Ace of Spades HQ

March 10, 2013

The "Avid Gamer" Princess Wooga Gaming Thread
— Gang of Gaming Morons!

Afternoon M&M's! I hope everyone's Sunday is proceeding well, despite losing an hour of rack time.

If you sent me stuff to post, don't worry! I think next week we'll do an all Reader Submission Gaming Thread. I just don't want to turn this into a "Wall of Text" where no one will really see your hard work.

Walking Dead sidebar. I purchased both the Compendiums and am working my way through them. They aren't bad, but I have definitely preferred the series over the book. My comic book nerd friend says the books get better, so we'll see. Looking forward to tonight's episode.

More Below the fold We're #1! We're #1! Well not really we. Mittens topped the list for the biggest Dick moves in Gaming. Cracked likes to recycle the post every few months to churn traffic. The comments section is a QQ goldmine.

If you want to watch the actual panel where Mittens and MB3 (Who now works at CCP lol) were strait thrashed (Doing Jaeger bombs and Vodka shots one after another while on stage) Skip to Min. 40 for Test and then not too far after that was Mittens. The "terrible stuff" happened in the Q&A after the actual presentations

The Alliance Panel is missing at this year's Fanfest for some reason. Also, Drinking will not be allowed on Stage this year. Odd.

Dude has some stuff on the new SimCity. The only thing that looks to be annoying is the forced co-operation and the size of cities. Go Check out the Giant Bomb Quick look for an interesting look. I was really looking at buying this game, but we'll see if EA/Maxis can fix themselves. I do think alot of it flows into the Good Guy Valve/Scumbag EA Meme that goes around the internets. Fortunately for Valve, they ran into the same issues back in 02/03 with Steam and Half Life 2, so their failings are way in the past. I know we have some Valve/Steam Haters on the blog, and that's a fine position to have. I do understand some of the cognitive dissonance going on the internet when it comes to the double standard.

I've been playing a ton of Fire Emblem Awakening on my 3DS. Really enjoying it.

That's all I have for this week. The Dude is gonna be pissed because i'm axing one of his cosplay thingys. Good thing he can save it for next week

If you have something you'd like to see posted, shoot it to aoshqgaming at gmail dot com. I'll try to actually get these things posted, as I have recieved some really good submissions

Have a good week on the Internets Nerds
-Zakn

Vita got some good news as sales had a jump to over 60k in Japan. Sure, it took Ninja Tits: The Game (which sold 120k itself so far), a physical copy of the new F2P Phantasy Star Online and the official price drop (stores had been selling at that price point for a few weeks now) but it did it. Sadly though, even with the release of Soul Sacrifice last week, this bump won't last as there really isn't anything else coming out for the system.

Sony seems to think that they will ship 16 million PS4 units in the 2013 fiscal year. Of course that does lead to the assumption that they are aiming for a global release

In the long stream of cool tech that has come from people playing around with the tech of the Kinect, MS will be adding Kinect Fusion which lets you use the Kinect to scan objects to make 3D models

After the sale of Relic to Sega, Company of Heroes 2 gets a new release date

Creator of the fun iOS game, Plague Inc. will being give a talk at the CDC. Would personally rather play Pandemic (which you should be able to track down at a Target) but I've been having a lot of fun over the year playing Plague especially with the two new viruses that he has been updating the game with at $2 a piece (WANT MOAR)

If you have about 50 minutes to kill, the panel at SxSW on the Oculus Rift is worth watching

Can I just say that this is really cool?

Lord British asks for a million on Kickstarter for a project titled "Shroud of the Avatar: Forsaken Virtues" and inXile asks for $900k for a spiritual sequel to Planescape: Torment titled "Torment: Tides of Numenera"

SimCity came out last week and it hasn't had a good launch to say the least. EA pulled advertising, , offering a free game for players who will register the game before the 18th, and offered refunds and then quickly reneged on that. Got so bad that so many people crushed Amazon's customer service to the point where they pulled the game for a day. Also, though it was a leaked internal memo, stealth bragging doesn't look good. And yet, for a game that I didn't want at launch (gave up on SimCity after 4), after someone said that it isn't an actual SimCity but rather a sequel to the sadly overlooked SimTown really makes me want to buy this.

A game I did buy this week was Tomb Raider on the PC and damn does the game look really good and has some of more satisfying gameplay I've come across this gen (played 90% with the bow). Story wasn't bad but it really felt like they chopped quite a bit of Rhianna Pratchett's story out of it as ends up being a rainbow coalition of stereotypes. And they stole Uncharted's multi but they forgot the fun which sucks. And the lack of the series amount of set pieces makes it a bit of a drag. And it does have a few bugs if you're playing with an Nvidia card. If you want tessellation, you have to delete the Tomb Raider profile and run it as the Hitman profile. The hair physics are a great addition that looks great when it works but when it doesn't, it looks like a rhino fly swatter (though thankfully they patched it on Saturday where it works all the time but it adds clipping). Though through everything, it's still an enjoyable 14 hour romp and lays the new groundwork to bring the series up to what Tomb Raider should be going forward.

Senran Kagura boob physics vs real life physics

Watch the full video here

Posted by: Gang of Gaming Morons! at 09:00 AM | Comments (113)
Post contains 1098 words, total size 8 kb.

1 Boooosh!

Posted by: Fourth Virginia at March 10, 2013 08:59 AM (P3dtw)

2 Fixed the bold open tag. Damn it Dude, some day I will teach you HTML *shakes fist*

Posted by: Zakn at March 10, 2013 09:02 AM (zyaZ1)

3 Japanese girls usually don't have big ta-tas;

just pointing that out ( for accuracy's sake, and all )

Posted by: Jim in Beam at March 10, 2013 09:05 AM (Dll6b)

4 SimCity bomb, force you to play on line even if playing by yourself. How to lose your customer base in one easy expensive roll out.

Posted by: Vic at March 10, 2013 09:06 AM (53z96)

5 Yes, I spent a lot of years in the Far East. Oriental women usually has small breasts and large nips. First time I saw that I could not help but laugh, which at the time was NOT the thing to do.

Posted by: Vic at March 10, 2013 09:08 AM (53z96)

6 Really Plague Inc. gets to talk to the CDC? I love the game its really fun, and the newest disease the Necroa Virus is awesome. But I don't really see it as all that real world interesting. The case study of the virus in World of Warcraft is probably much much better.

Posted by: buzzion at March 10, 2013 09:08 AM (GULKT)

7 I passed on devoting my life to Boob Physics, because you know, it's all about training for a real career. I chose to study hot gases instead.

Posted by: Rule #2 at March 10, 2013 09:09 AM (CypDC)

8 Burned by Diablo 3 with the always online, will never do it again. Age of Kings HD coming out in April is going to be the shit though!!

Posted by: NWConservative at March 10, 2013 09:09 AM (iOklz)

9 4 SimCity bomb, force you to play on line even if playing by yourself. How to lose your customer base in one easy expensive roll out.

Posted by: Vic at March 10, 2013 01:06 PM (53z96)

Um yeah its a bit silly for them to freak out, since there have been several games released that pretty much have that requirement. Yes even when in single player. And they have not been flops.

Posted by: buzzion at March 10, 2013 09:10 AM (GULKT)

10 What about this "Defiance" game coming out? Any reports of anyone who has played it?

Posted by: RoyalOil at March 10, 2013 09:11 AM (VjL9S)

11 Fuckin' drones are getting out of hand!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qKfudcBexTg

Posted by: kbdabear at March 10, 2013 09:14 AM (mCvL4)

12 Um yeah its a bit silly for them to freak out, since there have been several games released that pretty much have that requirement. Yes even when in single player. And they have not been flops.

Posted by: buzzion at March 10, 2013 01:10 PM (GULKT)

The write-up I read on it this past week said it was a first for Sim City and they overloaded the servers so people could not play at all.

Posted by: Vic at March 10, 2013 09:15 AM (53z96)

13 10 What about this "Defiance" game coming out? Any reports of anyone who has played it?

Posted by: RoyalOil at March 10, 2013 01:11 PM (VjL9S)

Not out until April but guess you can join the Beta. Almost looks like a less cartoonish Borderlands.

Posted by: buzzion at March 10, 2013 09:15 AM (GULKT)

14 SimCity came out last week and it hasn't had a good launch to say the least. EA pulled advertising, , offering a free game for players who will register the game before the 18th, and offered refunds and then quickly reneged on that. Got so bad that so many people crushed Amazon's customer service to the point where they pulled the game for a day.

EA had the same clusterfuck with Diablo 3 and learned nothing. No wonder Cake Girl loved it, her boyfriend wouldn't be able to play the game and would have to take her shoe shopping

Posted by: kbdabear at March 10, 2013 09:17 AM (mCvL4)

15 Um yeah its a bit silly for them to freak out, since there have been several games released that pretty much have that requirement. Yes even when in single player. And they have not been flops. Posted by: buzzion at March 10, 2013 01:10 PM (GULKT) Diablo 3 sold very well, but its user base has fallen precipitously over the last year. I can only think of Sim City and Ubisoft titles where always online is a requirement. And I used to hate steam because of the online requirement for single player games like Skyrim. But steam is not as draconian as EA and Ubisoft have become with their drm.

Posted by: NWConservative at March 10, 2013 09:18 AM (iOklz)

16 The write-up I read on it this past week said it was a first for Sim City and they overloaded the servers so people could not play at all.

Posted by: Vic at March 10, 2013 01:15 PM (53z96)

Yeah a first for SimCity but not a first ever type thing. And the overloaded servers is just straight up boneheaded and should not have happened.

Posted by: buzzion at March 10, 2013 09:18 AM (GULKT)

17 So they announced the first Steam Box. It will only set you back a thousand bucks but it is mighty impressive. Code named Piston it will let you play PC games in big screen mode on your tv. I'd get one but it would require me recruiting an army of hobos to donate plasma in my name to afford it. Hobo economies of scale yo.

Posted by: Exasperated Expat at March 10, 2013 09:20 AM (qZI6x)

18 Sim City 4 isn't using Steam, it's using Origin. Which nobody likes

Posted by: kbdabear at March 10, 2013 09:20 AM (mCvL4)

19 Fashion from Japan, if you are tired of your eyes bouncing in sync with the Japanese woman.
http://en.bijin-snap.com/2013/02/27/no-881/

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at March 10, 2013 09:21 AM (Jr9vG)

20 Posted by: Jim in Beam at March 10, 2013 01:05 PM (Dll6b) My theory is that this is the reason there' so many big (like St. Bernard or Great Pyrenees big) dogs in anime along with yhe big boobs. No one the creators know has either so they're exotic.

Posted by: Polliwog the 'Ette, assault Hobbit at March 10, 2013 09:21 AM (wbeNt)

21 @15

Will Skyrim work if Steam is placed into off-line mode? I won't be playing it until I finish Oblivion (and Morrowind) but I'm just curious.

Posted by: Sandra Fluke's hi-cap assault diaphragm at March 10, 2013 09:21 AM (7xeJQ)

22 Posted by: kbdabear at March 10, 2013 01:17 PM (mCvL4) It was not EA with Diablo 3, it was Blizzard/Activision. It was pretty bad, especially if a player wanted to play on the hardcore mode or whatever it is called. As soon as you die your character is erased. Unfortunately, a server crash or desyncronization would count as a death too, which happened every couple of hours or even more frequently if your unlucky. Some people couldn't even get online to play at all.

Posted by: NWConservative at March 10, 2013 09:22 AM (iOklz)

23 EA had the same clusterfuck with Diablo 3 and learned nothing. No wonder Cake Girl loved it, her boyfriend wouldn't be able to play the game and would have to take her shoe shopping

Posted by: kbdabear at March 10, 2013 01:17 PM (mCvL4)

Diablo 3 is Blizzard/Activision, not EA.

And I really don't think that Diablo 3's problems are related to the always online aspect. I played the game, first ever Diablo I've played, and it just wasn't all that interesting. It doesn't really hold any replay value to me.

Posted by: buzzion at March 10, 2013 09:22 AM (GULKT)

24 I like big breastacles. I will not lie. I find the Japanese sexual proclivities to be a bit odd. Maybe it has something to do with the repressive culture...... I don't know.

Posted by: Truck Monkey at March 10, 2013 09:23 AM (jucos)

25 I probably would have bought SimCity if it was on Steam and not Origin. Not because I hate Origin/EA, I just have never set it up.

Posted by: Zakn at March 10, 2013 09:23 AM (zyaZ1)

26 18 Sim City 4 isn't using Steam, it's using Origin. Which nobody likes Posted by: kbdabear at March 10, 2013 01:20 PM (mCvL4) Oh yes I know that. I won't buy any game that uses origin.

Posted by: NWConservative at March 10, 2013 09:23 AM (iOklz)

27 Posted by: buzzionat March 10,2013 01:08 PM (GULKT) I saw a blurb about the CDC/WoW connection when it was going on but only started playing this year. Was the plague in question the thing that created the Undead? If I remember correctly, the CDC was shocked at how fast it spread.

Posted by: Polliwog the 'Ette, assault Hobbit at March 10, 2013 09:24 AM (wbeNt)

28 I could just kick back and watch that GIF all day...

Posted by: 政治的な帽子 at March 10, 2013 09:25 AM (Vk2pI)

29 21 @15 Will Skyrim work if Steam is placed into off-line mode? I won't be playing it until I finish Oblivion (and Morrowind) but I'm just curious. Posted by: Sandra Fluke's hi-cap assault diaphragm at March 10, 2013 01:21 PM (7xeJQ) Yes it will. If you haven't played morrowind yet you should wait a bit. OpenMW is coming out and is a complete rebuild of the morrowind engine with open source software. They may be able to add physics and skyrim like combat to morrowind without hacks or mods. Really cool stuff.

Posted by: NWConservative at March 10, 2013 09:28 AM (iOklz)

30 Japanese gals rule.

Posted by: eman at March 10, 2013 09:29 AM (64rcm)

31 Gay-ming.

Posted by: Nerd in Mom's Basement at March 10, 2013 09:30 AM (wIgpo)

32 Someone at Breitbart's The Conversation linked this, and I thought it was kinda fun. http://www.polygon.com/2013/3/6/4070824/older-gamers-report-being-happier-according-to-study Then, I asked my husband if he could see us still playing at 63+ years old. He said, yeah, why not? What else would we do.

Posted by: beachgamer'ette at March 10, 2013 09:31 AM (XYSwB)

33 Speaking of Steam, I removed it from my computer. It was always coming up at boot (which I didn't want it doing anyway) and then crashing and the pop-ups about the cradh didn't want to go away. It demanded I already have cash in my Pay-Pal account to make a purchase, and no other company I've dealt with did that. The fact that I hadn't played a game on it in over a year, and in fact only used it to keep in contact with Conservative Monster after his WoW subscription lapsed, meant the annoyance factor was outweighed by nothing at all.

Posted by: Polliwog the 'Ette, assault Hobbit at March 10, 2013 09:32 AM (wbeNt)

34 SimCity bomb, force you to play on line even if playing by yourself. How to lose your customer base in one easy expensive roll out. Civ V did the same thing. I informed them that I would never again purchase any game from them. SimCity can suck it too. I don't buy and play games for their convenience, and when their restrictive crap becomes burdensome, they can FOAD. I suspect this is going to backfire on them. There's always going to be piracy of games, they can't eliminate that entirely, and punishing the people that do willingly pay for their software is not the way to tackle the problem.

Posted by: Sticky Wicket at March 10, 2013 09:33 AM (eyJh9)

35 oh, I wanted to post this gif in the thread but I decided not to because it is 8mb:

http://i.imgur.com/t7wrH8r.gif

Posted by: The Dude at March 10, 2013 09:33 AM (vJdyz)

36 derp, imgur

http://tinyurl.com/are5ssn

Posted by: The Dude at March 10, 2013 09:34 AM (vJdyz)

37 34 SimCity bomb, force you to play on line even if playing by yourself. How to lose your customer base in one easy expensive roll out. Civ V did the same thing. I informed them that I would never again purchase any game from them. SimCity can suck it too. I don't buy and play games for their convenience, and when their restrictive crap becomes burdensome, they can FOAD. I suspect this is going to backfire on them. There's always going to be piracy of games, they can't eliminate that entirely, and punishing the people that do willingly pay for their software is not the way to tackle the problem. Posted by: Sticky Wicket at March 10, 2013 01:33 PM (eyJh9) You know what is even worse is when the pirating customers have an easier time playing a game than the customers who bought the damn game.

Posted by: NWConservative at March 10, 2013 09:37 AM (iOklz)

38 27 Posted by: buzzionat March 10,2013 01:08 PM (GULKT) I saw a blurb about the CDC/WoW connection when it was going on but only started playing this year. Was the plague in question the thing that created the Undead? If I remember correctly, the CDC was shocked at how fast it spread. No it was something else. There was a cracked article on it too. That's where I saw it. It was some like life drain attack in a high level dungeon. It would spread between characters and could insta kill low level players. Players figured ou how to get it out of the dungeon and it spread. It could even infect npcs which had unlimited health making them essentially typhoid Mary's

Posted by: Buzzion at March 10, 2013 09:39 AM (uMIbK)

39 Speaking of Steam, I removed it from my computer. It was always coming up at boot there's a setting to turn this off

Posted by: beachgamer'ette at March 10, 2013 09:40 AM (XYSwB)

40 Posted by: Sticky Wicket at March 10, 2013 01:33 PM (eyJh9)

I gave up on Civ at version IV. I think II was probably the all around best though.

Posted by: Vic at March 10, 2013 09:40 AM (53z96)

41 I gave up on Civ at version IV. I think II was probably the all around best though.

Posted by: Vic at March 10, 2013 01:40 PM (53z96)

wut? Civ IV Beyond The Sword is the pinnacle of the series

Posted by: The Dude at March 10, 2013 09:41 AM (vJdyz)

42 29

If you haven't played morrowind yet you should wait a bit. OpenMW is coming out and is a complete rebuild of the morrowind engine with open source software.

Posted by: NWConservative at March 10, 2013 01:28 PM (iOklz)

Huh. Well, I guess I've not finished it in 10 years so I can afford to wait a little longer to do so.

Posted by: Sandra Fluke's hi-cap assault diaphragm at March 10, 2013 09:42 AM (7xeJQ)

43 Posted by: Vic at March 10, 2013 01:06 PM (53z96)

I had an expiring gift certificate so I bought a game that requires exactly that.

Wow. What an asshole move. I will never buy another game from them.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at March 10, 2013 09:43 AM (3Mkrp)

44 Looks in, starts to leave, notices the bouncing booblets. Hmm.

Posted by: toby928© presents at March 10, 2013 09:47 AM (QupBk)

45 You know what is even worse is when the pirating customers have an easier time playing a game than the customers who bought the damn game. Which encourages more piracy, as legitimate customers search online for ways to circumvent often draconian restrictions on how they play. Heck, whenever I buy a movie, I immediately rip and burn a back up disc that does away with all the bs commercials, warnings, previews, menus, etc. I pop my disc in, the movie just plays. I don't have to wait, or click through menus, or anything. It's great....and unfortunately for Holly Wood, introduces people to the dark arts of circumventing the fifteen minutes it takes to get a movie to even play, or play at full resolution on non-HDMI devices, which is all one needs to know to pirate pretty much any movie.

Posted by: Sticky Wicket at March 10, 2013 09:47 AM (eyJh9)

46 Re: The Walking Dead - eh, I'm not a big gov fan. Just kill him and move on. I also dislike hallucinations of dead wives, dream sequences, etc. They have been very good at killing zombies this season and I hope it continues. I think Andrea returns and hooks up with Rick. The alpha male and the alpha female, you guys! I think the black chick does all the other men. Maggie has become a bit of an alpha female, herself, though. Anyway, maybe Judith gets eaten and Carl gets laid. Lots of good stuff to look forward to.

Posted by: Bubba from County at March 10, 2013 09:48 AM (3VhRQ)

47 EA is doing what they usually do. Take your money, blame everything else for their problems, send sockpuppets to game forums, and say "fuck you, we've got your money"

Posted by: kbdabear at March 10, 2013 09:49 AM (mCvL4)

48 Good news, guys, Class of Heroes 2 passed QA, it will be coming to PSN either the 19th or the 26th. ...Well, it's good news for me, anyway.

Posted by: JDTAY at March 10, 2013 09:50 AM (a0nis)

49 Good news, guys, Class of Heroes 2 passed QA, it will be coming to PSN either the 19th or the 26th.

...Well, it's good news for me, anyway.

Posted by: JDTAY at March 10, 2013 01:50 PM (a0nis)

have a physical copy coming to me

Posted by: The Dude at March 10, 2013 09:51 AM (vJdyz)

50 From Amazon customer reviews. I suspect one of us might have written this one ...

Guess what? If you'd love to experience the nonstop thrills and excitement of SimCity, then please remove $60 from your bank and promptly pay someone to kick you repeatedly in the friggin' mouth.

Posted by: kbdabear at March 10, 2013 09:52 AM (mCvL4)

51 This post is strangely enthralling.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Take us away. at March 10, 2013 09:53 AM (Gk3SS)

52 Whoever typed that is clearly fluent in Moronish.

Posted by: Sticky Wicket at March 10, 2013 09:54 AM (eyJh9)

53 @50 EA's lucky he said "mouth".

Posted by: JDTAY at March 10, 2013 09:55 AM (a0nis)

54 I have no problem playing Civ V offline that I've noticed. Is that recent? Still getting the hang of EVE. Love 'splodey ships, not so happy when I'm getting 'sploded, but the learning curve is rising. Getting new laptop this week, should actually be able to play Skyrim in decent settings now since it's got a proper card on it. (Couldn't play at all on old laptop, which was budget six years ago when I got it...) Can't sleep. Drones will eat me.

Posted by: Pope Cavil I, Cylon Catholic Church at March 10, 2013 09:56 AM (mbxHg)

55 No it was something else. There was a cracked article on it too. That's where I saw it. It was some like life drain attack in a high level dungeon. It would spread between characters and could insta kill low level players. Players figured ou how to get it out of the dungeon and it spread. It could even infect npcs which had unlimited health making them essentially typhoid Mary's

Posted by: Buzzion at March 10, 2013 01:39 PM (uMIbK)

Thing is, the Corrupted Blood plague wasn't even the first time that happened. Before the Zul'Gurub raid instance first launched, the same thing happened with people bringing Living Bomb out of Molten Core. Granted, that wasn't a virulent disease that propagated across the game world, but just a single delayed explosion that would one-shot a bunch of people standing in the inn or auction house or wherever it was unleashed. Uninteresting to the CDC, but still the same mechanic of carrying a boss fight mechanic outside the dungeon and unleashing it on unsuspecting players there.

Posted by: Dan K. at March 10, 2013 09:57 AM (c32CV)

56 Imagine a time in the near future where you can ask your personal AI to conjure up a movie for you. A movie made to your specifications and ready within seconds. "Holly, I want to watch a movie. Make it a mix of Star Wars and Firefly and throw in some nudity here and there. Oh, and make the Aliens scientifically plausible."

Posted by: eman at March 10, 2013 09:58 AM (64rcm)

57 @56 The sooner Hollywood gets replaced, the better.

Posted by: JDTAY at March 10, 2013 09:59 AM (a0nis)

58 Haha. Not quite as incoherent as last week. And this post is lacking in half-finished Eve ramblings.

Posted by: wooga at March 10, 2013 09:59 AM (jgnqm)

59 Which encourages more piracy, as legitimate customers search online for ways to circumvent often draconian restrictions on how they play. Heck, whenever I buy a movie, I immediately rip and burn a back up disc that does away with all the bs commercials, warnings, previews, menus, etc. I pop my disc in, the movie just plays. I don't have to wait, or click through menus, or anything. It's great....and unfortunately for Holly Wood, introduces people to the dark arts of circumventing the fifteen minutes it takes to get a movie to even play, or play at full resolution on non-HDMI devices, which is all one needs to know to pirate pretty much any movie. Posted by: Sticky Wicket at March 10, 2013 01:47 PM (eyJh9) You know what is even worse? Is that many republicans back big Hollywood over Americans. Just look at copyright law and the DMCA. I am so sick of companies and individuals using the power of government for their own ends. It is just as bad on our side as on the left.

Posted by: NWConservative at March 10, 2013 10:04 AM (iOklz)

60 Boobs gif and advanced VR in the same post. Chocolate, meet peanut butter.

Posted by: Beagle at March 10, 2013 10:08 AM (qlX9b)

61 DRM is wonderful. For EA

For the gamer it's as if GM had touted all the features of the new Corvette but required that you fuel it only at their stations, and it's refueled with an eyedropper. By then you've said fuck it and look over your insurance policy for clauses on fire damage

Posted by: kbdabear at March 10, 2013 10:09 AM (mCvL4)

62 Me? I'm more into biogaming.

Posted by: soothsayer at March 10, 2013 10:11 AM (Y4TdB)

63 "Holly, I want to watch a movie. Make it a mix of Star Wars and Firefly and throw in some nudity here and there. Oh, and make the Aliens scientifically plausible."

Posted by: eman at March 10, 2013 01:58 PM

And universally fuckable

Posted by: Capt. James T Kirk at March 10, 2013 10:11 AM (mCvL4)

64 Boobs gif and advanced VR in the same post. Chocolate, meet peanut butter.

Posted by: Beagle at March 10, 2013 02:08 PM (qlX9b)

wish I could find the link where they talk about it but the porn industry is quite interested in the Oculus Rift

Posted by: The Dude at March 10, 2013 10:13 AM (vJdyz)

65 I am a pretty, pretty princess.

Posted by: wooga at March 10, 2013 10:16 AM (jgnqm)

66 I know nothing about video games and I'm trying to relate to a nice kid (16) who has recently come to church and my nephew (22) who play them all the time. They can't relate to books because neither of them read any and they both hated school The younger guy tells the games are good for hand eye coordination which I see no reason to doubt. Are there any games that have a Christian theme anyone could recomend? I need something that's not "mature" (no sexual content) for the younger one.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at March 10, 2013 10:17 AM (g7q64)

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at March 10, 2013 02:17 PM (g7q64)

you really won't find anything Christan themed as it's a too small of a market to cater to and what has been made isn't worth your time

Posted by: The Dude at March 10, 2013 10:19 AM (vJdyz)

This sim city thing is a bigger debacle than Diablo for 2 reasons 1) the refunds.

2) the fact they still haven't fixed it (and aren't quite clear as to what's going on.

They keep removing things and it's now helping.

Amazon put it back but has a warning on the page to anyone who may want to buy it. (FWIW, I had that in my version of the story ).

EA may have shit the bed big time on this one.

I once postulated that no one cares about DRM that's nearly invisible (you don't see a lot of people balking about Kindle DRM or Nook DRM). People are even less concerned about hopping to different ecosystems I think. This however is far and beyond that in failness.

I hate Always online requirements as well, but they could be made to work in theory (given the ever increasing availability of broadband.) It shouldn't be that f'ing hard to load test a sever though.

Interestingly for the Xbox 360 Microsoft specifically kept the disk drive in, even in later versions because (as I've read in various places) there's still large enough portion of their market without internet sufficient to handle downloaded games only. (Which is also why you see disked DLC still put out apparently.)

Posted by: tsrblke at March 10, 2013 10:22 AM (GaqMa)

69 No work will get done when there is VR porn. Rolling blackouts. Servers melting.

Posted by: Beagle at March 10, 2013 10:22 AM (qlX9b)

70 No work will get done when there is VR porn. Rolling blackouts. Servers melting.

Posted by: Beagle at March 10, 2013 02:22 PM (qlX9b)

someone needs to relaunch the fleshlight that connects to the internet

Posted by: The Dude at March 10, 2013 10:25 AM (vJdyz)

71 VR porn will be the end of mankind. Noone will want to go to the trouble of dating a real girl.

Posted by: JDTAY at March 10, 2013 10:28 AM (a0nis)

72 I once postulated that no one cares about DRM that's nearly invisible True. I don't steal to begin with, and whatever DRM is on my kindle is transparent....I have no issues with it at all, as I'm able to read the things I've purchased from Amazon on my kindle, my pc, and my laptop...at any time I want. It's completely friendly with non DRM'ed material, I don't have to be online to read my latest purchase...it represents, at least to me, a way to protect IP without forcing me to jump through numerous hoops in order to enjoy the material I've purchased. If that ever changes....if Amazon ever tries to turn a purchase into a rental, if my kindle ever spontaneously deletes content without my permission, they will never see another dime of my money.

Posted by: Sticky Wicket at March 10, 2013 10:31 AM (eyJh9)

73 29: If you haven't played morrowind yet you should wait a bit. OpenMW is coming out and is a complete rebuild of the morrowind engine with open source software.

Hey, thanks for that info! I have Morrowind, but hadn't gotten very far in between finishing Oblivion and starting Skyrim -- now I'll just hold off till OpenMW comes out. Multajn dankojn!

Posted by: Empire1 at March 10, 2013 10:33 AM (PX1mD)

74 Inside Edition, which is the least-worst of those shows, did a segment last week on the rising popularity of Bible story-movies because of the History Channel. Spielberg might be doing a remake of Moses. And if he casts Daniel Day Lewis as Moses, it will be as good and as accurate as Lincoln. Also in the works is a Bible-based game show.

Posted by: soothsayer at March 10, 2013 10:35 AM (hNqVf)

75 If that ever changes....if Amazon ever tries to turn a purchase into a rental, if my kindle ever spontaneously deletes content without my permission, they will never see another dime of my money.

Posted by: Sticky Wicket at March 10, 2013 02:31 PM (eyJh9)

Erg, you did hear about the Amazon Kindle 1984 DRM issue right?

Where they deleted a bunch of people's books because they apparently did not actually have the right to distribute them.

Posted by: tsrblke at March 10, 2013 10:37 AM (GaqMa)

76 I have no problem playing Civ V offline that I've noticed. Is that recent? You have to have an active connection to Steam to even start the game. Try turning off your modem, before starting Civ V. Worse, I paid for the game, at Walmart, I believe, and after six months, Steam refused to let me play, and after numerous inquiries, questions, and complaints...I still can't play the game I paid for.

Posted by: Sticky Wicket at March 10, 2013 10:38 AM (eyJh9)

77 Rome:Total War has always been one of my favorite games, with a huge selection of mods to try . The last week, I've been playing one that has enthralled me with its crazy fun gameplay. It's a fantasy, but not way out there, no monsters or magic or strange creatures.

End of Days starts in the year 666, the days of Armageddon have arrived. You have a world map that extends to western China, the European states with their Crusader factions, Islam , Persia, India and one other, all trying to stay the day of reckoning when they're not beating up one another. A huge faction of reprobates, murderers and thieves with high quality troops is taking over the world for the Anti-Christ.,and they're very close to succeeding when the game starts.Your mission is to stop them and anyone else (read almost everyone) that attacks you.

I chose for my faction the "one other" I mentioned, a Japanese Samurai army stranded in Arabia. Instant war with Islam, instant alliance with Spanish with their Crusaders and Knights of the Inquisition. Eventually war with everyone and their dog. Huge fun, Samurai are awesome in their armor and their fighting skills. Going to try the Hindu faction next.The music is superior, worth the download alone, it will give you chills.Rome is very cheap on Steam.

Download and description End of Days mod at it s homepage:
http://preview.tinyurl.com/b6dn3on

Posted by: JHW at March 10, 2013 10:38 AM (B38OD)

78 A modern Hollywood movie about Moses. Should be good. Can't wait to see them tell me the Jews never shoulda left Egypt for the Promised Land.

Posted by: JDTAY at March 10, 2013 10:39 AM (a0nis)

79 You have to have an active connection to Steam to even start the game. Try turning off your modem, before starting Civ V. Worse, I paid for the game, at Walmart, I believe, and after six months, Steam refused to let me play, and after numerous inquiries, questions, and complaints...I still can't play the game I paid for.

Posted by: Sticky Wicket at March 10, 2013 02:38 PM (eyJh9)

I bought the original dragon age. We installed it on my wife's computer, she didn't like it, so we put it on mine, but in that time period that had changed the DRM structure (no joke).

So my CD key no longer worked.

Then they got me a new one, and it only sorta worked. If the game would crash at any time (i.e. not exit properly) the EXE would delete itself. I finally got a copy of the EXE (off my wife's computer) and just kept that in a different folder. Whenever it erased itself, copy it over, repatch and keep playing.

PITA...also...EA game.

Posted by: tsrblke at March 10, 2013 10:44 AM (GaqMa)

80 Erg, you did hear about the Amazon...... I am not Erg, first and foremost. Yes I heard about that, and problems with subscriptions to periodicals, (where when a user's subscription ended, material already paid for mysteriously vanished). Amazon bent over backwards to address those issues, I believe...as did Nook's parent company, though to a lesser extent...(I think). Still, if they do it to me, I will no longer support them with my money...there are numerous publishers that provide kindle formatted material without DRM, and Amazon would be cutting it's own throat to throw more business to them through stupid sloppy mistakes on their part. As the technology has matured since those earlier days, I don't see this as much of a threat, to be honest.

Posted by: Sticky Wicket at March 10, 2013 10:52 AM (eyJh9)

81 I've played Morrowind quite a bit years ago, would play again if they get it to look like Skyrim or Oblivion. And cut down on the disease-ridden birds.

Posted by: waelse1 at March 10, 2013 10:55 AM (KeTxr)

Posted by: Sticky Wicket at March 10, 2013 02:52 PM (eyJh9)

Aww crap.

Sorry, I forgot about that is dipshit's name. I use "erg" as filler (often like "uhhhm") in text to convey confusion.

No insult intended.

Posted by: tsrblke at March 10, 2013 10:59 AM (GaqMa)

83 I've played Morrowind quite a bit years ago, would play again if they get it to look like Skyrim or Oblivion. And cut down on the disease-ridden birds.

Posted by: waelse1 at March 10, 2013 02:55 PM (KeTxr)

best shot is Morblivion mod

Posted by: The Dude at March 10, 2013 11:01 AM (vJdyz)

84 Steam can be kind of annoying. Some days they can be very annoying. But EA is basically a Dick Move on ten thousand legs. Steam doesn't have to run on startup and I've never had to have cash in my PayPal account. EA's "Origin" software says it it's EULA that they have the right to read *ANY FILE* on your computer. Fuck That Horse Shit. They were caught accessing user's documents and tax programs. They changed the EULA but not enough to eliminate that agreement and made a statement that they promise to be good boys, which I don't believe because they've already been caught. Add to that getting caught talking about microtransactions (dinging you cash for ammo in online games because they have you "hooked") and how they seem primarily to be an engine for wrecking game companies (Origin and Bioware for starters), and the sooner they go out of business the better.

Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith's Other Mobile[/i][/b][/s] at March 10, 2013 11:01 AM (bxiXv)

85 Sorry, I forgot about that is dipshit's name. I use "erg" as filler (often like "uhhhm") in text to convey confusion. No insult intended. Lol...no worries. I saw 'Erg', and didn't want to be associated with that ass-snuffling cockwallop.

Posted by: Sticky Wicket at March 10, 2013 11:02 AM (eyJh9)

86 Don't know how it missed my radar, but Disgaea D2 ships in Japan on the 20th and here sometime in the fall. This is a direct sequel to Disgaea, so I expect the endgame to feature NIS's varied protagonists getting revenge on Laharl for invading their games over the years (10 already!)

Biggest improvement seems to be scrapping magichange (monsters into weapons) for monster riding. Aside from the awesomeness of riding a dragon (or a succubi if you prefer), this, I think means that all you need for skipping item world levels is any flying monster plus your OP character, rather than being forced to OP whichever token flyer the game gives you.

If you're not familiar with the get level 9999, reincarnate, and do it all again series, that probably didn't mean anything to you.

Posted by: Methos at March 10, 2013 11:04 AM (hO9ad)

87 Looking forward to OpenMorrowind if that works out. The game was very well-designed and well-written but the interface doesn't hold up as well as some. I finally got Thief Deadly Shadows working on win7-64-bit by using the executables from the development kit. That game is hugely unpopular with Thief fanboys but I prefer it, that game is my freaking happy place. My biggest problem with Steam is that they half-ass the DRM solution. In other works, you get hooked into STeam's online DRM feature (which compared to some other is actually better), but a lot of games retain destructive crap like SECUROM. It was supposed to be one or the other, didn't work out. Also getting sick of uninstalling PunkBuster. Wish I could block the installation of certain software.

Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith's Other Mobile[/i][/b][/s] at March 10, 2013 11:06 AM (bxiXv)

88 So my CD key no longer worked My key for Civ 5 still doesn't work....I'm just repeatedly offered the choice of either plunking down another fifty bucks, or not playing. I choose not to play. There are a lot of good games out there, that do not force me to wear the albatross of 'always on drm' around my neck, so the choice is rather easy for me.

Posted by: Sticky Wicket at March 10, 2013 11:07 AM (eyJh9)

89 I've known a number of people who play cracked/pirated versions of games they paid money for, because of the fucked-up DRM.

Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith's Other Mobile[/i][/b][/s] at March 10, 2013 11:10 AM (bxiXv)

90 Oh, another good reason, the "mandatory membership" feature by many game companies like Microsoft (Live), EA (Origin), Rockstar (whatever bitch thing they force you to do). You can trick Live into creating a local account, at least, mine is called "fuckyou". I just want to play a fucking game, assholes. I don't want in-game spam from the company or their fanboys.

Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith's Other Mobile[/i][/b][/s] at March 10, 2013 11:12 AM (bxiXv)

91 If you haven't caught this guy reviewing SimCity live, he's still at it: http://www.twitch.tv/sevadus " a 25 year old Astrophysics PhD student who loves gaming in all of its forms. " Best quote so far: Hey, everyone at EA, take a toothpick, stick it under your toenail and kick the wall. lol

Posted by: beachgamer'ette at March 10, 2013 11:16 AM (XYSwB)

92 But EA is basically a Dick Move on ten thousand legs. They really screwed the Pooch A l'orange, (Hat Tip to Obumble's personal chef), on that one, and it's going to be hard to simultaneously fix their fuck ups on this release, while marketing other games.

Posted by: Sticky Wicket at March 10, 2013 11:16 AM (eyJh9)

Posted by: Sticky Wicket at March 10, 2013 03:07 PM (eyJh9)

Yeah I dunno. I had purchase receipts for mine, maybe that helped.

I really only got the game for PC, because at the time I was moderating for Gametap, and right after the debacle of the purchase by the French company (in which the volunteer mods took the brunt of the crap from users.) The community manager gave us some codes for free games from the purchase store. Any free games. I sold one code to a friend for him to get Mass Effect 2 (which offset my purchase cost of the Xbox version!) and used my other one to get Dragon Age. (I don't remember if I had a third or not.)

In retrospect I think it was also an F-U to his new French overlords (giving away expensive shit as it were.)

Posted by: tsrblke at March 10, 2013 11:18 AM (GaqMa)

94 People were upset with that Mitani guy, he seems kind like a douche but I can't imagine people getting that bent out shape over those comments. Did he really try and get people to harass the player IRL? I still don't get the point of Eve I suppose...

Posted by: LiquidFlorian at March 10, 2013 11:21 AM (3o2VS)

95 I keep wanting to play Morrowind again, but I keep waiting for new mods that haven't come out yet.

EA won't have a problem marketing other games, they'll just Pretend It Never Happened. They've also been caught/implicated in astroturf campaigns (not really that uncommon) and bribing reviewers (sadly not that uncommon - I ignore "professional" game reviews anyway).

Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith's Other Mobile[/i][/b][/s] at March 10, 2013 11:34 AM (bxiXv)

96 EA's "Origin" software says it it's EULA that they have the right to read *ANY FILE* on your computer. Fuck That Horse Shit.

They were caught accessing user's documents and tax programs. They changed the EULA but not enough to eliminate that agreement and made a statement that they promise to be good boys, which I don't believe because they've already been caught.

Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith's Other Mobile at March 10, 2013 03:01 PM

3 immutable lies: Check is in the mail, I won't come in your mouth, and "your information will not be provided to third parties"

Posted by: kbdabear at March 10, 2013 11:35 AM (mCvL4)

97 They've also been caught/implicated in astroturf campaigns (not really that uncommon) and bribing reviewers (sadly not that uncommon - I ignore "professional" game reviews anyway). If I had twitter I would constantly harass Adam sessler with questions about how many hookers ea gave him to defend the ending of mass effect 3

Posted by: Buzzion at March 10, 2013 11:47 AM (bnZEj)

98 If I had twitter I would constantly harass Adam sessler with questions about how many hookers ea gave him to defend the ending of mass effect 3 Posted by: Buzzion at March 10, 2013 03:47 PM (bnZEj) I have friends who still bring that up at random intervals. It wasn't just the game, it was the reviewers and the company's PR response that was so screwed up. IGN had a staff member in the fucking game. How is that not a conflict of interest? Also she was a bad voice actress, a butterface, and she replaced a beloved character they killed off on twitter. It's like they said, "what can possibly go wrong," made a list, and then did everything on that list.

Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith's Other Mobile[/i][/b][/s] at March 10, 2013 11:51 AM (bxiXv)

99 95 There's a Morrowind Graphics Extender (http://tinyurl.com/by6gool) in addition to Morroblivion. Posted by: DKCZ at March 10, 2013 03:22 PM (9/bcB) OpenMW will have a less crashy engine than Oblivion and morrowind and already has 1,000 times better water. Check Openmw.org for updates if you want.

Posted by: NWConservative at March 10, 2013 11:53 AM (qb4V9)

100

Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith's Other Mobile at March 10, 2013 03:51 PM (bxiXv)

Meh, like politics and journalism the gaming review system will always be riddled with Conflicts of interest.

Everyone wants to be invited to the cool parties, which makes them think they have to suck the publisher's balls. (also I'm sure more than a few of them are friends, so they don't know what to do when they're watching the public tear apart their work.)

Posted by: tsrblke at March 10, 2013 11:55 AM (GaqMa)

101 BTW Bioware said people should not think of the next ME game as "Mass Effect 4." They danced around it but basically admitting they burned the franchise down. They're "pursuing a new direction in terms of gameplay and story." Translation, it will be a cheap multiplayer game like Call of Doodoo or Battlecrack. That's the direction the industry is moving, "social FPS gaming," because the games are low-effort and make just as much money. I think if you want Roleplaying or adventure in the future, you'll look more at kickstarter than the AAA houses.

Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith's Other Mobile[/i][/b][/s] at March 10, 2013 12:02 PM (bxiXv)

102 102 BTW Bioware said people should not think of the next ME game as "Mass Effect 4." They danced around it but basically admitting they burned the franchise down. They're "pursuing a new direction in terms of gameplay and story." Translation, it will be a cheap multiplayer game like Call of Doodoo or Battlecrack. That's the direction the industry is moving, "social FPS gaming," because the games are low-effort and make just as much money. I think if you want Roleplaying or adventure in the future, you'll look more at kickstarter than the AAA houses. Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith's Other Mobile at March 10, 2013 04:02 PM (bxiXv) You forgot the endless streams of MMO's that EVERYBODY is making nowadays. That is the cash cow for the future since it can be a constant revenue stream.

Posted by: NWConservative at March 10, 2013 12:07 PM (qb4V9)

103 Call of Duty grandpa? Video games make seniors happier The Wii has also been credited with helping people rehab injuries, in addition to giving seniors the chance to play fun games with friends. http://t.co/t24IU8RMJh

Posted by: Rewrite! at March 10, 2013 12:10 PM (d7Px0)

104 Paying Customers v DRM v Pirates https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/7119588608/hDEFE6E3D/ or http://tinyurl.com/c7eefkl

Posted by: beachgamer'ette at March 10, 2013 12:11 PM (XYSwB)

105 You forgot the endless streams of MMO's that EVERYBODY is making nowadays. That is the cash cow for the future since it can be a constant revenue stream. Posted by: NWConservative at March 10, 2013 04:07 PM (qb4V9) And the new thing there is the "social FPS" I mentioned, like COD with special cash items and either F2P+items or monthly fees. Easier to make and maintain than a MMORPG. More boring, too, but the drooling kids seem to like 'em. That MMO Warcraft 3 thing that seems so popular, too. Whatever it's called. LOL I think.

Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith's Other Mobile[/i][/b][/s] at March 10, 2013 12:12 PM (bxiXv)

106 I would once again encourage anyone with an interest in creating your own games to try an approach to Unity 3D. There is a learning curve, where isn't there one, but once over the hump of learning to script, I feel certain that one would find enjoyment there. Nice gaming thread, as usual!

Posted by: and irresolute at March 10, 2013 12:13 PM (DBH1h)

107 OpenMW will have a less crashy engine than Oblivion and morrowind and already has 1,000 times better water. Check Openmw.org for updates if you want.

Posted by: NWConservative at March 10, 2013 03:53 PM (qb4V9)

That looks like it will be better than the two alternatives, but they themselves say it is currently in a "pre-alpha stage". Plenty of time for someone who has never played Morrowind to use MGE or Morroblivion for their first game, before considering OpenMW on a later playthrough.

Posted by: DKCZ at March 10, 2013 12:20 PM (9/bcB)

108

102 BTW Bioware said people should not think of the next ME game as "Mass Effect 4." They danced around it but basically admitting they burned the franchise down.

They're "pursuing a new direction in terms of gameplay and story." Translation, it will be a cheap multiplayer game like Call of Doodoo or Battlecrack.

That does suck. I will say though that the ME3 multiplayer is a lot better now than it was at the start. A lot more characters and variety of abilities for them. And they did a bit of achievement whoring in the MP too. But really I wouldn't buy a game that was just that. Also what's nice is that, no text chatting in the game, so no annoying 12 year olds spamming, and most people do not use microphones, so no real vocal flaming either.

Posted by: buzzion at March 10, 2013 12:27 PM (GULKT)

109 I had zero interest in the twitchy repetetive COD-style multiplayer. Less than zero. Especially since the control scheme was sad, what with the "everything button."

Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith's Other Mobile[/i][/b][/s] at March 10, 2013 12:35 PM (bxiXv)

110 That looks like it will be better than the two alternatives, but they themselves say it is currently in a "pre-alpha stage". Plenty of time for someone who has never played Morrowind to use MGE or Morroblivion for their first game, before considering OpenMW on a later playthrough.

Posted by: DKCZ at March 10, 2013 04:20 PM (9/bcB)

You're right about that. They are really close to a 1.0 stage though, the biggest hurdle left is animations/ai from what I have seen. And they are finishing up animations for the next few releases. They are expecting 1.0 this year. The best thing though is all the mods made for the original should work for open source.

Posted by: NWConservative at March 10, 2013 01:20 PM (M1gmo)

111 The comments section is a QQ goldmine.

Heh... Thanks for the heads-up. I usually skip the comments sections at Cracked, but that one was interesting.

Posted by: Petrus at March 10, 2013 02:37 PM (6//Nu)

112 Posted by: Polliwog the 'Ette, assault Hobbit at March 10, 2013 01:32 PM (wbeNt)

Been wondering where you disappeared to.    No worries, after the Starcraft 2 expansion releases this week, I'll probably be on Battlenet a little more.

To answer your question about the CDC-WoW thing, that's referring to the Corrupted Blood incident.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Corrupted_Blood_incident

In a certain raid dungeon boss fight, the boss would give out a debuff that inflicted a lot of damage and spread from the infected to nearby players.   A raid would handle it by having everyone spread out and having dedicated healers keeping the infected alive.

Taken outside of the raid and into the city, the debuff went out of control because people would be clumped up and not paying attention. Thus, Internet history was made.

Posted by: ConservativeMonster at March 10, 2013 03:30 PM (7um7O)

113 Totally off the wall and stale, but Skyrim is the best game I have ever played by far.

Dark Age of Camelot and Sanitarium are two and three, and those two should be reprised by creative folks.

But Skyrim is brilliant down to the last detail, worth just wandering around in sneak mode for the sheer pleasure of the environment.

I am not even near half through Skyrim and am looking forward to the next installment just for the sheer enjoyment of beholding a different world by these same creators.

There is a categorically different type of game waiting to be created, one which takes the moral and psychological aspect of existence into perceptive consideration.

That will happen sometime in the future.

Skyrim, to my mind, has solved the preliminary question of visual beauty and game-balance, eliminating the tedious and offering challenge in a natural way.

Posted by: Tonawanda at March 10, 2013 03:39 PM (GeFHE)

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