Ace of Spades HQ

December 30, 2013

Ten Years of Nonsense: Howard Fineman Has Nothing to Say So He Gets Falling Down Drunk and Gushes about Barack Obama
— Ace

Originally posted January 3, 2007. This was before Barack Obama even announced his intention to run, IIRC. However, progressive "journalists" were already smitten with him over his droning 2004 DNC speech.

Howard Fineman rarely has anything to say but he's paid good money to say it. This annoys me -- I also rarely have anything to say, but I'm not paid good money to say it.

I got very annoyed reading a column of his in which he regurgitated the most obvious bromides about what kind of candidate would win an election. Absolutely zero thought went into it, and absolutely zero insight came out of it.

So I imagined -- and I bet this is actually more true than false -- that these idiots just go to a bar, get drunk, start spouting nonsense, and then rush home to write that nonsense down when they remember they have a column due at noon the next day.

BTW: Don't go commenting in old posts; the system will read comments in dead posts as spam and ban you. That's why I'm publishing these in "new" posts.

Original post below. Howard Fineman truly is an idiot. Read his bold statements about what the public wants in their next president -- "NO IDEOLOGUES, PLEASE;" "KNOW THE MIDDLE CLASS" -- and tell me if each of them is not either utterly obvious, or cutesy Bush-bashing disguised, as Time and Newsweek occasionally like to pretend, as nonpartisan horse-race analysis.

Gee, the public wants a "SERIOUS STUDENT" this time? I can't imagine whom Howard Fineman is saying they don't want.

And that thing about "ideologues"? As always, Howard, an "ideologue" is someone who believes things you don't. If he believes in the stuff you believe in, he's just "principled." I doubt very much if Fineman or his nitwit liberal "source" for this pap finds the Democrats' lockstep enthusiasm for an increased minimum wage to be the fetish of "ideologues" at all -- no, that's just plain ol' horse sense.

"WASHINGTON EXPERIENCE NOT NECESSARY"? Are you shittin' me? This country hasn't elected someone directly from Congress since frigging Kennedy and Howard Fineman's here to give us the inside scoop that a career in Washington may not be a prerequisite for the presidency?

In related news, water is wet, night is dark, and the "cycle of violence" continues to spiral out of control in the age-old dog-squirrel conflict.

Anyway. It's so stupid I've quoted almost the entirety of it below.

I've Got Nothin'

I'm completely tapped. I haven't had an original or interesting thought since 1985, and that one was about selling cinnamon-raisin bread (just like the bagels!), but it turned out they already were doing that. So, I guess it wasn't original. But I thought it was interesting. Then again, I'm a fucking moron.

WEB EXCLUSIVE COMMENTARY

By Howard Fineman
Newsweek
Updated: 2 hours, 16 minutes ago

Jan. 3, 2007 - Now that the 38th president has been laid to rest, the capital can take up the main business of 2007: trying to figure out who will be the 44th. What type of leader does the country want? Here is my sense of it, based on talking to politicians and party strategists from both sides of the aisle (the left side, and the center-left side) and voters here and around the nation. And when I say "voters," I mean politicians and party strategist; they vote too, you know. So, basically, I called up my friend and met him at a Georgetown bar to knock this thing out on Newsweek's dime.

MAMMALS ONLY PLEASE
It might be considered phylumist to suggest, but the American people feel most comforted by a leader who shares similar values to themselves -- such as giving birth to live young, being warm-blooded, and having an endoskeleton supporting their body weight. "The American people have briefly flirted with non-mammalian candidates," says Dan Pfeiffer, a former staffer to the Evan Bayh campaign, as he tries to close out nineteens in our cricket rubber-match. "But they find reptiles too cold, they don't like they way their tongues flicker out and they don't get the whole 'swallowing mice whole' thing."

His argument rings true to me. Perhaps it's because I'm on my ninth dirty martini, maybe it's because I'm still bothered, somewhere deep inside, by the short-lived NBC science-fiction series V, a show which pitted reptiles who looked like humans against actor Marc Singer, a human who looked like a reptile. But for whatever reason, our next President will almost certainly be a human being, or at least be both bipedal and mammalian, maybe a big friendly dog like Scooby-Doo or, better yet, First Officer Spock.

"The Roadmap to Peace...? Fascinating."

IT'S PARTY TIME-- *THIRD* PARTY TIME, THAT IS
The public is tired of the same binary choice in their President's party affiliation. "Historically," Dan Pheiffer says as he orders us round of Kamikazes, "the public has only had two choices for president. Those on the right could chose the Republican Party. Those on the left could choose the Communist Party. But many of us wish there were, I don't know, some sort of new, exciting democratic alternative between those two extremes."

And that's the sort of party America wants this time 'round.

Both Pfeiffer and I put on our "thinky looks" as we try to imagine what that third party might be.

B.Y.O.H.
Pfeiffer tells me he's fairly confident that the next president will have a functioning head, preferably attached to his body.

There was a time, to be sure, when the country seemed ready to embrace a headless President, one whose suddenly-truncated neck bubbled over with red grue, whether he frightened the children or not. But those carefree, less-judgmental days seem to have passed like the Age of Aquarius and my own late-eighties crack addiction.

Pfeiffer moves on to eighteens, plugging a double and a triple, and going up 36 points. "The public wants its president to look them in the eye," he says, now nailing another double, just to be a points-douche. "And for a candidate to look you in the eye, he himself must have an eye, and that implies a head. The public is tired of turning on the TV set and looking at blow-dried politicians with neck-stumps whose severed esophagi gurgling up saliva and stomach acid as they try, futilely, to speak. Quite frankly, it's a bad look."

And Pfeiffer is equally bearish on candidates with more than one head. "Just the standard number, I think," he says. "It's like the number of men you should have sex with before committing to heterosexuality -- zero's too few, nine's too many. Somewhere in the middle would be nice."

NO SERIAL KILLERS OR CHILD RAPISTS NEED APPLY
The popularity of William Bennet's The Book of Virtues suggests that the American public is still concerned with issues of character. Although the public is willing to forgive a candidate for his transgressions, a candidate must still be relatively clean, even in this post-Clinton age.

First among those disqualifying transgressions: being a serial killer or a child rapist. A candidate must be certain he has no "skeletons in his closet" or, for that matter, skeletons in his basement crawl-spaces or vegetable garden. "This eliminates Dennis Kucinich, unfortunately," Pfeiffer says. Then he winks flirtatiously at what he thinks is a "woman" but which I can see, based on the telltale signs, is actually a transexual.

We both begin chugging triple-shots of bourbon to drown out the gnawing tedious obviousness of our discussion. "I'm not one for predictions," Pfeiffer says, "But I will make you one guarantee about the next president: He will have absolutely no history of stalking, killing, and eating his fellow human beings."

That seems strict. Not even one?

"Well perhaps one or two," he allows, "but only if he can somehow incorporate it into his biography, and explain to the American public the lessens he's learned from his cannibalism, and how that's taught him about the insecurity of the middle class, and how Mexicans need papers or, I don't know, whatever the fuck he's talking about. God, I think I'm getting fucking drunk."

By the way-- that "woman" I thought was a transexual? Turns out I was wrong.

It was a cigarette machine. It did have big hands, though.

That last round of Dewers and LSD was a bad idea.

THE CANDIDATE'S NAME SHOULD BE A PERFECT ANAGRAM OF "ORACK BABAMA"
This is the key consideration, both Pfeiffer and I decide, as we now move on to straight tequilla shots and have now been asked to stop playing darts since we began drunkenly spraying them around the room with less precision than a Palestinian terrorist in a Rome airport.

"I think the next Preshident should be Orack Babama," I say, and then realize my mistake. "I jussht said Orack Babama."

"That'shh funny," Pfeiffer says, and spills his drink all over his crotch. "You sshaid Orack Babama."

"Orack Babama," I say again.

"He's a very attractive candidate," Pfeiffer says. "Very attractive. I'd break my Rule of Nine for him, if you know what I mean."

There is an uncomfortable silence, which seems as good a time as any to spark up a bowl of crack.

"You're the bessshht," Pfeiffer tells me. I shake him off as he grabs my shoulder. "No, no lishhten to me. I love you, man. I serioushly love you."

He then falls off his chair as I take a wild swipe at grabbing the waitress' cooter.

"Orack Babama," we both say as the bouncers haul us out and toss us onto the cold Georgetown pavement.

"So what'shh thish article going to be about?" he asks as we collect ourselves up, wobbling, from the ground.

"Oh I don't know, politicshhh or shomething," I say as I vomit on to a stray cat. "No one readsh thish shit anyhow. It's Newsweek. Now let me bang this stupid article out, and then we can go see if we can double-team that cigarette machine."

Posted by: Ace at 12:43 PM | Comments (170)
Post contains 1710 words, total size 10 kb.

1 Howard Fineman truly is an idiot link reflects his incompetence.

Posted by: panzernashorn at December 30, 2013 12:46 PM (MhA4j)

2 Boy Trapped in Refrigerator. Eats Own Foot.

Posted by: © Sponge at December 30, 2013 12:47 PM (xmcEQ)

3 Uh oh. Pixy's eating comments.......

Posted by: © Sponge at December 30, 2013 12:48 PM (xmcEQ)

4 They are smarter than us peeps, remember

Posted by: zipline Bob at December 30, 2013 12:48 PM (W6iIX)

5 Sugar plum pixies

Posted by: panzernashorn at December 30, 2013 12:49 PM (MhA4j)

6 Barack Obama is a stuttering clusterf*ck of a malignant traitor.

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) Ah, F It. at December 30, 2013 12:49 PM (PYAXX)

Wait

These are the new comments right?

Posted by: zipline Bob at December 30, 2013 12:49 PM (W6iIX)

8 AtC, to compensate for the trauma that Ace visited on you .. a Christina Hendricks Non-Spider pic

http://tinyurl.com/k498443

Posted by: kbdabear at December 30, 2013 12:51 PM (aTXUx)

9 "BTW: Don't go commenting in old posts; the system will read comments in dead posts as spam and ban you. That's why I'm publishing these in "new" posts." This might be perverse, but it's stuff like this that make me love this blog.

Posted by: rockhead at December 30, 2013 12:52 PM (jtTKf)

I take a wild swipe at grabbing the waitress' cooter.

I really don't think he is using this term properly

who but a psudo-intellectual grabs a cooter?

I would normally grab her a$$

Posted by: zipline Bob at December 30, 2013 12:52 PM (W6iIX)

11 I'm shaking so hard in an attempt to not laugh out loud that my neighbor asked if I was having a seizure.

Posted by: toby928© insists on talking about robots at December 30, 2013 12:52 PM (QupBk)

12 However, progressive "journalists" were already smitten with him over his droning 2004 DNC speech.

ISWYDT

Posted by: AltonJackson at December 30, 2013 12:53 PM (U3ouD)

13 Posted by: kbdabear at December 30, 2013 04:51 PM (aTXUx) It's a TRAP! Also, Bunk.

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) Ah, F It. at December 30, 2013 12:53 PM (PYAXX)

"BTW: Don't go commenting in old posts; the system will read comments in dead posts as spam and ban you. That's why I'm publishing these in "new" posts."

It's a trap yo!

Posted by: zipline Bob at December 30, 2013 12:53 PM (W6iIX)

15 BTW: Don't go commenting in old posts; the system will read comments in dead posts as spam and ban you. Does anyone else think Ace discovered this... ah... first hand? Like back when he banned himself?

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) Ah, F It. at December 30, 2013 12:56 PM (PYAXX)

16 It's a trap yo! It got me before Christmas and banished me to the Phantom Zone.

Posted by: toby928© insists on talking about robots at December 30, 2013 12:57 PM (QupBk)

>>>>Howard Fineman rarely has anything to say but he's paid good money to say it. This annoys me -- I also rarely have anything to say, but I'm not paid good money to say it.

Ace, ten years ago: "Man, this blogging shiznit is going to be Teh Next Hotness! Imma get in on the ground floor of this amazing opportunity and change teh world at.the.same.time. w00t!"

Posted by: Bigby's Golf Clapping Hands at December 30, 2013 12:57 PM (3ZtZW)

how old of comment is too old to be commenting on?

A day?

A week?

A month?

A year?

Posted by: zipline Bob at December 30, 2013 12:58 PM (W6iIX)

19 Wow - the more things change....

Posted by: Teresa in Fort Worth, TX at December 30, 2013 12:58 PM (PZ6/M)

20 It's funny because it's true! This annoys me -- I also rarely have anything to say, but I'm not paid good money to say it. Exactly! I bet the Horde could put together a thinky thought piece in these comments here about Why We Must Have A Woman Elected As President And We Mean A Real One Not A Fake Republican One and it will be better than anything that's about to be churned out.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Now with extra taunting. at December 30, 2013 12:59 PM (VtjlW)

21 18 how old of comment is too old to be commenting on?
A day?
A week?
A month?
A year? Posted by: zipline Bob at December 30, 2013 04:58 PM

It used to be after Lace Wigs or Laptop Battery made their first appearance

Posted by: kbdabear at December 30, 2013 01:00 PM (aTXUx)

22 I think this should be a new insult around here: "Ah, go post in an old thread!"

Posted by: Mama AJ at December 30, 2013 01:00 PM (SUKHu)

23 Not for nothing, but, Howie has a werry punchable face, do he not?

Posted by: Sherry McEvil, Stiletto Corsettes, shhh, be a little quieter, some of us are trying to sleep. at December 30, 2013 01:00 PM (kXoT0)

24 Fineman always sticks out in my mind as one of Olbermann's yes puppets when Keef had his MSNBC show. "You're exactly right, Keith." That was essentially the basis of any Fineman appearance. Should've just looped that on a tape recorder and played it into a mic. Fineman wouldn't have even needed to show up.

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at December 30, 2013 01:01 PM (oFCZn)

25 It used to be after Lace Wigs or Laptop Battery made their first appearance

Posted by: kbdabear at December 30, 2013 05:00 PM (aTXUx)

what about us bro!

Posted by: pitp fittings at December 30, 2013 01:01 PM (W6iIX)

26 now spammers who can spell also!!

Posted by: pipe fittings at December 30, 2013 01:02 PM (W6iIX)

27 AtC, to compensate for the trauma that Ace visited on you .. a Christina Hendricks Non-Spider pic http://tinyurl.com/k498443 Posted by: kbdabear at December 30, 2013 04:51 PM (aTXUx) I saw that! Thank you very much. You are off the list.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Now with extra taunting. at December 30, 2013 01:03 PM (VtjlW)

28 Exactly! I bet the Horde could put together a thinky thought piece in these comments here about Why We Must Have A Woman Elected As President And We Mean A Real One Not A Fake Republican One and it will be better than anything that's about to be churned out.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Now with extra taunting. at December 30, 2013 04:59 PM (VtjlW)

Of course, my Liege, we could begin with womyn with actual accomplishments, not those who have simply married well or some equivalent thereof for the ladies who like ladies. It is beyond ridiculous to suppose that Hillary would have ever made even Junior Partner at Rose Law Firm had she not been married to the Governor of her state.

Posted by: Sherry McEvil, Stiletto Corsettes, shhh, be a little quieter, some of us are trying to sleep. at December 30, 2013 01:03 PM (kXoT0)

29 Droning, but I turned to my wife and told her this effin guy was going to become president on style points alone. Nobody ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of Democrat voters.

Posted by: Beagle at December 30, 2013 01:04 PM (sOtz/)

It is eerily quite here

....

did some sort of mass banning happen?

Posted by: zipline Bob at December 30, 2013 01:04 PM (W6iIX)

31 >>Why We Must Have A Woman Elected As President And We Mean A Real One Not A Fake Republican One Hold on, I'm gonna tie it into the popularity of Duck Dynasty and insult Sarah Palin and quote the Bible all *at the same time*.

Posted by: Mama AJ at December 30, 2013 01:04 PM (SUKHu)

32 Wait. There's a "system" here?

Posted by: Bitter Clinger and All That (Unexpurgated Edition) at December 30, 2013 01:04 PM (LSDdO)

33 toby, I'm gonna go ahead and recommend RUSH. I think you'll like it.

Posted by: soothsayer at December 30, 2013 01:04 PM (ki07/)

34 "There is an uncomfortable silence, which seems as good a time as any to spark up a bowl of crack."-Ace God damn funny

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at December 30, 2013 01:06 PM (HVff2)

Woot !

we got the whole place to ourselves

Posted by: zipline Bob at December 30, 2013 01:06 PM (W6iIX)

36 I'm gonna go ahead and recommend RUSH. Is that a remake? Wasn't there a movie called Rush already? I mainlined 3 full seasons of Breaking Bad over the weekend and I got to say, it's not all that.

Posted by: toby928© insists on talking about robots at December 30, 2013 01:06 PM (QupBk)

37 Did someone mention they have a roadmap to a piece?

Posted by: Billy Jeff at December 30, 2013 01:07 PM (32Ze2)

38 But, in for a penny, in for a pound. I'll watch season 4 over the next couple of days, in between watching mid level SEC teams beat mid level teams from other conferences.

Posted by: toby928© insists on talking about robots at December 30, 2013 01:08 PM (QupBk)

39 Exactly! I bet the Horde could put together a thinky thought piece in these comments here about Why We Must Have A Woman Elected As President And We Mean A Real One Not A Fake Republican One and it will be better than anything that's about to be churned out. Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Now with extra taunting. at December 30, 2013 04:59 PM (VtjlW) Awww man, I feel one of thos "3 word stories" coming on. Ever done one of those? Where you can only write 3 words, then the next person writes 3, etc. etc. The Moron Horde presents: "Generic MSM opinion column: a 3-word story project."

Posted by: tsrblke, PhD(c) No Really! at December 30, 2013 01:09 PM (GaqMa)

40 There was a roomba in BB, so there's that.

Posted by: toby928© insists on talking about robots at December 30, 2013 01:09 PM (QupBk)

Those on the right could chose the Republican Party. Those on the left could choose the Communist Party.

--------------------------------------------

They chose........poorly.

But, I have to admit, they chose a group of people that got Orak elected twice to the presidency.

Posted by: Soona at December 30, 2013 01:09 PM (v44X4)

42 >>This might be perverse, but it's stuff like this that make me love this blog. It adds an element of danger to the normal commenting process. Gotta keep your head on a swivel around here.

Posted by: JackStraw at December 30, 2013 01:10 PM (g1DWB)

It might be considered phylumist to suggest,

The word you've entered isn't in the dictionary. Click on a spelling suggestion

no way is he using words not in the dictionary would he?

Posted by: zipline Bob at December 30, 2013 01:10 PM (W6iIX)

44 Posted by: zipline Bob at December 30, 2013 05:10 PM (W6iIX) He is, it's a the Phylum version of "racist" Ace is riffing on the people who cry "RAAAACCIIISTT"

Posted by: tsrblke, PhD(c) No Really! at December 30, 2013 01:11 PM (GaqMa)

45 Srsly, who are these people? Is it safe to assume that if I continue to ignore them, Ace won't mention them, either?

Posted by: Just a guy staring at images of Svetlana Khodchenkova at December 30, 2013 01:12 PM (1/4XQ)

46 Robots rule, mammals drool!

Posted by: toby928© insists on talking about robots at December 30, 2013 01:12 PM (QupBk)

47 RUSH is not a remake. It's about the rivalry between Formula 1 drivers Hunt and Lauda in the mid '70's.

Posted by: soothsayer at December 30, 2013 01:12 PM (ki07/)

48 Slightly off topic, but appropo: "Star Drunk: a film by Drunk People" - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yPrtQ9AdoM0&feature=share

Posted by: The Notorious M.E.G. at December 30, 2013 01:12 PM (jYDIW)

49 Boy, you sure used to do funny bits, Ace..

Posted by: Chi-Town Jerry at December 30, 2013 01:13 PM (b/lt+)

50 It's about the rivalry between Formula 1 drivers Hunt and Lauda in the mid '70's. Ah. I think I saw a trailer for that, including Niki's horrible fire.

Posted by: toby928© insists on talking about robots at December 30, 2013 01:13 PM (QupBk)

51 He is, it's a the Phylum version of "racist" And, yes, there is such a thing as speciesist. Academia, naturally.

Posted by: AmishDude at December 30, 2013 01:14 PM (xSegX)

52 If you *can't wait* to see the next episode of BB, then it's not for you.

Posted by: soothsayer at December 30, 2013 01:14 PM (ki07/)

53 Droning, but I turned to my wife and told her this effin guy was going to become president on style points alone. Nobody ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of Democrat voters.

Posted by: Beagle at December 30, 2013 05:04 PM (sOtz/)

Yep, and even though Mooch had just introduced him as being an American Senator born in Kenya, I knew he would be POTUS. I remember my flesh literally crawling with dread. Then I went and did research on him and the feelings just intensified. I will say this, I severely underestimated just how bad and lawless he was going to be...mainly because I had not factored in ValJar being the Shadow POTUS. It is so strange to see the selfsame press that insisted that Cheney was running Bush like a puppet, never has a word to saw about ValJar.

Posted by: Sherry McEvil, Stiletto Corsettes, shhh, be a little quieter, some of us are trying to sleep. at December 30, 2013 01:14 PM (kXoT0)

54 no way is he using words not in the dictionary would he? Posted by: zipline Bob
......
Hardly.. would William F. Buckley Jr. be a commenter here if Ace did? Huh?

Posted by: Chi-Town Jerry at December 30, 2013 01:15 PM (b/lt+)

55 Posted by: Chi-Town Jerry at December 30, 2013 05:13 PM (b/lt+)

Note: so far they seem to all be from before 2008.

That's also about the time Ace got less funny.

Now what could've happened in 2008 to set Ace off?

Hmmm . . . . what event happened in 2008 that was a total bummer AND has remained so since. Sometimes even achieving maximum bummeritude. (the only achievement so far discerned)

Posted by: Bitter Clinger and All That (Unexpurgated Edition) at December 30, 2013 01:16 PM (LSDdO)

56 Hardly.. would William F. Buckley Jr. be a commenter here if Ace did? Huh?

Posted by: Chi-Town Jerry at December 30, 2013 05:15 PM (b/lt+)

or me either

Posted by: Karl Rove at December 30, 2013 01:17 PM (W6iIX)

57 never has a word to saw about ValJar. speaking of reptiles.

Posted by: toby928© insists on talking about robots at December 30, 2013 01:18 PM (QupBk)

58 Just stopping in to congratulate Ace and the cobs on ten years of amazingly consistent work. And good work. Also good. Not a day goes by that I don't think about this place and the people who make it great. I miss you all. I'd plug my current client (in my sig) but Andy would probably break my fingers. Happy New Year, friends!

Posted by: Truman North, Moron Emeritus at December 30, 2013 01:19 PM (cJf3s)

59 or me either *cough*

Posted by: Aaron Burr at December 30, 2013 01:19 PM (QupBk)

60 from today's mail (and what a punch line)...

Thanks for standing with our Republican team and fighting for our conservative principles.

As we prepare the battleground for 2014, we need patriots like you by our side now more than ever.

2014 will be an uphill battle, as we're going up against the well-stocked Obama Machine that's determined to take total control of Washington and continue to fundamentally transform America.

We must protect our principles and defend our basic liberties by defeating these liberal bureaucrats.

You and I know what makes America an exceptional nation. It's not just a matter of who we are. It's the record of what we've done.

We have stood and fought for freedom, opportunity and free enterprise. But sadly, under the reign of President Obama and Washington Liberals, these founding, fundamental American principles are under attack.

That's what's at stake this election. That's what we're fighting for to defend. And that's why it's essential that you commit to our cause by contributing right now.

The RNC needs to raise millions of dollars to build their ground operation, enhance their engagement with voters in all communities, and arm the GOP grassroots army with critical data and technology.

We must do the hard work now to get Republicans elected up and down the ballot who will fight for our commonsense, conservative policies and make our communities and our country stronger.

Let's band together to defeat Democrats and defend our principles in 2014.

Show you're committed to helping secure GOP victories in 2014 -- contribute $14 to the RNC end of year campaign.

Thanks,

Senator John McCain

Posted by: Mallfly at December 30, 2013 01:19 PM (bJm7W)

61 And, yes, there is such a thing as speciesist. Academia, naturally. Posted by: AmishDude at December 30, 2013 05:14 PM (xSegX) Yes, well my evil plan to rid the world of that term and replace it with the much more apropos "Normal human being" hit a speed bump

. I'm narrowing down the project to something slightly less "Fuck you Peter Singer." And more "wow these people making the rules are really dumb aren't they." I decided that perhaps writing a "fuck you peter singer" project should be more of a long term thing.

Posted by: tsrblke, PhD(c) No Really! at December 30, 2013 01:19 PM (GaqMa)

62 speaking of reptiles.

Posted by: toby928Â© insists on talking about robots at December 30, 2013 05:18 PM (QupBk)

gack

Posted by: zipline Bob at December 30, 2013 01:19 PM (W6iIX)

63 STFU, Burr.

Posted by: Alexander Hamilton at December 30, 2013 01:20 PM (QupBk)

64 So I imagined -- and I bet this is actually more true than false -- that these idiots just go to a bar, get drunk, start spouting nonsense, and then rush home to write that nonsense down when they remember they have a column due at noon the next day. A smart person would use a tape recorder so they could stay, drink, AND remember it all.

Posted by: rickb223 at December 30, 2013 01:20 PM (CRyse)

65 Is it just me or are there way too many gingers on that Global Popsicle tour?

Plus one idiot throwing a snowball at the camera.

A picture for history and they've gotta do that crap.

Posted by: Bitter Clinger and All That at December 30, 2013 01:21 PM (LSDdO)

66 Heh. Ace said "nitwit". He really needs to bring that one back. Heh Heh. Fucking comedy gold man. Funniest thing I've read in weeks. About the time I could have been reading this originally I was arguing with some troll on LGF and my Lib friends.

Posted by: Daybrother at December 30, 2013 01:22 PM (BwGPs)

67 Posted by: Mallfly at December 30, 2013 05:19 PM (bJm7W How could you cut & paste without becoming violently ill?

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at December 30, 2013 01:23 PM (HVff2)

68 Posted by: Mallfly at December 30, 2013 05:19 PM (bJm7W)

I'd send them an unsigned check with

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH printed all over it.

Posted by: Bitter Clinger and All That at December 30, 2013 01:23 PM (LSDdO)

69 *cough*

Posted by: Aaron Burr at December 30, 2013 05:19 PM (QupBk)

Ummmmm

Posted by: Charlemagne at December 30, 2013 01:23 PM (W6iIX)

70 re 67: you should see the ones I get from OFA, Gillibrand, and Fauxahontas Warren. Democrats seems quite obsessed with the name "Koch".

Posted by: Mallfly at December 30, 2013 01:25 PM (bJm7W)

71 A smart person would use a tape recorder so they could stay, drink, AND remember it all. Flaming globes, Sigmund!!! Flaming globes!!

Posted by: Jerry Seinfeld at December 30, 2013 01:25 PM (/xHXU)

72 This is the shit that makes this place a smart military blog!

Posted by: Mallamutt, at December 30, 2013 01:25 PM (h+mNm)

73 It's time for a year end Ring out your Socks thread. I've got a dozen, at least, that haven't appeared this year.

Posted by: dick cheese at December 30, 2013 01:26 PM (QupBk)

>>>>Show you're committed to helping secure GOP victories in 2014 -- contribute $14 to the RNC end of year campaign.

14 cents would be more like it

address it to Senator Wacko Bird

Posted by: zipline Bob at December 30, 2013 01:26 PM (W6iIX)

75 Stalin spent a lot of his time building up his cult of personality, or "cult of the individual" as an Antistalinist Communist would refer to it, so as to imply that Stalin's biggest failing was insufficient conformity to the principle of collective leadership. Obama, on the other hand, seems to have mostly walked into a cult of personality of others' making. He doesn't even have to allocate neurons to coming up with brilliant ideas such as the transcendental nature of his pants, his "incredible" brilliance, and amazing ability to "Read a Teleprompter while Partly Black."

Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at December 30, 2013 01:27 PM (VYM4n)

76 0bama is a Serious Student of Cock and Coke. That's about it.

Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at December 30, 2013 01:27 PM (VYM4n)

77 Democrats seems quite obsessed with the name "Koch". That's because they know that's all the Koch they're ever going to get.

Posted by: Sean Bannion at December 30, 2013 01:27 PM (/xHXU)

78 @70: I've said it before, all the fun will leave liberalism the second they find out it's pronounced "Coke".

Posted by: Ian S. at December 30, 2013 01:28 PM (102Hx)

79 >>>>as the transcendental nature of his pants, his "incredible" brilliance, and amazing ability to "Read a Teleprompter while Partly Black."

Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at December 30, 2013 05:27 PM (VYM4n)

I so got this!

Now stand back and watch this !

Posted by: David Brooks at December 30, 2013 01:29 PM (W6iIX)

80 "NO SERIAL KILLERS OR CHILD RAPISTS NEED APPLY"

Only because Howard couldn't peer into the future to uncover the presumed and alleged truth about Harry "Searchlight Strangler" Reid...

Posted by: Stu-22 at December 30, 2013 01:30 PM (AiYlm)

81 Of course, both Lady Gaga and Justin Bieber are superior to Obama in every respect aside from alleged Blackness, but in a Postracial America, that sort of deficiency and/or sin is simply intolerable.

Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at December 30, 2013 01:30 PM (VYM4n)

82 I can't help wondering if it has anything to do with the fact that the only famous Koch most people know of was NY's Ed Koch, and he was, you know, one of those... (no, not that.)

Posted by: Mallfly at December 30, 2013 01:31 PM (bJm7W)

****

I so got this!

Now stand back and watch this !

Posted by: David Brooks at December 30, 2013 05:29 PM (W6iIX)

er, Now stand back and read this column !!

(sometimes I'm premature on 'things')

Posted by: David Brooks at December 30, 2013 01:31 PM (W6iIX)

84 I truly believe Obama's handlers were gobsmacked at how much codswallop the media and the public would believe coming from him.

I think they regret now some of the positions they took because they could have done so much more damage. (I know, I know)

If they had actually taken some time and spent it on things that would allow them to remain in power back earlier, we would not be fearing a coup but an actual legitimate extension of his regime.

Posted by: Bitter Clinger and All That at December 30, 2013 01:33 PM (LSDdO)

85 and he was, you know, one of those... Confirmed bachelor?

Posted by: dick cheese at December 30, 2013 01:34 PM (QupBk)

86 But... but.... he said I was the only person that he let gush on him.

Posted by: Reggie Love at December 30, 2013 01:34 PM (Zswg6)

87 Apropos of nothing, someone just offered me free Sugar Bowl tickets. I'm sorely tempted.

Posted by: dick cheese at December 30, 2013 01:35 PM (QupBk)

88 "27 AtC, to compensate for the trauma that Ace visited on you .. a Christina Hendricks Non-Spider pic http://tinyurl.com/k498443 Posted by: kbdabear at December 30, 2013 04:51 PM (aTXUx) I saw that! Thank you very much. You are off the list. " Perhaps her Highness could also take off her long list a fellow long suffering Browns fan who has watched a once great franchise, turn to utter crap, and become a laughing stock. Current buffoonery not withstanding.

Posted by: Itchytriggerfinger at December 30, 2013 01:35 PM (XwN3V)

89 I couldnÂ’t read all of that. It was trash in 2007 & even worse now.

Posted by: Carol at December 30, 2013 01:36 PM (z4WKX)

90 Obama was and is a vanilla Democrat Party apparatchik. His "Lack of Washington Experience" turned out to be somewhat less than beneficial.

Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at December 30, 2013 01:37 PM (VYM4n)

91 I feel like ace is re-gifting us with these posts.

Posted by: Dr Spank at December 30, 2013 01:37 PM (DpEwG)

92 AoSHQ- Come for the politics, stay for the appliance sex.

Posted by: Hollowpoint at December 30, 2013 01:38 PM (SY2Kh)

93 Ace, 2004 dem convention was here in Boston and they were in love with keynote speaker from DNC, BHO! I didnÂ’t watch but read about it in Boston Herald, in 2004 I knew he was full of it. What is wrong with these people?

Posted by: Carol at December 30, 2013 01:38 PM (z4WKX)

94 As did his alleged lack of ideology.

Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at December 30, 2013 01:38 PM (VYM4n)

95 Posted by: Carol at December 30, 2013 05:36 PM (z4WKX)

You do realize that's a parody of what an article by Fineman would look like written by Ace?

Posted by: Bitter Clinger and All That at December 30, 2013 01:39 PM (LSDdO)

96 And "deep insight" into the Middle Class.

Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at December 30, 2013 01:39 PM (VYM4n)

97 Since I didn't even know who this Fineman dude is, I looked him up... he's now editorial director for Puff Hos.

A worthy post, I'm sure.

Posted by: GnuBreed at December 30, 2013 01:40 PM (cHZB7)

98 Howard Fineman? Never heard of him.

Posted by: Charlie Gibson at December 30, 2013 01:41 PM (Pr6hk)

99 What is wrong with these people? Â“He remembered the pride-filled glow that had swamped Gyoko's face and he wondered again at the bewildering gullibility of people. How baffling it was that even the most cunning and clever people would frequently see only what they wanted to see, and would rarely look beyond the thinnest of facades. Or they would ignore reality, dismissing it as the facade. And then, when their whole world fell to pieces and they were on their knees slitting their bellies or cutting their throats, or cast out into the freezing world, they would tear their topknots or rend their clothes and bewail their karma, blaming gods or kami or luck or their lords or husbands or vassals -- anything or anything -- but never themselves.Â”

Posted by: dick cheese at December 30, 2013 01:41 PM (QupBk)

100 We need a Native American Marsupial is on the ticket. The age of Elizabeth Warren approaches and you morons better run and hide.

Posted by: Sandra Fluke at December 30, 2013 01:42 PM (hpgw1)

101 I'm pretty sure Howard enjoys the smell of the pipe.

Posted by: Andy Dufresne at December 30, 2013 01:42 PM (Pr6hk)

102 drying bennehy

Posted by: vapors at December 30, 2013 01:42 PM (3bjii)

103 Mammals only.... RAYCIST

Posted by: Lizard People at December 30, 2013 01:43 PM (Pr6hk)

104 Don't go commenting in old posts; the system will read comments in dead posts as spam and ban you. But don't tell ergie this - send him to the old posts.

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars™ [/i] [/b] [/s] [/u] at December 30, 2013 01:43 PM (HsTG8)

105 To save this thread, Morons I present Candice Swanepoel
http://tinyurl.com/k4uvbqq

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at December 30, 2013 01:44 PM (f1IeF)

106 according to Jonathan Alter's new book, "Facing free-spending billionaires, Fox News, and a concerted effort in 19 states to tilt the election by suppressing Democratic votes, Obama repelled the assault and navigated the nation back to the center."

As Hitler said (Stern radio show fans will know what I'm referring to), never forget that we must never forget that the leftists think they are the middle of the road centrists. (could decide if I should have written "leftists think THEY are" or "leftists think they ARE")

Posted by: Mallfly at December 30, 2013 01:44 PM (bJm7W)

107 Fineman has inferior creases... a peasant in Manhattan terms

Posted by: David Brooks at December 30, 2013 01:44 PM (Pr6hk)

108 Reading of his accomplishments a bit more, it is noted that Howard is also an anal-yst for NBC/MSNBC and his favorite fetish dream is to suck on TFG's toes while citing Scripture.

Scripture = DNC talking points

Posted by: GnuBreed at December 30, 2013 01:46 PM (cHZB7)

109 Journalism is allegedly a thoroughly subjective and yet thoroughly objective field. As such, journalists cannot be judged or evaluated according to any objective standards or criteria. Journalism is, after all, thoroughly subjective. And, in any case, it cannot be adjudicated by mere serfs. And since journalism is objective, journalists cannot be judged or evaluated since everything they say and do is thoroughly objective. Sophistry, on the other hand, is a well developped (sic) and understood art form.

Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at December 30, 2013 01:46 PM (VYM4n)

110 Fineman has inferior creases... a peasant in Manhattan terms

Posted by: David Brooks at December 30, 2013 05:44 PM (Pr6hk)

you got that right

Posted by: David Brooks at December 30, 2013 01:46 PM (W6iIX)

111 I've got a bigger dick than Fineman

Posted by: Janet Reno at December 30, 2013 01:47 PM (Pr6hk)

112 101 I'm pretty sure Howard enjoys the smell of the pipe. Posted by: Andy Dufresne at December 30, 2013 05:42 PM (Pr6hk) He's been reduced to working for AOL. The next step is an exhaust pipe.

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at December 30, 2013 01:48 PM (oFCZn)

113 Gabe tweeted this :
Congrats, MSNBC. You finally did something so awful, CNN is covering you :
http://tinyurl.com/myzhydc

Posted by: Dr Spank at December 30, 2013 01:48 PM (DpEwG)

114 re 90: lack of experience is a plus for a Dem. Jimmy Carter ran on his having only four years as governor of Georgia, but Reagan in 1980 was attacked for only having eight years experience as the governor of California.

Just like special prosecutors are only a good idea when a Repub is in the White House.

Like the Good Book says, Democrats can't see the ice in their moat.

Posted by: Mallfly at December 30, 2013 01:49 PM (bJm7W)

115 Howard Fineman??? I loved your brother Mo and Shemp

Posted by: Low Information Senator at December 30, 2013 01:49 PM (Pr6hk)

116 So that's what talking out your squeekhole ~~sounds~~ reads like! Cheese 'n' rice, what a 'tard...

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars™ [/i] [/b] [/s] [/u] at December 30, 2013 01:49 PM (HsTG8)

117 re 111: and bigger than Fine, Howard and Fine, too.

Posted by: Mallfly at December 30, 2013 01:49 PM (bJm7W)

118 The article was so good NBC took it down!

Posted by: navybrat at December 30, 2013 01:50 PM (AW7Gr)

119 It seems unlikely that, were people left to their own devices, instead of being nagged incessantly "for their own good," Obama would have ever become President.

Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at December 30, 2013 01:50 PM (VYM4n)

120 Show you're committed to helping secure GOP victories in 2014 -- contribute $14 to the RNC end of year campaign.

Thanks,

Senator John McCain
Posted by: Mallfly at December 30, 2013 05:19 PM

Daddy, some guy with the same name as you sent hater mail!!

Posted by: Meggie McBoobs at December 30, 2013 01:50 PM (aTXUx)

121 re 120: ha!

Posted by: Mallfly at December 30, 2013 01:51 PM (bJm7W)

122 Crap. I just realized what day it is... If I want liquor, I have to hit the ABC store tonight. I am NOT going tomorrow. You morons that can buy booze at the grocery store don't know how lucky you are. One more reason that Va. sucks. McDonnell put all the local tunnels in private hands so they can toll them (built and paid for 50 years ago) but couldn't privatize liquor sales?

Posted by: shredded chi, the young curmudgeon at December 30, 2013 01:51 PM (hW6y3)

123 So, journalists work hard for their money and America, nay, the whole world, owes them a profound debt of gratitude.

Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at December 30, 2013 01:52 PM (VYM4n)

124 Elephants, goats and cows all pee for 21 seconds.
http://tinyurl.com/kllf8xv

Your welcome.

Posted by: Dr Spank at December 30, 2013 01:53 PM (DpEwG)

125 AoSHQ- Come for the politics, stay for the appliance sex. Posted by: Hollowpoint The nicklefuckery never ends...

Posted by: rickb223 at December 30, 2013 01:54 PM (CRyse)

126 On the other hand, Obama has stopped/reversed and created/saved Global Warming. So there's that.

Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at December 30, 2013 01:54 PM (VYM4n)

127 Show you're committed to helping secure GOP victories in 2014 -- contribute $14 to the RNC end of year campaign. Thanks, Senator John McCain Sure dude.... I guess YOU can afford it after the decrease of Military retirement... Oh... wait... it won't affect YOU, as you are past the age of 62.... so of course you voted FOR it... So... as the traditional Naval retort states.... Blow me...

Posted by: Lazurus Long..... at December 30, 2013 01:54 PM (lZBBB)

128 Yes; MSNBC covered itself in glory-Not-making fun of an adopted baby who is no doubt loved by his family. I somehow doubt they would make fun of a gay couple adopting a black child.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at December 30, 2013 01:56 PM (BC6cY)

129 And, in fact, by crippling the economy and Impoverishing/"Social Justicing" the Middle Class, Obama might have very well reduced carbon dioxide emissions.

Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at December 30, 2013 01:57 PM (VYM4n)

130 Evening hoard... I once vomited on a stray cat...

Posted by: OG Celtic-American at December 30, 2013 01:58 PM (vHRtU)

131 re 128: they would if the gay couple voted Republican

Posted by: Mallfly at December 30, 2013 01:58 PM (bJm7W)

132 Sorry; Meant that I doubt they would make fun of a gay white couple adopting a black child.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at December 30, 2013 01:58 PM (BC6cY)

133 What if a black gay hand-capable Santanist NAMBLE Board Members couple adopted a white Christian Boy? 'INCLUSIVE!'

Posted by: OG Celtic-American at December 30, 2013 02:00 PM (vHRtU)

134 Howard, an "ideologue" is someone who believes things you don't. If he believes in the stuff you believe in, he's just "principled." I doubt very much if Fineman or his nitwit liberal "source" for this pap finds the Democrats' lockstep enthusiasm for an increased minimum wage to be the fetish of "ideologues" at all -- no, that's just plain ol' horse sense. "You can't place a quarrel with me Thomas!" "What is it you value in your bulldogs? Gripping is it not?" To be "ill conditioned to meet one's master", not nearly terrifying enough for Norfolk. It's a good movie A Man for All Seasons. A great actor Paul Scofield.

Posted by: Deety at December 30, 2013 02:01 PM (ad4e8)

135 And if carbon dioxide emissions are reduced, the Middle Class will automatically fare better. Because Brilliance. Later, all. God bless. :-)

Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at December 30, 2013 02:02 PM (VYM4n)

136 I saw that 'news' story by MSNBC over on FB. My comment was - They are Trig-u-lating again with their bigotry.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at December 30, 2013 02:02 PM (f1IeF)

137 100 We need a Native American Marsupial is on the ticket. The age of Elizabeth Warren approaches and you morons better run and hide. Possum / Pussy 2016!

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars™ [/i] [/b] [/s] [/u] at December 30, 2013 02:02 PM (HsTG8)

138 DiT pointed this out : Jay Z And Beyonce Spend Six-Large On Sex Toys
http://tinyurl.com/l43vhlj

Posted by: Dr Spank at December 30, 2013 02:03 PM (DpEwG)

139 "A Man For All Seasons" was a wonderful movie (and play) and Paul Scofield a great actor.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at December 30, 2013 02:04 PM (BC6cY)

140 I saw Howard Fineman open for Cleveland Steamer in '09. At the Lyceum, I believe it was.

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars™ [/i] [/b] [/s] [/u] at December 30, 2013 02:04 PM (HsTG8)

141 Phil Robinson/Sarah Palin 2016

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at December 30, 2013 02:04 PM (f1IeF)

142 Off to review CCard statements from '13. BBLÂ…

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars™ [/i] [/b] [/s] [/u] at December 30, 2013 02:05 PM (HsTG8)

143 OT

WASHINGTON Â— The personal e-mail account of a State Department whisÂtleÂÂblower was hacked, and four years worth of messages Â— some detailing alleged wrongdoing at the agency Â— were deleted, The Post has learned.

...

The alleged coverups included keeping quiet separate IG investigations that found that members of then-Secretary Hillary Rodham ClintonÂ’s security detail had engaged hookers and that the Belgian ambassador had solicited underage prostitutes.

These were among a string of investigations by the service, responsible for protecting dignitaries and investigating crimes within the department, that were allegedly derailed by senior officials, including one instance of interference by Clinton Chief of Staff Cheryl Mills.

http://tinyurl.com/keomyw3

They should check Sandy Berger's pants.

Posted by: noone, really [/i] [/b] at December 30, 2013 02:06 PM (5ikDv)

144 Herr Doktor Spank, Beyonce also offends astronauts and families of Challenger disaster by using an audio clip from that tragic accident in a new song.

http://tinyurl.com/m86f9g8

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at December 30, 2013 02:06 PM (f1IeF)

145
We are all deserving of a second chance, and I'm ready, rested, and eager to establish my credentials for public office.

PS - I'm no longer wearing a witch outfit or banging my male friends.

Posted by: Christine O'Donnell at December 30, 2013 02:08 PM (pJF+c)

146
Once upon a time my family adopted a baby deer, raised it to maturity, and then butchered it for dinner.

Posted by: Phil Robertson at December 30, 2013 02:10 PM (pJF+c)

147 "how old of comment is too old to be commenting on?" Just after the war of the bowed weapons gets heated. And well before high-paying job offers working out of your house.

Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at December 30, 2013 02:10 PM (eHIJJ)

148 Once upon a time my family adopted a baby deer, raised it to maturity, and then butchered it for dinner. It's the Circle of Life.

Posted by: dick cheese at December 30, 2013 02:11 PM (QupBk)

149
I'm gonna drop my best ball on New Years Eve, and my girlfriend will be standing by my side.

Posted by: Sonia Sotomayor at December 30, 2013 02:12 PM (pJF+c)

150 phylumist A perfectly cromulent word.

Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at December 30, 2013 02:13 PM (eHIJJ)

151 Hakuna Matata...

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at December 30, 2013 02:14 PM (f1IeF)

152 Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD)

I saw that. Classy.

Posted by: Dr Spank at December 30, 2013 02:14 PM (DpEwG)

153 The word that comes to mind when I look at Candice Swanepole is supple.

Posted by: Kreplach at December 30, 2013 02:15 PM (Xkr8I)

154 134 A Man for All Seasons. All the laws have been cut down, the devil has turned around, and few will stand in the wind that blows.

Posted by: Angel with a sword at December 30, 2013 02:15 PM (hpgw1)

155 Note: I totes up my year end $ and made donations to Ace, Insta, and Calibre e-book management software... Do it you hosers!

Posted by: OG Celtic-American at December 30, 2013 02:16 PM (vHRtU)

156 McPain: "The RNC needs to raise millions of dollars to build their ground operation, enhance their engagement with voters in all communities, and arm the GOP grassroots army with critical data and technology." Get it from the Chamber of Commerce, Ahole. Or your natural constituency, Team Progressive.

Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at December 30, 2013 02:19 PM (eHIJJ)

157 'phylumist' ? I'm hardly king of the OED, but that's a new one... do tell... and tip o' the hat!

Posted by: OG Celtic-American at December 30, 2013 02:20 PM (vHRtU)

158 All of you need to stop bashing Barry O. Think how high the seas would be now if King Putt hadn't been elected.

Posted by: [/i] [/s] [/u] [/b] An Observation at December 30, 2013 02:21 PM (ylhEn)

159 OG Celtic-American: "made donations to Ace..." Ampersands in the mail as we speak.

Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at December 30, 2013 02:21 PM (eHIJJ)

160 Jay Z And Beyonce Spend Six-Large On Sex Toys To be fare, it takes a lot to take them out of the hood, keep them looking good, but simultaneously not to feed them.

Posted by: wooga at December 30, 2013 02:21 PM (f+0kK)

161 These gushers are the same people who rant against Citizens United v. Federal Election Commission.

Posted by: Shoot Me at December 30, 2013 02:22 PM (qiXMt)

162 > Jay Z And Beyonce Spend Six-Large On Sex Toys They are so jaded I'd be surprised if they can evan have an orgasm...lets face it, after you have shot up methorin and screwed a pile of dead lemurs while listening to the Beastie Boys covering Bing Crosby, what else is there?

Posted by: OG Celtic-American at December 30, 2013 02:24 PM (vHRtU)

163 Jay Z And Beyonce Spend Six-Large On Sex Toys They are so jaded I'd be surprised if they can evan have an orgasm...lets face it, after you have shot up methorin and screwed a pile of dead lemurs while listening to the Beastie Boys covering Bing Crosby, what else is there? Vaginal krocodil suppositories?

Posted by: rickb223 at December 30, 2013 02:27 PM (OrYRx)

164 The word that comes to mind when I look at Candice Swanepole is supple.

Posted by: Kreplach at December 30, 2013 06:15 PM (Xkr8I)

Every once in a while I remember what a great job being a photographer is. One of my favorite days was taking advertising pictures for a topless dancer before she went on a national tour as a feature act.

Posted by: [/i] [/s] [/u] [/b] An Observation at December 30, 2013 02:28 PM (ylhEn)

165 To be fare, it takes a lot to take them out of the hood, keep them looking good, but simultaneously not to feed them.

Beyonce lived up the street from me when she was growing up. Its about as much of 'the hood' as I am a rapper.

Posted by: [/i] [/s] [/u] [/b] An Observation at December 30, 2013 02:34 PM (ylhEn)

166 I forgot what I was going to say. Oh, yeah. I am cooking prime rib and mashed, no, baked potatoes. And biskits. Is it biskits? Yeah. Biskits. And lots of alcohol. Cause that's what it's gonna take. And Blue Bell ice cream.

Posted by: EROWMER at December 30, 2013 02:42 PM (OONaw)

167 I love Howard Fineman the way O J loved Nicole...perhaps that's too harsh - certainly not a fan

Posted by: ed gibbon at December 30, 2013 02:46 PM (4eNxd)

168 167 I love Howard Fineman the way O J loved Nicole...perhaps that's too harsh - certainly not a fan Posted by: ed gibbon at December 30, 2013 06:46 PM (4eNxd) I lol'd

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at December 30, 2013 02:58 PM (oFCZn)

169 Howard Fineman Has Nothing to Say So He Gets Falling Down Drunk and Gushes about Barack Obama Did a big wet spot appear on his pants after about a minute or two of talking about Obama?

Posted by: Blacque Jacques Shellacque at December 30, 2013 03:03 PM (G5cc0)

170 This is disturbingly prescient, and maybe too close to the truth for comfort. Happy blogoversary, Ace!

Posted by: rickl at December 30, 2013 03:55 PM (sdi6R)

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