August 29, 2013

Slate, The Blog That Trolls Its Own Readers, Last in a Series
— Ace

This is the blogpost that everyone's talking about.

This appears in Slate's Frequent Dumb Offender ghetto "Double X Factor." That is where they let the girls write.

See, if Matt Ygelsias writes a stupid post, it's part of Slate's MoneyBox feature.

If a girl writes a stupid post, it goes into Double X Factor.

What this writer is writing about is not a "woman's issue." It's about education. It is no more a "woman's issue" than Matt Yglesias' article (which mentions protecting children from the brain-damaging effects of lead paint) was a "woman's issue."

But she's a girl, and this too dumb for the rest of the blog (and consider the implications of that), so into Double X Factor her dumb blogpost goes.

Because Slate is totally against the #WarOnWomen, guys.

This is something, by the way, they seem to be learning from the Daily Mail, which has been accused of deliberately embarrassing women in order to generate links. For example, that woman who said It's So Hard to Be Beautiful But Was Not In Fact Beautiful at all? The Daily Mail's leftwing critics asserted that the paper has long offered up such Sacrificial Lambs, always female, prodding them to write monstrously dumb articles in order to profit from Bus Crash Rubbernecking.

Provocative Title:

If You Send Your Kid to Private School, You Are a Bad Person
A manifesto.

Writer: Allison Benedikt. She is married to John Cook, who occasionally writes stupid things for Gawker.

Evidence of Trollish Intent: Read the headline again.

Other Evidence of Trollish Intent: Well... Let's look at the outcome. She trolled half the internet into linking her.

People like @danfostertype are now begging everyone else to stop talking about this stupid thing:


Plus, if you need more proof than that, there' the actual blogpost, which is scatological in its stupidity.

Yeah I gotta link this one. Everyone else already has. (Congratulations, David Plotz.)

It has to be read in its entirety.

Now as I quote, you will begin to suspect that this article is actually a sneaky ironic post which is actually making the case for private school while ostensibly arguing against it, by presenting a chilling portrait of public school (which failed to educate the author, as she's about to inform you).

Like Swift's A Modest Proposal.

But I don't think so.

Enjoy the hardcore link-trolling, David Plotz style:

You are a bad person if you send your children to private school. Not bad like murderer bad—but bad like ruining-one-of-our-nation’s-most-essential-institutions-in-order-to-get-what’s-best-for-your-kid bad. So, pretty bad.

You usually don't see the link-a-string-of-words-together-by-hyphens-blogger-style-trick in political treatises which announce themselves portentously as "A Manifesto," but then, we're going to be seeing a lot of things we usually don't see in written essays.


I am not an education policy wonk: IÂ’m just judgmental.

I have no real expertise in the field in which I offer this radical proposition; I'm just annoyed with people. But hear my words.

Very bloggy. I do that all the time, the sort of offhanded "I don't know what ckuf I'm talking about but let me now ramble on it for 1000 words." I usually don't title such things "An Manifesto," though.

But it seems to me that if every single parent sent every single child to public school, public schools would improve. This would not happen immediately. It could take generations. Your children and grandchildren might get mediocre educations in the meantime, but it will be worth it, for the eventual common good. (Yes, rich people might cluster. But rich people will always find a way to game the system: That shouldnÂ’t be an argument against an all-in approach to public education any more than it is a case against single-payer health care.)

We have just dispensed of several of the key objections to her entire scheme with "But whatever, what's gonna happen is gonna happen, let's Do This Thing already."

You know, like Manifestos do. They just go, "Eh, don't worry about that."

So, how would this work exactly? ItÂ’s simple!

Yeah her husband's article on the same sort of idea said "It's simple," too.

I'm going to digest this rather than quoting it: It's the straighforward proposition that if the state compels you to put your child in a horrible school, you will have skin in the game, an investment in the system, and then will in turn forced to vote the way the Teachers Unions want you to, and this will make Skoolz Better, or something.

Although she does specifically say she doesn't want to ban schools; she just wants to make the moral case why you're horrible if you attempt to educate your children.

It's her husband who's into Banning Private Schools. We'll get to that later, in the Unexpected Trollish Twist.

There are a lot of reasons why bad people send their kids to private school. Yes, some do it for prestige or out of loyalty to a long-standing family tradition or because they want their children to eventually work at Slate.

This is going to come up again. That may seem like a joke -- that parents invest tens of thousands of dollars in a private primary education so that their kids can one day work for a groupblog -- but you'll see later on that she thinks this is a pretty damn nice spot to be in, as far as Careers n Stuff go.

But many others go private for religious reasons, or because their kids have behavioral or learning issues, or simply because the public school in their district is not so hot. None of these are compelling reasons.

I'm omitting something here. You can check the article for her exact words. She sneers off the idea of religious reasons outright, but then says wanting your kid to go to a school which is not horrible is a worthy impulse in and of itself, but that's all the more reason to send your kid to a horrible school.

Here it comes. Here's the part where she starts saying -- and she really does say this; I won't be paraphrasing, but quoting -- that she went to terrible public schools and learned (by her accounting) almost nothing, which is precisely why all kids must be forced to go to public school.

Strap in. We've got some Dumb Turbulence.

I believe in public education, but my district school really isnÂ’t good! you might say. I understand.

Do you understand?

You want the best for your child, but your child doesnÂ’t need it.

You didn't understand. [Emphasis added.] You say that you understand why people want the best for their children, and then insist, insanely, that people's children do not need the best. That they can skate with merely okay, or, like the author, with inadequate and poor.


If you can afford private school (even if affording means scrimping and saving, or taking out loans), chances are that your spawn will be perfectly fine at a crappy public school.

Emphasis added. Your "spawn" will do just fine at a "crappy public school," so shut up whiner.

Why, they might even wind up being Double X bloggers at Slate!

Now, being a Double X blogger at Slate isn't, like, giving handjobs under the docks for crack or anything. But no one is going to think about careers they want for their children and think, "blogger at Slate, that's what I want I want for my boy!"

It's not exactly threatening to roll-over the scoreboard on the Pinball Machine of Life, you know.

But I guess it's... well, it's fine for your children to end up at the bottom rungs of the white collar ladder, as she'll soon be telling you.

She will have support at home (thatÂ’s you!) ...

First I thought this was all crazy, dumb, and bitchy, but then you kept using those friendly Hi, There Exclamation Points! and suddenly I started nodding and before long you won me over.

...and all the advantages that go along with being a person whose family can pay for and cares about superior education—the exact kind of family that can help your crappy public school become less crappy. She may not learn as much or be as challenged, but take a deep breath and live with that. Oh, but she’s gifted? Well, then, she’ll really be fine.

Emphasis added. Your child is gifted, and thus has the potential for actual greatness, but if you send her to a crappy public school, well, she won't actually attain her potential, but she'll be... fine.

Fine.

Well sign me up sister!

Now, key in on this word "fine" and let Allison Benedikt, Manifesto Blogger, inform you of what "fine" means.

She doesn't mean the older version of "fine," meaning "superior (though not quite exceptional)." She means it in the current way-- barely acceptable.

I went K–12 to a terrible public school. My high school didn’t offer AP classes, and in four years, I only had to read one book.

!!!

There wasnÂ’t even soccer.

Um, you moved off the "I only had to read one book" thing pretty quickly to get to the non-shocking "there wasn't even soccer."

Let's go back to the "no reading in 4 years of high school" thing.

This is not a humblebrag!

I'll go you one better -- it's not a brag at all. It's sad. Your schools failed you, and you're not even aware of what they denied you.

I left home woefully unprepared for college...

But I'm sure she ultimately dug within herself and found the love of learning that public school failed to impart to her. So, she's setting us up for a Standard Happy Ending After Initial Adversity.

... and without that preparation, I left college without having learned much there either.

Nope. Boy I was waaaayyy the ckuf wrong on that one.

I thought she was going to turn it all around in a Happy Ending "cream will rise to the top" paean, but then she just said "Oh and I continued learning nothing at all for the rest of my life. The End."

You know all those important novels that everyoneÂ’s read? I havenÂ’t.

This is sounding better and better by the moment.

I know nothing about poetry, very little about art, and please donÂ’t quiz me on the dates of the Civil War.

I didn't even realize that could be a quiz question, except for... little children.

IÂ’m not proud of my ignorance.

And yet you sound pretty okay with it. Earlier you assured me the lack of reading wasn't a "humblebrag."

But guess what the horrible result is? IÂ’m doing fine.

So's my mailman. In fact, I think he's got it too good, to be honest.

IÂ’m not saying itÂ’s a good thing that I got a lame education. IÂ’m saying that I survived it, and so will your child, who must endure having no AP calculus so that in 25 years there will be AP calculus for all.

Ah. We'll sacrifice our current children for hypothetical future children. Maybe. Like, maybe that will lead to improvements.

Or maybe it won't.

Who cares either way? You can do "fine" without an education!!!

She now discusses the fact that her parents didn't care much about her education, and so just didn't care that she was at a "terrible" school. But don't worry about it, she says -- who cares.

It's just school.

This is like the sort of sneeringly dismissive essay about education I'd expect from Bugs Meany, the thuggish antagonist to Encyclopedia Brown.

Not like "An Manifesto" published on something that once sort of tried to pretend to be a "smart" alternative to real media.

Also remember that thereÂ’s more to education than whatÂ’s taught. As rotten as my schoolÂ’s English, history, science, social studies, math, art, music, and language programs were...

You had me at "Rotten as my school's English," but then you just added so much more.

And there wasn't even soccer!!!

... going to school with poor kids and rich kids, black kids and brown kids, smart kids and not-so-smart ones...

Ehhh... if you got through high school reading only one book, let's stipulate it for the record your competition was almost entirely "not so smart ones."

...kids with superconservative Christian parents and other upper-middle-class Jews like me was its own education and life preparation. Reading Walt Whitman in ninth grade changed the way you see the world? Well, getting drunk before basketball games with kids who lived at the trailer park near my house did the same for me.

Trailer park kids are drunks. Citation: Slate magazine, the Double X Factor.

Oh, but even though People In Trailer Parks are Bad People and Drunks, you should hang out with them, because their primitive folkways are endearing or something. Your kids will learn a lot from their Strange Moonshinin' Ways.

In fact itÂ’s part of the reason I feel so strongly about public schools.

I was kind of psyched about the lack of soccer.

So, let's sum up:

Hey parents, you're terrible for sending your kids to private school. Send them to public school where they won't learn anything and will get drunk with the degenerates from the Trailer Park! Then they can go to inferior colleges and continue not learning and also enjoying drinking a whole heck of a lot.

But there's more:

Many of my (morally bankrupt) colleagues send their children to private schools.

Summing up these Morally Bankrupt Parents' reasons: They want their children educated and not just drunk, not reading, not learning, and not playing soccer.

You know who else wants those things? Everyone.

That's because they're good things... which you would endeavor to take from them, so that we may all be equals, gettin' drunk off Boones' Farm Wine on some inbred Trailer Folks' collapsed trampoline.

She then tells you Serious You Guys send your kids to the same shitholes I went to.

Don’t just acknowledge your liberal guilt—listen to it.

"Heed it" was the word were looking for but that word would have been contained in the second book you should have read in high school.

What the hell can you even say? I don't know.

Now here's the Surprise Twist. It turns out that hardcore Trolling of the Mommyblogs is a family business. A guy named John J. Cook wrote a similar piece for Gawker a while back, and I assume that's her husband. (She married a John Joseph Cook.)

letsbanprivateschools.jpg

That's from Gawker's linkwhoring article, "Let's Ban Private Schools," which makes many of the same basic point as Slate's (you know, the whole We Shall All Be Equally Miserable Under Communism thing).

Now at first I thought this was a catch Because Plagiarism, but having read both, they're not plagiarizing each other. It's the same basic idea, but boy howdy, does Allison Benedikt rise to the occasion to offer her own very weird take on Sacrificing Your Children To the Drunk and Rowdy Trailer Gods for the good of humanity.

But it does seem that there is some shared family wisdom in this business of outrage-fishing. They seem to prefer the same ponds.

Corrected: I wrote that I thought the couple was childless, based on their complete lack of any mention of children in these pieces (despite it being a natural place to mention such a thing).

But a commenter says I'm wrong, and they do have kids.

So I retract.

Posted by: Ace at 02:37 PM | Comments (301)
Post contains 2609 words, total size 17 kb.

1 WOW!

Posted by: t-dubyh-d at August 29, 2013 02:42 PM (u6lBN)

2 I can't read anymore, but judging by the length, I take it Ace didn't like the movie

Posted by: Gene Siskel at August 29, 2013 02:43 PM (Pr6hk)

3 Slate Wars III: The Empire Strikes Shit

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at August 29, 2013 02:44 PM (8ZskC)

4 rats, still not first

Posted by: Mallfly at August 29, 2013 02:44 PM (bJm7W)

5 That's not writing, it's typing.

Posted by: Truman Capote at August 29, 2013 02:46 PM (MMC8r)

6 Are you sure -- Matty at the Money Box isn't the whore section?

Posted by: tasker at August 29, 2013 02:47 PM (r2PLg)

7  She should write a follow-up piece on how Batboy's mom ruined his chance at a normal life by sending him to Sidwell Friends School.

Posted by: Gristle Encased Head at August 29, 2013 02:47 PM (+lsX1)

8 Oh, but sheÂ’s gifted? Well, then, sheÂ’ll really be fine.

No, she'll be stunted by the least-common-denominator curriculum, bullied by the normals, and sneered at by the teachers...and probably used as an unpaid teaching assistant.  "You can do long division, instead of learning something new you can spend the year helping the dumb kids."

Posted by: HeatherRadish™ needs a beer at August 29, 2013 02:47 PM (/kI1Q)

9 I'm going to just watch Obama and the LIV'S get jobbed.

Posted by: redenzo at August 29, 2013 02:48 PM (vx61Q)

10 And this noxious scrunt will then turn around and block any attempt to actually improve public schools, other than dumping more money and power into teacher's unions.

Posted by: zsasz at August 29, 2013 02:48 PM (MMC8r)

11 gettin' drunk off Boones' Farm Wine on some inbred Trailer Folk's collapsed trampoline. *********** Strawberry Hill bungle mucker!!!

Posted by: tasker at August 29, 2013 02:49 PM (r2PLg)

12 Provocative Title: If You Send Your Kid to Private School, You Are a Bad Person. A manifesto. -- Hm, the Clintons and Obamas are bad persons. Nothing new there.

Posted by: panzernashorn at August 29, 2013 02:49 PM (MhA4j)

13 Barky is evil, and he sends his children to private schools.  Maybe she`s on to something.

Posted by: logprof at August 29, 2013 02:49 PM (bufJH)

14 Finally! (I hope I have something witty to say after I've actually read Ace's entire post.)

Posted by: Chelsea d'afrique, late to the meme as usual at August 29, 2013 02:49 PM (r+7wo)

15 Trisca please use your inside voice while your on the bread line.

Posted by: redenzo at August 29, 2013 02:49 PM (vx61Q)

16

I'm begging you to stop linking  these stupid fuckers. I already know exactly how they think. In fact, if you tell me one fact from her pathetic life, I will know exactly her thoughts on every single issue. Locksrep/goosestep/shackeled together, there ain't an original thought among them.

Let it burn

Posted by: Bashir Al Assad at August 29, 2013 02:49 PM (srg5s)

17 She's fine, you guys! You can be fine, too. Y'know. If you want to work in a creative field where advancement is heavily based on your connections (like, OMG, who doesn't have those? Everybody's daddy knows somebody), willingness to work unpaid internships (surely Mommy and Daddy will help out with the rent and of course keep you on their health insurance til age 26) and complete and total inability to detect bullshit.

Posted by: Jenny Hates Her Phone at August 29, 2013 02:50 PM (GmTxn)

18 You usually don't see the link-a-string-of-words-together-by-hyphens-blogger-style-trick in political treatises which announce themselves portentously as "A Manifesto," but then, we're going to be seeing a lot of things we usually don't see in written essays.


--In this case, it's mental Meat Beat Manifesto.

Posted by: logprof at August 29, 2013 02:50 PM (bufJH)

19 To make prisons better, everyone should have skin in the game.

Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith [/i] [/b] [/s] [/u] at August 29, 2013 02:51 PM (qyfb5)

20 "But no one is going to think about careers they want for their children and think, "blogger at Slate, that's what I want I want for my boy!"" Why wouldn't you want your kids to be a blogger at Slate? Matty Yglasias has a million-dollar apartment in Manhattan, doesn't he? I'd better put a </sarcasm> tag here just in case.

Posted by: Rick C at August 29, 2013 02:51 PM (swpgw)

21 Uh, er, uh, don't worry folks, I'll, uh, make my decision on the Syria thing right after I read this article I've found on a fascinating blog run by some Ace fellow.

(this should buy me a couple days)

Posted by: composite SCOAMF at August 29, 2013 02:51 PM (bieVz)

22 But shouldn't childless people at least be less cavalier about throwing out such judgmental language about actual parents' choices?

You can be not-a-fucking-idiot without having kids, and having a kid doesn't make you not-a-fucking-idiot if you were a fucking idiot to start with (Exhibit A: "You can't charge little Precious with murder, he's a good boy.") 

Ms. Benedikt's fucking idiocy does not come from the contents of her uterus but the contents of her skull.

Posted by: HeatherRadish™ needs a beer at August 29, 2013 02:52 PM (/kI1Q)

23 She thinks she's 'elite' because she writes for Slate? Bwa, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, & ha.

Posted by: zsasz at August 29, 2013 02:52 PM (MMC8r)

24

I'd think this was Swift-like, but for the fact that this sort of thing crops up rather frequently in the UK, and further, has been stated in writing by the NEA. Somebody's gotta be skirmisher in these philosophical battles, so Ms. Benedikt is taking one for the team.

Posted by: RS at August 29, 2013 02:52 PM (YAGV/)

25 Good Lord. The AoSHQ hamsters must be on the last of their little legs. A post of epic movie review-like proportions.  

Posted by: The Third Horseman Of The Apocalypse at August 29, 2013 02:52 PM (Dwehj)

26 Ace: "It has to be read in its entirety."

A. You can't make me.
B. I can read your movie review instead.
C. Well, I guess you can sorta make me.
D. Profit!!!

Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at August 29, 2013 02:52 PM (eHIJJ)

27 What does "heed" meen? I'm asking for a friend.

Posted by: Totally not Allison at August 29, 2013 02:52 PM (Aif/5)

28 So, I'm guessing the Private School Kids don't get fucking shirts? Someone hath made a maniac out of Ace, and I am wiping the tears from mine eyes. Instant. Masterpiece. I can't even tell you my favorite hammer-slice, because it exists only as a complete symphony of Ankaian brutality.

Posted by: jakeman at August 29, 2013 02:54 PM (GXKTh)

29 Wow, read the post just now.

When you consider that that logical steaming diarrhea is coming from someone *paid* to write that, do you dare contemplate how stupid the regular readers?  Think on *that*.

Posted by: logprof at August 29, 2013 02:54 PM (bufJH)

30 I went to public schools. Haven't played in many years, but I think I could scare up a baseball bat. C'mere, Honey! Let's talk about education...

Posted by: fluffy at August 29, 2013 02:55 PM (mh2wr)

31 Very bloggy. I do that all the time, the sort of offhanded "I don't know what ckuf I'm talking about but let me now ramble on it for 1000 words." I usually don't title such things "An Manifesto," though.

I bet you think you're funny.

Posted by: BeffJ at August 29, 2013 02:55 PM (eHIJJ)

32 Barack Obama is a stuttering clusterf*ck of a malignant traitor.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) Channeling Breitbart at August 29, 2013 02:55 PM (nUH8H)

33 And now I post the Moderate Solution for the Problem of Quality in Public Education I came up with when I was a teenager and actually have not abandoned since. 1) Evacuate the schools. 2) Burn them to the ground. 3) Bulldoze the rubble flat. 4) Sow the ground with salt. When you suck horribly at something, STOP DOING IT!!!! Is education more important than cars or cookware? If you think so, ask yourself why cars and cookware aren't made by the government. I mean, the US Government Computer Company - waiting lists down to six months as of this year! Government Education is pretty much The Liverpool Pathway for Your Mind.

Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith [/i] [/b] [/s] [/u] at August 29, 2013 02:55 PM (qyfb5)

34 Burn it down. Scatter the stones. Salt the earth where it stood.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) Channeling Breitbart at August 29, 2013 02:55 PM (nUH8H)

35 That twat needed to be called out for the attention whore she is.

Posted by: mare at August 29, 2013 02:56 PM (A98Xu)

36 Bet they could have a kid in private pre-K.

Posted by: tasker at August 29, 2013 02:56 PM (r2PLg)

37 I bet she blows winos in the park to get some self respect.

Posted by: Hanoverfist at August 29, 2013 02:56 PM (ecN6u)

38 I have a migraine, and just took some ultracet because nothing else was working. I'm not sure how long I have before I completely stop being coherent. That said: Incoming profanity laced rant. AtC- you'll want your bunker.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) Channeling Breitbart at August 29, 2013 02:56 PM (nUH8H)

39

hey!!!!

I send mine to a private school and we all know i'm full of sweetness and love for all you assholes

 

that was YOU not YOUR

no need for FIFY

Posted by: navycopjoe at August 29, 2013 02:57 PM (djLPp)

40 I can barely write my own name.

That's not a humblebrag!1!

Posted by: Ignorant Dude Delivering Your Pizza at August 29, 2013 02:57 PM (/IWYB)

41

Can't wait for their kids blog article in about 20 years...

 

"The positive societal effects of getting knocked up while drunk in the trailer park."

Posted by: AndrewsDad at August 29, 2013 02:58 PM (C2//T)

42 Serious You Guys, one of the cobs needs to get this trilogy linked in the Greatest Hitjobs sidebar, STAT.

Posted by: jakeman at August 29, 2013 02:58 PM (GXKTh)

43 OK. I have to leave now. (Not that you care.) But the stupid was so pervasive that it's impossible for me to come up with a witty comment as I was hoping to. All I'll say is that I won't be surprised if there's an exodus from public schools once parents, even those who don't care that much, read this article and think Cripes! My child could turn out like this crazy b*tch. Off to the private schools we go!

Posted by: Chelsea d'afrique, late to the meme as usual at August 29, 2013 02:58 PM (r+7wo)

44 The Civil War started in 1862.

Posted by: Quentin Tarantino at August 29, 2013 02:58 PM (bufJH)

45 >>> and probably used as an unpaid teaching assistant. "You can do long division, instead of learning something new you can spend the year helping the dumb kids." Is that biographical, my bitter, fake internet friend?

Posted by: fluffy at August 29, 2013 02:58 PM (mh2wr)

46 If they think that private schools should be banned, they probably are of the opinion that homeschoolers should be arrested and their kids taken away (a la Germany).

Posted by: Katja at August 29, 2013 02:58 PM (oquX1)

47 Shorter version of her article:

I'm a shithead, and I want everyone else to be a shithead too.

Posted by: Blanco Basura at August 29, 2013 02:59 PM (YEelc)

48 I live in a brand new housing development. Our elementary school has only been open for 3 years or so. You'd think that the combination of a)middle class and b)new would keep it from being too terrible, right? Nope, nope, nope. Last year a teacher was arrested for molesting a student repeatedly over a period of several months. And afterwards? All the administration stayed on. Surely no one could have stopped this from happening to a 2nd grader. For 4 months. Just reason number 67463 why we homeschool.

Posted by: Lauren at August 29, 2013 03:00 PM (ELdpj)

49 Was she a journalism major? Because if she was then the not learning anything would be more understandable.

Posted by: Adam at August 29, 2013 03:00 PM (Aif/5)

50 When was the War of 1812?

Posted by: Allison Benedikt at August 29, 2013 03:00 PM (bufJH)

51 Re that last bit (which I realize you softened): as long as my taxes pay for public schools - and as long as I have to live with people educated by public schools - I'm certainly entitled to opine about education.

Posted by: Y-not is so over it at August 29, 2013 03:00 PM (5H6zj)

52

How do we lose elections to these people? I know why that write crap like this. It helps to elect future generations of morons.

Posted by: Liberty Lover at August 29, 2013 03:01 PM (2DgBs)

53 Allison Benedikt has kids.  She wrote another article about how awful it is to have a dog when you have kids, and an article complaining about how she and her husband lived in a one-bathroom apartment in Brooklyn because their kids sucked up all their money and they were looking at $5000 per month in childcare expenses.

Posted by: Colorado Alex at August 29, 2013 03:01 PM (lr3d7)

54 We need to push hard for deregulation of private schools and homeschooling, and then push hard for commercializing the Hell out of that segment to get prices down and availability up, and then just Ignore the public sector version to death. Let it wither. Because it's not like the bureaucrats who own the Biggest Lobby in the History of the Earth are going to cut a penny until there's no one in their Vast Monuments to Bureaucratic Thiking.

Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith [/i] [/b] [/s] [/u] at August 29, 2013 03:01 PM (qyfb5)

55 Oh I guess she must be jwests liberal sister. It's the inverse of what he advocates with a little extra stupidity. Fix public schools by forcing private school kids to go really isn't much dumber than fix Detroit by offering $25k in school vouchers there

Posted by: Buzzion at August 29, 2013 03:01 PM (W+Jg/)

56 Other than being a dumbass, what's keeping her from reading the great books now?

Posted by: NCKate at August 29, 2013 03:01 PM (kwl+3)

57 Don’t just acknowledge your liberal guilt—listen to it.

"Heed it" was the word were looking for but that word would have been contained in the second book you should have read in high school.



--No, you say "Take head of it."

Posted by: Michael Scott at August 29, 2013 03:01 PM (bufJH)

58 Yes, I linked to the Benedikt article on my Facebook page. But then I got to link to yours.

Posted by: DrewM at August 29, 2013 03:01 PM (4bUHX)

59 I read her blog post...the whole thing....I feel certain that it is tongue-in-cheek! See, I can use dashes and exclamation points too!!! It is not possible for anyone to be this dumb. Un-possible!

Posted by: 'Ette in training, a striving wannabe at August 29, 2013 03:01 PM (zvxqj)

60 Who would have guessed that fat, drunk, and stupid is the way to go through life? And that's just the teachers.

Posted by: Dean Chelsea Wormer at August 29, 2013 03:02 PM (pginn)

61

Wow. WTF is with these people.

 

1 book in high school? Girl, you know you can read books outside of school right? Books other than twilight, I mean. Then again, with your oh so terrible education, you might not make it through Pride and Prejudice or Crime and Punishment without a dictionary. Also, all that calculus I"m hearing about the public school students eventually learning, isnt' that being phased out by common core? That's what my family is convinced of, at any rate.

Posted by: Lea at August 29, 2013 03:02 PM (/bd0t)

62 Let's Ban Private Schools. And watch as the laws of unintended consequences (more students in the same schools, with no change in funding - remember, all those private school kids are free money without obligation to the public school) take over.

Friend's kid goes to public school. When he was in second grade, at a complex where K-12 share a common but fence-separated playground, he came home with, shall we say, a colorful vocabulary. I've never regretted private school. Ever.

Posted by: Kevin in ABQ at August 29, 2013 03:02 PM (XrGnJ)

63 OT.  Tonight on SyFy is Age of Dinosaurs.

Posted by: Chelsea Puma (+SmuD) at August 29, 2013 03:02 PM (aUpYR)

64 @8 Sounds like HeatherRadish went to my elementary school.

Posted by: Y-not is so over it at August 29, 2013 03:02 PM (5H6zj)

65 Yes, make your Sacrifice on the Altar Of The Collective, Citizen.

Shorter Article: I know nothing and strive for little. The fact that I am still somehow making a passable living is proof positive that I am qualified to do what even the most brilliant and studied among us are wary of doing: Predicting The Future With Utmost Certainty.

Hey.

You're an admitted airhead lacking the analytical skills that God gave a goose. Kindly fuck off.

Posted by: The Obsidian Owl at August 29, 2013 03:03 PM (AhcXF)

66

60 comments later, I'm done reading. 

Posted by: t-dubyh-d at August 29, 2013 03:03 PM (u6lBN)

67 Just got my first article published at Slate! It's called, It's Perfectly OK To Punch Old Ladies In The Face: A Treatise. My Oberlin English BA is finally starting to pay off!

Posted by: Gristle Encased Head at August 29, 2013 03:03 PM (+lsX1)

68 Let's ban Slate. Or get Double XX to write about how Money Box is a whorey sleazy slime against them.

Posted by: tasker at August 29, 2013 03:03 PM (r2PLg)

69 Fantastic ending to your troll trolling day, ace! You've been on fire lately!

Posted by: mugiwara at August 29, 2013 03:04 PM (hpYnL)

70 Holy ckuf laughing so hard at work I am going to get in trouble. Others may have linked it but I highly doubt else had quite so epic a takedown

Posted by: Paranoidgirlinseattle at August 29, 2013 03:04 PM (ETCgz)

71 Is that biographical, my bitter, fake internet friend?

Why yes, yes it is.

Once I got to middle school they bused me to the high school for math (until they ran out of math after "senior math" in 10th grade and then they just gave me some books and told me to teach myself which worked about as well you as think it might), but the early grades after I finished the assignment in five minutes I was spending the rest of math time checking papers or trying to explain shit to the kids who didn't get it yet (which also worked about as well as you think it might.  "I don't know why everything times 0 is 0. It just is.")

Posted by: HeatherRadish™ needs a beer at August 29, 2013 03:05 PM (/kI1Q)

72 Great piece ace. And for the love of all that is holy, I hope she never foists any spawn on society.

Posted by: Conservative Crank's iPhone at August 29, 2013 03:05 PM (qxeza)

73 53 Allison Benedikt has kids. She wrote another article about how awful it is to have a dog when you have kids, and an article complaining about how she and her husband lived in a one-bathroom apartment in Brooklyn because their kids sucked up all their money and they were looking at $5000 per month in childcare expenses.

Posted by: Colorado Alex at August 29, 2013 07:01 PM (lr3d7)


--So she also hates dogs?  That alone gets her in the GFY column.

Posted by: logprof at August 29, 2013 03:05 PM (bufJH)

74

62   he came home with, shall we say, a colorful vocabulary.

 

my almost 12yo goes to an all girls catholic school

she can outcuss me in multiple languages and i'm a retired CPO!!

Posted by: navycopjoe at August 29, 2013 03:05 PM (djLPp)

75 I think Slate takes that saying 'There's no such thing as bad publicity,' a tad too far.

Posted by: weft cut-loop [/i] [/b] at August 29, 2013 03:05 PM (SX6wc)

76

>>Ms. Benedikt's fucking idiocy does not come from the contents of her uterus but the contents of her skull.

 

Truth! I don't have kids but I still know this article is dumb, dumb shit. I even went to public school (where we had AP class and I did read more than one book and took calculus).

Posted by: Lea at August 29, 2013 03:05 PM (/bd0t)

77 14 (I hope I have something witty to say after I've actually read Ace's entire post.) Posted by: Chelsea d'afrique, late to the meme as usual at August 29, 2013 06:49 PM (r+7wo) This thread will be dead by the time I get done reading Ace's entire post.

Posted by: rickl at August 29, 2013 03:06 PM (sdi6R)

78 Ah fuck it dude. Let's go bowling.

Posted by: scofflawx at August 29, 2013 03:06 PM (hcgfJ)

79 This kind of stupidity is typical of the left.

Posted by: steevy at August 29, 2013 03:06 PM (9XBK2)

80
Based on the wedding announcement, they've been married for 10 years. It'd be pretty rare for a nominally heterosexual married couple to not have kids after all that time, barring medical reasons of course.

And I'm about 90% sure that their kids are in private schools.


Posted by: IllTemperedCur at August 29, 2013 03:06 PM (TIIx5)

81

"Yes, some do it for prestige or out of loyalty to a long-standing family tradition or because they want their children to eventually work at Slate."

 

Not really.  The main reasons to send your kid to private school are: (1) so they make friends with the kids of other people who send their kids to private schools; and (2) so they are kept away as much as possible from the kids of the underclass.

 

This is in the hopes that the kids will learn upper- and upper-middle class social habits and behaviors, rather than those of the underclass.  And also to reduce the risk of the kids getting beaten up in the hallways by underclass kids.

 

And it's not about keeping them from getting drunk and fingered.  I assure you, there's just as much drinking and fingering going on among upper-class kids.  They just tend to do it in newer cars with leather seats, or perhaps in their parents' hot tubs when the folks are out of town.

Posted by: Alex at August 29, 2013 03:06 PM (/yzYn)

82 colorado,

thanks. I deleted that.

Posted by: ace at August 29, 2013 03:06 PM (/IWYB)

83 In my school we were required to read at least four issues of Dynamite! per year to get AP credit.

Posted by: Gristle Encased Head at August 29, 2013 03:06 PM (+lsX1)

84 We might have even had soccer at my public high school but I sure as hell never bothered to find out. I wouldn't want to miss a football game.

Posted by: Lea at August 29, 2013 03:06 PM (/bd0t)

85 Wow, those 3 thugs who robbed and assaulted that kid on a bus got their hands slapped: http://goo.gl/gio0by My lord, they broke that kid's arm and robbed him.

Posted by: TWERK4PEACE! at August 29, 2013 03:07 PM (+omCY)

86 Heed your guilt... heed it.

Posted by: the SCOTTS Lawn guy at August 29, 2013 03:07 PM (bieVz)

87 Hey, leave Allison alone.

She's an intelligent woman with great ideas for the future.

Posted by: Trailer Park Finger Bangers Assoc. at August 29, 2013 03:07 PM (E3gqr)

88 Wow. WTF is with these people.

1 book in high school? Girl, you know you can read books outside of school right? Books other than twilight, I mean. Then again, with your oh so terrible education, you might not make it through Pride and Prejudice or Crime and Punishment without a dictionary. Also, all that calculus I"m hearing about the public school students eventually learning, isnt' that being phased out by common core? That's what my family is convinced of, at any rate.

Posted by: Lea at August 29, 2013 07:02 PM (/bd0t)


--and it's not as if all of the Great Books are thick doorstops.  One can easily read Machiavelli's The Prince in an afternoon (although of course it should be read carefully and thoroughly to enjoy its full value).

Posted by: logprof at August 29, 2013 03:07 PM (bufJH)

89

Here's the article about how expensive her kids are.

http://tinyurl.com/pkjtn8c


With a third kid on the way and a 1,100-square-foot, one-bathroom Brooklyn apartment, my husband and I talk a lot about when weÂ’ll be able to afford a home to comfortably fit our family. IÂ’m 35, heÂ’s almost 40, and neither of us thinks we can even begin to contemplate shelling out for a mortgage or higher rent for another five years. In the fall of 2018, all of our kids will finally be in public school, and we will have the $5,000 we pay in child care every month back in our bank account. I will be 41, my husband will be 46, and perhaps then we can start to consider a second toilet.


Posted by: Colorado Alex at August 29, 2013 03:08 PM (lr3d7)

90 She's a stoner. Mystery solved, ace.

Posted by: MJ at August 29, 2013 03:09 PM (uUq75)

91 The more the mask falls off the Left, the happier I am I don't have any kids. Not that I fully buy into the whole "leftism is the inevitable ideology of the entire world" crap, but I don't want to take that chance by creating an offering for their Moloch state. I live content in the knowledge that my unborn kids would thank me for not subjecting them to the weapons-grade stupidity constantly on display amongst these self-congratulatory mouth-breathing dumbasses.

Posted by: Sudden Clarity Clarence at August 29, 2013 03:09 PM (/tWHq)

92 I went to a public school and took 4 AP classes, but it's a union free school district.

Posted by: mugiwara at August 29, 2013 03:09 PM (hpYnL)

93 The nuns made me read the thing Jeff B. just read today--back in fourth grade.

Posted by: tasker at August 29, 2013 03:09 PM (r2PLg)

94 "so that in 25 years there will be AP calculus for all." hmm...doesn't quite have the same ring as, "A chicken in every pot!", does it?

Posted by: JeremiadBullfrog at August 29, 2013 03:09 PM (Y5I9o)

95 Ace, what the fuck is up with this weird new "ckuf" fetish you've begun to deploy?  Explain, por favor. 

You know, this blog's reputation already is what it is.  It's not going to get any more genteel around here, the Moron Horde will see to that if nothing else.

Posted by: Jeff B., what has finally had it with this RINO shit at August 29, 2013 03:09 PM (n/+FT)

96 >>> Heed your guilt... heed it. Hhahahahahahahahahaha!!!!

Posted by: fluffy at August 29, 2013 03:10 PM (mh2wr)

97 Does this woman even have kids? "Kids with superconservative Christian parents" was its own education. WTH does that mean anyway-"superconservative"? Yep; It means I think little fluffy and chet shouldn't be having sex under the bleachers or anywhere else when they're 15? Or that it's o.k. to read works by dead white males who weren't communist or progressives. What a nitwit this woman is and she's getting paid to write this?

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at August 29, 2013 03:10 PM (gTN+E)

98 Move to Kansas. Houses are a fraction of what they cost in LA and I assume NY. Low taxes and great schools.

Posted by: TWERK4PEACE! at August 29, 2013 03:10 PM (+omCY)

99 79 This kind of stupidity is typical of the left.

Posted by: steevy at August 29, 2013 07:06 PM (9XBK2)


--The irony is that she probably mocks conservatives using private schools as evolution-denying knuckledraggers.  This shit-treatise is a masterpiece of irrational self-delusion.

Posted by: logprof at August 29, 2013 03:10 PM (bufJH)

100

Finally, I'll just repost my response from elsewhere:

 

I love how this woman complains about the fact that sheÂ’s never read the classics. If only there were some place that you could go to find books. Some large building where you could find shelves upon shelves of books, including many of the classics. Even better, this mystical place would allow you, after registering and paying a small fee, to take these books home for a specified period of time. I know itÂ’s crazy, right?


You know whatÂ’s even crazier? If there were stores where you could buy books, including many that have been used previously, at inexpensive prices. You could take books home and place them on horizontal boards within reach of you children. Perhaps you could even read to them at night when theyÂ’re young, and encourage them to read for entertainment as they grow up.

Posted by: Colorado Alex at August 29, 2013 03:10 PM (lr3d7)

101 She also has the choice to stay home and care for her children. Keep the $5000. She can't be making any money working/writing, she's horrible. $5000/month can go a long way outside the city for a mortgage...with two bathrooms even. Sheeesh, she really is a twat.

Posted by: mare at August 29, 2013 03:10 PM (A98Xu)

102 With a third kid on the way and a 1,100-square-foot, one-bathroom Brooklyn apartment, my husband and I talk a lot about when weÂ’ll be able to afford a home to comfortably fit our family. IÂ’m 35, heÂ’s almost 40, and neither of us thinks we can even begin to contemplate shelling out for a mortgage or higher rent for another five years. In the fall of 2018, all of our kids will finally be in public school, and we will have the $5,000 we pay in child care every month back in our bank account. I will be 41, my husband will be 46, and perhaps then we can start to consider a second toilet. Posted by: Colorado Alex at August 29, 2013 07:08 PM (lr3d7) ************* Answer: MOVE.

Posted by: tasker at August 29, 2013 03:10 PM (r2PLg)

103 Watching the Jets preseason game. Looks like high school football with out the cute cheerleaders OPPs- first series jets get caught for a safety in the end zone

Posted by: Nevergiveup at August 29, 2013 03:10 PM (9Xc5j)

104 Dear Mizzzzzz Benedikt (I'm sure you hate Mrs. with a firey passion). First: you spell your last name gay. I'm virtually certain you had to change it to that, because no one in their right mind would spell "Benedict" "Benedikt" like it was all Germesque. Second: Fuck you, you fucking b*tch. How dare you, you semi-sentient pile of pig manure? Fuck you to Hell and back, then back to Hell whereupon you can be fucked for all eternity by the Barbed Cock of Satan. Let's talk about these public schools to which you would have me consign my children. Dante would have thrown away The Divine Comedy realizing he couldn't get Inferno right if he'd seen modern public schools: they're far worse than anything *he* came up with. While we're at it, we'll talk about this absurd notion that gifted children will be "fine" in public school. Hold on to your ass, you fucking fucker, because I'm about Blow. Your. Mind. I live in a nice suburb. My wife and I chose it, when she was pregnant with our first child, because it has some of the best schools in our area. We were told their gifted programs were some of the best. I wanted to private (or, better, home) school from the beginning, but was persuaded by various people that it would be better to attempt, as you say, to make public schools better which would require, as you suggest, "skin in the game." So, just a few months after his 5th birthday, my son (who, by that time, was already reading chapter books and doing multi-part addition) packed up his backpack and lunch and went to public Kindergarten. I'll spare you the details of most of his time there. Let's just say no Kindergartner should wake up and wail that he doesn't want to go to school. No child at all should be so scared of getting in trouble at school -for the High Crime of Being A 5 Year Old- that he begs his parents to let him stay home just one day. But then came the fateful day we decided that Public School was not going to work. That day, he'd tried to have an especially good day. He was doing his best to pay attention (despite the fact he was bored to tears). He was being polite and kind and all the things he was supposed to be. Then in Computer Lab, he needed to go the bathroom. Both teachers were busy. He held up his little hand and waited patiently. When the teachers (there were 2 there at the time) finally gave him permission to go to the bathroom, it was too late. On his way their he shat himself. He went to the nurse. The nurse, with great compassion, did nothing for him. She did not provide him wet-wipes with which to clean himself. She did not grab the spare clothes that the school kept for just such occasions to let him change. She called my wife, but indicated there was no hurry. In short, she forced him to SIT IN HIS OWN FUCKING FECES FOR NEARLY AN HOUR. Fine? Mizzzzzz Benedikt? Does that sound fucking "fine" to you? God damn you to hell you judgmental b*tch. You send your own kids to those torture camps, don't sneer down your nose at those of us who love our kids enough to spare them that evil.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) Channeling Breitbart at August 29, 2013 03:11 PM (nUH8H)

105 "When I consider how my light is spent,
Here comes Allison telling me to get bent."

Posted by: Chelsea Puma (+SmuD) at August 29, 2013 03:11 PM (aUpYR)

106 >>>Ace, what the fuck is up with this weird new "ckuf" fetish you've begun to deploy? Explain, por favor.

just a compromise, I don't want to use the f-word as much, and I think it's kind of fun just to garble it.


Posted by: ace at August 29, 2013 03:11 PM (/IWYB)

107 If it's ok that the kids will be fine even if the schools are crappy, why should she (or anyone, really) want to improve them? Her argument is self-refuting. It's like a mobius strip of stupid that just keeps turning in on itself.

Posted by: Andy at August 29, 2013 03:11 PM (li+aS)

108 I realize this turd from Slate is just troll-baiting, but Allison Benedikt is a prime example of why I homeschool my children.

Posted by: Mandy P., lurking lurker who lurks at August 29, 2013 03:11 PM (n8eIW)

109 " In the fall of 2018, all of our kids will finally be in public school, and we will have the $5,000 we pay in child care every month back in our bank account. I will be 41, my husband will be 46, and perhaps then we can start to consider a second toilet." Ok, I'm going to be a bitch, but is Slate really paying this idiot more than 5K/month to write her drivel? Is she going in to the office every day? It seems as though it would be a lot cheaper to stay home with her kids. But hey, maybe I'm wrong and Slate is paying her mad money to write crap. Of course, in that case you'd think they could afford more than 1 bathroom.

Posted by: Lauren at August 29, 2013 03:11 PM (ELdpj)

110 I went to a public school and took 4 AP classes, but it's a union free school district. Posted by: mugiwara -------- Me, too. In evil Texas, where apparently teachers work chained to their desks and starving. My kids are in public schools here and the oldest two are doing pre-AP, in sixth grade.

Posted by: Jenny Hates Her Phone at August 29, 2013 03:12 PM (GmTxn)

111

Uhh ace,

Your objection is spot on except slightly misclassified.

What you meant was "Shouldn't people who claim you have to have skin in the game to care about schools have skin in the game before they go off on others."

Posted by: tsrblke at August 29, 2013 03:12 PM (GaqMa)

112

hmmmm

jwest.....

Jeff B.....

!!!!!!!!

Jeff B. West!!!!!!!!

 

assholery detected and solved

Posted by: navycopjoe at August 29, 2013 03:12 PM (djLPp)

113 " I usually don't title such things "An Manifesto," though. Around here , they're called book reviews .

Posted by: Bill D. Cat at August 29, 2013 03:12 PM (0iJzo)

114

Move to Kansas. Houses are a fraction of what they cost in LA and I assume NY. Low taxes and great schools.

 

But Kansas isn't "hip", and everyone knows that living cooped up in a tiny apartment with three children who can't be let out on their own for fear of what might happen is a small price to pay for looking cool to all the right people.

Posted by: Colorado Alex at August 29, 2013 03:12 PM (lr3d7)

115 You know, this blog's reputation already is what it is. It's not going to get any more genteel around here, the Moron Horde will see to that if nothing else. Posted by: Jeff B., what has finally had it with this RINO shit at August 29, 2013 07:09 PM (n/+FT) ************ Come on--let him try it. True story-- politician admitted to reading Ace of Spades and I vaguely knew-- oh snap--that's the place that drops the _____ word. That guy is in double dutch.

Posted by: tasker at August 29, 2013 03:13 PM (r2PLg)

116

>>""I don't know why everything times 0 is 0. It just is.")""

 

Damn. Poor Heather. I tutored some little girl in high school at the boys and girls club and I guess she had learned to read by site words or something (I learned phonetics). I kept trying to explain to her how to sound things out and we were both lost. I suspect I'd suck at new math, too.

Posted by: Lea at August 29, 2013 03:13 PM (/bd0t)

117 When I think about it, the article is of a piece with liberals' hypocrisies.  She wants *your* children all to go to shitty schools, which makes it easier to keep the riff-raff out of their beloved Ivy League credential factories (all of which, by the way, are private).  As with other wack proposals by liberals, "You first.  Please, I insist."

Posted by: logprof at August 29, 2013 03:13 PM (bufJH)

118

104  nice rant but you can do better

that won't scare AtC into the fetal position

Posted by: navycopjoe at August 29, 2013 03:14 PM (djLPp)

119 Oops ... movie reviews .

Posted by: Bill D. Cat at August 29, 2013 03:14 PM (0iJzo)

120 I think my favorite Jeff B. a hole moment was when he announced that he could tell-- everyone in the thread was from The South--and needed to be learned a thing or two. HA!

Posted by: tasker at August 29, 2013 03:14 PM (r2PLg)

121 She will never consider leaving NYC because then she won't be IN NYC.  Because she thinks that Hell-hole is the center of the universe though her apartment seems to shrink and the neighbors get louder, she will never leave.  Thus inflicting the Abyss upon her children to serve the altar of her ego.

Posted by: Chelsea Puma (+SmuD) at August 29, 2013 03:14 PM (aUpYR)

122 87 Hey, leave Allison alone.

She's an intelligent woman with great ideas for the future.

Posted by: Trailer Park Finger Bangers Assoc. at August 29, 2013 07:07 PM (E3gqr)



Tell her to get the fuck out of *my* trailer parks!


Fuck off, I got work to do!

Posted by: Cyrus at August 29, 2013 03:15 PM (bufJH)

123 I went to what was considered a very good public school system, but it was in the forefront of every stupid "education" trend in the 70s. So we had schools without walls, very little "tracking" by aptitude, values clarification, etc. I still got a good education, but that's because I liked learning and, most importantly, my parents got involved. My mom in particular was key to getting parental review of curricula and the like. She even had a guest column in a professional teacher's journal ( as the Book-burner Mom). So I know it can be done and I do see benefits for both kids and communities in particcipating. I learned how to stick up for myself at an early age and learned how to desl with a lot of different types of people. College was a piece of cake. If I had kids I would most likely have sent them to public school. (I denounce myself.)

Posted by: Y-not is so over it at August 29, 2013 03:15 PM (5H6zj)

124 Second: Fuck you, you fucking b*tch. How dare you, you semi-sentient pile of pig manure? Fuck you to Hell and back, then back to Hell whereupon you can be fucked for all eternity by the Barbed Cock of Satan. ------------ You're making JeffB uncomfortable.

Posted by: Adam at August 29, 2013 03:15 PM (Aif/5)

125 Clint Eastwood, wife Dina Eastwood split after 17 years of marriage The two have been living separately for more than a year. She's probably a liberal

Posted by: Nevergiveup at August 29, 2013 03:16 PM (9Xc5j)

126 About the "all be equally miserable" thing... I just found out that part of the union contract for the public school I'm at stipulates that every other week the teachers must show up early for "planning time" before school, which then starts a hour later. But apparently, since it's "unfair" for teachers who don't have a first period class to still have to come in early, no teachers can leave until the end of the school day, even if they have no last period responsibilities. Uh...spiteful waste of productivity much?

Posted by: JeremiadBullfrog at August 29, 2013 03:16 PM (Y5I9o)

127 I feel guilty, oh so guilty!

Posted by: Allison Bentadic at August 29, 2013 03:16 PM (Dwehj)

128
Slate Podcast: DoubleX Gabfest: The No Sex and All Kindness Edition

Listen to SlateÂ’s show about Orthodox Jewish feminists, life without sex, and kindness.





So, it's like one of those Saw movies, right?


Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at August 29, 2013 03:17 PM (kdS6q)

129 See, Double X Factor cuz teh chromosomes of the wimmenz, get it? grrrrrllllll power.

Posted by: booger at August 29, 2013 03:17 PM (xRDdL)

130 She sure is bitter about not having had the opportunity to go to a private school.

And she learned so little she had to copy hubby's work? Yep, reads like a failure to me. He must've been the one who got to go to private school... or at least a public one demanding students read TWO books.

Well done, Slate. One day you can aspire to be Newsweek which sold for $1.00... if you cut bait on your staff now.

Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at August 29, 2013 03:17 PM (eHIJJ)

131 >>>I think my favorite Jeff B. a hole moment was when he announced that he could tell--

1.) When was this?  I forget.

2.) Why are we even discussing me?  Did I miss something elsewhere where I became the topic of discussion for some dumb reason?

Posted by: Jeff B., what has finally had it with this RINO shit at August 29, 2013 03:17 PM (n/+FT)

132 >>> 104 Dear Mizzzzzz Benedikt (I'm sure you hate Mrs. with a firey passion). You want to borrow my lighter?

Posted by: fluffy at August 29, 2013 03:17 PM (mh2wr)

133

120  mine was right after the election when he blamed me for Romney losing

some shit like it was democrat plants like me going to blogs to keep people from voting

 

we all know i'm here just to get everyone to turn against those asshole green bay packers

Posted by: navycopjoe at August 29, 2013 03:18 PM (djLPp)

134 Also, I'm going to be a bigger bitch. Wait, she's paying $5000/month in childcare? Does that mean that she's sending her kids to a *gasp* private preschool? Why aren't those kids in headstart?

Posted by: Lauren at August 29, 2013 03:18 PM (ELdpj)

135 I realize this turd from Slate is just troll-baiting, but Allison Benedikt is a prime example of why I homeschool my children.[]/i]

Same here. I found the author's 'for the good of the state' argument remarkably creepy.

Posted by: Slublog at August 29, 2013 03:18 PM (SjVZP)

136 "Stone walls nor iron bars a prison make,
But willful ignorance makes a good substitute."

Posted by: Chelsea Puma (+SmuD) at August 29, 2013 03:18 PM (aUpYR)

137 You want to borrow my lighter? I wouldn't waste your fuel.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) Channeling Breitbart at August 29, 2013 03:18 PM (nUH8H)

138 Move to Kansas. Houses are a fraction of what they cost in LA and I assume NY. Low taxes and great schools. 
The gods hate Kansas.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot Jr. at August 29, 2013 03:18 PM (yE6xT)

139 Oh, and give it six months of her kids in a public school, and she and hubby will be plotting which parents they have to kill and which administrators they have to blow in order to gain admission to a private school.

Posted by: Colorado Alex at August 29, 2013 03:18 PM (lr3d7)

140 Why are we even discussing me? Did I miss something elsewhere where I became the topic of discussion for some dumb reason? ------- Gabe has the day off?

Posted by: Jenny Hates Her Phone at August 29, 2013 03:18 PM (GmTxn)

141 Unions. ...Is there anything they can't screw up?

Posted by: wheatie at August 29, 2013 03:18 PM (Hy+VQ)

142 Finally, I'll just repost my response from elsewhere:

I love how this woman complains about the fact that sheÂ’s never read the classics. If only there were some place that you could go to find books. Some large building where you could find shelves upon shelves of books, including many of the classics. Even better, this mystical place would allow you, after registering and paying a small fee, to take these books home for a specified period of time. I know itÂ’s crazy, right?

You know whatÂ’s even crazier? If there were stores where you could buy books, including many that have been used previously, at inexpensive prices. You could take books home and place them on horizontal boards within reach of you children. Perhaps you could even read to them at night when theyÂ’re young, and encourage them to read for entertainment as they grow up.

Posted by: Colorado Alex at August 29, 2013 07:10 PM (lr3d7)


--Some classics are even free on the Intertoobz.  Or does she not know how to use it, and hands over a floppy disk every time she has a piece due?

Posted by: Cyrus at August 29, 2013 03:19 PM (bufJH)

143 Ace, Show us on the doll where the bad Slate bloggers touched you...

Posted by: The Political Hat at August 29, 2013 03:19 PM (XvHmy)

144 Fuck off, Cyrus sock!

Posted by: logprof at August 29, 2013 03:19 PM (bufJH)

145 If this human lava lamp's proposal catches on, maybe all the progressives will go to incompetently-run public schools where you don't have to read, and fifth-tier colleges, and maybe there will be such a thing as a real college humanities department again. I'm starting to like the cut of her jib.

Posted by: Splunge at August 29, 2013 03:19 PM (bKA83)

146 Move to Kansas. Houses are a fraction of what they cost in LA and I assume NY. Low taxes and great schools.

Posted by: TWERK4PEACE!

This. Full disclosure: I was home-schooled in part but I spent all four years of high school in the public education system and not only took some great AP classes but left with some college credit already under my belt.

Posted by: The Obsidian Owl at August 29, 2013 03:19 PM (AhcXF)

147 Slate set up the twerking to get comment and attention.

They will need more, soon.

Posted by: Mikey NTH - Buy Spleen Ultra! Now With Oxidizers! at August 29, 2013 03:20 PM (gmoEG)

148

:sigh:

Fine, the bitch convinced me of one thing, I really need to be involved in my local school district in case money flow issues force me to utilize it (or my wife who seems to hate the idea of spending money on school, but whatever.)

 

Fine then, when I have kids (but before school age) I'll get involved.

Although Slate's Bitchy McBitchy pants probably isn't going to like the outcome of my involvement .

Posted by: tsrblke at August 29, 2013 03:20 PM (GaqMa)

149 No, she'll be stunted by the least-common-denominator curriculum, bullied by the normals, and sneered at by the teachers...and probably used as an unpaid teaching assistant. "You can do long division, instead of learning something new you can spend the year helping the dumb kids."

^^This was pretty much my entire public school experience. 

Posted by: Captain Whitebread at August 29, 2013 03:20 PM (5J54Q)

150 103 Watching the Jets preseason game. Looks like high school football with out the cute cheerleaders

OPPs- first series jets get caught for a safety in the end zone

Posted by: Nevergiveup at August 29, 2013 07:10 PM (9Xc5j)


--Did Geno Smith turn the ball over already?

Posted by: logprof at August 29, 2013 03:20 PM (bufJH)

151

143  Show us on the doll where the bad Slate bloggers touched you

 

how did I miss this?!!!

 

need coffee and less watching tatu baby on ink master

Posted by: navycopjoe at August 29, 2013 03:21 PM (djLPp)

152 1.) When was this? I forget. 2.) Why are we even discussing me? Did I miss something elsewhere where I became the topic of discussion for some dumb reason? Posted by: Jeff B., what has finally had it with this RINO shit at August 29, 2013 07:17 PM (n/+FT) **************** How many suggestions for the horde to get--better educated have you slyly dropped today? You think you are all suave but-- your inner Beltist shines through--try as you might. It's good that you are funny though. I'm waiting for someone to take the bait and get you rolling.

Posted by: tasker at August 29, 2013 03:21 PM (r2PLg)

153 Kylie Jenner smashes $125K SUV 18 days after getting license Because all 18 year olds need and deserve a $125,000 car. Wanna bet she was on the phone at the time

Posted by: Nevergiveup at August 29, 2013 03:21 PM (9Xc5j)

154 Look, someone has to buy this shitty Mexican ditchweed so we can pay the rent.
Hell, she even paid for the Natty Lites....


Posted by: Trailer Park Finger Bangers Assoc. at August 29, 2013 03:22 PM (E3gqr)

155

WORTH THE WAIT!!!!

 

As we have learned from Huxley (or Ace, if you haven't fucking read it you ignorant ass) we can't all be Alphas.

 

I have read this woman, and she is no Alpha.  LOL.

Posted by: Prescient11 at August 29, 2013 03:22 PM (tVTLU)

156 Does that mean that she's sending her kids to a *gasp* private preschool? Why aren't those kids in headstart?

With the drunk kids from the [I'm guessing there aren't a lot of trailer parks in Brooklyn, but it would be racist to use any other phrase to refer to the underclass, wouldn't it?]?

Posted by: HeatherRadish™ needs a beer at August 29, 2013 03:22 PM (/kI1Q)

157

150  --Did Geno Smith turn the ball over already?

 

at least they still have mark sanchez...

oh shit

Posted by: navycopjoe at August 29, 2013 03:22 PM (djLPp)

158 People all over the world have been reading the Classics forever, there's no way it's harder today. Onion-worthy argument.

Posted by: Lincolntf at August 29, 2013 03:22 PM (ZshNr)

159 --Did Geno Smith turn the ball over already? Posted by: logprof at August 29, 2013 07:20 PM (bufJH) NOt play. actually Jets scored- Matt Sims,Phil Sims younger son is at QB

Posted by: Nevergiveup at August 29, 2013 03:22 PM (9Xc5j)

160 >>> I wouldn't waste your fuel. How about a freshly sharpened hatchet?

Posted by: fluffy at August 29, 2013 03:22 PM (mh2wr)

161 Fuck off, Cyrus sock! Ha ! Knew it was you .

Posted by: Bill D. Cat at August 29, 2013 03:23 PM (0iJzo)

162 If You Send Your Kid to Private School, You Are a Bad Person



I confess.  We weren't just bad parents, but evil.  Bwahahahahahaha!

Posted by: Jane D'oh at August 29, 2013 03:23 PM (lVPtV)

163

106...just a compromise, I don't want to use the f-word as much, and I think it's kind of fun just to garble it.

 

Posted by: ace at August 29, 2013 07:11 PM (/IWYB)

 

 

How about...twuck...instead?

You could be a trendsetter, and end up in the Oxford Dictionary.


 

Posted by: wheatie at August 29, 2013 03:24 PM (Hy+VQ)

164 "Send" nothing. I keep my kids home, where they learn faster, better and with less wasted time than what the local state school would offer.

Posted by: Long-time Commenter, First-time Reader at August 29, 2013 03:24 PM (pl1y3)

165 That post was as good as my best vintage Mad Dog 20/20. No, better; it was as tasty as crackhead group sex in the weeds down to the rail yards. Nationalizing private schools. Yeah, that's the ticket. Sidwell goes first, I hope. But the premise is just so compelling, like food that's just like crack, it appeals to the Rousseau side of me. Private bathrooms? Nah, that's classist. People's homes? No, the Peoples Homes!

Posted by: MTF at August 29, 2013 03:24 PM (Cjjf6)

166 >>>How many suggestions for the horde to get--better educated have you slyly dropped today?

Umm...none?  Near as I can tell, other than clowning on these idiot Slate writers, the only other things I wrote about were language change and being a language geek, and...erm, Jethro Tull I think?

Am I missing something, bro?

Posted by: Jeff B., what has finally had it with this RINO shit at August 29, 2013 03:24 PM (n/+FT)

167

>>"--Some classics are even free on the Intertoobz."

 

Kindle. Tons of free classics (although some are really high for some odd reason).

Posted by: Lea at August 29, 2013 03:24 PM (/bd0t)

168 I think everyone should be on food stamps. You know, skin in the game.

Posted by: jakeman at August 29, 2013 03:24 PM (GXKTh)

169 for the 2016 election the GOP needs to hand out vouchers worth 25,000 votes so the southern hillbillies can vote for a northeast moderate so we can bring in jobs for our cities  ----  Jeff B West

Posted by: navycopjoe at August 29, 2013 03:25 PM (djLPp)

170 She seems to have adopted (heh) the attitude of some public skool teachers that were claiming just how underpaid they were because they were nothing but glorified babysitters. And since they were babysitting, they should be paid $6/hour per child. And yes, I'm totes serious about this argument being made.
 
You see, we are semi-willing to pay enormous property taxes so that the chillens can be warehoused from age 6 to age 18 or so. If they happen to learn something, that's bonus points but not required.

Posted by: GnuBreed at August 29, 2013 03:25 PM (cHZB7)

171 New York has universal Pre-K. I just checked.

Posted by: Lauren at August 29, 2013 03:25 PM (ELdpj)

172 161 Fuck off, Cyrus sock!

Ha ! Knew it was you .

Posted by: Bill D. Cat at August 29, 2013 07:23 PM (0iJzo)


--Cyrus then told me to fuck on.

Posted by: logprof at August 29, 2013 03:26 PM (bufJH)

173 You know the use of the term "spawn" really puts a bow on the turd. You can really tell she loves children and would do anything - anything - to help those cute little lumps-of-cells-that-get-the-floors-all-dirty.

Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at August 29, 2013 03:26 PM (eHIJJ)

174 Ace You are in TOP mother fucking form. Kind of disgusted by all my dick slobberingly sycophantic brown nosing, but you are nailing this shit.

Posted by: Eton Cox at August 29, 2013 03:26 PM (q177U)

175 Oh I think I recommended George Orwell's Politics and the English Language in the context of busting Ace's hump for writing another long essay on the subject of cliches.  And linked to an online version. 

Surely that's not what you're referring to, is it?

Posted by: Jeff B., what has finally had it with this RINO shit at August 29, 2013 03:27 PM (n/+FT)

176 163 106...just a compromise, I don't want to use the f-word as much, and I think it's kind of fun just to garble it.

Posted by: ace at August 29, 2013 07:11 PM (/IWYB)


How about...twuck...instead?
You could be a trendsetter, and end up in the Oxford Dictionary.

Posted by: wheatie at August 29, 2013 07:24 PM (Hy+VQ)


--Careful with your spelling, or we'll sue.

Posted by: French Connection UK at August 29, 2013 03:27 PM (bufJH)

177 Great Caesar's Toast, *NOW* I get important phone calls? *NOW?* I HAVE RANTING TO DO!!!!

Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith [/i] [/b] [/s] [/u] at August 29, 2013 03:27 PM (qyfb5)

178
Kylie Jenner smashes $125K SUV 18 days after getting license
Posted by: Nevergiveu



Armenian driver *shrugs*


Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at August 29, 2013 03:28 PM (kdS6q)

179 167
>>"--Some classics are even free on the Intertoobz."

Kindle. Tons of free classics (although some are really high for some odd reason).

Posted by: Lea at August 29, 2013 07:24 PM (/bd0t)


--I downloaded all of Thomas Hardy' major works for $3.

Posted by: logprof at August 29, 2013 03:28 PM (bufJH)

180 By the way, Ace's deconstruction here actually convinces me that this really was a deliberate act of trolling on the part of the silly author.  I don't doubt that she actually holds a version of the view she's espousing, but the WAY she argued it?  Clearly designed to piss people off and garner hits.  That's it, and the word "spawn" for whatever is what tipped me over the edge.

Posted by: Jeff B., what has finally had it with this RINO shit at August 29, 2013 03:28 PM (n/+FT)

181 You just can't parody that 'manifesto'. 

Posted by: rabidfox at August 29, 2013 03:28 PM (Gejy0)

182 Armenian driver *shrugs* ------ Damn. There was a misogyny card you could've played. The ethnic card is a bold move.

Posted by: Jenny Hates Her Phone at August 29, 2013 03:29 PM (GmTxn)

183 I went K–12 to a terrible public school. My high school didn’t offer AP classes, and in four years, I only had to read one book. She links the one book in her post, and it was Pearl S. Buck's "The Good Earth". I haven't read it, but it seems to have a good reputation. Fun fact: I used to live right down the road from the Pearl S. Buck House and Museum. I mean within walking distance. I drove past it all the time. Never did get around to stopping in, though.

Posted by: rickl at August 29, 2013 03:29 PM (sdi6R)

184 How's this for revolting. From the AP. Gag inducing: BALTIMORE — A lawyer for Army Pvt. Chelsea Manning says the soldier is doing well as she goes through the indoctrination process at Fort Leavenworth. David Coombs says on his blog Thursday that he was able to speak with Manning, previously known as Bradley Manning, while she goes through the three-week indoctrinations. Coombs says inmates are not usually allowed to have outside contact during that time, but the U.S. Disciplinary Barracks made an exception for Manning. Coombs says Wednesday was the first time he talked with Manning since she was sentenced to 35 years for leaking mountains of classified material to the anti-secrecy website WikiLeaks. The lawyer says Manning has made friends and is grateful for the support for her decision to live as a woman. Copyright 2013 The Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed. Hey chelsea what's that lump in your pants, or are you just excite to see me?

Posted by: Nevergiveup at August 29, 2013 03:30 PM (9Xc5j)

185 If Allison did read any of the Classics, she would probably be as lacking in self-awareness as poor Francesca.  So if she did stumble upon Francesca's story, would have no idea how well it applied to her.

Fresco, then, who could no longer brook her inordinate affection, replied roughly to her, "Niece, if disagreeable persons displease you, be sure you never look at yourself."  She, however, as empty as a pithless cane, though she thought herself as wise as Solomon, understood her uncle's meaning no more than a sheep, but said she would look at herself as well as other people. Thus she remained in her ignorance, and still continues in the same state.
-- Day VI  Emilia's Story. 
Tales of the Decameron by Giovanni Boccaccio.

Posted by: Chelsea Puma (+SmuD) at August 29, 2013 03:30 PM (aUpYR)

186 Oh she can go fuck a duck.


Posted by: alexthechick - Team SMOD at August 29, 2013 03:30 PM (Gk3SS)

187 175 Oh I think I recommended George Orwell's Politics and the English Language in the context of busting Ace's hump for writing another long essay on the subject of cliches. And linked to an online version. Surely that's not what you're referring to, is it? Posted by: Jeff B., what has finally had it with this RINO shit at August 29, 2013 07:27 PM (n/+FT) **************** Listen I mostly agree with you in a lot of areas. But you could use--how shall we say this-- more finesse. (Not the shampoo.)

Posted by: tasker at August 29, 2013 03:31 PM (r2PLg)

188

twuck...twucking...twucker

 

Used in a sentence:

"I am sick of all these twucking snakes on this muther-twucking plane!"

 

Or:

"She was so adept at twerking, it was evident that she would be a good twuck."

Posted by: wheatie at August 29, 2013 03:31 PM (Hy+VQ)

189 Well, if these libs are willing to buck the usual lib thing (rail about all the sacrifices OTHER people need to make to fix problems, serial you guys), and actually sign their kids up for miserable shithole schools FOR THE CAUSE (TM) ......well, I've gotta give them credit for that.

I still don't want them or anyone like them near me or mine ("near" to include "in the same country")....but there's something to be said for someone who is willing to destroy/severely impair the lives of his or her loved ones, solely to satisfy irrational beliefs. 

Quaint, even. From a safe distance.

Posted by: Hawkins1701 at August 29, 2013 03:31 PM (zUpfM)

190 I don't even know what to say. Except that she should be killed. Immediately. Lest the infection spread. And someone call Protective Services for the safety and well being of her 'spawn'. They've clearly got a better shot at a decent life in an orphanage.

Posted by: JQP at August 29, 2013 03:31 PM (U4GjV)

191 Okay, by now it should be obvious even to the slowest among us.  The writers at Slate are, in fact, writing for AOSHQ.  They're just doing it with the resources of Slate.com.  AOSHQ doesn't pay, and they weren't good enough to work at The Onion.  The get paid by Slate to write for Ace.

Sweet deal.  Hope they never catch on.





And Matt Yglesias is a woman.  A bitch, at least.

Posted by: Rufus T. firefly at August 29, 2013 03:32 PM (ymovd)

192
The ethnic card is a bold move.
Posted by: Jenny Hates Her Phone




Actually, turns out the younger ones aren't, the older ones from the first marriage are.

So, she has no excuse.

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at August 29, 2013 03:32 PM (kdS6q)

193 One Republican aide likened the late flurry of invites to "unvitations," the "Seinfeld"-inspired practice of inviting someone to an event with the knowledge that they won't attend.

Posted by: Islamic Rage Boy at August 29, 2013 03:32 PM (q2b5x)

194 186  your awaited rant is at 104

Posted by: navycopjoe at August 29, 2013 03:32 PM (djLPp)

195 188 twuck...twucking...twucker

Used in a sentence:
"I am sick of all these twucking snakes on this muther-twucking plane!"

Or:
"She was so adept at twerking, it was evident that she would be a good twuck."

Posted by: wheatie at August 29, 2013 07:31 PM (Hy+VQ)



That's too confusing.

Posted by: Bawney Fwank at August 29, 2013 03:33 PM (bufJH)

196 Oh she can go fuck a duck. Posted by: alexthechick - Team SMOD at August 29, 2013 07:30 PM (Gk3SS) Oh, so you've seen the Allison Benedikt Sex Tape.

Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith [/i] [/b] [/s] [/u] at August 29, 2013 03:33 PM (qyfb5)

197 Clearly designed to piss people off and garner hits.

Too clever by half.  Occams razor suggest she's simply the muddled brain imbecile she claims to be.

Posted by: Manifesto de Purp[/i][/b][/u][/s] at August 29, 2013 03:33 PM (2BHYC)

198 >>> "She was so adept at twerking, it was evident that she would be a good twuck." Ahh, savor the incongruous juxtaposition of the words I that sentence. Adept. Twerk. Sassy!

Posted by: fluffy at August 29, 2013 03:35 PM (mh2wr)

199 Since I am having only short breaks here during the most ranty post of the day; http://www.johntaylorgatto.com/ http://www.deliberatedumbingdown.com/ It wasn't an accident, and continuing to do it is suicidally stupid. It makes me sick to watch the numb crowd marching off the cliff, dragging me like I'm tied to them with a rope.

Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith [/i] [/b] [/s] [/u] at August 29, 2013 03:36 PM (qyfb5)

200 "Heed it" was the word were looking for but that word would have been contained in the second book you should have read in high school. Yes. I did, indeed, LOL. Vintage Ace.

Posted by: AmishDude at August 29, 2013 03:36 PM (xSegX)

201

OT  speaking of rants, AllenG can toss a good one, AtC and EoJ can blast a fool but the scarest put you in the fetal position ranter

anyone remember sickinmass?

 

one time a troll went off on sassypants and sweet god the asskicking rant was EPIC

it melted the video cards on my laptop

Posted by: navycopjoe at August 29, 2013 03:36 PM (djLPp)

202
Oh she can go fuck a duck.
Posted by: alexthechick




In the imperative, exclamatory or descriptive sense?


Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at August 29, 2013 03:37 PM (kdS6q)

203 Rubber or vinyl?

The duck that is.

Posted by: Chelsea Puma (+SmuD) at August 29, 2013 03:38 PM (aUpYR)

204 You'd have to get on your knees to twerk a duck.

Posted by: wheatie at August 29, 2013 03:38 PM (Hy+VQ)

205 AFLAC!

Posted by: Allison Benedikt's Boy Toy [/i] [/b] [/s] [/u] at August 29, 2013 03:39 PM (qyfb5)

206 In the imperative, exclamatory or descriptive sense?

I'll take door number 3.

Posted by: Allison Bentadic at August 29, 2013 03:39 PM (Dwehj)

207 Seems I left just in time.

Posted by: Zombie Chris Hitchens at August 29, 2013 03:39 PM (vAiDn)

208 Thanks for cutting me a break, alexthechick.  I was worked over while she was typing that.

Posted by: The Chicken at August 29, 2013 03:39 PM (bufJH)

209 Unless its this duck
http://tinyurl.com/oux5fwu

Posted by: Chelsea Puma (+SmuD) at August 29, 2013 03:40 PM (aUpYR)

210 In the imperative, exclamatory or descriptive sense?

I only know "imperative" from trying to learn German as an adult.  When I reference my "third grade education", I'm really not kidding.

...but I'm renting a house with two toilets for a teeny fraction of what Ms. Make-Your-Children-As-Limited-As-I-Am is paying for just one, so I've got that.

Posted by: HeatherRadish™ needs a beer at August 29, 2013 03:40 PM (/kI1Q)

211
Oh she can go fuck a duck.
Posted by: alexthechick




Dear Penthouse Letters:

I never thought something like this could ever really happen to me.

Signed,
A. Duck

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at August 29, 2013 03:40 PM (kdS6q)

212 Her post self-refutes. Reading it is an argument against public schools.

Posted by: Mr. Feverhead at August 29, 2013 03:40 PM (SzAZ7)

213 Can someone on twitter ask her why she's not utilizing free, universal public pre-k?

Posted by: Lauren at August 29, 2013 03:40 PM (ELdpj)

214 Really, Allen, fuck's okay but bitch is a bridge too far?   Look, I know you're trying to be respectful to women but, remember, a womyn doesn't require the same courtesy.



You know, I was positive this was going to be the same pathetic being who selectively aborted two of her kids when she found out she was pregnant with triplets because omg she might have to move to Long Island and shop at Costco.

Posted by: alexthechick - Team SMOD at August 29, 2013 03:41 PM (Gk3SS)

215 212 Her post self-refutes. Reading it is an argument against public schools.

Posted by: Mr. Feverhead at August 29, 2013 07:40 PM


--Once the bombs start dropping on Syria, look for a lot of self-refuting shit from liberals and RINOs making Emperor Baraka's new clothes.

Posted by: logprof at August 29, 2013 03:43 PM (bufJH)

216 What's her name? Abentdick?

Posted by: Bitter Clinger and All That (Ecclesiates 9:11) at August 29, 2013 03:43 PM (28TG+)

217 Allison Benedikt - a gamma-ray burst of stupidity that collided with the planet Earth.

Posted by: dissent555 at August 29, 2013 03:43 PM (yR6A1)

218 the "getting drunk and fingered," the mailman bit... classic.

Posted by: BossTweed at August 29, 2013 03:43 PM (MtCwV)

219 "186 Oh she can go fuck a duck. Posted by: alexthechick - Team SMOD at August 29, 2013 07:30 PM (Gk3SS)" ......Oh boy oh boy!!!

Posted by: Donald at August 29, 2013 03:43 PM (q6iGB)

220 199 http://www.johntaylorgatto.com/ http://www.deliberatedumbingdown.com/ It wasn't an accident, and continuing to do it is suicidally stupid. It makes me sick to watch the numb crowd marching off the cliff, dragging me like I'm tied to them with a rope. Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith at August 29, 2013 07:36 PM (qyfb5) Are you insinuating that the New Dark Age won't be all fun & games?

Posted by: rickl at August 29, 2013 03:43 PM (sdi6R)

221 No, atc, I remember that woman who killed two of her kids to avoid minivan martyrdom. She was called Jenny.

Posted by: Jenny Hates That Other Jenny at August 29, 2013 03:44 PM (b48id)

222 Someone in Texas check on AllenG and make sure he's ok. I fear he may have blown a seal.

Posted by: fluffy at August 29, 2013 03:45 PM (mh2wr)

223 Jenny of LI had three kids
Then she got Gosnell's Magik Vacuum
So she downsized to one kid
To avoid the Costoc crowds.

Posted by: Chelsea Puma (+SmuD) at August 29, 2013 03:46 PM (aUpYR)

224 Someone in Texas check on AllenG. ---- Not it!

Posted by: Jenny Hates That Other Jenny at August 29, 2013 03:46 PM (b48id)

225 Another spooky will-o'-the-wisp post.

Posted by: logprof at August 29, 2013 03:46 PM (bufJH)

226 Did anyone ever make the screenplay of the story about the adult woman who learns that she could have been a triplet but her mom killed her sisters?

Posted by: HeatherRadish™ needs a beer at August 29, 2013 03:48 PM (/kI1Q)

227 I remember going through the counselor's files of packets sent out from State and Federal DOEs (with permission). There are reasons why not worth going into at this point, but "an ideological conspiracy against the public" is not too strong a phrase to use. And it has been going on since before I was born, and nobody is going to do anything about it until it's too late, and we're boned. Because who wants to live in a world where that is true? So, you know, pretend it isn't.

Posted by: Allison Benedikt's Boy Toy [/i] [/b] [/s] [/u] at August 29, 2013 03:48 PM (qyfb5)

228 Something about Churchill and equal sharing of misery comes to mind.

Posted by: Wonkish Rogue at August 29, 2013 03:49 PM (dvRYt)

229 226 Did anyone ever make the screenplay of the story about the adult woman who learns that she could have been a triplet but her mom killed her sisters? Posted by: HeatherRadish™ needs a beer at August 29, 2013 07:48 PM (/kI1Q) I think there was an X-Files episode about an evil ghostly twin that possessed the surviving one.

Posted by: Allison Benedikt's Boy Toy [/i] [/b] [/s] [/u] at August 29, 2013 03:49 PM (qyfb5)

230 The water fountains in her public school utopia will all squirt Brawndo...or brown sludge

Posted by: Manifesto de Purp[/i][/b][/u][/s] at August 29, 2013 03:50 PM (2BHYC)

231

People who send their kids to private schools are bad people.  Public school teachers are twice as likely to send their kids to private schools, therefore public school teachers are statsitically more likely to be bad people than the general public.

Since public school teachers are so likely to be bad people, only other bad people would send their kids to public school.

Therefore, since people who send their kids to either public or private schools are bad people, only home schoolers are good people.

Slate has said so, it must be true.

Posted by: malclave at August 29, 2013 03:50 PM (W1Ndc)

232 Compelling argument from the fact based community.  I'm sold.  Collectivism may be absolute hell for generations, but there is a marginal possibility of "fine" later on.  Sign me up. 

Posted by: Dave S. at August 29, 2013 03:51 PM (UvR6d)

233

Less Ubermenchen, Moar Ubermunchkin!

Posted by: Allison Bennedict at August 29, 2013 03:51 PM (+QaoZ)

234 Benedikt employs brokedick logic.

Posted by: logprof at August 29, 2013 03:53 PM (bufJH)

235 Did someone say ducks?

Posted by: Qweef Olberdouche at August 29, 2013 03:53 PM (Dwehj)

236 222 Someone in Texas check on AllenG and make sure he's ok. I fear he may have blown a seal.

What's this about someone blowing seals?

Posted by: a horny seal at August 29, 2013 03:53 PM (xRDdL)

237 My husband and some buddies attend a U. of SC game every year with a rapid grad fan.

They're at the opening game tonight, and I'm convinced they enjoy going so they can yell, "Go Cocks!"

Posted by: Jane D'oh at August 29, 2013 03:54 PM (lVPtV)

238 Comment thread has evolved to abortion? Not what I expected. Okay. I'm fine with that. Dang, Ace, you're piling on the homework. Got a lot to read.

Posted by: L, elle at August 29, 2013 03:54 PM (0PiQ4)

239 "Don’t just acknowledge your liberal guilt—listen to it." I think you're being punked Ace. Allison Benedikt doesn't write drivel like this ... she's insightful, witty, articulate, urbane, clever .. at least, when she keeps to her schedule cocktail of medications.

Posted by: Arbalest at August 29, 2013 03:54 PM (FlRtG)

240 NO woman EVER means anything good when they use the word 'Fine'.

Posted by: garrett at August 29, 2013 03:55 PM (+QaoZ)

241 The Idiocracy Manifesto.

Posted by: real joe at August 29, 2013 03:55 PM (5wsCu)

242 One does not need a weatherman to know the leftists are scumbags, megalomaniacs, butchers, deceivers, and wannabe dictators. There is nothing worth listening to on the left side of the bell curve. There is no neutral ground where a rational, logical conversation can take place. There is no grey. One day, and it won't be long, it will come down to dust.

Posted by: angel with a sword at August 29, 2013 03:55 PM (hpgw1)

243 Words to fear:

Okay. Fine!

No. Really it's okay.

Just go do what you were going to.

I'm not mad.

Posted by: Bitter Clinger and All That (Ecclesiates 9:11) at August 29, 2013 03:56 PM (28TG+)

244 They're at the opening game tonight, and I'm convinced they enjoy going so they can yell, "Go Cocks!"

Posted by: Jane D'oh at August 29, 2013 07:54 PM (lVPtV)


That Jadaveon Clowney is a 'Cock who can sure stuff running backs!

Posted by: Jon Gruden at August 29, 2013 03:56 PM (bufJH)

245 240 NO woman EVER means anything good when they use the word 'Fine'.

Huma lied to me???

Posted by: Anthony Weiner at August 29, 2013 03:56 PM (bKA83)

246 What's this about someone blowing seals? Posted by: a horny seal He's MINE, you hussy!

Posted by: Randy McSeamammal, Dolphin Lothario at August 29, 2013 03:56 PM (m9V0o)

247 Just told an NYC FB friend that if we attack Syria she will probably be better off staying in Greece on an island.  Yeah she is going 'wtf is the President thinking?' on FB from Greece plus saying let the Saudis do their own dirty work.

Posted by: Chelsea Puma (+SmuD) at August 29, 2013 03:57 PM (aUpYR)

248 226 Did anyone ever make the screenplay of the story about the adult woman who learns that she could have been a triplet but her mom killed her sisters?

Posted by: HeatherRadish™ needs a beer at August 29, 2013 07:48 PM (/kI1Q)



Why wait until she's an adult?  Let her find out as a hormone-raging pre-teen and go all stabby on her mother. 

Posted by: Jane D'oh at August 29, 2013 03:57 PM (lVPtV)

249 Duh. I just had an epiphany. She thinks that public school is teh awesome because she sees it as her ticket out of her 1 bathroom apartment. Once those kids are in public school she'll have all that money to spend. Whee! Of course, if the public school is awful she might find herself compelled to send her kids to expensive private school. So, in order to avoid spending the money, she is preemptively declaring it a good thing for her kids to go to a crappy public school. Bam.

Posted by: Lauren at August 29, 2013 03:58 PM (ELdpj)

250 44 The Civil War started in 1862. Posted by: Quentin Tarantino at August 29, 2013 06:58 PM (bufJH) Kind of. It started in 1861, but it didn't really get cooking until Shiloh.

Posted by: rickl at August 29, 2013 03:58 PM (sdi6R)

251 wow, but some libs love the idea of killing off private ed, I just read a little Matty Y. on Twitter talking about killing off Jacobist/obscurianist religions.  I think I've been well served by ignoring this guy for so long.

Posted by: joeindc44 at August 29, 2013 03:58 PM (Jl9aq)

252 There's a fat man, in the bathtub...

Posted by: Qweef Olberdouche at August 29, 2013 03:58 PM (Dwehj)

253 222 fluffy Nah, it was just ice cream.

Posted by: speedster1 on the iPad at August 29, 2013 03:58 PM (yeM7r)

254 Ace: Did you know that Matty Y's thesis (in college, I assume)(and I assume it was an important one, you know) was on a similar issue?

Posted by: joeindc44 at August 29, 2013 03:58 PM (Jl9aq)

255 fluffy: "Someone in Texas check on AllenG and make sure he's ok. I fear he may have blown a seal."

Look, I like AllenG and all but not like that. Ask the Chicken.

Posted by: Mr. Phoca Vitulina at August 29, 2013 04:00 PM (eHIJJ)

256 Ted Nugent's Wife
ARRESTED
Gun at the Airport Exclusive http://tinyurl.com/o6nxeen

Posted by: caustic at August 29, 2013 04:00 PM (/b8+5)

257 250 44 The Civil War started in 1862.

Posted by: Quentin Tarantino at August 29, 2013 06:58 PM (bufJH)

Kind of. It started in 1861, but it didn't really get cooking until Shiloh.

Posted by: rickl at August 29, 2013 07:58 PM (sdi6R)


--I forgot to paste the part about her never learning the dates of the Civil War when I used the QT sock.  The reference is to the opening scene in Django where at the bottom of the screen it reads: "1860"/fade/"Two years before the Civil War"


I shit you not.

Posted by: logprof at August 29, 2013 04:01 PM (bufJH)

258 NO woman EVER means anything good when they use the word 'Fine'.

Posted by: garrett at August 29, 2013 07:55 PM (+QaoZ)


Heh. It's the tone in the voice, too.

Posted by: Retread at August 29, 2013 04:01 PM (Oz+LZ)

259 243 Words to fear:
Okay. Fine!
No. Really it's okay.
Just go do what you were going to.
I'm not mad.

Also "nothing," or, worse, "it's nothing."

The second one means that there's an "it" that is fully worked out, but she's not gonna tell you until you drag it out of her.

Posted by: Splunge at August 29, 2013 04:01 PM (bKA83)

260 Another word that means trouble with a woman is "whatever".

Posted by: steevy at August 29, 2013 04:03 PM (9XBK2)

261 just read a little Matty Y. on Twitter talking about killing off Jacobist/obscurianist religions

Special Offer: Upgrade your old Jacobist's to Jacobins today for 20% off.

Posted by: Manifesto de Purp[/i][/b][/u][/s] at August 29, 2013 04:03 PM (2BHYC)

262

"1860"/fade/"Two years before the Civil War"

 

 

Yeah, but they didn't say 'Earth Years'.

Posted by: garrett at August 29, 2013 04:04 PM (+QaoZ)

263 Football thread up

Posted by: Chelsea Puma (+SmuD) at August 29, 2013 04:04 PM (aUpYR)

264 Just send the Ravages out now, Empress, she's dense on a whole variety of subjects, and connected to the Gawker 'den of scum and villainy' well nuke it from orbit.

Posted by: Raymond Luxury Yacht at August 29, 2013 04:04 PM (Jsiw/)

265 But she will give the Ravage a tummy ache...

Posted by: Chelsea Puma (+SmuD) at August 29, 2013 04:05 PM (aUpYR)

266

Football thread up

 

Are there elbows? 

I'll go look if there are elbows. 

Posted by: garrett at August 29, 2013 04:06 PM (+QaoZ)

267 Elbows are debatable.

Posted by: Chelsea Puma (+SmuD) at August 29, 2013 04:07 PM (aUpYR)

268 Football thread up Posted by: Chelsea Puma (+SmuD) at August 29, 2013 08:04 PM (aUpYR) So. No need to refresh the main page, then.

Posted by: Allison Benedikt's Boy Toy [/i] [/b] [/s] [/u] at August 29, 2013 04:08 PM (qyfb5)

269 I think I'll stick around here. I don't care much about football. Of course, I checked out the cheerleader pic.

Posted by: rickl at August 29, 2013 04:08 PM (sdi6R)

270 I've read Buck's The Good Earth; I could probably get a job writing for Slate too.
 
I bet the lobotomy wouldn't even hurt that much.

Posted by: GnuBreed at August 29, 2013 04:09 PM (cHZB7)

271 Stupid sock, stupid sock!

Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith [/i] [/b] [/s] [/u] at August 29, 2013 04:09 PM (qyfb5)

272 Someone in Texas check on AllenG

No mushroom cloud visible here so he didn't blow too big of a seal.

Posted by: SpongeBob ReaverSaget at August 29, 2013 04:09 PM (kxSZr)

273 Allison describes herself as a Jewish woman (raising her children as Jews) married to a man she describes as "Jew hating". What to make of that?

Posted by: MTF at August 29, 2013 04:14 PM (Cjjf6)

274 I actually have a friend who is an upper-middle class woman who did this with her kid when the kid started first grade last year.  Over huge fights with her husband (who wanted to send their kid to a private school), she enrolled the kid in public school last fall because "it was the only way to make them better" and she wanted the kid to be "around all kinds of people, which is an education in and of itself" yadda, yadda, yadda. Basically, all the arguments the Slate idiot presents in her "manifesto." I was appalled but what can you say -- it's her kid, not mine. But I (and her husband) got some satisfaction in the end. Long story short: the kid started second grade enrolled in a private school.

And yes -- in case there is any doubt -- this woman is an ardent Obama supporter/lefty.

Posted by: Dancing Queen at August 29, 2013 04:18 PM (FDGeg)

275 Allison describes herself as a Jewish woman (raising her children as Jews) married to a man she describes as "Jew hating". What to make of that? Posted by: MTF at August 29, 2013 08:14 PM (Cjjf6) She's a froot loop?

Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith [/i] [/b] [/s] [/u] at August 29, 2013 04:20 PM (qyfb5)

276 Please tell me Allison looks like a prom queen and can suck the lead paint of a trailer court trailer hitch ball.

Posted by: Fritz at August 29, 2013 04:22 PM (KIHQS)

277 You first, bitch. Or are you one of those Precious Snowflakes who won't have kids because "Gaia is suffering!"

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars[/i][/b][/s] at August 29, 2013 04:23 PM (N6l/o)

278

Yeah, you don't need a good education to get a job. You just need nepotism like Allison.

 

[Through sheer force of will and also nepotism, I get a magazine job.]

http://tinyurl.com/43vqj56

Someone up there NAILED IT.

Posted by: Warden at August 29, 2013 04:23 PM (QIBNd)

279 >>>Someone in Texas check on AllenG and make sure he's ok. I fear he may have blown a seal No, it's just ice cream.

Posted by: DC in Towson at August 29, 2013 04:27 PM (ZFinx)

280 Wow, she *is* a froot loop. Mind you, that was already kind of clear.

Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith [/i] [/b] [/s] [/u] at August 29, 2013 04:28 PM (qyfb5)

281 This might go beyond Fruit Loopiness, into deep, dark weirdness territory. Oh well, not my problem.

Posted by: MTF at August 29, 2013 04:33 PM (Cjjf6)

282 Her husband is the cocksucker who published the names/addresses of all those NYC gun permit holders.

Posted by: Warden at August 29, 2013 04:34 PM (QIBNd)

283 279 DC in T Heh. See my 253 :-)

Posted by: speedster1 on the iPad at August 29, 2013 04:38 PM (yeM7r)

284 Actually, they *are* our problem, because they are *exactly*, *precisely* the kind of person who cannot ever keep their fat grubbies out of everyone else's business.

Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith [/i] [/b] [/s] [/u] at August 29, 2013 04:42 PM (qyfb5)

285 Oh Jesus. She's from Youngstown. I tell ya wot, be careful what you say.

One of the famously rich public school Jews...of Youngstown...

/tilt/

Posted by: comatus at August 29, 2013 04:43 PM (JNUY4)

286 She and her husband are both writers. Who apparently never learned anything in school or college.

This tells me she won't be able to afford anything better than the local crap public school now or probably ever and she's deeply embittered about it. That's just sad.

Posted by: Average Jen at August 29, 2013 04:49 PM (1WdJ6)

287 Well yeah but, Jen, she does get to live in New York City.
And she has a toilet. A.
Bet her folks are proud.

Posted by: comatus at August 29, 2013 04:57 PM (JNUY4)

288 http://tinyurl.com/43vqj56


Someone up there NAILED IT.

Posted by: Warden at August 29, 2013 08:23 PM (QIBNd)



Oh, she's from Ann Arbor. This explains much.

Posted by: holygoat at August 29, 2013 04:59 PM (HYFht)

289 The more I hear the Allisons of the world, the more that I ascribe to their visceral hatred of religion.

Posted by: NYC Parent at August 29, 2013 05:25 PM (hALmG)

290 I read Ms. Bendikt's column. Apparently, she went to a public school that didn't offer courses in logic, either.

Posted by: FredJ at August 29, 2013 05:29 PM (SiI9T)

291 I'm reminded of Eddie Murphy's PSA on SNL.

You're either lucky, or you're a bum.  (His driver, Sammy, went to Harvard.)

Pretty sure he was joking.

Pretty sure this Libtard isn't.

Step one:  read this.

Step two:  weep.

Posted by: Captain Comic at August 29, 2013 05:35 PM (OjmEj)

292 I don't think she's intelligent enough for parody.


Posted by: Adjoran at August 29, 2013 05:59 PM (473jB)

293 She's just another dumb twat who thinks that calling herself a feminist means she is SO smart, and you'd better stop calling her dumb!

Posted by: Quint&Jessel, Sea of Azof, Bly, UK at August 29, 2013 06:01 PM (7v5Ct)

294 Hey... if she's got nice BOOBs and kinda hot (and by hot I mean she's breathing), I'll listen to her... or at least pretend to until I get close enough to pinch a nipple

Posted by: Bobby (hands) Filner at August 29, 2013 06:58 PM (7YnaR)

295

Ace just won the fisking Super Bowl. Hot damn this was epic.

Posted by: sybilll at August 29, 2013 09:23 PM (q+AEB)

296 I didn't read all the comments, so apologies if someone's already observed that Benedikt must be a racist because she calls the Obamas bad people.

Posted by: misanthrope at August 29, 2013 10:55 PM (YNWNJ)

297 Slate: something that once sort of tried to pretend to be a "smart" alternative to real media.

Best. Line. Ever.  Should be a headline.

Describes the left perfectly.  I am so borrowing this (with attribution).

Posted by: Richard Saunders at August 30, 2013 05:03 AM (NO075)

298

I'm just seeing this "She links the one book in her post, and it was Pearl S. Buck's "The Good Earth".  "

 

I realize this thread is dead, but I hated that book in high school!!! White hot hatred. OF course that's the only book she ever read.

Posted by: Lea at August 30, 2013 05:24 AM (lIU4e)

299 Ace hits it -- yes it is troll post. And it is genius. Step 1. Troll post Step 2. Massive linkage driving click views Step 3. Profit

Posted by: SunSwordTiger at August 30, 2013 08:01 AM (cVtEO)

300 her husband must be a big deal to someone ... only reason she's employed ...

Posted by: JeffC at August 30, 2013 10:38 AM (hYYqD)

301

I've taught Junior Achievement at "underprivileged" schools for years. I had third graders one year who couldn't read or add. Some of the kids were clearly bright, and it was a real shame that their parents didn't care enough to teach them what the school wouldn't (the teacher sat in a rocking chair in the back of the room and gazed out the window the entire day). But a fair number of the kids I have every year, who are in second or third grade, are as dumb as a box of rocks.

Which leads to my next point: as my mother used to say, not everybody can be a chief. Somebody's got to be the Indian (and my grandmother's variation: the world needs ditchdiggers too. And my grandmother was a Latin teacher from 1915 to 1920.).

Why does everyone need AP Calculus? Can't some people be perfectly happy getting a technical education and going to work? Maybe the school should pick up where the parents nowadays won't - teaching how to balance a checkbook, read a warranty, and calculate area and volume.

Posted by: the other coyote at August 30, 2013 11:27 AM (yK44T)

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