Ace of Spades HQ

October 24, 2013

READY TO POST// The perils of buying a home at auction
— Purple Avenger

There's all the usual things of course, toxic mold, bad plumbing, aging rickety electrical systems, leaky roofs, bad furnaces, cracked foundations, termites, squirrel infestations, getting a neighbor from hell, sinkholes, etc. These are all 98mph heaters coming right over the plate though. You kind of expect them.

Then once in a while you get thrown a completely unexpected perfect 12-6 curve, and it just leaves you standing there with the bat on your shoulder slack-jawed shaking your head.

... A French man opened the door to his recently purchased apartment on Friday to find the mummified body of a previous owner hanging in his new home.
According to AFP, the corpse had been hanging in the Bussy-Saint-Georges apartment undisturbed for eight years...

As Emeril would say: BAM! No long lost Rembrandt's or forgotten duffel with 20 kilos of the finest blow and $500,000 in it in the attic as a prize for you. Nope. Not gonna happen.

I imagine all manner of similar "prizes" are going to be discovered in the hundreds of thousands of boarded up foreclosed joints here if that backlog ever gets worked through.

The local sheriff deputies I've talked with say the local vacant homes are already being used as burglary booty stash areas so perps aren't caught with the stolen stuff at home. How much of a stretch is it for them to start collecting bodies too?

Open thread

Posted by: Purple Avenger at 07:21 AM | Comments (139)
Post contains 250 words, total size 2 kb.

1 Holy hell...

I'd pee myself, and I'm not ashamed to type that outloud.

Posted by: Washington Nearsider at October 24, 2013 07:23 AM (fwARV)

2 Everything was ready to post except the headline

This is actually the second news story on a similar topic this year. It happened in Spain, as well. Obviously they are very thorough when inspecting foreclosed properties in Europe.

Posted by: In Exile at October 24, 2013 07:24 AM (kpHdq)

3 Despite the passing of time, the dead man had not decomposed.

How does that happen? Check his throat for bite marks.

Posted by: Waterhouse at October 24, 2013 07:26 AM (Lw+sl)

4 Haole frak... I would be running for the Gendarme toute suite.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at October 24, 2013 07:26 AM (2lVGT)

5 Hiding dead bodies in abandoned houses was used in "The Wire."

Posted by: Joel at October 24, 2013 07:26 AM (NQxLE)

6 It's more about the perils of buying a home in France, than about buying one at auction.

Posted by: Roy at October 24, 2013 07:27 AM (VndSC)

7 The local sheriff deputies I've talked with say the local vacant homes are already being used as burglary booty stash areas so perps aren't caught with the stolen stuff at home. How much of a stretch is it for them to start collecting bodies too?

Hey, did ace say anything about an empty house before he went on "vacation"?

Posted by: EC at October 24, 2013 07:27 AM (GQ8sn)

8 Yay, hobo larders

Posted by: boulder toilet hobo at October 24, 2013 07:28 AM (gH8uI)

9 "Despite the passing of time, the dead man had not decomposed. How does that happen?" Same method as Hobo JerkyÂ®

Posted by: mindful webworker at large (of small, whatev) at October 24, 2013 07:29 AM (f4m0b)

10 Please no Risky Business at the Ewok's domicile. You don't want him angry and grumpy do you? Unless you can lay all the blame on jwest that is... but even that is going too far now that I think on it.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at October 24, 2013 07:29 AM (2lVGT)

11 If all the carpet didn't have to be yanked out, every square foot of wall/ceiling painted, and piss and shit removed from all the toilets the guy should have been thankful.

I'd have had a priest and a body bag there happily same day instead of what I put up with on my house.

Posted by: H Badger at October 24, 2013 07:29 AM (n/0Nw)

12 coming soon to a HOA near you

Posted by: sven10077 at October 24, 2013 07:29 AM (9jfyN)

13 Being French, it's no surprise that nobody noticed the smell.

Posted by: Hollowpoint at October 24, 2013 07:29 AM (SY2Kh)

14 Mmmhm.

Posted by: Lester Freamon at October 24, 2013 07:29 AM (BrQrN)

15 buyer beware. Kinda like marriage

Posted by: Nevergiveup at October 24, 2013 07:29 AM (t3UFN)

16 The Detroit city council is planning to use vacant properties for "storage capacity" to assist with the output of the ObamaCare death panels. Maybe there is some revenue in there for them.

Posted by: Roy at October 24, 2013 07:29 AM (VndSC)

17 1 Washington Nearsider at October 24, 2013 11:23 AM (fwARV)

Nah your pulse would leap in your throat and you'd swoon...

8 years means the scent is pretty much flattened out and ust smells like sweet rotten meat.

Posted by: sven10077 at October 24, 2013 07:30 AM (9jfyN)

18 Did he check his pocket for a wallet? Mebe he had gold toofs?

Posted by: Cicero Kid at October 24, 2013 07:31 AM (DHQv9)

19 I saw this movie. It does not end well.

Posted by: blaster at October 24, 2013 07:31 AM (W6bkf)

20 Interesting that an apartment in Paris can also go unsold for 8 years. I'll assume it's not some fancy place like Jason Bourne's.

Posted by: Waterhouse at October 24, 2013 07:32 AM (Lw+sl)

21 I'd hug it!

Posted by: Bob Filner at October 24, 2013 07:32 AM (Kkt/i)

22 meh.

Put the corpse on the porch with a handful of cigars and you're good to go.

Posted by: Fritz at October 24, 2013 07:32 AM (UzPAd)

The corpse is a registered Dimocrat, I'm sure.

And probably voted for TFG at least four times.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit at October 24, 2013 07:32 AM (0HooB)

24 I saw this movie.

It does not end well.

Posted by: blaster at October 24, 2013 11:31 AM (W6bkf)

"I want to play a game...."

Posted by: EC at October 24, 2013 07:32 AM (GQ8sn)

25 Meh, whatever. You call the cops, they remove the body, you have a cheap apartment. You think that's the only house/apartment in the world where someone died?

Posted by: Mr. Moo Moo at October 24, 2013 07:32 AM (0LHZx)

26 They failed to mention that the new owner heard a disembodied voice say "Get Out!" after finding the body. Of course, it was in French.

Posted by: Roy at October 24, 2013 07:32 AM (VndSC)

27 If you get a fresh one you could at least sell the kidneys. This guy is pretty much screwed.

Posted by: Gristle Encased Head at October 24, 2013 07:33 AM (+lsX1)

28 In our mini-development of about 30 houses on 1/2 acre or 1 acre lots, one house has been abandoned for more than two years. There's a piece of paper taped on a window with a phone number for the Tampa Bay area

Another house is being held off the market by the family; one sold last month after eight months on the marker; another was pulled after months of no offers

a high percentage of failure and angst, there is

Posted by: Vasily the Wily Ukrainian at October 24, 2013 07:33 AM (omBWL)

29 You know who was President of the US eight years ago? Now you know who is at fault.

Posted by: blaster at October 24, 2013 07:34 AM (W6bkf)

30 Someone needs to tell Ace that you don't learn French by eating their brains.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit at October 24, 2013 07:34 AM (0HooB)

A similar thing happened in conjunction with the Christie murders. After killing his last victim, Christie sub-let his flat and wandered away. The landlord ordered the new tenants out, then saw a piece of wallpaper was peeling in one room. He pulled at it, and there were several bodies, all just stuffed in there.

There was also a case - I think in the 1970s - of a German who got regularly drunk and cavorted with hookers in his room. One night, he strangled his date and hid her in a closet, but was so drunk that he didn't remember doing it and, when the body began to decompose, simply bought more air fresheners to mask the smell, since he had no idea what was causing the odor. Fritz Honka, I think his name was.

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at October 24, 2013 07:34 AM (zF6Iw)

32
Up for auction: nice upscale Paris apartment, complete with bar, gourmet kitchen and closeted asian male.

Posted by: Sphynx at October 24, 2013 07:35 AM (OZmbA)

33 Would have made for an interesting episode of Flip This House.

Posted by: Purp[/i][/b][/u][/s] at October 24, 2013 07:35 AM (1djaD)

34 So is an air dried Cambodian the same as a smoked ham? The good news is he seemed to have missed the killing fields.

Posted by: Chaos, it the other dark meat at October 24, 2013 07:35 AM (oDCMR)

35 This isn't a big deal. There are thousands of parents of college students who have said the phrase "Who died in here?!?" after entering a dorm room. Happens all the time.

Posted by: Roy at October 24, 2013 07:35 AM (VndSC)

36 A similar thing happened in conjunction with the Christie murders. After killing his last victim, Christie sub-let his flat and wandered away. The landlord ordered the new tenants out, then saw a piece of wallpaper was peeling in one room. He pulled at it, and there were several bodies, all just stuffed in there. Chris Christie thinks he can run for President with that hanging out there. I mean, if your skeletons in the closet are skeletons in the closet, that's pretty much guaranteed to come out.

Posted by: blaster at October 24, 2013 07:35 AM (W6bkf)

37 O/T, @ AtC and MWR,

Cute animated GIF that made me think of you two:
http://preview.tinyurl.com/m5ytnos

Posted by: ConservativeMonster at October 24, 2013 07:36 AM (0wHyk)

38 So is an air dried Cambodian the same as a smoked ham? The good news is he seemed to have missed the killing fields.

Posted by: Chaos, it the other dark meat at October 24, 2013 11:35 AM (oDCMR)

Can't. Suppress. Laughter. Can't. Breathe.

Posted by: EC at October 24, 2013 07:36 AM (GQ8sn)

39 Mon dieu! Now I am going to have to get some hobo jerky to hang in my place just to keep up.

Posted by: le flounder at October 24, 2013 07:36 AM (Kkt/i)

Wallpaper isn't supposed to be lumpy?

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit at October 24, 2013 07:36 AM (0HooB)

41 "the local vacant homes are already being used as burglary booty stash areas so perps aren't caught with the stolen stuff at home. How much of a stretch is it for them to start collecting bodies too?" Hope for Detroit after all.

Posted by: T. at October 24, 2013 07:37 AM (zI9oJ)

42 Even Holmes on Homes won't touch this apartment.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at October 24, 2013 07:37 AM (2lVGT)

43 How much of a stretch is it for them to start collecting bodies, too?

I believe such a scenario is why Snoop went shopping for a nail gun

http://tinyurl.com/75pg3gm

Posted by: Buddha at October 24, 2013 07:37 AM (8NlUk)

44 "The local sheriff deputies I've talked with say the local vacant homes
are already being used as burglary booty stash areas so perps aren't
caught with the stolen stuff at home. How much of a stretch is it for
them to start collecting bodies too?"

Man, I don't even want to think about the insides of the many, many abandoned houses in my once-decent, now-shitty subdivision. The outsides are bad enough.

There's no way bringing them back will ever be cost-effective. They need to be torched, bulldozed, and the lots left to nature's devices. But that will never, ever happen.

Posted by: Jaws at October 24, 2013 07:37 AM (4I3Uo)

45 "Mummy, I'm home!"

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at October 24, 2013 07:38 AM (lHb9q)

46 a lot of apartments in French cities are owned--for generations, by families, and they hold onto them for like, forever. Vacant or not.

You can rent, but you can't buy, many of the residential properties in most of western Europe. I remember 99-year leases being popular

aujourd'hui, demain.....c'est le meme chose

Posted by: Vasily the Wily Ukrainian at October 24, 2013 07:38 AM (omBWL)

47 I here dressing as a Frenchman with a broken neck for Halloween can be offensive. So I'll stick to my minstrel in black face costume.

Posted by: Ted Danson at October 24, 2013 07:38 AM (wmU4G)

48 He should have left the corpse up until after Halloween. The stiff won't care, and it would make a great ice breaker for an awesome housewarming party.

Probably could sell tickets, too.

Posted by: GnuBreed at October 24, 2013 07:38 AM (wNF3N)

49 THEY FOUND MY STASH!!!

Posted by: Harry Reid, international pederast at October 24, 2013 07:39 AM (fwARV)

50 So did Ace spend time in Paris? This story is oddly familiar.

Posted by: Chaos, it the other dark meat at October 24, 2013 07:39 AM (oDCMR)

51 Man, I don't even want to think about the insides of the many, many abandoned houses in my once-decent, now-shitty subdivision. The outsides are bad enough.

I remember ace posting a story about a nice couple turning one of their homes into a Section 8.

Biggest mistake of their lives.

Setting it on fire for the insurance would've been a better idea.

Posted by: EC at October 24, 2013 07:39 AM (GQ8sn)

We were doing some Death Panel beta testing in France 8 years ago.

And just for the record, this person had a bad cough and probably wouldn't have made it anyway.

Posted by: jwest at October 24, 2013 07:39 AM (u2a4R)

53 Someone needs to tell Ace that you don't learn French by eating their brains. QuÂ’est-que-cÂ’est?

Posted by: Ignorer ces cerveaux dribble sur mon menton at October 24, 2013 07:40 AM (QF8uk)

54 @29 - You just won the Interwebz.....

Posted by: Teresa in Fort Worth, TX at October 24, 2013 07:40 AM (PZ6/M)

55 One here was filled with a yellow jacket nest.
Yes, the whole house. They bagged it, poisoned them, then bulldozed the house.

Posted by: backhoe at October 24, 2013 07:40 AM (ULH4o)

56 "Mummy, I'm home!"

To think of all the trouble the Egyptians went to, when they could've just jammed their deceased pharaohs into Parisian apartments.

Posted by: Waterhouse at October 24, 2013 07:41 AM (Lw+sl)

57 and I forgot to mention the Dunbar House. That one's been on the market for three years. No offers

"needs a little TLC", the ad says. Heh. Needs mucho work-o, pronto

Posted by: Vasily the Wily Ukrainian at October 24, 2013 07:41 AM (omBWL)

58 "Setting it on fire for the insurance would've been a better idea."

I do wonder why there's not a not a whole lot of that going on. Hell, you'd even think the banks holding the foreclosures would want to make the continuing problem go away without troubling the insurance companies for payouts.

Posted by: Jaws at October 24, 2013 07:42 AM (4I3Uo)

59 Hiding dead bodies in abandoned houses? Please. That is so 1972.

The new hot?

Moving into a perfectly good investment property when the owner is fixing it up and claiming ownership as a squatter.

Posted by: Detroit at October 24, 2013 07:42 AM (25HWz)

60 Hey...Pierre LeFroggy you did it WRONG!!

Posted by: David Carradine at October 24, 2013 07:42 AM (wmU4G)

61 I'd pee myself, and I'm not ashamed to type that outloud.

Posted by: Washington Nearsider at October 24, 2013 11:23 AM (fwARV)

***

I think the 'p' is silent.

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at October 24, 2013 07:42 AM (lHb9q)

62 Obviously the previous owner had a shitload of family that gave a fuck. Probably related to jwest.

Posted by: maddogg at October 24, 2013 07:43 AM (xWW96)

63 There's a website devoted to tracking houses where people have died as the Houston Chronicle reports:

http://tinyurl.com/oho276k

Posted by: GnuBreed at October 24, 2013 07:43 AM (wNF3N)

64 Moving into a perfectly good investment property when the owner is fixing it up and claiming ownership as a squatter.

Posted by: Detroit at October 24, 2013 11:42 AM (25HWz)

/boggle

Link?

Posted by: ConservativeMonster at October 24, 2013 07:43 AM (0wHyk)

Couple of questions: how did he buy the home, if the previous owner was tied up in the closet? Who signed the docs?

And... did the gendarme NOT think to look for his dead body IN HIS HOME when he turned up missing 8 years ago???

Posted by: BurtTC at October 24, 2013 07:43 AM (TOk1P)

66 There's no way bringing them back will ever be cost-effective. They need to be torched, bulldozed, and the lots left to nature's devices. But that will never, ever happen.

xx

Hey, don't be premature. We've got you covered!

Posted by: Devils Night in Detroit- Arsonists Local 1 at October 24, 2013 07:43 AM (25HWz)

67 You have to buy it to find out what's in it.

Posted by: Century 21's Nancy Pelosi at October 24, 2013 07:44 AM (FcR7P)

68 @64:

Ask and you shall receive:

http://tinyurl.com/9swuwrn

Posted by: Detroit at October 24, 2013 07:46 AM (25HWz)

69 There's no way bringing them back will ever be cost-effective

Some flipper/rehabber bought a foreclosure right across the street from me that had been sitting empty for a year. The home inspector he hired gave me a peek inside before the renovations. Everything was trashed and blown out, even the ceramic tile floor was all busted up and had to be replaced.

Dude paid $50k for it. I estimate he had to have spent a bare minimum of $40k on the rehab with materials/labor (he hired contractors for everything).

After an extended period of fruitlessly trying to rent it, it finally sold for less than $80k.

Posted by: Purp[/i][/b][/u][/s] at October 24, 2013 07:46 AM (1djaD)

70 What's worse than finding out your house was the basis for Poltergeist? Finding out the bodies are still in the house.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at October 24, 2013 07:46 AM (2lVGT)

48 He should have left the corpse up until after Halloween. The stiff won't care, and it would make a great ice breaker for an awesome housewarming party.

Probably could sell tickets, too.

----------

Strange tale, in a little southern town where I went to college, the funeral home had stashed the remains of a carnival worker who died in the 1930s and whose fellow carnies never paid for his embalming/internment. They put him in an old plate glass candy counter in their garage. The fun part is they never locked the garage door so for sheets and grins it was a ritual to visit him. He was known as Spaghetti Man since most thought he looked Italian. Somewhere around the 1980s the State paid the funeral home to bury Spaghetti Man thus ending one of the few unique and free attractions available in town.

Posted by: Chaos, it the other dark meat at October 24, 2013 07:46 AM (oDCMR)

sortir!

Posted by: disembodied voice at October 24, 2013 07:46 AM (GjPnA)

73 how did he buy the home, if the previous owner was tied up in the closet? Who signed the docs?

It was a bank repo.

Posted by: Purp[/i][/b][/u][/s] at October 24, 2013 07:47 AM (1djaD)

74 There was a similar incident here in the US several years ago. A guy bought a car at a police auction that had some junk in the trunk.

Posted by: WalrusRex at October 24, 2013 07:47 AM (XUKZU)

75 Moving into a perfectly good investment property when the owner is fixing it up and claiming ownership as a squatter.

Posted by: Detroit at October 24, 2013 11:42 AM (25HWz)

/boggle

Link?

Posted by: ConservativeMonster at October 24, 2013 11:43 AM (0wHyk)

I've seen several of these stories in the Brit papers. Something about their squatter laws makes it very easy for vagrants to "move in" and claim residency inside a home that is owned by someone else.

One story I read was about a family that was vacationing abroad for several months, and then returning home to find that it was completely taken over by an immigrant family that thought it was abandonned. They were lying ofcourse, but the Brit homeowners could NOT evict them. Talk about fucked up.

Posted by: EC at October 24, 2013 07:48 AM (GQ8sn)

76 Wow. There's a place up for auction. I'd looked at it when I was house hunting, and they wanted a curiously exact figure: $94,760. Not $95K, not $94.5K, so that gave it away as a bank owned property. But it is every bit the fastballs Purp named. IMO, it should be condemned, and razed. Mold, termites, and general yuck. I feared for my life, and spent tops two minutes on the premises before abandoning ship.

Posted by: I R A Darth Aggie © at October 24, 2013 07:50 AM (1hM1d)

77 "Hey, don't be premature. We've got you covered!"

Posted by: Devils Night in Detroit- Arsonists Local 1

So what you're really saying is that I need to hand out matches, oily rags, and certain street addresses to the sketchier Halloweeners who show up at my door?

Posted by: Jaws at October 24, 2013 07:50 AM (4I3Uo)

Despite the passing of time, the dead man had not decomposed.

He's a beatified saint! It had to be murder, not suicide!

Posted by: Meremortal at October 24, 2013 07:50 AM (1Y+hH)

79 Sheeeit, maybe I should just go squat in some McMansion repo out in Wellington and upgrade my crib?

Posted by: Purp[/i][/b][/u][/s] at October 24, 2013 07:50 AM (1djaD)

80 how did it get mummified?

Posted by: soothie at October 24, 2013 07:51 AM (VAOtO)

31 -

This is why I don't read fiction. If you have books on serial killers, some of the details of how these guys (and yeah, it's mostly guys) did what they did, it's much more interesting than anything any foppish writer can come up with for himself.

There was another guy, can't remember his name, he was flushing his victims parts down the toilet, and was discovered because... well, it was an apartment building, and other people had toilets too.

Posted by: BurtTC at October 24, 2013 07:51 AM (TOk1P)

82 From a story on bloomberg yesterday, "Steve Schwarzman's Blackstone Group LP (BX) has spent $7.5 billion acquiring 40,000 houses in the past two years to create the largest single-family rental business in the U.S.

With all the PE money going into single family housing units you can imagine the coming opportunities in nascent industries like body removal financing and mobile cremation equipment leasing. Areas with a large foreclosure/suicide overlap should really heat up in the coming years!

Posted by: Gristle Encased Head at October 24, 2013 07:51 AM (+lsX1)

83 They were lying ofcourse, but the Brit homeowners could NOT evict them. Talk about fucked up. They could have been evicted. Three "S" method. Shoot. Shovel. Shut up.

Posted by: rickb223 at October 24, 2013 07:52 AM (cUARf)

There was another guy, can't remember his name, he was flushing his victims parts down the toilet, and was discovered because... well, it was an apartment building, and other people had toilets too

Dennis Nilsen

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at October 24, 2013 07:52 AM (zF6Iw)

85 They could have been evicted.
Three "S" method.
Shoot. Shovel. Shut up.

Remember, these was in Britain.

Posted by: EC at October 24, 2013 07:54 AM (GQ8sn)

86 Posted by: Detroit at October 24, 2013 11:46 AM (25HWz)

Good grief. That's Detroit specific? Pretty sure evicting unauthorized people from the home you're living in isn't that difficult, even in a crazy state like CA.

(though I have heard dead-beat tenants do get to live rent free for a few months or soemthing if they know how to work the system)

Posted by: ConservativeMonster at October 24, 2013 07:55 AM (0wHyk)

87 This.

Posted by: EC at October 24, 2013 07:55 AM (GQ8sn)

88 Ted Cruz's fault!

Posted by: Y-not at October 24, 2013 07:55 AM (5H6zj)

89 I imagine all manner of similar "prizes" are going to be discovered in the hundreds of thousands of boarded up foreclosed joints here if that backlog ever gets worked through.

Dead pets. Nickelfuckers move out and leave their cats and dogs to starve to death.

I hate people.

Posted by: HeatherRadish™ needs a beer at October 24, 2013 07:55 AM (/kI1Q)

80

how did it get mummified?

It's not actually mummified. They probably are saying that the body was basically dry preserved, coming out like beef jerky.

If he was on a fourth floor walk up without air conditioning, the heat and dry humidity conditions would be about right.

Posted by: jwest at October 24, 2013 07:55 AM (u2a4R)

91 "Dude paid $50k for it. I estimate he had to have spent a bare minimum of $40k on the rehab with materials/labor (he hired contractors for everything).

After an extended period of fruitlessly trying to rent it, it finally sold for less than $80k."

As I was saying - Messrs. Fuego and Deere are a far more attractive solution to the glut of unfixable, unsellable shit rotting away in our neighborhoods.

Posted by: Jaws at October 24, 2013 07:56 AM (4I3Uo)

92 I've noticed that ace hasn't posted anything at BB's The Conservation in a few weeks now. Also no sign of Iowahawk there. Was there a tiff?

Posted by: GnuBreed at October 24, 2013 07:56 AM (wNF3N)

84 -

You must have some of the same books I do.

Quick, without looking... name the German dude who made his victims into sausage.

Posted by: BurtTC at October 24, 2013 07:56 AM (TOk1P)

94 Posted by: EC at October 24, 2013 11:48 AM (GQ8sn)

When did we cede Detroit to the Brits?

Posted by: ConservativeMonster at October 24, 2013 07:57 AM (0wHyk)

95 I here dressing as a Frenchman with a broken neck for Halloween can be offensive. So I'll stick to my minstrel in black face costume. Posted by: Ted Danson ---------------- Unless..., you do it as an LED version of a Hangman picture.

Posted by: Mike Hammer at October 24, 2013 07:57 AM (aDwsi)

The good news here is that you can move to Paris, take out a mortgage and not pay for 8 years until someone comes to kick you out.

This place has just moved up on my list of retirement cities.

Posted by: jwest at October 24, 2013 07:58 AM (u2a4R)

97 My SIS and BIL just bought a $575K fixer upper here in SoCal. Sheesh, I am going to be busy. At least it has a granny flat for my mother. TG

Posted by: The Jackhole at October 24, 2013 07:58 AM (nTgAI)

98 Quick, without looking... name the German dude who made his victims into sausage. Posted by: BurtTC ------------- Eichmann? I denounce myself.

Posted by: Mike Hammer at October 24, 2013 07:58 AM (aDwsi)

99 Found hanging, eh? well, at least the previous owner died doing what he loved to do..

Posted by: soothie at October 24, 2013 07:59 AM (VAOtO)

100

The guy could have had worse, like buying a used fridge on Craigslist from Jeffrey Dahmer.

Posted by: Roy at October 24, 2013 07:59 AM (VndSC)

101 They could have been evicted. Three "S" method. Shoot. Shovel. Shut up. Remember, these was in Britain. CSS. Club. Shovel. Shut up.

Posted by: rickb223 at October 24, 2013 07:59 AM (cUARf)

102 Maybe he didn't decompose because he mummified first? Possibly in a dry hot attic apt?

Posted by: Jesse Pinkman, PhD Bitches! at October 24, 2013 08:00 AM (As/N8)

103 suicide bonus? he's a frikkin mummy! that's kinda cool, all things considered not a bad trade if you ask me

Posted by: soothie at October 24, 2013 08:00 AM (VAOtO)

104 It's almost impossible to evict tenants in Britain--doesn't matter if they've stopped paying rent. You pretty much need to get the town council to find them another place to live, and then ask 'pretty please' and cross your fingers and be willing to wait a few years.

Posted by: Vasily the Wily Ukrainian at October 24, 2013 08:00 AM (omBWL)

105 The good news here is that you can move to Paris, take out a mortgage and not pay for 8 years until someone comes to kick you out.

This place has just moved up on my list of retirement cities.

Posted by: jwest at October 24, 2013 11:58 AM (u2a4R)

And when you're old, your kids can leave you to die to a heat wave in your dinky un-air-conditioned apartment. It's like you two were meant for each other!

Posted by: ConservativeMonster at October 24, 2013 08:01 AM (0wHyk)

106 You must have some of the same books I do. Quick, without looking... name the German dude who made his victims into sausage. Adolph?

Posted by: rickb223 at October 24, 2013 08:01 AM (cUARf)

107 California case about 30 years ago. The mother brings a new man into the house and her son does not get along with the guy. mom goes to work and son vanishes, A few days later she gets a telegram from her son saying he was all right.

Skip forward almost two decades and new owners of the house. They get to poking around to renovate and find a strange trench in the crawl way under the house. Where they find a body so they call the police. The mummified body turned out to the remains of the missing teen. And it turns out the boyfriend finally got tired of the grief, capped the teen, buried him under the house, sent the telegram, and there it all rested until the new owners.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at October 24, 2013 08:01 AM (2lVGT)

108 Nood up.

Posted by: ConservativeMonster at October 24, 2013 08:01 AM (0wHyk)

109 Style update reminder: Ted Cruz is the new GW Bush.

Posted by: Journoleasts 'B' We at October 24, 2013 08:02 AM (Es08n)

110 Style update reminder: Ted Cruz is the new GW Bush.

Posted by: Journoleasts 'B' We at October 24, 2013 08:02 AM (Es08n)

111

106 You must have some of the same books I do.

Quick, without looking... name the German dude who made his victims into sausage.

Adolph?

----------

Sausage not lampshades. No self respecting German would ever eat a sausage not made of pork.

Posted by: Chaos, it the other dark meat at October 24, 2013 08:02 AM (oDCMR)

112

106 You must have some of the same books I do.

Quick, without looking... name the German dude who made his victims into sausage.

Adolph?

----------

Sausage not lampshades. No self respecting German would ever eat a sausage not made of pork.

Posted by: Chaos, it the other dark meat at October 24, 2013 08:02 AM (oDCMR)

113 how did it get mummified?

Same way every other natural mummy gets mummified. Body dries out in an environment that lacks organisms (macro-and micro-) that feed off dead flesh.

They turn up in crypts, peat bogs, deserts, glaciers. Humans and animals.

If the Mummies of the World exhibition comes by you, it's worth an afternoon.

Posted by: HeatherRadish™ needs a beer at October 24, 2013 08:02 AM (/kI1Q)

114 how did it get mummified?

Same way every other natural mummy gets mummified. Body dries out in an environment that lacks organisms (macro-and micro-) that feed off dead flesh.

They turn up in crypts, peat bogs, deserts, glaciers. Humans and animals.

If the Mummies of the World exhibition comes by you, it's worth an afternoon.

Posted by: HeatherRadish™ needs a beer at October 24, 2013 08:02 AM (/kI1Q)

115 Beagle posted this Fox News link in last night's ONT:

http://tinyurl.com/m2lz8hc

Soldiers attending a pre-deployment briefing at Fort Hood say they were told that evangelical Christians and members of the Tea Party were a threat to the nation and that any soldier donating to those groups would be subjected to punishment under the Uniform Code of Military Justice.

A soldier who attended the Oct. 17th briefing told me the counter-intelligence agent in charge of the meeting spent nearly a half hour discussing how evangelical Christians and groups like the American Family Association were Â“tearing the country apart.Â”

Posted by: GnuBreed at October 24, 2013 08:02 AM (wNF3N)

116 Beagle posted this Fox News link in last night's ONT:

http://tinyurl.com/m2lz8hc

Soldiers attending a pre-deployment briefing at Fort Hood say they were told that evangelical Christians and members of the Tea Party were a threat to the nation and that any soldier donating to those groups would be subjected to punishment under the Uniform Code of Military Justice.

A soldier who attended the Oct. 17th briefing told me the counter-intelligence agent in charge of the meeting spent nearly a half hour discussing how evangelical Christians and groups like the American Family Association were Â“tearing the country apart.Â”

Posted by: GnuBreed at October 24, 2013 08:02 AM (wNF3N)

117 Nood up. ------------ Not hanging, one hopes.

Posted by: Mike Hammer at October 24, 2013 08:03 AM (aDwsi)

118 Nood up. ------------ Not hanging, one hopes.

Posted by: Mike Hammer at October 24, 2013 08:03 AM (aDwsi)

119 Before I post the link, let me just say the Cards DESERVED to lose the game last night. Hell, any HS team could have beaten them with the HORRIBLE fielding (let's just watch the ball drop between us, mmmkay?) and silent bats. They fucked it up...plain and simple, no matter what Lester may or may not have had in his glove. Ok, having said that, this is making the rounds today: http://tinyurl.com/qbeur3l

Posted by: [/i][/b][/u][/s] Tami - CARDS - W.T.F. was that?!!!! at October 24, 2013 08:03 AM (bCEmE)

120 Before I post the link, let me just say the Cards DESERVED to lose the game last night. Hell, any HS team could have beaten them with the HORRIBLE fielding (let's just watch the ball drop between us, mmmkay?) and silent bats. They fucked it up...plain and simple, no matter what Lester may or may not have had in his glove. Ok, having said that, this is making the rounds today: http://tinyurl.com/qbeur3l

Posted by: [/i][/b][/u][/s] Tami - CARDS - W.T.F. was that?!!!! at October 24, 2013 08:03 AM (bCEmE)

121 113 Nood up.

------------
Not hanging, one hopes.

Posted by: Mike Hammer at October 24, 2013 12:03 PM (aDwsi)

What, don't want to hang out?

Posted by: ConservativeMonster at October 24, 2013 08:04 AM (0wHyk)

122 So to end this thread, we should be grateful the deceased was not named Chad.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at October 24, 2013 08:04 AM (2lVGT)

123 It's not actually mummified. They probably are saying that the body was basically dry preserved, coming out like beef jerky.

You just described mummification, dude. It's not always brains-out-the-nose.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Otzi

Posted by: HeatherRadish™ needs a beer at October 24, 2013 08:05 AM (/kI1Q)

124

98 -

Heh. The sad thing is, I realized after I asked that I may not have been specific enough, since there are multiple cases of people eating their victims.

The correct answer for those of you scoring at home is: Fritz Haarman.

But you will also get partial credit if you said Adolph Luetgert, or Carl Grossman.

Posted by: BurtTC at October 24, 2013 08:06 AM (TOk1P)

125 A Hillary thread kind of is a mummy thread. Heh.

Posted by: HeatherRadish™ needs a beer at October 24, 2013 08:07 AM (/kI1Q)

126 Quick, without looking... name the German dude who made his victims into sausage.

Posted by: BurtTC at October 24, 2013 11:56 AM (TOk1P)

Fritz Haarman.

Name the Frenchman who killed Jews and disposed of them in an oven.

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at October 24, 2013 08:07 AM (zF6Iw)

127 I think someone done fucked up... http://tinyurl.com/nnxwqdf Sparks Middle School shooting followed anti-bullying videoÂ’s theme Amaya Newton, an eighth-grader at the Nevada school, says students were shown a video on Oct. 11 that featured a victim threatening bullies with a gun. Newton says the unidentified shooter was often mistreated and may have been inspired by the alleged video.

Posted by: RWC at October 24, 2013 08:11 AM (fWAjv)

128 It's not actually mummified. They probably are saying that the body was basically dry preserved, coming out like beef jerky.

You just described mummification, dude. It's not always brains-out-the-nose.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Otzi

Posted by: HeatherRadishÂ™ needs a beer at October 24, 2013 12:05 PM (/kI1Q)

You guys should talk to Ace. He has a lot of experience with Hobo Jerky.

On another note: Where else can you get involved with an argument concerning dried out dead people ?

Posted by: The Jackhole at October 24, 2013 08:12 AM (nTgAI)

129 Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at October 24, 2013 12:07 PM (zF6Iw) Name the American with a human breast vest and a belt made of nipples. Not Reid, the other one.

Posted by: RWC at October 24, 2013 08:14 AM (fWAjv)

130 Jon Cary?

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at October 24, 2013 08:16 AM (2lVGT)

131 Heh, he said "booty"...uhhhh huh huh huh huh...huh huh huh...

Posted by: Butthead at October 24, 2013 08:31 AM (vd7A8)

132 Bodies in vacants? The Wire. So good. Shows unions, schools, the ghetto and dems in realistic -often unfavorable - light as well. Few punches pulled, great crime drama. Sad it only ran 5 seasons.

Posted by: 0302 at October 24, 2013 08:40 AM (dUZih)

133 43 How much of a stretch is it for them to start collecting bodies, too?

I believe such a scenario is why Snoop went shopping for a nail gun

http://tinyurl.com/75pg3gm

Posted by: Buddha at October 24, 2013 11:37 AM (8NlUk)

********************************

Shit right here's tight. Word. Fuck this nailin' up boards. You can kill a couple mf's with this right here.

Posted by: Caesar North of the Rubicon at October 24, 2013 08:41 AM (uIG35)

134 This guy will never, ever get the smell out of that apartment. Talk to anyone who does fire, flood, etc. reclamation(Serv Pro, like it never even happened, types) and they will tell you that short of removing every piece of drywall, flooring, plaster, window sill, carpet, fabric, and possibly the underlayment and studs, the smell is permanent. Maybe a blanket spraying of everything with Kilz, LOL.

Posted by: Jen at October 24, 2013 08:41 AM (Puar7)

135 126 Bodies in vacants? The Wire. So good. Shows unions, schools, the ghetto and dems in realistic -often unfavorable - light as well. Few punches pulled, great crime drama. Sad it only ran 5 seasons.

Posted by: 0302 at October 24, 2013 12:40 PM (dUZih)

************************************

Most memorable characters of any show ever. Yo, Omar comin'!!

Posted by: Caesar North of the Rubicon at October 24, 2013 08:43 AM (uIG35)

136

Okay, it's official ... Purp is the only one who didn't see The Wire ...

*points*

Posted by: I have MS-NBC for that at October 24, 2013 08:59 AM (sq9q3)

137 "Maybe a blanket spraying of everything with Kilz, LOL."

Negative, Ghostrider.

The single older lady who once rented the house nextdoor to us, smoked 3 packs a day, and kept a menagerie of big dogs and cats left that place unlivable. The owner tried bleach, Kilz, new carpet, linoleum, and a couple coats of paint. No dice.

They ended up ripping a lot of that cosmetic cover out and replacing most of the subfloor on the main level after a year of no renters.

Posted by: Jaws at October 24, 2013 09:08 AM (4I3Uo)

138 Sounds like the comments thread to an NRO article: Infested with trash*

Just came from a John Fund article about the "Navigators" over there, and it is positively overrun with libtard flying monkeys.

Posted by: A Balrog of Morgoth at October 24, 2013 09:46 AM (Q9qpj)

139 Most memorable characters of any show ever. Yo, Omar comin'!!Posted by: Caesar North of the Rubicon at October 24, 2013 12:43 PM ------------------------ Killed the hell out of the cast though. Just when you like somebody, boom. Brains on the wall. But yeah, Omar is my favorite gay TV character of all time by far. No stereotyping there.

Posted by: 0302 at October 24, 2013 11:37 AM (dUZih)

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