Ace of Spades HQ

June 17, 2013

Science: Meet the Whale-Taming Woman Who Swims Butt-Naked With Beluga Whales
— Ace

There are pictures, and she is butt-naked in them, but remember, this is Science, and she's learning about swimming naked with Beluga whales.

Well actually it's not about Science (TM) per se, it's about taming whales, about getting them to be okay with human beings and confinement so they can be carted off to aquariums -- "dolphinariums," this article calls them -- around the world.

She swims butt-naked in arctic ice, by the way.

The average human could die if left in sub-zero temperature sea water for just five minutes.
However, Natalia is a yoga expert and used meditation techniques to hold her breath and stay under water for an incredible ten minutes and 40 seconds.

Not so much "news" as "I can't believe that's a job."

(In which American workers just couldn't cut it, of course.)

via @MTotenkopf

Oh: I know the original expression is "buck naked," but since Eddie Murphy said "butt-naked" in his first HBO special, that's been the way to say it, at least for me.

Posted by: Ace at 01:22 PM | Comments (204)
Post contains 192 words, total size 1 kb.

Not so much science as nutty impossible nonsense.

The human body has the limits it has, I don't care how much yoga you do.

Posted by: BurtTC at June 17, 2013 01:24 PM (TOk1P)

2 All I read was "butt naked"

Posted by: L, elle at June 17, 2013 01:24 PM (0PiQ4)

3 I sure hope those whales like cottage cheese.

Posted by: mugiwara at June 17, 2013 01:24 PM (hpYnL)

4 That is some seriously cold cooter right there.

Posted by: Tobacco Road at June 17, 2013 01:24 PM (4Mv1T)

5 I suppose that swimming with the whales is better that sleeping with the fishes.

Posted by: carlito at June 17, 2013 01:25 PM (LlHgu)

6 WTF? All we get is dudes in wet suits.

Posted by: Killer Whales at June 17, 2013 01:26 PM (qRasw)

7 Are those store bought?

Posted by: dogfish at June 17, 2013 01:26 PM (nsOJa)

8

Has anyone else noticed the American media has completely closed ranks?

I mean, totally...

It is fucking un-nerving.

The Brits are covering these huge stories...ones that involve the government attacking the citizenry.

How does this end well?

Posted by: Rev dr John Boehner at June 17, 2013 01:26 PM (raGXo)

9 Sounds like that idiot who wandered off into the forest butt naked up near Seattle and hasn't been seen since.

Posted by: waldo at June 17, 2013 01:26 PM (RZwdH)

10 Only Spock can swim with whales

http://youtu.be/CPztpGBrfD8

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at June 17, 2013 01:26 PM (UVBO7)

11 She just wants an excuse to go skinny dipping.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit at June 17, 2013 01:26 PM (0HooB)

12 Earth heads into WW3 and we get swimming with whale stories. Crustations hardest hit.

Posted by: Jack at June 17, 2013 01:27 PM (gWHwW)

13 Is that a baluga whale or are you just happy to see me?

Posted by: BurtTC at June 17, 2013 01:27 PM (TOk1P)

14 EWWwwwwOOooo!

it's like play-doh and bacon and cottage cheese !

EWWWwwOOoooo!

Posted by: Beluga chatter- decoded at June 17, 2013 01:27 PM (EZl54)

15 Not so much science as nutty impossible nonsense. The human body has the limits it has, I don't care how much yoga you do.

Posted by: BurtTC at June 17, 2013 05:24 PM (TOk1P)

Your point would be valid if humans were churned out identically on a factory line.

The limits are a range, further modified by training and experience.

Posted by: ConservativeMonster at June 17, 2013 01:27 PM (ioT3q)

16 Not buying it. What the whales are allergic to diving suits? Can't even wear some insulation around her core? Something smells fishy.

Posted by: Flatbush Joe at June 17, 2013 01:28 PM (ZPrif)

17 Beluga whales have very punchable faces.

Posted by: Serious Cat at June 17, 2013 01:28 PM (UypUQ)

18 I'd hit it.

Posted by: some horny dolphin at June 17, 2013 01:28 PM (Kppp9)

19 The Belugas are still vainly searching for the sardines they were certain they smelled in the water.

Posted by: Vashta Nerada at June 17, 2013 01:28 PM (gJyfA)

20 Because swimming in a wetsuit is so off putting to beluga whales. Snobs.

Posted by: dogfish at June 17, 2013 01:28 PM (nsOJa)

21 And in that water, at that temperature...if she gets stuck under the ice she can just roll onto her back, ease her nipples up against the ice and swim in a circle to cut a hole.

Posted by: JEM at June 17, 2013 01:29 PM (o+SC1)

22 Meh. Not doin' it for me.

Posted by: Tobacco Road at June 17, 2013 01:29 PM (4Mv1T)

23 Whatever happened to "buck naked"?

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at June 17, 2013 01:29 PM (8ZskC)

24 Is it a coincidence that all those whales look like giant dicks?

Posted by: Vic at June 17, 2013 01:29 PM (lZvxr)

25 Since this comes from Russia, I don't believe it. Hypothermia is hypothermia and yoga won't stop it. If this is factual then she is nothing but a kgb "honey trap" for poor little whales.

Posted by: waldo at June 17, 2013 01:29 PM (RZwdH)

26 I can only image the search Ace was actually doing when this story popped up.

Posted by: dogfish at June 17, 2013 01:29 PM (nsOJa)

"Something smells fishy"

Are belugas as rapey as dolphins?

Posted by: MM at June 17, 2013 01:30 PM (ZMhO7)

28 And the hoard goes wild...

Posted by: Arms Merchant at June 17, 2013 01:30 PM (5RUlF)

29 You had me at "butt"

Posted by: Arms Merchant at June 17, 2013 01:31 PM (5RUlF)

30 Heh. How you doin'?

Posted by: Flipper at June 17, 2013 01:31 PM (8ZskC)

31 Natalia Avseenko, 36, was persuaded to strip naked as marine experts believe belugas do not like to be touched by artificial materials such as diving suits.

This sounds almost as promising for a date night as the Pancake Gambit.

Posted by: Waterhouse at June 17, 2013 01:31 PM (Kppp9)

32
Does this Beluga make my butt look big?

Posted by: Whale Chick at June 17, 2013 01:32 PM (g5YAm)

33 Belugas aren't rapey are they?

Posted by: Jane D'oh at June 17, 2013 01:32 PM (lVPtV)

34 Those dolphins? They have reason to be horny. http://tinyurl.com/m47joso There's only so much a mammal can take.

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at June 17, 2013 01:32 PM (GEICT)

35 Are the whales allergic to clothing or dive suits (whatever those things are called)?

Posted by: chique d'afrique (the artist formerly known as african chick) at June 17, 2013 01:32 PM (r+7wo)

I don't see no stompy boots, but them elbows appear to be mighty pointy.

"The longest time to hold the breath underwater is 18 min 32.59 sec and was achieved by Karoline Mariechen Meyer (Brazil) at the Racer Academy swimming pool, Florianopolis, Brazil, on 10 July 2009."

On a secondary note I'll volunteer to find out how long she can kiss.

Posted by: Gmac at June 17, 2013 01:32 PM (IanLz)

37 Anyone else would be arrested.

Posted by: Craig Poe at June 17, 2013 01:32 PM (BVkEs)

38 "Natalia Avseenko, 36, was persuaded to strip naked as marine experts believe belugas do not like to be touched by artificial materials such as diving suits."
Uh-huh...So that's what they guys on board told you, Natalia?

Posted by: PJ at June 17, 2013 01:32 PM (ZWaLo)

39 That water is cold I tell ya, and don't laugh..

Posted by: Buck Naked at June 17, 2013 01:33 PM (qRasw)

40 Ever ride a narwhal tusk first?

Posted by: Natalia Avseenko at June 17, 2013 01:33 PM (8ZskC)

41 Where's Tilikum?

Posted by: jakeman at June 17, 2013 01:33 PM (96M6e)

42 She claims to be able to hold her breath for over ten minutes.

Sounds like a veteran of one too many Dutch Ovens in the cold Siberian winter.

I bet if we were to look at this story closely enough there would be a translation error between "female Russian scientist" and "drunk broad" somewhere at the heart of it.

Posted by: Thatch at June 17, 2013 01:33 PM (qYvEa)

43 Shrinkage.

Posted by: George Constanza at June 17, 2013 01:33 PM (vDzW2)

44 You could cut glass with those nipples.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at June 17, 2013 01:33 PM (8ZskC)

45 Cheez-it! My wife!

Posted by: Bob Beluga at June 17, 2013 01:33 PM (MMC8r)

46 One day we'll hear she was squirted through a whales blowhole. Nature is not your friend.

Posted by: chique d'afrique (the artist formerly known as african chick) at June 17, 2013 01:33 PM (r+7wo)

47 Did you see how she was dressed!?

Posted by: Beluga Defense Attny at June 17, 2013 01:34 PM (Sv44W)

48 Your point would be valid if humans were churned out identically on a factory line.

That comes in Phase 2

Posted by: Prism at June 17, 2013 01:34 PM (eV1I0)

49 She claims to be able to hold her breath for over ten minutes. I know of a way we can test that.

Posted by: zsasz at June 17, 2013 01:34 PM (MMC8r)

50 I am so fucking my mitten right now!

Posted by: That Scientist in the parka at June 17, 2013 01:34 PM (Hx2XA)

51 I'll have a Filet 'o Fish please... PS: From the last thread; "tuna" means cunt in Hungarian.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at June 17, 2013 01:34 PM (+98Gb)

52 Hmmmm, I resemble a Beluga whale...maybe there's a chance....

Posted by: Country Singer at June 17, 2013 01:34 PM (U22Yw)

53 Oh quit your blubbering.

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at June 17, 2013 01:34 PM (pxDth)

54 What smells like tuna?

Posted by: A Beluga at June 17, 2013 01:34 PM (8ZskC)

55
Deep too.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at June 17, 2013 01:34 PM (g5YAm)

56 "Well actually it's not about Science (TM) per se, it's about taming whales, about getting them to be okay with human beings and confinement so they can be carted off to aquariums -- "dolphinariums," this article calls them -- around the world. She swims butt-naked in arctic ice, by the way. The average human could die if left in sub-zero temperature sea water for just five minutes. However, Natalia is a yoga expert and used meditation techniques to hold her breath and stay under water for an incredible ten minutes and 40 seconds." Well, it's definitely not about Science(TM) per se. It seems to be some sort of propaganda piece in favor of Buddhism/Orientalism/Eastern Mysticism. She can hold her breath for 10:40? Because Vishnu? Ok, then. (As an aside, Hitler's Hindu spiritual adviser told him that he was the reincarnation of Vishnu.) (#politicallyredactedandcorrectedhistoryisGay)

Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at June 17, 2013 01:35 PM (5PQkc)

57 And of course, there's the titillation aspect to it too.

Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at June 17, 2013 01:35 PM (5PQkc)

58 I was in the North Atlantic!

Posted by: George Costanza at June 17, 2013 01:35 PM (Sv44W)

59 It ain't the sperm whale; it's the whale sperm.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at June 17, 2013 01:35 PM (+98Gb)

60 It was a Beluga Whale, in the Arctic Ocean, with a tail kick.

Posted by: Dr Spank at June 17, 2013 01:35 PM (qRasw)

61 Quackery, that's what this is. Now, let me tell you about nothing.

Posted by: CAC at June 17, 2013 01:35 PM (3jAUa)

62 10 minutes and 40 seconds. Not only did she excite a couple of whales she probably broke the world record for free diving. In freezing cold water no less. Uh huh.

Posted by: JackStraw at June 17, 2013 01:35 PM (g1DWB)

63
" marine experts believe belugas do not like to be touched
by artificial materials such as diving suits."

How about diamond hard nipples?

Posted by: Just for science at June 17, 2013 01:35 PM (Opo0Q)

64 That water is cold I tell ya, and don't laugh.. Posted by: Buck Naked
-------------------------------------------
Deep, too.

*rim shot*

Posted by: Tobacco Road at June 17, 2013 01:35 PM (4Mv1T)

65 If she's willing to dress up like a walrus, I can get her free room and board.

Posted by: edj[/i] at June 17, 2013 01:36 PM (9Ko7L)

66 59 "...Because Vishnu?..." Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at June 17, 2013 05:35 PM Nothing. Vishnu with you?

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at June 17, 2013 01:36 PM (+98Gb)

67 I love Beluga whales. They are way near the top of my list of awesome animals.
They will kill you dead. I'm also a little bit confuzzled on why she has to be nekkid.

Posted by: alexthechick - Mmmm. Blondes with whipped cream. at June 17, 2013 01:36 PM (VtjlW)

68 missed it by THAT much

Posted by: Tobacco Road at June 17, 2013 01:37 PM (4Mv1T)

69 Is there any excuse that liberals won't use to be naked somewhere stupid at any time?

Posted by: © Sponge at June 17, 2013 01:37 PM (xmcEQ)

70 Baby, once you go black and white, you never go back.

Posted by: Shamu at June 17, 2013 01:37 PM (8ZskC)

71 "64 Quackery, that's what this is. Now, let me tell you about nothing. Posted by: CAC at June 17, 2013 05:35 PM (3jAUa) " The obsession with nothingness also stems from Aryan (Indic) mysticism.

Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at June 17, 2013 01:37 PM (5PQkc)

72 I'd like to see her try nekkid diving with a pod of killer whales.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at June 17, 2013 01:37 PM (lVPtV)

73 37 Are the whales allergic to clothing or dive suits (whatever those things are called)? Posted by: chique d'afrique (the artist formerly known as african chick) at June 17, 2013 05:32 PM (r+7wo) Neoprene.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at June 17, 2013 01:37 PM (+98Gb)

74 I'm also a little bit confuzzled on why she has to be nekkid. Because if she weren't, we wouldn't give a shit.

Posted by: zsasz at June 17, 2013 01:37 PM (MMC8r)

>>> I'm also a little bit confuzzled on why she has to be nekkid.

So people will pay attention.

Posted by: garrett at June 17, 2013 01:38 PM (Sv44W)

76 I'm also a little bit confuzzled on why she has to be nekkid. Posted by: alexthechick - Mmmm. Blondes with whipped cream. at June 17, 2013 05:36 PM (VtjlW) She's an exhibitionist. Whales are just an excuse.

Posted by: chique d'afrique (the artist formerly known as african chick) at June 17, 2013 01:38 PM (r+7wo)

77 Hey, WTF??

Posted by: A Manatee at June 17, 2013 01:38 PM (8ZskC)

78 Is that German for Land Graft? Or Land Shark?

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at June 17, 2013 01:38 PM (UVBO7)

79 Why, when there is a nekkid lady in the news, be it for "science" or protest,... why is it never someone with a sizable bosom?

Posted by: CAC at June 17, 2013 01:39 PM (3jAUa)

80 As a way to not go too far off topic, I'll interject with "butt naked" is the way to go. That said, it pissed me off sooo much that my local news just aired a segment about the miss America "scandal" and her response to the cooked question. Let me suggest that every one of us demand each local news source that adds their nonsense view to this nonsense "story" disclose salaries for all on-air personality. Let's see how large the discrepancy (of any). And of they show a difference, explain why.

Posted by: shredded chi at June 17, 2013 01:39 PM (5QTeW)

81 Nothing. Vishnu with you?

Posted by: J.J. Sefton

Gesundheit.

Posted by: Dang at June 17, 2013 01:39 PM (Hx2XA)

82 I'd hit it

Posted by: weew the land mammal at June 17, 2013 01:39 PM (ElfHn)

PS: From the last thread; "tuna" means cunt in Hungarian.

I knew it!

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit at June 17, 2013 01:39 PM (0HooB)

84 70 I love Beluga whales. They are way near the top of my list of awesome animals. They will kill you dead. I'm also a little bit confuzzled on why she has to be nekkid. Posted by: alexthechick - Mmmm. Blondes with whipped cream. at June 17, 2013 05:36 PM (VtjlW) We have Norwegian friends who retired to, of all places Svalbard (Spitsbergen). They kept inviting me to visit so I could dive and swim with the killer whales. Yes, that's just how a middle-aged Yid from Brooklyn wants to spend his vacation.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at June 17, 2013 01:39 PM (+98Gb)

Fuckin' slut.

Trying to cut in on my action!?

Posted by: HornyFemaleDolphin at June 17, 2013 01:39 PM (Sv44W)

86 88 PS: From the last thread; "tuna" means cunt in Hungarian. I knew it! Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit at June 17, 2013 05:39 PM (0HooB) Want to know what "buzz" means?

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at June 17, 2013 01:39 PM (+98Gb)

87 whoa. Youtube video with her talking and stuff. Not nekkid.

Hawt

http://tinyurl.com/kgkhk6t

Posted by: T. Hunter at June 17, 2013 01:40 PM (EZl54)

88 Rosie O'Donnell should try this, to see how quickly beluga whales learn to walk on land.

Posted by: zsasz at June 17, 2013 01:40 PM (MMC8r)

89 "69 59 "...Because Vishnu?..." Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at June 17, 2013 05:35 PM Nothing. Vishnu with you? Posted by: J.J. Sefton at June 17, 2013 05:36 PM (+98Gb) " "Nothing under the sun is new, neither is any man able to say: Behold this is new: for it hath already gone before in the ages that were before us. There is no remembrance of former things: nor indeed of those things which hereafter are to come, shall there be any remembrance with them that shall be in the latter end."

Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at June 17, 2013 01:40 PM (5PQkc)

90 Rapey? I don't know, she's kind of asking for it?

Posted by: Flipper so horny at June 17, 2013 01:40 PM (Aif/5)

91 90 Beluga whales have long been exploited by the super richfor their caviar. Posted by: LIV Expert at June 17, 2013 05:39 PM (yn6XZ) Cliff Klaven in the house. ladies and germs...

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at June 17, 2013 01:40 PM (+98Gb)

92 One Russian moonbat can supply enough blubber for an entire winter's worth of cooking fuel.

Posted by: Nanook the Eskimo at June 17, 2013 01:40 PM (8ZskC)

93 great. now belugas are tricking bitches out of their panties.

Posted by: X at June 17, 2013 01:41 PM (KHo8t)

94 "The Federal Housing Finance Agency has hired Charles Landgraf, who appears to be a currently registered lobbyist, as an advisor to help form policy on a product involved in mortgage lending called Â“force-place insurance.Â” Landgraf lobbies for a major bank on that exact issue." Posted by: weft cut-loop at June 17, 2013 05:37 PM (XS/b3) Arrrgggh. *looks for kitten to punch in face* I spent a part of last week explaining to a company that my boss will happily sue them into oblivion for force placing insurance on a house that a. has insurance, b. the premiums were paid up and c. was the *wrong fucking house*.

Posted by: alexthechick - Mmmm. Blondes with whipped cream. at June 17, 2013 01:41 PM (VtjlW)

95 I think there was a 2 Live Crew song that had the lyric "Butt booty ass naked" in it somewhere. I'm fine with it. Ice-T had a song that said "Let's get buck naked and fuck" so I can take it either way. The point remains the same.

Posted by: © Sponge at June 17, 2013 01:41 PM (xmcEQ)

96 Maybe tomorrow Mary Poppins PPP could regale us with a Beluga Lugosi story.

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at June 17, 2013 01:41 PM (pxDth)

97 I thought it was stark naked. She isn't looking for a guy in a walrus suit too?

Posted by: Bertram Cabot Jr. at June 17, 2013 01:41 PM (zdlKj)

98 I prefer "buck naked" just for the fact it has a waft of racism about it.

Posted by: Dang at June 17, 2013 01:42 PM (Hx2XA)

99 The whales have a 503C-4 because shut up.

Posted by: Beto at June 17, 2013 01:42 PM (VWfCN)

100 Belugas. They're white and so is Dr. Esther Fucking Williamski. Racism, straight up.

Posted by: George Orwell what knows Lois Lerner lies at June 17, 2013 01:42 PM (xw77v)

101 78 Not even hiding it anymore: "The Federal Housing Finance Agency has hired Charles Landgraf, who appears to be a currently registered lobbyist, as an advisor to help form policy on a product involved in mortgage lending called Â“force-place insurance.Â” Landgraf lobbies for a major bank on that exact issue." Posted by: weft cut-loop at June 17, 2013 05:37 PM (XS/b3) Charles Landgraf. One little letter away from Land-Grab. Fitting.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at June 17, 2013 01:42 PM (+98Gb)

102 Beluga whales have long been exploited by the super richfor their caviar.

Molon labe, bitchez.

Posted by: A Beluga at June 17, 2013 01:42 PM (8ZskC)

103 Beluga whales have long been exploited by the super richfor their caviar. Posted by: LIV Expert at June 17, 2013 05:39 PM (yn6XZ) Fuckin 1%ers.......killemall.

Posted by: © Sponge at June 17, 2013 01:42 PM (xmcEQ)

104 Beluga? I barely knew her!

Posted by: lincolntf at June 17, 2013 01:42 PM (ZshNr)

105 102 Maybe tomorrow Mary Poppins PPP could regale us with a Beluga Lugosi story. Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at June 17, 2013 05:41 PM (pxDth) LOL!

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at June 17, 2013 01:42 PM (+98Gb)

106 "84 Why, when there is a nekkid lady in the news, be it for "science" or protest,... why is it never someone with a sizable bosom? Posted by: CAC at June 17, 2013 05:39 PM (3jAUa) " Because few people give away for free that which is worth something. :-P

Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at June 17, 2013 01:42 PM (5PQkc)

107 We have Norwegian friends who retired to, of all places Svalbard (Spitsbergen). They kept inviting me to visit so I could dive and swim with the killer whales. Yes, that's just how a middle-aged Yid from Brooklyn wants to spend his vacation. Posted by: J.J. Sefton at June 17, 2013 05:39 PM (+98Gb) I'm going to go out on a limb and say they are trying to kill you.

Posted by: alexthechick - Mmmm. Blondes with whipped cream. at June 17, 2013 01:43 PM (VtjlW)

108
She's got pointy elbows.

Posted by: Moby Dick at June 17, 2013 01:43 PM (mgl7C)

109 Nice OT reference MUMR. And I don't mean off topic. Appropriate for the current news. What's old is new again.

Posted by: Tobacco Road at June 17, 2013 01:43 PM (4Mv1T)

110 I use arcane yoga techniques to hold my liquor for up to ten minutes and forty seconds..

Posted by: George Orwell what knows Lois Lerner lies at June 17, 2013 01:43 PM (xw77v)

111 Belugas have a small hump on their heads used for echo-location and it was thought that there would be more chance of striking up a rapport with them without clothes as a barrier. For a moment there I was afraid it wouldn't make sense.

Posted by: edj[/i] at June 17, 2013 01:44 PM (9Ko7L)

112 Tyrion, my wayward son.

Posted by: Tywin Lannister - Closet Kansas Fan at June 17, 2013 01:44 PM (Sv44W)

113 Of course it's a girl swimming naked. I mean I guy could not do that because of shrinkaze. I mean what would a female Beluga Whale think? I mean do they know about shrinkaze?

Posted by: Nevergiveup at June 17, 2013 01:45 PM (9Bj8R)

114 "115 Nice OT reference MUMR. And I don't mean off topic. Appropriate for the current news. What's old is new again. Posted by: Tobacco Road at June 17, 2013 05:43 PM (4Mv1T) " :-)

Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at June 17, 2013 01:45 PM (5PQkc)

115 Belugas have a small hump on their heads used for echo-location And here I thought it was for holding your bottle of beer.

Posted by: George Orwell what knows Lois Lerner lies at June 17, 2013 01:45 PM (xw77v)

116 Well, :-(

Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at June 17, 2013 01:45 PM (5PQkc)

117 I'm perfectly OK with touching them even if they are artificial.

Posted by: WalrusRex at June 17, 2013 01:45 PM (XUKZU)

118 Put me down for $5 billion.

Posted by: Henry Chu, A Nobel Laureate at June 17, 2013 01:46 PM (8ZskC)

119 Hope she doesn't swim into some dolphins aka rapists of the sea. They don't give a shit about your gender studies degree.

Posted by: Adam Smith's Invisible Pimp Hand at June 17, 2013 01:46 PM (b9K4P)

120 This thread has made me free willy.

Posted by: WalrusRex at June 17, 2013 01:46 PM (XUKZU)

121 If you could train a narwhal I see the makings of a great Cirque de Soleil act.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at June 17, 2013 01:47 PM (8ZskC)

122 Sure, jump in. The water's fine. But first, you will blow hole me.

Posted by: Billy Beluga at June 17, 2013 01:47 PM (Hx2XA)

123 Maybe if Natalia succeeds in befriending these belugas, she can vajazzle the females.

Posted by: George Orwell what knows Lois Lerner lies at June 17, 2013 01:47 PM (xw77v)

124 "127 This thread has made me free willy. Posted by: WalrusRex at June 17, 2013 05:46 PM (XUKZU) " Flipper? I don't even like/know her.

Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at June 17, 2013 01:47 PM (5PQkc)

125 White supremacist who named his son Adolf Hitler proposes to girlfriend in full Nazi regalia http://goo.gl/wlChY Hahahaha! What is she suppose to be? A Nazi waiter?

Posted by: waldo at June 17, 2013 01:48 PM (RZwdH)

126 It's my stage name.

Posted by: Buck Naked at June 17, 2013 01:48 PM (7BV/9)

127 1) Some people can swim in freezing water. 2) Some people can hold their breath underwater, even while swimming, for ten minutes. 3) Some people do yoga. Now, I doubt that the yoga-ey yogic yoga *causes* the first two, but I don't think it's impossible that the three could exist in one person. Though if that person did exist, I would expect them to be Russian. Also a BAC of about .5 might have something to do with it. It's like antifreeze, you know.

Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith[/i][/b][/s][/u] at June 17, 2013 01:49 PM (qyfb5)

128 Public aquariums are fine, but let's consider stocking one with a tank full of nude female Russian doctorates.

Posted by: George Orwell what knows Lois Lerner lies at June 17, 2013 01:49 PM (xw77v)

129 No wonder that whale is smiling. About to get some strange. Some really strange.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at June 17, 2013 01:49 PM (Z2Bkq)

130 Smells like salt and krill.

Posted by: Mr. Feverhead at June 17, 2013 01:49 PM (SzAZ7)

131 With the shrinkage factor in water that cold who's to say we're not ogling some Russian dude with moobs?

Blechh

Posted by: Tobacco Road at June 17, 2013 01:50 PM (4Mv1T)

132 If I ever come across Natalia while fishing, it sure as hell won't be "catch and release."

Posted by: George Orwell what knows Lois Lerner lies at June 17, 2013 01:50 PM (xw77v)

133 Two year old story.
But still good to see a heart-warming tale like this one!

Posted by: looking closely at June 17, 2013 01:50 PM (04kJj)

134 "134 1) Some people can swim in freezing water. 2) Some people can hold their breath underwater, even while swimming, for ten minutes. 3) Some people do yoga. Now, I doubt that the yoga-ey yogic yoga *causes* the first two, but I don't think it's impossible that the three could exist in one person. Though if that person did exist, I would expect them to be Russian. Also a BAC of about .5 might have something to do with it. It's like antifreeze, you know. Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith at June 17, 2013 05:49 PM (qyfb5) " Wait, do Belushi Whales have the Buddha nature (whatever that is)?

Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at June 17, 2013 01:50 PM (5PQkc)

135 Hey, we don't get a lot of nude Russian scientists in here...

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at June 17, 2013 01:51 PM (8ZskC)

136 "135 I wanna see her swim nekkid with octupussesesesssesss. Posted by: Some Jap Perv at June 17, 2013 05:49 PM (yn6XZ) " The oldest piece/"work" of "Hentai" consists of a woman getting it on with an octopus. #themoreyouknow

Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at June 17, 2013 01:52 PM (5PQkc)

137 Did she find a golf ball in the blowhole? Because I'm missing one....

Posted by: Cosmo at June 17, 2013 01:52 PM (Jye7B)

138 I stand by my original assessment that this Ms. Avseenko is a supervillainess in the making.

Posted by: Professor Marius von Totenkopf (formerly Hoss Fuentes) at June 17, 2013 01:52 PM (aozUR)

139 Alright, who's the moron in the beluga suit? 'Fess up.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at June 17, 2013 01:52 PM (Z2Bkq)

140

Whoa, just watched that YooToob vid of her.

I'd hit it.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit at June 17, 2013 01:52 PM (0HooB)

141 I'm glad Science has cured cancer and can now focus on frivolities. Thanks Science!

Posted by: Dr Spank at June 17, 2013 01:53 PM (qRasw)

142 "Natalia is a yoga expert and used meditation techniques to hold her breath and stay under water for an incredible ten minutes and 40 seconds."

I can hold a diver under water for 11 minutes.

Posted by: Billy Beluga at June 17, 2013 01:53 PM (Hx2XA)

143 There's a flying squid joke in there someplace but right now, I got nuttin'.

Posted by: Cicero Kid can hold his breath underwater for 20 seconds. at June 17, 2013 01:53 PM (jz0+s)

144 I'm only interested in this story because "Tea Party" is just IRS shorthand for "naked Russian woman scientist foreplay with Beluga whales."

Posted by: George Orwell what knows Lois Lerner lies at June 17, 2013 01:54 PM (xw77v)

145 My willy also has a wider range of 'facial expressions' due to a more flexible bone structure.

Posted by: Count de Monet at June 17, 2013 01:54 PM (7BV/9)

146 "151 "Natalia is a yoga expert and used meditation techniques to hold her breath and stay under water for an incredible ten minutes and 40 seconds." I can hold a diver under water for 11 minutes. Posted by: Billy Beluga at June 17, 2013 05:53 PM (Hx2XA) " #kennedydiditfirst

Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at June 17, 2013 01:54 PM (5PQkc)

147

we don't get a lot of nude Russian scientists in here...

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at June 17, 2013 05:51 PM (8ZskC)

Zdravstvuj.

How you doin'?

Posted by: Naked Nikoli Korotkov at June 17, 2013 01:55 PM (Sv44W)

148 I think she is doing this to make other sea creatures totally afraid of considering eating a human. Right now there is whale song buzzing around the world's oceans that goes something like - "duuuude no fucking way""

Posted by: Berserker at June 17, 2013 01:55 PM (FMbng)

149 Timothy Treadwell could not be reached for comment. Because he's dead! I suppose Beluga whales aren't really man-eaters. Getting hit with one of those tails would probably wreck your day. She should ask Charles McVay how swimming with wild animals usually works out. Except he's dead too.

Posted by: FART at June 17, 2013 01:55 PM (erQJO)

150 Also a BAC of about .5 might have something to do with it. It's like antifreeze, you know.

I miss Wisconsin.

Posted by: HeatherRadish™ needs a beer at June 17, 2013 01:55 PM (ZKzrr)

151 She's a yoga mistress? Hmmm, that means she's really flexible, right?

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit at June 17, 2013 01:55 PM (0HooB)

152 #kennedydiditfirst Teddy Kennedy used to go searching for Belugas in an Oldsmobile. With a date.

Posted by: George Orwell what knows Lois Lerner lies at June 17, 2013 01:55 PM (xw77v)

153 Science & boobehs go figure

Posted by: Misanthropic humanitarian at June 17, 2013 01:56 PM (HVff2)

154

This was only practice for the new TSA gambit. Hawt nekkid chicks patting down airline passengers.

Posted by: Soona at June 17, 2013 01:56 PM (eKXog)

155 159 Also a BAC of about .5 might have something to do with it. It's like antifreeze, you know. I miss Wisconsin. Posted by: HeatherRadishÂ™ needs a beer at June 17, 2013 05:55 PM (ZKzrr) Come on back Heather

Posted by: Misanthropic humanitarian at June 17, 2013 01:56 PM (HVff2)

156 So, how would that first wacky conversation have gone, do you think.... "Hey Natalia, we have this wacky idea" "Cool! I had the same idea!" Meanwhile, back in America, instead of swimming with Beluga whales in nearly frozen sea water, we have Holly Paz-tastic shit to deal with.

Posted by: MTF at June 17, 2013 01:57 PM (NlCgY)

157 "161 #kennedydiditfirst Teddy Kennedy used to go searching for Belugas in an Oldsmobile. With a date. Posted by: George Orwell what knows Lois Lerner lies at June 17, 2013 05:55 PM (xw77v) " Yep. #thesealionofthesenate

Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at June 17, 2013 01:57 PM (5PQkc)

158

>>> She's a yoga mistress? Hmmm, that means she's really flexible, right?

And comfortable farting in a 99 degree room packed with strangers.

Posted by: garrett at June 17, 2013 01:57 PM (Sv44W)

159 Ain't believing the 10 minutes.

Posted by: SFGoth at June 17, 2013 01:58 PM (dZ756)

160 "Hold it right there, Aquaman -- there might just be a real person who displays superhuman abilities under water.

That man, 39-year-old Stig Severinsen, just set a world record for holding his breath under water for a lung-burning 22 minutes."

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/11/16 /breath-world-record-stig-severinsen_n_2144734.html

Posted by: mallfly at June 17, 2013 01:58 PM (bJm7W)

161 Likes to be naked, hold her breath for 10 minutes, and likes whales? I'm in love.

Posted by: Michael Moore at June 17, 2013 01:59 PM (SzAZ7)

162 I mean, seriously, one of those beluga's is going to be wronged somehow, possibly killed. She goes all apeshit, begins communicating with all the belugas in the ocean, and then next thing you know, we have merchant shipping traffic sinking all along the East Coast. It'd make the Kriegsmarine's Second Happy Time look like a school field trip.

Posted by: Professor Marius von Totenkopf (formerly Hoss Fuentes) at June 17, 2013 02:00 PM (aozUR)

163 151 "Natalia is a yoga expert and used meditation techniques to hold her breath and stay under water for an incredible ten minutes and 40 seconds." Really? Isn't the recorded longest free dive something like 9 minutes? In sort of warm water? And swimming naked in water at freezing point? Hey, I have a shit ton of sand for sale. Want some?

Posted by: Ma Bell at June 17, 2013 02:00 PM (RLdcX)

164 Maybe we could line the southern border with a moat. Filled with Belugas and naked women. Don't think anyone would want to go past that.

Posted by: George Orwell what knows Lois Lerner lies at June 17, 2013 02:00 PM (xw77v)

165 Later, all. God bless. :-)

Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at June 17, 2013 02:00 PM (5PQkc)

166

Americans could do that job, but we would file disability the following day.

Work is for suckers.

Posted by: FSA at June 17, 2013 02:02 PM (Asthr)

167

"141 Two year old story.
But still good to see a heart-warming tale like this one!"

U spelled 'tail' wrong.

Posted by: Cicero Kid can hold his breath underwater for 20 seconds. at June 17, 2013 02:02 PM (jz0+s)

168 Maybe we could line the southern border with a moat. Filled with Belugas and naked women. Don't think anyone would want to go past that. Posted by: George Orwell what knows Lois Lerner lies at June 17, 2013 06:00 PM (xw77v) Why no gay male meat eaters in mexico?

Posted by: Nevergiveup at June 17, 2013 02:02 PM (9Bj8R)

169 Can we has moar science stories like these?

Does anyone have Natalia's phone number? At 65 that 36 year old looks awfully good to me.

Posted by: [/i] [/b] [/u] [/s] An Observation at June 17, 2013 02:03 PM (ylhEn)

170 Whale taming?

Show me a crazy-ass beluga whale that needs taming and then maybe I'll be impressed.

You fucking quack.

Posted by: Billy Beluga at June 17, 2013 02:03 PM (Hx2XA)

171

"
Really? Isn't the recorded longest free dive something like 9 minutes? In sort of warm water?

And swimming naked in water at freezing point?

Hey, I have a shit ton of sand for sale. Want some?"

Let's get Kari Byron to bust this myth, stat!

Posted by: Cicero Kid can hold his breath underwater for 20 seconds. at June 17, 2013 02:05 PM (jz0+s)

172 Know how to catch a Beluga? Cut a hole in the ice. Sprinkle some green peas around the hole. When a beluga comes up to take a pea, kick him in the icehole.

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at June 17, 2013 02:05 PM (pxDth)

173 Dammit. Now I have that children's song "Baby Beluga" as an ear worm.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at June 17, 2013 02:05 PM (lVPtV)

174 113 I'm going to go out on a limb and say they are trying to kill you. Posted by: alexthechick - Mmmm. Blondes with whipped cream. at June 17, 2013 05:43 PM (VtjlW) Now, don't worry. It's just a shower...

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at June 17, 2013 02:06 PM (+98Gb)

175 Belugas are fertile.

Posted by: Jeb Bush at June 17, 2013 02:06 PM (zdlKj)

176 Giving new meaning to the term "wet willy."

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at June 17, 2013 02:06 PM (+98Gb)

177 If she would wear a George W. Bush mask, she could sell her schtick as performance art.

Posted by: George Orwell what knows Lois Lerner lies at June 17, 2013 02:06 PM (xw77v)

178 Damn NBC is slow. Beliga Woman. Walrus fetishist. Is this NOT a made for summer movie or a new hit sitcom? It writes itself.

Posted by: RWC at June 17, 2013 02:07 PM (qOwz1)

179 Seems improbable. Photoshopped. Or she's cold as ice, cold as ice to me.

Posted by: Reader C.J. Burch writes more nonsense ...... at June 17, 2013 02:08 PM (RFeQD)

180 Article from 2011? I'd love to know how ace stumbled upon it two years later. NSA. LIttle help please.

Posted by: RWC at June 17, 2013 02:08 PM (qOwz1)

181 Beliga Woman. Walrus fetishist. Is this NOT a made for summer movie or a new hit sitcom? Deadliest Snatch.

Posted by: George Orwell what knows Lois Lerner lies at June 17, 2013 02:09 PM (xw77v)

182 The headline this time next year- "She Died Doing What She Loved"

Posted by: weird flunky at June 17, 2013 02:09 PM (tlhtD)

183 What got Ace interested was the follow up article he found while trying to re-master his domain.

I had a Beluga love child.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at June 17, 2013 02:12 PM (UVBO7)

184 Posted by: Reader C.J. Burch writes more nonsense ...... at June 17, 2013 06:08 PM (RFeQD) Thought the same. Apparently she is pretty well known for doing dives in sub-zero temps. She recreated 'The Lady of Orda Lake.' Orda Lake being in Siberia. Orda Lake being -23 celsius inside the cave. Her with just a flowing gown on.

Posted by: RWC at June 17, 2013 02:15 PM (qOwz1)

185 http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/11/16 /breath-world-record-stig-severinsen_n_2144734.html Pre-breathing pure oxygen is such a cheat.

Posted by: Iblis at June 17, 2013 02:15 PM (9221z)

186 The headline this time next year- "She Died Doing ~~What~~ Whale She Loved"

Posted by: George Orwell what knows Lois Lerner lies at June 17, 2013 02:21 PM (xw77v)

187 Thank God there are no pinball machines down there!

Posted by: runningrn at June 17, 2013 02:27 PM (PLOz8)

188 This naked swimming requires much studying. Perhaps there are other avenues of life that would also benefit from nudity.

Posted by: Kensington at June 17, 2013 02:28 PM (Yy2ZT)

189 Arctic Fish Hole Insemination...

Posted by: runningrn at June 17, 2013 02:29 PM (PLOz8)

190 Sad that a learned expert like Tillicum the Assault Killer Whale did not pop in to offer his services to the lady.

Posted by: Where's Tillicum when you need him? at June 17, 2013 02:33 PM (nbGZj)

191 Perhaps there are other avenues of life that would also benefit from nudity.

Candidate debates would be greatly improved.

Posted by: HeatherRadish™ needs a beer at June 17, 2013 02:41 PM (ZKzrr)

192 Over ten minutes huh ?

Posted by: The Idea Guy at June 17, 2013 03:06 PM (FcIMN)

193 Attkisson talking about being hacked was hotter.

Posted by: SOMEASSHOLESTOLEMYPEN at June 17, 2013 03:17 PM (n8115)

194 Much hotter.

Posted by: SOMEASSHOLESTOLEMYPEN at June 17, 2013 03:18 PM (n8115)

195 Well, swimming next to a whale is one way to make yourself look thinner.

Posted by: TB at June 17, 2013 03:36 PM (5jZ/P)

196 84 Why, when there is a nekkid lady in the news, be it for "science" or protest,... why is it never someone with a sizable bosom? ================================== Objects on screen may be larger than they appear.

Posted by: Brunette_W at June 17, 2013 03:37 PM (w/r78)

197 Her super-clenched buttocks in the second picture convinced me that this is a legitimate news story. For both mankind.....and the Belugas.

Posted by: Dr. Moreau’s Favorite at June 17, 2013 03:43 PM (iMxCf)

198 Beluga my whale.

Posted by: Barry Soetoro at June 17, 2013 04:20 PM (Q63S1)

199 But scientists have yet to conclude: Would they hit it?

Posted by: Brisco_County at June 17, 2013 04:50 PM (B0Zzk)

200 I wear a wetsuit year-round. But then I have zero percent body fat. And they make me look sexy when upside-down in a kayak. Never see those belugas in the Lower Mountain Fork, though. Just buffalos.

Posted by: EROWMER at June 17, 2013 06:14 PM (OONaw)

201 umm...horde? This is from 2011. It's not as if I have a rainman memory for internet nudity or anything, it's just common knowledge. yeah, common knowledge.

Posted by: Frumious Bandersnatch at June 17, 2013 06:21 PM (1xUj/)

202

Ha, she fell for the old "whales dont like to be touched by unnatural materials" line.

If I had a nickel for everytime that I used that line...

Posted by: Max Entropy at June 17, 2013 06:32 PM (Hc0n6)

203 Ace, it's not that American scientists couldn't do this. It's just the odds of a sexy and skinny (sorry, curvy means fat) cougar scientist favor our Scandanavian friends