they not have as much time to really think about things because they're extroverts or are they extroverts so they won't have as much time to think about things???

301 Posted by: tsrblke at July 25, 2013 03:39 PM (GaqMa)

A scientific experiment might not have a desirable result, but it would be repeatable (and independent of the experimenter)!

A psychology experiment is almost impossible to repeat with different players (subjects and principle investigator) unless it is so scripted that it basically allows only one outcome (the desired one).

A clinical experiment may be somewhat repeatable, but the complexity of the interactions and the variable set of subjects make it more a statistical "trial" than an experiment.

302 lol!  And I see from several of the 'rons' comments that my tendency to babble is good because boob-jiggle. I'll ahve to keep that in mind. 

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit at July 25, 2013 03:46 PM (4df7R)


Sorry, you were saying?  

303 I'm still embarrassed about subjecting you to all of my blather the next day. *hides in shame* PFFT! Are you kidding? I was all, "OMG AtC wants to talk to me! OMG OMG OMG!" Serious fangirling, you have no idea. lol! Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit at July 25, 2013 03:43 PM (4df7R) Look. I think the important part of this story is that you and I got to blather at each other for a few hours the day after NoVaMoMee and the rest of the people there didn't. Neener neener. Neener neener. Also nood.

304 I'm not going to argue the findings per se (in general I do think social "science" is not very sciency-y) but I really think some of you missed the point of this study. They did not say INTROVERT=DEPRESSED. They said studies suggest extraverts tend to be happier than introverts. So if you are an introvert and you happen to be one who is unhappy/depressed, then this study suggests that acting like an extrovert might make you feel better. That's all. It's not a value judgment on being an introvert, it's merely suggesting a behavior to try that might not be one an introvert would even consider trying.

305

Introverts like myself can benefit by listening to the USMC rather than some dipshit professor:

 

1. Be courteous to everyone, friendly to no one.
2. Decide to be aggressive enough, quickly enough.
3. Have a plan.
4. Have a back-up plan, because the first one probably won't work.
5. Be polite, be professional, but have a plan to kill everyone you meet. 

 

I feel better already.

306 My Collision Detection and Adjustment System does not like being taxed more than once per hour.

Dramatically fewer oblivioids at WMT in the 2am-5am window. 

307 That may be, but if that is the case then you are not representative of people who are extremely introverted and who *do* encounter extreme anxiety when it comes to social interactions. To the point they avoid as much social interaction as they can. They are not comfortable in their own skin. And this does not make them happy. Social anxiety and shyness are NOT introversion. Extroverts can have social anxiety and be shy, too. Don't think that because someone gets nervous around large crowds that they're introverted. In fact, the introvert, you probably won't even notice. If you think about them at all (in a large crowd) you'll think, "wow, he's kind of a go-along-to-get-along, quiet type." Like a typical introvert I didn't say what I immediately thought: we get things every bit as fast as you, cupcake; we just don't feel the need to blab about it instantaneously. This. I don't know how often I *think* things at people. Once having thought them, it's enough that *I* know that I thought them, I don't actually have to share them with everyone.

308

I'm a cautious  extrovert.   I will analyze the situation before I dive into it  but dive I will when the all clear signal is given.  

 

I'm also weird because  I love airports , train stations , etc.   I  love staying in hotel rooms.   

309

*realizes that AtC, Chique d'Afrique, MWR, et.al. and TiFW are all going to have to find a way to get together*

We will, of course, each have our own hotel room where we can "decompress" and recharge after all of the frivolities......

 

Posted by: Teresa in Fort Worth, TX at July 25, 2013 03:42 PM (ADnWI)

 

I support this 100%.

 

I expect the 'Rons will demand    photographic evidence of at least one pillow fight, though.

310 If I have track dozens of human beings and recalibrate my vector every five seconds, I get so exhausted and so frazzled. Posted by: ace at July 25, 2013 03:42 PM (/IWYB) When I was a kid, my Mom observed she could see when my "radar" was being set off. It was like I have to track everyone around me and I can't relax when there's activity going on.

311 Silly? Yup. Skeptical? Not really - just funning with you, chique. But I would like to know what the word was and what it means in English. Posted by: kathysaysso at July 25, 2013 03:44 PM (6H6o Kathyss, I know it was a joke, I was just playing along. Maybe my post needed a smiley. Just for you: the word was okuko (aw-koo-kaw for you Americans although that doesn't really capture the sound or intonation), which means chicken in Igbo, and I did point to a chicken when I said it, so I was told.

312

Posted by: Y-not at July 25, 2013 03:48 PM (5H6zj)

 

And what of the extroverts who are unhappy, I noticed no statement that they should try to become introverts.

There is some normitization in this experiment. It's subtle but clearly there. (if not in the experiment in the reporting of it.)

313 I'm learing that  introverts are  sensitive and can be a little  testy.

314 "The ideal self and self actualization ... I am learning all about this in a psychology class I am taking."

There's a force in the universe that makes things happen; all you have to do is get in touch with it. Stop thinking...let things happen...and be...the cigar.

315 Science:  Tweeting photos of your junk will make you feel like a NYC mayor.

316 Living in a high density city where you are packed like sardines in mass transit during rush hour will build up your tolerance for that. Or drive you insane. After you survive that, you can go love the rural life/suburbs. Posted by: ConservativeMonster at July 25, 2013 03:45 PM (oY6Yp) Yep, I will never voluntarily live in a city. Too many people, too much noise and activity. Oh, and too expensive, too.

317 another thing that exhausts me is crowds. Like at Costco. My Collision Detection and Adjustment System does not like being taxed more than once per hour. If I have track dozens of human beings and recalibrate my vector every five seconds, I get so exhausted and so frazzled. Posted by: ace at July 25, 2013 03:42 PM (/IWYB) All of this. All and all and all of this. There's also the fact that, look, let's just get this out of the way, if I'm with a group of people and I'm not keeping up with them and they go down a different aisle, I can't see them and they can't see me. I have, in point of fact, had a balloon tied around my wrist so that people can find me within the last year. I focused on the whole yaaaay balloon aspect of that.

318 294 another thing that exhausts me is crowds. Like at Costco. My Collision Detection and Adjustment System does not like being taxed more than once per hour. --- Me, too, and I'm an extrovert. One awesome thing about Utah is that every Sunday we can go to a nearly empty Costco.

319 Posted by: Jaws at July 25, 2013 03:48 PM (4I3Uo)


Now that's a real set of rules for living!

320 312 By which I mean to say of course you'd probably be happier if you didn't take the time to think about things too much

321 307 Introvert - misanthrope. Call me either one. Posted by: kathysaysso at July 25, 2013 03:46 PM (6H6o You know, as extroverted as I am, I think I like people more than most. It takes a lot to get me not to like you.

322 They said studies suggest extraverts tend to be happier than introverts. And as an introvert (who knows a lot of introverts) I'm saying their studies are wrong. Their measures of happiness are designed by people who don't know what makes introverts happy, that's all. On the other hand, it is true that if you're a person who is generally unhappy, changing your behavior is one of many things it is good to do to become more happy. But that's just as true for extroverts as it is for introverts.

323   Posted by: Y-not at July 25, 2013 03:48 PM (5H6zj)

I'm a little surprised at some of responses, too.  

I guess some introverts bristle at being labeled "not normal".  (Me, I *am* not normal, so any such implication doesn't bother me)   

324 >>>Not necessarily so. I learned how to interact comfortably in large groups of people I don't know only as recently as grad school (okay, maybe not *that* recent). And I did avoid social interactions as much as I could. But I have always been happy, like 99.1% of the time, and I've always had a good amount of self-confidence.

I don't think that we are disagreeing here.  I think the problem is that the term "introvert" is an ambiguous term, and all introverts are different. 

Like I was saying before, I am more introverted by nature.  It took me until my late 20s to be able to finally feel somewhat comfortable in social situations, and ditto for many of my friends.  We talked about being introverted often.  Trust me, there are many introverts out there who are very unhappy about their lack of ability to interact with strangers comfortably. 

325 Then I think about my friends...

That because what most people think of as friends are in reality just acquaintances you're comfortable hanging around with in conditions that never test the relationship to any degree.

The old saying about friends being willing to help you move and real friends being willing to help you move bodies is pretty damn accurate. 

326 How do you identify the AoS introverts?  We're still on an old thread talking about being introverts!

327 I'm learing that introverts are sensitive and can be a little testy. Try living your whole life with the world telling you you're wrong in the head simply because you like reading more than you like small talk. It gets old. Fast. Normally we ignore it. What you're really experiencing is further proof that Introverts aren't shy: we just normally don't interact (and those are two different things). Once you get an introvert going, be prepared for a marathon, because there's a lot we'll have to say.

328 Extroverts always see introverts as a problem to be solved. We just want to be left alone. We don't like sports, drugs, or drinking till we puke and that's not a disease. If I'd rather spend the night shooting virtual bullets at my best friends I've never actually met, and that makes me happy, what's the problem? If I went out and found a long distance relationship with a girl from Germany, maybe it's not cause I'm a hopeless dork. Maybe it's because all the available women I find locally have more kids and more government agencies supporting them than they have teeth. Maybe today's extroverts, who flit around thoughtlessly and will do anything *anything* to be cool aren't the kind of people we want go emulate or associate with. So while you're screaming "Hold My Beer and Watch This, y'all" and driving perfectly good ATVs into ditches, I'll probably be at home reading about the newest way the government is screwing me. Or watching Star Wars and wishing for the umpteenth time that I had a lightsaber and an X-wing Maybe, stop and think, I'm the sane one. Maybe I just don't tolerate stupidity just because society says I should. Now frak off, it's my Guild's raid night.

329 Yep, I will never voluntarily live in a city. Too many people, too much noise and activity. Oh, and too expensive, too.

Posted by: chique d'afrique (the artist formerly known as african chick) at July 25, 2013 03:52 PM (r+7wo)

For an all too brief while, I was spending half my time in a suburban/urban area and the other half in a very rural area.  The stress level differential was just mind-boggling.

330 polynikes: "I love staying in hotel rooms."

Danger.

Bring along one of those handheld UV lights and scan the place and then say that. You'd swear extroverts had been giving each other Ranch enemas.

I denounce myself.

331

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) MFM Delenda Est at July 25, 2013 03:56 PM (/PCJa)

 

I'm not a post-modern, so I don't buy the whole "there is no Normal man, only what you are" schtick (Ironically though the PoMos are the ones who always want to change you, but whatever).

Nevertheless, there is a "range" of normal, and for some reason the people writing the DSM want to make that range as narrow as fucking possible.

To that, I will always object.

332 I think there is a difference between   being an introvert -- meaning one who is naturally more comfortable spending time alone -- and being introverted -- meaning one who spends a lot of time alone due to shyness, anxiety, depression, or   myriad other reasons.   The former is a choice, the latter is a self-imposed type of separation.   In some cases the latter group come to find that they're   genuine introverts, which can help them overcome their anxiety and shyness ("It's okay that I don't like crowds -- I'm not abnormal.").   Other times, a self-imposed introvert may find that they really ARE an extrovert, and just needed to push themselves a little bit to make that discovery.  

333 The old saying about friends being willing to help you move and real friends being willing to help you move bodies is pretty damn accurate.

Posted by: Purp at July 25, 2013 03:55 PM (spjFk)

That's why you should always stay in close touch with your family!

334 And what of the extroverts who are unhappy, I noticed no statement that they should try to become introverts. ------ I didn't see that mentioned in the study. I, for one, would be happy to have some suggestions on other ways to pull myself out of the blues for days that my current toolkit doesn't work. I just am detecting a lot of anger and defensiveness that I think is misplaced. We can *all* work harder to understand the other person's situation. For me it can be really exhausting to provide the battery in a social situation. For example, I am usually the one in a seated dinner party (or event) who draws everyone into the conversation so no one feels left out. Most people appreciate it. I do it because it comes naturally, but it comes at a price.

335 Danger.

Bring along one of those handheld UV lights and scan the place and then say that. You'd swear extroverts had been giving each other Ranch enemas.

I denounce myself.

Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at July 25, 2013 03:56 PM (eHIJJ)

 

Something only an introvert would worry about. 

 

I keed  I keed.

336 and for some reason the people writing the DSM want to make that range as narrow as fucking possible

More diagnosable people = more income diagnosing/treating them.  Their motives seem clear enough.

337 And I did avoid social interactions as much as I could. But I have always been happy, like 99.1% of the time, and I've always had a good amount of self-confidence. 
Posted by: chique d'afrique (the artist formerly known as african chick) at July 25, 2013 03:47 PM (r+7wo)


In the context of this article, being normally happy alone as an introvert, and being happier by acting the extrovert are not mutually exclusive. 

I've had various church events that I'd have preferred not to be a part of (didn't want the interaction), but came out of much happier than expected.    

One way to take that is that being a blessing to others by being focused on them instead of one's self gives some spiritual satisfaction.   Not that being alone is bad or anything - but we do have a need to interact with others. 

338 I'm extroverted and will strike up a conversation with a total stranger -- my wife and kids get nervous when I do that. But, I'm also agoraphobic in gatherings of > 100 people -- crowds make me want to punch people out. It's a fine line between the two extremes.

339 More diagnosable people = more income diagnosing/treating them. Their motives seem clear enough.

Posted by: Purp at July 25, 2013 04:00 PM (spjFk)

Then why remove trangendered?

They're motives are to create something that they see is a moral document.  They want to enshrine progressivism in the psychological codex so they can make us all progressives.

It's dangerous.  Hell, the bioethics literature is already talking about what to do if we find a way to either drug or genetically engineer people into being more "socially involved." (And I'll give you a hint, they're definition of that is nothing like ours.)

340 Posted by: ConservativeMonster at July 25, 2013 04:02 PM (v3pYe) Agreed. I sometimes make myself seek out being a blessing to others even though I enjoy my own company.

341 Then why remove trangendered?

Political correctness.  

342 And if any sane person thinks about it, transgenderism or whatever is clearly a mental pathology. People are mutilating themselves to become something they are not. Remember those jokes about the guy that thinks he's a dog or a bird? Yeah. Same thing, only worse.

343 Mayo is for pikers. Real performance artists use potato salad.

344 They're motives are to create something that they see is a moral document

Which is complete bullshit. 

Morality is inextricably bound to particular cultures or civilizations.  There's no way to extract it a pure essence form without frame of reference.

Human sacrifice, slavery, cannibalism, murder of young children, thievery, etc have all been perfectly acceptable and "moral" behaviors in some cultures.

345

Posted by: Purp at July 25, 2013 04:12 PM (spjFk)

 

And they're culture is progressivism.  They're just using the power of the medical establishment to further it.

346 Y-not: "For example, I am usually the one in a seated dinner party (or event) who draws everyone into the conversation so no one feels left out. Most people appreciate it..."

A truly valuable service. I tend to think of those people as memorable and charming. IOW, you climb the social ladder that way without looking like you're trying. So, I tip my glass to you by proxy.

347 polynikes: "Something only an introvert would worry about... keed(ing)"

I am not at all ashamed to admit my fear of salad dressing exudates. Nope. Uh-Uh. I am resoundingly introverted on this matter.

348 And they're culture is progressivism.

Progressivism is an anti-culture.  It has no intrinsic morality of its own.

i.e. Moral behavior being an inconvenience  which you abide by anyway, even when nobody is looking and you won't be caught.

349 Faking it is hard work.

350 Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at July 25, 2013 04:16 PM Thanks.

351 Dare I ask what this mayo thing is? Weiner-related?

352 Hmm. I read a study awhile back that found the physical act of smiling releases endorphins and actually makes you FEEL happier. Is this what we're talking about here? I also think (based on the comments) there are a few extroverts on here who think of themselves as introverts.

353 I'm an extrovert married to an introvert.... 98% of the time my husband lives and works in a self reinforced cocoon.  The few times that we get him to go out for a family dinner or gathering, he always enjoys himself. 

What he fails to see is that his need for isolation, leaves the impression that he can't be bothered to share his time with other people which creates lots of hurts feelings and communication problems.

354 An I.Q. the size of a planet and they have me cleaning out the hamster wheel. Sure, that's going to make me happy.

See? I just tried acting upbeat and it didn't work.

355 Dare I ask what this mayo thing is? Weiner-related?
Google Bing "mayonnaise", "enema" and "Winnipeg" if you dare but what does it matter when we're all going to be dead 2 billion years from now when the universe ends.

See? I tried again and it still didn't work.

356 And now I'm commenting on a dead thread that no one will ever, ever read. What a waste of time.

357 On the other hand, it might conceivably cease to be an imposture. Actors can and have become the characters they play -- Cary Grant, John Wayne, Ronald Reagan, not to mention the legendary old Hollywood character who spent his free time in a stovepipe hat and shawl, in a rocking chair, waiting for somebody to make a picture with Abraham Lincoln in it. Anyway, if I had your gifts as a blogger, I'd feel pretty happy a lot of the time.

358

Anybody ever read "Party of One" by Analee Rufus?  Her essays on the gifts of  introversion are highly recommended for those of us happy hermits who need a little ammunition to support our pathetic claims to normalcy.  Plus, she can be really devastating about soul-sucking Extros who constantly whine "How come you never call?", and remark "She never has anybody over!", when in reality you are plenty friendly around kindred souls.  I think she is spot on about extroverts not particularly caring WHO they are friends with; they buy for bulk, not quality.

How introverted was I as a kid?  I would seek time alone at my own birthday party. 

And yet, I can be the loudest, crudest beastie if I'm with my tribe. 

 

359 marvin the paranoid android: "And now I'm commenting on a dead thread that no one will ever, ever read. What a waste of time."

I read it, so perk up you worthless bucket of bolts and wire.

360 Stop making people feel guilty because we stare at the ravening mob and think stay the fuck away from me you damn dirty apes. Posted by: alexthechick - Commence drinking now. at July 25, 2013 03:17 PM (VtjlW) What she said...

361 17 & 21 yes, major theme with Prager (action leads to reality / actions are what matters anyways). Agree He also brings this up in a religious context: follow one more law, and you'll feel more holy. Worked for me when I quit shellfish (as a Jew) #wisdomyoulearn Another connection, if you are physically forced to smile -like a pencil in your teeth making frowns hard to do- you will feel happier. #stupidshityoulearn

362 Anthony Wiener stands out as the happiest man in the world.

363 Couple of points that are easy to get confused when point make this an extrovert vs. introvert thing: 1) Yes, I'm an introvert. And, as many introvert advocates try to explain, I'm not unhappy just because I'm not "having fun." Working on something or reading or whatever by myself IS fun. 2) That said, introverts could be less defensive. Too much introverted behavior CAN lead to depression. And I agree from experience: it's fun to "fake it till you make it" as an extrovert.... 3) ... from time to time. Someone who told me to act extroverted all the time is an idiot. I'm not going to be happy playing against nature. I enjoy socializing once I make myself do it, but it does take effort. It's not effort I can keep up all the time. And, if I have to try it for too long, I will get tired and unhappy. Probably all works in reverse from an extrovert's point of view. You CAN train even the most extroverty of extroverts to take some quiet time to contemplate, and actually learn to enjoy it, and have a richer life because of it. But good try making them do it all the time unless you have a prison handy. They'll be miserable.

364 what utter bullshit.

the only thing between me and happiness is 50 or 60 IQ points.

if i could lose those, and never know i had them, i could be as happy as all the idiots around me, ignoring what's happening in the world & the economy, and, instead, being concerned with who's getting voted off of which "reality" tv show.

ignorance IS bliss, and i am surrounded by happy people.

365 >>But good **luck try making them do it all the time unless you have a prison handy. They'll be miserable. ... a.k.a. grade school.

366 It's just cognitive therapy, no?

367

Knocking back shots of tequila turns me into a happy extrovert.

368 #77 "In the past my secret to being an extrovert was booze. Now I'm old enough to just not give a shit what people think of me." Yup. I think I'm in a transitional phase between the two.

369 Interesting that scientists learn this as adults. My dad taught me this when I was a little kid. "Quit yer ballin or I'll give you something to really cry about."

370 I'm a major introvert and I find small talk exhausting and torturous. I don't know what to say, when I really just want to tear my hair out and scream. Instead, I smile sweetly and I think to myself, "What would I say if I cared?" And then I say that thing. and people think I'm nice.

371

Why in the world would I want to act like an extrovert? As an INFP who puts sincerity above all else, acting like one of those annoying in your face loud mouths would be horrific for me. I am an expressive introvert that is often mistaken for an extrovert because people assume that if you are outgoing you must be one, nothing could be further from the truth.

Here is a question for any extrovert that is reading this..............why must you talk nonstop just to hear your own voice? I really don't care what you have to say.

I am the introverted version of the honey badger, don't care what people think of me and I dance to my own drummer.