Ace of Spades HQ

March 08, 2013

Sorry, We Had an Outbreak of Vulcanism
— Ace

Derp-derp dropped by to befoul some threads, as is his wont.

In case you missed this, derp is a seriously brain-derped derp.

(I just want derp to know his derpiness will be featured every time he gets a hold of the computers at the Homelessness Health Intervention waiting room.)

Posted by: Ace at 03:24 PM | Comments (108)
Post contains 63 words, total size 1 kb.

1 Zeroith!

Posted by: The Hobo Hooker Waitress Model Actress Who Never Was But Might Have Been Wears Prada at March 08, 2013 03:25 PM (jopHG)

2 Screw him.

Posted by: Gmac - Waiting for the revolution at March 08, 2013 03:26 PM (IanLz)

3 Little bitch

Posted by: The Jackhole at March 08, 2013 03:28 PM (nTgAI)

4 vocanoes=superego derp derp derp

Posted by: derp derp derp derp derp at March 08, 2013 03:28 PM (LCRYB)

5 Yeah! what'd he do and why do we care?

Posted by: Timin203 at March 08, 2013 03:29 PM (azmhu)

6 Rob Schneider was here? Squart!

Posted by: Al Roker at March 08, 2013 03:29 PM (F90jC)

7 The name greg sounds just like clog

Posted by: The Jackhole at March 08, 2013 03:29 PM (nTgAI)

8 ha, just saw the con of erg. marvelously done, ace

Posted by: chemjeff hates snow at March 08, 2013 03:29 PM (BBWjt)

9 We need some Friday night fun! Bring it!

Posted by: dogfish at March 08, 2013 03:30 PM (N2yhW)

10 Flush it! Flush it now!!

Posted by: Count de Monet at March 08, 2013 03:30 PM (BAS5M)

11 remember, you can't spell "utter fucking dumbass" without "erg"

Posted by: chemjeff hates snow at March 08, 2013 03:30 PM (BBWjt)

Just sent my first msg to a politican. I told Cruz I think he's doing great and I fully support him, and thanks for being at the filibuster.

I hope he keeps raising hell.

Posted by: Ook? at March 08, 2013 03:30 PM (OQpzc)

13 The left,protecting the world from violent cupcakes.

A Michigan elementary school is defending its decision to confiscate a third-graders batch of homemade cupcakes because the birthday treats were decorated with plastic green Army soldiers.

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Casey Fountain told Fox News that the principal of his sonÂ’s elementary school called the cupcakes Â“insensitiveÂ” Â— in light of the shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Connecticut.

Posted by: steevy at March 08, 2013 03:31 PM (9XBK2)

14

Exactly what point does he THINK he's making?

Certainly, he can't imagine that his spewings are either insulting to you or persuasive to us.

Posted by: imp at March 08, 2013 03:31 PM (UaxA0)

15 derp derp derp volcano=superego derp derp derrrrr-up derp

Posted by: derp derp derp derpity-doo at March 08, 2013 03:32 PM (LCRYB)

16 Uh I am either going back to the previous thread or super cooling some beer for the next thread..

Posted by: clemenza at March 08, 2013 03:33 PM (KmEEq)

17 derp derp derrrrr-up derp

Is that anything like dirka,dirka Mohammed jihad?

Posted by: Hello, it's me Donna let it burn really.really bummed at March 08, 2013 03:34 PM (9+ccr)

18 /Spock Fascinating.

Posted by: soothsayer at March 08, 2013 03:34 PM (hA+ft)

19 Ace, do you read every comment? I try to but cant' read every single one. I was working almost all day from home. But I did come to the blog and read about McCain and Graham. Please everyone go to their senate websites and comment on how they should unite with fellow republicans, and not to trash them because they are the new smart guys and they used up and useless, and jealous. Do the dems ever trash any single one of theirs publicly? Screw McCain!

Posted by: CarolT at March 08, 2013 03:35 PM (z4WKX)

20 Exactly what point does he THINK he's making?

He's being all smugly meta. Because he's better than us right-wing redneck sister-humpin' peons. Or something.

Posted by: chemjeff hates snow at March 08, 2013 03:35 PM (BBWjt)

21 derp-ku derp derp derp derp derp derp-pity derp-pity derp derp derp derp dep derp

Posted by: BumperDerperist at March 08, 2013 03:35 PM (9P+hO)

22 When ace gives him attention, Derpy ejects liquid from his core like a VOLCANO.

- or like a zit. Whichever.

Posted by: boulder toilet hobo at March 08, 2013 03:35 PM (QTHTd)

23 I'm back y'all!

Posted by: EC at March 08, 2013 03:36 PM (doBIb)

24 I am not going O/T till at least 50 posts this time. Have I talked to you about Herba Life?

Posted by: Billy Bob, the guy who drinks in SC at March 08, 2013 03:36 PM (wR+pz)

25 I made a volcano in the sixth grade and it is still fully functional in my attic

Posted by: Beto at March 08, 2013 03:36 PM (MhA4j)

26 Is it really possible that this fucking idiot doesn't know how stupid he is? I thought the genes making that possible died out about a hundred thousand years ago.

Posted by: BS Inc. at March 08, 2013 03:36 PM (fsWSH)

27 derp derp derp bitches

Posted by: Wicked Derpo at March 08, 2013 03:37 PM (9P+hO)

28 26 I made a volcano in the sixth grade and it is still fully functional in my attic Don't tell Hair Plugs Joe, he'll want to fire it up.

Posted by: Billy Bob, the guy who drinks in SC at March 08, 2013 03:37 PM (wR+pz)

29 Did he derped the previous thread?

Posted by: Sticky Wicket at March 08, 2013 03:38 PM (eyJh9)

30 My volcano blew up and killed 3 people. Ooops. They were teachers tho so it's not like I killed real people or anything.

Posted by: Tilikum the Killer Assault Whale at March 08, 2013 03:38 PM (1rB1x)

31 27 Scientists have proven conclusively that scientists jump to conclusions

Posted by: Beto at March 08, 2013 03:38 PM (MhA4j)

32 Any time Ace bitch slaps a troll, an angle gets its wings.

I was told there would be no geometry.

Posted by: fluffy at March 08, 2013 03:38 PM (z9HTb)

33

On a more positive note, Gregs who are cool:

Greg "Mission Impossible" Morris

And -- that might just be it.

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at March 08, 2013 03:39 PM (kdS6q)

34 I'm awesome in this movie! http://tinyurl.com/38cyzkt

Posted by: Rob Schneider at March 08, 2013 03:39 PM (i7B17)

35 dink? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YCApeXCE0W8

Posted by: alex® at March 08, 2013 03:39 PM (m9cpE)

36 Don't tell Hair Plugs Joe, he'll want to fire it up. Not until after I pre-soften the room with a few blasts from my trusty old bumbershoot. /fart

Posted by: Joey 'Boom Boom' Biden at March 08, 2013 03:39 PM (eyJh9)

37 EC, where ya been man?

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at March 08, 2013 03:39 PM (GEICT)

38 Derp

Posted by: Masterbatin' Derp at March 08, 2013 03:39 PM (9P+hO)

39 I'm worried people will think his behavior has something to do with Asperger's.

Leave us out of it.

Posted by: esch at March 08, 2013 03:39 PM (9XVgh)

40 WHAT IS HAPPENING

Posted by: Jones in CO at March 08, 2013 03:40 PM (8sCoq)

41 I sure wish someone could explain to me how Mt. Saint Helens relates to my Bridge to Total Freedom. If only there such a man, I would call him derp.

Posted by: L. Ron Hubbard at March 08, 2013 03:40 PM (Fz2C7)

42 This person has serious mental problems. He uses weird phrases that reveal a disturbed mind such as "daddy dick suckers." And he used to get off being extremely offensive to lauraw using the most vile misogynistic insults.

Posted by: soothsayer at March 08, 2013 03:40 PM (QVBzT)

43 @34 LOL! See I am not the only moron that can not type correcterly.

Posted by: Billy Bob, the guy who drinks in SC at March 08, 2013 03:40 PM (wR+pz)

44 ~ derp derp derp derp derp ~ ... Derp

Posted by: Hadji the Muslim Derp at March 08, 2013 03:40 PM (9P+hO)

45 The director of this film, like all of the other films, ridicules the knucklehead fantasies of the monad-hero-self-made-man. The director despises the right wing knucklehead.

Posted by: Derp's Assistant at March 08, 2013 03:41 PM (eHIJJ)

46 29 "I can disprove your hypothesis with 2 little words

Joe and Biden."

Allow me to respond with 2 little words of my own:

Tou fucking che

Posted by: BS Inc. at March 08, 2013 03:41 PM (fsWSH)

47 Have you ever had an Assburger?

Posted by: Jones in CO at March 08, 2013 03:41 PM (8sCoq)

48 Post the IPs.

I don't care if he switches them. I want to see them.

Posted by: weft cut-loop [/i] [/b] at March 08, 2013 03:41 PM (/T+P8)

49 Socking Hadji!?!?!? That's multiple Drone Strikes.

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at March 08, 2013 03:41 PM (GEICT)

50 heh
If you do the math, the final result of Obama's Bureau of Lies and Statistic numbers = nobody's working but the unemployment rate drops to zero.

Posted by: I got your derp right here. at March 08, 2013 03:42 PM (EZl54)

51 the volcano is a metaphor for societal discontent, and stuff

and erg sucks cock ( but only if you pay him first )

Posted by: the Jacobins ( miss us yet?? ) at March 08, 2013 03:42 PM (Dll6b)

52 Yay! It's Creepy Gay Stalker Friday!

Posted by: runninrebel at March 08, 2013 03:42 PM (sL+oi)

53 Time to bring this up? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nQB4nAjZIdE

Posted by: Professor Marius von Totenkopf (formerly Hoss Fuentes) at March 08, 2013 03:42 PM (aozUR)

54 and he used to get off being extremely offensive to lauraw using the most vile misogynistic insults. ------------------ which is weird, because lauraw is a guy, trapped in a woman's body. i keed.

Posted by: BumperStickerist at March 08, 2013 03:42 PM (9P+hO)

55 I had an assburger once. Had to go to the pharmacist for the pinkeye afterward

Posted by: boulder toilet hobo at March 08, 2013 03:42 PM (QTHTd)

56 49 Have you ever had an Assburger? Posted by: Jones in CO at March 08, 2013 07:41 PM (8sCoq) Yeah, once in Vail, but they called it a burnt Buffalo Burger.

Posted by: Billy Bob, the guy who drinks in SC at March 08, 2013 03:43 PM (wR+pz)

57 "And he used to get off being extremely offensive to lauraw using the most vile misogynistic insults.

Posted by: soothsayer at March 08, 2013 07:40 PM (QVBzT)"

Fucking figures. "Little dick liberal man" disease.

Posted by: BS Inc. at March 08, 2013 03:43 PM (fsWSH)

58 ::::39 EC, where ya been man? Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at March 08, 2013 07:39 PM (GEICT) At Parris Island for my stepson's graduation. It was awesome, and I'll have pics up on Monday, courtesy of CBD.

Posted by: EC at March 08, 2013 03:43 PM (doBIb)

59 derp-ku *guffaw*

Posted by: soothsayer at March 08, 2013 03:44 PM (vzLhi)

60 At Parris Island for my stepson's graduation. It was awesome, and I'll have pics up on Monday, courtesy of CBD. Posted by: EC at March 08, 2013 07:43 PM (doBIb) That's right! Congrats and thank you, your family and your stepson for his service!

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at March 08, 2013 03:44 PM (GEICT)

61 I had an assburger once. It left a bad taste in my mouth (rimshot).

Posted by: Tilikum the Killer Assault Whale at March 08, 2013 03:45 PM (1rB1x)

62 Correction: lauraw is a hirsute man...trapped in a woman's body

Posted by: soothsayer at March 08, 2013 03:45 PM (uaJ2E)

63 Disqus let's you edit your comments after you have posted them. I once had to edit a comment on my local paper four times and it still had an error in it. I didn't see that one for a day.

Posted by: Billy Bob, the guy who drinks in SC at March 08, 2013 03:46 PM (wR+pz)

64 And he used to get off being extremely offensive to lauraw using the most vile misogynistic insults. That's because he talks like a fag, and his shit's all retarded.

Posted by: Dr. Lexus at March 08, 2013 03:46 PM (eyJh9)

65 EC that is awesome, congrats to your stepson and to you for raising him right

Posted by: chemjeff hates snow at March 08, 2013 03:46 PM (BBWjt)

66 Correction: lauraw is a hirsute man...trapped in a woman's body

Posted by: soothsayer

***********

She's Italian? (I denounce myself)

Posted by: Tilikum the Killer Assault Whale at March 08, 2013 03:47 PM (1rB1x)

67 Dante's Peak had a volcano... and James Bond

Posted by: eggs benedict at March 08, 2013 03:47 PM (FpBe1)

68 Wonder if ace has thought of using Disqus. Only problem, no socks. NRO uses it.

Posted by: Billy Bob, the guy who drinks in SC at March 08, 2013 03:47 PM (wR+pz)

69 Look, you right-wing cretins. You just don't understand the subtle nuance that permeates the film's gravitas. It illustrates the majesty of the director's defenestration technique against the dissemblance of the archetypal character who is obviously a metaphor for the rotund alacrity which comprises the essential pathos of the film. And since your simple brains cannot process the utter potency of this film, and the director clearly hates right-wingers nonetheless, you should not even bother watching this film.

Posted by: Derpity Derp at March 08, 2013 03:49 PM (BBWjt)

70 Those awesome tits on Mariah Carey?

Just pointing those out.

FYI

I'm totally objective on those awesome tits.

Posted by: runninrebel at March 08, 2013 03:50 PM (sL+oi)

71 "71 Wonder if ace has thought of using Disqus. Only problem, no socks. NRO uses it.

Posted by: Billy Bob, the guy who drinks in SC at March 08, 2013 07:47 PM (wR+pz)"

As much as the commenting system here sucks, it's also awesome in its ability to allow socks, many of which are hilarious as hell.

Posted by: BS Inc. at March 08, 2013 03:50 PM (fsWSH)

72 Eh. Wrong thread mostly.

Posted by: runninrebel at March 08, 2013 03:51 PM (sL+oi)

73 Look, you right-wing cretins

derp sock fail.

Posted by: boulder toilet knucklehead at March 08, 2013 03:51 PM (QTHTd)

74
Wonder if ace has thought of using Disqus. Only problem, no socks. NRO uses it.
Posted by: Billy Bob

Have you taken a look at the NRO comments lately? It's virtually solid left/liber trolls. Disqus ain't doing squat.

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at March 08, 2013 03:52 PM (kdS6q)

75 I would not like Disqus. For some reason it does not work well with Ubuntu and Firefox (which is what I am using now). Don't know why.

Posted by: chemjeff hates snow at March 08, 2013 03:52 PM (BBWjt)

76 Thanks BCochran and chemjeff!

Posted by: EC at March 08, 2013 03:53 PM (doBIb)

77 BTH oh come on, that was funny

Posted by: chemjeff hates snow at March 08, 2013 03:53 PM (BBWjt)

78 At Parris Island for my stepson's graduation. It was awesome, and I'll have pics up on Monday, courtesy of CBD. Grats EC! I was down there a few months ago to watch my son's graduation. Proudest moment of my life.

Posted by: Sticky Wicket at March 08, 2013 03:53 PM (eyJh9)

79 Yellowstone is a volcano - a super one

Posted by: eggs benedict at March 08, 2013 03:54 PM (FpBe1)

80 :::Grats EC! I was down there a few months ago to watch my son's graduation. Proudest moment of my life. The finest group of young men and women I've seen.

Posted by: EC at March 08, 2013 03:54 PM (doBIb)

81 Have you taken a look at the NRO comments lately? It's virtually solid left/liber trolls.

That's not Disqus's fault. That's NRO's fault. Like the moderates in the AssemblÃ©e nationale, their enemies are to their right.

Posted by: boulder toilet knucklehead at March 08, 2013 03:55 PM (QTHTd)

82 >>>Look, you right-wing cretins. You just don't understand the subtle nuance that permeates the film's gravitas. It illustrates the majesty of the director's defenestration technique against the dissemblance of the archetypal character who is obviously a metaphor for the rotund alacrity which comprises the essential pathos of the film. And since your simple brains cannot process the utter potency of this film, and the director clearly hates right-wingers nonetheless, you should not even bother watching this film.<<<

Twenty seconds of irresistible breasts would square away the whole thing.

Posted by: Fritz at March 08, 2013 03:56 PM (WM+rJ)

83 Have you taken a look at the NRO comments lately? It's virtually solid left/liber trolls. Disqus ain't doing squat. Coyote, until recently used to moderate his blog...but turned it over to Disqust....and now it's no longer worth commenting...or even reading the comments.

Posted by: Sticky Wicket at March 08, 2013 03:57 PM (eyJh9)

84 Volcanoes are raping mother Earth. come on it's obvious you guys.

Posted by: Why not elect Ashleys Nip at March 08, 2013 03:58 PM (A0wk8)

85 Disqus ain't doing squat.

Keeps me out. (HINT.) Nothing I own works with it.

It's probably a net good that NRO is overrun with Huffers. The right-idiots that used to fill the place were making me a communist.

No, two communists. I nearly asexually reproduced out of spite.

Posted by: oblig. at March 08, 2013 03:59 PM (cePv8)

86 Outstanding, Ace! Derp is about as annoying as one of those dry skin fingertip fissures we Arctic circle dwellers in Chicagoland get in the winter, and as easy to remedy, but DAMN that boy's dumb. I've had smarter parrots.

Next let's convince him that his pud-pulling in the comments section here during work hours will convince his employer what a superior intellect he is, and therefore worthy of advancement up the customer-service food chain; basically we get Ergie to rat himself out to his boss. Hilarious comedy ensues!

Posted by: Sort-of-Mad Max at March 08, 2013 03:59 PM (DLu2s)

87 Ergie = Long-winded Threadsnapper

Posted by: Jones in CO at March 08, 2013 04:01 PM (8sCoq)

88 Damn I have a buzz and George Thorogood is blastin g out of the speakers I wanna go outside and fight people

Posted by: Jones in CO at March 08, 2013 04:03 PM (8sCoq)

89
Poor Erg isn't smart enough to be called stupid.

Bless his heart.

Posted by: irongrampa at March 08, 2013 04:05 PM (SAMxH)

90 I nearly asexually reproduced out of spite.

Nice.

Posted by: HeatherRadish™, Crankypants Extraordinaire at March 08, 2013 04:05 PM (hO8IJ)

91 he would give squid a bad name.

Posted by: Ashleys Nips at March 08, 2013 04:06 PM (A0wk8)

92 Erg got the Ned Beatty sodomized with a giant volcano treatment and the people all laughed.

Posted by: Wonkish Rogue at March 08, 2013 04:46 PM (JRU+g)

93 Hey ace -- so I told my husband you're the movie guy, and have seen obscure stuff, yadda yadda So we are querying whether you've seen: 1. Motorama 2. The American Astronaut (hey boy! hey boy!) and if you had reaction to those They are a bit "off"... but not as off as erg. or Zardoz DEAR GOD MY EYES

Posted by: meep at March 08, 2013 04:47 PM (Gb7fb)

94 also derp

Posted by: meep at March 08, 2013 04:48 PM (Gb7fb)

95 Volcano make Iceland larger, good volcano, volcano good, iceland bigger, good. Now bingo!

Posted by: angel with a sword at March 08, 2013 06:07 PM (LCb5K)

96 Anybody remember that "Mike" asswipe? The skidmark on the underwear of life who trolled here using several different names, who kept insisting that he "won" because the 'rons would still be mocking him hours after he ran away in tears? Erg makes him look well-adjusted.

Posted by: cool arrow at March 08, 2013 06:29 PM (WMsq+)

Posted by: Vic at March 09, 2013 02:29 AM (53z96)

98 "volcano = superego"

Not without a colossal ape in the engine room.

Posted by: Pakimon at March 09, 2013 03:58 AM (ZFTpm)

99 ...and you keep giving him headline billing. The old saying "It doesn't matter what they say about me, as long as they spell my name right." applies here. This is the stupidest thing Ace has done.

Posted by: sdavis at March 09, 2013 04:55 AM (njVMI)

100 Derpa-derpa, muhammad jihad.

Posted by: Cerebral Paul Z. at March 09, 2013 07:12 AM (tqHgG)

101 Ultimately, I have the satisfaction enjoying the continuous defeat of our "conservatism." You always lose. You're always effete. All blog, no action. You compensate your continuous failure by virtual bravado--a hawk with no hunt in him. I'm pretty sure your Mom fucked your head up with all of this right-wing horseshit. What a suburban oedipal nightmare. "Jonah Goldberg told me..." Yeah, no doubt. You should do a Mommy swap and suckle Lucianne's acid tit for a while.

Posted by: andrew breitbart at March 09, 2013 07:20 AM (CrtlS)

102 Did I just hear another "derp"?

Posted by: Pyrocles at March 09, 2013 07:32 AM (f7Ll6)

103 All of the social issues important to conservatives are losers. Cutting "entitlements" is a loser because stupid old people vote Republican. Amnesty is inevitable because Republicans need to make nice with numerous Latinos. The only thing "conserved" is the military welfare tit used to mollify low-budget Southerners. And of course, a steady erosion of constitutional rights by the political class, and endless backstopping of to-big-to-fail capitalism and capitalists. You're a loser.

Posted by: andrew breitbart at March 09, 2013 08:42 AM (CrtlS)

104 And now you suck Rand Paul's clit. Oh my, ace. You got no principles, bubba.

Posted by: andrew breitbart at March 09, 2013 08:44 AM (CrtlS)

105 A big terrorist attack murdering hundreds of Americans. That's what you need, Ace. 9/11 was the happiest day of your life.

Posted by: andrew breitbart at March 09, 2013 08:48 AM (CrtlS)

106 Awwwww, look at little ergie petulantly slamming his little fists against the keyboard and shouting WINNING WINNING WINNING on a dead thread. It'd almost be cute if it weren't so pathetic.

Posted by: cool arrow at March 09, 2013 09:34 AM (WMsq+)

107

Erg (henceforth "Derp") is surprisingly wed to classical Freudian analysis (or rather, the popular understanding of such) for someone so inclined to self-identify as a member of the revolutionary vanguard. This fixation on Oedipal subject-matter, revelatory as it may be of Derp's own inner struggles (and they look to be pretty considerable), is just so archaic, so dated, so.....trite. Derp -if I may call you Derp, and I'm going to in any event - why not vary up your pitches just a bit? If you're going to insist on going Old School with your pseudo-psychologizing, why not throw in a little Adler? Maybe the odd curveball from Jung when he was in his full-blown mystical phase - say post-Red Book. Better yet, for meta irony, throw some Bettelheim in there - then you'd have a disturbed individual (you, but we both knew that already) citing a disturbed psychoanalyst in an attempt to indict a blogger for the sin of holding socio-political views different from your own. That would be Derpariffic!

Or you could just stick to your true forte - film analysis. To start with, there's this little number called Under the Volcano......

Posted by: A. Pendragon at March 09, 2013 12:14 PM (wJliR)

108 Derp derp derpie derp! Or, as Boromir said in Harry Potter: The Last Crusade, What new derpilery is this?

Posted by: I R A Darth Aggie ® at March 09, 2013 01:39 PM (1hM1d)

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