Ace of Spades HQ

October 07, 2013

— Ace

So, these two college girls discovered there was a lucrative subgenre of erotica called "monster erotica," where women are, um, raped by dragons and stuff, and so they started writing that kind of book.

I did some research and found that a subgenre called Â“monster eroticaÂ” was starting to get popular. So I decided to write stories that contained monsters that were staples, or at least what I thought were staples, of the genre: shifters (werewolf), tentacle monsters (it was only later I found out shifters werenÂ’t considered Â“monstersÂ”). I wrote a lot of dragon-erotica stories, BBW romance, a few other things. But after a few months of writing about dragons having their way with busty maidens, I started getting burned out.

So, you turned to more literary ventures, involving less rape and fewer reptilians?

No. Quite the opposite.

I toyed with the idea of quitting and going back to work. But one day, I was walking and I thought about the movie Jurassic Park. My perverse mind immediately went to my work, and I pictured dinosaurs having their way with women. I died laughing. I was about to dismiss these thoughts as the workings of my freaky mind, but then I had an epiphany. Dinosaur erotica was something new that IÂ’d never tried before.
I sat down the next week and wrote my first dinosaur story. I showed my story to Christie and we worked together to smooth out the prose. She liked it, and since then she and I have been writing dinosaur-erotica stories, among our other fiction. And that is how we became the dynamic duo of monster porn!

Is this real?

Yes. It's all too real.

Great, great interview with Justice Scalia at NY Mag, too. He discusses religion, and his belief in the Devil, on page 4. The whole thing's interesting.

Our Genius President has a brilliant new rhetorical tactic in the shutdown fight: calling Boehner a chicken for not holding a vote on a clean CR.

Even more wonderful: George Lucas talks to JJ Abrams almost every day about the new Star Wars, offering him lots of story and script advice.

I hope this is just attempting to manage an idiot. The Star Trek people had to do the same thing with Gene Roddenberry while they were scripting Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan, which Roddenberry hated. He insisted, for example, that Star Trek was not a "paramilitary" show, so the Naval theme of the movie had no place in the Star Trek legend. (What?) And that Spock could not die. (Roddenberry even attempted to sabotage that element by leaking it.)

Roddenberry insisted on the one Dumb Plotline he had been pitching for years: that the Enterprise go back in time to save JFK from the assassination in Dallas 1963. Oh yeah, that would be a great (and not at all weird and uncomfortable) movie.

All this dirt is revealed in Shatner's very readable "Star Trek Movie Memories."

Jay Carney is willing to tell you about the number of people who visited the 404Care website but insists that he must observe Official Longstanding Protocol I Just Made Up that numbers about actual enrollees can only be reported on a month-to-month basis.

And now, some strange animal duos. I saw a bit of a show called Unlikely Animal Friends last night. I saw the end bit, in which a panther named Paul was best friends with a rabbit named Lily. And a lynx was best friends with a deer.

This isn't that show, but it's got some similar stories. The first one is just preview best-of for those who don't want to spend a full hour watching Animal Best Fweindsies videos.

Additional parts here (2), here (3), here (4), here (5), and here (6).

Posted by: Ace at 04:19 PM | Comments (257)
Post contains 636 words, total size 5 kb.

1 No!!

Posted by: NCKate at October 07, 2013 04:20 PM (tlIcr)

2 are we there yet?

Posted by: hellbound handbasket at October 07, 2013 04:21 PM (5ikDv)

3 No stories about how the new polls out today have taken a sharp turn against the GOP and towards Obama? Both ABC/Wash Post and Pew came out with new surveys tonight, and each is disastrous for the Republicans. But, I know, the polls have skewed samples, lol.

Posted by: Greg at October 07, 2013 04:22 PM (zP4Id)

4 Women are idiots. They read such crap.

Posted by: NCKate at October 07, 2013 04:22 PM (tlIcr)

5 Um...who is their audience for monster porn? That's just weird.

Posted by: Lizzy at October 07, 2013 04:22 PM (JRmiD)

6 Fifty Shades of Gargoyle.

Posted by: J. K. Rowling at October 07, 2013 04:23 PM (/1ATA)

7 I get it. I get it.

Posted by: Dracula's Three Vampire Wives at October 07, 2013 04:23 PM (/IWYB)

8 What the hell with the trolls lately?

Posted by: NCKate at October 07, 2013 04:23 PM (tlIcr)

9 We need Troll Porn.

Posted by: NCKate at October 07, 2013 04:23 PM (tlIcr)

10 Dinosaur rape??? Would throwing up or pissing yourself work on them?

Posted by: EC at October 07, 2013 04:24 PM (nkuLy)

11 Rule 34 makes it to the "literary world". If it walks, hops, swims, or crawls, eff it.

Posted by: bonhomme at October 07, 2013 04:24 PM (yETln)

12 AoSHQ,

Come for the Dennehey, stay for the Dino-Porn

Posted by: Sven10077 at October 07, 2013 04:24 PM (9jfyN)

13 greg,

there's a great story I meant to cover called "Greg Just Got Banned." Check it out, it's a pretty good one!

by the way, I can tell how upset you gaywads are by how agitated you are in your trolling.

Posted by: ace at October 07, 2013 04:25 PM (/IWYB)

14 I love riding skewed poles...

Posted by: Gergle at October 07, 2013 04:25 PM (5ikDv)

15 The one on the left looks like Hillary

Posted by: Bill from Chappaqua at October 07, 2013 04:26 PM (Pr6hk)

16 I wonder what Obama is gonna do with his new boss Chicom on his ass alike a horney T-Rex.

Posted by: maddogg at October 07, 2013 04:26 PM (i5IoF)

17 We need Troll Porn. Three billygoats rough?

Posted by: bonhomme at October 07, 2013 04:26 PM (yETln)

18 Taken By The Troll.

Posted by: EC at October 07, 2013 04:27 PM (nkuLy)

19 Dinorotica. Great. Ladies, it's official, yer all craycray.

Posted by: Brother Cavil and his Flying Toaster Circus at October 07, 2013 04:27 PM (m9V0o)

20 Who the ckuf fantasizes about being taken by a dinosaur?!

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at October 07, 2013 04:28 PM (DmNpO)

21 Gang Banged By The Gerg.

Posted by: EC at October 07, 2013 04:28 PM (nkuLy)

22 16 bonhomme,

Dear Forum I grok it could never happen to me...

I wuz hiding under the bridge when I heard....

Posted by: Sven10077 at October 07, 2013 04:28 PM (9jfyN)

23 Jay Carney is willing to tell you about the number of people who visited the 404Care website but insists that he must observe Official Longstanding Protocol I Just Made Up that numbers about actual enrollees can only be reported on a month-to-month basis. No I can't let you examine it. You might steal my idea. Just give me your money.

Posted by: Conmen Since the Beginning of Time at October 07, 2013 04:28 PM (yETln)

Pterodactyl Rape?

Really.

Posted by: garrett at October 07, 2013 04:28 PM (t57/N)

25 Jurassic or Mine: Sex in Dino-City

Posted by: weft cut-loop [/i] [/b] at October 07, 2013 04:29 PM (WxDmr)

26 So what would the world be like today if the Enterprise had saved JFK?

Posted by: Bertram Cabot Jr. at October 07, 2013 04:29 PM (E0/Ok)

27 Ya know? I just fucking hate the world most days. And that's just my response to the George Lucas article. I don't want to even think about the dinorape porno shit.

Posted by: Inspector Asshole at October 07, 2013 04:29 PM (fG1xu)

28 I fantasize about hunting T-rexes. Not about field dressing them though.

Posted by: maddogg at October 07, 2013 04:29 PM (i5IoF)

29 wanna pet my T-rexshion???

Posted by: Tony Weiner at October 07, 2013 04:29 PM (Pr6hk)

30 On multiple occasions I've had lefty chicks, and some dudes, get angry at me when I point out that vampires are popular because they are very thinly veiled rape fantasies. Is it official feminist ideology that chicks don't have rape fantasies? That it's some sort of unpossible thing invented by the patriarchy? That it's a myth? Cause there sure seems to be a lot of rape fantasy erotica that pretty much only women buy.

Posted by: Flatbush Joe at October 07, 2013 04:29 PM (ZPrif)

31 Dino porn is just the logical development of furry fantasies (serious). I didn't go to the Folsom Street Fair this year, but if I had, Im quote sure I would have seen Dino fetish furry outfits. I guess they wouldn't count as "furries" -- how about "scalies"? Last year there were many repulsive perverts in My Little Pony getups. Whatever is trendy in culture immediate gets reflected in SF's sex subculture.

Posted by: zombie at October 07, 2013 04:29 PM (+cx5n)

32 First video is blocked.

Posted by: steevy at October 07, 2013 04:29 PM (9XBK2)

33 A dinosaur will definitely make your coochysaur.

Posted by: Mr. Feverhead at October 07, 2013 04:29 PM (SzAZ7)

34 Im quote sure = I'm quite sure

Posted by: zombie at October 07, 2013 04:30 PM (+cx5n)

35 Ladies, it's official, yer all craycray.

Posted by: Brother Cavil and his Flying Toaster Circus at October 07, 2013 08:27 PM (m9V0o)

=====

Don't look at me darlin', I don't read that shit. Then again, I may not qualify for that "Ladies" tag either. Grandma used to tell me that ladies do NOT swear.

Posted by: madamemayhem at October 07, 2013 04:30 PM (S2RnE)

36 Get your paws off of me you dirty ape

Posted by: Charleton Heston at October 07, 2013 04:31 PM (Pr6hk)

37 They get famous, they get lazy, they get (allegedly) cocaine, they get crazy, they get canned, they get legendary, they get Jar Jar

friends don't let sci-fi writer friends cash paychecks

Posted by: Sven10077 at October 07, 2013 04:31 PM (9jfyN)

38 Gerg has been furloughed from his government gloryhole.

Posted by: maddogg at October 07, 2013 04:31 PM (i5IoF)

39 Well, since lizards and other animals tend to be, shall we say, under-endowed, that probably wouldn't be a major issue. In fact, it is debatable whether dinosaurs even had penii http://cloacalkiss.blogspot.com/2008/02/did-trex-have-penis.html So it would be more like lesbian-type reptilian scissoring, which is alternately grotesque or hot, depending on your disposition to alternative sexual activities. I'm leaning toward disgusting, meself.

Posted by: imp at October 07, 2013 04:32 PM (L9AnB)

40 my recollection is that triceratops was like a rhinoceros only bigger.

I shall write a book like this. I shall call it "Raped by Gibraltar". Or maybe "I did it with the Washington Monument" by Andrew Sullivan. Ewwww.

I just looked at the picture again. Isn't Sims some sort of "create your own world" software program?

Wait... I get it, the picture, it's Mini Me in a Halloween costume.

Posted by: mallfly at October 07, 2013 04:32 PM (bJm7W)

41 *vomit*

Hey, I don't blame the writers. They're just giving these insane women readers what they want. No wonder so many women are fucked up...they like shit like this.

Posted by: DangerGirl, home sweet home at October 07, 2013 04:32 PM (GrtrJ)

42 Pretty sure what JJ Abrams will do is going to be bad enough even if he ignores Lucas.

Posted by: steevy at October 07, 2013 04:32 PM (9XBK2)

43 It wasn't, like, promoting rape fantasies as a good thing. It was just in casual conversation about pop culture and how popular vampires were and how long-lasting the popularity was, when I made my -- well, it's obviously just a socially acceptable way to enjoy a thinly veiled rape fantasy. Didn't think I was saying anything controversial. Especially didn't expect the lefty chicks to get angry at me for pointing that out.

Posted by: Flatbush Joe at October 07, 2013 04:32 PM (ZPrif)

44 30 Whatever is trendy in culture immediate gets reflected in SF's sex subculture.
Posted by: zombie at October 07, 2013 08:29 PM (+cx5n)
Are there giant I-phones having sex out there?

Posted by: Bertram Cabot Jr. at October 07, 2013 04:32 PM (E0/Ok)

45 Reptile penises are actually quite small, compared to body size. We don't know how well-hung dinosaurs were, but they likely had pretty dinky peckers. (At least as a percentage of overall body size). Mammals are the kings of big dicks. No other branch of the animal kingdom comes close when it comes to penis-length/body-length ratios.

Posted by: zombie at October 07, 2013 04:32 PM (+cx5n)

46 Dinosaur Rape??? You mean what we're doing to your 'constitution'?

Posted by: Eric The Chinless at October 07, 2013 04:33 PM (Pr6hk)

47 Gerg has been furloughed from his government gloryhole. ------- Yes but I'm volunteering at the local 7-11

Posted by: The Gerg at October 07, 2013 04:33 PM (Aif/5)

48 Next up, federal legislative porn.

"Cornholed Without Lube By The Affordable Care Act".

Posted by: torquewrench at October 07, 2013 04:33 PM (gqT4g)

49 40 DangerGirl,

Well there's were-wolf porn, Vampire Porn, Elf Princess getting raped by ther orc porn, God only knows...

try getting a good cherry pie recipe off the nook

Posted by: Sven10077 at October 07, 2013 04:33 PM (9jfyN)

50 this is kind of meaningful:
http://media.247sports.com/Uploads/Assets/130/471/471130.jpg

Posted by: mallfly at October 07, 2013 04:33 PM (bJm7W)

51 "On multiple occasions I've had lefty chicks, and some dudes, get angry at me when I point out that vampires are popular because they are very thinly veiled rape fantasies.

Cause there sure seems to be a lot of rape fantasy erotica that pretty much only women buy."

Posted by: Flatbush Joe

Vampires are the ultimate "zipless fuck", according to Stephen King (who's a douchebag, but that's beside the point.) It's sex without actual penetration, so "good" girls can enjoy it, too.

Posted by: Hobbitopoly at October 07, 2013 04:34 PM (080XV)

52 So it would be more like lesbian-type reptilian scissoring *tries to put an image to that sentence*

Posted by: EC at October 07, 2013 04:34 PM (nkuLy)

53 Come here my big brontosaurus

Posted by: Sandra Fluke at October 07, 2013 04:34 PM (Pr6hk)

54 Niedermeyer, 19 Who the ckuf fantasizes about being taken by a dinosaur?! Jet pilots.

Posted by: exhelodrvr at October 07, 2013 04:34 PM (edmTQ)

55 44 I find you knowledge of this subject....disturbing.

Posted by: steevy at October 07, 2013 04:34 PM (9XBK2)

56 Yikes, because extinct reptilian dong in no way, shape, or form resembles the barbed cock of Satan.

Posted by: Fritz at October 07, 2013 04:35 PM (x2W/k)

57 lol. Top comment on the Scalia article is one talking about no "scientific" evidence for god. /facepalm

Posted by: ConservativeMonster at October 07, 2013 04:35 PM (0wHyk)

58 Gerg is my partner! We already insured ourselves and our donkeyspouse Barney.

Posted by: Chad Henderson at October 07, 2013 04:35 PM (sOtz/)

59 I'm lonely.

Posted by: Chad "Call Me Chelsea" Henderson, Part Time Day Care Worket at October 07, 2013 04:35 PM (x/lJo)

60 51 EC,

Here's your image.....

Whoopie Goldberg Loves Orca on Da Color Purple...

you're welcome....

Posted by: Sven10077 at October 07, 2013 04:35 PM (9jfyN)

61 I'm down for the Toronto Raptors.

Posted by: Sandra Fluke at October 07, 2013 04:35 PM (mmGbS)

62 "Mammals are the kings of big dicks. No other branch of the animal kingdom comes close when it comes to penis-length/body-length ratios.

Posted by: zombie at October 07, 2013 08:32 PM (+cx5n)"

What really kills me is that it seems the smaller the mamal, the greater the percentage of body their whanger is. Example: Squirrels and small dogs. Both have huge peni for their body size.

Posted by: maddogg at October 07, 2013 04:35 PM (i5IoF)

63 Isn't this, "Boffed in the pooter by a T-Rex" , an Andrew Sullivan fantasy?

Posted by: Dept. Of Acuracy at October 07, 2013 04:36 PM (MhA4j)

64 'All dinosaurs used the same basic position to mate,' said Dr Beverly Halstead, an English researcher who was one of the first to tackle the subject. 'Mounting from the rear, he put his forelimbs on her shoulders, lifting one hind limb across her back and twisting his tail under hers.'

http://tinyurl.com/ccb79qk

Posted by: projectile vomiting at October 07, 2013 04:36 PM (5ikDv)

65 and there is this (take out spaces as needed):

http://www.eonline.com/eol_images/
Entire_Site/201392/
rs_560x267-131002124826-1024.taken-dinosaurs.cm.10213_copy.jpg

Posted by: mallfly at October 07, 2013 04:36 PM (bJm7W)

66
Next up, federal legislative porn.
Posted by: torquewrench

"Filibustered by Desire."

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at October 07, 2013 04:36 PM (kdS6q)

67 JJ Abrams is also an idiot, though. His Star Trek movies are kinda lousy. And it's not like he didn't have, oh, a whole storied Star Trek Universe to work with. In his first movie, he already jumped the shark with time travel! You save the time travel crap when you run outta ideas. What's more, he gave us 2 Spoks! Seriously, JJ, you couldn't think of anything original so you gave us an old Leonard Nimoy for old time's sake? To top it off, Abrams blows up Vulcan. WTF? That's just Stupid.

Posted by: slippery when soothsayer at October 07, 2013 04:36 PM (g3/1j)

68 63 projectile vomiting,

Ah we call that "Clinton Style"

Posted by: Sven10077 at October 07, 2013 04:36 PM (9jfyN)

69 In a multi-topic post that mentions a Supreme Court justice, cute animals, science fiction, politics, and...dinosaur dicks, well you can guarantee which topic has taken up 99% of the comments. Priorities, priorities!

Posted by: zombie at October 07, 2013 04:37 PM (+cx5n)

70 63 'All dinosaurs used the same basic position to mate,' said Dr Beverly Halstead, an English researcher who was one of the first to tackle the subject. 'Mounting from the rear, he put his forelimbs on her shoulders, lifting one hind limb across her back and twisting his tail under hers.' "Honey, lets do it dinosaur style!"

Posted by: EC at October 07, 2013 04:37 PM (nkuLy)

71 > Top comment on the Scalia article is one talking about no "scientific" evidence for god. /facepalm

well, if God created science, He can also exempt himself from its restrictions

Posted by: Jones in CO at October 07, 2013 04:37 PM (8sCoq)

72 So this will be translated into Japanese in 5... 4... 3...

Posted by: The Chicken at October 07, 2013 04:37 PM (Pr6hk)

73 Troll Tentacle Pr0n. Might beat the dinosaur pr0n. Then again has anyone really topped Catherine the Great and her trysts with horses? Or Napoleon III's wife who had a lover with such a member it almost split her apart?

Here is the stuff Amazon Studios has paid money for to become series.
http://studios.amazon.com/development-slate/series

Some is utter clap-trap. And still got $10k.

Shatner was not too happy with the The Wrath of Khan script either because it shows Kirk getting old and such. But they managed to talk him around to it and the rest is film history. TMP script is credited to Alan Dean Foster but he based that movie script on a Roddenberry script idea for Phase II called In Thy Image. Which leads one to wonder if the Great Bird had forgotten that he had already done an episode called Changeling about an Earth probe merging with an alien probe that turned it into a galactic doomsday weapon that killed and resurrected Scotty and erased all of Uhura's memories.

Later tonight on TCM they will show Throne of Blood. Which will be a good thing as I revise the finished second script I am pitching to Amazon Studios. I want to get paid $10k also.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at October 07, 2013 04:37 PM (A2SA7)

74 I'd squeeze that chick's tits but my arms are too short.

Posted by: A T. Rex at October 07, 2013 04:37 PM (8ZskC)

75 Next up, federal legislative porn. Posted by: torquewrench at October 07, 2013 08:33 PM (gqT4g) Check out Barbara Boxer's novel. There's a love scene in it.

Posted by: Vendette at October 07, 2013 04:37 PM (DAT/U)

76 "Our Genius President has a brilliant new rhetorical tactic in the shutdown fight: calling Boehner a chicken for not holding a vote on a clean CR." Up next, the controversial use of the legislative maneuver known as the "double dog dare." Will Boehner take the bait? News at 5.

Posted by: LizLem, giving Obamabots the eyeroll at October 07, 2013 04:38 PM (8wqqE)

77 RodZilla!!

Posted by: exhelodrvr at October 07, 2013 04:38 PM (edmTQ)

78 I'm pretty sure Wilma was getting some on the side from Dino. Poor Fred.

Posted by: JackStraw at October 07, 2013 04:38 PM (g1DWB)

79 Now tell me that T-rex had a marvelous crease in his pants

/fap fap fap

Posted by: David Brooks at October 07, 2013 04:38 PM (Pr6hk)

80 74 Vendette,

Is that the rape scene with Lady Liberty atop the Bill of Rights?

Posted by: Sven10077 at October 07, 2013 04:38 PM (9jfyN)

81

"Not the Mama!"

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at October 07, 2013 04:38 PM (kdS6q)

82 and of course there's this (again, take out the spaces) :
http://d3ny4pswk2x1ig. cloudfront.net/ 34eb16e95fdd29fbd6 55dd69540b b8f4ae2 e23dc 99e4160445 3f7f2e.jpg
(warning: NSFW)

Posted by: mallfly at October 07, 2013 04:38 PM (bJm7W)

83 To top it off, Abrams blows up Vulcan. WTF? That's just Stupid. He fucked up the Khan story. Unforgivable he would even try going there.

Posted by: EC at October 07, 2013 04:38 PM (nkuLy)

84 and who says Ace gets all his content from HotAir

Posted by: Jean at October 07, 2013 04:38 PM (CMlD4)

85 56 lol. Top comment on the Scalia article is one talking about no "scientific" evidence for god. /facepalm Posted by: ConservativeMonster at October 07, 2013 08:35 PM (0wHyk)
Where is the "scientific" evidence of the superiority of socialism?

Posted by: Bertram Cabot Jr. at October 07, 2013 04:38 PM (E0/Ok)

86 Especially didn't expect the lefty chicks to get angry at me Posted by: Flatbush Joe at October 07, 2013 08:32 PM (ZPrif) Well there was your first problem. . .

Posted by: LizLem, giving Obamabots the eyeroll at October 07, 2013 04:39 PM (8wqqE)

87 83 Jean,

Maybe he saw Ed or AP's browser cookies eh?

Posted by: Sven10077 at October 07, 2013 04:39 PM (9jfyN)

88 That explains Nancy Pelosi's facial expression!

Posted by: exhelodrvr at October 07, 2013 04:39 PM (edmTQ)

89 A commenter from the interview summarizes the T-rex plot:

"It's set in a primitive jungle society where the main character belongs to a nomadic tribe.Lots of boning, usually described in a perfunctory manner. Anyway, they're terrorized by a T-Rex, main character goes to hunt it, T-Rex sees her and then things get kind of weird."

I'm guessing Syfy is considering making a movie out of this one?

Posted by: Lizzy at October 07, 2013 04:39 PM (JRmiD)

90 In the second movie, Abrams reintroduces Kahn. But this Kahn is a Beta Male. Then he kills Capt Pike. It wasn't enough to just torture, mame, and cripple the poor man in the first movie, Abrams rewards Pike and his audience with a violent ugly death. Well done, JJerkoff.

Posted by: slippery when soothsayer at October 07, 2013 04:39 PM (g3/1j)

91 Once you go Triceratops you never go back.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at October 07, 2013 04:39 PM (8ZskC)

92 Would a T-Rex make Matthew's leg tingle?

Posted by: Dept. Of Acuracy at October 07, 2013 04:39 PM (MhA4j)

93 Roddenberry insisted on the one Dumb Plotline he had been pitching for years: that the Enterprise go back in time to save JFK from the assassination in Dallas 1963. BTW, Red Dwarf did that. And it was terrible. It was a big 2-part season opener. The theme was that JFK was awesomely awesome but gosh darn it, just loved the ladies too much, which his opponents (those prudes, don't they know it's good to be the king) would exploit and his awesomely awesome liberal paradise would fall in on itself. Lucas and Roddenberry are really similar.

Posted by: AmishDude at October 07, 2013 04:40 PM (T0NGe)

94 So the punk in chief thinks calling Boehner out is a smart idea? What a fucking classless loser; no wonder Gerg is losing his shit.

Posted by: Captain Hate on his iPhone at October 07, 2013 04:40 PM (Hh4B5)

95 Sigh. I miss all the fun. What did gerg do this time?

Posted by: Buck Farack, Gentleman Adventurer at October 07, 2013 04:40 PM (ylG8S)

96 Oh and the Younger Spock has a love life. Total Bullshit. Do Not Want.

Posted by: slippery when soothsayer at October 07, 2013 04:40 PM (g3/1j)

97 Hey honey, did you authorize someone to put your likeness on a book?

Posted by: Barry Soetoro at October 07, 2013 04:40 PM (Pr6hk)

98 Total rip-off of "Bronto-Butt VII".

Posted by: Lincolntf at October 07, 2013 04:41 PM (ZshNr)

99 So did Wilma, Dino, and Betty have threesomes?

Posted by: exhelodrvr at October 07, 2013 04:41 PM (edmTQ)

100 Anyone want to borrow a dog-eared copy of "Geoduck Desire". Only a couple of pages stuck together.

Posted by: The Gerg at October 07, 2013 04:41 PM (SzAZ7)

101 A medical test being developed by Kuwait will be used to 'detect' homosexuals and prevent them from entering the country Â– or any of the Gulf Cooperation Countries (GCC), according to a Kuwaiti government official. GCC member countries Â– Bahrain, Kuwait, Qatar, Oman, Saudi Arabia and the United Arab Emirates Â– already deem homosexual acts unlawful. This controversial stance is being toughened, with members of the LGBT community stopped at the border and banned from entering the country, according to Yousouf Mindkar, the director of public health at the Kuwaiti health ministry. .... Of course, the Spite House would want a test to check for citizenship so they could exclude them.

Posted by: Islamic Rage Boy at October 07, 2013 04:41 PM (e8kgV)

102 What really kills me is that it seems the smaller the mamal, the greater the percentage of body their whanger is. Example: Squirrels and small dogs. Both have huge peni for their body size. Posted by: maddogg yeah, but have you seen those photos of whale penises? Beyond belief: http://dmotivated.com/view_pics.php?id=84 There's an even more famous photo of a Japanese fisherman with a 15-foot whale dick draped over his shoulder. Can't find it at the moment.

Posted by: zombie at October 07, 2013 04:42 PM (+cx5n)

103 "Check out Barbara Boxer's novel. There's a love scene in it."

If I cut off my head and flip it over upside down, and pour in the brain bleach, will the stuff take effect more quickly?

Posted by: torquewrench at October 07, 2013 04:42 PM (gqT4g)

104 Posted by: AmishDude at October 07, 2013 08:40 PM (T0NGe)

They did it as a season-end cliffhanger two-parter on Quantum Leap, too.

Posted by: Buck Farack, Gentleman Adventurer at October 07, 2013 04:42 PM (ylG8S)

105 Moar rape!

Posted by: The Triceratops at October 07, 2013 04:42 PM (Dwehj)

106 Velocirapists!

Posted by: Lincolntf at October 07, 2013 04:42 PM (ZshNr)

107 84 56
lol. Top comment on the Scalia article is one talking about no "scientific" evidence for god. /facepalm Posted by: ConservativeMonster at October 07, 2013 08:35 PM (0wHyk)

Where is the "scientific" evidence of the superiority of socialism?

======================

QED: you don't need evidence for what is obvious.
Obama went to Columbia and Harvard Law? Genius.
Ted Cruz went to Princeton and Harvard Law? Proves nothing.
You need to get with the program.

Posted by: mallfly at October 07, 2013 04:43 PM (bJm7W)

108 There's an even more famous photo of a Japanese fisherman with a 15-foot whale dick draped over his shoulder. Can't find it at the moment.

Posted by: zombie at October 07, 2013 08:42 PM (+cx5n)

Thats OK Zombie. I'll take your word for it.

Posted by: maddogg at October 07, 2013 04:43 PM (i5IoF)

109 Dino porn? Amateurs!

Posted by: Japan at October 07, 2013 04:43 PM (XvHmy)

110 95 Slippery when Soothsayer,

Spork II mainlines Viagra so his seven year itch is a seven second one....

side effect is getting the old space tube stopped up...

"Jim that's highly irregular, as too often Captain sadly am I.....

that's why I use Solo-Lax ensuring a smooth voyage every time."

YEAAARRRGGGHHH

Posted by: Sven10077 at October 07, 2013 04:43 PM (9jfyN)

111 Why do you think we got lost in The Land of the Lost?

Posted by: The Marshalls at October 07, 2013 04:43 PM (Dsds2)

112 Let me see the cover of that book. You know I dated him in my day

Posted by: Nancy Pelosi at October 07, 2013 04:43 PM (Pr6hk)

113 Well,whales actually do have a penis bone,so a boner for them is literal.

Posted by: steevy at October 07, 2013 04:43 PM (9XBK2)

114 95
Oh and the Younger Spock has a love life.

Total Bullshit. Do Not Want.

Posted by: slippery when soothsayer at October 07, 2013 08:40 PM (g3/1j)

They're totally fucking it away.

Posted by: Buck Farack, Gentleman Adventurer at October 07, 2013 04:44 PM (ylG8S)

115 Is it wrong to have fantasies about gumming raw hagfish?

Posted by: Nancy Pelosi at October 07, 2013 04:44 PM (SzAZ7)

116

I bet SyFy is on the dino movie after wrapping up the latest "Sharknado" dreck. Hell, I'd rather watch that than ANOTHER Carrie remake.

Posted by: landofskybluewater at October 07, 2013 04:44 PM (JoIcn)

117 111 Nancy Pelosi,

Palo-mino!

PALOMINO!

Posted by: Sven10077 at October 07, 2013 04:44 PM (9jfyN)

118 zombie, one of these days were going to have to resurrect Lee Marvin and Steve McQueen to to rescue you from San Francisco.

Posted by: Jean at October 07, 2013 04:44 PM (CMlD4)

119 >>>Jay Carney is willing to tell you about the number of people who visited the 404Care website but insists that he must observe Official Longstanding Protocol I Just Made Upthat numbers about actual enrollees can only be reported on a month-to-month basis.

Next up... "the glitches were the result of a YouTube video.

Posted by: non-essential commenter #27791629 at October 07, 2013 04:44 PM (mmGbS)

120 *pauses*

Do I want to go look in the manga library? I am pretty sure I have one magazine where there is this primitive human chick, raptors, T Rex, and I think T Rex eating - chomp chomp - the guy in the story.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at October 07, 2013 04:45 PM (A2SA7)

121 The physical challenges involved must have been formidable.

The penis of a tyrannosaur is estimated to be around 12 feet long.

http://tinyurl.com/ccb79qk

So essentially this chick's fantasy is to be a dino-condom?

Posted by: noone, really at October 07, 2013 04:45 PM (5ikDv)

122 @63 Lizards are not very exciting. They sit there lizard-style for a while. The males whipping out their dewlaps and fighting for the females is more interesting.

Posted by: Beagle at October 07, 2013 04:45 PM (sOtz/)

123 120 No one, really,

Ah see it WAS normal sweetie....

//Julian Assange

Posted by: Sven10077 at October 07, 2013 04:46 PM (9jfyN)

124 Careful, young Dinos. There's always some slutty little Stegosaurus luring you into the tar pit, it's a jungle out there.

Posted by: Lincolntf at October 07, 2013 04:46 PM (ZshNr)

125 Posted by: Tony Weiner at October 07, 2013 08:29 PM (Pr6hk) I'm done. One reason I come to the HQ.

Posted by: Golfman in NC at October 07, 2013 04:46 PM (WaCPR)

126 The penis of a tyrannosaur is estimated to be around 12 feet long.

Newsletter?

Posted by: Sandra Flook at October 07, 2013 04:46 PM (Dwehj)

127 Do I want to go look in the manga library? I am pretty sure I have one magazine where there is this primitive human chick, raptors, T Rex, and I think T Rex eating - chomp chomp - the guy in the story. The old Druuna comics had some kind of alien rape going on.

Posted by: EC at October 07, 2013 04:47 PM (nkuLy)

128 121 Beagle,

"Goddamned cold blooded circulatory system..."

//Ron Jeremy jr the Hedgelizard

Posted by: Sven10077 at October 07, 2013 04:47 PM (9jfyN)

129 There's an even more famous photo of a Japanese fisherman with a 15-foot whale dick draped over his shoulder. Can't find it at the moment.

Posted by: zombie at October 07, 2013 08:42 PM (+cx5n)

When your in a bar that has that picture on the wall, its time to put down the Jack and walk out slowly

Posted by: Jean at October 07, 2013 04:47 PM (CMlD4)

130 Jet pilots. *** I'm laughing and I have absolutely NO idea what the hell about.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at October 07, 2013 04:47 PM (DmNpO)

131 If you want to talk about disturbing fan fiction then here you go : Merry, Pippin and Treebeard in "By Root and Twig".

Everyone I know who has read this story has been permanently turned off the Lord of the Rings.

Posted by: chad at October 07, 2013 04:47 PM (gYowz)

132 I hate that JJ has Spock winning the girl (Ohura) and acting all badass, like him chasing down and fighting Khan in the latest one. Jim is the badass ladies man, not Spock.

Posted by: Lizzy at October 07, 2013 04:47 PM (JRmiD)

133 How about: "Despoiled by the Dryosaurus"?

Posted by: Thrawn at October 07, 2013 04:48 PM (Dsds2)

134 Hold on, I think I know what's next: Were-Spider BBW romance novels.

Posted by: CAC at October 07, 2013 04:48 PM (63E4a)

135 well apparently the hyperlink tool isn't working so Merry, Pippin, Teebeard etc. http://tinyurl.com/loq82u9

Posted by: chad at October 07, 2013 04:48 PM (gYowz)

136 Pfft. Dino rape. Totally unbelievable.

Posted by: horny rapey dolphin at October 07, 2013 04:48 PM (mmGbS)

137 129 Niedermeyer's Dead Horse,

Every pilot has three nightmares...

1) intake tour

2) controlled flight into terrain

3) a pterodactyl deciding to get into Barry White Mode with your exhaust....

"Can't get enough of your love bay-by"

Posted by: Sven10077 at October 07, 2013 04:48 PM (9jfyN)

138 Mammals are the kings of big dicks. No other branch of the animal kingdom comes close when it comes to penis-length/body-length ratios. Posted by: zombie at October 07, 2013 08:32 PM (+cx5n) You say this after posting pics of the Folsom Street Fair?

Posted by: Bill H at October 07, 2013 04:49 PM (3sZO1)

139 Are brontosauruses and bronco-bamas the same creature? If so, that chick is seriously effed!

Posted by: jmel at October 07, 2013 04:49 PM (cfFqn)

140 30 Dino porn is just the logical development of furry fantasies (serious). I didn't go to the Folsom Street Fair this year, but if I had, Im quote sure I would have seen Dino fetish furry outfits. I guess they wouldn't count as "furries" -- how about "scalies"? Last year there were many repulsive perverts in My Little Pony getups. Whatever is trendy in culture immediate gets reflected in SF's sex subculture. Posted by: zombie at October 07, 2013 08:29 PM (+cx5n) Congrats, you have just tainted this awesome costume for me (click on the pic to enlarge): http://www.utahbusiness.com/ articles/view/dinosaurs_on_parade

Posted by: LizLem, giving Obamabots the eyeroll at October 07, 2013 04:49 PM (8wqqE)

141 Hold on, I think I know what's next:

Were-Spider BBW romance novels.

Posted by: CAC

or driders with whips

Posted by: Jean at October 07, 2013 04:49 PM (CMlD4)

142

Sooo..... to sum up the thread....

G. Lucas and J.J. Whateverthefuckitis are going back in time to save JFK from Oblabocare waiting room. Then they will go fetch a T-Rex for the former prez to fuck so that J. Carney and Choom boy can figure out how numbers work.

Did I got that right?

Posted by: madamemayhem at October 07, 2013 04:49 PM (S2RnE)

143 I starred in Dinosaurs from '91 to '94. Now willing to do porn.

Posted by: Sinclair at October 07, 2013 04:49 PM (/1ATA)

144 They could do an underwater sequel involving a pleasemeasaurus...

Posted by: CAC at October 07, 2013 04:50 PM (63E4a)

145 137 Bill H,

In Zombie's defense....

I'm certain she'd tell you there were a lot of Six Foot tall penises at Folsom....

Posted by: Sven10077 at October 07, 2013 04:50 PM (9jfyN)

146 In important news, WWE now has a masked Mexican midget wrestler who dresses like a bull -- El Torito.

Posted by: Flatbush Joe at October 07, 2013 04:51 PM (ZPrif)

147 Barnacles have a penis that is 16x their body length.

Posted by: CAC at October 07, 2013 04:51 PM (63E4a)

148 "Everyone I know who has read this story has been permanently turned off the Lord of the Rings."

Posted by: chad

I read a LOTR fan fiction once where the entire Fellowship began comparing notes and discovered that Gandalf had molested each one of them at some point in their lives.

Funniest damn thing I've read in a long time, but I'll be damned if I can find it now.

Posted by: Hobbitopoly at October 07, 2013 04:51 PM (080XV)

149 Hmm zombie, he or she?

Posted by: Jean at October 07, 2013 04:51 PM (CMlD4)

150 Avoid the Trannysaurus at all costs. "I'm a bird! I'm a lizard! My Father doesn't love me!!".

Posted by: Lincolntf at October 07, 2013 04:51 PM (ZshNr)

151 Brian Dennehy's penis was rumored to be longer than that of any other mammal.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at October 07, 2013 04:52 PM (8ZskC)

152 I refused to see the JJ Abrams ST movies when he used the time travel angle,just like stupid Enterprise,they need to retcon every damn thing.

Posted by: steevy at October 07, 2013 04:52 PM (9XBK2)

153 148 Jean,

Zombie is a she...

http://tinyurl.com/r5slv

Posted by: Sven10077 at October 07, 2013 04:52 PM (9jfyN)

154 I had jury duty today. As they were reading off the names for the first panel I heard the name Melissa Cooter. yeah, I laughed.

Posted by: jewells45 trying to keep from going crazy at October 07, 2013 04:53 PM (u25eL)

155 Right now, WWE has match where to Puerto Ricans are wrestling with a gimmick as Spanish Bullfighters with a Mexican midget in a bull mask -- wrestling against a Canadian with a gimmick as an Indian (dot, not feather) rock star, including black leather pants and a rock star turban. Los Matadores vs Jinder Mahal It's comedy gimmick match.

Posted by: Flatbush Joe at October 07, 2013 04:53 PM (ZPrif)

156 151 Steevy,

Yeah I was distressed until I discovered the etymology of Retcon...

turns out it's from the Latin Reticio Conuigula loosely translated meaning "fuck you fans"

Posted by: Sven10077 at October 07, 2013 04:54 PM (9jfyN)

157 This won't come as a surprise to most of you but there exists prOn versions of both The Flintstones and Scooby Doo.

Posted by: slippery when soothsayer at October 07, 2013 04:54 PM (g3/1j)

158 I don't know Zombies sex, but I want to say "she" .Just because of places she was able to get that I don't think men could get when she was doing "guerrilla"-ish stuff. Doesn't matter to me.

Posted by: Lincolntf at October 07, 2013 04:54 PM (ZshNr)

159 100 --"....This controversial stance is being toughened, with members of the LGBT community stopped at the border and banned from entering the country, according to Yousouf Mindkar, the director of public health at the Kuwaiti health ministry." Posted by: Islamic Rage Boy at October 07, 2013 08:41 PM (e8kgV) ------------------------- I'm sure that Dear Leader will comment on this soon and loudly admonish them for this. After all, he attacked the Russians for far, far less.

Posted by: Margarita DeVille at October 07, 2013 04:54 PM (dfYL9)

160 They're all guilty jewells45! Don't let 'em off.

Posted by: EC at October 07, 2013 04:54 PM (nkuLy)

161 Ah animal friends! I was at the aquarium in Newport Oregon long ago when they had Keiko the Killer Whale there. And in the gift shop on the wall they had a poster for sale entitled 'Keiko and His Friends'. It was a painting of Keiko surrounded by seals, and puffins, and salmon, and otters, and all manner of cute creatures that swimmeth the seas or flyeth above them. And I said out loud, "Looks more like Keiko and His Lunch to me." Boy did that get me dirty looks from the moms next to me showing it to their kids.

Posted by: Starboardhelm at October 07, 2013 04:54 PM (1I4sj)

162 153 ,.... Melissa Cooter. I knew a Myha Dangler and a Fonda Cox

Posted by: Dept. Of Acuracy at October 07, 2013 04:55 PM (MhA4j)

163 Zombie, IIRC you did a post on the Folsom Street fair where there was a performance by a Jesus impersonator where he disrobed and then did some crazy contortions to showcase his nether-regions, right? All while being watch by families - who brought their precious kids to the this orgy of deviance.

Posted by: Lizzy at October 07, 2013 04:55 PM (JRmiD)

164 Just what does this have to do with my inability to get free health care provided by the sparkly unicorns? I mean, I was promised........

Posted by: Typical Liberal Shitbag at October 07, 2013 04:55 PM (JWAP9)

165 Well with Folsom I think the theme is "Anything Pervy Goes" so besides Fluttershy in S and M gear probably see a Pony Girl hauling some fat lizard...

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at October 07, 2013 04:56 PM (A2SA7)

166 'Bored of the Rings' still in print!

Posted by: Harvard Lampoon at October 07, 2013 04:56 PM (/1ATA)

167 162 Lizzy,

which is why when a pissed off carpenter starts breathing fiery swords from his mouth I am not going to be shocked for a milisecond....

San Fran thinks they're the next step in evolution rather than ground zero for devolution.

Posted by: Sven10077 at October 07, 2013 04:57 PM (9jfyN)

168 >>>They're all guilty jewells45! Don't let 'em off. Unless it's me. I totally didn't do it, and don't even look at the security camera footage.

Posted by: DC in Towson at October 07, 2013 04:57 PM (eQJwb)

169 remember PONY BOY in THE OUTSIDERS?

Posted by: soothsayerwing plover at October 07, 2013 04:57 PM (g3/1j)

170 Bestiality. Awesome. I want off this damn planet. And are we still cussing all over the place to frighten those who followed the Insty link from earlier today?

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at October 07, 2013 04:57 PM (GEICT)

171 EC.. I sat there for 4 hours and was finally released. God.. I was so pissed. Up at 5:00 am to get there on time. Pay for parking. They gave me check. A whole $8.38. Fuckers.

Posted by: jewells45 trying to keep from going crazy at October 07, 2013 04:57 PM (u25eL)

172

Posted by: Lizzy at October 07, 2013 08:55 PM (JRmiD)

What kind of parents would take their children to see that shit? They ought to be jailed, and subjected to said dicks in their cells.

Posted by: maddogg at October 07, 2013 04:57 PM (i5IoF)

173 In Zombie's defense.... I'm certain she'd tell you there were a lot of Six Foot tall penises at Folsom.... Posted by: Sven10077 at October 07, 2013 08:50 PM (9jfyN) Hell Sven, I'm just poking at her a little in jest. Her soap and water bill after one of those must be enormous.

Posted by: Bill H at October 07, 2013 04:58 PM (3sZO1)

174 Roddenberry was even more a fool, then I first thought, luckily Harve Bennett kept him away from the script

Posted by: Jeffrey Pelt at October 07, 2013 04:58 PM (Jsiw/)

175 When do we not cuss?

Posted by: steevy at October 07, 2013 04:58 PM (9XBK2)

176 >>>Taken by a T-Rex

That stuff about size not mattering? bull shit

Posted by: rdbrewer at October 07, 2013 04:59 PM (Iyg03)

177 >>>And are we still cussing all over the place to frighten those who followed the Insty link from earlier today? Fuck no. What the fuck do you think we are, a bunch of fucking barbarians? Jeebus fucking Christ, the nerve of some people.... *insert 'diversity of the word' linky here*

Posted by: DC in Towson at October 07, 2013 05:00 PM (eQJwb)

178 EC.. I sat there for 4 hours and was finally released. God.. I was so pissed. Up at 5:00 am to get there on time. Pay for parking. They gave me check. A whole $8.38. Fuckers. I got out of jury duty once because I told them the truth: I'm not a US citizen. (Am now) Now, I seriously doubt that excuse would still work these days.

Posted by: EC at October 07, 2013 05:00 PM (nkuLy)

179 Later tonight on TCM they will show Throne of Blood. Which will be a good thing as I revise the finished second script I am pitching to Amazon Studios. I want to get paid $10k also. Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at October 07, 2013 08:37 PM (A2SA7) Yay, do eeeeeet. Good luck! That prize will supply you with your choice of crossbows or longbows for at least a year.

Posted by: LizLem, giving Obamabots the eyeroll at October 07, 2013 05:00 PM (8wqqE)

180 MNF thread up

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at October 07, 2013 05:01 PM (DmNpO)

181 My 6th Grade teacher, Mr O'Brian, read The Outsiders to us, a few pages at the end of each day. He was a great teacher. And that was a great time to be a kid -- it was the year of the first Shuttle flight, and Ronald Reagan was president.

Posted by: soothsayer at October 07, 2013 05:01 PM (g3/1j)

182 I think this is what killed Tom Clancy.

Posted by: Oldsailors Poet Palin/Bolton 2016 at October 07, 2013 05:01 PM (XIxXP)

183 Posted by: soothsayer at October 07, 2013 09:01 PM (g3/1j) My 6th Grade Teacher read Island of the Blue Dolphin. I credit her with my love of reading.

Posted by: Oldsailors Poet Palin/Bolton 2016 at October 07, 2013 05:02 PM (XIxXP)

184 Megyn Kelly's legs are very shiny. Also: she has too much makeup on her dÃ©colletage. Ease up, girl. She has Ted Cruz on right now.

Posted by: EC at October 07, 2013 05:03 PM (nkuLy)

185 Ridden Hard and Put Away Wet by My Little Pony by My Little Pony

Posted by: Dr. Jesse Pinkman, PhD at October 07, 2013 05:03 PM (A/ga/)

186 I sent them a letter... twice.. and a letter signed by the social worker from the rehabilitation center saying mom needed supervision for meds and bathing and they still wouldn't let me off. When you get there you can plead your case, but only AFTER you have been selected for a panel! Well shit.. that was already 2 and a half hours in! And since I never got selected I never got to plead my hardship!

Posted by: jewells45 trying to keep from going crazy at October 07, 2013 05:03 PM (u25eL)

187 Taking story and script ideas from George Lucas is like taking child rearing advice from me.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD, you taunty bitch. at October 07, 2013 05:03 PM (Gk3SS)

188 172 Bill H,

nah it's all good....

she, bladi, chique d'afrique and a few of us go back a long long ways.....

watch out for that magaladon

Posted by: sven10077 at October 07, 2013 05:03 PM (9jfyN)

189 driders with whips

Ah, the drow. They were the best villains in the whole output of Gary Gygax (peace be upon him - and this time I mean it). Certainly the Vault and Erelhei-Cinlu was his best setting.

Posted by: boulder toilet hobo at October 07, 2013 05:04 PM (d7tB2)

190 >>>I think this is what killed Tom Clancy. Yeah, I had him in my dead pool, but I can't get paid because I didn't have "death by dino-dick" as the cause.

Posted by: DC in Towson at October 07, 2013 05:04 PM (eQJwb)

191 When I got down far enough to see "triceratops" I started to laugh and at the same time wonder about the qualities of the "horns". And then I saw the illustration. I spat out a mouthful of Schaefer's on the bar!
Clearly pitched to women, the cute little "'topsie" resembles nothing so much as a Gund animal, just another bed ornament in Kitten's pink bedroom.
Those morons who misspent their respective youths as I did may recall Wonder Warthog, who, when faced with ridicule from his intended victim over the quality of his, er, curlicue, proclaimed in a loud voice, "Then I'll use my SNOUT!".

Posted by: Cretin, high-grade moron isotopes in thousands of centrifuges at October 07, 2013 05:05 PM (Dw1cv)

192 Gang Banged! The story of a young girl's awakening by a pod of dolphins. Don't go back into the ocean! But they kept calling to her....

Posted by: Dr. Jesse Pinkman, PhD at October 07, 2013 05:05 PM (A/ga/)

193 MNF thread up Sorry NDH, but I kinda lost interest when the Chargers were beaten like a pinata at a 10yo birthday party last night. Considering the way they played, they did deserve it.

Posted by: Bill H at October 07, 2013 05:05 PM (3sZO1)

194 She has Ted Cruz on right now.

He was so awesome in The Color of Money.

Posted by: Low Information Voter at October 07, 2013 05:06 PM (Dwehj)

195 Really Megyn? A Politico poll showing Ted Cruz is unpopular? Ya think?

Posted by: Ktgreat: at October 07, 2013 05:06 PM (Bl4dy)

196 Give her the duck-billed ride of her life, I would!

Posted by: Lincolntf at October 07, 2013 05:06 PM (ZshNr)

197

Raped by a triceratops?

Bring.It.On.

Posted by: Sandra Fluke at October 07, 2013 05:07 PM (bZKbH)

198 By the way (and it's probably not coincidental on Gygax's part) almost all amateur femdom fantasy BDSM will feature a drow noble sooner or later.

Posted by: boulder toilet hobo at October 07, 2013 05:07 PM (d7tB2)

199 From the sidebar: Is This Something? @jimmybr tells me this is something I mentioned that ages ago, but everyone ignored me. *sniffles* It is very Lovecraftian and dystopian, I assumed the Morons would like the satire. Some of the later writing for the radio show is brilliant. Why nerdy high school kids are obsessed with it, I have not a clue, but it's fun. I think it is because the main 'ship in the story is between two men, and that is the LEAST weird thing about the town.

Posted by: LizLem, giving Obamabots the eyeroll at October 07, 2013 05:07 PM (8wqqE)

200 Tweeeee-tweeeeeeeeee-click-click-tweeeeeeee!!!

Posted by: dolphin pod leader at October 07, 2013 05:07 PM (i4xvM)

201 186 Taking story and script ideas from George Lucas is like taking child rearing advice from me.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD, you taunty bitch. at October 07, 2013 09:03 PM (Gk3SS)

So what is your child-rearing advice?

*pulls out notebook*

Posted by: ConservativeMonster at October 07, 2013 05:08 PM (0wHyk)

202 The last time I had jury duty was for a Justice of the Peace hearing. After hearing about the case I was asked my opinion. After being told to watch my language. I was then asked to leave.

Stupid people stole someones dog and then sued to keep the damn thing.

Posted by: Joethefatman™ (@joethefatman1) at October 07, 2013 05:08 PM (MnSla)

203 Abrams and Lucas conversing about Star Wars is pretty much the definition of "no-talent circle-jerk".

Posted by: boulder toilet hobo at October 07, 2013 05:08 PM (d7tB2)

204 Not sure if this good or bad. But found the story. From ErotiKappa Sept 1997. Printed in Italy. The Fish Bone by Akira Ooyama.

Naked elf girl gets woken up. T Rex wanders by and spews on her a naked human male. They go and do the zug-zug. She gets mad and spears him. So the T Rex comes back and eats the corpse. End of Part One. Not going to talk about Part Two or Three.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at October 07, 2013 05:08 PM (A2SA7)

205 @187 That sucker went extinct maybe five million years ago. I knew a kid who found some teeth in a creek. That was an early wake up call: monsters were real.

Posted by: Beagle at October 07, 2013 05:10 PM (sOtz/)

206 Sven, Q: Who are you?
A: I choose to remain anonymous.

Posted by: Jean at October 07, 2013 05:11 PM (CMlD4)

207 >>>>Throne of Blood.<<<<

I love porcupine Toshiro Mifune.

The old guy in the woods with the spinning wheel--creepy as fuck.

Enjoy.

Posted by: the guy that moves pianos for a living... at October 07, 2013 05:11 PM (P/gm7)

208 All this dirt is revealed in Shatner's very readable "Star Trek Movie Memories."

This was a great book. The book explains why the first two seasons of the Next Generation (the ones Roddenberry ran) were crappy, and why the show got better after he croaked.

Posted by: Bevel Lemelisk at October 07, 2013 05:11 PM (uhAkr)

209 162 Zombie, IIRC you did a post on the Folsom Street fair where there was a performance by a Jesus impersonator where he disrobed and then did some crazy contortions to showcase his nether-regions, right? All while being watch by families - who brought their precious kids to the this orgy of deviance. Posted by: Lizzy That wasn't the Folsom Street Fair, that was the Hunky Jesus Contest, which happens on Easter each year. Here's what you're looking for: http://tinyurl.com/q32y4rp

Posted by: zombie at October 07, 2013 05:13 PM (+cx5n)

210 Within the last 48 hours 4,089,317 people kissed my ass and proclaimed me the next messiah and I live in rural Iowa. That means at least 43,785,092,309,067 people have successfully signed up for Ocare in California. Utopia is on the horizon.

Posted by: angel with a sword at October 07, 2013 05:13 PM (hpgw1)

211 she, bladi, chique d'afrique and a few of us go back a long long ways..... watch out for that magaladon Posted by: sven10077 at October 07, 2013 09:03 PM (9jfyN) Bladi? Baldi, I think you mean. Yah, there's a few in the Wimmens Aux that have been here awhile. If nothing else, hat's of to y'all for putting up with our crap.

Posted by: Bill H at October 07, 2013 05:13 PM (3sZO1)

212 1.5 million Could need a bigger boat.

Posted by: Beagle at October 07, 2013 05:13 PM (sOtz/)

213 Look, I'm just coming to grips that tentacle porn exisits. Now we have dinosaur porn? I do not need this shit! Where's my scotch?

Posted by: Kreplach at October 07, 2013 05:14 PM (hmUex)

214 205 Jean,

I am about as a non y mous as one can be with a nick....

If it's any comfort everyone I mentioned is a survivor of Jharles Chonson's insane asylum....

you are guy who got to play with the G-11.....

one day God willing there'll be a huge party of all us internet 1s and 0s

Posted by: sven10077 at October 07, 2013 05:15 PM (9jfyN)

215 BTW, Red Dwarf did that.

And it was terrible. It was a big 2-part season opener.

The theme was that JFK was awesomely awesome but gosh darn it, just loved the ladies too much, which his opponents (those prudes, don't they know it's good to be the king) would exploit and his awesomely awesome liberal paradise would fall in on itself.

Lucas and Roddenberry are really similar.

Posted by: AmishDude at October 07, 2013 08:40 PM (T0NGe)

Actually, it does make for some interesting speculation. I don't think two terms of JFK would have produced to collectivist wet-dream "utopia" that the leftists think it would. Kennedy introduced income tax reform in order to spur economic growth and was a pretty ardent anti-Communist.

If no Johnson presidency following Kennedy's assassination, would there have been LBJ's Great Society? Would there have even been Medicare? Would a Kennedy administration have escalated military forces in Vietnam to a greater extant than the Johnson administration? I think from the HQ Moron's point of view, things might have turned out better if Kennedy had not be assassinated.

Posted by: Retired Buckeye Cop at October 07, 2013 05:15 PM (Ud9dC)

216 >>>>There's an even more famous photo of a Japanese fisherman with a 15-foot
whale dick draped over his shoulder. Can't find it at the moment.<<<<

I seem to recall a chapter in Moby Dick where he talks about the whaling crew eating to whale dick like steaks. I have no idea what kind of marinade you would need.

Posted by: the guy that moves pianos for a living... at October 07, 2013 05:15 PM (P/gm7)

217 Megyn Kelly's first guest on her new show was Ted Cruze. I guess we know which direction she's gonna lean.

Posted by: Shep Smith at October 07, 2013 05:15 PM (Pr6hk)

218 @212 Is that Japanese pron with the girl and the live octopus real? Apocryphal?
Srsly, an octopus?!? Euww.

Posted by: Cretin, high-grade moron isotopes in thousands of centrifuges at October 07, 2013 05:16 PM (Dw1cv)

219 210 Bill H,

awkward typo...

the 'ettes make the web go 'round....

Posted by: sven10077 at October 07, 2013 05:16 PM (9jfyN)

220 driders with whips

Ah, the drow. They were the best villains in the whole output of Gary Gygax (peace be upon him - and this time I mean it). Certainly the Vault and Erelhei-Cinlu was his best setting.
Posted by: boulder toilet hobo

yeah, illithids were too complex

Posted by: Jean at October 07, 2013 05:16 PM (CMlD4)

221 216 Megyn Kelly's first guest on her new show was Ted Cruze. I guess we know which direction she's gonna lean. Posted by: Shep Smith at October 07, 2013 09:15 PM (Pr6hk) So NOT forward?

Posted by: LizLem, giving Obamabots the eyeroll at October 07, 2013 05:17 PM (8wqqE)

222

Not sure if this is the book thread or some sort of a movie thread. Either way, it's too weird even for me. I'll stick to "The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance" which is in the DVD player right now.

I especially love the part where John Wayne makes a pass at Jimmy Stewart's horse.

Posted by: Foghorn Leghorn at October 07, 2013 05:17 PM (l0lja)

223 Spock: Mister President, it is illogical for you to go to Dallas when you can stay in Washington DC and bang a hot, nubile Tricoochatops. JFK: Errr-uh, Ich bin ein Dinofucker. Say Spaaaahck, what say we make this a party. I got this hot little piece named Helen Thomas. How about you take a run at her? Spock: Fascinating. *later* Spock: Gaaaaahhhh, the pig clap. It burns!!!!!

Posted by: Star Trek 2: Wrath of the Wingman at October 07, 2013 05:17 PM (ZR4Xh)

224 214 retired buckeye cop,

would there be an EPA given Nixon's desire to drive wedges in the lunatic left would be less needed?

History is lines and curves.

Posted by: sven10077 at October 07, 2013 05:18 PM (9jfyN)

225 Capt. Kirk, "Bones is there anything we can do to cure President Kennedy?"

Bones, "I'm a medical doctor not Dr. Ruth. His libido is the only one I've seen bigger than yours."

Capt. Kirk, "As I said. Anyway to cure him?"

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at October 07, 2013 05:19 PM (A2SA7)

226 And after all, where would all this be without the internet?

Posted by: Foghorn Leghorn at October 07, 2013 05:19 PM (l0lja)

227 Well Kirk was a Kennedyesque figure, in every sense of the word, the coldest pf Cold Warriors,

Posted by: Jeffrey Pelt at October 07, 2013 05:20 PM (Jsiw/)

228 I especially love the part where John Wayne makes a pass at Jimmy Stewart's horse. Posted by: Foghorn Leghorn at October 07, 2013 09:17 PM (l0lja) That's in fuck near every John Wayne flick ever made. I think I even saw something like that in "The Green Berets".

Posted by: Bill H at October 07, 2013 05:20 PM (3sZO1)

229 @217 Yes. A friend of mine sent me a link to a particularly gruesome video just as a check this out. Fucked my head up for a week. I put people who are into that as the same people who watch snuff films or of people getting injured. Sick freaks.

Posted by: Kreplach at October 07, 2013 05:21 PM (hmUex)

230 208 Zombie,

some of your best work....

Zombie you ever get inspired you should go to Antioch College in Yellow Springs Ohio.

Way back when I called it Granola City-full of nuts and flakes.

Posted by: sven10077 at October 07, 2013 05:21 PM (9jfyN)

231 @228 yep
Uff da!

Posted by: Cretin, high-grade moron isotopes in thousands of centrifuges at October 07, 2013 05:24 PM (Dw1cv)

232 227 I especially love the part where John Wayne makes a pass at Jimmy Stewart's horse. Posted by: Foghorn Leghorn at October 07, 2013 09:17 PM (l0lja) According to this one cinema class I know of, taught by a lib of course, every western has homoerotic subtext. Comparing size of guns? Homoerotic subtext. Old cowboy teaching a young upstart the ways of the west? Homoerotic subtext. guess ppl are predisposed to see what they want o see, as I am sure John Ford had none of that in mind. Speaking of westerns, for Breaking Bad fans, apparently the finale ep writers were inspired by the classic film The Searchers.

Posted by: LizLem, giving Obamabots the eyeroll at October 07, 2013 05:25 PM (8wqqE)

233 >>That wasn't the Folsom Street Fair, that was the Hunky Jesus Contest, which happens on Easter each year. Here's what you're looking for:

Thank you, no, once was enough!
I appreciate you covering the SF weirdo/activist beat because if not for your pictures I wouldn't believe this stuff actually happens.

Posted by: Lizzy at October 07, 2013 05:26 PM (JRmiD)

234 would there be an EPA given Nixon's desire to drive wedges in the lunatic left would be less needed?

History is lines and curves.

Posted by: sven10077 at October 07, 2013 09:18 PM (9jfyN)

Hi Sven: it does make you wonder. The Democrat party has never been the same since 1968.

I hope everything is going well for you and your wife. I lurk way more than I post ever since I got a job last year but I always look for your comments on a thread. Well, got to sign off now.

Posted by: Retired Buckeye Cop at October 07, 2013 05:29 PM (Ud9dC)

235 Jean - Any villain in D n' D is only as smart as its Dungeon Master. (Same goes for fiction. I'm pretty sure I plagiarised this iron law from somewhere else.)

Illithids are supposed to be alien super-geniuses. That makes them smarter than almost all humans who ever lived.

One illithid antagonist can be role-played, with a lot of preparation by the DM. A whole society of them is, frankly, beyond our abilities.

(Drow are supposed to be smarter than us too, but fortunately they are also chaotic-evil. That means we can just steal from mafia fiction, like RA Salvatore did.)

Posted by: boulder toilet hobo at October 07, 2013 05:30 PM (d7tB2)

236

people who always find homo erotic subtexts are not exceptionally clever, they are just accidentally letting you know how they see everything

my SIL (a hasbian - former lesbian, now bi polyamorous) always thought little girls were sexually interested in Barbie dolls because when they are toddlers they always take the clothes off Barbie but don't put them back on.

I had to point out to her that it is harder to put clothing on than take it off. That's why kids can take their own clothes off before they can efficiently dress themselves. weirdo

Posted by: thunderb at October 07, 2013 05:31 PM (zOTsN)

237 LizLem thanks for the encouragement. Got one script up there already. This is my second one. I might be too creative compared to what they have been selecting for development. There is still time to try and write about 90 pages of script for a movie to pitch to Amazon Studios, that can win $20k and the Annual prize is a cool $100k.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at October 07, 2013 05:35 PM (A2SA7)

238 Anyone know if Dino Herpes is treatable? I'm asking for a friend.

Posted by: Gerg at October 07, 2013 05:36 PM (dvRYt)

239 Is it odd that the part of this story I have the strongest reaction to is my disappointment that "monster erotica" hasn't evolved to "monsterotica?"

Posted by: EddieF at October 07, 2013 05:39 PM (LGtlL)

240 Those people on Fox right now are f'n idiots.

Posted by: Freak Out! at October 07, 2013 05:40 PM (+jhcF)

241 The author of the NY piece while claiming not be is clearly contemptuous of Scalia's belief in the devil. Such an elite and educated man-the NY author is above that sort of nonsense. I thought it was interesting and Scalia explained his belief succinctly but well.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at October 07, 2013 05:43 PM (a4Omg)

242 Wow, and here I thought when I was writing Anonymous Rex, Casual Rex, and Hot & Sweaty Rex that I was being very clever just to have dinos hidden amongst us, addicted to various herbs, struggling with their buckles and straps on their disguises, and generally having a tough time staying hidden while doing interesting jobs like Private Dick.

Sigh.

Posted by: Eric Garcia at October 07, 2013 05:43 PM (GoEpX)

243 The author of the NY piece while claiming not be is clearly contemptuous of Scalia's belief in the devil.

There's more evidence for the devil, or at the very least for the Trickster, than there is for God.

For evidence I offer the Second Law of Thermodynamics.

Posted by: boulder toilet hobo at October 07, 2013 05:47 PM (d7tB2)

244 Dinosaur Porn. uhhhh-take me away SMOD.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at October 07, 2013 05:55 PM (a4Omg)

245 As CBS 2Â’s Jennifer McLogan reported Monday, officials at Weber Middle School in Port Washington are worried that students are getting hurt during recess. Thus, they have instituted a ban on footballs, baseballs, lacrosse balls, or anything that might hurt someone on school grounds. Tossing a football during recess has long seemed to be a rite of passage for kids in the school community. Â“I think we need the soccer balls, the footballs and everything, so we can have some fun,Â” one student said. But the students will have no such option anymore. They were just informed that during recess, football is out and Nerf ball is in. Hard soccer balls have been banned, along with baseballs and lacrosse balls, rough games of tag, or cartwheels unless supervised by a coach.

Posted by: Islamic Rage Boy at October 07, 2013 05:58 PM (e8kgV)

246 Pretty sure Wrath of Montalkhan was easily the best ST movie in the entire series, so yeah.

Posted by: miked at October 07, 2013 05:59 PM (iZiIb)

247 If we're going to have a Khan who isn't Montalban, he should at least be a Punjabi.

Not a pasty pussy who would last about six minutes in the northwest frontier province.

Posted by: boulder toilet hobo at October 07, 2013 06:02 PM (d7tB2)

248 Dino Porn Book Names, in the spirit of Sue Grafton:

Anally Raped by Ankylosaurus!

Boned by Brontosaurus!

Cleaved by Centrosaurus!

Dorked by a Diplodocus!

Eaten (in a good way) by Epidexipteryx!

F*cked by a Fukuiraptor (seriously, you guys)!

Groped by Gorgosaurus!

Hammered by a Hippodraco!

Invaded by a Incisivosaurus!

Jammed by a Jinzhousaurus!

. . .

Love, Lophostropheus' Style!

Mauled (also in a good way) by a M

. . .

Orgasmed by a Orgasmasaur!

Porked by a Pteradon!

. . .

Schtuped by a Stegosaurus!

Train-pulled by Ten Tyrannosaurs!

. . .

Violated by a Velociraptor!

and so on . . .

Posted by: Sharkman at October 07, 2013 06:03 PM (GoEpX)

249 And speaking of people taken by a weird creature: Photo fun time: http://tinyurl.com/lmpbqzt

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at October 07, 2013 06:08 PM (a4Omg)

250

Get a load of most of the comments following the Scalia interview; Arrogant,smug know-nothingness is the default liberal attitude in the presence of a stellar mind. These nitwits actually think they are smarter than Scalia...

Posted by: JoeyBagels at October 07, 2013 06:16 PM (Usdw3)

251 Pterodactyl Rape?
Really.

Posted by: garrett at October 07, 2013 08:28 PM (t57/N)

"Tales of the Pteranodong."

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at October 07, 2013 06:31 PM (8Fl6F)

252 Lucas thinks he is talking to Abrams, it is really the loser of the intern pool

Posted by: Motionview at October 07, 2013 06:37 PM (2yPl+)

253 I ckfuing hate you for this, Ace.

Posted by: Quint&Jessel, Sea of Azof, Bly, UK at October 07, 2013 08:29 PM (6KSs1)

254 ** Not a pasty pussy who would last about six minutes in the northwest frontier province. ** Whatever you may think about Cumberbatch in particular playing Mr K. N. Singh, there were quite a few pasty guys (Brits) up in the NW Frontier who made their names. One of them, Nicholson, so terrified the shit out of the locals that... well, put it this way, the Frontier was quieter in his day, and parents up there don't threaten their kids with the boogeyman Nikal Seyn for no reason. Of course that was back in the good old days, when you could fight with gloves off and the media would probably back or ignore everything but your most egregious abuses.

Posted by: perturbed at October 08, 2013 04:06 AM (TXq4O)

255 61 . . . What really kills me is that it seems the smaller the mamal, the greater the percentage of body their whanger is. Example: Squirrels and small dogs. Both have huge peni for their body size.
*
*
You rang?

Posted by: John Holmes & Ron Jeremy at October 08, 2013 06:46 AM (BDU/a)

256 156
This won't come as a surprise to most of you but there exists prOn versions of both The Flintstones and Scooby Doo.
*
*
Always wanted to see Betty Rubble naked!

Posted by: Fred Flintstone at October 08, 2013 06:53 AM (BDU/a)

257 Nice segue, Dinosaur sex to Scalia....jus' sayin'

Posted by: socalcon at October 08, 2013 06:54 AM (vHlQ5)

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