June 20, 2013

Stolen Valor: Cap'n Crunch
— Ace

A commenter was tired of the amnesty posts and suggested one about The Monster Cap'n Crunch.

This man (I use the term in a biological sense only) claims to be a captain -- or should I say, "Cap'n." yet:

Three stripes. Three stripes, not four.

The Navy has further exposed him:

" 'You are correct that Cap'n Crunch appears to be wearing the rank of a U.S. Navy commander,' Lt. Cmdr. Sarah Flaherty, a U.S. Navy spokeswoman, tells Foreign Policy. 'Oddly, our personnel records do not show a "Cap'n Crunch" who currently serves or has served in the Navy.' "

Here is how The Liar attempts to defend himself, on Twitter:

"So much fuss about my name. O, be some other name. What's in a name? That which we call Cap'n Crunch, by any other name would taste as sweet"

I passed on this story because I wasn't sure of the details, and I did not want to malign a service-member unduly.

I also passed on it because I thought that "Captain" is both a rank and a position. By which I mean, if you're the skipper of a boat, you're addressed as "captain" by your crew even if your actual rank is commander (or lower-- even a seaman can be a captain, I think, if pushed into that position by the deaths of ranking officers).

So it would not matter (if I'm right about this) that he's only a Commander; if he skippers his own boat, then he's also a Captain, at least on that boat.

Because "Captain" is an important position in addition to being a rank, the Navy has made up a different title, "Commodore," for those persons on board a ship who may have the rank of Captain but who are not actually captains of the ship they're on. It's important to know who the actual captain is, so if there's another captain aboard (or, I think, a technically higher-ranking officer like an admiral who is not, despite his higher rank, actually the captain of the ship), he gets called Commodore and not captain.

That's what I thought, anyway. So perhaps we're all rushing to judgment on this Cap'n Crunch affair. I don't know why he's not listed in the Navy's records but it's possible "Crunch" is a nickname, maybe given to him to emphasize his diligent work-habits and razor-cut abs, or perhaps given derogatorily by his men due to his erratic, obsessive behavior when a couple of messboys stole some Crunchberries from the ship's stocks.

Pushback: I see various definitions of "Commodore" in the comments (which might actually all be the same definition). I think I'm wrong (even though I got my definition from two unimpeachable sources -- Star Trek and Starship Troopers).

Wikipedia says...

Traditionally, "commodore" is the title for any officer assigned to command more than one ship at a time, even temporarily, much as "captain" is the traditional title for the commanding officer of a single ship even if the officer's official title in the service is a lower rank. As an official rank, a commodore typically commands a flotilla or squadron of ships as part of a larger task force or naval fleet commanded by an admiral.

It is often regarded as a one-star rank with a NATO code of OF-6 (which is known in the U.S. as "rear admiral (lower half)"), but whether it is regarded as a flag rank varies between countries.[1]

I can't find any citation to back up my belief that "commodore" serves as a rank of convenience to avoid a Two Captains on One Ship problem. Maybe Heinlein made that up, or maybe I'm just misremembering.

Posted by: Ace at 09:10 AM | Comments (420)
Post contains 618 words, total size 4 kb.

1 Next you'll be telling me Count Chocula doesn't really drink cocoa.

Posted by: George Orwell what knows Lois Lerner lies at June 20, 2013 09:11 AM (xw77v)

2 It's a Swiss Navy uniform. Case closed. Back to amnesty.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at June 20, 2013 09:11 AM (+98Gb)

3 Cap'N Crunch is dead to me.

Posted by: Flatbush Joe at June 20, 2013 09:11 AM (ZPrif)

4 You mean Trix really aren't for kids???

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at June 20, 2013 09:12 AM (+98Gb)

5 Can't I just eat my Cap'n Crunch in peace?

Posted by: Cap'n Barry at June 20, 2013 09:12 AM (f9c2L)

6 What does his shipmate Commodore Sixtyfour have to say about this development?

Posted by: Brandon In Baton Rouge at June 20, 2013 09:12 AM (a3iAA)

7 Boo Barry

Posted by: mrp at June 20, 2013 09:13 AM (HjPtV)

8 Count Chocula is actually an Earl?

Posted by: Vote Lord Humungus 2016 at June 20, 2013 09:14 AM (HEa5q)

9
I served on swift boats with Cap'n Crunch during the Vietnam War, and he was witness to my second wounding.

Posted by: John Kerry, Secretary of State and Stuff at June 20, 2013 09:14 AM (1lQzY)

10 I'm more impressed by Cap'n Crunch than "Captain Ed."

Posted by: MrScribbler at June 20, 2013 09:14 AM (lNAFm)

11 If that bald fucktard Rubio doesn't denounce Cap'N Crunch by noon tomorrow on the Senate floor, I will re-register as a Democrat, burn all my Heritage and AEI swag, and unfollow Jonah Goldberg on Twitter. I am super-fucking-cereal about this!!!

Posted by: Flatbush Joe at June 20, 2013 09:14 AM (ZPrif)

12 Major Labia and Private Parts.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at June 20, 2013 09:14 AM (+98Gb)

13

Relax. The senior ranking officer on board ship is called "Captain," regardless of rank.

Posted by: Arms Merchant at June 20, 2013 09:14 AM (5RUlF)

14 Actually that's all wrong. The man in charge of a boat is called "Skipper," which is an alternate name for Captain. A Commander in charge of a boat would not be called "Captain." Also, a "Commodore" is a one-star admiral, whose official title is Rear Admiral, Lower Half. And I'm a former Marine. How sad is it that I know these things?

Posted by: JoeShmoe99 at June 20, 2013 09:15 AM (xamKk)

15 The next thing you'll tell me is that Hugh Hefner has no right to wear that skipper's cap.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at June 20, 2013 09:15 AM (8ZskC)

16 Huh. Content, with no content. It's a balanced approach.

Posted by: Tobacco Road at June 20, 2013 09:15 AM (4Mv1T)

17 "Crunchatize me Cap'N!" Appalling.

Posted by: eleven at June 20, 2013 09:15 AM (KXm42)

18 7 Boo Barry Posted by: mrp at June 20, 2013 01:13 PM (HjPtV) Heh. ISWYDT.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at June 20, 2013 09:15 AM (+98Gb)

19 Captain Crunch is gay and his shit is all retarded.

Posted by: maddogg at June 20, 2013 09:15 AM (OlN4e)

20 Because "Captain" is an important position in addition to being a rank, the Navy has made up a different title, "Commodore," for those persons on board a ship who may have the rank of Captain but who are not actually captains of the ship they're on.

Lionel Richie never served, either.

Posted by: HeatherRadish™ needs a beer at June 20, 2013 09:15 AM (ZKzrr)

21 Or I should say, commanding a ship.

Posted by: Arms Merchant at June 20, 2013 09:15 AM (5RUlF)

22 1 Next you'll be telling me Count Chocula doesn't really drink cocoa. Nope. But he is just a Baron.

Posted by: AmishDude at June 20, 2013 09:15 AM (T0NGe)

23 16 Huh. Content, with no content. It's a balanced approach. Posted by: Tobacco Road at June 20, 2013 01:15 PM (4Mv1T) Like a Cheerio. Half of what you eat is a hole (whole?).

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at June 20, 2013 09:16 AM (+98Gb)

24 [waits impatiently for someone to criticize Ace for not being 100% angry, so Ace can roll out the HotAir button crack]

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at June 20, 2013 09:16 AM (WW8xK)

25 You're the worst pirate I've ever heard of. Ah, but you have heard of me!

Posted by: I R A Darth Aggie ® at June 20, 2013 09:16 AM (1hM1d)

26 I've never seen him on a boat.  Maybe he's one of those weirdos who just likes to dress up in a uniform for the hell of it.

Posted by: kathysaysso at June 20, 2013 09:16 AM (6H6o8)

27
I fucked the Cap'n on the fantail of the SS McCain!

Posted by: Sandra Fluke at June 20, 2013 09:16 AM (1lQzY)

28 All right! Who did it? Whooooooo did it?

You are going to stand sweating at those battle stations until someone confesses! It's an insult to the honor of this ship! The symbol of our cargo record has been destroyed and I'm going to find out who did it if it takes all night!

Posted by: Cap'n Crunch at June 20, 2013 09:17 AM (1Rgee)

29 Seriously, though, I love Cap'N Crunch but I hate the way it acts like a cheese grater on the roof of my mouth. As a kid I'd eat bowl after bowl until bits of mouth meat were hanging down.

Posted by: Flatbush Joe at June 20, 2013 09:17 AM (ZPrif)

30 How many boxes of cereal have you been on, ace?

Posted by: eleven at June 20, 2013 09:17 AM (KXm42)

31 He skippers his own fucking boat he's not in the military for Chrissakes. As the skipper of his own fucking boat he is the fucking captain. Meanwhile our Republic is dying, if anyone cares.

Posted by: GuyWhoDoesntGiveAFuck at June 20, 2013 09:17 AM (7ObY1)

32 King Vitamin is a bastard usurper. And Quisp is gay. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Posted by: AmishDude at June 20, 2013 09:17 AM (T0NGe)

33 28 All right! Who did it? Whooooooo did it? You are going to stand sweating at those battle stations until someone confesses! It's an insult to the honor of this ship! The symbol of our cargo record has been destroyed and I'm going to find out who did it if it takes all night! Posted by: Cap'n Crunch at June 20, 2013 01:17 PM (1Rgee) I'm gonna Pulverize you!

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at June 20, 2013 09:17 AM (+98Gb)

34 Cap'n Crunch is gone. Murdered by a cereal killer.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at June 20, 2013 09:18 AM (WW8xK)

35 Ace, you're broadly correct - the Commanding Officer of a Navy ship retains the title of "Captain" even if he is not of that paygrade. It's a positional title. And "Commodore" used to be the rank title of one-star Navy flag officers (now called "Rear Admiral Lower Half"), but is now the positional title of a non-flag rank officer in charge of a group of ships, like a Destroyer Squadron.

Posted by: Trelawney Hope at June 20, 2013 09:18 AM (HDxJh)

36 Cereals, You Guys.

Posted by: Brother Cavil, CEO, Hodorburton at June 20, 2013 09:18 AM (zUi7I)

37 Maybe his first name is Cap'n ... something his parents saddled him with like Gouverneur Morris or Learned Hand.

Posted by: Blacksheep at June 20, 2013 09:18 AM (8/DeP)

38 24 [waits impatiently for someone to criticize Ace for not being 100% angry, so Ace can roll out the HotAir button crack]

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at June 20, 2013 01:16 PM (WW8xK)

 

What's funny is that Billy Bob is the one that brought it up and he was one that last had the HotAir button crack directed at him.

Posted by: buzzion at June 20, 2013 09:18 AM (LI48c)

39 I'm more impressed by Cap'n Crunch than "Captain Ed." Posted by: MrScribbler at June 20, 2013 01:14 PM (lNAFm) -------------------- If Ed Morrissey were an ice cream flavor, he'd be Cookies N' Vagina.

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at June 20, 2013 09:18 AM (sefnN)

40 29 Seriously, though, I love Cap'N Crunch but I hate the way it acts like a cheese grater on the roof of my mouth. As a kid I'd eat bowl after bowl until bits of mouth meat were hanging down. Posted by: Flatbush Joe at June 20, 2013 01:17 PM (ZPrif) Cruel food.

Posted by: eleven at June 20, 2013 09:18 AM (KXm42)

41 All this stuff goin' down on immigration, IRS, the Middle East, et al and Ace decides that his opening at-bat is a drag bunt.

Posted by: John P. Squibob at June 20, 2013 09:18 AM (kqqGm)

42 Howard Kurtz Joining Fox News

“I’m excited to be bringing my independent brand of media criticism to Fox News. I want to thank CNN for giving me such a prime opportunity over the years and was tempted to continue, but the chance to create a revamped program and establish a strong online presence was too good to pass up. I hope to add a new dimension to Fox’s coverage and have some fun while diving into the passionate debates about the press and politics.”

Posted by: Walter Cronkite at June 20, 2013 09:18 AM (e8kgV)

43 I have Lovey call me "Captain" when I'm taking a bubble bath.

Posted by: John "Captain" Kerry at June 20, 2013 09:19 AM (T0NGe)

44 Posted by: Flatbush Joe at June 20, 2013 01:17 PM (ZPrif)

But it was worth it!

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at June 20, 2013 09:19 AM (WW8xK)

45 Look at ST: TOS. Captain is a Lt. Commander. Deliberate choice when they designed the costumes.

But as far as the old' Cruncher---the Captain is a Captain. His two epaulets correspond to a Post-Captain in both the RN and USN for the type of cocked-hat uniform he is wearing, and thus he is good.

Posted by: Mr. Happy-Ounce of Prevention, Pound of Cure at June 20, 2013 09:19 AM (Hfjmb)

46 28 All right! Who did it? Whooooooo did it? You are going to stand sweating at those battle stations until someone confesses! It's an insult to the honor of this ship! The symbol of our cargo record has been destroyed and I'm going to find out who did it if it takes all night! Posted by: Cap'n Crunch at June 20, 2013 01:17 PM (1Rgee) I love that movie.

Posted by: Trelawney Hope at June 20, 2013 09:19 AM (HDxJh)

47

"A Commander in charge of a boat would not be called 'Captain.'"

 

I don't think that's right. Aren't Commanders (O-5) typically in command submarines in the Navy? Yet on board their boats, they're called "Captain."

Posted by: Arms Merchant at June 20, 2013 09:19 AM (5RUlF)

48 Slander! Lies! Captain Crunch is a hero! Even if he's a commander, he's still the captain of crunch. Get it? He's taken on the eponymous name of his vessel? The USS Crunch. Duh. His real name Commander Lionel Ashley Brockenberg Van Hickenstein Loopenmeyer III, esq.

Posted by: joeindc44 didn't write this either at June 20, 2013 09:19 AM (QxSug)

49 Cap'n Crunch is gone. Murdered by a cereal killer. Rolled in the French Quarter while on shore leave by a transvestite named Fruity Pebbles. Tragic really, I heard he was a fair commander.

Posted by: Blacksheep at June 20, 2013 09:19 AM (8/DeP)

50 IÂ’m excited to be bringing my independent brand of media criticism to Fox News. Pfft. Howard Kurtz isn't a media critic. He's a media apologist. He never criticizes the media.

Posted by: AmishDude at June 20, 2013 09:19 AM (T0NGe)

51 The Trix rabbit is actually a hare. The keebler elves are really munchkins, and the cake is a lie.

Posted by: taylork at June 20, 2013 09:19 AM (ppNDn)

52 The novel "Cryptonomicon" has a chapter on the right way to eat Captain Crunch.

Posted by: Comrade Arthur at June 20, 2013 09:19 AM (5YUSx)

53
I'd eat the Cap'n as a snack!

Posted by: Tony the Tiger at June 20, 2013 09:19 AM (1lQzY)

54 Smart. Military. Blog.

Posted by: red sweater at June 20, 2013 09:20 AM (oATMN)

55 Rumor has it that the Captain from the Captain and Tenille had no naval commission at all.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at June 20, 2013 09:20 AM (8ZskC)

56 40 If Ed Morrissey were an ice cream flavor, he'd be Cookies N' Vagina. Posted by: Empire of Jeff at June 20, 2013 01:18 PM (sefnN) LOL!!! Cookie Doughboy, really.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at June 20, 2013 09:20 AM (+98Gb)

57 So Captain Cruch is as much   a fraud as the lawn jockey in the white house.

Posted by: Vashta Nerada at June 20, 2013 09:20 AM (UhTsC)

58 I'm sure the Cap'n has been on many, if not all, ships, cruisers, carriers, and submarines.

Posted by: waldo at June 20, 2013 09:20 AM (RZwdH)

59 I think you're right pass on this.

Also, let's all refuse to comply with the IRS.

Someone else go first so we can join.

Posted by: Some SCOAMFy purity test at June 20, 2013 09:20 AM (9sjmH)

60 The only question that really matters these days is whether the skipper is an L, B, G, T or Q

Posted by: Jinx the Cat at June 20, 2013 09:21 AM (l3vZN)

61

From Wikipedia: "Post-Captain"


After 1795, when they were first introduced on Royal Navy uniforms, the number and position of epaulettes distinguished between commanders and post-captains of various seniorities. A commander wore a single epaulette on the left shoulder. A post-captain with less than three years seniority wore a single epaulette on the right shoulder, and a post-captain with three or more years seniority wore an epaulette on each shoulder. (National Maritime Museum Uniform Collection, see below.) In the O'Brian series, Aubrey "wets the swab" -- that is, he celebrates his promotion to commander and the acquisition of his "swab" or epaulette with the consumption of copious amounts of alcohol.

Note that the term was descriptive only: no-one was ever styled "Post-Captain John Smith".

Posted by: Mr. Happy-Ounce of Prevention, Pound of Cure at June 20, 2013 09:21 AM (Hfjmb)

62 56 Rumor has it that the Captain from the Captain and Tenille had no naval commission at all. However, Tenille was a Navy Seal.

Posted by: Jesse Ventura at June 20, 2013 09:21 AM (T0NGe)

63 Thank you Ace. I was waiting for someone to address this outrage!!! Bastard people!!!

Posted by: Guido "who can see new citizens streaming across the border from his porch" at June 20, 2013 09:21 AM (8I9hB)

64 And Judge Reinhold? Never graduated from law school.

Posted by: AmishDude at June 20, 2013 09:21 AM (T0NGe)

65
Cap'n Crunch always creeped me out.
He wears his eyebrow's on his frikken hat.

Posted by: RayJ at June 20, 2013 09:22 AM (pI/IV)

66 Next you're going to tell me that Tony is actually a Liger.

Posted by: alexthechick - Bring the SMOD at June 20, 2013 09:22 AM (VtjlW)

67 Captain Kangaroo, also not a real captain. But he was a marine.

Posted by: JackStraw at June 20, 2013 09:22 AM (g1DWB)

68 If you're the top dog on a boat/ship, you're it's captain.  Side story.  When I was in the Mass. National Guard during law school (126th Signal BN, Quinzy, MA), as a 2nd looey (0-1) my company commander, an Army captain (0-3), laughingly told me that when he flew space-available (free flights on military planes if there's room and by rank), he always tried to do it with the Navy.  Why?  "Hello, this is Captain X...."  Navy captains are grade 0-6.  Now, he never told anyone he was Navy and never denied being Army, and he was legitimately "Captain X", but, yeah, funny.

Posted by: SFGoth at June 20, 2013 09:22 AM (dZ756)

69 Ace, I am glad you brought this very important issue to our attention. Thank you for shedding light on something so many are unaware of as they munch on their tasty cereal.

Posted by: chique d'afrique (the artist formerly known as african chick) at June 20, 2013 09:22 AM (r+7wo)

70 Who has greater rank? The Cap'n on The Crunch? Or, the Skipper on Gilligan's Island?

Posted by: waldo at June 20, 2013 09:22 AM (RZwdH)

71 So long as the Cap'n doesn't try any funny business on anyone else's ships, I'm content to let him be the commander of his own cereal bowl. It's quite possible that three bars is a captain's rank in the Cereal Bowl Navy, and we should make allowances for that. As regards the rank of Commodore falling on captains etc. not specifically named on that ship, surely an Admiral would be addressed simply as Admiral (whether rear, vice or full)? Or does that only apply on his own flagship? Am confused.

Posted by: perturbed at June 20, 2013 09:22 AM (u6Ueb)

72 They said Cap'n, I said what.

Posted by: Cap'n at June 20, 2013 09:23 AM (wsGWu)

73 There was no kids cereal that did more physical damage to my mouth than Cap'N Crunch. It's the crystal meth of sugared cereals. Little kids with bleeding mouths and tongues trying to cram in that 5th bowl, using the 2% milk to soothe the oozing sores left by the tasty, razor-sharp Captain and his Crunch.

Posted by: Flatbush Joe at June 20, 2013 09:23 AM (ZPrif)

74 In case anyone needed to be reminded of this old chestnut, grape nuts are neither grapes nor nuts.

Posted by: taylork at June 20, 2013 09:23 AM (ppNDn)

75 Ace, I must say that your attention to detail is admiralble.

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at June 20, 2013 09:23 AM (ND7TC)

76 If Ed Morrissey were an ice cream flavor, he'd be Cookies N' Vagina. >>I believe you mean pralines and dick.

Posted by: taylork at June 20, 2013 09:23 AM (ppNDn)

77 Also, a "Commodore" is a one-star admiral, whose official title is Rear Admiral, Lower Half. Ahem. No. No, that's just a real softball there. No challenge.

Posted by: George Orwell what knows Lois Lerner lies at June 20, 2013 09:23 AM (xw77v)

78 Did you guys hear that Snap, Crackle and Pop use Rice Krispies as a front for their mob activities? Very chilling.

Posted by: chique d'afrique (the artist formerly known as african chick) at June 20, 2013 09:23 AM (r+7wo)

79 So when is Ace going to launch the Valu-Rite brand of cereals?

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at June 20, 2013 09:23 AM (FRe+O)

80 I think you can make Fred Chicken with CapN Crunch as breading, but not sure.

Posted by: Baldy at June 20, 2013 09:24 AM (tyDFN)

81
The Cap'n has a big one, and I rode it hard and put him away wet!

Posted by: Meggie McCain at June 20, 2013 09:24 AM (1lQzY)

82 commodore is a captain or below who happens to be in charge of a squadron or fleet of ships.

Posted by: joeindc44 didn't write this either at June 20, 2013 09:24 AM (QxSug)

83 Never trust a man who produces died goobers and claims they're berries named after himself.

Posted by: DaveA at June 20, 2013 09:24 AM (DL2i+)

84 Me thinks that Fox is looking to create cred' by hiring some Lefty's.

First Chris Wallace, then Juan Williams, now Howie Kurtz.


Posted by: John P. Squibob at June 20, 2013 09:24 AM (kqqGm)

85 This is your child on Cap'n Crunch
http://www.ufunk.net/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/postino-I-love-it-5.jpg

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at June 20, 2013 09:24 AM (FRe+O)

86 The imposter needs a swift kick in the crunch berries..

Posted by: Dash Ripp-Rock at June 20, 2013 09:24 AM (GQ72I)

87 I may not be a real captain but I fuck like one on Star Trek.

Posted by: William Shatner at June 20, 2013 09:24 AM (xw77v)

88 And if you will excuse me, now I am about to embark on some navel maneuvers.

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at June 20, 2013 09:25 AM (ND7TC)

89 And Swat was never actually a sultanate. 
Don't know who Babe Ruth thought he was fooling.

Posted by: HeatherRadish™ needs a beer at June 20, 2013 09:25 AM (ZKzrr)

90

If he has crunchberries then he's the shit.

 

 

Posted by: Toucan Koo-Koo for Cocoa Puffs at June 20, 2013 09:25 AM (G+Wff)

91 Cruel food. Heh. Did you sell your shinbones to buy your wife cuticle frames for Christmas?

Posted by: FRONT TOWARD LEFT at June 20, 2013 09:25 AM (V3kRK)

92
Come on serfs, don't you know we are all world citizens now, and in the World Navy, 3 stripes is proper.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at June 20, 2013 09:25 AM (1wTQt)

93 I thought those were denoted years of service, not rank.

Posted by: EC at June 20, 2013 09:25 AM (GQ8sn)

94 Who else thought Mr. Moose had a cross gender attractiveness?

Posted by: waldo at June 20, 2013 09:25 AM (RZwdH)

95 Shredded Wheat fans here.  It keeps us regular, and, of course, we're all about the shredding.

Posted by: Barry's White House Gang at June 20, 2013 09:25 AM (HjPtV)

96 I think you can make Fred Chicken with CapN Crunch as breading, but not sure. >>>yeah, but it sounds terrible. Now as a breading for french toast, you got something special.

Posted by: taylork at June 20, 2013 09:26 AM (ppNDn)

97 You mean those Lucky Charms aren't really lucky? I'll bet the leprechaun is really a lawn jockey.

Posted by: George Orwell in his cups at June 20, 2013 09:26 AM (xw77v)

98 The U.S-Hong Kong treaty has an unusual exception in that Hong Kong authorities can refuse the extradition of a suspect “if they believe it should be denied from a defense or foreign policy perspective," international extradition lawyer Douglas McNabb told the Post.

“The dirty little secret about extradition law is it’s really about 90 percent politics and only 10 percent law,” Vladeck said.

The 1997 treaty also states that a suspect will not be surrendered to face criminal prosecution for an offense of an activist or “political character,” a term that lacks a clear legal interpretation in Hong Kong.

Posted by: Henry Kissinger at June 20, 2013 09:27 AM (e8kgV)

99 42--

So if I just put up one more post on amnesty instead of this one we'd have this problem licked, huh?

It is sad to see men who consider themselves manful behave like panicking, shrieking women,  chickens running around with their heads cut off. 

What is it, in all seriousness, that you think would be gained by having NOT done this post at all? 

You dress up your criticisms in the guise as being About the Republic but they're really about you.

Posted by: ace at June 20, 2013 09:27 AM (LCRYB)

100 Loved Cap'n Crunch as a kid! Bet Tiger preferred Popeye.

Posted by: Sergio Garcia at June 20, 2013 09:27 AM (cKyRT)

101 Shit, next you're going to tell us that Count Chokula isn't a real count.

Posted by: waldo at June 20, 2013 09:27 AM (RZwdH)

102 Uuuhhh and Trix is NOT for kids. In fact she was over with Muffy, Bubbles and Boom Boom when the wife was out of town.

Posted by: Guido "who can see new citizens streaming across the border from his porch" at June 20, 2013 09:27 AM (8I9hB)

103 So, is Mr. Clean really a mister? I mean, he's got a shaved head, he's really cut, and he wears an earring.

Posted by: George Orwell in his cups at June 20, 2013 09:27 AM (xw77v)

104 ALSO, his eyebrows are on his hat

Posted by: Jones in CO at June 20, 2013 09:27 AM (8sCoq)

105 But yeah Capn Crunch was favorite as a kid. Who else had the ''treasure chest' cereal bowl?

Posted by: Jones in CO at June 20, 2013 09:28 AM (8sCoq)

106 BREAKING: The Man from GLAD is really from the NSA.

Posted by: George Orwell in his cups at June 20, 2013 09:28 AM (xw77v)

107 And you notice the good 'Cap'n' only has four fingers on each hand.  He is obviously an alien sent to Earth to subvert and weaken the minds of Humanity.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at June 20, 2013 09:29 AM (FRe+O)

108 Who has greater rank? The Cap'n on The Crunch? Or, the Skipper on Gilligan's Island?

Posted by: waldo

 

Although it was one of my favorite shows, I would have seriously demoted the Skipper.  He takes people on board with full wardrobes, jewelry, radios, flashlights, phonographs, records, and somehow the ability to make coconut pies.  Yet with all of this he can't navigate a storm.

Posted by: Toucan Koo-Koo for Cocoa Puffs at June 20, 2013 09:29 AM (G+Wff)

109 Toucan Sam? A fucking American Barbet.

Posted by: Jack Nine at June 20, 2013 09:29 AM (0h8aq)

110 The no-content threads will continue until morale improves.

...

Welcome to Ace of Buzzfeed HQ!

Posted by: red sweater at June 20, 2013 09:29 AM (oATMN)

111 I think you have it wrong. Cap'n Crunch is his nickname/call sign. He was the Skipper of a destroyer that collided at sea on his return to Norfolk. Luckily no one was injured, but after that fateful homecoming he was henceforth known as 'Cap'n Crunch'!!

Posted by: USNA1985 at June 20, 2013 09:29 AM (PUuQq)

112 if he's in charge of his vessel he is "Cap'n" Crunch and if there are three ships under his command historically he is "Commodore Crunch"....


so he is just following protocol or is a frocked Cap'n reverted back to CDR

Posted by: Esteban10077@sven10077 at June 20, 2013 09:29 AM (LRFds)

113 re: commodore

several posters who sound like they know what they're talking about offer a different explanation that I did.  I'm getting my explanation, actually, from Star Trek and particularly from Starship Troopers, which I think had a paragraph-long explanation on what "commodore" meant.

I don't know if they're wrong or if you guys are right but also missing another usage of Commodore (as a rank of convenience to avoid the Two Captains on One Ship problem).


Posted by: ace at June 20, 2013 09:29 AM (LCRYB)

114 All I want to know is if Cap'n Crunch is down with rum, sodomy and the lash.

Posted by: George Orwell in his cups at June 20, 2013 09:29 AM (xw77v)

115

Sorry.... but the CAPTAIN on most Destroyers, is a COMMANDER.

 

Heck... the Captain of smaller vessels can be a Lt. Commander, or even a Lt....

 

Captain is a Position, not just a Rank.

 

Thus, no stolen valor.... just you Landlubbers don't know the ways of the Sea...

Posted by: Romeo13, Retired Inebriated Nautical Proffesional at June 20, 2013 09:30 AM (lZBBB)

116 Speaking of razor cut,  do not attempt to eat Cap'n Crunch cereal without milk.

Posted by: SarahW at June 20, 2013 09:30 AM (LYwCh)

117 the Two Captains on One Ship problem Is this related to the Two Girls, One Cup problem?

Posted by: George Orwell in his cups at June 20, 2013 09:30 AM (xw77v)

118 Here you go BillyBob, important issues of the day that are not Amnesty.  Enjoy.

Posted by: LT at June 20, 2013 09:30 AM (mX6UJ)

119 Someone with more knowledge than me, tell me... The pic on the left shows the epaulettes which are worn on the shoulder and denote rank. The stripes on the sleeves are to show years of service correct? The two aren't the same.

Posted by: EC at June 20, 2013 09:30 AM (GQ8sn)

120 Nimitz ran aground a tin-can when he was an Lt and commanding.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at June 20, 2013 09:31 AM (FRe+O)

121 True story:  About 20 years ago my sister took my niece,  then a little girl,  to the park to feed the ducks.  They didn't have any bread,  so they took plastic bags of Captain Crunch.

The ducks wouldn't touch it,  even when it got all soggy after about 1/2 an hour in the water.

My niece STILL tells that story and wants to know what material Captain Crunch actually is made of,  because when even ducks won't eat it,  well,  what can you say?

Posted by: Miss Marple at June 20, 2013 09:31 AM (GoIUi)

122 Ace Cap'n Crunch served in the Lafayette Escadrille I think and helped form Naval Aviation....didn't he give Bull Halsey his flight instruction?

Posted by: Esteban10077@sven10077 at June 20, 2013 09:31 AM (LRFds)

123 Who has greater rank? The Cap'n on The Crunch? Or, the Skipper on Gilligan's Island?

It depends on whose boat you're on.

Posted by: Phinn at June 20, 2013 09:31 AM (oFH2D)

124 Good work ace.

Posted by: Truck Monkey at June 20, 2013 09:31 AM (32Ze2)

125 He takes people on board with full wardrobes, jewelry, radios, flashlights, phonographs, records, and somehow the ability to make coconut pies. Yet with all of this he can't navigate a storm. Posted by: Toucan Koo-Koo for Cocoa Puffs at June 20, 2013 01:29 PM (G+Wff) Hmm. I never knew coconut pies were a navigational tool.

Posted by: waldo at June 20, 2013 09:31 AM (RZwdH)

126 Let's not get started on the Energizer bunny who has been outed as an interspecies tranny. We're still trying to find out what animal he was born as.

Posted by: chique d'afrique (the artist formerly known as african chick) at June 20, 2013 09:31 AM (r+7wo)

127 > just you Landlubbers don't know the ways of the Sea... was it anything like in the Popeye cartoons? do you think Bluto and Popeye ever made Olive Oyl 'airtight'?

Posted by: Jones in CO at June 20, 2013 09:32 AM (8sCoq)

128 as a kid, i used to put a table spoon of sugar on top of my cap'n crunch

Posted by: phoenixgirl@phxazgrl at June 20, 2013 09:32 AM (8JJ6O)

129 And what about Sergeant Shriver?

Posted by: zsasz at June 20, 2013 09:32 AM (MMC8r)

130 Mighty Mouse was actually a gerbil.

Posted by: George Orwell in his cups at June 20, 2013 09:32 AM (xw77v)

131 Ahem, I would like to point out that "Captain Crunch" is not actually "Captain   Crunch."   His rank is that of "Cap'n,"   which could just as easily stand for "Capman,"   which would make sense given    his    FABULOUS hat.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit [/s][/b][/u][/i] at June 20, 2013 09:32 AM (4df7R)

132 All this stuff goin' down on immigration, IRS, the Middle East, et al and Ace decides that his opening at-bat is a drag bunt. Posted by: John P. Squibob at June 20, 2013 01:18 PM (kqqGm) By opening at bat you mean his second post of the day, right? I mean, obviously, you must not have missed the immigration post which was posted by ace immediately prior to this post. Obviously. Take a protip on bitchiness from one who knows, when being a wee little see you next Tuesday, it's vital to not give those who will be one right back at you such an obvious opening as to be mistaken about the underlying premise of your bitchiness.

Posted by: alexthechick - Bring the SMOD at June 20, 2013 09:32 AM (VtjlW)

133

Posted by: Toucan Koo-Koo for Cocoa Puffs at June 20, 2013 01:29 PM (G+Wff)

 

Yeah... but it was the Proffesor who had it goin on.... he had two hotties and he was the only reasonable bachelor...

 

Why do you think he couldn't figure out a way off the island??? He didn't want to.... because HIS Answer to... Mary Ann or Ginger? was YES!

Posted by: Romeo13, Retired Inebriated Nautical Proffesional at June 20, 2013 09:32 AM (lZBBB)

134 104 So, is Mr. Clean really a mister? I mean, he's got a shaved head, he's really cut, and he wears an earring. Posted by: George Orwell in his cups at June 20, 2013 01:27 PM (xw77v) Put your hand down his pants and find out...

Posted by: waldo at June 20, 2013 09:32 AM (RZwdH)

135 My niece STILL tells that story and wants to know what material Captain Crunch actually is made of, because when even ducks won't eat it, well, what can you say?

Posted by: Miss Marple at June 20, 2013 01:31 PM (GoIUi) ------------------

 

 

Asbestos pulled out of houses by the hazmat teams. It was "re-purposed".

Posted by: Guido at June 20, 2013 09:33 AM (8I9hB)

136 #129  When I married my husband,  he would put sugar on Sugar Pops.

How his mother never noticed this,  I do not know.  I mocked him until he quit doing it.

Posted by: Miss Marple at June 20, 2013 09:33 AM (GoIUi)

137 which could just as easily stand for "Capman," which would make sense given his FABULOUS hat. Well, he is in The Navy... *cue Village People*

Posted by: George Orwell in his cups at June 20, 2013 09:33 AM (xw77v)

138 Did Cap'n Crunch go the Naval Academy?

Posted by: Jones in CO at June 20, 2013 09:33 AM (8sCoq)

139 I may not know the ins and outs of the Capn's situation, but I can tell you the man of rank who misplayed his hand the worst was Major Nelson. Oh yes, Major Blacksheep would have handled that whole arrangement very differently.

Posted by: Blacksheep at June 20, 2013 09:34 AM (8/DeP)

140 MWR, We expect much from you tomorrow night. We want pics and video of BCochran and Bannion humiliating themselves trying to karoake.

Posted by: EC at June 20, 2013 09:34 AM (GQ8sn)

141 yeah, Navy captains ( 0- 6 ) really appreciate it when you call them 'colonel'


and that whole 'aye, aye' schitck is The Ghey

Posted by: Bertie Ahern at June 20, 2013 09:34 AM (omBWL)

142 114 Ace,

Commodore by parlance is ordinarily denoting Command and Control of a flotilla.....

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Commodore_%28rank%29

Cap'N Crunch is indirectly considered in Command of Booberry, Count Chocula, Lucky Charms.....


his Marine Contingent is ran by General Mills

Posted by: Esteban10077@sven10077 at June 20, 2013 09:34 AM (LRFds)

143 The stripes on the sleeves are to show years of service correct?

 

Posted by: EC at June 20, 2013 01:30 PM (GQ8sn)

 

 

Only for enlisted.... for Zeros it denotes Rank.

Posted by: Romeo13, Retired Inebriated Nautical Proffesional at June 20, 2013 09:34 AM (lZBBB)

144 Sugar Bear was actually a diabetic.

Posted by: George Orwell in his cups at June 20, 2013 09:34 AM (xw77v)

145 I    still haven't found out where   Purina    found those tiny horses   to pull their wagon.

Posted by: Vashta Nerada at June 20, 2013 09:35 AM (UhTsC)

146 Only for enlisted.... for Zeros it denotes Rank. Thanks.

Posted by: EC at June 20, 2013 09:35 AM (GQ8sn)

147

Cap'N Crunch is indirectly considered in Command of Booberry, Count Chocula, Lucky Charms.....

 

Speaking of Lucky Charms, I want my money back.  I ate Lucky Charms frequently as a child, and my luck STILL sucks.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit [/s][/b][/u][/i] at June 20, 2013 09:35 AM (4df7R)

148 Does the Cap'n still cut the roof of your mouth? Bastard... whatever rank.

Posted by: mare at June 20, 2013 09:35 AM (A98Xu)

149 O is for Oopps

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at June 20, 2013 09:35 AM (FRe+O)

150 I'm cuckoo for crack, now.

Posted by: Sonny at June 20, 2013 09:36 AM (MMC8r)

151 Commodore only becomes a "real" rank during wartime.  during peace time, they are all Rear Admiral Lower Half.  RMDL.

Posted by: Johnnyreb at June 20, 2013 09:36 AM (6McTJ)

152 While we are at it,  it took me about 3 months to figure out that Spongebob was UNDERWATER.  I couldn't figure out who Squidward was,  and the squirrel, Sandy,  totally confused me.

I attribute this to having to watch it in late afternoon after babysitting grandkids and taking them to the pool.  That's my story,  anyway.

Posted by: Miss Marple at June 20, 2013 09:36 AM (GoIUi)

153 Russell Brand rakes MSNBC over the coals http://tinyurl.com/russell-brand-morning-joe

Posted by: Beto at June 20, 2013 09:36 AM (MhA4j)

154 Yeah... but it was the Proffesor who had it goin on.... he had two hotties and he was the only reasonable bachelor... Talk about not seeing the island forest for the trees. I would have left most of them to starve in the dark while I took Ginger and Mary Ann to the other side of the island to spawn a large, inbred family that worshiped me like a god. And don't act like you never thought of it ....

Posted by: Blacksheep at June 20, 2013 09:36 AM (8/DeP)

155 So what happens with the Commodore 64 and 128?

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at June 20, 2013 09:37 AM (FRe+O)

156 Does the Cap'n still cut the roof of your mouth? Bastard... whatever rank. Posted by: mare at June 20, 2013 01:35 PM (A98Xu) Hmmm. Maybe the Cap'n and Count Chocula were in cahoots. Eat Cap'n Crunch, bleed all over and then the Count swoops in. Layers, man, layers.

Posted by: alexthechick - Bring the SMOD at June 20, 2013 09:37 AM (VtjlW)

157 Next you'll tell me that Captain Caveman was never in the Navy.

Posted by: Mætenloch at June 20, 2013 09:37 AM (XkotV)

158 also, the Navy calling ensigns ( 'N-signs' ) and LTs 'Mister' is a throwback to when all military officers were assumed to be in the gentry in Britain--and being a gentleman was more of a Status Marker than being a junior officer in the Royal Navy


we ain't in the the UK, and the gentry ain't what it used to be

Posted by: Bertie Ahern at June 20, 2013 09:37 AM (omBWL)

159 I'll bet the rooster on the Corn Flakes box was really a capon.

Posted by: George Orwell in his cups at June 20, 2013 09:37 AM (xw77v)

160 Wait, Colonel Sanders wasn't in the Marines?

Posted by: Ashley Judd's Puffy Scamper, aka MrCaniac at June 20, 2013 09:37 AM (BXLPR)

161  I still haven't found out where Purina found those tiny horses to pull their wagon.

Posted by: Vashta Nerada at June 20, 2013 01:35 PM (UhTsC)

 

------------------------------------------------------------------

I have an idea

Posted by: Rick Moranis at June 20, 2013 09:37 AM (32Ze2)

162 37 Maybe his first name is Cap'n ... something his parents saddled him with like Gouverneur Morris or Learned Hand. Posted by: Blacksheep at June 20, 2013 01:18 PM (8/DeP) Nope. He is named Horatio Magellan Crunch.

Posted by: Ashley Judd's Puffy Scamper, aka MrCaniac at June 20, 2013 09:38 AM (BXLPR)

163 114 re: commodore several posters who sound like they know what they're talking about offer a different explanation that I did. I'm getting my explanation, actually, from Star Trek and particularly from Starship Troopers, which I think had a paragraph-long explanation on what "commodore" meant. I don't know if they're wrong or if you guys are right but also missing another usage of Commodore (as a rank of convenience to avoid the Two Captains on One Ship problem). Posted by: ace at June 20, 2013 01:29 PM (LCRYB) Ehhh, I think RAH was being a bit much over the title thing about that and the brevet "Major" Marine Captains ostensibly get. Not very much done nowadays, I must say. More common is to say CO for the Old Man anymore. FTR, I'm a retired Navy Senior Chief, So I lived this shit for 22 years.

Posted by: Trelawney Hope at June 20, 2013 09:38 AM (PjUqy)

164 158 Maet,

Captain Caveman was very obviously a Marine....

I'll elaborate if necessary

Posted by: Esteban10077@sven10077 at June 20, 2013 09:38 AM (LRFds)

165 Vashta Nerada you just solved the mystery of where My Little Ponies came from.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at June 20, 2013 09:38 AM (FRe+O)

166 I never liked the Pillsbury Doughboy. There....I said it.

Posted by: eleven at June 20, 2013 09:38 AM (KXm42)

167

Posted by: Blacksheep at June 20, 2013 01:36 PM (8/DeP)

 

 

Naw... I think he kept Gilligan and the Skipper around to do scut work...

 

Someone had to gather the Coconuts... so let the Omegas do it...

Posted by: Romeo13, Retired Inebriated Nautical Proffesional at June 20, 2013 09:38 AM (lZBBB)

168 Take a protip on bitchiness from one who knows, when being a wee little see you next Tuesday, it's vital to not give those who will be one right back at you such an obvious opening as to be mistaken about the underlying premise of your bitchiness.

Posted by: alexthechick - Bring the SMOD at June 20, 2013 01:32 PM (VtjlW) ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Exactly! Although I have no idea what you said, would you please repeat it for Ms. Guido? I think she would get something out of it....except why in the end do I think I'll get my ass kicked?

Posted by: Guido at June 20, 2013 09:38 AM (8I9hB)

169 Wait, Colonel Sanders wasn't in the Marines? Posted by: Ashley Judd's Puffy Scamper, aka MrCaniac at June 20, 2013 01:37 PM (BXLPR) Captain Kangaroo was.

Posted by: alexthechick - Bring the SMOD at June 20, 2013 09:38 AM (VtjlW)

170 It's three stripes and four stripes in the Royal Navy and the Royal Canadian Navy too.

Posted by: andycanuck at June 20, 2013 09:39 AM (9+vDU)

171 Wait, Colonel Sanders wasn't in the Marines? He lost his Air Force commission because he couldn't get those chickens off the ground.

Posted by: George Orwell in his cups at June 20, 2013 09:39 AM (xw77v)

172 >>> And I'm a former Marine. How sad is it that I know these things? Taint sad.

Posted by: fluffy, former grunt at June 20, 2013 09:39 AM (z9HTb)

173 I think that the Tidy Bowl Man was at least an Ensign?

Posted by: Cheri at June 20, 2013 09:39 AM (G+Wff)

174 Don't go lecturing me about Commodores.

Posted by: Lionel Ritchie at June 20, 2013 09:39 AM (A0sHn)

175 Dr. Pepper's degree was strictly honorary.

Posted by: zsasz at June 20, 2013 09:39 AM (MMC8r)

176 Morons Unhinged.

It's not just for the ONT anymore.

Posted by: Tobacco Road at June 20, 2013 09:40 AM (4Mv1T)

177 You mean Aunt Jemima wasn't really my dad's sister?!?

Posted by: George Orwell in his cups at June 20, 2013 09:40 AM (xw77v)

178 the diagonal stripes on enlisted men's lower sleeve show years of service.


in the Nay-vee, the circular stripes going around both lower sleeves show rank for officers.  The Coastees are the same, methinks

Posted by: Bertie Ahern at June 20, 2013 09:40 AM (omBWL)

179 *Sigh*

Posted by: Major M. Major (Maj., USA, ret.) at June 20, 2013 09:40 AM (z4vvZ)

180 White SUV was probably not the best choice of automobile for Aaron Hernandez. Fox 25 live streaming him from chopper as he leaves Gillette. Still not arrested, so that's something.

Posted by: lincolntf at June 20, 2013 09:40 AM (ZshNr)

181 #172  As God is my witness, I thought chickens could fly.

Posted by: Miss Marple at June 20, 2013 09:40 AM (GoIUi)

182 Taint sad.

Posted by: fluffy, former grunt

Posted by: Cheri former Coast Guard at June 20, 2013 09:40 AM (G+Wff)

183 Mrs. Butterworth was a common law wife.

Posted by: George Orwell in his cups at June 20, 2013 09:40 AM (xw77v)

184 He lost his Air Force commission because he couldn't get those chickens off the ground. Posted by: George Orwell in his cups at June 20, 2013 01:39 PM (xw77v) As God is my witness . . .

Posted by: alexthechick - Bring the SMOD at June 20, 2013 09:40 AM (VtjlW)

185 Secure that nonsense and square away your uniform, Captain, or I WILL take a giant shit on you.

Posted by: General Mills at June 20, 2013 09:40 AM (sefnN)

186 Mr. Clean was actually an assassin. Think about it. That little he does at the end? It's to remind you that snitches get their throats cut and he'll make your children's eyes close forever.

Posted by: EC at June 20, 2013 09:40 AM (GQ8sn)

187 Next you're gonna tell me that Dr. Pepper is not an actual Doctor. 

Posted by: Truck Monkey at June 20, 2013 09:41 AM (32Ze2)

188 Orange moose,  a critter in name only.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SN3WCnBAdrc

Posted by: SarahW at June 20, 2013 09:41 AM (LYwCh)

189 If they put out Cap'n Crunch with this picture, well whoa Nelly I think they would sell a million boxes in a day.

http://tinyurl.com/kl2sj5y

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at June 20, 2013 09:41 AM (FRe+O)

190 152 Commodore only becomes a "real" rank during wartime. during peace time, they are all Rear Admiral Lower Half. RMDL. Posted by: Johnnyreb at June 20, 2013 01:36 PM (6McTJ) Not really. Commodore was the actual one-star rank title until about 1986, then they came up with the Upper/Lower Half kludge. They wanted to be called Admirals since the army flags are all Generals.

Posted by: Trelawney Hope at June 20, 2013 09:41 AM (PjUqy)

191 wink

Posted by: EC at June 20, 2013 09:41 AM (GQ8sn)

192 Uncle Ben? In reality he hates rice. Won't touch it.

Posted by: George Orwell in his cups at June 20, 2013 09:42 AM (xw77v)

193 173 >>> And I'm a former Marine. How sad is it that I know these things?

Taint sad.    

Posted by: fluffy, former grunt at June 20, 2013 01:39 PM (z9HTb)

 

 

Well... the Marines ARE part of the Navy...

 

/ducks

Posted by: Romeo13, Retired Inebriated Nautical Proffesional at June 20, 2013 09:42 AM (lZBBB)

194 153 While we are at it, it took me about 3 months to figure out that Spongebob was UNDERWATER.

Posted by: Miss Marple at June 20, 2013 01:36 PM (GoIUi)

Isn't Miss Marple supposed to be a great detective? Who lives in a pineapple UNDER THE SEA? Bubbles and all?

Posted by: red sweater at June 20, 2013 09:42 AM (oATMN)

195 I had always assumed that Captain Crunch was not in the military but was, in fact, a pirate captain. The military uniform he wears is a trophy taken from a vanquished foe. Some commander that tried unsuccessfully to end his reign of terror at some point.

Posted by: jeff at June 20, 2013 09:42 AM (aQ3OJ)

196 >>>Next you're gonna tell me that Dr. Pepper is not an actual Doctor.
-----------------------
Appointments at 10, 2 and 4.

Posted by: Tobacco Road at June 20, 2013 09:42 AM (4Mv1T)

197 Morons Unhinged. It's not just for the ONT anymore. Posted by: Tobacco Road at June 20, 2013 01:40 PM (4Mv1T) You must admit this is better than screaming at each other.

Posted by: alexthechick - Bring the SMOD at June 20, 2013 09:42 AM (VtjlW)

198 Chef Boyardee was only a busboy.

Posted by: George Orwell in his cups at June 20, 2013 09:42 AM (xw77v)

199 188 He's a Podiatrist,I believe.

Posted by: steevy at June 20, 2013 09:42 AM (9XBK2)

200 139 Did Cap'n Crunch go the Naval Academy? Posted by: Jones in CO at June 20, 2013 01:33 PM (8sCoq) Battlefield commission.

Posted by: Ashley Judd's Puffy Scamper, aka MrCaniac at June 20, 2013 09:42 AM (BXLPR)

201 I appear on Brawny Paper Towel packaging.

Posted by: David Duke at June 20, 2013 09:43 AM (32Ze2)

202 Chickens can fly a wee bit. Nothing stranger than seeing a tree full of chickens.

Posted by: eleven at June 20, 2013 09:43 AM (KXm42)

203 179 the diagonal stripes on enlisted men's lower sleeve show years of service. Posted by: Bertie Ahern at June 20, 2013 01:40 PM (omBWL) In 4-year increments.

Posted by: Trelawney Hope at June 20, 2013 09:43 AM (PjUqy)

204 >>> I never liked the Pillsbury Doughboy. Me either. He preferred to bake off.

Posted by: Sara Lee at June 20, 2013 09:43 AM (z9HTb)

205 I feel the urge to drink until I swish around like Captain Jack Sparrow, that's all I know.

Posted by: Lemmenkainen, Freelance Warlord at June 20, 2013 09:43 AM (ZWvOb)

206 Le Affaire Crunch

Posted by: Ben at June 20, 2013 09:43 AM (C2Y4l)

207 What about Captain Kangaroo - anyone vet him yet?

Posted by: Lizzy at June 20, 2013 09:43 AM (gTXnI)

208 Barack Obama is a stuttering clusterf*ck of a malignant traitor.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at June 20, 2013 09:43 AM (/PCJa)

209 they're changing the name of Vanderbilt University to Chocula Tech


....because of the Commodore thing, and other stuff

Posted by: Bertie Ahern at June 20, 2013 09:43 AM (omBWL)

210 188 Next you're gonna tell me that Dr. Pepper is not an actual Doctor.    

Posted by: Truck Monkey at June 20, 2013 01:41 PM (32Ze2)

 

 

No, but it was originally sold as a 'Patent Medicine'...

Posted by: Romeo13, Retired Inebriated Nautical Proffesional at June 20, 2013 09:43 AM (lZBBB)

211 Take a protip on bitchiness from one who knows, when being a wee little see you next Tuesday, it's vital to not give those who will be one right back at you such an obvious opening as to be mistaken about the underlying premise of your bitchiness.

Posted by: alexthechick - Bring the SMOD

 

 

ATC - It's  Cee-U-Next-Tuesday!

 

 

Posted by: Cheri former Coast Guard at June 20, 2013 09:43 AM (G+Wff)

212 Is it not possible that Captain Crunch is not a member of the Royal British Navy instead? The navy, I think, who have done so much for us, have at least an equal claim with any other set of men, for all the comforts and all the privileges which any home can give. Sailors work hard enough for their comforts, we must all allow." - Jane Austen, Persuasion, Ch. 3

Posted by: Jane Austen at June 20, 2013 09:43 AM (87Uf9)

213 Darn it. Now I want some "Oops! All Berries!" Cap'n Crunchberries.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at June 20, 2013 09:43 AM (/PCJa)

214 Colonel Sanders?

Posted by: steevy at June 20, 2013 09:44 AM (9XBK2)

215 I always heard that Cap'n Crunch resigned his commission when the Navy began accepting Froot Loops.

Posted by: lincolntf at June 20, 2013 09:44 AM (ZshNr)

216 196 Jeff,

He's an Air Pirate....Cap'n Crunch helped Claire Cehnnault set up the Flying Tigers.....

his group was called the Yodeling Grasshoppers...

really classified stuff he was stabilizing our base in Shangri-La

Posted by: Esteban10077@sven10077 at June 20, 2013 09:44 AM (LRFds)

217 Pepperidge Farms? Yeah. You guessed it. They don't even have a barn or a tractor.

Posted by: George Orwell in his cups at June 20, 2013 09:44 AM (xw77v)

218 in the Army, it's three year increments; or used to be, back in The Day

Posted by: Bertie Ahern at June 20, 2013 09:44 AM (omBWL)

219 I'm on it.

Posted by: Cahrles Jhonson at June 20, 2013 09:44 AM (32Ze2)

220 Chef Boyardee was only a busboy. Hah.....the funny thing is there really was a chef Boyardee. His real name was Boiardi.

Posted by: eleven at June 20, 2013 09:45 AM (KXm42)

221 Barack Obama is a stuttering clusterf*ck of a malignant traitor. Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at June 20, 2013 01:43 PM I know you'll appreciate this http://tinyurl.com/russell-brand-morning-joe

Posted by: Beto at June 20, 2013 09:45 AM (MhA4j)

222 What does three up and three down mean to you, airman? End of an inning?

Posted by: JackStraw at June 20, 2013 09:45 AM (g1DWB)

223 Captain Morgan?!

Posted by: Tami[/i][/b][/u][/s] at June 20, 2013 09:45 AM (X6akg)

224 >>>You must admit this is better than screaming at each other. Posted by: alexthechick - Bring the SMOD
--------------------------------------

It's like Ace has his finger on the pulse of the Horde's collective heads, which are all ready to explode. Then he deftly hits the pressure release valve and averts disaster.

Posted by: Tobacco Road at June 20, 2013 09:46 AM (4Mv1T)

225 I question the authenticity of Cee-Lo Green's Blackness.

Posted by: General Mills at June 20, 2013 09:46 AM (sefnN)

226 219 in the Army, it's three year increments; or used to be, back in The Day Posted by: Bertie Ahern at June 20, 2013 01:44 PM (omBWL) We're on 3-year increments for good conduct ribbons. Also, if the stripes and rank are gold instead of red, it's 12 years continuous good service. I didn't get mine until 17 years in.

Posted by: Trelawney Hope at June 20, 2013 09:46 AM (PjUqy)

227 Le Affaire Crunch J'ai croquée!!

Posted by: George Orwell in his cups at June 20, 2013 09:46 AM (xw77v)

228 That bastard cuts the shit out of the roof of my mouth. In less awesome news, I believe I have a quart or so of paint in my sinuses. Yay for failed safety equipment!

Posted by: DangerGirl, getting angrier by the day at June 20, 2013 09:46 AM (Cegrh)

229 His real name was Boiardi.

 

Posted by: eleven at June 20, 2013 01:45 PM (KXm42)

 

Russian???? Commie??? /shudder

Posted by: Romeo13, Retired Inebriated Nautical Proffesional at June 20, 2013 09:46 AM (lZBBB)

230 Captain Morgan?! No, he was real. But a fag.

Posted by: George Orwell in his cups at June 20, 2013 09:47 AM (xw77v)

231 You mean to tell me Mrs. Dash isn't married to Mr. Dash?

Posted by: Armando at June 20, 2013 09:47 AM (5iuEW)

232 Tidy Bowlman. German pron aficionado?

Posted by: Ashley Judd's Puffy Scamper, aka MrCaniac at June 20, 2013 09:47 AM (BXLPR)

233 224 Captain Morgan?!  


 

Posted by: Tami at June 20, 2013 01:45 PM (X6akg)

 

 

Really was a Captain.... a Pirate Captain...

Posted by: Romeo13, Retired Inebriated Nautical Proffesional at June 20, 2013 09:47 AM (lZBBB)

234 I think we need to open up an investigation into the disappearance of the Cinnamon Toast Crunch Bakers.

Posted by: buzzion at June 20, 2013 09:47 AM (LI48c)

235 >> Well... the Marines ARE part of the Navy... >> /ducks Why are you ducking? Are you afraid of the other Village People, too?

Posted by: Sara Lee at June 20, 2013 09:47 AM (z9HTb)

236 I still eat Cap'n Crunch, and wow does that sound really, really wrong. I guess I have to give that up too, and for damn sure neither my son nor daughter are eating Cap'n Crunch either!

Posted by: Penfold at June 20, 2013 09:47 AM (Fbt5B)

237 Life (without parole) cereal.

Posted by: EC at June 20, 2013 09:48 AM (GQ8sn)

238

211 188 Next you're gonna tell me that Dr. Pepper is not an actual Doctor. 

Posted by: Truck Monkey at June 20, 2013 01:41 PM (32Ze2)  ---------------

 

No but he played one on TV.

Posted by: Guido at June 20, 2013 09:48 AM (8I9hB)

239 Maybe Heinlein made that up, or maybe I'm just misremembering. You'd have to check British naval tradition. That's where Heinlein got most of his military jargon for Starship Troopers.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at June 20, 2013 09:48 AM (/PCJa)

240 You've noticed there aren't any female Keebler Elves? NTTAWWTIYKWIM

Posted by: Beto at June 20, 2013 09:48 AM (MhA4j)

241 Has anyone ever seen CdrM and Capt Crunch together? Just saying

Posted by: Navycopjoe at June 20, 2013 09:48 AM (HQX6o)

242 Also, if the stripes and rank are gold instead of red, it's 12 years continuous good service. I didn't get mine until 17 years in.

 

Posted by: Trelawney Hope at June 20, 2013 01:46 PM (PjUqy)

 

Navy is on the Four Year Plan... but Gold after 12...

Posted by: Romeo13, Retired Inebriated Nautical Proffesional at June 20, 2013 09:48 AM (lZBBB)

243 Finally! I've found the hill to die on!

Posted by: Hobbitopoly at June 20, 2013 09:48 AM (fk1A8)

244 Well, the wiki entry is not quite right (at least as it pertains to U.S rank). Indeed, a commodore is the senior captain in a flotilla (in the U.S) it used to be a temporary rank generally held in time of war. It is equivalent to a one star admiral. A rear admiral is a two star admiral.

Posted by: Frumious Bandersnatch at June 20, 2013 09:48 AM (ZFg/d)

245 Little Debbie was actually 6'2" and weighed 220 lbs.

Posted by: Armando at June 20, 2013 09:49 AM (5iuEW)

246 Those Keebler Elves? They are angry.

Posted by: Kristina Ribali at June 20, 2013 09:49 AM (xw77v)

247 Thus, the Oregon exchange will likely suffer the same fate as CaliforniaÂ’s, a death spiral. As the younger and healthier people realize that the price of insurance is more than the fine and that guaranteed issue rules force insurers to sell them a policy even when they get sick, theyÂ’ll have substantial incentives to forgo insurance until they actually need it.

Posted by: Dr McCoy at June 20, 2013 09:49 AM (e8kgV)

248 Little Debbie was actually 6'2" and weighed 220 lbs. C'mon now. She's still the smallest giant on record.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at June 20, 2013 09:49 AM (/PCJa)

249 242 NCJ,

now that you mention it....

Posted by: Esteban10077@sven10077 at June 20, 2013 09:49 AM (LRFds)

250 nobody does it like sara lee!

Posted by: little debbie does dallas at June 20, 2013 09:49 AM (8JJ6O)

251 236 >> Well... the Marines ARE part of the Navy... >> /ducks Why are you ducking? Are you afraid of the other Village People, too? Posted by: Sara Lee at June 20, 2013 01:47 PM (z9HTb) It's touchy - they are in the very strictest sense but don't like being reminded of that.

Posted by: Trelawney Hope at June 20, 2013 09:50 AM (PjUqy)

252 Little Debbie was actually 6'2" and weighed 220 lbs. As played by Brian Dennehy.

Posted by: George Orwell in his cups at June 20, 2013 09:50 AM (xw77v)

253 Posted by: Dr McCoy at June 20, 2013 01:49 PM (e8kgV) Almost as though destruction of the current insurance system were part of the plan.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at June 20, 2013 09:50 AM (/PCJa)

254 Thanks for the thread, Ace. Funny and a good pressure release as someone noted above. In fact, I suggest putting a few more "nonsense" threads in for the rest of today.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at June 20, 2013 09:50 AM (87Uf9)

255 Nuked!

Posted by: EC at June 20, 2013 09:51 AM (GQ8sn)

256 Bring the SMOD ATC - It's Cee-U-Next-Tuesday! Posted by: Cheri former Coast Guard at June 20, 2013 01:43 PM (G+Wff) Fair point! Lemon bar?

Posted by: alexthechick - Bring the SMOD at June 20, 2013 09:51 AM (VtjlW)

257 Back!

Posted by: EC at June 20, 2013 09:51 AM (GQ8sn)

258 WTF just happened?

Posted by: Tami[/i][/b][/u][/s] at June 20, 2013 09:51 AM (X6akg)

259 223 What does three up and three down mean to you, airman? End of an inning? Posted by: JackStraw at June 20, 2013 01:45 PM (g1DWB) A double "2 in the pink and one in the stink"?

Posted by: Ashley Judd's Puffy Scamper, aka MrCaniac at June 20, 2013 09:51 AM (BXLPR)

260 Wendy, the hamburger ginger? I'd hit like a spatula on a chuck patty. Even if she ain't a real ginger.

Posted by: George Orwell in his cups at June 20, 2013 09:51 AM (xw77v)

261 Was that Nork? ...or one of ours?

Posted by: Tobacco Road at June 20, 2013 09:51 AM (4Mv1T)

262 Ettes. Who would you rather...Capt. Ahab or Ernest Borgnine? Discuss.

Posted by: Guido at June 20, 2013 09:51 AM (8I9hB)

263 240 Maybe Heinlein made that up, or maybe I'm just misremembering. You'd have to check British naval tradition. That's where Heinlein got most of his military jargon for Starship Troopers. Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at June 20, 2013 01:48 PM (/PCJa) To be fair, that's where the US Navy got theirs, too. And RAH did attend USNA.

Posted by: Trelawney Hope at June 20, 2013 09:51 AM (PjUqy)

264 What rank was the Tidy-Bowl dude?

Posted by: t-dubya-d at June 20, 2013 09:51 AM (u6lBN)

265 also, the star above the stripes on his sleeves denotes a line officer; I always saw Capt Crunch as a Supply Guy.


or a JAG geek; or a dentist, maybe, with a Steady Hand

Posted by: Bertie Ahern at June 20, 2013 09:52 AM (omBWL)

266 I recall reading about the sinking of the Bismarck that there was an Fleet Admiral on board and a Captain on the bridge.  In the movie the Admiral was a gung-ho Hitler fan, and the Captain not so much.  The Captain had to wait until the Admiral gave the OK to open fire, according to the Chief Gunnery Officer, who was the highest  ranking officer to survive.

Posted by: Ray Van Dune at June 20, 2013 09:52 AM (TQbuA)

267 Back! Posted by: EC at June 20, 2013 01:51 PM (GQ8sn)
Front!

Posted by: alexthechick - Bring the SMOD at June 20, 2013 09:52 AM (VtjlW)

268 Front! Posted by: alexthechick - Bring the SMOD at June 20, 2013 01:52 PM (VtjlW) Front to back or back to front?

Posted by: EC at June 20, 2013 09:53 AM (GQ8sn)

269 I'm tired. Thanks for the break. Fox News sucks.

Posted by: Mil-Dot at June 20, 2013 09:53 AM (Cs2tJ)

270 Russell Brand rakes MSNBC over the coals

http://tinyurl.com/russell-brand-morning-joe

Posted by: Beto at June 20, 2013 01:36 PM (MhA4j)



Holy shit; I'm no big Russell Brand fan but he almost had Meeka squirting on that one.  Scarborough might be so pissed another intern might die.

Posted by: Captain Hate at June 20, 2013 09:53 AM (0Y/LU)

271 I made the pic more small device friendly.  Sometimes making an update like that disappears the comments until the next one is posted.

Posted by: Purp[/i][/b][/u][/s] at June 20, 2013 09:53 AM (/gHaE)

272 267 The Admiral is in command of the force and decides what gets done,once he gives the order the Individual Captains decide how to carry it out .

Posted by: steevy at June 20, 2013 09:53 AM (9XBK2)

273 Lemon bar?

Posted by: alexthechick - Bring the SMOD at June 20, 2013 01:51 PM (VtjlW)

Seriously....I have a fantastic recipe for lemon bars. Unfortunately they are about half butter.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at June 20, 2013 09:53 AM (WW8xK)

274 To be fair, that's where the US Navy got theirs, too. And RAH did attend USNA. Yes, but one of the conceits of Starship Troopers was that the restoration after their own burning times began in the British Isles. Once they got their own crap together, they kind of took over the world. But in a nice way. So a lot of the naval traditions he mentions come specifically from the British. As many (or more) were just made up, since he was writing fiction anyway.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at June 20, 2013 09:54 AM (/PCJa)

275 Front to back or back to front? Posted by: EC at June 20, 2013 01:53 PM (GQ8sn) *smacksmacksmacksmacksmack*

Posted by: alexthechick - Bring the SMOD at June 20, 2013 09:54 AM (VtjlW)

276 What rank was the Tidy-Bowl dude?

Turd class petty officer?

Posted by: Mil-Dot at June 20, 2013 09:54 AM (Cs2tJ)

277 247 Those Keebler Elves? They are angry. Posted by: Kristina Ribali at June 20, 2013 01:49 PM (xw77v) You'd be pissed to if you were locked in a tree 24/7 baking fucking cookies and crackers for fucking crumbs.

Posted by: Ashley Judd's Puffy Scamper, aka MrCaniac at June 20, 2013 09:54 AM (BXLPR)

278 From the Update: "I can't find any citation to back up my belief that "commodore" serves as a rank of convenience to avoid a Two Captains on One Ship problem. Maybe Heinlein made that up, or maybe I'm just misremembering." Starship Troopers and Star Trek as sources? Puh-leeze. This is a serious discussion about historical treatment of naval rank and position. Look no further than Captain Jack Sparrow's conversation with Captain Barbossa in "Pirates of the Caribbean" concerning the latter's potential of becoming a Commodore of a fleet of two pirate ships, one of which was the Black Pearl.

Posted by: Burn the Witch at June 20, 2013 09:54 AM (84wuL)

279 I had a great uncle who was a commodore in the pre-WWI era and later. He commanded a group of ships, not sure how large. Apparently he was a bit of a pompous pain because any time the family mentioned him they'd scowl.

Posted by: SurferDoc at June 20, 2013 09:54 AM (F+av1)

280 Pavel Chekov was quoted as calling him "Keptin Karunch"

Posted by: RobM1981 at June 20, 2013 09:55 AM (XFKC+)

281 *smacksmacksmacksmacksmack* Posted by: alexthechick - Bring the SMOD at June 20, 2013 01:54 PM (VtjlW) Owowowowow!

Posted by: EC at June 20, 2013 09:55 AM (GQ8sn)

282 252 236 >> Well... the Marines ARE part of the Navy...
 
>> /ducks  

Why are you ducking? Are you afraid of the other Village People, too?  

Posted by: Sara Lee at June 20, 2013 01:47 PM (z9HTb)  

It's touchy - they are in the very strictest sense but don't like being reminded of that.    

Posted by: Trelawney Hope at June 20, 2013 01:50 PM (PjUqy)

 

Because my first ship was the USS Iwo Jima (LPH-2)?  Where I LIVED with Shipboard Marines for Long periods of time?

Posted by: Romeo13, Retired Inebriated Nautical Proffesional at June 20, 2013 09:55 AM (lZBBB)

283 The Quaker promised me a line number.

Posted by: Com'dr Crunch at June 20, 2013 09:55 AM (2iU3x)

284 Nixon got a commission during WWII as a reserve Lt Commander in the Naval Supply Corps, but stopped using the photo of him in uniform after he got elected to the House in 46.


So many men from his generation were actual combat veterans that a Supply Guy looked like a Comparative Weenie

Posted by: Bertie Ahern at June 20, 2013 09:55 AM (omBWL)

285 An aircraft carrier can have multiple captains (O-6) onboard: the Commanding Officer (always referred to as The Captain), the Executive Officer, the Commander Air Group (CAG), the Deputy CAG, the Chief Engineer, and captains on the Admiral's staff. Since an aircraft carrier on deployment always sails with a Battle group, there is nearly always an admiral onboard.

Posted by: Louise at June 20, 2013 09:56 AM (mQmzV)

286 Pushback: lulz

Posted by: eleven at June 20, 2013 09:57 AM (KXm42)

287   Navy is on the Four Year Plan... but Gold after 12...

  Posted by: Romeo13, Retired Inebriated Nautical Proffesional at June 20, 2013 01:48 PM (lZBBB)....

 

But we switched out our Navy Good Conduct medals to three years vice 4 to match everyone else.  I mean was it really that hard to go 4 years to get one?

Posted by: Johnnyreb at June 20, 2013 09:57 AM (6McTJ)

288 Posted by: Romeo13, Retired Inebriated Nautical Proffesional at June 20, 2013 01:55 PM (lZBBB) My last was USS Nassau LHA-4, so I understand completely. Still liked to poke the Gunnys in Combat Cargo about it, though. I could get away with that because they were initiated "Chiefs" too.

Posted by: Trelawney Hope at June 20, 2013 09:57 AM (PjUqy)

289 Seriously....I have a fantastic recipe for lemon bars. Unfortunately they are about half butter. Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at June 20, 2013 01:53 PM (WW8xK) I fail to see how that's unfortunate.

Posted by: alexthechick - Bring the SMOD at June 20, 2013 09:57 AM (VtjlW)

290 261 Wendy, the hamburger ginger? I'd hit like a spatula on a chuck patty. Even if she ain't a real ginger. Posted by: George Orwell in his cups at June 20, 2013 01:51 PM (xw77v) Real "Wendy" or the "Wendy" actress that says "Now that's better". Because "real Wendy" is the antidote for a Viagra boner lasting more than 4 hours. "Actress Wendy", well, I'm betting that scamper is "hot n' juicy".

Posted by: Ashley Judd's Puffy Scamper, aka MrCaniac at June 20, 2013 09:58 AM (BXLPR)

291 MUSIC fan Barack Obama kept getting George Osborne’s name wrong after mixing him up with one of his favourite soul stars — Jeffrey Osborne.

The President explained his confusion to the Chancellor as he apologised for calling him “Jeffrey” three times at the G8 summit of the world’s wealthiest nations.

A witness dubbed the series of slips “a visibly crushing blow” to the Chancellor.

George Osborne prides himself on being very pro-American — but that’s where the similarity ends.

JEFFREY OSBORNE, 65, is an R&B singer and songwriter whose hits include the 1982 ballad On the Wings of Love. His father, Clarence “Legs” Osborne, was a trumpet player who had 12 children and died when Jeffrey was 13.

GEORGE OSBORNE, 42, is the Oxford-educated MP for Tatton in Cheshire. His dad, Sir Peter Osborne, is the 17th Baronet of Ballentaylor and Ballylemon in County Waterford, Ireland, and co-founder of the posh fabric and wallpaper designers Osborne & Little.

Posted by: 57 States at June 20, 2013 09:58 AM (e8kgV)

292 Posted by: Purp at June 20, 2013 01:53 PM (/gHaE)

Once we get to upgrade to Minx 0.71 alpha that problem should be fixed.

#twoweeks

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at June 20, 2013 09:58 AM (WW8xK)

293 Thanks Ace. I knew you couldn't resist the capt

Posted by: Billy Bob, pseudo intellectual at June 20, 2013 09:58 AM (CKNcG)

294

So if Crunch is actually Commander Crunch, what does this make Captain Kangaroo?

 

Or The Captain (and Tennille)?

 

Or Commander McBragg?

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at June 20, 2013 09:58 AM (zF6Iw)

295 Ahh, but the crunchberries that's... that's where I had them. They laughed at me and made jokes but I proved beyond the shadow of a doubt and with... geometric logic... that a duplicate key to the wardroom icebox DID exist, and I'd have produced that key if they hadn't of pulled the Caine out of action. I, I, I know now they were only trying to protect some fellow officers...

Posted by: Captain Qunch at June 20, 2013 09:59 AM (++9Rf)

296 "Actress Wendy", well, I'm betting that scamper is "hot n' juicy". I think she's really a blonde. As if that mattered.

Posted by: George Orwell in his cups at June 20, 2013 09:59 AM (xw77v)

297 Open Letter to Nancy Pelosi
http://tinyurl.com/m23pu77

From Priests for Life

Posted by: caustic at June 20, 2013 10:00 AM (/b8+5)

298 What rank is the little man in the boat?

Posted by: Tami[/i][/b][/u][/s] at June 20, 2013 10:00 AM (X6akg)

299 So while this thread is in last gasps. Anyone here recently try to fly in the US with an expired driver's license as the only form of govt. issued photo ID?

I'm asking for an idiot 20 year old.

Posted by: Tobacco Road at June 20, 2013 10:00 AM (4Mv1T)

300 Rear Admiral (lower half) is also known  as Butt Cheek.

Posted by: Roy at June 20, 2013 10:00 AM (VndSC)

301 #195  That is why it was so humiliating

 Of course,  I don't get these newer cartoons anyway, not seeing the humor and not recognizing what the characters are supposed to be.  I mean, I never paid attention to the "under the sea" part because he lived in a damn PINEAPPLE, a land-based fruit.  And the squirrel astronaut confused me.

And don't even talk to me about Oswald the Octopus,  with a penguin,  a talking flower, a weiner dog in a bun,  and assorted bizarro othr characters.  THAT one used to put me to sleep!

Posted by: Miss Marple at June 20, 2013 10:00 AM (GoIUi)

302 you know, I just glanced at some pics of Captain Kirk on google image and he had three stripes just above his shirt cuffs. Clearly this sets previous theories on their hypothetical ears. (Capt Picard didn't have any, by the looks of it, although he had 4 silvery buttons to something like that on what would have been his collar.)

Posted by: mallfly at June 20, 2013 10:00 AM (bJm7W)

303 Minx 0.71 will have other design deficiencies like a lack of the %.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at June 20, 2013 10:00 AM (FRe+O)

304 I know it sounds funny but I just can't stand the pain, girl I'm leaving you tomorrow.... (way better than) Muskrat Suzie, Muskrat Sam Do the jitterbug at a Muskrat Land And they shimmy, Sam is so skinny... Rank?

Posted by: Jrr at June 20, 2013 10:01 AM (BdVar)

305 @ 286.  Your forgot to include the senior Doctor and Dentist on that list.  On Carriers there is almost always one of each.

Posted by: Johnnyreb at June 20, 2013 10:01 AM (6McTJ)

306 299 What rank is the little man in the boat? Posted by: Tami at June 20, 2013 02:00 PM (X6akg) Whatever she tells me it is.

Posted by: Trelawney Hope at June 20, 2013 10:01 AM (PjUqy)

307 I think she's really a blonde. As if that mattered. Posted by: George Orwell in his cups at June 20, 2013 01:59 PM (xw77v) *hauls out traffic cones* Okay, the line for those in the Horde who will now nobly volunteer to conduct an inspection to ascertain that truth of that assertion starts over there. Please maintain your position in line.

Posted by: alexthechick - Bring the SMOD at June 20, 2013 10:01 AM (VtjlW)

308 thanks Ace and all of you morons for putting a smile on my face. Crazy fuckers Tricks are for Hookers not kids.

Posted by: Misanthropic humanitarian at June 20, 2013 10:01 AM (HVff2)

309 Clearly the Cap'n was hacked! He was not sending pictures of the "Lil Cap'n" all over the net. And he surely didn't take pics of his crunchberries! This is an outrage.

Posted by: Minnfidel at June 20, 2013 10:01 AM (jiESZ)

310 Mrs. Paul not only isn't married, she doesn't even like tuna.

Posted by: George Orwell in his cups at June 20, 2013 10:01 AM (xw77v)

311

Uncle Ben?

 

Not my uncle.

 

I was crushed the     day I learned that news.    CRUSHED.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit [/s][/b][/u][/i] at June 20, 2013 10:01 AM (4df7R)

312 Yeah the Presidents trip to the G8 summit has been gaffe filled. On the Biden scale I give him 4 out of 5 Bidens, he hasn't mocked a cripple or a jew....yet.

Posted by: Adam Smith's Invisible Pimp Hand at June 20, 2013 10:01 AM (b9K4P)

313 This is CNN. Benghazi? What difference does it make? Fast and Furious? Huh? IRS? They did their jobs, but may've make a mistake or two. James Rosen? He had it coming for revealing national secrets. AP? They should've been more selective on who they worked with. JAMES GANDOLFINI DIED!?!?!?!?! HOLY SHIT 24/7 Coverage, STAT!!!!!

Posted by: Gore Vidal at June 20, 2013 10:02 AM (xmcEQ)

314 302 Miss Marple,

You know the 60s and early 70s ma'am?

LSD is a helluva drug

Posted by: Esteban10077@sven10077 at June 20, 2013 10:02 AM (LRFds)

315 (Capt Picard didn't have any, by the looks of it, although he had 4 silvery buttons to something like that on what would have been his collar.) He did. He had the 4 pips or whatever you call them on his collar in the updated uniforms.

Posted by: EC at June 20, 2013 10:02 AM (GQ8sn)

316 AlextheChick, never knew this blog had so many carpet inspectors.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at June 20, 2013 10:02 AM (FRe+O)

317 what an adorable, funny post, Ace. thanks!

Posted by: L, elle at June 20, 2013 10:02 AM (0PiQ4)

318 312 Uncle Ben? Not my uncle. I was crushed the day I learned that news. CRUSHED. Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit at June 20, 2013 02:01 PM (4df7R) Also...not married to Aunt Jemima.

Posted by: Trelawney Hope at June 20, 2013 10:02 AM (PjUqy)

319 Captain Scarlet? He was probably someone's puppet.

Posted by: George Orwell in his cups at June 20, 2013 10:02 AM (xw77v)

320 What about George Takei admitting recently that his Facebook page is partially ghostwritten?  That sad and shocking news seems to have been overlooked in the flood of Obama administration scandals.

Posted by: Bud Norton at June 20, 2013 10:02 AM (6cOMd)

321 Had Bush gotten somebody's name wrong three times it would be a national hoo-ha and and SNL skit. A Dem does it, not worth reporting.

Posted by: SurferDoc at June 20, 2013 10:02 AM (F+av1)

322 AlextheChick, never knew this blog had so many carpet inspectors. Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at June 20, 2013 02:02 PM (FRe+O) The nobility of the Horde knows no bounds.

Posted by: alexthechick - Bring the SMOD at June 20, 2013 10:03 AM (VtjlW)

323 So while this thread is in last gasps. Anyone here recently try to fly in the US with an expired driver's license as the only form of govt. issued photo ID?

I'm asking for an idiot 20 year old.

Posted by: Tobacco Road at June 20, 2013 02:00 PM (4Mv1T)

>

>

>
>Geez, TR you are always busy aren't you?

Posted by: Misanthropic humanitarian at June 20, 2013 10:03 AM (HVff2)

324 No, TR, but a call ahead to the airline where he'll be checking in would be my first move. Depending on the country, you might want to make a call to their US customer support line yourself and ask if there's a procedure in place.

Posted by: lincolntf at June 20, 2013 10:03 AM (ZshNr)

325

Does anyone else ever wonder how often Sandra Lee gets asked for the recipes     to Sara Lee      pastries?   I bet it makes her eye twitch.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit [/s][/b][/u][/i] at June 20, 2013 10:03 AM (4df7R)

326 *hauls out traffic cones*


Okay, the line for those in the Horde who will now nobly volunteer to conduct an inspection to ascertain that truth of that assertion starts over there. Please maintain your position in line.

Posted by: alexthechick - Bring the SMOD at June 20, 2013 02:01 PM (VtjlW)

 

I'm ok with you checking as long as I get to watch.

Posted by: buzzion at June 20, 2013 10:03 AM (LI48c)

327 What rank is the little man in the boat? Posted by: Tami at June 20, 2013 02:00 PM (X6akg) Isn't the 'little man in the boat' the happy spot on a woman's va-jayjay? 2 Star General, then.

Posted by: © Sponge at June 20, 2013 10:03 AM (xmcEQ)

328 322 SurferDoc,

the media *is* the enemy and should be treated as such

Posted by: Esteban10077@sven10077 at June 20, 2013 10:04 AM (LRFds)

329 (Capt Picard didn't have any, by the looks of it, although he had 4 silvery buttons to something like that on what would have been his collar.)

I never did figure out why he wasn't stripped of his commission for leaving fucking Wesley in control of the bridge.

Posted by: HeatherRadish™ needs a beer at June 20, 2013 10:04 AM (ZKzrr)

330 What about George Takei admitting recently that his Facebook page is partially ghostwritten? Only the straight parts.

Posted by: James Tiberius Kirk at June 20, 2013 10:04 AM (xw77v)

331 AlextheChick, never knew this blog had so many carpet inspectors. It's a trap!!!

Posted by: Admiral Ackbar, Alliance Naval Reserve, Retired, Deceased at June 20, 2013 10:04 AM (zUi7I)

332 Uncle Ben? Not my uncle. I was crushed the day I learned that news. CRUSHED. Like losing a part of yourself, was it?

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at June 20, 2013 10:04 AM (/PCJa)

333 Osbourne? Didn't the bruthas do Rocky Top?

Posted by: Jinx the Cat at June 20, 2013 10:05 AM (l3vZN)

334
My popularity is undeniable, and Cap'n Crunch is an also-ran.. 

Posted by: Howdy Doody at June 20, 2013 10:05 AM (1lQzY)

335 Ohh, Plane Love was all
I needed to fall
Plane Love was there
With someone to share

Posted by: Pres**ent Barack “Unexpectedly” Obama at June 20, 2013 10:05 AM (e8kgV)

336 I fail to see how that's unfortunate.

Posted by: alexthechick - Bring the SMOD at June 20, 2013 01:57 PM (VtjlW)

Set out a plate of them, turn your back, discover that they disappeared, and you didn't get any.

That's unfortunate.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at June 20, 2013 10:05 AM (WW8xK)

337 Chock Full O'Nuts? Not a single one in there. Not one.

Posted by: George Orwell in his cups at June 20, 2013 10:05 AM (xw77v)

338 He had the 4 pips or whatever you call them on his collar in the updated uniforms. Posted by: EC at June 20, 2013 02:02 PM So, OK, what rank was Gladys Knight?

Posted by: LC LaWedgie at June 20, 2013 10:06 AM (2iU3x)

339 330 Ms Radish,

evidently as of ST-In Duh Darkness I am told Starfleet is not a "military organization"...maybe Jean Lucky was running an adult daycare center

Posted by: Esteban10077@sven10077 at June 20, 2013 10:06 AM (LRFds)

340 I have so much crap to do. Study for tests, develop lessons, call the doctor, call the AC guy, stop illegals form coming over the border, clean this pigsty up, and yet I cannot I tell tear myself away from this compelling thread.

Posted by: Guido at June 20, 2013 10:06 AM (8I9hB)

341 A couple of years ago I lost my wallet on a trip and had to fly back with no photo ID. The airlines have Procedures for that -- show up early, explain the problem, expect to get checked down extra-carefully by the TSA gropers.

Posted by: Trimegistus at June 20, 2013 10:06 AM (++9Rf)

342 The boat passes by and the boatmen call out,
"Pretty girls ride for free!"

But I'm no pretty girl and don't wish to be,
Just take my fare and let me be.

Posted by: SurferDoc at June 20, 2013 10:07 AM (F+av1)

343 Speaking of Fruit Loops....  Snooki hopes her son turns out gay.  He's only 9 months old.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at June 20, 2013 10:07 AM (FRe+O)

344 300 So while this thread is in last gasps. Anyone here recently try to fly in the US with an expired driver's license as the only form of govt. issued photo ID?

I'm asking for an idiot 20 year old.

Posted by: Tobacco Road at June 20, 2013 02:00 PM (4Mv1T)

Use their passport.

Posted by: caustic at June 20, 2013 10:07 AM (/b8+5)

345 Does anyone else ever wonder how often Sandra Lee gets asked for the recipes to Sara Lee pastries? I bet it makes her eye twitch. Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit at June 20, 2013 02:03 PM (4df7R) I must point out that you have violated Moron commenting conventions by mentioning Sandra Lee and not including a picture of the tree avec silver liger. You know, this one. http://bit.ly/WXmza3

Posted by: alexthechick - Bring the SMOD at June 20, 2013 10:07 AM (VtjlW)

346 @324, and 325.

TSA rules and the airlines say they "might" accept other forms of valid ID, like SS card, or birth certificate.  I told Road boy he'd need to get his DL renewed, first.

He's high maintenance he is. I have to gather all the FACTS, because my opinions mean exactly squat.

Thankfully his 16yo bro gives me exactly zero trouble. It's a "balanced approach".

Posted by: Tobacco Road at June 20, 2013 10:07 AM (4Mv1T)

347 Yeah Sci-fi always makes the assumption that the Navy will be in command of some sort of space fleet. While the obvious answer would be the Air Force, so no Admirals, Commanders, or Commodores.

Posted by: Adam Smith's Invisible Pimp Hand at June 20, 2013 10:07 AM (b9K4P)

348

Who outranks who ?

 

Corporal Punishment

 

General Concensus

 

or Major Garrett ?

Posted by: seamrog at June 20, 2013 10:08 AM (BfGnU)

349 Dow 230 and falling...

dive dive

Posted by: Esteban10077@sven10077 at June 20, 2013 10:08 AM (LRFds)

350 What rank is the little man in the boat?

Posted by: Tami at June 20, 2013 02:00 PM (X6akg)



The unknown soldier

Posted by: Captain Hate at June 20, 2013 10:08 AM (0Y/LU)

351

Posted by: Captain Hate at June 20, 2013 01:53 PM (0Y/LU)

 

That was HILARIOUS!

Posted by: Romeo13, Retired Inebriated Nautical Proffesional at June 20, 2013 10:09 AM (lZBBB)

352 I'm inclined that if you refer to someone by the wrong name three times in the same speech (and why didn't someone correct "Borat" Obama anyway?!) it may likely be passive aggressiveness? He really doesn't like the English.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at June 20, 2013 10:09 AM (87Uf9)

353 What country is he in?

Posted by: lincolntf at June 20, 2013 10:09 AM (ZshNr)

354

Uncle Ben?

Not my uncle.

I was crushed the day I learned that news. CRUSHED.

 

Not as crushed as I was when I found out Ma Bell wasn't my mom.



Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at June 20, 2013 10:09 AM (zF6Iw)

355 Another old white man, benefitting from the sytem. while brothers like me can't get ahead

Posted by: Boo Berry at June 20, 2013 10:09 AM (2cfUo)

356 Set out a plate of them, turn your back, discover that they disappeared, and you didn't get any. That's unfortunate. Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at June 20, 2013 02:05 PM (WW8xK) You spelled justifiable homicide wrong.

Posted by: alexthechick - Bring the SMOD at June 20, 2013 10:09 AM (VtjlW)

357 So, OK, what rank was Gladys Knight?

Posted by: LC LaWedgie at June 20, 2013 02:06 PM (2iU3x)

Conductor. ("Leavin' on a midnight train, whoo-Hoo!")

Posted by: SurferDoc at June 20, 2013 10:09 AM (F+av1)

358 354 LincolnTF,

President Ogabe?

The land of confusion

Posted by: Esteban10077@sven10077 at June 20, 2013 10:10 AM (LRFds)

359 355 MP4,

Luke...I am your mother....

Posted by: Esteban10077@sven10077 at June 20, 2013 10:10 AM (LRFds)

360 348 Yeah Sci-fi always makes the assumption that the Navy will be in command of some sort of space fleet. While the obvious answer would be the Air Force, so no Admirals, Commanders, or Commodores.  
 

Posted by: Adam Smith's Invisible Pimp Hand at June 20, 2013 02:07 PM (b9K4P)

 

They make that assumption because Water Navy's have evolved a set of rules to deal with long term voyages, with little to no outside contact...

 

Air Force rules are ill equipped for a Long Voyage.

Posted by: Romeo13, Retired Inebriated Nautical Proffesional at June 20, 2013 10:10 AM (lZBBB)

361 Posted by: alexthechick - Bring the SMOD at June 20, 2013 02:07 PM (VtjlW)

I am conflicted. As someone who takes cooking seriously, her fake food makes want to hurl. She also lives with one of the biggest cocksuckers on earth (Andrew Cuomo).

But she has rockin' boobs.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at June 20, 2013 10:11 AM (WW8xK)

362
Cap'n Crunch doesn't have friends like Peanut, Jose Jalapeno, and Achmed the Terrorist.

Posted by: Walter at June 20, 2013 10:11 AM (1lQzY)

363 281 Pavel Chekov was quoted as calling him "Keptin Karunch"

Posted by: RobM1981 at June 20, 2013 01:55 PM (XFKC+)


It was inwented in 1918 by a little old lady in Vladivostok .


Posted by: CaWest at June 20, 2013 10:11 AM (1Rgee)

364 Joining late (as usual).  I miss my Cap'n Crunch w/ Crunchberries.  Mmm Mmm.  I'm old now and if I bought a box, I'd get the evil eye from Mrs. Leghorn.

Posted by: Foghorn Leghorn at June 20, 2013 10:12 AM (EGPJQ)

365 A couple of years ago I lost my wallet on a trip and had to fly back with no photo ID. The airlines have Procedures for that -- show up early, explain the problem, expect to get checked down extra-carefully by the TSA gropers.
Posted by: Trimegistu
------------------------------------
That's how the rules read. But he'd fly from Logan next month and I'm sure those TSA folks aren't quite as a flexible as they might have been after the Brothers Karamazov were visited upon their fair city.

Plus oldest Road boy plays bass in a death metal band and is a tattoo artist apprentice, in addition to interning in a recording studio.

Imagine how that would go with those TSA goons.

Posted by: Tobacco Road at June 20, 2013 10:12 AM (4Mv1T)

366 But she has rockin' boobs.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at June 20, 2013 02:11 PM (WW8xK) -----

 

 

 

Aaannnnd I get sucked back in.

Posted by: Guido at June 20, 2013 10:13 AM (8I9hB)

367 Yeah Sci-fi always makes the assumption that the Navy will be in command of some sort of space fleet. While the obvious answer would be the Air Force, so no Admirals, Commanders, or Commodores.

Posted by: Adam Smith's Invisible Pimp Hand at June 20, 2013 02:07 PM (b9K4P)

The Navy has a big presence at Area 51. Or so they say.

Posted by: SurferDoc at June 20, 2013 10:13 AM (F+av1)

368 TR NC issues temporary letter when you renew. I did yesterday. That and your old license works. You don't have a passport?

Posted by: Billy Bob, pseudo intellectual at June 20, 2013 10:13 AM (CKNcG)

369 Speaking of Fruit Loops.... Snooki hopes her son turns out gay. He's only 9 months old.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at June 20, 2013 02:07 PM (FRe+O)


That's for obvious non gay rights reasons. She doesn't want him to be chased around by younger versions of herself.

Posted by: Adam Smith's Invisible Pimp Hand at June 20, 2013 10:14 AM (b9K4P)

370 I think she's really a blonde. As if that mattered. Posted by: George Orwell in his cups at June 20, 2013 01:59 PM (xw77v) She probably has linoleum floors.

Posted by: Ashley Judd's Puffy Scamper, aka MrCaniac at June 20, 2013 10:16 AM (BXLPR)

371 And I suddenly have this image of this cute little boy being chased by a mob of chibi-Snooki clones.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at June 20, 2013 10:16 AM (FRe+O)

372 BB- It's for my oldest boy and he's 8 states away at the moment. His license will expire a few weeks before he flies. I'll work it out. I was blowing off steam more than anything,  like this thread.

Posted by: Tobacco Road at June 20, 2013 10:16 AM (4Mv1T)

373 Imagine how that would go with those TSA goons. I don't think the TSA would mind that at all as long as they didn't know he didn't vote for Obama-if indeed he did not.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at June 20, 2013 10:17 AM (87Uf9)

374

I flew out of Logan a couple years ago without my ID (left it at home). I was just pulled aside by TSA and asked a couple questions---some biographical, a couple about my neighbors, nothing too crazy. 'Course, I'm about as white-bread as they come, so YMMV.

Posted by: Armando at June 20, 2013 10:18 AM (5iuEW)

375 Fenelon- I had an absentee ballot sent to him. I can look at his voter registration, and he didn't vote.

Posted by: Tobacco Road at June 20, 2013 10:18 AM (4Mv1T)

376 Loved Capn Crunch as s kid. Especially crunchberries.

Posted by: Y-not still has all her teeth at June 20, 2013 10:18 AM (nq+Ye)

377 Arrest imminent according to one of my diehard Pats fan friends. The websites/blogs are in full OJ mode.

Posted by: lincolntf at June 20, 2013 10:19 AM (ZshNr)

378 I remember pouring myself a bowl of Crunchberries one time, then left the room for some reason. When I came back, my younger brother had eaten all the f'ing Crunchberries. It was particularly disappointing because I was hungover something awful.

Posted by: jakeman at June 20, 2013 10:19 AM (96M6e)

379 The unknown soldier Ahhh... Captain Hate you magnificent bastage ICWYDT

Posted by: eleven at June 20, 2013 10:21 AM (KXm42)

380 >"" 'You are correct that Cap'n Crunch appears to be wearing the rank of a U.S. Navy commander,' Lt. Cmdr. Sarah Flaherty, a U.S. Navy spokeswoman, tells Foreign Policy. 'Oddly, our personnel records do not show a "Cap'n Crunch" who currently serves or has served in the Navy.' "

How very convenient. Next you'll be telling us that there was never a "Captain Midnight", a "Sgt. Rock" or the "Boy Commandos" who served in the armed forces either. 


Posted by: Commissioner Gordon at June 20, 2013 10:22 AM (Q1DS+)

381 Imagine how that would go with those TSA goons.

Posted by: Tobacco Road at June 20, 2013 02:12 PM (4Mv1T)

He has a month, just go to Motor Vehicle and renew the license. 

Posted by: caustic at June 20, 2013 10:22 AM (/b8+5)

382 Did anyone else crush down Capt. Crunch to get more in the bowl, or was I just a greedy bastard who destroyed the whole crunch thing?

Posted by: Guido at June 20, 2013 10:22 AM (8I9hB)

383 I flew out of Logan a day after the bombings. It didn't take me that long, but yeah all the questions by the TSA were pretty annoying. Just sitting there in line with no shoes on, no belt, being asked a bunch of ridiculous questions. Where are you flying to? You live in California? Why were you in Boston? Oh did your race go well? Are you here with anyone? What's your profession? Where did you stay in Boston? Sir are you a Laker's fan? Sir why do you look nervous?

Posted by: Adam Smith's Invisible Pimp Hand at June 20, 2013 10:23 AM (b9K4P)

384 I'm thought he was already stranded somewhere. Cripes, of course get it renewed.

Posted by: lincolntf at June 20, 2013 10:23 AM (ZshNr)

385 Fuck each and every one of you.

And you can suck my Crunch Berries while you're at it.

Posted by: Commander Crunch at June 20, 2013 10:24 AM (Hx2XA)

386 I knew it!  I always fucking knew it!

Posted by: Jean LaFoote at June 20, 2013 10:25 AM (Hx2XA)

387 Ace said: I can't find any citation to back up my belief that "commodore" serves as a rank of convenience to avoid a Two Captains on One Ship problem. Maybe Heinlein made that up, or maybe I'm just misremembering.

That was the case in the crew of the Space Shuttle. Commander and Pilot. The distinction was somewhat arbitrary: elevating a co-pilot function to the superior rank and making him leader and jack-of-all-trades back-up.

Posted by: Uriah Heep at June 20, 2013 10:25 AM (jhI6f)

388

Sir are you a Laker's fan? Sir why do you look nervous?

Posted by: Adam Smith's Invisible Pimp Hand at June 20, 2013 02:23 PM (b9K4P) ----------------

 

 

 

Aha!!! Gotcha!!!!!!

Posted by: Guido at June 20, 2013 10:26 AM (8I9hB)

389 He has a month, just go to Motor Vehicle and renew the license.
Posted by: caustic
------------------------
He's in school eight states away from here where he is licensed. Logistical issues.

Posted by: Tobacco Road at June 20, 2013 10:28 AM (4Mv1T)

390 Marine/Army/Air Force O-3s (Captains) are all addressed as Major when on board a US Navy ship.  Ships have only one Captain regardless of the silver/gold on the collar.

And yes, any large space fleet we ever build will be organized on naval precepts.

Posted by: Captain Ned at June 20, 2013 10:29 AM (i+Fm3)

391 "I can't find any citation to back up my belief that "commodore" serves as a rank of convenience to avoid a Two Captains on One Ship problem. Maybe Heinlein made that up, or maybe I'm just misremembering."

Never heard of it. There is "Flag Captain", but that won't do.

Might have been somewhere else in the comments, but a modern CVN has multiple Captains:
Ship (under Battlegroup Admiral)
Airwing (under Battlegroup Admiral)
Reactor (under Ship CO)
Engineering? (under Ship CO)
Medical (Ship CO)



Posted by: Mr. Happy-Ounce of Prevention, Pound of Cure at June 20, 2013 10:42 AM (Hfjmb)

392 I actually do all the work.

Posted by: CPO Crunch at June 20, 2013 10:42 AM (VWfCN)

393 TR call DMV Raleigh, or better yet get your republican rep to call them. My bet they will issue him a 20 day letter. 919 733 4111. Gen assembly number. Don t ask how I know.

Posted by: Billy Bob, pseudo intellectual at June 20, 2013 10:45 AM (CKNcG)

394   130  And what about Sergeant Shriver?
*
*
I knew him when he was just a private.

Posted by: Zombie John Kennedy at June 20, 2013 10:50 AM (BDU/a)

395 Thanks BB-

Posted by: Tobacco Road at June 20, 2013 10:50 AM (4Mv1T)

396 Ace, I don't remember Heinlein addressing the use of "Commodore" in _Starship Troopers_. What I do remember is that there was the Navy, and there was the Army (of which the Mobile Infantry was part). The narrator said that any Army person with rank of Captain was always addressed by Navy staff as "Major" while aboard a ship, so there wouldn't ever be any confusion between some Army Captain and the ship's Captain.

Posted by: mr_jack at June 20, 2013 10:53 AM (TMG3G)

397 Well this is embarrassing

Posted by: cap'n crunch at June 20, 2013 10:53 AM (n8PiB)

398 Don't bother looking into my past.

Posted by: Mr. Whipple at June 20, 2013 10:55 AM (BDU/a)

399 And Mrs. Freshley ain't.  Trust me on this.

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius at June 20, 2013 10:59 AM (BDU/a)

400 Colonel Sanders wasn't really a colonel.

Posted by: Lucky Pierre at June 20, 2013 11:15 AM (5fSr7)

401 Re. the commodore thing, if it isn't beaten to death: As I recall it, the character in "Starship Troopers" was referring to an *informal* (but invariable) Space Navy custom (which, I assume, was the custom of the US Navy, at least when Heinlein served in it in the 30s). By that custom, if a captain-by-rank happened to be on board a ship he didn't command, sailors would refer to him as "commodore". That wasn't actually his rank, and in some navies that rank had a different formal use (and other navies have no such rank), it was just what the sailors called him. Similarly, a captain of the marines (or in the book, the "mobile infantry") would be addressed as "major". It's quite likely the custom has changed or even lapsed in the US Navy. Even in the book, the marines didn't follow the custom, which they regarded as silly (it notes that they just avoided using their captain's rank when around sailors, and called him "captain" when they were alone). In any event, since this seemed to be an informal custom, it'll probably be hard to find official support for it. Just in case you care...

Posted by: Andrew Solovay at June 20, 2013 11:22 AM (JVRVS)

402 Wonder if Obama saw a joo in Germany?

Posted by: YIKES! at June 20, 2013 11:36 AM (mETGQ)

403 Wrong tread.

Posted by: YIKES! at June 20, 2013 11:37 AM (mETGQ)

404

Ace: *I want the truth!*

Capn Crunch: *You can't handle the truth!*

[pauses]

Capn Crunch: Son, we live in a world that has bowls, and those bowls have to be filled with delicious cereal. Who's gonna do it? You? I have a greater responsibility than you could possibly fathom. You weep on an empty stomach and curse Capn Crunch. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know. That delicious breakfast saves lives. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves lives. You don't want the truth because deep down in places you don't talk about at parties, you want me in that bowl, you need me in that bowl. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very breakfast that I provide, and then questions the manner in which I provide it. I would rather you just said thank you, and went on your way, Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a spoon, and start eating. Either way, I don't give a damn what you think you are entitled to.

Posted by: Ace at June 20, 2013 11:46 AM (jsPgy)

405 I graduated from the Navy in 1987 and if I remember right, the Captain(s) that is(are) not the skipper would be addressed as Captain (Last name). The skipper would be addressed as captain.

Posted by: KellyFromMesquite at June 20, 2013 11:56 AM (ELMcf)

406 You said "seaman."

SNORT.

Posted by: Adjoran at June 20, 2013 11:59 AM (473jB)

407 Who has greater rank? The Cap'n on The Crunch? Or, the Skipper on Gilligan's Island?

Pfft! Whomever's on Marianne!

Posted by: KellyFromMesquite at June 20, 2013 12:05 PM (ELMcf)

408 Ace, thank you for this. (smiles)

Posted by: Rosalie at June 20, 2013 12:06 PM (TCqhy)

409 However, there was a Captain Marvel.

SHAZAM!

Posted by: Gov Weenie at June 20, 2013 12:12 PM (B/weO)

410 Pretty sure all submarine captains are Commanders (O-5) and not full-bird O-6 Captains

Posted by: ketos at June 20, 2013 12:35 PM (x3wXD)

411 A lot of info that is almost right regarding "Commodore."  Much of the confusion is because the Navy has used "Commodore" as both an official rank - 1 star (O-7) flag rank and a title for a captain who commands more than one ship, like a DesRon (destroyer squadron).

Up until the mid 1800's it was a title for a person, usually a captain, commanding more than 1 ship.  Then it became an official flag rank for 1 stars.  However, in 1899 the Navy stopped using it as an official command rank and it reverted to a title.  During WW II they brought the rank of commodore back as a 1 star temporary flag rank, but at the end of WWII stopped promoting people to it and by 1950 there were no longer any 1 star commodores, and it was a again used as a title for a person commanding a squadron of ships.  This allowed the Navy to promote from Captain (0-6) directly to rear admiral (O- - a 2 star flag rank while skipping the 1 star rank (0-7). 

The Navy's O-6 to O-8 promotion did not (understandably) sit will with the other services who had to promote to brigadier general - a 1 star 0-7 rank before getting to the 2nd star and O-8 (Major General).  As a result in 1982 DOPMA brought back the "Commodore Admiral" rank as a 1 star O-7 flag rank (general rank).  However, that caused a lot of confusion in the Nav (I was a Navy Pilot then) because captains who commanded a squadron of ships were also "Commodores" but not Commodore Admirals.  So they changed "Commodore Admiral" to Rear Admiral lower half in 1983. 

As for titles used for commanding officers, the Marine was partially correct - the commanding officer of a "boat" is called a skipper regardless of his rank, but the term "boat" in the Nav is used for submarine - so a submarine CO is called a skipper, as is the CO of an aviation squadron (as opposed to a ship squadron such as a Destroyer Squadron which is commanded by a commodore who is, or at least was often a captain).  However, the CO's of ships (destroyers, cruisers, minesweepers, oilers, aircraft carriers etc) are called Captain regardless of their rank.  If you do not believe this, deploy as a Naval aviation officer and helo pilot on a destroyer and call the CO "skipper."  I can assure you from experence that the conversation that follows is usually one way and often less than friendly.  They really take that "captain" thing seriously.


Posted by: Mike at June 20, 2013 01:06 PM (z+6cs)

412

 

Not unusual on board a ship to call the senior officer "Captain" and/or Skipper.  Most old WWII subs had LCDR's as Captains. 

 

Those on land stations who were senior, were referred to by their actual

rank, mostly "Mr" if rank under CDR.  The jarhead way up there is wrong.

Posted by: old salt at June 20, 2013 02:03 PM (EZjmq)

413 During a Team Spirit deployment back in 1982, my company Commander held the rank of Captain. He gushed about his promotion to "Major" when on the naval ship carrying our equipment. This is because the ship was allowed only 1 Captain as he related to us on advance party.

Needless to say, he spent most of his time on the ship during offloading just to be called Major and not Captain.

Posted by: Gunsmoke at June 20, 2013 03:17 PM (HJMfC)

414 405 Umm..can I quote that some day? Sounded kinda good.

Posted by: Nobody in particular at June 20, 2013 03:37 PM (LNmYT)

415 Besides subs, aren't PT Boats "boats". I have this on good authority - Captain McHale's crew referred to him as "Skipper".

Posted by: Gromulin at June 20, 2013 03:37 PM (SNjPs)

416 "Boats" are carried on ships.

Posted by: Auntie M at June 20, 2013 03:52 PM (B/weO)

417

Comment 412 pretty much has it nailed as far as the current and past useage of commodore, captain, and skipper.

The modern Navy keeps trying to get oldtimers (like me) to call submarines "ships".

They're boats, regardless of their displacement.

And the differences between subamrines and other vessels? All ships and boats eventually sink, only submarines are designed to come back up...

Posted by: gospace at June 20, 2013 04:25 PM (mkqcx)

418 391

The Navy Lt I'm on duty with has never heard of addressing a sister service O-3 as "Major" while assigned to or serving aboard a ship.  Just sayin'.

Posted by: Brennan at June 20, 2013 05:13 PM (lyiO3)

419 Even a Lieuteneant can be a "Captain" if they are the commanding officer of a ship.

Posted by: David at June 21, 2013 05:30 AM (bPJIa)

420

The real submarine Commanding Officers are O-5 rank.  Those other COs on immitation submarines (aka boomers) are O-6s.

 

fwiw, the second CO on my boat was knicked The Dread Pirate Robert (no -s); a somewhat small man with a napoleon complex but hot damn if he couldn't run a ship in fine order.  He was an asshole and challenging to work under but a good kind of asshole: if you didn't 'prove' yourself he always stayed an asshole to you, so during his command the cream of the crop rose and the detrius stayed put.  He relieved our Engineer (O-4, #3 in chain of command just under the XO) for cause.

Posted by: blogRot at June 21, 2013 06:58 AM (A6JXc)

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